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Speaker 1: We were talking and I said, I'll be engaged or

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Speaker 1: married within a year or two.

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Speaker 2: That's what she said.

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Speaker 1: The last thing you said to me about that was Shyenne.

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Speaker 1: So you mean to tell me you just don't say

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Speaker 1: you can be made into you just gonna happen.

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Speaker 3: And I said yep. And he said okay.

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Speaker 1: I refresh Instagram and this negro and took my manifestation.

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Speaker 2: With you.

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Speaker 4: Tape it square up.

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Speaker 1: God, you delivered the wrong address.

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Speaker 2: Doctor Cheyenne Bryant is in the building.

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Speaker 5: You said that no matter what, you're gonna marry a

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Speaker 5: man that doesn't have kids.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I look at blended families as something that can

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Speaker 1: work and can be a blessing. My dad has six

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Speaker 1: of us five five women.

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Speaker 3: But it's a lot of work.

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Speaker 1: And two, it is definitely a polyamous relationship, not polygamy,

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Speaker 1: two different things.

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Speaker 3: People like to say, No, it's not watch this. A

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Speaker 3: family is me, you and a child.

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Speaker 1: And when she comes in, guess what we're blending her

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Speaker 1: with us.

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Speaker 3: I'm not doing it.

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Speaker 1: I want to be able to break this dysfunctional pathology

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Speaker 1: of these broken homes and broken families within our culture

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Speaker 1: and community.

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Speaker 3: And I don't want to just be preaching about it.

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Speaker 1: I want to be able.

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Speaker 3: To say, listen, mom came from.

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Speaker 1: Blended, but I made a very, very cognitive decision to

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Speaker 1: do it differently because I want to make sure I

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Speaker 1: broke this pattern and Mama did. And when it happens,

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Speaker 1: I only want it on his time. So if his

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Speaker 1: time made right now, baby, you can keep it. I

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Speaker 1: have master celibacy. I have master not having casual sex,

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Speaker 1: which I've never done. Anyways, I'm not sitting around here

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Speaker 1: and I say this, excuse my language.

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Speaker 3: Ask some horny told that just needs something to hump on.

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Speaker 1: I'm a woman who's very in tuned with how to

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Speaker 1: regulate my emotions, my appetite, and my body.

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Speaker 2: A lot of women you see on social media like

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Speaker 2: we have needs. When I hear a certain age, hormon's

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Speaker 2: going crazy, they're.

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Speaker 1: Going crazy right now, I'm trying.

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Speaker 4: To sit on this thing.

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Speaker 5: So my question is, you said, I've learned how to

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Speaker 5: master it. How have you mastered it? What started as

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Speaker 5: a search for understanding became a journey of transformation. Every

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Speaker 5: letter that I wrote led me to this day. The

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Speaker 5: day I got married November twenty second, twenty twenty five,

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Speaker 5: Dear my forever.

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Speaker 6: Forever is a long time. That's how long I'll love you.

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Speaker 6: Those lyrics echo through every fiber of my soul at

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Speaker 6: the very thought of you.

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Speaker 5: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 5: and the reward of my pursuit of love. You are

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Speaker 5: the award, the honor God placed before me, the recognition

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Speaker 5: of growth, healing and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 6: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 6: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 5: This isn't just our story, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 5: I'm the Terisaar Whitfield.

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Speaker 6: They are with Bilt.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to.

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Speaker 5: Welcome to Thear Future WIFEI Podcast. I'm your host of

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Speaker 5: Terry Sarwick.

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Speaker 4: Phil and I'm Ashley are with film listen.

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Speaker 5: Are you still shacking up with us? If you're still

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Speaker 5: shacking up with us, come on? Can we get a commitment?

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Speaker 2: Come on?

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Speaker 5: We are in season eleven, the sixth year of the

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Speaker 5: Dear Future WIFEI Podcast. We want you to make a

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Speaker 5: commitment today. Make a commitment today. Hit that subscription button

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Speaker 5: and subscribe. Make sure you turn on your notification bell

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Speaker 5: so you'll be notified about upcoming episodes. Listen, y'all absolutely

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Speaker 5: loved this woman when she was on the podcast prior

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Speaker 5: to now, she gets the chance to grace the Dear

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Speaker 5: Future Wifeie podcast set with my lovely wife Ashley. Welcome

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Speaker 5: to the diff Future WIFEI Podcast. My homie, doctor Shyenne

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Speaker 5: Bryant is in the building.

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Speaker 2: How are you doing care.

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be back, but I'm more excited

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Speaker 1: to be able to meet your wife, Ashley. Yes, you

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Speaker 1: and I have had conversations both in our in our

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Speaker 1: single hood about dating and what's casual, what's not, and

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Speaker 1: just even sharing some of our experiences of who we

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Speaker 1: were talking to at that time yep, and giving each

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Speaker 1: other a wise counsel and good advice. And I'm I'd

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Speaker 1: have to say, where's my camera? That my wifs counsels

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Speaker 1: was obviously very very wise because my brother found.

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Speaker 2: A wife, I got me a love love.

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Speaker 1: So the terrorists going in that that counsel I was

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Speaker 1: giving that Doctor Bryant caunsel must have been really good.

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Speaker 2: Well, I guess my counsel ain't working. I've been giving

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Speaker 2: you because you still ain't got nobody, so don't know

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Speaker 2: what I'm like, I don't know.

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Speaker 6: What it is.

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Speaker 4: I had to switch up. I said, let me, I

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Speaker 4: can't God, and I listened.

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Speaker 1: I know the Terrace is one of your vessels, but

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Speaker 1: that he ain't my messenger.

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Speaker 2: I say, listen, But I would tell you that I

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Speaker 2: just think you you you you hard to please.

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Speaker 5: I think that what you desire because, like you said

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Speaker 5: in the past, you've been proposed to and it no,

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Speaker 5: I ain't gonna say proposed to engage, because that means

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Speaker 5: you accept the proposal.

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Speaker 3: How many times I've been caught off two weddings.

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Speaker 5: You called off two weddings, and so that means that

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Speaker 5: it's something about you that men desire. It's something about

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Speaker 5: you that makes a man commit. But since that time,

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Speaker 5: you haven't even come close. And so I always ask you,

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Speaker 5: and I was like, I know these dudes be shooting.

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Speaker 5: They shot at you. I know you meet all types

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Speaker 5: of dudes, and all these dudes can't be bums. They

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Speaker 5: got to be some quality guys that you could really marry.

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Speaker 5: But to you, you're looking for everything to be checked off.

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Speaker 5: What is the biggest thing that you're run into?

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Speaker 1: So I'm not looking for everything to be checked off?

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Speaker 1: And you're correct. These men, including my fiances, were not

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Speaker 1: bums you know, and are not bums on great men.

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Speaker 1: My two fiances were great men. There was no infidelity.

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Speaker 1: I didn't leave because you know they were bad or

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Speaker 1: there was cheating anything of that sort on either one

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Speaker 1: of our behalfs. Some things just run their course, and

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Speaker 1: unlike some people, I have the ability to know when

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Speaker 1: it's time for me to pivot. Some folks, unlike me,

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Speaker 1: stay too long and they end up with some statistical

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Speaker 1: backgrounds such as being a divorcee, a baby mama, a

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Speaker 1: baby daddy. I've been grateful, by the grace of God

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Speaker 1: to no one to pivot and know when something it

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Speaker 1: has been seasonal, when it's ran its course, and when

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Speaker 1: this person and myself for them, happened to be either

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Speaker 1: great for whatever trauma bond was needed at that time,

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Speaker 1: whatever healing bond was needed at that time, but was

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Speaker 1: able to pivot. And you know what's funny is my

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Speaker 1: first engagement calling that off or calling the wedding off.

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Speaker 1: It was extremely hard because I didn't have no ammunition.

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Speaker 1: I mean, thank god, right, I didn't have no You cheated,

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Speaker 1: you dogged me, you abuse me. I didn't have that

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Speaker 1: to stand on and say, well, this is why I'm leaving.

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Speaker 1: I'm a stand on this. I just had to continue

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Speaker 1: to remind myself and stay in prayer that listen. It

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Speaker 1: has ran its course, and me and this man have

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Speaker 1: given everything we can to this relationship and it is

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Speaker 1: just time for to go our separate ways and acknowledge

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Speaker 1: that we are two absolutely amazing individuals that are going

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Speaker 1: to have to be amazing for somebody else. And I

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Speaker 1: admire myself and him for that, because again, I've been

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Speaker 1: in my field eighteen years and most people don't have

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Speaker 1: the band with the verticalness the backbone to say, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I love you, but.

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Speaker 3: We've given all we can.

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Speaker 2: How many years ago is that?

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Speaker 1: Well, my first I don't like the timestamp, but my

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Speaker 1: first wedding I caught off probably was about thirteen years ago.

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Speaker 1: The second wedding I called off close to eight years ago.

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Speaker 2: Have you been in any serious relationships in the last

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Speaker 2: eight years.

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Speaker 3: You be in my business all the time, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Business, future, all in my always my business. You join it,

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Speaker 1: I know, right, yeah, but I want to say that No,

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Speaker 1: So I have found again, you know, good guys, great

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Speaker 1: men who we have have you know, went on dates,

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Speaker 1: had great conversations, had good companionship. But you know, because

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Speaker 1: we've been friends for a long time, I'm not into

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Speaker 1: casual sex. I'm not into casual dating. So doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: I don't go out on talk on the phone, I

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Speaker 1: don't hang out. But I don't want to be on

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Speaker 1: a vacation or a trip with you if we are casual,

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Speaker 1: because I'm not trying to lead you on. And too,

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Speaker 1: I don't have plans on doing intimate things with you

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Speaker 1: on a vacation if we are not locked in you

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Speaker 1: want to go to.

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Speaker 5: A vacation with a god casually? How these dudes be like, hey,

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Speaker 5: let me just go fly you this.

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Speaker 3: You know what's funny.

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Speaker 1: One of the young men who I am talking to

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Speaker 1: now talking not dating, meaning you don't just talking, he

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Speaker 1: is like, I want to take you on a vacation.

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Speaker 1: I want to take you on a vacation. Let's go

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Speaker 1: to mikon No's. He's throwing out all the big all

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Speaker 1: the big want to go there, you know, and I do.

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Speaker 3: Want to go there.

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Speaker 1: And what I've explained to him is I don't want

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Speaker 1: to go with you because we're not there yet, And

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Speaker 1: you know, to maybe some people surprised. He was actually

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Speaker 1: extremely turned on by that.

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Speaker 2: I was about to say that.

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Speaker 5: See, for a man to hear a woman say that,

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Speaker 5: it says that you're not like the typical woman, because

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Speaker 5: a lot of women be like, oh, I'm taking this trip.

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Speaker 5: Matter of fact, a lot of women you doing that. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: they get fluid out, you know, they're taking free and free.

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Speaker 1: Trips exactly, and then they end up, you know, with

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Speaker 1: no ring on their finger and with unfortunately a disease

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Speaker 1: that they can't heal. Some you can't heal. But who

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Speaker 1: wants one either way? Or a baby that they're stuck

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Speaker 1: with forever? And I say stuck, not because the baby's

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Speaker 1: a mistake. Stuck meaning you are a single mother having

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Speaker 1: to co parent with a man who was going on

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Speaker 1: to more than likely do another.

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Speaker 3: Woman the exactly way, the exact way he did you.

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Speaker 1: And so, you know, I like to advocate for marriage,

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Speaker 1: for communion and for the you know, the sanctity of marriage.

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Speaker 1: But I also like to teach men and women that,

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Speaker 1: you know, let's not be codependent in choosing our partners.

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Speaker 1: Let's make sure we are interdependent and we are choosing

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Speaker 1: our partners from a place of is this God's will

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Speaker 1: for me?

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Speaker 3: One?

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Speaker 1: Is this God's timing for me too? And is this

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Speaker 1: not just a season that is preparing me for who

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Speaker 1: I meant to be with? And And so I think

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Speaker 1: it's a duality of understanding both. And when I look

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Speaker 1: back on both of my you know, ex fiancees, great men,

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Speaker 1: But with all due respect, I wouldn't.

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Speaker 3: Want to be married to neither one of those things.

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Speaker 3: Right now.

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Speaker 1: I mean who I am and and the woman i've

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Speaker 1: you know, I've you know, matured into and evolved in

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Speaker 1: those men played a big role in that. And I

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Speaker 1: am a better woman and will be a better wife

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Speaker 1: and mother because of our six years, our five years

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Speaker 1: together and the experiences that we got. And what I

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Speaker 1: love most is there was no dismantling when it came

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Speaker 1: to cheating. And I don't say infidelity because I believe

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Speaker 1: infidelity is kept for marriage.

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Speaker 3: So I want to say cheating.

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Speaker 1: Yea, yeah, I do. I always kept for marriage, and

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Speaker 1: so you know, there was there was none of that, but.

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Speaker 3: It was definitely.

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Speaker 1: Just having to be able to say, listen, God, is

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Speaker 1: is this what am I supposed to pivot? Am I

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Speaker 1: supposed to stay? I feel like I have given every

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Speaker 1: I'm on e. We both gave everything we have. And

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Speaker 1: for me, my God said pivot. And one thing about

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Speaker 1: me is like the Bible says, when God orders my steps,

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Speaker 1: I moved swiftly. I'm not taking my time when he

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Speaker 1: says move, I'm not listening to outside chat. I don't

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Speaker 1: care what you or anybody else, as my obedience is

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Speaker 1: to God, not to y'all.

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Speaker 7: And so if he says move, I got to move

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Speaker 7: in both situations. Then how did so did you originally

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Speaker 7: hear from God?

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Speaker 1: Did God tells Oneness.

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Speaker 2: About saying six years to tell you?

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Speaker 1: Some did in the beginning?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 7: You said yes to these proposals? I didn't you heard

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Speaker 7: from God that you should say yes? Or did you

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Speaker 7: hear from doctor Bryan?

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Speaker 1: No, so I heard from Cheyenne because I wasn't a

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Speaker 1: doctor back then, Okay I was.

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Speaker 6: I was.

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Speaker 1: I was twenty one years old. So from twenty one

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Speaker 1: year old abandoned a lot of trauma that I was

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Speaker 1: just trying to heal. Cheyenne that this is the guy

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Speaker 1: that you can heal bond with the reason why I

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Speaker 1: don't say trauma bond with my first fiance is because

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Speaker 1: I really believe that we were a blessing to each other.

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Speaker 1: But from he's not here to speak on his behalf.

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Speaker 1: But for me, he was such an innocent, loving young

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Speaker 1: man who came in and all he wanted to do

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Speaker 1: was love the hecatemy and he loved all of my inadequacies,

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Speaker 1: all of my abandonment. He loved and licked my wounds.

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Speaker 1: I mean he he was exactly what in hindsight, I

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Speaker 1: needed as a young twenty year old girl who was

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Speaker 1: trying to, you know, figure out all these moving parts

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Speaker 1: of my brokenness. And through him, I was able to

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Speaker 1: really externalize a lot of my pain and my trauma

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Speaker 1: without judgment. Through him, I experienced God's essence of love,

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Speaker 1: of grace, of you know, no judgment for how I

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Speaker 1: showed up.

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Speaker 3: And it changed me.

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Speaker 1: It didn't change me because he told me, if you

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Speaker 1: don't change, I'm leaving. It changed me because he told me,

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Speaker 1: no matter what you do or how you move, or

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Speaker 1: if you never ever become different, I love you and

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Speaker 1: I'm not going nowhere For an abandoned little girl, That's

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Speaker 1: everything that little girl needed. And God knew that whether

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Speaker 1: I heard him or not, because see, we can't miss

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Speaker 1: what God has for us. So even if I didn't

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Speaker 1: hear him, I'm in his will because as a young girl,

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Speaker 1: I mean like a little girl, I remember telling God,

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Speaker 1: you have the authority to close any door, open any door,

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Speaker 1: and get rid of any decision I make. I'm giving

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Speaker 1: you the authority to overpower me with your will. I

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Speaker 1: don't need to make the wrong decision. I don't need

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Speaker 1: to figure it out. You have the authority. And I

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Speaker 1: know for sure God heard me because in that relationship,

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Speaker 1: I experienced God's love and peace like I never have.

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Speaker 1: And at the end, what's so beautiful is that man

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Speaker 1: never had.

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Speaker 3: To really chestise me.

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Speaker 1: When I say chest sized, not an abusive way, I

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Speaker 1: mean like in a boundary way of like you gonna

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Speaker 1: stop this, this is not what we're doing. God allowed

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Speaker 1: me to see myself in that relationship, and I came

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Speaker 1: to myself like the Bible said, and I came to

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Speaker 1: that man.

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Speaker 3: I said, you know what, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry that my trauma has externalized like this. I'm

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Speaker 1: sorry that my trauma may have abused you in ways.

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Speaker 1: Even if it's not physically, trauma is abusive, and it

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Speaker 1: is ugly, and it is painful, and I just said,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I just would never emasculate you again.

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Speaker 3: And I'm committing to that.

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Speaker 1: And it was the coming to myself and his ability

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Speaker 1: to just facilitate me. And it's a god because we

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Speaker 1: were only we were in our twenties. There's no way

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Speaker 1: that young man knew how to facilitate the shish I

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Speaker 1: was bringing. Trust me.

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Speaker 3: That was God.

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Speaker 1: And about a year and a half before we left, Ashley,

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Speaker 1: I have to tell you, he said my FIANCEA. At

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Speaker 1: the time, I said, I was saying, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: time to pivot, it's time to separate. And he looked

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Speaker 1: at him and he said, you know what, I was

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Speaker 1: a buffer for you. He said that the terrorist. He said,

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Speaker 1: I was a buffer for you. He knew, he knew,

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Speaker 1: and you know what, I got so offended for him.

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Speaker 1: I said, no, no, no, don't say don't say that,

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Speaker 1: because I felt like, see, I didn't have I didn't

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Speaker 1: have insight like I do now. I felt like he

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Speaker 1: was belittling himself. No, he was in his anointment and

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Speaker 1: didn't even know it. He was saying I was a

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Speaker 1: buffer for you, and I'm like, don't say that. You're

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Speaker 1: amazing I love you. You were in a buffer, like, and

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Speaker 1: he's like, no, I was a buffer and I don't

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Speaker 1: have no problem with that. He said, when you leave me,

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Speaker 1: you were leaving me in a much wholesome, hilled place

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Speaker 1: than you were the whole time. And I thought like, like, dude,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but if I was you mad at God? Man,

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Speaker 1: hold on God, there's for the woman who I was

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Speaker 1: and this this young man was in. I mean we

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Speaker 1: both were, but age twenty two, fresh off the football field.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to be while you college graduate? I mean,

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Speaker 1: like the boy next door parents still married, had been

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Speaker 1: together since they were fourteen.

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Speaker 2: Is he married now?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 2: He still never got married.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the breakup was really hard for him, Like.

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Speaker 2: Ruined that man, go back and be a therapist and

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Speaker 2: go help.

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Speaker 3: Them restore something.

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Speaker 1: God says that he buries our sins at the depth

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Speaker 1: of the.

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Speaker 4: Sea, shows that his grace is sufficient. So you're gonna me.

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Speaker 2: Man, Man, he still never ever got married. You felt

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Speaker 2: he was an intentional man like that.

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Speaker 1: You want to know what's funny that you mentioned the

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Speaker 1: whole marriage and kid thing with him. I pray for

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Speaker 1: a lot of people, right, but I don't. I'm Emma

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Speaker 1: going to be honest and transparent, y'all. I don't find

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Speaker 1: it naturally in my heart just to pray for exes.

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Speaker 1: It's been I don't know, fourteen maybe years since I've

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Speaker 1: been with him or even seen him.

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Speaker 3: Do you know I still pray for that man to

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Speaker 3: this day?

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Speaker 2: What do you pray for?

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Speaker 1: For him to be happy, for him to have peace,

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Speaker 1: for him to have the wife and family. That not

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Speaker 1: just that he deserves how to blow his mind. It's

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Speaker 1: for him to be able to experience fatherhood, for him

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Speaker 1: to have everything he expected with me plus more. And

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Speaker 1: the reason why I do that is because I seen

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Speaker 1: his heart. Yes, I've seen his heart. Yeah, and his

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Speaker 1: heart deserves a heart.

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Speaker 3: That's like his.

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Speaker 1: And I want him to be able to experience and

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Speaker 1: see himself in somebody who loves him.

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Speaker 3: That's good deep.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I do, and I pray and I pray

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Speaker 1: for him. I'm talking about it. It ain't weirarly. I

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's weekly, Like if I even get a thought,

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Speaker 1: I just go into prayer over him, and I say,

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Speaker 1: he doesn't even know that I am still praying.

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Speaker 3: Well now he does years.

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Speaker 5: Now you might know that, so would you as much

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Speaker 5: as you care for him, would you hook him up

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Speaker 5: with somebody as you think that was aligned with him?

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Speaker 1: You know if I mean, yeah, I wouldn't feel any Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if God gave me the honor.

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Speaker 2: Of doing that, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And this is what's crazy, because a lot of

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Speaker 1: I've heard some people hear me say this and go, well,

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Speaker 1: you couldn't have loved him, And I say, no, sweetheart,

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Speaker 1: you don't know what love is, because when you really

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Speaker 1: love somebody, it's not selfish. It's not ego. Yep, you

394
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Speaker 1: know it's not. The Bible says it in Corinthians. It

395
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Speaker 1: is a really selfless love. And I like to describe it.

396
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Speaker 1: Although we don't have kids yet, but I like to

397
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Speaker 1: describe it because I have nieces, I have nephews. I'm

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Speaker 1: the oldest of seven. I raised my brother, my sib

399
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Speaker 1: my younger siblings. I like to describe it similar to

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Speaker 1: a mother's love for their child. I don't think loving

401
00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 1: your husband should be two different I'm not saying identical,

402
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Speaker 1: but it's different and real love, and I think the

403
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Speaker 1: universal love of I love you as my as my girl,

404
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,399
Speaker 1: I love you as as my as my guy friend.

