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Speaker 1: I think women need to hear this.

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Speaker 2: I went to him and I was like, I really

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Speaker 2: feel like a bad wife, I said, because you always

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Speaker 2: look out for me.

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Speaker 1: But what am I doing for you?

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Speaker 3: Ay?

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Speaker 4: I work quick? What has she done for you?

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Speaker 5: They are bc i's couple of the Year. They and

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Speaker 5: with oh Willas in the building.

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Speaker 2: I was back and forth with my son's father at

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Speaker 2: the time. That's all I knew. So when this man

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Speaker 2: came into the office, well put together confidence trying to

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Speaker 2: talk to me, it was just kind of like, what

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Speaker 2: do you want with me? I didn't feel worthy of

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Speaker 2: a man that looked like this, so I would duck

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Speaker 2: and dodge him, and I dodged him for about two years.

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Speaker 3: Two years.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, I don't want to waste this man time.

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Speaker 5: You said you didn't want to waste his time. I

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Speaker 5: want you to go back to young Withney. You're twenty

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Speaker 5: five years old. Why did you view yourself like that?

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Speaker 2: At that point, I didn't know what survival mold was,

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Speaker 2: but that's exactly what I was in. I had my

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Speaker 2: son at nineteen years old, so when me having him young,

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Speaker 2: he was a priority. Everything that I did was for

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Speaker 2: my son, So it was Okay, this guy over here

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Speaker 2: is trying to talk to me. I don't have time

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Speaker 2: for that. He don't have no kids, He's not gonna

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Speaker 2: understand his dynamic. I can't give him all of me

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Speaker 2: because I have my son over here. It was hard

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Speaker 2: for me because I was still trying to figure myself

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Speaker 2: out because I became a mom right out of high school.

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Speaker 2: Pretty much, I didn't feel worthy of that type of relationship.

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Speaker 1: I've never had a real relationship.

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Speaker 5: You had a child vibe, man, but never had a

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Speaker 5: real relationship.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 5: Did you have any people advising you telling you and man,

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Speaker 5: you may not want to get involved with.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'm twenty three, no kids, I got a card job,

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Speaker 3: I got a job.

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Speaker 2: So with that being said, he told me, you know,

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Speaker 2: after a couple of days or whatever, he said, I

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Speaker 2: am dating other people. He told me straight up, I'm

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Speaker 2: taking a year off. I'm trying to figure out me,

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Speaker 2: trying to figure out what do I like. And all

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Speaker 2: I could do is respect that because I wasn't used

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Speaker 2: to that. I wasn't used to a man telling me

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Speaker 2: I'm dating other women. So that made me look at

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Speaker 2: him differently. It was just like, oh wow, like Okay,

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Speaker 2: so you saw.

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Speaker 5: That as a positive, which I respect.

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Speaker 4: Was that hard for you?

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Speaker 3: She was was like, listen, I would get women with

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Speaker 3: kids back in the day. Let'm be honest with you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: What started as a search for understanding became a journey

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Speaker 5: of transformation. Every letter that I wrote led me to

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Speaker 5: this day. The day I got married November the twenty second,

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Speaker 5: twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 6: Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how

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Speaker 6: long I'll love you. Those lyrics echo through every fiber

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Speaker 6: of my soul at the very thought of you.

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Speaker 5: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 5: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 5: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

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Speaker 5: of growth, healing, and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 6: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 6: the gift promised to those those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 5: This isn't just our story, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 5: I'm the Terrassaar Whitfield.

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Speaker 6: I'm Ashley are Webfielders. Welcome to the podcasts.

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Speaker 5: Welcome to the Dear Future Wifie podcast. I'm your host

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Speaker 5: of Tarrasar.

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Speaker 7: Whitfield and I'm Ashley our with Field.

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Speaker 5: Listen, are you still shacking up with us? If you're

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Speaker 5: still shacking up with us, come on, can we get

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Speaker 5: a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure

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Speaker 5: you turn on your notification bell so you be notified

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Speaker 5: about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 4: Let me tell y'all something.

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Speaker 5: The reason why this is so important is because advertisers

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Speaker 5: sponsors podcast networks.

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Speaker 3: They look at the subscribe the subscription.

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Speaker 5: And see how many people are active subscribers to the podcast.

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Speaker 5: And so we're looking at doing some major deals and

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Speaker 5: so we need for you to subscribe, subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.

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Speaker 5: And y'all know that the mission of the Dear Future

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Speaker 5: Wifie podcast is to increase marriage.

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Speaker 7: Rates and to decrease divorced statistics.

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Speaker 5: While providing tools so that we can do relationships a

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Speaker 5: whole lot better. And today we have an exciting couple

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Speaker 5: on the podcast. They kept you laughing. Matter of fact,

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Speaker 5: they are BC Eyes, a couple of the Year. And so,

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Speaker 5: without further ado, well to the Future Wifey Podcast, Our

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Speaker 5: homies day and with old.

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Speaker 3: I'm talking about the government now saying Dayren there you go.

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Speaker 5: And Whitney and from now we'll just call you Day

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Speaker 5: and with since that's what the world knows, y'all.

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Speaker 3: Is how you feeling good? Ma? Mama?

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Speaker 4: Be proud?

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Speaker 3: Right you said? Because you said Day, I named you

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Speaker 3: spelled Day wrong? Is your name?

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Speaker 6: Ma'am?

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Speaker 7: I want why do you like it the other way?

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Speaker 3: Because it sounds real strong? You know, Day wron You

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Speaker 3: know I got like I pay a mortgage?

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Speaker 4: Day said, you knowrvous? Why are you nervous?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 1: Just that's just me?

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Speaker 2: He gets tired of it. Everything I do, I'm nervous

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Speaker 2: until I actually do it. Yeah, everything I do, I'm nervous.

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Speaker 2: I could just be going down the street. I'm little

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Speaker 2: nervous down the streets about something. But now I'm happy

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Speaker 2: to be here today.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god. So how y'all feel to y'all?

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Speaker 5: Weren't typically the traditional Christian influences and y'all somehow got

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Speaker 5: drafted into this category.

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Speaker 4: How that takes place?

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Speaker 3: Listen, I'm gonna tell you the truth. The Lord has

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Speaker 3: been around me my entire life. When it's embedded and

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Speaker 3: you don't know that you're doing it, so it'd be

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Speaker 3: certain videos. I'll talk about Sister so and so she

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Speaker 3: looked like Sister Thompson or some of them. She got

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Speaker 3: on a skirt and a long sleeve sweat, like my mama,

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Speaker 3: be proud. You just cover it up. You just cover

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Speaker 3: it up, you know, So that that'll be, that'll be.

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Speaker 3: I think that'll be the reason why people put us

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Speaker 3: in that category of being Christian and nothing.

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Speaker 2: We showcase it too, like and how we move we

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Speaker 2: family or in it. So I feel like everybody see that,

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Speaker 2: you know, this is the Christian More was that they

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Speaker 2: put out that to everybody.

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Speaker 4: That's good. That's good. How did y'all feel to win

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Speaker 4: a couple of the years.

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Speaker 2: We were honored? I was honored, Yeah, how do you

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Speaker 2: feel about?

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Speaker 3: I was honored, but I was I don't think we

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Speaker 3: were gonna win that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, ain't going in.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I was like people doing reactions to

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Speaker 3: gospel songs. We ain't did not one reaction to one

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Speaker 3: gospel song. I said, we're not gonna win this, and

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Speaker 3: they said, damn, why we did it?

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Speaker 4: Reaction to reaction we got the BC y'all.

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Speaker 3: I was like, Brandy, I damnloaded it. I was like,

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Speaker 3: there we go.

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Speaker 5: So what made y'all decide to bring laughter into your

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Speaker 5: social media content. I know you're already a comedian, but

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Speaker 5: how what made y'all start doing content like this?

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Speaker 2: Because that's who we are pretty much with the content.

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Speaker 2: I think it started back in with twenty twenty two

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Speaker 2: or twenty twenty three, the video with our son.

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Speaker 1: We went to what was it was a choir.

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Speaker 3: He had acquired meeting.

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Speaker 1: He had acquired me too at a school. Yeah, the school.

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Speaker 2: He had acquire man at the school and I used

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Speaker 2: to just pull out my phone and record because I

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Speaker 2: always know he gonna have something to say, something funny.

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Speaker 2: So my son, you know, we inside of the school

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Speaker 2: and he walking in and he was look at you,

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Speaker 2: just looking like you're looking with this afro and which

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Speaker 2: you got on.

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Speaker 3: He didn't look like a man of God at the moment.

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Speaker 3: I got on a pink polo with slacks, dress, shoes,

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Speaker 3: I'm looking like somebody. He looking like he don't belong

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Speaker 3: to her all over his head.

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Speaker 2: So I was mad, okay, So yeah, and everybody thought

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Speaker 2: that was funny. They just like the comedy of throw

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Speaker 2: them up.

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Speaker 3: I feel like you can bullyt somebody to do right, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I feel like you can't a little bit it's.

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Speaker 4: A little bit.

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Speaker 2: So we saw everybody relate to that. It was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: everybody liked this content. They like our dynamics. So that's

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Speaker 2: what made us like put out more content like that.

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Speaker 5: Have you ever have you ever done anything day that

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Speaker 5: offended her? And she was like, listen, now we can't

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Speaker 5: post this.

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Speaker 3: I'm be honest. The outfit, the outfits, y'all see, I

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Speaker 3: don't like doing that like I do. We do that

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Speaker 3: on the regular baseball. She hold on, wait, give the story, yeah,

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Speaker 3: give them a store, give them a story please.

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Speaker 2: I was getting ready for a friends given and I

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Speaker 2: was at the mall. It took me like two to

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Speaker 2: three I'm very indecisive.

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Speaker 1: It took me.

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Speaker 2: It took me two to three hours to find this outfit.

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Speaker 2: It was the big jerome looking boots like from Martin

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Speaker 2: he played Drome. I had these big white tall boots

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Speaker 2: and then I had this little sweater dress and I

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Speaker 2: was going from Forever twenty one back to the other store.

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Speaker 2: I was like, nah, they don't match. So I spent

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Speaker 2: two to three hours. When I got home and tried

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Speaker 2: it on, I said, this ain't it. It was cute.

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Speaker 1: When I was at the mall.

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Speaker 2: So I went to the friends giving my friends and

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Speaker 2: say nothing. I come in the house and we got

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Speaker 2: a hallway. They leads into the kitchen. So he's in

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Speaker 2: the kitchen. He ain't seen me all day. I come in.

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Speaker 2: He said, girl, I wait a minute, let me get

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Speaker 2: the phone because you're about to say so crazy. So

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Speaker 2: that's when I gave him the phone, and that's where

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Speaker 2: I started. Yeah, I love it.

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Speaker 4: I know what friends getting was this last year to you?

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Speaker 3: Three three? Yeah, but this has been a part of

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Speaker 3: our relationship, like you finna work with well, you know

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Speaker 3: my people find to be around right now.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 3: It's so when I felt like you went like that,

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Speaker 3: that's what you did, I said, okay, yeah, play one.

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Speaker 3: It was bad. It was so like I got you sucker.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna get your sucker. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But he doing in a way where it's not offensive.

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Speaker 2: Like I just laughed because it's so funny, and he'd

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Speaker 2: be like, I don't like doing this.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, but it's so funny today.

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Speaker 3: Because it's like when when in the house in their phone,

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Speaker 3: it's like that, but when it's like a million views,

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Speaker 3: like she had a copper fit, like it was like

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Speaker 3: a bronze outfit she had on. I was like, you

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Speaker 3: like Jesus, like Julius Caesar, you know, and so so

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Speaker 3: it was like, yeah, no, it's just so much. That's

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Speaker 3: on a regular basis. She didn't post that one.

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Speaker 4: She didn't post that CLI.

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Speaker 2: Really trying it on, and the way I was staying

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Speaker 2: then it was like so big and I was putting

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Speaker 2: it on. I was just standing straight up.

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Speaker 3: And then she's trying to turn it around. You know,

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Speaker 3: you could turn it around, it might look different. I

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Speaker 3: was like, nah, I like a poncho time ago country.

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Speaker 3: I'm telling you. I'm telling you.

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Speaker 8: But I do want to say I love that because

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Speaker 8: I think what that comes from is the fact that

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Speaker 8: you want to cover her. And so I love that

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Speaker 8: in marriage because a husband is always covering his wife.

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Speaker 8: And even though she's like saying, oh, this is funny,

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Speaker 8: it's it's really endearing to hear how you feel about it,

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Speaker 8: even though you're making content that makes everyone laugh. So

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Speaker 8: I think that's like the nuance in it is that

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Speaker 8: you're really being a good husband and saying I'm covering you.

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Speaker 7: But she's like, we're having fun.

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Speaker 2: I love you because you don't.

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Speaker 7: Take yourself too.

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Speaker 8: Seriously, I did want to ask, so you you both

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Speaker 8: did you both grow up in church or out?

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Speaker 3: Listen? I was born and ray listen, and I say,

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Speaker 3: my mama had me on a Friday. I was at

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Speaker 3: church on Sunday morning. You hear me. That's the part

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Speaker 3: of my set too. I'm talking about listen the joyful

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Speaker 3: noise on to the Lord in the youth choir two

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Speaker 3: days old.

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Speaker 4: You hear me.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, like it was usher board you b t

255
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Speaker 3: u drill team still, so it was. I was so

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Speaker 3: a part of the church that it was like, I

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Speaker 3: want to see what outside feel like. And so when

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Speaker 3: I met her, I was outside a little bit, but

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Speaker 3: I came in with a pink polo on and you know,

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Speaker 3: still looking like I was looking like of the church.

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Speaker 3: I love a pink po I love a pink polo, man,

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Speaker 3: I just do it. Just looked good skin.

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Speaker 7: And when you say you were outside, what does that mean?

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Speaker 3: So I really wasn't going to church all the time.

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Speaker 3: It was a mother's day. Christmas might pop up, you know,

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Speaker 3: I just feel like I need to see them.

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Speaker 4: So it was a good time to see them. What

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Speaker 4: about your.

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Speaker 2: Background with me, Well, my mom she had us in church,

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Speaker 2: you know, like it wasn't insistently, but it was kind

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Speaker 2: of were in a family to where my grandfather was

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Speaker 2: a pastor, so everybody they married a pastor. When I

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Speaker 2: go over to my aunt's house, we at church every

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Speaker 2: Sunday when I spend the night a mom, and I'm

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Speaker 2: in the dance team. So that was kind of my

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Speaker 2: way into church growing up.

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Speaker 4: How did you'll meet?

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Speaker 3: I was trying and pay my rent and I listen.

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Speaker 3: I was paying my rent for the first time by myself,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, let me go pay boom, and

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Speaker 3: then she was in there. She wouldn't know when I

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Speaker 3: signed my lease and I was like, hey, who are

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Speaker 3: you the same apartment?

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Speaker 4: You said, hey, let me go ahead and see if

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Speaker 4: I guess a free rent.

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Speaker 3: You hear that? It was, Yeah, it was a little

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Speaker 3: little half off this job a little movie.

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Speaker 4: Especially a little later say yeah it.

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Speaker 2: Was what back in twenty fourteen. I was twenty five,

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Speaker 2: they was twenty three three, And it didn't even hit

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Speaker 2: off right away?

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Speaker 3: My little cooler, see my bay cool because.

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Speaker 2: Apart we are just two years apart. I cannot know

294
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Speaker 2: what I'm saying. I'm like, we're only two years apart. Yeah,

295
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Speaker 2: he came into the office and it was kind of

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Speaker 2: just him coming in and saying, who is this? You know,

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Speaker 2: it was it was a little flirting going on with him.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't really paying him no attention because he came

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Speaker 2: in well dressed, confident, of course, had his own car,

300
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Speaker 2: had a job.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't paying him no attention and.

302
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Speaker 3: Talk about it.

303
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Speaker 2: Get to it.

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Speaker 1: So at this time, my son was maybe like five

305
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Speaker 1: or six.

306
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Speaker 3: Four.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't four.

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Speaker 3: He said, I'm four when I met him.

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Speaker 2: He didn't I have him on the weekend, had to

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Speaker 2: bring the baby to the job on the weekend. He'll

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Speaker 2: come in bothering me, but no, we I was back

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Speaker 2: and forth with my son's father at the time. So

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Speaker 2: with that being said, that's all I knew. So when

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Speaker 2: this man came into the office, well put together, confident,

315
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Speaker 2: trying to talk to me, it was just kind of like,

316
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Speaker 2: what do you want with me? And the twenty five

317
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Speaker 2: year old mindset I had back then, it was just

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Speaker 2: kind of like I didn't know my work. I didn't

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Speaker 2: feel worthy of a man that looked like this because

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Speaker 2: he just came in like he just knew what he

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Speaker 2: wanted so I would duck and dodge him, and I

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Speaker 2: dodged him for about two.

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Speaker 1: Years, two years.

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Speaker 3: Listen I was listening, I was still I thought that

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Speaker 3: that was her two years don't mean I was just

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Speaker 3: nothing else. It was just like that, look, she just

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Speaker 3: don't want me yet.

328
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Speaker 2: That's wanted some free rents.

329
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Speaker 3: She don't want She just don't know she want me yet.

330
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Speaker 3: She don't know.

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Speaker 5: So you were literally duck and dies. Like he came

332
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Speaker 5: to the office. You would try to really dodge him.

333
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Speaker 2: Well, he'll try to talk to me, and I'd be like, boy,

334
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Speaker 2: gone on, that's my favorite word, go on, you know,

335
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Speaker 2: he trying to talk let me take you out, and

336
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Speaker 2: I'm just like, I don't want to waste this man time.

337
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Speaker 3: Did you just say I got I got a boyfriend?

338
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Speaker 3: She didn't. She was just on and on with him,

339
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Speaker 3: you know, That's what That was another reason why I

340
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Speaker 3: was afraid. I was like, wow, am, I asked myself, like,

341
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Speaker 3: why are you chasing on so hard? A baby? And

342
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Speaker 3: she did want to talk to him, like let I go,

343
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Speaker 3: And it's like it's something about her, you know. It

344
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Speaker 3: was just like she liked to laugh when I go

345
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Speaker 3: in there. I'm always cracking jokes, and I would go

346
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Speaker 3: in there every Sunday, like you know, going out to church.

347
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Speaker 3: I'm like, let me go see what she's doing. She here,

348
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Speaker 3: And then it was one time I was I was

349
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Speaker 3: just playing. I was like, well how much I owe?

350
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Speaker 3: And he's like, you got a credit? I said, I've

351
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,760
Speaker 3: been paying extra on the red. Come on down.

352
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Speaker 1: In my mind, I'm like, see got it together?

353
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Speaker 2: I was like, oh no, he got it to get

354
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Speaker 2: him said, I'm so bad. I was. I didn't want

355
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Speaker 2: to waste this man time.

356
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Speaker 5: So this lit'ten unpacked that more. You said you didn't

357
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Speaker 5: want to waste his time. I want you to go

358
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Speaker 5: back to young Whitney at twenty three. You were twenty three, right,

359
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,720
Speaker 5: twenty five twenty five? He was twenty three, you were

360
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Speaker 5: twenty five years old. How did you view yourself and

361
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Speaker 5: why did you view yourself like that?

362
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Speaker 1: I just viewed myself at that point.

363
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Speaker 2: I didn't know what survival was, but that's exactly what

364
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Speaker 2: I was in. I had my son at nineteen years old,

365
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Speaker 2: so when me having him young, it was he was

366
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Speaker 2: a priority. Everything that I did was for my son.

367
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Speaker 2: And then I didn't have any like consistent help with him,

368
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Speaker 2: So it was Okay, this guy over here trying to

369
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Speaker 2: talk to me, I don't have time for that. He

370
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,520
Speaker 2: don't have no kids, He's not gonna understand this dynamic.

371
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Speaker 2: I can't give him all of me because I have

372
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Speaker 2: my son over here. So during that time, it was

373
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Speaker 2: just it was hard for me because I was still

374
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Speaker 2: trying to figure myself out because I became a mom

375
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Speaker 2: right out of high school pretty much, so trying to

376
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Speaker 2: be a mother, find myself, not even knowing I'm trying

377
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,480
Speaker 2: to find myself, just going with the flow, had my

378
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Speaker 2: own place, but still felt behind. So with him coming

379
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Speaker 2: in and this energy that he's bringing and laughter, it

380
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Speaker 2: made me feel like I'm behind. I don't I'm not

381
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Speaker 2: deserving of this right now. So that's why I just kept, like,

382
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,480
Speaker 2: you know, not telling him that reason, and he didn't

383
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 2: find it out until we actually got together. It was

384
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Speaker 2: just like I told him the truth of why I

385
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 2: kept pushing him off, but deep down the side, that's

386
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,000
Speaker 2: what it was. It was just I didn't feel worthy

387
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Speaker 2: of that type of relationship. I've never had a real relationship.

388
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Speaker 4: That's good.

389
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Speaker 5: You had a child by man, but never had a

390
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Speaker 5: real relationship.

391
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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, I.

392
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Speaker 3: Want people to unpack that in their own mind.

393
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Speaker 4: That's a powerful thing.

394
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Speaker 5: You do the most miraculous thing with somebody, to give

395
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Speaker 5: birth to a child, and then say I never had

396
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,160
Speaker 5: a real relationship. But then that prevented you from opening

397
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 5: up your mind and feeling the sense of worthiness to

398
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Speaker 5: even entertain him because you said at that time you

399
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Speaker 5: kept going back and forth with the father of your child.

400
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's all I knew.

401
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,920
Speaker 4: How did you view women with kids back in that day.

402
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Speaker 3: I'ma be honest yep, completely honest. Growing up eighteen nineteen twenty,

403
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 3: it was like, no, now she got a kid, I

404
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,359
Speaker 3: can't do it like my mom like And it was

405
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 3: crazy because I was I said that because my mom.

406
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 3: It was only me and my mom. But I seen

407
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 3: how we struggled and how not even struggled. It was

408
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 3: just like, how she may do what we had And

409
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,520
Speaker 3: seeing Whitney and Ramaje, it was like, you know, I could,

410
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 3: I could do this. You know, I knew what I

411
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,760
Speaker 3: needed growing up. So I feel like that was the

412
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,239
Speaker 3: reason why I wanted to be a part of it

413
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 3: so much, because you know, meeting him, I'm four, you know,

414
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,240
Speaker 3: and I'm like, man, he still got he's still young,

415
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:27,440
Speaker 3: he's still innocent. If he had structure, he'd beat Skoy's limit.

