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Speaker 1: I was battling a cold and I got some old

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Speaker 1: cold medicine and it had a really adverse effect on me.

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Speaker 1: Somewhere along the line, I was convinced I was gonna die.

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Speaker 2: You know how dramatic men are, well.

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Speaker 1: And knows what I thought might be my final moment.

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Speaker 2: I get a phone call.

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Speaker 1: I called her up and confessed that she was the one.

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Speaker 1: Just in case I don't make it, I'm gonna let

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Speaker 1: you know, and I happen to survive.

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Speaker 3: They got Michael John White and Gillian White are on

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Speaker 3: the Dear Future Wifey podcast.

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Speaker 1: Welcome y'all, Happy future, belated birthday. Yeah, it was an

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Speaker 1: episode that you had on your podcast. Not Cheating isn't hard.

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Speaker 1: That's what it's called.

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Speaker 3: If being faithful feels hard, you're not ready for love.

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Speaker 1: It's not a discipline at all. Here's my worst relationship,

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Speaker 1: here's my best relationship before Gillian, and here's where we are.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing that somebody can offer me that touches what

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Speaker 1: we have. What has this mayorage taught you? I didn't

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Speaker 1: know loving someone else could be so self serving. Everything

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Speaker 1: I do is magnified. I surpassed my dreams. Actually, Gilan,

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Speaker 1: what has this.

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Speaker 2: Marriage touch, I can give myself one hundred percent of

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Speaker 2: someone and feel so incredibly safe and protected and seen

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Speaker 2: and loved on this other level that I never thought existed.

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Speaker 2: I feel so just good inside when I think about, like,

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Speaker 2: this is my love, This is who protects me, this

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Speaker 2: is who looks after me. Like if I book something,

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Speaker 2: he's happier for me than if he books something. You know.

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Speaker 2: So coming from my last marriage to this, it's like

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Speaker 2: he talked about here, here and here.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, here, know you, why did I get married one?

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Speaker 3: But why did I get married to an upcoming movie?

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Speaker 3: Why did I get married again?

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Speaker 1: I guarantee you it is the best.

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Speaker 2: And the day he read the script, he was like, oh, this.

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Speaker 1: Is this is the best Tyler. He touched on things

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Speaker 1: that I've never seen in another movie. And one of

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Speaker 1: them that I really point out is that.

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Speaker 3: What started as a search for understanding became a journey

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Speaker 3: of transformation. Every letter that I wrote led me to

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Speaker 3: this day.

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Speaker 1: The day I.

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Speaker 3: Got married November twenty second, twenty twenty five, Dear my forever.

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Speaker 4: Forever is a long time. That's how long I'll love you.

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Speaker 4: Those lyrics echo through every fiber of my soul at

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Speaker 4: the very thought of you.

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Speaker 3: This journey has culminated with you as both the award

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Speaker 3: and the reward of my pursuit of love.

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Speaker 1: You are the award, the.

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Speaker 3: Honor God placed before me, the recognition of growth, healing,

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Speaker 3: and becoming the man I needed to be.

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Speaker 4: And you are the reward, the blessing given after endurance,

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Speaker 4: the gift promised to those who refuse to faint.

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Speaker 3: This isn't just our story, this is for all of us.

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Speaker 3: I'm tear us are Whitfield.

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Speaker 4: I'm Ashley R. Whitfield. Welcome to the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to the Dear Future Wifie Podcast. I'm your host

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Speaker 3: of Terry Sar Whitfield.

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Speaker 5: And I'm Ashley our Whitfield listener.

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Speaker 3: You still shacking up with us? If you're still shacking

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Speaker 3: up with us, come on? Can we get a commitment?

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Speaker 3: Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure you turn

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Speaker 3: on your notification bell. She'd be notified about upcoming episodes.

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Speaker 1: Listen. Can I just say thank you?

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Speaker 3: Thank you to the six hundred and forty thousand people

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Speaker 3: who have subscribed to the Dear Future Wifie Podcast. We're

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Speaker 3: approaching the sixth year anniversary on April the fifteenth, Today

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Speaker 3: is April Fool's Day. So oh, no to say happy

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Speaker 3: April Fools, because some of y'all may have been planning.

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Speaker 1: A full too long.

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Speaker 5: You should say happy birthday to.

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Speaker 3: Me, Happy birthday to you. Oh okay, So let me

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Speaker 3: just say this. So her birthday was yesterday.

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Speaker 5: My birthday was yes.

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Speaker 3: Her birthday was yesterday. I'm Marsh the thirty first, you

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Speaker 3: just have happy birthday to me. My birthday Marsh twenty nine.

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Speaker 5: Well you just it was the day after.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, good happy birthday.

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Speaker 3: What's so dope about us is that both of our

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Speaker 3: birthdays are it's two days apart, and so I think

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Speaker 3: this was very special. We're headed off to at this time,

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Speaker 3: we're probably, yeah, coming back from Jamaica. Yeah, so coming

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Speaker 3: back from Jamaica. At the feeling of this, no, at

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Speaker 3: the point that y'all watching this, we're coming back from Jamaica.

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Speaker 3: Good lord, you talking about stuff in the future. I

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Speaker 3: feel like I'm God, I know the future before. So anyway,

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Speaker 3: so that's what's going on. So happy birthday to you.

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Speaker 3: And I've so let me tell you all this. Last year,

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Speaker 3: around this time, I gave her a gift, and I said,

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Speaker 3: this will be the last birthday that we spend apart

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Speaker 3: because those that have been rocking with us on this journey.

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Speaker 3: Our first date with Ashley was on March the eighteenth,

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Speaker 3: and she and I have been friends for about a

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Speaker 3: year and four months at that point, and after spending

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Speaker 3: our first birthday apart because we weren't locked in yet,

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Speaker 3: we weren't committed to each other. On her birthday on

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Speaker 3: March thirty first, and I said, by this time next year,

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Speaker 3: we'll be married. And so I just vision cast that

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Speaker 3: bad boy, and so I'm glad that it worked all

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Speaker 3: out and worked out for my good.

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Speaker 1: So listen today's guests.

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Speaker 3: I've been so excited to talk to today's guests.

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Speaker 1: They've been married for a lot of years, y'all.

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Speaker 3: And when I get the privilege of sitting down and

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Speaker 3: sitting at the feet of wisdom, I don't take it lightly.

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Speaker 3: So without further ado, welcome to a Dear Future WIFEI Podcast.

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Speaker 3: My homie Michael John White and Gilly and White on.

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Speaker 1: The Dear Future WIFEI Podcast. Welcome y'all this happy future

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Speaker 1: belated birthday.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that's what it is you. Oh okay, see I'm

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Speaker 3: in good hands. I'm a good hands. So listen, y'all

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Speaker 3: been married?

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Speaker 1: How many years? Oh? I forget? Yeah, well the ceremony

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Speaker 1: is about twelve. Yeah, but we got married before that.

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Speaker 1: Sometime we forget what that date is because you know,

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Speaker 1: we've hey, wait a minute, is a actual anniversary past?

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Speaker 1: But which is you know, kind of signal that we

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Speaker 1: write for each other because we both didn't really think

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Speaker 1: about it. We was I think where we started we

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Speaker 1: were beyond married anyway, White say that, yeah, because I

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Speaker 1: mean we bo Yeah, yeah, we had been married before,

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Speaker 1: but where we even started was beyond where we were

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Speaker 1: in our marriages, and we knew it was just you know,

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Speaker 1: this was it. We met twenty nine years ago. Uh

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Speaker 1: and well you know we uh some time a partner

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Speaker 1: got back together and never looked back look back.

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Speaker 3: So y'all met twenty nine years ago? When y'all met,

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Speaker 3: were y'all dating at that time?

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Speaker 1: Or what your past friends?

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Speaker 2: Or in the club?

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Speaker 1: I bet the club? And what you do? You shot

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Speaker 1: your shot? Well? I get would it be? Yeah, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: something like that.

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Speaker 2: We both loved to day's.

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Speaker 1: Old school shooting your shot? Can I have this dance? Well?

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Speaker 1: It was it was. It was like her, she had

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Speaker 1: a friend that was very vivacious and very much like

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Speaker 1: showing showing the world what she's working with, which was

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Speaker 1: not my type. Yeah, yeah, and she she got a

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Speaker 1: lot of attention from men and whatever, and she came

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Speaker 1: over sat say around for me. But I was like,

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Speaker 1: who is your friend? That's understated that to me, it's

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Speaker 1: finner than you, but not showing off her attributes. And

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Speaker 1: so and then you know, we you know, we locked in.

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Speaker 1: We danced and and we just had a great time.

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Speaker 1: And we've always had a great time together.

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Speaker 2: So because whenever I went to the club, I wasn't

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Speaker 2: there trying to catch. I was there to dance. I

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Speaker 2: love dancing. So when he said you want to dance,

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Speaker 2: I was like, yes, I.