405
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 1: When it's a real love, not just an attachment you

406
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 1: love for their best interests, and me loving him. I

407
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 1: want him to just have what I mean, I even

408
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 1: think like if I seen him walking down the street

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Speaker 1: with his kids, you know, and his wife, I would

410
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Speaker 1: hope she'd be okay with it, because I would run

411
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Speaker 1: over there and just I'd be like, oh my god,

412
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Speaker 1: he's so good, ladies, beautiful. But that's that's the real

413
00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 1: essence of loved and being loved. And so you know,

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Speaker 1: of course I'm going to be married, but I always

415
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Speaker 1: tell God, ah, you I experienced really being loved, not

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Speaker 1: being attached to, not just being needed because you're codependent,

417
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Speaker 1: not needing me to feed your trauma, but really loving me,

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Speaker 1: Like that's so good in my actor.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, but what about because we you talked so much

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Speaker 7: about your first fiance or ex fiance, what about the

421
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 7: second one?

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00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 2: Great?

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Speaker 1: You know, great guy as well, very different my first fiance,

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Speaker 1: you were how old for the second fiance thirty three

425
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Speaker 1: and he was fourteen years older than me. The first

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Speaker 1: one was my age, we were peers, and the second

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Speaker 1: one was fourteen years older. Okay, And so after I

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Speaker 1: left caught off the first wedding.

429
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Speaker 3: Although he was a really great guy.

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Speaker 1: You know, of course I came to God with some

431
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:30,240
Speaker 1: concerns and listen, guy, second time around, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be the breadwinner of the relationship. The first fiance,

433
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Speaker 1: he contributed, but he wasn't the breadwinner. I was to

434
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Speaker 1: the point where we'd go to dinner and I would

435
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:41,920
Speaker 1: have his back and make sure I slide him my

436
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 1: card so that he didn't feel emasculated. Right during dinner,

437
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,719
Speaker 1: he didn't feel, you know, less than or no one

438
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:49,399
Speaker 1: knew what.

439
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:49,880
Speaker 3: Was going on.

440
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:53,360
Speaker 1: But I had conversations with God leaving that and I said, God,

441
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Speaker 1: grateful for the experience. And I didn't get dismantled. But

442
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 1: I'm not taking care of no Negro.

443
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 2: Again.

444
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 1: Upgrade you know, I mean, well, to his defense, I

445
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,159
Speaker 1: don't well. I guess I didn't take care of him

446
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 1: because he did contribute, so I want to give him

447
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:11,560
Speaker 1: that right.

448
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 3: But I was winning the bridge.

449
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 1: I was paying to George of the bills, and I

450
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,639
Speaker 1: was in school with twenty six units a semester. I

451
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: was running an entire mobile legal company that I owned,

452
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 1: so I was moving and shaken and.

453
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 3: Twenty one. I bought my first house.

454
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: At nineteen years old. What bought at nineteen in the

455
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 1: city of Long Beach in North Long Beach, Let's go.

456
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 1: I bought a three bedroom, two bathroom house and then

457
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,679
Speaker 1: built a whole loft in the backyard and rented the

458
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 1: whole thing out and moved in with him closer to

459
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,399
Speaker 1: my retail store that I had. I had three retail

460
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 1: stores on Merrows Merros.

461
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, three retail store.

462
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 6: I was.

463
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 1: Actually, I have to brag about this show. I was

464
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 1: the first because I loved it. I was the first

465
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: and youngest black woman to ever own a store on Merrows.

466
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: It was a French owner and he said, he said.

467
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 4: How old are you?

468
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 3: I'm not renting to you?

469
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 1: Absolutely not what And I said, well, because I already

470
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 1: owned my house, right I want? I got me a

471
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 1: line of credit. Baby, He locked. I said, well listen,

472
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,080
Speaker 1: I said, what if I gave you six months up

473
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 1: for rent? He said, don't trust you get too young.

474
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 1: I said, I paid up for a year. He said, deal,

475
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 1: try the paper.

476
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 4: I said, shoot, we got a deal. I paid that

477
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 4: thing up for a year and let me tell you smile,

478
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,320
Speaker 4: she said one year.

479
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 1: You know, because you know what about French folks, They

480
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: rude and they don't play with all the respect. They

481
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,920
Speaker 1: don't play, and they to the point and I said,

482
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: I paid up for a year.

483
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 2: Man.

484
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 1: I went and got that he locked. I said, listen,

485
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 1: I need, I needed some mouth.

486
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:38,439
Speaker 4: I need.

487
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: I got that line of credit.

488
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 6: Wow.

489
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 1: Gave him his year up of rent. And then he

490
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 1: actually rented me my other two stores that he owned.

491
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 3: He's like, oh no.

492
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: At that point, he was like, no problem three. And

493
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 1: I was literally the youngest and the first black woman

494
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: to ever own a store on Merrod's Nick Cannon came

495
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 1: to my store back this is back in the day,

496
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 1: because he ended up getting a store around the corner

497
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 1: from me, and he was trying to buy the spot

498
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,840
Speaker 1: that I was in. So not a chance, brother, this

499
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: store is making money.

500
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 3: Not a chance.

501
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,360
Speaker 1: And so at a young age, I bought my first

502
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: house at nineteen, I had multie. I was telling I

503
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: had my own designer luggage and designer purses and bags.

504
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: Was called Chyen Nicole, which is my first and middle name.

505
00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 1: And I had this factory that was in Italy called Raviani,

506
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 1: and he made all my bags, cow hide, alligator, snake

507
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,399
Speaker 1: hold on stuff that we couldn't even ship to the US.

508
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 4: I know that's right. She was getting me.

509
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: I met him because I went to a boutique store

510
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: in Caesar's Palace, fell in love with this cowhi bag

511
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,000
Speaker 1: with stoves on it that I purchased, and I googled

512
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: in contact.

513
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 3: This is back when we had no social.

514
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:50,880
Speaker 2: Media, no nothing.

515
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: So I googled him and I said, hey, look, I

516
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,199
Speaker 1: want you to make my bags. I'm here in the States.

517
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 1: He said, not a problem. He starts shipping it to me.

518
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,679
Speaker 1: But my bags are going for like three fifty to

519
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,960
Speaker 1: five undred dollars. And then I would do VIP appointments.

520
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 3: You can come in.

521
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: I would shut the store down for two hours. You

522
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:06,160
Speaker 1: had a minimum that you had to spend. We serve

523
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 1: you food and champagne. Because I had a relationship with

524
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,919
Speaker 1: the restaurant around the corner. I said, when my clients

525
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: come in for VIP appointments, can we order for it

526
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:13,000
Speaker 1: from you?

527
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 3: We deliver. They said, not a problem.

528
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 4: We had the whole thing. Let me listen.

529
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 2: You were doing that back then the.

530
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 3: Terrace back then, and yep.

531
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 7: Were you always just like an entrepreneurial spirit, always aways,

532
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 7: always just why do you pick?

533
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,920
Speaker 5: You picked the most expensive place to try to start

534
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 5: a business for.

535
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 3: The first time because that was my favorite place to shop.

536
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: And I used to drive from from sam Pigia in

537
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 1: Los Angeles all the way to about a forty five

538
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: minute drive to Meyrolls just to shop at the boutique stores.

539
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 1: And Merros was much different back then. It was it

540
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: was more like a Beverly Hills type of boutique store.

541
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 1: And it was just the foot traffic was you get

542
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 1: millions of yeo. You didn't have to even advertise. And

543
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:57,680
Speaker 1: so yeah, once I opened up the first one, I yeah,

544
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna laughing, but I'm gonna say, I put my

545
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: I have my little gay boys who will be dancing.

546
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: I put them on the corner of that store and.

547
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:04,719
Speaker 4: They'd be voging.

548
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: I'm seeing they'd be voting on the corner of terrace

549
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,159
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, go girl, do your thing. And

550
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: then they said, we having to sell.

551
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 3: This is a true story.

552
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: And listen, y'all listen to my LBGTQ plus community.

553
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 4: Don't nobody sell. I'm my gay boys, saying, my gay boys.

554
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 1: They had my store with a line out the door

555
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: to try on stuff. I said, oh, and they'd be

556
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: in the store, Vogan. I didn't care, Ashley, she said,

557
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,160
Speaker 1: she's a mess, I am, and they were too, but

558
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 1: we have these the most successful high selling in store period.

559
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: You do that for how long?

560
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: For about three years, and then I shut it down

561
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: to go back to college because I was working forty

562
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 1: fifty sixty hours a week, you know, because no one's

563
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: gonna really sell like you do as an owner.

564
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 3: You know, employees are gonna do it.

565
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: I try to go on a vacation and you know,

566
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: the sales was half than they were when I was there,

567
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:08,399
Speaker 1: and so I close up shot. God engaged and me

568
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 1: and him and I moved in together and that's when

569
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,000
Speaker 1: everything you know started. But I was saying saying all

570
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 1: this to say, ask you to your question because it

571
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 1: was so great that I was telling God, I'm not

572
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: gonna be I'm gonna win the bread, but I ain't

573
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: gonna be the bread winner of this relationship. And God,

574
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: how he is, you know he hears you, and you

575
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,440
Speaker 1: know he hears our request. His promises don't return void.

576
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,120
Speaker 1: Doesn't mean our request weren't return void, but're not within

577
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: his will, but his promises don't. So obviously you know,

578
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: he kept his promising and let me go back because

579
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people who I want to be

580
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: really transparent with and for who I want to be

581
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 1: able to allow him to resonate with me. Not only

582
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 1: was did I talk to God, but I was mad

583
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,640
Speaker 1: at God. And there's a lot of people who are

584
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 1: mad at God now who've been mad at God, and

585
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: they feel a lot of guilt or shame, as though

586
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 1: you can't come to God in the image that he has.

587
00:26:58,320 --> 00:26:59,359
Speaker 3: He made you.

588
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 1: He knows the fool that you are. Seriously, he knows

589
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,239
Speaker 1: the spiciness that you have. He knows his child. And

590
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: I was very mad at God because of that long

591
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 1: relationship that I thought, being young with no insight, I

592
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,440
Speaker 1: had waste my time only to get to my age

593
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 1: now and go. That was a wealthy relationship that gave

594
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: me more than money could have ever. But my second fiance,

595
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 1: I'm retired basketball player, he who had two kids. This

596
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: is gonna get good. Two kids, two beautiful kids by

597
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: two different women. And so I did experience that already.

598
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,400
Speaker 4: He here retired and he didn't have money.

599
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,240
Speaker 7: No, he was retired. He took full care of me.

600
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 7: Oh okay, that was the one. So the first one

601
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 7: the money. The second one is not broken.

602
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 2: After prayer, as God.

603
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: Yes, I prayed. I prayed, and God said, okay, yes,

604
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,159
Speaker 1: all right, no problem. Good And you know, and I

605
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: asked for that and asked for a little bit more

606
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 1: alpha and he can't. I'm not playing. He came six

607
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: a two for a little more alpha. And I was

608
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: a kept woman. When I tell you, y'all, two hundred

609
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 1: and forty pounds, let me keep going. That's in six

610
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:14,719
Speaker 1: eight two forty. Hey, I was climbing at you you

611
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:21,480
Speaker 1: can wear hills. How he took full care of me.

612
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 1: I was a cat woman. So when I tell you,

613
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 1: God delivered.

614
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 3: To the t.

615
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: And it's why I'm so careful about what I pray for,

616
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: because I you know, like the Bible says, he who

617
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 1: speaks to the mountain without no doubt will move it.

618
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 1: He who speaks with no doubt will have whatever shall

619
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: have whatever they say, long as there's no doubt in

620
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 1: you speaking to it. And the mountain is not a mountain,

621
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: it could be an obstacle, it could be a prayer.

622
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 3: And I have a conviction about.

623
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: Me when I speak, and I understand that. So even

624
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 1: when I'm praying, I'm praying with conviction because I'm believing it.

625
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 3: Even before I'm praying for it.

626
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 1: I'm really just praying for God's confirmation for me to

627
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: kind of for me to run it through God. But

628
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: synthayonce and I was a kept woman, took full care

629
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: of me, and I thought, wow, I thought I would

630
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 1: love being kept more than I loved falling in love

631
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 1: with me, becoming a submissive woman for the first time,

632
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: and becoming domesticated for the first time.

633
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 3: And I was like, I'd love.

634
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: Being kept, but me having the honor and privilege to

635
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,640
Speaker 1: be able to submit to him, cook for him, be

636
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 1: domesticated to him, to be able to serve him in

637
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: ways that I had never served a man, because you know,

638
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: my earlier relationship we were more like in college collegiates

639
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: together and this was more of an adult relationship who

640
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: had grown men demands and I fell in love with

641
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: all of the demands and I fell in love with

642
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 1: what kind of women those demands created in me. And

643
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 1: so again, preparation right for the husband. Do you guys

644
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: live together? We did? We lived together? Okay, yep, yeah,

645
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 1: we lived together. We were engaged. Lived together I for

646
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: the first time, which I liked. I had a big

647
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 1: house with my family in it. I moved out of

648
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 1: my house into his place, his home, and allowed him

649
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: to cover and care for me, and I did my part.

650
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 3: It was equally yogman.

651
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,040
Speaker 1: He provided and I made sure he was well taken

652
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: care of domestically, and it was.

653
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: It worked out well.

654
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: And so yeah, until it didn't, Yeah, yeah, until it did.

655
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 2: Pray fast God to bring she still, and.

656
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 3: Then I prayed for God to go in and.

657
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 4: Get me up. Paut of then you know so, so

658
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 4: you would have waited to move in with him?

659
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: No, do you have a problem moving in with people?

660
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 1: Huh? Before marriage?

661
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: When you talk about people, I'm talking about people, your

662
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: relationships with. You don't see a problem with cohabitation.

663
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 3: No, I don't.

664
00:30:56,800 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 1: I'm not advocating for it. Okay, people should do what

665
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: they believe is right. I'm saying for myself, I did

666
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: it and had no problem with it. What I do

667
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 1: it now at this age, maybe not move in together,

668
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: spend a lot of time together, like we can have

669
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: keys to each other's house and drawers and things of

670
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 1: that sort. But but but, and not only yeah, nice

671
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 1: your style home with my initials in my pool. But

672
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 1: in addition to that, once I move, once we move in,

673
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,360
Speaker 1: this time it anybody moving out. And that's what I

674
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 1: love about taking these years of solitude for God to

675
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: just have his way with me.

676
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 2: Would you have a problem with your husband moving in

677
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 2: with you.

678
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 1: I would not be comfortable because my mom is there,

679
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: my family's there, so I'm the bread one.

680
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 3: I take care of a family. Yeah, thank God, I.

681
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: Love I love them there. Listen, my mama cooks and clean.

682
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: I don't touch anything. I don't touch a broom. I

683
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: don't I don't have to cook. She when I get

684
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: up to go in my office for sessions, there is

685
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 1: coffee just how I like it on my desk. And

686
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: then she says, baby, what do you want for breakfast?

687
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: Like I'm at a restaurant. Oh honey, she mama. Mama

688
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: is staying. Okay, my man can come in, like you know.

689
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: I've had guys that I had a guy I was dating, dating,

690
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: very exclusive with come spend nights at my house, but

691
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 1: moving in. I would feel some type of way about

692
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: a man who wants.

693
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 3: To move in with me and my mother.

694
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: Maybe it was just me by myself differently, but let

695
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 1: me say this. If him and I were purchasing or

696
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 1: building a home together and in the interim of that,

697
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 1: he said, oh yeah, and this is the thing. Once

698
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: him and I are married, he definitely will have a

699
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: key and full access to.

700
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 3: My home with your family.

701
00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:58,560
Speaker 1: It won't be my mom's there. You can't have a key. No. Now,

702
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,840
Speaker 1: this is our home for you, you to enjoy. You

703
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 1: can come, get in the pool, in the sauna, whatever

704
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 1: you want to do, baby, like you know, mom will

705
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 1: cook and clean for you too.

706
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 3: She's that type of mother.

707
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 1: She will, you know, So he gets full access.

708
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: Breakfast was over, Actually, what do you want?

709
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 4: Do you want this?

710
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: You want tacos?

711
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 3: Yes?

712
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 1: Hey, momma, My mom is Mexican and Creole.

713
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 7: She got the best of both words New Orleans Creole

714
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 7: or New Orleans Creole.

715
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 1: French and speaks fluent French and in broken English before

716
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 1: she passed.

717
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: Oh well, yeah, it was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

718
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 5: So you know, I've just been over here praying and

719
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 5: asked some guy to because I'm just interested in seeing

720
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 5: who you choose.

721
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: And you know what's funny, I don't, I don't can't

722
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: time stamp it. But a couple of years ago we

723
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: were had we talked a lot about relationship, yeating all

724
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: day but healthy debates.

725
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, not arguments.

726
00:33:58,680 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 2: She'd be thinking.

727
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 5: I'd be only just then. I used to be like this,

728
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 5: I'll be I'll be listening what you're saying.

729
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: And then you know, then what I love is that

730
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:11,719
Speaker 1: la Teris will respectfully tell you exactly you know, his

731
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 1: counsel my opinion on it. Yeah, he don't care if

732
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 1: it make you mad. Yeah, And he nod in a

733
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 1: tone that that is is disrespectful, not at all. But

734
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 1: he's saying it in words you don't want to hear. Yeah,

735
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: and he goes he gonna stand on it. Yes, Yes,

736
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: And that's why I don't be calling him for months sometime. No,

737
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:39,000
Speaker 1: my baby, I even followed your Instagram a few times.

738
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm following you back though, pack me back Instagram friends.

739
00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 1: But I don't want to say this because we were

740
00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: talking and I said, no, look, i'll be, I'll be.

741
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 1: I'll be engaged or married within a year or two.

742
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 2: That's what she said.

743
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: And I remember the last thing you said to me

744
00:34:54,680 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: about that was Chyenne, just like it's gonna talk Hyenne.

745
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 3: So you mean to tell me? So you mean to

746
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 3: tell me? You really think you just gonna say you're

747
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 3: gonna be made into you just gonna happen.

748
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 4: Remember that, And I.

749
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 3: Said yep, And he said okay, okay, when was this?

750
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 1: Okay?

751
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 4: And we off the phone two years ago.

752
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: This was two years ago. I refresh Instagram and this

753
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: negro then took my manifestation.

754
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 5: A problem with you.

755
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: So now that I'm here, when we done tapeing square up,

756
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: you took my prayer, you took my man God, you

757
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 1: delivered the wrong address.

758
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,880
Speaker 4: We're gonna have to redeem this, Okay.

759
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 5: I said, you're just gonna say that, And then the

760
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,880
Speaker 5: next year I end up saying that January of September

761
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 5: twenty twenty four, I said, by the end of the

762
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 5: next year, I'm gonna be married. But the thing about

763
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 5: it is this though I am, which we were talking

764
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 5: about because you me and you we always debate the fact.

765
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 5: You say that no matter what, you're gonna marry a

766
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 5: man that doesn't have kids. That is your standard, that

767
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 5: is your requirement.

768
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 2: That is just what it is. That's a core value

769
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: of yours. Just that deep. And I said, Shyanne, like,

770
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 2: you can meet a lot of amazing men.

771
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 5: And I kept telling you date a man in your

772
00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 5: twenty eight twenties or something you like listen, this is

773
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:22,800
Speaker 5: what I want a man that don't have kids. And

774
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 5: I kept saying, I just want to because see, I

775
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 5: like to hear what people say.

776
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 2: It's not that I'm You're not missage, I'm not pessimistic.

777
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 2: It's just saying that, in the reality of the type

778
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 2: of guys that I believe that would be most suitable

779
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 2: for you, as somebody that has lived that had that

780
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 2: or whatever, you can meet a great guy that is

781
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 2: that and just so happy he has a kid.

782
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:46,839
Speaker 5: Doesn't mean I to have a little kid. You can

783
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,439
Speaker 5: have a kid that's grown with. You tried dating guys

784
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 5: with older kids, and you just said, just not gonna work.

785
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 5: And I'd be like, these a good guy, Shayne, I

786
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,840
Speaker 5: used to tell you. I'd be like, they're good, just

787
00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 5: please just give them a chance further than just this.

788
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 5: And you're like, I'm trying, but and it's a butt.

789
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,760
Speaker 1: But remember date, I was engaged to my ex fiance

790
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 1: kids to adult girl in their twenties. So there was

791
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 1: never in and there was never, to his defense, ever

792
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: any baby mama drama.

793
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 3: They were grown right.

794
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 5: I said, how do you experience that and still feel

795
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 5: the way you feel? And you said this because I

796
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 5: wanted to be about me when I get with a man,

797
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 5: and it's that if he has a decision to go

798
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 5: to his daughter or go be there for me, I

799
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,880
Speaker 5: want to make them have to make that decision.

800
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:33,880
Speaker 1: And because if he chooses me, I'm going to have

801
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 1: a problem, because as a parent.

802
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 2: You should choose a child. But if you choose a child,

803
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 2: you have a problem.

804
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 6: So no, no, no.

805
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: If he chooses a child, then it sits right with

806
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,080
Speaker 1: my value system, but it doesn't sit right with the

807
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,800
Speaker 1: kind of relationship dynamic I want. I don't want a

808
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,280
Speaker 1: man who has to choose. If he's going to choose,

809
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 1: it's between me and our kids or our kids and me,

810
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 1: which still means and when I look across the room,

811
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 1: I want to be able to look across the room

812
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,000
Speaker 1: at my husband and our son or our daughter.

813
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 6: And go, dang.

814
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 1: I just love the way he parents them, like, oh

815
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 1: my like I want to fall more in love over

816
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: and over again every time I see him educate, discipline, love,

817
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 1: on laugh.

818
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 3: My son sits like him. I want to be like that.

819
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 1: That's how his daddy sits, That's how my husband sits.

820
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 1: But you just like your daddy in a positive way.

821
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,879
Speaker 1: I want to see my daughter, you know, experience things

822
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 1: with boys and and come and talk to me, because

823
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: I give wise counsel. But say, I gotta go talk

824
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 1: to my daddy and I want to look at her

825
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: and say, Mammy gets it because I was a daddy's

826
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 1: girl too.

827
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 3: Go talk to daddy.

828
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 6: Talk.

829
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 4: How many kids do you want?

830
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 3: I want? Okay, so I started off.

