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Speaker 1: Sex. We gotta talk about sex, are y'all? I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I'm not how y'all doing.

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Speaker 2: The reason why we curate spaces like this is to

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Speaker 2: be able to gain some intention, to be able to

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Speaker 2: gain some godly perspective on what it is we're looking for, so.

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Speaker 3: We can weed out carrier.

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Speaker 4: I think ultimately what I hear is a fear of

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Speaker 4: rejection male and female. We have to deal with the

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Speaker 4: root of that because in this it's a trial and error.

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Speaker 3: Oh that conversation didn't work out, but it ain't that.

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Speaker 1: Wrong with me. So you don't meet guys at all.

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Speaker 5: See, I have to get out more. I think my

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Speaker 5: husband might be a door dash or uber driver because

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Speaker 5: that's how I be in the house. So I need

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Speaker 5: to get out more, but mostly at church.

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Speaker 1: Do y'all feel that it's inappropriate to be approached at church?

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Speaker 1: How many y'all would love for a man to walk

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Speaker 1: up here and say, it's something about your spirit that

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Speaker 1: are tracking?

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Speaker 4: Y'all want somebody come up to you doing a CHURCHI lingo, Oh,

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Speaker 4: they're saying, no, we was about to go somewhere else

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Speaker 4: with this.

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Speaker 3: Let me talk to my daughters.

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Speaker 2: I did tell my wife return me on with sharpers.

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Speaker 3: He does say that, Churchy, how do.

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Speaker 1: You feel about a woman approaching you?

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Speaker 3: What did it come from? Like the rule that is

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Speaker 3: a no for women?

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Speaker 6: Oh?

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Speaker 1: No, I think that's just some old school stuff. I

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Speaker 1: believe men should pursue and not persuade, and a woman

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Speaker 1: should present and not pursue. A lot of women typically

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Speaker 1: want to be married. But let me ask y'all, jeorde,

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Speaker 1: do you want to be married?

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Speaker 7: I'm somebody's wife.

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you fellas, do y'all desire marriage?

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Speaker 8: I prefer to be more financially stable?

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Speaker 1: Is that a legitimate answer for y'all? Why not?

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Speaker 6: It's the point is to go on the journey. Then

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Speaker 6: why not do it together and then enjoy the money

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Speaker 6: when we get there.

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Speaker 9: I don't really want you to come to me and

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Speaker 9: say I'm trying to get financially stayed.

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Speaker 7: You don't have to be a millionaire, but be somewhere.

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Speaker 1: Sex. We gotta talk about sex. Are y'all avenue? The

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Speaker 1: Dear Future WIFEI podcast has global impact from.

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Speaker 6: Texas on this journey of healing and self discovery, and

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Speaker 6: this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

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Speaker 5: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 5: founding authentic spirituality, California.

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Speaker 2: I learned so much as a single man through your podcast,

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Speaker 2: and continue to learn so much as.

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Speaker 10: Now a married man Nigeria.

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Speaker 3: This is just therapy for me. You know, I've been healed.

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Speaker 5: I've been strengthening in my convictions on the sta to

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Speaker 5: do single hooptsa Amsterdam.

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Speaker 7: Way that you've shown us how it is possible for a.

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Speaker 9: Man to be as intentional as you are New Jersey.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 5: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 5: life after divorce to New York.

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Speaker 9: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give me.

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Speaker 3: Hope and courage that God does have a husband for me.

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Speaker 1: Discover, uncover and recover love. I'm a Terrisaar Whitfield and

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Speaker 1: this is season two of the Dear Future WiFi podcast.

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Speaker 1: We've seen his podcast.

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Speaker 2: We've seen how he's impacted culture, We've seen how he's

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Speaker 2: impacted men, We've seen how he's impacted women. We've seen

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Speaker 2: that he's given us hope for a future wifey and

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Speaker 2: a future husbie. And I'm excited because you know there's

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Speaker 2: some relationships you kind of got to work into it.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes it's forced, but I'm excited to have my brother

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Speaker 2: here tonight to be able to be a part of

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Speaker 2: this conversation. So can everybody stand down your feet and

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Speaker 2: go crazy for the let terras written?

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Speaker 1: How y'all doing?

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Speaker 6: Man?

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Speaker 4: This is about I need to let y'all sit beside him.

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Speaker 4: How you feeling, bro.

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling amazing. Yeah, you know what. I love the

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Speaker 1: name of this church. You know, when I was typing

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and I was telling people to tune in,

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Speaker 1: I was like typing the Purpose Place. You know, anytime

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Speaker 1: you drive up in this parking lot, you should feel

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Speaker 1: like you're walking into your purpose, if you're going into

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Speaker 1: a place where God is going to meet you. And

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Speaker 1: so as I was thinking about that, I was like, man,

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Speaker 1: I love that name. Where'd that name come from? I

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Speaker 1: know they ain't got nothing to do with the cost.

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Speaker 3: God, God.

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Speaker 1: The purpose Place. I mean that blesses my whole entire spirit.

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Speaker 4: The Purpose Place, you know, Honestly, one of the things

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Speaker 4: that we realized early in our marriage is that a

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Speaker 4: portion of our assignment is to push people into purpose

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Speaker 4: that was before we ever birth the church. Like when

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Speaker 4: we watch people who are on our team, people on

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Speaker 4: our staff, most of them, probably all of them, have

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Speaker 4: their own businesses.

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Speaker 3: They run their own companies.

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Speaker 4: Thriving because we're like, hey, we don't want you stuck

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Speaker 4: here for ever.

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Speaker 3: We want you to go and do what God has

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Speaker 3: called you to do.

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Speaker 4: So that is honestly, I don't even know if a

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Speaker 4: lot of our partners know that. That's when we were

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Speaker 4: praying about a name for the church, and we kept saying,

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Speaker 4: do we get.

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Speaker 3: To put church at the edge of it?

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Speaker 4: But honestly, Holy Spirit did not release us. It's a

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Speaker 4: place like it's a place where you go to be

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Speaker 4: launched into your divine.

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Speaker 1: Purpose, which is amazing because you'll to clap on that

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Speaker 1: when that's powerful, which is amazing because most leaders they

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Speaker 1: raised people up to stay, you know, and you're saying

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Speaker 1: that we're raising people up to be launched into their

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Speaker 1: destiny and their purpose. And so I love the heart

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Speaker 1: that y'all have to push people into their divine purpose

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Speaker 1: and know that you guys are just destiny helpers along

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Speaker 1: the way. So I love that. I love that we're

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Speaker 1: supposed to be doing a whole panel.

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Speaker 3: My bad, we do have a panel.

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Speaker 2: We got it, do let's let's get all panelists up.

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Speaker 2: Y'all ready, they said, we really, let's get all panelists

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Speaker 2: up on the stage.

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Speaker 4: To come and dall clap form as they come. That's

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Speaker 4: so churchy, clap form as they come. All right, we

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Speaker 4: got Brie and Joy. I ain't gonna start calling names.

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Speaker 3: That's all right with me. That's all right. Oh, we

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Speaker 3: got we got the doctor up there. That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: You want to grad says.

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Speaker 3: To Hi, It's that's Bri. Y'all. Y'all can let them down, Yes, yes,

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Speaker 3: bring them on.

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Speaker 2: That my god daughter.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: So what we're gonna do is just have everybody introduce themselves.

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Speaker 1: We'll start from the back and uh introduce yourself.

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Speaker 6: Okay, Hello, my name is doctor Crystal Woodruff.

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Speaker 3: I guess you put the doctor.

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Speaker 6: Yes you do, big earned doctor Crystal Woodroff. And I

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Speaker 6: am a biology teacher here in Spartburg, South Carolina.

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Speaker 3: So go Spartburg High School.

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Speaker 6: Go vikings.

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Speaker 3: O this single.

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Speaker 5: Hi you guys, I abree, I am just HERT thirty

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Speaker 5: in January thirty where you at? Okay, and I am

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Speaker 5: a mother of a beautiful baby girl named Journey.

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Speaker 8: Hi.

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Speaker 7: I'm Joy Watkins.

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Speaker 9: And I am a psychiatric nurse in Anderson, South Carolina,

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Speaker 9: and hey.

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Speaker 11: Where it is you can hello everyone. I'm Ricky Ricky

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Speaker 11: Neil and I'm a health character soult. But I'm enjoying

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Speaker 11: the work of from home.

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Speaker 8: Life and I'm the purpose woice.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean?

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Speaker 10: I'm yeary late, I'm normally god On that back camera, the.

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Speaker 1: Guys are soul. They just be like, Hi, my name

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Speaker 1: is Yeah. You know what, We're gonna have a very

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Speaker 1: impromptu conversation. We're gonna chop it up and talk. I

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Speaker 1: want to ask you fellas, do y'all desire marriage? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Go ahead?

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Speaker 8: Uh?

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Speaker 1: I just know you said absolutely.

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Speaker 6: Uh.

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Speaker 12: I was fortunate enough to be raised in a two

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Speaker 12: parent households. They did something that wasn't done for them,

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Speaker 12: So I want to be able to do that for

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Speaker 12: my children and continue the legacy.

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Speaker 1: Good. What about you, Ricky?

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Speaker 11: Yes, yes, I mean I think there's nothing like having

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Speaker 11: someone that's gonna build you up, somebody you know that

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Speaker 11: you're gonna build up as well. And you know, I'm

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Speaker 11: very single. So I'm coming home to you know, my.

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Speaker 10: Dog, myself, right, So it would be nice to.

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Speaker 11: Come home to, you know, my partner, somebody who probably

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Speaker 11: got a hot meal ready.

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Speaker 1: Or you know, stuff like that. You know, just that

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Speaker 1: that partnership.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, same opposite of him though, upping the single parent

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Speaker 8: household with my mom, so definitely got a different view

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Speaker 8: from where he got. So I would love to build

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Speaker 8: with someone and see where things go as long as

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Speaker 8: God said good.

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Speaker 1: How many single people do we have an audience? Raise

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Speaker 1: your hand? Single people make some noise? There it is.

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Speaker 1: It's like a mating call. To me, it sounds like

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Speaker 1: it's a mating call or something. Lord, how many? How

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Speaker 1: many married people do we have an audience? Yeah? There

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Speaker 1: it is? There? It is so so the Lenners, I

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Speaker 1: want to ask y'all, do y'all feel hopeful for this

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Speaker 1: generation as they are dating? I know that y'are curating

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Speaker 1: this conversation for a purpose, and so do you feel

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Speaker 1: hopeful with the things that you're seeing and what you

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Speaker 1: see on social media and whatnot? Do you feel hopeful

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Speaker 1: that this generation is going to be intentional on valuing marriage?

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Speaker 1: I absolutely do.

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Speaker 2: I believe that, like God is a divine orchestrator. But

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Speaker 2: you use the word that I was actually going to

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Speaker 2: use in response, and I think that if we are intentional.

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Speaker 2: A lot of times we enter into relationship spaces kind

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Speaker 2: of hapassionately and we'll just see what happens. And if

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Speaker 2: you don't direct yourself and do it intentionally, then life

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Speaker 2: happens to you. And I think a lot of times

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Speaker 2: without having that intention will cause us to be able

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Speaker 2: to end up in some spaces that could cause us

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Speaker 2: some pain. And so for me, the reason why we

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Speaker 2: curate spaces like this is to be able to gain

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Speaker 2: some intention, to be able to gain some godly perspective

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Speaker 2: on what it is we're looking at looking for so

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Speaker 2: we can weed out the suckers and in order period period.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask the women, because I find a

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Speaker 1: lot of women may not desire marriage. We think in

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Speaker 1: these spaces that a lot of women typically want to

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Speaker 1: be married. But let me ask y'all, Jory, do you

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Speaker 1: want to be married?

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Speaker 9: I absolutely want to be I'm somebody's wife.

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Speaker 1: Why do you desire marriage? Joy?

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Speaker 9: Well, I feel like I would love to build with someone.

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Speaker 9: So let me just put this disclosure out. I was

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Speaker 9: married before, and I was married for about fifteen sixteen

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Speaker 9: years and we grew apart, and that's okay. The second

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Speaker 9: time around, is going to last forever. But I do

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Speaker 9: desire someone to even grow more mature with to help

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Speaker 9: cultivate him as well as he cultivate me and the

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Speaker 9: gifts that God has put into me. So yes, I

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Speaker 9: desire to be someone's wife.

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Speaker 1: Joy, you said something important. You said we grew apart.

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Speaker 1: What does that mean?

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Speaker 7: So I think we dated.

