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Speaker 1: I didn't want to interview you.

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Speaker 2: I get a lot of backlash, but listen, I gotta

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Speaker 2: be submitted to what God called me to do.

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Speaker 3: Who is Sam Callyer?

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm rediscovering that my life started in poverty.

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Speaker 4: My mother had five kids. At twenty one, Me and

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Speaker 4: my twin sister were the fourth and fifth.

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Speaker 1: Do you struggle with abandonment issues?

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Speaker 4: The Lord did a supernatural work with my adoptive parents.

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Speaker 1: They made adoption of fairy tale.

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Speaker 4: We were going to preschool telling everybody we were adopted,

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Speaker 4: and they were going to their parents saying can we

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Speaker 4: be adopted? What I discover from that is that I

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Speaker 4: did not have an abandonment boom.

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Speaker 1: I had an attachment.

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Speaker 4: Everybody leaves me, I don't leave them, which means I'll

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Speaker 4: stay in something.

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Speaker 1: Way too long. What led to your divorce?

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Speaker 2: It wasn't like one lad with another one did a

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Speaker 2: counter suit and y'all made a joint decision to go

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Speaker 2: ahead of file.

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Speaker 4: You know, it was a little more complicated than that.

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Speaker 4: For the sake of honoring her.

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Speaker 1: There was a discussion and we landed on the joint filing.

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Speaker 3: What is your hope when it comes to your ex wife?

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Speaker 1: Hope about what I don't know. You tell me, I

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Speaker 1: want to give real answers. That's what I want.

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Speaker 4: I remember having a lot of hope. The divorce is

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Speaker 4: so tumultuous that I forgot. I'm gonna just be honest.

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Speaker 4: And I have never said any of this publicly. There's

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Speaker 4: an obvious her right. I don't want to be the

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Speaker 4: butter of a joke, but I want her to be

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Speaker 4: everything God's called her to be because I remember when

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Speaker 4: I met her, I saw it in our life, and she's

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Speaker 4: the mother of my son. I want him to see

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Speaker 4: her amazing. I want him to see what I saw, and.

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Speaker 1: I want to do the same.

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Speaker 4: What does it mean to be Sam two point zero?

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Speaker 4: And I get it because you're held to a higher standard.

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Speaker 4: I've apologized to the public, and my commitment to the

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Speaker 4: public is to be better than I've ever been. But

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Speaker 4: if we are believers, there is no evidence in the

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Speaker 4: text of repentance, grace, restoration, rehabilitation upon accountability not being

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Speaker 4: true for pastors.

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Speaker 2: And this is something that the Holy Spirit just dropped

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Speaker 2: in my heart. Can you pray right now for your

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Speaker 2: ex wife.

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Speaker 1: I'm leaving the interview. I'm leaving it what's going on?

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Speaker 1: What's going on? The Dear Future WiFi podcast has global impact.

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Speaker 4: From Texas, I have been on this joy of healing

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Speaker 4: and self discovery and this podcast has been a vital

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Speaker 4: part of my process.

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Speaker 1: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 1: founding authentic spirituality.

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Speaker 3: California.

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Speaker 4: I learned so much as a single man through your

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Speaker 4: podcast and continue to learn so much as.

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Speaker 1: Now a married man Nigeria. This is just therapy for me.

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Speaker 4: You know, I've been healed, I've been strengthing in my

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Speaker 4: convictions on the sto to do single hoopta Amsterdam way

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Speaker 4: that you've shown us how it is possible for a

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Speaker 4: man to be as intentional as you are.

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Speaker 3: New Jersey.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 2: life after divorce.

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Speaker 3: To New York.

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Speaker 2: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give

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Speaker 2: me hope and courage that God does have a husband

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Speaker 2: for me.

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Speaker 3: Discover, uncover and recover love.

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Speaker 2: I'm a terrissaar Whitfield and this is season ten of

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Speaker 2: the Dear Future Wifie podcasts. Welcome to a Dear Future

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Speaker 2: Wifie podcast. I'm your host laterras Ar Whickfield. Listen, are

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Speaker 2: you still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking

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Speaker 2: up with us, come on, can we get a commitment?

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Speaker 2: Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you're turning

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Speaker 2: on your notification bell so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 2: And let me just shout out the patriots right now.

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Speaker 2: Thank y'all for following this journey. Getting behind the scenes footage.

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Speaker 2: I'm Patreon. Make sure you click on the link in

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Speaker 2: the description and join the Patreon. While you're at it,

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Speaker 2: why don't you just go there and join the melon list.

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Speaker 2: We have an amazing book that's going to be coming out,

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Speaker 2: a Student of Love, and I want to make sure

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Speaker 2: that all of y'all get an opportunity to digest these

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Speaker 2: gems that are in this book. But I'll tell y'all

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Speaker 2: more about that as that time comes.

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Speaker 3: Listen.

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Speaker 1: This episode is pretty pretty dope.

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Speaker 2: I met this king when I was in at the

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Speaker 2: Essence Festival a couple of months ago. He interviewed me

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Speaker 2: for his platform, and so I felt like it's just

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Speaker 2: made all the sense in the world to bring in

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Speaker 2: a differuture wifey podcast. So without further do Welcome to

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Speaker 2: a Differture wifey podcast. My homie Sam, call you how

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Speaker 2: you're going?

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Speaker 1: Team? Can I shake your hands? Yeah? I just reached under.

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Speaker 4: Man, I'm uh, I'm honored to be here. Why do

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Speaker 4: you say that, I'm honored because I'm from Atlanta, Georgia.

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Speaker 1: And then I walked in and saw the legendary.

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Speaker 3: Yellow cows in a room.

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Speaker 4: All right, I mean it looks like you're in a

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Speaker 4: stadium when it's online, big like a stadium. And so

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Speaker 4: it's just been so many people have sat in this chair,

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Speaker 4: and as you know, my life over the last five

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Speaker 4: years has been just so many ups and downs. And

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Speaker 4: so when you find individuals who've been blessed, like you've

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Speaker 4: been blessed with this type of platform and they extend it,

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Speaker 4: it just means everything to me.

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Speaker 2: So well, well, let me tell you something. One of

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Speaker 2: the hardest things to find is men to sit on

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Speaker 2: the yellow couch because a lot of men don't want

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Speaker 2: to operate in transparency. And so every time, like I've

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Speaker 2: tried to get certain on the podcast and be like, man,

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Speaker 2: I'm from telling all.

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Speaker 1: My mind, you know what I mean? Like what no, Like, no,

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Speaker 1: we need spaces.

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Speaker 2: I created this space for myself to share my flaws.

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Speaker 2: And I said, you know what, I couldn't be the

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Speaker 2: only person going through these issues and navigating these idio secrecies.

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Speaker 2: Why can't I provide a space starting out for myself

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Speaker 2: so that I can be transparent and vulnerable. And the

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Speaker 2: Bible says confess your false one to another so that

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Speaker 2: you may be healed.

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Speaker 3: And so I'll create a platform for that.

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Speaker 2: And then what happened that other people started joining the

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Speaker 2: podcast and they knew it was a safe space to

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Speaker 2: share their stories and their issues and hurts, habits and

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Speaker 2: hang ups. So got that from Celebrate Recovery because I've

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Speaker 2: been through CRR so and so it just became a

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Speaker 2: place for healing. It's nothing judgment zone. And so that's

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Speaker 2: what I want to do. I want to chop it

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Speaker 2: up with you and just talk all things love, relationship, marriage,

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Speaker 2: singleness and just a journey. So when I ask you,

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Speaker 2: if I were to ask you right now, who is

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Speaker 2: call you?

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Speaker 1: What would you do? You know I'm rediscovering that. I'm

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Speaker 1: rediscovering that.

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Speaker 3: That's fair.

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Speaker 4: Well, you know me and you spoke a little bit

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Speaker 4: earlier about your adoption journey and the kids that you've adopted.

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Speaker 4: You know, my life started in poverty, and my mother

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Speaker 4: had five kids at twenty one, at twenty one, and

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Speaker 4: it was me and my twin sister were the fourth

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Speaker 4: and fifth. My dad was I predicted the drugs at

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Speaker 4: the time. He passed away from that addiction during COVID.

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Speaker 4: Never met him, It's okay. Spoke to him twice on

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Speaker 4: the phone and knew it was him every time, and

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Speaker 4: it was like his voice was like shooting through the

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Speaker 4: drugs and I could just hear it over the phone.

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Speaker 1: He signed, I mean, he was a happy guy.

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Speaker 4: And that was roughly around, you know, a kind of

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Speaker 4: twenty five. But my life started, and I'm supposed to

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Speaker 4: be a statistic because it started with my dad doing

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Speaker 4: that and my mother at the time, you know, they

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Speaker 4: kind of trace her steps back to her living in

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Speaker 4: a prostitution house. And so she's twenty one with five

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Speaker 4: kids on welfare, trying to figure out how to make

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Speaker 4: it and.

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Speaker 1: What city is joab Bro, what city? What's she in? Augusta,

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Speaker 1: Augusta Georgian.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And so she sends us I kind of call

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Speaker 4: it the Moses story, send us up the river, and

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Speaker 4: hopes they would work out gave us up for adoption.

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Speaker 4: We got adopted, raising a Christian home on the streets

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Speaker 4: of Auburn Avenue in Atlanta.

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Speaker 1: And so I'm rediscovering who I am.

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Speaker 4: But I think the hope is that I would be

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Speaker 4: someone that would represent being able to rise out of

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Speaker 4: the ashes to become what God wants to do.

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Speaker 3: What do you think is your purpose?

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Speaker 1: Wait?

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Speaker 4: Thing God put you on this earth? So you at

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Speaker 4: the gate like this, you cop on.

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Speaker 2: The I'm just I'm just falling. I just want to

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Speaker 2: know who you are, who think you are? Has God

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Speaker 2: showed you? Because a lot of times we may be

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Speaker 2: operating in spaces and occupations job titles that we're doing,

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Speaker 2: but we know that that's not what we're supposed to do.

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Speaker 3: It's just a means to an end.

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Speaker 2: And even sometimes you have pastors that may be pastoring

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Speaker 2: because their father was a pastor and they inherit the church,

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Speaker 2: but they said.

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Speaker 3: I never want to do that. I want to be

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Speaker 3: a rapper.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, So they're operating in a position that they weren't

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Speaker 2: really their heart was. Don't believe that that's what God

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Speaker 2: put them on this earth together, even fulfilling the quote

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Speaker 2: unquote will of God.

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Speaker 1: About this master. So my question you is, what do

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Speaker 1: you think your purpose is?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, it maybe was about eight years when

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Speaker 4: I discovered who I was in terms of what God

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Speaker 4: had put on the inside of me. I talk all

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Speaker 4: the time about Jeremiah one to five. Before you were

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Speaker 4: formed in your mother's womb, I knew you and me.

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Speaker 4: What that has always meant is that before we were

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Speaker 4: even born, God puts something on the inside of all

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Speaker 4: of us that we are to live out.

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Speaker 1: Dear future wife, it was in you right and it

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Speaker 1: was birth.

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Speaker 4: And I think for me, with the Lord put in me,

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Speaker 4: was this desire and this gift to help others discover

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Speaker 4: what was put on the inside of them. And I

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Speaker 4: think that comes in many ways. You know, a lot

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Speaker 4: so many individuals have different ideas on what purpose is

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Speaker 4: and how you get there, whether it be occupation or

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Speaker 4: a title or so on and so forth. But I

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Speaker 4: think whatever your purpose is, it's something that transcends occupation, and.

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Speaker 1: It is a It is a lifestyle.

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Speaker 4: It is a gift set that you can work out

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Speaker 4: in many different ways. And so if I could do

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Speaker 4: one thing for the rest of my life, it would

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Speaker 4: be helping others discover who they are and helping them

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Speaker 4: craft a strategy and to mobilize whatever those gifts are

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Speaker 4: that it would come to life.

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Speaker 2: You brought me into the conversation about dear future wifey.

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Speaker 2: Dear future wife he was birth in twenty seventeen, and

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Speaker 2: I've never shared this story, but it was in twenty

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Speaker 2: seventeen I wrote a letter to my future wifey after

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Speaker 2: coming out of this toxic relationship with this individual. It

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Speaker 2: was in relationship, was a situationship, and I remember crying

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Speaker 2: myself to sleep. I woke up the next morning and

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Speaker 2: as soon as I opened my eyes, tear starts streaming

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Speaker 2: down my face again.

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Speaker 1: I was like, God, what is going on?

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Speaker 2: And I was talking to God about this particular woman,

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Speaker 2: and God said, I want you to write to your

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Speaker 2: future wifey. And I was like, well, I mean, what

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Speaker 2: do you mean? Like why are you gonna tell me

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Speaker 2: to write at six o'clock in the morning, you know?

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Speaker 2: And I began to write a letter to my future wifey.

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Speaker 2: And the reason why he told me to do that

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Speaker 2: is because what I wrote on that paper was not

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Speaker 2: what I was entertaining with the woman. And I posted

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Speaker 2: it on Facebook and people were commenting like, oh my

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Speaker 2: God's most beautiful letter I've ever read from.

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Speaker 1: A man was just moving people. People was DM and me.

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Speaker 2: People were talking about how healing just hearing me say that.

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Speaker 2: And she called me and was like, how dare you

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Speaker 2: write this letter and post that on Facebook? And I said,

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Speaker 2: what did you think about it? She said, well, why

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Speaker 2: does it matter what I think? If you cared about

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Speaker 2: what I thought, you would have sent it to me.

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Speaker 2: And I said, no, it was an open letter, and

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Speaker 2: I said and she and she got mad and hung

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Speaker 2: on the phone. And she called me back later and

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Speaker 2: she said, I said, why are you getting mad at

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Speaker 2: a letter that I wrote? And she was like, she

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Speaker 2: got silent again, And I said, if it was you

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Speaker 2: who I'm talking about, you wouldn't be upset. You were

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Speaker 2: to respond like the strangers who are hearing a letter

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Speaker 2: a man pour out his heart and they're being moved.

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Speaker 2: If that was you, you'd be like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: this guy that I'm dating, You're so amazed. I just,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I hear you now louder than I've

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Speaker 2: ever heard you before. But God said, she didn't have

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Speaker 2: the ears to hear what my heart was saying and

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Speaker 2: showing me in that moment in twenty seventeen. Who I

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Speaker 2: desired is not what I wrote in that paper. Well,

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Speaker 2: a juxtaposition between who I was entertaining and what I

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Speaker 2: wrote in that paper, those are two totally different people.

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Speaker 2: And so I sit here today excited because November twenty second,

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Speaker 2: I'll be getting married to the woman who I wrote

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Speaker 2: and explained on that piece of paper. And it took

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Speaker 2: that many years to heal so that I could see

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Speaker 2: her clearly. It took years for me to mature, overcome

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Speaker 2: my idio secrecies and my issues, my lack of integrity,

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Speaker 2: all that stuff. It took years to me to grow

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Speaker 2: to that moment so that when God introduced me to

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Speaker 2: this woman, I could manage her heart effectively.

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Speaker 1: Wow. How long did it take?

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Speaker 3: About eight years?

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Speaker 1: It took. It took from twenty seventeen.

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Speaker 2: I started the podcast in twenty twenty, so that's three years,

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Speaker 2: and then twenty five. Wow, So it took eight years.

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Speaker 2: And it was a lot of me facing myself in

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Speaker 2: the mirror. It was a lot of people that I

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Speaker 2: dated on the way that it didn't work out. And

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Speaker 2: I try to tell people all the time, which my

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Speaker 2: book speaks about, is that it will teach you how

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Speaker 2: to effectively date where you don't internalize relationships that don't

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Speaker 2: work out. If it didn't work out, it wasn't supposed

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Speaker 2: to work out. And so sometimes we get stuck in

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Speaker 2: a place that God said, no, this is just a moment.

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Speaker 2: And we build monuments in moments, and God is wanted

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Speaker 2: to say, Hey, this is just the moment. Don't build

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Speaker 2: a monument in it, and go ahead and grow from it.

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Speaker 2: And so my question to you is where were areas

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Speaker 2: of your life where you look back at it, and

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Speaker 2: especially when areas were love that you look back and go,

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Speaker 2: I see what God is trying to teach me, and

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Speaker 2: I've learned from this and through this. When you think

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Speaker 2: about that, do you go all way back to high school?

