1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: So the tsunami did not do damage in the United States, 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: but holy cow eight point eight on the Richter This 3 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: was off the eastern coast of Russia and led to 4 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 1: tsunami warnings across the Hawaiian Islands, pushing people to search 5 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: for higher ground. And then these waves hit the western 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: coast of the United States, California all the way up 7 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: through Oregon, Washington, through British Columbia. Tony Cats Tony CAATs today, 8 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: good to be with you. Find everything I do over 9 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: at tonycats dot com. The live stream is there on 10 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 1: the YouTube, Tony Cats, Facebook, Tony Cats Radio, on the 11 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 1: Twitter ex Tony CAATs. Come be a part of it, 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 1: Bring your friends. It'll be swell. I'm serving punch and pie. 13 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 1: Hold on, I am out of punch and pie. Really 14 00:00:54,440 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: something else this quake, and at least from the early reports, 15 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: doesn't seem to be anything that is overly damaging. It 16 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: just seems to have been a man in the main. 17 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: A lot of people lucked out, and lucked out very 18 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: very well. 19 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:25,680 Speaker 2: I had I can I share this story? This is 20 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 2: over at hot air. Do you mind? Thanks? 21 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: There is a term called mankeeping, so New York Times piece, 22 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 1: Oh don't worry. I'll get to the nonsense of the 23 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:46,479 Speaker 1: New York Times and their Hamas support coming up. It's 24 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: Hamas support. I don't care really where you are. I mean, 25 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: don't get me wrong. I think you should be supportive 26 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: of Israel. But if somehow you're like, we shouldn't get 27 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: financial hate Israel, I'm not gonna stop being your friend 28 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: over it. 29 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 2: I'll disagree with you. 30 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: But if you support Hamas over Israel, well then there's 31 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,559 Speaker 1: a real problem with the people who support Hamas over Israel. 32 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: Those people I don't think I want them in my house. 33 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: If you support terrorists over society, E. You know what, 34 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: we don't have to be friends. I'm cool, I'm down, 35 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: I'm fine, it's all right. Why women are weary of 36 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 1: the emotional labor of mankeeping as male social circles shrink, 37 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,040 Speaker 1: Female partners say they have to meet more social and 38 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: emotional needs. 39 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 2: Interesting, interesting, interesting story. 40 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: So this was a term coined as hot air has 41 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: The story coined by a postdoctoral fellow at Stanford University, 42 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: Angelicapuzio Ferrara, and it describes work women, I should say, 43 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 1: it describes the work women do to meet the social 44 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,639 Speaker 1: and emotional needs of the men in their lives, from 45 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: supporting their partners who daily challenges and inner turmoil, to 46 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: encouraging them to meet up with their friends. 47 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 2: This fascinating stuff. What is this this story? 48 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 1: Allow me just from the baseline, Society, and I swear 49 00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: to you what I'm about to describe sounds like any 50 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: sitcom you've ever watched on TV. 51 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 2: Society came up with a rule that is. 52 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 1: As ignorant as it is pathetic, and that rule is 53 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: happy wife, happy life. Allow me, if you are a 54 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: woman who ascribes to this, I believe that's the right word, 55 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: a happy wife, happy life. I want you to know 56 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: you should die alone now, Tony, Tony, that's who he he. 57 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 2: That's a little rough. You shouldn't You shouldn't do that. 58 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: You want me to clean it up. I'll clean it up. 59 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: No one should marry you, and eventually your life will 60 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: come to an end. Cats, Seriously, you can't be saying 61 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: things like that. It's very rough, Tony, it's very rough stuff. 62 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: You can't do that, all right, I'll try it. I'll 63 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: try it again. What's wrong with you? What in the 64 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: world is that happy wife, happy life? What an awful 65 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 1: thing to say? What a selfish, angry, demoralizing, demeaning, vicious 66 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: thing to say. May I ask why anybody would want 67 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 1: to spend. 68 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 2: A lifetime with you if you have no interest in them. 69 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 1: This concept has been built out in sitcoms in the 70 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: World of Disney and other places culturally, where uh, the 71 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: guy is like, Man, I really want to go to 72 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 1: the bar and see the game of my friends. But 73 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: what am I going to tell my wife? What if 74 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: she's gonna let me? First of all, let you r 75 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: if you are in a relationship as a grown up 76 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: where you have to get other your spouse's permission, you 77 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: are not a grown up and you are not in 78 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: a worthwhile marriage. Now, there could be other things going 79 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: on in your life. Hey, I've got these commitments. No, no, no, 80 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: this is not a time for the game. This is 81 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: a time for family. All those things are true. I've 82 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: been through every one of those things. You're not allowed 83 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 1: to go to watch the game with the guys. May 84 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: I ask why you're married? Did you ever ask yourself 85 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: what was the point of marriage? If somebody could think 86 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,360 Speaker 1: that that is an acceptable thing to say, I have 87 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: been with the same woman for thirty three years, I 88 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,440 Speaker 1: don't say I am a perfect man. I wouldn't argue 89 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: that it's a perfect marriage in that we've had issues. 90 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,679 Speaker 2: All people go through things. 91 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: I will tell you what if you ask me though 92 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 1: it's perfect, I will say it is the most exceptional 93 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: marriage that the world has ever seen. That's how spectacular 94 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 1: I feel. 95 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 2: About my relationship. 96 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: In the thirty three years that we have been together, 97 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: the total amount of times I have checked her phone. 