416
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 3: You know, I saw myself in him, and I'm like,

417
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,360
Speaker 3: you know, you just want to laugh. I can see

418
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,439
Speaker 3: what you're doing. I see how you moving. You know,

419
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,399
Speaker 3: when you leave and you got to go take him

420
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Speaker 3: to school football, and I'm like, you need help. So

421
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 3: like I know, I just saw my mom in her.

422
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 3: So I was like, all right, let me.

423
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Speaker 4: That's interesting day.

424
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,159
Speaker 5: You said at first you were like, no way a

425
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 5: woman with a kid, but you were raised by a

426
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,639
Speaker 5: single parent, and then saw yourself in the young in

427
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,760
Speaker 5: your now son, saw yourself in him and said, I

428
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,160
Speaker 5: know how to provide for him what was lacking from

429
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,679
Speaker 5: a father figure. It's not amazing how God works. Man,

430
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,080
Speaker 5: that's God and all his opniscis allows you to go

431
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 5: through a journey that because of the journey you've been through,

432
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 5: now you can provide in that way to her.

433
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 8: Son, and that you're willing to provide because a lot

434
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,400
Speaker 8: of people feel like I've heard a lot of men

435
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 8: say that it's not their responsibility. And so when you

436
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 8: come into a space I've done this obviously because I

437
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 8: believe that his kids are our kids, right, and that

438
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 8: is a very it's a selfless thing to say you

439
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,320
Speaker 8: belong to me, now you know what I mean. So

440
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 8: what I do for mine, I do for your yours

441
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 8: and there is no difference. So I honor you for that,

442
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:38,919
Speaker 8: especially at a young age.

443
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:44,080
Speaker 5: And so did you have any people advising you, telling you,

444
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,439
Speaker 5: trying to hey man, you may not want to get involved.

445
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 3: Yes, you're talking man, I'm twenty three, twelve po no kids,

446
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,879
Speaker 3: I got a card job, I got a job for

447
00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 3: one game. Why no travel? What are you doing? Then?

448
00:19:58,520 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 3: You know I can take care of Let me be

449
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 3: with It's like I don't want to do that. It's

450
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 3: like it's like, nah, man, I love this woman for her.

451
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,399
Speaker 3: I like this woman to the point to where you

452
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 3: know it's a it's more than just a relationship. It's

453
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 3: a friendship as well. It's my best friend. Like by talking.

454
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 5: About how did you allow that to get to that

455
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 5: point because at first you don't really know it like that,

456
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,880
Speaker 5: you just see it in passing. What made you decide

457
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 5: to pursue her? And I know, like you said, you

458
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,960
Speaker 5: wasn't just two years waiting on her. You was out

459
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 5: there doing your thing. But what made you keep coming

460
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 5: back to her?

461
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:27,439
Speaker 3: It was just something like she was like the one

462
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 3: that got away. Like she was like the one that

463
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 3: got away. It was like what what was it about

464
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 3: her to say no? Like why not me? You know?

465
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 3: It was pretty much it was like I got it together,

466
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 3: Like I'm every woman's dream. What you're doing? Like you

467
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 3: don't want to meet? So I went looking for her.

468
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 3: She didn't work at the apartments she left.

469
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 2: I left sixteen, really yeah, and.

470
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 3: I had got a luxury apartment. I'm over now, you

471
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 3: hear me? We got luxury now, we got crown molded me.

472
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,000
Speaker 2: He was really somebody.

473
00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,879
Speaker 3: I found out where she was at, and they was

474
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 3: like she had them apartment, she's working at them appartment.

475
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 3: I was like, what's she over there? I'm like, let

476
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 3: me go over there. I went over there. Now I

477
00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 3: don't really want to stay her. I just want you

478
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:07,600
Speaker 3: to give me a tour.

479
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:07,919
Speaker 4: You know.

480
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 2: He walks in.

481
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 3: I'm like, one of the coworkers told me where she

482
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,639
Speaker 3: was a shouts out to just because she got.

483
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, you you was here for a minute,

484
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 2: justiccause this is that was her job. Because she told

485
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 2: him where I was at and it was all she

486
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 2: wrote from that.

487
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 3: I have a phone number. Now she's gone. She can't

488
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 3: tell me Instagram because she was Yeah, she was hiding.

489
00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 7: From me about that that encounter, like what did you say?

490
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 2: It's funny because nothing still went through my mind, like

491
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 2: I need to give him a chance.

492
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,439
Speaker 1: It was just like, boy, what you doing? I was

493
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 1: shocked to see him walk through that door.

494
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah it was I didn't have no

495
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 2: thoughts when he came in.

496
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 1: It was just like what is going on?

497
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 2: Sayah? After that, that's when we I think a couple

498
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 2: of months. Were you still in a relationship then or

499
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 2: you got you was out of a when you came.

500
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 3: And I hope you well yeah, I was, yeah, I'm

501
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 3: looking for nobody I got yeah, yeah yeah.

502
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,159
Speaker 5: So when you went there, were you just looking to

503
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 5: go see your old homegirl or what you going there

504
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 5: to say? I really want I feel like she's the

505
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 5: one that got away both.

506
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 3: There was the homegirl first, but then it was like

507
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,240
Speaker 3: let's do what this go? You still you want me?

508
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 4: Now?

509
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 3: What it was? It was like, gone on, I'm like

510
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 3: all right, you got ready? You still ain't ready? You're

511
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,880
Speaker 3: missing out on your blessing I'm gonna do this again.

512
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 3: I gonna do it again.

513
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 2: Did you tell her that I was twenty.

514
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 3: Five at this time? You know, two years and went by.

515
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 3: I done went through a little. I'm like, I was like,

516
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 3: I needed one with a story. And I tell my

517
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,360
Speaker 3: sister this all time, like I just want to want

518
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 3: with a story because really, because I was dating women

519
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 3: that you know, no kids, they were in college and

520
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 3: they wanted to live that life. I want one kind

521
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 3: of struggling. It's going to appreciate me. Okay, don't need

522
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 3: need some guys for real. You know what I'm saying. Guy,

523
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 3: some guy. That's a little guidance.

524
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 2: You know what you playing it.

525
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 3: I'm telling you. But I was like, I was like,

526
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,639
Speaker 3: I want one. You know you have a list. I

527
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 3: have a list growing like out of high school in college.

528
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, she gotta go to school, two pair of household,

529
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 3: all the stuff I didn't have because what I was

530
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 3: like looking for that's crazy And I was like that's insane.

531
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 3: It was like, she gotta be like two pair of household,

532
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 3: she gotta come two pair of household, she got to

533
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 3: be in school, college, degree, yellow with a big forehead.

534
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 3: I need that. You know it was none of that,

535
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 3: none of you Lord, a little funny man, the exact

536
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 3: who you are, who you are, and I'm like, I

537
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 3: need me, love me.

538
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 2: I cannot.

539
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 8: It's so good though, that you realized that that list

540
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 8: was like the opposite of what you were, because in

541
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 8: there they'll tell you to unpack like why that is

542
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,959
Speaker 8: and why you're searching for the thing instead of actually

543
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 8: doing the healing yourself to be able to really show

544
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 8: up for the person you're supposed to be with.

545
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 7: So I love that this. Actually it's funny. It is

546
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 7: hilarious that you had a list.

547
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:19,360
Speaker 8: But we talked to someone who is but we're talking

548
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,800
Speaker 8: to another guy about starchy about life.

549
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 4: Yeah we had an episode. Yeah we did with New York.

550
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 6: Yeah.

551
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 7: I like, here's my wife.

552
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it. I tore it up and I was like,

553
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 3: I'm gonna just go look for what the opposite is.

554
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 3: And I was like, she keep pushing me away, and

555
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 3: but she's every all. I just wanted to give it

556
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 3: a chance. I just wanted her to give it a chance.

557
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 3: Let's go on a date.

558
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,920
Speaker 2: It just kept following me. Finally, and I was doing

559
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 2: videos at this time. So yeah, so I started out

560
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 2: doing videos on social media. It was like twenty fifteen,

561
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 2: twenty sixteen, and that's when it was like really frowned

562
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 2: up on, like everybody looking at you, like what you're doing.

563
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 1: So I was on Snapchat and I used to do

564
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: like remake some music videos. So I had on this

565
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 1: red wig. He inboxed me, and I'm like, is he

566
00:24:59,040 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 1: on my Snapchat?

567
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 3: I was like, how did he find me out here?

568
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 3: I was like, I was like, she popped up on

569
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 3: my sid rehead. That's all I feel, rehead. What's he doing?

570
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 3: What's she doing?

571
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, you see me with

572
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 2: this wig. So finally, I think honestly, because I wasn't

573
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 2: dealing with my son's father at that time, I did

574
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: get into like a quick relationship for like six months

575
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 2: that didn't work out. So during that time when he

576
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: came back to the office, I was just kind of

577
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 2: getting over that last relationship. So when he messaged me,

578
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 2: it was kind of like I had been free for

579
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 2: six months.

580
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 1: I was just doing videos. I wasn't talking to nobody.

581
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 2: So finally when he messaged me that, hey, redhead, we

582
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 2: kept the conversation going and he was like, let me

583
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 2: take you out and I was like, you know what, Okay,

584
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 2: let's do it.

585
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 7: Finally what changed in you?

586
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 2: What changed me? It was like it gotta be something

587
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 2: this man keeps coming out of nowhere, Like this has

588
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,760
Speaker 2: to be God or something else. Yeah, it was two

589
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 2: years at that point. It was years, and obviously it

590
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: was something like his last relationship didn't work, so now

591
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 2: he's out trying to figure it all out again. And

592
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 2: it was kind of like, okay, let me see what

593
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 2: this is going to turn into. And did you do

594
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 2: some work?

595
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 7: Sorry, real quick, did you do some work?

596
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 8: Because you were saying and I hear from so many

597
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,040
Speaker 8: women they're like, I don't feel worthy of this. And

598
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:23,439
Speaker 8: when someone approaches you and it's real intentional, it can

599
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 8: be scary for women.

600
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 4: Graduate from camp work.

601
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 1: He mean no, but no I didn't.

602
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,680
Speaker 2: Honestly, it was an excitement feeling I had got. I

603
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 2: got excited because it was like, I'm not dealing with

604
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 2: that extra baggage anymore. I'm done with this past relationship

605
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 2: and now yes that the son father, Yeah, yeah, it

606
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: was that was doing too much for me. It was

607
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 2: just like I can't let it go, like it had

608
00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 2: a whole me. So now that I let it all go.

609
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 2: It was like, okay, I'm free to just kind of

610
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 2: give someone else some attention. So he asked me on

611
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 2: the day. It was like, okay, let's let's see what

612
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 2: you're talking about, since you just can't.

613
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 1: Leave me alone.

614
00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 3: Now this is okay, I'm being honest and be honest.

615
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: This is not the first time that she did say

616
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:24,200
Speaker 3: yes to a date. But I had you remember that, Okay, Jay,

617
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 3: my friend met, my friend came over. We were supposed

618
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 3: to go out, and we had we were just chilling,

619
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 3: playing the game and we was just talking and I

620
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 3: didn't go to sleep. I fell asleep and I missed

621
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 3: the date. I didn't I didn't go reach out to you,

622
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 3: and I was I'll pay your sister. I'll pay your

623
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 3: sister because I was like, I pay your sister to watch,

624
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 3: like watch your son again, like you know, give me

625
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,120
Speaker 3: another chance. Because I fell asleep, I missed the date.

626
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 3: Now this is the second one. Now I'm gonna take

627
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 3: my nap early. We're gonna go to We finna go

628
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,680
Speaker 3: to this movie. Okay, I'm gonna make it. We're gonna

629
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: make this movie.

630
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 2: He was that when we So he came and got

631
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 2: me open up doors and talking about it conversation. It

632
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 2: was I saw a different side of him because, like

633
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 2: I said, he come in confident, laughing, joking, but he

634
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 2: actually had a conversation. It was like we were talking.

635
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,359
Speaker 2: He was asking me, like what I like to do,

636
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 2: like about my family. Like he was really into me

637
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 2: and I had all of his attention. So when I

638
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 2: saw that, it was just like, oh my god, you

639
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 2: know how to hold a conversation.

640
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: Ain't he funny?

641
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, let's keep going to see where

642
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 2: this's goes.

643
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 1: We went to the movies and that was a good time.

644
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 2: You know, he was a gentleman. It wasn't you know,

645
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 2: trying to take me to the house and nothing like that.

646
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 2: You know, he took me home.

647
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 1: It was I was like, call my friends, I said,

648
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 1: I like him, had made the group.

649
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 3: Chap, the group chat chat, Hey listen chat positive.

650
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I liked him.

651
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 5: So then you called him to your friends. It was

652
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 5: n you know, women always have you know, you'd be like,

653
00:28:58,600 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 5: you know, stalker.

654
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 2: The.

655
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 3: One with the truck.

656
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 2: One time, I cannot.

657
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:12,760
Speaker 3: I didn't know.

658
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: I just it was just his name, Darren, That's what

659
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,160
Speaker 2: I called him. But after that, yeah, we hit it

660
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 2: off and it was just dating. Now one thing with

661
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 2: him after his and I don't know if you want

662
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 2: to tell it. Okay, So after his relationship, this is

663
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 2: the moment where I guess he felt like this list

664
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 2: he had it just wasn't the mountain to what he

665
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 2: wanted and a woman, you know, it just wasn't him.

666
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: So with that being said, he told me, you know,

667
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 2: after a couple of days or whatever, he said, I

668
00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 2: am dating other people. He told me straight up, I'm

669
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 2: taking a year off. I'm trying to figure out me,

670
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 2: trying to figure out what do I like. And all

671
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 2: I could do is respect that because I wasn't used

672
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 2: to that. I wasn't used to a man telling me

673
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: I'm dating other women. And for him to like go

674
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: a whole year without being in a relationship, that showed

675
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 2: me how consistent. And you know, it just it spoke volumes.

676
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 2: It was like, okay, like he really can stick to something.

677
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 2: This is what he said he wanted to do, and

678
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: he's doing it. No matter how much a girl say

679
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: I want to be with you or anything of that nature.

680
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: He's doing what he wants to. He's prioritizing himself. So

681
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 2: that made me look at him differently. It was just

682
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 2: like oh wow, Like okay, so you saw it.

683
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 4: As a positive, which I respect. What made you decide

684
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 4: to do that?

685
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 3: I mean, I've been trying to get married field you're me.

686
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 3: I was engaged at twenty two, and I was in

687
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 3: another serious relationship, like when she didn't give me the

688
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 3: chance at twenty three, twenty five, I was another serious relationship,

689
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 3: and it was like it So every time when you

690
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 3: say serious, you talking about marriage, I'm looking for marriage.

691
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 3: I want I want a wife. I want a family.

692
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 3: So that was my main thing of growing up. I

693
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 3: want a family, so something I didn't have. So I'm like,

694
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 3: I'm looking for my wife and my son and my daughter,

695
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 3: and I want to play catch in the backyard, things

696
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 3: of that nature, the American dream. So when I'm looking

697
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 3: at that, it's uh at that, I'm like, I'm looking

698
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 3: for that woman. So it was like I can't find it,

699
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 3: So let me just do it. Let me just do

700
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 3: it your way. I'm gonna just be single for the

701
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 3: year of twenty seventeen and just rock out with this,

702
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 3: you know, be intentional, but also figure out what I

703
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 3: like to do. If I don't want to go out.

704
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 3: I don't want to go out. If I want to

705
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 3: go out, I'll go out. Was that hard for you?

706
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:19,520
Speaker 2: It was?

707
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 3: It was like, listen, I'm a catch you ha mad

708
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 3: you had ma listen. I'm thinking he's just so full

709
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 3: of hisself.

710
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 4: Am come on, what.

711
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 3: Don't want to be with you?

712
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 5: I'll do this?

713
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 3: And I like, look, I want to I want to

714
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 3: be single. Look, I want to be single. Are you

715
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 3: with hugs? Because I was, I'll be on Snapchat, I'll

716
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 3: be I'll be showing what I'm doing. I'm playing golf.

717
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 3: And then I got with you with the girl with

718
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 3: the braid. So that's what that is. That's crazy. Always

719
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 3: had post everybody. I was honest, I'm outside, I'm I

720
00:31:56,480 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 3: don't believe I belong to nobody, but Jesus, hey, he

721
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:00,840
Speaker 3: got me.

722
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 2: He lived his life that year. I ain't gonna lie.

723
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 2: He lived his life and I lived it through him.

724
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 1: Because I was just like, this is crazy.

725
00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 3: Don't take Look they got my undivided attention. Look, I

726
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 3: ain't taking it back.

727
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 2: A lot of women can't do that, a lot of

728
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:21,680
Speaker 2: women cannot do that.

729
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you said, so how did you cope with that?

730
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 3: Then?

731
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 4: Because you said a lot of women can't do that.

732
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: A lot of women can't do that.

733
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 2: I think what kept what was in my mind was

734
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 2: that I signed up for this, so I'm taking a

735
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 2: gamble right now.

736
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: It's almost like taking a gamble.

737
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 3: He's a good You want him.

738
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 5: Said, I like him your life translated also to I

739
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,239
Speaker 5: want to be in a committed relationship with him.

740
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: I tell him I loved him.

741
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 3: You see, this was I want to do, say single?

742
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 3: And what she do?

743
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 4: I love you to come on now, he like.

744
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: And I wann't expecting for him to say it back

745
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: because it was a moment we were just laughing on

746
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 2: the phone and I was like, I finished laughing and

747
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 2: I was like, I love you, and I I wasn't

748
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 2: expected for him because I knew like his feelings were

749
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 2: gaining from me as well. But I know he wanted

750
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 2: to stick to what his plan was. He really wanted

751
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 2: to be single for the entire year because, like he said,

752
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 2: he wanted to be married.

753
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 4: Was she about to make you break that commitment that year?

754
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 3: It was it was like, man, I did hang out

755
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 3: with her more than everybody else I did, and it

756
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 3: was like it was I'm getting kind of hate mail.

757
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. It was like, so you

758
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 3: just always you don't want to hang out like I

759
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 3: just I enjoy it. It's not a bad thing to

760
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 3: hang out with her. Like we were going out on dates.

761
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, where you want to go? We can go

762
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:49,480
Speaker 3: to jail. I want to I want to take you out.

763
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 3: You want to take me? Come on, let's go, come

764
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 3: pick me up.

765
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 2: You. But then I saw in twenty seventeen, I lost

766
00:33:59,880 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 2: my sister. She never got to meet him, And yeah,

767
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: that was very that was a tough moment. I think

768
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 2: we started dating in February and she passed in May

769
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 2: and he was there. He had me come up to

770
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 2: his job. I'm in there in the office with him

771
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 2: because I just was I've never lost anyone. I have

772
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,320
Speaker 2: never had a close loss like that before. She's older,

773
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 2: we're ter of years apart, really close. Like I feel

774
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,320
Speaker 2: like Dave took the place of her, because she was

775
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 2: the one that was the nurturer to me. She was

776
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: like a second mom to me, you know, motivating me

777
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 2: to do certain things at my comfort zone. And when

778
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 2: she passed away, it's like they came in with that

779
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 2: and it's just how God work is so funny because

780
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 2: it's like, I give him a lot of pushback, but

781
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 2: I needed.

782
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

783
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 2: So with me losing my sister, he was there. You know,

784
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 2: he still was outside, but he was there. He was

785
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: very respectful. He left work and was you know, I

786
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 2: came to his he left early. He consoled me, and

787
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 2: that I think that really is what like bonded us

788
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,720
Speaker 2: together at that moment in May of twenty seventeen.

789
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 4: And then how did y'all get exclusive? That was?

790
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,959
Speaker 3: That was that was That was January January. I stayed

791
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 3: the whole year, the whole year. It was tough because

792
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 3: when she went through when she was her sister, it

793
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 3: was like, man, I'm in, you know, I'm on my

794
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,800
Speaker 3: way to work and I'm like, hey, I can't come in.

795
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 3: They was like hoop ass. I'm like this girl I'm

796
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 3: talking to you know, you can't call it for that,

797
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 3: you know, but it was like, hey man, and I

798
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 3: was like, y'all gotta go. I was like, I got

799
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 3: and I was like, y'all gotta go, I said, and

800
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 3: I can't come in, you know, I went. I've you know,

801
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 3: been in the church. You lose a lot of people

802
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 3: that you're close to, and so I know how to

803
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 3: deal with death and grieving and things of that nature.

804
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, she just she just need somebody there at

805
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 3: the moment, and me being there, I'm like, okay, I

806
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 3: can You're gonna have to grieve by yourself, but I

807
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 3: can keep you, you know, laughing for a little bit.

808
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 3: You know, you can cry, you can let it out,

809
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 3: and you can cheer her for a little bit.

810
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 4: And your job to go spend time with her.

811
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it happened right when we was we was

812
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 3: together and she got the call and I'm like, oh,

813
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 3: I was like, this was going, Oh okay, I'm gonna

814
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 3: have to come in and have to leave early. And

815
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:20,719
Speaker 3: she came up there she was I was. I was

816
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:22,399
Speaker 3: working at writer at the time, and I was dealing

817
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 3: with truck dripping, like, man, you got your dollar there. Man,

818
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 3: I was like, man, y'allill gone on ahead, head man,

819
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 3: go ahead. But it bonded us, It really did, because

820
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 3: I saw that she could trust me and I didn't

821
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 3: want to, like, you know, mess up her trust. And

822
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 3: that's what I was like, did you almost you know,

823
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 3: get a relationship. Yeah. I was like yeah, but it

824
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 3: was like I still got to look out for me

825
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 3: at the same time. So I was like, look, you know,

826
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 3: I'm still finna go out out better for a week

827
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 3: this day for a week.

828
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 4: Now, crazy, I can bring this food back. I can

829
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:57,920
Speaker 4: her to buy you something.

830
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like to go crazy, But overall it

831
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 2: was that.

