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Speaker 1: For the first time in my life. I made the

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Speaker 1: decision to have seen I would hear other people doing it,

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Speaker 1: and I would say, that looks good, But I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I really want to do that right. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know if you really have to do that.

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Speaker 2: I love the fact that he has the wherewithal to

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Speaker 2: know that had he gotten married before, he would have

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Speaker 2: been married.

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Speaker 3: But he wasn't going to be faithful.

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Speaker 1: I said all that. I didn't say that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: going to be faithful. Things could I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't seen it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: What's put in perspective?

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Speaker 2: How often are you going out of three hundred and

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Speaker 2: sixty five days in a year.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to cheer about one to three times a month.

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Speaker 3: So how does that work in balance in a relationship?

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Speaker 1: They have to take a liking to travel, like it's

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Speaker 1: just not going to work if they don't like to travel.

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Speaker 2: Introduce people that may not know who you are or

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Speaker 2: what you do, and they say, how does he do traveling?

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Speaker 3: How does he get paid? How does that even work?

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Speaker 1: Explain that the premise of my platform is telling untold

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Speaker 1: stories around the world, something that I was already doing

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Speaker 1: for free. Yes, I'm getting paid for. Once I got

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Speaker 1: that check, I said, I need to double down on this.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so you fulfilled career? Are you fulfilled from relationship standpoint?

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Speaker 1: You know, relationships wasn't easy for me, but I was

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Speaker 1: always a relationship type of person.

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Speaker 3: Have you always been marriage minded? Well, let me ask you.

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Speaker 3: I an't want to assume. Are you marriage minded?

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Speaker 1: I am for sure?

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Speaker 3: Have you always been like that?

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Speaker 1: I was always marriage minded, but I wasn't always intentionally

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Speaker 1: dating for marriage.

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Speaker 3: If that makes sense, don't break it down.

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Speaker 1: I knew I always wanted to be married eventually, but

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Speaker 1: I really didn't know how to date to marry, and

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Speaker 1: I wasn't around many people that were doing it.

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Speaker 3: You went through a great journey in your faith.

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Speaker 1: It's something about a break of that ringing closer to God.

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Speaker 1: What's the definition of sanity doing the same thing? If

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Speaker 1: my goal is to really eventually be gone married, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I gotta do something different.

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Speaker 4: So you're thirty eight in an ideal world, when would

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Speaker 4: you be married?

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Speaker 2: What's started as a search for understanding became a journey

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Speaker 2: of transformation. Every letter that I wrote led me to

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Speaker 2: this day. The day I got married November twenty second,

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 5: Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how

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Speaker 5: long I'll love you. Those lyrics echo through every fiber

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Speaker 5: of my soul at the very thought of you.

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Speaker 2: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 2: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 2: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

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Speaker 2: of growth, healing, and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 5: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 5: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 2: This isn't just our story, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 2: I'm a Terisaur Whitfield.

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Speaker 6: And I'm Ashley are right.

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Speaker 5: Welcome to the Theater Wifey's podcast.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the Dear Future Wifey Podcast. I'm your host,

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Speaker 2: the terras Ar Whitfield.

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Speaker 7: And I'm Ashley our Whitfield.

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Speaker 3: Listen. Are you still shacking up with us? Come on?

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Speaker 2: If you're still shacking up with us, can we get

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Speaker 2: a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure

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Speaker 2: you turn on your notification bell so you be notified

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Speaker 2: about upcoming episodes and those that's listening to us on Spotify,

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Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts. Make sure that you subscribe on those platforms

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Speaker 2: so you'll be notified as soon as we release upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 2: Have y'all gotten the book Student of Love? If you

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Speaker 2: haven't gotten the book Student of Love, let me tell

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Speaker 2: you you're missing out. This book will truly transform your life.

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Speaker 2: Always say love isn't about finding the right person, It's

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Speaker 2: about becoming the right person. So get Student of Love

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Speaker 2: to aid you on your love journey. Well, today's episode,

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Speaker 2: I'm really looking forward to this king. I met him

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Speaker 2: probably about five years ago while I was producing a

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Speaker 2: podcast for Lady Jay out to her. I used to

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Speaker 2: produce her podcast, and I met this king. He was

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Speaker 2: doing airbnb businesses. He was he's always gotten his hands

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Speaker 2: in something entrepreneur. But now we're going to talk to

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Speaker 2: him about all.

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Speaker 3: Things love and relationships.

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Speaker 2: So I'm gonna get him out of his element and

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Speaker 2: hopefully he'll be extremely vulnerable and transparent with us. So,

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Speaker 2: without further ado, Welcome to Dear Future WIFEI podcast. My

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Speaker 2: homie Camoy Martin is in the building.

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Speaker 6: What's going on?

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Speaker 5: King?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, my brother, how dream man? I'm glad to

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Speaker 1: be here.

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Speaker 3: Are you are?

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Speaker 2: You nervous, I said, you know, you normally talk about

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Speaker 2: professional stuff. You talk about traveling, tourism, you talk about

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Speaker 2: you still have your airbnb business.

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Speaker 3: Okay, what happened?

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Speaker 1: I just number one the market that I was in,

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Speaker 1: which was Baltimore. There were just some shifts that I

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Speaker 1: didn't really like, and I just lost desire for the business,

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Speaker 1: to be honest.

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Speaker 2: On top of that, you were teaching airbnb business right,

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Speaker 2: whole course and everything, right, yep?

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Speaker 3: How long did you do that?

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Speaker 1: A couple of years? I want to say, maybe, like

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Speaker 1: maybe like three years.

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Speaker 3: Was it very profitable at the time?

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Speaker 1: For sure?

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Speaker 3: It was it hard for you to walk away from it?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, But the thing is I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: continue to teach something that I wasn't actively doing it.

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Speaker 1: I just had to step away from.

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Speaker 3: So you got some integrity, huh.

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Speaker 2: A little bit. I don't want to teach what I'm

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Speaker 2: not practicing. I want to practice what.

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Speaker 3: You preach, for sure. So listen, man.

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Speaker 2: A lot of people watch the podcast, A lot of

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Speaker 2: women watch the podcast, and when they see a guy,

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Speaker 2: they've probably been following you on social media.

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Speaker 3: You boast a social.

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Speaker 2: Media following combined of over three and what three and

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Speaker 2: a half million followers, give a take, give a take,

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Speaker 2: and they see you traveling the world, and you know,

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Speaker 2: they don't see a woman by your side, and so

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Speaker 2: a lot of them may be like, is he single?

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Speaker 2: Was his relationship status? Do I have a chance to

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Speaker 2: shoot my shot with old kamoy? What would you like

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Speaker 2: to say about that?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, throughout the years I've I wasn't always

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Speaker 1: traveling alone. Okay, you know, but I am currently in

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Speaker 1: a relationship, you know, so I'm not travel by myself.

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Speaker 3: Don't try by yourself? How does that feel?

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Speaker 2: That bounce a relationship with you traveling like that? As

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Speaker 2: a as a profession, like this is what you do

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Speaker 2: for a living, You're going a lot, right, Well.

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Speaker 3: What's put in perspective?

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Speaker 2: How often are you going out of three hundred and

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Speaker 2: sixty five days in a year.

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Speaker 1: I don't know the exact days, but I would say

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Speaker 1: I'm probably go on to at least go on to

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Speaker 1: trip about one to three times a month, one or

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Speaker 1: three times a month, average a month to three.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, And how long is each trimp?

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Speaker 1: It varies? You know, a trip could be two weeks,

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Speaker 1: it could be five days, It could be about that.

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Speaker 3: So more than half the year you're gone? How about that? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: So how does that work in bouncing a relationship?

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Speaker 1: Well, I will say the anytime I'm I'm dating a woman,

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Speaker 1: they have to take a liking to travel. Like it's

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Speaker 1: just not gonna work if they don't like to travel, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for sure?

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Speaker 3: But do you find that most women do like to travel?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I often hear like women complain that, you know,

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Speaker 1: men don't like to travel as much as they do,

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Speaker 1: and you know they don't start traveling until they get

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Speaker 1: with them type of things.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, so you already knew that that had to

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Speaker 2: be the purpose. You have to be purpose partners where

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Speaker 2: y'all both have to travel for.

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Speaker 1: Sure, and they have to be okay with me because

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Speaker 1: I don't just travel just for the sake of traveling.

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Speaker 1: You know, I have built a business around traveling. So

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Speaker 1: they also have to be okay with the business side

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Speaker 1: and the content creation side and filming with me traveling

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Speaker 1: as well.

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Speaker 3: Explain that.

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Speaker 2: So, introduce people that may not know who you are

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Speaker 2: or what you do, and they say, how does he

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Speaker 2: do traveling?

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Speaker 3: How does he get paid? How does that even work? Right?

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Speaker 3: Explain that?

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Speaker 1: So I'm a world traveler. I create travel films, right, documentaries,

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Speaker 1: and create content you know, for brands and hotels and

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Speaker 1: tours and boards and things that nature.

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Speaker 3: And you've been doing this so how long.

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Speaker 1: About four years?

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Speaker 3: And how'd you get into it? You know?

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Speaker 1: So I was just so I've been traveling probably since

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Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, just out of peer love and leisure and honestly,

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Speaker 1: like I became an entrepreneur. I quit my job August second,

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Speaker 1: twenty thirteen because number one, I knew that I had

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Speaker 1: to be an entrepreneur, right, Like I want to be free.

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Speaker 1: But a part of that is because I want to

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Speaker 1: travel and I love travel so much. Where I was like,

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Speaker 1: I have to become an entrepreneur so I could be

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Speaker 1: free to travel.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: So I've been traveling full time since twenty thirteen, and

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Speaker 1: I was just traveling. I would post content and with

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Speaker 1: my other businesses, I would leverage travel for like marketing

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Speaker 1: purposes and things like nature. And then I have a friend,

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Speaker 1: Tanya shot out to Tanya, she was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: she was doing brand deals in the finance space, and

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Speaker 1: she was like, you know, come on, like you should

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Speaker 1: like think about like the business side of content creation

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Speaker 1: and work with brands and I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: that'd be cool. It's just I just never really thought

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Speaker 1: about it. I know how to get and got into it.

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Speaker 1: So I end up going to a travel conference. I

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Speaker 1: don't if you know Terry, Uh yes, yes, so Terry.

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Speaker 1: So I'm on the gram. I see Terry at this

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Speaker 1: conference called travel con and I'm like, yo, I think

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Speaker 1: I wrote in her comments like I should be there,

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Speaker 1: and then Terry shoot me adm DM. She's like, yeah

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Speaker 1: you should. I got a ticket for you. Pull up mine.

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Speaker 1: She's already at the event, and I think, like the

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Speaker 1: next day, I jumped on the plane and I was

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Speaker 1: at the conference. And that's just how I am, right,

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Speaker 1: you know. It's like like yeah, So I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm at the conference. I'm listening to the speakers. I'm

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Speaker 1: seeing people that are seasoned travel creators with millions of

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Speaker 1: followers making six figures and seven figures, and I'm hearing

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Speaker 1: their stories. I'm having these side conversations about what they're doing,

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Speaker 1: how they're doing it, and I'm inspired right like for me,

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Speaker 1: like I'm the type of person like if I hear

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Speaker 1: something and it's like something like a direction I want

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Speaker 1: to go, or like I can't slow, I can't stop.

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Speaker 1: So now like I'm I'm hype, I'm throughout the whole event.

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Speaker 1: I'm just taking it all in. I'm like, I know,

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Speaker 1: after this event, I got to get cooking and I

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Speaker 1: met someone I was in charge of marketing for a

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Speaker 1: destination which was Memphis Memphis Tourism, and I kind of

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Speaker 1: pitched myself like, hey, you know, I create travel content

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Speaker 1: and I'd love to work with you. And they're like, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: we like your content, you know, let's exchange information. And

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Speaker 1: within like a month later, Theory shout out to me

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Speaker 1: and they're like, hey, we want to work with you,

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Speaker 1: Like we want to pay you to talk about our destination.

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Speaker 3: Well, how many files did you have at that time?

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Speaker 1: Around one hundred thousand, so you still had a good

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Speaker 1: file when you started off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, how did you get one hundred thousand followers? What

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Speaker 4: were you talking about before travel?

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Speaker 1: So I was talking a lot about travel, But what

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Speaker 1: really like boosted me to a hundred thousand was me

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Speaker 1: going to speakeasies, like like secret bars, and like I

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Speaker 1: had posted one video about me going to a speakeasy

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Speaker 1: and it went crazy. I think that was like my

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Speaker 1: first viral video. So I made like a series and

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Speaker 1: I literally end up going to like fifty plus speakeasis

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Speaker 1: in the world. So anytime I wout travel the place,

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Speaker 1: I would look for speakeasys, so like it'd be like Argentina.

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Speaker 1: It could be, it could be. It don't even matter.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just like posting the easy content and I'm

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Speaker 1: just going it's just going crazy and crazy and crazier. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was a different Niche like, yeah, yeah, I had

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Speaker 1: no idea. I don't even drink anymore now, but yeah.

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Speaker 2: Start going viral, all right, continue, so you said, then,

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Speaker 2: so it was a Memphis tourism board that first put

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Speaker 2: you on.

