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Speaker 1: Now it's time to get your business.

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Speaker 2: Ricky.

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Speaker 1: Why aren't you married?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm just talking. I was married for twelve years.

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Speaker 3: My goal is not finding someone to live with, it

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Speaker 3: finding someone I can live without. A woman that's soft.

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Speaker 3: I don't like that Auntie energy. Because I cussed you

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Speaker 3: back out. I was about to ask you that, Ricky.

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Speaker 3: You didn't cuss it all? Why you start cussing down?

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Speaker 3: Because peop been got on my nerves and as we

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Speaker 3: all got over the weekend in that space where hey,

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Speaker 3: you ain't gonna talk to me like that and your

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Speaker 3: mama it's Ricky smiler.

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Speaker 1: What is the value of marriage to you?

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Speaker 3: Everything I grew up, I watched my grandmother and my

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Speaker 3: grandfather co exist. That's what I would like to have.

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Speaker 3: I'm seven, eight years old. I'm making drinks.

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Speaker 2: I never had a drink. I never smoked a day

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Speaker 2: of my life. Why not?

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Speaker 1: Why not drink?

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Speaker 2: Come? My grandparents told me not to.

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Speaker 3: I lost my father like that to drugs, and then

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Speaker 3: my mother struggled with drugs all through high school.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want that life.

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Speaker 3: Watching what my grandparents went through every eleventh, nineteen seven

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Speaker 3: is more devastating to this day than watching what I

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Speaker 3: went through myself. I always wondered all those years, how

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Speaker 3: did that make them feel? And then I became.

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Speaker 4: Him the loss of your son? How have you been

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Speaker 4: navigating that space?

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Speaker 2: My son died on a Sunday. That Wednesday, I woke up.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm gonna get up and get back

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Speaker 3: on the radio because somebody in Miami and Chicago is

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Speaker 3: going through the same thing in Mersey. It's easy to

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Speaker 3: serve when you feel better, but can you serve when

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Speaker 3: you end ups the darkest point.

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Speaker 2: Of your life?

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Speaker 3: Hey, You're gonna be good, Okay. People like her is

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Speaker 3: why I get up every morning. Yeah, she's been crying

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Speaker 3: a horse to that. I wasn't trying to turn this

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Speaker 3: into that the terrorist people.

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Speaker 4: No, No, let it be what it's supposed to be.

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Speaker 4: I want everybody stretch your hand in her direction right now.

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Speaker 4: Heavenly Father, we come to you right now in the

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Speaker 4: name of Jesus. The Dear Future WiFi podcast has global impact.

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Speaker 1: From Texas.

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Speaker 3: I have been on this journey of healing and self discovery,

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Speaker 3: and this podcast has been a vital part of my process.

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Speaker 1: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 1: founding authentic spirituality, California.

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Speaker 4: I learned so much as a single man through your podcast,

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Speaker 4: and continue to learn so much as now a married

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Speaker 4: man Nigeria.

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Speaker 5: This is just therapy for me. You know, have been healed.

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Speaker 5: I've been strengthening in my convictions on the stoo to

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Speaker 5: do single hooptsa Amsterdam way that you've shown us how

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Speaker 5: it is possible for.

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Speaker 4: A man to be as intentional as you are New Jersey.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 4: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 4: life after divorce to New York.

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Speaker 6: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give

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Speaker 6: me hope and courage that God does have a husband

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Speaker 6: for me.

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Speaker 1: Discover, uncover and recover love.

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Speaker 4: I'm a Terisaar Whitfield and this is season ten of

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Speaker 4: the Dear Future Wifie Podcast. Just like this young man

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Speaker 4: on stage, please, whatever you do, go wild, go crazy,

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Speaker 4: makes some noise for the one that you only gets.

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Speaker 2: Ricky Smiley, Thank you man.

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Speaker 4: How y'all doing y'all good? All right, let's get started.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to a Dear Future Wifie Podcast. I'm your host

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Speaker 4: latera sar Wi hiel listen, are you still shacking up

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Speaker 4: with us. If you're still shacking up with us, can

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Speaker 4: we get a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe.

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Speaker 4: Make sure you're tearing your notification bell so you'll be

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Speaker 4: notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 1: We are at the time. Join a fantastic voyage cruise.

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Speaker 1: Make some noise in this place. Listen.

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Speaker 4: I have an exciting book that's coming out call Student

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Speaker 4: of Love. How may you know that love isn't about

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Speaker 4: finding the right person, It's about becoming the right person?

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Speaker 1: Amen?

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Speaker 4: Say that puts the onus on us, Ricky, and so

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Speaker 4: make sure you get that book at studentolove dot com.

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 4: This episode has been a long time coming. I've been

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Speaker 4: knowing Ricky for a while, and what I love about

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Speaker 4: him is his sheer authenticity. He's just as real as

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Speaker 4: as it gets a Southern boy. So that's why I

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Speaker 4: love it. And so we're gonna chop it up and

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Speaker 4: just have a conversation. My hope is that y'all see

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Speaker 4: Ricky in a light that you've never seen him before.

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Speaker 4: So we're gonna try to get very intimate and get

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Speaker 4: to know him on a deeper level all things love

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Speaker 4: and relationships.

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Speaker 1: So you open to that Ricky.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely all right, thank you so much for having me.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 4: Listen, So I met you. I'm gonna go back to

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Speaker 4: where I first met you. I met you years ago.

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Speaker 4: I used to manage your band called common Folk. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and common Folk. Their dream and hope was to go

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Speaker 4: on their first tour, and they used to come to

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Speaker 4: ninety seven point nine to beat and y'all would do

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Speaker 4: Women Wednesday where y'all would make up songs on the spot,

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Speaker 4: love songs on the spot, shout out to Tony and Terry.

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Speaker 4: And one day you called you and I were talking

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Speaker 4: and you said, we got to find a way to

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Speaker 4: get this band on tour with us.

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Speaker 1: And at the.

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Speaker 4: Time, your manager was like, he didn't want to make

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Speaker 4: that financial investment coming out of your pocket because you

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Speaker 4: would be the one that would be underwriting the cost

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Speaker 4: of that, and you was like, I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I want to make sure that we do this.

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Speaker 4: And so I just want to say thank you because

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Speaker 4: you changed those guys' life because they were not only

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Speaker 4: did they go on their first tour with you, but

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Speaker 4: they were also able to do their first bet special

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Speaker 4: with you.

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Speaker 1: When you had them as a live band. So give

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Speaker 1: it up. So thank you, Terry still work for me,

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Speaker 1: Terry still work for you? What's his position?

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Speaker 7: Now?

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Speaker 1: What did you do with it?

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Speaker 3: He does like I do a lot of music on

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Speaker 3: stage and kind of like he's my role manager.

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Speaker 1: So that's dope. But that's what I said.

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Speaker 4: So when I saw that years ago, I was like,

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Speaker 4: you know, a lot of times we don't take time

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Speaker 4: to give people their flowers. And so I just want

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Speaker 4: to tell you thank you because again you changed his life.

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Speaker 4: And it's good to even know if they're still working

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Speaker 4: with you. And that's probably about ten fifteen years later. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's been a minute. So uh now it's time to

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Speaker 4: get in your business.

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Speaker 1: Rick. And why aren't you married?

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Speaker 2: Oh I can.

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Speaker 3: I can honestly say that I'm piggy particular about uh stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's a lot of things that I look for, you know,

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Speaker 3: I can, I can go. It's it's a long it's

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Speaker 3: a lot.

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Speaker 2: Let's talk.

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Speaker 3: It's a lot. My goal because I was married for

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Speaker 3: twelve years. Nobody knew that, No me, neither I had

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Speaker 3: a wife. My wife she's still still a flight attendant.

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Speaker 3: My age wife is still a flight attendant for death.

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Speaker 3: And we still good friends. We like a big family.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 3: And my goal with the marriage is finding not finding

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Speaker 3: someone to live with, finding someone I can't live without.

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Speaker 2: That's that's my goal.

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Speaker 3: And it's just, uh, you know, everybody was raised in

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Speaker 3: a different household, everybody different. Somebody that's kind of culturally

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Speaker 3: have some of the same home training that I have,

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Speaker 3: you know. Uh, and that don't make me OCD or

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Speaker 3: a neat freak, but uh, somebody with some good grandmama

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Speaker 3: home training is nice, beautiful, in shape, nurturing, kind love, kids,

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Speaker 3: have kids. I don't care if you have kids or not,

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Speaker 3: but it just got to be just good, good chemistry.

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Speaker 3: And I've been on a lot of dates, in and

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Speaker 3: out of a lot of relationships and experience a lot

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Speaker 3: of things, and I just know what I'm looking for.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just not in a position to be going

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Speaker 3: through a divorce and then have to give up everything

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Speaker 3: that I worked hard for because I ended up in

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Speaker 3: a bad situation. And I have a spirit of discernment.

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Speaker 3: I can see through something the minute it come around me.

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Speaker 3: And uh so I already know what time it is

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Speaker 3: on a point upon meetings, so I can't I can't

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Speaker 3: be food. So it just depends on how I meet

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Speaker 3: them where I meet them, and this, that and the other.

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Speaker 4: So do you feel like the best connection is? Do

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Speaker 4: you do like referrals people introduce you to women.

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Speaker 2: I don't like.

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Speaker 3: I don't like for women to introduce me to like

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Speaker 3: they always looking just at the heart. She sitting up

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Speaker 3: here looking at somebody heart or whatever. That's good if

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Speaker 3: she knows the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. But she

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Speaker 3: if she ain't got no legs and we can't go swimming.

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Speaker 3: I'm just joking. I ain't trying to be me. I'm

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Speaker 3: just on I need to be Okay. You ain't gonna

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Speaker 3: be with nobody that you're not attracted to. I need

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Speaker 3: to be I rolled over in the morning or whatever.

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Speaker 3: I need to be attracted to that.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: That's that's what you've got to you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: She might know the Bible, she might be a judge,

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Speaker 3: she might be a lawyer, but I might not be

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Speaker 3: attracted to hers.

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Speaker 2: That's for anybody.

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Speaker 3: Nobody should not have to be with somebody just because

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Speaker 3: they got money, but you're not attracted to them, that

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Speaker 3: means you're not with them for the right reason. I

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Speaker 3: want to wake up and look at you be like,

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Speaker 3: damn you fine, like what we're doing today?

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Speaker 2: What's up? You know, you know stuff like that. That's

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Speaker 2: that's what you want.

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Speaker 3: Somebody that that you just can't live without, Somebody that

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Speaker 3: you have respect for. A woman that's soft, that a

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Speaker 3: woman that's really really soft.

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Speaker 4: I want you break that down because a lot of

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Speaker 4: women don't understand the value that we have on femininity.

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Speaker 4: So I want you to touch on that. Yeah, a woman

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Speaker 4: is a feminine. Woman is powerful.

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Speaker 3: A woman that's soft and feminine is gonna make you

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Speaker 3: pull your pants up and act proper and sit up

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Speaker 3: straight and have no words. I don't like that, auntie energy.

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Speaker 3: I get women walk up to me. They don't know

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Speaker 3: how to express themselves. They talk with their finger in

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Speaker 3: your face, and I remember I met you.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: That's not attractive to me because if I want and

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Speaker 3: then they talk to you, shake the hand.

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Speaker 2: They jerk your hand when they pull on.