832
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 3: That experience really bonded us together. I saw her vulnerable

833
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 3: and I saw her son vulnerable as well, and it

834
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 3: was like, man, like I forgot Yeah. So yeah, you know,

835
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 3: I mean not like crazy, Like if I'm over there,

836
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 3: you know, we will play the game. I'm not like

837
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,239
Speaker 3: your mama said, I ain't doing none of that. I'm

838
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 3: not there. I'm like, I don't know if i'na be

839
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 3: here long, brother, because she gets she likes to run. Okay,

840
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 3: she likes to run. So you know what I'm saying,

841
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 3: We're gonna bond a little bit, play a little video game. Yeah,

842
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 3: but you know, I'm just here to say hi, your mom.

843
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 3: I'm about to go. But during that time, it was

844
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, we just we just need to

845
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 3: talk more. And that bonded us. And I was like

846
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 3: I don't want to, you know, get with you out

847
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:55,880
Speaker 3: of guilt. And so that was another thing.

848
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 5: So that's good, that's good.

849
00:37:57,719 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, we end up getting together New Year's wait, his year.

850
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,279
Speaker 2: He got a hotel in rock Wall. He surprised me.

851
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 2: We went out there and we went to Glorious talk

852
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 2: about it.

853
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, a little miltdown.

854
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 2: We went there and he had a little promise ring

855
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: and he was like, will you be my girlfriend? So yeah,

856
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: he did a little girlfriend proposal, and then we made

857
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 2: it official.

858
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 1: We were exclusive.

859
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 5: And so what did you feel when you said exclusive

860
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 5: for you day? Because it's a different type of exclusive

861
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,919
Speaker 5: for you. She may be thinking it's my boyfriend because

862
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 5: that's all she used to you looking for your marriage.

863
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:35,839
Speaker 5: Minded you're saying in that moment that you recalibrate and say,

864
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 5: I'm gonna start taking things slow. It's just gonna be

865
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:38,360
Speaker 5: my girlfriend.

866
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 6: That you say.

867
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 5: The reason why I'm exclusive with her because I see

868
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:42,439
Speaker 5: her as my wife.

869
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,239
Speaker 4: Where were you at at that.

870
00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 3: The second one? I see her as my wife, and

871
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,959
Speaker 3: so me seeing her is my wife, I'm like, Okay,

872
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 3: we're gonna move accordingly. We about to do this this

873
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 3: and you can take it over if you were like yeah, yeah, yeah.

874
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 4: What do you do?

875
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 3: Yeah she won for the love of day.

876
00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 4: Yeah she won.

877
00:38:58,320 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's come on now.

878
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 2: I don't think I I was ready for the love

879
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 2: of day because twenty eighteen, twenty seventeen was fun. Twenty

880
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 2: eighteen was serious. It was you know, you said, I

881
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 2: told him what I wanted, you know what I mean.

882
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 2: I what I was looking for at that time was

883
00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 2: like someone to be a role model to my son.

884
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 2: That was like the priority because he was so young,

885
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 2: and that's just what I wanted at that moment. So

886
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 2: when he came into the picture, he was giving me

887
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 2: exactly what I wanted, you know. He was like, Hey,

888
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 2: I want to be all in with your son money wise.

889
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 2: Let's pull out these bank statements. See what your money

890
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 2: looking like. I'm like, I don't know if I want

891
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 2: you to see my bank statements.

892
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:42,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, come on, you say, I'm looking. I got a wife, man,

893
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:42,959
Speaker 3: I got a wife.

894
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 2: Now I had twenty dollars in my account. He said,

895
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 2: what are you twenty dollars on.

896
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 3: The what I was a Monday?

897
00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 4: What wouldna do for the rest of the whig?

898
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 3: Baby? Say? Baby, She's like, we're gonna go to our

899
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 3: eat for free, we'n go to church, We're gonna go

900
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 3: to KFP.

901
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 2: I was like, all the time we was making y'all.

902
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 2: He was that momentality. We had to make it that way.

903
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,280
Speaker 2: So when he came in, and it scared me because

904
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 2: it's like you pray for stuff like this, because before

905
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 2: all of that I did, I didn't have a list,

906
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 2: but it was like, god, you know, man, you know,

907
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 2: twenty five year old mindset at that time. I want

908
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:19,800
Speaker 2: a man that's handsome, child, you know, a little petty

909
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 2: little stuff. Somebody to be here for my son and

910
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,000
Speaker 2: guide him. That's what that listed. I wasn't specific at all.

911
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 2: So when he came in, it was full blown. He

912
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 2: was uncomfortable. I was like, oh, this is the answer,

913
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 2: press it's uncomfortable. Now I'm uncomfortable.

914
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:33,960
Speaker 3: This ain't this? Ain't it?

915
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 2: So with that being said, it was hard for me

916
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 2: to allow him all the way in with my son

917
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 2: because then my mind started overthinking like okay, when is

918
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 2: this some work?

919
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 1: And yeah, when if he leave?

920
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 2: I allowed him this close to my son and now

921
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 2: my son gonna look at me in this way, and

922
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:53,200
Speaker 2: you know, you want to put money together, and I'm

923
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 2: thinking he's trying to rob me. And he made more

924
00:40:55,000 --> 00:41:02,000
Speaker 2: money than me. Yeah, eighteen and when we broke up,

925
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 2: we broke up, in twenty nineteen. We were together a

926
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 2: whole Yearah, I wasn't ready.

927
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 1: No, he ended it.

928
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,439
Speaker 4: He talk to me today.

929
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,240
Speaker 3: I knew my word, I knew my work. That's me anybody.

930
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:21,479
Speaker 3: I knew my worth. It was it was, I'm trying

931
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 3: to make us better, not just you. I'm trying to

932
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 3: make us better financially. Boom. It was like, we're doing this.

933
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 3: We're trying to buy a house. I want him to

934
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:30,959
Speaker 3: have a backyard. I want him to take the trash

935
00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 3: out for real. You know what I'm saying.

936
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 4: I want to get a house with her before y'all

937
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:34,439
Speaker 4: got married.

938
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 3: We want to get married in the house. But it

939
00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 3: was like, let's move like your steps you gotta take

940
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,360
Speaker 3: to get to the house. So let's see the finances.

941
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 4: Boom.

942
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 3: And then he's getting in trouble at school and I'm like,

943
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 3: let me, I got I'm here.

944
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 4: I know what to do. You want to go to school.

945
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 3: I'm at the school. I'm in thee. I'm in thee.

946
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 3: You heard me them, I'm talking to them. What he

947
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 3: gotta he gotta he gotta recital. I'm going up there.

948
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm pops, I'm dad now. So I was

949
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 3: looking at it from that aspect. He's ten, so I

950
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 3: ain't got that much time. So with me not having

951
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 3: that much time, it's like, Okay, I got you young,

952
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 3: little You're still a little young, but I need to

953
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 3: make sure I do it quickly. So when you go

954
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,839
Speaker 3: to middle school, high school, you know how to act.

955
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 3: You know, you know how to make sure that you

956
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,359
Speaker 3: don't embarrass your mom, your mom, your father. You don't

957
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 3: don't embarrass me.

958
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 4: You don't do that.

959
00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 3: So that that's how I was coming at him. That's good.

960
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 3: So I knew him being a boy, he's gonna turn

961
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 3: into a man. So structure is most definitely needed. He

962
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,839
Speaker 3: got his mama, his aunt, his grandmother. They just giving

963
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 3: him the world. I'm like, buddy, people gonna change on you.

964
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 3: Turn eighteen. You hear me. The lady gonna change on you,

965
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 3: turn eighteen, I'm telling you. So I'm telling him that,

966
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 3: and I'm I'm putting myself in his shoes again. So

967
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,920
Speaker 3: I'm looking at what I needed. I was like, man,

968
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,680
Speaker 3: if I was, I was a quote unquote bad kid,

969
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 3: but I just had a smart math. I was always

970
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 3: in adult conversations, so I was smart for my age.

971
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 3: I'm telling him. I'm like, you're smart, just just tone

972
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 3: it down a little bit. So, so, man, what did

973
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 3: you do?

974
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 4: So what was a breaking point where you was like,

975
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 4: I know my word.

976
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 3: When he had a basketball game. That was just the

977
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 3: straw that brought the camera's back. He had a basketball

978
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 3: game and the dad was there, and she came back

979
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 3: and she was like, you know the dad, this, this, this,

980
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 3: And I'm like, what, you're worried about him for you

981
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 3: know what, I'm already I already have a fear of

982
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,359
Speaker 3: you going back to him or having certain feelings for him.

983
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:32,359
Speaker 3: And it wasn't like that, like it was just it's

984
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 3: still something there. I'm twenty five at the time, so

985
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 3: I'm not all the way psiologically there and comfortable with

986
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 3: myself seriously, like that I showed confidence, but I'm like, man,

987
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 3: I really don't got to be here. I can really leave.

988
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 3: And so it was like, you know what, I'm about

989
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,719
Speaker 3: to go twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, I got my own

990
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 3: place with my brother, my little brother, and I was

991
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:52,720
Speaker 3: just focused on myself again.

992
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 4: So what was that conversation you told her?

993
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 3: What though in the breakup, you said, I don't want

994
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 3: to do this, No more. Really, I was like, I

995
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 3: can't do this on more like it's a it's I'm

996
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 3: too focused on you and you're not focused on us.

997
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 3: And was that true?

998
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:07,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was true.

999
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 3: It was a lie.

1000
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 2: I just wasn't used to anything that he was bringing.

1001
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: I just was not ready for that at all. The structure,

1002
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 2: the accountability, the talk to me about me. That was

1003
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,239
Speaker 2: his favorite saying. It was like, there's an issue, talk

1004
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 2: to me about me. So he's already molding us for

1005
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 2: marriage exactly, and I'm over here just it's my boyfriend.

1006
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 2: Just happy to have a boyfriend, just happy to have

1007
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 2: someone that want to be committed, but not looking at

1008
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,320
Speaker 2: the bigger picture that this man sees the future with me.

1009
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 2: He wants to be the father to my son, he

1010
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 2: wants me to be his wife one day. And I'm

1011
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: over here, just all over the place, just you know,

1012
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 2: giving pushback on everything that he's trying to build with me.

1013
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,600
Speaker 4: That's good. Yeah, And then what happened. So this year,

1014
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 4: y'all spent the year apart.

1015
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 3: Eighteen yeah, yeah, twenty nineteen, twenty eighteen nineteen, Yeah, we

1016
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:00,720
Speaker 3: broke up, got back together.

1017
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 2: When so we broke we broke up, like because he

1018
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:13,320
Speaker 2: is crazy, I'm so easy whatever. During that time, I

1019
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 2: had moved back home with my mom. I moved back

1020
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 2: home just to kind of I was able to kind

1021
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 2: of grieve because you know, it's like he felt that void.

1022
00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 2: He feeled it when my sister passed away. So it

1023
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 2: was like not a bad distraction, but I was having fun.

1024
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 3: You know.

1025
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,399
Speaker 1: It was like I cried, but then it's like God

1026
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:29,759
Speaker 1: took me.

1027
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,399
Speaker 2: I tried to look at it as a positive, knowing

1028
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 2: that I wasn't ready, but it was like, if it's meant,

1029
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 2: it would come back around, so you tell.

1030
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 3: Me it was a clean break. It wasn't one of

1031
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 3: those breaks.

1032
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 5: So the next day it wasn't like, Okay, let's go

1033
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 5: see each other again, let's go hang out.

1034
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:44,959
Speaker 1: It was clean.

1035
00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:47,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, he had some things that happened with his little brother,

1036
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 2: and he was like he rather, you know, focused on

1037
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 2: that right now, giving.

1038
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 3: Too much energy to yeh.

1039
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 5: And he felt like it wasn't reaping the benefit of

1040
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 5: the reported And then you wasn't second guessing that, you

1041
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,960
Speaker 5: wasn't calling them and text them, Hey, I'm sorry mate,

1042
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:00,600
Speaker 5: if you give me.

1043
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 3: None of that.

1044
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 2: I had them little moments, but I knew it's like

1045
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 2: you wasting this man time. So you knew he wasting

1046
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 2: because it's like everything that he asked, everything that I

1047
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 2: asked of him, he was given to me. And it

1048
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 2: was like I wanted someone to come in to be

1049
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 2: a role model to my son face.

1050
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 3: Don't you do that? Yeah? I do the same.

1051
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,799
Speaker 5: I like what it was like, And that's common though,

1052
00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,680
Speaker 5: it's very very common, and people don't talk about it.

1053
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 5: They they they projected and say you wasn't strong enough

1054
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,319
Speaker 5: for me. Then they'll they'll they'll project it on the man.

1055
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,360
Speaker 5: He like, well, what else am I supposed to do?

1056
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:38,120
Speaker 5: Because at some point then he is devaluing himself if

1057
00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 5: he keeps giving, giving, giving, and you're just pushing, pushing, pushing,

1058
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 5: and I like, now a lot of people will hear

1059
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:47,800
Speaker 5: him say that, and they'll toxify him saying I know

1060
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 5: my worth because that's always been relegated to women feeling

1061
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,279
Speaker 5: like that, but men have value as well. And you

1062
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 5: admittedly said that, No, I was taking them for granted.

1063
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 5: I was kind of pushing them over. I wasn't given.

1064
00:46:59,680 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 3: I was I was.

1065
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:03,759
Speaker 5: I was being difficult for him, and he's he's an

1066
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 5: answered prayer request. But I don't even want that question answered.

1067
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,279
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, And it's like what else

1068
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 3: he supposed to do?

1069
00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 5: Just keep bumping his head And for him to say

1070
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 5: he knew his worth and I know he says as

1071
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,799
Speaker 5: a joke often, but he understands that no, I did

1072
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:16,439
Speaker 5: know my worth.

1073
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 3: That he's going to destroy him in the process.

1074
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 2: And I respected him when he said that, because, like

1075
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 2: you say, it's not coming, you know, man, you just

1076
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,240
Speaker 2: look at a man like you got to be strong.

1077
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 2: You need to take it. You need to take whatever

1078
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 2: we give as a woman, you know. So with him

1079
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 2: standing up for hisself and knowing that his value is

1080
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 2: hired and how I was treating him, I respected him

1081
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 2: for that. It made it's like it made me want

1082
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 2: him even more.

1083
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 3: But it was like, I'm not.

1084
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 2: Ready because he's willing to like go to the end

1085
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:45,240
Speaker 2: with me and I'm not. I'm giving him too much pushback.

1086
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 7: And that's what I was going to ask, is how

1087
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 7: did it all come back together?

1088
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,720
Speaker 2: So, like I said, I took that time to myself

1089
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 2: and Thanksgiving came around and I was I think I

1090
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 2: was at the gym. I was feeling good day. I

1091
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 2: was working out with the train. I said, let me

1092
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 2: take some happy Thanksgiving.

1093
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:07,920
Speaker 3: Man, brother and sister with here. I was out. I'm

1094
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:08,720
Speaker 3: outside again.

1095
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 6: Man.

1096
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. People like me.

1097
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:12,320
Speaker 7: I'm thankful for you.

1098
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 3: People like me man. People they building a life with

1099
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 3: me in their head. And she's just happy Thanksgiving and

1100
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 3: I'm just like, man, I missed you too. But it's

1101
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 3: like I got people that like me.

1102
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 2: Man, and he missed me like you texted up.

1103
00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 3: I can take better than all the Yeah.

1104
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 4: I was like, you know what, come on, come on,

1105
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:36,800
Speaker 4: I'm ready to come on.

1106
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 6: He said me.

1107
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 3: I watched that episode. He said it, Yeah, you got it.

1108
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,360
Speaker 3: I can do it better than all of us. I

1109
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 3: thought about it, thought about it.

1110
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, But a conversation was had. We met back up,

1111
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,239
Speaker 2: and it was like when we met, I felt that.

1112
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 7: How were you feeling when you saw that?

1113
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 3: You were like, man, why are you why? Why? Now?

1114
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 3: Like like I had like the first muths, I was

1115
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,359
Speaker 3: a chilling focused on my little brother and I'm like, okay,

1116
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 3: we got it down. He's a senior in high school.

1117
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 3: I'm a parent again to my little brother. So I'm

1118
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,399
Speaker 3: going to send your fee. I'm doing senior fees. Talking

1119
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 3: to the teachers. He about to graduate. I'm excited. I'm like, okay,

1120
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:13,759
Speaker 3: I got some.

1121
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 6: Time for me.

1122
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 3: Let me, let me go outside. And I'm outside then

1123
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:19,120
Speaker 3: happy thanksgifting. I'm like, man.

1124
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 2: Up.

1125
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 7: I was like, did you respond right way?

1126
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 3: Not right? I did right? I said, hey, I did

1127
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 3: all that.

1128
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 2: Going and little gifts and everything that was.

1129
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 1: He was sending them.

1130
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was happy.

1131
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, come on back home.

1132
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 2: And that.

1133
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 4: Giving together.

1134
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 2: I came over there at the end of things.

1135
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 3: Over the end. Oh yeah, that was the beginning because

1136
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 3: it was bad.

1137
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 4: I was like, you messed up my little Thanksgiving. Eat

1138
00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 4: over there with them, Eat over there with you because.

1139
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 3: I miss you. It don't feel we're eating that hairsh.

1140
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:12,919
Speaker 2: Taking their hand for granted, supposed to be here, I can't.

1141
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 4: I have a confession, everybody. I got a text this

1142
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,759
Speaker 4: morning the food I'm gonna go.

1143
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 3: I'm not there yet.

1144
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 4: What she don't know?

1145
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 3: What I gotta go.

1146
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 4: That was nice to Hamm is good.

1147
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 2: It's funny.

1148
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 5: And so how did so when you reached out to him,

1149
00:50:34,040 --> 00:50:37,320
Speaker 5: were you reaching back out to reconnect or you're just

1150
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 5: trying to check the temperature.

1151
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:40,600
Speaker 3: Both both.

1152
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 2: It was like, let me see where this can go,

1153
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,319
Speaker 2: you know, like let me. It was like the little

1154
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 2: anxious feeling. I'm nervous, like okay, either he gonna ignore

1155
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 2: me or he gonna say something bad. So when I

1156
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 2: saw the little that that died, I was like, oh

1157
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,960
Speaker 2: he about to respond. It kept going away and coming back.

1158
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, think I take back. I thought. I was like, yeah,

1159
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 3: I ain't. Now I'm cool. I'm play hard to get

1160
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 3: taste back. That's what I'm gonna says. I miss you,

1161
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 3: Happy thanks Giving to you too.

1162
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 4: Can From that point, y'all just picked right back up.

1163
00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 2: We had a conversation. It was like a we didn't

1164
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,720
Speaker 2: get right back together. We had to talk about everything

1165
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 2: that happened in twenty eighteen and what we could have

1166
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 2: done differently, what I've could have done differently. So he

1167
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:30,719
Speaker 2: knew that it wasn't an overnight change or anything of

1168
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:33,399
Speaker 2: that nature. Because the thing that I forgot to touch

1169
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:37,879
Speaker 2: on at that time. Day has this thing to where

1170
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 2: he goes mute. So if he don't like something, he

1171
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 2: just won't say nothing. Like if we instead of arguing,

1172
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:47,279
Speaker 2: he just go quiet. And I'm a person at t talk.

1173
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 2: And this was back in twenty eighteen. It was kind

1174
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:51,960
Speaker 2: of like, Okay, is this something I want to deal with.

1175
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 2: It's like he had He's a total package. But if

1176
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 2: it's gonna be the different, breutdown.

1177
00:51:56,120 --> 00:51:58,399
Speaker 3: Because I don't know how to respond in a way

1178
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 3: to where I can explain it. It's like, I'm here

1179
00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 3: and I'm taking care of I'm taking care of your son,

1180
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 3: So I feel like you should listen to what I'm

1181
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,800
Speaker 3: saying and the other outside voices. I'm like, you know what,

1182
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 3: I'm arguing with somebody talking, listening to everybody else.

1183
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 4: I'm not outside the voices influencing you.

1184
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's what he was saying. You know, if

1185
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 2: it's about me, talk to me. And so at this time,

1186
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,319
Speaker 2: I still was talking to other people that had been

1187
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 2: in my life for many, many years. So with him

1188
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:30,359
Speaker 2: being new coming in, I didn't just cut them completely off.

1189
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 2: It was a thing to where if something happened, I'm

1190
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 2: going like, oh, y'all, this happened, Da da da da,

1191
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:36,840
Speaker 2: Oh now ya and he leting him do this, and

1192
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,600
Speaker 2: you know that energy is on me, and instead of

1193
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 2: talking to him, I'm just telling him what I'm gonna do.

1194
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:45,720
Speaker 2: So that's where the disconnect came from. In twenty eighteen

1195
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 2: far as until, like I said, I wasn't allowing him

1196
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 2: to be in a space to be a father to

1197
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:50,919
Speaker 2: my son.

1198
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 5: And then so y'all started talking. Y'all said, this is

1199
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 5: where I went wrong. He said, this is where I

1200
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 5: went wrong. And then or did you think you did

1201
00:52:58,760 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 5: anything wrong?

1202
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,320
Speaker 3: Wasn't? I was. I came in too hot. You know,

1203
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:04,839
Speaker 3: I came in too hot. When I say too hot,

1204
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:06,200
Speaker 3: they was like, look, no, look he needs to go

1205
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 3: to bed at this time. He should have be eating

1206
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 3: in his room. I'm looking. I'm like, we gotta we

1207
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:11,239
Speaker 3: got this cleaning up. Now, we got to fix some

1208
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 3: stuff up. He's too used, too used to this. I

1209
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 3: got to I'm wrong with you, you know. So it's that,

1210
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 3: you know, it's like, you know, I come in there

1211
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,400
Speaker 3: too hot. So the people that are watching this, if

1212
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,879
Speaker 3: you are getting it looked. Had a conversation with the father,

1213
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 3: and y'all talked about it amongst each other. Y'all figure

1214
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 3: it out. That's something I wish we would have did

1215
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 3: about me and the father would have were he talked

1216
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 3: like mutually. But it's not like a look he over here.

1217
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get him right. I'm gonna wanted to set

1218
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 3: the men. I wanted to set. I wanted to set

1219
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 3: the mean I didn't.