831
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 2: Started off.

832
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 4: I started off one, four, You started off.

833
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 6: Reasons.

834
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,759
Speaker 7: I would take the Brady bunch as long as it's

835
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 7: an even number. I have always wanted an even number

836
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,959
Speaker 7: of kids. I always felt like that no one would

837
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:57,560
Speaker 7: get left out.

838
00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 3: Yeah.

839
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: Yes, So now now whatever God gives me, right, But

840
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 1: now I'm like, well, I don't mind doing to a

841
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:10,240
Speaker 1: girl and a boy. Or if God blesses me with twins,

842
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 1: and then I can get pregnant again with one. If

843
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: one set one pregnanty can be twins. Yeah That's what

844
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm saying, you know, But but the hopes is because

845
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: you know, economically I can afford a big family, and

846
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 1: the man that I'm planning to choose will also be

847
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 1: able to economically afford a big family.

848
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 3: And so I come from seven of us. I'm the

849
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,279
Speaker 3: oldest of seven. I'm the oldest of.

850
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 1: The oldest, five girls and two boys.

851
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 3: I'm the oldest.

852
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 6: Wow.

853
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: Yes, And I'm like and I'm the big mama oldest.

854
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm not like the big sister. There's eleven year age different,

855
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: there's a twenty year age difference. I'm the I'm like

856
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 1: the mama's sister that they say, sis, you know, we

857
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: love you and you are the most dependable.

858
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 7: But says you don't play and I don't, but ask

859
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,880
Speaker 7: you because you come from a big family. You've got

860
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:05,760
Speaker 7: this big house. You can financially provide for a family.

861
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 7: And your initial desire. You talked about not settling, right,

862
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 7: you said your initial desire was to have four kids. Yes, right,

863
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 7: I don't know where you are in your fertility journey.

864
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 7: We talk about I froze my eggs. That's how we met,

865
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 7: you know, et cetera.

866
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 3: He prayed for your eggs.

867
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 6: Yes, and he.

868
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 4: Tell me, right, get our beds.

869
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 7: But I but I just know that as we as

870
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,919
Speaker 7: women get older, right, if we wanted to have four kids,

871
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 7: sometimes we're shrinking that because we're saying, okay, well, if

872
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,640
Speaker 7: I was twenty, I would still what I have four

873
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 7: Now thirty, maybe I'm gonna.

874
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: Have you know whatever, whatever.

875
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 7: So all my question to you then is you said

876
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 7: men can't have any kids, but if you meet a man, yes, right,

877
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 7: and God says, Shyenne, I'm only going to give you

878
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 7: two kids. But this man had two kids, which is

879
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,759
Speaker 7: what you originally wanted. Not settling for where you are

880
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 7: because maybe you know time you know was ticking. Why

881
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 7: in your heart do you feel like those couldn't be

882
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 7: your kids or you couldn't open up your heart to

883
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 7: receive them as such and to see that God maybe

884
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,560
Speaker 7: he fulfilled the promise, but it wasn't the way that

885
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 7: you thought it was gonna come.

886
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 1: Totally. I don't expect God's promises to look anything like

887
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 1: my ideology. By the way, I have already understood that

888
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 1: my relationship with God has surpassed that.

889
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 3: I don't want to say superfic, that not deep level.

890
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: But I don't like to call someone's relationship with God

891
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: superficials never supicial, but that kind of like not deep

892
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: level of understanding.

893
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 3: So I don't even listen.

894
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: I don't even think the man gonna look like anything

895
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,399
Speaker 1: I can even imagine, right, And that's why I pray

896
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 1: over a lot of who I'm talking to, who I'm dating,

897
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,320
Speaker 1: not even looking for a feeling on anatrashit.

898
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,080
Speaker 3: God, what are we doing? We're the steps.

899
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 1: Let me know, because you know I'm one of your children,

900
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 1: that I move swiftly. I'm not afraid to dive in.

901
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid to pivot. I got faith what we doing.

902
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: But no, that man, those children will not be my children,

903
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 1: So that wouldn't be something that I prayed for. I

904
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,800
Speaker 1: prayed for me to have kids that have my DNA,

905
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: my husband's DNA, and for us to collectively have a family.

906
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: I look at blended families as something that can work

907
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 1: and can be a blessing. My dad has six of

908
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 1: us by five women. Almost all of my siblings call

909
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 1: my mother mom, and she's not mom. My sister will

910
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: come down from work, stay at our home. My mom

911
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: cooks her breakfast, she calls my mother mother. My mom

912
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 1: makes her lunch for her to go to work. That

913
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 1: particular sister's mom is in her addiction and so she

914
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: doesn't have a relationship like that. She really really admires

915
00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 1: the fact that she gets at with my mom and

916
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,600
Speaker 1: my mom don't treat her little different. My mama will

917
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,120
Speaker 1: curse her out, go off on her love honor. If

918
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: I call them when I'm out of town. They my

919
00:43:07,200 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: sister's like, hey, sys, me and mom are getting a massage.

920
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 1: They do everything the same as my mother and I do,

921
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: and I love it. But I say that to say Blennett,

922
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,680
Speaker 1: families can work, but it's a lot of work.

923
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 3: One and two.

924
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 1: It is definitely a polyamous relationship, and people like to

925
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: not polygamy two different things.

926
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 3: People like to say, no, it's not watch this.

927
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 1: We have a family. I'm the wife and those are

928
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 1: his kids.

929
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 3: Well, last I checked.

930
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: Everything that comes with that man is a part of

931
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 1: what you're choosing and accepting. And if you can't choose

932
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:50,640
Speaker 1: that man and those kids the same way you would

933
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 1: choose him without them, you and the wrong relationship.

934
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:54,160
Speaker 3: Baby.

935
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,760
Speaker 1: Because when I was with my fiance and his girls,

936
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 1: there were some issues between him and his girls. I

937
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 1: used to call family meetings. For a woman who didn't

938
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 1: want to be with a man with kids, I call

939
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 1: family meetings and would have everybody sitting in that living

940
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 1: room in Indian style. His daughter one time said to me, Cheyenne,

941
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 1: this is not a therapy session, and I had to

942
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: buy my time before checking the hell out of her.

943
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:20,880
Speaker 1: So he had to come in and check her because

944
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: I'm trying to blend this family.

945
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 2: Was the mother of his keys there, you know?

946
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 1: To Jack, I said, to his defense, I never met

947
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 1: the mother, probably because there were dolls.

948
00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,200
Speaker 3: I never met the mother of those girls. But let

949
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 3: me go further. His oldest daughter would.

950
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,080
Speaker 1: Come and vent to me about her issues with her mother.

951
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 1: What would I do facilitate her hold space? Tell her

952
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: that's still your mother. You do not disrespect her from

953
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,840
Speaker 1: a mother's perspective. Let me tell you what she's probably thinking,

954
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: what she's probably feeling. So I made sure that what

955
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do in anything I commit to, you're gonna

956
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 1: get this commitment. You're gonna get all of what I

957
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 1: have to offer, which means I'm not going to commit

958
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 1: again to anything that I know I don't want to

959
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: offer or commit to. And that happens to be a

960
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: man in his kids, because once we're together, there are

961
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 1: is quick story. What I mean by representing the man

962
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,839
Speaker 1: and his kids, Me and my fiance at that time

963
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 1: were out and someone asks, do y'all have kids?

964
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 3: Well, the woman meant I knew what she meant. Do

965
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: we have kids.

966
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: So he said no, I said, actually, we have two girls.

967
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: And he looked at me, and after the woman left,

968
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: he said, Babe, I said, we have two girls.

969
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 3: And he just said wow. But that was me letting

970
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 3: him know.

971
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:49,800
Speaker 1: Whatever our pillow talk is about you having kids, this

972
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:53,000
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with these children, nothing to do

973
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: with them. If I'm in their world, in their life,

974
00:45:56,080 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 1: in their proximity, they gonna get the best of Chyenne,

975
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 1: even to the point where his youngest daughter's mom said,

976
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 1: she had my first book Mental Detalks, And the youngest

977
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 1: daughter's mom said, you know what, I really like that

978
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 1: woman for your father. But more than that, I like

979
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: her for you. I really she's a great role model

980
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 1: for you. I really like the way she is with

981
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 1: you and the conversations you tell me that you have

982
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 1: with her.

983
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:23,800
Speaker 3: And how do I know that?

984
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 1: Her daughter came back and told me. And so what

985
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 1: I'm explaining in that dynamic is very polyamorous. I'm still

986
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:39,760
Speaker 1: facilitating these girls an outside women who are still his family.

987
00:46:40,560 --> 00:46:44,280
Speaker 1: Their mothers are not that are not that man's family.

988
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,560
Speaker 1: A family doesn't consist of just marriage, that's a covenant

989
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 1: with God. A family is me, you and a child, yep.

990
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 1: And when she comes in, guess what we're blending her

991
00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 1: with us? Guess what I'm not doing it. You're not

992
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: blending me.

993
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 5: You're mad a blending family of polyambriate polyamorate people talking

994
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 5: about da.

995
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 2: Ain't what I thought we were doing. So when you

996
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,319
Speaker 2: say that almost sounds like the man is also still

997
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:14,799
Speaker 2: messing with.

998
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 4: The other one that.

999
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: I love that. I'm so happy you said is why

1000
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 1: you're my brother, because people will be in the comments

1001
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,399
Speaker 1: on this clip and say, but we ain't having such

1002
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 1: Polygamy is when you have multiple wives or husbands and

1003
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 1: everyone is engaging in relational stuff sexual stuff.

1004
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 3: You live together, it's.

1005
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:42,439
Speaker 1: A relationship together. Polyamorous just means that there are extensions

1006
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 1: of relationships that do not have to be sexual at all,

1007
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 1: but that are family relationships or even you know, dating

1008
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 1: relationships or monogamous relationships. But it is a relationship outside

1009
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: of your core relationship.

1010
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,760
Speaker 2: Right, But most people relegate that to also mean sexual winner.

1011
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 3: And it doesn't have to be that at all.

1012
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: So there's so many Like my ex fiance, he obviously

1013
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,839
Speaker 1: definitely not to my knowledge, was being intimate with any

1014
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 1: of these women's minds. They didn't even communicate like that.

1015
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:14,720
Speaker 1: But the fact that if we had a graduation.

1016
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 5: Or invited all y'all gonna be there. There's gonna be

1017
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,399
Speaker 5: all these women sitting right there with him.

1018
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 1: And if anybody walks in there and tells me that

1019
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: that is not family, they are crazy, because now you're

1020
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:31,439
Speaker 1: creating division with him and his kids and their mother.

1021
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: And I mean, if you sign up for that kind

1022
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 1: of relationship as a woman, you cannot sign up to

1023
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: divide it. Because if that woman needs to call you

1024
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 1: for an emergency, guess what, she got every right to

1025
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: cause you for her child, even if it's just something

1026
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,160
Speaker 1: she needs to talk to you about. When it comes

1027
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 1: to that child, that is just strictly respectful to your

1028
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 1: marriage or your relationship. I mean, technically it's your child.

1029
00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:00,399
Speaker 2: But the way I would do it is that she'll

1030
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 2: be talking to us, so she'll be talking to me

1031
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 2: and my wife.

1032
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,240
Speaker 5: And so it's interesting that you bring that up because

1033
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,000
Speaker 5: we just right before doing this interview, we stopped by.

1034
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 2: My daughter had a birthday. I told you my daughter

1035
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 2: had a birthday.

1036
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,479
Speaker 5: Dinner, and so we went there and then Ashley said,

1037
00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 5: this is the first time I'm gonna meet the mother

1038
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 5: of your child, well in person, because she met her

1039
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 5: on video call when Latia had her bridle shower last year.

1040
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 5: And so he says, first time I meet her face

1041
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 5: to face. Cool, met her face to face, and I'm

1042
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:30,400
Speaker 5: going to get a chance to even ask you, how

1043
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:31,200
Speaker 5: did you feel about that?

1044
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 3: I love that. I felt great.

1045
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was just a couple hours ago. So you

1046
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 2: felt great? Why?

1047
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 7: Because well, I mean it was the mother of Lateria,

1048
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:48,920
Speaker 7: Like she greeted me warm, she is happy about, you know,

1049
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 7: the beautiful growth of Latian. She made me feel right

1050
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:55,920
Speaker 7: at home and didn't feel any kind of way. Her

1051
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 7: other son is there, Like it was actually a beautiful

1052
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,640
Speaker 7: next to you talk to him about to talk to

1053
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 7: you know, her her son and really get to learn

1054
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 7: a little bit about him, and to see Tay's mom.

1055
00:50:08,719 --> 00:50:13,320
Speaker 7: It was a really beautiful moment to celebrate Lateria turning thirty,

1056
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 7: our daughter, our daughter turning thirty.

1057
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:20,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the mom's married, or she was married before

1058
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:21,400
Speaker 2: we got married.

1059
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:21,320
Speaker 1: You know.

1060
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 7: And I think you have to know the situation right

1061
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 7: lateris was seventeen years old. Okay, Like let's let's let's

1062
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 7: say what it is, because we have to talk about

1063
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 7: redemption with people because sometimes we want already made person

1064
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 7: that we think hasn't been through anything in life.

1065
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:41,880
Speaker 4: But God has allowed.

1066
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 7: Certain blessings to take place, especially when we talk about children.

1067
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,399
Speaker 7: Children like literally he says he knew them, He knew

1068
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 7: you before he formed you and your mother's and so,

1069
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,719
Speaker 7: you know, I had a mindset initially where I was like, well,

1070
00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:56,799
Speaker 7: I don't know if I'm gonna be ready for kids

1071
00:50:56,880 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 7: coming into.

1072
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 4: It, Like what do I know about kids? You know

1073
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 4: I have had any.

1074
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 2: Kids?

1075
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 6: I didn't.

1076
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 7: But the part of the reason was because, like you

1077
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 7: saw when Claire was born, I didn't even know how to.

1078
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,600
Speaker 4: Hold a baby. You know what I'm saying, Like, I'm like,

1079
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:10,880
Speaker 4: she is two days.

1080
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 1: We see and we're the opposite being the oldest of seven,

1081
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 1: And I had change diapers, I had took care of kids,

1082
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 1: I had combed hair, I had.

1083
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 4: Nobody baby.

1084
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 1: I was like, nobody has left me.

1085
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,240
Speaker 4: See a baby that young, I'm literally crying.

1086
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:30,319
Speaker 1: Yeah. My brother came home premature, three pound I think

1087
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 1: six ounces, and I helped ray.

1088
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 3: I was eleven, so I helped.

1089
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: Raise him and we had to wake him up to

1090
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 1: feed him every two hours, and he was in an incubator,

1091
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,800
Speaker 1: so I mean you're talking about I've been in this.

1092
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: I've been a mama bear all my life, and I

1093
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: take pride in it. And this is what's this is

1094
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: what's so interesting actually because I know not think, I

1095
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:54,319
Speaker 1: know for sure that when I become a mom, I'm

1096
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 1: gonna be great. But I would be the perfect step mother,

1097
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,360
Speaker 1: not for an adult child, because you've been doing that.

1098
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 1: You've been doing that for so a child, from discipline

1099
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: to nurturing to loving to you know, my life. My

1100
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: brother's thirty three and he still comes and gets in

1101
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 1: my bed, my California king and sleeps.

1102
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:14,400
Speaker 3: In the sheets.

1103
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:19,320
Speaker 1: That's my baby, right and so but that's how nurturing

1104
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:21,720
Speaker 1: I still am. And if my mom have any issues,

1105
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: they both calling me on two different lines, and I'm

1106
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 1: problem solving and I'm still reminding him and where I

1107
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 1: taught you, that's your mother. And so you got a

1108
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 1: respect her if you don't like it, set a boundary, baby,

1109
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: You can always set boundaries. You can set boundaries with anybody.

1110
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,800
Speaker 1: You just can't disrespect her. And he's very respectful. But

1111
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:42,439
Speaker 1: those are principles I taught him from a young boy,

1112
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 1: and so I've been raising But that's also I believe

1113
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:49,279
Speaker 1: why right, I've been raising everybody's kids, and I am

1114
00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,719
Speaker 1: thank you God. I've been honored to do it because they,

1115
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: I mean, they have blessed me in so many ways.

1116
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 3: But that's also why I.

1117
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:58,439
Speaker 1: Know that I deserve to raise my own and raise

1118
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: my own with my husband. And the other thing is

1119
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: God forbid. Right, Let's say I have one child with

1120
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,320
Speaker 1: my husband, and God forbid things don't work out, and

1121
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 1: he's not married and I'm not married. I'm having all

1122
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 1: my kids with one human being. So I would just

1123
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,000
Speaker 1: spend the block and call him and say, baby, neither.

1124
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 2: One of us are married, Let's have another kids.

1125
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,359
Speaker 1: Let's run it back, because I want to make sure

1126
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 1: when you come get one of these little jokers, you

1127
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: come get all of them. And I'm cold parenting with

1128
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:32,320
Speaker 1: one person. And I want to be able to, you know,

1129
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 1: even later on in life, as my kids grow up

1130
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,279
Speaker 1: and they get into their early adulthood, I want to

1131
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 1: be able to break this dysfunctional pathology of these broken

1132
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 1: homes and broken families within our culture and community. And

1133
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to just be preaching about it. I

1134
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:49,760
Speaker 1: don't want to just tell my kid, look at you know, Mama,

1135
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:52,520
Speaker 1: I messed up. I got three of them by three.

1136
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 4: You don't do what I want to.

1137
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:54,399
Speaker 3: Be able to say.

1138
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:58,560
Speaker 1: Listen, Mom came from blended your auntie and uncles, none

1139
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 1: of us besides two of us have same mom and

1140
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 1: same dad. But I made a very very cognitive decision

1141
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 1: to do it differently because I want to make sure

1142
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:09,320
Speaker 1: I broke this pattern and Mama did so I'm not

1143
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 1: holding you to the same standards, but I'm telling you

1144
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 1: that I worked my ass off to be able to

1145
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: make different and better decisions so that you can have

1146
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 1: a poster card, an example, a learned behavior of how

1147
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,799
Speaker 1: to do it. And that is possible because I came

1148
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,919
Speaker 1: from very humble beginnings. Obviously, I went from the hood

1149
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 1: to the hills, the inner city. Me and my parents

1150
00:54:31,239 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 1: are only sixteen years apart. They had me as teenagers,

1151
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:38,120
Speaker 1: and my mom is very proud that my brother and

1152
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 1: I have waited and that you know, we are not

1153
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 1: a product of the very statistical baby mama baby daddy pool.

1154
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 1: Even though she is, and she's okay with saying that

1155
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 1: she is. She made brag and say, but I was

1156
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: the first, and you were, and you were, But that's

1157
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:55,920
Speaker 1: her bragging rights. Right, she was the first, I was

1158
00:54:55,920 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 1: the first, Okay, but she also says, yeah, if I

1159
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: could do it. My father, who has six of us

1160
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:04,839
Speaker 1: by five, says, if I can do it all over again,

1161
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,840
Speaker 1: I will keep all my kids, he said, but I

1162
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:09,399
Speaker 1: would have it by one woman. When I meet men

1163
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,320
Speaker 1: who are keeping it real and not in their ego,

1164
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:15,399
Speaker 1: there tell you the real. They will tell you as

1165
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:16,239
Speaker 1: a man, m M.

1166
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,359
Speaker 2: Come on, they wish they had it by one woman.

1167
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 1: And I love when men can be out of ego

1168
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:26,960
Speaker 1: and say the truth about whatever they've experienced.

1169
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 3: And that's why I'm happy. I'm even happier.

1170
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 1: I waited to be of age. I wanted to have

1171
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 1: something to offer my kids. Besides I'm your mam. I

1172
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,680
Speaker 1: brought into the world in our in our culture like that.

1173
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:39,839
Speaker 4: That's just not enough.

1174
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:41,359
Speaker 7: It's just not enough.

1175
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 1: How a lot of people bring the people in the

1176
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,080
Speaker 1: world and and and they have allowed the world to

1177
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 1: totally consume their child and now they are worldly and

1178
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 1: there's no godly principles and these kids are running amok.

1179
00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:54,400
Speaker 1: You teach so no.

1180
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 3: I want to be able to say, listen, m M.

1181
00:55:57,719 --> 00:56:01,359
Speaker 1: I waited, I prayed over you for you you weren't

1182
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:04,279
Speaker 1: a mistake, and by time I got pregnant, baby, I

1183
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 1: wanted you and I couldn't wait.

1184
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:07,359
Speaker 6: I could.

1185
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,399
Speaker 1: I mean even when I meditate meditator day between when

1186
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 1: I meditate, sometimes I'm in meditation and I'm like picturing

1187
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:14,319
Speaker 1: myself giving birth, and as soon as the baby hits

1188
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 1: my chest in my meditation, I'm in tears. Because I'm

1189
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 1: not in tears because I'm afraid little girl who got

1190
00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 1: pregnant and I don't know how I'm going to do this.

1191
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,759
Speaker 1: I'm in tears because I'm an adult woman who have

1192
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 1: paid it forward already so my kids.

1193
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 3: Can have a different lifestyle and a different quality life

1194
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:29,480
Speaker 3: than I have.

1195
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 1: I have already taken my mother out of off of

1196
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:37,600
Speaker 1: the streets into a home and making sure that she

1197
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:39,359
Speaker 1: is well taken.

1198
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 3: The woman won't leave the house. We want her to

1199
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 3: leave the house sometimes so we can have our own time.

1200
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:48,280
Speaker 3: She don't leave the house. So I'm saying that to say.

1201
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:51,880
Speaker 1: I worked hard to have things the way that I

1202
00:56:51,960 --> 00:56:55,400
Speaker 1: know God has promised them to me, and he wouldn't

1203
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:58,280
Speaker 1: have had me put in this much sweat and tears.

1204
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:03,840
Speaker 1: You know, roller coaster, just dysfunctional childhood you know, a

1205
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,160
Speaker 1: lot of abandonment and going through that healing process and

1206
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: making such different decisions to change a trajectory of my

1207
00:57:09,239 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 1: family to just tell me, well, you know, because you're

1208
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:15,400
Speaker 1: of age and there's not a lot of men plural

1209
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: out there with no kids, then you should settle for

1210
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: what I say, because what God has told me in

1211
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 1: an interview one time, he said, why do they keep

1212
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: asking you do you think there? Do you think that

1213
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 1: you're gonna not be married because there's not men out there?