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Speaker 1: Believe it or not. The same thing with me. I

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Speaker 1: wasn't trying to catch. I was just really like, no,

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Speaker 1: let me let me because the club in the back

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Speaker 1: of my mind, of course, you know, this is the

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Speaker 1: scenario I wanted, but but it wasn't. I would I

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Speaker 1: knew I didn't want no club girl, you know, And

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Speaker 1: we were misfits. I mean, I I dress up and

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Speaker 1: I look like a guy that belongs in the club,

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Speaker 1: but I never did. I've never taken a drink, never drank.

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Speaker 1: I never you know, I wasn't about that, and I was.

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Speaker 2: That's how we both were.

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Speaker 1: Any woman that thought that, you know, we we let's

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Speaker 1: hook up or whatever, and I'm like, oh, well, you know,

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Speaker 1: thank you, but no, thank you, that's not what I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to do. Thank you. Yeah, but I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was always I'm always, you know, low key looking

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Speaker 1: for my wife. Yeah back then, always always because I

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Speaker 1: didn't even date anybody. If if it if it didn't

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Speaker 1: have potential for long lasting relationship, I wasn't. I don't

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Speaker 1: even see you. So, so who taught you that? You

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Speaker 1: just was always like I know what I wanted and

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Speaker 1: were very intentional like that. I know. The reason why

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Speaker 1: I was on my own and volatile and angry young

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Speaker 1: man is because I wanted to life hide and seek

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Speaker 1: represented And so when I realized and changed my life

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Speaker 1: because I knew that's what I wanted, that became underneath

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Speaker 1: what I what drove me. You know. So any of

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Speaker 1: the fast women, any of the people who thought and

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Speaker 1: then later on, oh he's an actor, let me, you know,

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Speaker 1: get I'm like you know, that's not the woman I want.

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Speaker 1: And so, you know, I.

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Speaker 2: Didn't even know he was an actor.

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Speaker 1: You didn't.

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Speaker 5: I was going to ask you, did you know who

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Speaker 5: he was?

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Speaker 2: No, my friend knew, Okay, she knew, but I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: I hadn't seen anything he was in. I just I

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Speaker 2: thought he was cute, you know, but I didn't know

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Speaker 2: what he was doing.

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Speaker 1: So what did y'all meet? Then?

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Speaker 2: It was Central Club?

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Speaker 1: No, it wasn't. It was one of It was one

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Speaker 1: of us. It was one of Dave Brown's. He was

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Speaker 1: he was a promoter that would do things here and there,

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Speaker 1: you know, so one one venue he it was a

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Speaker 1: Dave Brown venue type of thing, and we went to that.

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Speaker 2: So to this day we think Dave think day he

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Speaker 2: knows it. He's the one that Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And so you were always marriage minded because you

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Speaker 3: want to build what you didn't see when you were

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Speaker 3: growing up.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I mean something that changed my life.

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Speaker 1: I was in I was a got broken up from

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Speaker 1: a gang fight of all things, and the cops came.

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Speaker 1: We dispersed. I was on a bicycle right and I

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Speaker 1: found myself lost because I was trying to ditch the

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Speaker 1: cops and i've and not far from the neighborhood I

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Speaker 1: grew up in, there was this area called, shoot, what's

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Speaker 1: the name? Lake is? Lakeview Lake Lakeside in Bridgeport, Connecticut.

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Speaker 1: And it was this community that was built up around

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Speaker 1: the lake. And I was surprised. I didn't din't, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know it was there. And I saw this young

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Speaker 1: black couple moving in like they didn't have a care

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Speaker 1: in the world and moving into a house and they

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Speaker 1: had a U Haul and everything. And I looked at

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Speaker 1: them amazed, and I realized, that's what I want, That's

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Speaker 1: what I want in life, That's why I'm so angry. Wow.

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Speaker 1: And I saw that image of changed my life. And then,

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Speaker 1: you know, so I went, I straightened up in school,

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Speaker 1: and I was on my own since I was fourteen, really,

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Speaker 1: And so when you say that, what do you mean

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Speaker 1: by on your own? Where were you living? I was

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Speaker 1: living in Bridgeport, Connecticut. I had I'm talking about I

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Speaker 1: had a wonderful My mother. Let me not get it wrong.

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Speaker 1: She was a sweet, sweet woman, church going, but very

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Speaker 1: very she grew up very like obedient and very much.

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Speaker 1: She didn't go out. She was just you know, she

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Speaker 1: didn't she wasn't very worldly, and here I was very worldly.

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Speaker 1: I had an older brother that was just like her.

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Speaker 1: Didn't come come out the house, and he didn't date

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Speaker 1: till he was thirty one. Really really, I mean he

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Speaker 1: married the first woman I had ever known him to date.

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Speaker 1: We were different, We were very different. I'm dating I

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Speaker 1: was dating women in his college when I was in

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Speaker 1: high school, you know, so we were very very different. Yeah. So,

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Speaker 1: but like you know, I saw, I saw in that

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Speaker 1: couple what I really wanted and why I was so

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Speaker 1: volatile and why I was so angry, and so that

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Speaker 1: was my image. I said, I want to be just

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Speaker 1: like them. In the image I was trying to follow

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Speaker 1: before that was this guy named Brett Griffin who was

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Speaker 1: like the He was a city gangster and he was

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Speaker 1: the one that got all the respect. And so I

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Speaker 1: was following that, and I had leadership qualities that I

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Speaker 1: thought that was my path until I saw that and

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Speaker 1: I was like, no, that's my path. And then so

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Speaker 1: I straightened up in school, and year after year I

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Speaker 1: would drive by that house, and until it got to

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Speaker 1: a point where I even became a teacher back in

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Speaker 1: the high school that I used to go to. And

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Speaker 1: still I was to make it a pilgrimage to go

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Speaker 1: buy that house. And I would go buy that house,

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Speaker 1: and then I have to not look at it in

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Speaker 1: a way because I didn't want another family to be

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Speaker 1: coming out of there, because that's the whole image that

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Speaker 1: they were still living their happy lives right there. You know,

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Speaker 1: these are strangers I never met, but I always wanted

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Speaker 1: to be just like that. And then I'm sitting here

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Speaker 1: as an example to other people that image that that

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Speaker 1: really spurred me to do that, you know, So you

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Speaker 1: know that'd be a dope scene in the movie.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's as you were saying that, I was thinking

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Speaker 2: the same movie, Like, you.

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Speaker 3: Just see this boy going by the whole time, and

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Speaker 3: then he starts blocking his that and then when he

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Speaker 3: drives off, it's another couple that walks out or whatnot,

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Speaker 3: and it's not them, but he never sees it or whatnot.

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Speaker 3: And so he models his life to this imaginary family.

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Speaker 3: But he grows up very healthy to have a healthy relationship.

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Speaker 3: But it was based on what I actually wrote something

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Speaker 3: like that. I wrote something where my character he finds

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Speaker 3: out that they're gone and he goes out of his

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Speaker 3: way to get them back together because they break up

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Speaker 3: and they have no idea. I almost forgot about that.

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Speaker 3: I actually wrote that that that my character becomes successful,

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Speaker 3: very successful, and then you need to do that manipulates

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Speaker 3: them to get back together.

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Speaker 1: You need to do that movie. Yeah, yeah, that's good.

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Speaker 3: We need to see stuff like that because it goes

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Speaker 3: back to what we were taught very young is that

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Speaker 3: kids model what they see. And so like you saw

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Speaker 3: the drug dealer dude, the the guy that had all

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Speaker 3: the respect, and you see a lot of toxic masculinity

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Speaker 3: be birth from that saying oh that's respect, he got

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Speaker 3: all the women.

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Speaker 1: I want that.

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Speaker 3: But then to see a young man that sees a

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Speaker 3: healthy relationship or what he views as a healthy relationship

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Speaker 3: and say I'm a change and pivot my eyes and

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Speaker 3: say this is what I want to model.

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Speaker 1: That's beautiful. Yeah. Man, I'm very fortunate. You know, to

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Speaker 1: hoo much is giving, you know. Yeah, So I think

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Speaker 1: about that all the time. There was Seeds that was

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Speaker 1: planning in my life that changed it. So that's why

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Speaker 1: I'm very committed in doing that for others and playing

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Speaker 1: Seeds as well. So I never knew that at a

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Speaker 1: very young age you desire marriage and so here you

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Speaker 1: are this big Hollywood actor and you wasn't in these

300
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Speaker 1: streets where you're like, hey, this is what I desire.

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Speaker 1: You're saying I want to. I think I'm indicative of

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Speaker 1: the majority of people. Think about this for a second.

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Speaker 1: I don't think there is a young man who grew

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Speaker 1: up in dysfunction or whatever that didn't dream of being

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Speaker 1: the father and husband that they didn't see growing up.

