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Speaker 1: I was ready to enjoy the benefits of marriage before

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Speaker 1: I was ready to be a good husband. Mm hmmm.

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Speaker 2: Say, plainly, he wanted to do what married people wanted

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Speaker 2: to do without the covenant of the minute. If the

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Speaker 2: covenant and I was saved, save you here, y'all say

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Speaker 2: you got you gotta marry me?

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Speaker 3: Did your parents ever say, y'all get married to young

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Speaker 3: They didn't.

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Speaker 4: Know, They didn't know.

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Speaker 2: I lied and told my mother that I was going

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Speaker 2: to a friend's wedding, and we went to the Justice

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Speaker 2: Peace and got married.

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Speaker 3: How did y'all break the news of them? Oh?

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Speaker 2: My god, that's a story too. I don't lie to

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Speaker 2: my parents. My father's from Brooklyn, he don't play got

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Speaker 2: him on the phone.

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Speaker 4: Did he threaten you?

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Speaker 1: He's the first person to introduce me to the word kneecaps.

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Speaker 1: He was always threatening to bust off my kneecap. Huh.

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Speaker 3: How did it take to restore that.

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Speaker 2: We were still living separately? And so, yeah, you was

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Speaker 2: acting like we was living separate.

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Speaker 3: How did you act like I was living separately?

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Speaker 1: I think we should have had a conversation before we

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Speaker 1: had this conversation.

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Speaker 3: Well to their future wifey podcast, My Home is JJ

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Speaker 3: and Trina Harrison. Y'all you yes, sir? Did you know

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Speaker 3: that song was gonna take off like the No Way?

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Speaker 1: Right before it they dropped us from the record label,

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Speaker 1: so I own the own master or the next record

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Speaker 1: we put out.

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Speaker 3: In that record was you deserve it?

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Speaker 1: See what I was gifted, but my lifestyle did not

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Speaker 1: align with my gift.

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Speaker 3: Here's what the switch happened.

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Speaker 1: I'm at a conference and Cheryl Brady's preaching at that moment.

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Speaker 1: I promise you, the Holy Spirit spoke to me louder

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Speaker 1: than any song.

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Speaker 3: I've ever heard.

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Speaker 1: He said, you're ignoring your favor. A man that finds

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Speaker 1: a wife, finds a good thing and obtain a favor

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Speaker 1: with the Lord. Let me say this, this is not

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Speaker 1: how marriages are. Oh no, we don't want you to

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Speaker 1: do it. We don't want you to do like we do.

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Speaker 1: Not be like us in those Go to pre marital counselor.

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Speaker 2: And don't ignore the red flags, the yellow flags, don't

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Speaker 2: ignore no flags.

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Speaker 1: We don't want anybody to think that the way we

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Speaker 1: started is the model way.

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Speaker 3: It is not.

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Speaker 1: But we do say our marriage is a miracle, although

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Speaker 1: it started one way. Here we are pastoring together doing

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Speaker 1: some amazing things, but together.

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Speaker 3: Why you believe God didn't release you to leave him?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 3: The Dear Future Wife podcast has global impact.

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Speaker 2: From Texas, I have been on this journey of healing

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Speaker 2: and self discovery and this podcast has been a vital

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Speaker 2: part of my process.

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Speaker 1: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 1: founding authentic spirituality.

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Speaker 3: California.

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Speaker 5: I learned so much as a single man through your

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Speaker 5: podcast and continue to learn so much as now a

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Speaker 5: married man Nigeria.

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Speaker 1: This is just therapy for me. You know, I've been healed,

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Speaker 1: I've been strengthening in my convictions on the st to

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Speaker 1: do single hoop better.

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Speaker 2: Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible

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Speaker 2: for a.

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Speaker 6: Man to be as intentional as you are.

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Speaker 3: New Jersey.

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Speaker 4: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 1: life after divorce.

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Speaker 3: To New York.

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Speaker 2: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give

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Speaker 2: me hope and urge that God does have a.

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Speaker 3: Husband for me discover, uncover and recover love. I'm Laterra

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Speaker 3: Saar Whitfield and this is season ten of the Dear

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Speaker 3: Future WiFi podcasts. Welcome to a Diar Future Wifie Podcast.

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Speaker 3: I'm your host, La Teri Sar Whitfield. Listen, are you

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Speaker 3: still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking up

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Speaker 3: with us, can we get a commitment? Hit that subscription

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Speaker 3: button and subscribe. Make sure you're telling your notification bell

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Speaker 3: should be notified about upcoming episodes. Listen, man, this season

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Speaker 3: has been absolutely amazing, absolutely amazing. But while we're at it,

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Speaker 3: I want to tell you about this amazing book that

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Speaker 3: I have coming out called Student of Love. How may

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Speaker 3: you know that love isn't about finding the right person,

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Speaker 3: It's about becoming the right person. So it means that

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Speaker 3: we need to do the work so that we can heal.

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Speaker 3: This book was written out of different stories, different guests

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Speaker 3: that have been on the podcast, different gems and nuggets

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Speaker 3: that I've taken away from the podcast and used it

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Speaker 3: in my fabric of love. And so what I want

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Speaker 3: you to do is pre order this book. Why pre

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Speaker 3: order is so important is because it lets the big

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Speaker 3: box stores know that this book is a highly anticipated

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Speaker 3: book and it makes them order more books from the publisher.

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Speaker 3: So let's all become Student of Love. Matter of fact,

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Speaker 3: watch this promo right now. I was married, cheated, blown

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Speaker 3: out of marriage. These eyes have seen the pain of failure,

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Speaker 3: but also the possibility of redemption. These ears have heard

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Speaker 3: the lies you'll never change, but they've also caught the

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Speaker 3: whisper of truth. But Terris, you can learn love on

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Speaker 3: the level you've never known. This finger once carried a

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Speaker 3: vow I wasn't ready to honor. Today is empty, but

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Speaker 3: it's unashamed. It's waiting on a covenant I'll protect with wisdom.

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Speaker 3: I'm no expert. I'm just a fellow student. I've sat

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Speaker 3: and loves clas even spend time with detention. But now

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Speaker 3: I live with intention. That's why I wrote Student of Love,

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Speaker 3: because learning love never ends. Sit next to me and

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Speaker 3: cheat off of my paper. Cheat Tony shall use a

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Speaker 3: better word. Let's just cut to the chase. Pre order

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Speaker 3: this book and start the journey on becoming a true

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Speaker 3: student of Love. Class it's now in session. So again,

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Speaker 3: it's been a great honor to have doctor Gary Chapman

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Speaker 3: write the ford to the book. For those who may

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Speaker 3: not know doctor Gary Chapman. Is y'all know about the

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Speaker 3: five love languages, don't you? And so for him to

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Speaker 3: read this book and say this book is going to

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Speaker 3: change the world. Let me tell you something that was

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Speaker 3: a huge guidewink to have doctor Gary Chapman, the one

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Speaker 3: who wrote the Five Love Languages and sold over twenty

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Speaker 3: million books over the last thirty years this book. So

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Speaker 3: make sure that y'all pick up this book well, man,

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Speaker 3: I am so excited about the guests on today's episode. Man,

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Speaker 3: they are power houses in the gospel arena. I just

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Speaker 3: love them. As a matter of fact, we just gonna

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Speaker 3: jump right on in so well to Dear Future Wifie podcast.

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Speaker 3: My home is JJ and Trina Harrison.

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Speaker 1: Y'all man so honored to be here.

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Speaker 3: So what made y'all decide to want to be on

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Speaker 3: the Dear Future Wife Podcast?

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Speaker 1: Man, I've been watching and paying attention, and the way

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Speaker 1: you've been ministering through this podcast has just been incredible

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Speaker 1: to see, especially for us who are great proponents of

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Speaker 1: marriage and wellness at home and wellness and the home.

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Speaker 1: I'm just so grateful that you've taken this opportunity to

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Speaker 1: help homes across the world.

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Speaker 7: So we're honored to be apart.

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Speaker 3: I went and google one of my favorite songs that

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Speaker 3: was by you, and it was to my shock to

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Speaker 3: my surprise that on YouTube that song has one hundred

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Speaker 3: and forty four million views. You is, yes, sir, yeah,

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Speaker 3: when I tell you, that song have me in a choke?

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Speaker 1: Hold?

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Speaker 3: Wow, where did that song come from?

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Speaker 1: So there's a young man named David Bloom lives in Fayetteville,

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Speaker 1: North Carolina, had an issue that he was working through,

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Speaker 1: and instead of going into a depression, he sat down

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Speaker 1: on the keyboard and started saying, Lord, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: praise my problems.

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Speaker 3: My Hallelujah belongs to you, my hallelujah.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I.

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Speaker 3: That song had me in chuckle. Can you just bless

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Speaker 3: the people with a little little little piece of that?

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Speaker 7: You want me to.

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Speaker 1: Say, yeahllelujah that it owns to you.

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Speaker 8: You thezer Man, You thezern you deezer Man, you thezer Man.

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Speaker 3: Did you know that song was gonna take off like that?

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Speaker 3: No way.

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Speaker 7: So here's the thing. When it was time to.

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Speaker 1: Record, we had this whole you know, fourteen songs celebration

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Speaker 1: of where we had been in God's music at the time.

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Speaker 1: And then I went to sing at this church and

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Speaker 1: I heard a little piece that you deserve it. So

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Speaker 1: that's when I said, well, you know, let me add

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Speaker 1: this in and see what it does.

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Speaker 3: Let me just add h Yeah. It was a last

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Speaker 3: minute thing.

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Speaker 1: The band didn't put any any injury energy into it because.

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Speaker 7: They were like, man, we done already.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 7: This is at the last minut literally two weeks before

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Speaker 7: the recording.

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Speaker 1: So we put it in and that night it was cool,

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Speaker 1: you know, no great impact. But then I was hosting

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Speaker 1: a worship conference. Actually you've conference at the church I

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Speaker 1: used to be a minister music at and I'll never forget.

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Speaker 1: Willie Moore Junior was there and Travis Green was the

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Speaker 1: main guest. Oh wow, yeah, and Travis got up and starts.

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Speaker 7: You know.

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Speaker 1: I sang it that night and then really got up

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Speaker 1: and said that's a number one song.

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Speaker 3: Bro.

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, okay, you know, we'll see. Travis

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Speaker 1: gets right up after me and sings it again. He

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Speaker 1: started singing, He started singing again. And then that Sunday,

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Speaker 1: Jonathan mcrenalds came and I heard about this song only

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Speaker 1: one weekend, and after that I said, well, maybe there's

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Speaker 1: something to this song. And that's when I realized the

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Speaker 1: impact was going to have. I still had no idea

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Speaker 1: that it would have an impact across the world. I

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Speaker 1: thought it would be something good for our genre in

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Speaker 1: the market here in the US, but man, all over

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Speaker 1: the world, that.

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Speaker 7: Song isna blessing people.

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Speaker 1: I'm just honored to be the person that released it

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Speaker 1: exploded across the world.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I knew the impact that

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Speaker 3: it had on my life. I knew what I heard

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Speaker 3: about it globally. But then right before you came in,

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Speaker 3: I said, let me just look and just see what

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Speaker 3: I said. One hundred and forty four million views.

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Speaker 1: Lord. Yeah, it was so the greatest moment I had

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Speaker 1: with that song. I was at home and I got

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Speaker 1: tagged in this video and it was like some African kids.

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Speaker 7: I didn't realize it was an orphanage in Africa.

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Speaker 3: All that place, and they always I love their video.

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Speaker 1: And they were singing you deserve it, and I mean,

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Speaker 1: and they sounded so amazing.

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Speaker 3: They sound beautiful.

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Speaker 1: But then you think about it, like what kind of

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Speaker 1: lives are these people living? But yet instill teach this

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Speaker 1: still saying God, you deserve it. Now here we are

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Speaker 1: we got Sometimes things aren't exactly what we want to be,

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Speaker 1: and we fall into sadness and depression. But these people

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Speaker 1: are in a very low state, but they still worship

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Speaker 1: God in spite of They still say God, you deserve it.

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Speaker 1: So how dare we have the meager problems that we

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Speaker 1: have and we shut our praise down? So no matter

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Speaker 1: what we're going through, we're going to tell God you

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Speaker 1: deserve the praise.

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Speaker 3: What do you think about that song? Training?

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I can say anything different from

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Speaker 2: what you all have already said. Is the song in

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Speaker 2: and of itself just sings straight. It just echoes the

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Speaker 2: sentiments of your heart. Even when you don't have a

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Speaker 2: whole chorus or you know a lot of words, you

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Speaker 2: can just say God, you deserve it.

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Speaker 1: But laters, let me tell you what the most amazing

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Speaker 1: testimony about that song is that nobody.

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Speaker 7: Knows as far as our relationship is concerned.

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Speaker 1: When it was time for that record to come out,

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Speaker 1: right before it, I was with a label and they

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Speaker 1: they said, Okay, we spent a lot of money on you.

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Speaker 1: It hasn't really come through to what we wanted to,

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Speaker 1: so they dropped us from the record label. Oh wow,

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Speaker 1: so then said prior to the song, prior to this record.

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Speaker 1: So it was like okay, cool, what am I supposed

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Speaker 1: to do now? They said, well, you can have your

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Speaker 1: own imprint, and you know you can release music on

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Speaker 1: your own.