1220
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:45,400
Speaker 2: Know how to I didn't know how to do it.

1221
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 2: Like I told you, I was just happy to have

1222
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 2: a boyfriend. So when he was coming with her, Hey,

1223
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:51,200
Speaker 2: you need to set to me. You know what this day,

1224
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 2: I'm like what we got the Yeah? It was it

1225
00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,720
Speaker 2: was nerve breaking for me because I'm like, this is happening,

1226
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 2: like this is about to be my husband because he

1227
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 2: is serious and.

1228
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:09,800
Speaker 3: Why yes, yeah, I came in hot. So when we

1229
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 3: come in in that hot, I was like, yeah, I

1230
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 3: don't want to do that. That's that was So that

1231
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 3: was my fault. That's why I came in and I

1232
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 3: messed up at I could have been a little bit

1233
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:21,120
Speaker 3: more lenient, but I was like, we was tim, he's

1234
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 3: finna be in seventh grade and eighth grade and girls,

1235
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,400
Speaker 3: and he looked meling hisself because this is.

1236
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 4: This is key.

1237
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 5: What did you truly see in him around that same

1238
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:33,760
Speaker 5: age that you saw on yourself.

1239
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 3: He can make anybody feel comfortable in any situation, like

1240
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,080
Speaker 3: any situation. It was one time we went to the

1241
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:44,719
Speaker 3: mall and it was like it was a kid and father.

1242
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 3: They was talking and he just went over there and

1243
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 3: like made a little joke. They will talking about shoes,

1244
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:50,200
Speaker 3: and the boy didn't want word of shoes. And he's like,

1245
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 3: I'm cool. I liked him to it. I'm cool. And

1246
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:54,239
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, he can be a good salesman too.

1247
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 3: I like him, you know. And it was like a conversation.

1248
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 3: And then I just seen how he made everybody laugh

1249
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 3: when he's in the room. He's like me, and it's

1250
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 3: funny because we when we're both in the room, I'm

1251
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 3: the guy and he sometime he might not like that

1252
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 3: and I'll be telling me, go do you I'm gonna

1253
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,960
Speaker 3: be doing. Not jealous, it's just you know, he knows

1254
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 3: that's me. He's like, they do too much. And I

1255
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,360
Speaker 3: was like this me though, and I'm like, this is

1256
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:21,759
Speaker 3: you in your room. I heard you in your room

1257
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 3: yelling you.

1258
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:25,879
Speaker 4: Who could be the food?

1259
00:55:25,960 --> 00:55:28,399
Speaker 3: That's na yeah, no not really.

1260
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 4: And so when you saw him, you literally saw yourself.

1261
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,239
Speaker 3: I saw myself. I saw myself. It was like, but

1262
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 3: he didn't he didn't play basketball. That's what that was

1263
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,320
Speaker 3: my that was my outlet. So music is his outlet.

1264
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 3: And so I was like, you know, we can we

1265
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 3: can we can move that way, we can go that way.

1266
00:55:43,920 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 3: I'm with it. I still want him to hoop because

1267
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 3: I was known for basketball. Yeah, not like you know,

1268
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:51,960
Speaker 3: I could play basketball where I was at.

1269
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 5: So yeah, what were you trying to save him from?

1270
00:55:55,760 --> 00:55:59,240
Speaker 5: What happens from the psychological standpoint is that you're meeting

1271
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 5: the mirrored image of you at that same age, and

1272
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 5: you kept saying stuff throughout this interview that you know,

1273
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:06,879
Speaker 5: I understand what he needs, and I know he don't

1274
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:09,120
Speaker 5: have a lot of time, and he's tending, he's about

1275
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:10,960
Speaker 5: to be this and at eighteen, these women are gonna

1276
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 5: care about you like that no more. So what were

1277
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 5: you trying to save him from that you wish was

1278
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:16,840
Speaker 5: afforded to you during that.

1279
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 3: Same time, I was trying to save him from wanting

1280
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 3: to be liked by everybody, like be yourself. So I

1281
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 3: really like make sure I tell him like I had

1282
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:27,799
Speaker 3: him a plan. I'm like, here here are a plan.

1283
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 3: He said, what's this? You're gonna write stuff down later on?

1284
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 3: Here go a notebook like little little chimes and things

1285
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 3: of that nature. He's not really gonna understand it at

1286
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 3: the moment, like a book or two. I'm like, here

1287
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 3: and read this for they loss about try to read it.

1288
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 3: Try to read it. It's a I just wanted him

1289
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 3: to have a head start, like I started late, and

1290
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 3: I started finding myself at nineteen twenty, getting mentors and

1291
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 3: trusting other men with my knowledge with their knowledge of course.

1292
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,359
Speaker 3: So I was like, I can I can be there.

1293
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:58,840
Speaker 3: I did, Jude, cause it was you.

1294
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 5: Said you played for you play basketball, so it means

1295
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 5: you had a coach. So why did you feel like

1296
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 5: you started late? You start laying what.

1297
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 3: I started laying, l like I could have been a lot,

1298
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:09,320
Speaker 3: a lot better than what I was. Like I was

1299
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 3: okay with just having a car and an apartment in

1300
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,960
Speaker 3: my own play, it was like stride for more, you know.

1301
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 3: So but me being that for my family, it's like

1302
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 3: they got it together. You know, you're the guy now.

1303
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 3: And so I'm telling him, I'm like, you got to

1304
00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 3: go out right now. You can stay home for a

1305
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 3: little bit, but you can do this. You can do that,

1306
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 3: like find out what you like to do instead of

1307
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:31,760
Speaker 3: just coasting and coasting and coasting. Like I didn't know

1308
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:34,200
Speaker 3: I was going to be, you know, a father. To

1309
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 3: remind it was like I just knew I wanted a family,

1310
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 3: so things don't always pan out like you wanted to.

1311
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 4: That's interesting.

1312
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 5: It's interesting for you to feel like you you were

1313
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 5: so late, and when you met her, she felt like

1314
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:48,439
Speaker 5: you had it all together. See what's so interesting something

1315
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:52,080
Speaker 5: from a subconscious standpoint. As man, we try to achieve

1316
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 5: so much. It's like we it's like, what are we

1317
00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 5: competing against? What ghost is it that we're competing against?

1318
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 5: Because thank you Holy Spirit, here it is when you

1319
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,320
Speaker 5: met her she felt unworthy. Here it is you talking

1320
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:10,840
Speaker 5: to him and you confident, but then you say that

1321
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 5: you were behind, so you felt like you didn't have

1322
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:15,800
Speaker 5: it all together. Where she looked at you like, oh

1323
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 5: my god, he's dressed nice, he got a job, he

1324
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 5: got his own car, he looks like he got together.

1325
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 5: And you over here treating a little ten year old

1326
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 5: like he behind, like he like I don't want you

1327
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 5: ended up like I ended up you like you ended

1328
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,160
Speaker 5: up pretty great. You know what I'm saying so much

1329
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 5: to where you made her feel unworthy, And that's why

1330
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 5: I really want to give voice to is that oftentimes,

1331
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 5: as men, we try to perform so much, and you

1332
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:42,560
Speaker 5: already exceeded the odds that were that presented itself like

1333
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 5: you didn't have a father that nurtured you and fathered

1334
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 5: you into who you were. And like you said, you're

1335
00:58:48,840 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 5: liked by everybody. You were enough for everybody. You had

1336
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 5: a selection of women that would have been honored to

1337
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 5: be with you. You met her, the woman who your

1338
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,760
Speaker 5: affinity was towards, and she said that she felt like

1339
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 5: you had it all together, but yet to yourself. You're

1340
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 5: talking to this young version saying that I just want

1341
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 5: you to get it before I got it, And you're saying, yeah,

1342
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,920
Speaker 5: I got my first apartment. Now you probably want him

1343
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 5: to get a house at nineteen. You hear me, Yeah,

1344
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 5: you hear me. I want you to read for the

1345
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:15,919
Speaker 5: Laws of Power. You know what I'm saying.

1346
00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:17,600
Speaker 4: A little ten year old He's like, I don't even

1347
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 4: know what you're talking about.

1348
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 3: I just want to play power Rangers.

1349
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 4: I just want to play with my power Rangers. Youre

1350
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 4: talking about you need to learn this. He like this

1351
00:59:24,320 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 4: is great.

1352
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 5: While that's all great and beautiful, and I recommend to

1353
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:30,480
Speaker 5: keep doing all that, but don't come at it from

1354
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:33,440
Speaker 5: a sense of feeling like you were unworthy or that

1355
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 5: you were late, because you wasn't late you were right

1356
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 5: exactly where you were supposed to be at that apartment

1357
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 5: because you would have never met her had you had

1358
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:40,760
Speaker 5: a house.

1359
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 3: This is true. I mean, I'm with you on that one.

1360
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:47,400
Speaker 3: But it was like when you say with him, I'm

1361
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:50,280
Speaker 3: pushing him. It's like you always want the next generation

1362
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 3: be better. Of course, like you fifteen, I got you

1363
00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 3: on my credit card. You don't know you got good credit,

1364
00:59:55,120 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 3: don't even know what good credit means. I like that,

1365
00:59:57,680 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 3: so I'm doing that. But it's like I want you

1366
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,360
Speaker 3: to understand what I'm preparing you for when I say

1367
01:00:02,400 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 3: here you go, I want you to be prepared for it.

1368
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:05,920
Speaker 3: I don't want you to take over the business and

1369
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 3: you're not ready.

1370
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 4: Absolutely.

1371
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:10,160
Speaker 5: I just don't want you ever feeling like you was behind,

1372
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:13,240
Speaker 5: because you wasn't it. It's like, what does behind? What

1373
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 5: are we looking at? Are we comparing it to somebody

1374
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 5: else that may have gotten this at this time? Or

1375
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 5: is everything that I looked at in my life? They say,

1376
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:23,920
Speaker 5: hindsight is twenty twenty. When I look back and then

1377
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 5: moments where I felt like I was behind, I was

1378
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 5: right on time. When the Bible says, for I know

1379
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 5: all things work together for the good them that love

1380
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 5: God and to the called the cord to his purpose.

1381
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:36,840
Speaker 5: Weakned can feel like, oh, I'm unworthy. I'm twenty five

1382
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 5: years old, I got a child. You know, I got

1383
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,600
Speaker 5: twenty dollars in my bank account. And God says, that's

1384
01:00:41,720 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 5: just right now. I need you right there so you

1385
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 5: can appreciate I need He needed that conversation to take

1386
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:50,919
Speaker 5: place when y'all had that conversation about the twenty dollars

1387
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 5: in the bank account, so that she'll never see a

1388
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 5: moment with twenty dollars in a bank account again, and

1389
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 5: then she sees the value of what you bring into

1390
01:00:57,280 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 5: her life. Those conversations are necessary. That conversation never was

1391
01:01:01,120 --> 01:01:03,720
Speaker 5: that if she met you and in that moment she

1392
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 5: had twenty thousand dollars in a bank account, and she

1393
01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 5: felt like y'all got together, and you like you got together.

1394
01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 5: Who's the same y'all even made it. It was through

1395
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 5: that trials. It was through that that those tribulations that

1396
01:01:15,200 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 5: y'all went through that separation. Something that she said that

1397
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,600
Speaker 5: was key is that through that process of y'all separation,

1398
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:25,040
Speaker 5: she finally went through the healing phase of the loss

1399
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 5: of her her sister. You know what I'm saying, And

1400
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 5: when I hear that, I'd be like, why didn't she

1401
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,880
Speaker 5: go through that while y'all were dealing with each other

1402
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 5: because that relationship began to be some the symbolans of

1403
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 5: a distraction from her own healing that she had to

1404
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:39,840
Speaker 5: go through. That's the reason why I love how God

1405
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 5: operates and orchestrates things because it brought y'all all to

1406
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 5: that moment. And so after that year took place, y'all

1407
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,520
Speaker 5: had Thanksgiving dinner, y'all had that real conversation I Thanksgiving dinner,

1408
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 5: but that text happened on Thanksgiving and y'all had this

1409
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 5: conversation about this is where I went wrong, this is

1410
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:56,760
Speaker 5: where I went wrong.

1411
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:57,959
Speaker 3: Then how did.

1412
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:01,560
Speaker 5: Y'all rekindle and say, let's get in the committed relationship again?

1413
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 4: COVID?

1414
01:02:03,400 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, COVID happened. Yeah, COVID happened, And it was like we.

1415
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 2: He just had to say.

1416
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 3: Something about, got you serious, dude? Just make people cry?

1417
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 2: I can't that, No, but COVID did happen. Like we

1418
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:28,280
Speaker 2: after twenty nineteen, we were still like talking through everything.

1419
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 2: In uh twenty twenty, it just was like, you know,

1420
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 2: let's let's do it again. Let's I mean, you're not

1421
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:36,640
Speaker 2: talking to nobody. I'm not talking to nobody.

1422
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:39,840
Speaker 3: List She got her own place in a luxury apartment.

1423
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:41,760
Speaker 4: Got a luxury too, did she luxury? Now?

1424
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:43,080
Speaker 3: She up? Go ahead.

1425
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 1: I was like, come over here, and so you can

1426
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 1: see this apartment that I got.

1427
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 3: I said, okay, I'm not sure because she came to

1428
01:02:52,640 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 3: my eleuxury apartment. She talked about me white applying. Just

1429
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 3: look because you had to up, girl, you got to

1430
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 3: pay a little bit more. They kicked them out. She

1431
01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 3: had staying to steel.

1432
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 5: She was.

1433
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 4: Got this white appliance, white appliance.

1434
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:10,960
Speaker 3: She only wanted to say it that everybody, this is

1435
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 3: nice white. I don't know this ain't nobody.

1436
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 6: Gonna be here.

1437
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,160
Speaker 5: So so now y'all you saw a place. Now, what happened?

1438
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 5: What made y'all reconnect? And to say, so y'all covid

1439
01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 5: y'all spend a lot of time together?

1440
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:36,000
Speaker 3: Right Because I was about to get an apartment. My

1441
01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,280
Speaker 3: brother had graduated. He was gonna go off, and I

1442
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,080
Speaker 3: was like, okay, it's just me now, like I forget

1443
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 3: the one bedroom, all right? And then I was always

1444
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:46,040
Speaker 3: over there. I was like, you know, I can't stay here.

1445
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:49,200
Speaker 3: And when I said that, When I said that, I

1446
01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 3: was like, I can stay here, and then she just

1447
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 3: felt some type of way, you just you need some

1448
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 3: place to stay. I was like, I got my own money.

1449
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:57,760
Speaker 3: Can I can do this? You know, I can do

1450
01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 3: this now. But it just I was like, I don't

1451
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:02,000
Speaker 3: want to waste No, I do want to waste time

1452
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:03,800
Speaker 3: and money over here, and I'm over here, you know.

1453
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:06,080
Speaker 3: So I was like, yeah, she thought I was trying

1454
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:07,360
Speaker 3: to find a place to stay there the COVID.

1455
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 7: I was like, wow, that was trying to get her

1456
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:10,320
Speaker 7: twenty dollars.

1457
01:04:10,400 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 2: Ye, right, that was just my mindset. I felt like

1458
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:14,560
Speaker 2: somebody was always trying to get something. It was like,

1459
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:17,200
Speaker 2: what you want from me, just like when he came in,

1460
01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 2: what you want from what you want from me? So, yeah,

1461
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:21,560
Speaker 2: I feel like I was on top of a little bit.

1462
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 4: What you Yeah, so you let her move in?

1463
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1464
01:04:26,080 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 4: How did you feel about that?

1465
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 1: It was just kind of like are we what we doing?

1466
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 2: Like are we really about to do this again? Do

1467
01:04:34,280 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 2: you still feel the same way you felt when we

1468
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 2: broke up? Like where is this going to go now?

1469
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 3: That way, when when you say was moving in, why

1470
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:43,880
Speaker 3: was you moving it? Was was about pick up where

1471
01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:46,200
Speaker 3: we left off. Come on bank account still the joint

1472
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:49,520
Speaker 3: account still active. We still it's still active. It was

1473
01:04:49,560 --> 01:04:53,200
Speaker 3: still active, but it wasn't like, yeah, we wasn't putting

1474
01:04:53,200 --> 01:04:54,919
Speaker 3: money in there. And then when we had our money

1475
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:56,880
Speaker 3: together and we broke up, straight down the middle, boom,

1476
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:58,640
Speaker 3: it was like you got that. I got that. I

1477
01:04:58,680 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 3: didn't want to put more. Yeah, I don't want to

1478
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 3: put more in this is I'm like, no, straight down

1479
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:05,440
Speaker 3: the middle, you got yours like I'm like getting divorced. Listen.

1480
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 3: I wanted to make sure she didn't say nothing wrong.

1481
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:09,640
Speaker 3: He took this you can have You didn't even put

1482
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 3: out this end, but you.

1483
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 4: Can have it.

1484
01:05:11,160 --> 01:05:12,600
Speaker 3: You can have it. You know what I'm saying.

1485
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 5: You can.

1486
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:18,880
Speaker 3: I want you to listen. I used to this. I

1487
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 3: used to pay her every Friday. I had set up

1488
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:23,640
Speaker 3: to where she gets like two hundred dollars a week.

1489
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 3: You could just do whatever you want to. This is

1490
01:05:25,960 --> 01:05:30,560
Speaker 3: like twenties eighteen. This is before the tariffs and all that.

1491
01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:33,760
Speaker 3: You could two you can go crazy to you go grazy.

1492
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,040
Speaker 3: You can do it. You could ball out with two hondred.

1493
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,680
Speaker 3: But I want every Friday. She was looking for that

1494
01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:40,880
Speaker 3: two hundred. I was like, we got all the other bills,

1495
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:42,400
Speaker 3: pay what are you paying for? What are you doing?

1496
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 3: I like to buy this, this, this, and I'm like,

1497
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 3: you know what? All right? This is so I had

1498
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:48,880
Speaker 3: to pay her to make sure we had money in

1499
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:51,120
Speaker 3: the account so we can have a joint account. I

1500
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:53,680
Speaker 3: was like, does this make you feel comfortable with this?

1501
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:57,400
Speaker 3: With this saving so this makes how much gonna make

1502
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:03,320
Speaker 3: you feel? All right? Gn we could do it? But yeah,

1503
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,360
Speaker 3: that that was fun. That was a fun time.

1504
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:09,080
Speaker 4: I was like, y'all had y'all have a divorce.

1505
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 3: We split it down the middle, and I was like,

1506
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:12,960
Speaker 3: all right. So when we got back together, it was

1507
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:14,920
Speaker 3: still acting, like look we pick up we left off.

1508
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:16,120
Speaker 3: Just keep it going.

1509
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,240
Speaker 2: Trying to the bank account gave me the reassurance that

1510
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,080
Speaker 2: we're gonna get back together one day because it was

1511
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:23,760
Speaker 2: still acting. We could both see the account when we

1512
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:26,320
Speaker 2: log into the bank. I was like, get the count

1513
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,160
Speaker 2: still on here? We getting back together one day?

1514
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:30,240
Speaker 4: So you still felt you still felt the connection?

1515
01:06:30,360 --> 01:06:30,520
Speaker 3: Then?

1516
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:31,760
Speaker 1: I did, I really did.

1517
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 2: I was like, this is just temporary. I felt it

1518
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 2: was just temporary. I was like, that's gonna be my husband,

1519
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:38,200
Speaker 2: weren't dating other people.

1520
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:41,880
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I tried other.

1521
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 3: People when yeah, I would said again, say y'all outside.

1522
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 2: It wasn't dating with.

1523
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:52,880
Speaker 4: Purpose purpose, it was I was just I'm grieving.

1524
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 3: You know this relationship.

1525
01:06:57,560 --> 01:06:58,560
Speaker 2: I believe.

1526
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:01,080
Speaker 4: Your grieving. I was grieving.

1527
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:02,880
Speaker 3: I was like, my past relationship didn't work. You know,

1528
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:05,080
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to go outside. I got a son,

1529
01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:08,960
Speaker 3: now got my brother, my brother. I'm reaching out toys

1530
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:11,800
Speaker 3: to check on. I'm like, how you doing. And it's like, man,

1531
01:07:11,880 --> 01:07:14,320
Speaker 3: you're not even you don't even mind for real, and

1532
01:07:14,400 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 3: I just feel weird. What if we don't get back together?

1533
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:17,760
Speaker 3: And I'm just reaching out. I'm like, I'm not a

1534
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 3: big brother. Now that's cool, it's it, But I love it.

1535
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:21,520
Speaker 4: Boy.

1536
01:07:21,560 --> 01:07:22,800
Speaker 3: I was like, I was just checking on. I'm like,

1537
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:24,520
Speaker 3: you're good, Like I'm good. I was all right, there

1538
01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:24,720
Speaker 3: we go.

1539
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:25,880
Speaker 4: You'll reach out to him.

1540
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:27,800
Speaker 2: She would never know, she would never know I had

1541
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,480
Speaker 2: talk and tell me my son did never tell me

1542
01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 2: really now even make me cry.

1543
01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:34,280
Speaker 4: I ain't sitting on yellow couch.

1544
01:07:35,400 --> 01:07:37,919
Speaker 3: That my boy. Man, that's my boy.

1545
01:07:39,080 --> 01:07:41,480
Speaker 5: So then now y'all living together? And then what did

1546
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:43,040
Speaker 5: your mama say? There you go shacking up?

1547
01:07:43,120 --> 01:07:46,000
Speaker 3: You no No, she didn't. She didn't say that. She

1548
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:47,560
Speaker 3: didn't say, there you go checking her. She was like,

1549
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 3: I knew y'all gonna get back together because she saw

1550
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:53,240
Speaker 3: how I was, how I was with her. She saw

1551
01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 3: a different side of me. I wasn't like I was joking,

1552
01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:58,360
Speaker 3: but I was. I was straightforward, like when I didn't

1553
01:07:58,360 --> 01:08:00,680
Speaker 3: have nobody to be responsible for. Oh well, I'm playing

1554
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 3: all the time. I'm out. What's a good time. It's

1555
01:08:03,280 --> 01:08:03,760
Speaker 3: a good time.

1556
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:04,280
Speaker 5: The church.