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Speaker 2: Do you go back to college? Where do you go

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Speaker 2: back to? Where does your mind automatically go back to?

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Speaker 4: It absolutely jumps back to my marriage first, just because

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Speaker 4: it's on the top of my mind. It's every day,

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Speaker 4: it's thinking through it, it's navigating divorce and the challenges

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Speaker 4: of co parenting and so on and so forth. And

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Speaker 4: I'll give a lesson that I learned in therapy. It

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Speaker 4: was probably about two weeks before the divorce began and

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Speaker 4: I kind of went away. You know, everybody has their

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Speaker 4: reason for divorce, right. We had a joint filing, so

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Speaker 4: there was mine and then there was also her, and

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Speaker 4: so she has her reason and I have, you know,

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Speaker 4: my particular reason. And I think for me, especially thinking

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Speaker 4: about this as a pastor, going man, do I want

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Speaker 4: to do? I want to fight for this? Do I

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Speaker 4: want to go back? And do we want to long suffer?

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Speaker 4: What can we do to make this work?

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Speaker 3: And how many years were married?

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Speaker 4: We were married for eight years? Eight years. Matt got

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Speaker 4: married after two months, which this is what I'm getting

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Speaker 4: ready to jump into.

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Speaker 1: And it okay too, Yes?

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Speaker 3: Two months?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, to hear that he got married in two months?

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Speaker 2: Good lord, he said, He said, said you had me

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Speaker 2: at Hello? He said, hello, will you marry me?

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Speaker 1: Will you marry me? I was just and I said

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Speaker 1: this on the Christian Post.

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Speaker 4: I'll say it again, but I don't think y'all are

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Speaker 4: going to take it and turn into a headline like

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Speaker 4: they did because the Christian Post.

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Speaker 1: He asked me, He's like, well, why would you get

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Speaker 1: married after two months?

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Speaker 4: He had just come out of a marriage, and now

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Speaker 4: y'all date a week after and now you're married too much?

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Speaker 1: Why would you do that?

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Speaker 4: And he was kind of coming at me, and I

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Speaker 4: tried to make a joke and I said, well, Beyonce

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Speaker 4: said drunk in love.

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Speaker 1: And he made that the headline, the pastor is drunk.

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Speaker 1: And I said, Leonardo, he said the pastor was drinking.

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Speaker 1: That was the headline.

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Speaker 4: I said, Leonod, you're supposed to be helping me figure,

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Speaker 4: but I was.

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Speaker 1: I was drunk in love. But there was a.

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Speaker 4: Big lesson that came out of that that I actually

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Speaker 4: looked back on my life and I see it all

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Speaker 4: over my relation.

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Speaker 1: Let me that how long was she divorced before you

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Speaker 1: got married? She got divorced and then we got married

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Speaker 1: two months later.

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Speaker 2: No huh, yes, so so not only did you marry

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Speaker 2: her two months after meeting her, she was only divorced

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Speaker 2: two months.

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Speaker 4: Yes, which we're gonna get into my failures later.

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Speaker 1: This is Kermit the frog and I'm sipping my butt.

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Speaker 4: But one of them is you know, I would leave,

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Speaker 4: And this is I believe in headship, So the biblical

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Speaker 4: concept of headship, and listen, everybody has to make their

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Speaker 4: own decision, absolutely, But as the man in the relationship,

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Speaker 4: could I have done a better job of helping us.

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Speaker 1: Wait, absolutely, could I have stopped this? Absolutely?

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Speaker 4: Did I know? Was it a bad decision? Absolutely? Does

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Speaker 4: accountability need to be taken? Absolutely right? And so I

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Speaker 4: say that, But the lesson in that from me.

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Speaker 2: Came.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it was full circle.

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Speaker 4: I went away and I'm gonna shout him out my therapist,

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Speaker 4: Jason Van Ruler. And there's a place in Nashville called

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Speaker 4: on Site, and on Site is it's a place where

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Speaker 4: most Christian celebrities go, and or celebrities that happened to

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Speaker 4: be Christian. You understand the difference. It's off the grid,

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Speaker 4: got to turn your phone off and you go. And

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Speaker 4: they specialize in what they call psycho drama, which we

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Speaker 4: will get into later, but you know about.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was in it.

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Speaker 2: I did a cycle drama when I got from my

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Speaker 2: high school for taking a gun to school.

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Speaker 1: Uh just told y.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was a little knucklehead when I was growing up. Listen, man,

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Speaker 2: it's supposed to be a safe space. You ain't supposed

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Speaker 2: to laugh at me, Sam, Sam, this is my childhood trauma. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I was a hug and a makon. But what were

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Speaker 2: you going to psycho drama. So I went to school.

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Speaker 2: I went to Skyline High School. My brother has shot

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Speaker 2: the mirror in the bathroom. He had he had bought

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Speaker 2: a gun and he shot the mirror out playing. So

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Speaker 2: he said, well, well, dad gets home, he's gonna make

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Speaker 2: me get rid of the gun. So he came up

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Speaker 2: with this brainiac idea for me to take it to

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Speaker 2: school and sell it. It was my sophomore year in

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Speaker 2: high school. I took the gun to school. I ended

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Speaker 2: up getting caught with it. I didn't have it wasn't loaded.

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Speaker 2: It was a thirty eight smith in western They caught

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Speaker 2: me at the school. They took me, didn't go to jail.

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Speaker 2: He had this Yeah, it was a thirty eight, big

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Speaker 2: old long that had the thing go down the side

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Speaker 2: of my pants and all that walking around like a

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Speaker 2: penguin through the same and so they took me to

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Speaker 2: this little holding area. They didn't take me at juvenile

396
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Speaker 2: but they had this little hold in the area, and

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Speaker 2: my dad came and picked me up and I was

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Speaker 2: sent to all turn to school. And so they came

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Speaker 2: up with this great idea to say, hey, let's grab

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Speaker 2: some of these kids, who was a school of fifty.

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Speaker 2: Let's get about eight of them and we'll do a

402
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,760
Speaker 2: play which was called Real Life that later became a

403
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Speaker 2: published play, but it was a psycho drama. So they

404
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:56,800
Speaker 2: had us reenact rewrote these stories about these young teenagers

405
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Speaker 2: that's in games and people that was making all these

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Speaker 2: bad decis and so that we could see what our

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00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,120
Speaker 2: decisions look like, playing either the victim of the person

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Speaker 2: or playing the young man that keep fighting and end

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Speaker 2: up getting killed. So we were able to learn through

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Speaker 2: a cycle drama and it was it was probably who.

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Speaker 4: They say, the body keeps the score absolutely and as

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Speaker 4: you move, it's wild how you move through the drama

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Speaker 4: and it starts to reveal where the trauma is and

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Speaker 4: then it heals. So I'm doing this and it's a

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Speaker 4: it's twenty eight hours of therapy with Jason van Ruler

416
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Speaker 4: three days straight. Now, we didn't go to on site.

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Speaker 4: He's one of their main therapists. And so he said,

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Speaker 4: you know, he gave me it was like eight grand

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Speaker 4: to go to on site. So he's like, look, if

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Speaker 4: you want to over twenty eight hours for twenty eight hours,

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Speaker 4: So it's yes, it was a three day experience, a

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Speaker 4: three day experience, yes, And he said look, if you

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Speaker 4: want to say, two thousand, come to my house in

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Speaker 4: South Dakota, and I'm going to teach you the same

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Speaker 4: stuff that I teach here. So I went to his

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Speaker 4: practice up in South d Him. I felt like I

427
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 4: was going to visit Kanye in Wyoming. And so I mean,

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Speaker 4: within the first thirty minutes he listens to my story.

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Speaker 4: Because my question when I went to him was what

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Speaker 4: do I need to do now? I run into a

431
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,680
Speaker 4: brick wall. Things were exploding. After eight years, I said,

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Speaker 4: I need and I need to go back and get

433
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Speaker 4: inventory on how I got here, how I can get healthy,

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Speaker 4: how I can stay healthy, and how I can build

435
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Speaker 4: a life that God is pleased with in pursuing my

436
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 4: purpose and all of the above. And after thirty minutes,

437
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 4: he said, I want to I want to show you something.

438
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Speaker 4: We're talking about my lessons, my greatest lessons, and and

439
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 4: it's all throughout my love life.

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Speaker 1: He said, I want to show you something. He put

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Speaker 1: out his whiteboard and he.

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Speaker 4: Drew a circle, and he drew a circle in that,

443
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 4: and another circle in another circle like a what is

444
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 4: a Russian nesting doll, And in the middle it's a

445
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:57,680
Speaker 4: little circle and he said This is called the vulnerability

446
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 4: will and he says in the middle, he pulled out

447
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 4: a key and I still had his key. He said,

448
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 4: I'm gonna give you this key. I want you to

449
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 4: keep this key for the rest of your life. This

450
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 4: key unlocks the center. In the center circle is your

451
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 4: greatest fears, your greatest desires, your greatest secrets. It's the

452
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 4: people that are in this circle. You trust them implicitly

453
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 4: with everything, he said. The circle outside of that, they're

454
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 4: close friends, but they don't get the center.

455
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: But they're close.

456
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 3: And he said.

457
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 4: The circle outside of that colleagues people you know, he said,

458
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 4: And then it's the world. What you have to do,

459
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:39,199
Speaker 4: he said, this key is only to be given the

460
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 4: people that have earned the center. But to get to

461
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 4: the center, you need to make them go from one

462
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 4: circle to the next, and then they graduate from that

463
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 4: to the next. So by the time they get to

464
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 4: the center, this key matters.

465
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:51,840
Speaker 1: He said.

466
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 4: Here's what you keep doing with your life. You keep

467
00:21:55,200 --> 00:22:01,640
Speaker 4: handing people the key that you'd just met, and then

468
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:06,000
Speaker 4: you wonder why they don't care about the center. Then

469
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 4: you wonder why, wait, this isn't You're not supposed to

470
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 4: be here. What you we don't vibe in this. And

471
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 4: he said, and this, and this is the issue. And

472
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 4: if you continue to do this, you're going to continue

473
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 4: to have toxic relationships.

474
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,880
Speaker 1: You're going to continue to not be with the right person.

475
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 4: You're going to continue to invite people into the most

476
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 4: vulnerable parts of yourself and they're going to destroy you.

477
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 4: And he's not he wasn't just talking about romance. He said,

478
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 4: you do this with your friendships, you'll meet somebody. And

479
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 4: it's because your pastors had so many pastors like this.

480
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,159
Speaker 1: We talked about all the time. It's our job to

481
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,119
Speaker 1: believe the best.

482
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:40,919
Speaker 4: But that's our gift, right, Like I just not just

483
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,439
Speaker 4: I met you that sence, but it was gonna tear

484
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 4: out right, and I mean we hit it off immediately,

485
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:50,120
Speaker 4: and my normal personality, let's go eat, let's do this.

486
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,640
Speaker 1: Here's my number, here's my social security you know, it's

487
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 1: just like.

488
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 2: I tell you, if you want to give me your

489
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,400
Speaker 2: credit card, just tell me, give me a credit card,

490
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 2: give me your bank account.

491
00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 3: Information will be good.

492
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

493
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 4: And you know what I've had to learn, and what

494
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 4: I'm learning is that not everybody is the same. And

495
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,080
Speaker 4: there are people out here that you know, for me.

496
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:19,240
Speaker 4: I wouldn't dream of crossing anybody. I just you know,

497
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,480
Speaker 4: I want to love people well, I want to believe

498
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:26,240
Speaker 4: the best. I'm never thinking about plying or doing or stealing.

499
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 4: But there are people that have not developed certain things.

500
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 3: Yep.

501
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 1: And if you're walking around handing.

502
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 4: The key to everybody, then eventually you're going to become

503
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 4: your greatest enemy.

504
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 1: Let me ask you, do you start struggle with abandonment issues?

505
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 4: M you know, I've never struggled with abandonment. But let

506
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 4: me tell you what I did discover that I struggle with.

507
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 4: Because when I weigh and let me pause on abandonment.

508
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,119
Speaker 4: So for whatever reason, we'll talk about adoption for a second.

509
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:55,400
Speaker 1: Yep.

510
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 4: For whatever reason, the Lord did a supernatural work in

511
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 4: the life of me and my sister with my adoptive parents.

512
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,719
Speaker 4: Adoptive parents, they were Christian, but my dad he was

513
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 4: fifty when he adopted us. My mom was like ten

514
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,959
Speaker 4: years younger. Get it, left, the christ got together. My

515
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,919
Speaker 4: mom couldn't have kids. And then they, you know, they

516
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 4: came to and adopted us. Now we they black, so

517
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 4: we looked like them. So everybody then nobody knew adopted, Yes,

518
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 4: and they I don't it just had to be the

519
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 4: work of the Lord and the spirit that just had

520
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 4: my parents know they made adoption of fairy tale. So

521
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 4: when we were people asked me, when did you know

522
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,919
Speaker 4: that you were adopted? I said from day one? I

523
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 4: don't remember, not knowing how I was adopted, and I

524
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 4: was like two two three four. But the but the story,

525
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 4: it was like a Disney story. We rescued you, you

526
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 4: your parents.

527
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 2: We don't know the full story, but we know that

528
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 2: you can take How old you said you were two

529
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 2: three four?

530
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 1: How old was you like four?

531
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: He said, I was two three four.

532
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 1: I don't remember. That's my point. I don't remember.

533
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 4: But what I do remember is that we were going

534
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:07,199
Speaker 4: to preschool telling everybody we were adopted, and and they

535
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,440
Speaker 4: were going to their parents saying can we be adopted?

536
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 1: It was just a like is this what we they adopted?

537
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 3: We were like made adoption.

538
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 1: We made it cool. And that's because of my parents.

539
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 4: So for whatever reason, I personally, you know, I can't

540
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 4: speak from my sister later on in life, but I

541
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 4: personally never felt abandoned. My personality also lends itself Again,

542
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 4: I'm walking around handing people the key. My personality lends

543
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,440
Speaker 4: itself to glass half full versus half empty. So and

544
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 4: this is a lot of things that you'll see in

545
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 4: children that are in foster characture and adopted.

546
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: It depends where do you want to look.

547
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 4: And for me, it was never about what I didn't have,

548
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,240
Speaker 4: It was about what I did happen. So I always

549
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:53,879
Speaker 4: felt rescued and accepted versus leaning into rejected and abandoned,

550
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 4: even though those things happen. And that's what I had

551
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 4: to come to. My part of therapy, and I'm gonna

552
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 4: get to what I did is yell. My part of

553
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 4: therapy was convincing myself to accept Hey, you know, no,

554
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 4: you were accepted, but there was also a period where.

555
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,360
Speaker 1: You were abandoned.

556
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 4: And I had was like, okay, okay, amen, I will

557
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:14,719
Speaker 4: accept this.

558
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: What I did discover that I.

559
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 4: Had was a small amount of trauma from the first

560
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 4: five months of my life. I got adopted at it

561
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 4: was it was two months, but it was it took

562
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 4: about yeah, I mean you understand, it went fou It

563
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 4: took three more months for us to come home, and

564
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 4: so my parents adopted us that that within that two months,

565
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,159
Speaker 4: in those three months, and so for those three months,

566
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,120
Speaker 4: we didn't have a mother, right, we didn't have a mother,

567
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 4: I didn't have a father. And when I was when

568
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 4: I went away for these three days, uh, Jason, he said,

569
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 4: let's let's go back and this story is gonna be crazy,

570
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:50,439
Speaker 4: but I'm going to tell you.

571
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 1: He said, Now, let's go back and look.

572
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 4: Let's look at your adoption. He said, just we just

573
00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 4: want to cover all. But the question is how did

574
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 4: you get here? How do you get healthy? How do

575
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 4: you stay healthy? Have you ever done trauma around this?

576
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 4: I said no, I've not done trauma work around this.

577
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 4: And so he said, all right, cool, here's I want

578
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 4: you to write down seven names on a piece of

579
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 4: seven pieces of paper. He said, these are people when

580
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 4: you think about the first twelve years of your life.

581
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 4: So you're talking about elementary school, preschool, maybe a little

582
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 4: bit of middle school. These are names that just stand out,

583
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 4: people that you said, don't ask yourself why you remember,

584
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 4: just write them down. And so I write down, you

585
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 4: know my mother, who my father? I write now, my

586
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,719
Speaker 4: twin sister. I write down a random girl I had

587
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 4: a crush with that I just remembered. I don't remember why.