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Speaker 1: Yep, they put me on, and you know, went out there.

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Speaker 1: I had a great time before that, had never really

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Speaker 1: explored Memphis. I was like, this is a really dope city.

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Speaker 1: But on top of that, it was the fact that

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Speaker 1: I got paid, Like I got paid a decent amount

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Speaker 1: of money, thousands of dollars to talk about a place,

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Speaker 1: something that I was already doing for free. Yes, I'm

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Speaker 1: getting paid for it. Once I got that check, I

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Speaker 1: still got I think I still got a copy of

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Speaker 1: that ship said, I said, Oh, like this is real.

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Speaker 1: I need to double down on this. Yes, and then

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Speaker 1: I just reached out to more brands, I go to

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Speaker 1: more conferences, and I just look, I took a lot

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Speaker 1: more time to learn about the business side of content

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Speaker 1: creation and the business side of creating content in a

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Speaker 1: way that can build a brand around it.

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Speaker 2: How long did it take. Did you have to take

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Speaker 2: a course for that or go to conferences or what

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Speaker 2: did you just do to learn the business side of it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I definitely read books, definitely went to conferences,

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Speaker 1: found coaches, joined masterminds.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: People don't know the masterminds being special. So so you

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Speaker 2: you was dropping ten thousand and fifteen and twenty thousand

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Speaker 2: on these masterminds.

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Speaker 1: My first mastermind was thirty k And I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to lie to you like I was scared. I don't

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Speaker 1: blame you know, I was scared. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: was scared. But that that's when I changed my life

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Speaker 1: and I made that money back within a couple of months,

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Speaker 1: and that's when I really learned my mentor Neo, He's like, yo,

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Speaker 1: the more you invest, it's like the more you're going

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Speaker 1: to take action. Because it was just like I'm heavily invested,

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Speaker 1: so I need to get this bread back. Absolutely, So

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Speaker 1: I went to work and that's when I learned I cool, like,

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Speaker 1: you gotta stop playing playing small because when you play small,

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Speaker 1: you work small, you get small. So yeah, so when.

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Speaker 2: You look back at that, you said that you just

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Speaker 2: wasn't fit to work in corporate America.

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Speaker 3: You just knew you had to be an entrepreneur. Why

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Speaker 3: is that? Why did you know that?

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Speaker 2: Are you just you just don't like taking direction from

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Speaker 2: people or you feel like God had a bigger call

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Speaker 2: of your life.

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Speaker 3: Which is it?

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Speaker 1: You know what's funny? So after I graduated college, I

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Speaker 1: was trying to apply for jobs my field. Nobody was

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Speaker 1: hiring me.

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Speaker 3: What was that?

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Speaker 1: Got agree in biology? A Bachelor's of Bology, and I

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Speaker 1: saw her getting my mind. I was working on my

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Speaker 1: MATTERSS in public health and again I got kicked out

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Speaker 1: the program. I never took school serious. I always see

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Speaker 1: the bare minimum. I was a professional SEA student. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's a professional se student, did just enough to pass

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Speaker 1: for the first time in my life. Getting when you

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Speaker 1: go to grad school, that doesn't work. Yep, that's what

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Speaker 1: it don't work. You gotta at least have a being up.

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Speaker 1: And obviously I'm in this new arena. But I have

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Speaker 1: the same habits and the same mindset on schools.

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Speaker 6: So where'd you go for undergrad?

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Speaker 1: Morgas University, Bears and so and so you said you

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Speaker 1: knew that you had to be an entrepreneur.

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Speaker 2: And so when you look back over your life now

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Speaker 2: getting a chance to live the life of your dreams,

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Speaker 2: are you fulfilled?

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Speaker 7: For sure?

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Speaker 2: So you fulfilled career? Are you fulfilled? From relationships standpoint?

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm definitely starting to get back in

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Speaker 1: that place for sure.

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Speaker 3: Explain that journey.

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Speaker 1: So, you know, relationships wasn't easy for me. It just

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Speaker 1: it just wasn't. But I was always a relationship type

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Speaker 1: of person, right, So.

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Speaker 3: You were just you.

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Speaker 2: You You were the type that wanted to be in

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Speaker 2: committed relationships.

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Speaker 3: Sure, you've been in law. What's the longest relationship you

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Speaker 3: ever been in? How years?

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Speaker 1: Seven years?

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Speaker 2: Seven years? Was that in your in your recent years?

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Speaker 2: Your thirty eight?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And so was that in your thirties or was that

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Speaker 3: in your twenties twenties? Twenties?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's start in college.

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Speaker 3: Have you always been marriage minded? Well, let me ask you.

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Speaker 3: I alln't want to assume are you marriage minded?

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Speaker 1: I am for sure.

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Speaker 3: Have you always been like that?

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Speaker 1: Yes? I was always marriage minded, but I don't I

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Speaker 1: wasn't always intentionally dating for marriage, if that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Don't break it down like I knew I always wanted

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Speaker 1: to be married eventually, right, but I really didn't know

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Speaker 1: how to date to marry. Yeah, I just and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't around many people that were doing it.

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Speaker 2: Right, So you know, you know that's important because you

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Speaker 2: hit a key point. We can go take masterminds on

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Speaker 2: business whateverything that we desire to do from an entrepreneurs standpoint,

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Speaker 2: we'll invest thirty thousand, fifteen, twenty thousand and becoming.

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Speaker 3: The best in that field. Right.

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Speaker 2: Ain't nobody trying to get no coach to ain't no

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Speaker 2: man time. I'm finna find a coach to help me

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Speaker 2: become a husband, right. No one does that. And so

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Speaker 2: my question to you is that you said that you

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Speaker 2: were marriage minded desiring marriage at some point in life,

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Speaker 2: but wasn't dating with intentionality that you already have a

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Speaker 2: thought in your mind that I ain't gonna get married

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Speaker 2: in my twenties, probably about in my forties. Did you

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Speaker 2: even map it out like that or were you just

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Speaker 2: casually just going through life seeing what happens.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I didn't really have a mapped out like that.

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Speaker 1: It was just casually going through it right, like I

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Speaker 1: was going off just like guess the feelings.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 4: And you mentioned not having like a role model to

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Speaker 4: kind of learn about love and how do you get

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Speaker 4: to marriage? Were there any or are there any men

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Speaker 4: in your life now where you can say like, oh,

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Speaker 4: this is how I can go about making that happen

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Speaker 4: in my own life or do you still feel like

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Speaker 4: that's a space where you're looking for guidance today?

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Speaker 1: I definitely have more examples, for sure. Some of my

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Speaker 1: closest friends are very happy and healthy marriages.

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Speaker 7: Do you feel like that's important?

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Speaker 1: For sure?

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Speaker 2: Sure?

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Speaker 1: Man, Like you're a product of your environment, right, and

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Speaker 1: it's just no one is above that. It doesn't matter

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Speaker 1: how strong willed you think you are, Like, we are

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Speaker 1: creatures of our environment, and it's just there's just certain

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Speaker 1: fundamentals that we learn from the people around us. It's

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Speaker 1: just the possibility of things become more real we're around it.

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Speaker 1: When you see people actually enjoy marriage around you, it

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Speaker 1: gives you something to actually look forward to, because if

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Speaker 1: you never see that.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I remember having a conversation with somebody and we're having

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Speaker 1: a real conversation about like marriage and kids, and he

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Speaker 1: was like, yo, bro, like I've never seen a happy marriage.

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Speaker 1: He's never seen it.

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Speaker 3: Yep.

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Speaker 1: So for him, marriage is not in the vision right

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Speaker 1: and it's not something he's excited pursuing, you know, excitingly pursuing.

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Speaker 1: He's not around it. So for sure, it's definitely important

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Speaker 1: to be around.

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Speaker 2: You went through a great journey of in your faith.

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Speaker 2: You're you're a man of faith, explained to me. Explain

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Speaker 2: to our audience the journey that you've gone through in

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Speaker 2: the last few months of really being intentional about your

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Speaker 2: walk with God.

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Speaker 1: So I would say, after my last breakup, it's something

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Speaker 1: about a breakup that ringing closer to God. But after

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Speaker 1: my last breakup, you know, was going to therapy, it

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Speaker 1: was getting you know, just kind of wanting seeking a

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Speaker 1: closer relationship with God, you know, going to church more,

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Speaker 1: start reading the Bible, like actually, like really start reading

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Speaker 1: the Bible like last year, like first time in my life.

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Speaker 1: And that like that combination of things really started changing

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Speaker 1: the game for me in terms of how I looked

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Speaker 1: at relationships, how I looked at women, how I looked

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Speaker 1: at just my life as a whole, my purpose, my visions.

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Speaker 7: What did you learn from reading?

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Speaker 1: I just need to be a lot more intentional. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I was just I was just kind of

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Speaker 1: going with the flow. I was just kind of going

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Speaker 1: off of feeling and there was just really no purpose.

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Speaker 1: There wasn't really no like, it just wasn't intentional. And

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Speaker 1: with anything in life, you have to be intentional, especially relationships.

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Speaker 1: So I had to make some really like major adjustments.

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Speaker 3: Was that hard?

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Speaker 1: No, because I think because of I guess the what

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Speaker 1: comes after a breakup your things I experienced, like emotionally,

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Speaker 1: it just made it easier for me want to change

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Speaker 1: because the thing is, you know, what's the definition in Sandy.

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Speaker 3: Doing the same thing?

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: So it's like I felt like, listen, if I'm going

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Speaker 1: to have another relationship, if my goal is to really

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Speaker 1: eventually be gonne married, I gotta do something different, right,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't like playing to lose, Like at some

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Speaker 1: point like like I gotta grow up, you know, I

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Speaker 1: got I gotta do this differently. So it's like I

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Speaker 1: gotta start seeking information. I gotta start learning from the

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Speaker 1: right places. I gotta you know, obviously, the Bible is

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Speaker 1: the best place. I gotta start really being a lot

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Speaker 1: more mindful about that area of my life.

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Speaker 7: That's good.

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00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 3: And so your breakup, that relationship lasted for how long?

446
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 3: Four years? Yeah?

447
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 2: By four years and four years, and so the good

448
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 2: thing about you is that you didn't let bitterness cause

449
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 2: you to be stagnant. What happens a lot of times

450
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 2: when men go through breakups, they'd be like, forget it.

451
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 3: I ain't never giving my heart to another woman.

452
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 2: I'm good. Relationships don't work out. I've tried it. Seven years,

453
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 2: didn't work, four years didn't work. I'm not afraid of

454
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,720
Speaker 2: commitment on that level. It just doesn't work. So I'm done.

455
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 2: I'm for the streets. What made you not take that

456
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:13,640
Speaker 2: ideology and choosing to lean into the word of God?

457
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,120
Speaker 1: I just need one example. I just need to see

458
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: some work once. That's like me starting a business. It

459
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 1: don't work, and now I'm like, I'm gonna quit entrepreneurship. No,

460
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 1: if I see one person win and succeed in business,

461
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: I can win. If I see one person, you know,

462
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,920
Speaker 1: a couple succeed in marriage and have a happy and

463
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: healthy marriage, like it's possible. Right, Like, just because it

464
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,160
Speaker 1: didn't work out here doesn't mean it's never gonna work out.

465
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 1: I just gotta try again.

466
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 6: Who's that couple that you saw succeed shout them about

467
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 6: right now?

468
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 1: There's there's there's a couple of good I mean my

469
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,120
Speaker 1: good friends, Imaeus and Nikki. Uh, we go way back.

470
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 1: I met them in college, some of good friends. You know,

471
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: they're happy and healthy married they did. And Morgan also,

472
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 1: Tone and Jess also they met in college. Just my

473
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: line brother, I've seen him go from listen, he had

474
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 1: some rough, rough, rough beginnings, but now he's like the Huxtables,

475
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. He's a lawyer. You know,

476
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 1: his wife just became like you know, got her doctor

477
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 1: and it's like they got happy, healthy kids. Like I've

478
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 1: seen what they've built and become.

479
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 2: I like that, And I'm glad Astley asked you to

480
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 2: do that because a lot of times people may not

481
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 2: know that they're being impactful in your life and influential

482
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 2: in your life. And they'd be like, well, you ain't

483
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,959
Speaker 2: never said that. I never knew that word modeling. What

484
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 2: is helping to heal you? And so we have to

485
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 2: always know that we always hear when you're growing up,

486
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 2: you're wear the hands and feet of Jesus. But we're

487
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 2: also helping people to see what Jesus looks like in

488
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:50,120
Speaker 2: different aspects of life. So from a relationship standpoint, it's like, Okay,

489
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 2: so I remember when he used to be and now

490
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 2: he's this. Yeah, what was the change? You know what

491
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 2: I'm saying. And the more you start deep diving into it,

492
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 2: you go, oh, this is the it's real. God is transformative. Okay,

493
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 2: So if he can do it for them, he can

494
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 2: do it for me. And so that's interesting. I'm glad

495
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,160
Speaker 2: that you actually said that. So what were some things

496
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 2: that you had to change in this relationship that you

497
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 2: didn't do in the past.

498
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:21,639
Speaker 1: Well, prior to getting into the relationship. Relationship I'm in now,

499
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: I made a decision to abstain, and for the first

500
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 1: time in my life, I made the decision tipstain. And

501
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 1: I would hear other people doing it. I'll see it online.