1557
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:06,840
Speaker 3: Church loved to see me. Come, sister, say you got

1558
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:08,600
Speaker 3: to slip off out?

1559
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:09,600
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1560
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 3: Now, how you doing? How you doing? I can't embarrass her.

1561
01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:14,160
Speaker 3: I can't embarrass this one.

1562
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:18,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, right, yes, how y'all doing?

1563
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:20,320
Speaker 4: We act like a husband?

1564
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:21,200
Speaker 3: Come on now?

1565
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:22,639
Speaker 4: And so then y'all get together?

1566
01:08:22,720 --> 01:08:23,040
Speaker 3: What mon?

1567
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:24,960
Speaker 4: When did y'all make it official again? Or did it

1568
01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:25,760
Speaker 4: just kind of just flow?

1569
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:26,840
Speaker 3: It just flows fun.

1570
01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:29,800
Speaker 2: It was like March honestly, March of twenty twenty is

1571
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:31,920
Speaker 2: what I can remember that we that's right now?

1572
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:35,439
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, when COVID just really not yeah, it's like yeah,

1573
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:38,519
Speaker 5: and then and then when did you did y'all start

1574
01:08:38,560 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 5: having conversations about marriage and proposal or did you just

1575
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:43,920
Speaker 5: did you propose to her?

1576
01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:45,760
Speaker 4: Yes? How long did you wait?

1577
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:47,320
Speaker 3: March?

1578
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:48,439
Speaker 4: She said, y'all got together.

1579
01:08:48,760 --> 01:08:50,920
Speaker 3: We we got engaged the next year.

1580
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:52,920
Speaker 2: My birthday next year.

1581
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:53,439
Speaker 4: What's your birthday?

1582
01:08:54,680 --> 01:08:55,120
Speaker 2: Twenty one?

1583
01:08:55,280 --> 01:08:59,120
Speaker 5: So June twelfth, y'all get engaged. Did y'all talk about it?

1584
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 5: Was it a whole surprise us?

1585
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,519
Speaker 2: It was a surprise. So she did know my birthdays?

1586
01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:06,400
Speaker 2: His birthday June fifth, and I'm June both geminis. How

1587
01:09:06,600 --> 01:09:07,719
Speaker 2: crazy is that fifth?

1588
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:08,400
Speaker 4: June twelfth?

1589
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:08,800
Speaker 2: Yes?

1590
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:11,080
Speaker 5: And then so you didn't y'all it was a total

1591
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:13,280
Speaker 5: surprise that you know that he was going to propose

1592
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:14,880
Speaker 5: that year at all or just no?

1593
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:15,920
Speaker 2: I didn't know, man.

1594
01:09:15,960 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 3: She thought it was just a little birthday.

1595
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:18,840
Speaker 1: We were having a birthday play together.

1596
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,160
Speaker 3: She we always celebrate our birthday together. She made like

1597
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:24,200
Speaker 3: tick time, I mean like a snapschot feelters. I had

1598
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 3: to do nothing, Brent ring, That's all I had.

1599
01:09:26,280 --> 01:09:26,640
Speaker 6: We had it.

1600
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:29,599
Speaker 3: It was at a nice little steakhouse restaurant. It was beautiful.

1601
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:31,080
Speaker 3: I was like, if I want to do this, it

1602
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:33,000
Speaker 3: would have not been It.

1603
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:37,559
Speaker 1: Would with both of my faces face excited.

1604
01:09:37,720 --> 01:09:39,080
Speaker 3: I didn't get to eat the cake, you know. I

1605
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 3: was like, man, this is beautiful.

1606
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:42,880
Speaker 2: I was excited. That was like, it was the first

1607
01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:46,120
Speaker 2: time my friends came all together, my friends and his friends,

1608
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:49,320
Speaker 2: like for our birthday celebration. So I was excited. I

1609
01:09:49,479 --> 01:09:52,160
Speaker 2: was getting candy boys made with our pictures on it.

1610
01:09:52,560 --> 01:09:55,360
Speaker 2: And then we was dressed coordinated and he get down

1611
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:57,320
Speaker 2: on one knee and it just felt like a dream.

1612
01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:58,639
Speaker 2: I just hear.

1613
01:09:59,280 --> 01:10:01,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was me back to that moment that was.

1614
01:10:01,600 --> 01:10:03,679
Speaker 3: I just brought the ring. I was like, that's beautiful.

1615
01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:07,000
Speaker 3: Establishment this is amazing. I don't be honest, it's perfect.

1616
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1617
01:10:07,479 --> 01:10:10,120
Speaker 3: I was like candy balls with my face on it, said,

1618
01:10:10,120 --> 01:10:10,960
Speaker 3: I would have never did that.

1619
01:10:11,680 --> 01:10:12,479
Speaker 4: What you tell about it?

1620
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:14,720
Speaker 3: I told, well, my brothers knew, my brother's knew, and

1621
01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:17,400
Speaker 3: then her, one of her friends knew. I just told

1622
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:19,080
Speaker 3: one of them. I was like, look, I'm trusting you

1623
01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:25,240
Speaker 3: with this mad you know her accountability people, her parents,

1624
01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 3: and I talked to her mom and dad and that

1625
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:30,200
Speaker 3: was the first thing. I was like, I'm gonna marry

1626
01:10:30,200 --> 01:10:32,200
Speaker 3: your daughter. He was like, you you like to take

1627
01:10:32,240 --> 01:10:34,360
Speaker 3: care of them, and then you knew it was all right,

1628
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:37,680
Speaker 3: your sir, take care. I was like, all right, I

1629
01:10:37,760 --> 01:10:39,479
Speaker 3: got a daughter now, but that's it. To take care

1630
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:42,320
Speaker 3: of it. I want a little bit more than that. Now,

1631
01:10:42,840 --> 01:10:45,800
Speaker 3: you just make sure my baby is mentally.

1632
01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:51,680
Speaker 2: He was going to do the mother take care of.

1633
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:55,280
Speaker 3: Don't take care of them. Put your hands on another.

1634
01:10:57,000 --> 01:11:01,960
Speaker 4: We're good and so total shot total. What did that feel?

1635
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 5: How did that feel to you, Whitney, to know that

1636
01:11:05,520 --> 01:11:08,439
Speaker 5: there was a season where you felt unworthy? You felt

1637
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,679
Speaker 5: like here, I am a mother of a single mother

1638
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 5: and didn't even see marriage in your horizon. You just

1639
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:16,560
Speaker 5: saw boyfriends. That's the ceiling for you.

1640
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:18,519
Speaker 4: As long as he be my boyfriend, that's enough.

1641
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:22,320
Speaker 2: How did that feel when he proposed it was a shock.

1642
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:25,479
Speaker 2: I just I don't know, it felt like a dream. Honestly,

1643
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:29,120
Speaker 2: it was just kind of like really like me, you know,

1644
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:31,120
Speaker 2: It's just like I can't even explain it.

1645
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:32,240
Speaker 1: It was a crime moment.

1646
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:35,960
Speaker 2: My friends went to the bathroom and I'm looking in

1647
01:11:36,040 --> 01:11:36,960
Speaker 2: the mirror, looking at the.

1648
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:39,360
Speaker 1: Ring, and I'm like, y'all, this is really happening.

1649
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:43,120
Speaker 2: This is like this man chose me, like he wants

1650
01:11:43,200 --> 01:11:46,559
Speaker 2: to marry me, and I'm just ugly crying and everything.

1651
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:50,679
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was a moment of just like a dream.

1652
01:11:51,080 --> 01:11:52,120
Speaker 1: It really felt like a dream.

1653
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:55,479
Speaker 5: I let me ask you because it was a dream

1654
01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:57,920
Speaker 5: for you. You said, as a young boy, you've always

1655
01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:00,280
Speaker 5: desired marriage. You always want to be a husban man.

1656
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:03,680
Speaker 5: You always want to build a family. You always want

1657
01:12:03,760 --> 01:12:07,000
Speaker 5: to give yourself what wasn't given to you. How did

1658
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:07,519
Speaker 5: that feel to you?

1659
01:12:07,800 --> 01:12:08,000
Speaker 6: Man?

1660
01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:11,160
Speaker 3: It was I was anxious. I had that ring in

1661
01:12:11,240 --> 01:12:13,360
Speaker 3: my pocket for like four hours. I'm just ready to

1662
01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:15,280
Speaker 3: give it to it. Man, can we just hurry up? Please?

1663
01:12:15,640 --> 01:12:17,120
Speaker 3: I don't even know what I'm gonna save for real,

1664
01:12:17,160 --> 01:12:18,880
Speaker 3: I'm gonna know what i'm gonna say, but I'm just yeah,

1665
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:21,320
Speaker 3: let's do it. But when I proposed and she said yes,

1666
01:12:21,400 --> 01:12:24,760
Speaker 3: it was like, okay, it's it's it's starting. It's beginning now,

1667
01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:27,200
Speaker 3: this is the beginning. It's not like the end. It's okay,

1668
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:29,519
Speaker 3: it's only begun. And when we got home, she was like,

1669
01:12:29,840 --> 01:12:31,519
Speaker 3: what's the date to get you want to get married?

1670
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:32,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, we just got engaged.

1671
01:12:33,040 --> 01:12:35,439
Speaker 1: Chill, chill, y'all.

1672
01:12:36,600 --> 01:12:38,960
Speaker 4: I said, yes, hear, you're talking about chill. He the

1673
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:39,920
Speaker 4: one that always moving fast.

1674
01:12:40,880 --> 01:12:43,280
Speaker 3: Because I'm like, because she never wanted to win, and

1675
01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:45,280
Speaker 3: I don't know what type of look we go to there.

1676
01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:53,639
Speaker 2: You want to save money, I've never even imagined being married,

1677
01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:57,320
Speaker 2: So when it happened, it was like, Okay, I'm in

1678
01:12:57,400 --> 01:12:59,800
Speaker 2: a moment where all the other women being where they're

1679
01:12:59,800 --> 01:13:02,320
Speaker 2: going to want to go look at venues and dresses,

1680
01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:05,280
Speaker 2: and this something that I've never dreamed of for myself.

1681
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:10,320
Speaker 2: So in that moment, just looking at the venues and

1682
01:13:10,640 --> 01:13:13,040
Speaker 2: just thinking about this is gonna be me walking down

1683
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:16,800
Speaker 2: this asl this man chose me for this moment, and

1684
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:21,960
Speaker 2: me looking back in twenty fourteen, still fooding around with

1685
01:13:22,040 --> 01:13:24,439
Speaker 2: my son's father, not knowing my worth at that time.

1686
01:13:24,680 --> 01:13:28,040
Speaker 2: It was just like a I can't even explain the feeling.

1687
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:32,400
Speaker 2: It just was a lot. I just didn't know why

1688
01:13:32,479 --> 01:13:34,479
Speaker 2: he chose me. It was still in that moment, like

1689
01:13:34,600 --> 01:13:38,479
Speaker 2: why you chose me? But it's happening now, so it

1690
01:13:38,520 --> 01:13:39,320
Speaker 2: ain't no going back.

1691
01:13:39,439 --> 01:13:41,240
Speaker 5: So you want a courthouse wedding or that you want

1692
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:44,240
Speaker 5: a wedding, I wanted a wedding. So after you went

1693
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:46,600
Speaker 5: from I don't even believe I ever get married to

1694
01:13:46,720 --> 01:13:48,600
Speaker 5: I want a wedding, I talk about it.

1695
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:49,120
Speaker 4: Talk about it.

1696
01:13:49,360 --> 01:13:51,560
Speaker 2: It happened so fast. It was like this man is

1697
01:13:51,640 --> 01:13:54,640
Speaker 2: just giving me everything I want. Now Yeah, now I

1698
01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:57,200
Speaker 2: want a wedding. Put this ring on my finger. Now

1699
01:13:57,200 --> 01:14:00,760
Speaker 2: I want a wedding. So we're driving a venue. He like,

1700
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:03,200
Speaker 2: just sitting over there, just I'm like, you're gonna be

1701
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:05,160
Speaker 2: going to these about forty five minutes away. He said,

1702
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:07,320
Speaker 2: do you really want everybody to driving forty five minutes away?

1703
01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:09,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, it don't matter. We about to go over that.

1704
01:14:09,640 --> 01:14:12,240
Speaker 2: So we went to the venuees and we ended up

1705
01:14:12,320 --> 01:14:17,320
Speaker 2: choosing one and this moment right here, so the wedding,

1706
01:14:17,560 --> 01:14:19,960
Speaker 2: I recommend people to just go to the courthouse. After

1707
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,040
Speaker 2: that wedding, it was.

1708
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:26,080
Speaker 1: It was a lot for me because that was a

1709
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:27,360
Speaker 1: day for everybody else.

1710
01:14:28,479 --> 01:14:33,679
Speaker 2: The energy wasn't good us doing social media at that time.

1711
01:14:34,600 --> 01:14:37,400
Speaker 2: We didn't hire anybody to do videos of our wedding.

1712
01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:40,000
Speaker 2: It was just supposed to be, you know, our pictures,

1713
01:14:40,040 --> 01:14:44,880
Speaker 2: our videos. But one of my bridesmaids were, you know,

1714
01:14:45,160 --> 01:14:47,760
Speaker 2: saying something to me or whatever, you know, when they

1715
01:14:47,800 --> 01:14:51,280
Speaker 2: do the speech and then people was recording and then

1716
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:54,120
Speaker 2: I hear someone to I didn't know who said it,

1717
01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:55,679
Speaker 2: but someone sent the video.

1718
01:14:55,760 --> 01:14:56,960
Speaker 1: It was like is she fake crying?

1719
01:14:57,760 --> 01:15:00,200
Speaker 2: And it just hurt my It hurt me because it

1720
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:02,439
Speaker 2: was like I've never known I was going to be

1721
01:15:02,520 --> 01:15:05,000
Speaker 2: in this moment in my life and to hear somebody

1722
01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:09,840
Speaker 2: say that on my day just really just took me down.

1723
01:15:10,479 --> 01:15:12,560
Speaker 5: So I'm talking about somebody in the audience. Somebody that

1724
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,599
Speaker 5: audience said that, Yeah, one.

1725
01:15:14,439 --> 01:15:15,719
Speaker 4: Of the guests.

1726
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:20,000
Speaker 2: Yeah guess so yeah, I said, was it.

1727
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:22,680
Speaker 5: On social media that you posted and somebody says that

1728
01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:25,559
Speaker 5: you're saying somebody actually in the yes.

1729
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:28,960
Speaker 2: So that's why I tell people, I'm like, I wish

1730
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:30,680
Speaker 2: I would have just did a courthouse well or went

1731
01:15:30,720 --> 01:15:33,479
Speaker 2: out of town, eloped or something like that, because I

1732
01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:37,080
Speaker 2: feel like I rushed to get into a venue when

1733
01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:38,880
Speaker 2: I could have just took my time to say, Hey,

1734
01:15:38,960 --> 01:15:40,920
Speaker 2: let's go to the courthouse. This is just for me

1735
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:43,400
Speaker 2: and you or you know, the people that really love

1736
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:45,840
Speaker 2: us and you know, want to celebrate our union. We

1737
01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:47,840
Speaker 2: can go out and you know, they can come out

1738
01:15:47,880 --> 01:15:49,200
Speaker 2: to wherever we have our wedding at.

1739
01:15:49,280 --> 01:15:52,320
Speaker 5: So was that the only moment that robbed that was

1740
01:15:52,760 --> 01:15:56,519
Speaker 5: was that guest moment robbed you of that feeling like

1741
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:58,640
Speaker 5: you wanted to have a wedding or was it like

1742
01:15:58,800 --> 01:15:59,439
Speaker 5: the whole thing.

1743
01:15:59,400 --> 01:16:02,200
Speaker 2: Around it me being nervous too? Like like I told

1744
01:16:02,280 --> 01:16:04,719
Speaker 2: that before, I'm always nervous and ancient. So of course

1745
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:06,800
Speaker 2: it was like I couldn't enjoy the moment because of

1746
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:10,479
Speaker 2: how I feel internally, and it was just like I

1747
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:12,519
Speaker 2: just should have did a courthouse with him, but I

1748
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:14,760
Speaker 2: didn't want to rib him of that moment because it's

1749
01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:16,000
Speaker 2: something that he had been wanting.

1750
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:16,720
Speaker 5: What did you want?

1751
01:16:16,840 --> 01:16:24,080
Speaker 3: Man to the crowd? Man, you know my money? I

1752
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:27,360
Speaker 3: was like, how much we been? Man, you didn't even

1753
01:16:27,439 --> 01:16:27,760
Speaker 3: want this?

1754
01:16:28,240 --> 01:16:30,720
Speaker 7: You want a marriage, but you didn't even all right,

1755
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,440
Speaker 7: all right, man, you can't.

1756
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:42,400
Speaker 3: Bank account. It was a beautiful It was beautiful.

1757
01:16:42,640 --> 01:16:45,360
Speaker 2: It was beautiful. It was beautiful. But yeah, but he

1758
01:16:45,439 --> 01:16:46,120
Speaker 2: could have, you know.

1759
01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:49,479
Speaker 3: But now I was like, because when we got engaged,

1760
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:51,160
Speaker 3: it was like I was like, we can out like

1761
01:16:51,200 --> 01:16:52,880
Speaker 3: a little you know, little heat and I look up

1762
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:55,559
Speaker 3: she owned she said, let me tiktoks and bet I.

1763
01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:56,080
Speaker 2: Was like what what?

1764
01:16:56,920 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 1: I was excited, y'all, Like I've never imagined that moment.

1765
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:02,720
Speaker 8: But I do feel like there's this tension because like

1766
01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:05,960
Speaker 8: society tells you what it should be and women, and

1767
01:17:06,120 --> 01:17:08,240
Speaker 8: then you have your moment and then you have to

1768
01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:11,880
Speaker 8: like really wrestle with what you want to do and

1769
01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:15,280
Speaker 8: then what everyone else because there's so many competing voices.

1770
01:17:15,760 --> 01:17:19,240
Speaker 7: So I understand that because you're like, oh my gosh,

1771
01:17:19,320 --> 01:17:21,439
Speaker 7: did all your friends, your mama, your auntie.

1772
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:23,240
Speaker 1: You're like, oh my gosh, we need to do this.

1773
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:25,800
Speaker 8: It was a love yeah, and so trying to hear

1774
01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:29,400
Speaker 8: your own voice and that can feel really overwhelming. So

1775
01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:33,000
Speaker 8: I understand like that hindsight being like, this is what

1776
01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:36,080
Speaker 8: I wanted to do, and then the moment took over

1777
01:17:36,320 --> 01:17:38,439
Speaker 8: and then you got that, So like, I get that.

1778
01:17:38,640 --> 01:17:40,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a lot. I get that it was

1779
01:17:40,439 --> 01:17:41,240
Speaker 1: a happy moment.

1780
01:17:41,439 --> 01:17:46,760
Speaker 3: I get that you can't go for the honeymoon. She

1781
01:17:46,840 --> 01:17:49,600
Speaker 3: was I cannot believe you ain't the missing my honeymoon.

1782
01:17:49,200 --> 01:17:53,560
Speaker 2: Now exact, I think that's when he really got to

1783
01:17:53,680 --> 01:17:57,280
Speaker 2: know me, because he been knowing me, but he didn't

1784
01:17:57,320 --> 01:18:00,240
Speaker 2: know how much of an overthinker I was. When that

1785
01:18:00,360 --> 01:18:02,200
Speaker 2: moment happened at the wedding, it was just like I

1786
01:18:02,240 --> 01:18:03,000
Speaker 2: couldn't get over it.

1787
01:18:03,080 --> 01:18:04,080
Speaker 1: It was like I just can't get out.

1788
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:08,320
Speaker 2: He was like, Whitney, we're married, We're in honeymoon, beautiful resort,

1789
01:18:08,439 --> 01:18:09,280
Speaker 2: cant com.

1790
01:18:09,400 --> 01:18:17,080
Speaker 3: What are you doing? Did y'all go right after y'all

1791
01:18:17,080 --> 01:18:17,360
Speaker 3: got there?

1792
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:19,479
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1793
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:20,439
Speaker 4: Complain.

1794
01:18:21,439 --> 01:18:22,000
Speaker 1: I was complaining.

1795
01:18:22,240 --> 01:18:26,040
Speaker 8: And I'm an overthinker as well. And my husband he's

1796
01:18:26,120 --> 01:18:27,559
Speaker 8: really good at that too. He'll be like, what are

1797
01:18:27,600 --> 01:18:29,920
Speaker 8: you ever thinking for? Like, nobody else is thinking about

1798
01:18:29,920 --> 01:18:32,280
Speaker 8: this at this point. You're the only way thinking about this.

1799
01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,080
Speaker 8: Else has moved on.

1800
01:18:34,160 --> 01:18:37,760
Speaker 7: With their lives. So look, God got us because how.

1801
01:18:40,920 --> 01:18:42,519
Speaker 2: Exactly everything?

1802
01:18:43,120 --> 01:18:44,960
Speaker 7: So honest, no one else.

1803
01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:49,240
Speaker 3: Is exactly look at me. Nobody cares. Nobody.

1804
01:18:49,439 --> 01:18:54,160
Speaker 2: No, I'm learning it. Okay, I'm learning the whole.

1805
01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:56,200
Speaker 4: Honey, you're worried about a comment?

1806
01:18:56,520 --> 01:18:58,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, don't make sense.

1807
01:18:58,640 --> 01:19:01,240
Speaker 4: So it's it's cool. How y'all have to balance each

1808
01:19:01,280 --> 01:19:04,000
Speaker 4: other out. What do you believe that marriage.

1809
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:08,840
Speaker 5: Gave y'all that y'all's dating relationship and even y'all's cohabitation

1810
01:19:09,920 --> 01:19:12,200
Speaker 5: relationship y'all had didn't bring into your life?

1811
01:19:13,360 --> 01:19:17,280
Speaker 2: Hmmm, it's y'all could just stayed.

1812
01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:21,599
Speaker 5: As old folks say, shacking up, living together, boyfriend and girlfriend.

1813
01:19:21,680 --> 01:19:24,599
Speaker 3: No, that wasn't gonna go with me. I want I won't.

