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Speaker 1: I was very superficial. I had one of those stupid lists.

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Speaker 2: Why do you call that list superficial?

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Speaker 1: You know when little girls were thinking of like, oh,

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Speaker 1: prince charming, and it's over time that prince charming turned

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Speaker 1: into what my ideal husband would be.

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Speaker 3: I think it's interesting because a lot of women think

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Speaker 3: like that.

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Speaker 2: I ain't never met a man that thought like that.

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Speaker 1: I had this list.

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Speaker 2: A lot of people can fit the list.

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Speaker 3: It's not like we go, she has to look like this,

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Speaker 3: she has to be this hight, this skin tone, she

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Speaker 3: gotta be fine.

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Speaker 2: Women be having a picture in their brains.

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Speaker 3: You talked about starting off as a young girl, but

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Speaker 3: we hear prince charming and prince charming. If we focus

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Speaker 3: on even that name, he's just charming and the physical

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Speaker 3: attributes of him. We just start creating this. And so

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Speaker 3: this is what happens a lot, and this is the truth.

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Speaker 3: And women get mad about it. They go, he married

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Speaker 3: this type, but he keeps liking this on social media.

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Speaker 3: When I say this to women, they may not understand.

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Speaker 3: And there's a different category that men put wives in

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Speaker 3: and women that he put that he.

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Speaker 2: Just smashed in. And that is two distinct categories.

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Speaker 3: And women confused themselves to be like, but he married this,

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Speaker 3: and be like, yeah, he.

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Speaker 2: Spent his life with that. He gave that to his name.

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Speaker 2: Just looks. Proof is in the push.

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Speaker 4: I remember talking to, you know, one of the mentors

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Speaker 4: that I had. He said, if you ever find a

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Speaker 4: woman that's too good to be true, married, I've apposed

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Speaker 4: to it, like right after, because I was like, I

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Speaker 4: need to make sure that this stays in my life.

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Speaker 2: And that was it for me. I need to make

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Speaker 2: sure this stays in my life.

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Speaker 3: Look at she looked at she melt and over. We

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Speaker 3: got your little one doing the technical side of the

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Speaker 3: episode today.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, shout out to CJ.

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Speaker 5: So.

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Speaker 2: So we we drafted CJ.

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Speaker 3: So if y'all hear me sometimes given technical direction to him.

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Speaker 2: Let's just jump into y'all love story, all right.

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Speaker 3: What started as a search for understanding became a journey

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Speaker 3: of transformation.

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Speaker 2: Every letter that I wrote led me to this day.

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Speaker 2: The day I.

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Speaker 3: Got married November the twenty second, twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 6: Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how

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Speaker 6: long I'll love you. Those lyrics echo through every fiber

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Speaker 6: of my soul. At the very thought of you.

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Speaker 3: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 3: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 3: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

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Speaker 3: of growth, healing, and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 6: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 6: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 3: This isn't just our story, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 2: I'm the Terisaur Whitfield.

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Speaker 7: And I'm Ashley are Windfield. Welcome to the Dear Future Podcast.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the Dear Future Wife Podcast. I'm your host Litarisar.

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Speaker 7: With hild and I'm Ashley are with filter listen?

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Speaker 3: Are you still shacking up with us? Come on, if

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Speaker 3: you're still shacking up with us, can we get a commitment?

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Speaker 3: Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you turn

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Speaker 3: on your notification bell so you be notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 2: It is so important for you to hit that subscription button.

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Speaker 3: We do these episodes on a weekly basis, and we

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Speaker 3: spend so much time, energy and finances making sure that

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Speaker 3: we deliver this content free of charge to you. And

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Speaker 3: so the way you show your support and appreciation is

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Speaker 3: simply hitting that subscription button and make sure you turn

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Speaker 3: your notification bell because a lot of times people are saying,

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Speaker 3: how do I know when y'are going live on Wednesdays

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Speaker 3: at nine am Central Standard time. Well, the way you

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Speaker 3: find out is you get a notification email let you

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Speaker 3: know that we are about to go live thirty minutes

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Speaker 3: before we actually go lives, or make sure you hit

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Speaker 3: that notification bell man. Today's episode is gonna be quite fun.

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Speaker 3: I got my people on the podcast, I got my buddies, uh,

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Speaker 3: and we're gonna we're gonna unpack how they've been instrumental

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Speaker 3: and building the brand of one of my projects. So,

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Speaker 3: without further ado, welcome to a Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

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Speaker 3: My homies Charles and Johnson mcgil how y'all doing really.

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Speaker 1: Excited to be here. Thank you so much for.

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Speaker 3: Having us guys, Thank you so much. Charles, can you

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Speaker 3: put your microphone closer to close?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Right there, right there, so listen.

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Speaker 3: We got your little one doing the the technical side

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Speaker 3: of the episode today.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, shout out to CJ.

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Speaker 2: So so we we we drafted CJ. So if y'all

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Speaker 2: hear me.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes given technical direction, to them like right now, CJ.

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Speaker 3: Go to the camera three and so we're training up

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Speaker 3: a child in the way they should go.

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Speaker 2: Amen.

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Speaker 1: And it's this actually a blessing because a lot parents

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Speaker 1: won't bring their kids to something like that. You know,

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Speaker 1: we really try to immerse them in everything that we do.

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Speaker 1: We tell them about our clients to inspire them. So

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Speaker 1: you letting him do that is like, thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: This actually really this.

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Speaker 4: Is a total alignment in so many ways because we

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Speaker 4: actually recently decided to even take them out of school

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Speaker 4: and homeschool them so that they can, you know, better

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Speaker 4: grow their talents. Because this boy they want, the one

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Speaker 4: that's listened to us right now. During the State he

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Speaker 4: even saying he wanted to be a billionaire since he

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Speaker 4: was five years old in front of it, and he

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Speaker 4: also was able to explain asked them at five years old,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, what does that even mean?

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Speaker 2: Like how do you become a billiaire?

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Speaker 4: He said, well, you pay a lot of people, do

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Speaker 4: a lot of things at five years old. I said, hey, man,

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Speaker 4: that's it. So this boy's been understanding things. He's been

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Speaker 4: breaking down business ideas to me for a while. He's

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Speaker 4: now ten and and and the school told us at

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Speaker 4: this point, They're like, we just don't have anything for him,

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Speaker 4: and so we're like, listen, we don't want to block

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Speaker 4: his blessing. We want to figure this thing out. So

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Speaker 4: who knows, Maybe this is it.

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Speaker 6: Man.

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Speaker 3: It's cool because what I've always found, it's all about exposure.

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Speaker 3: Ashley was a former school teacher in her earlier life

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Speaker 3: in her twenties. But she talks about exposing kids and

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Speaker 3: she's really, I mean, let me not even speak on it.

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Speaker 3: You right here, So what do you think about exposing

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Speaker 3: kids and stuff like this.

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Speaker 8: Well, experiences are what make kids, basically, they set them

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Speaker 8: up for life. And so when there's a lack of exposure,

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Speaker 8: sometimes we don't even know how high we can go

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Speaker 8: or what is possible.

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Speaker 7: Right.

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Speaker 8: We did Teach for America shout out to Teach for

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Speaker 8: America together actually the same year I just found out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the world go to the wire shot.

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Speaker 3: SoJ I want you, when you see us talking as

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Speaker 3: a as a group, go to camera three. So go

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Speaker 3: to camera three and let us sit on camera three

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Speaker 3: for a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I was Miami cor Yeah, and I was New.

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Speaker 7: York City core. Crazy. That is crazy. We're not the

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Speaker 7: same age though.

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Speaker 2: You want to make sure you say that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I always say that.

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Speaker 2: You remind me. That's right, that's clear.

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Speaker 7: He was a little older when he got into the court.

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Speaker 4: I went the non conventional path. I didn't go directly

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Speaker 4: out of college. Uh So, I just I was actually

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Speaker 4: a community organizer out in Oakland and decided just to

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Speaker 4: apply because people had said, well, when I was organizing,

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Speaker 4: they were like, you know, you should help out more people,

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Speaker 4: you help out the kids. And I never thought about

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Speaker 4: being a teacher. I was like no, you know, like,

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Speaker 4: like what do you mean. They're like, well, there's there's

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Speaker 4: only two percent of you know, the population of teachers

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Speaker 4: is black males. And I thought about it. I was like, well,

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Speaker 4: the only black male teacher. I only had one. And

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Speaker 4: that one that I had was my junior year in

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Speaker 4: high school and he was the reason why I went

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Speaker 4: to college. And so I thought, well, maybe if I

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Speaker 4: could help out somebody else, you know. So that's why

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Speaker 4: I just applied, just went online and you know what

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Speaker 4: grade did you teach?

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Speaker 2: Seventh grade math?

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 4: In North Miami.

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Speaker 7: Oh that's dope, that's dope.

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Speaker 1: And I went on to become a principal.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yes, at the same school.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no. I went from Miami.

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Speaker 4: Then I went to New York to become a dean

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Speaker 4: out there, and went to grad school out there, and

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Speaker 4: then met John C. And then we moved to Sacramerica, went.

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Speaker 1: To grad school at Columbia.

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Speaker 4: And then I came out to California, where I became

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Speaker 4: principal out there.

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Speaker 2: It was everywhere. Yeah, man, so you went to New

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Speaker 2: York and that's where she taught.

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Speaker 1: Where did you teach?

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Speaker 8: I taught at Excellence Boys Charter School, so.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yeah, he's your Canarsie. Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah so that was but that was twenty thirteen,

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Speaker 4: I think, so were you still there?

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 8: I left in twenty twelve and then I went I

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Speaker 8: went back to LA to work at the Broad Center. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 8: that's crazy, and he did.

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Speaker 1: So.

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Speaker 8: I taught all boys kindergarten and first really really impactful

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Speaker 8: teaching all little black boys, like I loved, loved it.

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Speaker 1: So that's awesome.

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Speaker 4: Common school, so you know exactly the type of teaching

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Speaker 4: that we were doing and how yes.

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Speaker 8: Yes, yeah back then, you know I was I think

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Speaker 8: I was like the second cohort at Hunter College, which

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Speaker 8: is now Relay Graduate School of Education. So it was

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Speaker 8: like back then, like Dave Levin was one of our professors,

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Speaker 8: which if people don't know, Dave is one of the

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Speaker 8: founders of KIP, so you know KIP as we know

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Speaker 8: it today. Like I used to just sit in grad

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Speaker 8: school and be like, this is really cool.

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Speaker 7: So yeah, we were.

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Speaker 8: We were definitely trailblazing some ideas at uncommon, some that

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Speaker 8: were found to be great and some maybe not so great,

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Speaker 8: you know, But I think we just give ourselves grace

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Speaker 8: because we were trying to really create opportunities in neighborhoods

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Speaker 8: where people had forgotten about our kids. And I'm gonna

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Speaker 8: say our kids were forgotten about.

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Speaker 3: Unexpected when stuff comes into the conversation that's so uncommon.

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Speaker 2: Exactly.

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Speaker 8: And then one more thing just about exposure is like

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Speaker 8: I do think that for our kids, like a lot

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Speaker 8: of times, if we don't show them what's possible, then

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Speaker 8: we're just raising them.

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Speaker 7: And they don't know.

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Speaker 8: They don't even know that's a career, that's an option

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Speaker 8: or wow, people get paid to do that.

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Speaker 7: And so it is really cool to have CJ here today.

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Speaker 8: Learning about what you know behind the scenes looks like,

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Speaker 8: so that when he does become the owner of several studios, yeah,

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Speaker 8: whatever that is.

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Speaker 7: He can be like, well, I started when I was ten.

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Speaker 3: Remember, I'm gonna Benna be a little older that need

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Speaker 3: to come bless me. That's it, you know, So see

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Speaker 3: back into my life. Bions of dollars you're gonna have,

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Speaker 3: We're gonna be a billionaire.

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Speaker 2: Ain't gonna it ain't gonna.

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Speaker 3: Hurt to you know, Girey, Yeah, man, But that's what

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Speaker 3: I'm talking about. It's these things that happen that you

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Speaker 3: get exposure at a young age and you don't realize

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Speaker 3: the impact that it had. That's the reason why I've

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Speaker 3: always been the type that I leave with an open

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Speaker 3: hand to give kids. I remember we were growing up

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Speaker 3: they say, if you can see it, you can achieve it,

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Speaker 3: you know, And so that we used to say that

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Speaker 3: in kindergarten a lot, and growing up in the hood,

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Speaker 3: growing up in very low economic environments, taught me that

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Speaker 3: I don't have to be the product of my environment.

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Speaker 3: And so when I see a young kid, I'd be like, hey,

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Speaker 3: and these kids know so much so quickly. If they

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Speaker 3: know how to play some of these advanced games, on

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Speaker 3: the iPad. They can clearly learn how to do some

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Speaker 3: switching on some cameras work for them. So that's how

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Speaker 3: I look at it. Let's just jump into y'all's love story,

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Speaker 3: all right. Y'all celebrated ten years of marriage in February.

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Speaker 3: This February of twenty twenty six was ten years Caulationngratulations, congratulations,

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Speaker 3: And just I didn't know what y'all lived in so

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Speaker 3: many different.

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Speaker 2: States, oh man, So let me go back to that.

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Speaker 3: Y'all met in New York and then how many times

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Speaker 3: did y'all move from states?

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Speaker 2: How many states did y'all experience living together?

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Speaker 1: So we met New York. Yes, it's actually a cute

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Speaker 1: little story, all right, all right, So it was it

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Speaker 1: was it was a dark ready night.

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Speaker 9: It was.

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Speaker 1: Street in Harlem.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, before we get there. Hold on, I was traveling

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Speaker 4: from Knarsi to Harlem. And for those who've been to

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Speaker 4: New York, you guys know how long that community. This

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Speaker 4: is hour plus. My phone had actually died, completely died,

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Speaker 4: like it was damage. It just it just wasn't gonna work,

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Speaker 4: you know it Stow's the iPhone And I was really

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Speaker 4: upset because on the train, like that's that's my piece

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Speaker 4: is to listen to music, listen to the audio books,

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Speaker 4: you know, podcast something, and I didn't have it, and

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Speaker 4: I was so upset. So I had to go a

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Speaker 4: whole hour and a half on the train with all

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Speaker 4: the you know, the different stuff on the train.

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Speaker 2: I want to say too.

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Speaker 4: But then I ended up getting off on the wrong

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Speaker 4: stop and it was raining, so I had to walk

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Speaker 4: to one twenty five. I out of want sixteenth. I

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Speaker 4: got to walk to one twenty fifth in the rain.

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Speaker 4: I'm upset, and I went to the AT and T store.

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Speaker 4: That's when John Cy was working. And when I got in,

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Speaker 4: actually I was upset.

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 4: I was an irate customer. I got in, I saw

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Speaker 4: there was a que I saw my name. Seemed like

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Speaker 4: people was playing around and before, like years ago, I

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Speaker 4: used to work at AT and T store myself. So I'm

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Speaker 4: looking at it and I'm like, dang, these people, ain't

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, come on, man.

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Speaker 4: By the time she came to me, I saw her,

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Speaker 4: and I mean I thought she was was pretty, but

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Speaker 4: I was I was like, I don't care about that,

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Speaker 4: You're about to get this work. So I was I

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Speaker 4: was pretty, you know, just very direct with her, and

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Speaker 4: she was was like very kind, you know, she was

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Speaker 4: just kind of smiling at me and laughing. And I

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Speaker 4: ended up, you know, kind of just you know, kind

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Speaker 4: of pressing, and she ended up saying something to me,

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Speaker 4: and it caught me off guard and I was like

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Speaker 4: hold on. I was like, you being condescending and she

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Speaker 4: was like no, and she gave me a big old

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Speaker 4: smile and I was like, man, I'm tripping.

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Speaker 2: I'm being a jerk right now.

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Speaker 4: And so I said, you know, I got to reset this.

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Speaker 4: I gotta figure this thing out. Because then she went

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Speaker 4: to the counter and she was kind of fixing my phone.

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Speaker 4: There was some music playing, and I saw her kind

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Speaker 4: of swaying back and forth doing a little dance right.

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Speaker 1: A little shoulder behind, a little it was a little

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Speaker 1: little hip action, a little little bit she was.

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Speaker 4: She wasn't like full on dancing, but it was, you know,

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Speaker 4: she was just enjoying herself, like she was having fun.

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Speaker 4: And I looked at her and I was just like wow,

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Speaker 4: like she is. God, I need to change this around.

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Speaker 4: I started thinking to myself like how can I how

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Speaker 4: can I somehow get this number because I'm tripping and somehow,

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Speaker 4: so she came back and I said, you know, I

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Speaker 4: was looking at her and I was like, hey, you know,

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Speaker 4: is there any way that you know, we could uh,

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Speaker 4: you know, like talk about something, you know, work together

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Speaker 4: or something, because I was doing like a podcast and

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Speaker 4: I was doing a blog at the time, and I

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Speaker 4: told her about the blog and she said that she

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Speaker 4: had been doing articles and she was also an editor.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, hey, is there any ways that

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Speaker 4: I could you know, get your number or something like

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Speaker 4: that so you can maybe work together on my website.

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Speaker 2: She was like yeah, sure.

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Speaker 4: But in the midst of all this, this is the

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Speaker 4: crazy thing that happened. In the midst of all this,

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Speaker 4: I heard a word that came to my spirit and

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Speaker 4: it was family. And I knew it was something that

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Speaker 4: I had to pay attention to. And so I stopped

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Speaker 4: as I was trying to you know, transition and get

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Speaker 4: her number, and I said, you know, where are you from?

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Speaker 4: Where are your people from?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 4: Cause I'm thinking, is she family? Is God telling me

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Speaker 4: that this is my cousin? I need to stop.

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Speaker 2: So you know, you know, I'll asking we're people from?

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Speaker 4: And she's telling me, you said North Carolina And I'm like, Noah,

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Speaker 4: my people ain't from there, and so I'm like okay.

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Speaker 4: So anyway, I ended up trying to, you know, get

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Speaker 4: the number, and so I asked her for her information.

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Speaker 4: She gave me a business card, and so I asked her,

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Speaker 4: I said, you know, is this your number? And she

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Speaker 4: was like, yeah, it's my number. I was like, is

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Speaker 4: this like your business number or your number and she

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Speaker 4: was like no, it's my number, and so I said okay,

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Speaker 4: So but also I want to I want to also

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Speaker 4: like pause because she gets up substantized because I say

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Speaker 4: my side, but she doesn't tell her side. So what

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Speaker 4: was happening to you while we were doing all day?

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Speaker 2: So?

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Speaker 1: Actually I was supposed to leave. So that's why I

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Speaker 1: say God brought us together because I'd been there from

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Speaker 1: the morning. I was supposed to leave hours before that,

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Speaker 1: but I stayed to help out. And then you know,

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Speaker 1: it was like really he came in like right at

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Speaker 1: closing times. I was like this dude walking in, And

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Speaker 1: so when the customer service girl came to ask me

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Speaker 1: if I could help somebody, I just kind of peeked

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Speaker 1: out and I was like, oh, he's kind of cute.

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Speaker 1: I am. I'll just stay in hell. I need some

364
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Speaker 1: extra money anyway. So but then I went out, you know,

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Speaker 1: after I got my little iPad and everything, I went

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Speaker 1: out and as I started to walk towards him, I

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Speaker 1: saw like this golden orange glow around him. Really yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I'd never seen that before, and I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 1: supposed to help him for some reason. It like, even

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Speaker 1: when I talk about it now and re kind of

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Speaker 1: imagining that in my mind, I get chilled sometimes. But

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Speaker 1: you know that's why I say God, for some reason,

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Speaker 1: God was speaking to both of us in different ways

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Speaker 1: in that moment. It was it was orange and golden,

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Speaker 1: and it was amazing just all around him. And then

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Speaker 1: I go up to him and he's.

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Speaker 3: All, so, so you were around when I grew up

378
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Speaker 3: about the movie Last Dragon where he had got yeah, yeah, glow,

379
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Speaker 3: But I didn't know.

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Speaker 4: I wouldn't focus on none of that, that's right.

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Speaker 3: And so how did that transition from that meeting at

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Speaker 3: her job to something greater?

383
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Speaker 4: Yeah? So I ended up calling her and you know,

384
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Speaker 4: setting up a time for us to get together. And

385
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Speaker 4: when we first we we said, we you know, have

386
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Speaker 4: go to dinner, right, But I didn't know if it

387
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Speaker 4: was a date or not. And and you know, I

388
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Speaker 4: don't think she knew if we didn't know if it

389
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Speaker 4: was a date or not, but I know that, uh

390
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Speaker 4: you know, when I arrived, she had me waiting for

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Speaker 4: a little bit. At least it was an hour, so.

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Speaker 1: You know, I take a little time to get ready.

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Speaker 2: God, so I felt like I was was.

394
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Speaker 1: Also a little test, like, let me see if he

395
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Speaker 1: can tolerate that.

396
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Speaker 4: Usually I felt like I was being tested, so I

397
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Speaker 4: was like, let me just be chilled. You know, she

398
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Speaker 4: came down. I didn't know it was a date until.

399
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Speaker 2: I saw her. So you were sitting outside, sitting car,

400
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Speaker 2: waiting for an hour? For an hour? Was it really

401
00:18:58,920 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 2: an hour? Yes?