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Speaker 9: We started dating when I turned seventeen, so that's a

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Speaker 9: very young age, and we got married when I was twenty.

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Speaker 9: So when I say grow apart, our lives just kind

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Speaker 9: of separated. I mean we just he wanted to do

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Speaker 9: his own thing and I couldn't continue to stay there

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Speaker 9: while he wanted to venture out and be his own

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Speaker 9: independent person, and I had to come. I had to

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Speaker 9: walk into my own independence because I was so dependent

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Speaker 9: on him.

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Speaker 7: I didn't have to I didn't have to.

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Speaker 9: Well, let me see, I grew up, but I didn't

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Speaker 9: have to want for a lot of things. So even

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Speaker 9: within that marriage, a lot of things was given to me.

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Speaker 9: So I also had to grow up in my marriage,

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Speaker 9: and so that could have been part of the reason

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Speaker 9: why we grew apart, because I was actually still growing.

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Speaker 1: So that's good. We're going to unpack that later.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I like her taking ownership. I think that's a

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Speaker 4: place of maturity.

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Speaker 3: A lot of.

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Speaker 4: Times you find and it probably came with growth that hey,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna accept my role in this, that

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Speaker 4: my responsibility. And I think that's a big, big part

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Speaker 4: of being prepared for what God has for you next

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Speaker 4: is that you just got to be real about what

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Speaker 4: you did exactly.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, Crystal.

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Speaker 6: You desire marriage, Yes, yes, I believe I was made

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Speaker 6: to be a partner. I was, Okay, So I'm raised

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Speaker 6: by parents have been together fifty plus years. Both sets

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Speaker 6: of my grandparents were together sixty plus years. I just

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Speaker 6: recently lost my grandmother, our last matriarch. She's she was

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Speaker 6: ninety four, and so I've always seen people be married,

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Speaker 6: work it out to the grave.

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Speaker 3: I didn't.

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Speaker 6: I didn't know there was any other way, and so

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Speaker 6: I got a little naive when I went into my marriage.

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Speaker 6: I just thought everybody was taught to do it that way.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, So I have.

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Speaker 1: The tools, you just need the person to practice it on.

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Speaker 1: She just need the person to practice it on that. Saymen, Brianna,

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Speaker 1: do you want to be married?

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Speaker 3: I do want to be married.

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Speaker 5: Why I think just seeing I would say my first

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Speaker 5: view of a healthy marriage wasn't until I was a

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Speaker 5: young adult. My mom didn't get married until I was

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Speaker 5: almost sweat twenty one. So just to be able to

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Speaker 5: grow with somebody and we disciple each other, like have

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Speaker 5: your own person.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask, y'all, I want anybody to jump in

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Speaker 1: on this, what is the most interesting way that you've

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Speaker 1: met someone? Wow? What is the most interesting way that

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Speaker 1: you met somebody? You know, there's always ways of sliding

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Speaker 1: somebody DMS, being on the dating site, meeting somebody in

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Speaker 1: the park, a lot at the church. Let me ask

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Speaker 1: y'alls the audience, do y'all feel that it's inappropriate to

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Speaker 1: be approach that church?

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Speaker 8: No?

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Speaker 1: How many y'all would love for a man to walk

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Speaker 1: up to you and say, it's something about your spirit

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Speaker 1: that attracted me to it was I saw you when

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Speaker 1: you were worshiping. I felt I saw it was something

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Speaker 1: about you. They can y'all wowt that.

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Speaker 3: I told.

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Speaker 4: I'm asking very seriously, y'all want somebody come up to

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Speaker 4: you doing a church? I lingo, Oh, they saying, no, bro,

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Speaker 4: Because I was we was about to go somewhere else

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Speaker 4: with this.

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Speaker 1: Let me talk to my daughters. I did tell my

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Speaker 1: wife it turned me on. When she shall he.

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Speaker 3: Does say that about where you're doing so churchy, that

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Speaker 3: is just so church.

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Speaker 1: That's what you told her. I told her it turned

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Speaker 1: you on with you was stouting.

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Speaker 4: He literally if I started h'alling be like that, they

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Speaker 4: just took me out the spirits.

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Speaker 1: This is the team we got mad. I didn't leave.

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Speaker 3: How church is that? I love it?

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Speaker 1: I'm in the bottom. I'm gonna ask y'all. So was

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Speaker 1: the most interesting way or place then y'all met someone?

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Speaker 1: Do y'all meet people?

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Speaker 10: Go ahead, I meet people.

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Speaker 12: The most interesting place I met a young lady was

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Speaker 12: at a photo shoot. You were doing a little fashion

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Speaker 12: photo shoot and I just came in and introduced myself,

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Speaker 12: and I noticed her out of the bunch, So we

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Speaker 12: just sat down and chopped it up a little bit.

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Speaker 10: That led to a date afterwards and Saturday.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you, did you approach her? Did you

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Speaker 1: strike up the conversation? I did? How do you feel

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Speaker 1: about a woman approaching you?

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Speaker 10: I have no problem with that at all.

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Speaker 1: That was a message anyone of you all out?

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Speaker 3: Where did that come from?

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Speaker 8: Though?

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Speaker 4: Where did it come from? Like the rule that is

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Speaker 4: a no for women, Like what, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think that's just some old school stuff I believe.

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Speaker 1: But see, I'm a shooter, so I'm an approach to woman.

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Speaker 1: So it's like it just put me in my whole.

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Speaker 1: It just thrown me off. Of a woman walk up

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Speaker 1: to me and be like, hey, so what's up, I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, hey, this is gonna make it's gonna make

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Speaker 1: me do that. I'm like, hey, I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to respond like that. So just just so, my my

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Speaker 1: quote is men should pursue and not persuade, and a

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Speaker 1: woman should present and not pursue. Say it again, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I said a man should pursue and not persuade, and

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Speaker 1: a woman shoul to present and not pursue. And what

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Speaker 1: that means is that you know how you meet a

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Speaker 1: guy and a guy tries to convince you that he's

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Speaker 1: the one, like, girl, just get me a shot. He's

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Speaker 1: doing too much if he If he approaches you and says, hey,

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Speaker 1: I think you're beautiful. My name is so and so,

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Speaker 1: so and so he asks for your phone number and

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Speaker 1: you're like, no, I'm not really interested. He like, see

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Speaker 1: that's why you ain't got no man now, and all

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Speaker 1: that he done, did too much right there. But and

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Speaker 1: for a woman, if a woman just sits there in

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Speaker 1: her glory, I didn't say, not speak to him. Smile

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Speaker 1: be inviting a lot of times the countess on your

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Speaker 1: face is none inviting. Where a man is like now,

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Speaker 1: she don't want to be bothered, but you do want

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Speaker 1: to be bothered. You want somebody to talk to you,

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Speaker 1: You want somebody to ask for your phone number. Your

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Speaker 1: face is advertising. So smile, be inviting. And so if

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Speaker 1: you smile, smile at him, look at him, give him

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Speaker 1: that long little stare and he goes. And then he

359
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Speaker 1: should walk up and be like, hey, how you doing,

360
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Speaker 1: you know, and be cordial. And so that's what I

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Speaker 1: believe in. That's my thoughts. But like my brother there,

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Speaker 1: he may like a woman to just walk okay the mask.

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Speaker 1: Would you like for a woman to just walk straight

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Speaker 1: up to you and ask you out?

365
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Speaker 10: Well, yeah, that depends on where we're going, But.

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Speaker 1: It depends on what.

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Speaker 10: It depends on where.

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Speaker 12: We're going, or she's you know, just trying to get

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Speaker 12: me to go drop some money on her, which is

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Speaker 12: unfortunately with some young ladies my age.

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Speaker 1: And we're gonna we're gonna talk about that. Oh, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna talk about that part. Oh yeah, we're gonna talk

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Speaker 1: about it. Oh my, my, my mine. Here we go,

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna talk about that. Yeah, we're gonna talk

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Speaker 1: about that. Please don't let me forget that, because that's

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Speaker 1: a that's a serious situation. Women, Where have y'all met guys?

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Speaker 1: Are y'all approached? Are men shooting a shot these days? Sixteen? Yeah,

378
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Speaker 1: think you're sixteen?

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Speaker 3: I just looked young. I guess I just looked like

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Speaker 3: you put your microphone.

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Speaker 5: I guess I just look like a teen parent, look

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Speaker 5: like you're.

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Speaker 1: Supposed to be on teen mom. Yeah, and so uh

384
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Speaker 1: so you don't meet guys at all?

385
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Speaker 3: I see.

386
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Speaker 5: I have to get out more. Okay, if I think

387
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Speaker 5: my husband might be a door dash or uber driver,

388
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Speaker 5: because that's how I be in the house. So I

389
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Speaker 5: need to get out more. But mostly at church that's boom.

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Speaker 1: What about on social media? Church booth?

391
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Speaker 3: Just get out, just get out of the house.

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Speaker 5: Let me see social media. Social media. I feel like

393
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Speaker 5: on social media.

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Speaker 3: D ms don't really work. I feel like men.

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Speaker 5: I guess my generation lead with sex.

396
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Speaker 1: In your ms.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they just the whole there is very sexual.

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Speaker 1: Yes, what happened? What do they say in your DM?

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Speaker 5: The sanitized version like excuse me, miss, I think you're beautiful,

400
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 5: but meet up with me tonight and not like it's

401
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 5: just very like you, like you, you want to meet up,

402
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,560
Speaker 5: not to go out, but meet up to like Netflix

403
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,680
Speaker 5: at chill like it's very like bold.

404
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 3: It's all of that, isn't it. Yes, I've heard that before.

405
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been hearing it. It's great, especially during COVID.

406
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:19,720
Speaker 1: You know they were as people as anyway, how have

407
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 1: you met guys? Joy?

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Speaker 9: The last relationship I was in, I actually met someone

409
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Speaker 9: on set. He's seen me on the screen and so

410
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Speaker 9: he came with some other guys that were actually filming

411
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Speaker 9: our show and we.

412
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Speaker 7: Met that way.

413
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Speaker 9: So I guess that's probably the most interesting way that

414
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Speaker 9: I've met a guy. But here lately I'm about like Brie,

415
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,919
Speaker 9: I just don't get out much and I should, but

416
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Speaker 9: I don't, and he might have to be at home

417
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Speaker 9: depot or lows of somewhere.

418
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Speaker 1: Are you open to social media for a guy? A

419
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Speaker 1: Sliger dem No, why not?

420
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Speaker 9: Because I feel like that is just so it's unattractive

421
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Speaker 9: to me.

422
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Speaker 7: If you're a man approached me, don't.

423
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,399
Speaker 1: But he don't see you in real life. He's just

424
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Speaker 1: see you on social media.

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Speaker 9: But still, but I'm sure there are a lot of

426
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Speaker 9: people that know me on social media that can reach

427
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Speaker 9: out like I just I don't know. I'm an old

428
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Speaker 9: fashioned I guess so, Jordan.

429
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Speaker 1: You said, guy right now, if he was following you

430
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Speaker 1: on social media, splitting your DM beginning to strike up

431
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Speaker 1: a conversation with you, not trying to Netflix and chill

432
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Speaker 1: like the dudes that being Rihanna dial. Wait, but I'm

433
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: talking about if they were just trying to have a

434
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Speaker 1: conversation with you, you were automatically disqualified.

435
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Speaker 9: I won't automatically disqualify if they come approachable, just not

436
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 9: say hey, girl, you fine? Like you just because they

437
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 9: do that, like you find it and I'm like, I

438
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,200
Speaker 9: know I'm pretty and not to be vain. I'm God's child,

439
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 9: so I'm beautiful. But if just again, if it's a

440
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 9: nice hey, how you doing, I could I'll start there.

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Speaker 1: So you add a little wrinkling your brain, you're willing

442
00:21:58,160 --> 00:21:58,920
Speaker 1: now to be.

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Speaker 7: Approached to them, I'll start.

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Speaker 1: You'll start, amen, I will at least respond.

445
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 7: I'm gonna be nice.

446
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 9: I'm very cordial, so I'm gonna at least respond, But

447
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 9: then if I see your conversation start taking a left turn,

448
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 9: then I'm going to automatically just dismiss.

449
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,200
Speaker 1: You automatically, Crystal, what about you?

450
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 6: Well, I'm a coach, so we usually it's at track meet,

451
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 6: someone's parent, another coach. He'll just come by and say,

452
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 6: you know, strike up a conversation. But that doesn't mean

453
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 6: it goes any much further because we leave the track meet.

454
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 3: And you go home, you know.

455
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, so how do you meet guys? Do you

456
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: meet guys at the grocery store? Do you meet guys elsewhere?