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Speaker 3: Oh look at God.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, well I'll try to do

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Speaker 1: what we can. We recorded our own us. We had

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Speaker 1: to pay for everything, we had to package it. All

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Speaker 1: the stuff was on us to do. We had to

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Speaker 1: market it. And let's said, okay, at least you'll own

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Speaker 1: your own masters. So I own my own master or

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Speaker 1: the next record we put out, and that record was

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Speaker 1: you deserve it?

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Speaker 3: See what?

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Speaker 7: And here's a crazy thing. You see what God does.

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Speaker 1: We didn't have a marketing team. You know what we

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Speaker 1: did to get that song on radio? She said, I'll

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Speaker 1: market it. So she got on her changed my name

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Speaker 1: is Trina Salics, and she called calling radio about that song?

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Speaker 7: Is she got it to number one on radio?

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I got it. The song does

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Speaker 1: it by itself?

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Speaker 2: Though it's just one of those songs where anyone can

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Speaker 2: identify with it.

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Speaker 1: So the song did it? I was just the vehicle,

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Speaker 1: that's all.

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Speaker 3: So how do you feel like, even as a wife,

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Speaker 3: like to hear the record label saying we ain't got

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Speaker 3: no support behind you you're gonna go do it on

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Speaker 3: your own. How did you hear that?

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Speaker 4: I wasn't afraid. I was not afraid.

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Speaker 2: I knew who he was, or is I knew he

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Speaker 2: was JJ Harrison. And the main important thing about this

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Speaker 2: all is I knew that he had great relationships. Okay,

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Speaker 2: he's a nice He's genuinely a nice guy. Some of

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Speaker 2: the radio announcers became friends with him. So it was

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Speaker 2: just it was the favor of God all along. But

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Speaker 2: then it also speaks to the fact that you gotta

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Speaker 2: be nice to people in the music industry, especially in

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Speaker 2: the gospel music industry because it's a smaller industry. But

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Speaker 2: you have to be nice to people because you just

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Speaker 2: never know. You just never know when you're going to

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Speaker 2: need that extra push or anything. So because he had

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Speaker 2: great relationships and because I believed in him and his music,

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Speaker 2: I was not afraid.

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Speaker 3: That's good.

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Speaker 1: But what meant so much to me about that whole season, Literist,

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Speaker 1: is that instead of her looking at me like a failure,

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Speaker 1: she partnered with me to get to our next place

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Speaker 1: of success. That part, so I always give her the

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Speaker 1: credit because she didn't leave it up to me.

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Speaker 7: So well, you know this was your dream. It dropped.

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Speaker 1: Exactly.

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Speaker 7: She was like, let's make it happen together, and literally did.

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Speaker 1: She worked just as hard as I did to get

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Speaker 1: that songwhere it needed to be, and of course God

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Speaker 1: did the rest. But if I didn't have somebody to

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Speaker 1: partner with me, I don't know that that song would

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Speaker 1: have become what it needed to become.

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Speaker 3: It was just in time too, for you to be

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Speaker 3: able to own your own masters.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, man, that label told me. The representative who handled

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Speaker 1: the payouts, yeah, said that. The boss told her that

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Speaker 1: letting me go was the worst mistake that ever made period. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because that life, that record did better than all of

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Speaker 1: our previous records combined. To God. It was the timing

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Speaker 1: and everything was God.

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Speaker 3: That is amazing. How many years have y'all been married?

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Speaker 4: Thirty one thirty one thirty one years?

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Speaker 1: And we dated for I don't know if you call

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Speaker 1: that dating, but we did what we did for like

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Speaker 1: five years before we got married, if you could call

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Speaker 1: that dating, Because I was thirteen, he was fifteen.

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Speaker 4: Right, so you can't really consider that a date.

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Speaker 2: Our dating consisted of me sneaking down in my parents' office,

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Speaker 2: staying up on the phone to about eleven or twelve

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Speaker 2: o'clock and then you know, going back upstairs in my

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Speaker 2: room and fall asleep. That was our dates. Or we

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Speaker 2: would see each other at church because we went to

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Speaker 2: church together, so we would see each other at church,

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Speaker 2: and you know, sit real close at.

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Speaker 4: Church and did you get his arm around me without

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Speaker 4: somebody saying.

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Speaker 3: Little stockings?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Right right?

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Speaker 2: So that was the date and we did that for

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Speaker 2: like five years before we got married.

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Speaker 3: At what point did you know that she was the one?

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Speaker 1: This is gonna sound real corny, but I always knew

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Speaker 1: she was the one at that young age.

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Speaker 7: At the young age, say that.

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Speaker 1: You know some of it is because I think she

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Speaker 1: reminded me of my mother.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: And that's the same for I think that people say

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Speaker 1: that you look for your mother and your wife. That's

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Speaker 1: not a bad thing. Well, I mean, but the crazy

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Speaker 1: is my wife. My mother and I didn't have an

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Speaker 1: amazing relationship. Oh but I think I saw in her

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Speaker 1: what I wanted and it was so similar to what

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Speaker 1: I saw my mother. So I always knew, even at

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Speaker 1: a young age, she would be the woman I spent

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Speaker 1: the rest of my life with. What I didn't know

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Speaker 1: is how soon that would happen. I think I was

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Speaker 1: ready to enjoy the benefits of marriage before I was

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Speaker 1: ready to be a good husband.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmmmmmmm.

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Speaker 2: Say plainly, say a set of people, now, don't try

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Speaker 2: to dress it up.

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Speaker 1: Don't try to dress it up.

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Speaker 2: You wanted to do what married people wanted to do

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Speaker 2: without the covenant, without the covenant, and I was saved.

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Speaker 2: Save you here ya say you got you got to

356
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Speaker 2: marry me. Oh yeah, you got to marry me. Because

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Speaker 2: I was like, all right, get up. See how old

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Speaker 2: y'all got married?

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Speaker 4: Eighteen? I had just.

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Speaker 1: Eighteen, yeah, and I was going on twenty yes, going

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Speaker 1: on twenty.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Did your parents ever say y'all get married to

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Speaker 3: young whoa.

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Speaker 4: That's a story right there too.

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Speaker 1: They didn't know, they didn't know.

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Speaker 2: Well, they knew that we were planning to get married,

367
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Speaker 2: but again we were so young until they didn't take

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Speaker 2: us really seriously. I mean, I had all the bride books,

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Speaker 2: the magazines, I had sent out invitation to my bridal

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Speaker 2: party to be a part of this wedd I just

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Speaker 2: knew I was gonna have this big fairytale wedding. And

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Speaker 2: then it just didn't happen that way. We just eloped. Well,

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Speaker 2: I can't even say. We went downtown Ridgeport, Connecticut to

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Speaker 2: the Justice of the Piece. I lied and told my

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Speaker 2: mother that I was going to a friend's wedding.

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Speaker 1: And we went to the Justice Piece and got married.

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Speaker 1: And then how did y'all break the news to them?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's a story too. So here's a

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Speaker 1: bad part.

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Speaker 2: After we got married, I did spend the night out,

381
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Speaker 2: so we you know, consummated our marriage. And then I

382
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Speaker 2: went back to my house. He went to his house.

383
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Speaker 2: And so I had gotten a full time job. He

384
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Speaker 2: was part time. I think it was part time working

385
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Speaker 2: for an agency. He wasn't getting benefits. I had a

386
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Speaker 2: full time job and I was getting benefits, so I

387
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Speaker 2: wanted to put him on my benefits. I didn't know

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Speaker 2: how to fill out the paperwork. But right like a

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Speaker 2: couple of days before that, my brother had went to

390
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Speaker 2: my father and was like, you know, JJ was in

391
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Speaker 2: this house when y'all wasn't home. I don't know why

392
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Speaker 2: he read it me out because me and my brother

393
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Speaker 2: are really close. I don't know what no older, he's older,

394
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Speaker 2: but we're just a year, like a year apart.

395
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Speaker 1: And first, for whatever reason, he decided to tell.

396
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Speaker 7: I wanted to give him.

397
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Speaker 2: So when I went to show my father this paperwork,

398
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Speaker 2: my father actually wanted to talk to me, and he

399
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Speaker 2: was like, you know, Javaon told me that you had

400
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Speaker 2: JJ in this house. And I said, well, Daddy, anything

401
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,640
Speaker 2: me and JJ do. We got a right to do.

402
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Speaker 4: I just see, I was grown.

403
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Speaker 1: Good.

404
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,680
Speaker 4: I was like, well, I don't lie.

405
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Speaker 2: To my parents, so we have a right to do.

406
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 2: Once my father approached me, I couldn't. I couldn't lie.

407
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 2: I was like, this is your moment. You need the paperwork,

408
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,160
Speaker 2: this is your moment. So I told him, I said,

409
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Speaker 2: me and JJ went to the just a piece we

410
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 2: got married. And he just stared at me. And at

411
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Speaker 2: first you can tell he was in disbelief, and he

412
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Speaker 2: said he thought I was joking. He was like, well,

413
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Speaker 2: who did it? Did Yvon perform the ceremony? Like I

414
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,120
Speaker 2: was like, no, Dad, this is really really serious. So

415
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 2: it was like six or seven o'clock in the morning

416
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Speaker 2: and he called him.

417
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, he call got him on the phone. Did he

418
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Speaker 4: threaten you.

419
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Speaker 3: One of my father?

420
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Speaker 4: My father?

421
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Speaker 2: My father has gotten from Brooklyn. My father's from Brooklyn.

422
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 2: He don't play, so I think he did threaten you.

423
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,439
Speaker 2: That morning.

424
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Speaker 7: Yeah, but you know, he told me like, how did

425
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,360
Speaker 7: you do this to me? My fine in law? Amazing

426
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:58,160
Speaker 7: at him?

427
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:01,680
Speaker 1: He takes this person, Yes, not that y'all have made

428
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,800
Speaker 1: a coming it for the rest of your life. Look

429
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 1: at what you did to me, right, took his baby

430
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:14,240
Speaker 1: blessing order. But he's the first person to introduce me

431
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 1: to the word kneecaps, because I didn't know what a

432
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Speaker 1: kneecap is. He was always threatening to bust off my kneecaps.

433
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 3: Putting a lot of easis on the kneecaps.

434
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Speaker 1: But yeah, we've since after that, had really great relationships.

435
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,880
Speaker 3: How long did it take to restore that? You gotta

436
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 3: think about it? To marry someone's daughter without even asking

437
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 3: their blessing, that's like a slap in the face.

438
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Speaker 1: And so honestly, I don't even think it was that Honestly,

439
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 1: right after that Literarius, he would have been okay if

440
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: I would started to become a really good husband.

441
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:55,479
Speaker 2: Right, we were still living separately, and so, yeah, living separately,

442
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 2: So you was acting like we were living separately.

443
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Speaker 1: I clarify this. I was not acting like we lived separately.

444
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Speaker 1: So then that made my.

445
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Speaker 4: Father even more angry.

446
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Speaker 2: I think therefore, that's why he wanted to bust his kneecaps.

447
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 3: So, J, how did you act like separately?

448
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 1: I think we should have had a conversation before we

449
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 1: had this conversation.

450
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 4: No, you taught me to be real.

451
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: True story, The first ten years of our relationship, first

452
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 1: ten years of our marriage just did not go well.

453
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 4: Trash.

454
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 3: You were not. I was not a good husband.

455
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 4: And I don't even know that I was a great wife.

456
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 7: Okay I didn't. I didn't say that.

457
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 1: No, I'm being honest. I was more interested in being

458
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 1: legal than I was being a husband.

459
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 3: And I'm gonna tell you this, this is what happens

460
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 3: a lot of times with the way the Church raised us.

461
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 3: They say it's better than to to marry than to

462
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 3: burn with us. It's like, I'm burning with us. Let's

463
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 3: get married, fix fixed? Yeah exactly? Like why do? But

464
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 3: it's how we were taught. And I'm glad you're giving

465
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 3: language to this. So continue.

466
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 1: And you know what, I wish somebody would have told

467
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 1: me that if you get married, the lust doesn't go away.

468
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 3: That's what I'm talking about. You think that now I can,

469
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:22,680
Speaker 3: you know, do what I want to do.

470
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: It just puts more people in your bedroom exactly because

471
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: now the lust actually increases.

472
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 3: That's what I said, because you need to.

473
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 1: Learn how to disciple and discipline your flesh to be

474
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 1: locked in and loyal and committed to one person, and

475
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 1: the enemy is going to put everything in your way,

476
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 1: and we'll put everything in our own way to explore

477
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 1: other relationships and to be honest, that's what I did.

478
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 1: I was I was not faithful to my wife in

479
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: those first ten years, and I honestly didn't feel like

480
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: it was a big deal at the time because we

481
00:22:58,160 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: weren't We had never even lived together.

482
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 3: That just got married and live Yeah, yeah, you still

483
00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 3: living at home your mama, yes, or you know.

484
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 2: Eventually I moved out and got my own plate, so

485
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 2: can y'all kind of like they wanted us to. But

486
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 2: then they also knew that there was a lot going on.

487
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, right after the right after

488
00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 2: my father found out and we didn't live together, he

489
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 2: told me to get it annulled. I never even heard

490
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 2: of an annulment before, but he was like, Trina, you

491
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 2: gotta get this annulled. JJ don't want to be with you.

492
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 2: Y'all made a mistake. All of this kind of stuff,

493
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 2: and I just never did it.

494
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 4: I just never did it.

495
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 3: Now.

496
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, we did have a son in those same years mine,

497
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 1: so something was working. Something about this relationship was working.