1214
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: He said, Baby, you told me you was waiting for

1215
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:35,600
Speaker 1: one man. And I said, amen, I'm waiting for amen, amen,

1216
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 1: not men. So God said, but see, so you're not

1217
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,920
Speaker 1: worried about how many men because see, I have a

1218
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 1: husband for you that's not plural. So I don't care

1219
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 1: how many men are out there with kids. I want

1220
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 1: them happy too.

1221
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:52,040
Speaker 2: Which have you ever got like? Okay, now these two

1222
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 2: years up are then named an and claim it two

1223
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 2: years and.

1224
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 1: Went back and you just still be like, because me

1225
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 1: standing vertical in God's promises to me is the epitome

1226
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 1: of showing him I trust you. It's a pitome of

1227
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 1: saying I've said this on your on your show last time.

1228
00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 1: It's a epitome of pit to me, of me not

1229
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:14,479
Speaker 1: being like Sarah. And I'm not knocking her, but maybe

1230
00:58:14,520 --> 00:58:16,760
Speaker 1: I am. But what I am saying is, you know,

1231
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 1: I don't everybody tell you this.

1232
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:18,800
Speaker 2: I'm not.

1233
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 1: I'm listening. You're not getting Haygar pregnant, Honey, Hagar. First

1234
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 1: of all, we got an Anthony that works for us.

1235
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:29,040
Speaker 1: It ain't even a Hagar. And we know Anthony can't

1236
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:32,360
Speaker 1: get pregnant when you're not getting hay Gar pregnant. Because

1237
00:58:32,440 --> 00:58:35,240
Speaker 1: I didn't have the patience to wait for what God

1238
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:37,800
Speaker 1: has already promised me. I'm holding God accountable to his

1239
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 1: principle that no promise returns void. He told me to

1240
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 1: be anxious for nothing to make my request be known

1241
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,440
Speaker 1: to him. I have no anxiety. I have made my request,

1242
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 1: and when it happens, I only want it on his time.

1243
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 1: So if his time in right now.

1244
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 3: Baby, you can keep it. Listen.

1245
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 1: I have master celibacy. I have master not having casual sex,

1246
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 1: which I've never done. Anyways, I'm not sitting around here

1247
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 1: and I say this, excuse my language. Ask some horny

1248
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 1: told that just needs something to hump on. I'm a

1249
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 1: woman who's very in tune with how to regulate my motions,

1250
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 1: my appetite, and my body.

1251
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:11,920
Speaker 5: So there's nothing over here because you're saying a lot

1252
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:13,400
Speaker 5: of this stuff and a lot of women you see

1253
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:15,600
Speaker 5: on social media like we have needs. When I hear

1254
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,520
Speaker 5: a certain age hormones going crazy, they're going crazy.

1255
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:27,720
Speaker 4: They like cy Right now, I'm trying to sit.

1256
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:27,880
Speaker 2: On this.

1257
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 1: Lords drink the wine.

1258
00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 2: So my question is you say I've learned how to

1259
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 2: master it. How have you mastered it? What are some

1260
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 2: tools that you do.

1261
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,520
Speaker 3: I meditate every day twenty minutes minimum.

1262
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 1: I watch the word whoever works for you and I

1263
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,920
Speaker 1: for me, for me as Bishop Jake's, it always has

1264
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 1: been T. D. Jake's, and you know then I have

1265
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 1: other folks that I try to get into, but it's

1266
00:59:57,280 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 1: hard when you come from from Bishop is really hard

1267
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 1: to find other wise, counsel who teaches the principles and

1268
01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 1: can talk to my soul and just in just the

1269
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:11,760
Speaker 1: gooden me. But I literally listen to a type of

1270
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:15,440
Speaker 1: word once a day. It keeps me aligned when I'm

1271
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 1: traveling and on tour, and I can skip two three

1272
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 1: days on accident because I'm moving, I'm busy, I'm traveling.

1273
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:26,120
Speaker 1: My whole spirit is agitated. My thoughts start to become

1274
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 1: not his faults, my ways start wanting to become not

1275
01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 1: his ways. And I say, you know what, Yeah, I'm

1276
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 1: starting to look at some of these, these these y

1277
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:41,160
Speaker 1: ns and not these yms, and I'm starting to have

1278
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:45,479
Speaker 1: some thoughts. I'm starting to want to return some text

1279
01:00:45,560 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: messages literally and I can, and I check myself and

1280
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:51,439
Speaker 1: I'll go, you know what, I haven't meditated in three days.

1281
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,439
Speaker 1: I haven't tapped into the word in two or three days.

1282
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:58,000
Speaker 1: And I will go into my own cubby sometimes for

1283
01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:00,200
Speaker 1: two three days, sometimes for a week straight, my mom,

1284
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 1: and then I'll leave and go get a hotel room

1285
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 1: for a weekend. And I'm literally on YouTube. I'm playing

1286
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,680
Speaker 1: NonStop Bishop Jakes when I'm working out, earbuds Bishop Jakes.

1287
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:11,000
Speaker 1: When I'm working out, or when I'm on walks or

1288
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:15,200
Speaker 1: on planes. There's some type of principle of the Word

1289
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:18,480
Speaker 1: that I'm listening to, and it's always right on time

1290
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:23,040
Speaker 1: for me. The other thing is, you know, faith is

1291
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:27,200
Speaker 1: really an action word, and surrendering to God's will. Isn't

1292
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 1: you needing to be certain about things, it's you being

1293
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:35,640
Speaker 1: very comfortable and very confident in the uncertainty. And so

1294
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 1: for me, I'm not waking up going okay, it's today's day.

1295
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 1: I'm going to meet my husband. I'm not walking through

1296
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:44,600
Speaker 1: the airport seeing someone who's handsome, who's looking at me,

1297
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:46,640
Speaker 1: and I'm going is at him? No, baby, I'm a

1298
01:01:46,640 --> 01:01:50,480
Speaker 1: little more like Ruth. I'm gleaning in the field. And

1299
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 1: when my bowl ass happens to look over and say, honey,

1300
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 1: that's her, I will allow my Naomi to tell me

1301
01:01:57,600 --> 01:01:59,880
Speaker 1: to go on to where he is.

1302
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 6: That night.

1303
01:02:08,080 --> 01:02:11,200
Speaker 1: Bo Ass didn't have kids, So we're talking about bow Ass.

1304
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:14,600
Speaker 4: Lay at his.

1305
01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 3: Feet and she asks him, will you cover me with

1306
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 3: your garment? That was her way.

1307
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 1: And this is what I love about the story, because

1308
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 1: you know he that finds a wife, he not she.

1309
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:31,880
Speaker 1: So he meaning the man, is to find the roof leaning.

1310
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:32,480
Speaker 3: In the field.

1311
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: Let me call the woman out for a minute. However,

1312
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 1: what a lot of women miss that. A lot of

1313
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 1: men are trying to say, They just don't know how

1314
01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:44,280
Speaker 1: to articulate it, so women catch it.

1315
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 3: So let me say it for you, fellas. Once you

1316
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:48,680
Speaker 3: know that man has found.

1317
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 1: You, either you be your own wise counsel or please

1318
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,120
Speaker 1: have a Naomi, be your wife's counsel that tells you

1319
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 1: this man has found you. Can you go submit to

1320
01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:00,960
Speaker 1: him and let him know that you want to be found.

1321
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 1: That part when she said to him, will you cover

1322
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:06,680
Speaker 1: me with your garment? That was her proposal to you.

1323
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:12,000
Speaker 1: Cover me, Yeah, cover me and it. And bo asked,

1324
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:15,400
Speaker 1: he said, there are other men who are who are

1325
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 1: meant to come before me. Look at the man of God.

1326
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 2: Because there was hierarchy, because he actually her cousin had

1327
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:24,440
Speaker 2: the right to actually marry her before him. So he

1328
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 2: went and said, let me go talk to your cousin

1329
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 2: to see if he's going to marry you. The cousiner.

1330
01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 2: I'm good. I don't want that, he said, all right,

1331
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:31,800
Speaker 2: well cool, I got it.

1332
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,520
Speaker 5: So he followed things in decency and order because after

1333
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:37,240
Speaker 5: she had lost her husband. When her husband died, then

1334
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 5: based on law Jewish law, then the cousin or a

1335
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 5: relative will be next in line to marry you.

1336
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:45,919
Speaker 1: And when we say ladies, get a man of God,

1337
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 1: we are talking about a man who's perfect. Yeah, a

1338
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 1: man of God is not perfect, No, he's just righteous

1339
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:54,200
Speaker 1: by his heart posture. That part, bo Ass said, let

1340
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:57,560
Speaker 1: me seek wise counsel and make sure I'm not out

1341
01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 1: of order, because if I'm out of order, we be

1342
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:00,640
Speaker 1: out of order.

1343
01:04:01,760 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 5: Plus in that moment, because a typical guy that had

1344
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:06,280
Speaker 5: this woman laying at his feet, he said, I'm gonna

1345
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,080
Speaker 5: smashes real quick and then I'm gonna go check and

1346
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 5: see what's up. But now you're gonna smash somebody else's wife.

1347
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. So he said, no, I'm

1348
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,240
Speaker 2: not gonna touch you. I'na do this. Let me go

1349
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 2: check with this first, and then make sure that it's

1350
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 2: okay for me to.

1351
01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:20,760
Speaker 1: Make He was able to able to govern his appetite.

1352
01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:24,080
Speaker 1: And man who can't govern himself can never govern his household.

1353
01:04:24,120 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 1: And you damn sure can't cover and govern me. That part,

1354
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,640
Speaker 1: that's what I love about bo ass. Not that he

1355
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 1: gave her his ownership of the field he took care

1356
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:35,120
Speaker 1: of And I like that part too. Don't beat that

1357
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 1: out of my bow, ass, But I said, I But

1358
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 1: I like that he consult it with God in the hierarchy.

1359
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 1: He knew it was supposed to go in meaning I

1360
01:04:45,480 --> 01:04:47,480
Speaker 1: want you. I wanted you when I seen you in

1361
01:04:47,560 --> 01:04:51,320
Speaker 1: the field. Yes, Ruth, I wanted you then yeah, and

1362
01:04:51,400 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 1: I let you know, I said, who was at No,

1363
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:55,919
Speaker 1: let her stay and give her, give her more week

1364
01:04:56,840 --> 01:05:00,439
Speaker 1: to take home, give her more. So I was being

1365
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 1: in serving you before you even knew I.

1366
01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 3: Was gonna cover you.

1367
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:08,720
Speaker 1: And when she realized, this is a good man, not Savannah,

1368
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:11,040
Speaker 1: because Savannah's man was married in that movie. I don't

1369
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 1: know why ladies say that's a good man, Savannah. That

1370
01:05:13,360 --> 01:05:14,120
Speaker 1: man was married.

1371
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 3: Stop saying that.

1372
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 2: I forgot that man was married. Huh isn't that movie

1373
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:20,480
Speaker 2: that man was married.

1374
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 1: Mama said, that's a good man, Savannah, and Whitney said, well,

1375
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:26,040
Speaker 1: if you want him. I ain't gonna say because I

1376
01:05:26,040 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 1: would never say that to my mama.

1377
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 3: But that was a married man. So no, it wasn't

1378
01:05:29,520 --> 01:05:30,919
Speaker 3: a Savannah man. It was a bo Ass.

1379
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,400
Speaker 5: I even realize you the first person ever to say that.

1380
01:05:34,560 --> 01:05:36,480
Speaker 5: When they say it's a good man Savannah. We quote

1381
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,080
Speaker 5: that and that man was married.

1382
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 1: In the movie.

1383
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:39,560
Speaker 3: That's why I don't say it, because you know you

1384
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,160
Speaker 3: you as a man thinking, so is he.

1385
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 2: Saying so much?

1386
01:05:47,480 --> 01:05:50,320
Speaker 1: I want to say this because relationships, not just marriage,

1387
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:56,240
Speaker 1: friendships too, their service positions, especially marriage. So the way

1388
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 1: bo Ass served her first in the field without even

1389
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:03,520
Speaker 1: give her more, she needs more weed, Let her stay.

1390
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,640
Speaker 3: I'm serving her. And then she in turn went in

1391
01:06:06,840 --> 01:06:08,800
Speaker 3: said I'm here to serve.

1392
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:09,640
Speaker 6: You cover me.

1393
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,360
Speaker 1: I just that story is. It's so that story is

1394
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:16,400
Speaker 1: not sexual, so sexy, two different things. It's so attractive

1395
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:20,440
Speaker 1: in the equally yokedness that God is showing us, that

1396
01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 1: obedience and discipline in him gets us and all that

1397
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:30,960
Speaker 1: lust stuff. To me, that is all of the lucifer

1398
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:35,360
Speaker 1: side of it. That is the detour, that's the disobedience.

1399
01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:39,280
Speaker 1: That's what Moses did. That's what Moses did because God

1400
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 1: told him, what speak to the rock. But you know

1401
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:43,960
Speaker 1: what's funny about that story, and really quick, I said,

1402
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:46,880
Speaker 1: it's because the first rock God told Moses to do,

1403
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 1: what strike it? He told him strike the rock first,

1404
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:53,760
Speaker 1: and water came out, and he did it right. He

1405
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:56,560
Speaker 1: striked it the second time. God said, now speak to it.

1406
01:06:57,120 --> 01:06:59,880
Speaker 1: You know what I love about that? That means that

1407
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 1: same rock, same need, different direction. And if we aren't

1408
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 1: listening to God at every juncture, every season, whether you

1409
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:14,560
Speaker 1: married or single, we are going to miss the obedience

1410
01:07:14,560 --> 01:07:16,960
Speaker 1: in it. And because of that, he did it right

1411
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:20,680
Speaker 1: the first time, but not the second time. He didn't

1412
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:22,920
Speaker 1: make it into the promise that neither did any of

1413
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,640
Speaker 1: the Israelites that he was leading. Watch who's leading you?

1414
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:30,880
Speaker 1: Because watch you has your ear, Because whoever's leading you,

1415
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:32,640
Speaker 1: you're also a part of.

1416
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:34,400
Speaker 4: Cay.

1417
01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:38,440
Speaker 1: Lib and Joshua got in because they believe. They said,

1418
01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:44,080
Speaker 1: the giants look like what grasshoppers see. That's big dog talk.

1419
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:47,080
Speaker 1: When I think about about my god, alpha old mega

1420
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:51,160
Speaker 1: omni president at the end between big this is what

1421
01:07:51,200 --> 01:07:52,840
Speaker 1: I'm saying when when you when when people say, do

1422
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:53,400
Speaker 1: I get weird?

1423
01:07:53,680 --> 01:07:54,680
Speaker 3: And what we're in well doing?

1424
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:58,000
Speaker 1: How can that's big dog talk? How can I goodlife?

1425
01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:02,000
Speaker 1: I got a slingshot, giants the grasshoppers.

1426
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:04,080
Speaker 2: Well because of the reality is because sometimes even as

1427
01:08:04,160 --> 01:08:06,920
Speaker 2: we age and we're seeing other people get married, you

1428
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,360
Speaker 2: see other people progressing.

1429
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,120
Speaker 5: A lot of women and I've had them on the podcast.

1430
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,920
Speaker 5: They're very transparent to be like, Man, I'm doing everything right.

1431
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:17,560
Speaker 5: I'm honoring God. I'm operating in celibacy and abstinence and

1432
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,840
Speaker 5: I'm operating. I'm doing all this stuff. I'm doing God's work.

1433
01:08:20,880 --> 01:08:23,720
Speaker 5: I'm over here helping He'll restore other people's marriages. All

1434
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:28,559
Speaker 5: the counsel that you're doing people, Yeah, have you forgot

1435
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:30,479
Speaker 5: about me. Here's your servant.

1436
01:08:30,960 --> 01:08:33,960
Speaker 4: But the end of that scripture is actually, you will

1437
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:34,960
Speaker 4: reap if you faint.

1438
01:08:35,040 --> 01:08:35,240
Speaker 5: Nothing.

1439
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,599
Speaker 4: That's the hope, right because it says do not get

1440
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:41,040
Speaker 4: well doing because you will act.

1441
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:43,400
Speaker 2: Again.

1442
01:08:44,000 --> 01:08:47,600
Speaker 4: You will reap. Not you might, not you may, you

1443
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:49,719
Speaker 4: will if reap if you faint.

1444
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:53,120
Speaker 3: Now, okay, so listen, I'm not fainting where it is?

1445
01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:54,000
Speaker 3: Am I not fainting?

1446
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:54,400
Speaker 1: Sisters?

1447
01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:55,679
Speaker 3: That am I not fainting?

1448
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:58,840
Speaker 1: Brothers? Fate, don't ask me to don't make me shall

1449
01:08:58,920 --> 01:08:59,760
Speaker 1: don't ask me to do that.

1450
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:00,479
Speaker 4: Dum.

1451
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:03,680
Speaker 1: I don't care who you are. Even with Latis. My

1452
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:07,280
Speaker 1: bishop has stopped. He's been praying over me and saying, well,

1453
01:09:07,320 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 1: what if what if the man has kids? What I said, Bishop,

1454
01:09:10,920 --> 01:09:16,439
Speaker 1: he doesn't. Bishop. I'm staying okay because I'm not gonna faint.

1455
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:18,160
Speaker 1: And it's not that I'm not gonna faint because I'm

1456
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:20,519
Speaker 1: this tough woman and I'm bigger and better than anyone else.

1457
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:24,240
Speaker 1: It's because my God made a promise to me, not

1458
01:09:24,439 --> 01:09:26,840
Speaker 1: to y'all, but to me, and I'm gonna stand on

1459
01:09:26,960 --> 01:09:28,439
Speaker 1: that promise until he delivers.

1460
01:09:28,600 --> 01:09:28,920
Speaker 2: That's good.

1461
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:30,800
Speaker 5: The first of all, you ever said that God made

1462
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:33,080
Speaker 5: that promise yeah, because see if you said that to me,

1463
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:35,400
Speaker 5: you will never hear me say anything. I thought this

1464
01:09:35,600 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 5: was a shy and think of this is what your

1465
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:40,799
Speaker 5: preference was. That's why I said at the very beginning,

1466
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:43,640
Speaker 5: sometimes we gotta divorce our quote unquote type. Is what

1467
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,880
Speaker 5: I talked about in my book. Devorce your type and

1468
01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:48,640
Speaker 5: marry your core values. If you're sitting here saying, my

1469
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:50,720
Speaker 5: husband gonna be this, this, this, and you said God

1470
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:52,800
Speaker 5: always that you said at the beginning, sometimes God will

1471
01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:53,639
Speaker 5: be like, I'm gonna.

1472
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:54,000
Speaker 2: Blow your mind.

1473
01:09:54,200 --> 01:09:55,800
Speaker 5: And he may be like, that's not what it is.

1474
01:09:56,040 --> 01:09:57,400
Speaker 5: I know you think that, but I'm gonna give you

1475
01:09:57,439 --> 01:10:00,120
Speaker 5: a man like this, this, this, this, this. Then when

1476
01:10:00,120 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 5: you go, oh, well, I didn't know that. But if

1477
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:06,200
Speaker 5: you're saying God actually said Schayenne, I hear what you want.

1478
01:10:06,640 --> 01:10:08,639
Speaker 5: I'm going to give you the desires of your heart.

1479
01:10:08,720 --> 01:10:09,439
Speaker 5: That's your desire.

1480
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:11,000
Speaker 2: I got you. And that's different.

1481
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:13,519
Speaker 1: I can ask you a question. When somebody says that

1482
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:16,759
Speaker 1: they believe, not they read or they know they believe

1483
01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:21,040
Speaker 1: that God is omni present. Yes, God is the alphabel mega,

1484
01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:23,680
Speaker 1: the in between. That means he is everything that he

1485
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:27,360
Speaker 1: is in every decision thought process that I have everything,

1486
01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:28,920
Speaker 1: whether it's good or bad. I know what's working for

1487
01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:31,760
Speaker 1: me because God told me it was part. That means

1488
01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:34,240
Speaker 1: that anything that I speak, that I say is a

1489
01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:37,799
Speaker 1: desire or that I say I want to manifest because

1490
01:10:37,880 --> 01:10:41,200
Speaker 1: God is omni present. He is in what I'm speaking

1491
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:44,040
Speaker 1: that I desire. He is in what I'm speaking about

1492
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:44,559
Speaker 1: that I want.

1493
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:45,519
Speaker 3: I only have.

1494
01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:48,519
Speaker 1: Desires on my heart because God put them there. Our

1495
01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:50,640
Speaker 1: job is to have a desire. His job is to

1496
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,840
Speaker 1: manifest it. Right, So the only desires that I have

1497
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:57,679
Speaker 1: are the will of God's, even if it looks different

1498
01:10:57,680 --> 01:11:00,960
Speaker 1: than someone else's ideology. I can say that because of

1499
01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:04,639
Speaker 1: my relationship with God and the authority I have already

1500
01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:07,120
Speaker 1: given and asked them to have over my life.

1501
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 3: If a decision I make is not the right one, God,

1502
01:11:10,200 --> 01:11:11,479
Speaker 3: you don't need to consult with me.

1503
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:14,000
Speaker 1: See some people want God to consult with him before

1504
01:11:14,040 --> 01:11:16,800
Speaker 1: they close that door. You don't have to ask shut

1505
01:11:16,880 --> 01:11:19,240
Speaker 1: the door. I don't care if the door shuts in

1506
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:21,080
Speaker 1: my face and I have to cry a couple hours

1507
01:11:21,120 --> 01:11:21,760
Speaker 1: over it. Shut it.

1508
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 2: But do you have to?

1509
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:24,639
Speaker 5: But do you always ask them before the door is open?

1510
01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:27,559
Speaker 5: Because sometimes if it's the desires of God's heart. Then

1511
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:31,080
Speaker 5: that means that every decision you make is consulted by God,

1512
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:32,400
Speaker 5: and so you'll be like God.