502
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 1: I'll you know, obviously I'm reading the Bible every now

503
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: and then, and I would say that looks good but

504
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: for me, But I don't know if I really want

505
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 1: to do that, right, I don't even know if you

506
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 1: really have to do that, right, Like I never judge

507
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 1: other people doing it, but I just never really made

508
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:58,959
Speaker 1: the decision for myself. So for the first time I live,

509
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: I just said I'm gonna Ustan And also too, I

510
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: was listening to the Servant sermon online from his brother,

511
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: pastor Pastor Brian from Union Charlotte, and he had said, listen,

512
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: He's like, if you're dating someone and if you don't

513
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 1: see the possibility of marriage, you need to let it go.

514
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 1: You need to cut it off. And he just built

515
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 1: this this whole sermon around just about intentionally dating and

516
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 1: just stop wasting people's time, and like understand that women

517
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: are their child, you know child, you know, their child

518
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 1: of God. And it's like, man, like I never really

519
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 1: thought about like that, and I'm like, I gotta really

520
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: lock in. I gotta stop wasting people's you know, women's time,

521
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: and I gotta stop like just I'll just be immature, right,

522
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,679
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know, this is a challenge

523
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 1: for me, this whole staining thing, but you know, let

524
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: me try it. Like obviously what I'm doing before is

525
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 1: just not working. Let me try something different, you know.

526
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 1: So that really changed the game. For me because now

527
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: when I'm dating, it's like, look, as a man, you

528
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 1: could date a woman and you cannot see if you

529
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,720
Speaker 1: don't see a future with her. But she may look

530
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 1: like a fun time. You may just have fun. He'll

531
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 1: waste a lot of time fact knowing that you're not

532
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 1: gonna marry her. But she may be physically attractive or

533
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: she's just a good time, and that situationship can go

534
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 1: on for months and years. But when you remove that

535
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 1: out of the situation, like sleeping together, when you remove

536
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 1: that out the situation long, yeah, like you know, after

537
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: a couple of dates, you kind of know, like can

538
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 1: I take this person serious or not? So it's so

539
00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 1: much easier to date when you're obstaining, so much easier.

540
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,879
Speaker 1: It's low key, like I don't know, it actually feels

541
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,800
Speaker 1: better because I know for me, I start feeling guilty

542
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: if I can't give it one what she wants because

543
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: now like we're in bed together and now because you

544
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: know it's a good time, automatically, oh, I see you

545
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,880
Speaker 1: as my husband now, not really knowing because we having

546
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: a good time, right, but automatically oh husband now right,

547
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 1: But now I feel bad because I don't see you

548
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: ain't see anything more than that. No, I don't. I

549
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: don't want to deal with the guilt of that, and

550
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with God's child like that.

551
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 1: Something all right, cool, like let me let me have seen.

552
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: So it's been over a year now, so it definitely.

553
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 3: Made dating better. Congratulations.

554
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, I appreciate that.

555
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 2: See a lot of times men don't congratulate other men

556
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: about discipline because we've been brainwised to congratulate be like,

557
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 2: oh no, listen, you're traveling around, you need to smash

558
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 2: as many women as possible.

559
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 3: Brouh. I remember when I did a video about practicing absinence.

560
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 2: This is what I did in twenty twenty when I

561
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 2: first I went close to when I met you when

562
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 2: I did the episode of that, and dudes, was like,

563
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 2: you chose.

564
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 3: The wrong time to do this.

565
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 2: You just you created a podcast called Near Future Wifey

566
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 2: and it's all these women that are after you, and

567
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,639
Speaker 2: now you're about to be at what how. I had

568
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,920
Speaker 2: my homeboys call me and say, brouh, that's stupid, he said.

569
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 2: Every woman would understand if you was running around smashing

570
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 2: all these they understand that because that's what men are

571
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 2: supposed to do.

572
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 3: I said, let me tell you something. I said.

573
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,920
Speaker 2: I was married before, and because I didn't operate and

574
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 2: discipline in my life prior to marriage, I got married

575
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 2: and I cheated on my ex wife. And I said,

576
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 2: so I don't want I want to kill that goliathe

577
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 2: in my life. They like, I don't understand nothing what

578
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 2: you're talking about right now, he said. He said, but

579
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 2: this is what you're supposed to do. You're going to

580
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 2: get married one day, and then you're gonna get married

581
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 2: again one day, and you're going to be quote unquote

582
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 2: stuck with that one woman for the rest of your life.

583
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 3: Get it out of your system, now, I said, no,

584
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 3: it was never supposed to be in my system.

585
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 2: See what happens is is that we talked to men

586
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 2: about get this out your system. It was never supposed

587
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 2: to be in my system. I was never supposed to

588
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 2: operate in a lack of discipline and try out different

589
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 2: women prior to marriage.

590
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 3: And now we put it in our system.

591
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 2: And the only way to get it out of our

592
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 2: system is to get delivered from it, not to go

593
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 2: have more women to infect myself with to say it's

594
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 2: going to get out of my system. The more I

595
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 2: infect myself, and so deliverance was necessary for me to

596
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 2: get delivered from those demons that haunted me when I

597
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 2: lost my virginia at sixteen years.

598
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 3: Old, you know.

599
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: And so I'm glad that you are exercising and discipline

600
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 2: because your future wife is going to honor that respect

601
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 2: that and your marriage is going to be healthy because

602
00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 2: of it.

603
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: Can I keep real, bro?

604
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 3: Come on?

605
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 1: I feel like when you when you were moved sleeping

606
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: together out the equation, like you see the real person

607
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: absolutely and what you thought maybe attractive, like what you

608
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: thought maybe attractive, you start having real conversations you realize like, hey,

609
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: they not really like that, Like wow, when you really

610
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: like actually have to like learn how someone thinks, yes,

611
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 1: and you pay attention to their character and their personality

612
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 1: as a whole. Because you know, when you sleep on

613
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 1: somebody get you get drunk, you get drunk.

614
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 4: It's actually neuroscience involved in that. So there's neurotransmitters that

615
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 4: are released and then you mix you know, dopamine in

616
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 4: the beginning, right, So we're all, you know, excited about

617
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 4: the possibility of what is, and so our brains are

618
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 4: like dopamine dopemine. Then women are releasing oxytocin normally faster

619
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 4: than men once you sleep with someone, right, Oxytocin is

620
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 4: suppressed in a man, testosterone is increased in a man,

621
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 4: but a woman gets a big surge of oxytocin, and

622
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 4: so now often she's like, oh my gosh, I really

623
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 4: like him, and then he's like, oh my gosh, get

624
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 4: off me. And then there's this disconnect of like what

625
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 4: you were talking about about, how am I treating God's

626
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 4: daughter when we don't even realize the way that we

627
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 4: were created. There's all this stuff like I encourage people

628
00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 4: to really study neurotransmitters and how they work when it

629
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 4: comes to falling in love. Yes, because what you're talking

630
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 4: about is how we're actually programmed, not just spiritually but

631
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 4: from a scienti perspective to do relationships well so that

632
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 4: we are actually finding love instead of being you know,

633
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 4: drunk drunk.

634
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 3: And love drunk, like Beyonce said, drunken love drunk exactly.

635
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to be drunk no more.

636
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, going to be sober minded, right right, And that's key,

637
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 2: especially when you're choosing a life partner, when you're choosing

638
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 2: your wife, when you're choosing your husband, you want to

639
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 2: be clear and sober minded. The Bible says, guard your

640
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,280
Speaker 2: heart from out of it flows the issues of life.

641
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:36,480
Speaker 2: And so when you find yourself just giving yourself to

642
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 2: all these different people, the more that you become not

643
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 2: only numb to the experience, but then you're giving pieces

644
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 2: of yourself to so many different people. And then when

645
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 2: you get ready to get married, then all your spouse

646
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 2: is getting this pieces of you versus a whole version

647
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 2: of you. And so yeah, actually, now, prior to marriage,

648
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 2: we went and did a whole deliverance thing. We went

649
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 2: to Prayer Mountain that's over here in Cedar Hill, and

650
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 2: we win and we broke soul ties, you.

651
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 3: Know, and it was the most powerful thing that we did.

652
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 3: And so it's just it's so important.

653
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 2: And in my books Do the Love, I talk about

654
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 2: how when you get married, it's what when we look

655
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 2: at the whole marriage ceremony, you typically you have one

656
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 2: spouse on one end of the spouse's family, the groom

657
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 2: side of the family on one side, the bride's side

658
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 2: on another side, and when they walk down the aisle,

659
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 2: they're merging the families together, which is indicative of blood covenant.

660
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 3: What happens when when the.

661
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 2: Sacrifices were made on the altar, it was slicing the

662
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: animal in the middle and the body put both sides,

663
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: and the blood would flow, and that would create a

664
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 2: covenant and remission of sins and everything else with God.

665
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 2: And so what happens when two parties come together have

666
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 2: sex for the first time, they come together under covenant.

667
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 2: The Bible recognize you as Mary once you have sex

668
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 2: with somebody, because it's the mixing of blood and the

669
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 2: high and it's broken.

670
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 3: Uh, Student of Love, get the book. It talks deeply

671
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 3: about that.

672
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 2: And a chapter I call pe physical education, so things

673
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 2: that we weren't taught of the power of sex. Because

674
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 2: a lot of times men and women be like sex ain't.

675
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 3: No big deal.

676
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 2: Ain't no big deal. It don't mean nothing. And you

677
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 2: don't realize that. We hear words like soul ties. Some

678
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 2: of us believe it, some of us don't. Some people

679
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 2: look at it as just a Hey, this is just

680
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 2: an expression of two grown adults expressing how they feel

681
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 2: about each other. But you're creating a covenant with each other.

682
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 2: And so again shout out to you as a man

683
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 2: to say, I want to win in this. I don't

684
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 2: want to keep failing in the same thing over and

685
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 2: over again. Let me try something different so I can

686
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:47,520
Speaker 2: get a different result and not operate in insanity.

687
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,560
Speaker 3: Right, So that's powerful.

688
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 4: So you're thirty eight, Yes, in an ideal world, when

689
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 4: would you be married?

690
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,240
Speaker 1: God's time.

691
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 3: Going gonna go there? You don't want to hear it?

692
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 3: Come on, you're doing real good, punked out time.

693
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to say the exact time.

694
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 3: On the tip to tip the one, but what I will.

695
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: Say is I'm a lot more intentional. And I don't

696
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 1: feel like you have to wait years to make a decision.

697
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 3: Fact I don't.

698
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 1: I don't think that's needed.

699
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: And and and to cover you a little bit is

700
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 2: the reason why you didn't want to give a timeline

701
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 2: is because you don't want to tip off the love

702
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 2: interest you have now on trying to check off a

703
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 2: clock for sure.

704
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: Okay, you gotta create, You gotta have some type of

705
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 1: surprise and the like, some type of you know, especially

706
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: for a woman, like if a man told you the

707
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: exact date that that was gonna happen, like.

708
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 4: No, but I as a woman, you know, if you

709
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 4: were going to say in three years, I would be

710
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 4: like Oh that's not gonna fit with my time. So

711
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 4: I I don't mean, like, you know, February fourteenth, the

712
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 4: next year, I mean what is the range or even

713
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 4: just having you know, people will sit down and they'll say,

714
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 4: where do you see yourself in the next year? Where

715
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 4: do you see yourself in the next two years, or

716
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 4: maybe even your five year plan. So that's more of

717
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 4: what I'm trying to understand.

718
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:20,320
Speaker 3: How intentional are you?

719
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: Gotcha?

720
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 3: Gotcha? Are youre intentional enough to be married within the

721
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 3: next two years? Or I would see that?

722
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,799
Speaker 7: Okay, sure, good, that works.

723
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, you want.

724
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 2: To make sure that the woman audience I got your man.

725
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 2: Does marriage scare you at all?

726
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 1: There are times in my life where marriage scared me

727
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,760
Speaker 1: for sure, because again I always want to get married.

728
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,760
Speaker 1: I like, it's always been in my will, It's always

729
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: been in my vision, Like I always saw myself being married.

730
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,280
Speaker 1: But I was always fearful of being in the wrong marriage,

731
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: like carrying the wrong person, even down to having kids,

732
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: like I don't have any kids. One of my biggest

733
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:05,919
Speaker 1: fears in life was having a kid with the wrong person.

734
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 1: Like that was one of the biggest fears of my life.

735
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: I was like by any means necessary, I don't want

736
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: that to happen. And I was very serious about that. Yeah,

737
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 1: I just I just didn't want to be tied to

738
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 1: the wrong person. So that was probably, you know, definitely

739
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: a fear of mine for sure.

740
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 3: And how's that fear or has that fear been eradicated?

741
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 1: I would say therapy, I'll say, you know, just reading, learning,

742
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: getting around other successfully happily married couples.

743
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 3: What about the kid thing?

744
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 1: See, I still want to have kids, but the right person.