498
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: Were supposed to have a conversation we were going to

499
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 1: talk about but you know, I had a son. He's

500
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 1: an amazing young man, and in those ten years I

501
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:01,120
Speaker 1: was we were still very raising, very intentional about raising

502
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: him the right way. So you know, I had my

503
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: own place. He had her place, you know, and he

504
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: would come to my place, and you know, we.

505
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 3: Would do all the things we would do. So y'all

506
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 3: was living like baby mama, baby dad. You were married, absolutely, yes,

507
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 3: you so you actually had your own place at this point, yes,

508
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 3: and she had her own places. Nobody thought about we

509
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 3: should live together, you.

510
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,920
Speaker 4: Know, because it was it was. It was so many

511
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 4: problems at that point.

512
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 2: And like again, we were young, and unfortunately but fortunately

513
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 2: I have to say, the church wasn't given me any advice.

514
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:40,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the only thing the church was saying is divorce.

515
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 4: This is not going to work.

516
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,400
Speaker 2: And I was so conflicted because you got to remember,

517
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 2: at the time you for Praise had started singing. We

518
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 2: we were I don't know if we were traveling yet,

519
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,439
Speaker 2: but we were at least known in like the Bridgeport area,

520
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:58,639
Speaker 2: maybe New York. And so I was conflicted because I

521
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: was singing songs about God being a healer. I was

522
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 2: singing songs God can work miracles. I was hearing these

523
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 2: great messages. God can do this, he can heal cancer,

524
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 2: he can do all of this. And I'm like, well,

525
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 2: why can't he heal my marriage? So I didn't know

526
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 2: what to do because I was caught between a rock

527
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 2: and a hard place. I had all of my mentors

528
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 2: and everything telling me you got a divorce. But then

529
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 2: I had something inside me, and at that time I

530
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 2: didn't have language for it, but I felt like it

531
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,639
Speaker 2: was like a little lion in the inside of me

532
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 2: that would roar, and I was the only person that

533
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 2: could hear this roar. And every time the word divorce

534
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 2: came up, or separation or I heard a new rumor

535
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 2: or something like that, that lion would roar, and that

536
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 2: lion would keep me from going to the courthouse and

537
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 2: from depression and things like that. I didn't have language

538
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 2: for it then, but now I know. Now, I know

539
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 2: that was the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit kept

540
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 2: me from leaving this man, and thank.

541
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 4: Thank god, he did.

542
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,119
Speaker 1: True story. So first, let me say this, this is

543
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: not how marriages are.

544
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 4: No, we don't want you to do.

545
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:12,040
Speaker 3: We don't want you to do like we do.

546
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 1: Not be like us in those years. Go to premrial

547
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: counselor find somebody who's willing to be loyal to you.

548
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: Make sure you understand the covenant and not just the benefit.

549
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 2: And don't ignore the red flags. Don't even ignore the

550
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 2: yellow flags. Don't ignore no flags.

551
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: We don't want anybody to think that the way we

552
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,040
Speaker 1: started is the model way.

553
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 3: It is not.

554
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 1: But we do say our marriage is a miracle because

555
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 1: although it started one way, here we are pastoring together,

556
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 1: counseling marriages together, doing some amazing things, but together. But

557
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: here's how it happened. Here's what the switch happened. I

558
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 1: was at a woman's conference. First of all, this is

559
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 1: why I tell people all the time, your gift and

560
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 1: your lifestyle.

561
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 7: Sometimes are not dependent.

562
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 1: Because I was gifted, but my lifestyle did not align

563
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 1: with my gift, and I was still able to be

564
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 1: effective gift wise while my life was in disarray. So

565
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: for a while I thought that was acceptable. And I'm

566
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 1: at a conference and Cheryl Brady's preaching and she gets

567
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: up to preach and she's talking about the story of Noah,

568
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 1: and she talked about how he went up and down

569
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 1: and the boat went through the whole storm, and then

570
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: he and then there's a scripture that says and God

571
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 1: remembered Noah. And she said, God hasn't forgot about you.

572
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what in that one scripture and God

573
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 1: remembered Noah shifted my perspective and shifted my life. And

574
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 1: at that moment, I promise you, the Holy Spirit spoke

575
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 1: to me louder than any song I've ever heard.

576
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,679
Speaker 7: He said, you're ignoring your favor.

577
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, but I'm in a.

578
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: Good place right now. But then the scripture is a

579
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,920
Speaker 1: good man, a man that finds a wife, finds a

580
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: good thing, and obtaining favor with the Lord. So I

581
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 1: realized that there was a level in the father level

582
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 1: of blessings that I was not tapping into, simply because

583
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 1: I wasn't being faithful to my wife and I wasn't

584
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: making a whole, a whole effort to be loyal to

585
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: my family, loyal to my wife, and I needed to change.

586
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 1: It had nothing to do with what she had to do.

587
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 1: It was everything about what I had to do. And

588
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: I say that because a lot of times we get married,

589
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,439
Speaker 1: we talk about what the other person has for us.

590
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: But I knew what I had to do for my relationship.

591
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: So at that moment, my one of my weekends with

592
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: my son, my son is at the house. I said, well,

593
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 1: J four, J four, I said, you know, me and

594
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 1: mom are gonna get back together and we I'm thinking,

595
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: I'm Superman, right, you know, he comes to my apartment,

596
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: we go get pizza, movies, we go to movies.

597
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 7: I got to say, ga Genesis. Yeah, but he laid

598
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 7: on my chest and cried.

599
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 1: And I didn't realize that as much as I gave

600
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: him Disney World every weekend, he wanted me with his mother.

601
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 3: Yes, So we got our lives together.

602
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 1: And then right after that, we recorded a record called

603
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 1: Loud the Praise Worship, and on that record there was

604
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:28,479
Speaker 1: a song called Incredible God, Incredible Praise. And everything started

605
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 1: to shift once me and my wife got back together.

606
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 3: Ye, Incredible God, Incredible Praise. Yeah.

607
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 7: So that's how that's our story. That's the first ten years,

608
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 7: the first.

609
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 3: Ten years, and why do you believe hindsight being twenty

610
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 3: twenty is probably an obvious question, But why you believe

611
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,959
Speaker 3: God didn't release you to leave him?

612
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 4: Oh there's so many answers for that. I have to

613
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 4: say that the first one is because it built me.

614
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 2: It did.

615
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: I would not be who I am today if I

616
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: didn't go through what I went through.

617
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 3: Then it.

618
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: Moved me from serving God because that's what was popular

619
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: to do, or that's the circle that I grew up in,

620
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 2: or even beyond the relationship that my parents have with God.

621
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 2: It moved it to a more personal relationship. Now I

622
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 2: was saved. I was saved at I think twelve years old.

623
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 2: We gotta say we gotta filled with the Holy ghost

624
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 2: twelve years old. But my relationship with God really started

625
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 2: when my marriage started going through. I don't know that

626
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 2: I would have the faith that I have. You cannot

627
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 2: convince me that there is anything that God won't do

628
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 2: because I could not.

629
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 1: I could not change his mind. I know everybody say, oh, the.

630
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: Heart to a good man is to feed him, or

631
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 2: the heart to a good man is just have sex

632
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 2: with him. Part to a good man and is doing

633
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 2: None of that worked for me. The only thing that

634
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 2: worked is prayer, And I mean travailing in prayer. I

635
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: got so desperate in prayer that one night I was

636
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,320
Speaker 2: expecting him to come home, but it was getting really late,

637
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 2: and I was starting to get worried. But I said,

638
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 2: you know what, Trina, You're not gonna worry. You're gonna

639
00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 2: get on your knees and you're gonna pray until he

640
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: comes through that door. And I want you to know,

641
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,640
Speaker 2: about twenty thirty minutes later, he came through that door.

642
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,360
Speaker 2: And I stayed on my face until he came through

643
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 2: that door. So all of those experiences I would not

644
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 2: have gained if I took the easy way out. And

645
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: I hate to say easy way out, because I know

646
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 2: for some people it is difficult.

647
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 4: It's hard.

648
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 2: But if I would have, if I would have gone

649
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: to get a divorce, it would not have built me

650
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 2: to face trials the way it has.

651
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 4: It would not have built the resilience.

652
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 2: And then I feel like everything that we see now

653
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 2: in ministry and everything we wouldn't have been that because

654
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,240
Speaker 2: we had. He had already told me that if we

655
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: had gotten a divorce, he was a rapper.

656
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 3: And so.

657
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 4: What is it I have to give you?

658
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 3: Can I give him a rap name? Please?

659
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: Let me release the rap name. It was devastating, Dominator.

660
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 3: It was double D, double D. I was dope back then.

661
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 3: It sounds really was. It wasn't secular. It wasn't secular.

662
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 3: It was it was it was.

663
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 2: It wasn't Christian wraps, it wasn't Christian repulard.

664
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 3: Let me tell you.

665
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: I was trying to be sinful, Like I was wearing

666
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 1: all black and tims everywhere, Like I'm literally a I

667
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: grew up in church, but I'm deciding that I'm going

668
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: to be a sinner. Right, so I'm dressing and all black.

669
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm calling myself to dominate and devastator. And I went

670
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: from that to say in awesome God, It's like, okay, dude,

671
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: you're confused.

672
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 2: Had we stayed together, it wouldn't have been you deserve it.

673
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: It would have been I don't know.

674
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 3: I don't know.

675
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 2: I don't know what it would have been. He would

676
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 2: he definitely would have moved back to New York. Yes,

677
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 2: his his family was New York. He would have moved

678
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 2: to Brooklyn. I would have stayed in Connecticut with my

679
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 2: parents and everything that God has blessed us with.

680
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,240
Speaker 3: Now, so why you say you wasn't a very good

681
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 3: wife the first ten years y'all married.

682
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 4: Oh, because I if I could go back and change

683
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 4: the way I I don't.

684
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 2: I don't even want to say the way I saw

685
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 2: marriage because my my mother was, my mother is a

686
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 2: great wife. I've always had good examples around me. But

687
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 2: I think that I would have been This is gonna

688
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 2: sound so cheesy, but I think I probably would have

689
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: been more attentive. I think I should have paid attention

690
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: to more things. Now, I am in no way saying

691
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,760
Speaker 2: that what he did was my fault.

692
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was not my fault. This is not my

693
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 4: doing and not my fault.

694
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 7: But I'm just thing we should have talked about I

695
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:19,800
Speaker 7: should have.

696
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 3: I'm not guided.

697
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna let no secrets out. I'm not gonna

698
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 2: let no secrets out. But all I'm saying is I

699
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:29,320
Speaker 2: wasn't prepared to be a wife. I was still a teenager.

700
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was still a girl. I still hung

701
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 2: out with my friends.

702
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 6: You graduated high school and got married exactly exactly, And

703
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 6: if I'm really being honest, it was because I was

704
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 6: trying to fulfill something in me.

705
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 4: Which was what I had very low self.

706
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 3: Esteem, So being married validated you.

707
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 1: It validated me. It made me feel like I could

708
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:54,800
Speaker 1: get a man too. Y'all can get a man, but

709
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: I could get a man too.

710
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 3: I get a man to marry me, marry me. Boyfriend

711
00:34:58,719 --> 00:34:59,399
Speaker 3: got right.

712
00:34:59,360 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 4: And here I am.

713
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: I'm eighteen years old married. Ain't none of y'all got

714
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,240
Speaker 1: that married?

715
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 2: So I feel like there's there's a whole there's a

716
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 2: great deal that I could have done better.

717
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 3: So j J, how do you feel hearing the recount

718
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 3: of this? Because it probably y'all probably don't share this

719
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 3: story often, So how do you feel?

720
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: You know, you know, I used to feel a lot

721
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: of shame, especially now. I try not to be the

722
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:33,279
Speaker 1: holier than that type guy.

723
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:34,520
Speaker 3: But I am.

724
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 7: No pride attached.

725
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 3: But I'm very.

726
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: Intentional about the lifestyle I live, and I want to

727
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 1: be a good example for my son.

728
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 7: I want to be a good example of my church

729
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 7: for my family.

730
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,839
Speaker 1: So I'm very intentional to the point where it gets

731
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: on people's nerves about what I will and will not do.

732
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 7: And I look back at who I was then I'm like,

733
00:35:58,320 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 7: that was so stupid.

734
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: And I just told her recently, if I would have

735
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: taken my life and ministry and my family more seriously.

736
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: Then there's ten years I would be I would have

737
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 1: been ahead of the game. I feel like I lost

738
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 1: ten years. But I also believe that it's in that

739
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:24,600
Speaker 1: story that I can help men who are at the

740
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 1: place where I'm like, you know where I was, like,

741
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 1: you know, maybe maybe this isn't for me, maybe I

742
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 1: made a mistake. I can now be the example like, hey,

743
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 1: I know you think you made a mistake, but this

744
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 1: is really what God has for your life, and you

745
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 1: just got to take it seriously. So I'm turning that

746
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:46,759
Speaker 1: shame into a testimony, and I'm able to be very

747
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,920
Speaker 1: transparent because you can't find no secrets about me. What

748
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: you're gonna find, I'm telling you, Yeah, I'm giving you

749
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: what you would look up. So I'm glad that we

750
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 1: get to share our testimony hopefully that somebody will feel hope,

751
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: like we start every.

752
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 7: Counseling session with our testimony.

753
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,800
Speaker 1: That's good just to break down the walls of I

754
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: can't really tell you the truth about where we are,

755
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 1: Like I'm telling you we were in the worst state

756
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: possible ten years and now here we are counseling you,

757
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:26,439
Speaker 1: telling you that a strong marriage is possible no matter

758
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: where you're coming from, and we got a pretty good

759
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 1: success rate of you know, people who were literally at

760
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,359
Speaker 1: the state of divorce and turned it around. I mean,

761
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 1: we had maybe one or two that didn't make it,

762
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: but for the most part, we've been doing pretty good

763
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: because we're able to be honest about where we were,

764
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: So where I would feel shame, I feel gratefulness because

765
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 1: we made it out and now we're able to help

766
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 1: somebody else.