457
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 6: Well, I don't really walk around and hey, how you doing?

458
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 3: You know my name is But if someone's.

459
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,920
Speaker 6: I mean, I will talk to anyone who talks to me,

460
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,680
Speaker 6: and I will conversate with anyone who wants to conversate

461
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 6: with me. But I do read the room, and I

462
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 6: read between the lines, and I asked a lot of questions.

463
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 1: I love that that's your profession, So you're what was

464
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 1: your profession again?

465
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,439
Speaker 6: I'm a teacher, right right, But my doctorate is actually

466
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,360
Speaker 6: in chiropractice. So I've been in the business world and

467
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 6: now I'm in the classroom.

468
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,120
Speaker 1: So and so you say you asked a lot of questions.

469
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 1: Have you let me ask you this? When's the last

470
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:24,880
Speaker 1: time you've been on a date?

471
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 6: D I took myself out last week.

472
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: Amen, you gotta get it.

473
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 13: Chris, did you have a good time? Did you enjoy you?

474
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 6: I actually did it, but no one doctor dances with me?

475
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 1: But I had a blind So, Tasha, what recommendations you heard?

476
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: How people they said? You know, Joy started off saying

477
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: that she wasn't open to somebody sliding the DMS. She

478
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 1: had a change of heart through a conversation, a little

479
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 1: change of heart. You're a little hopeful, you know. You

480
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 1: hear Crystal talking about that, you know, on the track

481
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,720
Speaker 1: meet she may meet coaches and meet people, but it's

482
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 1: nothing serious. What would you say? Advice to your sisters

483
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: on how to make themselves more approachable, more datable, or

484
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 1: just broaden their the horizon on allowing more people to

485
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 1: approach them. Where should they go?

486
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 4: I think ultimately what I hear is a fear of

487
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 4: rejection from both sides, and I think when it comes

488
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:52,159
Speaker 4: to dating, you have to redefine that that though it

489
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 4: may feel like rejection, and I know this is going deep,

490
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 4: because rejection lingers in a place deep within our souls.

491
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 4: Were any little thing that says, hey, I don't like

492
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,199
Speaker 4: the way you look, I don't like your demeanor, I

493
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 4: don't like the way you talk, I don't like the

494
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 4: way this conversation felt, immediately goes back to that initial

495
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 4: place of rejection, and we spend.

496
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 3: Our lives trying to avoid that.

497
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 4: And I think a lot of times, most both male

498
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 4: and female, we have to deal with that the root

499
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 4: of that because in this it's a trial and error.

500
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 4: You know, it's the Oh, that conversation didn't work out,

501
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 4: But I ain't never wrong with me, you know what I'm

502
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,239
Speaker 4: saying that that date didn't work. Praise the Lord. I

503
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 4: didn't let that go any further. I'll be open to

504
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 4: the next one. I think that that intentionality about constantly

505
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 4: being open is something that you just have to you

506
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 4: gotta be intentional about. And then I think for people

507
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 4: like even Bree, who she looks sixteen but she's thirty.

508
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 4: So you've kind of been around in the game for

509
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 4: a little while, and I think we kind of get

510
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 4: stuck in seasons, but we have to move forward and realize, Okay,

511
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,640
Speaker 4: it's twenty twenty five, communication happens in a different way,

512
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,320
Speaker 4: you know, and I'm glad that you're open to it.

513
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,119
Speaker 4: I'm glad I think you being open and even taking

514
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 4: that little wrinkling your brain tonight to say, Okay, maybe

515
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 4: I will do a little bit, do this a little

516
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 4: bit different. I think that's required of everybody, you know,

517
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 4: when it comes to communication in twenty twenty five, because

518
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 4: we used to talk and now they like, who you talking?

519
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 3: Too old? Now? You know what kids say, They'll be like.

520
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 4: Somebody would come in my comments and be like, I

521
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 4: sent you a text yesterday.

522
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 3: They think DMS is text? Like that's what I'm serious?

523
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 3: How many y'all like that? Like you think, oh I

524
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 3: sent you a text? Are you that text me?

525
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: You don't have my number?

526
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 3: No, that's a DM that's in my generation.

527
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 4: You think you got it? That was just just my space,

528
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 4: you know. So I think we have to we got

529
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 4: to be open to different.

530
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 3: Forms of communication.

531
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 4: And now me and PK will challenge this a little

532
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 4: bit because a lot of people will tell you in relationship,

533
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 4: you know, you got to talk, talk, talk talk. We

534
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,959
Speaker 4: believe in talking, and we believe in conversation, but sometimes

535
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,720
Speaker 4: in order to open that door to a free flow

536
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 4: in conversation without offense. We will text one another yeah,

537
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 4: and you know, you know what I say In the

538
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 4: next few hours, maybe we should have a conversation about

539
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 4: what just happened. Have an open mind about several different

540
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 4: means of conversation. It may be that that person that's

541
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 4: trying to approach you might have a little nerves and

542
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 4: it's easier for them to text it out and then

543
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 4: when they see that you're open.

544
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 3: Now, may I have your phone number?

545
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 1: I love that. How many y'all have a fear of rejection?

546
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 1: Be honest, this testimony time all right? You know that's real?

547
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: And so what TOAs was talking about reframing how we

548
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: look at rejections. Always look at rejection as redirection. You know,

549
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,879
Speaker 1: everybody is not your person. So if I got to

550
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: shoot my shot at one hundred women to find my ones,

551
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: would you even care? After you find your wife, you're

552
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: gonna be like, yeah, you my wife. But the other

553
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,159
Speaker 1: hundred that didn't react to me, I just think I

554
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,399
Speaker 1: just got you because nobody else wanted me. You're not

555
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: gonna think like that. You're not gonna think about that.

556
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 1: You're gonna pray. You're gonna be happy, You're gonna be shouting,

557
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: you're gonna be testifying about how God did it. You

558
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. So, as you're on this road,

559
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 1: everybody's not your person. You gotta just accept that. And

560
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,199
Speaker 1: the beautiful thing about it is treat dating as just

561
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:31,160
Speaker 1: that dating data collection. You're getting experienced, getting a chance

562
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 1: to talk to somebody, get to experience, and what you'll

563
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 1: find out is that you'll be learning more about yourself.

564
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 1: You'll be learning about what you want you. You know what,

565
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: I really I thought I wanted a guy like this.

566
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: But like cause, you may have in your mind that

567
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: you want a god that's you know, make an X

568
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: amount of money, or some doctor, but then you find

569
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: out he has no time to even spend with you

570
00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: or even have a date with you. You go, you

571
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 1: know what, all my life, I wanted a doctor, and

572
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: I don't think that is what God has in store

573
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,239
Speaker 1: for me. And so you have to allow yourself to

574
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 1: experience people with no expectation. Now, that's the key, is

575
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: not to have expectations. Sometimes you sit down at a

576
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: table with somebody saying that's my husband, that's my husband. No,

577
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 1: that's somebody that was supposed to be your John the

578
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 1: Baptist before yo Jesus, whoa, it's the one that comes

579
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 1: before the one. But if you have a healthy prospect

580
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: or a healthy process dealing with them, then you'll be

581
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: able to learn what you need to learn from that

582
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: person and grow. And then you go okay now and

583
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: also be a student to yourself. If you find everybody

584
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: you're dating complains about the same thing about you, then say,

585
00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 1: you know what, I may need to go through therapy

586
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 1: and get that fix. So if God does bless me

587
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 1: with my spouse, I don't run them off because of

588
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: this unhealed trauma I've been dragging along for the last

589
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: fifteen twenty years. And so just have a healthy perspective

590
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: about dating. It's okay, sit down, break bread with somebody,

591
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: go to Starbucks, have a drink with somebody at Starbucks,

592
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 1: and just your way their company and get a chance

593
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: to know them. Fellas, are you a shooter? Do you

594
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: shoot your shop? Absolutely? I see one.

595
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 11: Yes, I've been rejected and I'm not ashamed to say that.

596
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 11: But like you just said, you know that just means

597
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 11: she wasn't the one for me. So I think, like

598
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 11: shoot a shoot, you know, like if you really want

599
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 11: to be in a relationship like and if you're really

600
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 11: like if you're you know, if you're really uh serious

601
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 11: about you know, pursuing your wife like there's there's really

602
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 11: no shame in it, you know. It's it's really about

603
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 11: showing up and being vulnerable. And a part of shooting

604
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 11: your shop is being vulnerable.

605
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, If you could describe yourself

606
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,440
Speaker 1: in three words, what would it be?

607
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 3: I'm adventurous, self aware, m h.

608
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 11: And somebody said, fine.

609
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 3: With me.

610
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 4: Come on, somebody, she said, she said word, she said,

611
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 4: I said, for.

612
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 3: You shoot your shot.

613
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:28,160
Speaker 2: You're a little follow through on it got dark skinned

614
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 2: man blushing up it. Go ahead and say it again.

615
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 2: So what's your three words again? Adventures, self aware.

616
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: And fine, go try and fine. So that's what you

617
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:55,400
Speaker 1: gotta say, is fine? And so have you always been

618
00:31:55,440 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 1: self aware? No, it's something that you have to grow into. Right.

619
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 11: So I'm a I'm a first generation college shooter, and

620
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 11: I think, you know, once I went away to school.

621
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 11: I'm originally from Lawrence, South Carolina, and I went to

622
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,479
Speaker 11: school in Atlanta. And so once I you know, actually

623
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 11: went to Atlanta, that's when moved away and got away

624
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 11: from my family, That's when I.

625
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: Started to become in touch with myself. So it took me.

626
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 11: Really just getting out out of my environment, away from

627
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 11: the people that I know and love, and had to

628
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 11: unlearn a lot of things so that I can be

629
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 11: in touch with myself.

630
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, clap clop. Self awareness is important. Self awareness can

631
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: save you a lot of unnecessary arguments by just being like, hey,

632
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: I was wrong, and they'd be like, wow, that was

633
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: I was ready to I was ready to argue with you,

634
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 1: and you just you just took the weapons away by

635
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 1: just being self aware, and so I respect that. Three

636
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: words to describe yourself, Trey, I mean tie you trade tie.

637
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: He looked around like, Trey, I don't know where tree

638
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: praise He. I guess they had a new person TI.

639
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 8: Three words observant, also self aware. But just came to

640
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 8: me over the recent year or so. And sometimes funny,

641
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 8: sometimes I'm not quiet, he said. Sometimes what do you

642
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 8: feel when you're dating? What you find the thing that well,

643
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 8: let me ask you.

644
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: Do you date? Yes? Okay? And what do you feel

645
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 1: is the common Is there a common thing that women

646
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: complain about with you?

647
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 8: Oh, it's it's kind of all the same. It's not

648
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 8: enough time, he says, not enough time. Yeah, it's a lot.

649
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 8: I have a lot going on. So yeah, the name

650
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 8: one of the humorous, just name one thing. I'm a

651
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 8: nosy too, So I real knows that have a ten

652
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 8: year old son?

653
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 1: Yeah that I don't have all that.

654
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 3: You have no time?

655
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 8: Yeah?

656
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: So what is that about? You're working or Yeah?

657
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 8: It's either work or have a ten year old that

658
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 8: I raised by myself.

659
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 1: So so how do you that's good? Shout out to

660
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 1: you father for yeah, shout out, shout out. So you

661
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: said that, So how do you feel like you're gonna

662
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 1: maybe if you knew the answer, you'll have someone? So

663
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:33,280
Speaker 1: how do you plan the balance finding space for that woman?

664
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 1: M hmmm, Because you said you have a kid and

665
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: you're a single father and you work. How do you

666
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: feel how would you prioritize that woman coming into your

667
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 1: life so she doesn't feel like you're not being intentional

668
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 1: with her when she shows up whole therapy session, ain't

669
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: no watch this right, that's the hard one up.

670
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 8: Yeah.

671
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:13,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, So what y'all say? Women? How would you what

672
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 1: advice would you give them? Sacrifice?

673
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 3: Scheduling, schedule it, schedule it.

674
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 1: Do you have someone that can keep your kid?

675
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 8: Yeah?

676
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:27,280
Speaker 1: And so so you don't have a problem, go ahead

677
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 1: and put the microphone close up.

678
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 8: Sorry, on weekends, I'm usually like gigging or something like

679
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 8: I'm playing bass somewhere.

680
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're you're doing so it's not like through

681
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: the week you said you're not ready. Do you feel

682
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: like you're ready? Yeah?

683
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,280
Speaker 8: But I prefer to be more financially stable.