745
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,280
Speaker 1: Like I'm cool and I don't want but I always

746
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 1: want to be married to That was the thing too,

747
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,879
Speaker 1: Like I want to be married before kids. I never

748
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 1: wanted to have kids out of a wedlock. I just

749
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:05,000
Speaker 1: I didn't want that. Why, it just seemed ghetto, I

750
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 1: could be honest, Like it just I never want to

751
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: have a baby mama. I didn't want to be a

752
00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: baby dad. I didn't. I didn't want that, you know, Like,

753
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 1: and I never I felt like if I was going

754
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 1: to have kids with you, I should at least want

755
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: to be able to marry you. Yeah, Like it just

756
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:27,279
Speaker 1: seemed backwards having kids then get married. Nah, Like if

757
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: I can't see myself marrying you, I'm not gonna have

758
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,799
Speaker 1: kids with you. That was just my like life.

759
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,880
Speaker 4: A lot of men, I'm hearing that they're afraid to

760
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 4: make a decision because decide literally means to cut off

761
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 4: all other options, right, and so that's what marriage is

762
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 4: is making a decision. Now, do you feel like you

763
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 4: can decide, you know, confidently, or do you feel apprehensive

764
00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 4: about making that lifelong decision at this point in your life?

765
00:36:56,600 --> 00:37:00,359
Speaker 1: I could decide for sure, it's good and you out here.

766
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 3: Why. Therapy and reading the Bible.

767
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 1: And practicing abstins, those things deactly played a part for sure. Yeah, Yes,

768
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 1: being a being so reminded. Yeah, and also just kind

769
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: of learning learning the come beyond with y'all. I had

770
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 1: to really learn how to love all sides of a woman.

771
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is the emotional aspect

772
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 1: of a woman was very hard for me when it

773
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,399
Speaker 1: came to deal with that, right, dealing with the ups

774
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: and downs a woman's a woman's emotion. I I really

775
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:50,360
Speaker 1: had to learn. I really had to learn, and I

776
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 1: think I think every man really does a lot.

777
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 3: Of a lot of men.

778
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,720
Speaker 2: M you you talking that good talk. I'm telling you again,

779
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 2: First of all, thank you for opening up. This is

780
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 2: so different for you because you know me talk about

781
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 2: the logical side, which is business. Now you're talking about

782
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 2: the heart side of you. And I just want to

783
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,399
Speaker 2: thank you and applied you for that, because you hit

784
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 2: on something that most men do not share with women.

785
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 2: They will never tell you, like heiny't.

786
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 3: From the love all that.

787
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 2: I like it when you chill. I like it when

788
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 2: you because think about it. The number one thing that

789
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 2: men say they want from a woman is what peace yep,

790
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 2: No attitude, yep, peace the reality of a woman all sides.

791
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 2: Every day ain't peaceful, just like every day from us

792
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 2: ain't gonna be peaceful. But most men say, I just

793
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 2: want a woman that brings me peace. And what they

794
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 2: mean is I remember Tyler Perry said this one day.

795
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 2: He said, I want a woman that gets in the

796
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 2: water and don't make waves. So in essence, he wants

797
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 2: you to be able to get there and don't even

798
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 2: know you there. He said, get in the water, don't

799
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 2: make waves. I said, wow, that's deep. I never forgot

800
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 2: him said that. And the reality is that most men

801
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 2: just say, leave me alone. I want you in my life.

802
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 2: I don't want you stressing me out. I want peace

803
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 2: at all times. I don't want you hey, do what

804
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 2: I say I need a hey. I won't give me sex.

805
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 2: I don't want you to weaponize that against me. I

806
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,240
Speaker 2: just want my life to be easy.

807
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 3: Yes, that's just not life.

808
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 2: And so when you said that, what made you get

809
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:27,919
Speaker 2: to the place to where you say, hey, I really

810
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: don't like and love all sides of women.

811
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 3: Now I have to learn to mature in that level.

812
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: Well, I have to come to terms that almost every

813
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: woman on this planet has certain emotions that are just

814
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 1: different from men, and there's gonna be ups and downs

815
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: in their emotions that a man is just not going

816
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: to understand and they're not going to be able to

817
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,759
Speaker 1: relate to. So I think what happened for me, I

818
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,879
Speaker 1: would always look at it like an inconvenience when there's

819
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 1: ups and downs, right, because it's like, all cool, I

820
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 1: just hope we have a good day today, right, Like

821
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,720
Speaker 1: can we please have a good day today?

822
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: You know?

823
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:09,240
Speaker 1: So it's like I just had to realize, like by design,

824
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: like God just made women a particular way, just like

825
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 1: you know, God made men a certain way. Like there's

826
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:18,439
Speaker 1: just certain things within a woman's emotion that just moves

827
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 1: the way that it does, and I can. I have

828
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 1: to stop looking at it like inconvenience, and I just

829
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: had to look at it like, listen, this is just

830
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 1: God's design, and how I show up during the ups

831
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,440
Speaker 1: and downs, it's also going to determine one how much

832
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: I love this person, but two it's really a part

833
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,479
Speaker 1: of me being therefore that being supportive for that woman,

834
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 1: Like I had to really learn that, you know. So

835
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: it's like, all right, cool, Like, I gotta be a

836
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 1: lot more mature in how I show up for women

837
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 1: when she's not emotionally at her best.

838
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

839
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 4: I encourage all men to track your woman's cycle because

840
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 4: you can do a lot of research out whatever time

841
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,400
Speaker 4: of the month it is, and it will tell you

842
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 4: how literally our hormones are changing.

843
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 6: So a lot of women don't want to.

844
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 7: Be up and down.

845
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 4: But I'll tell my husband some days I'll be like,

846
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 4: you know what, I'm not going to talk this morning

847
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 4: because I'm not in a good mood.

848
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 7: But it's not you.

849
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 2: It's just tell him about what happened in the earlier

850
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 2: part of us dating. Literally the first month the.

851
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 6: Argument, Yes, okay, so I think this was our very

852
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 6: first argument.

853
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 4: I was driving in the freeway and on the freeway

854
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,800
Speaker 4: in LA, and he was on the phone with me,

855
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 4: and I don't remember how we started talking, but we

856
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 4: were getting serious and we were trying to navigate how

857
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:50,240
Speaker 4: life could work if we were to be together Dallas exactly.

858
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 4: And so one of my biggest concerns was that my

859
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 4: mom is in LA. And I was like, I'm not

860
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:02,800
Speaker 4: gonna leave my mom all alone. Now she's older. You know,

861
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 4: I'm her only child, and so this idea of just

862
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 4: being in Texas was like, you know, it was leaving her,

863
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 4: but it was also leaving everything that I had built,

864
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 4: Like my business was in LA, and I just felt

865
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 4: like I had planted roots there. And I was like,

866
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 4: I don't want to leave La, but I for sure

867
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 4: don't want to leave my mom. And I'm all emotional

868
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 4: about it. I'm hollering on the freeway.

869
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 7: I'm just like, I am not.

870
00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 4: You're not gonna do that. You want to rip apart

871
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 4: all and and she's been here and you haven't you

872
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 4: got here, you know, two days ago, whatever, it was, right,

873
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 4: I'm being so dramatic. And he was like, I don't know,

874
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 4: I don't know what's happening.

875
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:42,919
Speaker 6: He's like no, I love my mom.

876
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 1: I love my mom.

877
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 4: I take care of my mom. And I was like, yeah,

878
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 4: but this is my mom. And he's like, i've literally astly.

879
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,280
Speaker 4: I need you to understand. I take care of my family.

880
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 4: I don't leave my family. And I'm like, okay, well

881
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 4: we're talking about my family. Now you haven't said anything

882
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 4: about her. So I'm just finding things to be frustrated about.

883
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 4: And I was like, you know what, let me just

884
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 4: call you back. So I get home, I get settled,

885
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 4: you know, and I start just taking a deep breath.

886
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 4: I open up my phone, I look at the at

887
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,840
Speaker 4: the calendar, and I'm like, oh, your cycle's about to start.

888
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 6: I immediately knew.

889
00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 7: I said, uh oh, let me call him back.

890
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,120
Speaker 3: So she called me. I said, listen, I'm sorry. I

891
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 3: don't know what I said. I didn't mean to trigger you.

892
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 2: I just I just want you to know that your

893
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 2: mom will be taking care of I pay all my

894
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 2: mom's bills, I take care of my mom. I will

895
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,919
Speaker 2: treat your mom the exact same way. She said, Stop apologizing.

896
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,920
Speaker 2: It's just it's just that time of the month. I'm

897
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 2: just tripping, I said, because I said what she was like,

898
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 2: it is not your fault. This is just where I'm

899
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 2: at right now hormonally. I said, good, I said, because

900
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 2: I was like what. I was like, why are you

901
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 2: going on me like that? Like it was I'm talking

902
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 2: about she was losing it.

903
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:58,720
Speaker 7: I was like, what is she hearing?

904
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 3: I said, We're not going to just abandon your mama.

905
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 2: We could have both residences, like we You don't have

906
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 2: to leave what you already have there. We can go

907
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 2: back and forth. What are you talking about? And she

908
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 2: just nipped it right in the butt and said that,

909
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 2: And I was like, who I said? What to say

910
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: in that moment?

911
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I encourage women to do that, right if

912
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 4: you know, because like as much as I'm telling men

913
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 4: that they should be aware and do some research.

914
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:23,719
Speaker 5: Women should too.

915
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 6: We should know.

916
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 4: Okay, the week before my cycle, I'm super irritable, and

917
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 4: I know I'm snappy and certain things hurt my feelings.

918
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 4: Like I told him the other day, I was crying,

919
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 4: like we had just got back from Jamaica or no,

920
00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 4: we were leaving Jamaica and I woke up home and

921
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 4: I was crying, but I tracked, so I knew, Okay,

922
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 4: my estrogen is at the highest level today.

923
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,320
Speaker 3: You're walking a video on Instagram.

924
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, like you just started crying videos of like, you know,

925
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 4: animals and then all of a sudden, you know you're

926
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 4: crying or like I was, I started praying and then

927
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 4: I was crying that and that's normal, like that's worship.

928
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 4: But but I'm like at a heightened level emotionally because

929
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:04,480
Speaker 4: my estrogen is high.

930
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 6: Well, since I tracked that, I'm like, just leave me be.

931
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 4: And I told him, I said, I'm probably gonna cry

932
00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 4: three times today, kid, you not. I cried three times today.

933
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:15,959
Speaker 4: He was sitting there asleep, just living his best life.

934
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:17,399
Speaker 4: But that's fine, right.

935
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 6: We have to own that. And so I just think

936
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,440
Speaker 6: it's a healthy way for women to.

937
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,800
Speaker 4: I encourage women to empower themselves with the knowledge that

938
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 4: we have in the resources that we have today, to

939
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 4: be able to know how our emotions are going, so

940
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,760
Speaker 4: that we can help be good partners to you guys,

941
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 4: because you do not function like this.

942
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, as a man, we're not taught this, Like

943
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: most men were not taught to understand that aspect of

944
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 1: a woman. And to be honest, like I never really

945
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 1: saw that from my mom, right, But I don't think

946
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 1: mothers are going to really show that side to their kids. Yeah,

947
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,360
Speaker 1: so you know, of course we're going to be unaware

948
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: of that when you're in a relationship. So that was

949
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,440
Speaker 1: really important. Now it's actually actually one of the like

950
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:06,319
Speaker 1: key things in therapy that I that I really want

951
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 1: to tackle. And even reading this book on meta from

952
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,719
Speaker 1: Mars went from Venus, Like that book really helped me

953
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: like kind like understanding that what did that.

954
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 3: Book share that that you took away from Nuggets wrong?

955
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 2: Man?

956
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 1: Just how different men and women are, right, Like just

957
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:28,800
Speaker 1: how massively different and and just like like just the

958
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 1: makeup within a woman that just has these feelings that

959
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 1: she oftentimes doesn't even understand that she's having. Yeah, that's

960
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,560
Speaker 1: the thing. Like as a man, you don't understand, but

961
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: the woman she don't even be understanding sometimes like why

962
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:42,560
Speaker 1: she feel the way that she feel? Right, And again

963
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 1: it's by God's design, Like why did God design a

964
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 1: woman in a certain way? Like I don't know, But

965
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 1: it's normal, it's not a bad thing. It's a and

966
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 1: it's actually good in it, right, Like there's there's prose

967
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: to why women feels the way that she does. Right,

968
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: Like there's pros It makes it makes it more nurturing

969
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 1: it allows her to be more loving, Like there's there's

970
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 1: reasons for everything, so I just had to learn how

971
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: to show a best for that.

972
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, we went to the Love and Relationship Tour with

973
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 2: David and Tamlaman yesterday and they start talking about the issue. Well,

974
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 2: Melissa Fredericks brought up perimenopause and talk about how that

975
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 2: changes the way a woman's emotions are and just everything,

976
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 2: and David Mann was like, yeah, I've been reading, I've

977
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 2: been reading this and all this and I've been learning

978
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:37,759
Speaker 2: about it. And then Stephanie Carter was like, we still

979
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,919
Speaker 2: don't even know, like we're going through it and don't

980
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 2: even know how it's impacting us. And so it's so

981
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 2: nuanced the actual woman going through this new set of emotions,

982
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 2: feelings one minute hot, next minute cold. He flashes and

983
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 2: hot flashes and all that, and it's saying, I don't

984
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,840
Speaker 2: even know why my body is responding like that. But

985
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 2: think about how often if a person isn't aware of

986
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 2: that and they internalize everything that their spouse is doing

987
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,800
Speaker 2: and saying you just hate me now, like you just

988
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 2: hate me, don't want to be touching you.