1513
01:11:32,439 --> 01:11:34,519
Speaker 2: Should I even respond to this guy? Should I even

1514
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,360
Speaker 2: do this? Can I do this?

1515
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:37,880
Speaker 5: Or do you trust yourself enough? Which I believe you do?

1516
01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:41,880
Speaker 5: Where you start entertaining the situation and then you go God,

1517
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:43,040
Speaker 5: Now what God said?

1518
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:44,559
Speaker 2: This ain't what it is. Many shut the door.

1519
01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:50,160
Speaker 1: God, don't play about us or with us. God is

1520
01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:52,879
Speaker 1: not hard of hearing. And my God don't have dementia.

1521
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,599
Speaker 5: But you got free will. So your free will, every

1522
01:11:55,640 --> 01:11:57,599
Speaker 5: decision you made ain't one hundred percent God.

1523
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:01,280
Speaker 3: But I have already given over my free will to God.

1524
01:12:02,200 --> 01:12:08,519
Speaker 1: So if I tell Ashley Ashley as my sister, anytime

1525
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:11,479
Speaker 1: I drink anything throughout the day, when you and I

1526
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:14,080
Speaker 1: are in each other's presence, right, it will only be

1527
01:12:14,240 --> 01:12:18,200
Speaker 1: what you serve me only, be what you serve me only.

1528
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:20,479
Speaker 1: And I'm committed to that, and I really commit to that.

1529
01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:23,360
Speaker 1: Right that means only what you serve me is what

1530
01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:24,040
Speaker 1: I'll be drinking.

1531
01:12:24,520 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 2: Really, you feel like that about God, But.

1532
01:12:29,560 --> 01:12:31,840
Speaker 3: This is a thing. Oh no, I'm saying, Oh I'm

1533
01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:34,040
Speaker 3: stepping Heaven. I'm stepping heavy.

1534
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:36,040
Speaker 1: Let me tell you why. Let me tell you why,

1535
01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:39,439
Speaker 1: because I have already told God I have given and

1536
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:41,240
Speaker 1: surrendered my free will over to you.

1537
01:12:41,560 --> 01:12:42,760
Speaker 3: Not many people have said that.

1538
01:12:43,439 --> 01:12:46,840
Speaker 5: But we don't surrender our free will. We surrender our will.

1539
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:49,599
Speaker 5: But our free will is something that God gave us freely,

1540
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:53,040
Speaker 5: that He ain't making us. Make you come do this interview.

1541
01:12:53,320 --> 01:12:54,280
Speaker 5: You chose to.

1542
01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:56,360
Speaker 1: But see that's your belief.

1543
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:58,639
Speaker 2: You believe that God told you to do everything.

1544
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:02,400
Speaker 1: Everything you do as a man, thinking, so is he?

1545
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:05,880
Speaker 1: As a woman think it, so is she. This is

1546
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:08,280
Speaker 1: what makes us so amazing is you are allowed to

1547
01:13:08,360 --> 01:13:11,680
Speaker 1: have your beliefs, and I have no permission to overstep those.

1548
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:13,559
Speaker 3: I'm allowed to have minds.

1549
01:13:14,040 --> 01:13:18,400
Speaker 1: My belief is that my free will has been given

1550
01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:20,479
Speaker 1: over to God fully, not just now.

1551
01:13:20,520 --> 01:13:21,519
Speaker 3: I did this as a little girl.

1552
01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:27,679
Speaker 1: Any decision that I make as a younger girl. Yeah, yes,

1553
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:31,800
Speaker 1: as a young girl, I told God, you have the authority,

1554
01:13:31,920 --> 01:13:36,559
Speaker 1: and please override any of my decisions, good, bad, or indifferent.

1555
01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:39,400
Speaker 1: Do not consult with me, do not. The only thing

1556
01:13:39,439 --> 01:13:42,240
Speaker 1: I asked God was one thing. I said, Please be gentle.

1557
01:13:42,760 --> 01:13:44,120
Speaker 3: And I only said gentle.

1558
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:45,400
Speaker 1: Because I know that.

1559
01:13:46,240 --> 01:13:51,320
Speaker 3: I only say gentle because I have experienced God's hand pretty.

1560
01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:57,519
Speaker 1: So after I forgot to ask for the gentle part

1561
01:13:57,600 --> 01:13:58,880
Speaker 1: until I got the heavy hand.

1562
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:01,559
Speaker 3: I said, Oh God, okay, I got a smart request.

1563
01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:03,920
Speaker 1: Right, He said, but I thought you, I thought you.

1564
01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:06,479
Speaker 4: I thought you were the big dog look like.

1565
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:09,160
Speaker 1: LATERA said, God said, but you was talking heavy. Yeah

1566
01:14:10,200 --> 01:14:12,720
Speaker 1: I know, I said, But God, your thoughts ain't my

1567
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:16,000
Speaker 1: thoughts and my way. Yeah, please just and that's my number,

1568
01:14:16,040 --> 01:14:18,000
Speaker 1: I said, God, be gentle. Yeah.

1569
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:21,479
Speaker 7: So the Bible says if you submit your plans to

1570
01:14:21,600 --> 01:14:24,000
Speaker 7: the Lord, he will direct your paths.

1571
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:29,640
Speaker 4: My question, though, is Mom Ashley, he's directing it?

1572
01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:33,360
Speaker 2: Mike.

1573
01:14:33,439 --> 01:14:36,679
Speaker 7: My question is that God is directing your path because

1574
01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:40,360
Speaker 7: you're submitting your plans to him, But some of the

1575
01:14:40,479 --> 01:14:44,600
Speaker 7: decisions you make along the way, right, they are operating.

1576
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:47,920
Speaker 7: You're operating from a place of free will. So how

1577
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,559
Speaker 7: do you discern the difference. Because when we go back

1578
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:54,160
Speaker 7: in your dating journey, right, you clearly said, okay, I

1579
01:14:54,280 --> 01:14:56,360
Speaker 7: heard some things at one point in time, I was.

1580
01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:59,200
Speaker 4: Doing it, and you were saying, you're submitted.

1581
01:14:59,000 --> 01:14:59,760
Speaker 1: To God's will.

1582
01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:03,200
Speaker 7: So then we have to be very careful when we

1583
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:06,680
Speaker 7: say that because even then in relationships, right, you know,

1584
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:09,639
Speaker 7: we can't live together like, God has a very clear

1585
01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:12,760
Speaker 7: way for how we have to date, how we have

1586
01:15:12,960 --> 01:15:16,719
Speaker 7: to live if we're submitted to him. So my question

1587
01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:20,120
Speaker 7: is is there does does doctor Brian have any free

1588
01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:24,519
Speaker 7: will at all? And what does that look like when

1589
01:15:24,600 --> 01:15:25,400
Speaker 7: it comes to dating.

1590
01:15:26,200 --> 01:15:30,800
Speaker 1: So in my belief, my free will has been turned

1591
01:15:30,880 --> 01:15:35,680
Speaker 1: over to God, which is my plans. That means that

1592
01:15:36,200 --> 01:15:39,920
Speaker 1: every and anything that happens, any and everything that happens,

1593
01:15:40,240 --> 01:15:43,320
Speaker 1: I am saying this is God. Because when God says

1594
01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:46,640
Speaker 1: omnipresent unless not like that, Lets y'all don't know the

1595
01:15:46,720 --> 01:15:47,360
Speaker 1: definition of.

1596
01:15:49,320 --> 01:15:49,519
Speaker 6: Time.

1597
01:15:49,880 --> 01:15:56,679
Speaker 5: So omnipotent is all powerful is knowing, Hey, you talked

1598
01:15:56,680 --> 01:16:00,559
Speaker 5: about Bible stuff he said is all So if you're

1599
01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:03,680
Speaker 5: saying that, hey, I give God complete control, which is

1600
01:16:03,720 --> 01:16:05,320
Speaker 5: what we're supposed to do when we give our life

1601
01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:07,280
Speaker 5: to Christ. We said, God, I surrender. One of my

1602
01:16:07,360 --> 01:16:10,760
Speaker 5: favorite songs is I Surrender on. But the reality is

1603
01:16:11,080 --> 01:16:14,080
Speaker 5: I seen that song since I was a little kid.

1604
01:16:14,720 --> 01:16:17,400
Speaker 5: But I know there's areas in my life that I

1605
01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:20,360
Speaker 5: hadn't fully surrendered. I can say it, I can believe it.

1606
01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:22,519
Speaker 5: I said, I gave my life to you. But if

1607
01:16:22,560 --> 01:16:25,479
Speaker 5: we're honest, there's still places of ourself that we I

1608
01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:27,719
Speaker 5: remember even telling ask to this. It was a season

1609
01:16:27,760 --> 01:16:29,519
Speaker 5: in my life. I didn't believe in day and long distance.

1610
01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:32,160
Speaker 5: That's what I told myself. I said, my wife is

1611
01:16:32,240 --> 01:16:34,880
Speaker 5: going to have to be in Dallas because I didn't.

1612
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:36,760
Speaker 5: But you know the truth, And I told asked this before.

1613
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:37,120
Speaker 2: I said.

1614
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:40,479
Speaker 5: When I was saying that, what I when I unpacked it.

1615
01:16:40,840 --> 01:16:42,760
Speaker 5: I couldn't afford to date somebody in the.

1616
01:16:42,760 --> 01:16:43,400
Speaker 2: Whole nother city.

1617
01:16:46,240 --> 01:16:48,919
Speaker 3: So I said, so you're really self projected.

1618
01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:50,680
Speaker 2: Because I said, because it need to be convenient, I

1619
01:16:50,720 --> 01:16:52,559
Speaker 2: need to be able to drive to you. I started

1620
01:16:52,600 --> 01:16:54,360
Speaker 2: making more money. I said, you know what, I can

1621
01:16:54,400 --> 01:16:55,320
Speaker 2: actually be on the plane.

1622
01:16:55,880 --> 01:16:59,440
Speaker 5: It was expensive, though, to court Ashley, it was expensive

1623
01:16:59,520 --> 01:17:01,920
Speaker 5: because it was a time last year her ac went

1624
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:04,280
Speaker 5: out and and I didn't want a bunch of guys

1625
01:17:04,360 --> 01:17:06,639
Speaker 5: come into the house and go get estimates or whatever.

1626
01:17:06,960 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 2: I booked a flight to go fly the next day.

1627
01:17:09,280 --> 01:17:12,360
Speaker 2: But that flight was like nine hundred mombo ass saying,

1628
01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:16,719
Speaker 2: so it was like a nine dollars flight.

1629
01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:18,760
Speaker 5: I said, She said, I said, listen, I only all

1630
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:20,840
Speaker 5: these men coming up here, because dudes, it was one

1631
01:17:20,920 --> 01:17:23,479
Speaker 5: guy that stopped by one day and while I was

1632
01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:26,240
Speaker 5: on the phone and then he was talking about He said, uh,

1633
01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:27,720
Speaker 5: he said, what do you say your a c I?

1634
01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:29,400
Speaker 5: He said, I know you hot, he said, he said,

1635
01:17:29,439 --> 01:17:29,960
Speaker 5: I know you hot.

1636
01:17:30,439 --> 01:17:32,680
Speaker 4: Has the air conditioning? Has it been hot in here?

1637
01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:33,479
Speaker 2: Because you hot?

1638
01:17:34,720 --> 01:17:36,400
Speaker 4: Yes, it's been really hot. He was like, no, I

1639
01:17:36,520 --> 01:17:37,000
Speaker 4: know you're hot.

1640
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:38,200
Speaker 2: He said, I know because you're hot.

1641
01:17:38,880 --> 01:17:40,599
Speaker 4: Let me book this like right now.

1642
01:17:40,840 --> 01:17:42,920
Speaker 2: This is where got me messed up and went over there.

1643
01:17:42,920 --> 01:17:45,320
Speaker 2: I said, Julio, let me get so I went out there.

1644
01:17:45,439 --> 01:17:47,479
Speaker 4: Let me let me get Ruth out this field real quick.

1645
01:17:47,680 --> 01:17:49,599
Speaker 4: Let me get Ruth out this field up there.

1646
01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:50,880
Speaker 2: You know, La was hotting them up.

1647
01:17:51,040 --> 01:17:52,920
Speaker 5: So I flew out there. I said, First I sent

1648
01:17:53,040 --> 01:17:56,519
Speaker 5: fans to I went on Instacart. I started sending these

1649
01:17:56,560 --> 01:17:59,479
Speaker 5: big fans there to go to to COOLi house down

1650
01:17:59,560 --> 01:18:01,400
Speaker 5: and I the flight the next day to go out there.

1651
01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:04,840
Speaker 2: But it's expensive. I have to keep flying and doing this.

1652
01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:07,280
Speaker 5: And I was real intentional about seeing us. So I'm flying,

1653
01:18:07,320 --> 01:18:09,759
Speaker 5: I'm doing all the stuff. Then I started covering.

1654
01:18:10,240 --> 01:18:11,759
Speaker 3: So God obviously made away.

1655
01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:12,479
Speaker 2: He did.

1656
01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:14,479
Speaker 1: Let me tell you why, because it was his will

1657
01:18:14,720 --> 01:18:16,679
Speaker 1: that God doesn't want it to happen.

1658
01:18:16,800 --> 01:18:17,519
Speaker 2: It ain't gonna happen.

1659
01:18:17,560 --> 01:18:21,360
Speaker 1: Maybe you can't miss what's yours. That's my belief. So

1660
01:18:21,479 --> 01:18:24,280
Speaker 1: my belief isn't I'm I had to be open though.

1661
01:18:24,640 --> 01:18:25,759
Speaker 2: So God is a gentleman.

1662
01:18:25,920 --> 01:18:28,479
Speaker 5: God says this, and I ain't gonna force you to

1663
01:18:28,560 --> 01:18:31,080
Speaker 5: do nothing, because God didn't make me go get on

1664
01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:33,639
Speaker 5: my knee, proposed to it, didn't make me do nothing.

1665
01:18:33,720 --> 01:18:35,200
Speaker 2: He said, here it is, you want it.

1666
01:18:35,439 --> 01:18:38,960
Speaker 7: That's the that's the part. The path is directed. He's

1667
01:18:39,040 --> 01:18:42,800
Speaker 7: directing your path, but you the steps have to take.

1668
01:18:43,240 --> 01:18:45,920
Speaker 7: And so that's where the free will is coming in

1669
01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:48,479
Speaker 7: because everyone has to do their part. Like my best

1670
01:18:48,520 --> 01:18:52,320
Speaker 7: friend called me on March seventh and said, God woke

1671
01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:55,679
Speaker 7: her up Holy spirit. She cannot shake this. She goes,

1672
01:18:56,120 --> 01:18:59,400
Speaker 7: Teris is your husband. This is seventh And this is

1673
01:18:59,520 --> 01:19:02,680
Speaker 7: crazy because lia Teris has been my friend so and

1674
01:19:02,800 --> 01:19:04,400
Speaker 7: my friend goes, I don't even know him.

1675
01:19:04,880 --> 01:19:07,160
Speaker 1: I don't I don't watch what he does. I haven't

1676
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:07,840
Speaker 1: seen him.

1677
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:10,880
Speaker 7: And she goes, but God told me he has a

1678
01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:14,600
Speaker 7: good heart and that is why he is her. And

1679
01:19:14,680 --> 01:19:17,559
Speaker 7: I'm like, this is crazy because I ain't told my friend.

1680
01:19:17,560 --> 01:19:19,000
Speaker 7: I think I like said his name, Like she's like,

1681
01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:20,559
Speaker 7: who are you on the phone with I said, La, Terras,

1682
01:19:20,720 --> 01:19:24,439
Speaker 7: how how is God speaking to you about who my

1683
01:19:24,560 --> 01:19:25,160
Speaker 7: husband is being?

1684
01:19:26,160 --> 01:19:28,720
Speaker 4: And I'm in La. I don't have no reason to

1685
01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:29,400
Speaker 4: leave l A.

1686
01:19:29,600 --> 01:19:32,040
Speaker 2: I like l A like And you used to say

1687
01:19:32,080 --> 01:19:33,240
Speaker 2: she would never move from l A.

1688
01:19:33,439 --> 01:19:34,400
Speaker 4: Told, that's what I told.

1689
01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:38,719
Speaker 7: My business is established in LA. Most of my clients

1690
01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:41,320
Speaker 7: are in LA. My clients are and I'm in entertainment.

1691
01:19:41,800 --> 01:19:43,040
Speaker 7: What clients are in Dallas.

1692
01:19:43,720 --> 01:19:46,840
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, not too much, but you

1693
01:19:46,920 --> 01:19:47,599
Speaker 4: know it's our city.

1694
01:19:47,680 --> 01:19:52,080
Speaker 1: But your husband but my bow asses. So that's all

1695
01:19:52,160 --> 01:19:59,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Doctor Bright, And I nice as nice, and

1696
01:19:59,280 --> 01:20:00,559
Speaker 1: you see, you.

1697
01:20:00,720 --> 01:20:05,080
Speaker 4: See where I am. But that's all I'm.

1698
01:20:04,920 --> 01:20:10,280
Speaker 7: Saying is that I believe that your husband is very near,

1699
01:20:10,840 --> 01:20:15,360
Speaker 7: and I also believe that he may not be exactly.

1700
01:20:15,760 --> 01:20:18,679
Speaker 4: He may not look exactly the way that you believe

1701
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:19,240
Speaker 4: he will look.

1702
01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:23,479
Speaker 7: And my prayer for usis is that you are able

1703
01:20:23,600 --> 01:20:30,000
Speaker 7: to discern his voice and not the voice of doctor

1704
01:20:30,040 --> 01:20:34,280
Speaker 7: Brian and what you are wanting, because I think you

1705
01:20:34,479 --> 01:20:38,880
Speaker 7: may think that you are settling for something that may

1706
01:20:39,000 --> 01:20:42,920
Speaker 7: be what God has for you but will reveal to

1707
01:20:43,080 --> 01:20:46,880
Speaker 7: you in a different season. And the reason I say

1708
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:53,120
Speaker 7: that is because God gave adam vision. First, that is

1709
01:20:53,200 --> 01:20:55,439
Speaker 7: a hard peel for some of us women to swallow

1710
01:20:55,960 --> 01:20:59,720
Speaker 7: because we are so used to leading and guiding and

1711
01:21:00,040 --> 01:21:01,200
Speaker 7: ampligating that we are good.

1712
01:21:01,360 --> 01:21:02,360
Speaker 3: I'm not that type of woman.

1713
01:21:03,040 --> 01:21:05,240
Speaker 4: I like a man who can think, and you can lead, and.

1714
01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:05,840
Speaker 3: I can nest.

1715
01:21:06,120 --> 01:21:08,679
Speaker 1: We ain't got that prod. I don't want to nest.

1716
01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:15,880
Speaker 4: But if Adam comes up to you. If Adam comes

1717
01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:20,360
Speaker 4: up to you, right, he doesn't mean he doesn't meet

1718
01:21:20,400 --> 01:21:20,760
Speaker 4: the list.

1719
01:21:20,920 --> 01:21:22,920
Speaker 1: I'm not eating off that tree because I'm gonna be nesting.

1720
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:25,040
Speaker 4: You're gonna have to bring the food.

1721
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:25,160
Speaker 5: You know.

1722
01:21:25,320 --> 01:21:26,880
Speaker 1: You know what a bird does in the nest. The

1723
01:21:26,960 --> 01:21:29,200
Speaker 1: mama bird brings home the food. So let's Adam bring

1724
01:21:29,280 --> 01:21:35,000
Speaker 1: it home. I want to see that man and let

1725
01:21:35,040 --> 01:21:37,639
Speaker 1: me like, I want to comment on that, because when

1726
01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:39,800
Speaker 1: you were saying you hope and think, thank you for that.

1727
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:42,560
Speaker 1: First of all, thank you I received that when you

1728
01:21:42,640 --> 01:21:44,560
Speaker 1: were saying you hope that you know my discernment is

1729
01:21:44,600 --> 01:21:49,160
Speaker 1: able to decipher between God's voice and my desires if

1730
01:21:50,120 --> 01:21:52,040
Speaker 1: it hadn't been thus far.

1731
01:21:53,800 --> 01:21:55,080
Speaker 3: And I say this with humility.

1732
01:21:55,920 --> 01:22:00,560
Speaker 1: My options as many men that pursue me and have

1733
01:22:00,640 --> 01:22:04,479
Speaker 1: attempted to court me with and without kids, I would

1734
01:22:04,479 --> 01:22:08,200
Speaker 1: have been already just either settled or not settled, but

1735
01:22:08,400 --> 01:22:13,200
Speaker 1: just married and tied in because oh, this seems like

1736
01:22:13,320 --> 01:22:17,640
Speaker 1: something I want right now, this guy is treating me

1737
01:22:17,720 --> 01:22:19,760
Speaker 1: or giving me a quality of life that is my

1738
01:22:19,920 --> 01:22:23,240
Speaker 1: idea of a life. This man is showing up as

1739
01:22:23,320 --> 01:22:27,639
Speaker 1: my idea of a husband. But because of how God moves,

1740
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:31,840
Speaker 1: at least in my world, in my life, I pray

1741
01:22:31,880 --> 01:22:35,840
Speaker 1: over everything one but two he moved swiftly. So what

1742
01:22:35,960 --> 01:22:38,400
Speaker 1: I really love is that God hasn't even allowed me

1743
01:22:38,600 --> 01:22:44,080
Speaker 1: to spend long term time with the wrong people. Come

1744
01:22:44,120 --> 01:22:45,960
Speaker 1: on the terrace and you've been You've been here for

1745
01:22:46,080 --> 01:22:47,720
Speaker 1: years to see it, he just said. When I walked

1746
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:48,559
Speaker 1: in here, he said.

1747
01:22:48,479 --> 01:22:49,400
Speaker 3: So, what's up you dating?

1748
01:22:49,479 --> 01:22:52,360
Speaker 1: I said no, He said, still did he not get?