1814
01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:27,160
Speaker 3: Now you gotta have my last name. Yeah, that's that's

1815
01:19:27,280 --> 01:19:29,560
Speaker 3: just that's just me. That's how it was brought up, like,

1816
01:19:29,680 --> 01:19:31,760
Speaker 3: and that's that's what I wanted. And so that's what

1817
01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:34,679
Speaker 3: I've seen in movies, my mentors. You need in church,

1818
01:19:34,800 --> 01:19:38,240
Speaker 3: you know, you see sister and brother and they they coordinated,

1819
01:19:38,280 --> 01:19:40,519
Speaker 3: they together. He opened up a dull off, right.

1820
01:19:40,720 --> 01:19:43,080
Speaker 5: I want that, you know sometimes they have that. Like

1821
01:19:43,160 --> 01:19:45,280
Speaker 5: you said, stay old lady. They've just been together for

1822
01:19:45,360 --> 01:19:45,840
Speaker 5: twenty years.

1823
01:19:45,880 --> 01:19:46,320
Speaker 3: It's true.

1824
01:19:46,479 --> 01:19:48,720
Speaker 4: So what did you why did you value that?

1825
01:19:48,920 --> 01:19:51,600
Speaker 5: You're saying some key things as a man when you

1826
01:19:51,720 --> 01:19:53,840
Speaker 5: say you want to build legacy and you want somebody

1827
01:19:53,880 --> 01:19:57,120
Speaker 5: to carry your last name. Why why was that ingrained

1828
01:19:57,200 --> 01:19:58,960
Speaker 5: in you? And where'd that come from? And why is

1829
01:19:59,000 --> 01:19:59,519
Speaker 5: that important?

1830
01:19:59,560 --> 01:20:02,280
Speaker 3: Why not? I mean when I go on home to glory,

1831
01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:04,320
Speaker 3: I want my legacy to go on. I want my

1832
01:20:04,439 --> 01:20:06,800
Speaker 3: kids to carry my last name. I want my I

1833
01:20:06,880 --> 01:20:09,439
Speaker 3: want my legacy to be felt like Brother Orange did this.

1834
01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:12,160
Speaker 3: You know they you know, I just remember him talking

1835
01:20:12,160 --> 01:20:13,920
Speaker 3: about his wife's south. If they remember that, it was

1836
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:15,120
Speaker 3: like he did it with love, you know.

1837
01:20:15,360 --> 01:20:16,519
Speaker 4: So I do that.

1838
01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:18,680
Speaker 3: I see myself talk about my wife. I'm like, yeah,

1839
01:20:18,840 --> 01:20:21,639
Speaker 3: everybody does it. It's just we just throw it online.

1840
01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:26,040
Speaker 3: Now that's the that's just the legacy that I that

1841
01:20:26,120 --> 01:20:27,760
Speaker 3: I see, and that's the legacy that I want for

1842
01:20:27,920 --> 01:20:29,840
Speaker 3: my last name and my family. I always wanted to

1843
01:20:29,840 --> 01:20:30,479
Speaker 3: get married.

1844
01:20:30,280 --> 01:20:32,840
Speaker 4: And what about you? With you changed your mind?

1845
01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:35,080
Speaker 5: You went from not feeling like marriage was an option

1846
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:37,960
Speaker 5: to now you're over here looking at Pinterest boards and

1847
01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,679
Speaker 5: everything else for a wedding.

1848
01:20:40,479 --> 01:20:44,240
Speaker 4: Why well, let me ask you this. Would you have

1849
01:20:44,320 --> 01:20:45,400
Speaker 4: been okay with just.

1850
01:20:45,920 --> 01:20:48,320
Speaker 5: Living with him for twenty years thirty years and y'all

1851
01:20:48,479 --> 01:20:49,719
Speaker 5: just you know, boyfriend girlfriend?

1852
01:20:50,240 --> 01:20:50,280
Speaker 2: No?

1853
01:20:50,800 --> 01:20:51,080
Speaker 3: Why not?

1854
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:54,519
Speaker 2: Because eventually you evolve, and with me evolved and of

1855
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:57,840
Speaker 2: course my mind said evolved, and with him coming into

1856
01:20:57,960 --> 01:20:59,439
Speaker 2: my life, it was just kind of.

1857
01:21:01,280 --> 01:21:04,000
Speaker 1: Showing how can I put this? Let me take my time.

1858
01:21:04,960 --> 01:21:07,600
Speaker 2: So before I met him, I wanted to pursue like

1859
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:11,879
Speaker 2: an actress career. I never saw family. I've never saw marriage.

1860
01:21:12,360 --> 01:21:15,479
Speaker 2: So when he came into my life and he told

1861
01:21:15,520 --> 01:21:17,880
Speaker 2: me this is what he wanted. He wanted family, he

1862
01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:20,320
Speaker 2: wanted to be married, he wanted this. I'm not saying

1863
01:21:20,360 --> 01:21:23,519
Speaker 2: that I followed him, but then I looked at it like, okay, God,

1864
01:21:23,720 --> 01:21:26,080
Speaker 2: like this is the bigger purpose.

1865
01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:28,040
Speaker 1: Maybe this is the purpose for my life.

1866
01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:32,360
Speaker 2: So I took that in and I let him lead that,

1867
01:21:33,040 --> 01:21:36,559
Speaker 2: and as we went through our lives of being together,

1868
01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:39,120
Speaker 2: it became what I wanted. I felt like that was

1869
01:21:39,240 --> 01:21:41,840
Speaker 2: my purpose. And then the fact that I had a son,

1870
01:21:42,560 --> 01:21:45,160
Speaker 2: it was like, this is what my son can end

1871
01:21:45,240 --> 01:21:49,160
Speaker 2: up doing for his wife. So I feel like, no,

1872
01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:51,559
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have wanted to shake up for twenty something years,

1873
01:21:52,160 --> 01:21:54,800
Speaker 2: but he can't. God brought him into my life to

1874
01:21:54,840 --> 01:21:56,880
Speaker 2: help me involve into the woman that I am today.

1875
01:21:57,520 --> 01:22:00,720
Speaker 2: And I really do appreciate that because even when I

1876
01:22:00,840 --> 01:22:03,200
Speaker 2: fall short as a wife, he chooses me every day,

1877
01:22:04,120 --> 01:22:07,680
Speaker 2: every single day. And I told him the other day

1878
01:22:07,680 --> 01:22:09,120
Speaker 2: because I was like, ain't gonna bring this up, but

1879
01:22:09,360 --> 01:22:12,840
Speaker 2: I mean, I think women need to hear this. It

1880
01:22:13,040 --> 01:22:16,400
Speaker 2: be little things that he do. You know, we have

1881
01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:19,000
Speaker 2: like an office at the house and I sell products

1882
01:22:19,080 --> 01:22:21,639
Speaker 2: or whatever and he, you know, bought stuff to fix

1883
01:22:21,760 --> 01:22:26,200
Speaker 2: up the room. He always keep me in mind when

1884
01:22:26,280 --> 01:22:29,560
Speaker 2: he's doing things. And I went to him and I

1885
01:22:29,680 --> 01:22:31,200
Speaker 2: laid down in the bed with him. We were like, girl,

1886
01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:32,960
Speaker 2: what you mom? I was like, I really feel like

1887
01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:35,559
Speaker 2: a bad wife, I said, because you always look out

1888
01:22:35,600 --> 01:22:39,040
Speaker 2: for me, You always trying to you always get what

1889
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:39,559
Speaker 2: I need.

1890
01:22:40,280 --> 01:22:41,439
Speaker 1: But what am I doing for you?

1891
01:22:42,640 --> 01:22:44,599
Speaker 2: And I said, I don't feel like I'm take take

1892
01:22:44,720 --> 01:22:47,800
Speaker 2: taking But from when we first made up until now

1893
01:22:47,960 --> 01:22:49,800
Speaker 2: what what have I done as a wife for you?

1894
01:22:50,320 --> 01:22:54,240
Speaker 3: And you done for you? Patience? Like she's taught me

1895
01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:57,280
Speaker 3: how to be patient. She's giving me my family, Like

1896
01:22:57,400 --> 01:22:59,439
Speaker 3: she gave me what I wanted. So I'm not I'm

1897
01:22:59,479 --> 01:23:01,920
Speaker 3: not upset with it. So when she brought it to me,

1898
01:23:02,000 --> 01:23:04,320
Speaker 3: I was like, what's wrong with you in the morning

1899
01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:07,080
Speaker 3: to like you pride it in the morning start the day.

1900
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:07,519
Speaker 2: I was like that.

1901
01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:10,760
Speaker 3: So I was like, you know what I'm saying. So

1902
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:12,719
Speaker 3: I was like, I appreciate brother your future wife because

1903
01:23:12,720 --> 01:23:15,160
Speaker 3: he got you just going back in town. Yeah, I'm

1904
01:23:15,240 --> 01:23:16,160
Speaker 3: the prized baby.

1905
01:23:16,280 --> 01:23:17,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm the pride.

1906
01:23:17,439 --> 01:23:21,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it's so crazy.

1907
01:23:21,360 --> 01:23:25,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, talk about it. Yeah I stay. Yeah, I graduated

1908
01:23:25,720 --> 01:23:30,160
Speaker 3: that boated what We're in a suburban area, now what?

1909
01:23:31,439 --> 01:23:33,960
Speaker 1: And then I no longer have to be in survival mode.

1910
01:23:34,960 --> 01:23:38,160
Speaker 2: It's I used to find every type of side hustle

1911
01:23:38,240 --> 01:23:41,200
Speaker 2: I could find just to maintain, you know, for my

1912
01:23:41,320 --> 01:23:45,000
Speaker 2: son and I live in situations. And he had to

1913
01:23:45,080 --> 01:23:48,040
Speaker 2: remind me, like we okay, you don't have to keep

1914
01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:51,519
Speaker 2: opening up different businesses. You we got money.

1915
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:55,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, you're right, She's.

1916
01:23:55,200 --> 01:23:57,479
Speaker 3: Feeling everything I'm talking about.

1917
01:23:59,720 --> 01:24:05,800
Speaker 2: Every video y'all bodies closed by this man, please fly

1918
01:24:06,000 --> 01:24:08,560
Speaker 2: on walls, Like, wh what truck you're gonna put these in?

1919
01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:10,320
Speaker 4: You do the flower walls? What you try to do,

1920
01:24:10,439 --> 01:24:12,719
Speaker 4: set ups for up for events and stuff.

1921
01:24:12,760 --> 01:24:14,840
Speaker 3: I'm like, you got a little cat, how you're gonna

1922
01:24:14,840 --> 01:24:16,760
Speaker 3: get your flower walls? And what a polls on go?

1923
01:24:18,880 --> 01:24:20,920
Speaker 2: But that was the mindset I was stuck in.

1924
01:24:26,320 --> 01:24:29,200
Speaker 3: Gona transport it to the man. I'm over here thinking,

1925
01:24:29,320 --> 01:24:30,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, come now before you buy.

1926
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:32,799
Speaker 6: Oh man.

1927
01:24:35,680 --> 01:24:40,080
Speaker 3: Did no, we still got him if y'all want them,

1928
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:42,639
Speaker 3: I want.

1929
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:48,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, the website up, man, the website up there, right there,

1930
01:24:48,560 --> 01:24:49,560
Speaker 4: to the website.

1931
01:24:49,240 --> 01:24:50,120
Speaker 5: Right yeah.

1932
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:51,040
Speaker 2: But I love him.

1933
01:24:51,680 --> 01:24:53,320
Speaker 4: You always try to find a hustle.

1934
01:24:53,520 --> 01:24:55,400
Speaker 2: You're always trying to find innoce embedded in me. My

1935
01:24:55,520 --> 01:24:57,840
Speaker 2: mom is the same way. So I feel like I

1936
01:24:58,120 --> 01:24:58,720
Speaker 2: love it too.

1937
01:24:58,800 --> 01:25:01,160
Speaker 3: But it's like right now you she gotta six to

1938
01:25:01,240 --> 01:25:06,639
Speaker 3: one one, gotta work. Okay, what she said, hair grow,

1939
01:25:06,760 --> 01:25:08,640
Speaker 3: She got her hair grows, oil line. It's good. I

1940
01:25:08,680 --> 01:25:10,880
Speaker 3: was like, stay with this one. This is doing sound

1941
01:25:10,960 --> 01:25:15,479
Speaker 3: to this is doing great. It's doing good, doing great.

1942
01:25:15,520 --> 01:25:16,800
Speaker 3: And then she was like, I want to sell this

1943
01:25:17,720 --> 01:25:20,000
Speaker 3: businesses what she got? Man, she had it's cute beauty.

1944
01:25:20,040 --> 01:25:22,599
Speaker 3: When we first met, it's cute beautique. She was selling

1945
01:25:22,640 --> 01:25:24,840
Speaker 3: the waist trainers I met. I meet her during that time.

1946
01:25:25,160 --> 01:25:25,639
Speaker 4: She looks.

1947
01:25:25,680 --> 01:25:28,920
Speaker 3: She started doing last I mean eyebrow tin she I

1948
01:25:29,040 --> 01:25:32,599
Speaker 3: paid for that eyebrow tint. Then look, I had said,

1949
01:25:32,640 --> 01:25:34,120
Speaker 3: this is my vow. Said, I don't care how many

1950
01:25:34,120 --> 01:25:36,280
Speaker 3: business you saw. I'm gonna be right there with you. Girl.

1951
01:25:36,720 --> 01:25:38,600
Speaker 3: I said that I guess what. She took home to

1952
01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:41,000
Speaker 3: that and just kept going. I was like, man, I

1953
01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:43,080
Speaker 3: got some flyer walls I seen online. We can make

1954
01:25:43,120 --> 01:25:45,920
Speaker 3: some money. I was like, what truck we're gonna use?

1955
01:25:46,640 --> 01:25:46,960
Speaker 4: Baby?

1956
01:25:47,240 --> 01:25:47,439
Speaker 3: You know?

1957
01:25:47,640 --> 01:25:47,680
Speaker 2: So?

1958
01:25:48,520 --> 01:25:51,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, my bad is my baby is doing my baby

1959
01:25:52,080 --> 01:25:55,439
Speaker 3: reminded his music. He she started the she the record deal.

1960
01:25:55,600 --> 01:26:01,160
Speaker 3: She did the record for this is yeah. He the producer.

1961
01:26:01,720 --> 01:26:04,200
Speaker 3: She said. She's like, no, we're gonna get a business tall.

1962
01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:06,280
Speaker 3: I said, we're gonna name it do better records, because

1963
01:26:06,320 --> 01:26:08,200
Speaker 3: he was we want you to do better in school.

1964
01:26:08,320 --> 01:26:14,719
Speaker 3: So that's what's gonna name. But now, like she's always

1965
01:26:14,800 --> 01:26:16,880
Speaker 3: doing stuff mans me that.

1966
01:26:20,200 --> 01:26:20,840
Speaker 7: I was trying to bring.

1967
01:26:23,080 --> 01:26:25,160
Speaker 3: She got a hustling spirit, like that's how everybody.

1968
01:26:25,320 --> 01:26:25,439
Speaker 5: Man.

1969
01:26:25,479 --> 01:26:28,320
Speaker 3: I just love you, Hub because I don't. I don't

1970
01:26:28,360 --> 01:26:30,639
Speaker 3: know what's going on. She was like, this, gotta believe

1971
01:26:30,680 --> 01:26:31,200
Speaker 3: I said it did.

1972
01:26:31,320 --> 01:26:32,439
Speaker 4: I'm walking around people day.

1973
01:26:32,479 --> 01:26:34,519
Speaker 3: I love you, how you love me? I didn't do nothing.

1974
01:26:34,880 --> 01:26:38,040
Speaker 3: I look online, I'm everywhere. I'm like, okay, my.

1975
01:26:38,160 --> 01:26:39,200
Speaker 2: Lady out here is showing.

1976
01:26:39,520 --> 01:26:40,920
Speaker 3: I love it too.

1977
01:26:41,280 --> 01:26:43,759
Speaker 4: Oh God, we bought a house.

1978
01:26:43,840 --> 01:26:46,000
Speaker 3: You tell them about that. Oh you're I'm gonna tell them.

1979
01:26:46,479 --> 01:26:49,240
Speaker 3: We had just got engaged. Right when you buy a ring,

1980
01:26:49,320 --> 01:26:51,439
Speaker 3: you use credit. Now my credit a the best. Now

1981
01:26:51,439 --> 01:26:53,240
Speaker 3: that I'm about the ring, it was up before I

1982
01:26:53,240 --> 01:26:55,679
Speaker 3: about the ring. We're going to go look at house.

1983
01:26:55,720 --> 01:26:57,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, we get married and find the

1984
01:26:57,160 --> 01:26:59,760
Speaker 3: house to be nice. I'm thinking we're going around looking

1985
01:26:59,760 --> 01:27:01,760
Speaker 3: at how was just for a hobby? It's a Sunday thing.

1986
01:27:02,200 --> 01:27:05,040
Speaker 3: Oh no, we feel in that PaperWorks. We come back

1987
01:27:05,080 --> 01:27:08,080
Speaker 3: with two clipboards. I want this house, like baby, I

1988
01:27:08,280 --> 01:27:11,320
Speaker 3: just the credit. The credit ain't crediting right now? You

1989
01:27:11,439 --> 01:27:13,320
Speaker 3: hit me now I was out when you met me.

1990
01:27:13,400 --> 01:27:14,960
Speaker 3: It was up, but I about this ring, and now

1991
01:27:15,000 --> 01:27:18,080
Speaker 3: it's it's a little hit, you know. I mean, now

1992
01:27:18,080 --> 01:27:20,320
Speaker 3: I gotta take credit classes. People, I'm teaching them that

1993
01:27:20,360 --> 01:27:22,160
Speaker 3: I'm teaching the class, like you want to pay it,

1994
01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:23,720
Speaker 3: don't pay it on this statement date. Don't pay it

1995
01:27:23,760 --> 01:27:26,200
Speaker 3: before this. You know it's well, you know what you're doing.

1996
01:27:26,280 --> 01:27:28,080
Speaker 3: Yet she just wanted the house at this moment. It

1997
01:27:28,200 --> 01:27:29,240
Speaker 3: wasn't a time, but it's time.

1998
01:27:29,360 --> 01:27:31,439
Speaker 2: Now I can die. We got the house.

1999
01:27:31,479 --> 01:27:33,160
Speaker 3: When we got the house before we got married. That

2000
01:27:33,240 --> 01:27:34,640
Speaker 3: was a lot of money that year. That about this

2001
01:27:34,720 --> 01:27:35,360
Speaker 3: great hair coming.

2002
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:37,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got the house June twenty twenty two.

2003
01:27:38,160 --> 01:27:41,679
Speaker 3: June tenth, twenty twenty two. We got married September twenty third,

2004
01:27:41,760 --> 01:27:42,519
Speaker 3: twenty twenty two.

2005
01:27:43,600 --> 01:27:44,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know how we did.

2006
01:27:45,000 --> 01:27:45,599
Speaker 4: Yeah, get.

2007
01:27:47,360 --> 01:27:51,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do. I remember vividly nightmarriage.

2008
01:27:51,160 --> 01:27:53,960
Speaker 1: Hear somebody that came from nothing just came to everything.

2009
01:27:57,360 --> 01:28:00,320
Speaker 3: What I said, I thought, I talked mysel I said,

2010
01:28:00,320 --> 01:28:02,240
Speaker 3: I thought. I want to go with a story what happened?

2011
01:28:05,360 --> 01:28:05,800
Speaker 3: I can't.

2012
01:28:08,400 --> 01:28:09,280
Speaker 2: That is hilarious.

2013
01:28:09,880 --> 01:28:14,760
Speaker 4: Share your story on their future wife made it look here.

2014
01:28:14,880 --> 01:28:16,840
Speaker 4: Oh my god. Well, let me tell y'all some many

2015
01:28:16,880 --> 01:28:18,360
Speaker 4: things you want to say before we wrap up.

2016
01:28:18,640 --> 01:28:19,960
Speaker 2: No, they have covered it.

2017
01:28:23,160 --> 01:28:23,920
Speaker 4: Got my head hurt?

2018
01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:24,080
Speaker 3: How?

2019
01:28:24,120 --> 01:28:26,479
Speaker 7: Oh wait, wait, you have another baby? When did you

2020
01:28:26,640 --> 01:28:27,519
Speaker 7: have your baby?

2021
01:28:27,840 --> 01:28:28,040
Speaker 3: Yeah?

2022
01:28:28,960 --> 01:28:33,639
Speaker 2: Nineteen twenty four, okay, two years.

2023
01:28:35,160 --> 01:28:38,280
Speaker 7: A bundle of joy. And so how was that then

2024
01:28:38,400 --> 01:28:38,680
Speaker 7: for you?

2025
01:28:38,960 --> 01:28:43,400
Speaker 8: Because that kind of signifies the the culmination of everything

2026
01:28:43,479 --> 01:28:44,600
Speaker 8: that you had imagined.

2027
01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:46,960
Speaker 3: That was that was different, that was that was a

2028
01:28:47,000 --> 01:28:50,880
Speaker 3: different experience because Whitney would always say, while she was prettyant,

2029
01:28:50,880 --> 01:28:53,200
Speaker 3: you gonna understand when you have your own, like why

2030
01:28:53,320 --> 01:28:56,599
Speaker 3: she's so gung ho on protecting Remond. I'm like, boy,

2031
01:28:56,640 --> 01:28:58,240
Speaker 3: got a girl, you're gonna let them go. He said,

2032
01:28:58,400 --> 01:29:00,280
Speaker 3: when you get your own, you're gonna feel it. And

2033
01:29:00,560 --> 01:29:01,960
Speaker 3: now my daughter here, and I'm like, I don't want

2034
01:29:02,000 --> 01:29:07,479
Speaker 3: nobody to talk to a toucher. That's mind. Now I

2035
01:29:07,520 --> 01:29:09,200
Speaker 3: don't even talk to her because she's so, she's so,

2036
01:29:10,080 --> 01:29:11,479
Speaker 3: she's gonna make you want to pick up. I don't

2037
01:29:11,479 --> 01:29:13,320
Speaker 3: pick my baby up. Don't do that. I don't do that.