989
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 3: You like, get off me. I'm hot, don't do this.

990
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:15,359
Speaker 2: It's like forget you. And then he go steps out

991
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,920
Speaker 2: and cheats. He says that, you know, she's showing him

992
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 2: that she doesn't want him anymore. She feeling whatever she feels. Well,

993
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 2: she may feel like women be going through stuff saying

994
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,120
Speaker 2: that they ain't want marriage no more, or they may

995
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 2: not even want they they don't like they kids.

996
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:28,600
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

997
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:31,800
Speaker 2: I've heard women and it's giving me a new frame

998
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 2: of thought that when I hear these women pop up

999
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 2: on social media saying I wish I'd never gotten married,

1000
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 2: or I wish I've never I heard this lady one

1001
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 2: day saying my husband is the greatest man I've ever met.

1002
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 2: I love my kids, love I mean, he is perfect,

1003
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 2: but I wish I never got married. You'd be like

1004
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 2: what And it's triggering the mess out of men. Well,

1005
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 2: what if that person is going through perimenopause. What if

1006
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 2: that person is is going through menopause and they're sharing

1007
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:01,879
Speaker 2: that stuff in that moment and it's a fleeting moment

1008
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 2: that they're going through for a couple of years and

1009
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:05,800
Speaker 2: feeling that, and then that husband has to hear that

1010
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,040
Speaker 2: and go, wow, you regret the fact that you marry me,

1011
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,160
Speaker 2: and then he goes gets divorce, and then she gets

1012
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 2: through that phase and go, what have I done?

1013
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 3: Oh my god?

1014
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 2: Didn't realize that her hormonal level was all over the

1015
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,800
Speaker 2: place that made her feel a certain way. And so

1016
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:25,279
Speaker 2: I'm glad that Ashley is transparent enough to share that

1017
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 2: with me, because that's the first person ever in my

1018
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: life to say, listen, you don't need to apologize for that.

1019
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:35,320
Speaker 2: That's on me, you know what I'm saying. I was like, oh, oh, okay,

1020
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 2: well good, because I know what to do. At that point,

1021
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 2: I was just like, do we need to move your

1022
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 2: mom in with us? How?

1023
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 4: But I'll say if I hadn't been tracking it, like

1024
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,440
Speaker 4: this is why again, I stand by this.

1025
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 6: I was talking to someone a couple of weeks ago

1026
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 6: who was.

1027
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 4: Like, I don't track my cycle. You have got to

1028
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 4: because you may not always know what's happening. But even

1029
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 4: if you can identify like this week, I'm usually sad,

1030
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 4: or I'm usually my back aches, or if you can

1031
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 4: start to kind of like we just have to start

1032
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 4: to learn our bodies and men you too, like you

1033
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:10,760
Speaker 4: guys go through.

1034
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 6: Things as well. I've done some research.

1035
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 4: They say, you guys have some kind of mood shift.

1036
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,760
Speaker 4: I can't remember exactly what it's. Someone's gonna comment.

1037
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:20,840
Speaker 3: You're talking about what an age.

1038
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 4: No, it's like your mood shifts, but it's I think

1039
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 4: it's every five or six weeks, so it's not like

1040
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 4: a cycle.

1041
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 6: But your hormones fluctuate as well.

1042
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna do some research on that, because

1043
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,520
Speaker 4: you know, you guys are usually even killed.

1044
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 6: But there's some some mood changes that men.

1045
00:50:38,560 --> 00:50:39,040
Speaker 7: Have as well.

1046
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 6: Interesting and I think when you put those together sometimes

1047
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 6: it's like, I know.

1048
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 2: We go through midlife crisis with it when you get older,

1049
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 2: be wanting our younger years back and start getting sports

1050
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 2: cars and everything.

1051
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, fifty years, I go ahead and get.

1052
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,359
Speaker 3: You started dressing like so they'd be like, I want

1053
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:58,320
Speaker 3: to see if I still got it.

1054
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 2: You know, they go through that, and so come on,

1055
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:06,280
Speaker 2: what are some things that you would like to share

1056
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:08,839
Speaker 2: what you've already touched on a lot of stuff from

1057
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,760
Speaker 2: a man's standpoint, that you feel like are.

1058
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 3: Misnomers for men that we've.

1059
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:20,320
Speaker 2: Been either raised improperly to think a certain way that

1060
00:51:20,440 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 2: you wish that you could go back and say, I

1061
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 2: wish I wasn't taught this from whether it was society,

1062
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 2: whether it was your friends, whether it was uncles or whatnot,

1063
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 2: that you realize just wasn't healthy, you know, as a man.

1064
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 1: It's kind of like you're praise for being in the

1065
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:44,000
Speaker 1: streets and like run through women. You know, like it's cool,

1066
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 1: you know, like it's very cool. You know what I'm saying,

1067
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 1: Like how many numbers you get? Or like you know

1068
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 1: what happened last night? You know what you're like uncle's friends.

1069
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 1: So it's like we're praised for not being monogamous, Like

1070
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: we're raise for you know, the more when we have

1071
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: the like just the cool we are. Right in Jamaica,

1072
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 1: we have this term called yellous, like when you got

1073
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 1: a lot of girls, Yeah, yealous, Like it's it's cool

1074
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,240
Speaker 1: you got a lot of girls. Ye're yealous?

1075
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 3: You know what?

1076
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 4: I heard a song called I didn't know how to

1077
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 4: pronounce it or what it meant, but you know that song.

1078
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: What song?

1079
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 7: There's a song called na Galli.

1080
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:30,360
Speaker 6: I was like, what is it talking about? So that

1081
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 6: means you have a lot of girls?

1082
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, So like that, you know, we're praised for that, right,

1083
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 1: And I think just unconsciously because you get that praise

1084
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 1: from old old heads OG's and cools, you know, maybe

1085
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 1: even seeing your pops do it right, So just kind

1086
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 1: of like unconsciously you're like, all right, like I'm be

1087
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 1: in these streets, I'm gonna have fun, I'm gonna turn

1088
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:54,360
Speaker 1: up and just you don't even realize how that affects,

1089
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: you know, just your dating life. Now, maybe you want

1090
00:52:58,239 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 1: to get to a point where you actually do want

1091
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,480
Speaker 1: to set up down and be serious like that stuff

1092
00:53:02,520 --> 00:53:05,719
Speaker 1: doesn't it doesn't just disappear like now you've built this

1093
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: these lustful desires, yes, right, and all these just unhealthy

1094
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 1: just just patterns and behaviors. And if you never heal

1095
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 1: those things, if you never deal with those things, it's

1096
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,960
Speaker 1: gonna make dating terrible. A lot of it's gonna you know.

1097
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:25,839
Speaker 1: For what I realized too is a lot of men

1098
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:29,160
Speaker 1: they'll end up getting married, but they'll never make a

1099
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: decision to be like faithful or be monogamous. And and

1100
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 1: I think what happens is women just feel like, oh,

1101
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,320
Speaker 1: like just automatically when you get married, a man's gonna.

1102
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 3: Become faithful, no, exactly, Like if a.

1103
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 1: Man never like quiets that or shuts that down or

1104
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:46,879
Speaker 1: just makes a decision to be faithful monogamous, like they're

1105
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 1: just not gonna be you know, overnight, become faithful just

1106
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 1: because they got a ring on their fingers. Like no,

1107
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,239
Speaker 1: like that'd be great, but that's just not how humans are.

1108
00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 1: So because of that just molding that a lot of

1109
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 1: men have growing up, it just leads to destruction. And

1110
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 1: I feel like that needs to change.

1111
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 4: You know.

1112
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:12,239
Speaker 1: It's just as as an older man talking to younger men. Uh,

1113
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 1: what the things that you know that are said, the

1114
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:19,399
Speaker 1: examples that we that we create, all that just needs

1115
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 1: to be changed.

1116
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 3: I always say, what you practice in your singleness, you'll

1117
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 3: perfect the marriage. Yep.

1118
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:28,320
Speaker 2: And so when you keep practicing a certain lifestyle of mindset,

1119
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 2: like you said, your body, don't say, oh we married,

1120
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 2: so now I have to change your body said, oh no,

1121
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:35,640
Speaker 2: just last week we had about three chicks. You know

1122
00:54:35,680 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, like, what would so is she number four?

1123
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 2: Because with your brain, ain't thinking about none.

1124
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 6: Of that stufflor parties?

1125
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 2: Oh so think about this. I always say, this is

1126
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 2: the most unhealthy thing. People get married. Men get married,

1127
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 2: women get married, and they celebrate the day before they

1128
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:58,280
Speaker 2: get married. With going having strippers and your bachelor party

1129
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 2: and your bachelor read party is doing every thing that

1130
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:03,560
Speaker 2: you're not even supposed to do when you're in a relationship.

1131
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 2: Because if I told my woman, a woman will typically

1132
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 2: depend on what type of relationship you got, give you

1133
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:13,840
Speaker 2: an excuse for having a stripper the night before you

1134
00:55:13,960 --> 00:55:15,439
Speaker 2: get married, But any other.

1135
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 3: Time, if I said, yeah, I'm gonna go to the strips,

1136
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 3: like what you gonna hang out? Strip club? What you

1137
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 3: doing whatever? Now, she's mad. But if I say now

1138
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 3: the night before, she'd be like, listen, I want to

1139
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 3: hear about it.

1140
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 5: Do what you do.

1141
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,320
Speaker 2: It's okay, this is your last night of freedom, and

1142
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 2: I'm going the night before I go into covenant. You're

1143
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:33,279
Speaker 2: giving me permission to go and do whatever. Now, A

1144
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 2: woman says, now I want you having sex with her,

1145
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 2: But good lord, you're putting yourself in the most vulnerable

1146
00:55:37,680 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 2: situation the night before your homeboy said there's gonna be

1147
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:45,160
Speaker 2: your last piece or whatever, right, and trusting an ungodly

1148
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 2: situation to walk away from it and have discipline. I

1149
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 2: always say that is the most unhealthy thing. So I

1150
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 2: always said that. When I got married, I said, I'm

1151
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 2: not gonna do none of that stuff. My homeboy, Kenny Latimore,

1152
00:55:56,560 --> 00:56:00,239
Speaker 2: I filmed his bachelor I'm gonna say part already.

1153
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,920
Speaker 3: It was called the Words of Affirmation Ceremony. It's the

1154
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 3: same thing that I did h when we got married.

1155
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 2: But I gathered my my brothers, my friends, and they

1156
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 2: I sat on the stool and they just poured into

1157
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,880
Speaker 2: me about the impact that they that I made on

1158
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 2: their life, the way that they've seen me changed throughout life,

1159
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 2: different gems and nuggets that they picked up along the way,

1160
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 2: how I've inspired them to become a better man. And

1161
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 2: then I was filled with words of affirmation to now

1162
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 2: go the next day into this covenant marriage instead of

1163
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:37,239
Speaker 2: the thoughts of some girl sliding down a pole giving

1164
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:39,240
Speaker 2: me a lap dance, and I'm looking at my wife,

1165
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 2: you know, and the preacher sitting up there having us

1166
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 2: doing vows, and I'm sitting up for going.

1167
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 3: I came for that girl. Oh she was.

1168
00:56:46,640 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 2: White, sliding down the pole, flying down the pole. She

1169
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,600
Speaker 2: spent around you, And I'm seeing that in my head

1170
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,320
Speaker 2: and I'm like, do you take this woman? I'm like,

1171
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 2: which woman?

1172
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:57,239
Speaker 3: I took her?

1173
00:56:57,680 --> 00:57:01,439
Speaker 2: I took her all through there, like like why would

1174
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 2: you do that, you know what I'm saying, and then

1175
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 2: you go and then you consummate your marriage with your

1176
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 2: wife knowing the night before you did some stuff that

1177
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:15,400
Speaker 2: you can't tell her about, and now you're starting to

1178
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 2: coven it with secrets. And then later on in the

1179
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 2: marriage then she may ask what happened at your bachelor

1180
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 2: bachelor party? Hey, don't bring that up whatever. All I

1181
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 2: want to know is that you sleep with her. Be like, nah,

1182
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:31,680
Speaker 2: in sleep with her, and she like, I could tell

1183
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,919
Speaker 2: you lie? And then now you find out you're line.

1184
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, And it's like the night

1185
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 2: you were never giving permission to go cheat, but seeing

1186
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 2: a naked woman fonded you do everything that they did.

1187
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 2: And even for the women sitting up here getting married

1188
00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:48,520
Speaker 2: and having some man jy rat and throw his penis

1189
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 2: ole in front of your face, picking you up, spinning

1190
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,080
Speaker 2: your around, painting you around, you will never allow your

1191
00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 2: woman to go through that any other time, you know

1192
00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. And you like, well, I don't want

1193
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,040
Speaker 2: to hear about it. You know what I'm saying. And

1194
00:57:59,120 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 2: it's like it's just so unhealthy. And that's why we

1195
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,919
Speaker 2: have to get back to doing things the way God

1196
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 2: intended for it to be, not to go in and

1197
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 2: bring demonic activities the night before you're about to make

1198
00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 2: the big decision you'll ever make in your life, creating

1199
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:17,520
Speaker 2: a covenant. And yeah, So I just want to encourage

1200
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 2: people men, women that are engaged even thinking about getting married,

1201
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 2: you're dating with intentionality, that don't participate in these demonic

1202
00:58:30,520 --> 00:58:32,960
Speaker 2: things of getting strippers and all this stuff the night

1203
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:33,800
Speaker 2: before you get married.

