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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Diffre Twipy podcast. My home is Tasha

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Speaker 1: and Kenneth Leonard.

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Speaker 2: Let's go.

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Speaker 3: Look at y'all.

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Speaker 1: First of all, let's play attention to this outfit. Where'd

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Speaker 1: you get this wrong?

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Speaker 4: I got this from Tasha.

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Speaker 3: Mine is too.

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Speaker 5: I got all my mini y'all stop charity with my

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Speaker 5: sister Jerry Bryant.

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Speaker 3: Don't be doing the thing. I'm so encouraged by you.

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Speaker 3: I love you. Said church girls were bad too.

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Speaker 6: How did y'all meet? I was MD for a conference

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Speaker 6: called Gospel Heritage. We're rehearsing for Vish William Murphy. As

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Speaker 6: we're rehearsing, praise is what I do? She busts through

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Speaker 6: the door, y'all playing the wrong song. Y'all playing the

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Speaker 6: wrong song? I said, hey, how you doing? My name

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Speaker 6: is Kenneth Lennard. We'll get it taken care of.

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Speaker 3: Most of that is true. There was no door. I

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Speaker 3: was still growing.

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Speaker 5: God was working on my character and personality. From that

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Speaker 5: moment on, we became the.

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Speaker 6: Best of friendsis. This was literally before any records.

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Speaker 5: There were so many prophecies coming in. My mother would say,

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Speaker 5: I saw your name and lights. People will know your

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Speaker 5: name before they know your face. And so I started

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Speaker 5: to pray a prayer that God, if I'm going to

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Speaker 5: be on platforms, then I would love to know my

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Speaker 5: husband and know who he is, so that I would

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Speaker 5: have no concern or worry about you, know whether he

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Speaker 5: has he has any motives or not, and so to

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Speaker 5: meet him before all of this blew up?

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Speaker 7: Was it?

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Speaker 1: What started as a search for understanding became a journey

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Speaker 1: of transformation. Every letter that I wrote led me to

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Speaker 1: this day, the day I got married November the twenty second,

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 8: Dear my forever, Forever is a long time. That's how

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Speaker 8: long I love you. Those lyrics echo through every fiber

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Speaker 8: of my soul at the very thought of you.

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Speaker 1: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 1: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 1: the award honor God placed before me, the recognition of growth,

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Speaker 1: healing and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 8: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 8: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 1: This isn't just our story, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 1: I'm the Terrassar.

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Speaker 4: Whitfield and I'm Ashley are Whitfield. Welcome to the podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Dear Future Wifie podcast. I'm your host of

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Speaker 1: Tarassar Whitfield and.

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Speaker 4: I'm your co host Ashley R. Whitfield.

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Speaker 9: Listen, are you still shacking up with us? Because if

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Speaker 9: you are, we's married. Now it's time to stop shacking.

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Speaker 1: And make a commitment. Listen. Make sure you hit that

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Speaker 1: subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you're tearing your notification bells.

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Speaker 1: You be notified about upcoming episodes. And while you're at it,

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Speaker 1: go ahead and like this episode. Listen on January thirteen,

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Speaker 1: where we leasing the books Student of Love. I'm so

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Speaker 1: excited about that. You know, I've always talked about love

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Speaker 1: isn't about finding the right person, It's about becoming the

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Speaker 1: right person. A lot of times we are trying to

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Speaker 1: find what we aren't ourselves. Uh huh so yeah, So

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Speaker 1: I want you to become the love that you desire.

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Speaker 1: So make sure that you click the link in description

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Speaker 1: and purchase the books Student of Love. As a matter

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Speaker 1: of fact, take a moment and watch this promo. Student

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Speaker 1: of Love releases January thirteenth. But I want to share

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Speaker 1: with you a voice memo I received via text from

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Speaker 1: my friend Rachel Silver. Now always hire Rachel when I'm

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Speaker 1: working on major projects to help me ide aid and

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Speaker 1: organize my thoughts and ideas. And I did that with

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Speaker 1: Student of Love, and she challenged me a lot with

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Speaker 1: some of my thoughts and ideas.

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Speaker 2: But listen, listen, listen, listen to this, Hayle Harris.

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Speaker 7: I'm super super excited because in a few weeks, I

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Speaker 7: am going to be.

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Speaker 3: A married woman.

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Speaker 7: And as I reflect not only just on the relationship

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Speaker 7: that he and I have, but just over the last

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Speaker 7: few years, how God has really placed people like you

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Speaker 7: on my life to just help to bring forth new

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Speaker 7: insight and new purpose and.

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Speaker 3: Help to bring for growth.

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Speaker 7: I've always known that we would create something that would

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Speaker 7: impact the world, but I didn't always know that we

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Speaker 7: would create something that would impact my world. And so

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Speaker 7: as we were working on our last project, as you

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Speaker 7: were sharing your stories and sharing you know, just about

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Speaker 7: being a Student of Love and just about navigating this

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Speaker 7: thing called love, it really allowed me to gain you insight.

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Speaker 7: It allowed me to process not just internally, because you know,

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Speaker 7: I was processing verbally too, talking to you.

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Speaker 5: About things as well.

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Speaker 7: And even when it wasn't about me, just really allowed

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Speaker 7: that space and I appreciate that. And even when I

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Speaker 7: didn't agree with everything that you were saying.

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Speaker 2: I didn't let me not. I agree with a lot

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Speaker 2: of it, but not all of it.

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Speaker 7: I was still like, well, you know what, let me

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Speaker 7: try this out. Let me see what this is like

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Speaker 7: in real life. And so I got to try that

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Speaker 7: out while I was dating. I was dating him, and

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Speaker 7: I'm like, hey, I guess.

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Speaker 2: You know, maybe Willie Terence is saying it's.

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Speaker 7: Working a little bit because apparently I'm getting married a

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Speaker 7: couple of weeks. So it's just really been cool, and

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Speaker 7: it's been cool applying the things that God has given

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Speaker 7: you in my life. And I'm just I just I'm

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Speaker 7: just really grateful.

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Speaker 1: What are you waiting on? Pre order this book now?

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited about today's episode. Y'all seen this dynamic

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Speaker 1: couple on the podcast when we did the podcast at

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Speaker 1: their church, and Tasha has been on the podcast individually,

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Speaker 1: but now we have the opportunity have both of them

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Speaker 1: on the Dear Future Wifie podcast. Welcome to the Dear

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Speaker 1: Future Wifeye Podcast. My homies, Tasha and Kenneth Leonard.

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Speaker 2: Let's go.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, listendin. You look relaxed. What does that mean to you?

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Speaker 6: It means no stress. It means that I've enjoyed the

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Speaker 6: fruit of good blessed me.

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Speaker 1: Amen. Thank y'all so much for coming to the wedding.

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Speaker 1: Uh that blessed us. I know. I told as I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, uh, Tasha and Kendle was not the podcast

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Speaker 1: was at the wedding and she was like.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I get to hug their necks or.

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Speaker 1: Whatever, and so thank y'all so much. What do you

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Speaker 1: think about that?

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Speaker 9: I just thought it was so amazing that they were there,

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Speaker 9: and I was very sad that I didn't get to

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Speaker 9: see y'all, but super happy by the video that you shared.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we had an opportunity to send a video from

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Speaker 5: the car, so you guys to let you know that

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Speaker 5: it was such an honor to be there, y'all. It

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Speaker 5: was so beautiful, like every moment was just laced with

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Speaker 5: God's presence. It was excellent, beyond excellent. I mean, it

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Speaker 5: was just absolutely amazing to be there.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 3: So thank y'all for inviting us.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, I know that when you're planning the wedding

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Speaker 1: and you're dealing with people that are you know, have

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Speaker 1: their own church that it's hard to get them away

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Speaker 1: from their church, especially with them having service on a Sunday.

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Speaker 1: And so even while we were planning it on a Saturday,

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, a lot of our pastor friends

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Speaker 1: may not be able to make it. So the fact

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Speaker 1: that y'all did really, really, really really blessed us. So

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Speaker 1: thank y'all for making a sacrifice. I appreciate you. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I asked you what you want to know about them?

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Speaker 1: I'm making I feel really uncomfortable because I want to

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Speaker 1: throw it on her to get her to listen. We're

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Speaker 1: talking to friends, so we're gonna chop it up and

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Speaker 1: we're gonna get a chance to Just so you want

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Speaker 1: to starting off.

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Speaker 3: I mean I did.

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Speaker 4: I did think you were going to start all right.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask you all real quick. First of all,

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Speaker 1: let's let's play attention to this outfit that.

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Speaker 2: Fun.

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Speaker 1: Where'd you get this wrong?

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Speaker 6: Well?

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Speaker 9: I got this from Tasha. She has a boutique store,

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Speaker 9: clothing store. But I think you should tell the people

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Speaker 9: more about it because I want them to see her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah look at that. Yeah, that dope, you know.

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Speaker 5: So we we opened a boutique and actually last year

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Speaker 5: we had a sneaker store, and I think we talked

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Speaker 5: about that for a while. That was in a franchise

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Speaker 5: and we had to take a pivot from that. You know,

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Speaker 5: in this season, these are changing and you want to

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Speaker 5: want to make sure that you're sensitive to what God

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Speaker 5: is doing in every and for us, it looked like

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Speaker 5: pivoting away from the sneaker store to do something a

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Speaker 5: little bit more intimate, something that spoke a little bit

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Speaker 5: more to the community that we're in and the people

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Speaker 5: that we serve. So this elevate boutique, you know, it

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Speaker 5: is has been absolutely amazing. One of the things that

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Speaker 5: I tell people often I probably would have been in

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Speaker 5: the world of fashion had I not been called to

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Speaker 5: minister and sing around the world. I just love fashion

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Speaker 5: and this gives me an opportunity. Though I don't style

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Speaker 5: people one on one, sometimes I do in the store,

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Speaker 5: but it gives me an opportunity to offer styling to people,

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Speaker 5: you know, whoever shops at the boutique. So it's been

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Speaker 5: absolutely amazing. On top of that, we use the location for.

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Speaker 3: More than that. Yeah, we put several things inside.

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Speaker 6: Of there, like it's an event space in there. Now.

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Speaker 6: We just had our first party.

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Speaker 2: That it was un.

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Speaker 1: Which I have what was going on.

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Speaker 6: It was a birthday party. So I call her my sister.

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Speaker 6: She's a Tasa's I think.

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Speaker 5: I think she's my sister and assistant. Her name is

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Speaker 5: joy Murdoch and if you want to holler, take a chance,

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Speaker 5: you can reach out to us. Joyce said, this is

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Speaker 5: her year twenty.

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Speaker 6: For you.

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Speaker 5: So Joyce celebrated her fortieth birthday and she wanted to

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Speaker 5: host it at Elevate. We call it Elevating Coal and

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Speaker 5: it's a flex space where we have an event center,

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Speaker 5: we have a podcast room in there, we have a

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Speaker 5: photography studio that we built all this out side walk

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Speaker 5: and so we built all of it out and it's

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Speaker 5: something that could also minister to the community. There are

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Speaker 5: so many creatives in the South Carolina area and they're

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Speaker 5: often looking for a space that provides something for them

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Speaker 5: to utilize their gifts, and so we want to be

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Speaker 5: able to provide that. So along with the clothing, we

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Speaker 5: also have other things available at Elevate, So you can

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Speaker 5: go to Elevate Coal dot online and shop right now.

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Speaker 3: We got some nic stuff in it, elevate co.

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Speaker 1: Don't got so many. I said, all right, just tell

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Speaker 1: me all everything you want and I pay for it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, mine is too, my little I got all my

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Speaker 5: mini solidarity with my sister.

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Speaker 6: Bryant.

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Speaker 5: Don't be doing the thing you're so encouraged by you.

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Speaker 5: I love you, sis, and we are standing because church

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Speaker 5: girls were bad too.

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Speaker 2: Come out and tell them, tell them, tell me so,

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Speaker 2: why do you think that is?

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Speaker 1: Why? You think that is where they say that Christian

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Speaker 1: women can't dress a certain way. I know spiritually they'll

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Speaker 1: say you have to be more modest, But what does

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Speaker 1: that mean in today's fashion?

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Speaker 5: You know, I think a lot of times, and I'll

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Speaker 5: let you speak to this baby too. I think a

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Speaker 5: lot of times we can take scriptures so far out

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Speaker 5: of context.

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Speaker 3: I think it is it.

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Speaker 5: Is key that believers learn how to study the Word

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Speaker 5: of God and get the context and the history behind

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Speaker 5: the scriptures that we use to beat people down on

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Speaker 5: social media. You know, I think often if we reflect

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Speaker 5: and before we post a comment, before we post something.

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Speaker 3: Does this say?

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Speaker 5: Am I representing the body of Christ with unity? Is

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Speaker 5: this something that I have to say? Is it something

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Speaker 5: that I have to post or is it just my feelings?

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Speaker 5: And how is the Body of Christ gonna benefit from

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Speaker 5: me posting what I feel? And it's not to say

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Speaker 5: that you don't post what you feel, but go to

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Speaker 5: God in prayer before you release something that's going to

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Speaker 5: cause an uproar to once again make the church look

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Speaker 5: like we're disunifying, you know. And so that's the first

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Speaker 5: thing I would like to, you know, to address. You

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Speaker 5: can have your feelings, and you can have your theology,

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Speaker 5: and you can have the things that you believe, but

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Speaker 5: when you put it out to the world, how is

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Speaker 5: it representing the Body of Christ?

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Speaker 3: That's what we think about.

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Speaker 1: Kenneth.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, and I think that in a lot

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Speaker 6: of ways, Like some people are so afraid of going

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Speaker 6: too far in a certain direction that they pull all

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Speaker 6: the way back. And here's what I mean. When I

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Speaker 6: was growing up, Uh, they didn't want us to go

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Speaker 6: to movies, they didn't want they didn't want to well lipstick.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all of that was the devil.

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Speaker 6: And I think that when we look at the splendor

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Speaker 6: of God and how that's represented, imagine if we lived

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Speaker 6: in a gray scale world. Imagine if He didn't do

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Speaker 6: everything excellent and we got, you know, trees with color

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Speaker 6: and all of these different expressions of life. And I

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Speaker 6: feel that as women they're able to do that. As

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Speaker 6: men we able to fly and express ourselves. And I

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Speaker 6: think it's an amazing thing. But besides that, as a man,

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Speaker 6: I'm attracted looking like a nun attracted to me. That's right.

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Speaker 5: I love that you mentioned the trees and God's the

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Speaker 5: beauty and how He's so creative and didn't create everything

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Speaker 5: the same. I think if we lean into that, everybody's

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Speaker 5: assignment is not the same, and who Pastor Carrie is

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Speaker 5: called to, doctor Carry is called to, it may not

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Speaker 5: be your assignment, you know.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: One of the leaders at our church, she's actually part

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Speaker 5: of our pastoral team now, and she tells a story

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Speaker 5: about we hosted an outdoor event and.

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Speaker 3: That was the first time she joined our church.

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Speaker 5: But she came to that event because she saw me

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Speaker 5: on a photo with Pastor Sarah and I had grills in.

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Speaker 3: My mouth like I would wear a grill. Okay, I'm

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Speaker 3: timet grill.

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Speaker 5: And that night I decided to go to one of

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Speaker 5: Pastor Sarah's woman involve events and I put my grill

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Speaker 5: in and she saw a photo and it drew her

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Speaker 5: to our church. It is so many different stories like

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Speaker 5: that where people I don't expect every first lady or

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Speaker 5: every woman to go out wearing a grill, but that's

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Speaker 5: my thing, and it attracts the people that I'm called

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Speaker 5: to that person yep.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, but she's hood and holy.

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Speaker 5: Agree with your mouth, I sure will, I will agree

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Speaker 5: with bought another one the other.

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Speaker 6: Day, coming in and droves.

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Speaker 2: I was watch so many grills. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: I think it's one of the things that Tasha is

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Speaker 6: called to stretch, and it's something she's been doing her

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Speaker 6: whole life. She tells stories about how she stretched her father,

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Speaker 6: who was, you know, a Pentecostal preacher who you know.

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Speaker 6: She tells the story about how he didn't want the

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Speaker 6: children to sing stop.

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Speaker 1: Everybody was against So, yeah, the churches.

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Speaker 2: I used to go and I'll play the drums in

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Speaker 2: my mini skirt.

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Speaker 5: Make and I'll be late enough to church because our

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Speaker 5: church was in another town, so I would be late

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Speaker 5: enough coming out where he couldn't make me go change.

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Speaker 3: I have all the many stirt like this and didn't

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Speaker 3: get happy.

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Speaker 11: I mean he would be like I told you.

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Speaker 2: I'm married to a stretcher.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, something I have to live out every day.

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Speaker 1: That's good.

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Speaker 6: But man, I feel like it turned real serious, that's all.

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Speaker 6: But but it helps me to stretch beyond what I

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Speaker 6: even see my own capacity as and become a lot

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Speaker 6: more than I would have ever imagined.

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Speaker 1: When did you realize that? Though at what stage of

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Speaker 1: your marriage, it was before marriage.

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Speaker 6: It actually is probably probably one of the things that

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Speaker 6: led me to marriage, because as a friend, she would

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Speaker 6: speak into me things that I couldn't see, and she

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Speaker 6: would say things like, that's not who you are, what

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Speaker 6: you mean, that's exactly who I am, exactly, and that's

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Speaker 6: not who you are. These aren't type of people you

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Speaker 6: need to have in your circle. They aren't people either

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Speaker 6: push you further towards pain or towards purpose, and their

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Speaker 6: pain partners, not purpose partners. And so she would speak

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Speaker 6: that kind of stuff to me. God has called you

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Speaker 6: for more than that. And even as a pastor, which

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Speaker 6: she pulled it out of me, but she pulled pastor.

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Speaker 6: She helped me to see, uh, the pastor in me,

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Speaker 6: But she didn't want to marry a pastor. She's very

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Speaker 6: adamant about it.

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Speaker 5: When I say trick Meess, you don't want to be

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Speaker 5: a pastor.

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Speaker 6: Even when she would ask me, she would be like, now,

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Speaker 6: are you sure you not a pastor?

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Speaker 2: I'm be like, no, what I.

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Speaker 3: Saw this man tricked me?

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Speaker 4: Why didn't you want to marry a pastor.

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Speaker 5: I've been serving pastores my whole life. My father started

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Speaker 5: passing when I was ten. I understood the weight of

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Speaker 5: responsibility that is on not just the past, but the

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Speaker 5: family getting rests on your house. There are there are

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Speaker 5: levels to the sacrifice you know, that comes with pastoring.

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Speaker 3: And I saw it with my mom.

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Speaker 5: I saw it with me and my brother, and I

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Speaker 5: saw it with my father as well, and it was

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Speaker 5: just not you know, at the end of the day,

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Speaker 5: I knew it was on me because I had been

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Speaker 5: serving pastors very closely my whole life. My father started

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Speaker 5: pastor when I was ten, and I moved to Atlanta

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Speaker 5: in two thousand and six, and I started to serve

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Speaker 5: with Mishop William Murphy immediately in the same capacity, almost

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Speaker 5: as an assistant pastor. And so I understand the weight,

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Speaker 5: you know, that comes with that. And then here he

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Speaker 5: come tricking me. But I was gonna retire.

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Speaker 2: He said, you spoke out of him.

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Speaker 3: They take take up.

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Speaker 6: It might have been delusion, like you've been serving pastors

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Speaker 6: your whole life.

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Speaker 2: The Lord has.

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Speaker 6: Literally groomed you for this. What would make you think

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Speaker 6: that you would marry a plummel god?

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Speaker 5: Isp No, But we love our church the Purpose place,

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Speaker 5: and you've been there.

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Speaker 3: I can't get away from.

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Speaker 5: Her space in Spartanburg, South Carolina, and it is just

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Speaker 5: absolutely amazing to watch, even since you've been there, to

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Speaker 5: watch what God is doing, it's just unbelievable. And in

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Speaker 5: a small town like where we serve, it is just

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Speaker 5: unheard of to see what God is doing in that community.

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Speaker 5: So it's just been a blessing.

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Speaker 1: What's the update on my You know what?

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Speaker 3: Bree had so many testimonies.

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Speaker 5: She just told us for New Year, she just closed

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Speaker 5: on a new space for her in Journey. She was

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Speaker 5: talking about Journey. He has a special needs baby, So

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Speaker 5: I don't know if we told you this. The background

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Speaker 5: story is Breeze my god daughter since she was fourteen

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Speaker 5: years old, and so I've watched the grace that's on

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Speaker 5: her life. She's an incredible inaccessor incredible worship leader.

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Speaker 3: Oh so powerful.

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Speaker 1: To somebody comment, I read it they.

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Speaker 5: Was like, that's yeah, yes, it's absolutely amazing. So to

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Speaker 5: watch how she's thriving and growing, it's just I expect

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Speaker 5: so much more.

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Speaker 3: You know what. She would not like for me to

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Speaker 3: share that because.

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Speaker 2: You know, okay, you feel like you know what I

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Speaker 2: pray for on that thing.

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Speaker 1: I said, I want to guy the linker with somebody

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Speaker 1: that is suitable for her, you know. And so I'm

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Speaker 1: just waiting for the manifestation because I believe there's a

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Speaker 1: unique individual that can cover a woman that has a

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Speaker 1: special needs child. So I just I'm just waiting, you waiting.

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Speaker 1: I'm waiting on.

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Speaker 3: It is awesome. She's gonna cry when she seated.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, listen, yes, oh Journey. That's a beautiful name.

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Speaker 6: Journey.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 1: So let's jump into this. How did y'all meet?

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 6: So she told the last time by herself.

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Speaker 2: Yes, she don't have no restraints.

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Speaker 5: It's only a slight one detail.

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Speaker 9: I watched the episode back and you did say that

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Speaker 9: he would tell it a different way.

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Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I'm gonna give it to you, right. So

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Speaker 6: we I was a musician in my former life, but

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Speaker 6: I was MD for a conference called Gospel Heritage, which

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Speaker 6: is led by Teresa Harriston, and Mitchell was actually over

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Speaker 6: the music, and he reached out to the m D

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Speaker 6: at our church and he actually placed me to be

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Speaker 6: m D over this thing. And so when he he

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Speaker 6: sent us the music and we learned the music, and this,

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Speaker 6: I mean, this is like the big finale, right, So

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Speaker 6: everybody's there, has a Kyle Walker, Juda McAllister, all the

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Speaker 6: Donnie McClerkin, Bishop William Murphy, like everybody's there, everybody. And

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Speaker 6: so they're doing this big finale concert recovering all their music.

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Speaker 6: And we're rehearsing for Bishop William Murphy. And as we're rehearsing,

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Speaker 6: praise is what I do. We were playing and I'm

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Speaker 6: talking it's loud, bro, you hear me, it's loud.

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Speaker 2: We got a choet, we got a band. It's loud.