588
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 4: And I wrote down a mentor that I met when

589
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 4: I was twelve, wrote down my best friend at the

590
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 4: time and another person, and he said, okay, now here's

591
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 4: another paper. I want you to write down my biological parents.

592
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 4: So I write that down. He said, Now another paper

593
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 4: writes Sam. He said, now I want you to put

594
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:58,919
Speaker 4: this were in a room and we can walk out

595
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 4: this door and into the room. So he puts Sam

596
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 4: in the middle of the room on the floor. Psychodrama.

597
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,919
Speaker 4: He says, now I want you to take these papers.

598
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 4: We're gonna leave biological lass, and I want you to

599
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 4: put them as close to the paper as what they

600
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:17,640
Speaker 4: represent to you when you think about what they were,

601
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 4: he said. And if it's really close, I want you

602
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,439
Speaker 4: to put them on top of the paper. So I

603
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 4: take my mom and my dad, who adopts me. They

604
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,159
Speaker 4: go on top of the paper. I take my twin sister.

605
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 4: She's like half of the paper, and that's no shade,

606
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 4: it's just my sister. I take my mentor. I put

607
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 4: him a little bit beyond the girl, a little bit

608
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 4: more best friend over here.

609
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 1: He says, all right, he has me the biological parents.

610
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: He says, where do you want to put this? I

611
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: take it. I walk out of the room and he said,

612
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: where are you going away?

613
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 4: And I said, they out here, and he said, okay,

614
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 4: I'm gonna come out there. So then he comes out there. Now,

615
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 4: this is this is just happening. I'm not thinking about it.

616
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 4: I'm I have there's no ill will. I'm just like,

617
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 4: but this is just when you talk. This is where

618
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,440
Speaker 4: I wanted to put him. And he came out there

619
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 4: and he says, all right, put it on the ground.

620
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 4: So we put it on the ground and I'm standing

621
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 4: there and I'm looking at him. He's looking at me,

622
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 4: and he said, so we're outside. He said, so I

623
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 4: guess in there represents home and I said okay. He said,

624
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 4: all right, so they're out here. They didn't make they

625
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 4: didn't make it any who. I'm getting emotional talking about

626
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go through it.

627
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: And so.

628
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 4: He says, what do you want to say to them?

629
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 4: And as soon as he says it, my whole chest

630
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 4: starts to collapse. I'm standing up, my knees are bucking,

631
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 4: and he said, are you okay? I'm like, He's like,

632
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 4: and he's like, all right, let's go back inside. So

633
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 4: he said, so he rushes me back inside. We sit

634
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 4: down on the couch and He's like, so, what was happening?

635
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 4: What was happening out there? And I started getting heavy

636
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 4: again in the chair. He said, okay, let me close

637
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 4: the door. He closes the door, it goes away. He

638
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 4: closed the door, and when it goes away.

639
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: And he said, so you know this heaviness this in

640
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: your chest. I said yeah. He said, that's what that's

641
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: that's the drama. And and up to that point, you

642
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 1: thought you was fine.

643
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 4: I thought I was fine because I didn't because the

644
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 4: typical is abandonment. So I never had people issues with

645
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 4: people leaving me. What I discovered. We went back out.

646
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 4: He said, let's go back outside, and we started interacting

647
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 4: with the papers and he started walking me through it,

648
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 4: and the pain started going away, and the heaviness started

649
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 4: going away.

650
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 1: He was healing me in real time. He was he

651
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:39,479
Speaker 1: and this is what he explained.

652
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 4: What trauma treatment does is it begins, it reduces the wound,

653
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 4: it redefines it, and replaces it with replaces the lie

654
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 4: with the truth, because at some point there was a lie.

655
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 4: So we go in my subconscious and we're dealing with

656
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 4: the line and we're coming out, so we do all that.

657
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 4: What I discover from that is that I did not

658
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 4: have an abandonment womb, had an attachment woond, but it

659
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 4: was it was unique. Everybody leaves me, I don't leave them,

660
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 4: which means I'll stay in something way too long because

661
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 4: in my mind, leaving is wrong and it's in my

662
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 4: it was in my subconscious and you'll stay and you'll fight,

663
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 4: and you'll even when you know, even when you're pleading,

664
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 4: but if there's an inkling of the other person saying

665
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 4: but or please or could you I'm right or whatever,

666
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 4: because I'm not going to do to you what was

667
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 4: done to me.

668
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: And so and so what I'm learning.

669
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 4: Is how to protect myself, you know, and I don't

670
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 4: and I don't think I would have ever understood that

671
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 4: without without this work. But it's been some train wrecks

672
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 4: because I'm a loving guy. I'm a pastor. I believe

673
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 4: the best.

674
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: You know you can. You can tell I'm smiling. I'm happy.

675
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: I got my red shoes on, and this is who

676
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:11,120
Speaker 1: I am.

677
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 2: I asked him what color was he wearing? Black and white?

678
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 2: I like to coordinate with my with my people. He

679
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 2: gonna popped out some red shoes. Now you did, and

680
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: say red, black and white. Try to be different, said.

681
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 4: Ebony, Should I wear the like the fancy shoes? She said,

682
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,719
Speaker 4: where the joins? Some somebody wear that on them, some

683
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 4: red shoes. I'm like, man, but we still coordinated.

684
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 2: Look we did we did it, but she threw it

685
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 2: on some red shoes. I said, that was not what

686
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 2: you tell me that all. And so after eight years

687
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: you said, you you eight years of marriage? Then what

688
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 2: led to your divorce?

689
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 1: Yeah? Who filed? It was a joint finally, so both y'all.

690
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 2: Came to the decision and said it wasn't like one

691
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: lad with another one did a counter suit.

692
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 3: It was like we both had a conversation.

693
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 2: You sat down and said this marriage is no longer

694
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 2: serving the both of us, and y'all made a joint

695
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 2: decision to go ahead of file.

696
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: You know.

697
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 4: It was a little more complicated than that, you know,

698
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 4: And for the sake of honoring her, I will say

699
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 4: that I'll leave it at There was a discussion and

700
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 4: about what the journey had been over the last eight years,

701
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 4: and I was just blame it.

702
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 1: On the attorneys, and we landed on the joint filing.

703
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 4: And I feel I feel that that accurately represents what

704
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 4: our story has been, and what the discussions about divorce

705
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 4: over the years have been.

706
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 1: And so it was, Yes, it was a joint filing.

707
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 2: What is your hope? What is your hope when it

708
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: comes to your ex wife? What is what is that?

709
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: Do you have any hope to say that I'm gonna

710
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 2: put words in about Do you have any hope?

711
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: What hope about? What? I don't know? You tell me, Wow,

712
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 1: I'm only I want to give real answers. That's what

713
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 1: I want, And I mean hope whatever that means.

714
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 2: That's why I said I want to give language to it,

715
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 2: because my mind can go different ways. Uh, I'll share

716
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 2: this with you. When I filed for divorce, I told

717
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 2: my wife, Well, I told God. I said, God, I

718
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 2: know this is the right thing to do. And there's

719
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,839
Speaker 2: nobody I could literally tell and say God wants me

720
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: to file for divorce.

721
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 3: No one will understand.

722
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:38,319
Speaker 2: That went through our pre the marriage counselors that we had,

723
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 2: our pre mariital counselors. That was the same people husband, wife,

724
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 2: a couple. And I said, listen, I gotta filed for divorce.

725
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 2: This this this this marriage ain't working period and and

726
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 2: and I'll be honest, the marriage counselors told me, do

727
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 2: you realize you're doing the productions at doctor Tony Evans church?

728
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,160
Speaker 2: They hire you to produce a Christmas and the these

729
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 2: productions every year. Doctor Evans believes firmly in marriage. What

730
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 2: do you think is going to look like if you

731
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: and I won't even remember the church that was hire

732
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 2: me to do that. What would it look like? How

733
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 2: you think he's going to feel if you filed for divorce?

734
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 2: He's really teen family. I said, I'm be honest with you.

735
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 2: Don't care what doctor Evans says. I don't care if

736
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 2: Bishop Tdjason, the Pope came and sat down with me,

737
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 2: all three of them and told me to stay in

738
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 2: this marriage. It's not that I have a rebellious heart.

739
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 2: I know that this marriage, it is the right thing

740
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 2: for me to do. To file for this divorce. This

741
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 2: was ten years in the main. It was me going

742
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 2: through celebrate recovery, as you heard me say. It was

743
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 2: me joining the thousand men of prayer, consecrating myself, going

744
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:42,480
Speaker 2: to retreats, all this stuff, and I said, this marriage

745
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 2: isn't working. I never give the details of what I'll

746
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 2: always say is that I throw myself on the bus

747
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 2: and say, this is what I did. I cheated on

748
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 2: my wife in the past. And I said, but at

749
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 2: this point, I said, this marriage is no longer working.

750
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 2: So I went and filed for divorce. I said, but

751
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 2: if I'm right God, I said, if I'm right by this,

752
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 2: you'll teach me how to divorce my wife with grace

753
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 2: as well as we'll be able to be cordial in

754
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 2: the future. Man, when I tell you, even after my divorce,

755
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 2: I remember one day God told me get up and

756
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 2: go mow her yard. I said, what I'm gonna look like.

757
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 2: I'm like a crazy person out there mowing the yard

758
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 2: at a place. He said, go do it. I'm teaching

759
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 2: you serving to you. Didn't you didn't steward her heart

760
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: properly while you were married. I want her to see

761
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 2: a change restored delivered.

762
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 1: Man. I said, what that gout to do with mowing

763
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 1: the yard.

764
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 2: I mean, I'll have no accountability to her seeing me

765
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 2: as a changed person. He said, go do it. I

766
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 2: went out there and cut the yard. About two weeks later,

767
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,040
Speaker 2: I even tell her that.

768
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: She called me.

769
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 2: She said, it's strange it that you just don't haven't

770
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 2: cut my yard because I don't know nobody else else

771
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 2: asking the neighbors if they get the yard cutting. The

772
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 2: person decided to cut the yard and no one was like,

773
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 2: I don't know, I will know my line. My line

774
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 2: care God did not mow your yard. She said, so

775
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,439
Speaker 2: you're the last person that you bowed my yard.

776
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 3: I said yeah.

777
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: She said why did you do that?

778
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 2: I said, God told me too, and she was like,

779
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 2: that was really nice to you, and I said, hey,

780
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: that's at least I can do. I had a quick

781
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 2: conversation that was done. A couple of years later, this

782
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 2: woman that I had was dealing with towards the tail

783
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 2: end of our marriage. I ended up sharing with her

784
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 2: the stuff that I had been going through with that girl.

785
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 2: And she said, I just can't believe that you'll ever

786
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 2: put up with a woman that treated you like that.

787
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 2: I said, I know, that's what I went through. And

788
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 2: then she was just like h had a cool little conversation.

789
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: She was like, don't entertain women like this or whatever.

790
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 2: Years later, this woman was my realator who closed on

791
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 2: my house for my future wifey the house that I

792
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 2: bought preparing for my future wife, and she was the realator.

793
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 3: God had me again call her.

794
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 1: I said, man, I don't want to do this. I

795
00:37:58,360 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 1: called her.

796
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 2: She had just wrecked her car and didn't know where

797
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,400
Speaker 2: the money was going to come from. She said, I

798
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 2: was looking for God to open up a door for

799
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 2: some finance to come through.

800
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 3: I said, I already found the house. I found it.

801
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 1: Are you go to do?

802
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 2: Just put your name on it and you go get

803
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 2: this commission of about twenty something thousand dollars.

804
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 3: She said, thank you Jesus did that.

805
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 2: We were sitting in the title company and they said,

806
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: y'all both got the same last name. She said, are

807
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 2: y'all like brothers and sisters? Are like, what what is that?

808
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 3: And they said, I said that's my ex.

809
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: Wife, And they like, I would have never been able to,

810
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 2: you know, suspect that y'all get along so well.

811
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 3: That was literally in twenty twenty three.

812
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 2: August of twenty twenty three my divorce was final, and

813
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:46,800
Speaker 2: December to twenty ninth or twenty fifteen, so we're talking

814
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 2: about eight years. And when I tell you that number

815
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 2: eight stands for new beginnings. When I tell you, God

816
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 2: was able to restore just the friendship, just to be

817
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 2: able for us to coexist in the same space, and

818
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 2: it was never no issues. But it was always like that,

819
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 2: even going through my divorce. It wasn't no big, sloppy whatever.

820
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 2: But I knew that I was making a decision to

821
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,439
Speaker 2: divorce a woman who thought that forever would be spent

822
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 2: with me. So I had to understand how she had

823
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 2: to reconcile that in her mind. But I recognized that

824
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 2: I always say my marriage was the curse victory. It

825
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 2: wasn't bearing fruit in season, and so I said, this

826
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 2: just doesn't work. But I watched God restore everything that

827
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 2: I broke in her. So when I say the hope,

828
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 2: it's just that. My heart posture was. You take vows

829
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 2: with people, you walk down the aisle with them. In

830
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 2: two months, you look at this woman and say, this

831
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,320
Speaker 2: is a woman I'm supposed to marry. You get married,

832
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 2: You take vows believing you're doing the right thing. Relationships

833
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 2: and marriages is extremely complicated. I don't ever expect you

834
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 2: to expose your wife and issues that she's that she.

835
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 3: Might have done in the marriage or whatnot.

836
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 2: But because I believe that marriage is still protected, So

837
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,920
Speaker 2: you go through this marriage, y'all, go through whatever you

838
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,080
Speaker 2: I'll go through. Then you make the decision y'all both

839
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,319
Speaker 2: say let's let's let's file for the vorce. Y'all file

840
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 2: for the vorice, y'all fight and doing all the other stuff,

841
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 2: and it's done, and y'all have kids now. And so

842
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 2: the reality is that we're so used to these broken homes.

843
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 2: When I asked, you, do you have hope? What is

844
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 2: your hope as it comes to your ex wife?

845
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: What is that? I have a lot to say. Okay,

846
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: so you can just be patient. I have because I

847
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 1: just I was just cooking. So I'm gonna let you go. No, no, But.

848
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 4: The first thing I want to say is you are

849
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 4: putting me on your back and carrying me through this interview. Oh,

850
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 4: and I appreciate it for god your glory. I had

851
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 4: I one of the reasons I had to pause was

852
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 4: because I remember having a lot of hope at one

853
00:40:54,239 --> 00:41:02,880
Speaker 4: point and and or, but the divorces so tumultuous publicly

854
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 4: and privately.

855
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: That I forgot. I'm gonna just be honest, I forgot.

856
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 4: So when you asked me, I had to go back.

857
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 4: I'm like, what did I do? What did I used

858
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 4: to believe? How did I? And I found my way there?

859
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 4: But I need to set it up okay, And I

860
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,839
Speaker 4: have never said any of this publicly, but I believe

861
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:26,840
Speaker 4: the Lord wants me to say this, and I'm upset

862
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 4: at you for it. I'm gonna I'm gonna real honest

863
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 4: with you. I'm gonna have a conversation with you. I'm

864
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 4: very upset at you for this. But let me tell

865
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 4: you this before you say that. That's why I bear

866
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,640
Speaker 4: my own scars. I don't sit in front of people

867
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 4: acting like I'm perfect. I had to learn I made mistakes.

868
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 2: Everybody always hears me say I mismanaged the heart of

869
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 2: a woman. That is the worst thing that I ever did.

870
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 2: I took vows, but didn't hold those vows sacred. I

871
00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 2: cheated on this woman, not once, but multiple times. So

872
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:59,880
Speaker 2: I know that in my flawed mindset, my flawed my

873
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,720
Speaker 2: I said this broken boy kept sitting in the front

874
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:05,840
Speaker 2: seat of my marriage driving the car, and I recognized

875
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 2: after going through therapy, after getting healed, after being said free,

876
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 2: after being delivered, I've been able to sit and face

877
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 2: myself in the mirror and say that little N word

878
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 2: is what I want to say. That little dude right there,

879
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 2: he has no more place in my life. And I

880
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 2: said I'm going to show up as a mighty man

881
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: of valor making sound decisions, and when God blesses me

882
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 2: to take vows with another woman, I'm going to honor

883
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: it until I take my last.

