WEBVTT - The Making of A Husband (Guest: Sarkie Ampim) 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.720 People would assume that you're only interested in what people 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:06.880 would commercially call a team. What would you say about that? 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:09.480 I realized that a lot of really beautiful women, the 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:12.239 ig baddies that y'all might call it's a headache. I 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.480 prioritize peace instead of just looking at the exterior of 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.239 a woman and considering that true beauty and actually looking 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:20.120 at other aspects. I've been able to grow a lot. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:23.079 Do you still have an idea or a physical type? 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:24.880 And I don't actually want you to say what it 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:25.760 is if you do, I. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.479 Don't think I have a type out dated women from 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:30.600 all over the world. Yes, I like a woman who 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:34.199 really is presentable, dresses herself nicely, carries herself well. I'm 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:36.120 always attracted to that, So yeah, I would say that's 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:38.040 my type. I love how you're talking in town. 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:40.839 We keep trying to lead you to a physical you 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:43.800 start talking about the internal part of a one, because that's. 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:46.040 What I've learned throughout this journey. When I used to date, 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:48.440 I was just caught on lust. But I shared with 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.760 you behind closed doors how I started to my abstinence journey. 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:54.160 I'm eight months now, and that helped me a lot 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:57.480 with just seeing past the vessel, increasing my discernment, just 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:59.640 really being able to pick apart what's actually going on, not 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:01.320 being just trated by what's right in front of me. 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.600 What are the things that people really just get wrong 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:15.839 about you? What started as a search for understanding became 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:20.000 a journey of transformation. Every letter that I wrote led 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:24.520 me to this day. The day I got married November 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:26.480 the twenty second, twenty twenty five. 0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:32.720 Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:37.200 long I'll love you. Those lyrics echo through every fiber 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:39.320 of my soul at the very thought of you. 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:44.320 This journey has culminated with you as both the award 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.800 and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:51.680 the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:54.440 of growth, healing and becoming the man I needed to be. 0:01:55.280 --> 0:02:00.000 And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance, 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:04.560 the gift promised to those who refuse to faint. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:09.840 This isn't just our story, this is for all of us. 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:11.680 I'm a Terrasaur Whitfield. 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:13.720 I'm Ashley are Whitfield. 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:16.239 Welcome to the podcast. 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:23.760 Did y'all enjoy that? We gotta keep it real. We 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:26.600 gotta keep it real. So this brother I saw a 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:31.360 video that went viral this past week. It came in 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:34.160 my news feed, and the way I was notified of 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.040 this video is that he made a video saying that 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:40.720 he was out of a relationship and that he and 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:45.359 his ex girlfriend have planned on attending a wedding and Portugal, 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:48.320 and since the relationship was over, he was gonna have 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:50.400 to attend it by himself. And he was so listening 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:54.200 his social media audience saying, Hey, if you're interested in 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:57.160 joining me, I want you to fill out this app 0:02:57.560 --> 0:02:59.760 and come join me. I got the hotel taking care 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:03.440 of and come see me in Portugal. I'll pay for everything, 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:05.640 I said. Hold on now. The reason why I found 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:07.880 out about it because a bunch of my homegirls was 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:09.720 in the comments talking about I'll go. I said, what 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:12.280 you're talking about? You stranger danger, You're about to go 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.760 meet this guy and go to a whole nother country. 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:18.200 And people leaving funny comments saying either this is this 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:20.480 is how I met my husband or this is how 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:24.760 I got sex traffic. So you know it's either or so, 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:30.640 without further ado, welcome to the Dear Future WIFEI Podcast. Sarky, ampem, 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:33.080 put your hands together, y'all make some knowingse stand on 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:34.359 your feet and welcome. 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:41.240 Sarky, this brother tall and the mug. Ain't it good, 0:03:41.320 --> 0:03:45.080 Lord Sarky? 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.200 Yes? Yes, how tallow you six seven six seven six 0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:55.360 that say she'd have been in the segment before this 0:03:55.440 --> 0:04:00.680 with girls saying she wants somebody over six too. So listen, Sorky, 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:04.160 how you doing today? You good? I'm good man, can't complain. 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:06.800 Let let the people know where do you live? What? What? 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:06.960 What? 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:07.920 What city do you live? 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:10.680 I'm based here in New York City. I live in 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:14.440 my Haven, South Bronx. Yeah, yeah, so you went from 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:15.080 the Bronx here. 