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Speaker 1: Just along the way, we get beaten up and we

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Speaker 1: kind of like divorce I saw from that image because

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Speaker 1: it might hurt too much, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think there's anybody when they're really young

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Speaker 1: to say, yeah, I want to I want to be

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Speaker 1: a player. I want to be no, deep down you

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Speaker 1: know what you want, you know, and you know, and

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Speaker 1: so to be honest, I know that's what I want.

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Speaker 1: And to be honest, I don't care how hard you

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Speaker 1: try to play and how much play a player you

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Speaker 1: try to be. Majority of the times you really want

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Speaker 1: you want that family life. You want somebody yeah that

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Speaker 1: you know loves you and you love them, and you

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Speaker 1: got a family and you want to you know, and

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Speaker 1: you want to pour yourself into that. To be honest

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Speaker 1: with you, I don't know too many people who don't

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Speaker 1: want that. So Gilin, let me ask you what you.

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Speaker 2: Grow up saying, well, I had a lot of divorce

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Speaker 2: in my family, a lot. My parents were divorced, every

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00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:31,720
Speaker 2: my grandparents everything. There was no happy marriages in my family. However,

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Speaker 2: the weird thing was that everybody always stay very connected.

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Speaker 2: So we would have family get togethers and like the

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Speaker 2: ex wives are there.

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Speaker 1: It was.

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Speaker 2: It was a little odd. People be like, hey, is

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Speaker 2: that your Dad's Like I'm like, yeah, yeah, and that's

332
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Speaker 2: his daughter, you know, but you know, that's what it

333
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Speaker 2: was because our family was very connected even though they

334
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Speaker 2: were separated. So that was, you know, cool. But I

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Speaker 2: always thought in my head, I'm going to be the

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Speaker 2: first one to get married. I'm gonna stay married, and

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a happy marriage because nobody my family does,

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Speaker 2: you know. So it didn't actually work out that first

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Speaker 2: because I was married before. But I'm making up for

340
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Speaker 2: it with this.

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Speaker 5: Yes, exactly did you know when he approached you? Did

342
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Speaker 5: you did you question his motives like he's talking about

343
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Speaker 5: he always wanted to be married, he was always marriage minded.

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Speaker 5: Did you believe him? And I heard him say he

345
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Speaker 5: had gone through a divorce, so what was going on

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Speaker 5: in your mind?

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Speaker 2: But when we first met, I wasn't you know, I didn't.

348
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Speaker 2: I didn't know that information. Okay, you know, we and

349
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Speaker 2: when we first met, we kind of were like we

350
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,919
Speaker 2: always said, we were playing it kind of safe. You know,

351
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Speaker 2: we didn't demand too much of one another. I was

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Speaker 2: just like, I enjoy being with him, he enjoyed being

353
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Speaker 2: with me. And we didn't put any restrictions or like

354
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Speaker 2: you need to let me know I'm your girl. Yeah,

355
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Speaker 2: Like we didn't do any of that. And then we

356
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Speaker 2: kind of you know, I think I remember I booked

357
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Speaker 2: Xeno Warrior Princess in New Zealand, and then you love

358
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Speaker 2: and then we just kind of just kind of parted ways.

359
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Speaker 2: But we always stayed friends. All those years.

360
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Speaker 1: We stayed friends, and whenever we run into each other,

361
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Speaker 1: our friend groups would be like, yo, what was that about?

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Speaker 2: You know, you see the energy and the yeah, even

363
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 2: though we you know, it was, Oh, I just might

364
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Speaker 2: see him at the comedy club. I might see him,

365
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Speaker 2: you know somewhere else.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think one time I was with my friend Doug,

368
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Speaker 2: and I saw you at the airport and we just

369
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Speaker 2: running to each other. Random places, and whoever I was

370
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Speaker 2: with the time would be like, yeah, what's up with

371
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Speaker 2: what's up with you? Like, so when you were dating

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Speaker 2: other men, they would yeah, this is just in the

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Speaker 2: image of time, you know, but that they did they

374
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Speaker 2: ever say like hmm, I don't know about that friend. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

375
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Speaker 2: they just were like, like, what's up with you know

376
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Speaker 2: that guy? Yeah?

377
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Speaker 5: Did you have women that you were dating that?

378
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was. It was the same kind of a

379
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Speaker 1: kind of a thing, you know. I mean I ran

380
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Speaker 1: into you at the comedy club or whatever, but I

381
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Speaker 1: you know, I made like, you know, I guess one

382
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Speaker 1: time when we're coming out of the comedy club and

383
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Speaker 1: you were cold and I was giving you my jacket

384
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Speaker 1: and Heather was like yo, yeah, yeah yeah.

385
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Speaker 2: Because it just was and I think and actually at

386
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Speaker 2: that time, you were with a friend, a female friend,

387
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Speaker 2: and I wasn't like I wanted to say something more,

388
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,399
Speaker 2: but I was like, I don't know if that's somebody's dating,

389
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Speaker 2: So I kind of just you know, I just kind

390
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 2: of yeah, I didn't say too much, but yeah, tried

391
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Speaker 2: to respect one of those whatever our situations were.

392
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Speaker 5: Of course, but this was destined.

393
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Speaker 2: I think what what turned it.

394
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Speaker 1: What moment happened.

395
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,399
Speaker 2: Here's the story.

396
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's the story. Yeah. I was working on something

397
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:33,840
Speaker 1: and I was battling a cold and I got some

398
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Speaker 1: cold medicine from the from the lobby and some and

399
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 1: when it was old cold medicine, and yeah, but it

400
00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 1: had really adverse effect on me, and it kind of

401
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,439
Speaker 1: had me real loopy. But somewhere along the line, I

402
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 1: was convinced I was gonna die. You know how dramatic

403
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:58,320
Speaker 1: men are, well, and I was drowsy, but I was

404
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 1: fighting it because I was convinced that if I went

405
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: to sleep, I was gonna die, right, and so it

406
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: knows what I thought might be my final moments. I

407
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: called her.

408
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 2: I get a phone call.

409
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 1: I called her up and confessed that she was the one.

410
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Speaker 1: You know, just in case I don't make it, I'm

411
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: gonna let you know. And you know, I happen to survive.

412
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,639
Speaker 2: Thank god they got he survived. It would suck if

413
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,199
Speaker 2: you tell me all that and then you die. That

414
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 2: was a big wast.

415
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 1: You know. I survived that. I had to deal with

416
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 1: what I said. I told her everything, and so when

417
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 1: we got I got back home from that job, everything,

418
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,439
Speaker 1: I was like, let's sit.

419
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,360
Speaker 2: Down and yeah, let's do this one out.

420
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 3: And we looked back since then. So where you think

421
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 3: when he told you that? Were you like I've been

422
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 3: knowing all along?

423
00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 2: I was actually walking around the Rose Bowl. Oh no,

424
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,880
Speaker 2: with my friend. We were working out, and I get

425
00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,399
Speaker 2: the phone call. And mind you, all this time we

426
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 2: we didn't really call one another. It was more texting

427
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 2: of messages like out of respect, yeah, you know Mary

428
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,360
Speaker 2: Christ's happy birthday. It's very respectful. So when I saw

429
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 2: him call, I was like, what the heck? You know, answered,

430
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 2: I get all that, and I'm just kind of like

431
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 2: what It was hard to believe because I'm gonna be honest,

432
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 2: a lot of time had passed between us being together.

433
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 2: I never, in my wildest imagination, would have thought I

434
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 2: would ever be back with him. Never thought that never.

435
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 2: I mean, I was like, oh, we're just friends now,

436
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 2: you know, So for you to tell me all that

437
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 2: that was like, like, I didn't even know how to

438
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,640
Speaker 2: react to that. But he said, you know, when I'm

439
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 2: when I finished this movie, if I survived, and you know,

440
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 2: we're gonna you know, let's let's let's let's figure this out.

441
00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,960
Speaker 5: But you guys ended the first time on great terms.

442
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it was just a drift. It

443
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,360
Speaker 2: was you know, work and just you know.

444
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, we were just know on good behavior. You

445
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: know that we were after the same thing. I wouldn't

446
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: have it would have been we have been celebrating the

447
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 1: twenty ninth year locked in then, no doubt in my mind.

448
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: Is no doubt in my mind. I would you know

449
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,439
Speaker 1: that it would have been it? Right, then, explain what

450
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 1: you mean by that we were on the same thing. Yeah,

451
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: I didn't know because I was talked about this is

452
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 1: what I want, this and that, because I was just

453
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,360
Speaker 1: like because my my attitude was let me see who

454
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 1: you are, let me see who you are. I don't

455
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 1: want you. I don't want to I don't want anybody

456
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: to make a decision based on what I want, necessarily

457
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,199
Speaker 1: because I might dissuade you. I might persuade you to

458
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 1: do something you don't want to do, and I don't

459
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 1: want to pay for that. You know, I want you

460
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,080
Speaker 1: to make that decision because that's what you want. And

461
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: so I play it light and it's like, let's let's

462
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 1: exist together, let's be friends, let's see what you know.