402
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 5: Not?

403
00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't And before that, I said, hey, there

404
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 1: was a store on the other side of town and

405
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,200
Speaker 1: that sells the seasoning that I really liked. And I

406
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 1: don't have a car. I knew he had a car.

407
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, before you come, can you just

408
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 1: pop by the store?

409
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, And it was not even out the way.

410
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 4: But it was the most random season I ever. I

411
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 4: had never even heard of this thing, and so I

412
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 4: had to go look. And it wasn't like obvious. I

413
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Speaker 4: had to go look. I ask people like I was like,

414
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 4: so it took me a minute, but I was just like,

415
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:30,879
Speaker 4: why am I even doing this?

416
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 2: But you still got there and then had to wait, Yeah,

417
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 2: with the store still wait.

418
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 4: So I was like, oh, but I'm thinking, like I

419
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 4: don't know if this is professional or not. And so

420
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,479
Speaker 4: I'm just you know, I'm a studious person, and I'm like,

421
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 4: if you give me a task, I task oriented, So

422
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go do the thing. So I was just

423
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,399
Speaker 4: sitting there, but I was thinking myself, am I playing

424
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Speaker 4: myself right now?

425
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 2: Like what that's about? Maybe just be patient to figure

426
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Speaker 2: this out.

427
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 4: But then when she when she came down, oh man,

428
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,600
Speaker 4: and I saw the way she looked, I was like, okay,

429
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 4: this is a date. Uh. She had like a white top.

430
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 4: I forgot the texture. I'm gonna say, cashme or what.

431
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 4: I don't know what the texture was, but it was

432
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 4: this white top. And it was just because when she

433
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 4: at the store, she'd have no makeup on. She was

434
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 4: like wearing baggy clothes, so you couldn't really you know,

435
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 4: you knew she was a beautiful person, but you couldn't tell.

436
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 4: But when she came out and she you know, oh man,

437
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 4: I was like, oh man, this, Yeah, this is definitely

438
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 4: a date, and so.

439
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 2: I don't know what. So we end up going to

440
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:36,680
Speaker 2: the restaurant and then afterward as.

441
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 4: To the movies, and then we were in the movie together,

442
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 4: uh you know, he getting clothes and things like that.

443
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 4: And the thing that I remember the most was just her.

444
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 4: She was kind of motioning, you know, towards me, and

445
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,119
Speaker 4: she kind of had her hair kind of you know,

446
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,720
Speaker 4: hit me in that little bit and I was just like, man,

447
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,040
Speaker 4: I was like, man, this is this is a moment.

448
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,720
Speaker 4: And then we had our first kiss in the theater

449
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:57,880
Speaker 4: and I just I still remember it to this day,

450
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,040
Speaker 4: like it still gives me chills, like thinking about it,

451
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,639
Speaker 4: because right after we got done kissing, I remember just

452
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,199
Speaker 4: looking I was like, I'm in trouble.

453
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm in trouble. This is why was

454
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:09,520
Speaker 2: you in trouble?

455
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,399
Speaker 4: Because I could just see like I wasn't going nowhere.

456
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 2: You're talking from that moment, you knew that.

457
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,040
Speaker 4: From that moment, I was like, this is different. This

458
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 4: is something that because at the time, and I say

459
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 4: this about our us getting together because we both in

460
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,160
Speaker 4: our thirties, is that we had our eyes wide open.

461
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:27,120
Speaker 2: Right.

462
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 4: We have been through you know, I've been through a

463
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 4: previous marriage, I had kids. Uh you know, Johnsy was

464
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 4: just you know, a single person, but had been you

465
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 4: know through.

466
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 1: You know, dating in New York City for a black woman,

467
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,719
Speaker 1: it's not easy, not theiest.

468
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 2: You know.

469
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 3: We let me ask you, as we said, as a

470
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 3: black woman, what's the difference in New York.

471
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 1: Well, it just seems harder for us because you know,

472
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 1: there's there's there seems to be a lack of compatible

473
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 1: black men for us. That's how I felt, and a

474
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,199
Speaker 1: lot of my friends felt when we were in our

475
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 1: twenties dating it was really hard. And then the ones,

476
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 1: you know, the the fellas that were out there, they

477
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: just they just went to play the field. And you know,

478
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:15,239
Speaker 1: I'm I'm in finance and doing all this stuff, and

479
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,239
Speaker 1: they just wanted to, you know, be reckless. And so

480
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,119
Speaker 1: it was really hard finding a mate. So when I

481
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: met Charles, I was like I had kind of given

482
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 1: up at that point. I'm like, it is what mind

483
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,439
Speaker 1: I was. I was even from a young age. I

484
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: was just it's so funny because when I was a teenager,

485
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 1: God put on my spirit that I would have a

486
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: business with my husband. I would have a husband and

487
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 1: we be working together. Really yes, it's.

488
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, we want to get back to that God just God,

489
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 3: just that.

490
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: He really is. And I didn't grow up in the

491
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,679
Speaker 1: church or anything like that. I didn't, uh you know.

492
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: I went to church occasionally with my family on Easter.

493
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,920
Speaker 1: That was an extent. But I always, you know, I

494
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: would pray, and you know, pray through a lot of

495
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of things. But that was always

496
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 1: something that had been on my spirit. And then as

497
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 1: I got older and older into my thirties, I was

498
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, maybe maybe this isn't you know, maybe

499
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 1: this isn't meant for me.

500
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 3: All right, And so in the movies, you got your

501
00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 3: first kiss and you you you locked in, you like,

502
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 3: You're like, this.

503
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 2: Is this is this is it for me?

504
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, we were pretty much insuperable.

505
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 2: After that was your marriage mind?

506
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 4: Uh no, uh socause I already already did that.

507
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, so after that, you just said I'll never get

508
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:42,440
Speaker 2: married again. Yeah.

509
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 4: Before I met her, I was just like, I'm gonna

510
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 4: do my my George, George Clooney, you know at the time,

511
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 4: you know, he was like the you know, the old guy,

512
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,640
Speaker 4: the bachelor, right, So I was like, yeah, I'm gonna

513
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 4: do that basket exactly. I was, I'm gonna do that,

514
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 4: like I was, you know what I'm saying, and and

515
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 4: and so I had my my feel if you will. Yeah,

516
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 4: I knew that I want, you know, something serious, But

517
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,120
Speaker 4: I just I wasn't like trying to you know, find

518
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 4: I wasn't actively pursuing anything. I wasn't you know, looking,

519
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 4: you know, and I wasn't praying about it. I was

520
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 4: just like I was just like, you know what, God,

521
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go ahead and just you know, be the

522
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 4: best version of myself.

523
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 2: That's what I was. That's what it was.

524
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 4: I was just working on me, just trying to be

525
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 4: the best version myself. And that's all I was focused on.

526
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:26,160
Speaker 4: And so when that happened, like that kiss happened because

527
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 4: it rearranged my whole thought because I went from from being,

528
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,199
Speaker 4: you know, I'm gonna be a bachelor to now and

529
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 4: be like I got to marry this.

530
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 2: I was like, oh God, how did you know that? Johnsy?

531
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 2: You know, he just switched that quick was he did?

532
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 2: He started acting different.

533
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 1: Well, you know what after after that first date and

534
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,120
Speaker 1: maybe after like a couple of weeks we did we

535
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 1: like he said, we were inseparable. I was always at

536
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 1: his place. We were always together. I just you know,

537
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 1: I stopped hanging with my friends as much, and we

538
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 1: just spent so much time.

539
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 3: To get you'll spend so much time together that you

540
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 3: got pregnant six month later.

541
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 7: Shout out to c J.

542
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 2: That's how you.

543
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: Didn't know.

544
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 7: Get married first?

545
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 4: He had a question. I think he's done the matthe

546
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 4: yet It's like.

547
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: We're celebrating ten years of marriage and I'm ten. Put

548
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 1: that together.

549
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,719
Speaker 3: And so at what point, so y'all got had this

550
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 3: whirlwind love where y'all six months in get pregnant, and

551
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 3: then at that moment that you start saying, who brought

552
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,879
Speaker 3: up the conversation about marriage at this point? Because because

553
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 3: Charles wasn't thinking about marriage.

554
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 1: Well, I think after I got pregnant, then yeah, he

555
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 1: was like, okay, we have to because he's always been

556
00:25:56,119 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: very mature. He's a very mature person. He's very you know,

557
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: he's just like a little old man.

558
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 2: I've been called.

559
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,520
Speaker 1: He's super wise and super smart. So I think he

560
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 1: just kind of put the puzzle pieces together, like okay,

561
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 1: maybe because you know what, it's funny. God probably handed

562
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: that too, because I don't know if we it may

563
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: have taken us a lot longer to get married if

564
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 1: that hadn't happened. That because I was still kind of

565
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: like on the fence of like, you know, you know,

566
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: still kind of thinking in the back of my way

567
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 1: back in my mind, marriage wasn't going to happen for me.

568
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 1: Even though we were having a great time, you know,

569
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 1: hanging out and getting to know each other and spending

570
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: time together and having deep, wonderful conversations about, you know,

571
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 1: eventually what we want to do in life, I didn't

572
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: think it's gonna Yeah, I think, like I think, we

573
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 1: were both at a place where we just enjoying each other.

574
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 4: And you know, I think because of what we have

575
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 4: been through, we both had in our mind that this

576
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 4: could be short. Just at any moment, this can end.

577
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 4: And we were okay with that because I think, yeah,

578
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 4: because I mean, it's eyes wide open. We were very

579
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 4: mature about it, like we we knew that, you know,

580
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 4: like we we both had passed, you know, we we

581
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,920
Speaker 4: we weren't people who were necessarily like lacking interest from

582
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 4: other people, you know, like I know, John c is

583
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 4: a highly sought after person, you know, what.

584
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 2: She is now she's always been bad.

585
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 4: She always been bad, right, I mean, so I know

586
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:47,160
Speaker 4: she had suitors. I know all types of people wanted

587
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 4: it right and you know I do, Okay, right, So

588
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:50,120
Speaker 4: I wasn't.

589
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 2: I wasn't lacking for.

590
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 4: No hard feelings, no hard feelings, and so you know,

591
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,120
Speaker 4: it wasn't. And that's why I think we were able

592
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 4: to kind of just resting in the relationship because we

593
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 4: were clear about who we were and what we had,

594
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 4: and we had options and we knew that, but we

595
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 4: kept choosing each other. That's the thing that I was

596
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 4: just like so like amazed by is that every day

597
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 4: and no matter what situation it was, we kept choosing

598
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 4: each other. And so when that when when she got pregnant,

599
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 4: it wasn't like oh man, you know, it was like okay, it.

600
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 3: Was like, oh, she doesn't trap me trying to blame

601
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 3: her when you're the one that was participating. We tried

602
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:33,640
Speaker 3: to blame the woman for them getting pregnant.

603
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 4: It was not.

604
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:37,879
Speaker 2: Eyes for this.

605
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 4: But we know the day it happened, okay, because it was.

606
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 2: That it was that kind of day. So right, Yeah,

607
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 2: we had a good time.

608
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: So you know Father's Day.

609
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, So she was like she I don't want to

610
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 4: say everything that happened, but but it was very intentional

611
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 4: and she wanted to celebrate me and we had a

612
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:05,080
Speaker 4: great time.

613
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 2: A few weeks later we re member Father's Day. The

614
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 2: other day we'd be like, boy, we had a time.

615
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: It was very intense, very it was very very you.

616
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 3: Want to celebrate him and so and so it was

617
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 3: an understanding. It was cool. You were just like, hey, listen,

618
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:32,720
Speaker 3: we're choosing each other every day. She's pregnant, I'm finna

619
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 3: choose her.

620
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: When did that?

621
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 3: When did God bring back to your mind that word

622
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 3: that dropped in your spirit?

623
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 2: Family? Wow?

624
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 4: So as we recording, obviously I let her know that

625
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 4: I had kids.

626
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: How many kids? You have three?

627
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 4: I have three, three daughters from a previous marriage. They're

628
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 4: all grown now. So I got twenty five, twenty two,

629
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 4: and twenty and so, you know, she was aware of

630
00:29:56,600 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 4: that and she was okay with it. As we you know,

631
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 4: once she got pregnant, we wanted the kids to meet her,

632
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 4: and she came and flew out and met the kids,

633
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 4: and then she met my mom and my family and

634
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 4: just my family's from California. They were in Cali, so

635
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 4: I was in New York, Sacramento. And so as she

636
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 4: kept meeting people, like the way that they just fell

637
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 4: in love with her in a similar way that that

638
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 4: I did. And the thing about it is like as

639
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 4: soon as we got together, and I don't want to

640
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 4: get into too much of this, but no one really

641
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 4: knew about her when I was in New York. But

642
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 4: shortly after we got together, God started to make it

643
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 4: so that I would be able to come back and

644
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,600
Speaker 4: be with my girls because the previous relationship wasn't it

645
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 4: wasn't great, and so there was I just do a

646
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 4: lot of traveling. So I would travel back to California

647
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 4: when I was Miami, when I was in New York,

648
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 4: I'd be traveling back every month or two to go

649
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 4: see them, right, And that was something I was constantly.

650
00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 4: I was working two three jobs. I was constantly doing that.

651
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 4: Did it around that time that we got together, Uh,

652
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 4: they're my kid's mother. They she decided that, you know,

653
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 4: why don't you come back and let's try to do

654
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 4: some co parenting kind of thing.

655
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 3: And so back Wet City, Sacramento, Sacramento. So you're going

656
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 3: coast to coast, yeah, yeah, yeah.

657
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 4: And so when we got together, it just all started

658
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 4: kind of happening, and I started I was like, God,

659
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 4: this this, this is, this is this is kind of crazy.

660
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 4: As soon as I get with her, all of a sudden,

661
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 4: now you know, I'm able to come back.

662
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 2: You know, we're we're going to work things out.

663
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 4: And just a lot of my relationships started getting better too,

664
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 4: like just healing, and and then and a lot of

665
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 4: another crazy thing that happened as soon as we moved

666
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 4: back and we're doing the cold parenting thing. I ended

667
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 4: up getting a principal job in Sacramento. Then I got

668
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 4: a principal job in Stockton, which is nearby a Sacramento.

669
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,959
Speaker 4: I'm at the school in Stockton, and while I'm at

670
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 4: the school in Stockton, someone comes up to me and says, hey,

671
00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 4: you know, I know your mom. And I'm like, uh, mom,

672
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 4: like you know, and I'm thinking my mom, my stepmom?

673
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: Who actually, who's my mom?

674
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 4: Who raised me? My mom? My biological mom. I didn't really,

675
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 4: you know, grow up with like that. And so I'm like,

676
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 4: who are you talking about? And then long story short,

677
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 4: ended up being her my biological mom. She somehow found

678
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 4: out that I had moved to Stockton and I was

679
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 4: a principal at the school met that knew that girl

680
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 4: and I was her principal, this little girl that was

681
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 4: you know. And then when she met my logical mom,

682
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 4: met my wife, the way they hit it off, it

683
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 4: was just like all this stuff kept happening, like you know,

684
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 4: like just family from everywhere, and it was all like

685
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 4: I could see Johnsy was like at the root of

686
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 4: it because she would be bringing people together, she'd be

687
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 4: telling me to call people, she'd be connecting things and

688
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 4: it's just like, so yes, the family word that has

689
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 4: been like she's been that since the whole ten years,

690
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 4: like I've I'm closer than anyone everyone because of her.

691
00:32:58,960 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: You see what God did.

692
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 3: God drop that word in your spirit at the first

693
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 3: encounter of her, and then God began to heal your bloodline.

694
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 3: He allowed you to start establishing family with john Z

695
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 3: and then started healing. You're talking about your biological mama,

696
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 3: who you didn't have a relationship with at all, now

697
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 3: comes back into your life because your ex wife is

698
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 3: now welcoming you back with a co parenting situation across

699
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 3: the country.

700
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. It was.

701
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 4: It was amazing, Yes, and every I say every year

702
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 4: God reminds me of that word and who Johnsy represents

703
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 4: because even when things are you know, you know, family

704
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 4: is sometimes scenes get get a little questionable. John Cy

705
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 4: is that person that constant for me who's been like, hey,

706
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,600
Speaker 4: give them a call, give them a text, let's try

707
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 4: to reach out. Let's you know, let's do something.

708
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 2: Wow.

709
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 1: So you know, yeah, and were you very close with

710
00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: your family?

711
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 7: Your family is all you're from.

712
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: The So I was raised in New York and my

713
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: mom I was raised by a single mother. I didn't

714
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 1: have a father growing up. So that's part of the

715
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: reason why I, you know, wanted to be with Charles

716
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 1: because in my mind, I always growing up as a kid,

717
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 1: I would be like, oh, if I had a dad,

718
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: he would do this and this, and you know, wanted

719
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 1: a father figure. And I have a stepfather who's been

720
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,000
Speaker 1: kind of in and out of my life since I

721
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: was a child, who's for some reason I was an

722
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 1: adult who's more consistent in my life. But I didn't

723
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: really have a father. And so when I saw how

724
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 1: he was with his girls, how much he loved them,

725
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 1: and just you know, those are like his little princesses,

726
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: and how wonderful they were because of him, I was like,

727
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: you know, this is who I want to have children.

728
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

729
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 1: So, but yeah, being raised by a single mom was

730
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: not easy. It was just, you know, family was not

731
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: really like a strong a strong point, especially after so

732
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, my brother was murdered by the

733
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 1: police in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and so that kind of really

734
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 1: shook our family. It was really, you know, super devastating,

735
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: and I don't think we ever really healed from it

736
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:34,040
Speaker 1: as a family. And so hearing him say that, you know,

737
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 1: I know the importance of all those connections and being

738
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 1: in each other's lives, So you know, that's why, that's

739
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 1: why I wanted him to pursue those relationships as best

740
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 1: he could.

741
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: That is beautiful.

742
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 3: And so after how long did it take y'all to

743
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,399
Speaker 3: get married after y'all got pregnant?

744
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 4: Months?

745
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 2: Right? I mean yeah, yeah, So we got.

746
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 1: We met in January and then found out I was

747
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 1: pregnant like the fall, and then we got married in

748
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: that following February the next year.

749
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,879
Speaker 3: So from a literally a year from meeting each other,

750
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:13,720
Speaker 3: y'all got married.

751
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and we've been inseparable like that even year. We

752
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 4: kind of sometimes count that year that you know, we

753
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 4: were just dating because we just were always together, like

754
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 4: you know, it just it seemed like we just were

755
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 4: locked in. M hm.

756
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 3: And so what did your parents say on both side

757
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 3: when you said, hey, I'm pregnant and hey we're married.

758
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 1: Who my mama was? She was because she's old school,

759
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,960
Speaker 1: you know. She She's like, he better marry you.

760
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 7: What's going what's gonna happen?

761
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm gonna have a shotgun, Like you

762
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,840
Speaker 1: don't have to do that, you know, it's it's fine,

763
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:52,120
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen.

764
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I'm my family. So my mom who

765
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 4: who I really was? You know, who mattered to me

766
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 4: the opinion of the matter the most. My stepmom, but

767
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 4: my mom when she met her, and my mom is,

768
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 4: you know, very spiritual. She's the spiritual core of the

769
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 4: entire family. She told me, she said, she said, son,

770
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,120
Speaker 4: because I've had a lot of bad relationships in the past,

771
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 4: some stuff that not only broke my heart, but my

772
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 4: mom's heart. Because you don't want to see me hurt.

773
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 4: And so, you know, we we kind of together agreed

774
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 4: that I probably should just stay single, like you know,

775
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,919
Speaker 4: and my mom told me, she's like, you know, it's

776
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 4: going to take a very special woman.

777
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: She tells me that he's going to take a special woman.

778
00:37:42,239 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 4: I think that even though you know, you can kind

779
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 4: of see it that way, but I didn't take that

780
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 4: as this because he's.

781
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:51,760
Speaker 1: Just very particular. You know, he's very particular. He's very smart,

782
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: so he needs someone to kind of, you know, be

783
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,600
Speaker 1: his intellectual equal. And you know, he's just and he

784
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: needs a lot of love because he has a big heart,

785
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 1: and people a lot of times take advantage of that,

786
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 1: even in business. They do. So it's like, you know,

787
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: I have to be his protector in business too.

788
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 4: So so she said that, and I knew that. And

789
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,840
Speaker 4: then when she met her, she said, she said that

790
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 4: that woman loves you. She said, she said, son, she

791
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,439
Speaker 4: loves you, and I could tell you that no matter

792
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:28,319
Speaker 4: what happens, you know, she gonna stay with you, right,

793
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 4: it's gonna be okay. So when she gave me that, yeah,

794
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,759
Speaker 4: you cause my mom, he's fiercely in tune, you know

795
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 4: what I mean. And actually, you know my mom, I

796
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 4: don't want to say about the past, but it wasn't

797
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 4: the same reaction for anybody else. She never said that

798
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 4: about anybody else, So when she met Johnsy in particular,

799
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 4: she was like this and that's what's important.

800
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: She knew to say it that way.