884
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 4: Really absolutely, so fight me later. I'm gonna fight you.

885
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 4: The foundation of what I want to say is this vulnerability.

886
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:51,280
Speaker 4: Will there's a decision made from me. She obviously was involved,

887
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 4: she didn't have to marry me, but I take responsibility

888
00:42:55,600 --> 00:43:04,640
Speaker 4: for us eloping, okay, and that's a mistake. That two

889
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:11,920
Speaker 4: month decision turns into eight years of chaos, two hundred

890
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 4: and forty therapy sessions, long suffering mountains of trauma. I'm

891
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 4: having psychotic breaks, all types of things, just me, me, me,

892
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 4: trying to deal with.

893
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: The heaviness. Somebody called me the other day. I saw

894
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 1: you do an interview, and.

895
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,360
Speaker 4: I appreciate how you're navigating you elite pastor you at

896
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,720
Speaker 4: this so there's certain things you're not in, certain things.

897
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 4: But when you said it was hard, I just cried

898
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 4: because I could feel you in that. Out of that,

899
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 4: I make decisions, big mistakes that are not God honoring.

900
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:04,839
Speaker 4: Ruslan asked me, was it saying yes? And I make

901
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 4: those mistakes not as an excuse, but a reason. That's

902
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 4: the coping mechanism. I chose to deal with the dysfunction

903
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 4: in the chaos. And it's not hard to understand that

904
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 4: one marriage into a two month into a too month,

905
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 4: into you don't know each other, you're figuring things out.

906
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 4: It's not hard to see why that could be one

907
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 4: of the craziest things you've ever been a part of.

908
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 1: And there was one moment.

909
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 4: Every year every I mean, I should have left two

910
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:41,759
Speaker 4: years or I should have not let me not even

911
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 4: say I should have left.

912
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: We should have dissolved two years in Why did you

913
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 1: change the word?

914
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:57,600
Speaker 4: Because I think it more accurately represents what it should

915
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:02,240
Speaker 4: have been. We should have both made the decision to dissolve,

916
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 4: because I believe we both were aware, not believe, I

917
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 4: know we were both aware of the dysfunction. And I

918
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 4: can't speak for her, and I would never speak for her,

919
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 4: But what I would say is.

920
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,800
Speaker 1: I know that it was not something.

921
00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 4: That she dreamed of and definitely not something that I

922
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 4: dreamed of, right, So we both should have come together

923
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 4: and made that decision. I have since taken accountability, and

924
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 4: I want to say this, and I'm doing my best

925
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,880
Speaker 4: to navigate everything with love and respect, with all of

926
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 4: the things. The son watching this one day, all of

927
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 4: these things. Absolutely, and so just give me grace, audience,

928
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 4: give me grace. But there has been a question about accountability.

929
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 4: Are you taking account Are you really taking account You

930
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:54,920
Speaker 4: didn't give us this and you didn't And I want

931
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,320
Speaker 4: to say this as I you know, doctor A. R.

932
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:02,879
Speaker 4: Bernard is my covering and I believe in confessing your

933
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 4: sins one to another. And I love what when I

934
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 4: was talking to my publicist is you know, we just

935
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 4: we were talking about this idea of being accountable where

936
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 4: it matters most, being accountable to those that are overseeing you,

937
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 4: that are holding that know your ends and your house.

938
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 4: They know every last gritty detail of everything. And I

939
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,440
Speaker 4: came to them on my knees going this and they

940
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 4: already knew it. So we just want to see if

941
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 4: you was gonna lie about it. Yeah, they already knew.

942
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 4: And then there was this belief. We believe you're a

943
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,360
Speaker 4: humble man. We believe that you're repenting. We believe that

944
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 4: you're taking accountability at the highest level. Pauls and doctor

945
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 4: Rabernard came out of the Nation of Islam so there

946
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,240
Speaker 4: is no weak accountability.

947
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 1: There is no we're not lying, We're not gonna we're

948
00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:52,240
Speaker 1: gonna call a spade a space.

949
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 4: And if you're not repentant, and if we're not ready

950
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 4: to go in this direction, he would say it this way,

951
00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 4: I'm wiping my hands up here.

952
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 1: That's how he talked. It's nation of it strong, and

953
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 1: that he's a believer. Yeah.

954
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 4: But and I asked him one time, what did you

955
00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 4: bring up from the nation? He said, everything you thought,

956
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 4: everything you think. That discipline that hard, you know, And

957
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,360
Speaker 4: this is it's been amazing for me to be with

958
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 4: CCC and to be under a leader like doctor A. R. Bernard,

959
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 4: because the principles of the nation around rehabilitating black men,

960
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 4: it's something that has that is prevalent in them. While

961
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 4: everybody else is running in every direction, they're running towards

962
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 4: going if the Lord says, God is not done there

963
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 4: it is. If you are accountable, if you are humble,

964
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 4: if you are honest. Okay, I wanted to say that

965
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 4: while we were here because I don't want your comments going.

966
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,560
Speaker 1: He ain't he covering up?

967
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:46,760
Speaker 4: No, no, no, this is where we are so immense accountability.

968
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 1: There was a moment and this is what I've never

969
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: shared publicly. There was a moment.

970
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 4: And this is true now, whether really where there was

971
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:04,839
Speaker 4: a massive realization, I'm not your person and you're not

972
00:48:04,840 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 4: my and we know after when you get married up

973
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 4: two months if you're honest, I don't like you, you

974
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:20,200
Speaker 4: don't like me. We know this with public figures doing

975
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 4: the best we can, trying to save face. I don't

976
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:24,760
Speaker 4: leave anybody.

977
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 1: And so.

978
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 4: I remember saying something there that I'll say here again,

979
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:34,080
Speaker 4: and if she watches this, I.

980
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:34,719
Speaker 1: Hope she hears it.

981
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 4: She's beautiful, she's talented, she's annoying, and God, when I

982
00:48:47,120 --> 00:48:51,280
Speaker 4: met her, she was beautiful, talented, annoyed, and that hadn't changed.

983
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: And there's a purpose on her life.

984
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 4: I felt a sense of responsibility for helping. Again, we talk,

985
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 4: but what is my purpose? I believe my purpose is

986
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:05,600
Speaker 4: to help other people discover theirs. So for me, I've

987
00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 4: taken I took so much gratitude and so much honor

988
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 4: being able to help Steward with the lord that placed

989
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 4: on her life. If anybody, if you've ever seen her speak,

990
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 4: you ever seen a preach, if you've ever seen that

991
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 4: girl is amazing.

992
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: That's what you're gonna say, because she's powerful and.

993
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,239
Speaker 4: She's annoyed, and I want and this is what I

994
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,600
Speaker 4: in that moment, in the realization, I want you to

995
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 4: find your person so that you can be everything that

996
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:34,400
Speaker 4: God has called you to be.

997
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 1: I don't want and and there's and there's an obvious hurt.

998
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 1: I talked to.

999
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,879
Speaker 4: Doctor Bernard about this. There's an obvious herd right we

1000
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 4: we we. I mean, we're gonna talk about meeting my

1001
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:48,720
Speaker 4: biological fact. But kid, you know twins, adoptees, they respond,

1002
00:49:48,840 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 4: they respond differently when they meet your biological family. Some

1003
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 4: people embrace them, some people push them away. It's the

1004
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 4: same story. It's just where you want to look. We

1005
00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 4: her and I we've processed the divorce completely different, right,

1006
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:04,799
Speaker 4: And there's obviously immense hurt on her on her end,

1007
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 4: I have not chosen the process it that way.

1008
00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: Partially a part of it is my personality.

1009
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 4: I don't want anything that the man and I'm gonna

1010
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 4: I'll say it this way, that the marriage produced in

1011
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 4: her to remain pain hurt, and I was a part

1012
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 4: of that, and I don't want that to continue to

1013
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 4: plague her. I want her to be free. I want

1014
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:29,840
Speaker 4: her to be happy. I want her to be everything because,

1015
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 4: and this is my opinion, she's at her best when

1016
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 4: she is that. And so my hope is, and I

1017
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 4: hate you for this, I hate it. My hope is

1018
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 4: that I would look up one day and she would

1019
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:51,439
Speaker 4: be happy and that she's ever been. That she would

1020
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 4: be in a marriage if she wants to do that again,

1021
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:57,760
Speaker 4: or a relationship with a man that can fully support

1022
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 4: her the way she needs to be supported, that fits

1023
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 4: her skill set and her gift set in such a

1024
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 4: unique way that it compounds. And she's doing stadiums, and

1025
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 4: she's writing books and she's touring. I don't want to

1026
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 4: be the butt of a joke, I'll say that, but

1027
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 4: I want her to be everything God's called her to

1028
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 4: be because I remember when I met her. I saw

1029
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:23,839
Speaker 4: it all her life and it's still there, absolutely, And

1030
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 4: she's the mother of my son. So I want him

1031
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,400
Speaker 4: to see her fly. I want him to see her amazing.

1032
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 4: I want him to see what I saw, and I

1033
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:37,160
Speaker 4: want to do the same. You know, I this is

1034
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 4: me and doctor Barnard, this is the dream. It's like Sam,

1035
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 4: what is what does it mean to be Sam? Two

1036
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 4: point zero? And who is that everything that you're saying

1037
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 4: about I left the boy in the front seat, and

1038
00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 4: who you're becoming now, and what dear, I was thinking

1039
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:51,680
Speaker 4: about this year. I know we didn't talk about it,

1040
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 4: but I was in my hotel praying for you, and

1041
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 4: I was thinking. I said, man, look at what the

1042
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 4: Lord has done in his life as a result of

1043
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:03,000
Speaker 4: him being transparent, honest and vulnerable, accountable, making so many

1044
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:07,439
Speaker 4: mistakes as you stated before, and God blessed your ministry,

1045
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 4: and I just got excited about that because that's what

1046
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:13,880
Speaker 4: I want, and that is sorry you got to be preaching.

1047
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 4: That is the gospel. It's the idea that if we

1048
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:23,480
Speaker 4: are repentant, if we are accountable, that God's grace is sufficient.

1049
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 4: He takes the light in us moving forward, in us

1050
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,960
Speaker 4: getting up again, and in us being rehabilitated. And I

1051
00:52:30,960 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 4: think the thing we have to be if I put

1052
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 4: my pastor hat on for one second, I think the

1053
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,960
Speaker 4: thing that we have to be okay with is that

1054
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:42,479
Speaker 4: same grace, that same repentance, that same restoration that we

1055
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:44,880
Speaker 4: want and believe in for the lay person.

1056
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 1: Can be true for the leader. Absolutely, I don't know.

1057
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 4: At some point, and this is what I've experienced on

1058
00:52:50,719 --> 00:52:53,800
Speaker 4: and you know it's you thank God for the pain,

1059
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:55,919
Speaker 4: because there's lessons in the pain.

1060
00:52:56,320 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 1: But I've experienced more than ever this season.

1061
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 4: We feel great about the Christians being rehabilitated. We have

1062
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 4: a very difficult time with a leader, and I get

1063
00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:10,799
Speaker 4: it because you're held to a higher standard. So there

1064
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:12,480
Speaker 4: is this belief that you were supposed to walk this way,

1065
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 4: you were supposed to do this. We were looking up

1066
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:19,280
Speaker 4: to you. The dissolving of your marriage hurt so many people.

1067
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 4: And I've said this in one interview and I say

1068
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 4: it here, and I apologize. I've apologized to the public

1069
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,920
Speaker 4: because the public trust you, they trusted me, They've given

1070
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 4: me a platform, and my commitment to the public is

1071
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 4: to be better than I've ever been. And because it

1072
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:41,120
Speaker 4: did hurt. But if we are believers, we have to

1073
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 4: There is no evidence in the text, and I wanted to,

1074
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,439
Speaker 4: I want I knew ill maybe make this statement today,

1075
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 4: So I did all research on it all last night.

1076
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 4: I said, let me make sure, I'm let me look

1077
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 4: through that. There is no evidence in the text of repentance, grace, restoration,

1078
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:59,400
Speaker 4: rehabilitation upon accountability not being true for pastors or for leaders.

1079
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:00,000
Speaker 1: There's no evidence.

1080
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 2: You've seen it allut the Bible with kings. So my

1081
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 2: question to you is this not even a question. This

1082
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:09,799
Speaker 2: is something that the Holy Spirit just dropped in my heart.

1083
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 2: Can you pray right now for your ex wife.

1084
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: I'm leaving the interview. I'm leaving it. What's going on?

1085
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: What's going on?

1086
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 2: Listen?

1087
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:29,160
Speaker 1: Putting in the notes. And it's because I used to

1088
00:54:29,200 --> 00:54:29,760
Speaker 1: be a pastor.

1089
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 2: Well, I'm a licensed minister, and yes I preach and

1090
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 2: I do all that. I'll be preaching at my church

1091
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 2: on September twenty first.

1092
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:39,760
Speaker 1: Put your prophetic gift away now.

1093
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 3: So let me tell you why I sound.

1094
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 2: It's because I'm hearing something in the spirit ram just

1095
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 2: the heart, and I see how the devil has been

1096
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 2: running so rapid and just I'll take you out of

1097
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:57,919
Speaker 2: the equation. Just Christian marriages period, including my own. See,

1098
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 2: people can look at and be like, how could you

1099
00:55:00,440 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 2: be a Christian in cheat? I was a Christian and cheated?

1100
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:07,280
Speaker 2: How can King David be a David in the Bible?

1101
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 2: How can David be called a man after God's own

1102
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 2: heart but then take another man's wife, put that man

1103
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 2: on the front line, getting him killed. But God calls

1104
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 2: him a man after my own heart. See, the problem

1105
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:25,040
Speaker 2: is is that we in this world have a tendency

1106
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 2: to play God and don't realize that God knows the

1107
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,240
Speaker 2: trauma of these individuals.

1108
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 1: He knows the thorn in their flesh.

1109
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 2: As Paul talks about the thorn in my flesh, he says,

1110
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,480
Speaker 2: the things I know to do, but I still don't

1111
00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 2: do anyway. So God knows all that. It doesn't give

1112
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 2: a pass to our mistakes. But that's the grace of

1113
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,319
Speaker 2: God to be like, there is no perfect man. That's

1114
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 2: why Jesus had to come. And so pity to us

1115
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:55,520
Speaker 2: as believers who believe that just because you have a

1116
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:58,839
Speaker 2: title of a pastor, just because you're a prophet, just

1117
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,280
Speaker 2: because you're a EVANGELI is, just because you're a teacher,

1118
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 2: just because you're a Christian, that you are without sin

1119
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:07,200
Speaker 2: and you will no longer make mistakes and you won't

1120
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:11,520
Speaker 2: hurt somebody, you won't do the unthinkable to somebody. What

1121
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 2: you said earlier was having a repented heart. And so

1122
00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 2: what I'm saying to you is this is that the

1123
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 2: devil has been running so rapid because the statistics for

1124
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 2: divorce with Christians are the same as people in the world.

1125
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:28,400
Speaker 2: But we as believers, especially those who have because I

1126
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 2: believe that once you go through divorce, you carry an

1127
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:35,439
Speaker 2: anointing for divorce. You carry anointing to be able to say,

1128
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 2: you know what, I went through that. So now God

1129
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 2: has given me power and dominion and authority if we

1130
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 2: choose to pick up that authority to begin the war

1131
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,759
Speaker 2: against that spirit that has been infiltrating this world. And

1132
00:56:46,800 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 2: so what I decide to do, I said, you know what, Yes,

1133
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 2: I create this whole platform. Why it's and still hope

1134
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 2: in everybody else to believe in love again if they're singles,

1135
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 2: to make sure that we understand that therapy is very

1136
00:56:56,840 --> 00:57:01,240
Speaker 2: necessary in order to overcome our problems. And then let's

1137
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 2: come against the spirit of divorce. That's come against the

1138
00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 2: spirit of division with single people where you see on

1139
00:57:06,719 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 2: social media single men going against single women and everybody's

1140
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,359
Speaker 2: arguing saying we don't need each other when actually we do.

1141
00:57:13,560 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 2: So It's like when I'm hearing you speak about your

1142
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 2: ex wife, the beauty of it is this now you're

1143
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 2: speaking with hope. You said, I hope for her to

1144
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 2: have a better life even outside of me. At the beginning,

1145
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:32,040
Speaker 2: when I ask you that you struggle with trying to

1146
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 2: put words to it. You was like, what because all

1147
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,320
Speaker 2: you can see is the pain. All you saw is

1148
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 2: the confusion. That's all the devil wanted you to see.