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Speaker 2: And over all of that.

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Speaker 6: This is before in the ears where all my music

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Speaker 6: people wasn't loud, and over all of that, I hear. Okay,

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Speaker 6: what So she busts through the door.

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Speaker 5: Oh my goodness, guy, I'm gonna let you finish.

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Speaker 6: She busts through the door and stop Star stop y'all

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Speaker 6: playing the wrong song. Y'all playing the wrong song, and

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Speaker 6: so you know me, oh, you get to know me,

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Speaker 6: very peaceful person.

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Speaker 2: And so I hear this to my back, like I

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Speaker 2: can't even see who this is. But I stopped.

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Speaker 6: I stand up, I turned around. I said, hey, how

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Speaker 6: you doing? Oh on me like that? She said, hey,

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Speaker 6: how you doing? I said, hey, how you doing? My

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Speaker 6: name is Kennethlennick. Whatever it is, just just send it

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Speaker 6: to me. Here's my card. We'll get it taken care of.

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Speaker 6: And that's literally how we met.

445
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 5: Now most of that is true. The part that is not.

446
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 5: There was no door. I walked up a corridor in

447
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 5: a hallway, and if there were doors, they were opened.

448
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:37,480
Speaker 3: I never opened a door.

449
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 2: Because a.

450
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 3: University park, Carolina.

451
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 5: Y'all, y'all come in to comments, all right, because most

452
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 5: of the time, what I'm believing that if there are doors,

453
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 5: you guys leave them open for greater access.

454
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:54,080
Speaker 1: All right.

455
00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 5: So I walked through the hallway and they were playing

456
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 5: the wrong version of praise is what I do. Most

457
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 5: people don't know this, and Bishop Murphy is gonna appreciate

458
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 5: me for this.

459
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 3: There are two versions. There's one that he did with the.

460
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 5: Choir Chicago Chakaina, which is incredible, and then he recorded

461
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 5: another version at new Birth, and that's the one he

462
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 5: normally travels and he does.

463
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 3: So there's one that.

464
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 5: Goes boom bump bump, boom bum bump, crazies, what I

465
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 5: don't don't do.

466
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 3: That's the one that they were playing.

467
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 5: Were giving, were giving, and back back then, you know,

468
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 5: I was still growing. I was still walking into who

469
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 5: God created me to be. So I had these walls

470
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 5: and I had some you know, God was working on

471
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 5: my character and personality. I didn't have a lot of

472
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 5: patience seeking and I felt like I needed to fix

473
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 5: that quickly.

474
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 3: And it was loud, like he said.

475
00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 2: So I had to be louder than the music.

476
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 5: Charge here, and I will say that everything he said

477
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:06,160
Speaker 5: after that when he stood up, immediately he has always

478
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 5: been the calm to my storm, Like immediately everything, because

479
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 5: I'm like, who is this guy? You need to meet

480
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 5: me where I am here.

481
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 3: You need to match my energy? Who is this guy?

482
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 5: And he's literally been there And we started a friendship.

483
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 5: From that moment on, we became the best of friends.

484
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 5: I would get him dressed for dates. I think I

485
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 5: told you that and it was you can go even.

486
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 6: Even that that day, man, I was killing her with

487
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 6: I had on a three piece all dinner suit with

488
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 6: the stitching and I had to remember, has a walker.

489
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 2: You can't take it, she can't take it.

490
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 9: It sounds like she was looking out for you though

491
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 9: she was was like, that's the insistent themes.

492
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,439
Speaker 4: She was saying in your life. Yeah, she's always been

493
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 4: looking out for you.

494
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 9: Always sounds like I want you to do the wrong song,

495
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 9: to wear.

496
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 3: The wrong that's the thing.

497
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 9: It's really said, you somewhere looking out for you.

498
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 2: And I thank God for that. And then because who

499
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 2: knows where I would have been, where I would have been.

500
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 3: They're definitely church babies.

501
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: We would have loved church.

502
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

503
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 1: How long this platonic friendship left?

504
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, wow?

505
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 6: Five six years. So I mean she would get me

506
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 6: dressed for dates. So this was strictly platonic when we

507
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 6: started out. I got married, had a baby. Yeah, and

508
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 6: the baby was born on Tasha's birthday.

509
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 8: Wow.

510
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 5: We also have an older daughter, our oldest daughter, Alana,

511
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 5: and her birthday is on our birthday.

512
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 3: All three of us have I.

513
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 5: Tell him we started day and I said, I've been

514
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 5: giving you cues for years.

515
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 3: When's your birthday? July seven?

516
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 5: So both of our babies a our fourteen year old

517
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,600
Speaker 5: and our twenty three year old seven July seven.

518
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, so you can put my cash up right around

519
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 6: about May June.

520
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 3: Only in concept.

521
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 5: Yeah for me, I got to pay for them birthdays,

522
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 5: three of them.

523
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, and they don't want to do anything alike because

524
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 6: they're so far apart none of it. And one of

525
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 6: them want to go to check E Cheese, the other

526
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 6: one want to want to go on a vacation. Now

527
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 6: my oldest daughter wants to go on she's twenty three.

528
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 9: Okay, Yeah, So when you first met Tasha, what were

529
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 9: you thinking? Just in the ft, like, when you first

530
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 9: saw her, she walks down the corridor and she walks in.

531
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:48,560
Speaker 4: What were you thinking?

532
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,520
Speaker 6: I mean, I think at that time I was kind

533
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 6: of used to different personalities. But here's what impacted me.

534
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 6: That same conference, we were doing praise and worship.

535
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 2: We were doing offering, now.

536
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 6: That's the context. And she was doing an offering. She

537
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 6: opened up her mouth and sang chasing after you. Oh wow,

538
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 6: his was crazy. As she finished singing that song, people

539
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 6: were literally laid out. And when I say it, I

540
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,880
Speaker 6: mean literally offering, not figuratively laid out on the altar.

541
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 6: I felt led to stay connected to her because of

542
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 6: our purpose, and so as we did that, it just

543
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 6: was the beginning of God kind of developing where we

544
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 6: are now right where we're able to now partner our

545
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 6: ministries to be able to minister to the world. And

546
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 6: I don't know what that would because this was literally

547
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 6: before any any records, before Smile, before any of that.

548
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: It was just my friend tooster. She blew up on me.

549
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 2: I was like.

550
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 5: One of my prayers was always because there were so

551
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 5: many prophecies coming in about my mother would say, you know,

552
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 5: the Lord showed me that people will see your name.

553
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 5: I saw your name and likes people will know your

554
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 5: name before they know your face.

555
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 3: Like all of these prophecies would come.

556
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 5: And so I started to pray a prayer that God,

557
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 5: if I'm going to be on platforms, then I would

558
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 5: love to know my husband and know who he is

559
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 5: so that I would have no concern or worry about,

560
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 5: you know, whether he has any motives or not. And

561
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 5: so to meet him before all of this blew up

562
00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 5: was an answer prayer for me. And I will say

563
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 5: even for the offering moment, I I don't know if

564
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 5: I had a chance to talk about this. I had

565
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 5: poly ups on my vocal cords. So on my left

566
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 5: vocal cord in twenty thirteen, right after we release Break

567
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 5: Every Chain, I completely lost my voice. And I don't

568
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 5: mean like Horace. I was trying to speak and nothing

569
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 5: would come out. And I went to the doctor and

570
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 5: I had a poll up on my vocal cord. It

571
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 5: happened from a like a puncture, like a wound for

572
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 5: me sneezing from allergies.

573
00:29:58,680 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 3: I'll never forget it.

574
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 5: I was at Walmart, we got out the car, and

575
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 5: seasonal allergies, and I sneezed in like blood and that

576
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 5: caused like this growth on the vocal cord and it

577
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,200
Speaker 5: literally grew into the pole up and I had no

578
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 5: voice and I was walking around with a dry erase board.

579
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 5: I never forget the same, Tasha. So I had some issues.

580
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 5: I was screaming at my worship team, y'all sound a

581
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 5: mess on the dry e race board. And so I

582
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 5: had not spoken in over a month. That when I

583
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 5: sang that song was my first time releasing a sound

584
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 5: from my vocal chords in a month. And so God's

585
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 5: response to that was, you've been sitting with me in

586
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 5: silence in solitude, which is me and you. And now

587
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 5: watch what I'm gonna do and create from this prophecy

588
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 5: from this time with you. And I thought it was

589
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 5: just like, Lord, if I don't have no voice, what

590
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 5: do I have? And God was like, that's five percent

591
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 5: of what I've caused you to do, the gift. It

592
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 5: is more about your relationship with me. And so I

593
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 5: even wrote a song during that time, nothing can take

594
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 5: my prayse It's like I still, I'll make my praise

595
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,840
Speaker 5: resound no matter how I have to do it, even

596
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 5: if I don't have a voice. And so that day

597
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 5: he wrote a song with no voice yep, yeah, And

598
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 5: actually William Murphy recorded it because I didn't have a voice,

599
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 5: so he put it on one of his albums.

600
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 3: Nothing can take my praise, Not thing can hold me down.

601
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 5: I'll lift my voice and sing I don't make my

602
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 5: praise read sound.

603
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 3: You're gonna hear it again.

604
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 2: In that song.

605
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 6: Not knowing she wrote it, really yeah, it was years

606
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 6: later she was like, oh, yeah, I wrote that.

607
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 3: I never I was sitting in my car just crying,

608
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 3: like Lord, what do I do now?

609
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 1: My voice with no voice.

610
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 5: I'll make it resound some kind of way my praise

611
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 5: will be heard.

612
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I always love the story behind the song.

613
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:54,960
Speaker 6: Song.

614
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yep, yep, it makes you appreciate it so much more. Man,

615
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 1: it's just like she said, I'll lift my voice with

616
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 1: no voice.

617
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, crazy, Yeah, amazing.

618
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 1: So during that offering time you sung that was so

619
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: you had the pilots were healed. The polots were healed

620
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:16,440
Speaker 1: at that.

621
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 5: Point, so they weren't completely healed. The doctors were waiting.

622
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 5: So I had to go through voice therapy for two years,

623
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 5: which was absolutely a blessing because a lot of times

624
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 5: what we don't we don't put a lot of attention

625
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 5: in the gospel church on how much, how much we injure,

626
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 5: how much what's the word.

627
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: I'm looking at?

628
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 6: Its trauma.

629
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 3: So it taught me how to heal them.

630
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 5: It taught me I had to relearn how to laugh,

631
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 5: how to call, I mean, what not to eat, and

632
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 5: those things were Yeah, I don't cough. You train me.

633
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 5: So I will keep a bottle of water with me,

634
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 5: and if I feel like I need to cough, what

635
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 5: I do is I'll drink a gulp and it literally

636
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 5: clears out whatever the particles or whatever in your throat

637
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 5: and it took time.

638
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 3: Now, that took some time to.

639
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 5: Do, but right now I still practice that.

640
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: When you're hearing me.

641
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's traumatic to your vocal cords because when you're

642
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 5: doing that, they're actually hitting against each other and it

643
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 5: causes inflammation with your vocal corse. So same thing water,

644
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 5: You drink the water and it clears. Water is a

645
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 5: life save savor for anybody who does anything with their vocals.

646
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 3: I hear right now.

647
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 5: I have a burden for pastors, especially since he's been preaching,

648
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 5: because I just want to send all of them. You

649
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 5: need to do vocal warm ups, You need to do

650
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 5: vocal cool downs. This is what you need to stop eating,

651
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 5: you know, anything acetic and I know we love fruit,

652
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 5: but acid is not good for your vocal cords. You know, dairy,

653
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,680
Speaker 5: It causes phlim. It's not good for somebody. Need to

654
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 5: hear this today. It causes phlim on your vocal cords.

655
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 5: And in the Gospel church, we like the RACI be

656
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 5: sound most times it's not healthy.

657
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 3: It means that there's something there.

658
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 5: And I just feel like in our community we need

659
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,919
Speaker 5: to take better care of our communicators and our vocalists

660
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 5: so that our gifts will last much.

661
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 2: Longer, and I'm just.

662
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 3: A good job.

663
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 6: He does.

664
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,840
Speaker 3: What's a little thing you've been using? He uses like

665
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 3: this thing every Sunday.

666
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 6: It's something similar to that. I'm trying to remember the

667
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 6: name of it. Uh doctor vox.

668
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 3: Oh it's so good human panther.

669
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 5: But yes, it works wonders for anybody. So even when

670
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 5: you prepare for your your sessions and your podcasts, I

671
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 5: would say, do some vocal warm ups, do some cool downs,

672
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,280
Speaker 5: because just like my uh my voice coach, she calls

673
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,879
Speaker 5: us vocal athletes. So just like an athlete with warm

674
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 5: up before a game and cool down after a game,

675
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 5: we have to do the same thing.

676
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:01,240
Speaker 3: It's muscles.

677
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, and see we used to do that in theater.

678
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 1: And then while I'm doing the podcast, I just don't

679
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,360
Speaker 1: even do that at all. And then we always do

680
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,799
Speaker 1: vocal warm ups. We do it the whole time. And

681
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: then I say on the podcast, I'm like, I'm just talking.

682
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,319
Speaker 1: I don't never do vocal warm ups when I wake

683
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 1: up and talk to somebody, So lessen the benefit of that,

684
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: And so thank you for encouraging us to do that. Yeah,

685
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 1: We're gonna be doing all that stuff.

686
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 9: Yeah, in addition to taking care of your voice and communication.

687
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 4: You guys also take care of your bodies.

688
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 9: Yeah. Yeah, we've been watching you on social media. I

689
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 9: know that's a big part of your relationship. So can

690
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,480
Speaker 9: you tell us a little bit about like your journey

691
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 9: and what fitness and health mean to you guys?

692
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 2: Oh?

693
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 3: Absolutely, you want me to start.

694
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, I can tell MANA first mine was pretty vain,

695
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 6: like I just wanted to I just wanted to get

696
00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 6: in shape and I want it. So I've lost over

697
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 6: one hundred pounds.

698
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 2: Wow, that's good.

699
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, what id He was a big, big guy

700
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,760
Speaker 5: with dreads, dreds, a ponytail.

701
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 3: He was so cute.

702
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

703
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 6: And for me, it was just a matter of wanting

704
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,280
Speaker 6: to stay consistent. Right. We were just in the service

705
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 6: last night and uh, pastor conwe was talking about.

706
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 2: Finding the win.

707
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 6: And the win for me was not to lose one

708
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 6: hundred pounds, It was to go to the gym and go.

709
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:37,680
Speaker 6: My win was was that day I went. And I

710
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 6: also framed it from a pretty popular book, Atomic Habits

711
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 6: James Clear, and it was like, hey, a lot of

712
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 6: times we aren't able to accomplish large goals because we

713
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:54,359
Speaker 6: focused on large goals and not stepping small, and so

714
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 6: I got consistent wins. Every day I went to the gym,

715
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 6: I went, Did I eat a good meal that day?

716
00:36:58,600 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 2: Maybe?

717
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 6: So for me it was kind of vain, but I

718
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 6: think for Tasha it developed into something deeper.

719
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 3: I love the word developed.

720
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 5: It grew for me because initially, starting out just like

721
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 5: he said, I wanted to be healthy at the probably

722
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 5: about three or four years ago, during the pandemic, one

723
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 5: of the things that I've always kind of been anxious about,

724
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 5: it became a reality to me. So my father he

725
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 5: died of a heart attack. He had cholesterol problems and

726
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,919
Speaker 5: high blood pressure. Most of the people on his side

727
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,800
Speaker 5: of the family died from heart attacks with cholesterol problems.

728
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,000
Speaker 5: And so I went to the doctor. My blood work

729
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 5: came back and I had high cholesterol, and it was like, Bam,

730
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 5: there it is, you know. And I even talked to him,

731
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 5: I'm so sorry. I just did all these things. And

732
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,960
Speaker 5: God is like, you have authority to you can take

733
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 5: authority over this. You can break a generational curse with you.

734
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 5: And it's not just about declaring and expecting a miracle

735
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:55,439
Speaker 5: to fall out.

736
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:55,760
Speaker 3: Of the sky.

737
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 5: I have given you the tools that you need to

738
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 5: cancel this your life.

739
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 3: And so I started on this journey.

740
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 6: Man.

741
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 5: It's been three or four years ago now, and I

742
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 5: know people see what I'm doing now and they think,

743
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 5: oh gosh, you on the shot, Oh gosh, you And

744
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 5: I've tried it all. I've done the shot, I've had

745
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,600
Speaker 5: the surgeries, and what I found is that the only

746
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 5: thing that works is you being consistent and committed to

747
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 5: doing the work. And the work sometimes can be uncomfortable,

748
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 5: it can sometimes be a sacrifice, it could get hard,

749
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 5: but you got to commit to it every day, like

750
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 5: Kenny said, and then it just grew, Like I found

751
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 5: myself going to the gym last year. So it's been

752
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 5: about a year and I go consistently, probably four or

753
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 5: five six days a week, sometimes two times a day.

754
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,399
Speaker 5: You know, it's my things where I find God there.

755
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 5: And I told him I went on a six weeks sabbatical.

756
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 5: It just ended about two weeks ago. And during that sabbatical,

757
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 5: one of the things that I learned is that the

758
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,319
Speaker 5: same fulfillment that I feel when I'm leading worship and

759
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 5: standing on a stage in front of a crowd, I

760
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 5: feel it in the gym with just me and Jesus

761
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:05,400
Speaker 5: and I think for so long you can find yourself

762
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 5: defining yourself by what you do. And God is Sayatasha,

763
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 5: I want you to see that I'm just as much

764
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,720
Speaker 5: God in this gym as I am on that stage

765
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 5: when you're watching people be heal, set for and delivered.

766
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,800
Speaker 5: And I want this time with you and I find

767
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 5: him there just meeting him there while I'm taking care

768
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 5: of the temple that He has given me. It has

769
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:28,320
Speaker 5: created just another space for me and God to grow

770
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 5: in relationship.

771
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 2: That's good and I.

772
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 6: Think for me as her husband, when she initially told

773
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 6: me about the sabbatical, and I wanted to make sure

774
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 6: that she was keeping space clear because I know my

775
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:45,560
Speaker 6: wife right, she's a visionary and the executor, so she'll

776
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 6: come up with the idea and just and go for

777
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 6: herself in it. And I was talking to him, I

778
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 6: was like, Babe, I just want to make sure that

779
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 6: this isn't like another thing that you're using to feel

780
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,479
Speaker 6: the time since you your hands on more idol now

781
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 6: and she started expressing like, no, this is this is

782
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 6: literally being a sanctuary for me. And it helped me

783
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 6: to be able to cover her in that because it's

784
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 6: like some days like no I want you to chill,

785
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 6: it's get wings to She's like, no, I'm going to

786
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 6: the gym now.

787
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,240
Speaker 3: Oh, probably about an hour, hour and a half.

788
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 5: Now, I'll say this. So I started doing this. It

789
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 5: just grew into something y'all. Like literally, there are women

790
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 5: who started reaching out to me on social media like

791
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,400
Speaker 5: you have encouraged me. They would send me pictures of

792
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 5: themselves in the gym, and I mean like hundreds and

793
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 5: hundreds of people.

794
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 3: And I'm thinking, this is.

795
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 5: Another who would have ever thought that I would be

796
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:46,919
Speaker 5: an influencer on the age fitness. This is a girl

797
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 5: who will overweight my entire life and I mean obesity.

798
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 3: My largest I was three hundred and fifty pounds.

799
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:56,439
Speaker 5: Like, I never saw myself being someone that people would

800
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,320
Speaker 5: look up to in the area of fitness.

801
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 3: So I said, you know, let's do it. I can

802
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 3: do what I can.

803
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,480
Speaker 5: We are real people with real goals and we're just

804
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 5: saying real results.

805
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 3: And I opened like.

806
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 5: This this community call Elevate three point sixty. You women

807
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 5: just go online and they join us. We post like

808
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 5: these at home workouts. Some of them join us twice

809
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 5: a month where we meet we meet for workouts together.

810
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 5: Our first group we had over seventy women just show

811
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 5: up to the gym just to work out.

812
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,959
Speaker 3: And these are women before you. Amen, yeah, and amen,

813
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 3: come too.

814
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 5: And some of them you literally haven't worked out in

815
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,320
Speaker 5: probably four or five years.

816
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 3: And so they're trusting me in a safe space.

817
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 5: Like I felt uncomfortable going to the gym because I

818
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 5: don't want people to look at me, but I feel

819
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 5: safe here, and so it's just I'm just trusted God

820
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 5: with it.

821
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:46,799
Speaker 3: Whatever he wants to do. I say, yeah, yeah, So.

822
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 1: How did y'all go from you getting him dressed for

823
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 1: dates to now y'all having clothing lines and everything else

824
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: and do something together because we don't talk about Kenny's

825
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: business too towards the end of this, Yeah, how did

826
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 1: that transition?

827
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,719
Speaker 6: I think? I think in a similar way, like you

828
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 6: find God in some everywhere, right, And just like Tasha

829
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 6: found God in the gym, we started finding God through entrepreneurship.

830
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:18,759
Speaker 6: We started finding God through other ventures, whether it was

831
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 6: entrepreneurship or not. And we began to change the way

832
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 6: we view our purpose right like it always stayed the same,

833
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 6: but it was a different iteration of it.

834
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 2: And so.

835
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 6: Together our purpose is to bring people into an awareness

836
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 6: of God. And when they walk into Elevate or even

837
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 6: order online, they're able to come into an awareness of

838
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 6: Him through how they present themselves because that matters to God.

839
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 6: When we when I started building the business you mentioned kinetic,

840
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 6: it started out for me as I started. So here's

841
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 6: something you may have experienced too. I was accomplished.

842
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 2: I traveled the world.

843
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 6: As an MD, but I was able to do it

844
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,839
Speaker 6: under the radar. When I married her. Now I got

845
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 6: to sit on podcasts, I had to be on stages

846
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 6: now and my life, man, and it vertinly just became

847
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 6: more public. And so that means now I can't just

848
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 6: bust out into three piece, no, sir.

849
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 9: Right, that resonates exactly, and it's it's it.

850
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 6: Oh man, it's so so many, so many things I

851
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 6: can mention just from that experience alone.

852
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,399
Speaker 3: Can I break in right there?

853
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 5: Because I do want to say as a word of

854
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 5: encouragement to you, like this was his prayer before we

855
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 5: came to y'all's wedding. We had no clue who you were,

856
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 5: and he just said it out loud. We were at

857
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 5: the hotel and he said, whoever his wife is, I

858
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 5: just pray you know that God is anointing her and

859
00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 5: giving her the grace and the favor for this platform,

860
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 5: he said, because it's not always easy walking into a

861
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 5: spotlight when you've been able to hide in the background,

862
00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 5: like he prayed that for you on your wedding.

863
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 3: Yeah literally, yep.

864
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she needed and she needed it.