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Speaker 3: You, and I saw you and I look you about

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Speaker 3: to snatch your arm off, and they sweat it. Real aggressive. Man,

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Speaker 3: When that woman is soft and she's just sitting in

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Speaker 3: the corner and she ain't really trying, and you entered

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Speaker 3: mer and she shake your hand with a certain level

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Speaker 3: of professional That turned me on. I love a nice,

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Speaker 3: soft spoken, kind gentle woman.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm personally attract to say.

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Speaker 3: I'm not judging anybody, and I'm trying my best to

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Speaker 3: be the perfect gentleman. Now with a soft woman, I'm

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Speaker 3: real soft. I met a lot of people in that

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Speaker 3: sat down and had a conversation, and the women that

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Speaker 3: was aggressive, I met them with a little bit of aggression.

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Speaker 2: I had the man up.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Well, we didn't take us

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Speaker 3: a bit, and I say, you don't tell me what

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Speaker 3: to do. Excuse me. But when they saw hey missus Smith,

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Speaker 3: oh hey Ricky nicely. But when they saw I just

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Speaker 3: matched the energy, the energy right here, I match it.

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Speaker 3: When the energy is right here. You know, a soft,

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Speaker 3: a soft, beautiful, good smelling woman. I tell you what,

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Speaker 3: if a bishop was on this stage right now, you

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Speaker 3: should be able to stand up here and look in

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Speaker 3: the audience and know who his wife is just by

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Speaker 3: looking at them. Somebody they said, yeah, yeah, because she's

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Speaker 3: a lady, she's sophisticated. She's sitting over there with a

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Speaker 3: lads car. That don't mean that you bougie and all

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Speaker 3: that kind of stuff. I'm not I don't judge anybody,

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Speaker 3: but it just have to that. Things just have to

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Speaker 3: hear a certain way to the point where you ain't

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Speaker 3: thinking about sex. It's just like it. She got your

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Speaker 3: mind messed up with you wake up thinking about her

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Speaker 3: and going to bed thinking about her, and want to

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Speaker 3: send her an edible arrangement to her job, and want

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Speaker 3: to send her some rowers, and how can I get

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Speaker 3: to her? Or what you're doing later on? Okay, what

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Speaker 3: do you like? What's your favorite color? When I started

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Speaker 3: asking just like that, I'm interested. Have you ever been

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Speaker 3: since your divorce? How many years ago was your divorce?

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Speaker 3: It was years ago?

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Speaker 2: Maybe it was before two thousand.

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Speaker 1: Since since then? Have you ever gotten close to marriage?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I let one to get away.

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Speaker 1: So you admit that you let one get away?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, young and stupid. I ad met this. Uh, let

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Speaker 3: me just put it like this. She went to Tennessee State,

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Speaker 3: and I was I was dry, I'm I met her

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Speaker 3: as Zaney's Comedy Club, and I was like Gary, Gary

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Speaker 3: was Gary was riding around Dallas looking for an engagement ring,

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Speaker 3: and my dumb ass was on the road scheduling conflict

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Speaker 3: women lining lined up, paying money.

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Speaker 2: To see the whole rock star type of stuff.

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Speaker 3: Not that I was cheating or anything, just just couldn't

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Speaker 3: give her the attention that flowers need sunlight and water

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Speaker 3: and I was not able to provide sunlight and water,

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Speaker 3: and she got away.

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Speaker 2: One of my best friends to this day we share

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Speaker 2: her fought.

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Speaker 3: She shared her father with me, who just recently passed away.

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Speaker 3: But we still like this to this day. She's married

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Speaker 3: and have a beautiful family, and I love. What she

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Speaker 3: did was she set the standard. So if it ain't

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Speaker 3: like what she if it ain't like her or what

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Speaker 3: she brings, is like, that's my standard.

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Speaker 1: Who So she created the standard?

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Speaker 4: And how long did it take you to realize that

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Speaker 4: she had gotten away?

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Speaker 1: Like after so she.

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Speaker 4: Ended it, and then did you be like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 4: I'll just find another one. And then as you begin

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Speaker 4: to journey through this thing called up, you said that's

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Speaker 4: the one I could never replace. Or at the minute

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Speaker 4: that she ended it, where you like, please take me back,

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Speaker 4: and she just said, no, no.

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Speaker 2: I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I didn't do all that because I have I have

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Speaker 3: sense or nothing know Once when when a woman, when

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Speaker 3: a woman's fed up.

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Speaker 1: Ain't nothing you can do about it.

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Speaker 3: It ain't nothing you can do about not like running

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Speaker 3: out of love, not a flower, not a prayer. I

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Speaker 3: can't tell you how many times i'n't been to the

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Speaker 3: altar trying to trying to get God to talk to her,

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Speaker 3: like Jesus pleased talk to her.

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Speaker 2: You just learn from it.

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Speaker 3: You learn from it, and you try to be better,

303
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,800
Speaker 3: you know, and and then people are like, Okay, you

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Speaker 3: got you.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm younger.

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Speaker 3: They don't necessarily like I'm younger, because I have found

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Speaker 3: in dating that a lot of I have met older

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00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,880
Speaker 3: women that I met younger, and it's like, you just

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Speaker 3: don't know what It just depends on the person.

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Speaker 1: I met.

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Speaker 3: A woman recently went out with somebody in the the

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Speaker 3: forties and they did not have no idea who represented

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Speaker 3: them in Congress, and they didn't know who the Governor

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Speaker 3: of Texas was, and they knew every single last woman

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Speaker 3: on the Housewives of Atlanta. So when she get through

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Speaker 3: being beautiful and cute and you get through smashing and

317
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Speaker 3: all that kind of stuff, what are you gonna conversate about?

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Speaker 3: Where can she add intellectually to your mind? Can she

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Speaker 3: help you with anything? Can she tell you about health

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Speaker 3: and fitness, and hey baby, when the last time you

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Speaker 3: went to the doctor.

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Speaker 2: Hey baby, it'd be simple stuff. I don't care.

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Speaker 3: I don't care if a woman worked at Burger King, right,

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Speaker 3: but if she can make a house a home, right

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Speaker 3: if she could say, Hey baby, I know you don't

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Speaker 3: like to be out, but I got to set up.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna go to the movies, a movie that I

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Speaker 3: want you to see that I thank you love. I

329
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Speaker 3: already talked to the manager. We're gonna go in the

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Speaker 3: side that we're gonna watch a movie. We're gonna get

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Speaker 3: some snacks, and we're gonna go home and like little stuff.

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Speaker 3: It'd be little stuff like that for me. You know

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Speaker 3: what I'm saying. You just drive, like making my life easier,

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00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:07,080
Speaker 3: putting yourself in a position that I can't live without.

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Speaker 2: You, like period.

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Speaker 3: And that's that's what I'm not am I being offensive, No,

337
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,240
Speaker 3: you keep I'm just making sure.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to. You know, you got to watch

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Speaker 2: the Shame.

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Speaker 3: But but stuff like that, man, Terry, that stuff really matter.

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Speaker 4: So you really believe that because I saw the video

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00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,000
Speaker 4: you were talking to was that your nephew or somebody

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Speaker 4: in the car you were talking about that's what you want.

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Speaker 4: So you're saying for real that you're saying you don't

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Speaker 4: care what her occupation is. That she can legit works

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Speaker 4: as a greeter at Walmart, And you said that it

347
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Speaker 4: doesn't even matter, Terry, she don't have to work.

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Speaker 2: I'm good. I don't. I don't, I don't, I.

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Speaker 3: Don't require But if she want to start a Rica

350
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 3: Smiley Foundation and work on helping me donate and give

351
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,360
Speaker 3: to certain charities and run that, that's what That's what

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00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,560
Speaker 3: Marjorie does for Steve. Oh yeah, you know, she runs

353
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 3: the Steve Harvey Foundation and whatever. You know, if you

354
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,600
Speaker 3: want to lock in with me and let's see what

355
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,280
Speaker 3: we can do together and figure out how can we

356
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,879
Speaker 3: help people or whatever, you know, And I'm gonna make

357
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Speaker 3: sure you dressed and you straightened the bill's band. When

358
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Speaker 3: I was married for twelve years, I was broke. I

359
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,680
Speaker 3: never asked my wife to pill, but my wife never

360
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Speaker 3: paid a bill never. You know what I'm saying, Hey,

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Speaker 3: she said I want to be a flight attendant. I said, okay,

362
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Speaker 3: let's ride to Atlanta. I ain't have no money. Draw Atlanta,

363
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,199
Speaker 3: build a gig for wonder Smith. Walk through the airport

364
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Speaker 3: until somebody recognized in the years, I know you from

365
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Speaker 3: the commedy because hey, do you know, yeah, that's my

366
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,680
Speaker 3: best friend, the lady that hired the flight attend Okay,

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Speaker 3: I want you to meet my wife.

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Speaker 2: Oh she's beautiful. She looked like Stacy Dash.

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Speaker 3: Hey, this is suthing, such, introduce her and boom and

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Speaker 3: then she went on with her her career or whatever.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: So we were, you know, working as a team, doing

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Speaker 3: whatever I had to do to support her or whatever.

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Speaker 3: But we just came from different background. She was a

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00:17:56,320 --> 00:18:01,200
Speaker 3: good person, but she was from the North. I from

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00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 3: the South, and it's just the being the coexisting together

377
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:06,800
Speaker 3: was just totally different.

378
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,280
Speaker 4: You feel like that's a big difference by geographical and

379
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,840
Speaker 4: so when you look at somebody. Ben So when you

380
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 4: say south, because I heard some people chuckle when you

381
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,160
Speaker 4: say from the North and the South, they can automatically

382
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:17,840
Speaker 4: see the tension.

383
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Speaker 3: It wasn't it wasn't a tension, but we were just

384
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,919
Speaker 3: raised different with it like that. But in or she

385
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,120
Speaker 3: was from the South. We were trying. We just had

386
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:30,120
Speaker 3: certain stuff in coexistence. But can that work though?

387
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Speaker 4: You know, back in the day, Paul Abdul had the

388
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,199
Speaker 4: song called Opposites a track. So I'm saying, do you

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00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 4: believe fundamentally that if two people are investing in getting

390
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:40,399
Speaker 4: to know each other, it.

391
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,960
Speaker 3: Can work if she if both individuals have the right

392
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 3: attitude and they're working to get better for each other,

393
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 3: if she find out. Okay, let me know what irritates

394
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,960
Speaker 3: you about me and what can I do better? So

395
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 3: let me change And here's some here's some things that

396
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 3: I would like for you to work on, because it's

397
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,199
Speaker 3: not just about me, you know what I'm saying, It's

398
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 3: about her because she's the one creating the peace and

399
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:04,880
Speaker 3: the love and the home.

400
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:05,720
Speaker 2: I'm not here.

401
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,080
Speaker 3: You know, I'm the breadwinner, so you just want to

402
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:12,439
Speaker 3: come home, you know, happy wife, happy life. So but

403
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 3: having tension in the house and doors slamming, and attitude

404
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 3: and all that kind of stuff, it's just not you know,

405
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 3: having toxic marriages and toxic relationship that affect your work.

406
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 2: You can't go on stage and you just read a.

407
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,679
Speaker 3: Text message cussing you out and you got to go

408
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 3: on stage and tell jokes because all of that stuff

409
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 3: is in your head and affect your performance. So help

410
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 3: me help you, Hey, love, I love you do a

411
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:44,159
Speaker 3: good job. You're fantastic, king, You're wonderful, you're awesome. Go

412
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 3: on stage, kick their ass, and I got something for

413
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:47,960
Speaker 3: you when you get home.