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:18.800 No tripping over here, y'all. 0:04:18.800 --> 0:04:21.320 Are somebody's racing there? 0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:25.599 One person hand right there? Why y'all say it like that? 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:27.000 The Bronx is real. 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.440 Far because it took three hours to get here. 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:37.080 Long trip. So, Saky, the video that I'm referencing, you 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:42.120 posted a video saying that you're looking for a date, 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.240 and it was during labor day? What made you and 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:45.880 what prompted you to make that video? 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:48.200 I make videos all the time, so I didn't really 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.120 think anything of it. I was just kind of like 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:51.640 having fun with it. I was like, let me see 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:53.480 how people react. I thought I was going to get 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:56.480 laughed off the internet, because usually that's what happens. But 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:59.000 you know, people kind of reacted the way they didn't. 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:01.200 I'm surprised. I was called off guard, honestly, know. 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.880 You said the way they did, how did they react? 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:04.960 It was crazy. 0:05:05.000 --> 0:05:08.960 The DMS comments over ten thousand comments, the dms over 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:09.599 six hundred. 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:11.200 I can't even get through all of them. 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:12.960 I'm still going through them my homegirls and helping me 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:13.920 kind of filter through. 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:18.080 Yeah, it's crazy. And so what are women saying in 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:20.000 your dms? The stuff that you can say in church. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.040 I'm just talking about you can say in church. It's 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:24.479 just ranges from things like pick me. 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.400 People sending emails to my work email with resumes with 0:05:28.440 --> 0:05:29.320 your pictures on it. 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:33.080 And it's crazy, man, they're sending it to your work email, 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:33.720 my work email. 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:36.200 I'm getting WhatsApp numbers because they're looking up my numbers 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:36.760 through work. 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:40.359 Yeah, so they doing research and finding out how to 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:42.599 get in contact with you because they're like, they don't 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:44.440 want to compete with the messages in the DMS, so 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:46.840 they're trying to find other way it's LinkedIn too, it's 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:50.359 LinkedIn coming to professional rap? How many y'all got linked in? 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:53.680 Look at y'all? So they say they're gonna slide into LinkedIn. 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:55.960 So you've been So you've been sifting through a lot 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:59.039 of those comments. Has anybody caught your eye? Yeah? 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:01.160 This is a few. 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.359 And so what is your approach? I was talking to 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:08.000 you earlier this week and I said, now, Sorky, are 0:06:08.040 --> 0:06:11.320 you the type that just looks at women's profile if 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:14.080 you meet them on the street, that you just look 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:17.000 and smile. Are you a one that would shoot your shot? 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:20.320 What did you say? Shoot my shot? Man? So you 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:23.960 would shoot your shot? Have you always been like that? 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:25.279 Or have you been intimidated? 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:27.800 I think I was intimidated when I was younger, but 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:31.520 then once I started kind of gaining that confidence growing up, 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:33.880 especially like in college, because you shoot your shot a 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:34.600 lot in college. 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:35.160 You get a lot of no's. 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.599 And then I got into sales after that I kept 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.040 hearing no and then yeah, from that point on, man, 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:41.720 I just shot my shot all the time. 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:44.960 Say shoot the shot all the time. And so have 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.200 you ever are you a person that's marriage minded? Do 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:51.000 you desire marriage for sure? Why? 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:53.400 Because of the home that I grew up in. Both 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:57.080 my parents were married until my father passed unfortunately. So 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:00.080 that's what I've seen, and that example is something that 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:00.920 I want to carry on. 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:05.599 What value do you think marriage brings to you or 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:07.080 would bring to you as a man? 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:13.440 Structure, faith, purpose. I want to create a family. I 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:15.360 want to pass on my culture and the values that 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:19.560 I've been taught for my parents onto them. Responsibility. I 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:23.160 think these are things that definitely would feel. 0:07:22.960 --> 0:07:24.480 Free to jumping in time you feel like asked if 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:26.000 you have you have a question in your mind. 0:07:27.080 --> 0:07:27.600 I didn't. 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.800 Okay, well you ain't got to let the people know 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:34.360 where are you from? Where's where's your background culturally? 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:36.880 Ghano West Africa? 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:43.800 We got some Ghandians in here. Yeah, and so your culture? 0:07:43.880 --> 0:07:48.880 What does your culture look like? Or when you're choosing 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:53.240 a partner, does your mom have an opinion on it? 0:07:53.920 --> 0:07:57.360 Absolutely tell me how my mom extended family. 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:01.520 Everybody want to get involved and play that out for us. 