463
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 1: So you know, that's that was my attitude with it,

464
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: and we just didn't find out, you know, that we

465
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 1: really wanted the same thing. And so that's really kind

466
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 1: of what it was. But also I I bear some

467
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:21,239
Speaker 1: guilt in it because I still was running around a

468
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 1: lot and thinking that you know, it was a you know,

469
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,199
Speaker 1: game of numbers, you know, but we always had a

470
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: wonderful time, and I started thinking that relationships were about

471
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 1: kind of like, you know, mitigating the drama, which is

472
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: what I was doing and most of these times and

473
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: trying to make certain things fit that shouldn't have facts.

474
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: And I never gave him any drama. It just was

475
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 2: easy with us. And so we didn't That's what I

476
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 2: meant by we didn't put any like rules or expectations

477
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 2: or you know, like this is what I want, like

478
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: he said, like me saying, oh, this is what I

479
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 2: want and if you don't, you know, like kind of

480
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 2: like that. I didn't do that. I was just enjoying

481
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 2: what it was. You know.

482
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,640
Speaker 1: I was used to women kind of laying down the

483
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: what they wanted a lot, and so then so you know,

484
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: we just were kind of just enjoying each other, uh,

485
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 1: with without that, you know, because I mean and also

486
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: you know, I always knew what I wanted, so we

487
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: just really never talked about it very much. So but

488
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 1: you know, if you, like I said, you know, that's

489
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 1: one one thing that I there's anything, it's having a

490
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,000
Speaker 1: regret as I I can't really have a regret because

491
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 1: we got beautiful children as a result, and I wouldn't

492
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,880
Speaker 1: want to change anything as far as that's concerned. But yeah,

493
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 1: as far as if I had to impart something that

494
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: you know that I learned from, is that to just

495
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 1: to to tell, you know, be very open with with

496
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,959
Speaker 1: what what you want. And I would hate for somebody

497
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 1: to miss out on something like like this. It's just, uh,

498
00:24:55,440 --> 00:25:00,040
Speaker 1: doesn't happen very often that you find your soulmate, And

499
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: so I would hope people would invest the time and

500
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: not be in a situation where you feel like you're

501
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: gonna die and then then tell everybody and tell them then,

502
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 1: because you know, then they could have been with somebody

503
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: else and your miss your shot, and that'd have been

504
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 1: a miserable. I would have looked so much older right

505
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: now if that would have happened, She.

506
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:27,480
Speaker 5: Said, sorry, And I'd have been lurking around.

507
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:38,719
Speaker 1: But I've been you know, slashing catch tires you know,

508
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: after I get out of prison, I really hope you,

509
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: you know, I hope you going to date with me. Yeah,

510
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: I'm glad that didn't.

511
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 3: And so how long did it take you to transition

512
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 3: your mind to go from this is my friend that

513
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 3: I didn't see a quote unquote future with to come on,

514
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 3: let me go ahead and take them seriously.

515
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,160
Speaker 2: So I'll be honest and I and I told him

516
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 2: this when so because so much time it passed. I

517
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 2: think the first time we went out, I was nervous.

518
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 2: I was because you know, you don't know if someone's changed.

519
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 2: You don't you don't know if it's going to be

520
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,479
Speaker 2: the same Kim. You don't know. So I was like,

521
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 2: oh man, what if it's like weird now, or what

522
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 2: if we don't have anything to talk about, or you know,

523
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 2: all these things are going through my head. And I

524
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 2: was so happy because I mean, we went we went

525
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 2: to dinner, and we were dancing, and it just it

526
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 2: was like no, That's how I knew. It felt like

527
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: no time it passed, it was no change is still

528
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 2: amazing chemistry. I had just as good of a time

529
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 2: with him as I had back in the day, and

530
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 2: it was all those things I was feeling anxious about

531
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 2: just went right out the window.

532
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 5: He knew to take you dancing.

533
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:43,199
Speaker 1: He did.

534
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 2: That's good, you were in Pasadena.

535
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 1: I swear we never dated. I did. I didn't believe

536
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 1: in dating. It's like you just existed. Seriously, nothing was technical,

537
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 1: both because I remember it was funny because not even

538
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 1: a year ago, somebody asked about the proposal, and we

539
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: both looked at each other like, oh shoot, like nobody

540
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 1: we never even thought about it.

541
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 2: Every thought about a proposal like I did. Even none

542
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 2: of those women were like, oh, I want to be

543
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,239
Speaker 2: like on bended knee and rose pedals and you know.

544
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 2: And I was like no, because when we got picked

545
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 2: back together, I was like, we're getting married this time,

546
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: so there's no like, there's no I don't need him

547
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 2: to propose, Like I know, this second time around, I'm

548
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 2: not losing him again and he's not losing me. So

549
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 2: you know, do you feel like that?

550
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:40,879
Speaker 1: You felt like, yeah, absolutely, that's why we got We

551
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 1: went marriage marriage, Well, yeah, we got time. We do

552
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 1: this at the at the house. It didn't we were

553
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,879
Speaker 1: going to. This ceremony was subsequent to our connection, you

554
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: know what I mean. It was like we was beyond marriage.

555
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 2: In the first we found each other again and it

556
00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 2: was like, we're not going to lose.

557
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:01,600
Speaker 3: That, you know, Yeah, how long did y'all not date

558
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 3: before y'all got married?

559
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 1: Since it's pretty quick, because I mean we knew what time.

560
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 1: I don't know. You see, that's the thing we don't.

561
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 3: You just have no recollection of time because it's not

562
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 3: the significant y'all. Y'all love life existed outside of time.

563
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 3: It really because because I.

564
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 2: Want to hear and think about it, because I honestly don't.

565
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 1: It didn't matter another movie. That's a whole nother movie.

566
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 3: I do that when they fall in love, but their

567
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,959
Speaker 3: love exists outside of time. The world is spending and

568
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 3: you find out that it happened in the day or

569
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 3: made it happen.

570
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: Propose it, like, okay, propose we're gonna get married one

571
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: year from now, you know whatever.

572
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: Yeah that technically it's never been. We never been that.

573
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 1: Your brains can't even fathom what I'm saying right now.

574
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 2: No, I get what you're saying, but I have to

575
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 2: think about it, like I'm like, okay.

576
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, when we got got together, that was just it.

577
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: You know. At that point, the only work that had

578
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 1: to be done was the fact that here I am,

579
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm a guy. Admittedly it hadn't been faithful before really

580
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 1: only but maybe one other time or something like that.

581
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 1: But of course I had to I had to take

582
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: the necessary time to let her be I mean, to

583
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: really get her her confidence that that you could be faithful. Yeah.

584
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,960
Speaker 2: And I was coming out of a marriage that wasn't good,

585
00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 2: so I was already very vulnerable and fragile. And I

586
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 2: was just like, hmmm, I'm kind of good right now. Yeah,

587
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: I mean, I was happy, but at the same time,

588
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: I was like scared. Yeah, I was very scared. And

589
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't want to go through what

590
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 2: I just went through again. And you know, and I've

591
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 2: said this before, it's like, you know, we're both actors,

592
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 2: but I'm like, you know, he's an actor, and women

593
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: are like, oh my god, you know. And also and

594
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't know, you know, I was like,

595
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 2: I just don't know. And then I remember almost I

596
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 2: think I told you. I don't think so at one point, remember.

597
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 1: No, you didn't say that to it, Well, I kind

598
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: of you said that to your friends.

599
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 2: Right, I said to my mom and I said to

600
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 2: my friend I was like, I don't know, it's just

601
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 2: too much. It's too much. I was like, both of them,

602
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: what did you say? They both were like, no, Mike's

603
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 2: a great guy. You don't want to screw this, Like

604
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 2: what are you doing? I was like, I don't know,

605
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 2: and I just don't.

606
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 1: Want to deal with that again.

607
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 2: I remember she remember because he was like I remember, Mike.

608
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 2: He took me to the Cheesecake Fact.

609
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 1: So yeah, you mam over?

610
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh absolutely absolutely so yeah she was. I mean,

611
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: and my friend who was trying to convince me was

612
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 2: the same when I was at the comedy store when

613
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: that night and was like, what's up? What that you know?

614
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 2: So yeah, they they really rode for him, and yeah.

615
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 5: And what was it about him this time that made you?

616
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 5: Obviously you're vulnerable, you're like coming out of that relationship.

617
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 5: What did he do or say that made you feel confident?

618
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 2: Well, it was one thing he said that he was like,

619
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: you know, it was a lot of going back and forth.

620
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 2: But when he said, you know, I lost you once before,

621
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 2: I'd be a fool to lose you again. When he

622
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: said that, it kind of struck hard because I was like, yeah,

623
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 2: that's true. Why we like. No, I'm just saying, while

624
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: we date, lose each other, and then you come back

625
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,560
Speaker 2: and then to do something stupid to lose me again.