767
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 3: Hmm. Wasn't it hard to actually start walking in this

768
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,439
Speaker 3: level of transparency and vulnerability, especially coming from the church,

769
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:05,120
Speaker 3: especially in the positions that you'll are uh in as pastors.

770
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 3: Do you feel like sometimes the world judges harsh And

771
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 3: of course the Bible says that, you know, leaders should

772
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 3: be held at a higher level. But of course you

773
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 3: wasn't no leader then. You were a little young.

774
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're a kid.

775
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:21,879
Speaker 3: So at the end of the day, people could hear

776
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 3: this and be like, well you should have known better.

777
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 3: You like, yeah, I should have What else? I'm just

778
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 3: just saying, well, I already said it. You know, I

779
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 3: like people be stuck in this craziness. But do you

780
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 3: feel like the reason why a lot of pastors aren't

781
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 3: as transparent and vulnerable because of the weight of the

782
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:39,959
Speaker 3: office in which they hope.

783
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 7: Absolutely.

784
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,840
Speaker 1: When we first started to share, like we wrote a

785
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,319
Speaker 1: book and I was like, I need to see your part.

786
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:49,839
Speaker 1: I want to I want to see what you're saying

787
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: about me. How deep are you getting? Like what are

788
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 1: you telling you? Because in my head I was gonna

789
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 1: be canceled, people gonna stop booking me, you know all that.

790
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,239
Speaker 1: I was like it at the end of the day,

791
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 1: if somebody gets free, I'll never forget. I think it

792
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: was two thousand and eighteen or nineteen when we released

793
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,800
Speaker 1: the book. We went on this tour book A Miracle Marriage,

794
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 1: and we talked about our story. That's why this is

795
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: none of this is even though it may feel new,

796
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 1: it's all like it's been documented. So we released the

797
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: Miracle Marriage Book and we went on this tour and

798
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: we called it a Love and Miracles Tour.

799
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 3: I like it.

800
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: And when we were going out because I saw a

801
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 1: miracle worker that rich Talbot Junior wrote. We were traveling

802
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 1: and singing it and we were going every city and

803
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: before every concert we had an hour we would ask

804
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 1: all a married couples in the area just come and

805
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,840
Speaker 1: let's talk. And we would share our story, and every

806
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 1: night some couple would say, you know, we didn't know

807
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 1: if we were going to make it. Yeah, it was real,

808
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: and your story helped us feel like we can have hope.

809
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: And that every little by little, every city took away

810
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 1: the fear I had of what would be the outcome

811
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: of my story coming out, and I was like, the

812
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 1: outcome is hope. The outcome is more marriages, having a

813
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 1: story and a testimony of deliverance. So while I was afraid,

814
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid anymore.

815
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 3: And that was how many years ago that, well, y'all

816
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:29,280
Speaker 3: all did the love and miracle?

817
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,840
Speaker 1: That was twenty nineteen, Yeah, twenty eighteen into twenty nineteen.

818
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 3: Then we started pastoring right after that. What what made

819
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 3: you decide to pastor? I know you're gonna say God

820
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 3: called me, but what what that's a story too, Yeah,

821
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 3: that's what we're hearing from the story his head.

822
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 8: Like.

823
00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 4: The story you were me, you could tell it.

824
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 2: So my dad had always not always, but occasionally, you know,

825
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 2: he and I JJ his relationship was restored obviously. So

826
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,680
Speaker 2: we were at the church and you know, serving under

827
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 2: my father, and my father would periodically tell him, you're

828
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,919
Speaker 2: called to pastor. Okay, you're running from it. You're called

829
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 2: to pastor?

830
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,440
Speaker 3: Was that confirmation for you, J?

831
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: It was a stop sign, a blow a bullhorn to

832
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 1: tell me to go in the other direction.

833
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 4: He was running.

834
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 2: As a matter of fact, we would we would on

835
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 2: the road while the choir was traveling, we would, you know,

836
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 2: just be playing around and call him pastor JJ and

837
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 2: he would get this real serious face on his look,

838
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,959
Speaker 2: this look on his face, and he was like, don't

839
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 2: call me that, do not call me a pastor. So

840
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 2: I don't know if he was doing that because he

841
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 2: felt it and he just didn't want anybody else to

842
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 2: see it or what it was. But we went on

843
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 2: this tour and we got a call from Matthew Stevenson

844
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 2: and at first he asked us if we wanted to

845
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 2: Pastor and Detroit and we were like, no way, that

846
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 2: God is not telling you that.

847
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:06,879
Speaker 4: I don't know where that's coming from.

848
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:13,240
Speaker 2: And then some time went by and then he called

849
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 2: again and he said, I'm going to start a work

850
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 2: in DC and I want you all to help me.

851
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 4: It was just as simple as that.

852
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 3: And he did.

853
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 4: He started the Bible studies in DC.

854
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 1: But so we were on the love a miracle tour

855
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: tour when that happened. So he said that to us.

856
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 1: And then so that was the day after we had

857
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 1: we had ended the tour in Connecticut. In Connecticut and

858
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 1: my father law was church and my father in law

859
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 1: after we finished, you know, I mean, it was every

860
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 1: night was supposed to be a concert. It was like

861
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: a revival every night. And he comes to me again,

862
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 1: said you're supposed to pastor, stop running. And then the

863
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 1: next day we get that call and.

864
00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 2: Let me tell you not to put my family business

865
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,480
Speaker 2: out there. But let me tell you why that's so

866
00:42:54,640 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 2: significant is because in two thousand and eighteen nineteen around there,

867
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 2: my father had started having some medical issues and his language.

868
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:11,320
Speaker 2: Now his language isn't as developed as what it was,

869
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:16,560
Speaker 2: but that was some of the last words that he

870
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:21,120
Speaker 2: was able to speak to him clearly. Now, my parents

871
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 2: were live in Connecticut at the time we were in

872
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 2: d C. So we didn't communicate with them all the time.

873
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 2: I mean I would call them just to see how

874
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 2: they're doing. But the last instruction he gave was to JJ,

875
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:38,439
Speaker 2: you're supposed to be a pastor, stop running. And then

876
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:39,760
Speaker 2: you're talking about the Matthews.

877
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 1: And then we get the call, so we start in DC.

878
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 1: This is right in the beginning of twenty twenty and

879
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,719
Speaker 1: God's been blessing whatever. And you know what, we know

880
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 1: we since transitioned. We're no longer under the ministry of

881
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 1: doctor Stevenson, but he's you know, he helped us to

882
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:54,919
Speaker 1: get started.

883
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 2: We will always give him honor for seeing and seeing

884
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: something inside of us and being bold enough to push

885
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 2: us out.

886
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 1: Yeah I was still fighting. Oh yeah, oh definitely, but

887
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: you know, look at what the Lord has done. Yeah,

888
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: and to be honest and let me take the beautiful

889
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 1: part of that whole story. You know, my father in law,

890
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 1: like we said, he pushed us, gave us that last instruction,

891
00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,480
Speaker 1: you know, started to have problems, and God has blessed

892
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 1: us so much that now we were able to move.

893
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 4: Now my mommy and dad lived with me, so.

894
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: We were able to build onto our house and now

895
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 1: they live with us. So it's just a full circle

896
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: story where initially he was someone busting out my kneecaps

897
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 1: and now he lives in the in law.

898
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 2: Suit and don't try him because even at his old agies.

899
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 2: We're in Maryland, we say d C because it's just

900
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 2: so close to d C. But we're actually in Maryland.

901
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 3: And so at what point did you decide I'm gonna

902
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 3: stop running. Was it just this chiros moment that happened

903
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,959
Speaker 3: in your life or was it just you just said,

904
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 3: all right, I'm gonna go ahead and just do this

905
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,439
Speaker 3: because some opportunity came.

906
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 7: I believe it was that tour in itself. I felt

907
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 7: like the.

908
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: Instruction from my father in law was just the It

909
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: was the confirmation of what the tour had told us,

910
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: because every night I got more excited about the opportunity

911
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 1: to teach share in part, more excited than I did

912
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: about the concert piece. The concert became, you know, the

913
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 1: revival after.

914
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 2: The time, I mean it was a revival. I like

915
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,879
Speaker 2: literally the first night of the revival, this little boy

916
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 2: came up, I think the video was still out there.

917
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 2: He got saved and mother was just crying and it

918
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:49,959
Speaker 2: was he was crying. And then we went to other cities.

919
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 1: About eight or nine, Yeah, little boy and he's literally

920
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 1: crying on the stage.

921
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 7: So I want to be saved, and I'm like, what

922
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 7: what is this?

923
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 3: What are you going through?

924
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,000
Speaker 7: And that's and that's the thing.

925
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: It's like, I really felt like in that moment, the

926
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 1: Lord was showing us that what he had given us

927
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: is not just for one generation, not for one age group,

928
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:15,800
Speaker 1: and it's not just music.

929
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 7: It's the opportunity to bring people to Him.

930
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:19,320
Speaker 4: Now, I had always seen it.

931
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 2: I didn't see myself in ministry in that way, but

932
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:27,800
Speaker 2: I had always seen myself as a first lady like I. No, no, no,

933
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 2: it's not we do this. We say, give me the praise,

934
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 2: give me praise. No, I'm not telling you to give

935
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 2: me praise. But I'm just saying that. It's just so

936
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:37,320
Speaker 2: funny how God is just bringing this back to my remembrance.

937
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,520
Speaker 2: It's just so funny how I always saw myself sitting

938
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:44,760
Speaker 2: on the front row and you apministering to people, not singing,

939
00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 2: but you administering to people.

940
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 3: So it's just didn't see it, but I didn't see it.

941
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 1: Moral the story is find those spouse that sees in

942
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:57,800
Speaker 1: you what you don't see in yourself. That part, because

943
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:01,439
Speaker 1: she she always called told me what I did not see.

944
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 1: She always called me a pastor, she always called me

945
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 1: a great man of God. And I'm talking about while

946
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,279
Speaker 1: I'm at my worst. She saw what I just did

947
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,040
Speaker 1: not see possible. She saw me as a husband when

948
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't even a good boyfriend. And now here we

949
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 1: are and I'm standing in what she saw.

950
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 3: You deserve it. I love it. You said thirty one

951
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 3: years of marriage.

952
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,839
Speaker 4: One anniversary July twenty ninth.

953
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 3: When you look back over thirty one years of marriage,

954
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 3: what would you say was the greatest lessons that you've learned.

955
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 3: I'm gonna ask you training and I'm gonna ask you, JJ,

956
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 3: who's the greatest lesson? If you say top three?

957
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 4: My number one is give each other permission to fail.

958
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 4: That's good, Yeah, And then.

959
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:03,960
Speaker 2: Over communicate and undercommunicating and the third and I think

960
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 2: it holds just as much weight, be honest, Yeah, JJ.

961
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 1: Number one would be trust is not a door, it's

962
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 1: a building. You don't walk in it. You gotta build it.

963
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,840
Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, you talk about from the beginning, from.

964
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 1: The beginning, you got to build trust and when you

965
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: break it, you got to rebuild it. You can't just

966
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,280
Speaker 1: have an expectation. Well, I said, I I said, I'm sorry,

967
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: you know you got to that. Yeah, you got to

968
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:37,920
Speaker 1: rebuild that trust. Number two is don't assume that your

969
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:42,320
Speaker 1: spouse knows that communication piece is So I think we

970
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 1: have this thought of mind reading, you know, like you

971
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: know me, Like, yeah, but you got to tell me

972
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 1: what you need.

973
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 7: I got four. I'm sorry, give me all of them.

974
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 7: Number three years.

975
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:54,239
Speaker 3: Yeah.

976
00:48:54,400 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 1: Number three is you can never forgive in need less

977
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:07,760
Speaker 1: than you can be forgiven. I was good at being forgiven.

978
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,880
Speaker 1: I was terrible at forgiving. That's good, Yeah, because I

979
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: do have to add he had to forgive me too.

980
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not perfect. I made some mistakes, so

981
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 1: but I was glad that in his season I was

982
00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:25,799
Speaker 1: able to forgive him, so that in my season of era,

983
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 1: I can say, well, I need you to forgive me

984
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: because I've forgiven you.

985
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:35,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you said you on the on the receiving

986
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 3: end of forgiveness, you do an amazing job. But being

987
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 3: able to be the giver of forgiveness, she was like, yeah, no,

988
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 3: my family was known for that. We were known for.

989
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, literally, my my father and my uncle stopped

990
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:55,720
Speaker 1: speaking twenty years before my father died, and they died

991
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 1: not speaking to me years. They saw each other on

992
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 1: the street and would not twenty years years years. Yeah,

993
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 1: you can't hold no grudge like a Hairston. Listen, we

994
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: got we got your covered. Do you want to stop speaking, no, brow,

995
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:19,880
Speaker 1: I got your problem. Yes twenty yes, absolutely, yes. I

996
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: remember at my dad's funeral, one of one of the cousins,

997
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 1: God said, we got to do better, y'all.

998
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 4: Typical funeral.

999
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 3: We want to do this now. We're not giving now.