414
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,520
Speaker 4: So, Ricky, you desire me, that's what you want, all right? Yeah,

415
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 4: I just want to be sexy for your husband. Yeah,

416
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 4: so you do. In fact, it's our marriage absolutely. And

417
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 4: so if you were to meet somebody and they checked

418
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,280
Speaker 4: all the boxes, how long will it take for you

419
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:19,679
Speaker 4: to pull the trigger and put a ring.

420
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Speaker 1: On their fingers?

421
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 2: It just depends on what she won't No.

422
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 4: She wants you. She says, I want to be married.

423
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 4: This is what it is. And as the leader, you

424
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 4: can't move me too fast. You can't move me too

425
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,320
Speaker 4: so give it.

426
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,359
Speaker 3: Some time to get the knowerse because it's Gary with

427
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 3: the T say, it's an they send they representative.

428
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:38,680
Speaker 2: They send that representative.

429
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 3: Hey, in ninety days, a real person gonna come out

430
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 3: and you start seeing little stuff you'd be like, started

431
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 3: off nice and sweet, hey baby, and then they started

432
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,119
Speaker 3: talking to you with their hands. If you little stuff,

433
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 3: it comes out, yeah, and what you need to stuff

434
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 3: and it comes on out once they get come once

435
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 3: and it man two men too. Once men get comfortable

436
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 3: you start seeing the real them.

437
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 2: It started coming out.

438
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 3: Because you can't hide who you are. What's in you're

439
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 3: gonna come out. And so after about ninety days you

440
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 3: start you start to see it, and then you'd be like, okay,

441
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,359
Speaker 3: let's just take our time, or it could it could

442
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 3: be not so bad. So okay, here's some things that

443
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 3: we need to work on, and as we move forward

444
00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:29,880
Speaker 3: and it could possibly work.

445
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,359
Speaker 4: What is the value of marriage to you? Everything I

446
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,000
Speaker 4: grew up man with my grandparents. I watched my grandmother

447
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 4: and my grandfather co exists. That's what I That's what

448
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 4: I would like to have. My grandmother was the best.

449
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,440
Speaker 3: My granddaddy came home, dinner was made, and they would

450
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,120
Speaker 3: drink their little little Scotch or drink their little Bourbon

451
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 3: Crown and not crying. It was jim bean whiskey, that's

452
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 3: what they drink. And they would send me in there

453
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 3: and make them out. And they taught me how to

454
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 3: make them a drink so they would have to do it.

455
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 3: So I'm seven eight years old making drinks. They said,

456
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 3: you been not damn it drinking, You better not touching.

457
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 3: My granddaddy taught me how much liquor to put it

458
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 3: in there? How much seven enough to put in there?

459
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,320
Speaker 3: I make their drinks and take it to the front porch.

460
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,440
Speaker 3: Then my grandam send me back in there, said somehow

461
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 3: light this bencing and hedges, so I know how to

462
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 3: go to the store.

463
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 2: And I like, she said, God damn it, you better

464
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,320
Speaker 2: not smoking. You understand.

465
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 3: And up until my granddaddy be dad seven years but

466
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,760
Speaker 3: I made his drinks that I got, turned them on

467
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 3: the Crown peach.

468
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 2: I turned them on the Crown black.

469
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 3: Then I turned them on the Tennessee whiskey with the honey,

470
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 3: and he ensured all that fine liquor.

471
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 2: I knew how, and I ain't never had a drink,

472
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:40,720
Speaker 2: then don't drink?

473
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: You never had a drink?

474
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 4: Starting at seven eight years old, making drinks wow myself.

475
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 3: Some wine with a steak and a bougie restaurant in

476
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 3: the net lee try to get me put me on

477
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 3: wine or whatever to go with the steak in the middle.

478
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 2: But outside of that, a mixed drink. I want to drink.

479
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: I never had a drink. I never smoked the damn

480
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 2: I life.

481
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:57,920
Speaker 1: Why not? Why not drink?

482
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 2: Come? My grandparents told me not to.

483
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 3: And and in college, in college, I was always the

484
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 3: designator drive. So I have a little car full of

485
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 3: a Kaa's deltas. So when they want to go, when

486
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 3: they want to go somewhere and get drunk and drink

487
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 3: or whatever, I'm always stuning. I was the first uber

488
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 3: at Alabama State. I was the first uber. I'll take them,

489
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 3: drop them off, go have a good time whatever you

490
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 3: So now I just I just never decided to do it.

491
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,639
Speaker 3: My comedy has been I want everything, and I lost

492
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 3: my father. I lost my father like that to drugs

493
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 3: and like that, and then my mother struggled with drugs

494
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 3: all through high school.

495
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: And then I just I didn't.

496
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 3: I didn't want that life because I saw I saw

497
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 3: how devastating it was what my grandparents went through when

498
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 3: my dad died, and I was real close to my

499
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:03,920
Speaker 3: grandparents and I watched them. Watching what my grandparents went

500
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 3: through every eleventh, nineteen seventy six is more devastating to

501
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 3: this day than.

502
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 2: Watching what I went through myself.

503
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 3: Really, I can think about my son's death at my

504
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 3: funeral and be okay with and have peace with it,

505
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 3: But you talk about my dad funeral, watching my grandparents

506
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 3: sit there and cry like they did, that has totally

507
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 3: totally affected me and I cry on spot the thought

508
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,480
Speaker 3: of it. I don't know why, and I'm in therapy

509
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:38,080
Speaker 3: now trying to because I always wondered all those years,

510
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 3: how did that make them feel? And then I became

511
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 3: him and it's like, now I know how my granddad

512
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 3: felt all of those years.

513
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 2: So that was tough.

514
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 3: So I just decided to try to live a clean

515
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 3: and sober life.

516
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: I'm not perfect, you know, but I definitely try to

517
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 2: live a cleanland sober life.

518
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 4: Going through what you since you brought it up, the

519
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,159
Speaker 4: loss of your son, how have you been navigating that space?

520
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 2: It's hard. It's hard to wake up. My worst time

521
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 2: is in the morning.

522
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 3: I wake up in the morning and then I start

523
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:22,159
Speaker 3: the first thirteen minutes off with gospel, and sometimes I

524
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 3: have to put on some songs and just get out

525
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,399
Speaker 3: of my chair and lay on the floor, lay up

526
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 3: under the console and cry it out and get it

527
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 3: out of my system. I don't try to be strong

528
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 3: from nobody. I cried and broke down and cried in

529
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 3: the studio. The morning's teared me up. The changing of

530
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:43,119
Speaker 3: the season. Sometime it affects me when I pick up

531
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 3: my granddaughter. My son has a daughter. So when I

532
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: pick her up, she looked just like him. She reminded

533
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 3: me of him when she was when he was her age.

534
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 3: And you know, but I mix it in with look

535
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 3: how good God is, So I try to find the

536
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 3: joy in it. I try to find the joint in

537
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 3: the grief. Because some people are grieving to have lost

538
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 3: their kids and they can't pay their light bill, lost

539
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 3: their kid and fighting cancer.

540
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,640
Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying, It gets real bad.

541
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 3: But when you start looking at what other people are

542
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,639
Speaker 3: going through, what you could be going through, you know

543
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. I always talk about that when I

544
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 3: was doing my book tour, that couple in New Orleans,

545
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:32,159
Speaker 3: that two year old son drowned. They didn't get to

546
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 3: see their kid get on the school bus, and they

547
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 3: come to buy a Ricky Smiley book just when they

548
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,920
Speaker 3: can have something to read to get them some kind

549
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 3: of hope. I saw my son get on the school bus.

550
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 3: God was so good. He let me see him through

551
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 3: elementary school. Then he was double good to let me

552
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 3: see him through high school. He was double good, triple

553
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 3: good to let me just see him drop him off

554
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 3: at Alabama State University, and then to see him turn

555
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 3: third thirtieth birthday backstage with the Martin Lawrence to her

556
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 3: home birthday, said up, he died two years later, but

557
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 3: God was just that good. And then you sit up

558
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 3: here with a two year old. They'll never know how

559
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 3: the son gonna look with a full beard. So you

560
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 3: have to get some get some gratitude real quick. And

561
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 3: I'm a man, and here go. A woman didn't have

562
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,160
Speaker 3: to endure all of that. Just had a baby two

563
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 3: years ago and now he's gone. Like my little grandson

564
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 3: friend drowned and trammed in the pool. He was nine

565
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 3: years old. He was at Grayson's at their birthday party.

566
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 3: They was on the same league football team. And I

567
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 3: just can't imagine what a lot of women have to

568
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 3: go through suffer law It's hard for a man too.

569
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 3: But you know, I be feeling real bad, you know,

570
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 3: for a woman, because you carried him for nine months.

571
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I'm okay, But my son's

572
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,479
Speaker 3: mother is who I pray for and feel sorry for.

573
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 2: She carried him for nine months.

574
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 3: She laid down and pushing them out of her body,

575
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 3: regardless of what forgetting the Ricky Smiley name and brand, Hey,

576
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 3: how would you like to proceed through this process and

577
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 3: what can I do to help? You know, because it

578
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 3: wasn't about me. I didn't walk into church first. I

579
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 3: made sure her and her husband walk in first. What

580
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 3: would you like? What would you really you know, like

581
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 3: something trying to I don't even know if I'm answering

582
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 3: your question. I just I just thank God for his

583
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 3: grace and this merger. I think him for keeping me

584
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 3: and if he can keep my grandparents. My granddaddy was

585
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 3: ninety two years old when he died, and then he

586
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 3: just let me make it to ninety two.

587
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 2: I'm grateful.

588
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 4: Now you answered that perfectly, y'all give a round, apply

589
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 4: for that perfectly perfectly.

590
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: So you wrote a book called side Show.

591
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, what made you decide to write this and tell

592
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 4: the story of grief?

593
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 2: Well?

594
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 3: Being a public figure, you know, you on a radio

595
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 3: everywhere and your son died. You got a lot of

596
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 3: people because they lost their kids. Also, Okay, what can

597
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 3: we get from this? Who can we help? How can

598
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 3: we help somebody through this? And so that's what inspired

599
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 3: me to write the book because it was a story

600
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 3: behind it. There's been a lack of therapy people are having.

601
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 3: People don't know therapy has been something that's just taboo

602
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 3: back in the day. When you get therapy and try

603
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 3: to get help, people think that you're crazy or something

604
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 3: that's wrong with you. And people don't know that there's

605
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 3: help available and that they can go and get help

606
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 3: with their issue. It takes more than just prayer. God

607
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,880
Speaker 3: created doctorship when you, like I said, when you roll

608
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 3: your ankle, you don't pray. You pray on the way

609
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 3: to the hospital exactly, you know, And because the brain

610
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 3: is a muscle, and you know, you just don't want

611
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 3: to heal wrong when you're turning the drugs or turn

612
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 3: the alcoholic fall into a deep depression. But so I

613
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 3: felt that there was an opportunity to help old people.

614
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 3: And so the book has gotten really really great reviews

615
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,960
Speaker 3: five stars on Amazon, and people say it's a great

616
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 3: read and it have helped them or whatever.

617
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 4: So, oh, let me ask you have y'all got that book,

618
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: because if you have, you need to go get it.

619
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 4: Make sure before you leave today, go on Amazon get

620
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 4: the book. Those that don't like reading, get the audio

621
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 4: version of it. But there's so many different formats to

622
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:26,000
Speaker 4: get it.