1204
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 3: Just get away from it all. Just flee from it all.

1205
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 2: Because you might say, well, he said, night before, Well,

1206
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 2: I go strip clubs, go strip clubs every other day,

1207
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 2: So I just want to do it night vote. No

1208
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:45,919
Speaker 2: people always trying to find he said, yeah, a month before,

1209
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,440
Speaker 2: month before good, he said, the day before. So I'm

1210
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 2: gonna do the month before. I'm listening to the Man

1211
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 2: of God. I'm listening to yes. And so that's the reality.

1212
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:54,280
Speaker 2: How do you feel about that same thing?

1213
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:55,240
Speaker 6: Now?

1214
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 2: Man?

1215
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 1: I agree one thousand percent. You know what I think

1216
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 1: the problem is too. I think I think a lot

1217
00:59:01,040 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: of men hear that, but I think they oftentimes hear

1218
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:09,440
Speaker 1: from like a perfect Christian place, And I think that's

1219
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:14,280
Speaker 1: where the breakdown is in spiritual teachings right, like they

1220
00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: feel like, oh, like, well I'm not perfect, you know

1221
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,600
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, or like or sometimes people men see

1222
00:59:19,760 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 1: or matter of women, they see certain things in church

1223
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:22,920
Speaker 1: and like, well, they're not perfect.

1224
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 5: They do this, they do that.

1225
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: I feel like they need to really like understand how

1226
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:33,960
Speaker 1: deep that is, Like they just need to really understand

1227
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 1: the importance of it and how much that can really

1228
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 1: make the difference. Right, Like I thank God, see like

1229
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 1: do I wish I got married earlier on?

1230
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 3: Yes?

1231
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 5: Right?

1232
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 1: But I also thank God that I was able to

1233
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 1: be at this place a lot more mature, so that way,

1234
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 1: when I do get married, I'm coming from a lot

1235
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 1: more mature place.

1236
00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 3: Go ahead.

1237
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 6: Why do you wish you would have got married earlier?

1238
00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 1: I guess I expected. I feel like when I was

1239
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 1: my teenage years, like in my mind, I was like,

1240
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be married by thirty. I'm gonna have the house,

1241
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 1: the pigg of fence, as I think most people do.

1242
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 1: So I just feel like because of an expectation and

1243
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:15,400
Speaker 1: perhaps also too had I if God felt it fit

1244
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,439
Speaker 1: for me to get married earlier on and I found

1245
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 1: the right woman, I was able to build a family

1246
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 1: sooner you know, I probably would have avoided certain chaotic

1247
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: dating experiences.

1248
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:24,919
Speaker 3: Yep.

1249
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 2: That's what I always go back on, is the fact

1250
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 2: that I would have allowed I remember, remember, like we've

1251
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 2: been married for five months, but I tell you asked

1252
01:00:34,600 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 2: all time, is that I just wish it could have

1253
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 2: happened earlier, so I could have saved myself so much

1254
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:43,680
Speaker 2: time dealing with the wrong situations. You know what I'm saying,

1255
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 2: Because it's like, and I wasn't mature enough to operate

1256
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 2: in discipline. Like I always say that if you operate

1257
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 2: in discipline, you may not have as much regret as

1258
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:58,439
Speaker 2: I would have, meaning that if you're entertaining having sex

1259
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:02,280
Speaker 2: with different people throughout life, it creates a different level

1260
01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 2: of impact and regret later on getting married and saying, man,

1261
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 2: this person, I've shared this moment with this person, I've

1262
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:08,360
Speaker 2: been intimate this person.

1263
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 3: I just wish I never had that. Versus if you dated.

1264
01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:15,200
Speaker 2: God's way, then it wouldn't have that level of regret

1265
01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 2: because you was like, I ain't sleep with nobody. I

1266
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 2: was a virgin, I dated multiple people. No one ever

1267
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 2: got that part of the intimacy side, the intimate side

1268
01:01:25,600 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 2: of me. So I'm good then they got married at

1269
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 2: thirty eight years old and be able to say, and

1270
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:33,440
Speaker 2: I saved myself for you. As a different perspective, but

1271
01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:35,120
Speaker 2: just the way I did it. I look back and

1272
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 2: I go, gosh, I wish I would have been more

1273
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 2: disciplined in my dating journey as well as I just

1274
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:45,920
Speaker 2: wish that these years that we get a chance to

1275
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 2: spend with each other always look at it like we

1276
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:51,000
Speaker 2: spend forty fifty years with each other.

1277
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:53,840
Speaker 3: I wish I had fifty one, you know, I wish

1278
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,720
Speaker 3: I had fifty two. You know what I'm saying.

1279
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 2: It's like whatever years that God is going to allow

1280
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 2: us to spend together before we leave this earth, I

1281
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:03,040
Speaker 2: wish I had one more extra year.

1282
01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:05,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, sounds like one of my letters that

1283
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 3: was beautiful. That was beautiful, Rihanna, was that beautiful? Yeah?

1284
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 3: That was beautiful. So so yeah, I just wish I

1285
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 3: had one more year with that.

1286
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,480
Speaker 2: And when I look at that, then I started saying,

1287
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,320
Speaker 2: because I used to think like that as we were dating,

1288
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 2: and God said, now I want you to live every

1289
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:22,120
Speaker 2: day with intentionality with her. Don't get caught up in

1290
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 2: the small little arguments. Don't get caught up on the

1291
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:29,360
Speaker 2: the the things that naturally can cause the vision.

1292
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 3: In your marriage.

1293
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 2: Just don't stay angry long you can. You can reclaim

1294
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 2: those days. You can reclaim every hour, Thank you Holy Spirit.

1295
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 2: Every hour that you reclaim not being divided, you're adding

1296
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,000
Speaker 2: more time being together.

1297
01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:47,800
Speaker 3: That's good. That was good. Bless me that blessed my

1298
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 3: whole spirit.

1299
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,240
Speaker 1: Saw you got a book. That's why I got.

1300
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:53,560
Speaker 3: That. Blessed my whole spirit right there.

1301
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:58,800
Speaker 2: Every if you can reclaim every hour, every minute that

1302
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 2: can cause you to be separated, you can spend more

1303
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:06,440
Speaker 2: time together. And that's that's that's that's that's that's powerful.

1304
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,360
Speaker 2: And so I'm always quick to apologize. I'm always quick

1305
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,240
Speaker 2: to be like, can we just get along? I just

1306
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 2: I just I be wanting to stay close because I

1307
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 2: hate like next week, next week, tomorrow, when this episode

1308
01:03:18,680 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 2: has been recorded, as it's going back to la for

1309
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:24,400
Speaker 2: a week. Every time we book her flight to go

1310
01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:27,520
Speaker 2: back to go work or whatever, I get Instantly she

1311
01:03:27,680 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 2: looked at me, said, you said you're getting said I'm like,

1312
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 2: be quiet, like, don't let me be in my little motions.

1313
01:03:32,600 --> 01:03:36,120
Speaker 2: I get sad while actually going through the process of

1314
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:39,120
Speaker 2: booking to travel because I know that that's five days,

1315
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:42,160
Speaker 2: six days that we're not even in the same house.

1316
01:03:42,800 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 2: That bothers me, and she'd be trying to pick on me,

1317
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:49,200
Speaker 2: like why are you getting said, I'd be like, let

1318
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 2: me be sad, and I like the feeling. I embrace

1319
01:03:53,360 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 2: the sadness of the separation because oftentimes I oftentimes I'll

1320
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:01,640
Speaker 2: be in situations where I'd be.

1321
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 3: Like, oh, please be gone. I get a week away

1322
01:04:04,040 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 3: from you, Thank you Jesus. This good. God is good.

1323
01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:08,920
Speaker 3: It's great. God is good. I get to spend a

1324
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 3: week away from you. I get some peace, you know

1325
01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:12,280
Speaker 3: what I'm saying.

1326
01:04:12,680 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 2: But I like that I get a chance to feel

1327
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 2: sad and miss her before she's even gone, just because

1328
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 2: of the thought that she's going to be away.

1329
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 3: But that's what I prayed for.

1330
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,520
Speaker 2: So I'm always mindful of those moments that when I

1331
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:27,760
Speaker 2: was single, I said, God, I can't wait to.

1332
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 3: Be married, and I want you to teach me how

1333
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:31,200
Speaker 3: to love my wife.

1334
01:04:31,280 --> 01:04:34,440
Speaker 2: Well, so then I don't want to have the wife

1335
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 2: and then be looking for the moments that I get

1336
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:39,800
Speaker 2: to be single by separations for these days and God,

1337
01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 2: be like, boy, you are so double minded. Like I remember,

1338
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 2: just just a year ago, you werever talking about God?

1339
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:47,560
Speaker 2: Where is my person? I just can't wait to get married?

1340
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 4: Lord?

1341
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:49,960
Speaker 3: This this, this, I bring the person. You can't wait

1342
01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:50,680
Speaker 3: to be away from.

1343
01:04:50,560 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 1: The whole podcast?

1344
01:04:51,560 --> 01:04:54,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, credit, Come.

1345
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:56,640
Speaker 2: Boy, you don't woke up Joe's violence. You create a

1346
01:04:56,640 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 2: whole podcast. Your wife, your future, became your president, and

1347
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:01,480
Speaker 2: now you're like, I want to go back to that. Yeah,

1348
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 2: I want to go back to being single. So come on,

1349
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:06,240
Speaker 2: what are some things we can look forward to from

1350
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 2: you in the future? Still travel videos, You got anything

1351
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:12,120
Speaker 2: else coming new or what you got going on in

1352
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:12,680
Speaker 2: you life? Yeah?

1353
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 3: Man, goodness.

1354
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:17,320
Speaker 1: Definitely gonna continue my world exploration, but also developing more

1355
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 1: trial films. I want to take my trial films to

1356
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:23,080
Speaker 1: another level. Want to create deeper documentaries. Like the premise

1357
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:26,520
Speaker 1: of my platform is telling untold stories around the world, right,

1358
01:05:26,720 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 1: so I want to get deeper with that. I want

1359
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 1: to take that to the next level.

1360
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 3: And yeah, what are some countries that you've been through?

1361
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:37,280
Speaker 2: Because going to visit a lot of these countries, Yep,

1362
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,960
Speaker 2: you don't just be in the touristy sites all the time.

1363
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:44,920
Speaker 2: So has it given you a deeper awareness and compassion

1364
01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 2: for humanity.

1365
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:47,439
Speaker 3: Around the world?

1366
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 1: For sure. I mean travel is powerful, man Like, it

1367
01:05:55,800 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 1: just allows me to be a lot more humble, just

1368
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 1: in terms of just resource is things I have, things

1369
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:03,800
Speaker 1: I don't have, and just being a lot more grateful

1370
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:07,080
Speaker 1: because I've just seen people in just all phases of life,

1371
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:09,480
Speaker 1: you know, monetarily just you know, you see a lot

1372
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,440
Speaker 1: of things traveling, but also you get to just be

1373
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 1: able to appreciate just I don't know, just all races,

1374
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:18,240
Speaker 1: all walks of life. And you know, I feel like

1375
01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:21,080
Speaker 1: even just as a as someone that's black, traveling to

1376
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:24,760
Speaker 1: Africa highly encourage. I feel like you have a lot

1377
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:28,360
Speaker 1: more love for who you are and who you are.

1378
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,520
Speaker 7: Where have you been in Africa?

1379
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:44,600
Speaker 1: Ywanda, Morocco, Egypt, Nigeria, Ghana, Kenya, Ivorycoast, Tanzania. Wow, pretty sure? Egypt.

1380
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,000
Speaker 1: I'm probably missing places.

1381
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:50,080
Speaker 7: We have a lot of people from Africa.

1382
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:51,040
Speaker 3: It was just there.

1383
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 6: Then tune in to watch the podcast.

1384
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,640
Speaker 4: Just shout out to everybody in Africa who loves deer

1385
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:57,280
Speaker 4: future wife.

1386
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:03,360
Speaker 3: Didn't you post a video? Were you in Thailand? Did

1387
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:04,080
Speaker 3: you just post something?

1388
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:05,400
Speaker 1: And I was a Vietnam.

1389
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 2: Vietnam, Yeah, Vietnam, and you had got some suits right

1390
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:10,200
Speaker 2: and every by the time you spent too much on

1391
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:10,600
Speaker 2: the suits?

1392
01:07:10,760 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, like that that means you get you got like

1393
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:15,080
Speaker 3: several of them for a couple.

1394
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:20,720
Speaker 1: I got four tailored suits and to like shorts and

1395
01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,120
Speaker 1: shirt sets for six hundred and.