1000
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, it was. We're just known for not

1001
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 1: forgiving each other. We're known for holding grudges and even now,

1002
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:50,799
Speaker 1: like when we do something and our loudest arguments are

1003
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:53,960
Speaker 1: the quietest ones. Yeah, like where we'll walk around and

1004
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 1: not speak. That's a real argument when we when we

1005
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 1: go at each other, that's a dispute.

1006
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, argue a.

1007
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 2: Silent speak, don't speak so and that burns me because

1008
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 2: again I will over communicate. I got that New York

1009
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 2: blood and me, we're gonna talk about this, and we're

1010
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 2: gonna talk about it now.

1011
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:13,360
Speaker 4: And he goes silent.

1012
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,319
Speaker 1: But I had to start stop using my silence as

1013
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 1: a weapon. So it was that forgiveness peace, I had

1014
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: to come do better. At and number four, which is

1015
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 1: the most important. There's a couple at our church. They've

1016
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 1: been married sixty five years and amazing. Today is pop

1017
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: Norman's birthday. Norman and Kathy pro Coli he said something

1018
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 1: in one of our marriage nights that changed my perspective.

1019
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 1: It's something I've done, but I didn't realize I've done.

1020
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 1: He said, the reason why we've been successfully married for

1021
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,320
Speaker 1: sixty five years is because I've been married ten times

1022
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: to the same person.

1023
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 3: That's real.

1024
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:53,879
Speaker 7: And I was like, what does that mean?

1025
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:57,719
Speaker 1: He said, I've had to accept the new version of

1026
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: my wife every time she changed. And I realized in

1027
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 1: our thirty one years, we've been married about seven times. Yeah,

1028
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 1: and even now, the training you see before you is

1029
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 1: not the trainer I'm married.

1030
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:11,879
Speaker 7: When she was eighteen years old.

1031
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 3: No way.

1032
00:52:13,200 --> 00:52:19,319
Speaker 1: She's become bolder, she's become more confident, she's become more outspoken,

1033
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 1: she's she's a preacher now, she's a pastor now. And

1034
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 1: when we got married, she was the background girl. So

1035
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 1: I've now had to accept the evolution of who she's become.

1036
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 1: And there are many couples that get divorced because they

1037
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 1: can't handle and embrace the change in their part. Like

1038
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:38,000
Speaker 1: every time the person changed, they feel like, well, this

1039
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,080
Speaker 1: is not what I'm I don't know you and they

1040
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:41,760
Speaker 1: say we grew apart.

1041
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, got me tell you one thing I put in

1042
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: the book that sticks with me is that when your

1043
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:54,279
Speaker 2: arm or leg or something like that breaks, when you

1044
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 2: go to the doctor, they cast it together so that

1045
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: it can grow in men, all the ligaments and everything

1046
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:05,880
Speaker 2: can form again and make you whole. Yep, there's no

1047
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:07,320
Speaker 2: way you're gonna do that apart.

1048
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 3: Nope.

1049
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:11,279
Speaker 2: If you want to see your marriage work, you're gonna

1050
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 2: have to force yourself together, because that's what that cast does.

1051
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 2: It forces you together right until everything comes to in alignment.

1052
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what that's what we've had to do.

1053
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 1: We've had to at times when it wasn't comfortable. We

1054
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 1: had to say, well, you know, we're gonna we're gonna

1055
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,960
Speaker 1: be together for life, so are we gonna be miserable?

1056
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:32,280
Speaker 1: Are we gonna be happy?

1057
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:32,799
Speaker 3: That part?

1058
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 7: What do we have to figure out to make sure

1059
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 7: we're not miserable?

1060
00:53:35,640 --> 00:53:37,839
Speaker 1: That's real and that's what we've done, and we've been

1061
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: able to embrace all the evolutions we've gone through together. Yeah.

1062
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 3: At what year did these four points actually click? Is

1063
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,359
Speaker 3: this something after thirty one years that you finally got

1064
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:51,080
Speaker 3: or is this something like yeah, about year twenty, we

1065
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 3: kind of got these gems together.

1066
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 7: I think they're still clicking.

1067
00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 1: I can honestly say, at like maybe year fifteen, I

1068
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:06,920
Speaker 1: understood how important my marriage was, but it you know,

1069
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 1: after year twenty I understood how important.

1070
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:12,719
Speaker 3: My role in the marriage was.

1071
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 1: Twenty years in, I'm still understanding that I have so

1072
00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 1: much more responsibility than I initially thought. I thought it

1073
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 1: was my job to come in and let her please me,

1074
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:28,359
Speaker 1: But now I realize my responsibility is to please her,

1075
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: and then her responsibility is to please me.

1076
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,960
Speaker 3: Yes, and if we do that, then neither one of us.

1077
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 4: We're both feeding each other.

1078
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,319
Speaker 1: But if we're saying you're not doing what I need

1079
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 1: you to do, then you're never gonna get what you need.

1080
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 1: Absolutely yeah, because until you're pouring in, you can't get

1081
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:44,839
Speaker 1: anything out right.

1082
00:54:45,440 --> 00:54:46,879
Speaker 3: Thirty one years of marriage.

1083
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:49,840
Speaker 7: Thirty one when did you get it?

1084
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 4: I think I always know.

1085
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:54,800
Speaker 3: Okay, this is probably I told you.

1086
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 1: I don't know if this conversation was supposed to happen.

1087
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 4: I'm serious, I think I knew.

1088
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 2: And the only reason why I say that is if

1089
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 2: you if you understand me, and you understand the way

1090
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 2: I grew up, then you would know. My parents have

1091
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 2: two been together for like I think a little over

1092
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:14,520
Speaker 2: sixty five years yes, and so this is all I've

1093
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: seen all my life. My parents did not argue in

1094
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:19,800
Speaker 2: front of us. Now I know that they've had arguments.

1095
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:20,600
Speaker 1: I know that they have.

1096
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:24,919
Speaker 2: You see them now, yeah, we see we're not they're

1097
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:26,399
Speaker 2: eighty four, eighty five years old.

1098
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: They don't argue no more.

1099
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,279
Speaker 3: They what do you hear somebody in that age argue about?

1100
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:33,719
Speaker 3: You think? At that time, they just be like.

1101
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,399
Speaker 2: My mother be like, oh, Jay, sit down, and then

1102
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 2: my father's fussing, she taking too long where she had

1103
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:42,239
Speaker 2: where she like.

1104
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 4: It's just it's just hilarious. I'm telling you they need

1105
00:55:45,760 --> 00:55:46,240
Speaker 4: a sitcom.

1106
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:48,840
Speaker 1: I want to I want to grow old and have

1107
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: old arguments.

1108
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 2: But you can see the love is still there. My

1109
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 2: father still wears this wedding band that has JC and

1110
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 2: Gloria inscribed in it. And if my mother is in

1111
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 2: the kitchen cooking and she's taken too long, he's hobbling.

1112
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 4: They don't pick up their feet anymore.

1113
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 3: They kind of just.

1114
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,440
Speaker 2: Skate across the room. So we just hear these slippers

1115
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:10,800
Speaker 2: skating across the room. He's going to see where Gloria

1116
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,879
Speaker 2: is at. So they are so attached to each other

1117
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:16,919
Speaker 2: that even though they may have a disagreement or whatever,

1118
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 2: at eighty four and eighty five years old, they just

1119
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 2: gonna be together. Yeah, they love each other. So what

1120
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 2: I'm saying is I grew up seeing this. It's no

1121
00:56:26,239 --> 00:56:28,320
Speaker 2: goodness of my own. I'm not saying I'm great or

1122
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 2: that I'm without fault, but this is the example that

1123
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:34,279
Speaker 2: I always had before me. So it didn't take I

1124
00:56:34,440 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 2: made eras I did things I should not have done,

1125
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 2: but I always had a great example of how to

1126
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 2: rebound after that.

1127
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,800
Speaker 3: Gosh, she witness a sixty five year marriage.

1128
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I've never seen a successful marriage in

1129
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 1: my home at all. My stepfather, my dad, and my

1130
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 1: mom divorced when I was three. My stepfather was he

1131
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 1: and my mom had a very interesting relationship, so by

1132
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:06,160
Speaker 1: the time I was sixteen, they were separating. So I

1133
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 1: just I did what we had between between time I

1134
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 1: was twenty and thirty looked like what I had seen

1135
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 1: in my home.

1136
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:16,360
Speaker 3: It makes sense.

1137
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 1: It was that was my model. Not that that was

1138
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: an excuse. Yes, it was just my reality. And one

1139
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: thing I always tell my wife, I felt like I

1140
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: have to be what I have not seen. Yeah, yeah,

1141
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 1: tru And I no longer have the excuse of well

1142
00:57:33,560 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: I didn't see it. Be it anyway, be it for

1143
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 1: your son. And now my son is a good husband,

1144
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 1: a good father because that's what he's seen.

1145
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 3: Hold on, how old your son and he got married?

1146
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:45,880
Speaker 3: My son?

1147
00:57:47,440 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 2: Well, my son is twenty nine, he's married with two kids.

1148
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 2: Then I have a middle daughter, she's twenty two with

1149
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 2: a baby. Hi som and then we have a fourteen

1150
00:57:59,640 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 2: year old.

1151
00:58:00,160 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 1: Every seven years she started messing with me.

1152
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:06,000
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, Now come on now every seven years,

1153
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 3: come on of this relationship.

1154
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 4: Who's chasing who?

1155
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 8: Now?

1156
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 1: He said?

1157
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:20,640
Speaker 3: Twenty nine? And so wow, so you're oldest is married, yes,

1158
00:58:20,880 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 3: and there's a twenty year old married too. All right,

1159
00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 3: so the oldest is married. And so how did that

1160
00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 3: take place that the dad, I mean, did the husband

1161
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:29,320
Speaker 3: come talk to you? JJ?

1162
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 1: No, So my my daughter in law amazing story. The

1163
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 1: night we recorded you deserve it. My my daughter in

1164
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 1: law somehow got a message to my daughters and they

1165
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:47,439
Speaker 1: found out that she liked my son.

1166
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 3: Okay, so just that night.

1167
00:58:49,560 --> 00:58:52,440
Speaker 1: Was just extra special in so many ways. She is

1168
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:57,000
Speaker 1: a dancer, and she had been dancing like every time

1169
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,720
Speaker 1: I would go to DC. There was a dance troop

1170
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 1: called Divine Dance Institute. They would come up and dance

1171
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:05,200
Speaker 1: while I sang. So the night we recorded You Deserve It,

1172
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 1: they danced. So she danced that night. And then the

1173
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:13,080
Speaker 1: funny thing is so right after they met the night

1174
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 1: we recorded, the next time, I had to sing my

1175
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 1: son's like dag you see that girl dancing?

1176
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 7: He said.

1177
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 1: She liked me, And now they have two amazing children,

1178
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 1: and they've been married.

1179
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:27,200
Speaker 2: She said she knew, she said when she saw him.

1180
00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 2: She told her parents that night she was gonna marry him. Really, yes, yes,

1181
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 2: and they got See it's just something about these women.

1182
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 2: We know, we know, y'all should really listen to us.

1183
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:41,760
Speaker 4: I'm telling you.

1184
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:45,360
Speaker 7: I'm telling you honestly. Though I love my Dora, I

1185
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 7: love got married.

1186
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 2: They were he's twenty nine now. I think they said

1187
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 2: they've just been married for five years. They just celebrated

1188
00:59:52,560 --> 00:59:53,040
Speaker 2: five years.

1189
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 7: So they were dating from the time that happened.

1190
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 2: They dated in college, yeah, yeah, and then when they

1191
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 2: got out of college they got married.

1192
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1193
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:03,760
Speaker 1: She kept him saved while he was in college. Yeah,

1194
01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:07,439
Speaker 1: because she lived in she was going to college at home,

1195
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 1: and well she was in Philly, Philly and he was

1196
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 1: going to college in South Carolina, so you know, he

1197
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 1: you know, he stayed pretty saved and he's South Carolina because.

1198
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 3: He was blessed the Lord dating me on, so praise

1199
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,240
Speaker 3: the Lord for me on. Yeah. So y'all didn't think

1200
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 3: they were too young to get married. No, no, So

1201
01:00:23,840 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 3: that's good that y'all didn't bring y'all trauma into the relationship.

1202
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,720
Speaker 3: Be like, we got married young, and I'm telling these men,

1203
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 3: just don't be ready and you need to wait till

1204
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:33,040
Speaker 3: you buy in the mid.

1205
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 2: Thirties and then the good thing is good and bad

1206
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 2: thing is my son had seen a lot of what

1207
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 2: we went and he just did not want to go

1208
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 2: through all of that.

1209
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1210
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 2: So he's always been level headed, mature in the mind

1211
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 2: when it comes to taking care of responsibilities and things.

1212
01:00:52,200 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 2: So he's in a totally different place.

1213
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 7: I'm pretty hard on him too, really.

1214
01:00:56,040 --> 01:01:00,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you are you are well. I just

1215
01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:04,240
Speaker 4: I wanted to be easier on the girls and harder on.

1216
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 1: My son because I know that there's greatness in him,

1217
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,120
Speaker 1: and I know what he can be. If he has

1218
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 1: a very present father, that's good. And I didn't have

1219
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 1: a present father, and I feel like there's a lot

1220
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 1: I would not have done if I had someone who's present,

1221
01:01:20,440 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 1: and I didn't have it.

1222
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:24,320
Speaker 7: So I said, I'm gonna be very present. I hit

1223
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:25,640
Speaker 7: the boy in the chest one time.

1224
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 4: To stop hitting your sons in the chest. He told

1225
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 4: you how to do that.