623
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: But check out that book.

624
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 3: It's called Side Show and the audio version is real intense.

625
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 3: I didn't edit none of the tears out, and I

626
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 3: want to. I said leave it in there because I

627
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 3: want people to feel how I was really feeling.

628
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 2: I didn't try to correct anything.

629
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 3: And the name of the book is called Side Show,

630
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 3: based off the song by Blue Magic. Let the Side

631
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:52,760
Speaker 3: Show begin. Hurry, hurry, step right on end. Can't afford

632
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 3: to pass it by. Guaranteed to make you cry, and

633
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 3: it's about a clown. That's when your job is to

634
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 3: make people laugh and to make people happy while you

635
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 3: crying on the end. So I'll never forget my first

636
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 3: show performing I performed in Cleveland at the excuse Okay,

637
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 3: I was performing in Cleveland at the at the hard

638
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 3: Rock Casino, which is outside of Cleveland, and I walked

639
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 3: out of the hotel and got in the car to go,

640
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 3: and I could not stop crying. I couldnt stop crying.

641
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 3: I cried all the way to the show. I cried

642
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 3: all the way backstage and the guys started introducing me.

643
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 3: The show had to go on because people paid their money,

644
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 3: and I had to look in the mirror and wipe

645
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 3: my tears and blow my nose and go on stage

646
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 3: and give them the business, you know.

647
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 2: I remember I was somewhere.

648
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 3: People started hitting me up on Messenger two and three

649
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 3: o'clock in the morning, and I'm like, why is this

650
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 3: my Facebook friend calling me? Answered the phone. They're on

651
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 3: the phone screaming because their child had just got killed.

652
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,880
Speaker 3: And I stay up all night, they said, mister Smiley,

653
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 3: and they still trying to be like, mister smouldy. I

654
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 3: don't want to. I didn't mean to disturb y'all know

655
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 3: you got to do the morning. So I'm like, ma'am,

656
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 3: I appreciate you calling me. I'm here, I said, I can.

657
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 3: I can stay on the phone with you. I have

658
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 3: stayed on the phone with many people for hours and

659
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 3: hours like your radio personality, and sometime you got to

660
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 3: share in God because they look to you. You went

661
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 3: through this. What do I do now, Rickie? What am

662
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 3: I supposed to do?

663
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 2: My son?

664
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,680
Speaker 3: I'm at the corner's office and I'm talking to people

665
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 3: on the phone three o'clock in the morning.

666
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 2: Send up in the bed.

667
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 3: Because that's a responsibility of being on the radio, much

668
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 3: as given, much as required, and you got to share

669
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 3: some of that. That's why that's what I'm all about.

670
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 3: All of the other stuff. I don't I don't care

671
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 3: about any of that stuff. I have met hundreds of

672
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 3: people on this boat, you know, talking about serious things

673
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 3: that bothered them.

674
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: I just sat in the boot.

675
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,600
Speaker 3: Some of y'all probably beated it and had ladies crying

676
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 3: with their head on my shoulders, and we just cried

677
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 3: it out together on the boat, you know, about things

678
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:18,320
Speaker 3: that mattered to them, about their loss and suffering and grieving.

679
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 3: And I lost my kid and I'm going through cancer

680
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 3: and I'm doing this and doing that. And I came

681
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 3: to the boat because you said come and this, that

682
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 3: and the other. So you know, I man, it's part

683
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 3: of the job, man, And sometimes man, God just put

684
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 3: you up there and put you in a position so

685
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,440
Speaker 3: you can help and bless others that's also suffering. You know,

686
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,959
Speaker 3: I get I get emotional because I always think about

687
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,200
Speaker 3: you know, I just I just I just think about

688
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 3: other people that's going through worse.

689
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 2: And that's what keep me.

690
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: That's it was that your upbringing.

691
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,080
Speaker 4: You were raised like that to put other people's knees

692
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 4: ahead of your own.

693
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: Yes, I had start sending boundaries.

694
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 3: You have always said boundaries so you don't get taken

695
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 3: an advantage of but being coming from ministry and being

696
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 3: around people that give, and just growing up with your

697
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 3: Christian foundation, you learn to give. We send money over

698
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 3: to Kenya every single year for the a C. Girls

699
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 3: School to save little girls. Been doing it almost ten

700
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 3: years from rape and what are they call to now?

701
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 3: What they're doing when rap and sex trafficking and arranged marriages.

702
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,919
Speaker 3: So my name is on the cornerstone of the AI

703
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 3: S Girls School and coming up we're gonna build another

704
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 3: school in Kenya from the ground up. I do kind

705
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 3: of stuff like this quietly or whatever.

706
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. I don't be looking for

707
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: no or whatever, but God, allow God.

708
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 3: To use me and to take advantage of this opportunity

709
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 3: to do good. You know, this ain't about buying no rims.

710
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 3: I don't own any This ain't about buying no journey.

711
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: I ain't never. I don't have no necklaces, I don't

712
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 2: have no chain.

713
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 3: But I just take stuff and just try to donate

714
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 3: to make sure that people have what they need. And

715
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 3: sometimes I have to donate in a manner where I

716
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 3: don't have my hands on it. Let me just do

717
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 3: it well.

718
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: I wanted to.

719
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 3: Because it's a lot because I get mad with people

720
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 3: being ungrateful any entitle. So I just find ways to

721
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 3: give that I don't have to have my hands and

722
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:34,760
Speaker 3: I just give and walk away.

723
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 2: Sometimes sometimes you have to. I had the rick A.

724
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:38,760
Speaker 2: Smiley Foundation.

725
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:44,760
Speaker 3: We out there couldn't hair backpacks, school supplies for the kids,

726
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 3: and you end up getting cussed out, buy some buy

727
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 3: some folks because they got four backpacks instead of six,

728
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 3: and you lead a getting cussed out, getting called all

729
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 3: kinds of So you have to find to give so

730
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 3: you can continue to give. Because I cussed you back out.

731
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 4: I was about to ask you that, Ricky, so I

732
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 4: remember it was a season in your life you didn't

733
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 4: cuss at all. Why you start cussing out because people

734
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:13,720
Speaker 4: and got on my nerves.

735
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 3: And as we all got older, we get in that

736
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 3: space where, hey, you ain't gonna talk to me like that,

737
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:28,040
Speaker 3: and your mama and you just tell them what they

738
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 3: need to know. You have to train people how.

739
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 2: To treat you. And love is respect for a man

740
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 2: or a man. Respect is love.

741
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 3: You't even got to tell me you love me when

742
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 3: some of y'all walk up to me in that genuine

743
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: hug and the way some of y'all hug and love

744
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 3: and just lean in. I can feel the genuineness. I

745
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 3: love people. That's genuine, insincere them a little spit them

746
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 3: a little man if it wasn't. But like they pray for

747
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 3: the young man on stage today. And I remember doctor

748
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,479
Speaker 3: Davidson did that for me at church.

749
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 2: It made me.

750
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 3: I had to come off stage because I was about

751
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,439
Speaker 3: to cry because it was triggering, you know that kind

752
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 3: of stuff.

753
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 1: Stuff what happened? What happened? Who was praying you're talking about?

754
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,799
Speaker 3: I was sitting in the back of the church I

755
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 3: go to. I go to my dollar missionary Aboutist church

756
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 3: and for a lot of that. Because I live in Florida,

757
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,359
Speaker 3: sometimes I just sit in the back of the church.

758
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 3: I always like to sit on the back with the

759
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 3: ushers because I'll be laughing at day because they be

760
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 3: too serious. They be they're not gonna let you in

761
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,839
Speaker 3: them doors. So I sit next to this lady named

762
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,919
Speaker 3: Miss Wiggs. She's the head usher, and I'm just back

763
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 3: there being messy because they be passing pappermints everything, and

764
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 3: it feels like you're on a road with your Grandmamasa

765
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 3: and great grandma.

766
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,439
Speaker 2: So if I go to any church.

767
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,439
Speaker 3: I always sit on the back with the ushers because

768
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 3: I just need to be in the midst of the

769
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 3: process of usherman. It just I'm obsessed with it. Yeah,

770
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 3: I love that I'm too ushy. But they say they

771
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 3: hold seats for their friends. Tell people.

772
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 2: It'd be about to wipe me out dead serious, So

773
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 2: at all?

774
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 4: What was I talking about? They brought you on stage

775
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 4: and prayed for you. When they brought you on stage,

776
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 4: make the mind of my own business.

777
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 3: Dr Davidson was up there, Doctor Marcus Davidson was up

778
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 3: there about the preacher.

779
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 2: He said, Ricky coming for a minute. And I came

780
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 2: to the front.

781
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 3: He had every deacon, every man, every associate passing, and

782
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 3: they came around me and they put.

783
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,880
Speaker 2: A oh man.

784
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: Testify.

785
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, they did me like they did that young man

786
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 3: this morning, just like that, And Dtor Davis and Doctor

787
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 3: Marcus Davison prayed for me to blood and sweat was

788
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 3: dripping off his forehead. He prayed for me till his

789
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,800
Speaker 3: hands got sweaty, and it was just a heart felt

790
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 3: prayer from that gut.

791
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 2: And I felt like that broke.

792
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:16,359
Speaker 3: The depression, the sadness, the anxiety. I felt like when

793
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 3: I walked back to my seat, pray for me so hard.

794
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 3: I was almost dizzy. So I felt that that, you know,

795
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:24,640
Speaker 3: I had to just go back to my seat. I

796
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 3: was up there with him, and I made sure I

797
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 3: put my hand on his head. Just wanted to just

798
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 3: touch him. What I want the love that that man

799
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 3: was feeling. It wasn't even just that the people in

800
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: Atlanta Airport, the ts A agents coming around, they would

801
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 3: hug me and wouldn't even say nothing.

802
00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 2: When somebody hug you and.

803
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,720
Speaker 3: They don't say a word, and they say everything without

804
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 3: even saying something. When the Delta, when the Delta ticket

805
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 3: agents come from behind the counter and just hugged on

806
00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 3: me and loved on me.

807
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 2: When I was traveling, When the when the when the

808
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 2: flight attendant.

809
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 3: Saw my head on my left on the plane and

810
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 3: just stuck his hand through my arms which was s

811
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 3: folded up tight with a bunch of tissue. When the

812
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 3: American Airline flight attendant, which is rubbed, and I knew

813
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,399
Speaker 3: she was an American Airline flight attendant because I looked at

814
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 3: her pants leg and her shoes. Because I was like this,

815
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 3: I never did haul my head up. I looked at

816
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 3: the shoes and I looked at the pan now I

817
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 3: knew it was a uh and sat on black stockings.

818
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,439
Speaker 2: I knew right then, and.

819
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 3: That lady sat there in that Birmingham airport and it just.

820
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,240
Speaker 2: Rubbed my back.

821
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:55,320
Speaker 3: The love, the thoughtfulness and the comfort from the flight attendant,

822
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 3: to the tents a agents, to the the woman at

823
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 3: home Goods. I went up there to pay for something

824
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 3: and something just triggered me. Lady asked me if I'm

825
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 3: a credit card. Just started crying at the counter. I

826
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 3: can't thank I didn't know what to do. And a

827
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 3: lady that was a pastor's wife came in the door.

828
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 3: She saw me it to kind of crying, and she

829
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 3: grabbed me and she took me over to the corner

830
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 3: with a took me over to the corner when we

831
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,759
Speaker 3: first walked in the store and just let me put

832
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 3: my hand on his shoulders and cry. So it was

833
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 3: it was things like that that kept me and that's

834
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 3: why it's so important for me to be there for

835
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 3: other people.