801
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 4: This woman loves you because there's been other times, I

802
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 4: think when I was in situations where you know, people

803
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 4: might have gotten me for different reasons, but but the

804
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 4: core of it like being that love. And when my

805
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 4: mom says love, because my mom she represents family, she's

806
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 4: the core. She's the one that she's the glue. I

807
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 4: think her and Johnsy have the same understanding of what

808
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,400
Speaker 4: that means. It's that unconditional kind of love. And I

809
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 4: was just telling Johnsy the other day that, like, she's

810
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 4: the only person in my life that actually reminds me

811
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 4: of what unconditional love is because when I when I

812
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,240
Speaker 4: was growing up, there's so many people that get divorced

813
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 4: in different things, and you know, like you start tripping like,

814
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 4: hey dude, like I ain't got to put up with this.

815
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 4: That's how I was raised, you know, in a lot

816
00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:32,839
Speaker 4: of ways. And so with her though, it's it's never that,

817
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 4: you know, it's like, hey, okay, we can we can fight,

818
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 4: we can argue, we could do whatever. The end of

819
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 4: the day, we're gonna stay together, Like that's not that's

820
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 4: not an option. And my mom is like that too.

821
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 4: My mom is like, she's she's a die hard, but

822
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 4: she loves you. She loves hard and she's committed, and

823
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 4: so you know, she recognized that with Johnsy and so yeah,

824
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 4: you know family and my mom was like, yeah, this

825
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 4: she she loves you. I said, okay, I want to

826
00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 4: also mention too that while we were dating and recording,

827
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 4: her family was advocating for her. John Z's family and

828
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 4: her friends. I never I've never been in a situation

829
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 4: like this. Anytime I got, you know, getting serious to somebody,

830
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,280
Speaker 4: you know, you meet their family, their friends or whatever.

831
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 4: They'll tell you about the person. You kind of get

832
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 4: a sense. This was the only time I ever experienced

833
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 4: was people were advocating, saying like, you got a good one,

834
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 4: this girl right here, don't mess this up. They were

835
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 4: like and not on some cliches that they were like,

836
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 4: she is a really good person.

837
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 2: And I'm surprised you around this long.

838
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 4: You know, I'm surprised you still like, I'm surprised how

839
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:37,720
Speaker 4: many months, Like, I'm.

840
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 1: Surprised, Oh it was. It was. I was very superficial.

841
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 1: I was superficial. I had like one of those stupid

842
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 1: lists of like qualifications and stuff like that. But it

843
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: was Yeah, but that I think that was a sign

844
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 1: of everything that led me to him, because none of

845
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 1: that mattered anymore. It was like his heart and who

846
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: he is as a person was just like, So explain that.

847
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 3: I want you to unpack that, because that's a good

848
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 3: thing to talk about. You had this list, and you

849
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 3: qualified the list by being superficial. You said, I was

850
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 3: very superficial. But then when you start speaking about you

851
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 3: speak about Charles from Whiles, talk about the core values,

852
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 3: the soft skills that he has. He has a good heart,

853
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 3: he's very loving, he's very this. So was your list

854
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 3: absent of that?

855
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:40,359
Speaker 1: No, I mean I was very attracted to him.

856
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,839
Speaker 2: I'm talking of your original list.

857
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 3: When you say superficial, why do you call that list superficial?

858
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:52,239
Speaker 1: Because I think I had an image of who I

859
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: wanted to marry in my mind. I had, like, you know,

860
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,479
Speaker 1: this picture of you know who we're little girls thinking

861
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: of like, oh, Prince Charming, and so over time that

862
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 1: Prince Charming turned into what my ideal husband would be,

863
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: and so I mean it was just.

864
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 2: Ridiculously.

865
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:18,399
Speaker 3: I think it's interesting because a lot of women think

866
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 3: like that, but men don't.

867
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 2: I ain't never met a man that thought like that. Like,

868
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 2: men don't have.

869
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,800
Speaker 7: Like I had this list, well no not.

870
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:31,279
Speaker 3: Not A lot of people can fit the list. So

871
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:33,800
Speaker 3: it's not like y'all have an image in your brain.

872
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 3: It's not like we go, she has to look like this,

873
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 3: she has to be this hype, this skin tone, this whatever, this.

874
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 3: It just be like she just gotta be a good one.

875
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 3: She gotta be fine, like like that, like she gotta

876
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 3: be fine.

877
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:46,399
Speaker 2: What does that mean?

878
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 3: It's whatever he determines fines with the multiple women he

879
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 3: may meet. Women be having a picture in their brain.

880
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 3: And when you don't fit that, like you don't hear

881
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 3: men talk about she got to be this height, she

882
00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 3: gotta be that, don't.

883
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 2: We don't do that. Women do that all all the time.

884
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 3: So that's why I want to know when you had

885
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 3: this list and you and you called it superficial, what

886
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,919
Speaker 3: made you create that? Because you talked about starting off

887
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 3: as a young girl, where we hear prince charming and

888
00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,439
Speaker 3: prince charming if we focus on even that name, he's

889
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 3: just charming. But it's like in the in the physical

890
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 3: attributes of them, we just start creating this and then

891
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 3: you hear this whole. I remember I had we had

892
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 3: Coras on the podcast and she made the comment that

893
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,399
Speaker 3: he just has to be five nine, What do you say?

894
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 2: Five ten? He has to be at least nine as

895
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 2: at least five to nine, And.

896
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 3: So she put that on and everybody was like, I

897
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 3: mean they just going in about five. And then you

898
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:44,879
Speaker 3: had a lot of women saying, oh, yeah, at least

899
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 3: five nine because she's a taller woman. But you would

900
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 3: just hear them argue with that. Men don't get that specific.

901
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 8: Maybe not as specific, but I've certainly heard some men

902
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 8: be like, I like her at least five five, five

903
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:00,080
Speaker 8: to five seven, I like brown eyes.

904
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 3: Like I.

905
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 4: Think okay, I would say I would say if a

906
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 4: man said something about likely it has something to do

907
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 4: with something physical. I mean, just to be real, like

908
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 4: like for me, like I say, it wasn't to me

909
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 4: about like how tall a woman was. It was for

910
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 4: me like if I got if I came and wrap

911
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 4: my arms around you. You know what I'm saying, do

912
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 4: we match? You know what I'm saying doesn't line up right?

913
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 4: That that's the kind of thing, And so that could

914
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,840
Speaker 4: be different heights. I don't know what the height is,

915
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 4: but like or you know, some things like for I say,

916
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 4: from my perspective, it was like when I hold your hand,

917
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,359
Speaker 4: you know, how does it feel when I hold your hand?

918
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:37,919
Speaker 2: How does it feel when we do certain things?

919
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 4: And so when all that came together, that's.

920
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:47,240
Speaker 2: I think a lot of women think men are more superficial.

921
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,320
Speaker 7: Than y'all short girls, short girls.

922
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:53,759
Speaker 3: But then also they tall, they will they're not They're

923
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 3: not that specific.

924
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 2: They're open.

925
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 3: They may have a preference and say I prefer this.

926
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 2: But I also take this, and women be like this, Yeah,

927
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 2: we be like we like this. I'm telling you, I've

928
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 2: been a man my whole life.

929
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, but when I'm talking about the men were talking

930
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 3: about you were an and meaning that they would date

931
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 3: you if you look, they'll also date another girl that's taller.

932
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:21,879
Speaker 8: You think women women are like because do I think

933
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 8: that women may have a type or they may have preferences,

934
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 8: but because the way that we're wired emotionally, right, I

935
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 8: think actually men are created to be more like If

936
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:38,320
Speaker 8: they're not attracted to you in the beginning, it probably

937
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,240
Speaker 8: is going to be that. But because of oxytocin in women,

938
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 8: I find that we can fall for more than just

939
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 8: the physical if.

940
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 2: You allow it.

941
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, because y'fore Yeah, but I just let the man

942
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 3: talk to you, like attracted to Every time I've had

943
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 3: people on the podcast with women, they said that he

944
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,839
Speaker 3: was initially not my preference, and I decide to date

945
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 3: outside of what I used to go for all the time,

946
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 3: and then that's where they found their husband. Every single

947
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 3: time I talked to some about it, they'd be like, yeah,

948
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:15,919
Speaker 3: to typically I wouldn't have done this, and I said,

949
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 3: let me go ahead. I got tired of dating these

950
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 3: type of guys they ain't worked out. So I gave

951
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,359
Speaker 3: this guy a chance and experienced the greatest love they've

952
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 3: ever experienced.

953
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:25,960
Speaker 2: But they had to get away from this list that

954
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 2: they've had.

955
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 3: Uh. They had to get away from whatever they told

956
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:33,439
Speaker 3: themselves through all the books that they've read, through all

957
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 3: the podcast whatever they've listened to in their life that

958
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 3: had formulated that mindset.

959
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 2: They had to undo somethings.

960
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 8: I can name a couple of your guy friends I

961
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 8: want right now that have made the same kind of

962
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 8: woman and gotten the same kind of married.

963
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 2: I keep saying Mary married. They didn't work dating. I

964
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:53,720
Speaker 2: don't know nobody.

965
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 1: Else, I'm going to have their men have their lists.

966
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I had yeah, so I'll say for for me,

967
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 4: like because at the time, like I said, it wasn't

968
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,880
Speaker 4: look I wasn't looking for a list. It was about qualities.

969
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 4: It was about always so like.

970
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 1: To say that at that time. But I'm sure what

971
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: he was when you were in your marriage.

972
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:25,879
Speaker 4: About exactly, Okay, I told Okay, we had a lot

973
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 4: of I had a lot of choices, A lot of choices,

974
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 4: a lot of short, tall, I had lots of different races,

975
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 4: Like I didn't all that didn't matter, you know, it

976
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:38,720
Speaker 4: was because I exactly I'm not doing that. It was okay,

977
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 4: but but but it wasn't that. It was the moments

978
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,640
Speaker 4: that I had with with that person, right and if like,

979
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,440
Speaker 4: would you like I said that that first kiss, like

980
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 4: I ain't had I didn't know, it ain't no light,

981
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,720
Speaker 4: but that nothing happened to me like that with anybody

982
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,239
Speaker 4: else but you. So when that happened, that's when I

983
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 4: was like, Okay, this is different. I'm in trouble, you

984
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying.

985
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 3: Like, think about he said the first date, you ain't

986
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 3: even gave him none yet, and he thought that a

987
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:04,560
Speaker 3: kiss that.

988
00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 2: Is so innocent a kids.

989
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 3: So that's why I want women to hear that so much,

990
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 3: because men want moments, they want that peace, they want

991
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:14,360
Speaker 3: to feel that safety.

992
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:17,280
Speaker 2: The first word he said in his mind that came family,

993
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:19,919
Speaker 2: not baby Mama. Didn't.

994
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 3: He didn't get in his mind and be like, oh ya,

995
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 3: I'm gonna hit that. That's gonna be great, that's all.

996
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 3: The first thing I thought is that he said family.

997
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 3: Where that word come from?

998
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:28,160
Speaker 2: Is this my kim folk. I need to kind of

999
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,319
Speaker 2: figure out what this is. I don't want to get,

1000
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:32,480
Speaker 2: you know, caught up with one of my cousins or something.

1001
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,760
Speaker 3: So he started feeling this sense of safety and family

1002
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 3: is a word that's supposed to bring safety to you,

1003
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 3: and most men always say they want peace. It's like

1004
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 3: you'll see a one and you've seen it. You may

1005
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:47,359
Speaker 3: see somebody walking around with a woman and he'd be like,

1006
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 3: how she get him? You're like, she must got some money,

1007
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,080
Speaker 3: you know, she must got this. And then if you

1008
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 3: ever talked to him, be like, no, this woman, I've

1009
00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 3: never felt more peaceful, I've never felt more seen.

1010
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 2: And you'd be like, oh, and.

1011
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:00,359
Speaker 4: To add on to what you're saying, like when we

1012
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 4: were dating, just hearing from her family talk about how

1013
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,520
Speaker 4: a great woman she was. They weren't saying, oh man,

1014
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 4: you got a bad one.

1015
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 2: She fine.

1016
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 4: We already knew that. Everybody knew that. It was about

1017
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 4: her character. It was like who she was, you know,

1018
00:49:12,640 --> 00:49:14,880
Speaker 4: her work, ethic, like all these different things. These are

1019
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 4: the things I'm looking for because you know, I'm thinking,

1020
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,720
Speaker 4: you know, I want to build an empire with somebody.

1021
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 4: You know, if I'm gonna do it, if I'm gonna

1022
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 4: stop being a bachelor and I'm gonna stop doing this,

1023
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 4: I'm gonna build with someone. And so all the things

1024
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 4: that they told me about her, you know, how smart

1025
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 4: she was, all the different stuff. I was like, yeah,

1026
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 4: this is it. Like, because you know, you said, you

1027
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 4: know you want someone you looked at me like someone

1028
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 4: that would be you know, compatible in terms of you know,

1029
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,560
Speaker 4: raising your children. Yeah, the same thing I'm thinking, like

1030
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 4: this is almost spend the rest of my life with.

1031
00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:43,359
Speaker 4: You know, she I and Johnson can laugh together like

1032
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 4: that was the thing to our marvel, that we would

1033
00:49:44,960 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 4: spend all day together and wouldn't get tired of each other.

1034
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:54,360
Speaker 2: No, she was just talking about that. Yeah, we just

1035
00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:55,879
Speaker 2: sit up there and do that. We'd be sitting at.

1036
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 3: The half the house of watching Now she got me

1037
00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 3: watching suits.

1038
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:58,879
Speaker 2: I'm late to the game.

1039
00:49:59,360 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 3: I think.

1040
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:02,360
Speaker 1: Keep We don't talk about that enough, like more married

1041
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: couples don't talk about how you can just well, you

1042
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 1: really know it's the one for you, you can still

1043
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:09,919
Speaker 1: the whole day with us.

1044
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 7: I always just say we're on the same wavelength. You're hungry,

1045
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 7: I'm hungry. You want to go do this. I want

1046
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:17,879
Speaker 7: to go do this. You want to watch this. We're

1047
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 7: gonna go work. We're gonna work like we just laptops.

1048
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 2: Watching TV.

1049
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 4: COVID was one of the best things for us, and

1050
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 4: I thought it was one of the best tests of

1051
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 4: our marriage because we saw a lot of people that

1052
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 4: but when we got together like that, we got to

1053
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 4: hang out with each other all day, all the time.

1054
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,600
Speaker 4: Oh man, it was like, you know, that's how we

1055
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 4: gain all this stuff. We was chilling and we really

1056
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 4: enjoyed that. And I think that we fell more in

1057
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 4: love because we're like, man, we really understand each other

1058
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 4: and we're and the thing is, we're completely different people,

1059
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 4: you know, we are not We don't think about things

1060
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 4: the same way, like but but we have such a

1061
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 4: deep love and respect for each other that, you know,

1062
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:58,839
Speaker 4: like it doesn't matter what happens, like you know, that's

1063
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 4: this is my person, you know.

1064
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, And for clarity, I will say, women, I believe

1065
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 8: we have more on our checklist by far. It is

1066
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 8: way Even studies show that it's harder for a woman

1067
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 8: to say yes to a second date. Usually if a

1068
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 8: man just has like a fine time with you, he

1069
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 8: enjoyed the conversation.

1070
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 7: He'll be like yes.

1071
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,280
Speaker 8: Women will be like, I can't see it. He doesn't

1072
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 8: meet the you know, so we have far more. But

1073
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 8: all I'm saying is I don't think that men are

1074
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:29,840
Speaker 8: without criteria without yeah, so I'm just if.

1075
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 7: We're waiting the scale for sure.

1076
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 8: Women, I think we have we have more on our lists,

1077
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:36,920
Speaker 8: but men are not without lists.

1078
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, we have a list, but we have a list.

1079
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 3: But it's ambiguous. It's like, she gotta look good. What

1080
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 3: does that mean? At least look good to him. It's

1081
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 3: not that she has to be a specific height, it

1082
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 3: has to be this, she has to be it's not

1083
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 3: specific men. Are you other think men aren't more specific?

1084
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,440
Speaker 3: Like that we're just more ambiguous? Why women be like,

1085
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 3: what do you want? Does he really want? He literally says,

1086
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,400
Speaker 3: I just want to woman I can I'm attracted to

1087
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:04,719
Speaker 3: that I can sleep with and be turned on by.

1088
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 2: And you be like, what is that?

1089
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll tell you one other thing too, when we

1090
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,320
Speaker 4: were when we were dating, I'm.

1091
00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 3: Talking about marriage, not somebody. He just you just smashing dashing. Exact,

1092
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,280
Speaker 3: you're gonna go for the high level just to smash

1093
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 3: and dash, But they don't mean nothing.

1094
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 2: Marriage.

1095
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, it gets a little bit more looser as far

1096
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 3: as the.

1097
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 2: What you call the preferences.

1098
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 3: It's just gonna go back into I want somebody to

1099
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 3: be a good mother to my kids, somebody that that

1100
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 3: that is peace. That's why all social media away talking

1101
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 3: about pe piece piece piece piece.

1102
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,360
Speaker 8: But I also hear men say like if this is

1103
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,960
Speaker 8: gonna be the one woman that I have forever, like

1104
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 8: the yeah.

1105
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 2: What does that mean?

1106
00:52:43,360 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 8: But sometimes yeah, I think also it depends on appetite

1107
00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 8: what they've been exposed to. I think some men are

1108
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,759
Speaker 8: really not trying to set themselves up for failure, and

1109
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:54,800
Speaker 8: so they do put a little emphasis on making sure

1110
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 8: that like this is some of those things that I

1111
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:00,279
Speaker 8: know that I quote unquote fall for I want to

1112
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,399
Speaker 8: make sure I'm getting so that I don't fall out

1113
00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 8: of this in LUSS.

1114
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 3: So this is what happens a lot, and this is

1115
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 3: the truth, and women get mad about it. They go,

1116
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 3: he married this type, but he keeps liking this on

1117
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 3: social media.

1118
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 2: He keeps it seems like he likes this type.

1119
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 3: And the bottom line is that he married what he

1120
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 3: married because that was safety. Yes, he has to get

1121
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 3: healed from some of those toxic attractions that he may have,

1122
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 3: but what he chose that he could spend life with

1123
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:33,560
Speaker 3: may sometimes not being congruent with what you see as

1124
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 3: the stuff he's liking on social media. So you see

1125
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,440
Speaker 3: that a lot and you be like, why is he

1126
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 3: liking this? Why are you? Because they be in arguments

1127
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,680
Speaker 3: with each other. I've had people in the podcast say well,

1128
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 3: why are you liking this?

1129
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 2: And he's like, I mean, yeah, she looked good, but

1130
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,839
Speaker 2: I married you. And then they get mad and be like,

1131
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 2: but why you like that.

1132
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 3: He's like, I still got os, but I married you.

1133
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:56,359
Speaker 3: And that's what I believe. The tension is when I

1134
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 3: say this to women, they may not understand there's a

1135
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 3: different category that men put wives in and women that

1136
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 3: he put that he just smashed in and that is

1137
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 3: two distinct categories, and women confused themselves to be like,

1138
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,719
Speaker 3: but he married this, and be like, yeah, he spent

1139
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 3: his life with that. He gave that to his name.

1140
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 3: The other stuff he never married, you know what I'm saying.

1141
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,080
Speaker 3: And so it's like, just look, it's just proof is

1142
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:19,799
Speaker 3: in the pudding on there.

1143
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 4: So one of the things as I was deciding, you know,

1144
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 4: it is just something I'm gonna do, and I was,

1145
00:54:25,719 --> 00:54:28,800
Speaker 4: I was, I was torn because, you know, having fulfilled

1146
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 4: marriage before, just feeling like maybe this wasn't meant for me,

1147
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:35,480
Speaker 4: but then meeting her and then kind of being in

1148
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 4: this whirlwind of like, oh man, this, this is this,

1149
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:40,759
Speaker 4: this is gonna happen probably, But should I do this?

1150
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:44,160
Speaker 4: I remember talking to, you know, one of the mentors

1151
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,799
Speaker 4: that I had at the time. I asked him older

1152
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,839
Speaker 4: gentlemen who had been married for a long time. I

1153
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 4: asked him, you know, like what should I do? And

1154
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 4: so he said, I'm gonna give you this piece of advice.

1155
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 4: He said, if you ever find a woman that's too

1156
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 4: good to be true, marrier. And so as I started

1157
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 4: to think about it, and I thought about John Cy,

1158
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:08,800
Speaker 4: and I thought about you know, of course she's beautiful,

1159
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 4: she's amazing, so that that check. But then I thought

1160
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:14,399
Speaker 4: of all these other things, you know, these intangibles, all

1161
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 4: these other things about her, and then the family word

1162
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 4: and all that, and then the people talk and it's

1163
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:22,080
Speaker 4: just so much going on. That was like, this is

1164
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,919
Speaker 4: too good. We were hanging out, were chilling. She ain't

1165
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 4: She's not like you know, she's not you know.

1166
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 2: Like high maintenance. She don't. You know, she didn't.

1167
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 4: Care if I whinding dined her or if we didn't

1168
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:32,879
Speaker 4: matter what we did.

1169
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 2: As long as we were together. She was having a

1170
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:35,359
Speaker 2: good time.