1226
01:01:31,760 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 3: That's a that's a path of man. Who who said

1227
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:41,280
Speaker 3: that hand?

1228
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 4: Christian has to be a better way.

1229
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 3: It has to be.

1230
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 4: I just I just.

1231
01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. I'm still upset about that.

1232
01:02:00,080 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 1: Win out my sons.

1233
01:02:01,280 --> 01:02:04,000
Speaker 3: What it should be. No, I don't know what that is.

1234
01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 3: It's just it's just a path. It's just it's a

1235
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:10,200
Speaker 3: beautiful path. I'm understand. They don't understand it. It's like

1236
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:12,640
Speaker 3: that's where you one hitting the chest and he'd be like,

1237
01:02:13,200 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 3: he knows.

1238
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:15,760
Speaker 2: Let me tell you now what we see now all

1239
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 2: y'all men done got hit in the chest. But what

1240
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:21,640
Speaker 2: about all these girls, because now you see the times

1241
01:02:21,680 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 2: have changed. Now the girls are the fast ones.

1242
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:27,080
Speaker 1: All the boys that got hitting chests, they corrected and

1243
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 1: now we got to face up this world with all

1244
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: these fast Thank god, my girls are not fast.

1245
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 3: I just want to you ain't lying because my my

1246
01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:38,640
Speaker 3: nephew son who I adopted, he said, these girls, these

1247
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 3: girls aggressive. Now, oh, these girls be just trying to

1248
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 3: throw it at you. I said, they say what He's like, Yeah,

1249
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:48,480
Speaker 3: this girl be sending you pictures and doing this absolutely back.

1250
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 7: In our day, total switch. They on the hunt now.

1251
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:57,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm telling you, what do you think that is?

1252
01:02:57,160 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 3: Though? Women liberation? Yeah?

1253
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 2: I think it started there. Don't get me started on

1254
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:04,479
Speaker 2: that conversation. Please don't.

1255
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 4: Please, I'm not should I say it?

1256
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:09,680
Speaker 2: No, please don't say it. Okay, I don't want to

1257
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 2: go viral. Started there. It started with that. But then

1258
01:03:14,920 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 2: I think it's the culture that we live in. All

1259
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 2: of what these girls are seeing, what's put before then

1260
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:24,600
Speaker 2: has made all that attractive. I don't understand why and how,

1261
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:27,200
Speaker 2: but it's made. That's the way that you get what

1262
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 2: you want.

1263
01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 1: But that's why I keep threatening to have a daughter's

1264
01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:35,360
Speaker 1: night in a church. Yeah, because I feel like a

1265
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,919
Speaker 1: lot of daughters are missing that strong father.

1266
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 3: Why don't you do it?

1267
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,360
Speaker 7: Because I feel like, like, will I go viral? Will

1268
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:43,120
Speaker 7: I get in trouble?

1269
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 2: We can't stream it. We couldn't stream it. I think

1270
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:48,960
Speaker 2: our thoughts are too controversial.

1271
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 1: Because I mean, me and my daughter, me and my

1272
01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 1: middle daughter have had this amazing revival in our relationship.

1273
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 3: She's twenty two.

1274
01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 1: She's twenty two, But initial we had a really we

1275
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 1: had a strong issue in our relationship because I was

1276
01:04:07,720 --> 01:04:11,160
Speaker 1: so strict that I wanted her to do it the

1277
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 1: right way, and it seemed like the harder I pushed

1278
01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 1: the heart, the more she pulled away. I think she

1279
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 1: now sees the value of it, and I now see

1280
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:26,760
Speaker 1: that my approach needed to shift a little video. But

1281
01:04:26,960 --> 01:04:31,240
Speaker 1: because of what I've learned in my relationship with my daughter,

1282
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,600
Speaker 1: I really wish I could take that and share it

1283
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:37,080
Speaker 1: with the daughters of the church, because one thing I

1284
01:04:37,120 --> 01:04:41,920
Speaker 1: can honestly say is I wish they value themselves.

1285
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:43,960
Speaker 3: That's why I say you should do it. You should

1286
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 3: stop talking about it and just do it. Stop wanting it,

1287
01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:49,360
Speaker 3: and do it. And it probably should be curated with

1288
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:52,000
Speaker 3: just you and your daughter talking and y'all sit there,

1289
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:53,760
Speaker 3: because she's going to be able to speak the heart,

1290
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:55,920
Speaker 3: and you give your daughter the freedom to talk about

1291
01:04:55,920 --> 01:05:00,800
Speaker 3: how frustrated it was with how you were with her,

1292
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 3: and then they're gonna by the end of that conversation,

1293
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,520
Speaker 3: the tension that is brought from father and daughter is

1294
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 3: gonna bring healing, because everything you're gonna say is gonna

1295
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 3: mirror the heart of Christ. Because at the end of

1296
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 3: the day, God don't be sitting around. He ain't no

1297
01:05:15,840 --> 01:05:18,440
Speaker 3: weak God. You know what I'm saying. He holds us

1298
01:05:18,480 --> 01:05:20,920
Speaker 3: accountable to our decisions, and he says, I want the

1299
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 3: best for you. I died for you.

1300
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:23,160
Speaker 8: This is what it is.

1301
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 3: This is a sacrificial I love, sacrificial love I have

1302
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:29,040
Speaker 3: for you. And so in that conversation, your daughter's gonna

1303
01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:31,320
Speaker 3: be able to say, but I wouldn't want anyway. And

1304
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 3: she's gonna tell stories about how her friends who didn't

1305
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 3: have active fathers in their life, how the role went,

1306
01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,600
Speaker 3: how the outcome they couldn't go talk to their dad

1307
01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:42,680
Speaker 3: about X y Z. You know what I'm saying. And

1308
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:44,720
Speaker 3: she knows at the end of the day, because I'm

1309
01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 3: telling you I was. I was. I was strict on

1310
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:48,920
Speaker 3: my daughter at the end of the day. But she

1311
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:51,640
Speaker 3: got married. She got married the only man that she's

1312
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:58,360
Speaker 3: ever known, and gave me a beautiful granddaughter last month.

1313
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. She talks about that. She

1314
01:06:00,800 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 3: said one time she told me, this is when I

1315
01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 3: knew I was doing something right. She said, dad, You're

1316
01:06:05,520 --> 01:06:08,280
Speaker 3: always right. I said, why you say that? She said,

1317
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,320
Speaker 3: all the stuff that you used to always I used

1318
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:13,040
Speaker 3: to just be like, no, you don't know, you old,

1319
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:16,200
Speaker 3: you just don't know this or whatever. After amount of time,

1320
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:19,920
Speaker 3: I realized you're right, and I said, you think of

1321
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 3: father like this. Think about it. I'm not some hater.

1322
01:06:22,440 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 4: I'm not some.

1323
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 3: Literally here to help you in your life. If I

1324
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:31,720
Speaker 3: don't tell you what is right, that means I failed

1325
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:36,160
Speaker 3: my sole responsibility, the mandate I had to be your father.

1326
01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:38,080
Speaker 3: I failed because I didn't tell you what was right.

1327
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:40,919
Speaker 3: And I said, that's it. I don't have no other

1328
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:44,640
Speaker 3: gold in life except for you to succeed and for

1329
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 3: you not to have to go through some of the heartbreak,

1330
01:06:47,360 --> 01:06:49,280
Speaker 3: heart ax that I've gone through. And I said, and

1331
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give you the grace to fail, and I'm

1332
01:06:51,160 --> 01:06:52,800
Speaker 3: gonna pick you up, but at least you gonna know

1333
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:55,800
Speaker 3: he told me this, shoudn't have done this, and I

1334
01:06:55,840 --> 01:06:58,560
Speaker 3: didn't listen. I said, that's it. And when she told

1335
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:01,120
Speaker 3: me that, she was like, dang, you were always right.

1336
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 3: And I said absolutely. And I said, and guess what,

1337
01:07:03,920 --> 01:07:05,959
Speaker 3: You're gonna have the same conversation with your kids.

1338
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:07,240
Speaker 7: Yes, absolutely, Yeah.

1339
01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:09,320
Speaker 2: Now I'm going to have a conversation with all the

1340
01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 2: boys that got hit in the chest lord on the

1341
01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 2: same night.

1342
01:07:14,640 --> 01:07:14,960
Speaker 5: Room right.

1343
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:18,120
Speaker 7: Yes, again, this is the guided conversations.

1344
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:20,959
Speaker 4: I'm gonna apologize.

1345
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:23,280
Speaker 3: I apologize on behalf of your father.

1346
01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:28,560
Speaker 1: Good sons that got hitting the chest one time, that

1347
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:29,640
Speaker 1: got their life together.

1348
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, go ahead and apologize. So they could be weak,

1349
01:07:34,280 --> 01:07:38,560
Speaker 3: right exactly, but that is the truth. But it is

1350
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:41,120
Speaker 3: a path of masculinity. It's funny though, and you know,

1351
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:44,120
Speaker 3: you know we can go get that gentle parenting and

1352
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,160
Speaker 3: be like, you should never put your hands on the kids.

1353
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 3: You know, it's just I don't know about it.

1354
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:50,440
Speaker 7: But here's the thing. Somebody gonna put their hands on them.

1355
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:51,240
Speaker 3: Facts.

1356
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:52,520
Speaker 7: I would rather be me.

1357
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:53,280
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

1358
01:07:53,560 --> 01:08:00,160
Speaker 1: My son knows how to handle authority and how to

1359
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:03,640
Speaker 1: how to submit to authority because he had to submit

1360
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:04,240
Speaker 1: to my authority.

1361
01:08:04,320 --> 01:08:06,320
Speaker 3: Absolutely. But if you allow him to do whatever they

1362
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:08,520
Speaker 3: want to do it they want. Can't nobody tell them nothing?

1363
01:08:08,560 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 3: They would have beating up the teachers at school, you

1364
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:15,400
Speaker 3: see that. Like, I've seen more teachers hate their jobs

1365
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,840
Speaker 3: out of fear because these kids be dropping on them

1366
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:21,120
Speaker 3: than ever. When I was growing up.

1367
01:08:21,680 --> 01:08:24,840
Speaker 4: I wish you wouldn't let me tell you something.

1368
01:08:24,880 --> 01:08:27,840
Speaker 3: Oh my mama, my daddy would go upside.

1369
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:31,360
Speaker 1: My head, the teachers in front of the teachers, of

1370
01:08:31,479 --> 01:08:32,160
Speaker 1: the teacher.

1371
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:34,040
Speaker 3: To the school, whoop you in front of the teacher

1372
01:08:34,040 --> 01:08:35,680
Speaker 3: in the whole classroom, and there somebody do.

1373
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,000
Speaker 4: But now you have parents that would go and fight

1374
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:38,559
Speaker 4: the teacher.

1375
01:08:39,240 --> 01:08:39,800
Speaker 1: How dare you.

1376
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:44,519
Speaker 3: Time saying to my kids, be like, cuss me out

1377
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:46,439
Speaker 3: of whatever. You must have said something that they didn't like.

1378
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:49,280
Speaker 4: Exactly, it's all confused.

1379
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:56,479
Speaker 3: And did heal them, restored them? That was his breakthrough,

1380
01:08:57,200 --> 01:09:00,439
Speaker 3: break got a breakthrough it that morning, and that he

1381
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:02,320
Speaker 3: gonna come back and't gonna say, you know what, my

1382
01:09:02,439 --> 01:09:06,920
Speaker 3: father help us lord. But in that interesting though, a

1383
01:09:07,040 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 3: woman be like, I want my husband to be active

1384
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:11,200
Speaker 3: and make sure we get our sons right. And then

1385
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:13,559
Speaker 3: when the method is not in agreement with how they operate,

1386
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 3: they're like, you doing you're doing too much.

1387
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:18,639
Speaker 2: But what I didn't do is I did not correct him,

1388
01:09:18,880 --> 01:09:20,400
Speaker 2: or I did not say anything to him in front

1389
01:09:20,400 --> 01:09:20,759
Speaker 2: of myself.

1390
01:09:20,800 --> 01:09:22,360
Speaker 1: Well that's good, but he did so she did say

1391
01:09:22,360 --> 01:09:26,120
Speaker 1: a lot to me, but just not in absolutely. I

1392
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:28,479
Speaker 1: sure did never be putting your hands on my son.

1393
01:09:28,720 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 1: We are not a slavery anymore.

1394
01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:34,920
Speaker 3: Fight right, But you know what, the same thing with

1395
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:35,559
Speaker 3: my daughter.

1396
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:39,080
Speaker 1: We've had conversations around how I wanted her to be

1397
01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:42,120
Speaker 1: more active. Oh yeah, and our dispute.

1398
01:09:42,400 --> 01:09:46,960
Speaker 2: We raised children differently. We had different mindsets about raising children.

1399
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:48,439
Speaker 2: I think that's because the way we were raised. I

1400
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:50,920
Speaker 2: was raised totally different than what he was.

1401
01:09:51,080 --> 01:09:53,320
Speaker 4: So that was another I.

1402
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:56,280
Speaker 7: Wasn't raised for marriage.

1403
01:09:56,840 --> 01:09:57,280
Speaker 3: I wasn't.

1404
01:09:57,360 --> 01:10:00,600
Speaker 7: I wasn't raised I was. I evolved with.

1405
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:02,599
Speaker 3: Age, true, true.

1406
01:10:02,760 --> 01:10:06,200
Speaker 2: I mean at sixteen years old, he was on his own. Okay,

1407
01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:10,240
Speaker 2: you know, had a job, he was paying bills. Unfortunately,

1408
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:12,599
Speaker 2: he was living a grown man's lifetime at.