1149
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 2: But the minute the Holy Spirit begin to show up,

1150
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 2: you started seeing something greater. Your heart went to go

1151
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,320
Speaker 2: back to the beginning of when you met her. You said,

1152
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 2: I saw it then, and God's word did not lie

1153
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 2: whether she achieved that in my life, which is which

1154
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 2: was the goal that you wanted to have.

1155
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 3: But now that's not the case.

1156
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 2: But you didn't say her calling ends just because you

1157
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:03,640
Speaker 2: said we're divorced. The reality is that the calling that

1158
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 2: God has over her life and the stories that she

1159
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 2: gets to share to be able to say I came

1160
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 2: through these. This is the decision that we made. And

1161
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 2: when y'all can start speaking about each other from a

1162
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 2: heart posture of love and knowing that we share a

1163
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:20,720
Speaker 2: child together, that's all I want. I understand that people

1164
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:23,760
Speaker 2: make bad decisions, they get divorced all the time, but

1165
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 2: I want you. I want to challenge you, as a

1166
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:30,680
Speaker 2: man of God, to speak against the spirit that is

1167
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 2: plaguing your ex wife's mind that's allowing this division to

1168
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 2: take place, as well as within yourself. We're going to

1169
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 2: come against all this so that your son can see

1170
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 2: a healthy mother, that your son can see a healthy father,

1171
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 2: and see these two individuals coexist and co parent together

1172
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 2: and be able to say I love them.

1173
00:58:50,160 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 1: I don't have to choose size. Both of them are great. God.

1174
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 4: When when you ordaining this show, we knew it was you,

1175
00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,439
Speaker 4: but you did not tell me that this moment.

1176
00:59:17,640 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: What happened.

1177
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 4: And so I asked now in Jesus' name, for you

1178
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:35,120
Speaker 4: to cover Tony. Yes God, and I pray that that

1179
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 4: she would be everything that you've called for her to be. Yes, Lord,

1180
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 4: that her gifts would flourish, That you would expand her territory,

1181
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 4: that you would put her on stages that she needs

1182
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:57,200
Speaker 4: to be on, so that somebody that needs what you've

1183
00:59:57,240 --> 01:00:00,120
Speaker 4: placed in her before the foundations of the year.

1184
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:03,040
Speaker 1: Will receive it.

1185
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 4: That strongholds would be broken, that women who have gone

1186
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,960
Speaker 4: through hard times and are really trying to figure out

1187
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 4: how to rise again, that they would find truth in

1188
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:21,919
Speaker 4: her mouth for the sake of them being free. Yes God, God,

1189
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 4: I pray against any hurt, harm, danger, trauma that was

1190
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 4: caused in her by way of the marriage and even

1191
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:34,920
Speaker 4: by way of myself. I pray that she would be

1192
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 4: healed and she would behold God. Yes, God, And I

1193
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 4: pray for her future husband, if you have ordained this

1194
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 4: for her life, that she would have the man that

1195
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 4: she that she that she wants and that she needs,

1196
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:58,120
Speaker 4: and that we've talked about so many times, one that

1197
01:00:58,360 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 4: serves her at the love that she needs to be served,

1198
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,840
Speaker 4: one that compliments her gift in the annoying and the

1199
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:06,480
Speaker 4: grace and the mantle that is on her life for

1200
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 4: women around the world, not just only women, but for

1201
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:11,880
Speaker 4: also men.

1202
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:12,439
Speaker 1: God.

1203
01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 4: I've seen the great exploits that you've done through her.

1204
01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 4: I've seen the people that have been delivered. I've seen

1205
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 4: the prophetic words that have come out of her mouth

1206
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 4: to individuals in a situation that needed.

1207
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:28,640
Speaker 1: To be free. And I pray that she would be that.

1208
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 1: And I pray for her relationship with.

1209
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:39,360
Speaker 4: Sammy, Yes, that he would even begin to heal things

1210
01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:42,240
Speaker 4: that she has asked to be healed God, as she

1211
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 4: parents him, and that she loves him and as he

1212
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 4: loves her. There's nothing like the relationship between a mother

1213
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:54,280
Speaker 4: and a son. And I just pray that we would

1214
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 4: come to see that one day God. Also, lastly, pray

1215
01:01:56,880 --> 01:02:00,400
Speaker 4: for a peaceful relationship between her and that.

1216
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:08,440
Speaker 1: What the divorce court said would be true, that in

1217
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 1: two to three years.

1218
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:13,000
Speaker 4: Things will be different, in four years things would be different,

1219
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,560
Speaker 4: in five years things would be different, and that we

1220
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 4: would be able to cope in an incredible way, have

1221
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 4: conversations like maybe we never thought we'd have again, and

1222
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:28,200
Speaker 4: even champion the call of God on both of our lives. Yeah,

1223
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 4: and I pray for litists that you would punish him

1224
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:34,080
Speaker 4: in just a little bit of a way for doing

1225
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 4: this to me in front of the world in Jesus name.

1226
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 3: Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen.

1227
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 2: I want to lift up other people that are going

1228
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 2: through divorces and people that are divorced. If you are

1229
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,360
Speaker 2: going through a divorce right now, if you have gone

1230
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:56,480
Speaker 2: through a divorce, I speak right now, that the Lord

1231
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 2: begins to heal what hasn't been healed yet.

1232
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:01,560
Speaker 3: If you've been.

1233
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 2: Carrying the mismanagement of your heart and you feel like

1234
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 2: God the Bible says, vengeance's mindset the Lord, and some

1235
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:13,400
Speaker 2: of you are sitting back saying God allowed this to

1236
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 2: happen to me, and He hasn't taken vengeance on said person,

1237
01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:21,240
Speaker 2: whether it's your ex wife or your ex husband, and

1238
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 2: you're looking at God to vindicate you. The first point

1239
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:29,800
Speaker 2: of vindication is when you free yourself from carrying the

1240
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 2: weight of betrayal.

1241
01:03:31,960 --> 01:03:35,280
Speaker 3: Let it go, release it in the name of Jesus.

1242
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:39,919
Speaker 2: Get free right now, no longer carry the burden of that.

1243
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:44,480
Speaker 2: It's a famous philosopher says that holding on to unforgiveness

1244
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:48,440
Speaker 2: is like drinking poison and inspecting the other person to die.

1245
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 2: Release that in the name of Jesus. There is greater later.

1246
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 2: God has a greater expectancy for you. You have to

1247
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,280
Speaker 2: believe it. You have to and lean out on your

1248
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 2: own understanding. But in all your ways, acknowledge Christ and

1249
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 2: allow him to direct your path. Even through this journey

1250
01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:12,720
Speaker 2: of healing. God will direct you. He'll give you a word,

1251
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 2: He'll give you a release. This episode is a release.

1252
01:04:16,080 --> 01:04:20,200
Speaker 2: It's a divine assignment to position you, to reposition you

1253
01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 2: to your purpose. So God, we thank you, we glorify you,

1254
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:29,320
Speaker 2: we honor you, because there's nobody but you that could

1255
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:33,280
Speaker 2: take a broken young man named Latis and create a

1256
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 2: platform to bring healing to millions.

1257
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:37,440
Speaker 3: And I thank you.

1258
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:42,959
Speaker 2: I always will submit and surrender this platform to you.

1259
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:45,320
Speaker 1: You know, I had no idea what I.

1260
01:04:45,320 --> 01:04:46,640
Speaker 3: Want to talk to Sam about.

1261
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 2: But because he has a surrendered heart, you allow this

1262
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 2: moment to take place, a moment that has never ever

1263
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:58,200
Speaker 2: taken place on the Dear Future WiFi podcast before, and

1264
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:02,400
Speaker 2: I can see it now. Testimonies break through deliverance. Men

1265
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,439
Speaker 2: are going to be calling their ex wives, and ex

1266
01:05:04,480 --> 01:05:06,720
Speaker 2: wives are going to be calling their ex husbands and

1267
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:09,640
Speaker 2: saying I'm sorry, giving them the I'm sorry that they've

1268
01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 2: been waiting for for five, ten, fifteen, twenty years. I

1269
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:16,160
Speaker 2: speak that right now in the name of Jesus, for

1270
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 2: a release that people get sorries forgive me. I apologize

1271
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 2: things that they have never heard, and they've been waiting

1272
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:26,560
Speaker 2: on it, and they've been waiting on it.

1273
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 1: Just to prove that you are God.

1274
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 2: They said, God, if you are God, if you can

1275
01:05:31,040 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 2: put if you can make Pharaoh release the Israelites, certainly

1276
01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:37,200
Speaker 2: you can make this man call me and say I'm sorry.

1277
01:05:37,200 --> 01:05:39,160
Speaker 2: Certain you can make this woman call me and say

1278
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 2: I apologize for I did you. Certainly you can, Jesus, Certainly,

1279
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:47,200
Speaker 2: because there's nothing too impossible for you God. So I

1280
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:49,440
Speaker 2: ask right now in the name of Jesus for a

1281
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 2: supernatural release, for people to begin to release and bring

1282
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:59,120
Speaker 2: healing to each other like never before. God, we thank

1283
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:01,800
Speaker 2: you in advance for the time desimonious and Jesus name,

1284
01:06:01,840 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 2: we pray amen.

1285
01:06:05,360 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Is it done? No? I ain't done. Who

1286
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:15,120
Speaker 1: I need a break? We ain't done. I need a break.

1287
01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:16,480
Speaker 1: Thank you Jesus.

1288
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 3: So, Sam, how do you feel about this?

1289
01:06:23,600 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 1: Who are terrorists? I am?

1290
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:28,640
Speaker 4: You know, I'm a I'll be more a little more honest.

1291
01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 4: It's I think, I said a few weeks ago, I said,

1292
01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 4: you know, I think I'm I think I've spoken about

1293
01:06:40,280 --> 01:06:42,760
Speaker 4: this enough. I don't know if I want to go

1294
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,960
Speaker 4: on anymore. And I and I actually debated. I was like, now,

1295
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 4: dear future wife, is huge. Are you sure we're done?

1296
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:55,960
Speaker 4: And the Lord of the Lord told me no, I'm

1297
01:06:56,160 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 4: I'm ordaining this. And he revealed to me that you

1298
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:04,240
Speaker 4: were going to carry me through this. He told me that,

1299
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 4: but he did not reveal that the Lord was that

1300
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:10,840
Speaker 4: he was going to use you in this way.

1301
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:18,520
Speaker 1: And that's without saying too much. I just I think

1302
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:21,800
Speaker 1: in the depths of my heart, I was searching for

1303
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 1: a way to do this and.

1304
01:07:25,880 --> 01:07:30,960
Speaker 4: Could not find it, and so I believe the Lord

1305
01:07:31,040 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 4: used you as a midwife and helping to birth this.

1306
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:37,240
Speaker 4: And I'm still angry.

1307
01:07:37,520 --> 01:07:40,160
Speaker 2: You should be, And let me tell you this. I'm grateful.

1308
01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 2: Let me tell you this. Let me tell you what

1309
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:45,200
Speaker 2: I'm grateful. I'll be transparent. I didn't want to interview you.

1310
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:49,600
Speaker 2: I didn't want to interview you because I said, when

1311
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:54,600
Speaker 2: I get a pastor who and people feel like they've

1312
01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:57,320
Speaker 2: done wrong in the marriage without even knowing all the details,

1313
01:07:57,480 --> 01:08:00,280
Speaker 2: I get a lot of backlash. And so I said,

1314
01:08:01,320 --> 01:08:03,240
Speaker 2: I mean, I get back last all day for that,

1315
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:04,960
Speaker 2: and I'd be like, why are y'all blaming me for

1316
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:07,680
Speaker 2: somebody else's decision? This is I got to create a

1317
01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:10,000
Speaker 2: safe space for folks. And so then I was like,

1318
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:13,520
Speaker 2: but listen, I gotta be submitted to what God called

1319
01:08:13,560 --> 01:08:14,120
Speaker 2: me to do.

1320
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,840
Speaker 3: I can't allow public.

1321
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:18,679
Speaker 2: Opinion to change the calling and the mantle over my podcast.

1322
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 1: But if I was honest with you, I was like, man,

1323
01:08:22,160 --> 01:08:22,639
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1324
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:25,160
Speaker 2: And then on top of that, you did you did

1325
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:27,839
Speaker 2: my one of my close friends, Willie Moore Junior podcast,

1326
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:30,040
Speaker 2: and I was like, man, he just did that, right,

1327
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:32,720
Speaker 2: come do it? I just I said, that's really a

1328
01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:35,640
Speaker 2: big out. He just did the other podcast. Yeah, you

1329
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:37,800
Speaker 2: know we're good or whatever. That's the reason why I

1330
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,640
Speaker 2: called you personally, and I said, I want to have

1331
01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:42,599
Speaker 2: a conversation with you to see what can be unique

1332
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:45,720
Speaker 2: in this yehold, and I still didn't have an understanding.

1333
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,720
Speaker 2: I'm saying, all right, we just gonna talk. You said

1334
01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:51,400
Speaker 2: we were just gonna talk. We talked. We said we're

1335
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,360
Speaker 2: going to talk about the things that you wish you

1336
01:08:53,479 --> 01:08:55,880
Speaker 2: known before you got married. We didn't talk about none

1337
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:57,519
Speaker 2: of that. And I was like, oh, that'd be a

1338
01:08:57,560 --> 01:08:58,800
Speaker 2: good thing. Yeah, we could talk about that.

1339
01:08:59,000 --> 01:08:59,880
Speaker 1: I'm not ready married.

1340
01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:02,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I said that'd be great. I just got married.

1341
01:09:02,360 --> 01:09:04,920
Speaker 2: I'm getting married in November. I need to know this.

1342
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:08,599
Speaker 2: I just did an episode with doctor Gary Chapman two

1343
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:11,200
Speaker 2: or three episodes ago that I released called the Things

1344
01:09:11,240 --> 01:09:13,000
Speaker 2: I wish I'd known before I got married. I said

1345
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:16,320
Speaker 2: that'd be perfect, and God said, no, y'all gonna talk

1346
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:17,439
Speaker 2: about what I want to talk about.

1347
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:19,600
Speaker 1: I had no idea how this is going to be.

1348
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:23,479
Speaker 2: And so the power in this level of surrender, because

1349
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:26,760
Speaker 2: we're both at a level of surrender, is that you

1350
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:29,000
Speaker 2: didn't want to have another conversation about it.

1351
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:31,160
Speaker 1: We both were looking for an hour, looking for an out.

1352
01:09:31,520 --> 01:09:32,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I don't want to do this, and

1353
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:38,439
Speaker 2: God said, why If I can't use you, then you

1354
01:09:38,520 --> 01:09:42,200
Speaker 2: serve no purpose. See, people don't understand that if God

1355
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:45,679
Speaker 2: gets his purpose manifested in the earth by using people.

1356
01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:49,960
Speaker 2: But if I am the gatekeeper to help you overcome

1357
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 2: what you said your horse's hour was, I want a

1358
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:54,640
Speaker 2: space to do X y Z. I'm just looking for

1359
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:57,680
Speaker 2: that space, and I go ain't gonna be here. Then

1360
01:09:57,720 --> 01:10:00,840
Speaker 2: God said, see, you didn't listen to me and then

1361
01:10:00,880 --> 01:10:02,880
Speaker 2: listen to them. You start listening to all these other people.

1362
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:05,479
Speaker 2: And I always want to be in the heart posture

1363
01:10:05,479 --> 01:10:08,120
Speaker 2: where I listen to him and not them. Jesus that

1364
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:11,800
Speaker 2: I listened to him and not them Jesus. And I'm

1365
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:16,040
Speaker 2: telling you, I'm telling you. I called my publicist, I said, Candice,

1366
01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:17,479
Speaker 2: I said, man, should I do this? I don't want

1367
01:10:17,479 --> 01:10:20,000
Speaker 2: to go back like, I ain't going to be talking

1368
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:21,680
Speaker 2: about no hell song I even talk about none of

1369
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:24,040
Speaker 2: That's what. I don't care about all that stuff. I

1370
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:25,800
Speaker 2: want to be happy. I'm about to get married. I

1371
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:28,600
Speaker 2: just want to talk about your elevation. Yes, I just

1372
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 2: want to be talking about love and all that stuff.