1171
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:37,960
Speaker 4: And it was it wasn't like, you know, its just

1172
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 4: I was just like, this is so amazing, Like how

1173
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:42,839
Speaker 4: is this even happening? Like and I found you and

1174
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:44,960
Speaker 4: we met this way, and so it said to me,

1175
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 4: this is too good to be true. And once I

1176
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:50,360
Speaker 4: realized that it wasn't, it wasn't. Shortly it was shortly

1177
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 4: after that put a ring on her. I proposed to

1178
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 4: her like right after, cause I was like, I need

1179
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 4: to make sure that this stays in my life. And

1180
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:58,080
Speaker 4: that was it for me.

1181
00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 2: I need to make sure this stays in my life.

1182
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,279
Speaker 3: When I said, you said that, look at she look

1183
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 3: at she melted over.

1184
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 2: You get you doing that father's dance? Coming in? She

1185
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:18,399
Speaker 2: just stared at him.

1186
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:21,040
Speaker 3: But that's the truth, and that's what I want men

1187
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 3: to understand, is that that moment, you don't want to

1188
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 3: ever let it go. When I made that phone conversation,

1189
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,200
Speaker 3: I made that phone called the Ashley that last week

1190
00:56:30,239 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 3: of February of last year, I told her, I said,

1191
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,839
Speaker 3: it's got to be more like I told her straight up,

1192
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 3: I said, you gonna have to get rid of me

1193
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 3: because I'm finna put a full court press on you

1194
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 3: like you gonna have I done experience what I experienced

1195
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:44,840
Speaker 3: when I and it was just a dream that I

1196
00:56:44,880 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 3: was like, I could see my life with her. I said,

1197
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 3: but we just friends. I don't even we ain't even

1198
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:53,360
Speaker 3: we haven't even went on a date. At that point,

1199
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:56,240
Speaker 3: I said, I am going to do a full court

1200
00:56:56,280 --> 00:56:58,640
Speaker 3: press on you and we finished just figure out what

1201
00:56:58,719 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 3: this is.

1202
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 2: But it is that moment of saying that I see.

1203
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 3: A person that can be in my life forever and

1204
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 3: I want to see what that's like. And I didn't

1205
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:10,919
Speaker 3: want to sabotage it. I didn't want to. I didn't

1206
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:12,960
Speaker 3: want to man, explain it. I said, Wow, you don't

1207
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,320
Speaker 3: really know it. She live over here, she in California.

1208
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:16,919
Speaker 3: You there, how you're gonna make that work? She ain't

1209
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 3: never All the stuff you can build up in your mind,

1210
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 3: you can build up monuments in your mind to make

1211
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 3: you believe it can't happen, or you can say not

1212
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 3: my will, let I will be done. Guy, I'm gonna

1213
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 3: go and whatever obstacle presents itself, we're gonna jump right

1214
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 3: on over it.

1215
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 2: We're gonna just keep jumping over it.

1216
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 3: And that's what But that's the part that a lot

1217
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 3: of men and I just want to encourage men to

1218
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 3: take the challenge of your masculinity and your manhood is

1219
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 3: to make a decision. Ashley's favorite definition of the word

1220
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 3: the decision.

1221
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:49,760
Speaker 2: What is it to decide is what.

1222
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 7: To cut off all other options?

1223
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 2: Yes, cut off all other options.

1224
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 3: That's what the side is and what a lot of

1225
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 3: men do, which shoot me and my boy was in

1226
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 3: the same situations, like you don't have to decide. You

1227
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 3: can just date multiple women for as long as that

1228
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 3: lasts and then and there's always gonna be a new woman.

1229
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 3: Or you can sit there and say no, I'm gonna

1230
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,600
Speaker 3: cut off all options and I'm gonna marry this one.

1231
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:15,560
Speaker 3: And that's the part that men aren't honest. We had

1232
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 3: the couple that's on this week's episode, The Davis Is.

1233
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:22,880
Speaker 3: She said, Monica said that she was dating this guy

1234
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 3: in Houston, and the guy said she started talking to

1235
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,800
Speaker 3: him about being exclusive, and he said, why would I

1236
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 3: be exclusive with one woman when I live in Houston?

1237
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 3: He said, there's too many women here. Why would I

1238
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 3: do that? He just said it straight up. She's like, well,

1239
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:38,120
Speaker 3: I gotta respect his honesty. He said, why be with

1240
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,680
Speaker 3: one woman? And that's unfortunately what a lot of men

1241
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 3: believe because they don't understand the challenge of being with

1242
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 3: one woman. You're gonna have to go through life with

1243
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 3: that person and vice versa. There are decisions that's going

1244
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:54,440
Speaker 3: to be made that it takes y'all collectively to come.

1245
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 2: To those decisions. But it's easy to be like, oh,

1246
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: that's too hard, Let me just go find somebody else.

1247
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 2: Let me date this person, date this person.

1248
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 3: So when you do life with somebody, those are some

1249
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:05,760
Speaker 3: real decisions. How did you make the decision from going

1250
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 3: from New York and then y'all went, did y'all not

1251
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 3: moving back to California.

1252
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:10,439
Speaker 2: Yep, we back.

1253
00:59:10,680 --> 00:59:14,040
Speaker 4: It was the co parenting opportunity that was there, so

1254
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 4: to be with my daughters more often. And you know,

1255
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 4: John cy was was was game for that.

1256
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 2: Were y'all married at that time.

1257
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:23,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, we had just got married and she was pregnant.

1258
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 4: So we drove across the country.

1259
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 1: No j was three months old.

1260
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:30,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, we just had him, and so we.

1261
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 2: All drove all away from New York to California.

1262
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 1: He sure did. He was superman during that drive too,

1263
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:38,920
Speaker 1: because that desert three days.

1264
00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 4: Yep, but we did it. We did it like, you know,

1265
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 4: twelve hours.

1266
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:46,680
Speaker 1: And then we did it when we moved back to

1267
00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 1: when we went to.

1268
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 2: Twelve hours at a time.

1269
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 4: That's what it is, you know, the twelve hours you stop,

1270
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 4: you rest somewhere and doing nothing. Twelve That's how I

1271
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:55,680
Speaker 4: looked at it, you know, like I was going to work.

1272
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 1: He's like very task oriented, like plan he's the planner.

1273
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,680
Speaker 1: That's I love them too.

1274
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:04,840
Speaker 7: Nature you were a good tea.

1275
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:08,600
Speaker 2: So y'all moved all the way there, and how long

1276
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:09,320
Speaker 2: do y'all stay there?

1277
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 1: So we agree that when because I didn't like Sacramento,

1278
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 1: it's lovely, it's a lovely place. But being from Harlem.

1279
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 8: Place and I'm from the state, I'm from the great

1280
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 8: state of California, so I overstand.

1281
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:31,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and people don't understand too. California is a big state.

1282
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 1: I was born in l A, but raised in New York.

1283
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 1: We left when I was like six or seven.

1284
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,920
Speaker 7: Were born what city in l A, l A l A,

1285
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:43,080
Speaker 7: l A, l A not not Yeah, No, in l A.

1286
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 1: I was born at u C. L A Hospital. But

1287
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,040
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't understand that living in so

1288
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,560
Speaker 1: cal is very different from North cal And when you're

1289
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:58,120
Speaker 1: from Harlem and you're used to being around I was

1290
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:01,120
Speaker 1: raised around black activists. My mom was an editor at

1291
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: you know, a black newspaper in Brooklyn, So I'm just

1292
01:01:04,840 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 1: used to being immersed in blackness.

1293
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 8: This explains the Oakland activists connection.

1294
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, we got a lot of those connections because actually

1295
01:01:12,720 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 4: I was I was raised in all parts of California.

1296
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:16,680
Speaker 4: I used to live in l A too. I was

1297
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:18,880
Speaker 4: in the Crenshaw area. I went to fifty nine Street

1298
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 4: Elementary School.

1299
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 2: People that know know in terms of what that was.

1300
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 4: But you know, uh, and I've lived all these tarp places.

1301
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:30,760
Speaker 4: I was doing activism and getting into that. So that's

1302
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 4: when I was doing the website. The website was actually

1303
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 4: about like, uh like it. It's called Social Intellects, and

1304
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:41,120
Speaker 4: it was about like activism and you know, basically uplifting

1305
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,520
Speaker 4: those intellectuals that are out there that are you know,

1306
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,880
Speaker 4: really really championing like you know, social justice causes. And

1307
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 4: that's what it was about. And so we talked about that.

1308
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:50,680
Speaker 4: She was like, oh yeah, all right, about stuff like

1309
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,800
Speaker 4: that and you know, edit stuff and so yeah, we

1310
01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:53,480
Speaker 4: had that connection.

1311
01:01:54,600 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 2: That's dope, that's a lot of interest. So then y'all stayed.

1312
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we were in Sacramento and we agreed that.

1313
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:09,120
Speaker 1: I was like, look, Charles, there's just not enough blackness.

1314
01:02:11,240 --> 01:02:13,439
Speaker 1: So what are we going to do about that? So

1315
01:02:13,560 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 1: we said, okay, when the youngest girl, his youngest daughter

1316
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 1: turns eighteen, then we'll move someplace else. So it was

1317
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:27,080
Speaker 1: between Houston or back to Harlem, or Atlanta. So we

1318
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 1: landed on in Atlanta.

1319
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and y'all been living in Atlanta how long?

1320
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 1: For three years?

1321
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 3: Now?

1322
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 2: Yea?

1323
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:33,760
Speaker 7: How do you like it?

1324
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:36,760
Speaker 1: Oh? We love it because there's a lot of blackness.

1325
01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 1: It's so funny.

1326
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:43,439
Speaker 8: One of my cousins said, I like Atlanta because it's

1327
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 8: like living in Wakanda.

1328
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 1: It really is. It really is. When we first moved there,

1329
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 1: our youngest son, Malcolm, was like, we were in a

1330
01:02:52,760 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 1: Kroger in the grocery store and he looked around. He

1331
01:02:56,080 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 1: was like, Mommy, are these our cousins? Because we had

1332
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:04,480
Speaker 1: never seen that many black people before because at his school,

1333
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:08,320
Speaker 1: he was the only class.

1334
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:19,960
Speaker 3: You know, was that c J.

1335
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:27,040
Speaker 1: That's that was Yeah, that sounds like, all right, we're

1336
01:03:27,040 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 1: in the right place.

1337
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 3: It's hilarious and so y'all, so when did you stop

1338
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:37,440
Speaker 3: teaching in Atlanta?

1339
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 4: No, I stopped teaching, uh in New York. So I

1340
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:43,960
Speaker 4: got promoted from a teacher to a dean. You know

1341
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 4: that happens a lot, actually knows that, Like, you know,

1342
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:50,240
Speaker 4: when you're a really good teacher, they promote you to leadership.

1343
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:53,720
Speaker 4: So I became a dean and then became a principal.

1344
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 4: And really what that was about just impact, Like you know,

1345
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,479
Speaker 4: I was able to impact you know, the thirty kids

1346
01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 4: in front of me. I wanted to figure out a

1347
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,200
Speaker 4: way to impact the school in the community. And so

1348
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:04,080
Speaker 4: that's why I became principal.

1349
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:05,240
Speaker 1: Was award winning teacher.

1350
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:07,120
Speaker 4: Thank you, that's right.

1351
01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 1: Yes, he was the ward the highest mass scores in

1352
01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:12,480
Speaker 1: Miami's middle.

1353
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 4: It was the gains. Yeah, not not so so you know,

1354
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:19,120
Speaker 4: you know how it is so like the people who

1355
01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:21,920
Speaker 4: got the highest scores, those the sexy numbers, those were

1356
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 4: the people they were touting. I had the highest gains.

1357
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 4: So the kids that I had, they gave me all

1358
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 4: the kids that did not pass.

1359
01:04:27,640 --> 01:04:28,280
Speaker 2: The state tests.

1360
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 4: They would have the lowest scores, and so for for

1361
01:04:31,120 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 4: those kids, a lot of those kids end up passing,

1362
01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 4: but it wasn't like ninety percent of them didn't pass.

1363
01:04:36,760 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 4: It was like maybe seventy some percent, but they started

1364
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,400
Speaker 4: off at like zero percent. The other people who got

1365
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:44,120
Speaker 4: the notoriety, they had kids where eighty percent of them

1366
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:46,120
Speaker 4: had already passed, and then they knocked them up to

1367
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:48,520
Speaker 4: eighty five or ninety percent pass right, So that gain

1368
01:04:48,560 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 4: is only really ten percent.

1369
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:50,640
Speaker 2: Mine is a lot larger.

1370
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:51,560
Speaker 7: Had the greatest growth.

1371
01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1372
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, so even as a principal in Stockton, he really

1373
01:04:56,640 --> 01:05:00,400
Speaker 1: transformed those kids' lives because he had That's what reason

1374
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 1: why he left the principalship, because it was really stressful

1375
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,640
Speaker 1: for him because he wanted to do so much at

1376
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:09,480
Speaker 1: that school. He got the new uniforms. He was trying

1377
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:14,000
Speaker 1: to build a soccer film. He instituted e gaming.

1378
01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:16,640
Speaker 2: And just started.

1379
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 1: He was a principal. Yeah, so he left education when

1380
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:22,720
Speaker 1: we were in when we were in Stockton.

1381
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 8: But yeah, I just want to celebrate you because, like

1382
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 8: you said, I don't want to gloss over the fact

1383
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 8: there's not a lot of black men in education and

1384
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 8: a lot of I think the rhetoric around that is

1385
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 8: like why would a black man go teach? But that

1386
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:40,480
Speaker 8: is one of the most powerful physicians.

1387
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:41,320
Speaker 7: That a black man can be in.

1388
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:45,440
Speaker 8: So I just want to salute you because you know, I,

1389
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 8: as an all boys teacher, would say that I thought

1390
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:52,360
Speaker 8: I did well, but I certainly the few black men

1391
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 8: that we had that were at the school, I can

1392
01:05:54,720 --> 01:05:59,240
Speaker 8: honestly say that their physical presence at the school did

1393
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:02,360
Speaker 8: so much for those boys that I taught. It was

1394
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:05,280
Speaker 8: the difference between like we'd be like sitting star and

1395
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 8: they would sit like this for me, but when that

1396
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 8: black man walk in, they'd be like do you. And

1397
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 8: so our kids even just shine when they have the

1398
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:18,000
Speaker 8: presence of like a black man in that space. So

1399
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 8: I just want to salute you for that, and just

1400
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:25,000
Speaker 8: any man that's thinking about like should I do should

1401
01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:26,520
Speaker 8: I Should I be a part of education?

1402
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 7: Should I become an educator?

1403
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:28,360
Speaker 1: Like?

1404
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:31,400
Speaker 7: Yes, do it. It's a great job. It's a great career.

1405
01:06:31,800 --> 01:06:36,080
Speaker 8: And women, please, when you see men in education, celebrate them.

1406
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:39,360
Speaker 8: Don't tell them that you want them to be something

1407
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 8: else or that's not good enough for you, or that's

1408
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:43,520
Speaker 8: not a good career choice.

1409
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:44,840
Speaker 7: Because it's an excellent career.

1410
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:46,200
Speaker 2: You must need a career choice.

1411
01:06:46,280 --> 01:06:51,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely So Atlanta, y'all and Atlanta.

1412
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:53,880
Speaker 2: Now and y'all were how did.

1413
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 3: Panda Commission come to play and explain what Panda Commission is?

1414
01:06:59,200 --> 01:06:59,439
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1415
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:00,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.

1416
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:03,000
Speaker 4: So so when I was a principal and you know,

1417
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:06,080
Speaker 4: we were deciding that, you know, possibly I need to

1418
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:08,880
Speaker 4: look at something else. Because it was March twenty eighteen,

1419
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:11,440
Speaker 4: March twenty nineteen, I was in the er do distress.

1420
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,480
Speaker 4: So the second time that it happened, my wife she

1421
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,080
Speaker 4: you know, she's you know, when you got this hospital bed,

1422
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,360
Speaker 4: she's like, listen, we can't lose you to a job,

1423
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 4: like you know, you got to do something else. You

1424
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:24,880
Speaker 4: were stressed like that, stressed like that because you know

1425
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:27,040
Speaker 4: it's it's you got to understand, like you know, I

1426
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 4: was to stop right here, Jonesy what you just had

1427
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:30,760
Speaker 4: a flashback?

1428
01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:32,000
Speaker 2: What was that? Oh?

1429
01:07:32,040 --> 01:07:36,400
Speaker 1: That was all the stories of things that were happening

1430
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:39,640
Speaker 1: to him when he was a principal, of all the

1431
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:43,840
Speaker 1: resistance he was getting, of all the you know, it

1432
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: was just it was overwhelming.

1433
01:07:46,440 --> 01:07:49,080
Speaker 4: It was a lot. It was a lot. You know,

1434
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 4: you when you focus on the kids, and you know this,

1435
01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:54,840
Speaker 4: when you focus on the kids and you center them

1436
01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:58,640
Speaker 4: and their needs and make everything about them, there's some

1437
01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:01,400
Speaker 4: people who have, you know, objections to that. They want

1438
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:03,000
Speaker 4: you to keep the status quo. They want you to

1439
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:06,120
Speaker 4: kind of keep things where they are. These kids were brilliant.

1440
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:09,200
Speaker 4: These kids had so much that they could do, and

1441
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:12,160
Speaker 4: I wanted to expose them to more. I wanted them

1442
01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:15,560
Speaker 4: to you know, we had kids that would routinely at

1443
01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 4: the time only apply to state schools. Those kids were

1444
01:08:19,360 --> 01:08:21,840
Speaker 4: good enough to go to Stanford in Berkeley and Ivy

1445
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:25,120
Speaker 4: League schools, and so I made sure they did that.

1446
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:27,599
Speaker 4: But in order for me to make sure that path happened,

1447
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:32,080
Speaker 4: I had to to change things in structures and processes

1448
01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:34,840
Speaker 4: and connections and different things like you know, like I

1449
01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:37,680
Speaker 4: had connected with people to do like flying programs, you know,

1450
01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:40,040
Speaker 4: like for like Princeton and Penn and things like that.

1451
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,720
Speaker 4: You know that kind of stuff. Someone has to to

1452
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 4: see that and also make it happen. And so I

1453
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:47,640
Speaker 4: was doing a lot of things that were focused on

1454
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 4: the kids only, and not that I was disregarding the teachers,

1455
01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:53,439
Speaker 4: because I know that if you have a great teach

1456
01:08:53,479 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 4: the teachers are happy, you have happy kids, right, So

1457
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 4: I was also investing in them as well, but I

1458
01:08:58,280 --> 01:09:01,080
Speaker 4: think they weren't used to, and you know, is uncommon

1459
01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:04,880
Speaker 4: the expectations and how you go about like really pouring

1460
01:09:04,920 --> 01:09:06,679
Speaker 4: into people and even investing in them.

1461
01:09:07,000 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 2: If they're not.

1462
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 4: Ready for it, yeah, they could push back a lot,

1463
01:09:10,479 --> 01:09:11,920
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. Like even if you try

1464
01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:14,040
Speaker 4: to like try to bring family along and you know,

1465
01:09:14,040 --> 01:09:15,599
Speaker 4: you trying to help out your little brother or something

1466
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 4: like that, you like, hey man, this is how you

1467
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:19,920
Speaker 4: do X y Z, and they ain't ready, they gonna

1468
01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:20,600
Speaker 4: push back on you.

1469
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 8: Because it's more. It's more than just having a career.

1470
01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:25,320
Speaker 8: You really have to give your life to the work.

1471
01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:27,240
Speaker 8: So you have to think about yourself as kind of

1472
01:09:27,280 --> 01:09:30,519
Speaker 8: like an activist because this whole idea of like work

1473
01:09:30,560 --> 01:09:35,639
Speaker 8: life balance, like it doesn't yeah, I live for my kids,

1474
01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:39,760
Speaker 8: So I totally understand and have seen that. You know,

1475
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:47,759
Speaker 8: even just with education shifting that you know, prioritizing kids solely,

1476
01:09:47,920 --> 01:09:50,879
Speaker 8: there is like you know, some and not saying solely,

1477
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:54,760
Speaker 8: but just there can be some pushback because people are like,

1478
01:09:55,160 --> 01:09:57,680
Speaker 8: hold on, I don't know if COVID I think did

1479
01:09:57,720 --> 01:10:00,760
Speaker 8: some of this too. People are very in tune with

1480
01:10:00,920 --> 01:10:03,200
Speaker 8: like the balance of it all, and they want to

1481
01:10:03,280 --> 01:10:06,200
Speaker 8: leave by a certain time. And so when you're coming

1482
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:09,799
Speaker 8: with the spirit of like anything for yeah, yeah, anything

1483
01:10:09,840 --> 01:10:10,479
Speaker 8: for the kids.

1484
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:12,360
Speaker 4: I got it from Teach for America because you know,

1485
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:14,599
Speaker 4: it's like, you know, student centered, you know, like what's

1486
01:10:14,640 --> 01:10:16,880
Speaker 4: best for the student. Yes, if you if you shift

1487
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:20,400
Speaker 4: the perspective of whatever you're whatever you're doing in your classroom,

1488
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:23,040
Speaker 4: whatever it is, if you shift the perspective to what's

1489
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:25,360
Speaker 4: best for the student and not what's best for me

1490
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,439
Speaker 4: as the adult or what do I feel like doing

1491
01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 4: or what you know?