98 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 2: To see her text, to see her emails, to see her. 99 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: Phone calls is zero because I don't understand why any 100 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: rational human being would do that with somebody they've committed to, 101 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: or really anybody else. 102 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,039 Speaker 2: But we hear stories. You see stories, you see people 103 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 2: talking about it. Let me check your phone? What do 104 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 2: you mean, check my phone? Kiss off? I'll go by 105 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 2: find somebody else. 106 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 1: I'm not interested in being in a relationship with somebody 107 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 1: who wants to check my phone as if somehow, as 108 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 1: a grown man, I need to be checked up on. 109 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 2: As a grown woman, think you need to be checked 110 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 2: up on. That's weird as can be. 111 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 1: That is awful, you know, as much as I say 112 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 1: that is not a woman worth marrying. If there's a 113 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: guy who's like I need to know where you are. 114 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,239 Speaker 1: You have to tell me where you are every second 115 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: of the day. 116 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:20,240 Speaker 2: You have to do There are other guys out there, Yes, 117 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 2: there are there are other guys out there. But this 118 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 2: kind of stuff leads to. 119 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: Men not having the same relationships with other men that 120 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: they used to add on to this, all the feminist 121 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: low lifes out there, Oh see that one. I'm not 122 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 1: apologizing for it all. I meant that every bit of that. 123 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: You can quote me on that. The last name is 124 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: spelled katz. Go get them all these feminists who said, well, 125 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:00,040 Speaker 1: it's not okay to have men only spaces, and you 126 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: eliminated the ability to men for men to be around 127 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: other men and speak like men do, and we do, 128 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: and we speak differently than when we're around women. I 129 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: have had to teach this to my kids. The things 130 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 1: you say to your buddies is different than the things 131 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 1: you say to your mother. And if you don't understand 132 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 1: it at first, that's okay. You just have to do it. 133 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: You will learn to understand it, will walk ourselves through it. 134 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 1: But if you take away the spaces for men to 135 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 1: engage with other men, they don't engage with other men, 136 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: but they still have certain levels of need. And now, yes, 137 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: it goes to their spouse because societally, you took them 138 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: away from everybody who was a man who they could 139 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 1: then engage with, share ideas with, you have conversations with, 140 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: have moments with what This doesn't happen. Of course, this happens. 141 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: Of course this happens. And the women who are in 142 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 1: the happier relationships, that happiest of relationships, the happiest of marriages, 143 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: are women who absolutely understand that the men in their 144 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: lives need. 145 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,920 Speaker 2: Their own time to do their own thing. Very often 146 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,080 Speaker 2: the women need to as well. 147 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 1: Now maybe it comes to different levels of degrees different people, 148 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: but they absolutely need their own time with their own 149 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: friends to do their own thing. And if the trust 150 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 1: isn't there, that doesn't happen. So therefore, if there's no trust, 151 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: there is no happiness. You cannot have happiness without trust. 152 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: It doesn't exist. Why are you unhappy with your government? Taxes? Okay, okay, 153 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: put taxes to the side. You don't trust the government. 154 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: That's why there's no happiness with the government. And taxes 155 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: are of course a reason. How can you trust somebody 156 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: who keeps thinking they're allowed. 157 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 2: To steal from you? 158 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: Without trust, you cannot have happiness, can't be done, cannot 159 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: be accomplished. And look at all the work that the 160 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: feminists and others have done to say you can't have trust. 161 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 2: Guys are guilty of this as well. 162 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: And then oh, you can't go out with the guys here, 163 00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: You can't do this with the guys there, toxic masculinity here. 164 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 2: What do you I think is going to happen? 165 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: A twenty twenty one survey says fifteen percent of men 166 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 1: said they didn't have any close friends, up from three 167 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: percent in nineteen ninety. The same report showed that in 168 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: nineteen ninety, nearly half of young men said they would 169 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: reach out to friends when facing a personal issue, and 170 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: then two days, two decades later, just over twenty percent 171 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: said the same. They don't have men in their lives. 172 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: And by the way, young men don't have men in 173 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,040 Speaker 1: their lives who show them how to have conversations, how 174 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: to engage debate, how to bring ideas forward, to be 175 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: able to understand what criticism is, to learn how to 176 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: accept that criticism and grow from it. They aren't taught 177 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: how to be men, and so what happens They become 178 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 1: more and more feminized because they're only around women. You 179 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: know who has this conversation better than anybody, quite literally 180 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:57,079 Speaker 1: better than anybody black men. There are some really incredible 181 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: talks going on on social media. 182 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,319 Speaker 2: We should find and bring them on the show. 183 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: If there's no male figure in your life and you 184 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: are a man and you have only been raised by women, 185 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,199 Speaker 1: you're on this and your grandmother this and your cousin, 186 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 1: and if you only have women around you, how do 187 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 1: you learn to acklic a men? 188 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 2: How does that happen? 189 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: And you could argue, well, Tony, yes, you're bringing this 190 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: up culturally about black men. What I'm saying to you 191 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: is that this story, what it says to me, is 192 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:28,040 Speaker 1: about all men. 193 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 2: They don't have other men in their lives. So therefore young. 194 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: Men don't have other men because dad doesn't have friends over, 195 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: so they can speak to other men and learn how 196 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 1: other men talk and engage. And men are different than women, 197 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,959 Speaker 1: and men also can never be women. That's a unique thing. 198 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 1: I bet you didn't know. Men cannot be women and 199 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 1: women cannot be men, and people who say so are wrong, 200 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: and they're wrong, and they're wrong, and they should be 201 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: told that they're wrong. Interesting story I've got it there 202 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: on the show sheet over at Tony kats dot com 203 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,599 Speaker 1: from hot Air, which goes to a real kind of 204 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: details conversation of this. It's interesting, it's interesting, but all 205 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:13,520 Speaker 1: of this, all of this is what feminism brings. Feminism 206 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: is trash, and so are feminists. 207 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 2: Quote me, I'm Tony Katz.