626
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: It just didn't make sense, especially at the age we were.

627
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 2: You know. I was like, yeah, so I'm gonna I'm

628
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 2: going to give this a shot. I gotta let down

629
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 2: all these defenses and all these walls I put up,

630
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: and these feelings of insecurity and just stuff like that

631
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 2: that I kind of had swirling around in my head.

632
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 2: I had to let all that go and really just

633
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 2: give myself one hundred percent to him and not be afraid.

634
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: Situation was. It was bad, really bad with that. It's

635
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 1: a lot of women don't come back from that. Yeah, right,

636
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 1: And so I knew what I was dealing with and

637
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: it wasn't anything that I was doing. But of course

638
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 1: my past didn't help, you know. Yeah, I understood. You know,

639
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: so if I got to check in a little bit

640
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 1: more than I you know, I feel like I should.

641
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 2: He was, Okay, that's good, absolutely.

642
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 1: Because I understood, you know, the parameters. So what I

643
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: got to do a little bit more, that's that's nothing.

644
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: It's worth it.

645
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 2: He made me feel one hundred percent confident that he

646
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 2: was all for me. Yeah, just those little things like

647
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 2: he knew, he knew what I was dealing with. So

648
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 2: it was just the constantly checking it and not like

649
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 2: I said anything. He did it on his own, which

650
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: was admirable. You know. He would check in, he'd call me,

651
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,480
Speaker 2: like if he's out of town, He's like, I'm calling

652
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 2: throughout the day. I'll call you before when I wake

653
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 2: up in the morning, I call you before I go

654
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 2: to sleep, when I'm in bed, you know. So these

655
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 2: are the things that made me feel okay. And as

656
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 2: time progressed, I was like, no, this is this is it?

657
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 1: Well. I didn't want her to lose the best thing

658
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:55,959
Speaker 1: that ever happened to her.

659
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 2: I don't want to do that thing happened to you.

660
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: It's both. It's both because I'm like no, I'm like, no,

661
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 1: ain't nobody, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I you know, I

662
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: know I'm the best thing. Fact I had to become

663
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,840
Speaker 1: that I wasn't. I didn't start out that way. I

664
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: damn sure did not start out that way, teach. But

665
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: I had to for my own life be the man

666
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 1: that was worthy of her, you know, and I wasn't.

667
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 1: And I had to work on that, and I did,

668
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: you know, so as far as being you know, completely honest,

669
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: because I used to forgive myself, you know, for lying.

670
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,719
Speaker 1: I used to let myself be ninety percent because it was,

671
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: you know, ten percent better than you know, a few

672
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 1: other folks or whatever that which is BS. But I

673
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: had to be one hundred percent because I knew what

674
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: I was and who I was dealing with. That's good

675
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 1: and so so I had to become that or I

676
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: would have say, advertised your relationship because I knew deep

677
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 1: down I didn't deserve it. So I knew I deserved her.

678
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: That's good, you know, I knew I deserved her, and

679
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: I knew I didn't. I you know, I exercised all

680
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: that craziness out of me.

681
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 3: It was an episode that you had on your podcast.

682
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 3: I saw it this morning. I think it was the

683
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 3: title it's called being faithful Isn't Hard?

684
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: Or what what was it? What was the title?

685
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 2: Hell? Yeah, something like that?

686
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 1: Yeah? What made you have that? Was it?

687
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 3: Where is it at? And I was like, not cheating

688
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 3: isn't hard? That's what it's called. If being faithful feels hard,

689
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,399
Speaker 3: you're not ready for love. I want you to talk

690
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 3: about that you said, yeah, talk about that.

691
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,359
Speaker 1: Well, I mean that's yeah, there's a lot of men

692
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 1: think that men that is, you know, a discipline. It's

693
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: not a discipline at all. It's it's kind of like,

694
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 1: there's not okay. I said like this, here's my worst relationship,

695
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 1: here's my best relationship before Gillian, and here's where we

696
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: are right way beyond any any of that. And so

697
00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 1: you know, there's it's kind of like you know, anything

698
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 1: romantic with love deep down the connection where I mean,

699
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 1: I know nobody can approach the realm of that when

700
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:16,560
Speaker 1: we have that kind of a connection, right and and

701
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: and if you have an experience that hopefully everybody will

702
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: is that that there's no there's there's no uh, there's

703
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: nothing that somebody can offer me that touches what we have.

704
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 1: And that's why it's not even in the sphere. I

705
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 1: kind of go like this, okay, the connection you have

706
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: with your child, like you can have lunch with your

707
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: daughter or your son, Could you have lunch with somebody

708
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 1: else that is not connected with you and as fulfilled

709
00:35:56,360 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: there's no way. And so in the same way, there's

710
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: nothing I could do that with someone else that could

711
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 1: fulfill me like it is with my wife, and just

712
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: go ahead extrapolate that and casting on everything else. You know,

713
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:20,760
Speaker 1: then it's like, are you kidding me? There is no.

714
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 2: You?

715
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:26,959
Speaker 1: And I wish I knew that growing up, because to

716
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 1: have no desire, zero desire carnally and anything else for

717
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: anybody else. It's easy because in those carnal situations, there's

718
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 1: nobody who ever got close to the quality and just

719
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 1: the residents and everything that we have, just even sitting

720
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: next to each other, we surpassed anything anything like that.

721
00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: And so that's why I say it's very easy. It's

722
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:07,239
Speaker 1: very easy, Like there's no temptation. How could there be?

723
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:09,760
Speaker 1: I was telling that. I was telling that to Ashley.

724
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 3: I guess about a few weeks ago, I was talking

725
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 3: to Matt Barnes and we was at Erica Campbell's laugh

726
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 3: Cry heill tour that she had and I was talking

727
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 3: to him and I said, what made you decide to

728
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:23,240
Speaker 3: marry this woman?

729
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: You know?

730
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 3: Quote unquote Finally he had a second go around with her,

731
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 3: and he was like, man, he said, he had been

732
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,320
Speaker 3: just pretty much living the lifestyle, sleeping with multiple women

733
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 3: all the time.

734
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 1: He started realizing, like.

735
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 3: That is gone, he said, the woman he's with now,

736
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 3: he would never jeopardize cheating off on her or whatever,

737
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 3: because he has so much value and who she is

738
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 3: and who he's become.

739
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: And that's what I think that most men need to.

740
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 3: Hear more about, is that we've prioritized the wrong thing

741
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,479
Speaker 3: of what masculinity or man he looks like by having

742
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 3: variety and options or whatnot. And like you said, we

743
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 3: become slaves so that in our earlier years that we

744
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 3: have to shake that off as we get mature. The

745
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,880
Speaker 3: Bible says, when I was a child, I spoke as

746
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,760
Speaker 3: a child. When I became a man, I put childish

747
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 3: things away, and so I look at infidelity as a

748
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 3: childish behavior because me too, when I was married in

749
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 3: the past, I cheated on my wife multiple times. And

750
00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 3: I said, after I got divorced, I said, I got

751
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 3: to be I got to become the man that I

752
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 3: would be proud that my daughter would marry. One day,

753
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 3: I said, I want to be able to be a

754
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 3: man that my daughter could aspire to. And so in

755
00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 3: that that's what birth the Dear Future WiFi podcast. But

756
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 3: I was telling her same thing with you. I said,

757
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 3: here's accountability you can have. You can here's access to

758
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:43,279
Speaker 3: my phone. You have the password to it. What's the thing?

759
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,399
Speaker 3: I used Google Maps or whatever where you can see

760
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 3: where I'm at at all times. Said I got nothing,

761
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 3: And I said, it feels so when I said, it

762
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 3: felt so comfortable to be able to leave my phone

763
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 3: up like this where I ain't got a high. And

764
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 3: I remember I was in the shower one day and

765
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 3: my phone was ringing. I said, Astley, see who's calling?

766
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 3: I said, But I feel good.

767
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 2: But it does. I mean, I'm not even a guy.

768
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 2: But the thing is, it's like to know that you

769
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 2: have nothing to hide, no secrets, no no watching your

770
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: back making sure you didn't leave something somewhere, something in

771
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 2: your pocket. It's so freeing to be able to just

772
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 2: breathe and be like, I have nothing to hide, you.

773
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: Know, think about it. Even yesterday, Well I answered my

774
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 1: phone like this. I don't ever put the phone up

775
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: to my speakerphone like, you know, here's somebody just day,

776
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: a long time ago. I hit the speaker. Yeah, they

777
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 1: don't know if she's right. Yeah, but I got nothing

778
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: to hide. That's one thing that.

779
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,560
Speaker 2: It's the same exact way. I mean, we have each

780
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 2: other's passwords, we have we track each other, you know,

781
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 2: it's like and it's not on something like.