1396
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:28,560
Speaker 3: They said you spent too much. Uh, look like you

1397
01:07:28,640 --> 01:07:31,800
Speaker 3: got all that? Do you respond to comments?

1398
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:36,479
Speaker 1: Sometimes? Sometimes? But I never take it personal. Yeah, because

1399
01:07:36,480 --> 01:07:39,240
Speaker 1: you gotta understand people. It's social media people for projecting.

1400
01:07:40,040 --> 01:07:44,560
Speaker 4: Right, So when you get married, how will your platform

1401
01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:48,160
Speaker 4: change or will it include you and your wife traveling?

1402
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:48,360
Speaker 6: Now?

1403
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:52,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say it would definitely include my wife

1404
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:55,560
Speaker 1: and my family for sure, to the to the extent

1405
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:57,560
Speaker 1: that they would like to be included in you know

1406
01:07:58,320 --> 01:07:58,680
Speaker 1: for sure.

1407
01:07:58,880 --> 01:07:59,800
Speaker 3: That's good. That's good.

1408
01:08:00,160 --> 01:08:02,320
Speaker 2: Well, here's a moment for you to write down a

1409
01:08:02,560 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 2: key to love. You grab that box right there, there's

1410
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:07,880
Speaker 2: a piece of paper in the pen, and you write

1411
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:11,360
Speaker 2: down a key that you just want to leave us with.

1412
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,400
Speaker 2: You're gonna write it and you're gonna say, get the

1413
01:08:16,439 --> 01:08:19,080
Speaker 2: one that has the key in there. It should be

1414
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:23,120
Speaker 2: one with a key attached, isn't there all?

1415
01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:24,880
Speaker 3: Yeah? Perfect? Yeah? Right?

1416
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:27,000
Speaker 2: Write something can be a word, It can just be

1417
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:29,519
Speaker 2: one word. It can be a phrase, and then sign

1418
01:08:29,560 --> 01:08:30,760
Speaker 2: it something you want to leave with us.

1419
01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:36,839
Speaker 6: So hus BONDI, Yes, what did you think about today's episode?

1420
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:40,439
Speaker 2: Well, I love the fact that we just got back

1421
01:08:40,479 --> 01:08:44,600
Speaker 2: from Jamaica a couple of days ago and here we

1422
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:51,639
Speaker 2: are interviewing yes, yes, one, and so it's been really cool.

1423
01:08:52,479 --> 01:08:56,160
Speaker 2: Like you said, Jamaica is your happy place. And so

1424
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:59,519
Speaker 2: I just love the fact that Kamoy has curated a

1425
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:04,840
Speaker 2: life that he's dreamed of. He gets to visit everywhere,

1426
01:09:05,960 --> 01:09:10,320
Speaker 2: gets to travel for a living, and make a living

1427
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:14,720
Speaker 2: traveling for a living. A lot of times people don't

1428
01:09:14,720 --> 01:09:17,920
Speaker 2: even believe that this is even possible. So I'm glad

1429
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:22,000
Speaker 2: that he was able to believe in himself enough and

1430
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,800
Speaker 2: then do the work and invest in himself enough to

1431
01:09:25,520 --> 01:09:28,880
Speaker 2: go after his dreams as well as become a disciplined

1432
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:31,960
Speaker 2: man so that he can actually put the same intentionality

1433
01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:35,120
Speaker 2: that he puts behind every video that he's putting behind

1434
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,280
Speaker 2: himself as a man, so that he can get the

1435
01:09:37,400 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 2: love that God has planned for him.

1436
01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:42,640
Speaker 3: And I can't wait to meet this woman me too.

1437
01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 4: And I love how he said that when he was

1438
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:48,519
Speaker 4: thirty he thought he'd be married. Yeah, and so he

1439
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:50,960
Speaker 4: hopes to be married in the next two years, which

1440
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:53,040
Speaker 4: would make him forty. I think a lot of people,

1441
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:57,640
Speaker 4: a lot of men, get successful and they say that

1442
01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,920
Speaker 4: the goal that they had when they were younger is

1443
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:03,760
Speaker 4: no longer important because it pertains to family. So it's

1444
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:08,320
Speaker 4: really refreshing to hear a young man that's like, you

1445
01:10:08,439 --> 01:10:12,480
Speaker 4: know what, I'm keeping this goal and I'm exercising discipline,

1446
01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:15,760
Speaker 4: and i still want my family even though I've you know,

1447
01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:19,400
Speaker 4: become successful in this way. I'm not turning my back

1448
01:10:19,560 --> 01:10:23,600
Speaker 4: on the intentionality that I had while I might be

1449
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:25,320
Speaker 4: able to have what the world.

1450
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:28,600
Speaker 6: Sees as all of these options across.

1451
01:10:28,479 --> 01:10:29,439
Speaker 3: The planet, you know.

1452
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,919
Speaker 2: And I love the fact that he has a wherewithal

1453
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:34,519
Speaker 2: and know that had he gotten married before, he would

1454
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:35,000
Speaker 2: have been married.

1455
01:10:35,040 --> 01:10:37,439
Speaker 3: But he wasn't going to be faithful, you know. And

1456
01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 3: I look at it now because like you said, you

1457
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 3: weren't going to be faithful.

1458
01:10:41,160 --> 01:10:44,040
Speaker 1: All that I didn't say that I wasn't going to

1459
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:48,200
Speaker 1: be faithful things I don't know.

1460
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:49,519
Speaker 3: I don't say that.

1461
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:56,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, right, I don't know, to be honest,

1462
01:10:56,240 --> 01:10:58,920
Speaker 1: just to keep her real, to keep her real. How

1463
01:10:59,040 --> 01:10:59,960
Speaker 1: was it as mature back then?

1464
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:04,000
Speaker 2: And I think that now you will be just because

1465
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 2: you're being faithful to God before you have to be

1466
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 2: faithful to your wife. See, it's putting things in alignment.

1467
01:11:10,520 --> 01:11:13,599
Speaker 2: You're saying God, im be faithful to you with my body.

1468
01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:17,840
Speaker 2: You're operating in discipline so that now when you get

1469
01:11:17,960 --> 01:11:21,240
Speaker 2: married and your wife goes through whatever she goes through,

1470
01:11:21,320 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 2: like you said, the different phases of a woman, you

1471
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:26,040
Speaker 2: ain't gonna take it personally. You know that, Hey, I

1472
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:29,160
Speaker 2: had the freedom to go smash whoever I want the

1473
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:33,080
Speaker 2: smash while I was single before Covenant, and I decided

1474
01:11:33,320 --> 01:11:36,400
Speaker 2: in this season for a whole year to go against

1475
01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:40,160
Speaker 2: my body and my flesh. Now Covenant is going to

1476
01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:41,960
Speaker 2: be staring right in front of your face, and you're

1477
01:11:41,960 --> 01:11:43,519
Speaker 2: gonna be like, this's not worth it.

1478
01:11:43,840 --> 01:11:45,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, you realize it's just none of that stuff is

1479
01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:46,320
Speaker 1: worth it.

1480
01:11:46,520 --> 01:11:48,599
Speaker 3: Not worth it. You know it's not worth it at all.

1481
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:50,400
Speaker 3: What did you write down, King, I.

1482
01:11:50,479 --> 01:11:54,040
Speaker 1: Wrote down love is intentional, how you do anything, It's

1483
01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 1: how you do everything.

1484
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:58,599
Speaker 3: Facts. Facts, Oh why did you choose to right? Beck?

1485
01:12:01,800 --> 01:12:04,400
Speaker 1: I feel like if you really want to build like

1486
01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 1: true love and not just love that just off of

1487
01:12:07,479 --> 01:12:12,840
Speaker 1: feeling like a true strong foundation, you gotta understand literally

1488
01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:14,600
Speaker 1: how you do anything's how you do everything right, and

1489
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:17,200
Speaker 1: you gotta begin with the end in mind. So like now,

1490
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:22,520
Speaker 1: like although like I'm in the earlier part of my relationships,

1491
01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:24,800
Speaker 1: just like you, like I'm beginning with the end in mind.

1492
01:12:24,880 --> 01:12:26,759
Speaker 1: Like we be reading books together, so like we're reading

1493
01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:30,200
Speaker 1: Meta from Mars, Women from Venus together, Like we're reading

1494
01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:32,960
Speaker 1: the Bible together, We're going to church together, like any

1495
01:12:33,080 --> 01:12:38,360
Speaker 1: type of like miscommunication or like misunderstanding, like let's talk

1496
01:12:38,400 --> 01:12:42,320
Speaker 1: about it now, Like like any type of feeling, like

1497
01:12:42,439 --> 01:12:45,639
Speaker 1: let's talk about now. Let's have the hard conversations now.

1498
01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:48,920
Speaker 1: And I feel like when you make the decision to

1499
01:12:49,120 --> 01:12:51,800
Speaker 1: do that in the beginning, it's a lot easier to

1500
01:12:51,880 --> 01:12:53,160
Speaker 1: do it as time goes on.

1501
01:12:54,600 --> 01:12:57,479
Speaker 7: Yeah, the seven habits of highly effective people. I heard

1502
01:12:57,520 --> 01:13:00,680
Speaker 7: a lot of that. Yeah, yeah, I have, Like I.

1503
01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 4: Literally have those printed on the refrigerator. Yeah, golded book,

1504
01:13:05,000 --> 01:13:06,120
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

1505
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:07,280
Speaker 6: Did you sign your name?

1506
01:13:07,400 --> 01:13:08,200
Speaker 4: Oh I got to do that.

1507
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:14,280
Speaker 2: So we can know you know who dropped this this key,

1508
01:13:14,840 --> 01:13:16,880
Speaker 2: and so after you sign that, then just go ahead

1509
01:13:16,920 --> 01:13:19,240
Speaker 2: and hang it up in that center.

1510
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:23,280
Speaker 3: Wrong, man, this was some fun.

1511
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:24,760
Speaker 2: I love when I get a chance to talk to

1512
01:13:24,880 --> 01:13:26,519
Speaker 2: men and then comore. I want to tell you that

1513
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:28,640
Speaker 2: a lot of men are afraid to come on the

1514
01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:30,720
Speaker 2: podcast because a lot of men, you know, to be

1515
01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:34,120
Speaker 2: having these extracurricular activities going on that especially not going

1516
01:13:34,200 --> 01:13:36,000
Speaker 2: to come on there and say that they dating somebody

1517
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:38,960
Speaker 2: and all that, because then you may have a phone

1518
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:40,519
Speaker 2: call by three different women saying that.

1519
01:13:40,960 --> 01:13:44,560
Speaker 3: Also, I thank you for sharing about the relations It

1520
01:13:44,680 --> 01:13:47,360
Speaker 3: wasn't you which one of us was.

1521
01:13:47,400 --> 01:13:50,000
Speaker 6: It's like, wait a minute, I've known him for six months?

1522
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:51,840
Speaker 3: Was three years?

1523
01:13:52,200 --> 01:13:55,960
Speaker 1: That's crazy? Want that. I don't see that. I feel

1524
01:13:55,960 --> 01:13:57,519
Speaker 1: like it's hard to keep up with stuff like that.

1525
01:13:58,479 --> 01:14:01,240
Speaker 1: You try to build a business and you got yeah, like.

1526
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:03,040
Speaker 3: We got time for this too much?

1527
01:14:03,560 --> 01:14:06,400
Speaker 2: Kept on stage when viral saying that, saying how it

1528
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:08,880
Speaker 2: takes too much energy to be chasing booty and fat

1529
01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:14,920
Speaker 2: fat booty and that's a fact though too much it

1530
01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:18,800
Speaker 2: is talking about fat talking a good fat couchie girl

1531
01:14:18,800 --> 01:14:20,160
Speaker 2: in the in the DMS.

1532
01:14:20,240 --> 01:14:22,120
Speaker 3: You don't know what I really need in this business

1533
01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:23,519
Speaker 3: deal like, you.

1534
01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:24,120
Speaker 6: Can't help me.

1535
01:14:24,360 --> 01:14:25,120
Speaker 3: You can't help me.

1536
01:14:25,760 --> 01:14:26,719
Speaker 7: Where's your next trip?

1537
01:14:28,080 --> 01:14:29,720
Speaker 1: That's a good question, you know, it's interesting. So I'm

1538
01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:33,320
Speaker 1: a very last minute traveler, So like I could probably

1539
01:14:33,320 --> 01:14:36,200
Speaker 1: have answered for you. Next week, I'll be different. I'm

1540
01:14:36,240 --> 01:14:37,480
Speaker 1: a very I'm pret spontaneous.

1541
01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:40,240
Speaker 3: So how do I mean how does the deals come about? Though?

1542
01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:41,720
Speaker 3: So that's the thing.

1543
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:43,599
Speaker 1: So those would be the ones that are actually like planned,

1544
01:14:43,960 --> 01:14:46,519
Speaker 1: even though sometimes be last minute. Sometimes the tourism board

1545
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:49,800
Speaker 1: be like, hey, we got this fan trip in three weeks,

1546
01:14:49,840 --> 01:14:53,559
Speaker 1: are you available, And it's like depending on the price, yeah,

1547
01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:57,360
Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, but personal travel or like if

1548
01:14:57,360 --> 01:14:59,320
Speaker 1: I want to make like a film, like a dope documentary,

1549
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:02,880
Speaker 1: I have idea on Friday, I'll be on a flight

1550
01:15:02,960 --> 01:15:05,000
Speaker 1: by like Monday or Tuesday, really.