836
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:46,680
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

837
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 3: And UH, and I just I just thank God for

838
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 3: sending those angels. That's what I talk about it in

839
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 3: the book. Those were the angels. Those were the beams

840
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 3: of light that came through the clouds. Like you see

841
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,800
Speaker 3: how dark this ceiling is. All of those white lights

842
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 3: represent the lady behind the tears, a counter doctor Davidson

843
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 3: praying for me in front of the whole church. The

844
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 3: folks over there at the funeral home that's checking.

845
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:15,719
Speaker 2: Up on you.

846
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,280
Speaker 3: When the flowers withered, and when the calls stopped coming

847
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 3: in and stuff, when you sitting in the house by

848
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,800
Speaker 3: yourself and everybody gone, and you mad at everybody for

849
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 3: not checking on you, and you don't understand that people

850
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 3: got to go on about with their life.

851
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,919
Speaker 2: And your job is to be funny. How about that?

852
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,399
Speaker 3: Not to go to work at the bank or work

853
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 3: at Wells Fire, gonna work at you biz. Your job

854
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 3: is to get on the radio and be funny every morning.

855
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,239
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna shut up after this.

856
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,200
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you this story, and I want everybody

857
00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 3: to use this. My son died on a Sunday. Got

858
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 3: to read the book that Wednesday. I woke up. I

859
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:57,959
Speaker 3: was like, I don't want to lay in the bed

860
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 3: and think about this. I'm gonna get up and get

861
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:06,719
Speaker 3: back on the radio. Because somebody in Miami and Chicago

862
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 3: is going through the same thing and worse. I have

863
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:12,359
Speaker 3: a duty, I have a responsibility. I know I can

864
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 3: do radio for three and a half hours and cry later.

865
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 3: Then I said, when I get off the radio, I'm

866
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 3: gonna go to the Salvation Army and I'm gonna serve

867
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 3: the homeless today. Because so, I grabbed my son clothes

868
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 3: that I was gonna take to the funeral home and

869
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 3: pack this stuff up, put it in the back of

870
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 3: the jeep.

871
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 2: That was the worst day.

872
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 3: It was dark that day, it was raining, and it

873
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:41,719
Speaker 3: was cold, and I had to close in the car.

874
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,279
Speaker 3: I said, I'm gonna listen to kiss. I don't want

875
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 3: to listen to no God's I'm just gonna do R

876
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,919
Speaker 3: and D today. Keep me with some balance. I went

877
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 3: straight down to the Salvation Army. I said, I'm gonna

878
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 3: serve the homeless today, and I'm gonna leave the Salvation

879
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:56,919
Speaker 3: Army and then I'm gonna go to the funeral home

880
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 3: and make the final arrangement. Got to the Salvation Army

881
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:06,320
Speaker 3: because I wanted to show God that I was determined.

882
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:12,959
Speaker 2: To serve despite of my trials and tribulation. Right.

883
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 3: That was a challenge, that was like Okay, God, you

884
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 3: took my son, but I'm gonna show you that I'm

885
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 3: gonna be a faithful servant.

886
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 5: Now.

887
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 3: Only am I gonna get up and do radio and

888
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:26,399
Speaker 3: play some gospel music or something that's gonna help somebody else.

889
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to the Salvation Army today. All these

890
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 3: people was in line to get a hot dog, a

891
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 3: handful of chips, a slice of cake, some sauur craft,

892
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 3: and a cup of punch. All the homeless people came

893
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,879
Speaker 3: through the line, every last one of them. What a Rick,

894
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 3: Sorry about your son, man? I lost my son. To Rick,

895
00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 3: he lost his son and he told us. Next person

896
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 3: signed about your son. I lost my daughter. She died,

897
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,919
Speaker 3: and I've been homeless ever since. I'm seeing them making

898
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 3: hot dogs and making trades, putting it up there, and

899
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: I'm hearing all these stories and all these testimonies just

900
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 3: coming through the line and were hugging and loving on

901
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:23,320
Speaker 3: all those people. And I said, God gonna double bless

902
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:25,600
Speaker 3: me for this. I knew that God had something for me.

903
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 3: I didn't know what it was, but I had to

904
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 3: be faithful and I just had to serve. And it's

905
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 3: easy to serve when you feel better. But can you

906
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 3: serve when you in the tolist the darkest point of

907
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 3: your life?

908
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 2: Can you can you.

909
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 3: Left there? Driving to the funeral home, the wind start blowing.

910
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:58,759
Speaker 3: I'm in a jeep, wind blowing. I'm in between two

911
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 3: tracks of trailers. Got to go down head to the

912
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 3: funeral home. Had to go to the back where I

913
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,840
Speaker 3: could show the barber how to tram my son and beard.

914
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:12,920
Speaker 2: And I walked back there and there he was.

915
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 3: I was actually there when they rolled the body in,

916
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:18,399
Speaker 3: because my granddaddy said he was there when they rolled

917
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 3: my dad's boy in. So I was standing there like

918
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:25,879
Speaker 3: a soldier, and I took it off, you know. And

919
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 3: I did what I had to do just to make

920
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 3: sure that my family was straighting, to make sure that

921
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 3: my son and mother didn't have to deal with any

922
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:38,080
Speaker 3: of that. I had to try to protect her and

923
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 3: her awesome husband from some of the details of that.

924
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 2: And I just had to do what I had to do.

925
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 2: And God gave me strength.

926
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,359
Speaker 3: And that's why when I hear that son, that son

927
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:56,479
Speaker 3: the blood that gives me strength, and no other church

928
00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 3: song wiped me out. When Royce played that on that

929
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 3: organ at Mount Sign Missionary Baptist Church Nashville, Tennessee. When

930
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 3: Royce jump on the organ, it starts and they start

931
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 3: doing the blood. It wipes me out. As one church song,

932
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:14,600
Speaker 3: I can't listen to it just wipes me out. But

933
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 3: I just you just have to be there for people.

934
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 3: And I feel like God allowed me to if nothing else,

935
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:26,280
Speaker 3: he allowed me to heal, He allowed me to feel better,

936
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,560
Speaker 3: He allowed me to be better, He allowed me to

937
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 3: not be broken.

938
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,320
Speaker 2: So that's why I continue to serve.

939
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 4: How do y'all believe in the power of prayer? Do

940
00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 4: we got people that still believe in the power of prayer?

941
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 4: You got double You got a double blessing as you

942
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 4: call it. Talk about that.

943
00:47:54,000 --> 00:48:07,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, Hey, you're gonna be good. Okay, hanging there.

944
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 2: Listen.

945
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 3: God will not leave you, nor he will he forsake you.

946
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 3: The God we serve as a loving God. Trust me,

947
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 3: whatever it is, you're gonna be on the other side

948
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 3: of it. Okay, just hang in there, Just keep getting

949
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 3: up every day. If you have a CROs if you

950
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 3: can look up, you can get up.

951
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

952
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 4: I want everybody stretch her hand in her direction. Right now,

953
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 4: Heavenly Father, we come to you right now in the

954
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 4: name of Jesus, whatever she is going through. Lord, you said,

955
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 4: where two or more gathered than your name, there shall

956
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 4: you be in the mists. So we speak right now

957
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 4: in the name of Jesus, every demonic, I, every lie,

958
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 4: everything that has been spoken over this situation, we rebuke

959
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 4: it and we send it back to the pits of

960
00:48:58,160 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 4: hell where it belonged. Lord, I asked for you to

961
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 4: give her unspeakable joy, joy that passes all understanding. God

962
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 4: asks that you cover her from the crown of her

963
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:07,400
Speaker 4: head to the soles of her feet. Let her be

964
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 4: a mighty woman that walks in authority and dominion over

965
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 4: the eyes of the enemy. In the name of Jesus,

966
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 4: we thank you that there will be a praise report

967
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 4: coming from this, that this will be the day that

968
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 4: you show up and reveal yourself to her like you

969
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 4: never have before. And God will continue to give you

970
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 4: the praise, the glory and the adoration.

971
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 1: Because you are Jehovah Jirah.

972
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:28,520
Speaker 4: You are Elohim, you are el sha Dai, you are

973
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:31,640
Speaker 4: Jehovah Nissi. You are everything that we need when we

974
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 4: don't even know that we need it. So God, I

975
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 4: ask right now, in the name of Jesus for you

976
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,479
Speaker 4: to give her power. Power right now, do the miss

977
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 4: power in the name of Jesus to be able to

978
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,759
Speaker 4: go through this season, whatever she is going through. God,

979
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:46,800
Speaker 4: we counted all joy in Jesus' name. We pray Amen.

980
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 3: And let people like her. Is why get up every morning,

981
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 3: ya the whole time. That's why I get up in

982
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:07,840
Speaker 3: the morning. That's why I perform. I can go on

983
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:09,879
Speaker 3: station and do comedy. I can look at people face

984
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 3: and tell that they lost their kid because God light

985
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 3: them up for me. He light every last one of them.

986
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,960
Speaker 3: I'll be like you, you, you, and you come to

987
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 3: the front of the stage, come to the side. He

988
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:25,040
Speaker 3: light them up, give you a spirit of discernment. That's

989
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 3: why I clash with people that's not genuine when they

990
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 3: come in my space because.

991
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:31,359
Speaker 2: I get irritated.

992
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 3: But people that's genuine and sincere and hurt and going

993
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 3: through stuff, people like y'all. Y'all, y'all the reason why

994
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 3: I get up every morning, and just if I can

995
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 3: just give you some kind of hope and inspiration, let

996
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 3: you know that it's gonna be alright, whatever it is.

997
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:51,240
Speaker 3: I wasn't trying to turn this into that the terrorist people.

998
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 1: No, no, let it be what it's supposed to be, man.

999
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 3: People going through stuff, People suffering, Man, they don't know

1000
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 3: what to do, a lot of people suffering with no resources.

1001
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 2: They can't even want therapy.

1002
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,280
Speaker 3: You know how many I got an account with different

1003
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 3: therapists all over the country, man, just trying to get

1004
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 3: people in a room with a therapist. That's why I

1005
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,360
Speaker 3: go out and do these little extra shows where I

1006
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,879
Speaker 3: pay for that stuff. Got accounts with different funeral homes.

1007
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 3: Some people lose their kids, man, I can't tell you

1008
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 3: how many times Gary and Gary was working for me

1009
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 3: as a personal assistant. Man. How many caskets we done bought,

1010
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 3: how many how many tune songs we done bought. Lady

1011
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 3: go out here and lose her son and she don't

1012
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:33,480
Speaker 3: have money enough to buy a marker for her son grave.

1013
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 3: We got these little counts we have to go and

1014
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 3: pay us to back with and all these different people

1015
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 3: and stuff and send money in to make sure people

1016
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 3: have what they need. Because I was selfish, I would

1017
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 3: be rich. We nene pay for something a week got

1018
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 3: the Brandon died. A lady lost both of her sons

1019
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:53,759
Speaker 3: in LA and didn't have money to pay for bury him.

1020
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 3: I told my sisters, just do it. I don't I

1021
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 3: can't deal with the details because I'm grieving. Just just

1022
00:51:58,920 --> 00:52:01,399
Speaker 3: see to it. And she saw to it. I don't

1023
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 3: know who the lady is. I never contacted the lady.

1024
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,240
Speaker 3: I never because I had to deal with my grief.