684
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,440
Speaker 1: So all right, So he said something key. This is

685
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: this is the this is the number one go to

686
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: that men say, say that one more time. What did

687
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: you just say?

688
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,280
Speaker 8: I prefer to be more financially stable.

689
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 1: He prefers to be more financially stable. I hear some

690
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:02,839
Speaker 1: of y'all clapping, and some of y'all say, he don't

691
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: want nobody. So my question to you is this, is

692
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 1: that a legitimate answer for y'all? Why not?

693
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,320
Speaker 3: You're never gonna have enough money.

694
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:19,959
Speaker 1: You're never gonna have enough money. So would you allow

695
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: the women to unpack what they hear when they say that?

696
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,479
Speaker 1: And then I want you to say what you mean

697
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 1: when you say that? So what else you said? He

698
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:29,720
Speaker 1: does you never have enough money?

699
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 6: Yeah? I mean I just feel like, if if the

700
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 6: point is to go on the journey, Okay, if the

701
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,839
Speaker 6: point is to go on the journey, then why not

702
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 6: do it together and then enjoy the money when we

703
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 6: get there. What I've noticed is, you know, not everybody's

704
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 6: gonna be in the same financial place at the same time.

705
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 3: You're just not.

706
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 6: But sometimes your effort can match your pay, and my

707
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 6: support can match your your effort. I mean there's some

708
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 6: bartering that can go in there.

709
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 1: Some bartering. I love that. No, that's real. Joy. Does

710
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 1: this agree in your spirit? They don't seem like that

711
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: agree in your spirit? Do it? Joy, look like you're

712
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: gonna need some money to date? Joy, Joy said, I

713
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: don't need you to get it together. I need you

714
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 1: to have it together when you approaching me, Joey, am

715
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,240
Speaker 1: I reading your spirit correctly.

716
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 9: Wait a minute, Okay, right, so we're probably in different generations.

717
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:33,280
Speaker 1: Okay.

718
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 9: So for me, I am a forty seven year young woman.

719
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:42,799
Speaker 9: So I don't really want you to come to me

720
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,800
Speaker 9: and say I'm trying to get financially stable.

721
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 6: Oh that's not what I meant.

722
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:48,280
Speaker 7: Okay.

723
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 9: So his reasoning may be totally different for whoever he

724
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 9: may approach or date.

725
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 7: They can build.

726
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 9: But for me, you don't have to be a millionaire,

727
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 9: but be somewhere.

728
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 7: I don't want you to be trying.

729
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 9: I mean, be somewhere when you approach me, and then

730
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 9: we can get there together. But just I'm trying to

731
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 9: get financially stable, that'll be an excuse for me.

732
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 1: Okay. So now I want you to unpack that. It's

733
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 1: very common. So so I want you to explain what

734
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:23,439
Speaker 1: you mean by that.

735
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 3: We love you, everybody loves me.

736
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help you out. I'm gonna help you out first,

737
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: and I want you to jump in because I want

738
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 1: you to explain what that means. Well, a lot of

739
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: women don't understand is that we carry a huge burden

740
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: as men to be providers and protect us. Those two things,

741
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,839
Speaker 1: providers and protect us. And the minute that a god

742
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 1: decides to date you or be serious about you, the

743
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 1: first thing your family's going to say is what does

744
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 1: he do? You know? And men, we you know it's

745
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 1: not right, but we define ourselves by our occupation, what

746
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,760
Speaker 1: we do, and what our bank account says. I remember

747
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,799
Speaker 1: when I got married. Before I got married, I was

748
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 1: touring shows across the country, doing national plays. I got

749
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 1: married and as soon as as soon as I said

750
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: I do, two months later, all my money just dried up,

751
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:17,320
Speaker 1: and tours wasn't happening and all that. And I remember

752
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 1: as I began to start building again, I started sabotaging

753
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: my marriage, feeling like I didn't deserve to be married.

754
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 1: Why Because I started out saying, after I get a

755
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 1: certain amount of money in my bank account, I deserve

756
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,840
Speaker 1: to take on a wife. You know, back in biblical

757
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: days you can have as many wives as you could afford.

758
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 1: And so what happened was I was like, okay, let

759
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: me get my money together, then I could afford to

760
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 1: take a wife. Then when my money started drying up,

761
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 1: I said, I don't think I deserved to be married,

762
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,560
Speaker 1: and I started self sabotaging. And so the reality of

763
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 1: that is that's the real thing with men is to

764
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: be providers. And so my question to you is, unpack

765
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 1: what you mean when you said that.

766
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 8: Kind of what you said. I do want to be

767
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 8: in a place where so I do I own my

768
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 8: own business, I work for myself, and I want to

769
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,240
Speaker 8: start another one. So right now I am working towards

770
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 8: just starting that other one. And I don't. I don't

771
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 8: want to say I don't have the time to put

772
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:20,160
Speaker 8: into a lot of dating, but I don't want to.

773
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 8: I guess spend what a lot of people require a

774
00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 8: lot of money to take out?

775
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,240
Speaker 1: Why you feel like they require a lot of money?

776
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 1: But boy just said the same thing. Why you feel

777
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: like they require a lot of money to go out

778
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 1: to date?

779
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 8: There's a lot of times you go out, you meet

780
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 8: someone and just I mean, they'll they'll ask how much

781
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 8: money you make, Like they'll look at the clothes you're

782
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 8: wearing and be like, you don't make an iPhone clothes?

783
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 8: I need the women here, but they'll ask how much

784
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 8: you make, or they'll look at you and say you

785
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 8: you don't look like you make X amount of money,

786
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,880
Speaker 8: or because you don't have all the jury and stuff.

787
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: So do y'all do y'all believe that? Or y'all saying

788
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,439
Speaker 1: what type of women y'all meeting? Yeah?

789
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 2: Can I offer a suggestion, just a thought here too,

790
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 2: to the idea that maybe somebody's going like, I don't

791
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 2: make enough money right now? I believe that our relationships

792
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 2: are built to be fun fulfilling, and fruitful, And by

793
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 2: that I mean this could it be that the theme

794
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 2: that you're carrying because men men give seed and women

795
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 2: talking about produce and birth, could it be that your

796
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 2: seed is waiting for the right woman to produce the

797
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 2: thing that you're saying, I need financial stability, and God

798
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 2: is saying, well, I'm sending you a woman to get

799
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 2: you there. And a lot of times, as men, our

800
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 2: ego of be like na na, na, I gotta I'm

801
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: gonna get it on my own and and I don't

802
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 2: need that. But I watched God do something through my

803
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,919
Speaker 2: life because I sat on the keyboard and she held

804
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:54,839
Speaker 2: a microphone that produced the multiple.

805
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: You know what.

806
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 2: The impact in the in the in the world has

807
00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 2: just been immense. But I believe it started with me

808
00:42:02,719 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: saying my seed was worthy to be able to move

809
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: forward with a woman that could produce.

810
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,480
Speaker 1: That's real. See, the Bible says he will give you

811
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:17,200
Speaker 1: a suitable helper, and so to each man, Oh God

812
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 1: something to talk. So for each man, there's a suitable

813
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 1: helper for the vision that you have. And so I

814
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 1: pray that you get the level of discernment to be

815
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 1: able to discern that suitable helper because the very things

816
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 1: that you that God wants to birth in you and

817
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 1: through you that suitable helper come alongside of you in

818
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: ten x your dreams, ten ex your vision, ten ext

819
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 1: your business, and you'll be amazed by the Bible says

820
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,879
Speaker 1: one can chase away one thousand and two can say

821
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,800
Speaker 1: ten thousand demons of flight. That's ten x. So that

822
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: means that the minute you decide to marry somebody, they

823
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,320
Speaker 1: come alongside of you in purpose, in the purpose place

824
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,839
Speaker 1: and begin to bless your own levels you can't even imagine.

825
00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 1: But you have to open yourself up to like that,

826
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 1: because cause I think a lot of times we listen

827
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: to the ideologies of social media and all that and

828
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,400
Speaker 1: saying that a man has to make x amount of money.

829
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: And it's true, some of the women that you may

830
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 1: meet may be approaching you talking, trying to see what

831
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 1: you're wearing and all that. That's not heard though, that's

832
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 1: not your suitable helper. So when you hear that, you're like,

833
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 1: that's not the sound of my wife. My wife don't

834
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 1: sound like that. That's not the sound of my wife.

835
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: And so what I'm saying is that what I had

836
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 1: to start doing is praying for the sound of my

837
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: wife so that when I hear her voice, my spirit

838
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 1: wakes up and wakes up and be like, hold on,

839
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: it must be heard because the sound sound a whole

840
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: lot different. Because if I'm trying, I'm trying to go ahead.

841
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: If a single voice can wake up Lazarus from the dead,

842
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 1: then the voice of your wife should wake up purpose

843
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: inside of you, wake up something inside of you, visit

844
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 1: inside of you for you to be able to recognize,

845
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 1: to be like, that's her, that's her, and she'll be

846
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: able to hear the sound of the husband and you

847
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 1: and say that's my boot right there. So the reality is,

848
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: I don't want us operating in the spirit ram. We're

849
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 1: in the Spirit RAM. I don't want us operating in

850
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:16,400
Speaker 1: a carnality mindset because we're believers, we're Kingdom people. We

851
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: can't date the same way the world days. We have

852
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 1: to hear differently. We gotta see differently, we gotta move differently,

853
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 1: we have to submit differently, we gotta lay prostate differently.

854
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,880
Speaker 1: We gotta lift up the name of the Most High differently.

855
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,240
Speaker 1: We gotta bring the Holy Spirit into our dating lives.

856
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,240
Speaker 1: And so that's what I want you to do. For kings.

857
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: I want you to recognize the sound of a wife,

858
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 1: the sound of her, and don't get to sway by

859
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 1: the women that are not aligned with you past me

860
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 1: like you're not the one because the men you started

861
00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 1: saying the attributes of the women that were approaching you.

862
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: All the women that God said wrong women, they all

863
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: said I wrong one because they don't talk like that,

864
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 1: they don't think like that, they don't think like that.

865
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 1: So brother, I want to talk to you. You said

866
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 1: that a lot of women are like, Hey, what you going?

867
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: How much money you're gonna spend on me? How old

868
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: are you? How are you? How old are you? I'm

869
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:13,399
Speaker 1: twenty three, twenty three? Is you staying at twenty three

870
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 1: years old? The girls you are meeting are trying to

871
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 1: be in your pockets? Yes, so explain what what does

872
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,880
Speaker 1: that sound like? What are they doing? Well it?

873
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 10: I mean it's kind of subtle in a sense.

874
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 12: Because it will be that first day of the coffee

875
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 12: shop or where we go out to and we get

876
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 12: into each other's interests. I'm somebody. I'm big on financial literacy.

877
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 12: I tell them early on, I want to be retired

878
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,320
Speaker 12: no later than thirty five. I want to have the

879
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 12: choice to work, you know, by force or pursue my

880
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 12: passion and whatever that may be. But they hear that,

881
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 12: na see dollar signs. So it's like, Okay, where're we

882
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 12: going next? When we're gonna go downtown? Where we're gonna

883
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,919
Speaker 12: take a trip, When we're gonna go here, So.

884
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: I'm take a trip. Yeah, they want you to take

885
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 1: on a trip. Yeah, take a trip? Yeah.

886
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 12: I mean if I so, if you make it to

887
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 12: that second date, then it's a label for a boyfriend,

888
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:11,719
Speaker 12: girlfriend or whatever the case. Then it's when we're gonna

889
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 12: take a trip. One month anniversary.

890
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 1: What's up.

891
00:46:13,680 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 10: Let's go here, let's go drop some bread there.

892
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: It's you said one dasary for real.

893
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,280
Speaker 10: It's a little tough out here.

894
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: It's different.

895
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 2: It's different out here now, man, The're real different.

896
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 1: And so let me ask you this. Are you attracted

897
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: to a certain type of woman that reflects that?

898
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:41,479
Speaker 12: Oh, I mean, I'm not sure. I'm gonnattract the two.

899
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 12: I'm an attracted to the type of the type of woman.

900
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,720
Speaker 12: My mother was a natural woman, not a lot of makeup,

901
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 12: natural hair, about her finances, about her business. So when

902
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,839
Speaker 12: I'm looking for a woman, I'm looking for somebody that's

903
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 12: put together, you know, you may have on name brand

904
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 12: or something, but you smell good, you look good. But

905
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 12: more importantly, I'm going to find you someplace that we

906
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 12: have a common interest. That's why I met the young

907
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 12: lady at a fashion show, because we were both there modeling.

908
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,239
Speaker 12: I've met women in bookstores. I've met women at church.