1492
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:28,599
Speaker 2: Am I like?

1493
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,479
Speaker 4: If you shift that, then you you there a lot

1494
01:10:30,479 --> 01:10:32,800
Speaker 4: of the whole world opens up in terms of what

1495
01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:35,839
Speaker 4: you know it should be possible and could be possible.

1496
01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:38,360
Speaker 4: And since I was the principal and I had the resources,

1497
01:10:38,600 --> 01:10:40,880
Speaker 4: we we actually were, you know, the school that had

1498
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:44,200
Speaker 4: the most money in the whole network, and but a

1499
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:46,280
Speaker 4: lot of people didn't know that, and we weren't using

1500
01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:48,880
Speaker 4: the resources I felt like in the best way to

1501
01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:51,400
Speaker 4: center the kids. And so when I started to do that,

1502
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:53,960
Speaker 4: I think people just weren't you know, weren't weren't used

1503
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:56,240
Speaker 4: to that. So it was stressful to have to keep

1504
01:10:56,560 --> 01:11:01,400
Speaker 4: advocating and keep explaining that, you know, especially because it's like, man,

1505
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:04,120
Speaker 4: I'm trying to I'm trying to do everything I can.

1506
01:11:04,160 --> 01:11:06,479
Speaker 4: Can't y'all see this, and so it was just really hard,

1507
01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:08,799
Speaker 4: and so you know, you get you get stressed.

1508
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:08,960
Speaker 2: Man.

1509
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:11,080
Speaker 4: I actually I didn't even know what it was until,

1510
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:14,120
Speaker 4: you know, I'm starting to have these like you know episodes,

1511
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:15,479
Speaker 4: you know, and I'm just like, I gotta go to

1512
01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:16,599
Speaker 4: the hospital, like I'm tripping.

1513
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:17,920
Speaker 2: You went to the hospital twice.

1514
01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:21,000
Speaker 4: Twice, Yeah, yeah, just like your heart was racing. Yeah,

1515
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,720
Speaker 4: I found out I had high blood pressures. That was

1516
01:11:22,720 --> 01:11:24,479
Speaker 4: the first time if you found out out was was

1517
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:27,400
Speaker 4: because of something like that. Because things were so stressful,

1518
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,080
Speaker 4: you know, I ended up like I think one time,

1519
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:30,479
Speaker 4: I felt like I had like a panic attacker. So

1520
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:32,400
Speaker 4: I don't know what it was like, you know, how

1521
01:11:32,439 --> 01:11:34,479
Speaker 4: to describe. Only it wasn't a heart attack to call.

1522
01:11:34,560 --> 01:11:38,200
Speaker 4: It was the call of mild or something. I don't

1523
01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:40,439
Speaker 4: know what it was, but anyway it was, it was

1524
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:44,519
Speaker 4: it was to the hospital, and I knew that, you know,

1525
01:11:44,720 --> 01:11:48,040
Speaker 4: I was highly stressed out, and so we needed to

1526
01:11:47,800 --> 01:11:51,599
Speaker 4: to pivot. And so our first pivot actually was John

1527
01:11:51,600 --> 01:11:53,120
Speaker 4: cy I taught our boys how to read at the

1528
01:11:53,120 --> 01:11:56,880
Speaker 4: age of two, both our boys, right exactly.

1529
01:11:57,040 --> 01:12:03,439
Speaker 7: Talking about I was like, what child, Yeah.

1530
01:12:03,400 --> 01:12:06,720
Speaker 2: God, my boy, you know, And I'm the teacher. I'm

1531
01:12:06,760 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 2: the educator.

1532
01:12:07,479 --> 01:12:10,040
Speaker 4: But she's at the house and she's teaching them, and

1533
01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:11,479
Speaker 4: I'm and I'm looking at this.

1534
01:12:11,439 --> 01:12:13,320
Speaker 2: And I'm like, these boys two years old over here

1535
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:14,000
Speaker 2: reading me books.

1536
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:17,040
Speaker 4: This is crazy. And so at the time when we transitioned,

1537
01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:20,800
Speaker 4: the first business was actually in home preschool because I

1538
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:22,479
Speaker 4: was like, well, you taught our boys how to read,

1539
01:12:22,960 --> 01:12:24,720
Speaker 4: and I know how to run a school, so why

1540
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:26,920
Speaker 4: don't we just combine these efforts and just help out

1541
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:30,519
Speaker 4: more kids. And so we opened up and you know, initially,

1542
01:12:30,560 --> 01:12:31,960
Speaker 4: I'll tell I'll say, and this is the story we

1543
01:12:31,960 --> 01:12:34,280
Speaker 4: always tell, but initially it was crickets. When we first

1544
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:36,719
Speaker 4: opened up. It was crickets because we were doing traditional marketing.

1545
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:41,160
Speaker 1: We were Walmart handed out, I got a pre school.

1546
01:12:44,600 --> 01:12:46,000
Speaker 1: I'll teach you how to read it all that.

1547
01:12:46,520 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 3: It was like.

1548
01:12:49,560 --> 01:12:51,360
Speaker 4: So I started, I said, I don't know if people

1549
01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:54,280
Speaker 4: search for childcare this way, like I think they just

1550
01:12:54,320 --> 01:12:54,839
Speaker 4: go online.

1551
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:56,240
Speaker 2: He probably go to Facebook or something.

1552
01:12:56,479 --> 01:12:58,160
Speaker 4: So at the time, actually, the whole time I was

1553
01:12:58,160 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 4: a principal, I was studying digital marketing on the side.

1554
01:13:00,160 --> 01:13:02,120
Speaker 4: I always been someone who knew how to build websites

1555
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:02,640
Speaker 4: and stuff like that.

1556
01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:04,599
Speaker 1: And I was rebranded his school too.

1557
01:13:05,240 --> 01:13:06,559
Speaker 2: That was one of the first things I did.

1558
01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:11,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody the parents.

1559
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:13,479
Speaker 4: Branded school, got them new gear, outfits all that, like

1560
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,639
Speaker 4: make sure everybody was flying because that's if.

1561
01:13:15,479 --> 01:13:18,360
Speaker 2: You know what Deon say. You know.

1562
01:13:20,120 --> 01:13:23,000
Speaker 4: They pay good, right, So I was like, I want

1563
01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:25,960
Speaker 4: everybody to feel like, you know, they look good. So anyway,

1564
01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:29,800
Speaker 4: so when it came to the preschool, I was like,

1565
01:13:29,840 --> 01:13:31,760
Speaker 4: you know, digital marketing is something that I've been doing

1566
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:33,920
Speaker 4: on the side, and so I looked at all the

1567
01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:35,960
Speaker 4: websites in the area, and I looked at how people

1568
01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:38,000
Speaker 4: were marketing, and I was like, I feel like I

1569
01:13:38,040 --> 01:13:40,680
Speaker 4: could do it better. And so I built a website,

1570
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,599
Speaker 4: and I did the marketing and I did like ads

1571
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,640
Speaker 4: and things like that, and we went from you know,

1572
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:48,160
Speaker 4: basically having nobody checking for us to having our daycare

1573
01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:50,519
Speaker 4: full within weeks and then we had like a forty

1574
01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:53,280
Speaker 4: parent like waitless, you know, and then we started helping

1575
01:13:53,280 --> 01:13:55,240
Speaker 4: and we were having so many people were referring people

1576
01:13:55,400 --> 01:13:57,559
Speaker 4: to other daycares, you know, to help fill them out

1577
01:13:57,600 --> 01:14:00,519
Speaker 4: because the needs were there, but people just didn't trusted

1578
01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:03,720
Speaker 4: and they didn't they didn't they didn't have something. I'll say,

1579
01:14:03,760 --> 01:14:05,960
Speaker 4: it's a brand that they could trust, right, and so

1580
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 4: they saw the website, they saw the brand, and they

1581
01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:10,439
Speaker 4: saw the marketing. And then the thing is, I knew

1582
01:14:10,840 --> 01:14:12,080
Speaker 4: it if they were come in the house and they

1583
01:14:12,080 --> 01:14:14,800
Speaker 4: saw Johnsy and we had you know, some fresh baked

1584
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:16,880
Speaker 4: cookies in the back, and we had it laid out

1585
01:14:16,920 --> 01:14:18,400
Speaker 4: the way it's supposed to because we had a two

1586
01:14:18,439 --> 01:14:20,719
Speaker 4: story and our bottom floor was a total daycare.

1587
01:14:21,080 --> 01:14:22,519
Speaker 2: So I made it look like a school.

1588
01:14:22,520 --> 01:14:25,679
Speaker 4: We had different sections, differentiating instruction, we had different things.

1589
01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:28,200
Speaker 4: Our backyard was decked out. So I knew if they

1590
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:30,759
Speaker 4: could just come and see what we had, they would,

1591
01:14:30,760 --> 01:14:33,360
Speaker 4: you know, sign up. And sure enough, man, people start

1592
01:14:33,400 --> 01:14:34,280
Speaker 4: coming and.

1593
01:14:34,200 --> 01:14:34,800
Speaker 2: They walk in.

1594
01:14:34,880 --> 01:14:36,920
Speaker 4: They was like, oh my god, you got Johnsy there

1595
01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:39,040
Speaker 4: smiling at them and tell them how you know, She's

1596
01:14:39,040 --> 01:14:41,280
Speaker 4: gonna love on they child and you know, and provide education.

1597
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:43,960
Speaker 4: And then our boys are there and they're three years

1598
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:46,439
Speaker 4: old and reading. They was like, oh yeah. So we

1599
01:14:46,560 --> 01:14:47,960
Speaker 4: had people signing up left.

1600
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:52,719
Speaker 1: And right, and then COVID happened and shut us down.

1601
01:14:53,479 --> 01:14:55,479
Speaker 4: That's what shut us down. And actually I was at

1602
01:14:55,479 --> 01:14:57,920
Speaker 4: the time, so we when we got shut down, we

1603
01:14:57,960 --> 01:14:58,680
Speaker 4: actually had a good time.

1604
01:14:58,720 --> 01:15:01,040
Speaker 2: The first two weeks we got back to us.

1605
01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:03,600
Speaker 4: It was just me and my wife and we was

1606
01:15:03,680 --> 01:15:06,760
Speaker 4: chilling and you know, but I realized. I was like, man, hey, babe,

1607
01:15:06,760 --> 01:15:08,680
Speaker 4: we ain't got paid. And she was like, what you

1608
01:15:08,760 --> 01:15:10,760
Speaker 4: gonna do about that? And I was like, man, it's

1609
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:11,559
Speaker 4: been two three weeks.

1610
01:15:11,560 --> 01:15:12,800
Speaker 2: She's like, ye, what you're gonna do about it?

1611
01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:15,880
Speaker 4: Like man, So I went upstairs and I was on

1612
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:17,960
Speaker 4: my laptop and I was I was praying, asking God

1613
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:19,880
Speaker 4: what should I do? And actually at the time, I

1614
01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:21,840
Speaker 4: was redesigning a friend's website because I didn't like the

1615
01:15:21,840 --> 01:15:24,200
Speaker 4: way it looks. I was just bored, and God spoke

1616
01:15:24,240 --> 01:15:26,479
Speaker 4: to me, said, you're doing it now. You know, he said,

1617
01:15:26,520 --> 01:15:27,840
Speaker 4: this is what you do. And so I went and

1618
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:31,559
Speaker 4: made a Facebook post and and put out that, Hey,

1619
01:15:31,880 --> 01:15:34,160
Speaker 4: I'm building sites, I'm building funnels. I'm just you know,

1620
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:37,360
Speaker 4: and next thing, I know you our first month.

1621
01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:38,080
Speaker 2: We did five figures.

1622
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:43,080
Speaker 4: Shortly after that we ended up being subcontract to do

1623
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:45,759
Speaker 4: some websites for funnels for Eric Thomas, the Hip hop Preacher.

1624
01:15:46,439 --> 01:15:49,160
Speaker 4: And then once that's once people started knowing that we

1625
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:51,760
Speaker 4: were behind that, you know, that was the start of.

1626
01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:57,679
Speaker 3: Paying yep PANDIC commission. And I've had my experience working

1627
01:15:57,680 --> 01:15:58,160
Speaker 3: with y'all.

1628
01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:01,679
Speaker 2: Charles is really quick at what he does.

1629
01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:07,480
Speaker 3: And shout out to Candace for the introduction to my publicist,

1630
01:16:07,479 --> 01:16:10,080
Speaker 3: Candace lab Better, and she was like, Terrris.

1631
01:16:10,280 --> 01:16:11,840
Speaker 2: She kept telling me over and over again, you need

1632
01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:13,080
Speaker 2: to get your website. Get website.

1633
01:16:13,080 --> 01:16:14,920
Speaker 3: I said, Man, people don't worry about website no more

1634
01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:16,400
Speaker 3: I care about Instagram.

1635
01:16:16,479 --> 01:16:18,680
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna do that, Terrs. Need a website, need

1636
01:16:18,680 --> 01:16:19,240
Speaker 2: a website.

1637
01:16:19,560 --> 01:16:22,439
Speaker 3: And so she introduced me to y'all and I'm very

1638
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:24,719
Speaker 3: when I said, I'm so particularly like, if we're gonna

1639
01:16:24,760 --> 01:16:26,280
Speaker 3: do it, it gotta be right. That's just how I

1640
01:16:26,280 --> 01:16:28,320
Speaker 3: look at stuff. And I'd be like, man, Canda Is

1641
01:16:28,320 --> 01:16:30,360
Speaker 3: don't want these people, and they whack and they stuff

1642
01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:32,800
Speaker 3: be lame. I could have been on. That's what I

1643
01:16:32,840 --> 01:16:34,479
Speaker 3: told her, I said, So I started off. I said,

1644
01:16:34,479 --> 01:16:36,240
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it on my own. Forgive you said,

1645
01:16:36,240 --> 01:16:37,800
Speaker 3: I need the website off in the building. So I

1646
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:40,840
Speaker 3: built my website, and then she introduced me to y'all.

1647
01:16:40,840 --> 01:16:43,720
Speaker 3: I said, look, Charles, up what I did. He' like,

1648
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:47,400
Speaker 3: that's nice. I see where you were going, what you

1649
01:16:47,400 --> 01:16:50,519
Speaker 3: were trying to you. I said, hold on, I thought

1650
01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:52,680
Speaker 3: this was good. I'm gonna take what you do and

1651
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:54,240
Speaker 3: expand I said, all right, we're gonna see what you're

1652
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:56,040
Speaker 3: gonna do. Man, you sent me that thing. I said,

1653
01:16:56,600 --> 01:17:01,200
Speaker 3: that's what I'm talking about. I looked amazed. Matter of fact,

1654
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:03,320
Speaker 3: I'm gonna drop a video right here so y'all can

1655
01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:06,719
Speaker 3: see the process of our first call that we had

1656
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:10,559
Speaker 3: and how he took my idea and expounded on my

1657
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:14,439
Speaker 3: imagination and created the website for Student of Love.

1658
01:17:16,360 --> 01:17:19,200
Speaker 5: So the Terris, I know that you have been in

1659
01:17:19,240 --> 01:17:21,200
Speaker 5: your production studio all.

1660
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:23,559
Speaker 1: Night, but we got to get this website up.

1661
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:26,120
Speaker 5: So I'm went ahead and I called my people, Carls

1662
01:17:26,160 --> 01:17:28,920
Speaker 5: and John Z Charles and john Z. Thank you, thank you,

1663
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,759
Speaker 5: thank you for hopping on this call with me tonight.

1664
01:17:33,439 --> 01:17:37,719
Speaker 1: The situation is we are about to launch his new book.

1665
01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,760
Speaker 3: I spent the night in my studio last night. I

1666
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:44,120
Speaker 3: came here at noon yesterday. I made Cannibs a promise

1667
01:17:44,160 --> 01:17:47,160
Speaker 3: that I will not leave my studio until this website

1668
01:17:47,200 --> 01:17:47,559
Speaker 3: is done.

1669
01:17:47,720 --> 01:17:50,840
Speaker 2: On call list the white flag, all.

1670
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:54,599
Speaker 3: Right, I'm waving, I'm tapping out. And so she sent

1671
01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:57,439
Speaker 3: me a link to your page, to your website. And

1672
01:17:57,520 --> 01:18:00,320
Speaker 3: y'all the truth, y'all, y'all, y'all the best, And so

1673
01:18:00,840 --> 01:18:04,560
Speaker 3: I bow down. O here, do what y'all do. I

1674
01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:07,040
Speaker 3: don't even want to show y'all what I built. Already,

1675
01:18:07,280 --> 01:18:09,880
Speaker 3: y'all are the experts in this. Hey, I'm gonna stay

1676
01:18:09,880 --> 01:18:11,680
Speaker 3: a student of love. I'm gonna let y'all do what

1677
01:18:11,760 --> 01:18:14,720
Speaker 3: y'all do. Let me go home, all right? That is

1678
01:18:14,720 --> 01:18:17,639
Speaker 3: that a deal that works? And we got you, Yeah, gotcha.

1679
01:18:17,720 --> 01:18:20,519
Speaker 1: You stay in your zonner, genius, and we'll take care

1680
01:18:20,520 --> 01:18:20,720
Speaker 1: of it.

1681
01:18:20,880 --> 01:18:22,479
Speaker 2: Get out the way and let y'all do what y'all do.

1682
01:18:23,040 --> 01:18:27,200
Speaker 5: Height damn good ready and quick question, the y'all fits

1683
01:18:27,280 --> 01:18:29,080
Speaker 5: Wi Fi too, because the whole time he.

1684
01:18:29,040 --> 01:18:32,360
Speaker 2: Was talking about he has worked so hard.

1685
01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:34,639
Speaker 5: I'm trying to get this website up that his whole

1686
01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:38,559
Speaker 5: video was stuck with him like this, Can you know

1687
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:39,160
Speaker 5: what y'all's in?

1688
01:18:39,240 --> 01:18:39,640
Speaker 2: John Ny?

1689
01:18:40,200 --> 01:18:43,759
Speaker 5: Just tell Literarius how he can find y'all online again,

1690
01:18:43,880 --> 01:18:45,760
Speaker 5: just in case he needs to remind him how great

1691
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:46,439
Speaker 5: y'all are.

1692
01:18:47,000 --> 01:18:52,120
Speaker 4: Yes, you can go to UH Paniccommission, dot com, Panda Commission.

1693
01:18:52,439 --> 01:18:55,679
Speaker 4: You can also search us on Instagram at Panic Commission

1694
01:18:56,960 --> 01:18:59,519
Speaker 4: that works as well, or Facebook at Pandic Commission.

1695
01:18:59,600 --> 01:19:03,519
Speaker 1: So every Pande commission, make sure there's no asset at

1696
01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:06,440
Speaker 1: the end.

1697
01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:16,120
Speaker 2: How study?

1698
01:19:18,840 --> 01:19:20,240
Speaker 1: How pass every great?

1699
01:19:26,520 --> 01:19:28,679
Speaker 3: So when you when you when you first took on

1700
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:33,639
Speaker 3: this opportunity to do Student of Love? You know, this

1701
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:36,320
Speaker 3: is my baby, My book was about to come come out.

1702
01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:38,080
Speaker 3: How did you approach it?

1703
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:38,960
Speaker 2: So?

1704
01:19:39,280 --> 01:19:42,240
Speaker 4: You know, for me, everything that I do is about intentionality.

1705
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:44,320
Speaker 4: And and I recognized too that you were a very

1706
01:19:44,320 --> 01:19:47,519
Speaker 4: intentional person as well. And I remember us talking and

1707
01:19:47,520 --> 01:19:49,200
Speaker 4: I kind of, you know, do my research. You know,

1708
01:19:49,240 --> 01:19:50,800
Speaker 4: I was looking up some of your stuff and I

1709
01:19:50,840 --> 01:19:52,720
Speaker 4: already was aware of who you were, but I was,

1710
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:54,880
Speaker 4: you know, doing more, you know, trying to really and

1711
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:57,599
Speaker 4: I realized that you had a keen eye for video,

1712
01:19:58,200 --> 01:20:01,080
Speaker 4: like your stuff looks amazing, like this, that's amazing, right,

1713
01:20:01,320 --> 01:20:04,760
Speaker 4: And so I knew that I had to be very particular, right,

1714
01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:06,759
Speaker 4: and I understood there was gonna be a high level

1715
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:09,559
Speaker 4: of excellence as you were expecting, because that's who you

1716
01:20:09,600 --> 01:20:12,280
Speaker 4: were as a person. And so I was just looking

1717
01:20:12,320 --> 01:20:14,840
Speaker 4: at a lot of different things. And I also realized,

1718
01:20:15,040 --> 01:20:16,160
Speaker 4: to me, it seemed like you had a lot of

1719
01:20:16,160 --> 01:20:19,240
Speaker 4: intentionality around the cover and the story that the cover

1720
01:20:19,320 --> 01:20:22,479
Speaker 4: was telling. And so I wanted to make sure that

1721
01:20:22,520 --> 01:20:25,840
Speaker 4: the site honored that honored that story because for me,

1722
01:20:26,200 --> 01:20:28,280
Speaker 4: when you design websites, it's one thing just to get

1723
01:20:28,320 --> 01:20:30,160
Speaker 4: it done and get it done quick. That's cool, But

1724
01:20:30,200 --> 01:20:32,759
Speaker 4: can you tell a visual story? Can you make somebody

1725
01:20:32,840 --> 01:20:33,439
Speaker 4: feel something?