865
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 9: You No, I know that that's the anointing because I

866
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 9: have enjoyed being behind the scenes. I said that on

867
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,760
Speaker 9: our last episode, how great it was to be around

868
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 9: people of influence, but to never have the camera turned

869
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 9: on me, because I said, you know, the internet is

870
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 9: not always a nice place, and so being on this

871
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 9: side of it is new for me. So it's lovely

872
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 9: to hear and see the manifestation of how that's worked

873
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:31,800
Speaker 9: out in your life.

874
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:33,480
Speaker 4: So I'm loving this story.

875
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 1: And so listen. Right before we were going out at

876
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 1: the wedding, you know, the wedding was live stream. It

877
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 1: was like five thousand and then it went to like

878
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 1: thirteen thousand, and she looked when you looked at her,

879
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 1: how many of your brides made.

880
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 3: Tell you said, five?

881
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were five. She said, tech this phone. She

882
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:49,360
Speaker 1: just got nervous.

883
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 2: I'm not going any more.

884
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 3: People join I'm.

885
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 1: Not twenty eight thousand people watching live. But if she

886
00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 1: would have saw that, she would just problem.

887
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 9: And then I asked, I said, okay, just tell me,

888
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 9: tell me how many it is now.

889
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 3: They said, no, you can't.

890
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 6: Just started praying.

891
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:14,240
Speaker 9: We just started praying, I said, they did. I said,

892
00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 9: take this away because I always think about it. When

893
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 9: I'm focused on I, then there's ego involved.

894
00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:22,320
Speaker 3: And so when I do it for God.

895
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 9: I say that take me out of it. So whatever

896
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 9: you say, it's not about me. Yeah, in fact, it's

897
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 9: actually more about you.

898
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

899
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:29,439
Speaker 2: See.

900
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 1: So during the whole Mystery Bride situation, she was enjoying

901
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 1: that a lot of times people were talking about some

902
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: of the toxic sites, like he's hiding her, Is he

903
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,439
Speaker 1: really did he? Is he really marrying somebody? He's just like, yeah, listen,

904
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: I said, you think I got time to do something

905
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: for publicity, so lame to me, but I knew that.

906
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: She and I had a conversation. She was like, listen,

907
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,760
Speaker 1: I want to stay as private as long as possible

908
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 1: so we can build something in privacy. So we're going

909
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 1: through therapy and all that. It's like, how look, just

910
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 1: imagine us going through therapy at the same time dealing

911
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 1: with the audience and the community saying whatever they got

912
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 1: to say, and then we take that into our therapy sessions. Well,

913
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: we saw this post about this, We didn't have to

914
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:10,879
Speaker 1: worry about none of that stuff, and we just got

915
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: a chance to build something solid together so that then

916
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,319
Speaker 1: when we did step out, then we could step out

917
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 1: strong and be like, whatever y'all got to say, y'all

918
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: even know what we built in privacy, and so that's

919
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: what it was about. But she was enjoying that, she said,

920
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 1: the terrorists listenin' I ain't really got to do this podcast.

921
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,399
Speaker 9: And I'm fascinated by how much people love him. Yeah,

922
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:32,399
Speaker 9: I mean, they spend so much time creating stories.

923
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 4: I'm like, my husband is a legend.

924
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:36,839
Speaker 6: Ya.

925
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 4: I am amazed at how consuming.

926
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 9: But I am to the people right to the people

927
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,399
Speaker 9: who are making money by making content about him.

928
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 4: I'm happy that your Christmas was a little bit.

929
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 6: Like I to learn h restraint and you kind of

930
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 6: touched on it earlier, like you you don't have to

931
00:47:05,719 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 6: come in on everything, and there's some things you really

932
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 6: want to and like she's she at this point already

933
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 6: groomed into the understanding of not feeding the fire right

934
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:18,399
Speaker 6: and so, but I'm like.

935
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 2: Say, somebody my wife again, Mama, mama.

936
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:38,040
Speaker 3: Right now, right now under her name. She don't care.

937
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 3: She wants me to tell her. She asked me.

938
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 5: I was on the breakfast club today, She said, why

939
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 5: didn't you tell them that your mama comments.

940
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:49,279
Speaker 2: She wants the world.

941
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 6: Knows, always had she's in life two point oh, she got.

942
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 5: Why don't you tell them your mama like to come in, Mama,

943
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 5: they see you.

944
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:13,720
Speaker 6: Oh God, yeah, I gotta applaud you on that, because

945
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 6: like without us having conversations about it, like you always

946
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 6: kind of wonder, like, man, this is an amazing season

947
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 6: that you know she's in obscurity, but you never thought

948
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,440
Speaker 6: of it from the sense of you as a husband,

949
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 6: covering your wife so that you guys have time to build,

950
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:36,280
Speaker 6: have time to really solidify what God was doing.

951
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: Because that was important because again, as a leader, man,

952
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,000
Speaker 1: I don't want to be dealing with all this stuff,

953
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:42,359
Speaker 1: like at the end of the day, and I know

954
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 1: how she doesn't care about all this stuff. She doesn't

955
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 1: she doesn't care about all this camera stuff. She don't

956
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:48,879
Speaker 1: care about it. Like listen, I was living my good

957
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 1: life private. You know, she's one of those people that that,

958
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: And we joke about this. She said, I want to

959
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,799
Speaker 1: be a millionaire that nobody even knows about.

960
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 6: Period.

961
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,320
Speaker 1: She'd rather be a millionaire and nobody know sitting in

962
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: the restaurant, nobody know what I got, And so she

963
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: didn't care about fame. And so I was like, well, God,

964
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 1: you know the mantle that's on my life. My wife

965
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:11,399
Speaker 1: can't be in obscurity. I look like a fake because

966
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 1: if I'm sitting there still doing their Future Wife, he

967
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 1: having a whole platform. He like, well where your wife at?

968
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And I'd be like, well,

969
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,439
Speaker 1: she just don't like the line like, Na, you don't

970
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 1: want to have the line like no, I really do.

971
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: But she know they're like, you just chose wrong. So

972
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 1: to be all this stuff that I have to combat.

973
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 1: And so privately, as I was building their Future Wife,

974
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 1: I said, God, I want you to fashion my wife

975
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:31,360
Speaker 1: to be able to sit on this couch so we

976
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: can have conversations like this together. And I said, and

977
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 1: that's how I vetted, you know, it didn't. I didn't

978
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 1: need her to be that when I met her. I

979
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: need her to have an open mind, to be willing

980
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:43,840
Speaker 1: to do that, you know. And again like it's a

981
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 1: situation of it's interesting because God had to change your

982
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:49,319
Speaker 1: heart to even want a pastor, because at the end

983
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: of the day, he wasn't a pastor when you met him.

984
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,359
Speaker 1: But then now I look at y'all having a whole

985
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: purpose place, you.

986
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 2: Know what I'm saying.

987
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: So that's that's guys in his sovereignty, you know, And

988
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: so that's why I'm so thankful. So I tell her

989
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: all the time, I say, you can do as much

990
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,280
Speaker 1: as this, as little is this. She likes this space.

991
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 1: She don't like it when we go do other people's platforms.

992
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,640
Speaker 1: So she's like, I'm knowing what they're gonna ask me,

993
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show it on my face. And I'm just

994
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:15,839
Speaker 1: I said, listen, I said, I know, I know. If

995
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:17,880
Speaker 1: you get uncomfortable, I know how to you know, you

996
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 1: give me then alley oop and I know how to

997
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:20,000
Speaker 1: take that or whatever.

998
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,920
Speaker 6: But that's like the most ideal situation though, right imagine

999
00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 6: imagine her having the ambition to be what you do,

1000
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 6: and now she turns, she changes from being somebody that

1001
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 6: completes you to somebody that competes. Don't make me, Yeah,

1002
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:43,600
Speaker 6: Ken quit playing and I understand it because I sat

1003
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 6: in that I sit in that seat as a man,

1004
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 6: an accomplished man, musician, minstrel. I have to be wise

1005
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,279
Speaker 6: enough to understand the gift that my wife has as

1006
00:50:57,320 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 6: a plat being in the limelight platform and not like

1007
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 6: admire but not desire, like not being don't desire. Yeah,

1008
00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 6: like you preach, I feel my health. Yeah, it really

1009
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 6: requires the Holy Ghost.

1010
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:23,839
Speaker 2: And I know we use that lightly.

1011
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,759
Speaker 6: But what I'm really saying is when when when I

1012
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 6: said it requires the Holy ghost, the Holy Ghost comes

1013
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 6: with fruit.

1014
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 2: One of those fruit is self control.

1015
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 6: And so I gotta be able to control my emotions myself.

1016
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:41,800
Speaker 2: I gotta be emotionally aware.

1017
00:51:41,920 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 6: I have to be spiritually aware that when they're saying

1018
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:49,720
Speaker 6: her name and and she's getting awards, to not feel

1019
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,880
Speaker 6: like that makes me less than it makes me less

1020
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 6: of a man, because I know that in order for

1021
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 6: her to do what she does, I gotta be strong

1022
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 6: enough to cover that. I gotta be strong enough to

1023
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 6: cover her. And it gets interesting sometimes because it's like, man,

1024
00:52:04,560 --> 00:52:10,319
Speaker 6: I produced the song, and I think it's amazing for

1025
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 6: us to be able to celebrate that and see my

1026
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,879
Speaker 6: win as her win as our win, and her win

1027
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:16,840
Speaker 6: is our wind.

1028
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 1: And see, I think more men need to hear that

1029
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:22,959
Speaker 1: more because a lot of times, especially in the church,

1030
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 1: we're taught that the wife is supposed to support the

1031
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:27,960
Speaker 1: gifts of the husband, you know, And it's always like that.

1032
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: He's a pastor and you come by default. You're the

1033
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,520
Speaker 1: first lady, and you need to go serve him, serve him,

1034
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 1: serve him. We never see it where it's the other

1035
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 1: way around, where not only are you serving her, but

1036
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 1: y'all serving each other. You know, you just don't. We

1037
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:42,879
Speaker 1: just don't see that, you know. We always hear even

1038
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: the word submission only one way. It's like saying the

1039
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 1: wife submit to your husband, but we don't even acknowledge

1040
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 1: submit you one to another. We don't even hear that.

1041
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: And so it's good that you say it's my wine

1042
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,400
Speaker 1: because the Bible says a man will get his glory

1043
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 1: through his wife. Yeah, that she is a crown upon

1044
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,800
Speaker 1: her husband's head. So the greater you make her become,

1045
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: the greater that you look.

1046
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:05,160
Speaker 2: That's how they.

1047
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:07,399
Speaker 1: Will honored you at the city gates because they're looking

1048
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 1: at you and like, you know, man, his wife is best.

1049
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:12,240
Speaker 1: She looks well taken care of. She looks very happy.

1050
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 1: She's not putting on a fake smile. She seems like

1051
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,359
Speaker 1: she's walking in joy. She's successful, she's great, and she's

1052
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 1: able to serve her family well. But if it wasn't that,

1053
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:24,400
Speaker 1: then she'd be like when he kids graduate high school,

1054
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 1: I'm divorcing.

1055
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 7: You know that.

1056
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:30,920
Speaker 1: And you hear women say stuff that says that a

1057
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: woman is happier not married, And the only reason why

1058
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 1: they're saying that is because that woman has witnessed a

1059
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: bad marriage, because you can't say that if it's a

1060
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: thriving marriage. There's no way the Bible says two or

1061
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 1: is better than one. There's no way you can say

1062
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:47,640
Speaker 1: that two people together that's thriving is less than one

1063
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 1: person surviving.

1064
00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:52,040
Speaker 6: I would even throw this out there too. You see

1065
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,280
Speaker 6: a lot of people say that men are happier got

1066
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,680
Speaker 6: married exactly, And there's no way you can say that

1067
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 6: if you're not in a unless you're in a thriving

1068
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 6: and you've seen many of us haven't seen seen we

1069
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 6: haven't seen it. We haven't seen it. And I thank

1070
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:14,400
Speaker 6: God for some amazing models examples through my spiritual father

1071
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 6: and pastor Bishop Brian Pearce where Like I've grown up

1072
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:22,719
Speaker 6: in the church like Tasha, and I've seen people one

1073
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 6: way on platforms and another way off platform Yes, but

1074
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 6: we we literally would see their marriage off stage, behind

1075
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,280
Speaker 6: this when you don't have.

1076
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 1: To, you know.

1077
00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 6: And like, one of the things that really impacted me

1078
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 6: most was watching them. We were all on a trip

1079
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:41,919
Speaker 6: together and they're walking in front of us. They don't

1080
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:45,320
Speaker 6: even know we're watching, and they're literally hand in hand

1081
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:48,799
Speaker 6: walking and I'm like, man, after all these years, to

1082
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 6: see to see a man that loves his woman that

1083
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:56,000
Speaker 6: way that where yeah, where we And this impacted me

1084
00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 6: so much. I went on a trip with him with

1085
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 6: his brothers, and his brothers re afected his walk as

1086
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 6: a pastor. And it wasn't like you know, like you know,

1087
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 6: stuff changed when you're around people that like, all right, man,

1088
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 6: come up out of that.

1089
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 2: I've been knowing you.

1090
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 6: I've been knowing you your whole life, and to see

1091
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,840
Speaker 6: that it can be done and it ain't corny like

1092
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 6: you know what I mean, like it looked to see

1093
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 6: somebody do that. I think that's incredible And I think

1094
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:28,399
Speaker 6: a part of a responsibility I feel with our relationship

1095
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,399
Speaker 6: is to be that model for for somebody else.

1096
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 1: Absolutely, So now let's talk about how y'all got here.

1097
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 1: How did y'all get from being friends to graduating a

1098
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,839
Speaker 1: fiance and then the wife. So you were married, you're

1099
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: you ended up getting a divorce, and then what happened.

1100
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 6: During my divorce season. It was really tough. And I

1101
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:52,320
Speaker 6: think that's even if you know it's the right decision,

1102
00:55:52,800 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 6: you face things that you don't even realize their moments,

1103
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:59,400
Speaker 6: and dark knights where you don't even realize this was coming.

1104
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,440
Speaker 6: So I would even miss my ex and I know

1105
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:05,439
Speaker 6: I made the right decision, but I'm having to kind

1106
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 6: of process.

1107
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:07,000
Speaker 2: Through all of this.

1108
00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 6: And it was during that season that I said I

1109
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 6: need my friend. I need my friend because we had

1110
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:14,839
Speaker 6: gone through a season where we weren't talking as much.

1111
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,439
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he do not answer in my phone.

1112
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 2: We talk about.

1113
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:26,040
Speaker 7: You.

1114
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:29,880
Speaker 3: Even though we haven't defined this. I believe it.

1115
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 5: It could be old school thing, you know, I grew

1116
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 5: up old schools church, Like your wife now is your

1117
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 5: best friend, this is your focus. So I'm not gonna

1118
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 5: do anything to try to be in the middle of this,

1119
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 5: you know. So it was probably about two years where

1120
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 5: he sent me that text like I need my friend,

1121
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 5: and I could hear and since the depression, the darkness,

1122
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 5: he was in a very very.

1123
00:56:54,719 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 3: Hard place, and so was I. Like literally I needed

1124
00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 3: him too.

1125
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 5: I needed my friend, and so we would just literally

1126
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:05,880
Speaker 5: help walk each other through those seasons.

1127
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 3: I would send him songs like I need you to

1128
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:08,799
Speaker 3: listen to this.

1129
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 5: This is gonna help you in this season where you are,

1130
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,200
Speaker 5: and I mean worship songs.

1131
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 3: He would send stuff back to me, and.

1132
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 5: That friendship, it was just it's almost you know, you

1133
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 5: have those friends where it's like we haven't talked two years,

1134
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 5: but we picked right up where we left. Literally that

1135
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 5: that's what happened with us. And so one night I

1136
00:57:27,200 --> 00:57:29,440
Speaker 5: told this the last time I was sitting in the hotel,

1137
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 5: and you got feelings for me?

1138
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 3: You just told him.

1139
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm going to walk in a holy

1140
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 5: boldness on this evening.

1141
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, you got feelings like me. That's what this is.

1142
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,560
Speaker 6: You know, I'm a processor, right, And so I think

1143
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 6: I had to take that in and really kind of

1144
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 6: come to a realization of a, yes, I do have

1145
00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 6: feelings for you, but now it's kind of starting to

1146
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 6: look like a conversation of what that looks like.

1147
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 2: And what can this be?

1148
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 6: And you know, thinking through that, like it's all like

1149
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 6: great when we start talking about our music and music ministry.

1150
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 6: But I mean, so I'm coming out of a marriage,

1151
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 6: I have three children, and so that's a consideration.

1152
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 2: Right, Like we just talked about the comments and stuff.

1153
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 2: He got three kicks.

1154
00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 6: I'm like, man, I had a child at twenty four,

1155
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,320
Speaker 6: nine years later out of a marriage. I had my

1156
00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:48,440
Speaker 6: youngest daughter and my son is a bonus son. And

1157
00:58:48,520 --> 00:58:52,840
Speaker 6: so I was looking at that and couldn't respond. But

1158
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 6: my point is there were a lot of considerations, but

1159
00:58:56,880 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 6: I felt like this was God's for me, in God's

1160
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:04,280
Speaker 6: purpose for us, and it was amazing to be able

1161
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 6: to really kind of release all of that other stuff

1162
00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:10,600
Speaker 6: because when you when you do this, when you say

1163
00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:14,440
Speaker 6: yes to this, it's a faith move. You don't know,

1164
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:17,720
Speaker 6: you're not gonna know. God doesn't design it, so you

1165
00:59:17,840 --> 00:59:19,760
Speaker 6: have all of the answer at all. And that's for

1166
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:22,720
Speaker 6: a lot of people that like, we just did a

1167
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:25,200
Speaker 6: masked wedding at our church, and uh, it was for

1168
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 6: a lot of people who were kind of standing in.

1169
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 6: A lot of us want to have everything lined up.

1170
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:34,640
Speaker 6: But there's a scripture that says a man that stares

1171
00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:38,360
Speaker 6: in the wind would never saw and so we would

1172
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 6: say it like this, you study.

1173
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:43,240
Speaker 2: A long, you study wrong. Yeah, yeah, so I had

1174
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:43,920
Speaker 2: to step in.

1175
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 6: It's probably one of my first lessons of faith, where God,

1176
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 6: I trust your voice enough to step on it and

1177
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 6: be assured that I will land on your something. He's

1178
00:59:54,920 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 6: not gonna reveal everything. And so I released all of

1179
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 6: those proclivities, all of those a all of it. You're

1180
01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 6: never gonna be ready, and I just stepped out on

1181
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:07,000
Speaker 6: faith and just let God do what he's gonna do.

1182
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:09,760
Speaker 2: And then what was your response back? So you waited?

1183
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 1: How long did you wait to articulate to Tasha that

1184
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 1: the feeling was mutual?

1185
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 2: It wasn't that long at all. Yeah, it was like,

1186
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 2: let's do this.

1187
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 5: I think one of the things that I love about

1188
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:23,560
Speaker 5: Kenny he keeps saying he's a processor and it takes

1189
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:28,800
Speaker 5: time for him to matriculate through those different thoughts and

1190
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 5: how am I going to manage this even with our

1191
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 5: blended family, Like I appreciate my husband so much because

1192
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 5: there are moments where you know, for some of us

1193
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 5: we might just flip off the handle, but he's like, no,

1194
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 5: this is how I feel like we should do this,

1195
01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 5: you know, even when there were times where I would

1196
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:46,680
Speaker 5: go to him and say, I feel like I'm on

1197
01:00:46,720 --> 01:00:49,479
Speaker 5: the outside looking in, trying to articulate how I feel.

1198
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,120
Speaker 5: I feel like y'all have this moving car and I'm

1199
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 5: in a car beside you. If we're going to the

1200
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:56,480
Speaker 5: same destination, I feel like I need to get in

1201
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 5: the car. And so he would hear me out and

1202
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 5: then figure out ways on how to implement different styles

1203
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 5: of parenting so that I can fit into, you know,

1204
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:10,640
Speaker 5: the equation, and he's just he's just such a great thinker.

1205
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 5: So even in that I remember so me being me,

1206
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 5: which is a line to don't put on that dinim suit,

1207
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:19,320
Speaker 5: don't wear that. I remember because of what he had

1208
01:01:19,320 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 5: been exposed to an industry, the different types of male

1209
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 5: influences that he had, just how to break some of

1210
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 5: those influences off of him. I would say stuff like

1211
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,919
Speaker 5: I don't want us to go another day without communicating

1212
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 5: in some kind of way. And I would ask him like,

1213
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 5: every day I want to hear your voice.

1214
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 3: I want us to text want And.

1215
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:44,280
Speaker 5: That was me saying, this is how you are become

1216
01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 5: a faithful man.

1217
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:47,919
Speaker 6: That was that was when it got real to me too,

1218
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 6: like because you know, you know, but yeah, yeah, I

1219
01:01:53,240 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 6: like you too and know she was serious, but also,

1220
01:02:01,480 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 6: like you were saying, it kind of laid out a

1221
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 6: framework too, and like since that day, I made sure

1222
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 6: every single every day that's good that I, you know,

1223
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 6: was sending a text, sending some type of communication, calling,

1224
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 6: just to make sure that we stayed connected.

1225
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:18,880
Speaker 1: Let's talk about this because a lot of men don't

1226
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 1: share this, but they operate in it. Did you have

1227
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:23,320
Speaker 1: a fear of remarriage?

1228
01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 6: Yes, I think for me, the fear was kind of oh,

1229
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 6: it was kind of rooted in being driven, right, And

1230
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:38,840
Speaker 6: so I'll say it like this, and I heard this

1231
01:02:39,200 --> 01:02:42,720
Speaker 6: from Pasadarius, who walked with us pretty closely. But so

1232
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:45,280
Speaker 6: we can we live out purpose one of two ways.

1233
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 6: It's either being led or being driven. And so one

1234
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:52,360
Speaker 6: of the things that would cause me to fear about

1235
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:55,880
Speaker 6: moving forward is I was being driven by brokenness in

1236
01:02:55,960 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 6: my past, driven by failures, driven by and so now

1237
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 6: I'm operating out of out of a failure instead of

1238
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 6: operating like.

1239
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 2: Jesus, who who this is?

1240
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 6: This is my son who is well pleased before any

1241
01:03:11,640 --> 01:03:14,680
Speaker 6: miracles or anything happen. And so he was always operating

1242
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 6: out of confirmation and not operating out of brokenness. And

1243
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 6: so I was I had to go through a process.

1244
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 6: And this is a faith move as well. Everything is

1245
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 6: about faith. I can't say that I had to go

1246
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 6: through a process of breaking all of that. You fail before,

1247
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 6: you're always gonna be a cheater. You're always gonna have

1248
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 6: a roster. You're not gonna be able to say no

1249
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 6: to temptation and say make decisions and steps to be

1250
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:44,440
Speaker 6: led and not driven that.