1749
01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:54,920
Speaker 1: Which means that mine let me say that, which means

1750
01:22:55,040 --> 01:22:58,960
Speaker 1: that my discernment is on fire, not perfect. I can

1751
01:22:59,000 --> 01:23:01,880
Speaker 1: fall short and I hear y'all that, but on fire

1752
01:23:03,040 --> 01:23:06,960
Speaker 1: with God's my ear to God's voice. But it's also

1753
01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:10,760
Speaker 1: because I'm not entangled with so many different men and

1754
01:23:10,880 --> 01:23:14,080
Speaker 1: so many different souls and so many different voices. I'm

1755
01:23:14,160 --> 01:23:17,040
Speaker 1: not looking to several different men to have in vision

1756
01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:20,880
Speaker 1: for me for now. I'm married to God, so he

1757
01:23:21,200 --> 01:23:24,000
Speaker 1: has my vision. When he the Father turns it over

1758
01:23:24,120 --> 01:23:27,599
Speaker 1: to whomever he has for me, that's when that husband

1759
01:23:27,600 --> 01:23:29,599
Speaker 1: will have the vision for me and cover me. Until then,

1760
01:23:30,120 --> 01:23:34,120
Speaker 1: my lens are through God's vision. And I am perfectly

1761
01:23:34,200 --> 01:23:37,160
Speaker 1: okay with that. What I find it being in life

1762
01:23:37,160 --> 01:23:38,720
Speaker 1: over eighteen years, and I talk about it in my

1763
01:23:38,800 --> 01:23:42,200
Speaker 1: book is a lot of women are not okay with

1764
01:23:42,560 --> 01:23:45,960
Speaker 1: just having God's lens. They believe that God being the

1765
01:23:46,000 --> 01:23:48,920
Speaker 1: one that cover them, God being the husband in those

1766
01:23:48,960 --> 01:23:52,479
Speaker 1: seasons is settling. Sis. That ain't settling. That is the

1767
01:23:52,560 --> 01:23:55,840
Speaker 1: promised land. Yeah, that is the blessing, that is the gift.

1768
01:23:56,000 --> 01:23:57,640
Speaker 1: And if you can learn to sit in that. The

1769
01:23:57,720 --> 01:23:59,720
Speaker 1: Bible says, if you can be, if you can be

1770
01:23:59,760 --> 01:24:00,280
Speaker 1: great for.

1771
01:24:00,320 --> 01:24:02,840
Speaker 3: Over few, I'll make your ruler over many.

1772
01:24:03,439 --> 01:24:07,040
Speaker 1: And I know that the work that God has done

1773
01:24:07,160 --> 01:24:09,600
Speaker 1: through me and with me over these eight years, and

1774
01:24:09,760 --> 01:24:12,200
Speaker 1: the lives and the sheep that need to know my voice,

1775
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:15,080
Speaker 1: it required a single me. Let me tell you why,

1776
01:24:15,320 --> 01:24:17,559
Speaker 1: because I'm a woman who is all about family.

1777
01:24:17,760 --> 01:24:18,160
Speaker 3: Husband.

1778
01:24:18,479 --> 01:24:21,360
Speaker 1: If he would have sent this husband and these kids baby,

1779
01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:27,360
Speaker 1: nobody would God interview a book or session and speaking

1780
01:24:27,400 --> 01:24:29,519
Speaker 1: to it, And I'm not saying that to be me.

1781
01:24:29,840 --> 01:24:30,120
Speaker 4: I'll be.

1782
01:24:32,040 --> 01:24:33,759
Speaker 3: God knows I'm a nestor.

1783
01:24:34,400 --> 01:24:38,160
Speaker 1: I would have tucked, dipped, rolled, and nested underneath that

1784
01:24:38,280 --> 01:24:41,280
Speaker 1: man and them kids. And God knows that everything I've

1785
01:24:41,320 --> 01:24:44,720
Speaker 1: been giving his sheep, I would have gave to my

1786
01:24:44,880 --> 01:24:47,800
Speaker 1: man and those babies they're still gonna get it. But

1787
01:24:47,960 --> 01:24:51,080
Speaker 1: I didn't know that until God said that to me.

1788
01:24:51,240 --> 01:24:53,200
Speaker 1: And he said it clear. He said it clear through

1789
01:24:53,240 --> 01:24:55,840
Speaker 1: my meditation. He said it clear through me watching Bishop

1790
01:24:55,880 --> 01:24:58,040
Speaker 1: Jake's one time when I had meditated on it, and

1791
01:24:58,160 --> 01:25:01,000
Speaker 1: here come Bishop with his black hell on TV and

1792
01:25:01,120 --> 01:25:04,000
Speaker 1: he's just talking about exactly what and I just literally

1793
01:25:04,080 --> 01:25:05,960
Speaker 1: just fell to my knees and I'm balling my eyes out.

1794
01:25:05,960 --> 01:25:08,920
Speaker 1: I'm like and I just have this thing where I'm like, God,

1795
01:25:09,040 --> 01:25:12,479
Speaker 1: you played too much because you so loud.

1796
01:25:13,120 --> 01:25:15,120
Speaker 3: But guess what my other affirmation was years ago.

1797
01:25:16,000 --> 01:25:21,400
Speaker 1: God talk louder, talk louder. I can't eat louder. I

1798
01:25:21,479 --> 01:25:24,800
Speaker 1: can't hear you louder. And when I tell you God

1799
01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:28,439
Speaker 1: is a gentleman, we have to remember to ask and

1800
01:25:28,600 --> 01:25:32,240
Speaker 1: not just expect. He loud, I mean loud. And so

1801
01:25:32,720 --> 01:25:36,080
Speaker 1: when I heard that, I said, I already understood it.

1802
01:25:36,400 --> 01:25:41,679
Speaker 1: I understood why, but you confirming it it even settles

1803
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:45,400
Speaker 1: my heart and my peace even more. And so again

1804
01:25:45,560 --> 01:25:50,320
Speaker 1: how God hardened Pharaoh's heart. When it is that time,

1805
01:25:50,760 --> 01:25:53,800
Speaker 1: God's time, trust me, I won't have to argue with

1806
01:25:53,920 --> 01:25:56,519
Speaker 1: my heart. I won't have to argue with that man,

1807
01:25:57,200 --> 01:25:59,800
Speaker 1: and I will be in full submission. God will make

1808
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:02,760
Speaker 1: I'm sure that I'm gleaning the way I should. I'll

1809
01:26:02,800 --> 01:26:04,680
Speaker 1: be at his feet asking can you cover me with

1810
01:26:04,800 --> 01:26:08,400
Speaker 1: your girl? Would add one thing about me? I am obedient.

1811
01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:14,200
Speaker 1: I'm serious. If there's one characteristic strength that I have

1812
01:26:15,120 --> 01:26:17,920
Speaker 1: is that I am obedient, and I am a disciplined woman,

1813
01:26:18,600 --> 01:26:19,479
Speaker 1: almost to a fault.

1814
01:26:19,840 --> 01:26:22,800
Speaker 2: I don't want to I'm interrupting you real quick.

1815
01:26:22,880 --> 01:26:24,360
Speaker 5: But the one thing I don't want to do to

1816
01:26:24,439 --> 01:26:27,000
Speaker 5: you is what people did to me while I had

1817
01:26:27,040 --> 01:26:31,120
Speaker 5: this platform. Assuming you're supposed to be married before the time,

1818
01:26:31,720 --> 01:26:34,040
Speaker 5: and so because I said, if I had listened to

1819
01:26:34,120 --> 01:26:35,840
Speaker 5: other people telling me you should have, I know you

1820
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:37,920
Speaker 5: done found when you did all this, and the truth

1821
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:39,040
Speaker 5: they did tell the truth.

1822
01:26:39,120 --> 01:26:41,080
Speaker 2: I did find the one. Yes, I was just waiting

1823
01:26:41,160 --> 01:26:43,920
Speaker 2: for the time for her to become the one.

1824
01:26:44,360 --> 01:26:46,760
Speaker 5: And so what happened was because it was still some

1825
01:26:46,880 --> 01:26:49,040
Speaker 5: maturation that needs to take place in both of us

1826
01:26:49,160 --> 01:26:51,160
Speaker 5: without us even knowing. And I always said that I

1827
01:26:51,200 --> 01:26:53,360
Speaker 5: want to go from friend of fiance. So God allowed

1828
01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:56,200
Speaker 5: that friendship to be cultivated in that year and four

1829
01:26:56,320 --> 01:26:58,479
Speaker 5: months before I said, hold on, man, I need to

1830
01:26:58,520 --> 01:27:00,280
Speaker 5: see if it's more than just friendship with it. Can

1831
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:02,360
Speaker 5: I take you out on a date? She didn't tell

1832
01:27:02,439 --> 01:27:05,080
Speaker 5: me that the conversation she had with our homegirl. I

1833
01:27:05,880 --> 01:27:09,640
Speaker 5: shout out to Daphne Mars the seventh. I asked her

1834
01:27:10,200 --> 01:27:11,840
Speaker 5: a week prior to that, can I take her on

1835
01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:15,439
Speaker 5: a date? She gave me her first avail, which was

1836
01:27:15,560 --> 01:27:17,840
Speaker 5: March the eighteenth. I was like, no, it's a long time.

1837
01:27:18,080 --> 01:27:20,280
Speaker 5: But I was like, I just I'll just be patient.

1838
01:27:20,479 --> 01:27:22,479
Speaker 5: But then in March the eighteenth, a week prior to

1839
01:27:22,560 --> 01:27:24,719
Speaker 5: March eighteenth, I said, now ask you know, I typically

1840
01:27:24,760 --> 01:27:27,599
Speaker 5: date multiple women, and I'll date multiple women and if

1841
01:27:27,640 --> 01:27:30,559
Speaker 5: God tells me that you're the one, then I'll shut

1842
01:27:30,640 --> 01:27:31,400
Speaker 5: off everybody else.

1843
01:27:31,439 --> 01:27:32,800
Speaker 2: I recommend you do the same thing.

1844
01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:35,400
Speaker 5: But then I also said to her, first time I

1845
01:27:35,439 --> 01:27:37,559
Speaker 5: ever telling this to a woman in my entire life,

1846
01:27:37,720 --> 01:27:40,200
Speaker 5: and every woman that dated me, no, I ain't.

1847
01:27:40,600 --> 01:27:43,160
Speaker 1: Don't. Don't you be talking to other women here.

1848
01:27:44,520 --> 01:27:46,120
Speaker 2: This is what I told her. So this I told you.

1849
01:27:47,600 --> 01:27:49,800
Speaker 1: Now I know we were here, So this is what

1850
01:27:49,920 --> 01:27:50,360
Speaker 1: I told her.

1851
01:27:50,479 --> 01:27:52,120
Speaker 2: I told her straight up. I said, listen.

1852
01:27:52,280 --> 01:27:54,360
Speaker 5: I told her the week before I took on the

1853
01:27:54,439 --> 01:27:57,479
Speaker 5: first date, I said, I'm committed to you before the commitment.

1854
01:27:57,960 --> 01:28:00,160
Speaker 2: I'm not rushing you to find out who for you

1855
01:28:00,240 --> 01:28:01,599
Speaker 2: to see who I am or whatever.

1856
01:28:01,720 --> 01:28:04,080
Speaker 5: I'm just letting you know I made a decision to

1857
01:28:04,200 --> 01:28:06,560
Speaker 5: remove all of the options and I am going to

1858
01:28:06,720 --> 01:28:09,840
Speaker 5: focus on you. And she was just like, I still

1859
01:28:09,880 --> 01:28:12,000
Speaker 5: didn't make a move, no faster, no whatever. We went

1860
01:28:12,040 --> 01:28:14,080
Speaker 5: on our first date, because when I'll go to LA,

1861
01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:15,640
Speaker 5: we'll go to lunch or whatever. And I did that

1862
01:28:15,680 --> 01:28:19,439
Speaker 5: about twice throughout the years without the year and four months,

1863
01:28:19,640 --> 01:28:21,560
Speaker 5: and so then we went on our first date and

1864
01:28:21,680 --> 01:28:24,880
Speaker 5: I was just like, it's a rap, like do whatever

1865
01:28:24,920 --> 01:28:28,000
Speaker 5: you do. But I'm sitting here staying focused because I

1866
01:28:28,040 --> 01:28:31,280
Speaker 5: didn't want to cloud my judgment with dating multiple women

1867
01:28:31,400 --> 01:28:33,360
Speaker 5: and seeing oh she cool and she cooling that I

1868
01:28:33,439 --> 01:28:35,439
Speaker 5: just said, let me just focus on her, because I

1869
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:38,120
Speaker 5: had built such a solid friendship with her that I

1870
01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:39,599
Speaker 5: was like, I want this for the rest.

1871
01:28:39,439 --> 01:28:39,920
Speaker 2: Of my life.

1872
01:28:40,040 --> 01:28:43,040
Speaker 1: But that's because you had vision. Absolutely, you didn't need

1873
01:28:43,200 --> 01:28:45,840
Speaker 1: her validation. Let me say some A man with vision

1874
01:28:45,840 --> 01:28:46,639
Speaker 1: don't need validation.

1875
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:50,680
Speaker 2: Baby, a man with vision don't need I'm gonna throw this,

1876
01:28:51,000 --> 01:28:54,360
Speaker 2: throw it. I'm gonna throw something. I'll get a case on.

1877
01:28:54,840 --> 01:29:00,840
Speaker 3: I need something that's soft, don't need validation. But that's

1878
01:29:00,880 --> 01:29:01,840
Speaker 3: what true leadership is.

1879
01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:02,120
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1880
01:29:02,600 --> 01:29:03,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what leadership is.

1881
01:29:04,040 --> 01:29:07,920
Speaker 1: It's it's I'm gonna do what I'm committed to doing, yes,

1882
01:29:08,160 --> 01:29:10,360
Speaker 1: regardless of what you're saying or how I'm.

1883
01:29:10,240 --> 01:29:13,679
Speaker 3: Feeling, and which means that that kind of man can't

1884
01:29:13,720 --> 01:29:14,120
Speaker 3: be taken.

1885
01:29:14,439 --> 01:29:14,639
Speaker 2: Yep.

1886
01:29:15,040 --> 01:29:18,240
Speaker 1: That kind of man is committed until he decides.

1887
01:29:18,120 --> 01:29:19,080
Speaker 3: To be uncommitted.

1888
01:29:19,280 --> 01:29:20,840
Speaker 2: Yep. That's facts.

1889
01:29:20,920 --> 01:29:23,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I always saying, said, I can't be taken. Yeah,

1890
01:29:23,640 --> 01:29:25,479
Speaker 1: I'm a woman who makes my own commitments and I'm

1891
01:29:25,479 --> 01:29:27,680
Speaker 1: gonna do what I want to do regardless of what

1892
01:29:27,760 --> 01:29:28,160
Speaker 1: you're doing.

1893
01:29:28,360 --> 01:29:29,519
Speaker 3: I don't need your validation.

1894
01:29:30,520 --> 01:29:30,840
Speaker 2: It's fun.

1895
01:29:31,040 --> 01:29:33,120
Speaker 5: You said it like that because I told her. I said, listen,

1896
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:35,640
Speaker 5: I'm going I'm putting a full court press on you.

1897
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:38,960
Speaker 5: I'm coming after you. If this don't work out, it's

1898
01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:41,200
Speaker 5: gonna because you just don't want to work out. But

1899
01:29:41,360 --> 01:29:44,680
Speaker 5: I'm choosing you until you no longer choose me. Then

1900
01:29:44,720 --> 01:29:46,760
Speaker 5: I say that, I said, this is what it is.

1901
01:29:46,880 --> 01:29:48,880
Speaker 5: I said, I'm choosing you into I said, now, I

1902
01:29:48,960 --> 01:29:49,720
Speaker 5: ain't gonna make you.

1903
01:29:49,800 --> 01:29:50,559
Speaker 2: That be unhealthy.

1904
01:29:52,200 --> 01:29:54,360
Speaker 5: I said, I don't want to be unhealthy if you

1905
01:29:54,439 --> 01:29:57,680
Speaker 5: don't want me, and and and you know, time materializes

1906
01:29:57,720 --> 01:29:59,720
Speaker 5: as we're dating and I'm courting you, and you said

1907
01:29:59,720 --> 01:30:01,720
Speaker 5: you don't want meet, and so be it. Let me

1908
01:30:01,880 --> 01:30:04,479
Speaker 5: know that so I can move around. I actually told

1909
01:30:04,520 --> 01:30:06,360
Speaker 5: her this. I said, if it ain't you, then I

1910
01:30:06,400 --> 01:30:07,760
Speaker 5: guess I ain't got no wife out there.

1911
01:30:07,920 --> 01:30:11,360
Speaker 1: See pin that, Because this is what I mean by saying,

1912
01:30:11,880 --> 01:30:14,400
Speaker 1: when you meet your husband, and this is when you're

1913
01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:16,680
Speaker 1: asking me, and when you asked me early ash, how

1914
01:30:16,840 --> 01:30:20,320
Speaker 1: can I hopefully I can decide my discernment from doctor

1915
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:23,000
Speaker 1: Bryan's desires. This is why from what you just said,

1916
01:30:23,640 --> 01:30:26,240
Speaker 1: when you meet your husband, what he just described is

1917
01:30:26,520 --> 01:30:30,760
Speaker 1: you experienced God and that man yes, So there's no

1918
01:30:30,880 --> 01:30:34,000
Speaker 1: way I can get my discernment confused with what I

1919
01:30:34,080 --> 01:30:34,960
Speaker 1: want beause you.

1920
01:30:35,000 --> 01:30:37,320
Speaker 2: Feel you feel a confirmation with God from his rest

1921
01:30:37,360 --> 01:30:37,599
Speaker 2: of all.

1922
01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:43,240
Speaker 1: Because what the way what laterians just described that's God's firm,

1923
01:30:43,800 --> 01:30:50,160
Speaker 1: unwavering love. I'm not wavering. I'm not looking for your validation.

1924
01:30:50,600 --> 01:30:54,200
Speaker 1: I'm not even waiting for you to start. But but

1925
01:30:54,520 --> 01:30:58,120
Speaker 1: but I'm because God. Listen, all God's and gentlemen, all

1926
01:30:58,160 --> 01:30:59,960
Speaker 1: this free will, that's cute. Let me tell you something.

1927
01:31:00,439 --> 01:31:03,200
Speaker 1: Because he did it with Jonah. Yeah, he did it

1928
01:31:03,280 --> 01:31:05,800
Speaker 1: with Jonah. So all this free will, that's cute. That's

1929
01:31:05,800 --> 01:31:07,960
Speaker 1: why I said, I get yeah, Well, no, I don't

1930
01:31:08,000 --> 01:31:09,640
Speaker 1: have no free will because he Jonah thought he had

1931
01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:10,080
Speaker 1: free will.

1932
01:31:10,280 --> 01:31:11,200
Speaker 4: Well, and I will say this.

1933
01:31:11,360 --> 01:31:14,080
Speaker 7: I will say, doctor Bryant, you you are so much

1934
01:31:14,640 --> 01:31:17,800
Speaker 7: more ahead of where I was when I met him,

1935
01:31:18,160 --> 01:31:22,160
Speaker 7: because I had things that were blocking me, that were

1936
01:31:22,360 --> 01:31:26,400
Speaker 7: where I was not fully submitted to God. Like I

1937
01:31:27,439 --> 01:31:29,800
Speaker 7: had in my head that I wanted someone who didn't

1938
01:31:29,840 --> 01:31:33,320
Speaker 7: have kids. And then I realized that I'm an answered

1939
01:31:33,439 --> 01:31:35,240
Speaker 7: prayer for Lataria.

1940
01:31:35,800 --> 01:31:38,240
Speaker 2: I realized, let me let me jump in, we'll finish that.

1941
01:31:38,840 --> 01:31:41,479
Speaker 2: How that confirmed you mom, that that was come from it?

1942
01:31:41,560 --> 01:31:46,280
Speaker 7: And for me, I realized how my masters is an

1943
01:31:46,360 --> 01:31:47,599
Speaker 7: early childhood development.

1944
01:31:47,800 --> 01:31:48,559
Speaker 4: I was a teacher.

1945
01:31:49,040 --> 01:31:51,759
Speaker 7: I get such joy with Ladarian being in the house

1946
01:31:52,040 --> 01:31:55,080
Speaker 7: because he's a senior in high school, I realized that

1947
01:31:55,800 --> 01:31:59,680
Speaker 7: his children would pour and give more to me than you.

1948
01:31:59,840 --> 01:32:02,720
Speaker 4: That that I like, I didn't know what I didn't know.

1949
01:32:03,160 --> 01:32:07,479
Speaker 4: So I had these ideas in my head about I said.

1950
01:32:07,320 --> 01:32:10,560
Speaker 7: Oh, like, you know, you've done these things that I

1951
01:32:10,760 --> 01:32:12,120
Speaker 7: haven't experienced before.

1952
01:32:12,400 --> 01:32:15,080
Speaker 4: It feels like you've lived a whole life before I've

1953
01:32:15,200 --> 01:32:15,519
Speaker 4: lived it.

1954
01:32:15,880 --> 01:32:19,720
Speaker 7: And what God corrected me in was and again like

1955
01:32:19,920 --> 01:32:21,680
Speaker 7: this for our book that we'll put out one day

1956
01:32:21,680 --> 01:32:23,800
Speaker 7: because I'm not going to go into all the details

1957
01:32:23,880 --> 01:32:26,720
Speaker 7: of it, but what I will say is it is

1958
01:32:26,840 --> 01:32:30,599
Speaker 7: so beautiful to watch how God even shifted even as

1959
01:32:30,680 --> 01:32:32,920
Speaker 7: we were friends, right like, oh.

1960
01:32:32,880 --> 01:32:36,320
Speaker 4: Well maybe I could move and maybe maybe I could

1961
01:32:36,479 --> 01:32:38,080
Speaker 4: do this, or maybe that's.

1962
01:32:38,120 --> 01:32:40,839
Speaker 7: Not And so what I begin, I begin to mature

1963
01:32:41,320 --> 01:32:47,240
Speaker 7: because God made me the suitable helper, right, I'm the helper.

1964
01:32:47,479 --> 01:32:48,680
Speaker 4: That's what I was created to be.

1965
01:32:48,800 --> 01:32:52,800
Speaker 3: Pin that yeah, God, not man.