2038
01:29:15,360 --> 01:29:16,760
Speaker 3: Like I just feel like I know her. I know,

2039
01:29:17,040 --> 01:29:22,760
Speaker 3: but no, thank you, thank you. But no, that's that's

2040
01:29:22,800 --> 01:29:25,000
Speaker 3: my that's my that's my dog, it's my bundle of joy.

2041
01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:28,320
Speaker 3: I wanted the boy bad, I did, but God knew

2042
01:29:28,320 --> 01:29:30,000
Speaker 3: what he was doing. He gave me my baby girl,

2043
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:33,320
Speaker 3: and I have my son, so I'm perfectly fine, best

2044
01:29:33,360 --> 01:29:34,040
Speaker 3: of both worlds.

2045
01:29:35,360 --> 01:29:36,040
Speaker 6: How was that for you?

2046
01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:39,720
Speaker 8: Because it had been sometime since you had like a

2047
01:29:39,880 --> 01:29:43,439
Speaker 8: little one. Yea, So how is that it's time doing it?

2048
01:29:43,600 --> 01:29:47,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, yeah, it feels it feels great.

2049
01:29:48,160 --> 01:29:50,280
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie to you because I honestly I

2050
01:29:50,320 --> 01:29:55,519
Speaker 2: don't remember anything with my son from nineteen up until now, obviously,

2051
01:29:55,720 --> 01:29:58,160
Speaker 2: but I get to do everything over with her the

2052
01:29:58,320 --> 01:30:01,160
Speaker 2: right way. With him, it was just kind of like

2053
01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:03,200
Speaker 2: I was telling him the other day, I said, yeah,

2054
01:30:03,240 --> 01:30:05,200
Speaker 2: I'll be dropping him if faced grandmama house. Because I

2055
01:30:05,280 --> 01:30:07,479
Speaker 2: was still young, so I was trying to go out

2056
01:30:07,640 --> 01:30:09,840
Speaker 2: and find me going to the clubs and doing this,

2057
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:12,320
Speaker 2: doing that. But now I'm actually at home with my

2058
01:30:12,439 --> 01:30:15,280
Speaker 2: daughter and taking that time to actually love on her.

2059
01:30:15,760 --> 01:30:17,280
Speaker 2: And you know, I hate that for my son. But

2060
01:30:17,439 --> 01:30:20,160
Speaker 2: I mean, like he said, we grew up together. I'm like,

2061
01:30:20,200 --> 01:30:21,919
Speaker 2: it's not a good thing to be telling everybody.

2062
01:30:22,960 --> 01:30:26,600
Speaker 3: Look I said that. I said that. I said, I

2063
01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:29,240
Speaker 3: mean that was that was one of the obstacles we

2064
01:30:29,320 --> 01:30:32,200
Speaker 3: had coming in. It was like I will say something

2065
01:30:32,240 --> 01:30:33,960
Speaker 3: to him. I'm like, you know, you got in trouble.

2066
01:30:34,160 --> 01:30:35,840
Speaker 3: I'm taking your game for a week, and She'll come

2067
01:30:35,920 --> 01:30:37,760
Speaker 3: like how long you gonna have it? I'm like, why

2068
01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:39,120
Speaker 3: you want to? Like, why you want to know how

2069
01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:40,560
Speaker 3: long I'm gonna have a game, so she can go

2070
01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:42,280
Speaker 3: back and tell him he only gonna have a couple

2071
01:30:42,320 --> 01:30:44,720
Speaker 3: of days, you'd be good. What we supposed to be

2072
01:30:44,800 --> 01:30:45,599
Speaker 3: on the same page.

2073
01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:47,960
Speaker 2: But it's like that was the pro for me to

2074
01:30:48,160 --> 01:30:53,960
Speaker 2: delegate the responsibility. I watched my mom with four kids growing,

2075
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:56,840
Speaker 2: I'm the youngest of four, and she did everything. And

2076
01:30:56,960 --> 01:30:59,240
Speaker 2: then when my stepdad came into the picture, of course,

2077
01:30:59,400 --> 01:31:02,400
Speaker 2: he you know, came in. He was a working man.

2078
01:31:02,520 --> 01:31:05,240
Speaker 2: They paid bills and that's all I saw. So in

2079
01:31:05,360 --> 01:31:06,880
Speaker 2: my mind it was just like, Okay, I just want

2080
01:31:06,920 --> 01:31:08,240
Speaker 2: a man to have a job so I can get

2081
01:31:08,280 --> 01:31:11,040
Speaker 2: these bills paid. But my mom still did everything in

2082
01:31:11,080 --> 01:31:16,200
Speaker 2: the house, from discipline to cleaning, cooking, She did everything.

2083
01:31:16,520 --> 01:31:18,800
Speaker 2: So that was instilled in me. So when it came

2084
01:31:18,920 --> 01:31:22,080
Speaker 2: to me trying to delegate responsibility of a parent to him,

2085
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:24,760
Speaker 2: it was hard for me to let that go. So

2086
01:31:25,120 --> 01:31:27,840
Speaker 2: I was always in mama bear protective mode because this

2087
01:31:28,040 --> 01:31:30,400
Speaker 2: is mine. Yeah, and it's like, but I prayed for

2088
01:31:30,520 --> 01:31:32,720
Speaker 2: somebody to come in and guy, but I didn't know

2089
01:31:32,840 --> 01:31:35,759
Speaker 2: that this is what it came with, letting him step

2090
01:31:35,840 --> 01:31:38,320
Speaker 2: in into his parent to roll. So yeah, it was

2091
01:31:38,360 --> 01:31:41,040
Speaker 2: a lot for me to delegate responsibility to him as

2092
01:31:41,080 --> 01:31:43,360
Speaker 2: a father because I was used to doing everything and

2093
01:31:43,439 --> 01:31:44,800
Speaker 2: that's all I saw growing up.

2094
01:31:46,520 --> 01:31:50,040
Speaker 5: And the co parent and relationship with your son's father

2095
01:31:50,360 --> 01:31:53,280
Speaker 5: is good between the y'all, And that's good that y'all

2096
01:31:53,320 --> 01:31:55,200
Speaker 5: finally had that conversation where you could sit down and

2097
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:56,280
Speaker 5: talk to him like he wanted.

2098
01:31:56,360 --> 01:31:59,680
Speaker 3: Early on we didn't, but it's you know, it just

2099
01:32:00,240 --> 01:32:02,600
Speaker 3: happened if we didn't have to. It is just it

2100
01:32:02,760 --> 01:32:04,320
Speaker 3: was just okay, this is how was, this is how

2101
01:32:04,360 --> 01:32:07,240
Speaker 3: it's going to go. And from there on it was

2102
01:32:07,280 --> 01:32:09,280
Speaker 3: like everybody knew how day was running. It was like okay,

2103
01:32:09,800 --> 01:32:11,960
Speaker 3: like my son like he knows. He's like, okay, I

2104
01:32:12,120 --> 01:32:14,639
Speaker 3: know how far to take it because she's still learning.

2105
01:32:14,720 --> 01:32:19,160
Speaker 3: Like he's a boy. He's see when I said, and

2106
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:20,479
Speaker 3: I was like, I gotta let him know. I'm in

2107
01:32:20,520 --> 01:32:21,000
Speaker 3: the gym.

2108
01:32:23,200 --> 01:32:23,639
Speaker 4: Real month.

2109
01:32:26,360 --> 01:32:28,200
Speaker 8: Well, now you said he because he has an important

2110
01:32:28,240 --> 01:32:31,320
Speaker 8: birthday coming up, right, So he's about to turn eighteen.

2111
01:32:31,479 --> 01:32:34,000
Speaker 8: So I guess when you look back on all of

2112
01:32:34,120 --> 01:32:36,639
Speaker 8: the things that you hold, I want.

2113
01:32:36,520 --> 01:32:38,920
Speaker 3: To hug him. I want to see him. I'm like, boy,

2114
01:32:38,960 --> 01:32:41,320
Speaker 3: you don't know. Yeah, boy, me and your Mama just

2115
01:32:41,560 --> 01:32:44,080
Speaker 3: almost didn't make it, but I'm glad we did because

2116
01:32:44,240 --> 01:32:47,680
Speaker 3: you are perfect. Like you are perfect, you are, You

2117
01:32:47,760 --> 01:32:50,000
Speaker 3: are what I expected for you to be. You know,

2118
01:32:50,439 --> 01:32:52,280
Speaker 3: he has his own mind. He knows when to get

2119
01:32:52,320 --> 01:32:53,439
Speaker 3: out of a car. He's like, I want to go.

2120
01:32:53,640 --> 01:32:54,000
Speaker 4: I'm cool.

2121
01:32:54,720 --> 01:32:54,840
Speaker 5: You know.

2122
01:32:54,920 --> 01:32:58,200
Speaker 3: It's like, okay, all right, you're smart, I'm right great.

2123
01:32:58,360 --> 01:33:00,400
Speaker 3: You know you make me feel like I did great

2124
01:33:00,439 --> 01:33:02,280
Speaker 3: when I called and I talked to you. So that's

2125
01:33:02,320 --> 01:33:03,519
Speaker 3: pretty much. That's beautiful.

2126
01:33:03,680 --> 01:33:08,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, y'all grabbed that box real quick. Okay, grab the

2127
01:33:08,720 --> 01:33:11,519
Speaker 5: paper out there. Each one of y'all get one. Each

2128
01:33:11,560 --> 01:33:13,160
Speaker 5: one of y'all get a pin. Y'all can share that

2129
01:33:13,280 --> 01:33:14,720
Speaker 5: box and write a key to love.

2130
01:33:15,760 --> 01:33:18,240
Speaker 4: Okay, write a key to love.

2131
01:33:18,520 --> 01:33:19,360
Speaker 3: Write a key to love.

2132
01:33:19,520 --> 01:33:20,040
Speaker 4: Yeah. Whatever.

2133
01:33:20,080 --> 01:33:21,599
Speaker 5: It can be a sentence, it can be one word,

2134
01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:23,160
Speaker 5: it can be whatever you want to say, and then

2135
01:33:23,200 --> 01:33:24,200
Speaker 5: make sure you sign your name.

2136
01:33:24,280 --> 01:33:27,080
Speaker 3: Whatever you feel like is a key to love. Okay.

2137
01:33:27,960 --> 01:33:29,439
Speaker 4: As said, what do you think about this episode?

2138
01:33:29,880 --> 01:33:34,320
Speaker 8: I thought this was filled with so much laughter, which

2139
01:33:34,400 --> 01:33:39,559
Speaker 8: I loved, and I loved hearing their story just raw

2140
01:33:39,800 --> 01:33:43,400
Speaker 8: and authentic. I also thought of remember when we went

2141
01:33:43,439 --> 01:33:46,599
Speaker 8: to that comedy show last year was it guy who

2142
01:33:46,680 --> 01:33:50,880
Speaker 8: said the whole joke about the god to yeah guide toy.

2143
01:33:51,040 --> 01:33:53,880
Speaker 8: He said, he said, if you have a girlfriend, what.

2144
01:33:54,040 --> 01:33:54,519
Speaker 7: Was the joke.

2145
01:33:54,800 --> 01:33:57,160
Speaker 5: He was saying that a girlfriend, you can't make an

2146
01:33:57,200 --> 01:34:00,080
Speaker 5: excuse like your homeboys don't understand if you got to

2147
01:34:00,200 --> 01:34:02,439
Speaker 5: change the schedule for a girlfriend with understanding wife.

2148
01:34:02,640 --> 01:34:04,839
Speaker 4: So if you, if you ever you have a girlfriend,

2149
01:34:04,840 --> 01:34:06,519
Speaker 4: you're like, yeah, my girlfriend want me to go do that?

2150
01:34:06,600 --> 01:34:07,160
Speaker 3: But man, forget that.

2151
01:34:08,160 --> 01:34:11,000
Speaker 5: Man go ahead, come with us anyway. You say, my wife, yeah, yeah, yeah,

2152
01:34:11,000 --> 01:34:11,479
Speaker 5: your wife said this.

2153
01:34:11,680 --> 01:34:13,840
Speaker 7: It was like, yeah, but I love it reminded me

2154
01:34:13,880 --> 01:34:14,439
Speaker 7: of that when he.

2155
01:34:14,520 --> 01:34:19,000
Speaker 8: Said when called a job yes, because he was basically

2156
01:34:19,240 --> 01:34:21,200
Speaker 8: making a real wife move.

2157
01:34:21,800 --> 01:34:24,559
Speaker 5: I'm a real husband in this moment, which was interesting,

2158
01:34:24,680 --> 01:34:27,960
Speaker 5: and I was like, how's he doing that? And and

2159
01:34:28,040 --> 01:34:30,519
Speaker 5: he's even said a girl I'm talking to you know

2160
01:34:30,560 --> 01:34:32,960
Speaker 5: what I'm saying, Yeah, but he's treating her like a wife.

2161
01:34:33,040 --> 01:34:36,160
Speaker 8: He did the entire time, And so I love that

2162
01:34:36,400 --> 01:34:41,160
Speaker 8: he had a vision for first himself and then he

2163
01:34:41,280 --> 01:34:44,280
Speaker 8: had a vision for his union.

2164
01:34:44,240 --> 01:34:47,479
Speaker 7: His marriage, his bride before she had it.

2165
01:34:47,680 --> 01:34:51,080
Speaker 8: I love that, and I love that she was open

2166
01:34:51,280 --> 01:34:55,280
Speaker 8: to submitting to the fullness that God has for her,

2167
01:34:55,800 --> 01:34:58,640
Speaker 8: and that she was able to see the light and

2168
01:34:58,760 --> 01:35:02,479
Speaker 8: the worthiness all of around her, even during the season

2169
01:35:02,720 --> 01:35:05,280
Speaker 8: where at first she was like I don't even know,

2170
01:35:05,880 --> 01:35:08,439
Speaker 8: like this is too organ this is too much structure

2171
01:35:08,840 --> 01:35:11,519
Speaker 8: for me, Like this isn't what, this is more than what.

2172
01:35:11,920 --> 01:35:15,799
Speaker 8: But then like God will do exceedingly and abundantly above

2173
01:35:15,960 --> 01:35:18,680
Speaker 8: all that you can ask or imagine. So it's like

2174
01:35:18,800 --> 01:35:21,519
Speaker 8: this is her Ephesians three twenty, which I love.

2175
01:35:22,400 --> 01:35:23,280
Speaker 3: I love man.

2176
01:35:23,360 --> 01:35:25,719
Speaker 5: What I love about is the fact that I hope

2177
01:35:25,760 --> 01:35:30,120
Speaker 5: this encourages women who had kids, you know, and they

2178
01:35:30,240 --> 01:35:33,000
Speaker 5: were walking around with a sense of unworthiness, that they

2179
01:35:33,160 --> 01:35:36,920
Speaker 5: know that they are still worthy. I'm glad that they

2180
01:35:37,640 --> 01:35:40,640
Speaker 5: put language to what some men say is that they

2181
01:35:40,680 --> 01:35:43,000
Speaker 5: don't want a woman with kids. But if you open

2182
01:35:43,080 --> 01:35:47,000
Speaker 5: yourself up and you understand that the way God sees us,

2183
01:35:47,080 --> 01:35:49,200
Speaker 5: he doesn't see us based on our mistakes. He doesn't

2184
01:35:49,240 --> 01:35:51,120
Speaker 5: look at it and be like, oh, you're unworthy, because

2185
01:35:51,280 --> 01:35:53,519
Speaker 5: and what's so unfortunate is a lot of men who

2186
01:35:53,600 --> 01:35:55,320
Speaker 5: say that they don't want a woman with kids be

2187
01:35:55,400 --> 01:35:58,000
Speaker 5: having kids themselves, and so here you are having a

2188
01:35:58,080 --> 01:36:02,320
Speaker 5: man that don't have kids and and can feel like

2189
01:36:02,560 --> 01:36:06,799
Speaker 5: he deserves quote unquote more, but you don't even realize

2190
01:36:06,840 --> 01:36:10,080
Speaker 5: what more is more is the person that God has

2191
01:36:10,240 --> 01:36:13,479
Speaker 5: designed for you that can cover your heart and protect

2192
01:36:13,520 --> 01:36:15,880
Speaker 5: your soul and you can do purpose with that is

2193
01:36:15,960 --> 01:36:18,080
Speaker 5: the more. It's not based upon what she got A

2194
01:36:18,160 --> 01:36:19,960
Speaker 5: kid she got And it's interesting, I didn't know that

2195
01:36:20,120 --> 01:36:24,320
Speaker 5: that her mom had a boyfriend while she had four

2196
01:36:24,479 --> 01:36:27,160
Speaker 5: kids and had a man that's loving her with four kids,

2197
01:36:27,200 --> 01:36:29,680
Speaker 5: you know what I'm saying. And so it's like, I

2198
01:36:29,840 --> 01:36:33,559
Speaker 5: just want to put more value around how we see

2199
01:36:33,600 --> 01:36:39,200
Speaker 5: ourselves because she walked around with feeling unworthy even day

2200
01:36:39,760 --> 01:36:41,200
Speaker 5: he says, I felt worthy.

2201
01:36:43,240 --> 01:36:44,679
Speaker 4: I know my worth is what he said.

2202
01:36:44,800 --> 01:36:46,439
Speaker 5: I know my worth, and I'm not going to allow

2203
01:36:46,520 --> 01:36:50,200
Speaker 5: myself to, you know, be in this relationship that's not

2204
01:36:51,360 --> 01:36:55,800
Speaker 5: a mutual give and take type a situation. But I

2205
01:36:55,880 --> 01:36:59,600
Speaker 5: believe that we all operate in the level of unworthiness

2206
01:36:59,640 --> 01:37:02,120
Speaker 5: that if we allow God to heal that, then we

2207
01:37:02,360 --> 01:37:04,360
Speaker 5: can have what you were talking about these sesians.

2208
01:37:04,400 --> 01:37:04,599
Speaker 3: We can.

2209
01:37:04,720 --> 01:37:07,240
Speaker 5: We can we can have everything that God has in

2210
01:37:07,360 --> 01:37:09,640
Speaker 5: store for us if we just change our mindset and

2211
01:37:09,720 --> 01:37:12,599
Speaker 5: find value. So thank y'all for providing that context. Thank

2212
01:37:12,680 --> 01:37:15,640
Speaker 5: y'all for y'all transparency. Thank y'all for your vulnerability and

2213
01:37:15,920 --> 01:37:17,840
Speaker 5: we love y'all. What did y'all write on the key?

2214
01:37:19,280 --> 01:37:22,080
Speaker 3: Oh y'all go first? Love yourself first?

2215
01:37:22,400 --> 01:37:23,280
Speaker 4: Why is that important?

2216
01:37:23,479 --> 01:37:25,439
Speaker 3: Because how can you love somebody else if you don't

2217
01:37:25,479 --> 01:37:27,760
Speaker 3: love yourself first? Poor to them?

2218
01:37:28,000 --> 01:37:29,720
Speaker 4: Did you feel like you love yourself at any point?

2219
01:37:30,000 --> 01:37:30,320
Speaker 2: I did?

2220
01:37:30,439 --> 01:37:32,080
Speaker 3: I did? I love myself. That's how his worked. That's

2221
01:37:32,080 --> 01:37:33,880
Speaker 3: what this worked on Bitter so well, because I love

2222
01:37:33,960 --> 01:37:36,160
Speaker 3: me first, and then I can love you. I can

2223
01:37:36,640 --> 01:37:38,200
Speaker 3: I love me so I can show I see myself

2224
01:37:38,240 --> 01:37:40,680
Speaker 3: and you. I can love me like I love you.

2225
01:37:41,160 --> 01:37:43,799
Speaker 5: Was there a point in your life, whether teenage or whatever,

2226
01:37:44,080 --> 01:37:45,400
Speaker 5: that you didn't feel like you love yourself?

2227
01:37:45,880 --> 01:37:49,920
Speaker 3: A teenager? About thirteen fourteen, you know you're going into

2228
01:37:50,040 --> 01:37:54,400
Speaker 3: that that age of you know, going to you trying

2229
01:37:54,439 --> 01:37:57,280
Speaker 3: to talk to girls, or you're trying to find yourself,

2230
01:37:57,360 --> 01:37:59,720
Speaker 3: and you're going around these different obstacles. It's like, man,

2231
01:37:59,760 --> 01:38:02,160
Speaker 3: am I worthy? In my am I supposed to be here?

2232
01:38:02,320 --> 01:38:05,000
Speaker 3: Even you questioning God? It's like, man, what's going on

2233
01:38:05,200 --> 01:38:07,360
Speaker 3: right now? So me being in the church is like

2234
01:38:07,439 --> 01:38:11,200
Speaker 3: you have to ask that question multiple times because there's

2235
01:38:11,200 --> 01:38:13,200
Speaker 3: certain things that don't make sense, like you lose a

2236
01:38:13,280 --> 01:38:15,360
Speaker 3: loved one, It's like why me, Like why them?

2237
01:38:15,479 --> 01:38:15,680
Speaker 2: You know?

2238
01:38:15,800 --> 01:38:18,720
Speaker 3: So that's why I was like, love yourself first. So

2239
01:38:18,880 --> 01:38:20,720
Speaker 3: I learned that later on. It's like I gotta love

2240
01:38:20,760 --> 01:38:22,679
Speaker 3: me first before I can try to love somebody else.

2241
01:38:22,920 --> 01:38:28,000
Speaker 5: That's good with listen to understand man, how did that

2242
01:38:28,080 --> 01:38:28,880
Speaker 5: show up in your life?

2243
01:38:30,479 --> 01:38:30,880
Speaker 3: With him?

2244
01:38:31,080 --> 01:38:33,800
Speaker 2: When it came down to our son, it was just

2245
01:38:34,000 --> 01:38:38,560
Speaker 2: me giving my perspective of parenting and not listening to

2246
01:38:38,680 --> 01:38:41,439
Speaker 2: where he was coming from. It was he'll tell me something,

2247
01:38:41,479 --> 01:38:44,360
Speaker 2: and I'm you know, I'm listening, but we're gonna do

2248
01:38:44,400 --> 01:38:44,920
Speaker 2: it this way.

2249
01:38:45,280 --> 01:38:47,040
Speaker 4: Did you feel like he was disqualified because he didn't

2250
01:38:47,040 --> 01:38:47,400
Speaker 4: have kids?