1251
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:49,600
Speaker 2: God, dog, wow, oh I need men to hear that

1252
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:50,120
Speaker 2: right there?

1253
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:56,080
Speaker 1: My God, Yeah, I'm getting emotional just hearing that. That

1254
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 1: is so powerful. And I heard the Holy Spirit tell

1255
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,240
Speaker 1: me to ask you that question, saying that you're going

1256
01:04:01,320 --> 01:04:03,920
Speaker 1: to say something that's impactful. And when I tell you,

1257
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:09,640
Speaker 1: it's because that's the fear that keeps men from remarrying

1258
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:12,919
Speaker 1: or getting married even the first time. They're just we're

1259
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,400
Speaker 1: so programmed to chase after the wrong thing, you know,

1260
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 1: and we'd be like naw, Like you said, men will

1261
01:04:19,320 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 1: say mayors don't work. A man is happier being a

1262
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:25,640
Speaker 1: single because and they'll take they'll give all these examples

1263
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 1: of everything that went wrong. You never hear them say

1264
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 1: examples that went right because truth be told. Like you

1265
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 1: said earlier, Kenneth, that they don't see positive examples, so

1266
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,560
Speaker 1: they be like, well, I mean I ain't never seen

1267
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:41,640
Speaker 1: the mayors actually work, so they like, so it don't work.

1268
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 1: Instead of saying, let me be the change I want

1269
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:46,120
Speaker 1: to see. They used to tell us that when we're

1270
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:49,680
Speaker 1: in kindergarten, that was a model be the change, you know,

1271
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:51,640
Speaker 1: and I've been like, oh, I want to be okay,

1272
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:54,240
Speaker 1: but that taught you how to be leader, how to

1273
01:04:54,280 --> 01:04:57,160
Speaker 1: walk in leadership and become a leader. Instead of saying, well,

1274
01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:59,080
Speaker 1: el sins nobody else ain't getting married, well I ain't

1275
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 1: gonna get married either, you're saying. And it's like, and

1276
01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you just level set expectations from a

1277
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:08,680
Speaker 1: healthy standpoint instead of this toxic masculinity that we've adopted

1278
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:11,360
Speaker 1: for so long to say this is what is supposed

1279
01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:13,959
Speaker 1: to be. And it's like no, no, and like you said,

1280
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:16,680
Speaker 1: driven by the fear of something not working, you know,

1281
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:21,280
Speaker 1: and people don't understand that a righteous man, when you

1282
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 1: look at when you failed and mismanaging a marriage before,

1283
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,160
Speaker 1: you rather just say.

1284
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna do it again because at least you can.

1285
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:31,400
Speaker 1: You can get on to me all day about being

1286
01:05:31,480 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 1: single and not getting married or whatever, but you can't

1287
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 1: fault me. If I don't get married again, then it

1288
01:05:36,880 --> 01:05:38,919
Speaker 1: doesn't fail, you know what I'm saying, Because if I'm single,

1289
01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:39,440
Speaker 1: I'm just single.

1290
01:05:39,520 --> 01:05:40,120
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

1291
01:05:40,800 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 1: You'd be like, well, that's what single man is supposed

1292
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 1: to do. But you get married. Now you have a responsibility.

1293
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:47,720
Speaker 1: You have a fidiciary duty, and you have a responsibility

1294
01:05:47,720 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 1: by Christ to be able to say now you need

1295
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:52,320
Speaker 1: to be a leader. Now you're a husband, you're a householder.

1296
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:54,640
Speaker 1: So now when you take those vows, you gotta take

1297
01:05:54,640 --> 01:05:56,760
Speaker 1: it seriously. So most men be like, I'm just never

1298
01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,360
Speaker 1: gonna do it because I don't want it to know

1299
01:05:58,480 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 1: this go right.

1300
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:02,720
Speaker 6: Because it's hard, right like, And that's the thing. Marriage

1301
01:06:02,760 --> 01:06:05,880
Speaker 6: is framed weird to single people. The first thing you

1302
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:10,439
Speaker 6: hear is marriage is what hard, and most people run

1303
01:06:10,480 --> 01:06:12,640
Speaker 6: away from pain faster than they run to pleasure.

1304
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:15,479
Speaker 2: There it is, so you see people you.

1305
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:19,320
Speaker 6: See in my context as a man, so I say men,

1306
01:06:19,400 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 6: but it's really people that will run away from the

1307
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:25,040
Speaker 6: hard thing. But most of the time what we find

1308
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 6: is where resistance is that's where growth is. It is like,

1309
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:30,160
Speaker 6: that's how it works with weights, that's how it works

1310
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:32,720
Speaker 6: with spiritual life. That's why you fall asleep when you're

1311
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:36,919
Speaker 6: trying to read the scripture and you see this resistance

1312
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 6: or maybe even this like pruning or even correction even

1313
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:48,880
Speaker 6: And I had to release an ego in my life

1314
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 6: to be able to see my wife differently, to see

1315
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:57,040
Speaker 6: the quote unquote hard, the quote unquote challenge. And here's

1316
01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:01,000
Speaker 6: what I mean, Like, there are moments where with my wife,

1317
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:05,960
Speaker 6: she has become my greatest mirror. And you don't go

1318
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:11,439
Speaker 6: out into life, especially for us, without checking to see

1319
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:14,240
Speaker 6: what you look like. And there are things on you

1320
01:07:14,520 --> 01:07:17,520
Speaker 6: about you that you can't see without a mirror you teaching.

1321
01:07:17,880 --> 01:07:20,640
Speaker 6: And so here's the thing though, sometimes when you see

1322
01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:22,880
Speaker 6: the mirror, it's a hard truth. I thought I looked

1323
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 6: good in this this terrible wow. I thought I was justified.

1324
01:07:28,960 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 6: This ain't justified. I didn't even know I had this

1325
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,440
Speaker 6: right here. And there are moments where she literally said

1326
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:36,960
Speaker 6: something to me last night where it's sometimes it's hard

1327
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:40,160
Speaker 6: to hear. But if you if your perspective of it

1328
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:43,760
Speaker 6: is differently, you'll be able to grow beyond your own

1329
01:07:44,400 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 6: your own strength, because God literally placed somebody in your

1330
01:07:49,040 --> 01:07:53,600
Speaker 6: life that can help you get to your next level.

1331
01:07:53,960 --> 01:07:57,680
Speaker 6: Like our greatest gifts we get from God comes into

1332
01:07:57,720 --> 01:08:00,360
Speaker 6: our life on two legs. Jesus came in who our

1333
01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 6: life on two legs. He could have come in any form.

1334
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 6: And so he gave me my wife. And she'll say, no, baby,

1335
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 6: you need to make sure you do this, or how

1336
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:13,440
Speaker 6: about because she's so graceful, right, she's so incredible, And

1337
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:16,479
Speaker 6: she'll say instead of she'll say, how about trying it

1338
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:16,800
Speaker 6: like this?

1339
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:18,200
Speaker 2: Well, how about saying.

1340
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:20,440
Speaker 3: A far from the girl who burst through the doors.

1341
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 2: And us because of him?

1342
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:29,320
Speaker 6: And I think, like when the Bible says iron sharpens iron,

1343
01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:33,800
Speaker 6: like we we've sharpened each other in grace. And she's

1344
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:37,000
Speaker 6: had grace to grow as a wife because because she

1345
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,160
Speaker 6: can see and break every chain. Real good has nothing

1346
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:42,920
Speaker 6: to do with how great she could be a wife, yeah,

1347
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:48,760
Speaker 6: or or how well she could be a mother or

1348
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:51,920
Speaker 6: anything else. Right, And so we've given each we got

1349
01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:53,679
Speaker 6: a couple in our mention that has a mention called

1350
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:54,280
Speaker 6: grace to grow.

1351
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:56,719
Speaker 2: We've given each other grace to grow.

1352
01:08:57,560 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 6: This is a safe space to fail, and it's good.

1353
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:04,200
Speaker 6: Baba says two is better than one because if one falls,

1354
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:07,720
Speaker 6: you got somebody else to help you. And so you

1355
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:09,799
Speaker 6: can fail here and we'll get back up together.

1356
01:09:10,040 --> 01:09:13,559
Speaker 1: That's good. God, dog is good. I always say Actuley

1357
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:17,320
Speaker 1: is my ultimate do over. And I say when I

1358
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:19,880
Speaker 1: was when I was a foster parent, they were always

1359
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 1: teach us and parenting classes to give kids correction by

1360
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:25,040
Speaker 1: allowing them to do a do over. So if the

1361
01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:27,840
Speaker 1: kids grab the toy from Johnny, then you say, hey,

1362
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,200
Speaker 1: now that's not nice to snatch his toys. We're going

1363
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 1: to give your due over. Now ask politely, can you

1364
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:34,720
Speaker 1: play with Johnny's toy? And so the kid you give

1365
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:36,559
Speaker 1: the toy back to Johnny. It's like can I play

1366
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 1: with the toy? And then Johnny gives them the toy

1367
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:41,040
Speaker 1: the do over. So I told Ashley early on, I said,

1368
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:43,559
Speaker 1: you're my ultimate due over. I said, you're going to

1369
01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:46,800
Speaker 1: be the teacher, the professor that can grade me on

1370
01:09:46,880 --> 01:09:49,240
Speaker 1: whether or not you're being loved properly. I said, I

1371
01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:52,360
Speaker 1: don't care what other people may say on these platforms

1372
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:54,519
Speaker 1: and what not. To be like liok Terrace is so amazing.

1373
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 1: If my wife is saying he's terrible.

1374
01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:58,040
Speaker 2: He's horrible.

1375
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:00,800
Speaker 1: He's the worst husband I could have ever chose her.

1376
01:10:01,040 --> 01:10:03,920
Speaker 1: At these I failed. And I told her and I said,

1377
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:06,519
Speaker 1: I don't care what I wrote in the book. In

1378
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:11,879
Speaker 1: this book, I wrote in the acknowledgment, I it was amazing,

1379
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:15,680
Speaker 1: I wrote, Ashley R. Whitfield. Before I even proposed, I

1380
01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:17,800
Speaker 1: gave her a dedication. I turned the book in in

1381
01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,439
Speaker 1: May and I proposed to her July to thirteen.

1382
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:28,439
Speaker 2: Wow. And my editor said you sure. Joe said, Okay,

1383
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:29,400
Speaker 2: you stepping big?

1384
01:10:30,200 --> 01:10:32,960
Speaker 1: I said, listen. I said, hey, if she says no

1385
01:10:33,080 --> 01:10:34,960
Speaker 1: when I proposed to her or whatnot, that's just be

1386
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:37,640
Speaker 1: another lesson in my Student of Love that I that

1387
01:10:37,720 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 1: I step and it didn't work out. When I said,

1388
01:10:40,600 --> 01:10:43,360
Speaker 1: this is my wife and I'm a move like she's

1389
01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 1: my wife until she tells me she's not.

1390
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:46,360
Speaker 3: Wow, period.

1391
01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:49,200
Speaker 1: I told that from March. I said, listen, I'm marrying you.

1392
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:51,800
Speaker 1: And I said, if this don't work out, it's gonna

1393
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:56,040
Speaker 1: because of you. I said, because you're getting everything I have.

1394
01:10:56,360 --> 01:10:59,120
Speaker 1: If I'm not holding anytime she tell me something that

1395
01:10:59,160 --> 01:11:02,519
Speaker 1: she don't like and need to, I said, okay, change, Wow, okay, change.

1396
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:04,719
Speaker 1: So when you talk about somebody that's able to speak

1397
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:06,719
Speaker 1: into your life and say, let me sharpen you. Because

1398
01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:09,639
Speaker 1: I was single for ten years. I failed in the marriage.

1399
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:12,840
Speaker 1: So there's things that I thought. I knew that once

1400
01:11:12,880 --> 01:11:15,320
Speaker 1: you begin to get married or you're dating somebody and

1401
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,920
Speaker 1: they go, no, I need you to change this. I

1402
01:11:16,920 --> 01:11:18,760
Speaker 1: don't like all these relationships you have with all these

1403
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:22,200
Speaker 1: women that you have. Whatever changed, change what else? What else?

1404
01:11:22,600 --> 01:11:25,479
Speaker 1: I said that my thing. Now, I'm not gonna be

1405
01:11:25,479 --> 01:11:28,040
Speaker 1: a hard headed husband. You tell me what needs to

1406
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:34,280
Speaker 1: change is changed. You are priority and nothing else matters, period, period, period.

1407
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,040
Speaker 5: I remember you sharing with us, Yo. You guys were

1408
01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:40,759
Speaker 5: just talking about when you propose. You told me something

1409
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:42,880
Speaker 5: about it was like the day after you left for

1410
01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,160
Speaker 5: our church, or the night you left the Purpose.

1411
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:48,360
Speaker 3: Place, the night you had the night I didn't even

1412
01:11:48,400 --> 01:11:48,960
Speaker 3: tell you about me.

1413
01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:51,680
Speaker 1: So this is what happened, man. So it was so

1414
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,679
Speaker 1: high in the Purpose Place. It was such a beautiful

1415
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:57,200
Speaker 1: episode The Dear Future WIFEI podcast, thank y'all because that

1416
01:11:57,280 --> 01:11:59,600
Speaker 1: was like, really like you call, like a couple of

1417
01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:02,280
Speaker 1: weeks we got to have you come here, and I

1418
01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:04,559
Speaker 1: was like, what cos as you come from where you go,

1419
01:12:05,680 --> 01:12:08,839
Speaker 1: let's go, let's go. So we went there and whatnot,

1420
01:12:08,920 --> 01:12:11,120
Speaker 1: and this is spirit was just high. It was just high.

1421
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:13,320
Speaker 1: It was some little weirdos that came trying to give

1422
01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:17,120
Speaker 1: me gifts and stuff. Don't you take that message with you?

1423
01:12:16,960 --> 01:12:18,720
Speaker 1: You know, it was just strangers that was popping up.

1424
01:12:18,720 --> 01:12:25,080
Speaker 1: It wasn't people, not for one order two and so

1425
01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:27,840
Speaker 1: and so I was, I left and I said, God,

1426
01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:30,799
Speaker 1: I don't want to spend another Valentine's Day by myself,

1427
01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:31,679
Speaker 1: Like I said.

1428
01:12:31,439 --> 01:12:31,760
Speaker 2: I don't.

1429
01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:34,479
Speaker 1: I don't like this. I don't like all this attention

1430
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:38,080
Speaker 1: from women and they're not mine. And I said, I

1431
01:12:38,120 --> 01:12:41,719
Speaker 1: want my person. And so I went to that hotel room, lonely, sad,

1432
01:12:42,280 --> 01:12:44,479
Speaker 1: and I had a dream about her. I had talked

1433
01:12:44,479 --> 01:12:47,559
Speaker 1: to her that that night, and then it was some

1434
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:49,960
Speaker 1: guy trying to shoot a shot at or whatnot while

1435
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:53,479
Speaker 1: she was with her cousin terrible and so I sat

1436
01:12:53,479 --> 01:12:55,040
Speaker 1: there and I just laughed with on the phone. I

1437
01:12:55,040 --> 01:12:56,800
Speaker 1: got the phone, I went to sleep, had a dream,

1438
01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,000
Speaker 1: and I had a dream that because every time we

1439
01:12:59,000 --> 01:13:01,000
Speaker 1: were we were friends, she was dating, she d up

1440
01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 1: dating somebody else and then it don't work out, and

1441
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:05,720
Speaker 1: then you know, I'm dating somebody or whatnot, and so

1442
01:13:06,040 --> 01:13:10,200
Speaker 1: that day that from the end of January to until

1443
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:12,679
Speaker 1: we got together, she was single and I was singling.

1444
01:13:12,800 --> 01:13:15,680
Speaker 1: So I was like, hmmm, I keep thinking about this

1445
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:18,680
Speaker 1: woman all the time, and then it came into my subconscious.

1446
01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:20,640
Speaker 1: Went to sleep, woke up the next morning she was

1447
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:22,760
Speaker 1: with some guy and I got jealous and I was like,

1448
01:13:24,160 --> 01:13:27,960
Speaker 1: this man done took my woman, I said. I woke

1449
01:13:28,040 --> 01:13:31,920
Speaker 1: up in the morning. I called us. I woke up

1450
01:13:31,920 --> 01:13:34,479
Speaker 1: in the morning and I was like, it's too early

1451
01:13:34,520 --> 01:13:36,160
Speaker 1: to call of this. I'm gonna wait to six, but

1452
01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:41,000
Speaker 1: fave O two, I'm calling. By the way to six CLO.

1453
01:13:41,120 --> 01:13:41,360
Speaker 3: I called.

1454
01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,840
Speaker 1: I said, hey, I said, I started telling. I said,

1455
01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:45,920
Speaker 1: I had this dream or whatever, and and I had

1456
01:13:45,960 --> 01:13:48,080
Speaker 1: dream that she was with this guy whatever, like like

1457
01:13:48,120 --> 01:13:49,960
Speaker 1: you know, and she was like, what I mean, good morning?

1458
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:52,439
Speaker 1: I said, okay, good morning, but hold on, I was.

1459
01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:56,839
Speaker 1: I was spasing out. I was spasing out, and I said, listen,

1460
01:13:57,120 --> 01:13:58,880
Speaker 1: I know we've been friends for over a year. It's

1461
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:00,599
Speaker 1: about a year and three months of the time. I said,

1462
01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:02,400
Speaker 1: we've been a year a friend for about year and

1463
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,519
Speaker 1: three months. I said, listen, I got to see if

1464
01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,880
Speaker 1: it's more to this, I said, because we've been, We've

1465
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:11,400
Speaker 1: been solid. I've watched you date other people. These people

1466
01:14:11,400 --> 01:14:14,280
Speaker 1: can't cover you like I can. And I said, listen,

1467
01:14:15,479 --> 01:14:17,120
Speaker 1: I want to I want to take you on the date.

1468
01:14:17,520 --> 01:14:19,680
Speaker 1: And I said every time I go to La we

1469
01:14:19,760 --> 01:14:21,800
Speaker 1: go out and it's just a platonic little lunch or

1470
01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:23,840
Speaker 1: dinner whatnot. I said, this is going to be a

1471
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:26,320
Speaker 1: romantic date. I want to know if there's more to

1472
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:29,920
Speaker 1: us than just friendship. When are you available? She said,

1473
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:33,240
Speaker 1: looked at her calendar, March the eighteenth. I said, dang,

1474
01:14:33,280 --> 01:14:36,720
Speaker 1: that's a long time. I just gonna come a little bit.

1475
01:14:38,280 --> 01:14:43,759
Speaker 1: Wait a tomorrow, she said, listen eighteenth. He said, lord,

1476
01:14:43,760 --> 01:14:46,080
Speaker 1: this is it. Eighteen nineteen more days. So I said,

1477
01:14:46,479 --> 01:14:49,240
Speaker 1: all right, cool. I booked a flight. While we're on

1478
01:14:49,280 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 1: that phone, I said, I'm coming to see you March

1479
01:14:51,080 --> 01:14:53,360
Speaker 1: the eighteenth. And in that moment I was sitting there,

1480
01:14:53,479 --> 01:14:55,680
Speaker 1: but we've been so you know, platonic friends that it was.

1481
01:14:55,840 --> 01:14:58,240
Speaker 1: She was like, I don't want to ruin the friendship

1482
01:14:58,320 --> 01:15:06,680
Speaker 1: and care about this friendship like my wife. Yeah, I'm like,

1483
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:08,800
Speaker 1: and this is interesting. And then so she was just like,

1484
01:15:08,840 --> 01:15:10,880
Speaker 1: all right, let's see. And so on the eighteenth, I

1485
01:15:10,960 --> 01:15:12,800
Speaker 1: went there or whatnot. And I was just like And

1486
01:15:13,080 --> 01:15:14,800
Speaker 1: a couple of days prior to that, I told her,

1487
01:15:14,800 --> 01:15:17,360
Speaker 1: I said, listen, because she still open the date of

1488
01:15:17,360 --> 01:15:19,080
Speaker 1: other people. I was still open the date of other folks.

1489
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:20,920
Speaker 1: And I was like, I just don't want no more distractions.

1490
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:24,840
Speaker 1: I said, listen when I come down the eighteenth. A

1491
01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:26,760
Speaker 1: couple of days before that, I said, I'm committed to

1492
01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:29,320
Speaker 1: you before the commitment. Because I always teach people all

1493
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:31,320
Speaker 1: the time, I said, date, folks, and date, and then

1494
01:15:31,479 --> 01:15:34,000
Speaker 1: if God says y'all alive, then y'all not stopping each

1495
01:15:34,040 --> 01:15:36,559
Speaker 1: other from meeting each other's person. So y'all just date.

1496
01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:39,599
Speaker 1: And when y'all, if God says that's your wife, that's

1497
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:42,320
Speaker 1: your husband, get confirmation, then y'all become committed to one another.

1498
01:15:42,600 --> 01:15:44,759
Speaker 1: But in that moment, I said, I don't want nobody

1499
01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:48,439
Speaker 1: but her Jesus, and I said until God gives her

1500
01:15:48,840 --> 01:15:51,720
Speaker 1: the confirmation that I'm the one, I'm confirmed enough and

1501
01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:53,720
Speaker 1: I'm a move like she's the one. And I told

1502
01:15:53,760 --> 01:15:56,080
Speaker 1: her straight up. She was just like okay. I said, no,

1503
01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:58,240
Speaker 1: you keep doing what you're doing, keep doing what you're doing.

1504
01:15:58,640 --> 01:16:01,160
Speaker 1: I'm fingna move with intention. And that's exactly what I did.

1505
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:04,280
Speaker 3: Did you know, like, did you know what? You were

1506
01:16:04,439 --> 01:16:05,240
Speaker 3: just kind of waiting?

1507
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:09,360
Speaker 4: Well, I think the transition for me was a process.

1508
01:16:09,640 --> 01:16:12,560
Speaker 3: Okay, process, speaking.

1509
01:16:12,240 --> 01:16:16,400
Speaker 9: Of process, But what I knew in February I had

1510
01:16:16,400 --> 01:16:20,080
Speaker 9: read all these books about neurotransmitters, and so he was

1511
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:23,600
Speaker 9: my friend and he had never tried anything. But I

1512
01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:28,320
Speaker 9: knew that a sign of vasappressing developing in men was

1513
01:16:28,439 --> 01:16:32,120
Speaker 9: mate guarding. And so when a man starts to mate guard,

1514
01:16:32,479 --> 01:16:36,320
Speaker 9: that's usually a sign that there's like a shift, right,

1515
01:16:36,640 --> 01:16:39,040
Speaker 9: So he's now protecting you in a way where he

1516
01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:42,080
Speaker 9: sees you as something because he had never asked me

1517
01:16:42,240 --> 01:16:44,680
Speaker 9: about who I was with or he had never been

1518
01:16:44,760 --> 01:16:48,040
Speaker 9: concerned about that. But he was angry. So for me,

1519
01:16:52,840 --> 01:16:55,920
Speaker 9: really angry, I was like, oh, something shifted. And so

1520
01:16:56,080 --> 01:17:00,320
Speaker 9: for me, I was like I saw him as my friend.