1025
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 3: But I had to make sure that it got done.

1026
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:13,959
Speaker 3: And that's why I just thank God for God. Man, God,

1027
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 3: use you. God give you something to see what you're

1028
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 3: gonna do with it? Are you gonna make it about you?

1029
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 3: Are you gonna use all of this stuff and the

1030
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 3: benefit to help others? Not bragging about it, but I'm

1031
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 3: just saying, you get something, man, You just got to

1032
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 3: figure out how can you help other people?

1033
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 2: That's it.

1034
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 1: Now, it's not bragging at all. You're testifying.

1035
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 4: It's testifying because we need more people like that that

1036
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 4: don't just store up their resources for themselves, but they

1037
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:45,880
Speaker 4: know that there are conduits to help other people and bless.

1038
00:52:45,600 --> 00:52:46,360
Speaker 1: The kind of God.

1039
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,799
Speaker 4: And so now, don't be ashamed to give a testimony

1040
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 4: because it may encourage other people that are well off

1041
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:54,799
Speaker 4: to say, you know what, maybe I don't need to

1042
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 4: just go buy me another Rolex. Maybe I can bless

1043
00:52:57,239 --> 00:53:00,720
Speaker 4: somebody else to help them, because that could totally your life.

1044
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 1: So yeah, don't be ashamed of that.

1045
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:05,840
Speaker 2: And God turned around gave me my twin daughters.

1046
00:53:06,239 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 3: When I found out about them, I remember looking at

1047
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 3: the sky and I remember literally watching the sky go

1048
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 3: back to its original color, and I called I think

1049
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:19,239
Speaker 3: I called doctor Davidson.

1050
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 2: I think I called Pastor Haynes.

1051
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 3: I called Bishawonka first, and I didn't even tell my family.

1052
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:28,800
Speaker 3: I just told them because their personal friends and pastor

1053
00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 3: key On. So coincidentally, most of my closest friends are

1054
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:38,120
Speaker 3: pastors and I don't know why, and I act the

1055
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 3: same around and they didn't hear me curse and talk

1056
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:45,919
Speaker 3: trash or whatever, but I told them that, and I

1057
00:53:46,040 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 3: just I had to figure out how to navigate through

1058
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 3: that because some people was gonna see it as a blessing,

1059
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:57,600
Speaker 3: and then people with the poverty mindset saw it as

1060
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 3: mess and a clique and an opportunity to get a

1061
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 3: messy story out there that was untrue or whatever. I

1062
00:54:06,840 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 3: just had to ignore it because the real press and

1063
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 3: the real media did their job, and they did the

1064
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 3: real search and did the story the right way. And

1065
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 3: that's why I appreciate people like Tamor and Hall and

1066
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 3: yourself and different ones that will allow me to come

1067
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 3: on stage and express But some people felt like if

1068
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 3: they didn't know every single little detail, some stuff is

1069
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 3: just any of your business. And if you get up

1070
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 3: in church and say that God bless you with a Toyota,

1071
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:40,400
Speaker 3: a brand new Toyota Corolla, it is my job to

1072
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 3: celebrate your blessing because that's a blessing to you. Well,

1073
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 3: it is not my job to look at you and say,

1074
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:49,399
Speaker 3: I wonder how she got it. I bet they say

1075
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 3: on drugs. I bet they slid on a pole. Just

1076
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 3: got some people that just messing, just want to find

1077
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:01,640
Speaker 3: the negative and everything. But that has been a blessing

1078
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 3: to my life. The first person in the state of

1079
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:09,240
Speaker 3: Alabama to win grandparent rights. I have a president's case

1080
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 3: for grandparent rights. I get to see my granddaughter and

1081
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 3: it's a shame that I had to go to court

1082
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 3: to do it. That's a whole other issue that we

1083
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:23,279
Speaker 3: can definitely have a conversation.

1084
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 2: About one day.

1085
00:55:23,560 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 3: I would love to have to talk about.

1086
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 1: They say, and habit, you want to have it now, Ricky.

1087
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 2: We can have it.

1088
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:31,399
Speaker 1: Come on the top.

1089
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 3: We talk about about fifty to fifty parental rights.

1090
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:35,879
Speaker 2: You know.

1091
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 3: What's the word, you know, keeping a good parent, whether

1092
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 3: it's a man or a woman away from the child

1093
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 3: because you don't like them in a relationship or the

1094
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 3: relationship ended. That's something and it affect kids. It has

1095
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:57,640
Speaker 3: a negative effective kids. It should be an alienation law.

1096
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:01,680
Speaker 3: And I just appreciate this State of Texas changing laws

1097
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,719
Speaker 3: because now what happens when you don't show up with

1098
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 3: the child. There's a five hundred dollars citation, and then

1099
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 3: the second time it's another five hundred dollars citation. The

1100
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:17,360
Speaker 3: third time, the court is gonna put out a warrant

1101
00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 3: for your arrest. Ain't gonna change custody over.

1102
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 4: It's gonna interference with child custody. And it's a felony.

1103
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:29,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, every parent has a right to have a relationship

1104
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 3: with their child.

1105
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 2: It should be fifty to fifty.

1106
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 1: And so you said you won grandparents rights.

1107
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 3: Explain that the state of Alabama nobody had won it.

1108
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 3: It's been somebody won, but it's been overturned by the

1109
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 3: Court of Appeals.

1110
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 2: So I won and got to stay for my granddaughter.

1111
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 3: And they make it so hard the average person they're

1112
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:57,239
Speaker 3: gonna give up. The average person cannot afford the grandparent

1113
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:59,319
Speaker 3: rights fight because it's so many.

1114
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 2: They make the at you so hard. It's such a

1115
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:03,720
Speaker 2: steep climb.

1116
00:57:04,920 --> 00:57:07,360
Speaker 3: You have to have good attorneys and you have to

1117
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 3: have resources in order to beat it. So now I've

1118
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 3: become like the brown versus the boydy education that's called

1119
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:20,400
Speaker 3: the President, like the President's case so to be, you know,

1120
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 3: So now people can look at my case and figure

1121
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 3: out how to help other people win grandparents rights.

1122
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:29,680
Speaker 2: And I just have to. I have to be a

1123
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 2: part of my kids' life.

1124
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:41,120
Speaker 3: Visitation is wrong with its visit child. I had somebody

1125
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 3: made a suggestion that I only need to see my

1126
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 3: kids every first and third weekend, Like what is that.

1127
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 3: I'm not a visitor to them, I'm their dad. We're

1128
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 3: going to do fifty to fifty period. They need their mom,

1129
00:57:58,560 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 3: they need their dad.

1130
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 1: You know.

1131
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:04,160
Speaker 3: So we play a very important role in kids life,

1132
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 3: and we just need to start talking about more fifty

1133
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 3: fifty and stop alienating the other parent.

1134
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 2: And I don't want to sound sexist for everybody.

1135
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 3: If you're a man that have consider of your kids,

1136
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 3: do not alienate them from their mother. Boys need their mother,

1137
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,959
Speaker 3: just like girls need their father. You know, we give

1138
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 3: girls confidence, we give them toughness, we give them discipline,

1139
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 3: we give them structure on whatever.

1140
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 2: So you know, it's something that we need to talk

1141
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 2: more about.

1142
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:43,200
Speaker 4: Congratulations, Congratulations, congratulations. Love when people say precedents for things

1143
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 4: about to give the radio transition to A Q and

1144
00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 4: A anything else. What do you have coming down the pipeline?

1145
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 3: More radio, More radio coming down the pipeline, more things

1146
00:58:56,760 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 3: with TV one and reach media, more comedy shows. I

1147
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 3: kind of settling into my career. I ain't trying to

1148
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 3: do no more TV shows and movies and different stuff

1149
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:09,280
Speaker 3: like that. Like I'm good.

1150
00:59:09,320 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 2: I really I.

1151
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 3: Really enjoy pushing the kids and the grandkids on the swing.

1152
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 3: I don't have to sell out arenas. I don't have

1153
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 3: to go on the road and do condedy shows. I

1154
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 3: don't have nothing else to prove. I really love pushing

1155
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:30,080
Speaker 3: the kids on the swing and going to the trampoline

1156
00:59:30,120 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 3: park and jumping on the trampoline, making some pinto beans

1157
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 3: and corn bread and smoke turkey necks and sitting there.

1158
00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:40,880
Speaker 3: We got the little kids prison trays. I call it

1159
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 3: the prison trade with the little individual.

1160
00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:44,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1161
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 3: God is great. God is good. Let us think them

1162
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 3: for our food. We say our blessing, We go upstairs,

1163
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 3: we get this shower. And now the kids over stimulating.

1164
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 3: When I have all four, my two twin daughters and

1165
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:02,480
Speaker 3: my two granddaughters, I get over stimulated because it's a light,

1166
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 3: because they be like they have a need, and this

1167
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 3: person being mean, and this person hit me. She said,

1168
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 3: I can't have the doll, or bring me the damn doll.

1169
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:13,120
Speaker 3: Put the doll over there, take the eepad back of

1170
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 3: the stairs. Hey, stop stomping what you're doing at par

1171
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:18,320
Speaker 3: go home, go sit down. So do you want to

1172
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 3: send the time down. I'm gonna beat your ass.

1173
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 2: Stop like it be me by my saying.

1174
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 3: If y'all could be in the house when it's just

1175
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:31,480
Speaker 3: me and four girls, all of them want to sleep

1176
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 3: with you.

1177
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 2: Nobody know how to sleep in a straight.

1178
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:37,480
Speaker 3: Line, all of them doing synchronized sleeping.

1179
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 2: Then it's hard to take them up to their room.

1180
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:43,040
Speaker 3: They got a nice bedroom, they got dolls, they got

1181
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,600
Speaker 3: tort Everybody want to come to the little musty couch

1182
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:49,240
Speaker 3: where I'm watching the NFL channel, And everybody want to

1183
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:51,120
Speaker 3: sleep on the couch. Now I got to sleep on

1184
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 3: the floor. And stuff. You put them in the bed.

1185
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 3: They don't know how to sleep in us. So now

1186
01:00:56,080 --> 01:00:59,240
Speaker 3: I had to put pillows in between each person to

1187
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:01,880
Speaker 3: try to keep them in line, to set some boundaries

1188
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 3: into bed. My two of your old granddaughter woke up

1189
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 3: at three o'clock in the morning and asked me what

1190
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 3: time is it, like she got to go to work.

1191
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 3: I got to deal with all of that. So we

1192
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 3: go on to the football practice. We going to tennis,

1193
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 3: We're going to Taikwanda. We go on to the baseball put

1194
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:21,480
Speaker 3: your seatbelt on? Well, Wine got to let me know

1195
01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 3: that she put our seatbelt on, like she need validation

1196
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 3: for putting our seatbelt on. I said, he's supposed to

1197
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:27,120
Speaker 3: put your seat belt on.

1198
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 2: Just hush. You don't have to say that just to

1199
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 2: make the other twins jumps.

1200
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,800
Speaker 3: Well, I put my seat But will you be quiet too,

1201
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:34,880
Speaker 3: because you being messy to let her know that you

1202
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 3: put your seat belt off?

1203
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 2: First?

1204
01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:38,360
Speaker 3: Where they run? I said, go on south, get where

1205
01:01:38,360 --> 01:01:40,280
Speaker 3: they run up the steps. Well, I went to the

1206
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 3: room first, which Daddy, she's being mean because she's not

1207
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:43,920
Speaker 3: letting me win.

