1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 1: Think you no love, well, think again. Listen to the 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: for my Manpodcast at urbanwepodcast dot com, Like and subscribe 3 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts from. Welcome everyone, I'm Jahi 4 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: and I'm excited about this episode of the for my 5 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 1: Man Podcast. In this episode of the for my Man Podcast, 6 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: we meet Chiciro Wnham and her abusive boyfriend, Steve Martin. 7 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: We learn about Chicira's upbringing and the circumstances that led 8 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,840 Speaker 1: her to start a relationship with Steve. After running away 9 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: from home, she ends up with Martin, but she soon 10 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:44,559 Speaker 1: encounters abuse as a result of this relationship. Unfortunately, her 11 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: life abruptly changes into a life of crime. 12 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 2: Growing up poor in the worst part of the city, 13 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 2: Chicairo Wanham's childhood was far from my Dyllick. 14 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 3: Chakivra was born when I was seventeen and a half. 15 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 3: Chicaigra's father he wasn't a good provider. I was the 16 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 3: one that was working. 17 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 4: He was an alcoholic. He had serious mental health issues. 18 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,199 Speaker 4: In fact, she was bipolar. 19 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 2: Chicaira's Father's volatile personality makes her home life extremely unstable. 20 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 5: Chicia's father was a violent man and he was abusive 21 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 5: towards her mother. 22 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 3: When she sees that he will put his hands on me, 23 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 3: Chicago will try to pick up something and hit him 24 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 3: to protect me. 25 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 4: She witnessed it abuse all the time when she was 26 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 4: a child. 27 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 2: Won such event on New Year's Eve proves to be 28 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 2: a defining moment in five year old Chicaira's life. 29 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 3: Chicaigra's father came in the house after having a hard 30 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 3: night of drinking and started arguing with me about something. 31 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 5: The father goes into the kitchen, goes back with a 32 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 5: steak knife and goes after the. 33 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 3: And he stabbed me in the back. Then he pulled 34 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 3: it out and came at my heart and then came 35 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 3: at my throat, and Chicigro was standing right next to 36 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 3: me watching everything happen. 37 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 2: Despite a punctured lung, Deneen survives the attack. She returns 38 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,280 Speaker 2: home two days later, but will need the next eight 39 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 2: months to heal. The incident is burned into Choiciro's psyche, 40 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 2: and it will pave the way for all of her 41 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 2: male relationships to come. 42 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,119 Speaker 6: When we see a child who's exposed to violence, then 43 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,639 Speaker 6: that violence becomes part of their lives. Either they choose 44 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 6: someone who's very violent, in order to live with later 45 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 6: on in life, or they perpetrate that violence. 46 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 5: She was unprepared for the or it was about to 47 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 5: occur if it wasn't for love. 48 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 3: Chicago will that never committed this act. 49 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: You are listening to the for My Man podcasts. Stay 50 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 1: tuned for more. 51 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:15,239 Speaker 2: At five years old, Chakirajanam witnesses her father brutally attack 52 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 2: her mother, Deneen, with a knife. After eight months of 53 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 2: recovery at home, Denen survives and cuts him out of 54 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 2: their life for good. With her dad out of the picture, 55 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 2: Chakira blossoms. 56 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 4: She did well in school. She had good grades. She 57 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 4: got a's and b's. 58 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 3: Chicigra was very smart. She wanted to be an obstetrician 59 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 3: for pynecologist. Chicira had a lot of. 60 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 2: Dreams, but Chakira's dreams are quickly interrupted. Over the next 61 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 2: ten years, she watches helplessly as her mother is abused 62 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 2: by a string of men. Chicira starts looking for an escape. 63 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 5: She was eleven years old when she started running away 64 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 5: from her house. She would pack her clothes and sneak 65 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 5: out at night when her mom was asleep. 66 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 3: She will sneak out windows. She will sneak out fire escapes. 67 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 3: She always always managed to get out. 68 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 2: Chakira's late night excursions expose her to a dark world 69 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 2: on the streets. 70 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 5: She would meet up with boys, they'd give her drugs 71 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,719 Speaker 5: and alcohol, and she would have sex with them. 72 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,159 Speaker 6: Chakira certainly wasn't able to make rational decisions about life, 73 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,359 Speaker 6: and certainly she was at risk to these predator type 74 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,120 Speaker 6: of individuals who saw her as being very vulnerable. 75 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 2: By the time Chakira is seventeen, she has been living 76 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 2: on and off the streets for a number of years 77 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 2: and is addicted to drugs. Deneen tries to get her 78 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 2: daughter help and sends her to various drug treatment programs. 79 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 3: Chicira spent three quarters of her life in treatment centers 80 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 3: because I was trying to and find out what was 81 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 3: going on with her. She did succeed in those treatment centers, 82 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,120 Speaker 3: but when she came home a week later, maybe two 83 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 3: weeks later, she would do the same thing. 84 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 2: But all of that changes when twenty three year old 85 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 2: charmer Stephen Martin sets his sights on Chicira. 86 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,040 Speaker 4: Chakira saw Stephen on the street and somehow they ended 87 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 4: up talking. 88 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 2: Within days, they're inseparable unlike all other men in her life. 89 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 2: Stephen showers her with affection. 90 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 5: She had a good time with him, and he treated 91 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 5: her like she wanted to be treated. 92 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 3: I think Chicira felt as though she has someone in 93 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 3: her life that is finally showing her some attention, and 94 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 3: she just gravitated towards it. 95 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 2: Stephen is a well known drug dealer, but to Shakira 96 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 2: he acts like nothing but a prince. So when he 97 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 2: asks her to move in with him just two months 98 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 2: after they meet, Chakira thinks she's finally found everything she's wanted. 99 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 3: He would run her bathwater, fix food for her. She 100 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 3: didn't think a guy could treat it that way, and 101 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 3: she was going to do everything she could not. 102 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:09,919 Speaker 5: To let it go. 103 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 2: But that feeling doesn't last. Not long after the two 104 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 2: start playing house, Chakira learns that her guardian angel is 105 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 2: actually a devil in disguise. All the money Stephen makes 106 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,279 Speaker 2: from dealing has one purpose to support his addiction to 107 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,600 Speaker 2: a street drug called wet. 108 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 6: Wet is a drug concoction where you take a regular 109 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 6: cigarette and dip it in PCP. So individuals sometimes they 110 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 6: become very very violent. At other times they even become psychotic. 111 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 2: Suddenly, the affection that Chakira has been desperately craving is 112 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 2: now coming at a much steeper price than she ever imagined. 113 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,719 Speaker 5: He became up. There were times that he would ask 114 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 5: her to do something, and when she didn't want to 115 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 5: or she couldn't, he would start hitting her. 116 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 6: Chakaira stayed in this very abusive relationship with Stephen because, 117 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 6: in many ways, she wanted that old Stephen, the one 118 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 6: who made her feel very special, and she held out hope, 119 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 6: against hope, that she could bring that back in him. 120 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 3: She wanted to do everything she possibly could to please 121 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 3: this person. 122 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 4: When Chicaira met Stephen, she had no idea that she 123 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 4: would end up in jail. 124 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: Hey Drew Crime Listeners, We've got something new from TV 125 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: one and the Urban one podcast network. It's the for 126 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:51,400 Speaker 1: My Man podcast, sharing stories of women who risk everything 127 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: for love, even their freedom. How Far would You Go 128 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: for Love? Here the full episode now at urbanwepodcast dot 129 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: com or wherever you get your podcasts.