1966
01:32:53,120 --> 01:32:53,320
Speaker 4: Yep.

1967
01:32:53,880 --> 01:32:59,640
Speaker 1: God came in and unheardened your heart and ideologies for

1968
01:33:00,120 --> 01:33:03,280
Speaker 1: he had for you. So when human tells me or

1969
01:33:03,360 --> 01:33:06,280
Speaker 1: any other human beings what we should or shouldn't do,

1970
01:33:06,479 --> 01:33:08,559
Speaker 1: or what if your husband has kids, or what if

1971
01:33:08,640 --> 01:33:11,920
Speaker 1: your wife looked like this? With all due respect, I

1972
01:33:11,960 --> 01:33:14,599
Speaker 1: don't need you to tell me anything that's good. When

1973
01:33:14,760 --> 01:33:17,519
Speaker 1: and if God happens to change my heart in those ways,

1974
01:33:17,600 --> 01:33:21,599
Speaker 1: then guess what y'all know. Yes, But in the meantime,

1975
01:33:21,720 --> 01:33:23,839
Speaker 1: I'm standing on his promise. I love that my husband

1976
01:33:23,880 --> 01:33:26,559
Speaker 1: has my love, and I'm okay with that. And I'm

1977
01:33:26,600 --> 01:33:29,760
Speaker 1: not a woman who if God shifted my heart in

1978
01:33:29,880 --> 01:33:32,519
Speaker 1: my mind to be with that kind of guy who

1979
01:33:32,600 --> 01:33:35,400
Speaker 1: had children, who would get in it, watch this and

1980
01:33:35,640 --> 01:33:39,200
Speaker 1: feel like I settled because the way that my God works,

1981
01:33:39,800 --> 01:33:42,400
Speaker 1: he won't have my heart feeling like that for a

1982
01:33:42,520 --> 01:33:43,479
Speaker 1: man who is mine.

1983
01:33:43,560 --> 01:33:45,560
Speaker 3: Because my husband is a reflection of me.

1984
01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:48,479
Speaker 1: So if I'm not a settled type of woman, what

1985
01:33:48,600 --> 01:33:51,800
Speaker 1: I'm looking at can't be either at all. But with

1986
01:33:52,040 --> 01:33:55,640
Speaker 1: my ex fiance who had kids, we talked about this.

1987
01:33:56,000 --> 01:33:59,080
Speaker 1: I will go to bed at night after an amazing day.

1988
01:34:00,080 --> 01:34:03,320
Speaker 1: After we're in Paris, We've had the best conversation. We

1989
01:34:03,520 --> 01:34:06,920
Speaker 1: just got back from church, we're with family, we just

1990
01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:11,200
Speaker 1: did community events, all of the stuff. I ain't seen

1991
01:34:11,240 --> 01:34:13,760
Speaker 1: a bill, all the stuff. And I would lay next

1992
01:34:13,800 --> 01:34:15,960
Speaker 1: to him and I would say, baby, you say yeah.

1993
01:34:16,800 --> 01:34:19,280
Speaker 1: I say, I'm sorry, but we gotta have that conversation again,

1994
01:34:19,720 --> 01:34:23,400
Speaker 1: and he will facilitate me. He would say, what's going on, babe.

1995
01:34:23,400 --> 01:34:27,200
Speaker 1: I was like, I can't gut it, and he's like what.

1996
01:34:27,400 --> 01:34:28,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't gut the kid thing.

1997
01:34:30,120 --> 01:34:32,160
Speaker 3: I just can't. It's not you.

1998
01:34:32,360 --> 01:34:33,960
Speaker 1: And this is when I told you the terrorists, I said,

1999
01:34:33,960 --> 01:34:37,479
Speaker 1: when I realized, it's not the character of the man.

2000
01:34:38,040 --> 01:34:42,599
Speaker 1: There are great men with kids. It's not the man.

2001
01:34:43,120 --> 01:34:45,120
Speaker 3: It's me and my value system.

2002
01:34:46,200 --> 01:34:48,200
Speaker 1: That's just what it is. And it's unfair for me

2003
01:34:48,280 --> 01:34:50,639
Speaker 1: to get with any man with kids for the sake

2004
01:34:50,720 --> 01:34:54,240
Speaker 1: of settling, just to emasculate him, not with my words,

2005
01:34:54,280 --> 01:34:57,720
Speaker 1: but with my energy and my behavior and my inability

2006
01:34:57,800 --> 01:35:01,719
Speaker 1: to fully admire and respect this man just because he doesn't.

2007
01:35:01,520 --> 01:35:03,680
Speaker 3: Fit my values. I wouldn't do that to him.

2008
01:35:04,520 --> 01:35:06,720
Speaker 1: Couldn't because he is going to love the hell out

2009
01:35:06,760 --> 01:35:08,320
Speaker 1: of me. I have yet to be with a man

2010
01:35:08,360 --> 01:35:11,960
Speaker 1: who hasn't. He doesn't deserve that, and I don't either.

2011
01:35:12,640 --> 01:35:15,120
Speaker 1: So that's why I know I have to because to

2012
01:35:15,240 --> 01:35:17,000
Speaker 1: your point of you say, I was ahead of you

2013
01:35:17,120 --> 01:35:19,639
Speaker 1: just in that experience. I have been with the man

2014
01:35:19,680 --> 01:35:22,759
Speaker 1: with kids, no baby mama issue, no drama. The girls

2015
01:35:22,840 --> 01:35:26,519
Speaker 1: loved me. When I left him. His daughter still kept

2016
01:35:26,560 --> 01:35:28,719
Speaker 1: in contact with me. Still wanted me to come to events,

2017
01:35:28,760 --> 01:35:31,000
Speaker 1: and I had to tell her, baby, I support you,

2018
01:35:31,840 --> 01:35:34,519
Speaker 1: but your dad may have a new woman. I don't know,

2019
01:35:34,600 --> 01:35:36,280
Speaker 1: and I don't want to disrespect that. So you got

2020
01:35:36,400 --> 01:35:38,120
Speaker 1: to check in with him because I want to do

2021
01:35:38,240 --> 01:35:41,000
Speaker 1: what's right because even though I'm not with him, I'm

2022
01:35:41,040 --> 01:35:44,360
Speaker 1: still step mama. Yes, I still have to respect your dad.

2023
01:35:44,400 --> 01:35:47,160
Speaker 1: This Sarah hierarchy. We still the parents. I'm not going

2024
01:35:47,200 --> 01:35:50,280
Speaker 1: to disrespect this man because we're not together. And so,

2025
01:35:50,479 --> 01:35:52,840
Speaker 1: you know, and then the other thing that I didn't

2026
01:35:52,960 --> 01:35:56,360
Speaker 1: like about it was, you know, when I left, he

2027
01:35:56,479 --> 01:35:59,040
Speaker 1: got to keep the kids. And then yet that's real.

2028
01:35:59,120 --> 01:35:59,880
Speaker 3: I got a problem with that.

2029
01:36:00,080 --> 01:36:00,439
Speaker 4: That's real.

2030
01:36:00,520 --> 01:36:01,360
Speaker 1: I got a problem with it.

2031
01:36:01,479 --> 01:36:03,000
Speaker 4: I tell my own relations problem.

2032
01:36:04,000 --> 01:36:06,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got so hold on.

2033
01:36:06,280 --> 01:36:08,920
Speaker 1: So y'all just go Thanksgiving? What out your girl? Right?

2034
01:36:09,920 --> 01:36:12,240
Speaker 1: I sat here and lin at this family. I had

2035
01:36:12,320 --> 01:36:15,519
Speaker 1: therapy sessions that I helped try to help you and

2036
01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:16,960
Speaker 1: your kids bridge this gap.

2037
01:36:17,160 --> 01:36:19,880
Speaker 4: Yeah you cooking, you cooking, and you mean to tell

2038
01:36:19,960 --> 01:36:20,720
Speaker 4: me I'll walk out.

2039
01:36:20,920 --> 01:36:22,400
Speaker 1: Since I was the one that had a blend, now

2040
01:36:22,400 --> 01:36:26,680
Speaker 1: I'm the one that got an umblind almost curse forget all,

2041
01:36:26,760 --> 01:36:32,720
Speaker 1: y'all all y'all, but I'm not see I know I'm not.

2042
01:36:32,960 --> 01:36:37,800
Speaker 1: That's just yeah, that's happy because I am very involved.

2043
01:36:37,960 --> 01:36:39,759
Speaker 1: I'm not there as your kids.

2044
01:36:40,680 --> 01:36:42,880
Speaker 7: But I love what you said, like you have a big,

2045
01:36:43,560 --> 01:36:47,840
Speaker 7: huge calling and purpose over your life, and so who

2046
01:36:48,000 --> 01:36:52,839
Speaker 7: you marry is important, and so I am so glad

2047
01:36:53,160 --> 01:36:57,080
Speaker 7: that you are surrendered that the timing of it you're

2048
01:36:57,160 --> 01:37:00,360
Speaker 7: leaving to God. Like I'm gonna be praying for you

2049
01:37:00,840 --> 01:37:03,960
Speaker 7: and your journey and keeping in touch and following up

2050
01:37:04,000 --> 01:37:07,720
Speaker 7: with you. But I just know that some women, and

2051
01:37:07,880 --> 01:37:09,800
Speaker 7: this is not to you, but some of the women

2052
01:37:09,880 --> 01:37:13,559
Speaker 7: that inbox me and the stories that they that they share,

2053
01:37:14,160 --> 01:37:17,160
Speaker 7: I know that sometimes you know, I read this book

2054
01:37:17,280 --> 01:37:20,879
Speaker 7: on dating by someone I can't I can't remember who exactly,

2055
01:37:21,000 --> 01:37:22,640
Speaker 7: but they mentioned has to.

2056
01:37:22,800 --> 01:37:23,960
Speaker 3: Live your promise by doctor.

2057
01:37:26,200 --> 01:37:32,720
Speaker 4: That's exactly it. But it's fday together, that's exactly exactly. Yes,

2058
01:37:32,960 --> 01:37:35,920
Speaker 4: But it literally talked about how women have more demands

2059
01:37:36,760 --> 01:37:38,400
Speaker 4: than men do when men.

2060
01:37:38,560 --> 01:37:41,519
Speaker 7: When men go on a date, it's it's like a

2061
01:37:41,640 --> 01:37:43,320
Speaker 7: lot easier for them to be like, yeah, I'll go

2062
01:37:43,360 --> 01:37:45,519
Speaker 7: on a second date. For women, we've got a lot

2063
01:37:45,600 --> 01:37:48,599
Speaker 7: to kind of check off. And so I just had

2064
01:37:48,640 --> 01:37:50,840
Speaker 7: to check in with God to make sure that my

2065
01:37:51,080 --> 01:37:53,160
Speaker 7: list was fully his. But I love what you said

2066
01:37:53,160 --> 01:37:56,960
Speaker 7: about the hardening of the heart and that in that area,

2067
01:37:57,240 --> 01:37:59,280
Speaker 7: if God wants to soften your heart.

2068
01:37:59,439 --> 01:38:02,040
Speaker 4: Either way, nothing you can do about it. Either way.

2069
01:38:02,040 --> 01:38:05,120
Speaker 4: I think I'm so excited Jonah what God is doing

2070
01:38:05,280 --> 01:38:07,360
Speaker 4: and your ain't nothing you can do about it?

2071
01:38:07,439 --> 01:38:11,479
Speaker 1: God, Jo tell back on shore. Yeah, instead finished the

2072
01:38:11,640 --> 01:38:13,240
Speaker 1: signing sign Whether you want to.

2073
01:38:13,400 --> 01:38:15,120
Speaker 2: Or not, well, I want to. I want to. I

2074
01:38:15,200 --> 01:38:17,040
Speaker 2: want to give you opportunity. Since you knew I was

2075
01:38:17,080 --> 01:38:18,640
Speaker 2: getting marketing and talking about me to reason why we

2076
01:38:18,680 --> 01:38:21,439
Speaker 2: done got together. Talking about the reason, I said, she's

2077
01:38:21,439 --> 01:38:23,400
Speaker 2: good at marketing, and she's like and they do run together,

2078
01:38:23,520 --> 01:38:25,519
Speaker 2: you know, dang well and counsel us to do nothing

2079
01:38:25,600 --> 01:38:25,880
Speaker 2: about it.

2080
01:38:26,479 --> 01:38:28,760
Speaker 1: I was like, I just say, y'all, but we have

2081
01:38:28,960 --> 01:38:32,960
Speaker 1: changed wise camp. No, No, you took my manifestation.

2082
01:38:34,520 --> 01:38:35,400
Speaker 4: I'm gonna hold you to it.

2083
01:38:35,479 --> 01:38:37,280
Speaker 2: Well, you're gonna get it back this time. Give it

2084
01:38:37,360 --> 01:38:39,599
Speaker 2: back to you're you'renna say two years and it's gonna

2085
01:38:39,600 --> 01:38:39,960
Speaker 2: be one year.

2086
01:38:40,040 --> 01:38:41,439
Speaker 3: No, throw me something something.

2087
01:38:42,080 --> 01:38:44,800
Speaker 2: You're gonna be married and gna be married in one year?

2088
01:38:45,520 --> 01:38:47,760
Speaker 1: Oh, married, I'll be iful be married in one year.

2089
01:38:47,880 --> 01:38:49,759
Speaker 1: Back on here, me and me and my husband.

2090
01:38:49,840 --> 01:38:52,519
Speaker 7: Okay, you heard it here first, you're gonna be on here,

2091
01:38:52,600 --> 01:38:53,519
Speaker 7: We're gonna be on a double day.

2092
01:38:53,520 --> 01:38:54,200
Speaker 2: Would you'll be married?

2093
01:38:54,200 --> 01:38:55,080
Speaker 3: In one year, I'll be married.

2094
01:38:55,240 --> 01:38:56,120
Speaker 2: Is that not too soon for you?

2095
01:38:56,600 --> 01:38:57,519
Speaker 3: No, that's not too soon.

2096
01:38:57,600 --> 01:38:59,280
Speaker 1: Okay, But I want to say this to the ladies,

2097
01:38:59,280 --> 01:39:02,439
Speaker 1: and we're getting my my butok because women have a

2098
01:39:02,479 --> 01:39:05,760
Speaker 1: lot of questions on how to, and I get them.

2099
01:39:05,800 --> 01:39:11,680
Speaker 1: They're so overhearing stories and tools, but how to? How

2100
01:39:11,800 --> 01:39:14,240
Speaker 1: to know when you are in God's will when it

2101
01:39:14,320 --> 01:39:18,840
Speaker 1: comes to your single hood and you are in his

2102
01:39:19,160 --> 01:39:24,439
Speaker 1: peace is when you can be around married couples, committed couples,

2103
01:39:24,880 --> 01:39:29,880
Speaker 1: women with great men, women with excellent husbands, and you

2104
01:39:30,040 --> 01:39:33,040
Speaker 1: don't feel a bit of envy or jealousy. You feel

2105
01:39:33,160 --> 01:39:36,040
Speaker 1: at peace with who and where you are as a woman.

2106
01:39:36,120 --> 01:39:40,840
Speaker 1: That's God's peace. That's when I knew. I said, yeah,

2107
01:39:41,680 --> 01:39:45,479
Speaker 1: I'm too peaceful here with all of them. I don't

2108
01:39:45,640 --> 01:39:48,400
Speaker 1: feel you said earlier, ties, I don't feel like what

2109
01:39:48,479 --> 01:39:50,519
Speaker 1: happened to me? God? I see what you're doing with

2110
01:39:50,640 --> 01:39:53,599
Speaker 1: other people, or did you forget about me? I feel

2111
01:39:53,960 --> 01:39:58,479
Speaker 1: so grateful in my singlehood to be in my calling

2112
01:39:59,200 --> 01:40:02,280
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful for y'all and LA terrorists obviously

2113
01:40:02,320 --> 01:40:05,000
Speaker 1: because we've had we've been here together who have found

2114
01:40:05,120 --> 01:40:08,920
Speaker 1: his purpose, partner and wife. I just did a pod

2115
01:40:09,080 --> 01:40:11,439
Speaker 1: where one the guy said, Doc, every time you talk,

2116
01:40:11,600 --> 01:40:14,120
Speaker 1: you bring in God, you bring in scripture. I said,

2117
01:40:15,040 --> 01:40:17,280
Speaker 1: that's me. I can't help it, like it's that's me.

2118
01:40:17,600 --> 01:40:23,439
Speaker 1: I'm God, I'm principal, I'm scripture. I'm not religion, but

2119
01:40:23,560 --> 01:40:27,880
Speaker 1: I am God. But for the people like him who said,

2120
01:40:27,960 --> 01:40:29,800
Speaker 1: but I don't believe in God, So how would you

2121
01:40:29,920 --> 01:40:30,240
Speaker 1: help me?

2122
01:40:31,280 --> 01:40:31,760
Speaker 3: How would you?

2123
01:40:31,880 --> 01:40:34,080
Speaker 1: I said, listen, if I have to use God's name

2124
01:40:35,280 --> 01:40:39,400
Speaker 1: to convince you that I'm manipulating you, because God is omnipresent,

2125
01:40:39,760 --> 01:40:43,360
Speaker 1: He's in everything. So even right now, when you're not believing,

2126
01:40:44,280 --> 01:40:46,920
Speaker 1: you experiencing God. There's no way you can't.

2127
01:40:47,160 --> 01:40:50,800
Speaker 2: Could You got to not believe in something, So you

2128
01:40:50,960 --> 01:40:55,560
Speaker 2: not believing in God himself, and your unbelievable.

2129
01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:58,600
Speaker 1: So there you go. And so this book is for

2130
01:40:58,840 --> 01:41:02,639
Speaker 1: the unbelievers and the believers, And it's not to project

2131
01:41:02,720 --> 01:41:06,000
Speaker 1: anything onto you. It's to give you principles that align

2132
01:41:06,120 --> 01:41:08,360
Speaker 1: your three part house. The book is created in three parts.

2133
01:41:08,400 --> 01:41:10,040
Speaker 1: How you think, how you feel, and how you behave

2134
01:41:10,320 --> 01:41:13,000
Speaker 1: and when your three part house is an alignment manifestation

2135
01:41:13,520 --> 01:41:16,479
Speaker 1: and peace and wealth, the real wealth, not just money,

2136
01:41:16,560 --> 01:41:19,360
Speaker 1: the wealth of self mastery, the wealth of joy, of peace,

2137
01:41:19,400 --> 01:41:24,120
Speaker 1: of relationships, of you manifesting your dreams, your desires. That

2138
01:41:24,280 --> 01:41:27,040
Speaker 1: stuff manifests at the point of agreement when two or

2139
01:41:27,439 --> 01:41:31,200
Speaker 1: more agree there is God. God is manifestation. And so

2140
01:41:31,800 --> 01:41:34,280
Speaker 1: you know, that's what it talks about. I even give

2141
01:41:34,280 --> 01:41:36,200
Speaker 1: a little glimpse of how I went from the hood

2142
01:41:36,240 --> 01:41:38,040
Speaker 1: to the hills. A lot of stuff I don't talk

2143
01:41:38,080 --> 01:41:42,840
Speaker 1: about in any interview I've done. I talk about reprogramming, restructuring,

2144
01:41:42,960 --> 01:41:46,720
Speaker 1: we talk about you know, the whole book literally is

2145
01:41:46,960 --> 01:41:49,479
Speaker 1: live your promise. It's about the wilderness and the promised land.

2146
01:41:49,520 --> 01:41:51,560
Speaker 1: And I use the Moses journey as a metaphor in

2147
01:41:51,600 --> 01:41:54,680
Speaker 1: the whole book. And I talk about obedience and discipline

2148
01:41:54,920 --> 01:41:58,960
Speaker 1: being the nucleus in the skeleton to blessings. If you

2149
01:41:59,000 --> 01:42:02,479
Speaker 1: don't have that, God's bless can't pour out. They're always

2150
01:42:02,479 --> 01:42:04,600
Speaker 1: waging in the download section for you. So God is

2151
01:42:04,720 --> 01:42:06,400
Speaker 1: so amazing that he says, baby, I'll put it right

2152
01:42:06,439 --> 01:42:08,280
Speaker 1: here for you. As soon as you get into obedience

2153
01:42:08,360 --> 01:42:11,599
Speaker 1: discipline download for you. I talk about that in the book.

2154
01:42:11,640 --> 01:42:13,880
Speaker 1: I talk about how the wilderness and the Promised land

2155
01:42:14,040 --> 01:42:16,840
Speaker 1: it's a state of mind. It's not a landing place.

2156
01:42:17,200 --> 01:42:20,120
Speaker 1: It's where you will put your mind at You know,

2157
01:42:20,240 --> 01:42:22,960
Speaker 1: we serve God with what our mind as a man thing,

2158
01:42:23,320 --> 01:42:25,559
Speaker 1: so is he I talk about you know, your thoughts

2159
01:42:25,960 --> 01:42:30,120
Speaker 1: are what you become. I talk about faith being an

2160
01:42:30,120 --> 01:42:33,519
Speaker 1: action word and how doubt focuses on the problem, but

2161
01:42:33,680 --> 01:42:37,160
Speaker 1: faith focuses on the solution, and which you focus on magnifies.

2162
01:42:37,439 --> 01:42:39,360
Speaker 1: And then I don't just talk about it and our

2163
01:42:39,479 --> 01:42:43,160
Speaker 1: land on this, I actually give you the how to.

2164
01:42:44,520 --> 01:42:47,439
Speaker 1: I also have after each chapter, we have a toolkit

2165
01:42:47,960 --> 01:42:50,439
Speaker 1: that tells you exactly how to do it. Take inventory

2166
01:42:50,479 --> 01:42:52,639
Speaker 1: of this, take inventory of that, meditate for this long,

2167
01:42:52,720 --> 01:42:55,680
Speaker 1: say these affirmations. So this is a book that you

2168
01:42:55,800 --> 01:42:58,000
Speaker 1: get to get tools, but you get to get the

2169
01:42:58,320 --> 01:43:01,640
Speaker 1: how to do every tour that I give you. So

2170
01:43:01,720 --> 01:43:04,400
Speaker 1: I'm walking you through it, I'm holding your hand through it.