782
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:50,839
Speaker 1: Your phone. Here's the thing.

783
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 2: He gave me a phone password, but I never can't

784
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 2: remember on the passwords to remember, you know what I mean.

785
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, but just and it's not even like like

786
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 2: you said, you don't do it to like oh here,

787
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 2: let me prove you. It's just it's just a natural

788
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 2: thing like here, nothing high.

789
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: And when you have nothing to hide and when you

790
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 1: have the freedom that so so that the thing is

791
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 1: when the thing that really I love that real life

792
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going to happen, is that

793
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: with with her her heart being completely satiated and her

794
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: being confident, well she lets down any kind of guard

795
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 1: that she has and we both rise to a level

796
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 1: that everything is is like impacted. And so yeah, so

797
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,280
Speaker 1: that's the thing that you know that it's like, wow,

798
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 1: you know, she ain't got to worry, and with I'm

799
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: accessing a part of her that she didn't know was there,

800
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 1: you know, because she couldn't And there you go. Nobody

801
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:02,720
Speaker 1: there's I have had that that freedom with nobody before. Yes,

802
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 1: So that in and of itself is you know, unparalleled.

803
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 1: I mean you can't. You know.

804
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 3: Let me ask you is what has what has this

805
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:15,240
Speaker 3: marriage taught you that you didn't know in your past

806
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 3: marriage or even taught you about yourself? What did what

807
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 3: did this covenant teach you?

808
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,799
Speaker 1: Well? You know, I didn't know loving someone else could

809
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:29,640
Speaker 1: be so self serving. That's good. Yeah, I mean it's

810
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: it's everything I do is greater, it's magnified, you know,

811
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 1: so you know, and and I continue, I mean, you know,

812
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 1: it's I surpassed my my dreams. Actually, and it keeps happening,

813
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:56,280
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, because I mean, you know, not only

814
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like we were darned near tele a path,

815
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 1: you know. You know, it's like.

816
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 2: He can start a since and I'm like, oh, yeah,

817
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 2: where you're I know where you're going. I know what

818
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 2: you're about to say.

819
00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: You know how many times we say the same thing

820
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: or the same thing, And then it gets to the

821
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: point where sometimes it gets ridiculous.

822
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 2: It's a little scary.

823
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:23,120
Speaker 1: But sometimes it gets a little crazy because you're like,

824
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 1: I can't believe that woman did that. Like I don't

825
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. Something. We we don't have

826
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 1: the same eyesight. You saw somebody, but she naturally thinks

827
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 1: I saw what she just saw.

828
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 2: Or he'll be somewhere with a group of people, right,

829
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 2: and then let's say a couple of weeks later, he's like, yeah, babe,

830
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 2: so remember that night, remember that thing was babe, I

831
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 2: wasn't there. He's like, I always think you're with me.

832
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,920
Speaker 2: Like he's like, I always think you're with me.

833
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, Because then it's like every experience I have separate,

834
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,280
Speaker 1: like I go, I can't wait to tell her, and sometimes.

835
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: Someone tells me everything, but things said, you know, everyone

836
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:04,319
Speaker 2: think that I was there.

837
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so that that that happens quite a bit.

838
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: But then our friends around us they trip out because

839
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,319
Speaker 1: they're you know, we got this different language, and how

840
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 1: did y'all do this, y'all? Do you know in the

841
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 1: separate rooms, y'all did the same thing, right.

842
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 2: Like we have we have this friend named Eddie. Every

843
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 2: time we go sit down with Eddie to eat, he's

844
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 2: just amused. You can see it on his face. He's

845
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 2: just like, yo, man, y'all Like he's like, y'all don't

846
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 2: even see what you're doing. You did this, and she

847
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 2: did that. Y'all did the same thing, and you did

848
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 2: the same you know.

849
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 1: He's like, but it's normal to us.

850
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 2: We don't even realize.

851
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 3: He's like, man, yo, y'are experiencing the true oneeness. Let

852
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 3: me ask you this, Gilan, What has marriage taught you?

853
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,319
Speaker 3: What has this marriage taught taught you about marriage or

854
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 3: even yourself?

855
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, that I mean honestly, like, like we just

856
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,320
Speaker 2: got through talking about I can give myself one hundred

857
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: percent of someone and feel so incredibly safe and protected

858
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 2: and seen and loved on this other lefl that I

859
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 2: just I never I never thought existed. And to know

860
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 2: that this is my marriage, I mean, it's such a

861
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 2: gratifying like it's I feel so just good inside when

862
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:15,479
Speaker 2: I think about, like this is this is my love,

863
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: This is who protects me, this is who looks after me,

864
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 2: Like I never have to worry because I know you

865
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: always have my back, you know, and and and vice versa.

866
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 2: It's like my biggest supporter, my biggest cheerleader. If I

867
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,439
Speaker 2: book something, he's happier for me than if he books something,

868
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 2: you know. So it's just like who would have thought,

869
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 2: you know, especially coming from my last marriage to this.

870
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 2: It's like he talks about here here and here, I'm like,

871
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 2: you know, I'm like so you know, it's just yeah,

872
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: it's just another level. So I I never I never

873
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,479
Speaker 2: would have thought that because my first experience was nothing

874
00:44:54,520 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 2: like this first time too, damn Minny. But I try

875
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,880
Speaker 2: to forget that part of my life. I don't know,

876
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 2: maybe close to nine or something.

877
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: And so was it hard?

878
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 3: Was it hard for you to to like that process

879
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,120
Speaker 3: that took place, to trust again, to be vulnerable, to

880
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 3: feel safe. Was that a long process? Did it take?

881
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 3: What did that look like?

882
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,720
Speaker 1: Because your mom was talking to you, your best friend

883
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:26,280
Speaker 1: was talking.

884
00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 2: To Yeah, it was just in the beginning stage. Okay,

885
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 2: just the beginning stage. And once we really were like, no,

886
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 2: we're going to do this, I was. I was good.

887
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 2: It was just in that initial like getting back together,

888
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: you know, I just was like, yeah, I don't know,

889
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 2: I'm scared. I just admitted I was scared. I didn't

890
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 2: want to be hurt again. I was, like I said,

891
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,560
Speaker 2: I was very fragile, still putting myself back together, and

892
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 2: I was just like, yeah, I don't know. So yeah,

893
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 2: it's just in that beginning stage. So maybe a few months.

894
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 2: It wasn't that long, it you.

895
00:45:56,080 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: Know, Michael, what made you not give up? Well, it

896
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:04,959
Speaker 1: was I didn't have a choice. You didn't have a choice.

897
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,320
Speaker 1: I had to give up. Yeah, I was. I mean, I

898
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 1: didn't see an obstacle. You didn't see it. What obstacle?

899
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:18,479
Speaker 1: Now there's it was like this was what I said,

900
00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:24,600
Speaker 1: think that like my life was about. So I never

901
00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 1: saw an obstacle, never came to a point where I

902
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 1: didn't think it was going to happen. You know that

903
00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 1: thing that she talked about where she said she didn't know.

904
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 1: She didn't say that to me. You that was that

905
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 1: was her friends and her mama. But I was, man, I.

906
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: Was yeah, yeah, I was just like you know more

907
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 2: than you know. Yeah. I never said like I don't

908
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 2: know about this, you know, it was just my thoughts,

909
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:52,280
Speaker 2: how I was feeling, what I was dealing with, you know, yeah,

910
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 2: just where my brain was at at the time. I

911
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 2: just I just wasn't sure you were locked in.

912
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: He was like, I'm back again, and you ain't going nowhere.

913
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:03,839
Speaker 1: I was just very very transparent, you know, you know,

914
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,800
Speaker 1: I had, you know, to clean up other things with

915
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,640
Speaker 1: the relationships. It's like try to part as friends in

916
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: these scenarios with people who were friends that had other

917
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: intentions possibly, But I'm like Okay, we're going to continue

918
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 1: to be friends. Are not like you know, that kind

919
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:26,720
Speaker 1: of a thing. But you know, that was just you know, separate.