1521
01:17:00,520 --> 01:17:02,360
Speaker 9: I saw him as one of my closest friends. I

1522
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:05,559
Speaker 9: was telling him all my business, you know that sort

1523
01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:08,240
Speaker 9: of thing. So it was like, how do how? I

1524
01:17:08,280 --> 01:17:11,479
Speaker 9: just had questions like, how do we get from from

1525
01:17:11,520 --> 01:17:13,240
Speaker 9: this to this?

1526
01:17:13,479 --> 01:17:16,560
Speaker 2: Did you feel like you had to give up the close.

1527
01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:17,760
Speaker 6: Friends a little bit?

1528
01:17:18,400 --> 01:17:23,639
Speaker 9: Because yeah, and I think because sometimes when you're dating,

1529
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:29,599
Speaker 9: there's like this performative nature attached to it if you're not.

1530
01:17:29,640 --> 01:17:32,320
Speaker 9: And that's why his friend of fiance thing resonated so

1531
01:17:32,400 --> 01:17:35,120
Speaker 9: deeply because I was like, on one hand, this is

1532
01:17:35,160 --> 01:17:38,080
Speaker 9: really good because I've been myself and you want me,

1533
01:17:38,760 --> 01:17:40,960
Speaker 9: you know what I mean? And sometimes I have to

1534
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:43,799
Speaker 9: say yeah, like I don't have to fake anything, versus

1535
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:46,400
Speaker 9: sometimes when you meet someone and someone's like, oh, let

1536
01:17:46,439 --> 01:17:47,479
Speaker 9: me introduce you to my friend.

1537
01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:49,799
Speaker 4: You're gonna step with your best foot forward.

1538
01:17:50,080 --> 01:17:53,960
Speaker 3: I'm like you about it?

1539
01:17:56,080 --> 01:17:56,559
Speaker 2: Amazing.

1540
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:00,479
Speaker 9: I could see how it was going to happen, but I,

1541
01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:04,000
Speaker 9: just like I said last week, wanted to just wait

1542
01:18:04,080 --> 01:18:07,960
Speaker 9: to see actions and words align and to be sober

1543
01:18:08,120 --> 01:18:11,719
Speaker 9: because I know that you know the scripture, be sober,

1544
01:18:11,800 --> 01:18:14,320
Speaker 9: be vigilant for your adversary growth about seeking who we

1545
01:18:14,360 --> 01:18:14,920
Speaker 9: can devour.

1546
01:18:15,080 --> 01:18:17,759
Speaker 4: I know the way to devour me is my heart

1547
01:18:18,439 --> 01:18:19,679
Speaker 4: because I'm such a lover.

1548
01:18:20,120 --> 01:18:22,559
Speaker 9: And I was like, oh man, that would really crush

1549
01:18:22,640 --> 01:18:24,960
Speaker 9: me if I lose If I get my heart broken

1550
01:18:25,160 --> 01:18:26,719
Speaker 9: and I lose my friend.

1551
01:18:26,680 --> 01:18:28,879
Speaker 2: Wow, nice, that's crazy.

1552
01:18:28,960 --> 01:18:31,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, nobody asked you all to start interviewing.

1553
01:18:31,040 --> 01:18:45,599
Speaker 11: Up to them, you know, and I.

1554
01:18:45,560 --> 01:18:52,720
Speaker 1: Knew always asked them to ask whatever you go to

1555
01:18:52,760 --> 01:18:55,760
Speaker 1: the middle of this, and so that transition once you

1556
01:18:55,840 --> 01:18:58,160
Speaker 1: started finding the alignment and saying, hey, I'm gonna go

1557
01:18:58,160 --> 01:19:00,599
Speaker 1: ahead and take this step forward to try transition from

1558
01:19:00,680 --> 01:19:02,320
Speaker 1: y'all's friendship. What did they look like?

1559
01:19:03,320 --> 01:19:03,519
Speaker 7: Oh?

1560
01:19:03,520 --> 01:19:04,320
Speaker 3: It was beautiful.

1561
01:19:04,320 --> 01:19:06,679
Speaker 5: One of the things that I love that I keep

1562
01:19:06,760 --> 01:19:09,800
Speaker 5: talking about him carrying this with such crazy. He's so gracious.

1563
01:19:09,960 --> 01:19:12,600
Speaker 5: He is the calm to our storms. We have a

1564
01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:14,800
Speaker 5: few storms in our family, mainly me and the two

1565
01:19:14,800 --> 01:19:17,000
Speaker 5: girls and that little little boy.

1566
01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:19,280
Speaker 2: But he then.

1567
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:23,800
Speaker 5: Started to process and think through ways of managing the

1568
01:19:23,840 --> 01:19:26,720
Speaker 5: transition now, like what does this look like and how

1569
01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:29,720
Speaker 5: can I protect her, especially with the platform with me

1570
01:19:29,800 --> 01:19:34,960
Speaker 5: being a divorced man, me having children. He thought through

1571
01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:39,280
Speaker 5: all of that and was very communicative with the entire family.

1572
01:19:39,680 --> 01:19:41,280
Speaker 3: Even from the beginning.

1573
01:19:41,320 --> 01:19:45,200
Speaker 5: It wasn't always Peaches and Creed, you know, with his

1574
01:19:45,320 --> 01:19:48,040
Speaker 5: ex wife and with our children's mom, and that was

1575
01:19:48,120 --> 01:19:51,519
Speaker 5: a relationship and communication that had to be developed so

1576
01:19:51,600 --> 01:19:54,320
Speaker 5: much so to one day it's two stories that I

1577
01:19:54,360 --> 01:19:58,800
Speaker 5: have and I love Shy. That's our baby mama and Devin,

1578
01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:02,439
Speaker 5: our oldest baby. He's mom too. But Shaya, she reached

1579
01:20:02,479 --> 01:20:05,639
Speaker 5: out to me. She had seen an article with will

1580
01:20:05,720 --> 01:20:11,479
Speaker 5: Smith and his Jada and his oldest baby's mom and

1581
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:15,200
Speaker 5: in that are in that interview, she said, I can

1582
01:20:15,280 --> 01:20:18,360
Speaker 5: love you because of the way that you love my children.

1583
01:20:18,840 --> 01:20:21,439
Speaker 5: And there was like this wall that Shaya had had up,

1584
01:20:21,439 --> 01:20:23,200
Speaker 5: even though she was open to us spending time with

1585
01:20:23,240 --> 01:20:25,799
Speaker 5: the kids. But one of the things that kids needs

1586
01:20:25,840 --> 01:20:28,120
Speaker 5: to they need to see is that the three of

1587
01:20:28,200 --> 01:20:31,559
Speaker 5: us are also aligned. And that was always his prayer

1588
01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:34,400
Speaker 5: for sure and mine. And when Shaya saw that, she

1589
01:20:34,479 --> 01:20:36,160
Speaker 5: sent me a message and both of us just cried,

1590
01:20:36,240 --> 01:20:38,240
Speaker 5: like she was like, I can't help but to love

1591
01:20:38,280 --> 01:20:40,960
Speaker 5: you because of the way you love my children. And

1592
01:20:41,040 --> 01:20:44,400
Speaker 5: from that moment until this one, we have been There's

1593
01:20:44,520 --> 01:20:47,320
Speaker 5: nothing that we don't talk about about our kids. Nothing,

1594
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:49,080
Speaker 5: There's nothing we're not going to show up to.

1595
01:20:49,160 --> 01:20:49,920
Speaker 3: Even with Asher.

1596
01:20:50,160 --> 01:20:52,200
Speaker 5: She's involved with Asher, She's just like, well, Asher got

1597
01:20:52,240 --> 01:20:55,240
Speaker 5: going on. I mean, it's it's a family unit that

1598
01:20:55,280 --> 01:20:58,120
Speaker 5: we are committed to. And I know, you know, it's

1599
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:01,920
Speaker 5: sometimes it sounds so distant for people, and I understand that.

1600
01:21:02,320 --> 01:21:05,080
Speaker 5: I feel like, you know, what we can't do in

1601
01:21:05,120 --> 01:21:08,040
Speaker 5: our own strength, that's where faith goes to work. You know,

1602
01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:10,640
Speaker 5: there are some things I couldn't have ever been the

1603
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:12,120
Speaker 5: one to show her that article.

1604
01:21:12,160 --> 01:21:13,439
Speaker 3: God had to make that happen.

1605
01:21:13,680 --> 01:21:17,439
Speaker 5: He will provide a window or door of opportunity for

1606
01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:19,560
Speaker 5: his voice to be heard in their lives and not

1607
01:21:19,680 --> 01:21:20,920
Speaker 5: anybody that's listening to that.

1608
01:21:20,960 --> 01:21:22,679
Speaker 3: And you're dealing with a blended family.

1609
01:21:22,840 --> 01:21:25,479
Speaker 5: I know sometimes it could be challenging, but where you

1610
01:21:25,520 --> 01:21:27,599
Speaker 5: have come to the end of yourself, that's when it's

1611
01:21:27,640 --> 01:21:30,439
Speaker 5: an opportunity for you to trust God to work a miracle.

1612
01:21:30,640 --> 01:21:32,920
Speaker 5: And I am a living witness, a living testimony that

1613
01:21:33,200 --> 01:21:35,280
Speaker 5: he can do it. And so with Kenny, that's what

1614
01:21:35,400 --> 01:21:38,479
Speaker 5: he did. He just began to build our unit. What

1615
01:21:38,520 --> 01:21:40,800
Speaker 5: does this family look like? And you got to talk

1616
01:21:40,840 --> 01:21:44,759
Speaker 5: about like the privacy. Our wedding was private, like nobody

1617
01:21:44,760 --> 01:21:47,120
Speaker 5: even knew they were coming to a wedding, Like so

1618
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:49,080
Speaker 5: I can even tell you that I think we talked

1619
01:21:49,080 --> 01:21:52,200
Speaker 5: about the lifetime So I understand what you're saying about

1620
01:21:52,240 --> 01:21:54,000
Speaker 5: the dear future wife and you didn't want her to

1621
01:21:54,000 --> 01:21:56,280
Speaker 5: be revealed too soon and all that. We had a

1622
01:21:56,320 --> 01:21:58,599
Speaker 5: private wedding, So it was at the top of the year.

1623
01:21:58,680 --> 01:22:00,760
Speaker 5: We got married March third.

1624
01:22:00,479 --> 01:22:03,719
Speaker 6: We even had a private relationship though for a while,

1625
01:22:03,840 --> 01:22:07,120
Speaker 6: Like I remember the label now because I was her

1626
01:22:07,240 --> 01:22:09,280
Speaker 6: MD and we were working together.

1627
01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:13,480
Speaker 2: And when y'all started.

1628
01:22:13,200 --> 01:22:14,439
Speaker 3: They were not y'all married.

1629
01:22:17,800 --> 01:22:21,400
Speaker 5: And so we decided that we would do a New

1630
01:22:21,479 --> 01:22:23,760
Speaker 5: Year's dinner that we wanted to share with our friends

1631
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:30,680
Speaker 5: and family in March in our godparents, our parents, our

1632
01:22:30,720 --> 01:22:34,719
Speaker 5: close friends, pastors, and we invited them to a dinner.

1633
01:22:34,840 --> 01:22:36,799
Speaker 3: We literally had invitations designed.

1634
01:22:36,840 --> 01:22:39,800
Speaker 5: They looked like wedding invitations, had our initials and everything on.

1635
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:40,720
Speaker 3: It was beautiful.

1636
01:22:40,960 --> 01:22:43,559
Speaker 5: And we went to a venue in Atlanta, and when

1637
01:22:43,600 --> 01:22:46,080
Speaker 5: people drove up, from the moment that they drove up,

1638
01:22:46,120 --> 01:22:50,160
Speaker 5: I wanted them to know surprise. So we had valet outside.

1639
01:22:50,240 --> 01:22:53,280
Speaker 5: We had the wedding cake in the window.

1640
01:22:53,080 --> 01:22:53,559
Speaker 2: And all of it.

1641
01:22:53,680 --> 01:22:55,840
Speaker 5: Like my god father, Pastor Mark Baker, he was like,

1642
01:22:55,880 --> 01:22:57,360
Speaker 5: now you know, you should have told me I would

1643
01:22:57,360 --> 01:22:58,240
Speaker 5: to put on something else.

1644
01:22:59,120 --> 01:23:00,519
Speaker 3: It was just that like there was.

1645
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:03,439
Speaker 5: It was not open to the world because we we

1646
01:23:03,560 --> 01:23:07,800
Speaker 5: lived so public public. There was this is the one

1647
01:23:07,840 --> 01:23:10,519
Speaker 5: thing that we want the presence of God to be here,

1648
01:23:10,720 --> 01:23:13,040
Speaker 5: and we want our loved ones, those who support us,

1649
01:23:13,160 --> 01:23:15,040
Speaker 5: who are going to be pushing for us and praying

1650
01:23:15,040 --> 01:23:17,000
Speaker 5: for us, to be in that room. And so they

1651
01:23:17,040 --> 01:23:19,040
Speaker 5: showed up thinking they were coming to a dinner and

1652
01:23:19,080 --> 01:23:21,479
Speaker 5: it was our wedding. We got March March the third,

1653
01:23:21,479 --> 01:23:23,920
Speaker 5: twenty seventeen, so we're coming up on nine years now,

1654
01:23:24,240 --> 01:23:26,400
Speaker 5: and it was it was exactly what we prayed for.

1655
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:28,720
Speaker 5: The Presence of God was there. Bishop Murphy got up

1656
01:23:28,720 --> 01:23:32,000
Speaker 5: and he sang Alpha and Omega. The presence of the

1657
01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:36,440
Speaker 5: Lord was there. Our pastors, Bishop Peers and Lady Davy,

1658
01:23:36,680 --> 01:23:39,839
Speaker 5: they did the wedding. It was just everything we wanted

1659
01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:42,000
Speaker 5: and it was It was not open. It was the

1660
01:23:42,040 --> 01:23:44,080
Speaker 5: one thing where we were like, hey, God, we don't

1661
01:23:44,080 --> 01:23:45,760
Speaker 5: want this to be a spectacle.

1662
01:23:45,760 --> 01:23:48,760
Speaker 3: We don't want it. We want this to be private

1663
01:23:49,040 --> 01:23:50,720
Speaker 3: with just your presence. And that's what it was.

1664
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:52,599
Speaker 7: Dating.

1665
01:23:52,720 --> 01:23:55,479
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, they knew we were dating. They knew

1666
01:23:55,479 --> 01:23:57,400
Speaker 3: we were dating. Yeah, not labeled it.

1667
01:23:57,479 --> 01:23:57,519
Speaker 2: No.

1668
01:23:58,800 --> 01:24:01,080
Speaker 1: So we had this us that we was talking about

1669
01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:04,200
Speaker 1: making that like an event for doorhowks you remember, and

1670
01:24:04,280 --> 01:24:07,160
Speaker 1: just inviting everybody, all her family and friends, and and

1671
01:24:07,200 --> 01:24:08,760
Speaker 1: she was like, I was like, will your family come

1672
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:10,880
Speaker 1: if it was something that you were doing with your company.

1673
01:24:10,920 --> 01:24:13,240
Speaker 1: She was. We were trying to figure out everything, know

1674
01:24:13,240 --> 01:24:14,920
Speaker 1: how to do it, and we just could not come

1675
01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:18,960
Speaker 1: up with what y'all came up with was clearly brilliant.

1676
01:24:19,400 --> 01:24:23,240
Speaker 5: They all showed up, one of them and you what

1677
01:24:23,439 --> 01:24:25,000
Speaker 5: thing they had like a thought.

1678
01:24:25,320 --> 01:24:26,320
Speaker 3: Many of us told us.

1679
01:24:26,600 --> 01:24:28,280
Speaker 5: Many of them told us, no, we really thought we

1680
01:24:28,280 --> 01:24:33,080
Speaker 5: were coming to a dinner reception.

1681
01:24:33,479 --> 01:24:36,080
Speaker 3: Everything. It was beautiful. They were there for the reception,

1682
01:24:36,240 --> 01:24:36,879
Speaker 3: our dances.

1683
01:24:36,960 --> 01:24:37,240
Speaker 7: It was.

1684
01:24:38,680 --> 01:24:42,599
Speaker 6: How many people we had about.

1685
01:24:43,400 --> 01:24:49,240
Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, because I remember I remember, yeah,

1686
01:24:49,280 --> 01:24:51,599
Speaker 5: I remember doing the invitations. And they started ging how

1687
01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:54,080
Speaker 5: this works, and started growing and growing more and more people.

1688
01:24:54,320 --> 01:24:56,920
Speaker 5: And I had this anxiety. And so Sarah is one

1689
01:24:56,920 --> 01:24:58,880
Speaker 5: of my closest friends. I call pasted Sarah because she

1690
01:24:58,960 --> 01:25:02,559
Speaker 5: had just done and Pastor Torrey had done a closed

1691
01:25:02,600 --> 01:25:03,679
Speaker 5: wedding as well, and.

1692
01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:03,960
Speaker 3: I called her.

1693
01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:07,040
Speaker 5: I said, I just need I need an ear really

1694
01:25:07,120 --> 01:25:09,439
Speaker 5: quick because and she was one of the ones that

1695
01:25:09,479 --> 01:25:11,519
Speaker 5: I told. I was like, I'm planning a wedding and

1696
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:14,640
Speaker 5: I'm being overwhelmed because I wanted to be intimate. And

1697
01:25:14,680 --> 01:25:17,400
Speaker 5: she was like, Tasha, this is about you and your husband.

1698
01:25:17,880 --> 01:25:19,600
Speaker 5: This is about you and your husband and God and

1699
01:25:19,600 --> 01:25:22,360
Speaker 5: what you're called to do. And she said, any anxiety

1700
01:25:22,479 --> 01:25:24,519
Speaker 5: or fears that you have, we cast them out now

1701
01:25:24,560 --> 01:25:27,479
Speaker 5: in Jesus' name and God will reveal the people who

1702
01:25:27,640 --> 01:25:29,439
Speaker 5: are supposed to be in that room. And I remember

1703
01:25:29,479 --> 01:25:31,680
Speaker 5: going back through that list, and it wasn't that I

1704
01:25:31,680 --> 01:25:34,000
Speaker 5: didn't care, It wasn't that I didn't love you, love you,

1705
01:25:34,280 --> 01:25:36,280
Speaker 5: but there are certain people that God desires to be

1706
01:25:36,320 --> 01:25:38,840
Speaker 5: in this room for this, for this cause. And so

1707
01:25:38,880 --> 01:25:41,880
Speaker 5: it was literally our list probably was about one hundred

1708
01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:43,080
Speaker 5: to one hundred and ten people.

1709
01:25:43,360 --> 01:25:45,360
Speaker 1: What would you say, Because a lot of people deal

1710
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:47,719
Speaker 1: with a lot of guilt from people not being invited

1711
01:25:47,840 --> 01:25:51,240
Speaker 1: or whatever, and weddings can get extremely expensive. So what

1712
01:25:51,280 --> 01:25:54,320
Speaker 1: would you say to speak to people who may be

1713
01:25:54,439 --> 01:25:58,400
Speaker 1: planning their wedding now and they budget won't even allow

1714
01:25:58,560 --> 01:26:00,799
Speaker 1: for the amount of people that they want to come,

1715
01:26:01,240 --> 01:26:03,439
Speaker 1: or just like you said, God has spoken a word

1716
01:26:03,520 --> 01:26:05,759
Speaker 1: to them to say, get a specific group of people

1717
01:26:05,800 --> 01:26:07,880
Speaker 1: in the room. And I'll share this before you say that.

1718
01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:11,200
Speaker 1: My original idea was, will I want to get married

1719
01:26:11,240 --> 01:26:14,120
Speaker 1: in Dallas, where I have all these relationship with churches,

1720
01:26:14,120 --> 01:26:16,720
Speaker 1: already had Concord Church on hold, where I was going

1721
01:26:16,800 --> 01:26:19,880
Speaker 1: to have just invite everybody there. I mean, whoever want

1722
01:26:19,920 --> 01:26:22,080
Speaker 1: to come come to the wedding. Now, the reception is different,

1723
01:26:22,320 --> 01:26:24,880
Speaker 1: but the wedding let everybody come. It be three thousand

1724
01:26:24,920 --> 01:26:28,200
Speaker 1: people there, I asked. It was like, I don't want that,

1725
01:26:29,320 --> 01:26:31,320
Speaker 1: She said, I don't want people in that room that

1726
01:26:31,400 --> 01:26:34,599
Speaker 1: I don't personally know that. I just I want that

1727
01:26:34,720 --> 01:26:37,320
Speaker 1: room curated with the people that know us and love us.

1728
01:26:37,760 --> 01:26:40,519
Speaker 1: And that was one of my compromises, not only just

1729
01:26:40,880 --> 01:26:43,960
Speaker 1: the compromise of the people that would come, but even

1730
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:44,840
Speaker 1: have it in La.

1731
01:26:45,040 --> 01:26:47,360
Speaker 2: She said, Listen, I was born and raised in La.

1732
01:26:47,479 --> 01:26:48,599
Speaker 2: Can we just have it in La?

1733
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:49,040
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1734
01:26:49,080 --> 01:26:49,719
Speaker 1: I said, cool.

1735
01:26:49,760 --> 01:26:50,160
Speaker 3: I love that.

1736
01:26:50,240 --> 01:26:52,040
Speaker 1: And so it went all the way down from venues

1737
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:55,519
Speaker 1: that hold three thousand to five thousand seats to Warren

1738
01:26:55,560 --> 01:26:58,400
Speaker 1: Campbell and Erica Campbell's church, and we said this was

1739
01:26:58,439 --> 01:26:59,880
Speaker 1: going to be and it's not going to be open

1740
01:27:00,040 --> 01:27:03,040
Speaker 1: to the public in person now virtual That was a compromise.

1741
01:27:03,080 --> 01:27:05,240
Speaker 2: She said, you do it virtually. Yeah, so go and

1742
01:27:05,240 --> 01:27:05,519
Speaker 2: do that.

1743
01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:14,840
Speaker 3: But I should have said that.

1744
01:27:16,880 --> 01:27:20,639
Speaker 1: We were grateful to be in the room, but that's

1745
01:27:20,640 --> 01:27:23,559
Speaker 1: what it was. So I would say to you and

1746
01:27:23,560 --> 01:27:26,639
Speaker 1: then like the number stretch, she said, originally her idea

1747
01:27:26,840 --> 01:27:29,439
Speaker 1: for an intimate wedding was what around what.