2171
01:43:04,800 --> 01:43:06,880
Speaker 1: But you're also getting that doctor Brian tough love. Because

2172
01:43:06,880 --> 01:43:08,760
Speaker 1: I'm not playing about you in this book. This is

2173
01:43:08,800 --> 01:43:12,439
Speaker 1: about your healing. It's about you growing. It's pretty much

2174
01:43:12,520 --> 01:43:15,000
Speaker 1: like you getting an in book session with me as

2175
01:43:15,040 --> 01:43:16,599
Speaker 1: I do with my clients. It's a lot of love,

2176
01:43:17,120 --> 01:43:19,240
Speaker 1: but it's a lot of calling you out and aligning

2177
01:43:19,320 --> 01:43:21,080
Speaker 1: you to where you need to be, to be where

2178
01:43:21,120 --> 01:43:22,680
Speaker 1: you want to be, not where I want you to be.

2179
01:43:22,840 --> 01:43:28,200
Speaker 1: So I'm excited because when I go to read this book,

2180
01:43:28,240 --> 01:43:28,920
Speaker 1: this is why I don't.

2181
01:43:29,040 --> 01:43:29,320
Speaker 3: I don't.

2182
01:43:29,600 --> 01:43:31,519
Speaker 1: I got to get to the point of reading excerbs

2183
01:43:31,560 --> 01:43:35,519
Speaker 1: while I'm doing interviews. Yeah, and I'm not and I'm

2184
01:43:35,560 --> 01:43:38,560
Speaker 1: not an emotional woman. I'm Vulnerable'm just not emotional. But

2185
01:43:38,640 --> 01:43:42,280
Speaker 1: I get emotional every time because it's there's so much

2186
01:43:43,760 --> 01:43:45,960
Speaker 1: God is so in this book. Not that he wasn't

2187
01:43:45,960 --> 01:43:49,519
Speaker 1: in Mental Detalk minter Detous was twelve years ago. This

2188
01:43:49,720 --> 01:43:55,000
Speaker 1: is doctor Bryant now, and it's it's like, and I'll

2189
01:43:55,000 --> 01:43:57,439
Speaker 1: say this, God has hid me like he did David

2190
01:43:58,080 --> 01:44:00,679
Speaker 1: for all these years in my singleme, and I finally

2191
01:44:00,800 --> 01:44:06,120
Speaker 1: understand why, so that I can be completely clairvoyant, completely

2192
01:44:06,320 --> 01:44:08,439
Speaker 1: God driven and vertical and who I need to be

2193
01:44:08,840 --> 01:44:11,920
Speaker 1: to serve y'all. That is exactly why I am taking

2194
01:44:11,960 --> 01:44:15,680
Speaker 1: a big hit and sacrifice to serve y'all. So go

2195
01:44:15,840 --> 01:44:19,400
Speaker 1: get this book and don't just read it because knowledge

2196
01:44:19,479 --> 01:44:22,200
Speaker 1: is not power, but the implementation of knowledge is so

2197
01:44:22,320 --> 01:44:25,120
Speaker 1: I love y'all. I just want I want you happy,

2198
01:44:25,960 --> 01:44:28,920
Speaker 1: I want you hold you you whole. I want you

2199
01:44:29,040 --> 01:44:32,160
Speaker 1: in peace. But I don't want you to feel like

2200
01:44:32,200 --> 01:44:35,160
Speaker 1: you have to be perfect in your wholeness because.

2201
01:44:34,880 --> 01:44:37,000
Speaker 2: I as before you say this. When the book come

2202
01:44:37,040 --> 01:44:40,000
Speaker 2: out May the twelve pre order has already started.

2203
01:44:40,240 --> 01:44:40,920
Speaker 3: Order has already started.

2204
01:44:40,920 --> 01:44:42,960
Speaker 1: It's on every platform where you can purchase books. It's

2205
01:44:42,960 --> 01:44:45,280
Speaker 1: also an audiobook and to.

2206
01:44:45,320 --> 01:44:46,240
Speaker 2: Do your own audiobook.

2207
01:44:46,400 --> 01:44:48,920
Speaker 1: Baby, it's my voice. Yeah, I'm going to need you

2208
01:44:49,040 --> 01:44:50,519
Speaker 1: to sleep with this book.

2209
01:44:51,680 --> 01:44:53,600
Speaker 5: So if you've been waiting a book a session with

2210
01:44:54,200 --> 01:44:56,200
Speaker 5: doctor Bryan says it's so hard to get a session

2211
01:44:56,280 --> 01:44:57,800
Speaker 5: with her, then go ahead and.

2212
01:44:58,320 --> 01:44:59,639
Speaker 3: Book book a session.

2213
01:45:00,040 --> 01:45:03,000
Speaker 5: It is a book accession. And so don't take my

2214
01:45:03,080 --> 01:45:04,439
Speaker 5: little line I was trying to. I was trying to

2215
01:45:04,439 --> 01:45:06,320
Speaker 5: build up on it. You're gonna take my thunder so

2216
01:45:06,439 --> 01:45:07,160
Speaker 5: book assession.

2217
01:45:07,680 --> 01:45:10,200
Speaker 1: You know you still took my p my manifestation, so

2218
01:45:10,640 --> 01:45:13,560
Speaker 1: you would get it to me technically, technically.

2219
01:45:13,360 --> 01:45:15,920
Speaker 2: And I said it was going. We spoke, and I spoke.

2220
01:45:15,960 --> 01:45:17,559
Speaker 2: In a year, you're gonna get You're gonna be married,

2221
01:45:17,640 --> 01:45:19,439
Speaker 2: or at least have a ring on your finger. Jesus name.

2222
01:45:19,920 --> 01:45:21,120
Speaker 2: Grab that box right there.

2223
01:45:21,240 --> 01:45:22,960
Speaker 5: I want you to grab the box off the table

2224
01:45:22,960 --> 01:45:26,559
Speaker 5: and bring it into your lap, and they open it up.

2225
01:45:26,600 --> 01:45:28,000
Speaker 5: There's a key and a paper.

2226
01:45:28,280 --> 01:45:30,000
Speaker 2: There is, mister and missus. There it is.

2227
01:45:30,520 --> 01:45:33,360
Speaker 5: And so I want you to write a key to love,

2228
01:45:33,600 --> 01:45:36,640
Speaker 5: something you want to leave with the audience. You write it,

2229
01:45:37,560 --> 01:45:40,680
Speaker 5: take a marker and write down just a brief little statement.

2230
01:45:40,880 --> 01:45:43,880
Speaker 1: A model inside it says, I have found the one

2231
01:45:44,200 --> 01:45:49,719
Speaker 1: whom my soul loves, my soul love. Okay, so I'm writing.

2232
01:45:49,760 --> 01:45:50,400
Speaker 1: I'm writing just.

2233
01:45:50,479 --> 01:45:51,800
Speaker 3: Anything you love.

2234
01:45:51,920 --> 01:45:54,760
Speaker 5: One word, one statement, whatever sentence that you want to leave.

2235
01:45:54,840 --> 01:45:57,519
Speaker 5: There's something that you want to leave as a key

2236
01:45:57,840 --> 01:45:59,640
Speaker 5: to love. And then after you do that, I'll have

2237
01:45:59,760 --> 01:46:02,280
Speaker 5: you need it, explain it briefly, and then hang it

2238
01:46:02,400 --> 01:46:04,240
Speaker 5: on the hook up there on the wall.

2239
01:46:04,360 --> 01:46:10,800
Speaker 3: I'm done. That was quick, God, God, that's it. That's all.

2240
01:46:11,840 --> 01:46:13,880
Speaker 1: This is the This is the re People make it

2241
01:46:13,960 --> 01:46:15,040
Speaker 1: more difficult than it is.

2242
01:46:15,120 --> 01:46:17,560
Speaker 3: I'm trying to tell you this is the recipe.

2243
01:46:18,439 --> 01:46:25,560
Speaker 1: I've never been more peaceful, more happy, more at ease, unwaivered, discipline,

2244
01:46:26,120 --> 01:46:29,880
Speaker 1: vertical on who I am solid, I'm not confused, I'm clear.

2245
01:46:30,439 --> 01:46:32,920
Speaker 1: If it happens I'm grateful it's supposed to. I just

2246
01:46:33,040 --> 01:46:36,400
Speaker 1: had to prune a relationship of a friend of many,

2247
01:46:36,479 --> 01:46:39,080
Speaker 1: many years. I said, God, I don't like the way

2248
01:46:39,120 --> 01:46:45,120
Speaker 1: it feels, but God, I'm so grateful because if it happened,

2249
01:46:45,720 --> 01:46:49,080
Speaker 1: you did it. And when you're doing stuff, that means

2250
01:46:49,120 --> 01:46:52,080
Speaker 1: you are paying me attention. And there is nothing more

2251
01:46:52,160 --> 01:46:54,240
Speaker 1: than I want than attention from my God.

2252
01:46:54,720 --> 01:46:55,160
Speaker 2: That's good.

2253
01:46:55,360 --> 01:46:55,640
Speaker 3: That's it.

2254
01:46:56,040 --> 01:46:57,439
Speaker 2: So I want you to take that and go hang

2255
01:46:57,520 --> 01:47:00,000
Speaker 2: it up on the find an available hook hang it up.

2256
01:47:02,800 --> 01:47:05,280
Speaker 5: Well, listen, doctor, it's been amazing. Make sure y'all go

2257
01:47:05,400 --> 01:47:09,280
Speaker 5: get the book. Live your promise. It's a book that's

2258
01:47:09,280 --> 01:47:11,479
Speaker 5: going to impact your life. Thank you so much.

2259
01:47:11,600 --> 01:47:13,840
Speaker 2: I know how hard it is to write a book,

2260
01:47:14,000 --> 01:47:16,000
Speaker 2: and you literally bleed on the pages.

2261
01:47:16,479 --> 01:47:19,200
Speaker 5: Uh, and you what're so dope. What you said is

2262
01:47:19,240 --> 01:47:21,000
Speaker 5: that when you go back and you actually read your

2263
01:47:21,000 --> 01:47:22,320
Speaker 5: own stuff, you're like, whoa this is?

2264
01:47:22,680 --> 01:47:22,880
Speaker 2: You know?

2265
01:47:23,080 --> 01:47:25,439
Speaker 5: And you you you prefaced it by saying, I'm not

2266
01:47:25,439 --> 01:47:28,400
Speaker 5: an emotional person, but this right here makes me emotional. Yeah,

2267
01:47:28,439 --> 01:47:30,920
Speaker 5: because the vulnerabilities that are shared in the book and

2268
01:47:31,120 --> 01:47:33,400
Speaker 5: just the knowledge and what you believe. It's like what

2269
01:47:33,479 --> 01:47:35,640
Speaker 5: happens as a writer that you'll write something and you

2270
01:47:35,720 --> 01:47:38,000
Speaker 5: can see the people that's reading it that's going to

2271
01:47:38,040 --> 01:47:39,320
Speaker 5: get healed and restored from it.

2272
01:47:39,640 --> 01:47:41,000
Speaker 2: And so you're laboring.

2273
01:47:41,479 --> 01:47:43,960
Speaker 5: You're going through labor pains with what was birth in

2274
01:47:44,080 --> 01:47:46,040
Speaker 5: the book, but also what's going to be birth through

2275
01:47:46,080 --> 01:47:46,439
Speaker 5: the book.

2276
01:47:46,840 --> 01:47:48,240
Speaker 2: And so that's what's taking a break.

2277
01:47:48,280 --> 01:47:51,200
Speaker 1: Got to add because as because I keep reading it

2278
01:47:51,240 --> 01:47:52,280
Speaker 1: over and over again, I know if you did that

2279
01:47:52,320 --> 01:47:54,120
Speaker 1: with your book, to be reading it, open and read it.

2280
01:47:54,720 --> 01:47:56,360
Speaker 2: When you do the audiobook, you reading the whole thing.

2281
01:47:57,040 --> 01:47:59,479
Speaker 3: I was crying several times. Do that, my poor engineer.

2282
01:47:59,800 --> 01:48:02,519
Speaker 3: But you said birth.

2283
01:48:03,120 --> 01:48:08,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have rebirthed myself so many times reading this book.

2284
01:48:09,160 --> 01:48:11,240
Speaker 1: I have read it and went to Scripture and said,

2285
01:48:11,280 --> 01:48:14,760
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I

2286
01:48:14,880 --> 01:48:18,360
Speaker 1: have done the tools in there myself, and I'm going wow.

2287
01:48:19,040 --> 01:48:22,760
Speaker 1: So the rebirthing is real because you know, no one

2288
01:48:22,840 --> 01:48:25,120
Speaker 1: person heals alone, and what God.

2289
01:48:25,120 --> 01:48:28,000
Speaker 3: Moves through you, he gives to you good to bad.

2290
01:48:28,400 --> 01:48:30,240
Speaker 1: We got to be really thoughtful on what we're moving

2291
01:48:30,320 --> 01:48:33,080
Speaker 1: through ourselves, and that's why he talks about the power

2292
01:48:33,080 --> 01:48:34,800
Speaker 1: of the tongue and speaking and all that stuff. We

2293
01:48:34,840 --> 01:48:36,559
Speaker 1: got to have awareness of what we're speaking and how

2294
01:48:36,600 --> 01:48:39,439
Speaker 1: we're speaking and not getting weary and well doing.

2295
01:48:41,280 --> 01:48:45,479
Speaker 7: You will read, you will, you will if you faint not,

2296
01:48:46,439 --> 01:48:47,840
Speaker 7: James said, shall don't think.

2297
01:48:48,840 --> 01:48:51,719
Speaker 2: Don't think, y'all, well, listen, Thank you so much for blessing.

2298
01:48:51,760 --> 01:48:55,240
Speaker 5: The yellow couch made the love you share today outlived

2299
01:48:55,320 --> 01:48:56,080
Speaker 5: the season you're in.

2300
01:48:56,680 --> 01:48:59,519
Speaker 4: May it carry you through the days when words are.

2301
01:48:59,560 --> 01:49:02,920
Speaker 2: Few and faith has to do the talking. Y'all give

2302
01:49:03,000 --> 01:49:05,519
Speaker 2: it for my friend, doctor Cheyenne Bryant.

2303
01:49:05,600 --> 01:49:05,800
Speaker 6: Y'all.

2304
01:49:06,960 --> 01:49:12,000
Speaker 5: Ladarian thrust it suddenly into child protective services in twenty fifteen,

2305
01:49:12,680 --> 01:49:17,320
Speaker 5: my nephew, black a boy. The likelihood have been adopted

2306
01:49:17,360 --> 01:49:22,599
Speaker 5: outside of kinship slim to none? Rmione, sixteen years old,

2307
01:49:22,920 --> 01:49:26,479
Speaker 5: black a boy with five years in the Falster care

2308
01:49:26,560 --> 01:49:28,200
Speaker 5: system before I even knew his name.

2309
01:49:29,040 --> 01:49:32,680
Speaker 2: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

2310
01:49:33,360 --> 01:49:34,320
Speaker 2: Slim to none.

2311
01:49:35,880 --> 01:49:38,840
Speaker 5: While Ladarian and Ourmiani were trying to survive and barely

2312
01:49:38,920 --> 01:49:42,320
Speaker 5: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded Falseter care system, I

2313
01:49:42,479 --> 01:49:45,760
Speaker 5: was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been

2314
01:49:45,840 --> 01:49:47,960
Speaker 5: a single father with a daughter who at that point

2315
01:49:48,080 --> 01:49:50,439
Speaker 5: was doing well in college. It was my time to

2316
01:49:50,479 --> 01:49:57,040
Speaker 5: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

2317
01:49:58,000 --> 01:50:00,920
Speaker 5: There are just too many of our are black children

2318
01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:04,240
Speaker 5: stuck in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falster

2319
01:50:04,360 --> 01:50:08,760
Speaker 5: care system. In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarim.

2320
01:50:09,400 --> 01:50:11,800
Speaker 5: Fast forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to

2321
01:50:11,920 --> 01:50:14,280
Speaker 5: this other young king, but I felt God instructed me

2322
01:50:14,520 --> 01:50:17,640
Speaker 5: to adopt them. Also on I obbe starting over with

2323
01:50:17,800 --> 01:50:20,800
Speaker 5: parenting should have been enough. Right, Working with various foster

2324
01:50:20,920 --> 01:50:23,720
Speaker 5: care and adoption agencies to help bring awareness to the

2325
01:50:23,800 --> 01:50:27,160
Speaker 5: countless young Black kings and the Falster care system should

2326
01:50:27,200 --> 01:50:28,680
Speaker 5: have decreased my agitation.

2327
01:50:28,920 --> 01:50:29,040
Speaker 2: Right.

2328
01:50:29,840 --> 01:50:32,400
Speaker 5: Joining the board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and

2329
01:50:32,600 --> 01:50:36,080
Speaker 5: organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in

2330
01:50:36,160 --> 01:50:38,679
Speaker 5: false care should have led to some type of resolve.

2331
01:50:38,800 --> 01:50:38,960
Speaker 6: Right.

2332
01:50:39,360 --> 01:50:43,360
Speaker 2: No, not at all. None of it felt like I

2333
01:50:43,520 --> 01:50:44,320
Speaker 2: had done enough.

2334
01:50:45,439 --> 01:50:49,479
Speaker 5: I now realized that every one of those experiences was

2335
01:50:49,600 --> 01:50:52,280
Speaker 5: land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

2336
01:50:53,200 --> 01:50:54,040
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal.

2337
01:50:54,960 --> 01:50:57,599
Speaker 5: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

2338
01:50:57,680 --> 01:51:00,840
Speaker 5: home for foster boys. Our first local will be in

2339
01:51:00,920 --> 01:51:03,880
Speaker 5: the Dallas Fort Word Metroplex. We will utilize the whole

2340
01:51:04,000 --> 01:51:08,559
Speaker 5: person approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

2341
01:51:08,840 --> 01:51:12,680
Speaker 5: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless.

2342
01:51:12,240 --> 01:51:15,200
Speaker 2: Options that they thought were impossible.

2343
01:51:16,360 --> 01:51:18,679
Speaker 5: Though the young Kings will attend the local public schools

2344
01:51:18,720 --> 01:51:21,800
Speaker 5: that are in proximity to King of Royale, our at

2345
01:51:21,880 --> 01:51:25,679
Speaker 5: home curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts,

2346
01:51:25,880 --> 01:51:30,640
Speaker 5: attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted

2347
01:51:30,720 --> 01:51:35,400
Speaker 5: discussions about current events and even relevant historical contexts, Introducing

2348
01:51:35,479 --> 01:51:38,599
Speaker 5: them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our

2349
01:51:38,760 --> 01:51:40,600
Speaker 5: animals on our form.

2350
01:51:40,560 --> 01:51:41,639
Speaker 2: And on site stables.

2351
01:51:42,400 --> 01:51:45,800
Speaker 5: We just launched our startup capital campaign with the goal

2352
01:51:45,840 --> 01:51:47,479
Speaker 5: of raising two point eight million dollars.

2353
01:51:47,520 --> 01:51:49,960
Speaker 2: Now why two point eight million dollars? Well.

2354
01:51:50,000 --> 01:51:52,360
Speaker 5: In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in which

2355
01:51:52,400 --> 01:51:56,320
Speaker 5: I performed random acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community.

2356
01:51:56,560 --> 01:51:58,640
Speaker 2: One of the most notable successes.

2357
01:51:58,360 --> 01:52:01,400
Speaker 5: Was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty

2358
01:52:01,600 --> 01:52:05,840
Speaker 5: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is

2359
01:52:05,880 --> 01:52:08,120
Speaker 5: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in

2360
01:52:08,240 --> 01:52:12,320
Speaker 5: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So

2361
01:52:12,520 --> 01:52:16,479
Speaker 5: throughout the years. With much remorse, I reflect that I'm

2362
01:52:16,520 --> 01:52:19,519
Speaker 5: not maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time

2363
01:52:20,120 --> 01:52:23,040
Speaker 5: just ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we

2364
01:52:23,120 --> 01:52:26,559
Speaker 5: would have raised at least two point eight million dollars

2365
01:52:26,720 --> 01:52:29,200
Speaker 5: that could have really established long term support for the

2366
01:52:29,240 --> 01:52:32,960
Speaker 5: homeless community, or at least started a long term initiative

2367
01:52:33,040 --> 01:52:33,360
Speaker 5: to do so.

2368
01:52:34,439 --> 01:52:38,519
Speaker 2: This is my do over, This is our new beginning.

2369
01:52:38,720 --> 01:52:42,200
Speaker 5: Together, we can attack this at the root by specifically

2370
01:52:42,320 --> 01:52:47,440
Speaker 5: helping our homeless Black boys who are already disproportionately represented

2371
01:52:47,640 --> 01:52:49,320
Speaker 5: in the American fossil care system.

2372
01:52:50,000 --> 01:52:51,240
Speaker 2: I'm a Teri Sarwickfield.

2373
01:52:51,240 --> 01:52:54,639
Speaker 5: I've been nominated for three regional Emmys documenting my work

2374
01:52:54,720 --> 01:52:57,639
Speaker 5: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

2375
01:52:58,200 --> 01:53:02,639
Speaker 5: Despite those accolades, the greatest award for me is truly

2376
01:53:02,800 --> 01:53:08,200
Speaker 5: providing the infrastructure for a transformed life. Visit Kingdom Royal

2377
01:53:08,280 --> 01:53:12,000
Speaker 5: dot com for more details, Crown a king and make

2378
01:53:12,040 --> 01:53:22,040
Speaker 5: a donation today. I hope you enjoyed this episode of

2379
01:53:22,080 --> 01:53:26,400
Speaker 5: the Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally

2380
01:53:26,640 --> 01:53:30,679
Speaker 5: and transparently, and don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe

2381
01:53:30,720 --> 01:53:33,360
Speaker 5: to our Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel We're available

2382
01:53:33,400 --> 01:53:36,960
Speaker 5: on Apple podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher. You welcome

2383
01:53:37,000 --> 01:53:40,040
Speaker 5: your support. Simply share our podcasts with your friends and family.