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.920 What would happen if you met a woman that you 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.680 really liked and you brought her home to mom and 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:10.040 Mom said, no, I'm not feeling her. I have to 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:10.480 hear her out. 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.040 Man I've realized that my heart and my mind have 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:14.920 led me astray a lot in life. I don't know 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:17.160 it all. So if my mom, who knows me very well, 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:19.800 see something wrong in someone, I'll want to figure out why. 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:22.160 But doesn't mean I'm just automatically going to cancel out 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:24.080 the woman, but I would definitely hear her out. 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:28.720 Oh no, Now I have a question, So do you 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.680 as a man? We hear a lot about women having lists? 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:33.320 Do you have a list? 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:37.199 I do have a list. There's certain criteria that's important 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:40.080 to me. The most important that I realized I wasn't 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:43.160 applying in past relationships was really like does a woman 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:44.600 live by godly principles? 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:49.080 Thanks? God wasn't the. 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:51.319 Center of my relationships, And I feel like that's why 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.360 they all crumbled, and God wants me to kind of, 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:57.240 you know, really implement that moving on forward. So now 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.199 that's the number one thing I look for. And then 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:01.640 after that is really what kind of home do they 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:04.559 come from? What's their relationship like with the father? How 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:07.520 do they view men? Do they hate men? Because I've 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:10.800 been running into that a lot in dating, and it's 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:13.080 kind of like, well, I have no shot here if 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:14.959 you just hate men, then why might even here? 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:20.439 Yeah, what about physically physically tall? 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:23.080 Because I'm six seven so five eight? 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:32.680 En up? Yeah, like I said, oh man, but if. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:34.760 I was to meet someone that was short and everything else, 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:37.160 you know, you never know, man, God just for the surprises, 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:39.040 So I can't canceler everybody. 0:09:39.559 --> 0:09:43.839 What about physically as far as attraction? You know, you 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:46.520 and I had a conversation about that that people would 0:09:46.559 --> 0:09:50.880 assume that you're only interested in what people would commercially 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:53.800 call a ten, and you made a whole video that 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:57.360 you sent me about that. What would you say about that? 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.600 You're talking about the that the tens and they'll choose 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:03.120 a six or something for peace? 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:05.960 Yeah, I mean, I've realized that a lot. 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:08.800 Of really beautiful women, the ig batties that y'all might 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:12.880 call it's a headache, they come with a lot of stuff, 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:16.880 and mostly because I track them because my physique, they 0:10:17.000 --> 0:10:19.959 assume I'm also an athlete. I'm still I'm playing with 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:22.680 that same pool, and obviously I don't make twenty million 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:26.720 a year, so it's stressful for me. So I prioritize peace. 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:30.400 And I've realized that, you know, instead of just looking 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:33.040 at the exterior of a woman and considering that true 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:35.480 beauty and actually looking at other aspects. I've been able 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:37.880 to grow a lot, and I've met a lot of 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:38.520 beautiful women. 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:41.959 But I want to unpack that a little bit. Go 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:47.520 ahead and clap yeah, crab crab crap when you say 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:52.240 a six or seven. Do you still because we talk 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.760 about this on the podcast, do you still have an 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:57.839 idea or a physical type? And I don't actually want 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:00.520 you to say what it is if you do, but 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.319 I do want to know if you do have a 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:04.760 type when it comes to women. 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.319 I asked my friends this all the time because I 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:10.120 don't think I have a type. I've dated women from 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.199 all over the world. You know, I grew up in 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.280 Ghana that I went to the UK and I came here, 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:17.319 so I was in boarding schools. I was around a 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:20.960 lot of different types of people. So I've dated almost 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:25.320 every race. But in terms of like an aesthetic look, 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:28.679 I think, yes, I like a woman who really is presentable, 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:33.800 addresses herself nicely, carries herself well. I'm always attracted to that, confident, ambitious, 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:36.439 So yeah, I would say that's my type. 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:37.920 That's good, that's. 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:40.160 Interesting, and I love how you're talking in town. We 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.200 keep trying to lead you to a physical you start 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:44.960 talking about the internal part. 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.400 Of a one, because that's what I've learned throughout this journey. 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:49.720 That's good. 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.000 Back before when you used to date. 