1726
01:20:33,960 --> 01:20:34,160
Speaker 2: Right?

1727
01:20:34,520 --> 01:20:37,920
Speaker 4: And oftentimes the sites that we create, people don't realize that.

1728
01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:40,400
Speaker 4: But sometimes me and Johnson we'll sit back and we'll

1729
01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:43,320
Speaker 4: talk about what do we want people to feel when

1730
01:20:43,400 --> 01:20:45,840
Speaker 4: they see the site. What are the words that should

1731
01:20:45,840 --> 01:20:49,800
Speaker 4: come to their head as they scroll right, And we

1732
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:52,240
Speaker 4: know we got it locked in when we do the

1733
01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:54,280
Speaker 4: site and they see it and they start saying the

1734
01:20:54,320 --> 01:20:58,000
Speaker 4: same words that we said we were brainstorming, right, But

1735
01:20:58,040 --> 01:20:59,120
Speaker 4: that's how intentional we have to be.

1736
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:00,840
Speaker 2: And it doesn't happen overnight. You know, it's gonna take

1737
01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:01,560
Speaker 2: some iterations.

1738
01:21:01,760 --> 01:21:03,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, and I think I don't know how

1739
01:21:03,800 --> 01:21:06,360
Speaker 4: many you saw, but usually before you even see one,

1740
01:21:06,600 --> 01:21:08,600
Speaker 4: we've already done three or four versions of it, just

1741
01:21:08,640 --> 01:21:09,480
Speaker 4: to see.

1742
01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:09,920
Speaker 2: Three or four.

1743
01:21:10,040 --> 01:21:12,960
Speaker 4: That's typically what we do, yes, before you even see it,

1744
01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:15,320
Speaker 4: just to make sure that it's something that speaks to

1745
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:18,600
Speaker 4: us because we want to we want to feel it ourselves,

1746
01:21:18,960 --> 01:21:20,960
Speaker 4: hoping that when you see it it feels the same way.

1747
01:21:21,920 --> 01:21:24,479
Speaker 3: So, Johnsy, what did you think when he presented you

1748
01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:27,000
Speaker 3: and told you about Student of Love? What was your

1749
01:21:27,040 --> 01:21:30,320
Speaker 3: first concept or idea idea? What did you take away

1750
01:21:30,320 --> 01:21:34,719
Speaker 3: from asa were ide eighting with the concept and idea?

1751
01:21:35,479 --> 01:21:39,800
Speaker 1: Well, that whole concept was mostly Charles. I am not

1752
01:21:39,920 --> 01:21:44,639
Speaker 1: the designer. He is, you know, the brains behind all that.

1753
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:48,679
Speaker 1: But I was really excited and you know, and excited

1754
01:21:48,800 --> 01:21:53,599
Speaker 1: for him too, because I know he he's a fan

1755
01:21:53,640 --> 01:21:57,320
Speaker 1: of the show, and so that gives him like a

1756
01:21:57,360 --> 01:22:01,519
Speaker 1: better connection and under standing. Like a lot of the

1757
01:22:01,560 --> 01:22:05,960
Speaker 1: clients we work with, he is already in admiration of

1758
01:22:06,040 --> 01:22:09,639
Speaker 1: things that they're doing. So when he creates it's like

1759
01:22:10,200 --> 01:22:13,920
Speaker 1: it's with that care and that admiration. So I was

1760
01:22:13,960 --> 01:22:14,719
Speaker 1: really excited.

1761
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:18,639
Speaker 4: But Johnson's like my emotional barometer, right she So if

1762
01:22:18,640 --> 01:22:21,000
Speaker 4: I'm like if I if I don't know if I'm

1763
01:22:21,040 --> 01:22:23,840
Speaker 4: in tune emotionally, I check in with her because her

1764
01:22:24,040 --> 01:22:26,799
Speaker 4: her her emotion like she's always in tune. It seems

1765
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:29,120
Speaker 4: like she just has a pulse. And so if I'm

1766
01:22:29,120 --> 01:22:31,280
Speaker 4: trying to go for a feeling and I show her

1767
01:22:31,520 --> 01:22:33,920
Speaker 4: and she don't get that feeling, then I feel like, Okay,

1768
01:22:33,960 --> 01:22:36,200
Speaker 4: I gotta I gotta rework this, right. But if I

1769
01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:38,120
Speaker 4: show it to her and she's like whoa and she

1770
01:22:38,160 --> 01:22:41,439
Speaker 4: gets to me that feeling, I'm like, okay, likely, yeah,

1771
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:45,599
Speaker 4: so I know what she saw and she was like, yeah,

1772
01:22:45,640 --> 01:22:46,040
Speaker 4: that's dope.

1773
01:22:46,080 --> 01:22:48,880
Speaker 2: Yeah it was. It was. It was definitely on brand perfect.

1774
01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:53,280
Speaker 2: It was. It made me happily bow down and be

1775
01:22:53,400 --> 01:22:58,680
Speaker 2: like I down to a great one. Do what you

1776
01:22:58,760 --> 01:22:59,120
Speaker 2: do better.

1777
01:22:59,120 --> 01:23:02,880
Speaker 1: And that wasn't even like when when you guys had

1778
01:23:02,880 --> 01:23:07,800
Speaker 1: your call the first call I was, I was like,

1779
01:23:07,960 --> 01:23:11,240
Speaker 1: you know, I could tell how particular you were, you know,

1780
01:23:11,280 --> 01:23:15,240
Speaker 1: aside from you know what Charles mentioned before, but I

1781
01:23:15,320 --> 01:23:18,599
Speaker 1: knew that you really cared about how your website would

1782
01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:21,920
Speaker 1: be presented. Because you care about your community, you care

1783
01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:25,000
Speaker 1: about the people reading the book, You care about you know,

1784
01:23:25,479 --> 01:23:28,760
Speaker 1: people who are watching your videos and consuming. I could

1785
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:32,320
Speaker 1: feel that on the call with you, so you know,

1786
01:23:32,439 --> 01:23:34,759
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, he's in great hands with Charles,

1787
01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:35,720
Speaker 1: but he doesn't even know it.

1788
01:23:36,880 --> 01:23:39,400
Speaker 3: He just kept saying, she said, listen, y'all gonna work

1789
01:23:39,439 --> 01:23:42,400
Speaker 3: so well together. Matter of fact, before y'all came today,

1790
01:23:42,640 --> 01:23:44,920
Speaker 3: she told me today she's like, you're gonna love them.

1791
01:23:44,920 --> 01:23:45,679
Speaker 2: They're just so amazed.

1792
01:23:45,680 --> 01:23:47,160
Speaker 3: I said, y'all, I'll talk to him on the phone

1793
01:23:47,200 --> 01:23:49,479
Speaker 3: for Simon, but they're very open with their story. You're

1794
01:23:49,520 --> 01:23:52,839
Speaker 3: gonna truly love them. My publisher when we did the book,

1795
01:23:53,160 --> 01:23:56,320
Speaker 3: I was a guy that literally went and bought a desk.

1796
01:23:56,439 --> 01:23:58,519
Speaker 3: That desk and the picture and I went and bought

1797
01:23:58,600 --> 01:24:01,559
Speaker 3: a desk founded on eBay, drove all the way to Frisco,

1798
01:24:01,720 --> 01:24:03,760
Speaker 3: got the desk from this lady who was selling it,

1799
01:24:04,160 --> 01:24:06,559
Speaker 3: took it to a studio, took photos of all the

1800
01:24:06,600 --> 01:24:09,559
Speaker 3: angles of the desk and said, I'm gonna present it

1801
01:24:09,560 --> 01:24:13,160
Speaker 3: to my publisher and say, this is the desk I

1802
01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:16,640
Speaker 3: want as the cover. You know, and me and the

1803
01:24:16,760 --> 01:24:19,280
Speaker 3: art department was going back and forth the colors. I

1804
01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:22,600
Speaker 3: don't want this color, I want this color to the lead.

1805
01:24:23,439 --> 01:24:27,000
Speaker 3: The lead of the art director had to get involved

1806
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:30,160
Speaker 3: on my cover because I was just like, I'm not

1807
01:24:30,200 --> 01:24:32,720
Speaker 3: liking this, I need this, and she was like, I

1808
01:24:32,760 --> 01:24:34,519
Speaker 3: think I know what the Tears wants. So then she

1809
01:24:34,640 --> 01:24:36,320
Speaker 3: got involved. It was like all right, let's get it.

1810
01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:38,599
Speaker 3: And I was like then I went crazy, like if

1811
01:24:38,640 --> 01:24:40,639
Speaker 3: you nail it, you give me what I want. It's

1812
01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:44,160
Speaker 3: like because again, I'm an artist, so I'm a graphic designer,

1813
01:24:44,240 --> 01:24:45,519
Speaker 3: so I can design stuff. And I'd be like, now

1814
01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:47,479
Speaker 3: if I could do it by myself, I don't need you.

1815
01:24:47,479 --> 01:24:49,639
Speaker 3: You need to be able to present me something that

1816
01:24:49,720 --> 01:24:51,880
Speaker 3: I haven't thought of or I can't do on my own.

1817
01:24:52,200 --> 01:24:55,439
Speaker 3: And that's what Panda Commission did with the website because

1818
01:24:55,479 --> 01:24:58,719
Speaker 3: I attempted to build a website, which would have been okay,

1819
01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:00,879
Speaker 3: but I don't want Hey, I want greatness.

1820
01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:03,240
Speaker 2: So I went to the people that could produce greatness.

1821
01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:06,200
Speaker 8: So how would you What would you say, I'm sure

1822
01:25:06,800 --> 01:25:10,720
Speaker 8: because you're a researcher, Yes, you know your competition. If

1823
01:25:11,040 --> 01:25:13,240
Speaker 8: you believe in that, I always say, we are we

1824
01:25:13,280 --> 01:25:15,160
Speaker 8: look in the mirror and we are our own competition.

1825
01:25:15,479 --> 01:25:18,080
Speaker 8: But what would you say makes you stand out as

1826
01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:21,600
Speaker 8: a company and how do you approach building websites in

1827
01:25:21,640 --> 01:25:23,200
Speaker 8: a way that really makes you.

1828
01:25:23,160 --> 01:25:24,519
Speaker 2: Unique phenomenal question?

1829
01:25:24,680 --> 01:25:27,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say intentionality. I mean a lot of

1830
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:32,240
Speaker 4: we have been glamored, especially recently by speed, right, And

1831
01:25:32,280 --> 01:25:34,519
Speaker 4: I understand everyone says, you know, money loves speed, and

1832
01:25:34,520 --> 01:25:36,680
Speaker 4: I get that, and there's there's definitely true to that,

1833
01:25:37,080 --> 01:25:39,920
Speaker 4: but there's also something about branding and having something that

1834
01:25:40,160 --> 01:25:43,320
Speaker 4: lasts long, and having something that foundationally speaks to who

1835
01:25:43,360 --> 01:25:45,560
Speaker 4: you are and what you're about and represents you to

1836
01:25:45,600 --> 01:25:48,880
Speaker 4: the fullest. I think we've gotten so used to, you know, this,

1837
01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:51,519
Speaker 4: this this culture where everything's so fast and we think

1838
01:25:51,560 --> 01:25:53,800
Speaker 4: that everything's so transactional that we don't we don't try

1839
01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:56,000
Speaker 4: to do anything with staying power. And so for me,

1840
01:25:56,120 --> 01:25:58,960
Speaker 4: when I approach it, I'm approaching it like an artist, right,

1841
01:25:59,080 --> 01:26:00,920
Speaker 4: I'm approaching it likes and when it's like, Okay, this

1842
01:26:01,000 --> 01:26:03,880
Speaker 4: is this is something that's going to represent this individual,

1843
01:26:03,960 --> 01:26:07,280
Speaker 4: represent me too as a creator, represent them, but also

1844
01:26:07,280 --> 01:26:09,040
Speaker 4: something that's gonna have impact, We're trying to get it

1845
01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:10,639
Speaker 4: to convert. We're trying to get to tell a story.

1846
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:12,400
Speaker 4: We're trying to get it to do all these things.

1847
01:26:12,439 --> 01:26:13,160
Speaker 2: I could do it.

1848
01:26:13,120 --> 01:26:16,520
Speaker 4: Fast, and it could be transactional. It can have all

1849
01:26:16,560 --> 01:26:19,400
Speaker 4: the elements right and have a button that you can purchase.

1850
01:26:19,920 --> 01:26:24,000
Speaker 4: But oftentimes, especially when we're doing something that matters and

1851
01:26:24,000 --> 01:26:26,280
Speaker 4: we're trying to impact lives, it needs to be more

1852
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:28,880
Speaker 4: intentional than that. And so that's how I approach it.

1853
01:26:28,880 --> 01:26:31,280
Speaker 4: And so you know, because I approach it that way,

1854
01:26:31,360 --> 01:26:33,599
Speaker 4: not everybody wants that. Some people just wanted to quick fast.

1855
01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:36,479
Speaker 4: I know McDonald's got burgers, right, I don't know if

1856
01:26:36,520 --> 01:26:38,599
Speaker 4: they sell the best burgers. I don't know if you're

1857
01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:40,880
Speaker 4: gonna have the most amazing burger you've ever had. I

1858
01:26:40,920 --> 01:26:42,640
Speaker 4: don't know if it's gonna be a burger that's going

1859
01:26:42,720 --> 01:26:45,000
Speaker 4: to be memorable that you're gonna talk about or try

1860
01:26:45,000 --> 01:26:47,880
Speaker 4: to replicate and at home, it ain't gonna be all that,

1861
01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:48,840
Speaker 4: but it's gonna feed you.

1862
01:26:49,040 --> 01:26:53,040
Speaker 1: I never want to make a McDonald's burger, you.

1863
01:26:52,960 --> 01:26:53,479
Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying.

1864
01:26:53,560 --> 01:26:55,439
Speaker 4: But that's the thing I think now, especially when it

1865
01:26:55,439 --> 01:26:58,200
Speaker 4: comes to websites and branding andortainthing like that, people just

1866
01:26:58,200 --> 01:27:00,000
Speaker 4: want it quick. They just want something and that's cool.

1867
01:27:00,600 --> 01:27:02,640
Speaker 4: You can do that, but just understand that that's what

1868
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:05,479
Speaker 4: it represents to the people who are seeing it. And so,

1869
01:27:05,680 --> 01:27:07,840
Speaker 4: but what the clients that I work with Oftentimes, they're

1870
01:27:07,840 --> 01:27:10,400
Speaker 4: coming to me because they want something different and they

1871
01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:12,960
Speaker 4: want something that represents them to the fullest, and they're

1872
01:27:12,960 --> 01:27:14,920
Speaker 4: looking at a higher level. They're looking at their brand

1873
01:27:15,200 --> 01:27:17,599
Speaker 4: and they're looking at it like longevity because you their

1874
01:27:17,720 --> 01:27:20,200
Speaker 4: established brand. They're like, I'm not just gonna have this

1875
01:27:20,240 --> 01:27:22,760
Speaker 4: out here just to be you know, especially there're gonna

1876
01:27:22,760 --> 01:27:25,200
Speaker 4: bee hundred thousand people looking at it or however, so

1877
01:27:25,200 --> 01:27:28,040
Speaker 4: I wanted to connect and so that's why they work

1878
01:27:28,080 --> 01:27:28,880
Speaker 4: with someone like me.

1879
01:27:30,280 --> 01:27:30,760
Speaker 2: That's good.

1880
01:27:31,280 --> 01:27:34,280
Speaker 3: So how was it as we get ready to wrap

1881
01:27:34,400 --> 01:27:37,920
Speaker 3: up a lot of people do purpose together, they work together,

1882
01:27:38,360 --> 01:27:42,400
Speaker 3: building business together. What was that like with y'all? And

1883
01:27:42,520 --> 01:27:48,080
Speaker 3: what was the positive and the negative have been on

1884
01:27:48,120 --> 01:27:53,200
Speaker 3: this journey as been co founders Pande Commission, You know.

1885
01:27:53,200 --> 01:27:57,920
Speaker 1: What, It's a question I get asked pretty frequently, like

1886
01:27:58,479 --> 01:28:00,960
Speaker 1: how is it working with your spouse? Because so many people,

1887
01:28:02,040 --> 01:28:05,519
Speaker 1: you know, have this fantasy of working with their spouse

1888
01:28:05,960 --> 01:28:10,960
Speaker 1: And sometimes I did, I really did, and you know,

1889
01:28:11,040 --> 01:28:14,479
Speaker 1: it doesn't always work out for whatever reason, but it's

1890
01:28:14,520 --> 01:28:21,120
Speaker 1: been Initially was very easy for us, and probably because

1891
01:28:21,160 --> 01:28:23,719
Speaker 1: I didn't have as much of a hand in Panic Commission.

1892
01:28:24,200 --> 01:28:25,920
Speaker 1: And then as the years going on.

1893
01:28:25,800 --> 01:28:29,320
Speaker 4: And we started, she was doing the preschool downstairs, and

1894
01:28:29,320 --> 01:28:32,280
Speaker 4: then I started panting commission upstairs because after COVID had

1895
01:28:32,400 --> 01:28:34,960
Speaker 4: kind of weighed down a little bit, we reopened the

1896
01:28:35,760 --> 01:28:39,120
Speaker 4: daycare center. So she was so she was doing it downstairs.

1897
01:28:39,160 --> 01:28:40,760
Speaker 4: I was doing panting upstairs. So really it was just

1898
01:28:40,760 --> 01:28:42,960
Speaker 4: me starting and then right so.

1899
01:28:42,920 --> 01:28:45,600
Speaker 1: I would help them with things like you know, copywriting

1900
01:28:45,720 --> 01:28:49,439
Speaker 1: and you know, reviewing things. But you know, for the

1901
01:28:49,479 --> 01:28:52,400
Speaker 1: most part, initially it was him, and then once we

1902
01:28:52,479 --> 01:28:57,080
Speaker 1: closed the preschool, I I helped and stepped in a

1903
01:28:57,120 --> 01:29:00,080
Speaker 1: little bit more, but so much so that, you know,

1904
01:29:00,120 --> 01:29:01,800
Speaker 1: I have a few more followers and things like that.

1905
01:29:01,800 --> 01:29:04,600
Speaker 1: I'm a bit louder, and you know, I'm more, I

1906
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:09,160
Speaker 1: have more interpersonal skills. He's an introvert. I'm an extrovert.

1907
01:29:09,160 --> 01:29:11,599
Speaker 1: I like talking to people. So I would be talking

1908
01:29:11,600 --> 01:29:14,080
Speaker 1: to people about Panic Commission, and they would think that

1909
01:29:14,200 --> 01:29:16,280
Speaker 1: I'm the owner and I was the one doing the

1910
01:29:16,320 --> 01:29:19,439
Speaker 1: designs and stuff like that. And so it got to

1911
01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:23,520
Speaker 1: a point where it became really stressful for us because

1912
01:29:24,000 --> 01:29:28,080
Speaker 1: you know, people didn't really understand our dynamic and that

1913
01:29:28,240 --> 01:29:33,400
Speaker 1: he's really the head of Panic Commission and running the

1914
01:29:33,439 --> 01:29:36,760
Speaker 1: operations and managing the team and managing the clients and

1915
01:29:36,800 --> 01:29:41,520
Speaker 1: all the you know, designs and everything, and so it

1916
01:29:41,520 --> 01:29:43,960
Speaker 1: it came to a contention because people were like, well,

1917
01:29:44,200 --> 01:29:45,599
Speaker 1: you know, we got to get john Cy to come

1918
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:48,720
Speaker 1: and speak. We got to get her to speak. I

1919
01:29:48,760 --> 01:29:51,280
Speaker 1: want to, you know, talk to John c. She's the head.

1920
01:29:51,520 --> 01:29:54,559
Speaker 2: She can help me. Oh yeah, sure.

1921
01:29:54,800 --> 01:29:55,280
Speaker 5: And like.

1922
01:29:57,439 --> 01:30:00,080
Speaker 1: Do brand audits and all this stuff. And I'm like,

1923
01:30:00,200 --> 01:30:01,400
Speaker 1: this is this is charge.

1924
01:30:01,479 --> 01:30:06,000
Speaker 4: She wasn't even getting award. People was putting nominar for

1925
01:30:06,120 --> 01:30:12,080
Speaker 4: business and I'm like, oh it was, I mean it

1926
01:30:12,160 --> 01:30:14,360
Speaker 4: was it was Panda Commission, but it was her name.