1208
01:01:44,240 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 2: The only thing you're doing is walk into the room.

1209
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 3: Be quiet, stop coming down here being messy, because messy

1210
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:53,080
Speaker 3: girls become messy women. Shut the hell up, Sit in

1211
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 3: the back seat, put the seatbelt on, wipe your mouth,

1212
01:01:56,360 --> 01:02:00,120
Speaker 3: get your tray, and.

1213
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 2: Uh, where's the melon? Toone?

1214
01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 5: It?

1215
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 2: Do y'all want the drops? So do you want the gun?

1216
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:08,680
Speaker 2: Its what fun? Fuck you want? Poor girl.

1217
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:12,680
Speaker 3: Grace and my grandson just go in this room because

1218
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 3: the door he don't know. The man now he ended

1219
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:17,400
Speaker 3: up playing places. He said, I said, hey, he won't

1220
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 3: let us coming ro I say, it's his room. He

1221
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 3: had the right. If you go in this room and

1222
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 3: be still, to be quiet, he'll let you come in there. Shoot,

1223
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:29,680
Speaker 3: they be, they be. It's something two y'all dever that

1224
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 3: articulates everything perfectly, But she won't go get on that

1225
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 3: damn Partty's so she can. She know the three branches

1226
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:43,000
Speaker 3: of government, but she won't sit on that party. And

1227
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:51,400
Speaker 3: her nickname is pissy Miss. Said, hey, pissy miss, that's

1228
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 3: the one that's messed with the two yarall. Or she

1229
01:02:54,040 --> 01:02:57,000
Speaker 3: pours all the tea and she sits in between. She

1230
01:02:57,120 --> 01:03:01,439
Speaker 3: keeps all the mess going between everybody. So it's it's

1231
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 3: a lot, it's a lot of fun. But that's the

1232
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 3: step Hey, Hey, that's.

1233
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 2: The double for your trouble.

1234
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:13,280
Speaker 3: Do y'all see how God keeping you distracted from the grief,

1235
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:17,880
Speaker 3: from the sadness, from the anxiety, from the depression by

1236
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:22,600
Speaker 3: giving you. That's what your grandkids for, That's what your

1237
01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 3: kids and your grandkids for when you're going through those

1238
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:28,640
Speaker 3: trials and tribulations. God like, here you go, giving you

1239
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:31,880
Speaker 3: something to do to occupy your mind. We had the

1240
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 3: trampoline park. We in publics Now. I got one twin

1241
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,760
Speaker 3: that I can't make eye contact with because she's not

1242
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:38,440
Speaker 3: used to.

1243
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 2: The little people. Throw off one of my twins.

1244
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 3: Little people, because you can't say mission, it's little people.

1245
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:56,520
Speaker 2: So when she when she sees what she be.

1246
01:03:56,640 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 3: Like, I said, hey, hey, hey, turn around. It's one

1247
01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:10,439
Speaker 3: twin that may eye contact and I see her looking

1248
01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:13,040
Speaker 3: at me. I won't make eye contact with her. I

1249
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:17,200
Speaker 3: don't know where she's getting that from. One of them,

1250
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:22,600
Speaker 3: one of my twins looks straight ahead, she got she

1251
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:25,480
Speaker 3: knows something. It's a situation, but she just ignore it.

1252
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,439
Speaker 3: But that one twin she's on men that she looking

1253
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:38,920
Speaker 3: at me like like, nigga, do you see this? And

1254
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 3: I have to keep my hand over them for mind.

1255
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:45,560
Speaker 3: Because she has said, Papa, that's a man baby. Hey hey, hey, hey, hey,

1256
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:50,080
Speaker 3: shut your damn off, shut your mouth.

1257
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 1: A man baby, a man.

1258
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:57,520
Speaker 5: So mine is not really a question. I just have

1259
01:04:57,600 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 5: a comment. And so my comment is is that I

1260
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,240
Speaker 5: just want to give you a different outlook when it

1261
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:08,280
Speaker 5: comes to women who are not soft, because I was

1262
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:11,640
Speaker 5: not a soft woman when I married my husband, and

1263
01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 5: I've known my husband for thirty one years, we've been

1264
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:18,560
Speaker 5: married for twenty seven years. I'm a woman that was

1265
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:20,760
Speaker 5: from the East side of Detroit and all I knew

1266
01:05:20,800 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 5: how to be was hard. I was always feminine, but.

1267
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 2: I could deliver very aggressively. And so I say that

1268
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 2: to say for.

1269
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,600
Speaker 5: The women who may not be soft but could become

1270
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:35,320
Speaker 5: soft because you have that man who can nurture that

1271
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 5: and bring that off. So I'm just saying, sometimes the

1272
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:44,360
Speaker 5: package may not come. And I know when we get

1273
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:47,200
Speaker 5: older there are things that we can't tolerate. But if

1274
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 5: my husband wouldn't have been that gym for me, I

1275
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:53,080
Speaker 5: wouldn't be the woman that I am today. So sometimes

1276
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:56,320
Speaker 5: the packages may not come that way. And like I said,

1277
01:05:56,440 --> 01:05:59,160
Speaker 5: I could give it to you straight up and just

1278
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:04,000
Speaker 5: cuss you out from to talk to them about but

1279
01:06:04,360 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 5: I've changed and that was that man that did that.

1280
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:11,000
Speaker 5: So sometimes as women, we don't come off as soft

1281
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:13,200
Speaker 5: because that wasn't our environment. I didn't grow up in

1282
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 5: an environment where I had to be soft. I had

1283
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 5: to be tough, and my husband had to create that

1284
01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:20,520
Speaker 5: soft space for me and he did when you needed.

1285
01:06:21,760 --> 01:06:27,120
Speaker 3: Let me say this, ma'am, I love that. I appreciate that,

1286
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:32,200
Speaker 3: and you should definitely teach a class and do some mentorship. No, no,

1287
01:06:32,680 --> 01:06:34,960
Speaker 3: where you can help somebody, because there's a lot of

1288
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:38,080
Speaker 3: women out there like that because we don't know any better.

1289
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:40,760
Speaker 2: The only thing we know is see I didn't know that,

1290
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:41,880
Speaker 2: but we don't know.

1291
01:06:42,000 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 3: Only thing I know is what I'm experiencing when I'm

1292
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:45,520
Speaker 3: with you.

1293
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:47,320
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. A lot of us was

1294
01:06:47,400 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 2: raised by singing women.

1295
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:53,120
Speaker 3: I'm raised by grandparents, and if I become if I'm feminine,

1296
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,160
Speaker 3: a woman ain't gonna want.

1297
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:58,880
Speaker 2: Men, you know what I'm saying. So you know, you

1298
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:00,160
Speaker 2: should mentor.

1299
01:06:59,840 --> 01:07:03,240
Speaker 3: As many women as possible or whatever, because a lot

1300
01:07:03,280 --> 01:07:05,680
Speaker 3: of times, man, that's where keep people out of relationship.

1301
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:09,320
Speaker 3: Because I'm glad uh that you became who you are,

1302
01:07:09,520 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 3: and thank God that somebody was there to but but

1303
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:15,360
Speaker 3: but you you had that. He must have solved the

1304
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 3: softness in you and saw something in you that he

1305
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,040
Speaker 3: could kind of get you to come over to this

1306
01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 3: side right here, so y'all could continue to be together.

1307
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:35,080
Speaker 3: But sometimes it be they be like like the uh

1308
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:37,040
Speaker 3: I was. I tried to I tried to get a

1309
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:38,640
Speaker 3: stud to talk around. She tell me she wanted to

1310
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:43,200
Speaker 3: play football for the risk. And no, you just keep

1311
01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:45,040
Speaker 3: doing what you're doing. You just make sure you mentor

1312
01:07:45,920 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 3: young ladies so they can understand that or whatever.

1313
01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:49,040
Speaker 2: And I appreciate that.

1314
01:07:49,160 --> 01:07:52,919
Speaker 1: Yes, ma'am, thank you. Introduce yourself in what city you're from.

1315
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:54,880
Speaker 7: I don't know how I can follow that, but Hi,

1316
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:59,520
Speaker 7: my name is Ryl. I'm from Baltimore, Maryland. Baltimore, Maryland,

1317
01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:02,840
Speaker 7: be more, I'm a US Army veteran.

1318
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you for serving.

1319
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:13,520
Speaker 7: And my question is brief. I'm three time divorce and

1320
01:08:13,920 --> 01:08:17,320
Speaker 7: you know, not necessarily looking for anything. If it have

1321
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:22,920
Speaker 7: enough fall upon me, that's okay. But how do you

1322
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 7: be out in the streets. You know as a woman

1323
01:08:26,600 --> 01:08:28,920
Speaker 7: that I've done all the things, did all the things,

1324
01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:31,960
Speaker 7: accomplished all the things. Like you said, I'm I'm hard,

1325
01:08:32,520 --> 01:08:38,080
Speaker 7: but I'm soft, but you know, just not. I guess

1326
01:08:39,120 --> 01:08:43,200
Speaker 7: I'm not thirsty in a sense, but I'm looking, but

1327
01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:44,479
Speaker 7: i'm thirsty.

1328
01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 3: What's yl You are beautiful, and I promise you God

1329
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:51,480
Speaker 3: got something for you.

1330
01:08:51,160 --> 01:08:52,920
Speaker 1: Yeah you say you've been married three times? Right?

1331
01:08:53,240 --> 01:08:55,320
Speaker 2: Yes see, yeah.

1332
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:59,000
Speaker 1: You already had some people ain't got one. People ain't

1333
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:03,479
Speaker 1: got one to free you good. I don't feel my question.

1334
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:05,040
Speaker 2: I just want to clarify my question.

1335
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:08,599
Speaker 7: So how can somebody like me, a woman, just flirt

1336
01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:12,559
Speaker 7: like tastefully, like be out let them know that. Hey,

1337
01:09:12,920 --> 01:09:14,040
Speaker 7: I'm in an open space.

1338
01:09:14,840 --> 01:09:16,600
Speaker 2: Listen, you are beautiful.

1339
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:21,640
Speaker 3: Just your energy and in your presence alone is going

1340
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:25,240
Speaker 3: to attract somebody. I'm sure you've been approached since you've

1341
01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 3: been here, have you? And and and let me tell

1342
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:32,320
Speaker 3: you something weird. I don't mind having kids and being divorced.

1343
01:09:32,360 --> 01:09:32,640
Speaker 2: I'm not.

1344
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 3: I'm not tripping on any of that because I'm divorcing

1345
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:37,879
Speaker 3: have kids who am out of judge. I think you're awesome,

1346
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:40,559
Speaker 3: and I think you're going to meet somebody, so that

1347
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,160
Speaker 3: ain't nothing wrong with you.

1348
01:09:42,400 --> 01:09:45,000
Speaker 7: I'm letting people know now, and I'm.

1349
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:47,800
Speaker 1: Letting y'all know she is single. Are you single men out.

1350
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:50,840
Speaker 7: Man. I'm just saying because I do see like what

1351
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:51,679
Speaker 7: I come through.

1352
01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:54,240
Speaker 1: I see the looks I've seen the people like, look

1353
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:55,080
Speaker 1: what she's saying.

1354
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:58,760
Speaker 4: Shoot your shot, don't just look at it's telling that

1355
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:00,639
Speaker 4: open there it is.

1356
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:02,360
Speaker 2: It's ma'am.

