1 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:06,880 Speaker 1: Are you really open? Are you alcome? Everything's going to 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: be okay? Are you okay? Yeah? 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:12,240 Speaker 2: I'm fine. 4 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: I'm pretty freaking far from okay. Are you okay with this? 5 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:24,159 Speaker 1: And the live audience is Saturday Night Live applauded a 6 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: joke about the possibility of President Trump being assassinated in 7 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: a theater. Here is the audio. President Trump attended the 8 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: opening night of Chicago at the Kennedy Center. And I 9 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: think that's cool that the president is going to the theater. 10 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: I mean, what's the worst that could happen. 11 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 2: Is that the John Wilkes booth Lincoln shot in the head? 12 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: Okay with that? 13 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 2: Look, I'm alright with it because I'm not offended by 14 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,680 Speaker 2: I'm not offended by comedy, but I just want consistency, 15 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 2: because I got a feeling if somebody had made that 16 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 2: joke about somebody had been shot on the left. Now, 17 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 2: it's hard for me to think of anybody, because right now, 18 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 2: the assassination game's kind of a monopoly on one side 19 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 2: of the political aisle, or at least the attempt at 20 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 2: assassination attempts. I don't think they would have had their 21 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 2: hair on their peaches to pull it off. But because 22 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,559 Speaker 2: it's Trump and he's been shot at before. Oh sure, 23 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 2: let's go ahead and make the joke. Look, I grew 24 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,320 Speaker 2: up watching Richard pryor Eddie Murphy, you know, Dave Chappelle, 25 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 2: Chris Rock jokes don't offend me. But all I'm asking 26 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,840 Speaker 2: for is consistency. If you're gonna make the gross assassination 27 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:49,160 Speaker 2: joke about Donald Trump right there, that's fine, but equal 28 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 2: opportunity start making through jokes about some folks on the left. 29 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 2: That's all we're saying. 30 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: Let's go to baseball. The Colorado Rockies have a new 31 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: item in the concession stand this year. It's a two 32 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: foot one point five pound hot dog served on a 33 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: nineteen inch roll. It costs forty five dollars. Are you 34 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 1: okay with this? 35 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 2: I am okay with this because we've talked before about 36 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 2: this nine to nine to nine trend. Okay, where you're 37 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 2: supposed to eat nine hot dogs, drink nine beers, and 38 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 2: nine innings of a baseball game. Well, the Rockies have said, okay, 39 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 2: we'll see that and we're gonna raise you this two 40 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 2: foot nearly two pound hot dog served on a nineteen 41 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 2: inch roll. So what I want to do is go 42 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 2: to Colorado. I want to eat this bad boy and 43 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: drink one of those beer bats. Have you seen the 44 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,440 Speaker 2: beer bats? Yeah, I've had him at Victory Field before. Yes, 45 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 2: I want the extra large beer bat and the big 46 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 2: Mamma jama, the big ass hot dog here. I feel 47 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 2: like I could work on that thing and that'll last 48 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 2: me most of the ballgame. 49 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: There there was a foot long There was an om 50 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 1: at the hotel we were staying at at Disney at 51 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,520 Speaker 1: the Yacht Club is where we were staying is right 52 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: next to Epcot. One of the things there in house 53 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: in the hotel was a fifteen dollars foot long hot dog. 54 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: Fifteen dollars. That's a little overpriced. Everything is just a 55 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: tad overprice. Yeah. 56 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 2: I mean you got to think when you're going to 57 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 2: one of these hotels or resorts or even a ballpark, 58 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 2: you're gonna end up paying a little bit more than 59 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 2: you normally would if you were to buy this thing 60 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:32,919 Speaker 2: at Crop. 61 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: Even at the airport in Orlando. My wife, we got 62 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: there super early. She ordered three hash browns and three cokes. 63 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: It was twenty one dollars. Good lord. A ninety year 64 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: old woman hammer in Ohio broke the world record for 65 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 1: longest dead hang at just under three minutes. You know 66 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: what a dead hang is? I don't. Well, I think 67 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: it's no. I know what it is. It's a you know, 68 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 1: you put a metal bar in between like a doorway, 69 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: and you hang off of it with your feet off 70 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: the ground, so you're just dangling somebody. You're dangling for 71 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: three minutes. This is a ninety year old woman. Harder 72 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: than it looks. Did it? Broke the world record for 73 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: the longest dead hang at three minutes. Here is Anne 74 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: chatting right before she broke the record an scow time 75 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: in about four hours. How you feeling nervous? What do 76 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: you think you'll be able to get it? I guess 77 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: I have to. Sounds a little bit easier than it 78 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: actually is. Are you okay with Anne breaking the record 79 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: for the dead hang. 80 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 2: As long as she didn't break her hip during the 81 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 2: dead hang? I'm all right with her breaking the record. 82 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: Sure. 83 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 2: I would be a little leary though if I were 84 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 2: the caregivers of Ann. It's like, look, I get it, 85 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 2: You're ninety years old. You don't want to just sit 86 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 2: around and wait to die. You want to live, You 87 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 2: want to do some living. But what if she it's 88 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 2: up there, dead, hangs, falls, breaks her arm, breaks her hip. 89 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 2: Now she has in hospice care, and she dies. 90 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: I'm sure she has spotters, and she wasn't dangling that 91 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: far off the ground either, But I mean. 92 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 2: Hell, they squeeze one arm of hers when they catch her, 93 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 2: She's gonna turn into like a smush banana that like 94 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 2: has been sitting out in the sun too long. Like, 95 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: I just don't think this is the proper health routine 96 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,279 Speaker 2: that Anne needs to be going through. 97 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 1: All right, one more here the smushed bana. Ann's arm 98 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: is like a smashed banian. 99 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 2: It's all brown and soft white. 100 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,239 Speaker 1: The White House, all right, let me get through this one. 101 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,799 Speaker 1: The White House has asked Congress to approve one hundred 102 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 1: and fifty two million dollars in funding to reopen Alcatraz. Okay, 103 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: that's a state of the art secure prison facility there. 104 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 1: I think, well, it's off. It's like San Francisco, right. 105 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: The money, the money just cover the first year of 106 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: costs of rebuilding a welcome to the rock, Ladies and gentlemen, 107 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: are you okay with with one hundred and fifty two 108 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 1: million dollars to reopen Alcatraz? 109 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 2: Listen? They're going to spend our money on crap, whether 110 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 2: we like it or not. It's either going to be 111 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty two million bucks to put some 112 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 2: bad guys in the middle of the water, or they're 113 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 2: going to take one hundred and fifty two million bucks 114 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 2: and investigate why pandas are trans So your money is 115 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 2: going to be spent either way. So if I can 116 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 2: put some bad guys out in the middle of the 117 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 2: water and surround them by sharks with freaking laser beams 118 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,719 Speaker 2: attached to their heads, I say do it.