1927
01:30:14,479 --> 01:30:18,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so you know, and then on top of that,

1928
01:30:19,080 --> 01:30:22,240
Speaker 1: I'm you know, trying to do things in the house,

1929
01:30:22,320 --> 01:30:26,240
Speaker 1: will be mommy and you know, take the kids here

1930
01:30:26,280 --> 01:30:28,880
Speaker 1: and there, and then you know, just trying to get

1931
01:30:28,920 --> 01:30:33,160
Speaker 1: back to rebuilding myself and you know, now we're on

1932
01:30:33,200 --> 01:30:35,719
Speaker 1: this weight loss journey. But I had to step away

1933
01:30:35,720 --> 01:30:40,599
Speaker 1: from Panda Commission in order to kind of revisit who

1934
01:30:40,640 --> 01:30:44,080
Speaker 1: I am and kind of think about what I want

1935
01:30:44,120 --> 01:30:47,400
Speaker 1: to do long term within the company outside of Panda,

1936
01:30:47,880 --> 01:30:49,760
Speaker 1: you know, as a mother, because now we're going to

1937
01:30:49,880 --> 01:30:53,599
Speaker 1: homeschool our kids. But I had I stepped away from

1938
01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:56,400
Speaker 1: Panda commission for like several months.

1939
01:30:56,680 --> 01:31:00,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you know, to be clear, it was just

1940
01:31:00,080 --> 01:31:04,639
Speaker 4: misalignment in a lot of different ways, and I wanted

1941
01:31:04,760 --> 01:31:06,639
Speaker 4: I want Johnson to be in the front. She's amazing

1942
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:10,519
Speaker 4: at it. She brings attention, like like I can't. We

1943
01:31:10,640 --> 01:31:13,360
Speaker 4: tested this out in different ways, like literally, she would

1944
01:31:13,360 --> 01:31:16,240
Speaker 4: do a post that I may have wrote or we

1945
01:31:16,280 --> 01:31:19,360
Speaker 4: wrote together and posted, and I would do the same

1946
01:31:19,360 --> 01:31:22,760
Speaker 4: exact thing. Hers would blow up in a way and

1947
01:31:22,840 --> 01:31:25,599
Speaker 4: minus of crickets right, and we would do this various things.

1948
01:31:25,640 --> 01:31:28,400
Speaker 4: We kept testing this out and it was just notable.

1949
01:31:28,479 --> 01:31:31,559
Speaker 4: Like Okay, clearly you do want people want to see, right,

1950
01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:34,040
Speaker 4: so let's let's try to leverage that. And what happens

1951
01:31:34,080 --> 01:31:36,040
Speaker 4: is I think is really Johnsy's heart. You know, she's

1952
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:39,080
Speaker 4: she wants to help, and so people were asking for help,

1953
01:31:39,360 --> 01:31:41,479
Speaker 4: and so she wanted to help, and so she would does.

1954
01:31:41,360 --> 01:31:43,000
Speaker 9: I see people, you know, And then I had with

1955
01:31:43,040 --> 01:31:47,559
Speaker 9: these blag websites, horrible branding and looking like a hot

1956
01:31:47,600 --> 01:31:51,200
Speaker 9: mess and I have a heart for black business because

1957
01:31:51,200 --> 01:31:53,360
Speaker 9: that's what I grew up around in New York.

1958
01:31:53,240 --> 01:31:56,320
Speaker 1: You know, and that's I feel like being a black

1959
01:31:56,400 --> 01:31:59,360
Speaker 1: business owner and helping other black business owners is a

1960
01:31:59,360 --> 01:32:02,080
Speaker 1: way of acting, just like education as a way of

1961
01:32:02,120 --> 01:32:06,840
Speaker 1: activismin this ministry. And so you know, that's how that's

1962
01:32:06,880 --> 01:32:09,920
Speaker 1: one way we can rebuild our community as black people.

1963
01:32:10,280 --> 01:32:13,160
Speaker 1: And so you know, it hurts my heart when I

1964
01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:17,759
Speaker 1: see that. I'll be talking about it. And so she

1965
01:32:18,160 --> 01:32:23,760
Speaker 1: looked at website. We'll get you right, we get you right.

1966
01:32:26,760 --> 01:32:30,240
Speaker 7: She's I feel so bad. I was like, I'm sorry,

1967
01:32:30,240 --> 01:32:33,600
Speaker 7: this is about it's about commission.

1968
01:32:34,479 --> 01:32:34,919
Speaker 2: Commission.

1969
01:32:37,400 --> 01:32:39,759
Speaker 4: So she'd be saying stuff, and the thing was because

1970
01:32:39,800 --> 01:32:42,519
Speaker 4: she was you know, uh, you know, being seen as

1971
01:32:42,520 --> 01:32:45,240
Speaker 4: the co founder or as the leader, everything she said

1972
01:32:45,280 --> 01:32:48,080
Speaker 4: was pretty much gospel. So when she would say certain things,

1973
01:32:48,640 --> 01:32:51,320
Speaker 4: you know, I had to back it up as a company.

1974
01:32:51,560 --> 01:32:53,120
Speaker 4: But there were some things that she said that that

1975
01:32:53,240 --> 01:32:55,400
Speaker 4: wasn't in alignment in terms of how we actually operated

1976
01:32:55,479 --> 01:32:58,160
Speaker 4: or how things were actually done. And so it got

1977
01:32:58,200 --> 01:33:00,360
Speaker 4: to a point where, you know, and I tell her,

1978
01:33:00,360 --> 01:33:02,200
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, if you if you're gonna do that,

1979
01:33:02,520 --> 01:33:05,200
Speaker 4: if you're going to be that person, right because I

1980
01:33:05,400 --> 01:33:07,719
Speaker 4: went to you know, I went to Columbing Business coming

1981
01:33:07,720 --> 01:33:11,680
Speaker 4: to Columbia Business School, I finished the Chief Marketing Officer program.

1982
01:33:11,760 --> 01:33:15,040
Speaker 4: When I first started to do this work, I immediately

1983
01:33:15,040 --> 01:33:17,839
Speaker 4: went to school like I didn't like just like a principle,

1984
01:33:17,880 --> 01:33:19,679
Speaker 4: like you know, I'm like, okay, I could teach some people,

1985
01:33:19,680 --> 01:33:22,360
Speaker 4: but let me make sure i'm educated. Make sure I'm

1986
01:33:22,400 --> 01:33:24,800
Speaker 4: educated by the best too. So going to Columbing Business

1987
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:27,759
Speaker 4: School and actually like learning how marketing works and branding

1988
01:33:27,760 --> 01:33:29,840
Speaker 4: and all this stuff works, I'm approaching it from a

1989
01:33:29,880 --> 01:33:32,519
Speaker 4: different lens. And so I didn't mind her, you know,

1990
01:33:32,880 --> 01:33:35,559
Speaker 4: representing us, but I wanted her to represent us to

1991
01:33:35,640 --> 01:33:37,759
Speaker 4: the fools and not just be all you know, emotion

1992
01:33:37,920 --> 01:33:40,559
Speaker 4: or how she ever she was feeling. Because she said, hey,

1993
01:33:40,880 --> 01:33:42,479
Speaker 4: yeah we could do that, and we could do this,

1994
01:33:42,560 --> 01:33:45,880
Speaker 4: and yeah you haven't done next week, and I'd be like, whoa, whoa,

1995
01:33:46,040 --> 01:33:48,400
Speaker 4: you don't know that we got like four other projects.

1996
01:33:48,400 --> 01:33:50,200
Speaker 4: You ain't no way I could deliver that, or if

1997
01:33:50,200 --> 01:33:52,280
Speaker 4: I did, it would be like super stressful for everybody.

1998
01:33:52,720 --> 01:33:55,400
Speaker 4: So I just wanted that alignment. And so we were

1999
01:33:55,400 --> 01:33:57,720
Speaker 4: having some trouble with that because John Cy, she's a

2000
01:33:57,760 --> 01:33:58,360
Speaker 4: feeling person.

2001
01:33:58,360 --> 01:33:59,080
Speaker 2: So she didn't want to.

2002
01:33:59,280 --> 01:34:01,000
Speaker 4: She didn't want me to botto her in in terms

2003
01:34:01,000 --> 01:34:02,880
Speaker 4: of be like, hey, don't say that, don't say this,

2004
01:34:03,040 --> 01:34:05,920
Speaker 4: don't say that, you know, and I don't want to

2005
01:34:05,960 --> 01:34:07,240
Speaker 4: do that. But then at the time, I was like,

2006
01:34:07,280 --> 01:34:10,120
Speaker 4: you have to understand, like there's real action that happens

2007
01:34:10,200 --> 01:34:12,720
Speaker 4: when you speak, so when you say things or even

2008
01:34:12,760 --> 01:34:15,040
Speaker 4: a promotion sometimes she wanted to do it was an

2009
01:34:15,040 --> 01:34:16,880
Speaker 4: amazing idea, but I was like, we did that promotion

2010
01:34:17,000 --> 01:34:19,840
Speaker 4: right now, and let's say we had ten people sign

2011
01:34:19,920 --> 01:34:22,240
Speaker 4: up today and they expecting it.

2012
01:34:22,320 --> 01:34:25,160
Speaker 2: We said it'd be done in five days. Ten people like,

2013
01:34:25,240 --> 01:34:26,120
Speaker 2: ain't no way.

2014
01:34:26,360 --> 01:34:27,840
Speaker 4: And so I would have to put a pause on

2015
01:34:27,880 --> 01:34:30,360
Speaker 4: that because you know, we couldn't fulfill that. And the

2016
01:34:30,400 --> 01:34:32,479
Speaker 4: thing is, you know, part of your brand is your fulfillment,

2017
01:34:32,560 --> 01:34:34,800
Speaker 4: right can you deliver on what you what you said?

2018
01:34:35,120 --> 01:34:36,720
Speaker 4: And so I wanted us to have more alignment. And

2019
01:34:36,760 --> 01:34:39,080
Speaker 4: so since we couldn't really connect on that in a

2020
01:34:39,120 --> 01:34:41,559
Speaker 4: way that that I felt like, I guess we both

2021
01:34:41,560 --> 01:34:43,920
Speaker 4: were frustrated because we didn't really see each other, you

2022
01:34:43,920 --> 01:34:46,120
Speaker 4: know each other's point at the time, we had to

2023
01:34:46,160 --> 01:34:48,200
Speaker 4: do that separation. Well, so we say we had a

2024
01:34:48,240 --> 01:34:51,160
Speaker 4: separation in business right, our marriage were strong. This is

2025
01:34:51,240 --> 01:34:53,200
Speaker 4: funny thing that happened is that as soon as we

2026
01:34:53,520 --> 01:34:56,479
Speaker 4: separated in business right, Johnson was no longer doing things.

2027
01:34:56,560 --> 01:34:58,040
Speaker 4: She even went goest online for a while.

2028
01:34:58,120 --> 01:35:01,560
Speaker 1: No, I deleted all my social media. Yes, I was done.

2029
01:35:01,400 --> 01:35:05,080
Speaker 4: She was like, I've checked out. We actually had a

2030
01:35:05,160 --> 01:35:08,840
Speaker 4: really great time in terms of our marriage, like it could,

2031
01:35:08,880 --> 01:35:10,760
Speaker 4: you know, because before we would you know, getting little,

2032
01:35:10,840 --> 01:35:13,680
Speaker 4: you know, discussions about the business that weren't really you know,

2033
01:35:13,880 --> 01:35:15,920
Speaker 4: feeling good. But then once we got back to just

2034
01:35:15,960 --> 01:35:18,800
Speaker 4: being us, it was amazing, right, And so then we

2035
01:35:18,840 --> 01:35:21,280
Speaker 4: had to really think about it. It's like, okay, is

2036
01:35:21,320 --> 01:35:23,599
Speaker 4: this you know, like we got to really figure out

2037
01:35:23,680 --> 01:35:26,160
Speaker 4: how can we do this at the same time, because

2038
01:35:26,479 --> 01:35:29,200
Speaker 4: one thing that did happen when she was absent was that,

2039
01:35:30,200 --> 01:35:33,280
Speaker 4: you know, we were pretty much absent online, right, because

2040
01:35:33,320 --> 01:35:35,360
Speaker 4: she is a person that brings the attention. So I

2041
01:35:35,720 --> 01:35:38,240
Speaker 4: need her and I need her ideas. And so I

2042
01:35:38,280 --> 01:35:40,440
Speaker 4: think now we're at a place now where she understands

2043
01:35:40,479 --> 01:35:43,800
Speaker 4: that fulfillment has to connect with ideas, Execution has to

2044
01:35:43,840 --> 01:35:46,840
Speaker 4: connect with vision. It can't just be all, you know,

2045
01:35:46,880 --> 01:35:49,720
Speaker 4: we just gonna do conquer the world and there's no

2046
01:35:49,800 --> 01:35:51,920
Speaker 4: actual plan in execution on how to do that.

2047
01:35:52,200 --> 01:35:55,000
Speaker 3: And so now so now her position is brand ambassador,

2048
01:35:55,280 --> 01:35:59,240
Speaker 3: correct perfect correct, perfectly with what she enjoys doing, what

2049
01:35:59,479 --> 01:36:03,200
Speaker 3: she loves doing, and she can open up social media.

2050
01:36:03,000 --> 01:36:03,519
Speaker 2: Back up.

2051
01:36:05,880 --> 01:36:11,519
Speaker 1: Last weekend, first week and I've been back, welcome back,

2052
01:36:13,040 --> 01:36:14,479
Speaker 1: welcome back to thank you.

2053
01:36:14,920 --> 01:36:17,360
Speaker 2: Yes, And I think learning from.

2054
01:36:19,040 --> 01:36:21,200
Speaker 4: I think learning from this too, Like I know, I

2055
01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:22,679
Speaker 4: got to get out of her way when it comes

2056
01:36:22,720 --> 01:36:22,920
Speaker 4: to that.

2057
01:36:23,320 --> 01:36:26,759
Speaker 1: It's a balance, just like leaning into each other's guests

2058
01:36:26,840 --> 01:36:29,800
Speaker 1: is what it is. Because you know, I have the

2059
01:36:29,840 --> 01:36:32,680
Speaker 1: gift of being the extrovert and having all these ideas,

2060
01:36:32,840 --> 01:36:35,880
Speaker 1: but I can't execute. Yeah, you know, I need him

2061
01:36:36,200 --> 01:36:38,120
Speaker 1: in order to execute on all those things.

2062
01:36:38,560 --> 01:36:40,200
Speaker 4: And the same thing, you know, like me, I don't

2063
01:36:40,200 --> 01:36:42,040
Speaker 4: think of all those different things in terms of like

2064
01:36:42,400 --> 01:36:44,400
Speaker 4: I mean, she's got amazing ideas, and I'm all right,

2065
01:36:44,479 --> 01:36:46,120
Speaker 4: let's okay, we can't do five of those things. We

2066
01:36:46,160 --> 01:36:48,639
Speaker 4: could do one, you know, like it, give me, give

2067
01:36:48,640 --> 01:36:50,080
Speaker 4: me some time, and we do that one and let's

2068
01:36:50,120 --> 01:36:51,960
Speaker 4: move on to the next one. But I need her

2069
01:36:52,000 --> 01:36:53,960
Speaker 4: for that because she has amazing ideas.

2070
01:36:54,160 --> 01:36:55,360
Speaker 2: That's good, that's good.

2071
01:36:55,800 --> 01:36:58,840
Speaker 3: Well, here's a part of the podcast where you grab

2072
01:36:58,920 --> 01:37:02,920
Speaker 3: that box. Y'all grabbed that box. Take the whole box

2073
01:37:02,920 --> 01:37:06,360
Speaker 3: as a marker and a key and a piece of paper.

2074
01:37:06,720 --> 01:37:10,559
Speaker 3: I want y'all individually to write a key to love.

2075
01:37:12,200 --> 01:37:16,080
Speaker 3: Write a key to love. Ask you what you think?

2076
01:37:16,240 --> 01:37:19,760
Speaker 3: What do you think about this episode? Well, and y'all

2077
01:37:19,760 --> 01:37:22,000
Speaker 3: can use the boxing, write and keep the box. Yeah,

2078
01:37:22,360 --> 01:37:23,960
Speaker 3: y'all can write on top of it.

2079
01:37:24,600 --> 01:37:28,880
Speaker 7: I loved it. You know, I did teach for America.

2080
01:37:29,680 --> 01:37:30,839
Speaker 7: I did teach for America.

2081
01:37:30,920 --> 01:37:33,000
Speaker 8: So of course the conversation is near and dear to

2082
01:37:33,040 --> 01:37:36,719
Speaker 8: my heart. It's not every day you meet like minded people.

2083
01:37:37,120 --> 01:37:40,640
Speaker 7: You know. My motto is when thinking about.

2084
01:37:40,360 --> 01:37:44,000
Speaker 8: Teaching or educating that if they don't learn the way

2085
01:37:44,040 --> 01:37:46,080
Speaker 8: we teach, we need to teach the way.

2086
01:37:45,920 --> 01:37:46,599
Speaker 7: That they learn.

2087
01:37:47,160 --> 01:37:49,280
Speaker 8: And a lot of people say that's doing too much,

2088
01:37:49,560 --> 01:37:52,600
Speaker 8: like here's my curriculum. They just need to kind of

2089
01:37:52,640 --> 01:37:54,639
Speaker 8: get on board. And you know, but when he talks

2090
01:37:54,640 --> 01:37:58,880
Speaker 8: about like differentiated instruction and how they meet the needs

2091
01:37:58,920 --> 01:38:01,800
Speaker 8: of their kids, it's like, I think that every kid

2092
01:38:01,920 --> 01:38:07,479
Speaker 8: deserves that level of like just support, right, and so

2093
01:38:07,680 --> 01:38:11,720
Speaker 8: meeting them where they are learning, taking the time to

2094
01:38:11,840 --> 01:38:15,120
Speaker 8: learn how they learn, to set them up for success,

2095
01:38:15,360 --> 01:38:17,479
Speaker 8: So hearing that, of course, and then just knowing that

2096
01:38:17,520 --> 01:38:21,880
Speaker 8: they're from the West Coast, which is the best coast,

2097
01:38:22,320 --> 01:38:24,680
Speaker 8: you know, the West Coast, and then just seeing how

2098
01:38:24,680 --> 01:38:29,200
Speaker 8: they went through all of these seasons together and then

2099
01:38:29,800 --> 01:38:33,320
Speaker 8: you know today now they have this thriving business and

2100
01:38:33,360 --> 01:38:36,720
Speaker 8: they are working out what it looks like to you know,

2101
01:38:36,800 --> 01:38:41,080
Speaker 8: work together it through different iterations of their you know

2102
01:38:41,200 --> 01:38:44,320
Speaker 8: marriage and then of their business marriage. So I just

2103
01:38:44,360 --> 01:38:47,639
Speaker 8: think it's really beautiful to see that evolution and how

2104
01:38:47,640 --> 01:38:52,680
Speaker 8: they take their strengths and perceived weaknesses and then you know,

2105
01:38:53,320 --> 01:38:56,080
Speaker 8: use them together to create something special.

2106
01:38:56,439 --> 01:39:01,320
Speaker 3: Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I'm not going to say nothing. I'll

2107
01:39:01,360 --> 01:39:04,040
Speaker 3: let you talk. What you said was just great. I

2108
01:39:04,080 --> 01:39:06,280
Speaker 3: said everything in the interview and you summed it up.

2109
01:39:06,400 --> 01:39:09,200
Speaker 7: I said that last week and you said, but you

2110
01:39:09,320 --> 01:39:09,599
Speaker 7: did you.

2111
01:39:09,520 --> 01:39:11,679
Speaker 2: Tell me I talk a lot during the interview.

2112
01:39:11,760 --> 01:39:12,400
Speaker 7: I talked a lot.

2113
01:39:13,080 --> 01:39:13,960
Speaker 2: No, not more than me.

2114
01:39:14,320 --> 01:39:15,760
Speaker 7: Okay, no more.

2115
01:39:15,880 --> 01:39:20,000
Speaker 3: Here's more so you you you summed it up perfectly

2116
01:39:20,320 --> 01:39:22,840
Speaker 3: and everything you said. And while they were talking about

2117
01:39:22,880 --> 01:39:26,880
Speaker 3: teaching the kid john Z teaching the sons how to

2118
01:39:27,320 --> 01:39:29,360
Speaker 3: read that too, I said, that's the Ashley thing.

2119
01:39:29,479 --> 01:39:31,439
Speaker 7: Yes it is. I told him I said, you have

2120
01:39:31,600 --> 01:39:33,400
Speaker 7: no idea. Like one of my.

2121
01:39:33,400 --> 01:39:36,439
Speaker 8: Pet peeves is people look at kids and they'll say, oh,

2122
01:39:36,479 --> 01:39:38,880
Speaker 8: he just he's too young to know any better. And

2123
01:39:38,920 --> 01:39:42,800
Speaker 8: I'm like, you don't know how smart kids are. Like

2124
01:39:42,880 --> 01:39:45,680
Speaker 8: that's what made me a successful kindergarten teachers. I used

2125
01:39:45,720 --> 01:39:48,680
Speaker 8: to talk to my kids like they were teenager, Like

2126
01:39:48,720 --> 01:39:49,960
Speaker 8: I don't baby them.

2127
01:39:50,000 --> 01:39:50,800
Speaker 7: I talked to them.