1357
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:07,080
Speaker 6: It's going back to when you were talking about grandparents' rights.

1358
01:10:07,400 --> 01:10:11,000
Speaker 6: I see a lot of older women raising their grandchildren

1359
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:11,439
Speaker 6: and everything.

1360
01:10:11,439 --> 01:10:11,960
Speaker 1: But those are the.

1361
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:15,760
Speaker 6: Kids that let their you know, just left their kids

1362
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:19,599
Speaker 6: with their grandparents. But why do you think it is

1363
01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:23,439
Speaker 6: such a struggle for the states or the course to like,

1364
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:25,000
Speaker 6: why would you why should you have to go through

1365
01:10:25,000 --> 01:10:27,000
Speaker 6: that struggle to raise your grandkids?

1366
01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:27,160
Speaker 1: Why?

1367
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:29,599
Speaker 6: I've always been curious about why is it a struggle

1368
01:10:29,640 --> 01:10:31,360
Speaker 6: for to raise their children.

1369
01:10:31,439 --> 01:10:34,840
Speaker 3: It's a struggle if it's a difference between a mother

1370
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,400
Speaker 3: and a baby mother.

1371
01:10:38,640 --> 01:10:43,880
Speaker 2: A mother shares the kids. My mother was a mother.

1372
01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:47,000
Speaker 3: She said, I feel like you'd be better off spending

1373
01:10:47,040 --> 01:10:49,439
Speaker 3: more time with your grandparents, because there's a man and

1374
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:51,600
Speaker 3: a woman in that household, in their middle class, and

1375
01:10:51,600 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 3: they do what they supposed to do. Gone a baby mama,

1376
01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:58,320
Speaker 3: if she don't like the son or the daughter, she

1377
01:10:58,439 --> 01:11:02,040
Speaker 3: don't like you, and so she would alienate the child

1378
01:11:02,120 --> 01:11:02,679
Speaker 3: from you.

1379
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:05,040
Speaker 2: This happened to my son.

1380
01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:08,760
Speaker 3: My son did not see his daughter the last two

1381
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:10,240
Speaker 3: years of his life.

1382
01:11:11,439 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 2: And then it trickled on to us to.

1383
01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:19,000
Speaker 3: The point where we had to ask the courts to

1384
01:11:19,120 --> 01:11:24,519
Speaker 3: help us. And sometimes that's the difference. Is some something

1385
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:26,280
Speaker 3: like I can get my two year old grand daughter

1386
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:29,559
Speaker 3: anytime I want, Wednesday, Monday, whatever, I Hey, work out, okay,

1387
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:32,240
Speaker 3: drop her off, Okay, meet me over here, whatever, whatever.

1388
01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:33,320
Speaker 2: It's easy.

1389
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:37,080
Speaker 3: But when you deal with somebody that that's like that,

1390
01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:40,920
Speaker 3: and sometimes we don't know whether it's narcissism, we don't

1391
01:11:40,920 --> 01:11:44,760
Speaker 3: know what it is, but they make everything hard and

1392
01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:49,120
Speaker 3: difficult and complicate it, and some people just say, hey,

1393
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:51,120
Speaker 3: forget it, I'll just get with them when they become

1394
01:11:51,200 --> 01:11:53,599
Speaker 3: old enough to drive or whatever.

1395
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:57,800
Speaker 2: And we miss out on the years of being a grandparents.

1396
01:11:57,800 --> 01:11:59,799
Speaker 1: So that's why my man's okay.

1397
01:12:00,240 --> 01:12:04,439
Speaker 8: But Ricky said something very profound years ago, and I

1398
01:12:04,560 --> 01:12:08,000
Speaker 8: follow that. He said, when you're down and out financially,

1399
01:12:08,240 --> 01:12:11,960
Speaker 8: emotionally or whatever kind of way, go help somebody and

1400
01:12:12,040 --> 01:12:12,920
Speaker 8: watch what happened.

1401
01:12:13,320 --> 01:12:17,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you for saying that, man, But I have

1402
01:12:17,479 --> 01:12:19,840
Speaker 3: been saying that for years, even before my son died.

1403
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:21,840
Speaker 2: When you feeling like you down and out, you don't

1404
01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:23,280
Speaker 2: have nothing or whatever.

1405
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:25,240
Speaker 3: Sometime when you go over and just be a blessing

1406
01:12:25,280 --> 01:12:28,040
Speaker 3: to somebody else, it gets you out of that situation.

1407
01:12:28,439 --> 01:12:31,400
Speaker 3: And God just over here working that out while you

1408
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:34,479
Speaker 3: over here helping somebody doing some community, whether it be

1409
01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:38,800
Speaker 3: community service, mentorship or whatever. But sometimes you have to

1410
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:41,479
Speaker 3: get away from it and next thing you know, when

1411
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:44,120
Speaker 3: you come back over here, God and got it all

1412
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:46,240
Speaker 3: worked out and all figured out.

1413
01:12:46,560 --> 01:12:48,920
Speaker 2: Thank y'all so much. I appreciate it.

1414
01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:54,200
Speaker 4: Ladarian rested suddenly into child protective Services in twenty fifteen.

1415
01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,479
Speaker 1: My nephew, black a boy.

1416
01:12:58,080 --> 01:13:01,600
Speaker 4: The likelihood have been adopted outside of hip slim to

1417
01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:07,400
Speaker 4: none Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy with five

1418
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:09,920
Speaker 4: years in the Falseter care system before I even knew

1419
01:13:09,960 --> 01:13:13,160
Speaker 4: his name. The likelihood have ever been adopted?

1420
01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:16,439
Speaker 1: Yep, you guessed it. Slim to none.

1421
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:21,040
Speaker 4: While Ladarian and OURMIONI were trying to survive and barely

1422
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:24,519
Speaker 4: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded false care system, I

1423
01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:27,920
Speaker 4: was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been

1424
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:30,160
Speaker 4: a single father with a daughter who at that point

1425
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:32,600
Speaker 4: was doing well in college. It was my time to

1426
01:13:32,640 --> 01:13:39,240
Speaker 4: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

1427
01:13:40,160 --> 01:13:43,519
Speaker 4: There are just too many of our black children stuck

1428
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:47,320
Speaker 4: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falter care system.

1429
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:51,760
Speaker 4: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast

1430
01:13:51,800 --> 01:13:54,200
Speaker 4: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

1431
01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:56,720
Speaker 4: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to

1432
01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:59,760
Speaker 4: adopt him also, and I O Babe. Starting over with

1433
01:14:00,040 --> 01:14:03,000
Speaker 4: yaranting should have been enough. Right, Working with various foster

1434
01:14:03,040 --> 01:14:05,880
Speaker 4: care and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the

1435
01:14:05,960 --> 01:14:09,280
Speaker 4: countless young Black kings and the foster care system should

1436
01:14:09,360 --> 01:14:10,880
Speaker 4: have decreased my agitation.

1437
01:14:11,040 --> 01:14:11,240
Speaker 1: Right.

1438
01:14:11,960 --> 01:14:15,280
Speaker 4: Joining the board of directors of Advantage Adoption and organization

1439
01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:18,519
Speaker 4: that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in false

1440
01:14:18,680 --> 01:14:20,839
Speaker 4: care should have led to some type of resolve.

1441
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:21,120
Speaker 1: Right.

1442
01:14:21,520 --> 01:14:25,599
Speaker 4: No, not at all. None of it felt like I

1443
01:14:25,680 --> 01:14:30,240
Speaker 4: had done enough. I now realized that every one of

1444
01:14:30,240 --> 01:14:34,439
Speaker 4: those experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1445
01:14:35,360 --> 01:14:39,400
Speaker 4: Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of

1446
01:14:39,439 --> 01:14:42,840
Speaker 4: the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

1447
01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:45,599
Speaker 4: be in the Dallas Fort Word Metroplex we will utilize

1448
01:14:45,600 --> 01:14:49,519
Speaker 4: the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to

1449
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:53,640
Speaker 4: advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and

1450
01:14:53,760 --> 01:14:59,000
Speaker 4: limitless options that they thought were impossible. Though the young

1451
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:01,280
Speaker 4: Kings will attend the low public schools that are in

1452
01:15:01,560 --> 01:15:05,200
Speaker 4: proximity to King of Royal, our at home curriculum will

1453
01:15:05,200 --> 01:15:08,880
Speaker 4: broaden their worldview through participating in the arts, attending various

1454
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:13,639
Speaker 4: cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted discussions about

1455
01:15:13,720 --> 01:15:17,880
Speaker 4: current events and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing them to

1456
01:15:18,000 --> 01:15:21,840
Speaker 4: gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our animals on

1457
01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:25,679
Speaker 4: our form and on site stables. We just launched our

1458
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:28,840
Speaker 4: startup capital campaign with the goal of raising two point

1459
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:31,360
Speaker 4: eight million dollars. Now why two point eight million dollars?

1460
01:15:31,960 --> 01:15:32,120
Speaker 5: Well.

1461
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:34,519
Speaker 4: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

1462
01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:38,479
Speaker 4: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

1463
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:41,000
Speaker 4: One of the most notable successes was that one of

1464
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:45,640
Speaker 4: the videos went viral, garnering twenty eight million views.

1465
01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:46,960
Speaker 1: However, one of.

1466
01:15:46,880 --> 01:15:49,320
Speaker 4: My biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single

1467
01:15:49,400 --> 01:15:52,680
Speaker 4: dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for

1468
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:57,320
Speaker 4: the homeless community. So throughout the years, with much remorse,

1469
01:15:57,760 --> 01:15:59,960
Speaker 4: I reflect and on not maximizing that moment.

1470
01:16:00,040 --> 01:16:02,160
Speaker 1: But I knew if at that time.

1471
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:05,240
Speaker 4: Just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

1472
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:08,759
Speaker 4: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

1473
01:16:08,880 --> 01:16:11,360
Speaker 4: that could have really established long term support for the

1474
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:15,760
Speaker 4: homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative.

1475
01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:16,559
Speaker 1: To do so.

1476
01:16:16,600 --> 01:16:21,280
Speaker 4: This is my do over, this is our new beginning. Together,

1477
01:16:21,560 --> 01:16:24,879
Speaker 4: we can attack this at the route by specifically helping

1478
01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:29,880
Speaker 4: our homeless black boys who are already disproportionately represented in

1479
01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:31,840
Speaker 4: the American fossil care system.

1480
01:16:32,160 --> 01:16:33,400
Speaker 1: I'm the Terisar Whickfield.

1481
01:16:33,400 --> 01:16:36,840
Speaker 4: I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work

1482
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:39,799
Speaker 4: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

1483
01:16:40,360 --> 01:16:44,799
Speaker 4: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

1484
01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:50,639
Speaker 4: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot

1485
01:16:50,640 --> 01:16:54,280
Speaker 4: com for more details Crown of King and make a

1486
01:16:54,320 --> 01:17:04,320
Speaker 4: donation today. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the

1487
01:17:04,360 --> 01:17:09,840
Speaker 4: Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently,

1488
01:17:10,320 --> 01:17:13,160
Speaker 4: and don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our

1489
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:16,560
Speaker 4: Dear Future WIFEI YouTube channel. We're available on Apple podcasts,

1490
01:17:16,560 --> 01:17:18,400
Speaker 4: Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

1491
01:17:18,680 --> 01:17:19,719
Speaker 2: Be welcome your support.

1492
01:17:19,920 --> 01:17:22,240
Speaker 1: Simply share our podcasts with your friends and family.