2251
01:38:48,000 --> 01:38:50,360
Speaker 2: At some points I did feel that well, but then

2252
01:38:51,000 --> 01:38:53,120
Speaker 2: it was like, look at him. I mean he will

2253
01:38:53,160 --> 01:38:54,799
Speaker 2: put together anywayn't listen.

2254
01:38:54,600 --> 01:38:55,679
Speaker 1: To you can listen to him.

2255
01:38:58,160 --> 01:39:03,559
Speaker 3: Also a man talking to a boy, and it was.

2256
01:39:03,600 --> 01:39:05,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It got to a place to where it

2257
01:39:05,880 --> 01:39:09,120
Speaker 2: was like, this is a young man and you're a woman.

2258
01:39:09,880 --> 01:39:11,800
Speaker 2: He knows how I know how it feel to be

2259
01:39:11,960 --> 01:39:14,920
Speaker 2: in his shoes at this age, so why not let him?

2260
01:39:15,600 --> 01:39:17,280
Speaker 2: And that's where it got to the point to where

2261
01:39:17,280 --> 01:39:18,960
Speaker 2: I kind of bad back. Now, don't get me wrong,

2262
01:39:19,040 --> 01:39:21,639
Speaker 2: I still jump in in certain aspects, but I learned

2263
01:39:21,680 --> 01:39:24,240
Speaker 2: to bag back and let him and do it his way,

2264
01:39:24,800 --> 01:39:27,400
Speaker 2: and I always see stuff later on, he'd be like,

2265
01:39:27,479 --> 01:39:29,160
Speaker 2: it took you a long time to come around to

2266
01:39:29,240 --> 01:39:31,880
Speaker 2: this side. I'm like, I'm sorry, I know. I'm like,

2267
01:39:32,000 --> 01:39:32,760
Speaker 2: I know, I know.

2268
01:39:33,600 --> 01:39:35,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, did your son.

2269
01:39:35,920 --> 01:39:38,879
Speaker 5: I want you to speak real briefly on the impact

2270
01:39:38,920 --> 01:39:40,240
Speaker 5: that he's had on your son's life.

2271
01:39:41,520 --> 01:39:43,800
Speaker 2: He had a real big impact on his life and

2272
01:39:43,880 --> 01:39:47,360
Speaker 2: the way he moved. He not out here in these streets.

2273
01:39:48,280 --> 01:39:50,880
Speaker 2: He know how to choose his friends, you know how

2274
01:39:50,920 --> 01:39:55,479
Speaker 2: to speak well. The way he carry hisself, I see

2275
01:39:55,680 --> 01:39:58,759
Speaker 2: a lot. I know as as as he gets older,

2276
01:39:58,800 --> 01:40:01,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna see it a lot more because he's still

2277
01:40:01,360 --> 01:40:04,840
Speaker 2: a team trying to find himself. But I know that

2278
01:40:05,040 --> 01:40:08,720
Speaker 2: he listens to him the type of music he listened to.

2279
01:40:09,400 --> 01:40:11,040
Speaker 2: He put him on the music, and I hear my

2280
01:40:11,160 --> 01:40:12,759
Speaker 2: son listening to it, I'm like, oh, you're.

2281
01:40:12,640 --> 01:40:14,960
Speaker 1: Looking at him listening to what he's intelident to listen to.

2282
01:40:15,640 --> 01:40:17,559
Speaker 1: So I see little things.

2283
01:40:17,680 --> 01:40:19,559
Speaker 2: I just know right now, at the age he's at

2284
01:40:19,640 --> 01:40:22,600
Speaker 2: right now, it's him still trying to find himself to

2285
01:40:22,800 --> 01:40:25,799
Speaker 2: become a young man. But I know I see the traits.

2286
01:40:25,920 --> 01:40:29,439
Speaker 2: It's like psychologically in there that he has no choice

2287
01:40:29,479 --> 01:40:32,519
Speaker 2: but to be even better than him or just like him.

2288
01:40:32,600 --> 01:40:34,800
Speaker 4: Better, better, be better.

2289
01:40:35,960 --> 01:40:39,920
Speaker 5: Listen, take a moment, go hang that up on the center,

2290
01:40:40,760 --> 01:40:42,600
Speaker 5: wrong up there and.

2291
01:40:45,040 --> 01:40:56,360
Speaker 4: Yeah it's good. Yeah, put up.

2292
01:40:57,160 --> 01:40:57,559
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

2293
01:41:00,880 --> 01:41:01,960
Speaker 4: I won't see your name on there.

2294
01:41:04,479 --> 01:41:05,920
Speaker 7: Oh you didn't put your name on it?

2295
01:41:06,560 --> 01:41:09,559
Speaker 4: O good lord.

2296
01:41:09,800 --> 01:41:12,400
Speaker 5: We grabbed the microphone and pull it back up. I

2297
01:41:12,520 --> 01:41:14,599
Speaker 5: won't say much. How can we support y'all? Y'all got

2298
01:41:14,600 --> 01:41:17,240
Speaker 5: anything that's that's coming up? I know you got sixteen

2299
01:41:17,320 --> 01:41:20,320
Speaker 5: businesses counting county.

2300
01:41:20,400 --> 01:41:22,479
Speaker 2: You funny, how can we.

2301
01:41:22,479 --> 01:41:25,599
Speaker 4: Support these sixteen businesses? We got? What's the website?

2302
01:41:26,880 --> 01:41:27,240
Speaker 2: It is?

2303
01:41:29,520 --> 01:41:31,800
Speaker 1: Well, of course we're theying with on our socials.

2304
01:41:33,040 --> 01:41:33,400
Speaker 3: We are.

2305
01:41:34,560 --> 01:41:36,400
Speaker 2: We didn't get the touch on that. But he is

2306
01:41:36,760 --> 01:41:40,160
Speaker 2: a budget person. I'm the one that don't follow the budget.

2307
01:41:40,240 --> 01:41:42,080
Speaker 2: But we should be coming out of the e book

2308
01:41:42,280 --> 01:41:44,640
Speaker 2: pretty soon, so we will be talking about that on

2309
01:41:44,720 --> 01:41:47,080
Speaker 2: our page. And I don't know if he wanted to

2310
01:41:47,160 --> 01:41:49,960
Speaker 2: talk about what he has outside of them with Oh,

2311
01:41:50,000 --> 01:41:50,439
Speaker 2: y'all got.

2312
01:41:50,360 --> 01:41:53,120
Speaker 3: A comic show? They I do comedy as well, So

2313
01:41:53,160 --> 01:41:55,600
Speaker 3: I have a comedy show Arlington and prov On the

2314
01:41:55,720 --> 01:41:59,000
Speaker 3: second Dollars Comedy Club on the twenty seventh. And I'm

2315
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:03,439
Speaker 3: actually performing with brother Josh on the fourth in September

2316
01:42:03,479 --> 01:42:04,599
Speaker 3: and September and Fresco.

2317
01:42:04,760 --> 01:42:08,280
Speaker 4: So mister Hoover, Josh, not Josh, not Josh.

2318
01:42:08,800 --> 01:42:12,720
Speaker 3: The other Josh, other Josh. He was don't name, don't

2319
01:42:12,760 --> 01:42:16,439
Speaker 3: give me, don't give me. He's a young brother. He

2320
01:42:16,600 --> 01:42:18,479
Speaker 3: was actually on b c I. He was on the

2321
01:42:18,840 --> 01:42:21,280
Speaker 3: he presented the award. One it took off talking about

2322
01:42:21,479 --> 01:42:24,040
Speaker 3: I forgot it. He's gonna be mad Josh. But yeah,

2323
01:42:24,080 --> 01:42:25,559
Speaker 3: I don't know his last name. I'm sorry.

2324
01:42:25,920 --> 01:42:27,840
Speaker 7: Well, hopefully we can get invited to one of those.

2325
01:42:28,160 --> 01:42:31,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good that's a good one. September four,

2326
01:42:31,040 --> 01:42:31,840
Speaker 3: that's gonna be a good one.

2327
01:42:31,880 --> 01:42:32,840
Speaker 4: To September fourth.

2328
01:42:32,880 --> 01:42:34,040
Speaker 3: I'm hosting that one, so there'll be a.

2329
01:42:34,040 --> 01:42:36,519
Speaker 7: Lot of me good to come out and laugh with y'all.

2330
01:42:36,640 --> 01:42:37,639
Speaker 4: And is there a website?

2331
01:42:37,680 --> 01:42:39,800
Speaker 5: How can people follow your connect and find out about

2332
01:42:39,920 --> 01:42:40,840
Speaker 5: whatever events.

2333
01:42:40,600 --> 01:42:41,120
Speaker 3: You have going on?

2334
01:42:41,320 --> 01:42:43,920
Speaker 1: And saw, I have a Rebody Essentials. I got something

2335
01:42:43,960 --> 01:42:44,040
Speaker 1: for you.

2336
01:42:45,400 --> 01:42:48,840
Speaker 2: It's the hair grow Seerum and also hydration missed. Yeah,

2337
01:42:48,920 --> 01:42:49,960
Speaker 2: to help you if you want to cut your hair

2338
01:42:50,040 --> 01:42:53,920
Speaker 2: back out you last I'm talking about it now he

2339
01:42:54,040 --> 01:42:56,640
Speaker 2: looks like for real. Yeah, for real, I'm gonna come

2340
01:42:56,720 --> 01:42:59,600
Speaker 2: up fro like you said your son was.

2341
01:43:02,200 --> 01:43:02,599
Speaker 3: For real.

2342
01:43:03,080 --> 01:43:05,519
Speaker 2: But no, yeah I get that. But yeah it's Everybody Essential.

2343
01:43:05,640 --> 01:43:06,840
Speaker 2: So yeah, y'all check that out.

2344
01:43:07,120 --> 01:43:09,680
Speaker 3: Everybody Essential dot Everybody.

2345
01:43:09,439 --> 01:43:10,200
Speaker 1: Essentials dot com.

2346
01:43:10,280 --> 01:43:11,120
Speaker 5: This r i E.

2347
01:43:11,760 --> 01:43:17,160
Speaker 2: Body Essentials. It's a real business business where it was

2348
01:43:17,240 --> 01:43:17,639
Speaker 2: just going.

2349
01:43:18,600 --> 01:43:19,479
Speaker 4: That's the one he said that you.

2350
01:43:20,960 --> 01:43:25,760
Speaker 3: Come on, get the flower. Now he's gonna get some

2351
01:43:25,800 --> 01:43:27,719
Speaker 3: books were really selling news.

2352
01:43:27,760 --> 01:43:29,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, we're gonna sell them.

2353
01:43:29,840 --> 01:43:30,800
Speaker 4: My mama got a truck.

2354
01:43:32,280 --> 01:43:33,960
Speaker 2: I cannot go to the budget.

2355
01:43:34,000 --> 01:43:35,799
Speaker 7: And what do you like about the hair products?

2356
01:43:36,560 --> 01:43:38,360
Speaker 3: I like the way it smells. I was the first

2357
01:43:38,520 --> 01:43:41,720
Speaker 3: I was the first guinea pig. Yeah, so yeah, I

2358
01:43:41,880 --> 01:43:44,680
Speaker 3: use it. I use it, got the way you know what,

2359
01:43:44,800 --> 01:43:46,360
Speaker 3: Come on, you got to put the all on her.

2360
01:43:47,320 --> 01:43:50,360
Speaker 3: She has a body all she hasn't came out with yet.

2361
01:43:50,400 --> 01:43:53,000
Speaker 3: It's called number nine and it's yeah, I'm wearing it.

2362
01:43:53,720 --> 01:43:54,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, we think about doing.

2363
01:43:55,280 --> 01:43:57,160
Speaker 3: What I sell. So let's hold off on that one.

2364
01:43:57,200 --> 01:43:59,280
Speaker 3: Let's let me keep it a little bit. You know,

2365
01:43:59,400 --> 01:44:02,000
Speaker 3: like that's a because because you know I like the woman,

2366
01:44:02,840 --> 01:44:10,960
Speaker 3: you hold off on it.

2367
01:44:11,040 --> 01:44:15,840
Speaker 5: Hold oh man, well, thank y'all so much and listen

2368
01:44:16,280 --> 01:44:18,439
Speaker 5: live found. Make sure that y'all go to student of

2369
01:44:18,560 --> 01:44:21,000
Speaker 5: Love dot com. Make sure y'all purchase a book Student

2370
01:44:21,040 --> 01:44:24,320
Speaker 5: of Love. Also, we're going to be doing a lot

2371
01:44:24,360 --> 01:44:26,479
Speaker 5: of events in New York, so my New York audience.

2372
01:44:26,600 --> 01:44:29,880
Speaker 5: Every month we'll be doing an event in New York.

2373
01:44:29,920 --> 01:44:32,960
Speaker 5: We got one coming up Augusta, twenty first Friday, Oxta

2374
01:44:33,040 --> 01:44:36,360
Speaker 5: twenty first at Christian Cultural Center in Brooklyn.

2375
01:44:36,600 --> 01:44:37,559
Speaker 4: Make sure y'all pull up.

2376
01:44:37,560 --> 01:44:40,120
Speaker 5: We're gonna be doing events every month, and so we'll

2377
01:44:40,160 --> 01:44:42,639
Speaker 5: have a whole calendar, so those that want to travel

2378
01:44:42,840 --> 01:44:46,320
Speaker 5: out to Brooklyn, we love to see you. Matter of fact,

2379
01:44:46,320 --> 01:44:48,680
Speaker 5: I'm letting you know now in September, we're going to

2380
01:44:48,720 --> 01:44:51,280
Speaker 5: be doing event. I don't know if y'all know, but

2381
01:44:51,920 --> 01:44:55,240
Speaker 5: there's a National Day of Singles, a National Singles Day

2382
01:44:55,320 --> 01:44:59,000
Speaker 5: in September, September the twenty third, I believe. Let me

2383
01:44:59,080 --> 01:45:02,760
Speaker 5: look because I'm do an event in New York on

2384
01:45:03,040 --> 01:45:08,960
Speaker 5: that date. It's September the twenty sixth. September twenty sixth

2385
01:45:09,439 --> 01:45:13,200
Speaker 5: is National Singles Day. And so again I'm going to

2386
01:45:13,240 --> 01:45:16,360
Speaker 5: be posting a link letting y'all know what event we're

2387
01:45:16,400 --> 01:45:17,920
Speaker 5: going to be doing in New York, but it's going

2388
01:45:18,000 --> 01:45:19,920
Speaker 5: to be at CCC, and we want all of y'all

2389
01:45:19,960 --> 01:45:21,559
Speaker 5: to pull up all my single audience.

2390
01:45:22,680 --> 01:45:25,519
Speaker 3: May the love you share today outlive the season you're in.

2391
01:45:26,040 --> 01:45:28,719
Speaker 7: May it carry you through the days when words are.

2392
01:45:28,680 --> 01:45:30,960
Speaker 3: Few and faith has to do the talking.

2393
01:45:31,280 --> 01:45:32,320
Speaker 4: Y'all give it up for the Owens.

2394
01:45:32,400 --> 01:45:36,800
Speaker 3: Y'all. Right, y'all, y'all, let's see.

2395
01:45:37,280 --> 01:45:42,360
Speaker 5: Ladarian rusted suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen.

2396
01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:47,639
Speaker 5: My nephew, black a boy. The likelihood have been adopted

2397
01:45:47,680 --> 01:45:48,160
Speaker 5: outside of.

2398
01:45:48,200 --> 01:45:50,080
Speaker 3: Kinship slim to none?

2399
01:45:50,920 --> 01:45:55,960
Speaker 5: Rmione, sixteen years old, Black a boy with five years

2400
01:45:56,040 --> 01:45:58,519
Speaker 5: in the foster care system before I even knew his name.

2401
01:45:59,360 --> 01:46:03,000
Speaker 5: The likely hood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

2402
01:46:03,680 --> 01:46:08,200
Speaker 5: Slim to none. While Ladarian and our MONI were trying

2403
01:46:08,200 --> 01:46:11,600
Speaker 5: to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded

2404
01:46:11,680 --> 01:46:14,240
Speaker 5: falseter care system, I was living my own life, doing

2405
01:46:14,320 --> 01:46:17,479
Speaker 5: well professionally, having been a single father with a daughter

2406
01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:20,040
Speaker 5: who at that point was doing well in college. It

2407
01:46:20,160 --> 01:46:24,160
Speaker 5: was my time to live my life right wrong. I

2408
01:46:24,240 --> 01:46:30,160
Speaker 5: felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just too many of

2409
01:46:30,280 --> 01:46:33,960
Speaker 5: our Black children stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo

2410
01:46:34,080 --> 01:46:37,439
Speaker 5: of the Falter care system. In twenty seventeen, I legally

2411
01:46:37,479 --> 01:46:41,080
Speaker 5: adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen. I

2412
01:46:41,160 --> 01:46:43,320
Speaker 5: had no ties to this other young king, but I

2413
01:46:43,400 --> 01:46:46,439
Speaker 5: felt God instructed me to adopt him. Also in I O, Babe,

2414
01:46:47,320 --> 01:46:50,320
Speaker 5: Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right, Working

2415
01:46:50,400 --> 01:46:53,000
Speaker 5: with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring

2416
01:46:53,080 --> 01:46:56,240
Speaker 5: awareness to the countless young Black kings and the Falter

2417
01:46:56,360 --> 01:46:59,040
Speaker 5: Care system should have decreased my agitation.

2418
01:46:59,240 --> 01:46:59,360
Speaker 3: Right.

2419
01:47:00,200 --> 01:47:02,760
Speaker 5: Joining the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and

2420
01:47:02,960 --> 01:47:06,439
Speaker 5: organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in

2421
01:47:06,479 --> 01:47:09,000
Speaker 5: falsil care should have led to some type of resolve.

2422
01:47:09,120 --> 01:47:11,639
Speaker 4: Right, No, not at all.

2423
01:47:12,400 --> 01:47:15,800
Speaker 5: None of it felt like I had done enough. I

2424
01:47:15,920 --> 01:47:20,160
Speaker 5: now realized that every one of those experiences was land

2425
01:47:20,200 --> 01:47:22,599
Speaker 5: the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

2426
01:47:23,520 --> 01:47:24,360
Speaker 4: Kingdom Royal.

2427
01:47:25,280 --> 01:47:27,960
Speaker 5: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

2428
01:47:28,040 --> 01:47:31,200
Speaker 5: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

2429
01:47:31,240 --> 01:47:34,200
Speaker 5: the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

2430
01:47:34,320 --> 01:47:38,320
Speaker 5: person approach that instills identity empowers them to advocate for

2431
01:47:38,439 --> 01:47:43,040
Speaker 5: themselves and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options

2432
01:47:43,200 --> 01:47:47,639
Speaker 5: that they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings will

2433
01:47:47,680 --> 01:47:50,479
Speaker 5: attend the local public schools that are in proximity to

2434
01:47:50,560 --> 01:47:54,519
Speaker 5: Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum will broaden their worldview

2435
01:47:54,600 --> 01:47:58,559
Speaker 5: through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events, learning

2436
01:47:58,600 --> 01:48:02,760
Speaker 5: about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events and

2437
01:48:02,920 --> 01:48:07,560
Speaker 5: even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

2438
01:48:07,680 --> 01:48:10,920
Speaker 5: and even caring for our animals on our form and

2439
01:48:11,080 --> 01:48:15,400
Speaker 5: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

2440
01:48:15,680 --> 01:48:17,840
Speaker 5: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

2441
01:48:17,880 --> 01:48:19,280
Speaker 5: Now why two point eight million dollars?

2442
01:48:20,160 --> 01:48:20,320
Speaker 3: Well?

2443
01:48:20,360 --> 01:48:22,720
Speaker 5: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

2444
01:48:22,760 --> 01:48:26,639
Speaker 5: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

2445
01:48:26,920 --> 01:48:28,960
Speaker 4: One of the most notable successes.

2446
01:48:28,720 --> 01:48:31,719
Speaker 5: Was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty

2447
01:48:31,920 --> 01:48:36,160
Speaker 5: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is

2448
01:48:36,200 --> 01:48:38,479
Speaker 5: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in

2449
01:48:38,600 --> 01:48:42,680
Speaker 5: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So

2450
01:48:42,840 --> 01:48:46,840
Speaker 5: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect and I'm

2451
01:48:46,880 --> 01:48:49,840
Speaker 5: not maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time

2452
01:48:50,439 --> 01:48:53,400
Speaker 5: just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

2453
01:48:53,479 --> 01:48:56,880
Speaker 5: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

2454
01:48:57,080 --> 01:48:59,759
Speaker 5: that could have really established long term support for the homeless,

2455
01:49:00,640 --> 01:49:03,680
Speaker 5: or at least started a long term initiative to do so.

2456
01:49:04,800 --> 01:49:09,439
Speaker 5: This is my do over, This is our new beginning. Together,

2457
01:49:09,760 --> 01:49:12,960
Speaker 5: we can attack this at the route by specifically helping

2458
01:49:13,160 --> 01:49:18,040
Speaker 5: our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in

2459
01:49:18,120 --> 01:49:21,720
Speaker 5: the American fossil care system. I'm the Terisar Whickfield. I've

2460
01:49:21,760 --> 01:49:25,080
Speaker 5: been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work with

2461
01:49:25,160 --> 01:49:28,920
Speaker 5: the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite

2462
01:49:29,000 --> 01:49:33,599
Speaker 5: those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly providing

2463
01:49:33,680 --> 01:49:39,000
Speaker 5: the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com

2464
01:49:39,120 --> 01:49:43,839
Speaker 5: for more details, Crown a king and make a donation today.

2465
01:49:50,560 --> 01:49:52,960
Speaker 5: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future

2466
01:49:53,000 --> 01:49:58,840
Speaker 5: Wife podcast. Remember belt live intentionally and transparently and don't

2467
01:49:58,840 --> 01:50:01,840
Speaker 5: stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future

2468
01:50:01,880 --> 01:50:06,040
Speaker 5: Wife and YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify,

2469
01:50:06,040 --> 01:50:09,400
Speaker 5: and Stitcher. Be welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts

2470
01:50:09,400 --> 01:50:10,360
Speaker 5: with your friends and family.