920
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 1: That wasn't slow with nothing down. But that was the

921
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:33,720
Speaker 1: only little residual things I was dealing with. But outside

922
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 1: of that, I knew what I wanted and you know,

923
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 1: and you know other things that I'm going, Yeah, I'm

924
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 1: working on myself to be better and better. And as

925
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:48,400
Speaker 1: we as we kept you know, in connection, my resolve

926
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 1: got stronger because of course we're reconnecting and I'm seeing

927
00:47:52,920 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: these things that you know that I liked, and then

928
00:47:57,200 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: find out that it's even greater. And I thought, you know,

929
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 1: there's certain things that there's something that I think I

930
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 1: told you before. I saw a tendency one of the

931
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 1: trends that you have that you get from your mother

932
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 1: that I thought was amazing and why I'm such a

933
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 1: big fan of your mother and her mother. If she's

934
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 1: going through any kind of dis discomfort or or just

935
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 1: not having a good day, she keeps it hidden. She

936
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 1: will she's the last one to tell you. You have to

937
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 1: extract it from her. You have to go, you know,

938
00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: are you fine? Yeah? Yeah, I'm good. Wait, Wait, can

939
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: I do. Oh, you find out she's going through whatever

940
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: vertical or whatever the situation is. And I saw that

941
00:48:54,360 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 1: Gillian did the same thing, that she will try to

942
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 1: overcome whatever is ailing her by herself quietly, and I

943
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: got to reach in to get it out. And that

944
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:16,000
Speaker 1: quality is such a wonderful quality that I go, Wow,

945
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that go along with that,

946
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:25,359
Speaker 1: and that selflessness, that that tendency to you know, do

947
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,280
Speaker 1: self work or just kind of take it on herself.

948
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 1: But I'm like, no, no, no, let me help that, let

949
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 1: me let me take over from there, let me be

950
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 1: that that rock for you because you had to do

951
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: that for a while. But I see your tendencies. So

952
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 1: I start seeing things like that, and you know how

953
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:49,240
Speaker 1: she was doing the work, and how she was always

954
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 1: in her friend group. She was the matriarch or the

955
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 1: friend group. She was always I mean even her with

956
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 1: her parents. She was the one that was the therapist.

957
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,320
Speaker 1: Like she was a therapist for her friend group and

958
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,719
Speaker 1: I was a therapist for my friend group. Yeah, but

959
00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 1: the tendency is to be like, oh, I'm fine, yep,

960
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: you know, you.

961
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 2: Want to solve everybody else's problems and advise them and

962
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 2: help them before you deal with whatever you're dealing with.

963
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:18,879
Speaker 1: Nuts.

964
00:50:18,920 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 2: I've always been that way, you know.

965
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so how did it feel to be able

966
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 3: to relax and allow him into that space, that that

967
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 3: vulnerable space where you let him know you ain't got

968
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 3: it all together and that you have your your We

969
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:38,960
Speaker 3: always talk about being a provider from a financial standpoint,

970
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 3: but for him to provide that emotional support.

971
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,360
Speaker 1: How did you feel to have him come into that space?

972
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 2: My god, it felt amazing because I hadn't experienced that before.

973
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 2: I didn't have you know. I always say it's the

974
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 2: Capricorn in me. We're just those kind of you know,

975
00:50:56,880 --> 00:51:00,160
Speaker 2: go getters. But it's like I always tend to just

976
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 2: be in the mode of let me just get it done,

977
00:51:02,719 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 2: let me handle it, let me you know whatever. I

978
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 2: don't need to depend on anyone. So it felt good to,

979
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 2: like I said, to know he has my back supporting me, like, babe,

980
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 2: just tell me what you need. I got you. That

981
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 2: felt good for me to just go, Okay, this is hard,

982
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:22,839
Speaker 2: but here here's some of the stuff I'm dealing with,

983
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:26,720
Speaker 2: you know, and knowing he's there to coach me, guide

984
00:51:26,760 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 2: me whatever it is that I need you know, it.

985
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:32,839
Speaker 1: Still happens where in a way where I laugh at it.

986
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,360
Speaker 1: I remember, you know, I'm going to talk about like

987
00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 1: I remember, well she's so accommodating other people. Right, we

988
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:44,600
Speaker 1: were working on this movie. We're working on this movie, right,

989
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:48,319
Speaker 1: I wrote it. I'm the star of it. I am

990
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:51,879
Speaker 1: the director of this movie. And so we're going through

991
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,359
Speaker 1: some wardrobe stuff and I'm trying to get it. So

992
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 1: what do you like whatever? I don't know, like they

993
00:51:57,160 --> 00:52:00,360
Speaker 1: might want this or you know, you think this school

994
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 1: and I'm like, babe, what do you want? Whatever? You

995
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 1: want to now? But you know they might have it.

996
00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm they I'm the break. But you know,

997
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: be like, okay, tell me what you like and I'll

998
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: tell them.

999
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,000
Speaker 2: Let me let me be wrong with you, guys. This

1000
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 2: is why because because I cannot make a connection in

1001
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 2: my brain this is my husband. So even when I

1002
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 2: work with him, I almost don't see it as oh

1003
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 2: he's the director, he's producing, he wrote it. It's like, no,

1004
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 2: you're my husband, so I'm talking to you like you're

1005
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,839
Speaker 2: my husband. I forget to make that connection of oh,

1006
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 2: yeah you are you also are the director, and like

1007
00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 2: it doesn't.

1008
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 5: Know.

1009
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 2: It's so funny because even people like you know, like

1010
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:57,800
Speaker 2: like oh, Michael J. And I'm like, that's my husband,

1011
00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 2: Like you know, I mean, not not discounting. I'm just

1012
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 2: like that, that's my husband. That's that's who I'm with

1013
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,920
Speaker 2: every day, you know, So I forget the excitement people

1014
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,319
Speaker 2: when they're like, oh my god, my god, yea white

1015
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: And I'm like, you know, not in the mean way,

1016
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,239
Speaker 2: but I'm like, oh right, right, right, right.

1017
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 1: Okay, you know, well she's not spoiled, she don't she

1018
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 1: don't use her muscle.

1019
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 3: You know.

1020
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 1: It's like you could be like all right, everybody, I

1021
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,840
Speaker 1: want you to be like that now. You know. It's

1022
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:27,879
Speaker 1: like tell me.

1023
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:33,040
Speaker 2: That there is not one diva bone in my body.

1024
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:38,000
Speaker 1: What's for lunch? Like, let's let's you know what, do

1025
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: you think there's something that you know I can eat? No,

1026
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 1: I believe me, anything you want, I'm sure they can

1027
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 1: get it.

1028
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 2: For I'm lumping it into like when I want other productions,

1029
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,319
Speaker 2: Like I said, I can't like disconnect for y'all know

1030
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 2: this my husbands production to other productions that he's not involved.

1031
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 5: You're always professional, exactly professional, yes, And I and I

1032
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 5: just love how you said he supports you too in

1033
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 5: your career. How how does that feel? Because I know sometimes,

1034
00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 5: like you know, once you found out, like okay, this

1035
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,160
Speaker 5: is who he is, Like, how did you feel even

1036
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:21,359
Speaker 5: just knowing how supportive he would be of your own

1037
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 5: acting career.

1038
00:54:22,160 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 2: No, I mean it's it's it's always great. Like I said,

1039
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:26,200
Speaker 2: he gets really excited, like, well, I think it was

1040
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,520
Speaker 2: take Back, right, m Yeah, I did this movie called

1041
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 2: take Back where I starred in it, and I was

1042
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 2: like the first black female martial artist to ever be

1043
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 2: in a leading right, yeah, role, And that's wonder. He

1044
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 2: just was so excited. I mean, I think he had

1045
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:43,799
Speaker 2: booked something at the time too, but he wasn't even

1046
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:45,959
Speaker 2: talking about what he had booked. He just kept telling

1047
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:49,280
Speaker 2: everybody about my movie and this movie, and he's so excited,

1048
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 2: and yeah, So that's what I mean. It's just because

1049
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 2: you're right, a lot of times they're depending on the relationship,

1050
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 2: there can be jealousies or envy or or you know,

1051
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 2: or I don't want to see you, you know, you

1052
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 2: need to be home or that kind of thing. But

1053
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 2: now it's it's always one hundred percent support.

1054
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, if she's not better with me in her life,

1055
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:12,359
Speaker 1: then what am I doing that part?

1056
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 5: You know?

1057
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 1: I mean that's great. I mean I'm like that with

1058
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:15,919
Speaker 1: my friends. Just like if I don't make your life

1059
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 1: better than why we here?

1060
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1061
00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it doesn't make any sense, you know. And

1062
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 1: in a relationship, in a marriage, one thing is like

1063
00:55:24,560 --> 00:55:26,800
Speaker 1: and I ask my friend, it's like, if you're not

1064
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 1: better with that person, then without that's that's that's something.

1065
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,520
Speaker 2: You better actually exactly, that's.

1066
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 3: Because it's not going to if something, if a relationship

1067
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,279
Speaker 3: is pulling you back or making you less than, then

1068
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 3: you'll be like, what is the value? Because the Bible

1069
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 3: says that a wife is a crown upon her husband's head.

1070
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 3: So if it's not a crown, if a husband ain't

1071
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 3: elevating his wife into the next level or speaking her

1072
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 3: into her next dimension, why are we here?