909
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: Before you said bookstore, that's all right. You like to

910
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 1: read and stuff. Huh absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all right.

911
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 1: And so you said you met a woman at church

912
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: before I did.

913
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:24,200
Speaker 10: This was back in Houston.

914
00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 3: He's like pastor. It wasn't here, It wasn't.

915
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:32,880
Speaker 10: The purpose place is fertile soil.

916
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,319
Speaker 1: And so you say, at twenty three years old, you're

917
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:38,160
Speaker 1: mayorage minded.

918
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 12: Yes, because at twenty three I know that I want

919
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 12: to have children.

920
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:44,879
Speaker 10: I want to be able to provide for them.

921
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 12: But more than just providing, I want to allow them

922
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 12: to walk into a legacy that my father created a

923
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 12: family trust for us so that when he goes to

924
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 12: be with God in his kingdom, we have that.

925
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 10: So I'm trying to replicate that for my children as well.

926
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 1: Right, So man with visy, y'all, he is a man

927
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 1: with vision. So let me ask you this. Have you

928
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 1: placed in your mind when you believe you'll get married. Like,

929
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 1: have you said that I ain't ready now but by

930
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: twenty five? Or is there an age or you saying

931
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: I'm available now?

932
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 12: Well, if I'm being completely honest, and unfortunately, Aunt Cassandra's

933
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,520
Speaker 12: and then the house snipes backed me up because she

934
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 12: met a young lady that I brought to the Purpose Place.

935
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 12: I met her here and started dating for a few

936
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 12: months and learned very quickly after she prayed over us

937
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 12: what the power prayer can do, because we broke up

938
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 12: shortly after. But I say that to say again, the

939
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 12: purpose Place is fertile soil. So this is where I

940
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 12: come to sell my seed and supplication and giving back

941
00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:46,239
Speaker 12: money to my community and hopefully and finding my wife

942
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 12: one day.

943
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 6: Oh I love it.

944
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,720
Speaker 1: Is there an age range?

945
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 6: Is there?

946
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: What is your dating age range? Twenty three? What's the

947
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 1: youngest and what's the oldest?

948
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 12: Well this may shock a few people, but my youngest

949
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:03,839
Speaker 12: is now twenty four and my oldest could be twenty nine,

950
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 12: maybe thirty?

951
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:06,879
Speaker 1: All right? See one older woman?

952
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 10: Yeah, I want a mature woman.

953
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 1: Oh no, bug? One year? Would you be willing to

954
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 1: go up to thirty? Isn't when thirty thirty. You met

955
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: my God daughter.

956
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:25,879
Speaker 10: It will take me.

957
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 1: Let me let me ask all this for the people

958
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: that don't know. Let me ask y'all people that stream online,

959
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 1: how did y'all meet?

960
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 9: Yeah?

961
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: I literally told this.

962
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:44,240
Speaker 3: I had a chance to tell it on your podcast.

963
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 3: So I'll let him tell his version. Now they've been

964
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:47,760
Speaker 3: waiting till they've been waiting.

965
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:50,720
Speaker 1: We met at church.

966
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,840
Speaker 2: I was a music director at the church I was

967
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 2: at and they were holding especially event called Gospel Heritage,

968
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:03,160
Speaker 2: and she was actually there serving. This was before any records,

969
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 2: This is before any fame. This is before any of

970
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 2: that and my.

971
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:14,879
Speaker 4: Paws because prayer works, I had prophecies over my life

972
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 4: for years and years and years. My mother came home

973
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 4: one day she told me that people will know your

974
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,320
Speaker 4: name before they know your face. And I immediately and

975
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 4: my spirit start praying, Okay, got it. This is where

976
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 4: you're taking me, and there's going to be name in

977
00:50:25,719 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 4: lights platforms. I want to know that the person who

978
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 4: all married loves me for me, so I need him

979
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:37,560
Speaker 4: to know me before the fame. Literally, I would pray

980
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 4: that prayer. If I'm to be married, I need him

981
00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 4: to know me as top not as Tasha Cobs and

982
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 4: so that was an answer for guhabbit.

983
00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so it was definitely that. And now that

984
00:50:53,960 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 2: you said the thing about the sound, and I'll get

985
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 2: to that in a second. But one of the things

986
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 2: as a minstrel during that time, as I used to

987
00:51:00,719 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 2: always feel like this burden when I would play, like, man,

988
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,839
Speaker 2: I can see like these atmospheres and I can set it.

989
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:10,439
Speaker 2: And I knew how to do that, but I never

990
00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:13,600
Speaker 2: really had a worship leader that knew how to push through.

991
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 2: So we're at this conference and we do offering one

992
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 2: day and during the offering, this one gets something. Now

993
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 2: it's set, this is offering.

994
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 1: This one gets up and just totally destroy its mem

995
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:30,879
Speaker 1: what song you're singing? You man, what you're saying?

996
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 2: Chasing after you never forget it and had it come

997
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:37,360
Speaker 2: out I was an up tip or something yo, I'm talking.

998
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 2: Then laid up and down the altar. Some people face

999
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 2: on the floor, some people face on the It was

1000
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:46,799
Speaker 2: my line like you literally I was like yes, yes.

1001
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 4: During the yes backstory, I had been dealing with polyps

1002
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 4: on my vocal cords. So when I went to that conference,

1003
00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 4: I hadn't spoken. I could not talk the doctors had

1004
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 4: me on voice rest for two months. I was walking

1005
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 4: around with a dry race board. So when I opened

1006
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 4: my mouth to sing that song, it was the first

1007
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,800
Speaker 4: time I had done anything audibly in two months.

1008
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 2: Backed up for sure, my homeboys playing the drums. I

1009
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,400
Speaker 2: don't know how much he knew the Lord, but I

1010
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:25,120
Speaker 2: looked over the sticks was up the up under the

1011
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 2: bass drum. He was crying like that, it is real.

1012
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 2: So the next morning they had. The next evening they

1013
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:36,240
Speaker 2: were having this big, huge concert like Hezekai, William Murphy

1014
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 2: and everybody like you got him a clerk in everybody,

1015
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 2: you name it. And so we're in rehearsal the next

1016
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 2: morning and while we're in rehearsal, I'm playing the choirs

1017
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 2: in there singing, and I hear somebody bust through the door.

1018
00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 3: There was no door. This is where we disagree.

1019
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:57,640
Speaker 2: There was a door. Have you ever been into a

1020
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: building with no doors? You just walked in.

1021
00:53:01,600 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 3: I wasn't coming through the front.

1022
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,960
Speaker 4: I came from the back where the gym was, and

1023
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 4: the doors were open. If there were doors, I came

1024
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:09,759
Speaker 4: through a corra door.

1025
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:13,920
Speaker 2: You walked, you walked in And I'm playing and she's like.

1026
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 3: Stop stop stop stop you're playing as I mean, I

1027
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 3: was a little rough around the She was here.

1028
00:53:20,520 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 2: And she walked over to me and I was like,

1029
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 2: how you doing.

1030
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 1: My name is Kenneth. The octave just dropped like that.

1031
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: I was you gave me your car?

1032
00:53:36,120 --> 00:53:39,040
Speaker 4: He did, gave me his business card. I was like,

1033
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,360
Speaker 4: who is this dude? You need to beat my energy.

1034
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,839
Speaker 4: If I'm if, I'm screaming and caring, O, you need

1035
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:44,360
Speaker 4: to carry on.

1036
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 3: Why are you so calm? This is an emergency.

1037
00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 2: Piece is stronger than storms and so and so I

1038
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 2: gave you the car. We it was literally like one chord,

1039
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:03,400
Speaker 2: like we didn't even have to rehearse it. It just

1040
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:09,400
Speaker 2: happened anyway. But after that, I felt this real tug

1041
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:14,400
Speaker 2: to stay connected. It was completely platonic I had. I

1042
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 2: was just pray for me and that during that time

1043
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 2: I needed glory to.

1044
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 1: God was working on it, yeah, and I didn't want

1045
00:54:25,400 --> 00:54:27,359
Speaker 1: to pull a woman to God into what was going on.

1046
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:38,520
Speaker 2: Thank you God for being a redeemer. And we stayed

1047
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,040
Speaker 2: connected and we built this beautiful friendship. In a few

1048
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 2: months later, I believe uh Nika was uh hit me

1049
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 2: up and was like, you know, we releasing the CD.

1050
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, cool, I get you.

1051
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 1: Let's see the cool now.

1052
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:54,760
Speaker 2: Walk in church one day and it's literally people singing

1053
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:55,600
Speaker 2: these songs.

1054
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:59,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know you kind of blowing up? Did you?

1055
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 1: Did you even?

1056
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,040
Speaker 2: No, So, even to this day, to your point that

1057
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 2: you mentioned, it's kind of difficult for me to digest

1058
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 2: the celebrity and the fact that you're called to the

1059
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 2: world because I knew you before then.

1060
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 1: But that's that's how I meant. And so it was

1061
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 1: literally it was a sound. She began to sing, and

1062
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 1: you said you was wanting a worship leader, and then

1063
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:24,840
Speaker 1: in a moment where her voice was quote unquote restricted,

1064
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 1: God allowed it to be opened up, and then you

1065
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,800
Speaker 1: heard something from the heavenly And what was so powerful

1066
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:33,240
Speaker 1: about what you just said? You know, it's spiritual because

1067
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,319
Speaker 1: I don't know people being slain in the spirit during

1068
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: an offering, you know, and then God used her at

1069
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 1: that moment for you to recognize that. And so how

1070
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:45,040
Speaker 1: important because I want people to hear this part. How

1071
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: important was it to build friendship before romance? The Bible

1072
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: says don't wake in love before its time? And so

1073
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,239
Speaker 1: how important was it for you to build friendship with

1074
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 1: this woman to God before you decide to make it romantic.

1075
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 1: I think it was.

1076
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:02,840
Speaker 2: An utmost priority because because it's it's a solid foundation,

1077
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 2: right and now, when storms come, I still got my friend.

1078
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 2: That far that part, I got my friend. Watch this.

1079
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 2: The best part is when there are no storms, I

1080
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:18,440
Speaker 2: got my friend and we laugh and we joke and

1081
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 2: we cut up. And when it's time for us to

1082
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:24,280
Speaker 2: have to dig in and and and and build together

1083
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 2: and stay strong and stay anchored, we still have a

1084
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,399
Speaker 2: friendship to build on. And it didn't It wasn't led

1085
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 2: by sex or romance.

1086
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:33,879
Speaker 1: And that type thing.

1087
00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 2: It was built on us truly just getting to know

1088
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 2: each other and and and with the intention to get

1089
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,359
Speaker 2: to know each other, not let me get to know

1090
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 2: you so I can figure out how to you know, yeah.

1091
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 1: What about you? Tasha? How important was friendship to be

1092
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 1: the foundation?

1093
00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:51,520
Speaker 3: I think it was very It was very important for me.

1094
00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 4: Because of it started happening in a moment where I

1095
00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:58,959
Speaker 4: felt something.

1096
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 3: Big was coming. But let me say this.

1097
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 4: Though it was coming, I was also in a season

1098
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,360
Speaker 4: of darkness where I was dealing with depression. I was

1099
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 4: dealing with anxiety and to have someone there that I

1100
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 4: can be honest with who could know me in my

1101
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 4: darkest place.

1102
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:19,240
Speaker 3: I knew that.

1103
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:23,000
Speaker 4: If I could talk to him again tomorrow after sharing

1104
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:25,720
Speaker 4: what I shared the night before, and he can handle

1105
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:28,680
Speaker 4: that in a friendship, then he could definitely handle it

1106
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 4: in a marriage.

1107
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,440
Speaker 1: How did you balance that? How did you balance a

1108
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 1: friendship knowing that you know, because you may feel like,

1109
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 1: well we cool or whatever, but I want more. Did

1110
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 1: you ever have that feeling where you was like, oh,

1111
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 1: he's just a friend, but I'm really like I'm feeling.

1112
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 3: His brother, you know what. That didn't happen till later.

1113
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 4: Like I'm telling you, Kenny would be getting dressed for

1114
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 4: these dates, y'all.

1115
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: I was killing him.

1116
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,560
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, I see this is a nice denim suit.

1117
00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 4: He used to wear actual denims suits.

1118
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 3: With a vest.

1119
00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 4: Why are you wearing at the Red Lobster. I don't

1120
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 4: understand what's going on. So I was during the time.

1121
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:17,200
Speaker 4: I thought I was come on, ladies. I thought I

1122
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 4: was getting him ready for somebody else, But I was

1123
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 4: getting him ready for me.

