1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: You were listening to the Hammer and Nigel Show. 2 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 2: What we do on this program, Sure, we get you 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 2: up to date with the news of the day. We 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 2: share our thoughts on the news of the day, our opinions, 5 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 2: but we also like to have a lot of fun. 6 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 2: At Saint Patrick's Day, we're drinking green beer, and to 7 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 2: coincide with March Madness, we're doing Hammer in Nigel's stand 8 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 2: up comedy Madness. What have we done in this tournament? 9 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 3: Nige? 10 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: In this tournament, We've compiled sixteen of our favorite stand 11 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 1: up comedians and we put them in a bracket. And 12 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: you you guys, the Hamorrhoids, the Nigerians, the alice holes 13 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: are going to dwindle it down to the number one comedian. 14 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:54,320 Speaker 1: All right, does that make sense? That the final four 15 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 1: and then we're going to find the number one comedian. 16 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 2: So it's a bracketed contest based on your votes. You 17 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 2: can vote on Facebook and Twitter. Make sure you follow 18 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: Hammer and Nigel. So let's go to yesterday's matchup. Let's 19 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 2: get you a winner for yesterday. Yesterday we had the 20 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 2: number eight seed, Jeff Foxworthy. 21 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 4: If you owe the taxidermist more than your annual income, 22 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 4: you might be a redneck. If the UFO Hotline limits 23 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 4: you to one call per day, you might be a redneck. 24 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 4: If directions to your house include turn off the paved. 25 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 3: Road, you might be a redneck. 26 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: Remember how Jeff Foxworthy told us that a fellow comedian said, yeah, 27 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: those redneck jokes aren't gonna work. 28 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 2: You need to come up with a new big. 29 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it was Belzer, right, Oh that's right. 30 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:56,639 Speaker 5: Yeah. 31 00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 2: Jeff Foxworthy, friend of the show, told us on our 32 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 2: program when he was young and doing stand up, Bellzer 33 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 2: brought him back stage of a show. Hey kid, this 34 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 2: redneck stuff isn't. 35 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 1: Going to work. 36 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: Well, I think it has. Jeff Foxworthy took on the 37 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 2: number nine seed Rodney Dangerfield. 38 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 6: Tell you my wife, there's always something you know what. 39 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 6: The other day I called her up, but I said 40 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 6: to a honey, I've been figure last time we had sex. 41 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 6: I'm getting excited. She said, who is this? I'll tell 42 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:28,919 Speaker 6: you my wife. 43 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 3: She never went for me. 44 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 6: But the first time I called her up, she told me, 45 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 6: come on over, there's nobody at home. 46 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 3: I went over. It was nobody at home. My wife. 47 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 6: She drives me nuts. She was afraid of the dog. 48 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 6: She saw me naked nuts. She's afraid of the light. 49 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 3: I tell you, that's all I have. 50 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 2: So that was the matchup yesterday, and adding up the 51 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 2: Facebook and the Twitter totals by sixty to forty percent, 52 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:01,720 Speaker 2: Rodney Dangerfield moves on. The number nine nine seed moves 53 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 2: on in the tournament. Okay, so now we get to 54 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 2: today's matchup, and again you've got until three pm tomorrow 55 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 2: to cast your vote at Hammer and Nigel's Twitter and Facebook. 56 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 2: The number twelve seed, Louis c K. 57 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 3: It's weird. It's weird what I do. 58 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 7: Somebody asked me once if it takes confidence to Nobody 59 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 7: asked me, but I just wanted to talk about this. 60 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:33,160 Speaker 3: If it takes it does take confidence to do this. 61 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 7: It takes of not a general confidence, but it's a 62 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 7: specific kind of you know, there's lots of kinds of confidence. 63 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 3: There's personal confidence. I don't have much of that. 64 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 7: That's personal confidence is like a man wearing white pants. 65 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 3: That takes. 66 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 7: Tremendous confidence and optimism. Really to leave the house in 67 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 7: white pants like it's going to be a great day. 68 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 3: There's gonna be no puddles or pizza. 69 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 2: Nothing, No puddles, no pizza, nothing, all right, So that's 70 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 2: the number twelve seed. 71 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 1: No poop in your pants. 72 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:16,720 Speaker 2: Taking on the number five seed. Jerry Seinfeld. 73 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 5: Oh have you ever seen that guy who's got the 74 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,360 Speaker 5: record for a fattest man in the world. Bob Hughes, 75 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 5: the fattest man in the world, fourteen hundred pounds. Ladies 76 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 5: and gentlemen, the man has let himself go. Come on, Bob, 77 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:34,119 Speaker 5: have a salad here, do something. I used to feel 78 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 5: bad talking about the guy, you know what I mean. 79 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 5: I used to think maybe I would offend somebody in 80 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,480 Speaker 5: the audience, But then I thought about it. You could 81 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 5: be in the audience. You could weigh a thousand pounds 82 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 5: and still go, he's not talking about me. If this 83 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 5: is a man with a serious weight problem, I've got 84 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 5: it under control. 85 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 3: Take off a couple hundred pounds. 86 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,960 Speaker 5: But you realize, two hundred pounds on this guy doesn't 87 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 5: even make a dad. 88 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 3: And if you were a friend of his, what would 89 00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 3: you say to him? 90 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 5: You know, you look right, mom, what are you down 91 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 5: to twelve hundred Now. 92 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 3: You're a round baby. 93 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 1: Oh wow, I've never heard that one before. 94 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 3: That's awesome. 95 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 2: So again we point this out. You're not just voting 96 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 2: on that clip right. You're voting on the entire stand 97 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 2: up comedy body of work stand up comedy body of work, 98 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 2: and voting is live, So go right now to Hammer 99 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 2: and Nigel Show, Twitter and Facebook and vote for the 100 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 2: comedian you want to advance to the next round. Now 101 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 2: in real March madness a twelve meets of five a 102 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 2: lot of the time. Is that going to be the 103 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,680 Speaker 2: case here? Nige, Does Louis c K have a chance 104 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 2: to knock off Jerry Seinfeld? 105 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: Two very different comedians. I feel Louis ck tell stories 106 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, and Seinfeld tells more jokes, and 107 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: like they tell jokes, I think Seinfeld is going to win. 108 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: He's a bigger name than Louis c K. Has a huge. 109 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 2: Could be a generational thing, like the younger brothers might 110 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 2: go Louis c K. Yes, and like the gen xers 111 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 2: and the boomers are like, Jerry's my guy. 112 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: To this day, I still fall asleep to Seinfeld on Netflix. 113 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: Just hit play all hit the sleep timer and I 114 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: will my personal preference Seinfeld, But I don't want to 115 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,600 Speaker 1: influence people. Louis c K is a genius, yes, and 116 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: he's made a meteoric comeback after his controversy. He was 117 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: in the me Too movie, The Me Too Thing. 118 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 2: But we're just talking about their stand up comedy skills. 119 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 2: So cast your vote right now, Facebook and Twitter at 120 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 2: Hammer and Nigel. And this isn't the state of Illinois. 121 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,919 Speaker 2: You can only vote one time, only vote once on 122 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,280 Speaker 2: each platform if you want, and we'll pick a new 123 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 2: winner and have a new matchup tomorrow