1373
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:33,320
Speaker 2: I don't want That guy said, don't forget the mission.

1374
01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:38,280
Speaker 2: Don't forget the mission. I've used this podcast to heal you,

1375
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:40,120
Speaker 2: to get you in the heart posture where you can

1376
01:10:40,160 --> 01:10:43,719
Speaker 2: actually say vows and mean it. Jesus, don't you ever

1377
01:10:44,040 --> 01:10:48,040
Speaker 2: put the public ahead of the promise. And the promise

1378
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:50,280
Speaker 2: I have for you is to continue creating this platform

1379
01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:53,400
Speaker 2: to bring healing to men and women across the globe.

1380
01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:57,200
Speaker 3: So that's where me. I'm keeping it one thousand with you, and.

1381
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:03,640
Speaker 1: It resonates with me on a lot of levels. I am.

1382
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:05,760
Speaker 4: You know, you go through things I went through on

1383
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:10,680
Speaker 4: a global stage, and the biggest thing you experienced is

1384
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:16,880
Speaker 4: every people leaving, absolutely leaders, people, supporters, platforms, steals and

1385
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:24,160
Speaker 4: so when a ar Bernard who is him, takes me on,

1386
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 4: covers me and backs me and gives me another shot.

1387
01:11:29,680 --> 01:11:32,559
Speaker 4: I had a profit say to me before that they

1388
01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:34,360
Speaker 4: didn't even know I was with him, and they said

1389
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:38,960
Speaker 4: to me, God sent somebody into your life to save

1390
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:43,880
Speaker 4: your ministry, to save your impact, to save your reputation.

1391
01:11:44,920 --> 01:11:47,600
Speaker 4: I was like, and they didn't even know. And I

1392
01:11:47,680 --> 01:11:49,720
Speaker 4: remember asking him he was. I had him on my

1393
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:52,479
Speaker 4: show and I said, I just got to be honest.

1394
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:55,800
Speaker 4: I want to know why you did this, because because

1395
01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:00,840
Speaker 4: you don't like you got everything to lou like it's

1396
01:12:00,960 --> 01:12:05,639
Speaker 4: your is. He's seventy two largest church in New York City,

1397
01:12:06,479 --> 01:12:10,479
Speaker 4: all this influence, like why would you people are running

1398
01:12:10,479 --> 01:12:13,599
Speaker 4: for me? Why would you run towards? And he said, Sam,

1399
01:12:13,640 --> 01:12:17,320
Speaker 4: you know I the Lord told me to do this.

1400
01:12:18,439 --> 01:12:18,839
Speaker 1: Period.

1401
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:21,439
Speaker 3: God said it that, he said I.

1402
01:12:21,439 --> 01:12:24,200
Speaker 4: So he said if you, if you or if anybody

1403
01:12:24,200 --> 01:12:26,720
Speaker 4: else hasn't it, take it up with him.

1404
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:27,120
Speaker 3: Yep.

1405
01:12:28,920 --> 01:12:33,080
Speaker 1: And that's what happened today. Yep. So the soul listen,

1406
01:12:33,120 --> 01:12:35,880
Speaker 1: you keep trying to fight me, take it up with him.

1407
01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:38,240
Speaker 1: Go fight.

1408
01:12:38,280 --> 01:12:40,479
Speaker 2: And the last time I checked, your arms are too

1409
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:42,759
Speaker 2: short the box with got who short?

1410
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:48,840
Speaker 1: So king? How can we support you? Got anything going on?

1411
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:54,320
Speaker 2: How can we support you? You have a podcast? Drop

1412
01:12:54,360 --> 01:12:56,000
Speaker 2: your podcast? What's the name of your podcast?

1413
01:12:56,040 --> 01:13:00,200
Speaker 4: Called The Narrative with Sam Collier on American Urban Radio Network.

1414
01:13:00,360 --> 01:13:02,439
Speaker 4: We got I don't know when you put yours out,

1415
01:13:02,439 --> 01:13:04,400
Speaker 4: but I'm gonna put mine out before yours coming out

1416
01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:08,320
Speaker 4: Wednesday next days Wednesday, I'm put yours out before then.

1417
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:11,479
Speaker 1: When you make this statement, I was on his people

1418
01:13:11,479 --> 01:13:14,719
Speaker 1: can know it's true we've been behind on that essence schedule,

1419
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:18,040
Speaker 1: but I'm definitely dropping it. I'm gonna drop it this week.

1420
01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:23,000
Speaker 4: So listen follow you'll see the terraces this week telling

1421
01:13:23,080 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 4: us he don't know when he get married, and then

1422
01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:29,480
Speaker 4: a week later he announced it.

1423
01:13:29,479 --> 01:13:31,360
Speaker 1: It was crazy.

1424
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:35,400
Speaker 4: So go and see that and just Sam Collier, you know,

1425
01:13:35,520 --> 01:13:39,120
Speaker 4: and come see us at Christian Culture Center Atlanta in

1426
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:39,599
Speaker 4: the city.

1427
01:13:39,720 --> 01:13:42,400
Speaker 2: So I love what a Arbernard said to you about

1428
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:45,479
Speaker 2: just God said it, and especially when you get to

1429
01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:47,040
Speaker 2: that age, you don'na be caring what people say. He

1430
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:49,280
Speaker 2: just you know, you talk to like older people, they

1431
01:13:49,360 --> 01:13:52,559
Speaker 2: be like, they be like, what were we talking about? Like,

1432
01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:56,040
Speaker 2: they don't be caring. God tell them something, they feel something,

1433
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:56,880
Speaker 2: they gonna go do it.

1434
01:13:56,920 --> 01:13:58,000
Speaker 1: And that is what it is.

1435
01:13:58,160 --> 01:14:00,559
Speaker 2: But let me ask you this before we wrap, But

1436
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:02,120
Speaker 2: what did that mean.

1437
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:07,920
Speaker 4: To you to get a second chance in ministry. I

1438
01:14:07,920 --> 01:14:14,160
Speaker 4: have a complicated answer to that because at the height

1439
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:17,320
Speaker 4: of it all, really at the end of it all,

1440
01:14:17,360 --> 01:14:21,640
Speaker 4: I wanted to leave. I said, I was angry with

1441
01:14:21,680 --> 01:14:25,160
Speaker 4: the church, not just my church, with the church. I

1442
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:30,519
Speaker 4: was angry about it. I felt like because you said

1443
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:32,160
Speaker 4: something early and I hope. I'm not being too long

1444
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:34,920
Speaker 4: with it on this, but you said something earlier that

1445
01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:38,240
Speaker 4: was powerful, and I skipped over because I knew we

1446
01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:39,360
Speaker 4: had a lot more to do. But I want to

1447
01:14:39,360 --> 01:14:40,640
Speaker 4: go back because I feel like the Lord wanted me

1448
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:47,439
Speaker 4: to say it. You got a divorce under Tony Evans,

1449
01:14:48,640 --> 01:14:52,960
Speaker 4: and everybody was like, why would you do that? But

1450
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:57,639
Speaker 4: you had enough strength to do it. And I think

1451
01:14:57,680 --> 01:15:00,320
Speaker 4: that's a problem. And let me tell you why. This

1452
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:02,960
Speaker 4: is when we talk about the next you know, when

1453
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:07,080
Speaker 4: there were conversations about divorce throughout my marriage, it's no

1454
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:09,840
Speaker 4: and I'm not talking about just with my ex. I'm

1455
01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:12,560
Speaker 4: talking about with mentors and leaders and people that understood

1456
01:15:12,560 --> 01:15:14,800
Speaker 4: what was happening before it got worse and before it

1457
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:17,800
Speaker 4: did this. But the number one thing I kept hearing,

1458
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:20,240
Speaker 4: and this is one of the things I want to

1459
01:15:20,560 --> 01:15:24,800
Speaker 4: dedicate some of my life to going forward, was well,

1460
01:15:24,840 --> 01:15:28,920
Speaker 4: can you just make it work if y'all could? And

1461
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:32,240
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay. And what it said to me was

1462
01:15:32,280 --> 01:15:35,960
Speaker 4: you cared more about the image of me, that's it,

1463
01:15:36,320 --> 01:15:39,639
Speaker 4: and my ex then you did us.

1464
01:15:39,960 --> 01:15:40,599
Speaker 3: That's facts.

1465
01:15:41,560 --> 01:15:44,840
Speaker 1: And so for me, I was very upset at this.

1466
01:15:44,920 --> 01:15:48,320
Speaker 4: I had arrived at a conclusion that the system of

1467
01:15:48,400 --> 01:15:53,519
Speaker 4: Christianity not the church. The system of the church, the

1468
01:15:53,920 --> 01:15:56,280
Speaker 4: structure of the church not the church. The church is

1469
01:15:56,320 --> 01:16:00,240
Speaker 4: the body of believers. The structure around it is man made.

1470
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:03,840
Speaker 4: God's Church is perfect the way he designed it.

1471
01:16:03,840 --> 01:16:04,400
Speaker 1: It's amazing.

1472
01:16:04,800 --> 01:16:08,120
Speaker 4: But the man made structure is the structure that produces.

1473
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:11,080
Speaker 4: I mean, I know y'all ain't really, but can y'all

1474
01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:14,000
Speaker 4: just figure this out because of what we need it

1475
01:16:14,040 --> 01:16:17,360
Speaker 4: to be. Absolutely we don't want messing it. And we

1476
01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:21,880
Speaker 4: create our own monsters, then we destroy them when they explode.

1477
01:16:22,840 --> 01:16:24,800
Speaker 4: And so for me, I was done with the church.

1478
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:26,439
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't why would I be a part

1479
01:16:26,479 --> 01:16:28,800
Speaker 4: of that. I'm at a point, you know, when your

1480
01:16:28,880 --> 01:16:32,880
Speaker 4: livelihood is connected to your morality, when your livelihood is

1481
01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:37,680
Speaker 4: connected to your profession, or I'm sorry, you'll perceive whatever.

1482
01:16:39,240 --> 01:16:40,880
Speaker 4: I'm at a point when I'm at the dollar menu

1483
01:16:40,920 --> 01:16:43,160
Speaker 4: at Wendy's try to figure out how much pay for

1484
01:16:43,200 --> 01:16:43,559
Speaker 4: my son.

1485
01:16:44,080 --> 01:16:45,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, why would I?

1486
01:16:45,080 --> 01:16:49,719
Speaker 4: This is crazy, Like this has implications that are beyond

1487
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,120
Speaker 4: the reputation, and this is I got a son to

1488
01:16:52,160 --> 01:16:54,439
Speaker 4: take care of and how I pay for him is

1489
01:16:54,479 --> 01:16:58,040
Speaker 4: with the ministry. But now the ministry has produced this

1490
01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:00,280
Speaker 4: and all of it, and and your crush and people

1491
01:17:00,320 --> 01:17:00,719
Speaker 4: are leaving.

1492
01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:02,240
Speaker 1: How am I going to take care of him? And

1493
01:17:02,280 --> 01:17:03,360
Speaker 1: so I never wanted to do that.

1494
01:17:03,400 --> 01:17:05,639
Speaker 4: I was like, never, it's not even about me, even

1495
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:07,960
Speaker 4: though I don't agree with that, but I'll never put

1496
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:09,320
Speaker 4: him in that situation again.

1497
01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:13,439
Speaker 1: So I was out and then the Lord didn't let

1498
01:17:13,479 --> 01:17:15,640
Speaker 1: me leave. It was just so many I heard the

1499
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:16,719
Speaker 1: audible voice of God.

1500
01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:18,880
Speaker 4: This is for the people that say, you get a divorce,

1501
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,080
Speaker 4: you shouldn't be pastoring no more.

1502
01:17:20,680 --> 01:17:23,400
Speaker 1: Well take it up with him, because I told him no.

1503
01:17:24,280 --> 01:17:26,439
Speaker 4: I had people on my right side, a lot of

1504
01:17:26,520 --> 01:17:28,320
Speaker 4: them were white, saying you need to get out of

1505
01:17:28,360 --> 01:17:31,800
Speaker 4: ministry that forever you're disqualified. I got people on my

1506
01:17:31,880 --> 01:17:34,439
Speaker 4: left side, a lot of them were black, saying, don't

1507
01:17:34,439 --> 01:17:37,360
Speaker 4: you ever what are you doing? Get back in the

1508
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:39,799
Speaker 4: pool that God has not done with your life and

1509
01:17:39,880 --> 01:17:41,519
Speaker 4: you have so much. And so I said, well, if

1510
01:17:41,560 --> 01:17:43,639
Speaker 4: they don't want me, I'm out because I don't.

1511
01:17:43,520 --> 01:17:43,960
Speaker 1: Need to do this.

1512
01:17:44,520 --> 01:17:47,200
Speaker 4: I can go do something else and subject myself to

1513
01:17:47,280 --> 01:17:48,719
Speaker 4: a system that is healthy.

1514
01:17:48,880 --> 01:17:49,160
Speaker 3: Yep.

1515
01:17:50,479 --> 01:17:53,800
Speaker 4: I surrendered to the Lord, and he gave me a

1516
01:17:53,840 --> 01:17:57,200
Speaker 4: second chance at it, and for me what it said

1517
01:17:57,240 --> 01:18:02,200
Speaker 4: to me was a few things David said. I was

1518
01:18:02,240 --> 01:18:04,880
Speaker 4: young and now I'm old, and I've never seen a righteous,

1519
01:18:04,880 --> 01:18:08,160
Speaker 4: forsaken noise see baking bread.

1520
01:18:08,400 --> 01:18:09,640
Speaker 1: I did.

1521
01:18:10,760 --> 01:18:13,759
Speaker 4: A deep study this morning and last night on redemption.

1522
01:18:14,080 --> 01:18:17,960
Speaker 4: That's what doctor Bernard and myself and my team, it's like,

1523
01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:21,400
Speaker 4: this is what that has to be the message going forward,

1524
01:18:21,840 --> 01:18:26,439
Speaker 4: and not just not a cliche redemption because you went

1525
01:18:26,479 --> 01:18:28,040
Speaker 4: through this and we're trying to clean your image up,

1526
01:18:29,080 --> 01:18:33,960
Speaker 4: not that a Christian principle that we have to get

1527
01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:38,640
Speaker 4: redemption back in the culture. The world is more redemptive

1528
01:18:38,680 --> 01:18:42,960
Speaker 4: than the church, and and that's a problem. And so

1529
01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:46,760
Speaker 4: for me, I just it made me love God more,

1530
01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:51,479
Speaker 4: trusting more, even in my pain and in my not

1531
01:18:51,520 --> 01:18:54,759
Speaker 4: wanting to do to rock with the institution of church.

1532
01:18:54,840 --> 01:18:57,680
Speaker 4: I love my members, I love being a part of

1533
01:18:57,720 --> 01:18:58,679
Speaker 4: Christian Cultural Center.

1534
01:18:58,720 --> 01:19:01,200
Speaker 1: I love preaching. I love church. I love doing church.

1535
01:19:01,600 --> 01:19:04,080
Speaker 4: But the system I don't care for because I think

1536
01:19:04,080 --> 01:19:07,280
Speaker 4: it's broken and I think we keep seeing leaders fall

1537
01:19:07,720 --> 01:19:08,439
Speaker 4: because of it.

1538
01:19:09,720 --> 01:19:12,080
Speaker 1: Because we're going to be in every Humans are imperfect.

1539
01:19:12,120 --> 01:19:14,720
Speaker 4: You when you get ordained as a leader or a

1540
01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:16,920
Speaker 4: pastor or an elder or whatever, you ain't you don't

1541
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:20,920
Speaker 4: become Jesus at all, and can we get us go?

1542
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:25,280
Speaker 4: And if you black, you coming in with trauma, you

1543
01:19:25,320 --> 01:19:27,120
Speaker 4: can't introduce.

1544
01:19:26,800 --> 01:19:29,920
Speaker 1: Me to a maybe find a handful of black peop

1545
01:19:29,920 --> 01:19:30,320
Speaker 1: They don't.

1546
01:19:30,160 --> 01:19:34,240
Speaker 4: Get no trauma. It's America, it's racism. We come in

1547
01:19:34,360 --> 01:19:36,920
Speaker 4: with trauma. So that trauma is going to show up

1548
01:19:36,960 --> 01:19:39,519
Speaker 4: at some point, and it's going and it's usually gonna

1549
01:19:39,520 --> 01:19:40,559
Speaker 4: be when you at least expect it.