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.360 When I used to date, I was just caught on 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.840 lusts man, But I shared with you behind closed doors, 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:02.200 started my ass in his journey and I'm in eight 0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:04.640 months now, thank you, Thanks loud. 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:07.719 He said, he started absinence journey and he's eight months in, 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:08.760 Praise the Lord. 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.320 And that helped me a lot with just seeing past 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:15.240 the vessel, increasing my discernment, just really being a pick 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.640 apart what's actually going on, not being distracted by what's 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:18.319 right in front of me. 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:20.679 So yeah, so far, so good. 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.199 And I think that's so good what you said just 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:29.560 about prioritizing the values, the core values, which Hubby talks 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:32.720 about in his book Student of Love. But the reason 0:12:32.840 --> 0:12:37.000 why is I tell this story is that in sickness 0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:40.280 and in health is so true. And I remember when 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:45.240 he was with me during a very tough time dealing 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:48.360 with my fibroids. And when I tell you all of 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:52.760 that physical stuff and the six figures, isn't there when 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:55.920 you're you know, on the floor crying, or you need 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.040 someone who's going to show up and love you. And 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.800 so I just want to celebrate you King for saying 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.120 it's not always about that, especially when you say people 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:09.200 say that you would prioritize that, or that you've healed 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:12.520 from that, right, you've come out of that, because it 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:15.720 really is about like how you get to thirty forty 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.679 years with this person who's going to be with you 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:21.559 not on your best days but your worst days. 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:22.080 Yeah? 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:24.720 Amen, Amen, Louie, that's real. 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:31.040 What are some things that people really just get wrong 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.240 about you? Like they may see you on social media, 0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:37.840 they see your videos going viral, they see you growing, 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.079 they look at the aesthetics of you, and what is 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.719 it that you just wish that they really knew about you? 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.800 They think I'm doing it for attention. They think I'm phony. 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:49.960 I get all these dms, so I see what people saying, 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:53.400 but it's the end of that. I can't get caught 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:56.319 up on what people think about me. And people's opinions say, 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:57.080 thank your phony. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:13:59.640 So if they think that you're not really truly desiring 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.520 a real solid relationship. 0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:05.880 Correct, they think I'm just doing it for clout. But 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.160 I guess some creators do do that. So I can't 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:09.480 you know, I can't fault them for thinking that. 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:14.040 Uh, give them your Instagram, tell them your Instagram page. 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:16.839 Does anyone before we do that? Does anyone already know it? 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:18.920 No one's going to raise their hand. 0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.440 Good that over there, she said, she knew she pulled 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:24.560 up right the flower on the front. I was up there. 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:27.680 It's on the flower, it was up there earlier. Yeah, 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:31.520 so so pull Yeah, it's just my name, Sarry key anthem. 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.400 So if you just type that in it should come up. 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:35.920 So I want you all to see a picture of 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.320 him laying on the line chair with his shirt all 0:14:38.400 --> 0:14:40.840 off in some swim trunks, and you can tell me 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:41.760 if he thirst trapping. 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:42.320 Uh. 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.800 And so I want you to tell me how you're 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:50.920 curating your story on social media. 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:55.280 Well, it all started from a breakup about a little 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.520 over a year ago. I just wanted to kind of 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:01.200 find an outlet to just talk. I didn't know where 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:02.520 it was going to go. I didn't know what it 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:04.400 was going to lead to. But I honestly, one day 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:06.240 I just heard a voice was being like, start and 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:07.360 see where it goes. 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:08.280 I was scared. 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.800 I started doing that. I started getting some feedback. I 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.920 started realizing a lot of people were connecting with it. 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:16.920 It was helping a lot of men out there that 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.200 we also dming me. They were shy talking about man, 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:22.000 I think I'm gonna start doing content and then yeah, 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:24.240 one thing will led to another and somehow I'm sitting 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:25.120 here talking to you guys. 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.960 And so you started because after a breakup, you wanted 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:33.400 to and it was interesting because the journey that you 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.240 and I shared. You say, I want to just be 0:15:35.360 --> 0:15:38.120 transparent with the world. You said, you want to use 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.360 your social media platform to say this is who I am, 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:44.600 and journey with me through my own healing. And you 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:46.720 said something so key a minute ago. You said that 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.320 it was a little fearful when you start off. Why 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.520 is it so fearful? Because a lot of men can 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:53.080 attest to this, and I say, a lot of people 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:57.640 period to show up in vulnerability, especially on social media. 