1748
01:27:29,920 --> 01:27:32,519
Speaker 9: Like seventy five to one hundred people, because I always

1749
01:27:32,520 --> 01:27:34,599
Speaker 9: feel like like kind of what you said. A lot

1750
01:27:34,600 --> 01:27:38,040
Speaker 9: of people come to look and it's yys, but they're

1751
01:27:38,040 --> 01:27:40,479
Speaker 9: not praying for you. And I know how important covenant

1752
01:27:40,560 --> 01:27:44,280
Speaker 9: is to God. So I like my threshold and barometer

1753
01:27:44,439 --> 01:27:47,760
Speaker 9: is like, can I call you and when something is

1754
01:27:47,800 --> 01:27:50,519
Speaker 9: going on in my world, you're gonna say go home,

1755
01:27:50,520 --> 01:27:52,360
Speaker 9: We're gonna pray, and then you gonna go home to

1756
01:27:52,400 --> 01:27:53,760
Speaker 9: your husband, you know what I mean?

1757
01:27:53,880 --> 01:27:55,160
Speaker 3: Like some people come.

1758
01:27:54,960 --> 01:27:59,240
Speaker 9: To create divisions and I just want to vet everyone

1759
01:27:59,400 --> 01:28:01,719
Speaker 9: on the list to say, like, what is your heart

1760
01:28:01,760 --> 01:28:04,760
Speaker 9: posture for this right here before you come in the room.

1761
01:28:04,880 --> 01:28:07,880
Speaker 5: Yes, I think that answers your question, though it is

1762
01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:11,519
Speaker 5: like who are the people that's gonna be praying a

1763
01:28:11,600 --> 01:28:14,200
Speaker 5: year from now? Yeah, you know they're not coming in

1764
01:28:14,240 --> 01:28:16,599
Speaker 5: to get the next social media clip, right, And to

1765
01:28:16,640 --> 01:28:19,200
Speaker 5: say that I was on the guest list, you know,

1766
01:28:19,840 --> 01:28:23,519
Speaker 5: I feel like for anybody that's feeling that anxiety, just

1767
01:28:23,640 --> 01:28:25,640
Speaker 5: release that. Keep the main thing the main thing, and

1768
01:28:25,680 --> 01:28:28,280
Speaker 5: the main thing is the presence of God on your union,

1769
01:28:28,479 --> 01:28:29,360
Speaker 5: and that's it.

1770
01:28:29,600 --> 01:28:32,240
Speaker 1: The president of God. And so what was so great

1771
01:28:32,280 --> 01:28:36,599
Speaker 1: about y'all's journey? Y'all y'all celebrating what nine years come?

1772
01:28:36,960 --> 01:28:38,320
Speaker 3: In March nine years.

1773
01:28:38,560 --> 01:28:41,760
Speaker 1: March third. We always said, somebody perfectly spoke to us

1774
01:28:41,800 --> 01:28:43,880
Speaker 1: that March is a special month for us. That's when

1775
01:28:43,880 --> 01:28:46,160
Speaker 1: we got together and all this stuff, and both our

1776
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:49,439
Speaker 1: birthdays in March. Marsh twenty my birthday, March the twenty ninth,

1777
01:28:49,479 --> 01:28:50,840
Speaker 1: Hers Marsha thirty first.

1778
01:28:50,920 --> 01:28:51,120
Speaker 8: Wow.

1779
01:28:51,439 --> 01:28:54,720
Speaker 1: Wow, two days, two days and two days and ten

1780
01:28:54,800 --> 01:29:03,400
Speaker 1: years apart. You know, I'm younger, but I'm a baby.

1781
01:29:03,560 --> 01:29:06,679
Speaker 1: You know, I got me a cougar, but I'm forty seven.

1782
01:29:06,720 --> 01:29:09,320
Speaker 1: She's thirty seven. So whereas exactly two days and ten

1783
01:29:09,400 --> 01:29:12,360
Speaker 1: years apart? And then I joke and say two hours

1784
01:29:12,360 --> 01:29:14,160
Speaker 1: from a time zone because I'm in Texas and she

1785
01:29:14,200 --> 01:29:18,160
Speaker 1: was born in La. But when you look at your

1786
01:29:18,280 --> 01:29:22,920
Speaker 1: marriage nine years, what for the people who feel like

1787
01:29:23,040 --> 01:29:25,439
Speaker 1: marriage has no value? I want both of y'all to

1788
01:29:25,479 --> 01:29:29,439
Speaker 1: answer that what did your marriage bring you that your

1789
01:29:29,479 --> 01:29:30,519
Speaker 1: single life couldn't have.

1790
01:29:31,360 --> 01:29:33,559
Speaker 5: I'll jump in first, because I know he got a word.

1791
01:29:34,240 --> 01:29:36,680
Speaker 5: I will say the word of God. A man that

1792
01:29:36,800 --> 01:29:41,479
Speaker 5: finds a wife finds faate, obtains favor with the Lord,

1793
01:29:41,760 --> 01:29:43,640
Speaker 5: like there are some people and he talks about this,

1794
01:29:43,640 --> 01:29:44,640
Speaker 5: and I don't want you to go into that a

1795
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:47,320
Speaker 5: little bit like you're trying. There are some people trying

1796
01:29:47,360 --> 01:29:51,360
Speaker 5: to do something that requires favor without the favor. Like

1797
01:29:51,400 --> 01:29:54,160
Speaker 5: we just talked about we hosted a mass wedding where

1798
01:29:54,200 --> 01:29:58,280
Speaker 5: six couples got married in our church and that you'll

1799
01:29:58,280 --> 01:30:01,719
Speaker 5: be surprised, and we were sharing with them the favor. Now,

1800
01:30:02,080 --> 01:30:05,080
Speaker 5: that makes this easier because when people say marriage is hard,

1801
01:30:05,160 --> 01:30:07,400
Speaker 5: I combat that, like marriage is hard.

1802
01:30:07,360 --> 01:30:08,719
Speaker 3: Until you realize it's easy.

1803
01:30:09,000 --> 01:30:11,720
Speaker 5: It's easy when you allow God to lead you and

1804
01:30:11,760 --> 01:30:14,519
Speaker 5: guide you and show you you. Many times we're trying

1805
01:30:14,520 --> 01:30:16,240
Speaker 5: to change our spouse when God is saying, if you,

1806
01:30:16,479 --> 01:30:19,200
Speaker 5: if you work on you, I got everything else.

1807
01:30:19,200 --> 01:30:20,639
Speaker 3: That's why this is a threefold corps.

1808
01:30:20,720 --> 01:30:23,080
Speaker 5: There is nothing that we do where we leave him

1809
01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:25,600
Speaker 5: out because this is the three of us. You know

1810
01:30:25,600 --> 01:30:28,960
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. So I feel like the favor comes

1811
01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:32,679
Speaker 5: you obtain favor both of us. You know, I share

1812
01:30:32,720 --> 01:30:36,439
Speaker 5: this testimony. That was it a three weeks. Three weeks

1813
01:30:36,439 --> 01:30:40,360
Speaker 5: after we got married, we recorded our album Heart Pastial Pursuit.

1814
01:30:40,400 --> 01:30:43,160
Speaker 3: And we have been doing albums together probably.

1815
01:30:42,960 --> 01:30:47,599
Speaker 5: Two three four years yes before that, and they did great.

1816
01:30:47,640 --> 01:30:48,599
Speaker 3: The Alpus did great.

1817
01:30:48,680 --> 01:30:51,000
Speaker 5: And I'm not even thinking Heart Passion Pursuit is going

1818
01:30:51,080 --> 01:30:53,839
Speaker 5: to do what it did. But because of the favor

1819
01:30:53,880 --> 01:30:57,679
Speaker 5: that came with the Covenant that we had, that album

1820
01:30:57,760 --> 01:31:01,000
Speaker 5: broke every single record that year and that album won

1821
01:31:01,040 --> 01:31:03,640
Speaker 5: every single award that year. And I just have to

1822
01:31:03,720 --> 01:31:08,879
Speaker 5: believe that God's favor was it was what impacted.

1823
01:31:08,360 --> 01:31:09,879
Speaker 3: Now our ministry together.

1824
01:31:10,000 --> 01:31:12,519
Speaker 5: There's something we've been ministering together, but we were not

1825
01:31:12,640 --> 01:31:16,080
Speaker 5: in Covenant. When we got into Covenant, God gave us

1826
01:31:16,200 --> 01:31:17,080
Speaker 5: a greater favor.

1827
01:31:17,200 --> 01:31:17,799
Speaker 1: That's problem.

1828
01:31:17,920 --> 01:31:21,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, just to piggyback off that door, yeah, I was.

1829
01:31:21,120 --> 01:31:23,880
Speaker 6: I was just had this revelation, Like people always say

1830
01:31:23,920 --> 01:31:27,120
Speaker 6: marriage is hard marriages and these are married people, I

1831
01:31:27,200 --> 01:31:29,160
Speaker 6: know it, which means they have the favorite.

1832
01:31:29,280 --> 01:31:29,679
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1833
01:31:29,720 --> 01:31:34,000
Speaker 6: You got to imagine doing something outside of Covenant and

1834
01:31:34,080 --> 01:31:37,960
Speaker 6: trying to handle it with the same handle, the weight

1835
01:31:38,080 --> 01:31:43,000
Speaker 6: of something that requires favor, and even with favor, it's

1836
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:45,840
Speaker 6: a heavy lift, Yes it is. And so I was like, man,

1837
01:31:46,439 --> 01:31:49,160
Speaker 6: I want to make sure we get people to understand

1838
01:31:49,200 --> 01:31:52,559
Speaker 6: the grace of marriage. And over nine years, what it's

1839
01:31:52,600 --> 01:31:57,439
Speaker 6: brought me is that grace. For one, it's also helped

1840
01:31:57,439 --> 01:32:04,320
Speaker 6: me to really fight off my ego and selfishness. Pastor

1841
01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:06,400
Speaker 6: John Gray said one of the greatest things one time

1842
01:32:06,439 --> 01:32:11,720
Speaker 6: he said, marriage is guy's attack on selfishness. Woo, And

1843
01:32:11,760 --> 01:32:16,800
Speaker 6: I was like, but but you see, I've seen over

1844
01:32:16,840 --> 01:32:21,320
Speaker 6: the years there were some unnecessary struggles we had because

1845
01:32:21,360 --> 01:32:26,200
Speaker 6: I was so so committed to my own self righteousness

1846
01:32:26,479 --> 01:32:31,400
Speaker 6: being right, or my own emotions or it's like she says,

1847
01:32:31,439 --> 01:32:33,120
Speaker 6: I'm a processor. And this was one of the things

1848
01:32:33,160 --> 01:32:35,800
Speaker 6: we had to overcome earlier in our marriage, because it

1849
01:32:35,800 --> 01:32:37,960
Speaker 6: would be weeks and weeks and weeks that I'm not

1850
01:32:38,000 --> 01:32:38,720
Speaker 6: even speaking to you.

1851
01:32:38,960 --> 01:32:42,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, what in the world, And I'm the.

1852
01:32:42,240 --> 01:32:47,040
Speaker 6: Total over She mentioned it is what are we going

1853
01:32:47,080 --> 01:32:47,360
Speaker 6: to eat?

1854
01:32:48,520 --> 01:32:50,880
Speaker 5: We could have a disagreement and I'm like all right

1855
01:32:51,560 --> 01:32:54,880
Speaker 5: with him, and I had not experienced that before, so

1856
01:32:55,439 --> 01:32:58,599
Speaker 5: as oh, this speaks volumes because the enemy will use

1857
01:32:58,640 --> 01:33:01,880
Speaker 5: anything as a tool. He'll try because I was rejected,

1858
01:33:02,080 --> 01:33:03,800
Speaker 5: that was one of my That was one of the

1859
01:33:03,800 --> 01:33:07,040
Speaker 5: things I had to overcome was rejection. Fear and anxiety

1860
01:33:07,280 --> 01:33:09,320
Speaker 5: that stemmed from the root of rejection.

1861
01:33:09,800 --> 01:33:10,680
Speaker 3: And so do it.

1862
01:33:10,880 --> 01:33:13,439
Speaker 5: To him, I'm just processing this and I'll be all

1863
01:33:13,520 --> 01:33:16,400
Speaker 5: right in a week. To me, it's saying, oh, you're

1864
01:33:16,439 --> 01:33:19,200
Speaker 5: rejecting me, you don't want me, you don't love me.

1865
01:33:19,520 --> 01:33:22,120
Speaker 3: I'm not good enough. I'm not enough. And so we

1866
01:33:22,200 --> 01:33:24,599
Speaker 3: had to find that how this.

1867
01:33:24,560 --> 01:33:27,680
Speaker 5: Can work together because when you do that, and I

1868
01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:30,120
Speaker 5: know it's just your personality, but this is how it

1869
01:33:30,160 --> 01:33:30,880
Speaker 5: makes me feel.

1870
01:33:31,640 --> 01:33:35,000
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, And so even in that we have this mantra,

1871
01:33:35,080 --> 01:33:38,840
Speaker 6: divorce is not an option. My thought was, bru, it's

1872
01:33:38,960 --> 01:33:41,439
Speaker 6: stupid for you to walk around here with a chip

1873
01:33:41,479 --> 01:33:50,320
Speaker 6: on your shoulder and y'all ain't going over. So I

1874
01:33:50,439 --> 01:33:55,679
Speaker 6: just learned to let it go. Nowhere another nine years

1875
01:33:55,720 --> 01:33:59,599
Speaker 6: brought me was that season's end. And there's some there's

1876
01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:03,479
Speaker 6: some seasons that are tougher than others. My commitment is

1877
01:34:03,520 --> 01:34:08,000
Speaker 6: not to make a season of cycle, because you seasons

1878
01:34:08,080 --> 01:34:11,639
Speaker 6: just in with time, but cycles in when we change

1879
01:34:13,720 --> 01:34:18,040
Speaker 6: and so so I wish I could take credit for that,

1880
01:34:18,120 --> 01:34:21,559
Speaker 6: but like Passidarius, he's coached me in so many ways.

1881
01:34:22,160 --> 01:34:24,800
Speaker 6: That's so, and I could go into that, but literally,

1882
01:34:25,960 --> 01:34:31,439
Speaker 6: I learned to see seasons differently because what I found

1883
01:34:31,560 --> 01:34:34,000
Speaker 6: is when we made it through those seasons.

1884
01:34:33,720 --> 01:34:35,080
Speaker 2: Our relationship was better.

1885
01:34:35,439 --> 01:34:38,559
Speaker 6: It was stronger when my season of carrying that chip

1886
01:34:38,600 --> 01:34:42,280
Speaker 6: on my shoulder was over. Now I'm learning that see,

1887
01:34:42,320 --> 01:34:44,840
Speaker 6: I inadvertently was pushing the trigger. I didn't even know

1888
01:34:44,880 --> 01:34:47,760
Speaker 6: I was pushing, so now it's causing more problems. Now

1889
01:34:47,760 --> 01:34:49,600
Speaker 6: I've not only got to deal with what I was

1890
01:34:49,640 --> 01:34:54,640
Speaker 6: mad about, now I gotta deal with about what exactly,

1891
01:34:54,960 --> 01:34:58,720
Speaker 6: And so getting through that cause save me the issues

1892
01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:02,200
Speaker 6: of a this stuff. Here's the last thing I'll say

1893
01:35:02,240 --> 01:35:04,799
Speaker 6: about that. And this is all of this I'm learning

1894
01:35:04,920 --> 01:35:08,040
Speaker 6: even sitting here. It was about perspective. There were many

1895
01:35:08,160 --> 01:35:13,280
Speaker 6: things that would let me use some some hot words,

1896
01:35:13,320 --> 01:35:18,880
Speaker 6: right nag, that would that would bother me about her,

1897
01:35:19,520 --> 01:35:23,400
Speaker 6: And God gave me this revelation that there are the

1898
01:35:23,520 --> 01:35:26,000
Speaker 6: things that bothered me about her were the things I

1899
01:35:26,040 --> 01:35:30,880
Speaker 6: was called to cover and not criticized. And so now

1900
01:35:31,200 --> 01:35:35,080
Speaker 6: I started I started seeing my role as a covering differently.

1901
01:35:35,920 --> 01:35:37,240
Speaker 2: And there were like that.

1902
01:35:37,400 --> 01:35:40,920
Speaker 6: Like she she's she's in a space that I need

1903
01:35:40,920 --> 01:35:43,880
Speaker 6: to cover her, not criticize and make it worse.

1904
01:35:46,000 --> 01:35:54,400
Speaker 2: Wow, we had a whole marriage retreat.

1905
01:35:55,160 --> 01:35:59,519
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something, y'all, man, think of a question.

1906
01:36:01,680 --> 01:36:04,800
Speaker 2: I'm over here, good Lord Jesus, I talked.

1907
01:36:04,840 --> 01:36:06,680
Speaker 6: I talked to a lot of a lot of men,

1908
01:36:06,800 --> 01:36:09,639
Speaker 6: especially those that I'm I'm called and grace to lead,

1909
01:36:10,320 --> 01:36:12,920
Speaker 6: that are ready to give up in a season that's

1910
01:36:12,960 --> 01:36:17,040
Speaker 6: not a cycle and ready to give up because it

1911
01:36:17,720 --> 01:36:21,439
Speaker 6: doesn't feel like love. And I was thinking about this

1912
01:36:21,439 --> 01:36:24,599
Speaker 6: will probably be one of a key that I'll leave.

1913
01:36:24,720 --> 01:36:28,480
Speaker 6: But like, this is a decision, Love is a decision.

1914
01:36:29,040 --> 01:36:33,280
Speaker 6: This is an intentional decision that you make to show

1915
01:36:33,400 --> 01:36:38,120
Speaker 6: up and honor a covenant. It's not contingent on your feelings.

1916
01:36:38,400 --> 01:36:41,040
Speaker 6: Bible said our heart. You can't trust our heart. No,

1917
01:36:41,200 --> 01:36:46,360
Speaker 6: there's no good thing in it right, no good things right.

1918
01:36:46,720 --> 01:36:49,759
Speaker 6: And so don't follow your heart, follow your covenant.

1919
01:36:50,960 --> 01:36:52,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you you may, we don't.

1920
01:36:53,080 --> 01:36:56,559
Speaker 6: I don't have to base my actions off of how

1921
01:36:56,640 --> 01:36:59,280
Speaker 6: I feel because I can lean on my covenant. I

1922
01:36:59,280 --> 01:37:03,200
Speaker 6: can lean on the decision that I made not just

1923
01:37:03,360 --> 01:37:06,720
Speaker 6: at a wedding, but in front of God. And I

1924
01:37:06,800 --> 01:37:09,679
Speaker 6: know that because we have that threefold court, I never

1925
01:37:09,720 --> 01:37:11,719
Speaker 6: have to do any of this in my own strength

1926
01:37:11,760 --> 01:37:13,320
Speaker 6: because he's always entangled in.

1927
01:37:14,360 --> 01:37:17,000
Speaker 5: I want to plug right here, though, because my husband

1928
01:37:17,120 --> 01:37:19,080
Speaker 5: is definitely called to me in and I love that

1929
01:37:19,120 --> 01:37:20,080
Speaker 5: you kept saying that me.

1930
01:37:20,120 --> 01:37:20,640
Speaker 3: I need to hear this.

1931
01:37:20,720 --> 01:37:22,360
Speaker 5: Man, need to hear this, even being led in that

1932
01:37:22,400 --> 01:37:24,240
Speaker 5: moment to ask him to minister to the.

1933
01:37:24,200 --> 01:37:26,160
Speaker 3: Men at the end of this month.

1934
01:37:26,320 --> 01:37:29,080
Speaker 5: He's been for years preparing to host the conference that

1935
01:37:29,120 --> 01:37:32,880
Speaker 5: God released him to host. It's called Mentality, and it's happening.

1936
01:37:32,600 --> 01:37:34,000
Speaker 6: In January twenty thirty two.

1937
01:37:34,120 --> 01:37:35,400
Speaker 3: They were twenty third, twenty fourth.

1938
01:37:35,400 --> 01:37:37,760
Speaker 5: Then we have some powerful, powerful moments that are gonna

1939
01:37:37,760 --> 01:37:39,880
Speaker 5: be happening at that conference, and I just feel like

1940
01:37:40,200 --> 01:37:41,280
Speaker 5: you needed to share that.

1941
01:37:42,120 --> 01:37:44,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's gonna drop next week. So that's on the

1942
01:37:44,640 --> 01:37:46,479
Speaker 1: what is that the what's the next Wednesday?

1943
01:37:46,520 --> 01:37:47,400
Speaker 3: What's the conference dates?

1944
01:37:48,360 --> 01:37:48,880
Speaker 2: Twenty fourth?

1945
01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:53,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, in church. So first one, I

1946
01:37:53,960 --> 01:37:57,720
Speaker 6: am very nervous and excited because you know, growing up,

1947
01:37:57,800 --> 01:38:01,719
Speaker 6: I never saw myself as the and still the alpha

1948
01:38:01,840 --> 01:38:03,840
Speaker 6: male or the that you know what I mean, like

1949
01:38:03,960 --> 01:38:09,280
Speaker 6: that quintessential toxic maximinity. And I realized that that most

1950
01:38:09,320 --> 01:38:12,840
Speaker 6: men aren't, and even even those that are, there are

1951
01:38:12,880 --> 01:38:15,840
Speaker 6: some things that we need to hear because a lot

1952
01:38:15,880 --> 01:38:20,639
Speaker 6: of us are self restrictive and we're holding ourselves back

1953
01:38:21,280 --> 01:38:24,280
Speaker 6: because of just the way we see life. And the

1954
01:38:24,360 --> 01:38:29,439
Speaker 6: thing that God showed me was that like life isn't

1955
01:38:29,479 --> 01:38:32,639
Speaker 6: left to be meant to be lived alone, that we

1956
01:38:32,720 --> 01:38:36,040
Speaker 6: grow in community. The reason why I was able to

1957
01:38:36,160 --> 01:38:39,439
Speaker 6: overcome all of the stuff that was that was driving

1958
01:38:39,560 --> 01:38:43,760
Speaker 6: me is because because God placed me in communities and

1959
01:38:43,800 --> 01:38:48,120
Speaker 6: in relationship of other healthy men with the same faith,

1960
01:38:48,320 --> 01:38:52,320
Speaker 6: with the same struggles, but we don't feed those. And

1961
01:38:52,640 --> 01:38:55,760
Speaker 6: mentality is a space where men will come that we

1962
01:38:55,840 --> 01:39:01,000
Speaker 6: can talk about in a very real way the things

1963
01:39:01,040 --> 01:39:04,200
Speaker 6: that have been on our heart. And because you you

1964
01:39:04,320 --> 01:39:06,320
Speaker 6: mentioned it a second, I thought about it when you

1965
01:39:06,360 --> 01:39:08,680
Speaker 6: said it, how like I don't want to have to

1966
01:39:08,720 --> 01:39:14,400
Speaker 6: give up my my true self because now I gotta

1967
01:39:14,479 --> 01:39:17,160
Speaker 6: guard your feelings and emotions. I could tell you about

1968
01:39:17,160 --> 01:39:19,200
Speaker 6: my date before, but I can't.