1124
00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:22,720
Speaker 3: I didn't even know it. Like I was.

1125
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,920
Speaker 4: I was sharpening him or like putting him together like

1126
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 4: I would like it.

1127
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 3: For somebody else. But I had no clue.

1128
00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 4: Like, literally, I think it just dawned on us because

1129
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 4: many of you know our testimony Kenny Kenny. We know

1130
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 4: he got married to our baby mama. She probably watched Hey,

1131
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 4: shy cair got married, had babies, and I went my way.

1132
00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 4: Career started happening leading worship in Atlanta, and we actually separated,

1133
00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 4: We stopped talking for a while, all that kind of stuff.

1134
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 4: And I remember this this I even never said this

1135
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 4: out loud, but he was my friend during my dark season.

1136
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 4: But when it was time during his divorce and going

1137
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 4: through his dark season season, he called on a person

1138
00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 4: who he knew could handle that season, and so.

1139
00:59:09,760 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 3: He called me.

1140
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 4: It was like literally, the words were like I just

1141
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 4: need my friend, you know. And we hadn't talked in forever,

1142
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:18,560
Speaker 4: but that was what he said to me. And that

1143
00:59:18,720 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 4: was when, Okay, now there's a shift happening because there's

1144
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 4: much more to this than just hey, this is a

1145
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:25,600
Speaker 4: botonic friendship.

1146
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:28,920
Speaker 3: God is doing something with the two of you that.

1147
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 1: Is so important. How may y'all want friendship with your

1148
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 1: purpose partner friendship And we need to, we need to,

1149
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: we need to normalize that of having friendship. But sometimes

1150
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,920
Speaker 1: you'll try to push something fast to be like, well,

1151
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 1: what are we doing? You know what I'm saying, And

1152
00:59:44,920 --> 00:59:47,320
Speaker 1: he's like he may be like, I'm trying to build friendship.

1153
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,080
Speaker 1: I'm trying to build trust with you. I'm trying to

1154
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 1: build reliability. I'm trying to build a foundation. You know.

1155
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:54,360
Speaker 1: One of the biggest things that builders do is they

1156
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 1: make sure that that foundation on whatever structure they're building

1157
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 1: is solid. And so friendship. You're hearing it right now,

1158
01:00:02,440 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 1: the importance of friendship. And and sometimes y'all want the the

1159
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 1: fairy tale love, the romance, the eros type of love, uh,

1160
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:16,760
Speaker 1: instead of just building the the Yeah. And it's like

1161
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 1: you have to have a different mindset. And that's why

1162
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,760
Speaker 1: I say in the Kingdom of God, we have to

1163
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 1: have a different mindset when we date. I'm gonna go

1164
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 1: take it this way real quick. Sex. We gotta talk

1165
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:31,440
Speaker 1: about sex. Oh yeah, yeah, So we're gonna talk about this.

1166
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 1: How many y'all y'all are y'all abstinent?

1167
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:35,360
Speaker 8: Absin?

1168
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:42,520
Speaker 1: Yes? No? That is so goods over there? Yeah, move on, now,

1169
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 1: go ahead.

1170
01:00:44,760 --> 01:00:47,959
Speaker 4: I'm not I'm not talking.

1171
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: Stop bragging, y'all, Stop bragging. We over here, single, we

1172
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 1: struggling I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Crystal. Why are you just

1173
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,800
Speaker 1: spin around like that? You just spun around a chair?

1174
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 13: She got like a mic, Brokene, the mic is on.

1175
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 1: The mic is on.

1176
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 6: Y'all have broken like three pairs of perils.

1177
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 1: I passed, you passed. So let me ask y'all this

1178
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,720
Speaker 1: fellas y'all want to chime in on this conversation.

1179
01:01:23,800 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 11: I mean, so, I'm in a period in my life.

1180
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:30,919
Speaker 10: Where like, casual sex doesn't serve me, like you know, so.

1181
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 11: And I recognized that, and you know, I had a

1182
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 11: mentor that just told me that every time you lay

1183
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:39,280
Speaker 11: down like with the girl with the lady like like

1184
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 11: she takes a piece of your soul like, and so

1185
01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:43,760
Speaker 11: I just really took that to heart. As I'm as

1186
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 11: I'm you know, chasing after my personal goals and trying

1187
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:49,000
Speaker 11: to like build my life, I just have to realize

1188
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 11: that some things doesn't serve me, and casual sex was

1189
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:51,840
Speaker 11: one of them things.

1190
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 3: That's so good.

1191
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:57,400
Speaker 1: So let me ask you this. So, while dating, do

1192
01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 1: you ask if the woman is also aligned with the

1193
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:05,280
Speaker 1: practicing abstinence? Well, hold on, let's define what casual is

1194
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 1: because you know, I hear certain things differently. So what

1195
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 1: what qualifies as casual? So, I mean there's it's layers

1196
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:19,480
Speaker 1: to it. So one I think, you know.

1197
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 11: There's like one night stands, right, there's dating apps like

1198
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 11: you know on Tender where you can just you know,

1199
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 11: swipe right and people just looking you know, for it,

1200
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 11: you know, to get sex. And there are just moments

1201
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 11: where you know, even even women too, they I just

1202
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:36,560
Speaker 11: want this man for one night and you know, and.

1203
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 3: That's just it.

1204
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:40,000
Speaker 11: So it's just having sex without intentions of you know,

1205
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:41,280
Speaker 11: having a boyfriend or girlfriend.

1206
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:41,920
Speaker 8: Are getting married?

1207
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: All right, So boyfriend girlfriend? So would you So you

1208
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:51,680
Speaker 1: said boyfriend girlfriends, So you say casual outside of boyfriend

1209
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:55,800
Speaker 1: or girlfriend. So you're open to having sex if you

1210
01:02:55,840 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 1: were in a committed relationship with somebody before marriage. So

1211
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 1: I figured.

1212
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 11: I probably get myself in a little bit of trouble

1213
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:12,080
Speaker 11: in this countrydictory. But if I'm being honest, like yes,

1214
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:14,680
Speaker 11: like with the right person, like if someone who was

1215
01:03:14,760 --> 01:03:17,240
Speaker 11: invested in me and I'm just as invested in that person.

1216
01:03:17,040 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 1: Absolutely good. So what what I try to do in

1217
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:24,280
Speaker 1: settings like this is for people to be honest because

1218
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 1: a lot of times will give the church response to

1219
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:30,280
Speaker 1: church answer, and then a year later you got a baby.

1220
01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:32,320
Speaker 1: And then you're like, well, hold on, I thought you

1221
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:34,480
Speaker 1: were away to god man, how you got a whole kid?

1222
01:03:35,120 --> 01:03:37,160
Speaker 1: I lie, that's what I just lied to y'all. Yeah,

1223
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:40,040
Speaker 1: pregnant again. So be honest and be and thank you

1224
01:03:40,080 --> 01:03:42,440
Speaker 1: for your transparency. What about y'all up there?

1225
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 3: They like the doctor, They like doctor, they like.

1226
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 1: What was the question?

1227
01:03:52,040 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 2: Well, you said you ain't had no time sonna.

1228
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 14: Make tom sex? So tie, what did your what is

1229
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:08,640
Speaker 14: your view?

1230
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:17,040
Speaker 1: Uh sex as a single man, as a Christian single man?

1231
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:23,959
Speaker 8: Christians time, you don't have time.

1232
01:04:24,440 --> 01:04:31,120
Speaker 1: You don't have time to have sex? Y'all think telling

1233
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 1: the truth.

1234
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 8: I would say that, sorry right now, No I am not.

1235
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:45,959
Speaker 1: I do.

1236
01:04:47,720 --> 01:04:49,640
Speaker 8: I do know you're supposed to wait until marriage.

1237
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:50,360
Speaker 1: I do know that.

1238
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:56,840
Speaker 8: Now sometimes we fail in that. Yeah that's okay, but

1239
01:04:57,160 --> 01:05:05,920
Speaker 8: uh yeah, that's my answers answer.

1240
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:12,440
Speaker 12: What about you, king, I believe there is a season

1241
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:13,160
Speaker 12: for everything.

1242
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:19,120
Speaker 1: As I You got.

1243
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:23,000
Speaker 2: The most poetic big answer he could find with I

1244
01:05:23,040 --> 01:05:25,000
Speaker 2: believe in the green grass.

1245
01:05:24,680 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 1: In it.

1246
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 12: Without getting myself in too much trouble, though I did

1247
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:36,920
Speaker 12: mention I got out of a relationship recently. Here I

1248
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:39,640
Speaker 12: had a season on the sidewalk. Not out in the streets,

1249
01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 12: but on the sidewalk.

1250
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:44,960
Speaker 10: I adhere to crosswalk traffic.

1251
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:50,080
Speaker 12: But you know, I don't feel like God put us

1252
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,720
Speaker 12: on this earth to be alone. And like you said,

1253
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:56,360
Speaker 12: friendship is important. Sometimes friendship to some people means other things.

1254
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 12: I'm somebody who is open to that. But ultimately, when

1255
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 12: I pursue an intimate relationship with somebody, I want to

1256
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:06,000
Speaker 12: know you for more than just your flesh. I want

1257
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 12: to know what's in your mind. I want to know

1258
01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,880
Speaker 12: what was in your past, where our president is, and

1259
01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:11,000
Speaker 12: what you want your future to be.

1260
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:16,240
Speaker 1: That was so politically correct at the end, he said,

1261
01:06:16,440 --> 01:06:18,600
Speaker 1: I wasn't in the street, but I was on the sidewalk.

1262
01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 1: I was the whole crossing guard. I was a.

1263
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 2: I do want to offer this too. I believe this

1264
01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:33,960
Speaker 2: is a difficult thing, right. It's a struggle between our

1265
01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:38,160
Speaker 2: flesh and God. I believe that God always we talk

1266
01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:42,400
Speaker 2: about it at offering, but I believe He always honor sacrifice.

1267
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:47,520
Speaker 2: And the whole basis of this is what do we believe?

1268
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:51,120
Speaker 2: What we believe is called faith. Do you have faith

1269
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:55,360
Speaker 2: enough to believe that God would ordain this space that

1270
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:58,280
Speaker 2: when I make a sacrifice that when I put that

1271
01:06:58,360 --> 01:07:00,360
Speaker 2: ring on my finger and I enter it to a

1272
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:03,320
Speaker 2: covenant not with just this person, but with God, that

1273
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 2: he's gonna step in and fireworks. He's gonna step in

1274
01:07:07,600 --> 01:07:09,560
Speaker 2: and be more than I can imagine it.

1275
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 1: And I think it.

1276
01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:14,680
Speaker 2: Requires a huge dying to our flesh and crucifying our

1277
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,440
Speaker 2: flesh to the place where we live in a space

1278
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:19,560
Speaker 2: of faith of God. And I know that feels like

1279
01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:23,320
Speaker 2: a very churchy answer, but I believe. I believe and

1280
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:26,680
Speaker 2: have seen what happens when we make a sacrifice and

1281
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:28,360
Speaker 2: God will honor that sacrifice.

1282
01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:30,080
Speaker 1: We step out on faith and say.

1283
01:07:29,960 --> 01:07:33,320
Speaker 2: God, I'm gonna trust you because she is looking amazing.

1284
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:35,760
Speaker 1: She knew what she was doing.

1285
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:40,960
Speaker 2: But tonight, God, I'm gonna stick to my covenant with you,

1286
01:07:41,080 --> 01:07:44,640
Speaker 2: and in this season, this season, I'm gonna trust you.

1287
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:49,520
Speaker 1: That's real. That's real. I will never forget what God

1288
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:52,480
Speaker 1: told me prior to my marriage when I got married

1289
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:56,640
Speaker 1: at twenty eight and God told me at twenty four,

1290
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:59,520
Speaker 1: you'll never be faithful to your wife unless you first

1291
01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 1: become faith to me. Wow, And I was like, Ah,

1292
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:06,240
Speaker 1: that sound good, But I'm gonna see for myself. Like

1293
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:10,680
Speaker 1: ericel Fitzpatrick, and so of course I lived. I was

1294
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:13,960
Speaker 1: fortunicating with my wife off and on before she was

1295
01:08:13,960 --> 01:08:17,000
Speaker 1: my wife, and sure enough I got married. I didn't

1296
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:20,400
Speaker 1: exercise discipline in my single life, and so I didn't

1297
01:08:20,439 --> 01:08:22,360
Speaker 1: work that muscle. And when I got married, what do

1298
01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:24,759
Speaker 1: I do start stepping outside of my marriage and cheating

1299
01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:27,880
Speaker 1: on my wife? And so now hindsight being twenty twenty,

1300
01:08:27,880 --> 01:08:30,080
Speaker 1: I have to consecrate my flesh. I have to make

1301
01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:32,360
Speaker 1: my flesh die. I have to put my flesh under

1302
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:36,200
Speaker 1: subjection because God said, I'll never be faithful. You'll never

1303
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:38,360
Speaker 1: be faithful to your wife unless you first become faithful

1304
01:08:38,360 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 1: to me. And as single people, we are married to

1305
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:43,559
Speaker 1: Christ whether we like it or not, we're married to them.