2128
01:39:50,840 --> 01:39:53,760
Speaker 8: I teach them, I have conversations with them, and then

2129
01:39:53,800 --> 01:39:57,120
Speaker 8: you realize how smart like kids really are. So that

2130
01:39:57,240 --> 01:40:00,360
Speaker 8: really was close to my heart because my kid will

2131
01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:01,680
Speaker 8: be doing that too.

2132
01:40:04,400 --> 01:40:07,599
Speaker 2: You're to tell them where you talk. I did, but

2133
01:40:07,680 --> 01:40:09,479
Speaker 2: the school. But what city?

2134
01:40:09,880 --> 01:40:12,320
Speaker 7: Oh, Bedsty, Brooklyn, New York.

2135
01:40:12,400 --> 01:40:13,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was out there in Bestue.

2136
01:40:14,240 --> 01:40:16,280
Speaker 7: She used to say, Bedsty do or die.

2137
01:40:16,360 --> 01:40:20,280
Speaker 1: Yes, I lived in Bedsty for a while when my

2138
01:40:20,320 --> 01:40:24,080
Speaker 1: mom was working at a newspaper there. And it's you know,

2139
01:40:24,360 --> 01:40:26,639
Speaker 1: there was when I was growing up. There was nothing

2140
01:40:26,960 --> 01:40:30,519
Speaker 1: like uncommon schools for kids you know out there, and

2141
01:40:30,560 --> 01:40:33,559
Speaker 1: it's just there's such a need. There's such a need,

2142
01:40:33,640 --> 01:40:35,760
Speaker 1: because I agree with you. When I was doing the

2143
01:40:35,800 --> 01:40:41,000
Speaker 1: preschool seeing kids, they're already set in their personalities by

2144
01:40:41,040 --> 01:40:44,680
Speaker 1: the age. People don't understand that when kids are toddlers,

2145
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:47,720
Speaker 1: you know, there were born with our personalities and it

2146
01:40:47,800 --> 01:40:52,639
Speaker 1: develops over time. And just seeing kids, you know, click

2147
01:40:52,680 --> 01:40:56,040
Speaker 1: when something clicks with them, and how their capacity to

2148
01:40:56,160 --> 01:41:00,639
Speaker 1: learn and their passion to learn is like, people don't

2149
01:41:00,640 --> 01:41:01,719
Speaker 1: really understand that.

2150
01:41:01,800 --> 01:41:04,120
Speaker 4: And the other kids that we brought in, Johnson was

2151
01:41:04,120 --> 01:41:06,639
Speaker 4: teaching them too. I mean they came in not even

2152
01:41:06,680 --> 01:41:10,000
Speaker 4: knowing any of the letters, not knowing much of anything,

2153
01:41:10,320 --> 01:41:13,360
Speaker 4: and left us, you know, reading, you know, she was

2154
01:41:13,439 --> 01:41:15,639
Speaker 4: able to replicate it and and and people ask how

2155
01:41:15,680 --> 01:41:19,080
Speaker 4: and why. Honestly, what it is is high expectations. Yep,

2156
01:41:19,680 --> 01:41:23,000
Speaker 4: you know. Expectations are self fufilming prophecies. Right, So what'd

2157
01:41:23,000 --> 01:41:25,760
Speaker 4: you do with your little key there? Right here?

2158
01:41:27,160 --> 01:41:31,120
Speaker 2: She got?

2159
01:41:31,200 --> 01:41:32,760
Speaker 8: But real quick, before we move on, I just want

2160
01:41:32,760 --> 01:41:36,720
Speaker 8: to say, because I think there's a misconception or misunderstanding

2161
01:41:36,840 --> 01:41:39,719
Speaker 8: rather about charter schools.

2162
01:41:39,800 --> 01:41:42,519
Speaker 7: And I love what you said. There was nothing like that.

2163
01:41:42,960 --> 01:41:45,639
Speaker 8: And I know sometimes people say charter schools are trying

2164
01:41:45,640 --> 01:41:50,120
Speaker 8: to privatize education, and it gets real political. But I

2165
01:41:50,800 --> 01:41:54,000
Speaker 8: just think, and I'm not talking about every charter school,

2166
01:41:54,680 --> 01:41:57,120
Speaker 8: but I just want people to hear that there are

2167
01:41:57,320 --> 01:41:59,800
Speaker 8: a lot of good charter schools. That started with the

2168
01:42:00,160 --> 01:42:06,880
Speaker 8: tension of providing alternative options to failing schools in neighborhoods

2169
01:42:06,920 --> 01:42:11,280
Speaker 8: and communities that had been forgotten about and underserved, and

2170
01:42:11,320 --> 01:42:16,680
Speaker 8: no one was thinking about creating better options in a

2171
01:42:16,720 --> 01:42:21,320
Speaker 8: lot of our neighborhoods, and so not everybody gets it right.

2172
01:42:21,760 --> 01:42:24,960
Speaker 8: There are some bad charter schools, But I just want

2173
01:42:25,040 --> 01:42:28,280
Speaker 8: to celebrate those charter schools that are in those neighborhoods,

2174
01:42:28,280 --> 01:42:31,280
Speaker 8: serving our communities that have been forgotten about and who

2175
01:42:31,560 --> 01:42:33,799
Speaker 8: have the heart of what you said for our kids,

2176
01:42:33,840 --> 01:42:36,040
Speaker 8: because that's so important.

2177
01:42:36,360 --> 01:42:38,160
Speaker 2: So go ahead and read what's on those key to love.

2178
01:42:38,280 --> 01:42:39,080
Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing that.

2179
01:42:39,080 --> 01:42:42,160
Speaker 3: All right, you don't get me all passion should for

2180
01:42:42,240 --> 01:42:43,000
Speaker 3: charter school.

2181
01:42:44,640 --> 01:42:46,840
Speaker 1: She was talking. I was like, oh, she needs to

2182
01:42:47,320 --> 01:42:49,480
Speaker 1: go ahead and your education.

2183
01:42:50,600 --> 01:42:53,160
Speaker 7: It's near and dear to my heart, I have no

2184
01:42:53,280 --> 01:42:53,880
Speaker 7: free time.

2185
01:42:56,360 --> 01:42:59,719
Speaker 1: So I wrote the key. The key to a successful

2186
01:42:59,760 --> 01:43:02,280
Speaker 1: mayriorgriage is leading into each other's gifts.

2187
01:43:02,800 --> 01:43:03,479
Speaker 2: That's perfect.

2188
01:43:03,560 --> 01:43:05,799
Speaker 1: That's good because that's how our marriage is let.

2189
01:43:07,120 --> 01:43:10,160
Speaker 4: And I wrote, if you want to improve your marriage,

2190
01:43:10,439 --> 01:43:12,280
Speaker 4: improve yourself perfect.

2191
01:43:12,680 --> 01:43:16,120
Speaker 3: Well said, do you mind if c J c J

2192
01:43:16,280 --> 01:43:20,000
Speaker 3: makes a cameo he walking and walking here J hit

2193
01:43:20,080 --> 01:43:25,240
Speaker 3: camera four and walking here and wave after I can see.

2194
01:43:25,080 --> 01:43:27,439
Speaker 7: You with That's the whole time.

2195
01:43:28,160 --> 01:43:34,600
Speaker 4: You come on, buddy, come on, shy.

2196
01:43:33,880 --> 01:43:34,280
Speaker 1: Come on.

2197
01:43:34,520 --> 01:43:36,719
Speaker 7: A moment I said, I hope you didn't fall asleep.

2198
01:43:41,479 --> 01:43:53,160
Speaker 3: Look cool now yeah, your head off, listen, man, Thank

2199
01:43:53,240 --> 01:43:57,000
Speaker 3: y'all so much. Y'all did a fantastic job. How can

2200
01:43:57,000 --> 01:43:58,000
Speaker 3: people connect with y'all?

2201
01:43:58,720 --> 01:44:02,280
Speaker 4: So they can go to panic dot com spelled just

2202
01:44:02,320 --> 01:44:05,760
Speaker 4: like I said, Panda and commission. They can also go

2203
01:44:05,840 --> 01:44:10,280
Speaker 4: to our instagrams or Facebook. Actually I am I am

2204
01:44:10,400 --> 01:44:12,400
Speaker 4: Charles McGill on Facebook.

2205
01:44:12,600 --> 01:44:16,360
Speaker 1: And at missus john Cy across all platforms, across all

2206
01:44:16,360 --> 01:44:23,559
Speaker 1: platform Also check out our podcast because we're come sit

2207
01:44:26,560 --> 01:44:34,840
Speaker 1: entrepreneurship and hearty turn around about that Mike, he doesn't

2208
01:44:34,840 --> 01:44:40,680
Speaker 1: even understand. You don't know nothing about He wants to

2209
01:44:40,680 --> 01:44:41,360
Speaker 1: be a YouTuber.

2210
01:44:41,640 --> 01:44:45,160
Speaker 3: So yeah, so they've been so they drove here from

2211
01:44:45,280 --> 01:44:50,479
Speaker 3: Atlanta twelve hours yesterday's about twelve hours, right, twelve hours yesterday,

2212
01:44:50,960 --> 01:44:53,960
Speaker 3: and and they've been tugging it.

2213
01:44:54,000 --> 01:44:56,479
Speaker 2: They've been trying to see who can stay up the latest.

2214
01:44:57,560 --> 01:44:59,320
Speaker 1: I know they had a challenge.

2215
01:44:59,560 --> 01:44:59,880
Speaker 7: I don't.

2216
01:45:00,200 --> 01:45:03,160
Speaker 1: He woke me up at like four so and.

2217
01:45:03,040 --> 01:45:07,720
Speaker 7: Then he was sleepwalking right.

2218
01:45:09,640 --> 01:45:12,120
Speaker 2: Right up here. You don't realize you all on this camera.

2219
01:45:13,479 --> 01:45:17,040
Speaker 1: I wanted to also mention check out our podcast because

2220
01:45:17,520 --> 01:45:21,439
Speaker 1: you know, Charles is a great educator and one of

2221
01:45:21,439 --> 01:45:23,679
Speaker 1: the things that we wanted to do is educate more

2222
01:45:23,680 --> 01:45:27,040
Speaker 1: people about branding. So if you go to YouTube, it's

2223
01:45:27,200 --> 01:45:31,400
Speaker 1: brand Currency and you can just learn a little bit

2224
01:45:31,400 --> 01:45:34,599
Speaker 1: more about what a successful brand takes.

2225
01:45:34,720 --> 01:45:38,080
Speaker 3: Good good. It's also available on Apple podcasts and everywhere

2226
01:45:38,080 --> 01:45:39,320
Speaker 3: you listen to your audio path.

2227
01:45:39,640 --> 01:45:43,880
Speaker 2: Yes so good, good Malcolm.

2228
01:45:43,560 --> 01:45:45,280
Speaker 1: Malcolm, say hi to everybody.

2229
01:45:46,600 --> 01:45:50,599
Speaker 2: All right, go back, just go back to sleep. You good,

2230
01:45:50,600 --> 01:45:51,360
Speaker 2: it's your show.

2231
01:45:51,920 --> 01:45:55,280
Speaker 1: You never had any kids on with their parents.

2232
01:45:54,400 --> 01:45:59,360
Speaker 3: The first time my grand baby, my grand baby Claire,

2233
01:46:00,160 --> 01:46:02,519
Speaker 3: I mean well last week since we recorded this will

2234
01:46:02,520 --> 01:46:06,719
Speaker 3: probably airing about three weeks. But yeah, it was first

2235
01:46:06,720 --> 01:46:11,080
Speaker 3: time have my little brand baby and I had it

2236
01:46:11,120 --> 01:46:14,240
Speaker 3: was a daughter in season two or three or something.

2237
01:46:15,520 --> 01:46:17,280
Speaker 3: Thing came off a little bit and walked off as

2238
01:46:17,280 --> 01:46:21,000
Speaker 3: a single father and he married. Now, but I was like, hey,

2239
01:46:21,760 --> 01:46:24,120
Speaker 3: package deal, I think that was the named episode package

2240
01:46:24,160 --> 01:46:24,719
Speaker 3: Deal or something.

2241
01:46:25,479 --> 01:46:26,880
Speaker 2: But listen, thank y'all so much.

2242
01:46:26,960 --> 01:46:29,559
Speaker 3: Make sure y'all go out and go to a YouTube

2243
01:46:29,680 --> 01:46:32,200
Speaker 3: channel and support their podcast.

2244
01:46:32,280 --> 01:46:33,160
Speaker 2: Brand Currency.

2245
01:46:33,600 --> 01:46:36,479
Speaker 3: It's available everywhere you listen to your favorite podcast, So

2246
01:46:36,640 --> 01:46:40,120
Speaker 3: make sure that y'all subscribed to their channel and listen.

2247
01:46:40,200 --> 01:46:41,840
Speaker 3: I just want to just thank y'all for the work

2248
01:46:41,840 --> 01:46:46,200
Speaker 3: that y'all been doing. Building business is great, but building

2249
01:46:46,200 --> 01:46:49,600
Speaker 3: the family is even greater. And so ask and I

2250
01:46:49,720 --> 01:46:53,920
Speaker 3: salute you. I'm being intentional about this word family and

2251
01:46:53,960 --> 01:46:57,640
Speaker 3: the importance of family, and so salute to y'all. So

2252
01:46:57,800 --> 01:47:00,439
Speaker 3: may the love you shared today outlived the sea year in,

2253
01:47:01,040 --> 01:47:01,920
Speaker 3: may carry.

2254
01:47:01,640 --> 01:47:03,639
Speaker 7: You through the days when words are.

2255
01:47:03,560 --> 01:47:06,479
Speaker 2: Few and faith has to do the talking. Y'all give

2256
01:47:06,520 --> 01:47:09,360
Speaker 2: it up for the mcgills, y'all. You do, so, thank y'all.

2257
01:47:10,400 --> 01:47:15,920
Speaker 3: Ladarian rusted suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen.

2258
01:47:16,160 --> 01:47:18,800
Speaker 2: My nephew, black a boy.

2259
01:47:19,400 --> 01:47:24,439
Speaker 3: The likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship, slim to none. Rmione,

2260
01:47:25,200 --> 01:47:29,240
Speaker 3: sixteen years old, black a boy with five years in

2261
01:47:29,280 --> 01:47:31,679
Speaker 3: the false care system before I even knew his name.

2262
01:47:32,479 --> 01:47:34,480
Speaker 3: The likelihood have ever been adopted?

2263
01:47:35,400 --> 01:47:37,840
Speaker 2: Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.

2264
01:47:39,320 --> 01:47:42,320
Speaker 3: While Ladarian and OURMIONI were trying to survive and barely

2265
01:47:42,400 --> 01:47:45,840
Speaker 3: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system, I

2266
01:47:45,920 --> 01:47:49,240
Speaker 3: was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been

2267
01:47:49,280 --> 01:47:51,479
Speaker 3: a single father with a daughter who at that point

2268
01:47:51,520 --> 01:47:53,920
Speaker 3: was doing well in college. It was my time to

2269
01:47:53,960 --> 01:47:54,800
Speaker 3: live my life right.

2270
01:47:55,880 --> 01:47:56,160
Speaker 5: Wrong.

2271
01:47:57,240 --> 01:48:03,080
Speaker 3: I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just two many

2272
01:48:03,240 --> 01:48:06,680
Speaker 3: of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the

2273
01:48:06,760 --> 01:48:10,160
Speaker 3: limbo of the Falter care system. In twenty seventeen, I

2274
01:48:10,240 --> 01:48:14,160
Speaker 3: legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

2275
01:48:14,200 --> 01:48:16,360
Speaker 3: I had no ties to this other young king, but

2276
01:48:16,400 --> 01:48:19,000
Speaker 3: I felt God instructed me to adopt them also, and

2277
01:48:19,040 --> 01:48:23,120
Speaker 3: I o bate. Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right,

2278
01:48:23,200 --> 01:48:25,960
Speaker 3: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

2279
01:48:26,000 --> 01:48:29,080
Speaker 3: bring awareness to the countless young Black kings and the

2280
01:48:29,120 --> 01:48:32,200
Speaker 3: Falster care system should have decreased my agitation.

2281
01:48:32,360 --> 01:48:32,559
Speaker 2: Right.

2282
01:48:33,280 --> 01:48:35,880
Speaker 3: Joining the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and

2283
01:48:36,080 --> 01:48:39,560
Speaker 3: organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in

2284
01:48:39,600 --> 01:48:42,160
Speaker 3: false care should have led to some type of resolve.

2285
01:48:42,240 --> 01:48:42,439
Speaker 2: Right.

2286
01:48:42,840 --> 01:48:46,920
Speaker 3: No, not at all. None of it felt like I

2287
01:48:47,000 --> 01:48:51,559
Speaker 3: had done enough. I now realized that every one of

2288
01:48:51,560 --> 01:48:55,759
Speaker 3: those experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

2289
01:48:56,680 --> 01:48:59,080
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal, Kingdom.

2290
01:48:58,840 --> 01:49:00,840
Speaker 3: Royal would be a lucky to re state of the

2291
01:49:00,960 --> 01:49:04,240
Speaker 3: art home for foster boys. Our first location will be

2292
01:49:04,280 --> 01:49:07,400
Speaker 3: in the Dallas Fortward Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

2293
01:49:07,439 --> 01:49:12,120
Speaker 3: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

2294
01:49:12,280 --> 01:49:16,479
Speaker 3: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that

2295
01:49:16,520 --> 01:49:21,120
Speaker 3: they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings will attend

2296
01:49:21,120 --> 01:49:23,800
Speaker 3: the local public schools that are in proximity the King

2297
01:49:23,880 --> 01:49:27,720
Speaker 3: of Royale, our at home curriculum will broaden their worldview

2298
01:49:27,720 --> 01:49:31,719
Speaker 3: through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events, learning

2299
01:49:31,760 --> 01:49:35,960
Speaker 3: about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and

2300
01:49:36,040 --> 01:49:40,720
Speaker 3: even relevant historical contexts, introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

2301
01:49:40,800 --> 01:49:44,080
Speaker 3: and even caring for our animals on our form and

2302
01:49:44,200 --> 01:49:48,599
Speaker 3: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

2303
01:49:48,800 --> 01:49:51,000
Speaker 3: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

2304
01:49:51,000 --> 01:49:52,479
Speaker 3: Now why two point eight million dollars?

2305
01:49:53,280 --> 01:49:53,439
Speaker 2: Well.

2306
01:49:53,479 --> 01:49:55,840
Speaker 3: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

2307
01:49:55,880 --> 01:49:59,799
Speaker 3: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

2308
01:50:00,080 --> 01:50:02,320
Speaker 3: One of the most notable successes was that one of

2309
01:50:02,320 --> 01:50:06,719
Speaker 3: the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views.

2310
01:50:07,160 --> 01:50:08,280
Speaker 2: However, one of.

2311
01:50:08,200 --> 01:50:10,639
Speaker 3: My biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single

2312
01:50:10,720 --> 01:50:14,000
Speaker 3: dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for

2313
01:50:14,040 --> 01:50:18,639
Speaker 3: the homeless community. So throughout the years, with much remorse,

2314
01:50:19,080 --> 01:50:21,960
Speaker 3: I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment. I knew

2315
01:50:22,160 --> 01:50:24,920
Speaker 3: if at that time just ten percent of the viewers

2316
01:50:24,960 --> 01:50:28,360
Speaker 3: donated one dollar, we would have raised at least two

2317
01:50:28,360 --> 01:50:31,760
Speaker 3: point eight million dollars that could have really established long

2318
01:50:31,840 --> 01:50:35,040
Speaker 3: term support for the homeless community, or at least started

2319
01:50:35,080 --> 01:50:38,960
Speaker 3: a long term initiative to do so. This is my

2320
01:50:39,080 --> 01:50:43,200
Speaker 3: do over, this is our new beginning. Together, we can

2321
01:50:43,240 --> 01:50:47,160
Speaker 3: attack this at the route by specifically helping our homeless

2322
01:50:47,200 --> 01:50:51,839
Speaker 3: Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the American

2323
01:50:51,840 --> 01:50:55,800
Speaker 3: fossil care system. I'm the Terra Sarwickfield. I've been nominated

2324
01:50:55,840 --> 01:50:58,879
Speaker 3: for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless

2325
01:50:59,000 --> 01:51:02,920
Speaker 3: as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

2326
01:51:03,520 --> 01:51:07,800
Speaker 3: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

2327
01:51:08,040 --> 01:51:13,160
Speaker 3: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more details,

2328
01:51:13,720 --> 01:51:24,120
Speaker 3: Crown a king and make a donation today. I hope

2329
01:51:24,160 --> 01:51:26,919
Speaker 3: you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI Podcast.

2330
01:51:27,040 --> 01:51:32,559
Speaker 3: Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving.

2331
01:51:33,000 --> 01:51:35,320
Speaker 3: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife you

2332
01:51:35,320 --> 01:51:39,160
Speaker 3: YouTube channels. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify,

2333
01:51:39,200 --> 01:51:39,719
Speaker 3: and Stitcher.

2334
01:51:39,960 --> 01:51:42,800
Speaker 2: You welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts with your

2335
01:51:42,800 --> 01:51:43,519
Speaker 2: friends and family.