1969
01:39:19,400 --> 01:39:19,800
Speaker 3: I can't.

1970
01:39:19,880 --> 01:39:22,599
Speaker 6: So when men get together, there are certain things that

1971
01:39:22,640 --> 01:39:26,840
Speaker 6: we say it and maybe even it isn't that we

1972
01:39:26,880 --> 01:39:29,360
Speaker 6: wouldn't say it in front of our wives or in

1973
01:39:29,400 --> 01:39:31,320
Speaker 6: front of our children, but it would be how we

1974
01:39:31,520 --> 01:39:37,240
Speaker 6: say it coating and don't. God is building those spaces

1975
01:39:37,600 --> 01:39:40,200
Speaker 6: where we will be able to my wife I love.

1976
01:39:40,280 --> 01:39:42,879
Speaker 6: She has a revelation of iron sharpening iron we mentioned earlier.

1977
01:39:42,920 --> 01:39:45,919
Speaker 6: But what are you sharp What are you sharpening?

1978
01:39:47,040 --> 01:39:47,519
Speaker 3: That's good?

1979
01:39:47,840 --> 01:39:49,639
Speaker 6: And there are some of us that have been living

1980
01:39:49,720 --> 01:39:54,800
Speaker 6: seasons being sharpened into pain, into poison, into stuff that's

1981
01:39:54,840 --> 01:39:58,280
Speaker 6: not pushing us into purpose all because we want to

1982
01:39:58,320 --> 01:40:01,400
Speaker 6: have fun or want to have moments and so mentality

1983
01:40:01,400 --> 01:40:03,479
Speaker 6: Man is an opportunity for us to get together. We're

1984
01:40:03,479 --> 01:40:05,519
Speaker 6: gonna I got this thing set up called a man

1985
01:40:05,600 --> 01:40:09,040
Speaker 6: Cave where you just go sit and you chill and

1986
01:40:09,120 --> 01:40:13,000
Speaker 6: you just literally reset. We're doing competitions. We're gonna do

1987
01:40:13,280 --> 01:40:19,120
Speaker 6: a bench press competition, free throw competition, because men are competitive,

1988
01:40:20,760 --> 01:40:24,360
Speaker 6: and we got some incredible speakers of Pastor Brian Bullet

1989
01:40:24,400 --> 01:40:27,360
Speaker 6: will be there, Bishop Brian Pierce to be there, Pastor

1990
01:40:27,479 --> 01:40:32,800
Speaker 6: John Gray will be there, Roosevelt will be there, and

1991
01:40:33,200 --> 01:40:37,360
Speaker 6: they literally have been called to be able to do

1992
01:40:37,479 --> 01:40:41,760
Speaker 6: impartation man, because you know, there are many things that

1993
01:40:41,800 --> 01:40:46,280
Speaker 6: we do where we have the information, but you need

1994
01:40:46,280 --> 01:40:48,960
Speaker 6: an impartation to be able to have the power to

1995
01:40:49,000 --> 01:40:51,400
Speaker 6: do it. In that's one of the reasons why God

1996
01:40:51,439 --> 01:40:54,120
Speaker 6: gives us. He gives us the Holy Spirit when we

1997
01:40:54,479 --> 01:40:56,599
Speaker 6: give our life to Him, when we get saved. It's

1998
01:40:56,600 --> 01:40:59,800
Speaker 6: a gift that you get because now you're able to

1999
01:41:00,040 --> 01:41:03,479
Speaker 6: operate in a power that's not your own out of

2000
01:41:04,080 --> 01:41:08,040
Speaker 6: and so as these impartations will know what to do,

2001
01:41:08,280 --> 01:41:10,760
Speaker 6: but the impartations are gonna give us power to do.

2002
01:41:10,800 --> 01:41:15,519
Speaker 2: It how They.

2003
01:41:16,920 --> 01:41:19,240
Speaker 6: Can go to my tpp dot org. It's our church

2004
01:41:19,240 --> 01:41:22,680
Speaker 6: website and the registration is there, It's a link in

2005
01:41:22,760 --> 01:41:26,080
Speaker 6: my bile. Yeah yeah, and just register, man, bring your

2006
01:41:26,080 --> 01:41:27,120
Speaker 6: boys come out.

2007
01:41:27,479 --> 01:41:30,280
Speaker 2: I really, really, really believe that.

2008
01:41:30,479 --> 01:41:33,360
Speaker 6: When we see a shift in our men and our leaders,

2009
01:41:33,560 --> 01:41:36,920
Speaker 6: that will see a shift in our literal region and

2010
01:41:36,960 --> 01:41:41,160
Speaker 6: our nation, and especially for us as men of color,

2011
01:41:41,520 --> 01:41:43,920
Speaker 6: but any man. I mean, I think that for us

2012
01:41:43,920 --> 01:41:46,799
Speaker 6: to be able to operate in the strength that God

2013
01:41:47,560 --> 01:41:51,680
Speaker 6: just gives us and not deny the power of it,

2014
01:41:51,800 --> 01:41:54,599
Speaker 6: I think that we get an opportunity to see see

2015
01:41:55,240 --> 01:41:58,720
Speaker 6: literally exceeding abundantly above all we ask, think or imagine,

2016
01:41:58,760 --> 01:42:00,880
Speaker 6: like God is gonna blow out our minds through this.

2017
01:42:01,240 --> 01:42:03,720
Speaker 1: Again, I want you to share what has God told

2018
01:42:03,760 --> 01:42:05,760
Speaker 1: you prophetically over your region.

2019
01:42:06,080 --> 01:42:06,960
Speaker 2: Over our region.

2020
01:42:07,040 --> 01:42:10,439
Speaker 6: God is shared with me that this is a season

2021
01:42:10,680 --> 01:42:16,240
Speaker 6: where He is bringing people literally back to Him. And

2022
01:42:16,560 --> 01:42:20,639
Speaker 6: we have literally been trying to do things based off

2023
01:42:20,680 --> 01:42:24,880
Speaker 6: of Grandmama's and Granddaddy's revelation of God. But what he

2024
01:42:25,040 --> 01:42:27,160
Speaker 6: called us to do, and it's our church vision, is

2025
01:42:27,200 --> 01:42:29,639
Speaker 6: to restore hope to the community and beat the hands

2026
01:42:29,680 --> 01:42:32,360
Speaker 6: and feet of Jesus. But when he said restore hope,

2027
01:42:32,360 --> 01:42:34,920
Speaker 6: he said, I want you to go back, pull back

2028
01:42:34,960 --> 01:42:37,400
Speaker 6: all the fluff because we're in a season where people

2029
01:42:37,439 --> 01:42:41,559
Speaker 6: don't want fluff anymore. They don't want theatrics, they want

2030
01:42:41,920 --> 01:42:46,360
Speaker 6: what did God say? Because He's only obligated to what

2031
01:42:46,400 --> 01:42:48,080
Speaker 6: he says, not what we.

2032
01:42:48,120 --> 01:42:49,160
Speaker 2: Thought he says.

2033
01:42:49,600 --> 01:42:52,400
Speaker 6: And in this season, God is saying in our region,

2034
01:42:52,600 --> 01:42:56,080
Speaker 6: we're getting ready to see more peace, more joy, more

2035
01:42:56,200 --> 01:43:03,680
Speaker 6: power than ever before because we'll operate in a line alignment.

2036
01:43:03,960 --> 01:43:09,160
Speaker 1: I think any question my mind is just so much

2037
01:43:09,600 --> 01:43:10,240
Speaker 1: fool right.

2038
01:43:10,120 --> 01:43:11,640
Speaker 3: Now, Jesus.

2039
01:43:14,080 --> 01:43:17,160
Speaker 9: I guess the question I would want to know before

2040
01:43:18,200 --> 01:43:22,760
Speaker 9: y'all leave us is just you're approaching is it nine years?

2041
01:43:22,840 --> 01:43:28,000
Speaker 9: Nine years in three months, less than three months? What

2042
01:43:28,200 --> 01:43:31,559
Speaker 9: have you learned that if there were just say you

2043
01:43:31,600 --> 01:43:33,400
Speaker 9: were a dear future wife and there was a new

2044
01:43:33,439 --> 01:43:38,920
Speaker 9: couple who just got married, you know, last month, if

2045
01:43:38,960 --> 01:43:43,960
Speaker 9: that were the case, what advice, what wisdom?

2046
01:43:44,520 --> 01:43:46,639
Speaker 4: Obviously you're going to fill out a key to love, but.

2047
01:43:46,640 --> 01:43:51,160
Speaker 9: What would you say specifically for newlyweds that helped you

2048
01:43:51,560 --> 01:43:53,080
Speaker 9: When you guys first said I.

2049
01:43:53,000 --> 01:43:57,320
Speaker 5: Do yeah, I'll start, I would say from the beginning,

2050
01:43:58,280 --> 01:44:01,360
Speaker 5: just really die. Just that we're on the same team,

2051
01:44:01,680 --> 01:44:04,479
Speaker 5: and we're both sports people. We both played basketball, I

2052
01:44:04,479 --> 01:44:08,120
Speaker 5: played everything, softball, track, I've done it all. And one

2053
01:44:08,120 --> 01:44:11,160
Speaker 5: of the things I support putting your kids on teams

2054
01:44:11,200 --> 01:44:12,240
Speaker 5: because there's nothing.

2055
01:44:12,000 --> 01:44:13,160
Speaker 3: Like learning teamwork.

2056
01:44:13,800 --> 01:44:16,080
Speaker 5: And one of the things that we are committed to

2057
01:44:16,360 --> 01:44:19,720
Speaker 5: is that you practice with your teammate. You know, you

2058
01:44:19,880 --> 01:44:22,719
Speaker 5: know they are weak spots, you know where they're injured

2059
01:44:22,720 --> 01:44:25,400
Speaker 5: when they got injured in practice last week. There has

2060
01:44:25,520 --> 01:44:27,160
Speaker 5: never been a time where I'm going to get in

2061
01:44:27,200 --> 01:44:30,439
Speaker 5: a game with my teammate and go directly to their

2062
01:44:30,479 --> 01:44:32,400
Speaker 5: injury and trigger it.

2063
01:44:32,560 --> 01:44:35,080
Speaker 3: That's good because I want us to win.

2064
01:44:35,800 --> 01:44:37,479
Speaker 5: And so I feel like a lot of times at

2065
01:44:37,520 --> 01:44:40,400
Speaker 5: the beginning of marriage, at the beginning of the game,

2066
01:44:40,880 --> 01:44:44,240
Speaker 5: we go in attacking our teammate because we.

2067
01:44:44,160 --> 01:44:47,840
Speaker 3: Want to be right. I want God's glory on my

2068
01:44:47,960 --> 01:44:49,760
Speaker 3: marriage more than I want to be right.

2069
01:44:50,200 --> 01:44:53,960
Speaker 5: And if that means I don't injure my teammate because

2070
01:44:54,000 --> 01:44:56,840
Speaker 5: we're all going towards the same goal, then I won't

2071
01:44:56,880 --> 01:44:59,960
Speaker 5: injure him. I know more than anybody in this world

2072
01:45:00,160 --> 01:45:02,679
Speaker 5: how to trigger my husband, but I will never press

2073
01:45:02,680 --> 01:45:05,599
Speaker 5: that button, and I won't let and then I won't

2074
01:45:05,640 --> 01:45:07,320
Speaker 5: let anybody else press that button.

2075
01:45:07,360 --> 01:45:08,080
Speaker 3: As far as I can.

2076
01:45:08,240 --> 01:45:11,439
Speaker 5: You know, I actually fight, but you know what I'm saying,

2077
01:45:11,640 --> 01:45:15,880
Speaker 5: and so that's one of the things that come on here. Yeah,

2078
01:45:15,920 --> 01:45:18,280
Speaker 5: and that's one of the things that I for sure

2079
01:45:18,360 --> 01:45:20,840
Speaker 5: and too had to learn very early that we're on

2080
01:45:20,880 --> 01:45:23,600
Speaker 5: the same team. So even when we have a disagreement,

2081
01:45:23,880 --> 01:45:28,240
Speaker 5: we're disagreeing, not so I can win or he can win,

2082
01:45:28,520 --> 01:45:30,560
Speaker 5: but so we can get to a space of peace.

2083
01:45:31,160 --> 01:45:35,040
Speaker 3: You know, and so not not to because if he loses,

2084
01:45:35,160 --> 01:45:36,960
Speaker 3: then I move, you know.

2085
01:45:37,360 --> 01:45:39,479
Speaker 5: So what does it mean if you were writing a

2086
01:45:39,520 --> 01:45:43,880
Speaker 5: conversation and you in the argument, nobody won, nobody want.

2087
01:45:44,040 --> 01:45:45,679
Speaker 5: And so that is one of the things that you

2088
01:45:45,920 --> 01:45:47,320
Speaker 5: focus on, is that, Hey, this.

2089
01:45:47,280 --> 01:45:49,240
Speaker 3: Is my teammate. I always keep that in the back

2090
01:45:49,240 --> 01:45:49,800
Speaker 3: of my mind.

2091
01:45:50,040 --> 01:45:50,479
Speaker 1: That's good.

2092
01:45:50,560 --> 01:45:51,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so good.

2093
01:45:51,920 --> 01:45:52,519
Speaker 3: That's so good.

2094
01:45:53,439 --> 01:45:53,679
Speaker 2: First.

2095
01:45:53,840 --> 01:46:03,559
Speaker 6: Yeah, man, it's so many things. One I would say,

2096
01:46:03,760 --> 01:46:10,800
Speaker 6: I would say cast your crowns consistently. That when I

2097
01:46:10,840 --> 01:46:12,760
Speaker 6: say catch your crowns, for those who may not know,

2098
01:46:13,160 --> 01:46:17,559
Speaker 6: it's literally a meaning of like, I'm giving up all

2099
01:46:17,560 --> 01:46:20,080
Speaker 6: of my ways of thinking that I'm right, all of

2100
01:46:20,120 --> 01:46:26,679
Speaker 6: my righteousness and submitting to his. And in a marriage,

2101
01:46:27,360 --> 01:46:31,639
Speaker 6: I think when you're able to master that skill, well,

2102
01:46:32,640 --> 01:46:36,320
Speaker 6: it allows you to move with more speed. And so

2103
01:46:37,479 --> 01:46:41,840
Speaker 6: by casting your crowns even means like my idea of

2104
01:46:41,880 --> 01:46:44,880
Speaker 6: what I thought marriage would be should be, and it's

2105
01:46:44,960 --> 01:46:49,280
Speaker 6: going to be. This is your marriage, this is and

2106
01:46:49,439 --> 01:46:54,480
Speaker 6: how let let it develop however God wants it to develop.

2107
01:46:55,400 --> 01:47:00,280
Speaker 6: You don't have to conform to any because this is yours.

2108
01:47:00,320 --> 01:47:03,680
Speaker 6: This is your unique thumb print. And I'll even give

2109
01:47:03,680 --> 01:47:06,479
Speaker 6: you an example. Most people feel like, So, my wife

2110
01:47:06,479 --> 01:47:08,559
Speaker 6: and I, this is how we communicate when we have

2111
01:47:08,640 --> 01:47:13,520
Speaker 6: serious conversations. We text instead of having face to face conversations.

2112
01:47:13,880 --> 01:47:17,160
Speaker 6: And what it does is, especially for me, is the processor.

2113
01:47:17,400 --> 01:47:20,280
Speaker 6: I get an opportunity to be able to and I

2114
01:47:20,320 --> 01:47:22,320
Speaker 6: don't we ever really made a decision to do this.

2115
01:47:22,439 --> 01:47:25,719
Speaker 6: It just happens. But I get an opportunity to communicate clearly.

2116
01:47:25,760 --> 01:47:28,680
Speaker 6: She gets an opportunity to communicate with me clearly, and

2117
01:47:28,720 --> 01:47:31,200
Speaker 6: we're able to. This is ours. This is just how

2118
01:47:31,200 --> 01:47:33,240
Speaker 6: we do it. Most people will say, it's serious, you

2119
01:47:33,240 --> 01:47:36,599
Speaker 6: need to talk face to face. This is ours. What

2120
01:47:36,680 --> 01:47:39,680
Speaker 6: works with us, So don't judge us, or you can,

2121
01:47:40,040 --> 01:47:40,559
Speaker 6: but this is.

2122
01:47:41,960 --> 01:47:43,360
Speaker 3: But I will say, we do eventually.

2123
01:47:43,600 --> 01:47:46,280
Speaker 5: So what we find is that the texting it clears

2124
01:47:46,320 --> 01:47:50,360
Speaker 5: out that the initial space of heat if we are

2125
01:47:50,439 --> 01:47:52,040
Speaker 5: face to face, it ain't gonna be nothing but a

2126
01:47:52,080 --> 01:47:53,160
Speaker 5: bunch of coming at each other.

2127
01:47:53,439 --> 01:47:54,240
Speaker 3: But we don't need that.

2128
01:47:54,800 --> 01:47:58,760
Speaker 5: We are we are intentional about the peace in our

2129
01:47:58,800 --> 01:48:01,040
Speaker 5: house and the peace in our marriage. And so if

2130
01:48:01,080 --> 01:48:03,920
Speaker 5: communicating via text message, and even if there's a question

2131
01:48:03,960 --> 01:48:06,559
Speaker 5: about what was in the text, because we got rid

2132
01:48:06,680 --> 01:48:10,080
Speaker 5: of that initial heat, we can now sit and have

2133
01:48:10,160 --> 01:48:13,600
Speaker 5: a peaceful conversation about what the disagreement was. So we

2134
01:48:13,720 --> 01:48:15,559
Speaker 5: always come back and we talk about it.

2135
01:48:16,040 --> 01:48:20,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, and it's just you'll you'll miss the evolution if

2136
01:48:20,400 --> 01:48:23,040
Speaker 6: you stay committed to a certain path and like my

2137
01:48:23,600 --> 01:48:27,760
Speaker 6: wife at one point like a certain candy and then

2138
01:48:27,840 --> 01:48:29,639
Speaker 6: a year later she hates this my.

2139
01:48:29,600 --> 01:48:33,639
Speaker 3: Favorite snack change all the time. Yeah, he'll pick up somebody.

2140
01:48:33,720 --> 01:48:38,360
Speaker 3: I got you. I'm like, I thought you like now

2141
01:48:38,439 --> 01:48:39,640
Speaker 3: His will remain.

2142
01:48:39,439 --> 01:48:48,679
Speaker 6: The same yesterday today, follow Jesus. But if you don't

2143
01:48:48,720 --> 01:48:52,479
Speaker 6: say that close, that close, to keep your ear that

2144
01:48:52,600 --> 01:48:56,760
Speaker 6: close to what's happening, you'll be like so committed. Well,

2145
01:48:57,320 --> 01:49:00,519
Speaker 6: and they'll be literally telling you I don't like twigs anymore?

2146
01:49:00,840 --> 01:49:01,280
Speaker 3: Yes, you do?

2147
01:49:01,439 --> 01:49:06,480
Speaker 6: You always like like so Caship Crown consistently.

2148
01:49:06,680 --> 01:49:07,080
Speaker 2: I don't know.

2149
01:49:07,160 --> 01:49:09,960
Speaker 6: So where we're at today, I don't know, are we

2150
01:49:10,120 --> 01:49:11,160
Speaker 6: at today.

2151
01:49:11,680 --> 01:49:17,040
Speaker 1: That's good. Well, here's so in the first ten seasons

2152
01:49:17,080 --> 01:49:18,800
Speaker 1: of the Dear Future Wifey podcast, I would write a

2153
01:49:18,840 --> 01:49:23,040
Speaker 1: letter to my future wife and that letter manifested this

2154
01:49:23,160 --> 01:49:26,479
Speaker 1: amazing woman here, Ashley. And so now I said that

2155
01:49:26,680 --> 01:49:29,280
Speaker 1: I want to create this wall the Keys to Love,

2156
01:49:29,320 --> 01:49:31,920
Speaker 1: where I asked each guest to write down the key

2157
01:49:31,960 --> 01:49:34,000
Speaker 1: to love and then hanging on the wall. So if

2158
01:49:34,040 --> 01:49:38,519
Speaker 1: you look in that box there, you'll have the open

2159
01:49:38,600 --> 01:49:41,360
Speaker 1: up box there, it's a little key and a piece

2160
01:49:41,360 --> 01:49:43,280
Speaker 1: of paper and a pen. This is beautiful and I

2161
01:49:43,320 --> 01:49:46,400
Speaker 1: want you to write a note on that use as

2162
01:49:47,160 --> 01:49:50,000
Speaker 1: the book. I got something for you for you?

2163
01:49:50,240 --> 01:49:54,200
Speaker 10: Is it stealing if we just keep its borrowing?

2164
01:49:54,400 --> 01:49:59,880
Speaker 1: Borrow long term, borrow long term, each side of the

2165
01:50:00,040 --> 01:50:03,000
Speaker 1: onside of the keyside on the flipp it just flipped

2166
01:50:03,000 --> 01:50:04,679
Speaker 1: the key up. Well however you want to do it? Yeah,

2167
01:50:04,800 --> 01:50:07,600
Speaker 1: and it's right across the long way. How have you

2168
01:50:07,640 --> 01:50:07,880
Speaker 1: on to?

2169
01:50:08,720 --> 01:50:09,120
Speaker 2: Uh?

2170
01:50:09,200 --> 01:50:11,160
Speaker 1: And then asking now just convert? So what you think

2171
01:50:11,160 --> 01:50:13,360
Speaker 1: about this episode? This is our first interview that we

2172
01:50:13,400 --> 01:50:13,880
Speaker 1: did together.

2173
01:50:14,200 --> 01:50:15,479
Speaker 2: This this is amazing.

2174
01:50:16,040 --> 01:50:18,000
Speaker 1: Couldn't pick the better, I guess, huh.

2175
01:50:18,080 --> 01:50:19,439
Speaker 9: I just wish that they could stay here.

2176
01:50:21,400 --> 01:50:22,439
Speaker 3: Do they have to go home.

2177
01:50:23,200 --> 01:50:24,599
Speaker 2: He said, Mommy, can we keep them?

2178
01:50:26,400 --> 01:50:28,240
Speaker 3: Come back? Can we go visit?

2179
01:50:28,560 --> 01:50:30,040
Speaker 1: You know what? We do need to get out there.

2180
01:50:30,040 --> 01:50:32,280
Speaker 2: Are y'all gonna be doing like anything for Valentine's Day

2181
01:50:32,280 --> 01:50:32,599
Speaker 2: this year?