1306
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:46,240
Speaker 1: And so if we decide to live a heart posture

1307
01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:49,880
Speaker 1: and the lifestyle of cheating on our heavenly father and

1308
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 1: our Savior, then we didn't work that muscle and that

1309
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:55,599
Speaker 1: muscle being disciplined so that we can be faithful to

1310
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,559
Speaker 1: our future spouses. That's what God told me. So I mean,

1311
01:08:59,479 --> 01:09:01,679
Speaker 1: I just believe. I believe in this go around because

1312
01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:03,640
Speaker 1: the first time I was wrong, I was I was

1313
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:08,320
Speaker 1: so wrong, very wrong. Amen, women, what are you all

1314
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,960
Speaker 1: viewpoints about that, Crystal says. She tapped out on that.

1315
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:15,080
Speaker 1: What is your what are your viewpoints on sex prior

1316
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:16,040
Speaker 1: to marriage? Joy?

1317
01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:21,559
Speaker 9: I'm abstinent, Okay, I'm about like listen, I done tried

1318
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:23,760
Speaker 9: it my way, right, so he let me try it

1319
01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 9: his way, amen? And so I am practicing discipline because

1320
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:31,240
Speaker 9: I don't want to again.

1321
01:09:31,320 --> 01:09:32,200
Speaker 7: I'm forty seven.

1322
01:09:32,320 --> 01:09:34,280
Speaker 9: I'm not going to be sitting up here passing myself

1323
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:37,400
Speaker 9: around to people that I meet. And then when I

1324
01:09:37,479 --> 01:09:39,720
Speaker 9: actually lay with my husband, now, I got to give

1325
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:41,760
Speaker 9: him a piece of me and everybody else that was

1326
01:09:41,800 --> 01:09:45,160
Speaker 9: in me. So that's not what I'm looking for, and

1327
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:49,320
Speaker 9: I'm looking for that in him. So I am not

1328
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:52,120
Speaker 9: going in their area right now.

1329
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,360
Speaker 7: And to God, say this is your husband?

1330
01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:57,639
Speaker 1: Amen? Amen, breath what about you?

1331
01:09:58,120 --> 01:09:58,920
Speaker 3: Similar to him?

1332
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:02,360
Speaker 5: I was driving with no license and the lord pulled

1333
01:10:02,400 --> 01:10:06,600
Speaker 5: me over and sat me down for forty weeks and

1334
01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 5: I had a baby.

1335
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:15,240
Speaker 2: So for me, rodden dirty, I was right, I have

1336
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:16,920
Speaker 2: no license on this boat.

1337
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:19,919
Speaker 3: He pulled me over for forty weeks.

1338
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 5: No, But I think for me, because I've always done

1339
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:26,559
Speaker 5: it wrong, I want I want to do it right,

1340
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:28,680
Speaker 5: and I don't want to I want to.

1341
01:10:28,920 --> 01:10:29,439
Speaker 3: I don't want to.

1342
01:10:29,720 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 5: I lost my conviction for it. Actually, so I wanted

1343
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:34,679
Speaker 5: to do I want to do it right.

1344
01:10:34,760 --> 01:10:36,720
Speaker 1: And that's real. I'm glad you said that you can

1345
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:39,559
Speaker 1: lose your conviction for it, because I know it's been seasons.

1346
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:42,959
Speaker 1: I'll just I'll be like, this ain't for me. Abstinence

1347
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:44,439
Speaker 1: is not for me. God, and put me on this

1348
01:10:44,479 --> 01:10:46,240
Speaker 1: earth to do this. This does not make sense in

1349
01:10:46,280 --> 01:10:48,880
Speaker 1: this big age. It just don't make sense. It just

1350
01:10:48,960 --> 01:10:51,120
Speaker 1: don't you know what I'm saying. And then God will

1351
01:10:51,120 --> 01:10:54,280
Speaker 1: be like Lateriri's like I need you to submit. I'll

1352
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:57,800
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, but you take too long. And so

1353
01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,599
Speaker 1: the reality is we may be withholding the hand of

1354
01:11:00,640 --> 01:11:03,000
Speaker 1: God because see, God's gonna teach you what you need

1355
01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 1: to learn, however you want to learn it, and so

1356
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:08,960
Speaker 1: you can prolong the lesson depending on how stubborn you are.

1357
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,960
Speaker 1: You know, some of us been felling grades, flunking, going

1358
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:14,599
Speaker 1: right back, repeating the same grade over and over and

1359
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:17,360
Speaker 1: over again. And God said, I'm trying to elevate you

1360
01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:19,599
Speaker 1: to another level, but you just won't learn what I'm

1361
01:11:19,600 --> 01:11:23,000
Speaker 1: trying to teach you right now. And so that's the

1362
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:24,960
Speaker 1: hard posture I'm in now to be like, you know what,

1363
01:11:25,160 --> 01:11:28,600
Speaker 1: let me just go ahead and just submit, let me sacrifice.

1364
01:11:29,439 --> 01:11:31,000
Speaker 1: Let me see what that feels like in my life.

1365
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:33,080
Speaker 1: Because I'll be absent for about seven months, and then

1366
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:37,920
Speaker 1: I'll fall off about a year, and I'll be absent

1367
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:41,479
Speaker 1: again eight months, fall off thirteen months. That math don't

1368
01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:43,880
Speaker 1: even make sense, doesn't It makes no sense, But it

1369
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:45,760
Speaker 1: made sense to me, you know what I'm saying. And

1370
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 1: so at the end of the day, I kept saying,

1371
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:50,200
Speaker 1: I said, God, okay, listen, I want to be in

1372
01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:54,439
Speaker 1: your perfect will, perfect perfect will. And a lot of

1373
01:11:54,439 --> 01:11:57,040
Speaker 1: times we forget what that means because we get so

1374
01:11:57,160 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 1: innundated with social media and our friends saying that don't

1375
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:03,719
Speaker 1: make sense and all that. I'll meet women to be like, hey, listen,

1376
01:12:04,240 --> 01:12:06,240
Speaker 1: we're too old for that. Like I'm gonna have to

1377
01:12:06,760 --> 01:12:10,040
Speaker 1: test it out before we get married, and so we'll

1378
01:12:10,120 --> 01:12:12,000
Speaker 1: I mean, they'll have all those type of conversations, and

1379
01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:15,719
Speaker 1: so it's not just men pursuing women in a sexual fashion.

1380
01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:17,519
Speaker 1: Where's women. At the same time, they're like, let's not

1381
01:12:17,520 --> 01:12:19,840
Speaker 1: got nees. You gotta do something, you know what I'm saying,

1382
01:12:20,240 --> 01:12:23,160
Speaker 1: And so they were laughing some of y'all testifying back there.

1383
01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:26,479
Speaker 1: So I showed it. I told them that last week.

1384
01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:30,679
Speaker 1: But and so the reality is that I just gotta

1385
01:12:30,720 --> 01:12:32,880
Speaker 1: trust God. How many y'all just want to trust God

1386
01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:35,000
Speaker 1: to just go around? Let's just trust God and see

1387
01:12:35,040 --> 01:12:37,559
Speaker 1: what happens. And we all know that the minute you

1388
01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:41,240
Speaker 1: begin to have sexual intercourse with somebody, you start getting foggy,

1389
01:12:41,439 --> 01:12:45,080
Speaker 1: you know, red flags, start looking pink. You know what

1390
01:12:45,120 --> 01:12:47,280
Speaker 1: I'm saying. You'd be like, I should have left a

1391
01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:49,439
Speaker 1: long time ago, but it was so good, and so

1392
01:12:49,479 --> 01:12:51,840
Speaker 1: you stick around a little bit longer. And so I

1393
01:12:51,880 --> 01:12:54,280
Speaker 1: want to have clarity in my thoughts. I want to

1394
01:12:54,320 --> 01:12:56,639
Speaker 1: have clarity in my discernment. I want to have clarity

1395
01:12:56,680 --> 01:13:00,000
Speaker 1: in how I move. As we get ready to wrap up,

1396
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,360
Speaker 1: were supposed wrap up aout nine o'clock, it look about time.

1397
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:04,840
Speaker 1: What would you like to say as you wrap up?

1398
01:13:04,880 --> 01:13:06,439
Speaker 1: I want to I want to start with you, Crystal,

1399
01:13:06,720 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 1: what is something that you would like to share about

1400
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:13,880
Speaker 1: what you've learned about yourself as you are single? What

1401
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:17,639
Speaker 1: have you learned about yourself during this single season?

1402
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:22,960
Speaker 6: Well, I am coming out of a twenty year marriage,

1403
01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:28,840
Speaker 6: so I really am learning who I am. I ask

1404
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:31,720
Speaker 6: myself daily. You know what do I like. I've been

1405
01:13:31,760 --> 01:13:36,080
Speaker 6: a mom. I have three girls in college at Watford,

1406
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:38,080
Speaker 6: so I've been a teacher.

1407
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:39,160
Speaker 3: I've been all these.

1408
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:43,080
Speaker 6: Hats, all these different things. So really, for the last

1409
01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:45,919
Speaker 6: year and a half or so, I've been asking myself

1410
01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:48,800
Speaker 6: some questions so I can go to the table and say, well,

1411
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,280
Speaker 6: this is who I am, and this is what I want,

1412
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:52,479
Speaker 6: and this is what I do, and this is because

1413
01:13:52,479 --> 01:13:55,439
Speaker 6: I've done so much for so many other people, I'm

1414
01:13:55,479 --> 01:13:58,320
Speaker 6: still trying to figure out exactly the part that I

1415
01:13:58,479 --> 01:14:01,400
Speaker 6: like and not that's the part that I enjoyed.

1416
01:14:01,400 --> 01:14:04,479
Speaker 3: Why I was there, So I.

1417
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:07,760
Speaker 1: Like that, I like that breathe. What have you learned

1418
01:14:07,800 --> 01:14:08,439
Speaker 1: about yourself?

1419
01:14:11,640 --> 01:14:14,160
Speaker 5: I've learned about myself that I don't have to count

1420
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:17,080
Speaker 5: myself out and I don't have to dumby down my

1421
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:18,639
Speaker 5: value because I'm a single parent.

1422
01:14:20,360 --> 01:14:24,840
Speaker 1: That's good, as somebody need to hear that. I want

1423
01:14:24,880 --> 01:14:26,960
Speaker 1: you to unpack that a little bit more. How long

1424
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:29,040
Speaker 1: did it take you to get to that place where

1425
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:31,400
Speaker 1: you didn't have to dumb yourself down because you were

1426
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 1: a single parent.

1427
01:14:32,920 --> 01:14:36,280
Speaker 5: I would say maybe around year three and a half.

1428
01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:40,120
Speaker 3: Almost four. So it's fresh for me.

1429
01:14:40,680 --> 01:14:44,320
Speaker 1: And what and why did you feel devalued.

1430
01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:50,200
Speaker 5: Because I feel like it's kind of shunned upon, Like

1431
01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:52,200
Speaker 5: if you date a woman with a kid, it's a

1432
01:14:52,240 --> 01:14:54,960
Speaker 5: lot of responsibility. And for me, I have a daughter

1433
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:57,760
Speaker 5: with special needs, so I feel like I already came

1434
01:14:57,840 --> 01:15:01,040
Speaker 5: with with a lot and it's a lie.

1435
01:15:01,439 --> 01:15:03,000
Speaker 3: So that will be my answer.