1551
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:11,640
Speaker 2: The whole other country. But your passport, look, yeah, t

1552
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:12,639
Speaker 2: I gotta get a new one.

1553
01:15:14,040 --> 01:15:16,800
Speaker 1: Thee Yeah, you don't staff like they used to.

1554
01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:17,200
Speaker 2: I know.

1555
01:15:17,760 --> 01:15:19,360
Speaker 3: She got mad we went to Jamaica.

1556
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:21,840
Speaker 7: They ain't give me a stamp.

1557
01:15:21,960 --> 01:15:24,400
Speaker 3: She was about get them people a hard time talking

1558
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:25,800
Speaker 3: about I want to stand and say, well, we don't

1559
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:28,120
Speaker 3: do that. We did the paper.

1560
01:15:28,479 --> 01:15:29,280
Speaker 6: Give me this paper.

1561
01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:33,519
Speaker 1: It lasts longer. Now what the passports, because if you're

1562
01:15:33,520 --> 01:15:35,280
Speaker 1: getting stamps all the time, then you got to keep

1563
01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:40,720
Speaker 1: getting newings. I got it stored after filled up. I'm

1564
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:42,679
Speaker 1: not going to see the country in one African country.

1565
01:15:42,720 --> 01:15:44,280
Speaker 1: They tried to extore me and say, listen, we don't

1566
01:15:44,320 --> 01:15:45,960
Speaker 1: got no space, but if you give us some money,

1567
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:46,719
Speaker 1: we'll find space.

1568
01:15:48,360 --> 01:15:50,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know.

1569
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:52,600
Speaker 3: They said to put a stamp on it.

1570
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:56,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'd give a couple hundred dollars to find space.

1571
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:57,920
Speaker 1: Don't see that? Go back home?

1572
01:15:58,439 --> 01:15:58,679
Speaker 3: Really?

1573
01:15:59,000 --> 01:15:59,200
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1574
01:15:59,479 --> 01:15:59,920
Speaker 3: Did you give it?

1575
01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:04,880
Speaker 1: Yes, you have to give And I tried to negotiate too.

1576
01:16:05,040 --> 01:16:08,400
Speaker 3: He was like no, And I was like, you got it.

1577
01:16:08,640 --> 01:16:09,040
Speaker 3: I mean.

1578
01:16:11,439 --> 01:16:13,720
Speaker 1: Here, I'm ready here.

1579
01:16:15,760 --> 01:16:16,120
Speaker 3: That is.

1580
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:19,080
Speaker 7: I spent.

1581
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:21,360
Speaker 2: You If you wrote a book about your travel adventures,

1582
01:16:21,640 --> 01:16:25,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you guys re write a book.

1583
01:16:25,800 --> 01:16:26,559
Speaker 1: It's a good idea.

1584
01:16:26,760 --> 01:16:27,360
Speaker 6: Oh you don't have it.

1585
01:16:27,439 --> 01:16:30,600
Speaker 3: I thought it was you got to Yeah, because you

1586
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:33,439
Speaker 3: can share some stuff that would be like powerful.

1587
01:16:33,560 --> 01:16:36,320
Speaker 1: Yes, there's some good time because you don't seen nothing.

1588
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:38,040
Speaker 3: If you haven't seen uh.

1589
01:16:38,520 --> 01:16:41,000
Speaker 6: And then do you ever like record the people or

1590
01:16:41,080 --> 01:16:42,600
Speaker 6: do any like I know.

1591
01:16:44,200 --> 01:16:46,320
Speaker 3: Doing this long form? I started doing a lot of

1592
01:16:46,360 --> 01:16:47,400
Speaker 3: interviews with folks.

1593
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:50,080
Speaker 4: Like you said, recorded people, like like just conversations with

1594
01:16:50,240 --> 01:16:51,880
Speaker 4: them and how they live.

1595
01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:55,200
Speaker 1: And yeah, for sure I did this. No video. So

1596
01:16:55,360 --> 01:17:00,519
Speaker 1: like there's a Jamaican community in Ethiopia and pretty much

1597
01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:04,880
Speaker 1: like years ago the highly Selassie the Emperor at the time,

1598
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:08,080
Speaker 1: he had like they were like going through like war.

1599
01:17:08,120 --> 01:17:10,360
Speaker 1: I want to see it with Italy and like the

1600
01:17:10,439 --> 01:17:13,280
Speaker 1: African diaspora like helped them out a little bit. So

1601
01:17:13,439 --> 01:17:16,200
Speaker 1: they had pretty much gave out all this free land

1602
01:17:16,800 --> 01:17:19,240
Speaker 1: to like different you know, black people from different countries

1603
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:23,120
Speaker 1: and like a lot of Jamaicans, Rasafarians, food Ethiopia to

1604
01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:25,920
Speaker 1: pretty much live in this area. It's called Shasha Mini Wow.

1605
01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:29,519
Speaker 1: And he like this whole community Jamaicans, Jamaican restaurants they

1606
01:17:29,960 --> 01:17:33,560
Speaker 1: like on their third fourth generation. Yeah yeah, and I

1607
01:17:33,640 --> 01:17:35,599
Speaker 1: had like interview people out there talking about their stories.

1608
01:17:35,640 --> 01:17:36,719
Speaker 1: It was really very interesting.

1609
01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:39,800
Speaker 6: Yeah, got a documentary on your hands.

1610
01:17:39,880 --> 01:17:46,200
Speaker 2: Yeah we can start doing on Netflix. Yeah documentary. Yeah,

1611
01:17:46,240 --> 01:17:49,519
Speaker 2: that's dope. So again, thank you for your transparency Kmore

1612
01:17:49,560 --> 01:17:52,160
Speaker 2: and made the love you share the day outlive.

1613
01:17:51,840 --> 01:17:54,360
Speaker 4: The season you're in may carry you through the days

1614
01:17:54,520 --> 01:17:57,240
Speaker 4: when words are few and faith has to.

1615
01:17:57,320 --> 01:17:57,840
Speaker 7: Do the talking.

1616
01:17:58,040 --> 01:17:59,000
Speaker 3: Y'all give it up for my boy.

1617
01:17:59,120 --> 01:18:06,880
Speaker 2: Kamore Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective Services in

1618
01:18:06,960 --> 01:18:07,639
Speaker 2: twenty fifteen.

1619
01:18:08,320 --> 01:18:10,640
Speaker 3: My nephew Black a.

1620
01:18:10,720 --> 01:18:14,960
Speaker 2: Boy the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim

1621
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:20,400
Speaker 2: to none. Rmione sixteen years old black, a boy with

1622
01:18:20,600 --> 01:18:23,160
Speaker 2: five years in the false care system before I even

1623
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:27,760
Speaker 2: knew his name. The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep,

1624
01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:32,960
Speaker 2: you guessed it. Slim to none. While Ladarian and Ourmione

1625
01:18:33,080 --> 01:18:36,120
Speaker 2: were trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated

1626
01:18:36,160 --> 01:18:39,240
Speaker 2: and underfunded false care system, I was living my own life,

1627
01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:42,439
Speaker 2: doing well professionally, having been a single father with a

1628
01:18:42,560 --> 01:18:44,120
Speaker 2: daughter who at that point was doing.

1629
01:18:44,040 --> 01:18:46,400
Speaker 3: Well in college. It was my time to live my

1630
01:18:46,520 --> 01:18:48,280
Speaker 3: life right wrong.

1631
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:55,200
Speaker 2: I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just two many

1632
01:18:55,400 --> 01:18:58,840
Speaker 2: of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the

1633
01:18:58,920 --> 01:19:02,320
Speaker 2: limbo of the false care system. In twenty seventeen, I

1634
01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:04,360
Speaker 2: legally adopted my nephew Ladarian.

1635
01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:06,320
Speaker 3: Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

1636
01:19:06,360 --> 01:19:08,519
Speaker 2: I had no ties to this other young king, but

1637
01:19:08,600 --> 01:19:11,160
Speaker 2: I felt God instructed me to adopt them also in

1638
01:19:11,240 --> 01:19:15,240
Speaker 2: albab Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right,

1639
01:19:15,360 --> 01:19:18,120
Speaker 2: working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

1640
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:21,200
Speaker 2: bring awareness to the countless young Black kings and the

1641
01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:25,759
Speaker 2: foster care system should have decreased My agitation right joined

1642
01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:28,880
Speaker 2: the Board of Directors of advantage adoption in organization that

1643
01:19:28,960 --> 01:19:32,280
Speaker 2: helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in falster care

1644
01:19:32,439 --> 01:19:34,280
Speaker 2: should have led to some type of resolve.

1645
01:19:34,439 --> 01:19:38,760
Speaker 3: Right, No, not at all. None of it felt like

1646
01:19:38,960 --> 01:19:39,960
Speaker 3: I had done enough.

1647
01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:45,120
Speaker 2: I now realized that every one of those experiences was

1648
01:19:45,240 --> 01:19:49,639
Speaker 2: land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission. Kingdom Royal.

1649
01:19:50,600 --> 01:19:53,240
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

1650
01:19:53,320 --> 01:19:56,479
Speaker 2: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

1651
01:19:56,520 --> 01:19:59,479
Speaker 2: the Dallas Fort Work Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

1652
01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:04,200
Speaker 2: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

1653
01:20:04,439 --> 01:20:08,519
Speaker 2: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that

1654
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,800
Speaker 2: they thought were impossible.

1655
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:12,160
Speaker 3: Though.

1656
01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:14,360
Speaker 2: The young Kings will attend the local public schools that

1657
01:20:14,439 --> 01:20:17,679
Speaker 2: are in proximity to kingd of Royale. Our at home

1658
01:20:17,760 --> 01:20:21,320
Speaker 2: curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts,

1659
01:20:21,479 --> 01:20:26,280
Speaker 2: attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted

1660
01:20:26,360 --> 01:20:31,000
Speaker 2: discussions about current events and even relevant historical contexts. Introducing

1661
01:20:31,080 --> 01:20:34,240
Speaker 2: them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our

1662
01:20:34,360 --> 01:20:38,320
Speaker 2: animals on our form and on site stables. We just

1663
01:20:38,479 --> 01:20:41,880
Speaker 2: launched our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising

1664
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,960
Speaker 2: two point eight million dollars. Now why two point eight

1665
01:20:44,000 --> 01:20:47,320
Speaker 2: million dollars? Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a web

1666
01:20:47,439 --> 01:20:50,320
Speaker 2: series in which I performed random acts of kindness for

1667
01:20:50,479 --> 01:20:53,760
Speaker 2: targeting the homeless community. One of the most notable successes

1668
01:20:54,000 --> 01:20:55,360
Speaker 2: was that one of the videos went.

1669
01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:58,759
Speaker 3: Viral, garnering twenty eight million views.

1670
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:02,000
Speaker 2: However, one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't

1671
01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:05,000
Speaker 2: raise a single dollar to help in implementing a more

1672
01:21:05,080 --> 01:21:08,880
Speaker 2: sustainable plan for the homeless community. So throughout the years,

1673
01:21:09,760 --> 01:21:13,559
Speaker 2: with much remorse, I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment.

1674
01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:15,320
Speaker 3: I knew if at that time.

1675
01:21:15,720 --> 01:21:18,680
Speaker 2: Just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

1676
01:21:18,760 --> 01:21:22,200
Speaker 2: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

1677
01:21:22,360 --> 01:21:24,800
Speaker 2: that could have really established long term support for the

1678
01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:28,600
Speaker 2: homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative

1679
01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:29,000
Speaker 2: to do so.

1680
01:21:30,080 --> 01:21:34,160
Speaker 3: This is my do over, this is our new beginning.

1681
01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:37,840
Speaker 2: Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically

1682
01:21:37,960 --> 01:21:43,080
Speaker 2: helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented

1683
01:21:43,280 --> 01:21:44,920
Speaker 2: in the American fossil care system.

1684
01:21:45,640 --> 01:21:46,880
Speaker 3: I'm a Terrasarwiodfield.

1685
01:21:46,880 --> 01:21:50,280
Speaker 2: I've been nominated for three Regional Emmys, documenting my work

1686
01:21:50,320 --> 01:21:53,240
Speaker 2: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

1687
01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:58,240
Speaker 2: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

1688
01:21:58,400 --> 01:22:04,080
Speaker 2: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot

1689
01:22:04,160 --> 01:22:06,360
Speaker 2: com for more details, crown.

1690
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:16,360
Speaker 3: A king and make a donation today. I hope you

1691
01:22:16,520 --> 01:22:19,040
Speaker 3: enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

1692
01:22:19,200 --> 01:22:24,719
Speaker 2: Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving.

1693
01:22:25,160 --> 01:22:27,439
Speaker 2: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and

1694
01:22:27,479 --> 01:22:31,320
Speaker 2: YouTube channels. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Little Podcasts, Spotify,

1695
01:22:31,360 --> 01:22:34,679
Speaker 2: and Stitcher. You welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts

1696
01:22:34,720 --> 01:22:35,679
Speaker 2: with your friends and family.