1550
01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:41,759
Speaker 1: You're gonna be on top of the world.

1551
01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:46,040
Speaker 4: So what happens then when the trauma catches up that

1552
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:49,240
Speaker 4: may have been self induced, but it may have been

1553
01:19:49,320 --> 01:19:50,960
Speaker 4: you were born into it. You came from this and

1554
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,680
Speaker 4: you do it, and now it catches up to you

1555
01:19:52,680 --> 01:19:54,280
Speaker 4: when you're on the platform, when you married and you

1556
01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:57,040
Speaker 4: got this and you're leading these people and God elevated

1557
01:19:57,080 --> 01:19:58,120
Speaker 4: you and the people trusted you.

1558
01:19:58,120 --> 01:20:00,320
Speaker 1: Am I supposed to do? Now? Is it done?

1559
01:20:00,680 --> 01:20:03,519
Speaker 4: Do we malfunction in real time and then it's over?

1560
01:20:04,400 --> 01:20:09,400
Speaker 4: Or is there a system that can be created like

1561
01:20:09,439 --> 01:20:12,599
Speaker 4: we see in the Nation of Islam. I'm a Christian,

1562
01:20:13,320 --> 01:20:15,759
Speaker 4: I have a theological I don't agree with Islam.

1563
01:20:16,240 --> 01:20:18,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know you're Tommy talk about the structure.

1564
01:20:18,280 --> 01:20:21,240
Speaker 1: Is there something that can be created that allows.

1565
01:20:21,080 --> 01:20:24,200
Speaker 2: Men to get healed. And that's the thing about it.

1566
01:20:25,200 --> 01:20:28,120
Speaker 2: And so yeah, that's what I respect. And shoot, we

1567
01:20:28,160 --> 01:20:32,160
Speaker 2: all got trauma, no matter what our races, are, ethnicities,

1568
01:20:32,160 --> 01:20:34,720
Speaker 2: our background, nationalities, we all have trauma. But I know

1569
01:20:34,800 --> 01:20:38,200
Speaker 2: what the specific type of trauma you're talking about that's

1570
01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:42,320
Speaker 2: indicative to how we came into the United States and

1571
01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:46,400
Speaker 2: how we have to unpack that. But listen, man, this

1572
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:50,120
Speaker 2: was great. I believe we made the Lord proud. This

1573
01:20:50,200 --> 01:20:53,439
Speaker 2: was an amazing, amazing episode. And again, thank you, thank

1574
01:20:53,479 --> 01:20:58,320
Speaker 2: you for your surrender. And that's the reason why A. R.

1575
01:20:58,400 --> 01:21:04,000
Speaker 2: Bernard said, God said it, and because he knew that

1576
01:21:04,080 --> 01:21:06,760
Speaker 2: this moment would take place. And if you were no

1577
01:21:06,800 --> 01:21:08,800
Speaker 2: longer in ministry, you wouldn't have a need to sit

1578
01:21:08,840 --> 01:21:10,760
Speaker 2: here talk do nothing. You like, I ain't gonna be

1579
01:21:10,760 --> 01:21:12,759
Speaker 2: in no type of faith based audience.

1580
01:21:12,840 --> 01:21:15,120
Speaker 1: I'm gone. And then the number one Sin's the thing.

1581
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:18,120
Speaker 2: We got to look at it like this, either God

1582
01:21:18,160 --> 01:21:21,559
Speaker 2: wins by you continue to carry out the good news,

1583
01:21:21,960 --> 01:21:23,880
Speaker 2: or the devil winds by making you quit.

1584
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:28,160
Speaker 3: It's that simple. It's that simple.

1585
01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:31,719
Speaker 2: Because who God calls he qualifies, and he don't say

1586
01:21:31,920 --> 01:21:34,559
Speaker 2: I called you, but you messed up too much. I

1587
01:21:34,680 --> 01:21:36,439
Speaker 2: changed my mind. I don't know what I thought when

1588
01:21:36,439 --> 01:21:38,640
Speaker 2: I called you. He never looks at us like that

1589
01:21:38,680 --> 01:21:41,240
Speaker 2: and be like I called you this, I changed my

1590
01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:43,439
Speaker 2: I didn't see that. I didn't see that an equation.

1591
01:21:43,479 --> 01:21:46,880
Speaker 2: I didn't see you doing that. I'm done with you, Sam,

1592
01:21:47,120 --> 01:21:49,880
Speaker 2: You're done too much. There's no place in the Bible

1593
01:21:49,920 --> 01:21:51,880
Speaker 2: where somebody did too much and God gave up to

1594
01:21:51,960 --> 01:21:53,960
Speaker 2: him and they were doing some crazy stuff. And I

1595
01:21:54,360 --> 01:21:56,880
Speaker 2: talk about that about the Pause and stuff that were,

1596
01:21:57,040 --> 01:22:03,240
Speaker 2: you know, killing Christians, killing Christians, physically taking your life,

1597
01:22:03,439 --> 01:22:06,000
Speaker 2: and then God uses him and changes his name from

1598
01:22:06,000 --> 01:22:08,600
Speaker 2: Saul to Paul and use him to do great exploits.

1599
01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:11,080
Speaker 2: You would think that somebody that was killing let me

1600
01:22:11,080 --> 01:22:14,559
Speaker 2: tell you something. We're talking about, Grace. If somebody was

1601
01:22:14,880 --> 01:22:17,320
Speaker 2: just started killing my kids, I'm not gonna say, oh, well,

1602
01:22:17,320 --> 01:22:18,840
Speaker 2: come on over here. I'm gonna go ahead and use

1603
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:21,280
Speaker 2: you for I'm gonna hire you from a company like it.

1604
01:22:21,840 --> 01:22:22,200
Speaker 1: Just don't.

1605
01:22:22,479 --> 01:22:23,600
Speaker 3: My brain don't work like that.

1606
01:22:23,920 --> 01:22:27,480
Speaker 2: But that's the reason why I said, as believers, as humans,

1607
01:22:27,960 --> 01:22:32,559
Speaker 2: our thought processes over people is already flawed because the

1608
01:22:32,600 --> 01:22:35,679
Speaker 2: reality is, the more you get removed from the offense

1609
01:22:35,760 --> 01:22:38,479
Speaker 2: that you cause, the more people no longer see you

1610
01:22:38,640 --> 01:22:42,200
Speaker 2: as the offense that you did. But that's what grace

1611
01:22:42,240 --> 01:22:44,759
Speaker 2: looks like. And God allows this level of grace.

1612
01:22:44,960 --> 01:22:45,200
Speaker 1: See.

1613
01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:47,439
Speaker 2: The only reason why people even know that I cheated

1614
01:22:47,439 --> 01:22:49,400
Speaker 2: on my ex wife because I keep bringing it up.

1615
01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:54,440
Speaker 3: I keep bringing up my ex wife never said anything.

1616
01:22:54,080 --> 01:22:57,599
Speaker 2: Publicly, keep saying I keep saying that, don't nobody else's

1617
01:22:57,840 --> 01:23:00,519
Speaker 2: ex wife saying that she ain't never made a Facebook

1618
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:03,519
Speaker 2: post about it, she ain't never said nothing. I'm the

1619
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:05,519
Speaker 2: one running around saying this. And when God told me

1620
01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:07,400
Speaker 2: to say it for the first time, I said, now,

1621
01:23:07,439 --> 01:23:10,680
Speaker 2: why would I do that? Because God knew it was

1622
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:13,519
Speaker 2: other people that I wanted people to be able to

1623
01:23:13,600 --> 01:23:17,080
Speaker 2: look at this flawed human Because I grew up in

1624
01:23:17,120 --> 01:23:19,519
Speaker 2: the church, my whole life got filled with the evidence

1625
01:23:19,560 --> 01:23:21,760
Speaker 2: of speaking in tongues at twelve years old. So I

1626
01:23:21,800 --> 01:23:23,920
Speaker 2: grew up in church my whole life, but I never

1627
01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:27,800
Speaker 2: ever ever heard people talk about their faults. So I

1628
01:23:27,840 --> 01:23:29,200
Speaker 2: was sitting there like, gosh, I am I only one

1629
01:23:29,280 --> 01:23:31,800
Speaker 2: struggling with this and I only want this, And God said,

1630
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:34,599
Speaker 2: whyon't you be what you wanted to see? Be what

1631
01:23:34,640 --> 01:23:37,040
Speaker 2: you want to see? I gave you this platform, stewarted,

1632
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:39,320
Speaker 2: well share about that. And I said, now, why would

1633
01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:40,880
Speaker 2: I do that? That was five years old. I've been

1634
01:23:40,880 --> 01:23:43,080
Speaker 2: divorceding five years at that time. Why would I want

1635
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,320
Speaker 2: to bring this up? God says, because it's other people

1636
01:23:45,320 --> 01:23:47,240
Speaker 2: that need to be set free. And I said, they

1637
01:23:47,240 --> 01:23:48,640
Speaker 2: don't need to be set free on my account. And

1638
01:23:48,640 --> 01:23:50,479
Speaker 2: I to be throwing myself on the back. I'm telling you.

1639
01:23:50,520 --> 01:23:52,120
Speaker 2: ILL said, well, why would I out the sid I'm

1640
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:55,120
Speaker 2: getting Listen. I only had five hundred subscribers at the time.

1641
01:23:55,720 --> 01:23:58,000
Speaker 2: I said, these women are going to be so triggered,

1642
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:01,320
Speaker 2: they're gonna say another cheater, I hate him, and they're

1643
01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:03,800
Speaker 2: gonna unsuscribe. Only had five hundred people. Now I got

1644
01:24:03,840 --> 01:24:06,840
Speaker 2: six hundred and thirty thousand subscribers because I was operating

1645
01:24:06,920 --> 01:24:11,800
Speaker 2: in truth, transparency, vulnerability, and deliverance Jesus. And then God said,

1646
01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:13,240
Speaker 2: I can reward that.

1647
01:24:13,439 --> 01:24:13,679
Speaker 1: Jesus.

1648
01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:16,400
Speaker 2: I can't reward. God can't heal what you won't reveal.

1649
01:24:16,600 --> 01:24:18,760
Speaker 2: I can't do nothing with that. But the men you

1650
01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:21,200
Speaker 2: expose yourself is the first thing that Jesus Christ did

1651
01:24:21,240 --> 01:24:23,080
Speaker 2: when he came from the grave. He revealed his scars.

1652
01:24:23,880 --> 01:24:26,920
Speaker 2: Because the scars showed where you came from. When we

1653
01:24:26,960 --> 01:24:29,280
Speaker 2: walk around and act like we're all in our glorified body,

1654
01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:30,960
Speaker 2: then people be like, well, I can't I can't.

1655
01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:31,400
Speaker 3: Relate to that.

1656
01:24:31,479 --> 01:24:36,439
Speaker 2: He's too glorified, he's too perfect. Our glorified bodies only

1657
01:24:36,439 --> 01:24:38,519
Speaker 2: come when we come, when we go to heaven. So

1658
01:24:38,560 --> 01:24:40,400
Speaker 2: now I got to walk around with my flawed self

1659
01:24:40,400 --> 01:24:42,160
Speaker 2: and say, here's my scars. This is where I was bleeding,

1660
01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:43,640
Speaker 2: this is where I made mistakes, this is where I

1661
01:24:43,680 --> 01:24:44,400
Speaker 2: had to overcome.

1662
01:24:44,560 --> 01:24:45,479
Speaker 3: These are my scars.

1663
01:24:45,560 --> 01:24:48,479
Speaker 2: So then people go, all right, teach me this Jesus

1664
01:24:48,520 --> 01:24:52,040
Speaker 2: that allows you to be transparent. Willie Moore Junr said this,

1665
01:24:52,040 --> 01:24:54,080
Speaker 2: this is so beautiful. Willy Moore Junr came and did

1666
01:24:54,080 --> 01:24:56,640
Speaker 2: my podcast. We're gonna wrap up, but Willimore Junr did

1667
01:24:56,680 --> 01:24:58,840
Speaker 2: the podcast. When I did, I was at New Bird Church.

1668
01:24:58,920 --> 01:25:01,920
Speaker 2: I did the podcast live, and I didn't know much

1669
01:25:01,960 --> 01:25:04,240
Speaker 2: about him on a personal level, but I just loved

1670
01:25:04,280 --> 01:25:06,800
Speaker 2: how he would articulate itself in his Falseter care story

1671
01:25:06,800 --> 01:25:09,280
Speaker 2: and all that coming out of being adopted and stuff,

1672
01:25:09,640 --> 01:25:11,760
Speaker 2: and I said, I want him on the podcast. So

1673
01:25:11,760 --> 01:25:14,960
Speaker 2: he was on the podcast. After the podcast, he said,

1674
01:25:15,040 --> 01:25:17,599
Speaker 2: he called me. He said I was wondering what manner

1675
01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:19,840
Speaker 2: of man is this that could sit up here and

1676
01:25:19,880 --> 01:25:22,759
Speaker 2: share his mistakes and false He was going through his divorce.

1677
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:26,120
Speaker 2: So I didn't realize that somebody that I admired so

1678
01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:29,880
Speaker 2: much on social media now was admiring the level of

1679
01:25:29,880 --> 01:25:33,520
Speaker 2: transparency that I had. And I went through Celebrate Recovery

1680
01:25:33,640 --> 01:25:35,720
Speaker 2: and it made and he was like, how do you

1681
01:25:35,800 --> 01:25:37,720
Speaker 2: operate like this? I said, I went this program called

1682
01:25:37,760 --> 01:25:42,240
Speaker 2: Celebrate Recovery. He went and enrolled and Celebrate Recovery like

1683
01:25:42,320 --> 01:25:46,280
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks later changed his entire life. But

1684
01:25:46,360 --> 01:25:49,280
Speaker 2: it came from me being open and vulnerable and honest

1685
01:25:49,320 --> 01:25:53,000
Speaker 2: to say, I'm not perfect, and I'm trying to be better.

1686
01:25:53,120 --> 01:25:56,360
Speaker 2: I'm trying. I'm trying my best to honor God. I'm

1687
01:25:56,400 --> 01:25:59,360
Speaker 2: trying to honor vows that I take. I'm trying my

1688
01:25:59,439 --> 01:26:02,800
Speaker 2: best to get healed from certain things. And so that's

1689
01:26:02,840 --> 01:26:05,559
Speaker 2: what the process has been on the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

1690
01:26:05,800 --> 01:26:08,479
Speaker 2: And so now I'm a delivered man. I'm a redeemed man.

1691
01:26:08,560 --> 01:26:10,599
Speaker 2: I'm a man that's gonna walk in honor. I'm a

1692
01:26:10,600 --> 01:26:13,479
Speaker 2: man that teaches my kids how to watch and walk

1693
01:26:13,479 --> 01:26:16,200
Speaker 2: and honor, how to be disciplined, how to honor their

1694
01:26:16,880 --> 01:26:20,839
Speaker 2: honor God with their bodies, practicing abstinence and ben virgins

1695
01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:22,640
Speaker 2: until they get married. That's the type of stuff that

1696
01:26:22,800 --> 01:26:23,559
Speaker 2: was never taught to me.

1697
01:26:23,920 --> 01:26:24,479
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

1698
01:26:24,479 --> 01:26:26,479
Speaker 2: My daddy never told me, hey, listen, you might want

1699
01:26:26,520 --> 01:26:28,559
Speaker 2: to wait till you get married to have sex.

1700
01:26:28,720 --> 01:26:28,920
Speaker 1: Never.

1701
01:26:28,960 --> 01:26:30,479
Speaker 2: I had a child when I was eighteen years old,

1702
01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:32,080
Speaker 2: before I graduated high school.

1703
01:26:32,200 --> 01:26:34,719
Speaker 3: So it's like my senior year in high school.

1704
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:37,400
Speaker 2: Two weeks before I walked across the stage, I was

1705
01:26:37,439 --> 01:26:40,840
Speaker 2: sitting up here having a two week old baby, you

1706
01:26:40,840 --> 01:26:44,160
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. And now just became a grandfather

1707
01:26:44,320 --> 01:26:48,640
Speaker 2: two weeks ago with my daughter. She's married and I

1708
01:26:48,640 --> 01:26:53,240
Speaker 2: have a beautiful granddaughter named Claire Elizabeth Cosmey and so,

1709
01:26:53,520 --> 01:26:56,680
Speaker 2: but that came from that broken boy that said I

1710
01:26:56,760 --> 01:26:59,400
Speaker 2: made these mistakes. Let me teach my daughter the right way.