2182
01:50:33,160 --> 01:50:36,320
Speaker 3: We always do this, so we do a series put.

2183
01:50:36,280 --> 01:50:39,840
Speaker 5: On program Sex Love and Relationships, Sex Love and the

2184
01:50:40,040 --> 01:50:42,479
Speaker 5: entire month of February, and then we ended with a

2185
01:50:42,520 --> 01:50:44,320
Speaker 5: panel similar to the one we did with you.

2186
01:50:44,960 --> 01:50:46,679
Speaker 3: I would love to have y'all.

2187
01:50:46,479 --> 01:50:53,719
Speaker 1: Comfort all right, come on, come on, madam. I love

2188
01:50:53,800 --> 01:50:57,000
Speaker 1: your church though I love the spirit of your church.

2189
01:50:57,080 --> 01:50:59,680
Speaker 1: It's so cool, man. They got this amazing property that

2190
01:50:59,720 --> 01:51:01,639
Speaker 1: they have, and I mean it's a lot of room

2191
01:51:01,720 --> 01:51:05,000
Speaker 1: for expansion because of the building they got. But yeah,

2192
01:51:05,000 --> 01:51:07,439
Speaker 1: it would be great. That'd be great to do that,

2193
01:51:07,800 --> 01:51:10,479
Speaker 1: especially be in the place that the night I left

2194
01:51:10,800 --> 01:51:12,000
Speaker 1: I had about you.

2195
01:51:12,680 --> 01:51:15,000
Speaker 9: Yeah, and you kept saying how beautiful it was.

2196
01:51:15,200 --> 01:51:17,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, I told you, I said, I just I felt

2197
01:51:17,640 --> 01:51:20,760
Speaker 1: it was just amazing. That More that that, I had

2198
01:51:20,760 --> 01:51:25,040
Speaker 1: a counseling session with love Matt Peerson the that noon

2199
01:51:25,120 --> 01:51:27,920
Speaker 1: about about one or two o'clock, I can't remember now,

2200
01:51:28,040 --> 01:51:32,280
Speaker 1: but right before I did uh their their their service,

2201
01:51:32,520 --> 01:51:33,960
Speaker 1: and I was like, hey, I want to schedule this

2202
01:51:34,080 --> 01:51:36,680
Speaker 1: counseling session on the day that I'm there, And so

2203
01:51:36,800 --> 01:51:39,479
Speaker 1: I scheduled that and then I went to their church.

2204
01:51:39,800 --> 01:51:42,080
Speaker 1: All right, y'all wrote it? Now what y'all wrote?

2205
01:51:42,720 --> 01:51:45,920
Speaker 6: I wrote what I just said, cash your count crown consistently,

2206
01:51:47,439 --> 01:51:48,920
Speaker 6: and I wrote.

2207
01:51:48,960 --> 01:51:52,519
Speaker 5: The key to love is selflessness and constant communication, and

2208
01:51:52,600 --> 01:51:53,560
Speaker 5: constant communication.

2209
01:51:53,880 --> 01:51:55,559
Speaker 1: Let me have y'all go hang that up on the

2210
01:51:55,560 --> 01:51:56,240
Speaker 1: hooks over there.

2211
01:51:56,360 --> 01:51:57,160
Speaker 2: Let's hang it up.

2212
01:51:57,240 --> 01:51:58,240
Speaker 3: Hang with how many?

2213
01:51:58,560 --> 01:52:07,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Held me the book? We can you bring my

2214
01:52:07,280 --> 01:52:08,360
Speaker 1: gifts for my guests?

2215
01:52:08,880 --> 01:52:09,360
Speaker 6: Oh? Wow?

2216
01:52:11,320 --> 01:52:19,640
Speaker 1: Yeah? You know? All right, So y'all know I have

2217
01:52:19,760 --> 01:52:23,679
Speaker 1: this book Student Love, and I'm gonna make y'all the

2218
01:52:23,760 --> 01:52:27,559
Speaker 1: first Yes, the book comes out in thirteen.

2219
01:52:29,240 --> 01:52:35,679
Speaker 2: Wow, God, come on, so open up.

2220
01:52:36,200 --> 01:52:40,200
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness.

2221
01:52:40,520 --> 01:52:41,799
Speaker 2: So I called.

2222
01:52:41,920 --> 01:52:42,799
Speaker 1: I called Kenny.

2223
01:52:42,840 --> 01:52:45,479
Speaker 2: I text him and said, what's what's O shirt you wear? Yeah?

2224
01:52:47,160 --> 01:52:49,400
Speaker 2: I'm thinking you was about to bring a shirt out

2225
01:52:49,439 --> 01:52:50,360
Speaker 2: of thirteen.

2226
01:52:51,320 --> 01:53:01,640
Speaker 1: That comes out to thirteen. You can't have this. I'm believing.

2227
01:53:03,040 --> 01:53:04,160
Speaker 2: He did have a clothing.

2228
01:53:04,960 --> 01:53:08,080
Speaker 1: Can appreciate Thats why I can appreciate apparel. That's why

2229
01:53:08,080 --> 01:53:12,200
Speaker 1: he loved doing. But yeah, I had, y'all.

2230
01:53:13,040 --> 01:53:16,720
Speaker 3: Yeah that some of your flowers can't order.

2231
01:53:17,680 --> 01:53:19,439
Speaker 1: First first, I was just doing it go to the

2232
01:53:19,439 --> 01:53:21,680
Speaker 1: wire shot. At first, I was doing it where it

2233
01:53:21,760 --> 01:53:24,479
Speaker 1: was just gonna be with influences that I had. And

2234
01:53:24,520 --> 01:53:26,599
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people going want that. Look

2235
01:53:26,600 --> 01:53:34,640
Speaker 1: at that that is clean. Look at what makes it

2236
01:53:34,640 --> 01:53:37,320
Speaker 1: the right cover? You know a member of organ.

2237
01:53:42,600 --> 01:53:55,880
Speaker 12: Yes, yeah, look at the back of the your frop.

2238
01:53:58,640 --> 01:54:06,160
Speaker 1: Women cut cross church, Yeah, put that on.

2239
01:54:06,680 --> 01:54:12,759
Speaker 3: Oh yes clean, because we're.

2240
01:54:12,600 --> 01:54:16,960
Speaker 1: All students will love you. You got to get your

2241
01:54:17,040 --> 01:54:17,719
Speaker 1: letterman jacket.

2242
01:54:20,800 --> 01:54:27,000
Speaker 3: Camera. Looking at ourselves. We're looking at ourselves on the camera.

2243
01:54:33,800 --> 01:54:36,480
Speaker 1: But listen, man, Like this book was very special to

2244
01:54:36,520 --> 01:54:38,800
Speaker 1: me because you know, like Eve when you was talking

2245
01:54:38,800 --> 01:54:42,520
Speaker 1: about rejection or whatnot, that we're reframing rejection in the

2246
01:54:42,560 --> 01:54:44,960
Speaker 1: book that rejection is redirection. And at the end of

2247
01:54:45,000 --> 01:54:47,560
Speaker 1: the day, if we don't internalize love that doesn't work

2248
01:54:47,600 --> 01:54:50,560
Speaker 1: out or expectation that God knows what's best for us.

2249
01:54:50,680 --> 01:54:53,800
Speaker 1: And if we just keep leaning into love and become

2250
01:54:53,840 --> 01:54:57,080
Speaker 1: a student of love, then God will direct us to

2251
01:54:57,120 --> 01:54:59,040
Speaker 1: the person that we're supposed to be with. And so

2252
01:54:59,280 --> 01:55:02,360
Speaker 1: Student of Love is teaching us that love isn't about

2253
01:55:02,440 --> 01:55:05,480
Speaker 1: finding the right person but by but about becoming the

2254
01:55:05,560 --> 01:55:07,560
Speaker 1: right person. Because at the end of the day, that's

2255
01:55:07,600 --> 01:55:09,840
Speaker 1: what you really want. You want to love that is sustainable.

2256
01:55:09,840 --> 01:55:11,520
Speaker 1: You don't want to just get married and it lasts

2257
01:55:11,560 --> 01:55:13,720
Speaker 1: over a year or two years. You want to love

2258
01:55:13,800 --> 01:55:16,400
Speaker 1: that keeps you in the place of ever evolving and

2259
01:55:16,480 --> 01:55:18,520
Speaker 1: leading into it. So that's what it is.

2260
01:55:18,800 --> 01:55:22,320
Speaker 2: I love it because that texted, that text it good.

2261
01:55:22,480 --> 01:55:26,600
Speaker 3: It's good. Y'all gonna get this right now, go ahead, listen.

2262
01:55:26,800 --> 01:55:30,520
Speaker 3: This is going bestseller New York Times best seller.

2263
01:55:30,640 --> 01:55:32,280
Speaker 5: Is where we're going. I want you to go right now,

2264
01:55:32,360 --> 01:55:35,520
Speaker 5: blow Amazon up, blow wherever you get your books and

2265
01:55:35,520 --> 01:55:38,480
Speaker 5: getting literal from. I believe that this is going to

2266
01:55:38,560 --> 01:55:40,520
Speaker 5: really be a blessing to your lives. And I cannot

2267
01:55:40,560 --> 01:55:41,160
Speaker 5: wait to read it.

2268
01:55:41,200 --> 01:55:42,920
Speaker 3: I can't. Matter of fact, we need to make all

2269
01:55:42,960 --> 01:55:43,200
Speaker 3: of the.

2270
01:55:43,200 --> 01:55:46,720
Speaker 5: Singles setting the married couples read this at the church.

2271
01:55:46,760 --> 01:55:48,920
Speaker 5: I think this would be a good read for our church,

2272
01:55:48,960 --> 01:55:51,600
Speaker 5: family purpose place. This is what we're gonna do.

2273
01:55:51,720 --> 01:55:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, who name you see that? On the other forward.

2274
01:55:55,920 --> 01:55:59,640
Speaker 5: Doctor Gary Chapman. Wow, New York Times best selling author

2275
01:55:59,680 --> 01:56:01,040
Speaker 5: The Fire. I love languages.

2276
01:56:01,320 --> 01:56:03,880
Speaker 2: Wow. So let me tell you something y'ah already know.

2277
01:56:06,200 --> 01:56:08,520
Speaker 1: So let me tell you something. I literally was sitting

2278
01:56:08,560 --> 01:56:11,280
Speaker 1: there and I said I had a vision that doctor

2279
01:56:11,280 --> 01:56:13,800
Speaker 1: Gary Chapman would do the forward. And I was like, God,

2280
01:56:13,840 --> 01:56:16,120
Speaker 1: how's that going to happen? This man eighty six years old?

2281
01:56:16,480 --> 01:56:18,440
Speaker 1: How am I going to have to meet him? And

2282
01:56:18,480 --> 01:56:21,040
Speaker 1: then I told my publishers to reach out and reach

2283
01:56:21,080 --> 01:56:22,760
Speaker 1: out to him to come into podcast. He came in

2284
01:56:22,800 --> 01:56:27,960
Speaker 1: the podcast. I asked his I guess that's his publishers. Whatever.

2285
01:56:28,000 --> 01:56:30,080
Speaker 1: I said, you think I can get doctor Gary Chapman

2286
01:56:30,160 --> 01:56:31,720
Speaker 1: to do the ford. He's like, nah, he don't really

2287
01:56:31,760 --> 01:56:34,480
Speaker 1: do stuff like that. And then I said all right,

2288
01:56:34,520 --> 01:56:36,760
Speaker 1: I'll just ask him personally. And so when he came

2289
01:56:36,840 --> 01:56:39,160
Speaker 1: on the podcast, I said, listen, I would love for

2290
01:56:39,160 --> 01:56:40,720
Speaker 1: you to do the forward. Matter of fact, while he

2291
01:56:40,840 --> 01:56:44,600
Speaker 1: was there, I got a call from my literary agent

2292
01:56:45,040 --> 01:56:50,040
Speaker 1: that W Publishing want to offer me, you know, a

2293
01:56:50,080 --> 01:56:53,240
Speaker 1: publishing deal with him, and I was like okay, and

2294
01:56:53,280 --> 01:56:54,800
Speaker 1: he was like, oh my god, that is great. While

2295
01:56:54,800 --> 01:56:56,480
Speaker 1: he was sitting there, I said, Hey, well, since God

2296
01:56:56,480 --> 01:56:58,760
Speaker 1: has blessing me, this is my other big ass Wow,

2297
01:56:58,920 --> 01:57:00,920
Speaker 1: I would love for you to do the forward. He said,

2298
01:57:01,760 --> 01:57:04,440
Speaker 1: I don't just put my name on anything. I'm gonna

2299
01:57:04,480 --> 01:57:06,720
Speaker 1: read the book. If I like it. I'll do the forward.

2300
01:57:06,920 --> 01:57:10,120
Speaker 1: He read that book. He read the book, he was like, oh, yeah,

2301
01:57:10,240 --> 01:57:13,120
Speaker 1: I'll be honored to do this. This is amazing. He said,

2302
01:57:13,120 --> 01:57:14,960
Speaker 1: what I love about is that you don't approach it

2303
01:57:15,000 --> 01:57:17,839
Speaker 1: from being this know it all, that you actually approach

2304
01:57:17,880 --> 01:57:21,720
Speaker 1: it from being a student, and you talk in Layman's

2305
01:57:21,720 --> 01:57:24,280
Speaker 1: turn where people can understand it. It's witty, it's funny,

2306
01:57:24,440 --> 01:57:27,280
Speaker 1: and it gives some powerful truths. And he was like,

2307
01:57:27,320 --> 01:57:29,440
Speaker 1: I can't believe that you're not a therapist, because even

2308
01:57:29,480 --> 01:57:31,320
Speaker 1: in the book you sound like you're a therapist. But

2309
01:57:31,360 --> 01:57:33,920
Speaker 1: it comes from a very creative way. And he was like, man,

2310
01:57:34,120 --> 01:57:36,360
Speaker 1: I love it. And he wrote an amazing forward to it.

2311
01:57:36,400 --> 01:57:38,280
Speaker 1: And I was like, God, that's a huge guy, wink.

2312
01:57:38,720 --> 01:57:41,400
Speaker 1: And so this has been amazing thing that God. I

2313
01:57:41,400 --> 01:57:44,040
Speaker 1: can go on and on about how God was systematically

2314
01:57:44,120 --> 01:57:48,600
Speaker 1: opening up doors for this book. But again I led

2315
01:57:48,800 --> 01:57:52,280
Speaker 1: in the acknowledgment of talking about this would be my wife,

2316
01:57:52,360 --> 01:57:53,880
Speaker 1: you know, and I was like, I.

2317
01:57:53,840 --> 01:57:56,680
Speaker 5: See it right here. You're word of prophecy and to missus,

2318
01:57:56,680 --> 01:58:00,760
Speaker 5: Ashley R. Whitfield, you are the grace after the grind,

2319
01:58:01,000 --> 01:58:03,560
Speaker 5: the reward for every tear shed in the classroom of

2320
01:58:03,680 --> 01:58:07,400
Speaker 5: my becoming you inherit the healed version of me, the

2321
01:58:07,440 --> 01:58:10,120
Speaker 5: man who falled forward into faithfulness.

2322
01:58:10,600 --> 01:58:14,000
Speaker 2: Woo, maybe that's.

2323
01:58:13,960 --> 01:58:19,200
Speaker 6: Just the So if you were thinking about bonding this,

2324
01:58:19,320 --> 01:58:23,640
Speaker 6: but even if you weren't, this is your confirmation. This confirmation,

2325
01:58:24,440 --> 01:58:26,800
Speaker 6: the fact that you are hearing this right now is

2326
01:58:26,840 --> 01:58:30,160
Speaker 6: your confirmation that God wants to get this into your life.

2327
01:58:30,320 --> 01:58:32,120
Speaker 3: Yeah good, Yeah, Amen.

2328
01:58:32,040 --> 01:58:36,080
Speaker 1: Well listen. May the love you share today outlived the

2329
01:58:36,120 --> 01:58:36,760
Speaker 1: season you're.

2330
01:58:36,680 --> 01:58:40,680
Speaker 4: In, may carry you through the days when words are few.

2331
01:58:40,720 --> 01:58:42,440
Speaker 3: And faith has to do the talking.

2332
01:58:43,120 --> 01:58:45,160
Speaker 1: So thank y'all so much for this episode of Dear

2333
01:58:45,200 --> 01:58:47,960
Speaker 1: Future Wifey podcast. Y'all give it up for my homies,

2334
01:58:48,000 --> 01:58:56,680
Speaker 1: the Lennards. Laderim thrust it suddenly into child protective services

2335
01:58:56,720 --> 01:59:02,120
Speaker 1: in twenty fifteen, My nephew black a boy. The likelihood

2336
01:59:02,120 --> 01:59:06,480
Speaker 1: have been adopted outside of kinship, slim to none Rmione,

2337
01:59:07,200 --> 01:59:11,280
Speaker 1: sixteen years old, black a boy with five years in

2338
01:59:11,320 --> 01:59:13,680
Speaker 1: the Falter care system before I even knew his name.

2339
01:59:14,480 --> 01:59:18,200
Speaker 1: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

2340
01:59:18,840 --> 01:59:23,440
Speaker 1: Slim to none. While Laderian and Ourmiani were trying to

2341
01:59:23,440 --> 01:59:27,000
Speaker 1: survive and barely thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded, false

2342
01:59:27,160 --> 01:59:30,200
Speaker 1: care system. I was living my own life, doing well professionally,

2343
01:59:30,800 --> 01:59:33,000
Speaker 1: having been a single father with a daughter who at

2344
01:59:33,040 --> 01:59:35,520
Speaker 1: that point was doing well in college. It was my

2345
01:59:35,600 --> 01:59:36,840
Speaker 1: time to live my life right.

2346
01:59:37,880 --> 01:59:38,160
Speaker 5: Wrong.

2347
01:59:39,280 --> 01:59:45,080
Speaker 1: I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just two many

2348
01:59:45,240 --> 01:59:48,720
Speaker 1: of our black children stuck in ambiguity and in the

2349
01:59:48,760 --> 01:59:52,200
Speaker 1: limbo of the falseter care system. In twenty seventeen, I

2350
01:59:52,280 --> 01:59:56,160
Speaker 1: legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

2351
01:59:56,200 --> 01:59:58,400
Speaker 1: I had no ties to this other young king, but

2352
01:59:58,440 --> 02:00:01,000
Speaker 1: I felt God instructed me to adopt them also on

2353
02:00:01,080 --> 02:00:05,160
Speaker 1: al Babe. Starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right,

2354
02:00:05,200 --> 02:00:07,960
Speaker 1: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

2355
02:00:08,000 --> 02:00:11,120
Speaker 1: bring awareness to the countless young Black kings and the

2356
02:00:11,120 --> 02:00:15,520
Speaker 1: foster care system should have decreased my agitation. Right join

2357
02:00:15,640 --> 02:00:18,600
Speaker 1: the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization

2358
02:00:18,680 --> 02:00:21,880
Speaker 1: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in Falter

2359
02:00:22,000 --> 02:00:26,240
Speaker 1: care should have led to some type of resolve. Right. No,

2360
02:00:26,280 --> 02:00:26,880
Speaker 1: not at all.

2361
02:00:27,560 --> 02:00:29,840
Speaker 2: None of it felt like I had done enough.

2362
02:00:30,880 --> 02:00:35,000
Speaker 1: I now realized that every one of those experiences was

2363
02:00:35,080 --> 02:00:39,520
Speaker 1: land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission. Kingdom Royal.

2364
02:00:40,440 --> 02:00:43,120
Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

2365
02:00:43,160 --> 02:00:46,360
Speaker 1: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

2366
02:00:46,400 --> 02:00:49,400
Speaker 1: the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

2367
02:00:49,480 --> 02:00:54,120
Speaker 1: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

2368
02:00:54,320 --> 02:00:58,480
Speaker 1: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless options that

2369
02:00:58,520 --> 02:01:02,800
Speaker 1: they thought were in possible. Though the young Kings will

2370
02:01:02,800 --> 02:01:05,600
Speaker 1: attend the local public schools that are in proximity to

2371
02:01:05,720 --> 02:01:09,120
Speaker 1: King of Royale, our at home curriculum will broaden their

2372
02:01:09,160 --> 02:01:13,200
Speaker 1: worldview through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events,

2373
02:01:13,400 --> 02:01:17,760
Speaker 1: learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about current events

2374
02:01:17,880 --> 02:01:22,720
Speaker 1: and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

2375
02:01:22,800 --> 02:01:26,120
Speaker 1: and even caring for our animals on our form and

2376
02:01:26,200 --> 02:01:30,560
Speaker 1: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

2377
02:01:30,800 --> 02:01:32,960
Speaker 1: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

2378
02:01:33,000 --> 02:01:34,480
Speaker 1: Now why two point eight million dollars?

2379
02:01:35,280 --> 02:01:35,480
Speaker 2: Well.

2380
02:01:35,480 --> 02:01:37,880
Speaker 1: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

2381
02:01:37,880 --> 02:01:41,839
Speaker 1: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

2382
02:01:42,040 --> 02:01:44,320
Speaker 1: One of the most notable successes was that one of

2383
02:01:44,360 --> 02:01:49,640
Speaker 1: the videos went viral garnering twenty eight million views. However,

2384
02:01:49,960 --> 02:01:52,160
Speaker 1: one of my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise

2385
02:01:52,200 --> 02:01:55,560
Speaker 1: a single dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable

2386
02:01:55,560 --> 02:02:00,680
Speaker 1: plan for the homeless community. So, throughout the years remorse,

2387
02:02:01,080 --> 02:02:03,960
Speaker 1: I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment. I knew

2388
02:02:04,160 --> 02:02:06,960
Speaker 1: if at that time just ten percent of the viewers

2389
02:02:07,000 --> 02:02:10,360
Speaker 1: donated one dollar, we would have raised at least two

2390
02:02:10,400 --> 02:02:13,760
Speaker 1: point eight million dollars that could have really established long

2391
02:02:13,880 --> 02:02:17,040
Speaker 1: term support for the homeless community, or at least started

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Speaker 1: a long term initiative to do so. This is my

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Speaker 1: do over, this is our new beginning. Together, we can

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Speaker 1: attack this at the route by specifically helping our homeless

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Speaker 1: Black boys who are already disproportionately represented in the American

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Speaker 1: fossil care system. I'm a terisar Wickfield. I've been nominated

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Speaker 1: for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless

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Speaker 1: as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

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Speaker 1: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

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Speaker 1: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more

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Speaker 1: details Crown of King and make a donation today. I

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Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future WIFEI podcast.

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Speaker 1: Remember be lit live intentionally and transparently, and don't stop loving.

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Speaker 2: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future Wife and

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Speaker 2: YouTube channel.

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Speaker 1: We're available on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

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Speaker 1: You welcome your support.

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Speaker 2: Simply share our podcasts with your friends and family.