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:00.400 Why is that such a fearful thing. I know it's 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:01.480 just judgment from others. 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:04.280 I felt like I was going to be perceived as 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:06.640 soft and not a man, especially just being a black man. 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:09.600 I feel like it's a lot that's on us. And 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:12.280 so yeah, that definitely scared me. But at the same time, 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:15.120 how I was feeling, I'll weighed that fear and that's 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.000 what ultimately made me just you know, go for it. 0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:22.240 And what kinds of testimonies are you hearing? Since you've 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:27.680 kind of been building your page and being transparent, my. 0:16:27.760 --> 0:16:29.800 Story has helped a lot of people get back into 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:33.600 the relationships or leave toxic relationships, which I didn't expect 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:34.600 that to happen at all. 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:35.840 I was just telling my story. 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:39.360 So it's amazing how many people can connect to something 0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.640 that you're going through. You're actually never going through things 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:44.240 alone like people can relate. So it also encouraged me 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.440 and taught me to vent and share more with other 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:49.760 people because you'd be surprised who can actually relate to 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:53.440 your story. And it's people from like Australia, Pakistan, like 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:55.360 all around the world that reaching out to me, and 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:58.200 you'd never think that they'll connect with someone who's from Ghana. 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:01.560 I want you to share the heart of men. In 0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:07.119 the first segment, we Daryl said that a lot of 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:12.120 men don't approach women because they're afraid, they're fearful of rejection. 0:17:12.680 --> 0:17:14.800 What would you say to that when you especially speaking 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:17.640 about your homeboys or you're in a circle. You say 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.639 you ain't afraid, you've heard rejection. You're in sales, and 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:22.680 sales I was in sales. You got to get used 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:26.159 to hearing no, and so that can fashion you not 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:29.119 to take stuff personally. But what do you feel like 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.920 with a lot of men out there afraid or ain't 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.439 gonna say afraid the reason why they don't approach. 0:17:37.440 --> 0:17:39.760 I'm trying to think because my friend group, we all approach, 0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:43.320 So I don't know. I'm just trying to think of 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:46.040 other times when I didn't approach. But sometimes a lot 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:48.000 of women are saying they don't want to be approached, 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:50.679 and a lot of women have body languages that are 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:52.520 very close off. If you go to the bar, the 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:55.240 arms are folded, they're kind of like shining away, so 0:17:55.640 --> 0:17:57.400 it's almost like, well, she doesn't look like she wants 0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:00.720 to have a conversation, why even go over there. So 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:02.800 I feel like if a lot of women were more 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.480 inviting and their energy, maybe if they want to be approached, 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.840 just open up a little bit more, smile, give some 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:11.159 eye contact, give us some signals, and that would encourage 0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.200 men to come up to them. How did you feel 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:17.760 about a woman shooting they shot at you, shoot shoot, 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:21.359 shoot away, all right, So you open to it. 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:23.919 I'm open to it. It happens, It happens. 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:27.359 Have you ever dated someone who shot their shot at 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:28.160 you first? 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:34.240 Yes? Did you date them intentionally? I wasn't. 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:37.240 I wasn't planning on dating them. It just happened. It 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:38.639 was one of those things. It was kind of like 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:40.760 I'm having some fun and before I knew it, I 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:41.520 was wrapped up in it. 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:48.600 But did you find that it changed the way you 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:50.160 pursued them at all? 0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:52.080 That's a great question. 0:18:53.720 --> 0:19:00.879 I'm thinking about the most recent situation, the most recent situation, No, 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:02.120 but situations before. 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:02.440 Yeah. 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:04.159 Why do you think that is? 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:09.200 Because I felt like it came easy, that's the truth. Yeah, 0:19:09.200 --> 0:19:11.200 I felt like, oh this came easy. Like she on 0:19:11.320 --> 0:19:15.000 my body, you know, yeah, I can kind of get 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:15.760 away with some stuff. 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:19.040 So yeah, you said on your level. 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:20.960 No, No, it's like she was on me. 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:23.159 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, she was a pro to you. 0:19:23.440 --> 0:19:25.600 Yes, she was all a boning. 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:32.040 You said it came too easy. Yeah, So do you 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:33.840 like a chase? Yeah? 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:38.440 I think it's important. Why that's just how That's just 0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:40.800 how I've experienced life. I've always worked hard for things 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:44.959