1711
01:27:00,160 --> 01:27:04,000
Speaker 2: Let me stewart my daughter's heart well. And so, like

1712
01:27:04,040 --> 01:27:05,840
Speaker 2: I said, I can talk to you all day that

1713
01:27:05,960 --> 01:27:07,799
Speaker 2: I love chopping it up with other brethren.

1714
01:27:08,120 --> 01:27:11,400
Speaker 1: I'll say this again, thank you for your surrender.

1715
01:27:11,760 --> 01:27:14,719
Speaker 2: Thank you for not giving up on your calling because

1716
01:27:14,800 --> 01:27:18,920
Speaker 2: God needed you. Because there are souls linked to your yes.

1717
01:27:19,800 --> 01:27:22,519
Speaker 2: There are souls linked to your yes. And I'm gonna

1718
01:27:22,520 --> 01:27:26,880
Speaker 2: tell you this right now. Prophetically, you haven't seen nothing yet.

1719
01:27:28,200 --> 01:27:30,880
Speaker 2: You've done some things in the past that was cute.

1720
01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:33,519
Speaker 2: That's what God is saying. That was cute. It pales

1721
01:27:33,560 --> 01:27:36,280
Speaker 2: in comparison to what God is going to do. Your

1722
01:27:36,479 --> 01:27:39,559
Speaker 2: latelier ladder will be greater than your former And I'm

1723
01:27:39,600 --> 01:27:42,240
Speaker 2: telling you that right now in the name of Jesus.

1724
01:27:42,320 --> 01:27:43,960
Speaker 2: I want you to receive that from the crown of

1725
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:46,320
Speaker 2: your head to the souls of your feet, that God

1726
01:27:46,400 --> 01:27:50,120
Speaker 2: is about to release a whole nother level of anointing

1727
01:27:50,560 --> 01:27:53,840
Speaker 2: in your life that you have yet to experience. Because

1728
01:27:53,840 --> 01:27:56,800
Speaker 2: what happened right now and what happened this episode, there

1729
01:27:56,840 --> 01:27:59,439
Speaker 2: was a release that happened. Even in the pain of

1730
01:27:59,479 --> 01:28:02,200
Speaker 2: your past marriage, there's a freedom. There's an elevation that

1731
01:28:02,240 --> 01:28:04,800
Speaker 2: you spoke into her life, and God is going to

1732
01:28:04,880 --> 01:28:05,800
Speaker 2: do the same thing for you.

1733
01:28:05,880 --> 01:28:08,120
Speaker 1: He's going to elevate you on another level.

1734
01:28:08,160 --> 01:28:10,800
Speaker 2: You're gonna look back on this episode and say, God,

1735
01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:13,800
Speaker 2: I thank you. I thank you for not giving up

1736
01:28:13,840 --> 01:28:16,439
Speaker 2: on me. And the other thing is I thank you

1737
01:28:16,479 --> 01:28:18,800
Speaker 2: for not giving up on yourself. So I thank you,

1738
01:28:18,840 --> 01:28:21,599
Speaker 2: Man of God. I thank you, Man of God, walking

1739
01:28:21,640 --> 01:28:25,040
Speaker 2: everything that God called you to walk in in Jesus name. Hey,

1740
01:28:25,240 --> 01:28:27,040
Speaker 2: thank y'all so much for tuning in to the Dear

1741
01:28:27,080 --> 01:28:29,439
Speaker 2: Future WIFEI podcast. Listen, there's going to be a link

1742
01:28:29,640 --> 01:28:31,479
Speaker 2: to the book Student of Love. I'm gonna go ahead

1743
01:28:31,479 --> 01:28:33,240
Speaker 2: and drop that now. Think I'm sposted to wait till

1744
01:28:33,240 --> 01:28:35,479
Speaker 2: the end of September, but we're gonna put the I'm

1745
01:28:35,479 --> 01:28:37,360
Speaker 2: gonna tell my pups and company, we just need to get.

1746
01:28:37,280 --> 01:28:38,160
Speaker 3: All that together now.

1747
01:28:38,400 --> 01:28:40,800
Speaker 2: But it's gonna be a link in the description for

1748
01:28:40,920 --> 01:28:43,919
Speaker 2: Student of Love because there's some principles that I learned

1749
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:46,920
Speaker 2: in this journey I bled in this book, and there

1750
01:28:46,960 --> 01:28:50,160
Speaker 2: are principles and journeys that are going to set you

1751
01:28:50,400 --> 01:28:53,719
Speaker 2: free and position your heart to be a greater lover

1752
01:28:53,840 --> 01:28:56,800
Speaker 2: for the people that God allows you to love. I'm

1753
01:28:56,840 --> 01:29:01,920
Speaker 2: telling you from a romantic standpoint, from familiar standpoints with

1754
01:29:02,000 --> 01:29:06,240
Speaker 2: your family with just mankind. Student of Love is an amazing,

1755
01:29:06,400 --> 01:29:08,519
Speaker 2: powerful book that's going to teach you how to have

1756
01:29:08,560 --> 01:29:11,559
Speaker 2: a heart posture of a student and learn love daily.

1757
01:29:11,920 --> 01:29:14,679
Speaker 2: Y'all give that to give it up for my homie Sam.

1758
01:29:14,760 --> 01:29:16,840
Speaker 2: Call you y'all, Love you a man, Love you King,

1759
01:29:17,040 --> 01:29:19,519
Speaker 2: Thank you. Stay tuned to the end for a letter

1760
01:29:19,560 --> 01:29:20,320
Speaker 2: to my future wife.

1761
01:29:20,960 --> 01:29:23,639
Speaker 1: Writing these love letters.

1762
01:29:23,600 --> 01:29:32,280
Speaker 2: You, Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective services.

1763
01:29:32,280 --> 01:29:36,080
Speaker 1: In twenty fifteen, my nephew black a.

1764
01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:40,439
Speaker 2: Boy, the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim

1765
01:29:40,479 --> 01:29:45,880
Speaker 2: to none? Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy with

1766
01:29:46,040 --> 01:29:48,599
Speaker 2: five years in the foster care system before I even

1767
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:52,080
Speaker 2: knew his name. The likelihood have ever been adopted?

1768
01:29:53,000 --> 01:29:55,400
Speaker 1: Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.

1769
01:29:56,920 --> 01:29:59,800
Speaker 2: While Ladarian and Ourmione were trying to survive and barely

1770
01:30:00,439 --> 01:30:04,120
Speaker 2: an overpopulated and underfunded Falseter care system, I was living

1771
01:30:04,160 --> 01:30:07,320
Speaker 2: my own life, doing well professionally, having been a single

1772
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:09,439
Speaker 2: father with a daughter who at that point was doing

1773
01:30:09,479 --> 01:30:11,880
Speaker 2: well in college. It was my time to live my

1774
01:30:11,920 --> 01:30:19,400
Speaker 2: life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are

1775
01:30:19,439 --> 01:30:23,720
Speaker 2: just too many of our black children stuck in ambiguity

1776
01:30:23,960 --> 01:30:26,800
Speaker 2: and in the limbo of the Falter care system. In

1777
01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:31,000
Speaker 2: twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward

1778
01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:33,360
Speaker 2: to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this other

1779
01:30:33,439 --> 01:30:36,200
Speaker 2: young king, but I felt God instructed me to adopt them.

1780
01:30:36,200 --> 01:30:39,680
Speaker 2: Also in an Babe starting over with parenting should have

1781
01:30:40,040 --> 01:30:42,639
Speaker 2: been enough. Right, Working with various foster care and adoption

1782
01:30:42,760 --> 01:30:46,120
Speaker 2: agencies to help bring awareness to the countless young Black

1783
01:30:46,200 --> 01:30:49,800
Speaker 2: Kings and the Falster care system should have decreased my agitation.

1784
01:30:49,960 --> 01:30:50,200
Speaker 1: Right.

1785
01:30:50,880 --> 01:30:53,479
Speaker 2: Joining the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and

1786
01:30:53,640 --> 01:30:57,160
Speaker 2: organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in

1787
01:30:57,200 --> 01:30:59,719
Speaker 2: false care should have led to some type of resolve.

1788
01:30:59,800 --> 01:31:00,000
Speaker 3: Right.

1789
01:31:00,439 --> 01:31:04,519
Speaker 2: No, not at all. None of it felt like I

1790
01:31:04,600 --> 01:31:09,160
Speaker 2: had done enough. I now realized that every one of

1791
01:31:09,160 --> 01:31:13,360
Speaker 2: those experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1792
01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:18,320
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of

1793
01:31:18,360 --> 01:31:21,760
Speaker 2: the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

1794
01:31:21,760 --> 01:31:24,600
Speaker 2: be in the Dallas Fortwork Metroplex. We will utilize the

1795
01:31:24,680 --> 01:31:28,960
Speaker 2: whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate

1796
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:33,280
Speaker 2: for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless

1797
01:31:33,280 --> 01:31:36,280
Speaker 2: options that they thought were impossible.

1798
01:31:37,439 --> 01:31:37,599
Speaker 1: Though.

1799
01:31:37,640 --> 01:31:39,840
Speaker 2: The young Kings will attend the local public schools that

1800
01:31:39,880 --> 01:31:43,720
Speaker 2: are in proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum

1801
01:31:43,920 --> 01:31:47,360
Speaker 2: will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending

1802
01:31:47,439 --> 01:31:52,320
Speaker 2: various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions

1803
01:31:52,360 --> 01:31:56,720
Speaker 2: about current events and even relevant historical contexts, introducing them

1804
01:31:56,720 --> 01:32:00,280
Speaker 2: to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animal

1805
01:32:00,600 --> 01:32:04,320
Speaker 2: on our form and on site stables. We just launched

1806
01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:07,479
Speaker 2: our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two

1807
01:32:07,560 --> 01:32:11,040
Speaker 2: point eight million dollars. Now why two point eight million dollars? Well,

1808
01:32:11,080 --> 01:32:13,439
Speaker 2: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

1809
01:32:13,479 --> 01:32:17,400
Speaker 2: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

1810
01:32:17,640 --> 01:32:19,920
Speaker 2: One of the most notable successes was that one of

1811
01:32:19,920 --> 01:32:25,200
Speaker 2: the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However,

1812
01:32:25,520 --> 01:32:27,760
Speaker 2: one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise

1813
01:32:27,760 --> 01:32:31,120
Speaker 2: a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

1814
01:32:31,160 --> 01:32:35,280
Speaker 2: plan for the homeless community. So, throughout the years, with

1815
01:32:35,520 --> 01:32:39,040
Speaker 2: much remorse, I reflect and on not maximizing that moment.

1816
01:32:39,120 --> 01:32:40,280
Speaker 1: I knew if at that.

1817
01:32:40,360 --> 01:32:43,559
Speaker 2: Time just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar,

1818
01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:47,240
Speaker 2: we would have raised at least two point eight million

1819
01:32:47,280 --> 01:32:50,160
Speaker 2: dollars That could have really established long term support for

1820
01:32:50,200 --> 01:32:53,439
Speaker 2: the homeless community, or at least started a long term

1821
01:32:53,439 --> 01:32:58,040
Speaker 2: initiative to do so. This is my do over, this

1822
01:32:58,240 --> 01:32:59,599
Speaker 2: is our new beginning.

1823
01:32:59,720 --> 01:32:59,920
Speaker 3: To get.

1824
01:33:00,479 --> 01:33:03,799
Speaker 2: We can attack this at the route by specifically helping

1825
01:33:03,880 --> 01:33:08,800
Speaker 2: our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in

1826
01:33:08,840 --> 01:33:10,760
Speaker 2: the American fossil care system.

1827
01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:12,320
Speaker 3: I'm the Terissar Whickfield.

1828
01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:15,720
Speaker 2: I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work

1829
01:33:15,760 --> 01:33:18,719
Speaker 2: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

1830
01:33:19,280 --> 01:33:23,719
Speaker 2: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

1831
01:33:23,840 --> 01:33:29,559
Speaker 2: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot

1832
01:33:29,560 --> 01:33:33,200
Speaker 2: com for more details Crown of King and make a

1833
01:33:33,240 --> 01:33:45,320
Speaker 2: donation today. Man, let me tell you something that was powerful,

1834
01:33:46,560 --> 01:33:54,599
Speaker 2: absolutely powerful. I'm telling you y'all heard me talk about

1835
01:33:54,600 --> 01:33:56,400
Speaker 2: the book Student of Love, and the reason why that's

1836
01:33:56,439 --> 01:34:02,000
Speaker 2: so important is because that thing that you just heard

1837
01:34:02,160 --> 01:34:07,160
Speaker 2: me walk in, it's all in the book. So click

1838
01:34:07,200 --> 01:34:10,920
Speaker 2: on that link so that you can get set free

1839
01:34:10,960 --> 01:34:15,360
Speaker 2: and healed and life restored. Man, here's my favorite part

1840
01:34:15,360 --> 01:34:17,439
Speaker 2: of the podcast where I speak to my future Wifey,

1841
01:34:17,840 --> 01:34:18,719
Speaker 2: dear future wife.

1842
01:34:18,720 --> 01:34:21,200
Speaker 1: He healing isn't glamorous.

1843
01:34:21,320 --> 01:34:26,000
Speaker 2: It's messy, inconvenient, and sometimes feels like punishment, but it's

1844
01:34:26,080 --> 01:34:28,920
Speaker 2: also necessary. I had to learn that before I could

1845
01:34:28,960 --> 01:34:32,040
Speaker 2: ever prepare my heart to love you well. There were

1846
01:34:32,080 --> 01:34:34,559
Speaker 2: moments when I wanted to rush through the pain, put

1847
01:34:34,560 --> 01:34:38,000
Speaker 2: a band aid over wounds that needed surgery, or distract

1848
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:41,080
Speaker 2: myself with business instead of sitting still in the silence.

1849
01:34:41,080 --> 01:34:46,120
Speaker 2: But I discovered healing. It's not passive. It's a choice.

1850
01:34:46,560 --> 01:34:49,920
Speaker 2: A choice to confront would hurt me, forgive who wounded me,

1851
01:34:50,040 --> 01:34:53,840
Speaker 2: including myself, and invite God into the broken places I

1852
01:34:53,920 --> 01:34:56,840
Speaker 2: tried to hide. The beauty of healing is that it

1853
01:34:56,880 --> 01:35:01,160
Speaker 2: doesn't erase the scars, it transforms them. My scars are

1854
01:35:01,160 --> 01:35:04,280
Speaker 2: no longer reminders of shame, but testimonies of survival and

1855
01:35:04,600 --> 01:35:09,840
Speaker 2: God's restoration. Their proof that I am still here hold

1856
01:35:10,000 --> 01:35:13,760
Speaker 2: enough to build something lasting with you. By the time

1857
01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:16,640
Speaker 2: you read this, know that I've done the work. I

1858
01:35:16,640 --> 01:35:19,760
Speaker 2: didn't wait for marriage to fix me. Allowed God to

1859
01:35:19,880 --> 01:35:24,280
Speaker 2: heal me, so marriage can bless me. Healing prepared me

1860
01:35:24,360 --> 01:35:29,160
Speaker 2: for you. Healing is the gift I bring to us

1861
01:35:30,040 --> 01:35:33,640
Speaker 2: your future, Hoby. I hope you enjoyed this episode of

1862
01:35:33,680 --> 01:35:38,040
Speaker 2: the Dear Future Wife You podcast. Remember belt live intentionally

1863
01:35:38,240 --> 01:35:40,679
Speaker 2: and transparently, and don't stop loving.

1864
01:35:41,120 --> 01:35:43,400
Speaker 3: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and

1865
01:35:43,479 --> 01:35:44,160
Speaker 3: YouTube channel.

1866
01:35:44,320 --> 01:35:47,839
Speaker 2: We're available on Apple podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

1867
01:35:48,080 --> 01:35:50,920
Speaker 2: You welcome your support. Simply share our podcast with your

1868
01:35:50,920 --> 01:35:51,679
Speaker 2: friends and family.