1409
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 3: Sixteen, sixteen years old.

1410
01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:18,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is why at twenty our marriage was okay, because,

1411
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:25,080
Speaker 1: oh my god, exactly, they give himself exactly.

1412
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:29,000
Speaker 3: That is hilarious. Listen, I could talk to y'all all day. Listen,

1413
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:31,519
Speaker 3: what is what is the way to support y'all? What

1414
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:34,000
Speaker 3: y'all got going on? What are some things I can

1415
01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:37,240
Speaker 3: get my community to be, like, hey, follow this, support

1416
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:39,120
Speaker 3: this by this album? What talk to me?

1417
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:41,519
Speaker 7: So we got a new record out now, it's called

1418
01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:42,280
Speaker 7: You for Praise.

1419
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:46,280
Speaker 1: The Live Reunion All the stuff that first ten years

1420
01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:50,559
Speaker 1: is a part of this record, the same people to save.

1421
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:54,799
Speaker 1: So twenty five years of music, we recorded, we re recorded,

1422
01:10:54,880 --> 01:10:56,000
Speaker 1: and we released it.

1423
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 3: Twenty five years, twenty five years of music.

1424
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:01,360
Speaker 1: And it's been such a bless sing that in spite

1425
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:04,400
Speaker 1: of all of our mistakes and failures, God has chosen to.

1426
01:11:04,479 --> 01:11:07,880
Speaker 7: Use us to glorify himself. So that's that's out.

1427
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:13,040
Speaker 1: Now. My first single, my first singleitaris where her singing

1428
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:15,519
Speaker 1: on it is on this record, risk on nothing else.

1429
01:11:15,600 --> 01:11:18,680
Speaker 1: I wrote a song for her, she's actually singing it.

1430
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:21,760
Speaker 1: So that's the first song on the record, and I'm

1431
01:11:21,800 --> 01:11:24,720
Speaker 1: excited about that. So that's out. And then if you

1432
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:26,640
Speaker 1: want to support a church, if you want to just

1433
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:30,240
Speaker 1: see what we're talking about, gathering Place d C. If

1434
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:32,040
Speaker 1: you're ever in the DC area, we would love you

1435
01:11:32,080 --> 01:11:34,280
Speaker 1: to come visit us. See you can followus on social media.

1436
01:11:34,960 --> 01:11:37,360
Speaker 1: God's really doing some amazing things, not because of us,

1437
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:38,639
Speaker 1: but because he's so great.

1438
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:39,479
Speaker 3: What's the website.

1439
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:41,760
Speaker 7: It's gathering Place DC dot com.

1440
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:45,400
Speaker 3: Okay, gathering Place DC. Y'all got YouTube, y'all, stream y'all service.

1441
01:11:45,439 --> 01:11:50,280
Speaker 3: Absolutely everything's up there, man, the whole pastor. So you

1442
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:52,479
Speaker 3: don't call her first lady, you call her past Oh no.

1443
01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:55,680
Speaker 1: She cannot be a first lady. I would not be

1444
01:11:55,800 --> 01:11:58,240
Speaker 1: pastoring if she was not pastoring with me. That's good,

1445
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:00,799
Speaker 1: and that's why we had to We are now submitted

1446
01:12:00,880 --> 01:12:03,680
Speaker 1: to some amazing pastors were possible, Brandon Klack and his

1447
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:04,599
Speaker 1: wife Crystal.

1448
01:12:05,880 --> 01:12:06,559
Speaker 3: We love them.

1449
01:12:06,640 --> 01:12:09,840
Speaker 1: They're pastoring us because we needed to be connected to

1450
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:13,080
Speaker 1: people who look like us. And now we're pastoring and

1451
01:12:13,200 --> 01:12:16,680
Speaker 1: we're leading, and we're worshiping all together and God is

1452
01:12:16,720 --> 01:12:17,439
Speaker 1: really blessing us.

1453
01:12:17,600 --> 01:12:20,200
Speaker 3: That's good. Yeah, that's good. And so y'all been having

1454
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:23,639
Speaker 3: this church for how many years now? This year fifth year. Yeah,

1455
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:28,680
Speaker 3: I'll speak blessings over y'all's ministry and the name of

1456
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:30,960
Speaker 3: Jesus for God to just open up the windows of

1457
01:12:31,040 --> 01:12:33,320
Speaker 3: heaven and pour our blessings. Y'all have room enough to

1458
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:37,200
Speaker 3: receive because it's a dying generation. It's the most unchurched

1459
01:12:37,280 --> 01:12:42,120
Speaker 3: generation ever. And I believe that God can heal and

1460
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:45,040
Speaker 3: restore and start giving y'all an anointing to reach that

1461
01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:47,840
Speaker 3: lost generation, the people who feel like, ah, that's the

1462
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:50,880
Speaker 3: God of our our parents. That don't don't really apply

1463
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:53,120
Speaker 3: to us, you know, we really like the god of

1464
01:12:53,200 --> 01:13:01,560
Speaker 3: sexy red. Yes that time, understand right, They in the

1465
01:13:01,600 --> 01:13:04,439
Speaker 3: whole different world. I'd be looking. I talked to my nephew,

1466
01:13:04,439 --> 01:13:07,360
Speaker 3: I'll be like this. It's a different world. Yes, it's

1467
01:13:07,439 --> 01:13:09,800
Speaker 3: a different world. And I said, God, how do I

1468
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:12,040
Speaker 3: got what? Because I've been asking God to give me

1469
01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:15,400
Speaker 3: the language to reach that generation. What is it that

1470
01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:18,799
Speaker 3: will make uh make that relevant? I remember my nephew.

1471
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:20,559
Speaker 3: He was listening to some music and I said, why

1472
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:22,240
Speaker 3: do you like that? Why? Why do you like that?

1473
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,080
Speaker 3: I said, guys, I feel like my parents. I said,

1474
01:13:24,120 --> 01:13:25,920
Speaker 3: why do you like that music? Talking about I said,

1475
01:13:25,920 --> 01:13:28,920
Speaker 3: here you are recording music talking about you shooting people

1476
01:13:28,960 --> 01:13:30,320
Speaker 3: and all that. I said, you don't shoot nobody. You

1477
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:32,479
Speaker 3: don't even live that lifestyle. I said, why do you

1478
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,760
Speaker 3: say that? He said, I mean, and what's so bad

1479
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,479
Speaker 3: about it? I told him one day, I said, you're

1480
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:39,479
Speaker 3: not going to be successful doing that. He said, well,

1481
01:13:39,479 --> 01:13:41,000
Speaker 3: I'm tell you the song I just recorded got a

1482
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:46,799
Speaker 3: million views on YouTube. I said a million, I said.

1483
01:13:47,080 --> 01:13:47,840
Speaker 7: Got music.

1484
01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:53,320
Speaker 1: Let me to me, I'm gonna tell you how you

1485
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:56,840
Speaker 1: figured it out because you have this Yeah, and what

1486
01:13:57,360 --> 01:13:58,880
Speaker 1: what your nephew is probably trying to say?

1487
01:13:59,040 --> 01:14:03,640
Speaker 7: Is that's what they think that person's truth is.

1488
01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:06,240
Speaker 1: And you created this platform for people that just come

1489
01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:08,600
Speaker 1: tell the truth absolutely, and I think that's what's going

1490
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:11,720
Speaker 1: to keep you successful because there's nothing false about you.

1491
01:14:12,280 --> 01:14:14,240
Speaker 1: And when we come in here, when people come in here,

1492
01:14:14,680 --> 01:14:16,760
Speaker 1: they feel the release to tell the truth.

1493
01:14:17,000 --> 01:14:19,839
Speaker 2: But you know what, honestly, I think it's that this generation,

1494
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:23,599
Speaker 2: they're really more pliable than what we think. I think

1495
01:14:23,720 --> 01:14:26,519
Speaker 2: we need more platforms like yours. I think we need

1496
01:14:26,680 --> 01:14:29,599
Speaker 2: more of us the church to stand up. I believe

1497
01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:32,640
Speaker 2: that God is opening up this space in time so

1498
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:35,679
Speaker 2: that the church can rise up and be the real

1499
01:14:35,960 --> 01:14:38,680
Speaker 2: example that they're supposed to be. And I think if

1500
01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:41,640
Speaker 2: we did that instead of complaining and I'm guilty too,

1501
01:14:42,120 --> 01:14:45,160
Speaker 2: but instead of complaining about what there's not enough of,

1502
01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:47,920
Speaker 2: I think we need to start being what there's not

1503
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:48,560
Speaker 2: enough of.

1504
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:52,240
Speaker 4: And we will see more of this general what is

1505
01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:54,360
Speaker 4: it gen x gen zen z.

1506
01:14:55,680 --> 01:14:57,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't even know where we're at now,

1507
01:14:57,720 --> 01:15:01,320
Speaker 2: but we will see more of them gravity towards what

1508
01:15:01,560 --> 01:15:03,240
Speaker 2: is right if we do what we're supposed to do.

1509
01:15:03,439 --> 01:15:05,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, because even when I started this platform,

1510
01:15:05,840 --> 01:15:07,800
Speaker 3: and thank you what you're saying, JJ both y'all. Is

1511
01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:11,120
Speaker 3: that I said, I wanted to be what I wanted

1512
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:14,120
Speaker 3: to see, meaning that man in the church who incident

1513
01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:15,800
Speaker 3: we're talking about. Now, you ain't hear no couple sit.

1514
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:19,520
Speaker 3: You definitely ain't hear no pastor talk about they lifestyle

1515
01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:22,200
Speaker 3: or nothing. It's all gonna be like you're gonna have

1516
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:24,920
Speaker 3: the illusion that everybody waiting for mayors to have sex,

1517
01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:29,000
Speaker 3: everybody's doing everything right. Ain't nothing. And so I remember

1518
01:15:29,040 --> 01:15:31,400
Speaker 3: when God told me I want you. You said, when

1519
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:33,880
Speaker 3: you were married the first time, how you wish certain

1520
01:15:33,920 --> 01:15:36,560
Speaker 3: things was around to have real conversations. Now want you

1521
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:39,040
Speaker 3: to be there? I said, Man telling people about my business,

1522
01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:41,640
Speaker 3: you're gonna mess around to counsel me. You know what

1523
01:15:41,640 --> 01:15:43,800
Speaker 3: I'm saying. I remember when God told me to share

1524
01:15:43,960 --> 01:15:46,840
Speaker 3: for the first time of the infidelity in my past marriage.

1525
01:15:47,320 --> 01:15:50,720
Speaker 3: I was five years divorced, and I said, God, wait

1526
01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:56,120
Speaker 3: bringing up my old stuff. Get about that, went about

1527
01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:58,040
Speaker 3: to see it. Forgive for this. Why you're bringing stuff up?

1528
01:15:58,200 --> 01:15:59,559
Speaker 3: He said, I want you to share that. I said, God,

1529
01:15:59,560 --> 01:16:03,400
Speaker 3: I got one hundred subscribers. It's gonna be career suicide

1530
01:16:03,479 --> 01:16:05,920
Speaker 3: if I actually share that. I have my friend Joey

1531
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:08,479
Speaker 3: Greco from the TV show Cheaters, and we begin to

1532
01:16:08,520 --> 01:16:10,920
Speaker 3: talk about and I said, I'll be remiss if I

1533
01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:13,760
Speaker 3: didn't share it with the world my infidelity in my

1534
01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:16,240
Speaker 3: past marriage. I cheated because I had a lack of integrity.

1535
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:18,280
Speaker 3: And I shared that and it was the first couple

1536
01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:20,240
Speaker 3: of months of my podcast. I sent it to my

1537
01:16:20,320 --> 01:16:22,719
Speaker 3: ex wife. I said, I'm about to release this episode.

1538
01:16:22,760 --> 01:16:25,080
Speaker 3: I want you to watch it and bless it. I

1539
01:16:25,160 --> 01:16:26,760
Speaker 3: know you never wanted me to talk about it while

1540
01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:28,880
Speaker 3: we were married, but now since we're divorced, I feel

1541
01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:31,080
Speaker 3: like God has releasing me to say this. And she

1542
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:33,000
Speaker 3: watched it. She said, this is what I love most

1543
01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:35,000
Speaker 3: about you is that you you know how to own

1544
01:16:35,120 --> 01:16:37,840
Speaker 3: your stuff. You didn't pass blame on me and you

1545
01:16:37,920 --> 01:16:39,640
Speaker 3: didn't do this. And the reason why I cheat it

1546
01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:41,559
Speaker 3: because you did. You just said I cheat it because

1547
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:44,120
Speaker 3: I had lack of integrity. And I said okay. She

1548
01:16:44,240 --> 01:16:46,840
Speaker 3: said yeah, I said, you have my blessing. I said, okay,

1549
01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,439
Speaker 3: Oh Lord, I released that was so I was scared.

1550
01:16:49,439 --> 01:16:52,000
Speaker 3: I said, oh. I was dancing around the office.

1551
01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:54,320
Speaker 1: Because you know, I'm like.

1552
01:16:56,800 --> 01:16:59,639
Speaker 3: Scare and I was like, I was reading the comments.