1436
01:15:03,360 --> 01:15:05,799
Speaker 1: Well, I pray right now that God grant you somebody

1437
01:15:05,920 --> 01:15:09,840
Speaker 1: special to handle your kid with special needs. I have

1438
01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:12,120
Speaker 1: the creed declare right now, from the crown of your

1439
01:15:12,120 --> 01:15:14,599
Speaker 1: head to the souls of your feet, that God fashion

1440
01:15:14,640 --> 01:15:16,280
Speaker 1: is a man that knows how to care for your

1441
01:15:16,280 --> 01:15:19,160
Speaker 1: heart and your child's heart. Right now, in the name

1442
01:15:19,200 --> 01:15:22,160
Speaker 1: of Jesus, every lie that the enemy has spoken over

1443
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:24,519
Speaker 1: your life, I come against it right now in the

1444
01:15:24,600 --> 01:15:27,599
Speaker 1: name of Jesus. No weapon formed against you shall prosper,

1445
01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:30,040
Speaker 1: And every tongue that has risen up against you shall

1446
01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:33,240
Speaker 1: be condemned. For this is your inheritance, because you are

1447
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:36,000
Speaker 1: a servantive God. In the name of Jesus, God is

1448
01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:38,960
Speaker 1: gonna bless you and blow your mind that when God

1449
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:41,360
Speaker 1: begins to open up the windows of heaven, He's gonna

1450
01:15:41,360 --> 01:15:43,719
Speaker 1: pour you out blessing. You don't have room enough to receive.

1451
01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:46,519
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a testimony. It's gonna be great. It's

1452
01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:48,839
Speaker 1: gonna be the goodness of God. It's gonna be God's

1453
01:15:48,880 --> 01:15:51,160
Speaker 1: best for your life. And as you begin to stand

1454
01:15:51,200 --> 01:15:53,560
Speaker 1: at that altar with that God given man that was

1455
01:15:53,600 --> 01:15:56,280
Speaker 1: standing in joint hands with you in holy matrimony, you're

1456
01:15:56,320 --> 01:15:59,559
Speaker 1: gonna be able to decree that it was nobody but God.

1457
01:15:59,760 --> 01:16:02,759
Speaker 1: It's nobody but God that restores your heart, that restores

1458
01:16:02,800 --> 01:16:06,400
Speaker 1: your mind, that restores your life. In the name of Jesus,

1459
01:16:06,800 --> 01:16:10,120
Speaker 1: in the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus,

1460
01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:14,519
Speaker 1: in the name, in the name of Me, in the

1461
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:17,360
Speaker 1: name of Jesus. I speak right now to the people,

1462
01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:20,519
Speaker 1: right now, as you begin to believe that God has

1463
01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:25,559
Speaker 1: forgotten about you, God has not forgotten about you. Let

1464
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:28,600
Speaker 1: me tell you right now, He's heard every prayer that

1465
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:32,320
Speaker 1: you prayed, every tear that was shed. He's bottled it up.

1466
01:16:32,439 --> 01:16:35,479
Speaker 1: He's waiting to bless you. I pray that your faith

1467
01:16:35,520 --> 01:16:40,720
Speaker 1: fails not. I pray that your faith fails not. Do

1468
01:16:40,880 --> 01:16:44,080
Speaker 1: not grow weary, and you're well doing, for in due

1469
01:16:44,160 --> 01:16:48,519
Speaker 1: season you shall reap. If you faith not keep standing,

1470
01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:53,519
Speaker 1: keep pursuing, keep counting on God, Keep believing, keep faithing,

1471
01:16:53,920 --> 01:16:56,680
Speaker 1: keep honoring God's word, keep so and sees for your

1472
01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:03,160
Speaker 1: next miracle. Keep blessing the faith of God. Keep blessing them.

1473
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:05,280
Speaker 1: The Bible says he that begin of the good work

1474
01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:08,920
Speaker 1: shall perform it unto the day of Christ. I want

1475
01:17:08,920 --> 01:17:12,599
Speaker 1: you to receive that in the name of Jesus, Heavenly Father,

1476
01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:16,960
Speaker 1: rain down in this place right now. God, rain down

1477
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:19,519
Speaker 1: in this place right now, in the name of Jesus.

1478
01:17:19,520 --> 01:17:21,880
Speaker 1: You said. It's not by power nor by might, but

1479
01:17:21,960 --> 01:17:25,960
Speaker 1: by thy spirit. Let your spirit overtake us right now.

1480
01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:30,559
Speaker 1: In the name of Jesus. We glorify you, We magnify you, God,

1481
01:17:30,600 --> 01:17:34,120
Speaker 1: We lift you up. You are Jehovah Jenre, you are Elohim,

1482
01:17:34,160 --> 01:17:36,360
Speaker 1: you are el Shada, You are Jehovah Ralphi.

1483
01:17:36,479 --> 01:17:36,679
Speaker 8: God.

1484
01:17:36,720 --> 01:17:39,759
Speaker 1: We worship you right now in the name of Jesus.

1485
01:17:39,760 --> 01:17:42,559
Speaker 1: You said that they that worship you shall worship you

1486
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:48,519
Speaker 1: in spirit and in truth. God, We will not lean

1487
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:52,120
Speaker 1: to our own understanding in all our ways will and

1488
01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:55,240
Speaker 1: we will acknowledge you and allow you to direct our past.

1489
01:17:56,160 --> 01:17:58,439
Speaker 1: We give you all the praise, the glory and the adoration. God.

1490
01:17:58,479 --> 01:18:00,799
Speaker 1: We thank you in advance for our pers His partners.

1491
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:06,639
Speaker 1: I speak right now for you to divinely connect us

1492
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:13,160
Speaker 1: with our purpose partners expeditiously this year God, Jesus, expeditiously

1493
01:18:13,320 --> 01:18:18,400
Speaker 1: right now God, in the name of Jesus, Kingdom couple

1494
01:18:18,479 --> 01:18:24,719
Speaker 1: shall arise, Kingdom couples shall arise, Kingdom couples shall arise

1495
01:18:24,960 --> 01:18:29,960
Speaker 1: and do great exploits. In your name, Man, in your name,

1496
01:18:30,040 --> 01:18:33,920
Speaker 1: Heavenly Father, we thank you. We thank you in advanced

1497
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:36,840
Speaker 1: for the testimonies that's going to come forth from this experience.

1498
01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:40,920
Speaker 1: In Jesus name, we pray Amen past.

1499
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:47,240
Speaker 2: Now listen, can we give God a hairdclap of praise

1500
01:18:48,479 --> 01:18:50,320
Speaker 2: for the gift of the terrorists.

1501
01:18:50,000 --> 01:18:50,760
Speaker 1: With phil.

1502
01:18:52,400 --> 01:18:54,920
Speaker 2: And everything that you poured out will be poured back

1503
01:18:55,040 --> 01:19:00,160
Speaker 2: into you in Jesus' name. In Jesus' name, do we

1504
01:19:00,240 --> 01:19:04,280
Speaker 2: give it up with these panelists as they go back

1505
01:19:04,320 --> 01:19:05,120
Speaker 2: to their seats.

1506
01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:10,519
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child

1507
01:19:10,520 --> 01:19:15,599
Speaker 1: protective services. In twenty fifteen, my nephew Black a boy

1508
01:19:16,200 --> 01:19:19,720
Speaker 1: the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship slim to

1509
01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:25,519
Speaker 1: none Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy with five

1510
01:19:25,640 --> 01:19:28,080
Speaker 1: years in the FALSI care system. Before I even knew

1511
01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:32,559
Speaker 1: his name, the likelihood have ever been adopted. Yep, you

1512
01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:37,880
Speaker 1: guessed it. Slim to none. While Ladarian and Ourmiani were

1513
01:19:37,880 --> 01:19:40,880
Speaker 1: trying to survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and

1514
01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:43,960
Speaker 1: underfunded false care system, I was living my own life,

1515
01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:47,080
Speaker 1: doing well professionally, having been a single father with a

1516
01:19:47,200 --> 01:19:49,479
Speaker 1: daughter who at that point was doing well in college.

1517
01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:51,639
Speaker 1: It was my time to live my life right.

1518
01:19:52,680 --> 01:19:52,960
Speaker 6: Wrong.

1519
01:19:54,040 --> 01:19:59,840
Speaker 1: I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just two many

1520
01:20:00,080 --> 01:20:03,519
Speaker 1: of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the

1521
01:20:03,560 --> 01:20:06,960
Speaker 1: limbo of the Falster care system. In twenty seventeen, I

1522
01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:10,960
Speaker 1: legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

1523
01:20:11,000 --> 01:20:13,200
Speaker 1: I had no ties to this other young king, but

1524
01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:15,800
Speaker 1: I felt God instructed me to adopt them also on

1525
01:20:15,880 --> 01:20:19,920
Speaker 1: al bate. Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right,

1526
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:22,760
Speaker 1: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

1527
01:20:22,800 --> 01:20:25,880
Speaker 1: bring awareness to the countless young Black Kings and the

1528
01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:30,400
Speaker 1: Falster care system should have decreased my agitation. Right joined

1529
01:20:30,400 --> 01:20:33,559
Speaker 1: the board of directors of Advantage Adoption and organization that

1530
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:36,960
Speaker 1: helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in Falter care

1531
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:41,040
Speaker 1: should have led to some type of resolve right, No,

1532
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:43,960
Speaker 1: not at all. None of it felt like I had

1533
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:48,639
Speaker 1: done enough. I now realized that every one of those

1534
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:52,559
Speaker 1: experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1535
01:20:53,479 --> 01:20:57,519
Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of

1536
01:20:57,560 --> 01:21:00,960
Speaker 1: the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

1537
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,800
Speaker 1: be in the Dallas Fortwork Metroplex. We will utilize the

1538
01:21:03,880 --> 01:21:08,200
Speaker 1: whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate

1539
01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:12,480
Speaker 1: for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless

1540
01:21:12,520 --> 01:21:17,439
Speaker 1: options that they thought were impossible. Though the young Kings

1541
01:21:17,439 --> 01:21:20,360
Speaker 1: will attend the local public schools that are in proximity

1542
01:21:20,360 --> 01:21:23,719
Speaker 1: to King of Royale. Our at home curriculum will broaden

1543
01:21:23,760 --> 01:21:28,000
Speaker 1: their worldview through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events,

1544
01:21:28,200 --> 01:21:32,559
Speaker 1: learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events

1545
01:21:32,680 --> 01:21:37,520
Speaker 1: and even relevant historical contexts, introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

1546
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,880
Speaker 1: and even caring for our animals on our form and

1547
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:45,400
Speaker 1: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

1548
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:47,800
Speaker 1: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

1549
01:21:47,800 --> 01:21:51,160
Speaker 1: Now why two point eight million dollars? Well, in twenty seventeen,

1550
01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:53,920
Speaker 1: I created a web series in which I performed random

1551
01:21:53,960 --> 01:21:57,040
Speaker 1: acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community. One of

1552
01:21:57,080 --> 01:21:59,599
Speaker 1: the most notable successes was that one of the videos

1553
01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:04,920
Speaker 1: went by IRA, garnering twenty eight million views. However, one

1554
01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:07,080
Speaker 1: of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a

1555
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:10,599
Speaker 1: single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan

1556
01:22:10,720 --> 01:22:15,479
Speaker 1: for the homeless community. So, throughout the years, with much remorse,

1557
01:22:15,880 --> 01:22:18,759
Speaker 1: I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment. I knew

1558
01:22:18,960 --> 01:22:21,759
Speaker 1: if at that time just ten percent of the viewers

1559
01:22:21,760 --> 01:22:25,160
Speaker 1: donated one dollar, we would have raised at least two

1560
01:22:25,160 --> 01:22:28,559
Speaker 1: point eight million dollars that could have really established long

1561
01:22:28,640 --> 01:22:31,839
Speaker 1: term support for the homeless community, or at least started

1562
01:22:31,880 --> 01:22:35,760
Speaker 1: a long term initiative to do so. This is my

1563
01:22:35,880 --> 01:22:40,000
Speaker 1: do over, This is our new beginning. Together, we can

1564
01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:43,959
Speaker 1: attack this at the route by specifically helping our homeless

1565
01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:48,639
Speaker 1: Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the American

1566
01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:52,600
Speaker 1: fossil care system. I'm the Terra Sarwidfield. I've been nominated

1567
01:22:52,640 --> 01:22:55,719
Speaker 1: for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless

1568
01:22:55,800 --> 01:22:59,720
Speaker 1: as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

1569
01:23:00,320 --> 01:23:04,640
Speaker 1: the greatest Award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

1570
01:23:04,840 --> 01:23:09,960
Speaker 1: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more details,

1571
01:23:10,520 --> 01:23:20,920
Speaker 1: Crown a King and make a donation today. Make sure

1572
01:23:21,000 --> 01:23:23,479
Speaker 1: to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel.

1573
01:23:23,640 --> 01:23:27,160
Speaker 1: We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

1574
01:23:27,400 --> 01:23:30,240
Speaker 1: You welcome your support. Simply share our podcasts with your

1575
01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:30,960
Speaker 1: friends and family.