1553
01:16:59,680 --> 01:17:01,680
Speaker 3: I said, I ain't nobody saying that negative? Why they

1554
01:17:01,960 --> 01:17:04,600
Speaker 3: they missed that part? What I'm searching, I'm about to

1555
01:17:04,680 --> 01:17:06,400
Speaker 3: tell people like, did y'all not hear me say I

1556
01:17:06,520 --> 01:17:10,200
Speaker 3: cheated on my ex wife? Nobody in that episode said

1557
01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:12,960
Speaker 3: I can't believe this. Nobody said that they can identify

1558
01:17:13,040 --> 01:17:15,720
Speaker 3: with it. Nobody said that negative they can identify with it.

1559
01:17:15,880 --> 01:17:18,439
Speaker 3: I'm about to lose all my five hundred subscribers and

1560
01:17:18,520 --> 01:17:20,479
Speaker 3: now I'm over very six hundred and thirty five.

1561
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:24,479
Speaker 2: Power in your testimony. Don't think people realize what we

1562
01:17:24,560 --> 01:17:27,280
Speaker 2: go through is not just for us. Absolutely, sometimes it's

1563
01:17:27,320 --> 01:17:29,240
Speaker 2: not for us at all. It's not someone.

1564
01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:32,240
Speaker 1: Else's biblical character in the Bible that minister to you

1565
01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:33,639
Speaker 1: did not fail. That did not fail.

1566
01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:35,120
Speaker 3: That part not one.

1567
01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:38,559
Speaker 1: So the only way you'll be able to receive from

1568
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:41,080
Speaker 1: the people who are are anointed if you know what

1569
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:44,479
Speaker 1: is behind that anointing and struggle. And that's why you

1570
01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:46,800
Speaker 1: can say, well, this could be me, because if you

1571
01:17:46,920 --> 01:17:50,360
Speaker 1: have this triumphant outcome, then maybe where I am now

1572
01:17:50,479 --> 01:17:54,040
Speaker 1: will leave me there too. But if I only see

1573
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:56,679
Speaker 1: perfection and I know I'm in a place of failure,

1574
01:17:57,000 --> 01:17:59,280
Speaker 1: I can never feel like I can get there. So

1575
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:01,720
Speaker 1: it's important that people can see you can be in

1576
01:18:01,800 --> 01:18:03,080
Speaker 1: a low state and still come back.

1577
01:18:03,280 --> 01:18:06,879
Speaker 3: That's beautiful. Hey, listen, make sure that y'all go and support.

1578
01:18:07,040 --> 01:18:09,439
Speaker 3: Go to the ministry website. The link is going to

1579
01:18:09,520 --> 01:18:14,840
Speaker 3: be in the description follow support tithe to them, give

1580
01:18:14,840 --> 01:18:18,040
Speaker 3: an offering. Just bless the ministry. While you're at it.

1581
01:18:18,120 --> 01:18:20,400
Speaker 3: I want you to pick up the twenty five years

1582
01:18:20,439 --> 01:18:22,600
Speaker 3: See people. I was talking to Travis Green. They say, well,

1583
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:24,800
Speaker 3: people ain't buying albums anymore, and I'm sick of that.

1584
01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:28,439
Speaker 3: I don't care if you go buy the album. Please

1585
01:18:28,840 --> 01:18:32,400
Speaker 3: please go buy the album the twenty five year anniversary.

1586
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:36,000
Speaker 3: Go get the album. Hear the beautiful song that kicks

1587
01:18:36,080 --> 01:18:39,599
Speaker 3: off the album, the song that JJ wrote for nothing else? Yeah,

1588
01:18:39,800 --> 01:18:43,400
Speaker 3: nothing else. And so I just thank y'all for your

1589
01:18:43,479 --> 01:18:46,880
Speaker 3: amazing testimony for being transparent and vulnerable. Make sure y'all

1590
01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:49,519
Speaker 3: gonna pick up the book. The book is still out there.

1591
01:18:51,120 --> 01:18:53,160
Speaker 1: A miracle marriage is a miracle marriage.

1592
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:55,479
Speaker 3: So make sure y'all go get that book. Hey, y'all

1593
01:18:55,520 --> 01:18:58,280
Speaker 3: give it up for the hairsa John, Thank you so

1594
01:18:58,360 --> 01:19:01,080
Speaker 3: much for having it. Thanks for blessing yell facts. Stay

1595
01:19:01,160 --> 01:19:03,519
Speaker 3: tuned to the end for a letter to my future wife.

1596
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:14,080
Speaker 5: Writing these love letters you, Ladarian, thrust it suddenly into

1597
01:19:14,200 --> 01:19:15,360
Speaker 5: child protective services.

1598
01:19:15,400 --> 01:19:20,799
Speaker 3: In twenty fifteen, my nephew, black a boy, the likelihood

1599
01:19:20,800 --> 01:19:25,200
Speaker 3: have been adopted outside of kinship slim to none? Rmione,

1600
01:19:25,920 --> 01:19:29,920
Speaker 3: sixteen years old, black a boy with five years in

1601
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,360
Speaker 3: the false care system before I even knew his name.

1602
01:19:33,200 --> 01:19:36,840
Speaker 3: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

1603
01:19:37,560 --> 01:19:42,120
Speaker 3: Slim to none. While Ladarian and OURMIONI were trying to

1604
01:19:42,160 --> 01:19:45,720
Speaker 3: survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false

1605
01:19:45,880 --> 01:19:48,920
Speaker 3: care system, I was living my own life, doing well professionally,

1606
01:19:49,479 --> 01:19:51,720
Speaker 3: having been a single father with a daughter who at

1607
01:19:51,760 --> 01:19:54,200
Speaker 3: that point was doing well in college. It was my

1608
01:19:54,320 --> 01:20:01,240
Speaker 3: time to live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, wireless, agitated.

1609
01:20:02,200 --> 01:20:05,519
Speaker 3: There are just two many of our black children stuck

1610
01:20:05,840 --> 01:20:09,120
Speaker 3: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falter care system.

1611
01:20:09,840 --> 01:20:13,800
Speaker 3: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast

1612
01:20:13,840 --> 01:20:16,160
Speaker 3: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

1613
01:20:16,280 --> 01:20:18,720
Speaker 3: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to

1614
01:20:18,840 --> 01:20:22,320
Speaker 3: adopt them also on an bate. Starting over with parenting

1615
01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:25,240
Speaker 3: should have been enough. Right, Working with various foster care

1616
01:20:25,280 --> 01:20:28,479
Speaker 3: and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the countless

1617
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:32,040
Speaker 3: young Black Kings and the Falster care system should have decreased.

1618
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:35,879
Speaker 3: My agitation right joined the board of directors of Advantage

1619
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:39,519
Speaker 3: of Adoption and organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes

1620
01:20:39,680 --> 01:20:41,840
Speaker 3: for children in false care should have led to some

1621
01:20:42,080 --> 01:20:46,560
Speaker 3: type of resolve. Right, No, not at all. None of

1622
01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:50,520
Speaker 3: it felt like I had done enough. I now realized

1623
01:20:51,120 --> 01:20:54,720
Speaker 3: that every one of those experiences was land the fundamental

1624
01:20:54,800 --> 01:21:00,320
Speaker 3: foundation for my life's mission. Kingdom Royal Kingdom Royale would

1625
01:21:00,320 --> 01:21:03,120
Speaker 3: be a luxury, state of the art home for foster boys.

1626
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:06,680
Speaker 3: Our first location will be in the Dallas Fortwork Metroplex.

1627
01:21:06,800 --> 01:21:10,400
Speaker 3: We will utilize the whole person approach that instills identity,

1628
01:21:10,760 --> 01:21:14,400
Speaker 3: empowers them to advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding

1629
01:21:14,479 --> 01:21:19,360
Speaker 3: new perspectives and limitless options that they thought were impossible.

1630
01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:22,840
Speaker 3: Though the young Kings will attend the local public schools

1631
01:21:22,880 --> 01:21:26,000
Speaker 3: that are in proximity the King of Royale. Our at

1632
01:21:26,040 --> 01:21:29,880
Speaker 3: home curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts,

1633
01:21:30,040 --> 01:21:34,840
Speaker 3: attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted

1634
01:21:34,880 --> 01:21:39,560
Speaker 3: discussions about current events, and even relevant historical contexts, introducing

1635
01:21:39,640 --> 01:21:42,800
Speaker 3: them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our

1636
01:21:42,920 --> 01:21:46,880
Speaker 3: animals on our form and on site stables. We just

1637
01:21:47,040 --> 01:21:50,439
Speaker 3: launched our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising

1638
01:21:50,479 --> 01:21:52,519
Speaker 3: two point eight million dollars. Now why two point eight

1639
01:21:52,560 --> 01:21:55,880
Speaker 3: million dollars? Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a web

1640
01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:58,880
Speaker 3: series in which I performed random acts of kindness for

1641
01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:02,320
Speaker 3: targeting the homeless community. One of the most notable successes

1642
01:22:02,560 --> 01:22:05,559
Speaker 3: was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty

1643
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:10,000
Speaker 3: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is

1644
01:22:10,080 --> 01:22:12,320
Speaker 3: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in

1645
01:22:12,439 --> 01:22:16,519
Speaker 3: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So,

1646
01:22:16,680 --> 01:22:20,680
Speaker 3: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect that I'm

1647
01:22:20,720 --> 01:22:23,679
Speaker 3: not maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time

1648
01:22:24,280 --> 01:22:27,240
Speaker 3: just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

1649
01:22:27,320 --> 01:22:30,759
Speaker 3: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

1650
01:22:30,920 --> 01:22:33,360
Speaker 3: that could have really established long term support for the

1651
01:22:33,400 --> 01:22:37,160
Speaker 3: homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative

1652
01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:41,400
Speaker 3: to do so. This is my do over, this is

1653
01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:44,920
Speaker 3: our new beginning. Together, we can attack this at the

1654
01:22:45,040 --> 01:22:49,320
Speaker 3: route by specifically helping our homeless black boys who are

1655
01:22:49,439 --> 01:22:54,360
Speaker 3: already disproportionately represented in the American fossil care system. I'm

1656
01:22:54,439 --> 01:22:58,400
Speaker 3: the Terisarwickfield. I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting

1657
01:22:58,479 --> 01:23:00,960
Speaker 3: my work with the homeless as well as my personal

1658
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:05,560
Speaker 3: adoption journey. Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me

1659
01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:11,639
Speaker 3: is truly providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit

1660
01:23:11,760 --> 01:23:15,920
Speaker 3: Kingdomroyal dot com for more details Crown of King and

1661
01:23:16,040 --> 01:23:26,920
Speaker 3: make a donation today. Man, I hope y'all enjoyed that episode. Well,

1662
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:29,160
Speaker 3: here's my favorite part of the podcast where I speak

1663
01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:33,479
Speaker 3: to my future Wifey. Dear future Wifey, I can't wait

1664
01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:36,439
Speaker 3: for the day we stand side by side, hearts aligned,

1665
01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:40,080
Speaker 3: hands lifted high, and voices joined in worship. To me,

1666
01:23:40,720 --> 01:23:43,360
Speaker 3: there would be nothing more beautiful than watching you surrender

1667
01:23:43,400 --> 01:23:46,840
Speaker 3: to God, the one who brought us together. When your

1668
01:23:46,880 --> 01:23:49,720
Speaker 3: tears fall in his presence, I will thank him for

1669
01:23:49,840 --> 01:23:53,080
Speaker 3: every drop because it means your spirit is tender before him.

1670
01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:58,120
Speaker 3: Worship will be our glue. It would be the altar

1671
01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:01,360
Speaker 3: we return to when life gets he the well we

1672
01:24:01,560 --> 01:24:03,880
Speaker 3: draw from when we feel dry, and the weapon we

1673
01:24:04,400 --> 01:24:07,560
Speaker 3: wild when the enemy tries to creep in when you

1674
01:24:07,680 --> 01:24:12,160
Speaker 3: lose strength, I'll sing over you. When I stumble, You'll

1675
01:24:12,200 --> 01:24:16,840
Speaker 3: remind me of God's promises. Together, our worship will echo

1676
01:24:17,520 --> 01:24:21,479
Speaker 3: louder than any storm. I dream of a home where

1677
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:26,519
Speaker 3: prayer is normal, worship is natural, and God's presence feels permanent,

1678
01:24:26,640 --> 01:24:28,880
Speaker 3: not just in church pews, but in our living room,

1679
01:24:29,479 --> 01:24:34,000
Speaker 3: our car rides, our late night whispers before bed. Worship

1680
01:24:34,080 --> 01:24:37,040
Speaker 3: won't just be something we do, it will be who

1681
01:24:37,120 --> 01:24:40,240
Speaker 3: we are. So when I picture us, I don't just

1682
01:24:40,280 --> 01:24:42,680
Speaker 3: see marriage. I see ministry. I see us move in

1683
01:24:42,800 --> 01:24:47,240
Speaker 3: heaven with harmonize hallelujahs. I see a union so rooted

1684
01:24:47,320 --> 01:24:50,200
Speaker 3: in worship that even our children will learn to lift

1685
01:24:50,280 --> 01:24:56,160
Speaker 3: their hands by watching hours your future hopey. I hope

1686
01:24:56,200 --> 01:24:58,920
Speaker 3: you enjoy this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

1687
01:24:59,080 --> 01:25:04,599
Speaker 3: Remember lit live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving.

1688
01:25:05,040 --> 01:25:07,320
Speaker 3: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and

1689
01:25:07,360 --> 01:25:11,200
Speaker 3: YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify,

1690
01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:14,559
Speaker 3: and Stitcher. We welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts

1691
01:25:14,600 --> 01:25:15,519
Speaker 3: with your friends and family.