1073
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:55,239
Speaker 1: Yeah? And that's why early on when I'm dating, I

1074
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 1: want to find out what is your goal that part,

1075
00:55:58,160 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 1: because there's a part of me that has to be

1076
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,960
Speaker 1: a your leader, that part, you know, and you're not

1077
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 1: going to just you know, jump on you know, my

1078
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 1: just thinking that you're just going to, you know, just

1079
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 1: be what I want and then you then you're vacant

1080
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 1: and years later you're like, oh, I'm not fulfilled. And

1081
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 1: you know, we're bringing up children that know learns from

1082
00:56:18,280 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: the mother not to be fulfilled. That's not you know,

1083
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,720
Speaker 1: that's not a trend that I want that part because

1084
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: the children are going to do what they see, not

1085
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:30,279
Speaker 1: necessarily what you tell them. So you know, they learn

1086
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 1: like to you know, put put the mom's needs aside,

1087
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 1: and they're not seeing a fulfilled mother and father, you know,

1088
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: So I don't want that. So yeah, so that's you know,

1089
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,400
Speaker 1: like it's a very simple thing. It takes care of

1090
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: itself in a way, you know. And I got to

1091
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 1: find out really if you were there for me or not,

1092
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:54,279
Speaker 1: like you did you tell yourself this, and so you

1093
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:58,759
Speaker 1: gotta listen. You gotta listen really well because you know,

1094
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 1: I say it like this, Okay, Well, you know how

1095
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:08,320
Speaker 1: men can be blind to their desires, their sexual desires,

1096
00:57:08,320 --> 00:57:11,359
Speaker 1: and they think that they want one hundred percent of

1097
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:15,640
Speaker 1: what this woman is and then after the goal happens,

1098
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:19,280
Speaker 1: then they're left with the real, the reality of it,

1099
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 1: and maybe it was ten percent what she looks on

1100
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 1: on his arm, another percent of the cardinal issue, another

1101
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 1: percent of societal and then then you know, they go, wow,

1102
00:57:30,640 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 1: you know, then it's like my friends who don't learn

1103
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:39,000
Speaker 1: that lesson, I'm going, oh, you're not excited about her anymore. Why, okay,

1104
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 1: so be careful your own desires. But now look at

1105
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,160
Speaker 1: it this way. I've had a lot of I've had

1106
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:50,760
Speaker 1: friends who will get married right like they are struggling

1107
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 1: through relationships and then that man pops the question, and

1108
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 1: all of a sudden they get married, and then the

1109
00:57:56,200 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 1: woman gets married, and then after the marriage they're left

1110
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 1: with the truth and why did they get married? Is

1111
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 1: it like a few percentage that of that that day

1112
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 1: that she always wanted, you know, another thing about societal

1113
00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 1: another thing for promise, the children, and all these desires

1114
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: that went to her, you know, kind of contributed to

1115
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 1: her making that decision. So these desires, you know, will

1116
00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 1: will like motivate the decision. And then oh, I'm left

1117
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: with somebody. You know, I thought it was one hundred

1118
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,360
Speaker 1: percent then, but it was all these other percentages. Maybe

1119
00:58:37,360 --> 00:58:39,919
Speaker 1: it wound up to be forty percent him or even

1120
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:42,800
Speaker 1: eighty percent, but it's another percentage that it's something else.

1121
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 1: But you you left with one hundred percent of that person,

1122
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden it's like, ooh, you know

1123
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: what I mean. And so that's that thing. So, you know, Dayton,

1124
00:58:54,920 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 1: you got to be aware of your own desires and

1125
00:58:56,960 --> 00:59:00,640
Speaker 1: your desires that will blind you to the truth.

1126
00:59:00,680 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 3: You gotta be truthful with yourself. Well, I know you

1127
00:59:03,480 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 3: just dropped. You just made the comment about why did

1128
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 3: I get married? Once you get married somebody and so

1129
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 3: people may know you from why did I get married?

1130
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 1: One? But why did I get married?

1131
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:15,080
Speaker 3: To an upcoming movie, why did I get married?

1132
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: Again? Yes? Which is the best one? He says, the best?

1133
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 1: Guarantee really, I guarantee you it is the best.

1134
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:23,720
Speaker 2: And the day he read the script, he was like,

1135
00:59:23,720 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 2: oh this is this is the best?

1136
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 1: Is the best? Tyler? He touched on things that that

1137
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 1: I've never seen in another movie.

1138
00:59:32,040 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 2: Ah.

1139
00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 1: Good, that's just there's like four things that this movie

1140
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 1: is about that you could make a movie by itself

1141
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 1: phone all day. And one of them that I really,

1142
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:45,080
Speaker 1: I really you know point out is that how we

1143
00:59:45,120 --> 00:59:52,920
Speaker 1: as parents we shield our kids from our are inequities

1144
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:57,960
Speaker 1: and our mistakes. We naturally do that to provide, uh,

1145
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 1: you know, a good example them, but sometimes we give

1146
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 1: them an unrealistic vision of ourselves that they're following, right.

1147
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: They don't see the times where Dad messed up and

1148
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 1: all this are certain things that you know, Dad and

1149
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 1: mom almost broke up. They would have no idea that

1150
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: fact dad and mom are seeking therapy. Our dad was

1151
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 1: not you know, Dad and mom wasn't that good in school.

1152
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:29,120
Speaker 1: They think they see the end result, the result of

1153
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 1: all this work, and they grow up thinking, well, how

1154
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 1: do I compete with that? You know? And you know,

1155
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 1: so that's that's the thing that I've never seen in

1156
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 1: a movie that he highlights beautifully in this movie. This

1157
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 1: movie comes out when in this summer, this summer, well,

1158
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 1: people have to wait that long to see Michael joh

1159
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: White on the screen. They can see the secret between

1160
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 1: us on April the third. So this movie is quite interesting.

1161
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: This movie is about.

1162
01:00:58,680 --> 01:01:04,560
Speaker 3: A man who is married and this love child pops

1163
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:06,200
Speaker 3: back up in the middle of their marriage.

1164
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:09,439
Speaker 1: Right, yes, sir, what did you think playing this role?

1165
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,200
Speaker 1: I loved it. I loved it. I think a lot

1166
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:16,400
Speaker 1: of people I know grow growing up uh and uh.

1167
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 1: Other people that's on this couch with me, can it?

1168
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:25,920
Speaker 1: You know, can testify to other people, other people that

1169
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: that is quite often that you grow up and find

1170
01:01:30,080 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 1: out you have other siblings. You know, I've experienced that.

1171
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: I don't know too many people will haven't. And it

1172
01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 1: has been a movie about that, and so this one,

1173
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:43,240
Speaker 1: you know, for me, I don't want to do a

1174
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 1: movie that I don't want to see. And I've seen

1175
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:49,400
Speaker 1: a lot, and so you've been in a lot. Yeah,

1176
01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:53,160
Speaker 1: but this movie is very unique, very unique. I call

1177
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:57,160
Speaker 1: it the Cleenex challenge. You better have your Cleenex besides

1178
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 1: you because you know it's going to take you through

1179
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 1: some things. Even the trailer. People look at the trailer

1180
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:06,000
Speaker 1: of a Secret between Us and they think, oh, the

1181
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 1: whole movie is laid out. They're wrong. There's so much

1182
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:11,240
Speaker 1: in this movie that is not shown in that trailer.

1183
01:02:11,720 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 1: But that just is a testimony to how much is

1184
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:18,760
Speaker 1: in the movie. It's it's really something else. I'm very

1185
01:02:18,880 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 1: very proud of it. Once you'll shoot this. We shot

1186
01:02:21,320 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 1: it just like a year this year, yeah, last year,

1187
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:28,960
Speaker 1: last year. It was written, directed, and produced by what's

1188
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:33,200
Speaker 1: her name, Tambra Hill. Tambra Hill. How was it Is

1189
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,520
Speaker 1: this your first time working with her? Yes? Yes, And

1190
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,880
Speaker 1: how was that experience? It was cool? It was cool.

1191
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 1: She was new to directing and so you know, we collaborated,

1192
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:48,400
Speaker 1: you know, I brought my knowledge and I inducted my

1193
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:54,000
Speaker 1: DP Keith Smith. He's we've worked about six different movies together. Wow,

1194
01:02:54,440 --> 01:02:59,760
Speaker 1: and we just jumped on it. Got this movie done

1195
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:03,600
Speaker 1: is a labor of love. We went to Atlanta, got

1196
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 1: the thing done, contacted Lisa Arundel, who's one of one

1197
01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 1: of my all time favorite actresses, and we put it

1198
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:16,160
Speaker 1: together and and the end result was something that I mean,

1199
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe how well this you know, our goal

1200
01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:24,640
Speaker 1: was met. And so yeah, we're very proud of this movie.

1201
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 1: And we really I mean, it's going to be in

1202
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:30,440
Speaker 1: theaters only, and I really think it's a wonderful movie

1203
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:33,640
Speaker 1: to go exclusive through AMC or all movie. It's got

1204
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:37,760
Speaker 1: other theaters, but it's mainly AMC. But I encourage people

1205
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:40,880
Speaker 1: to come out. Make this a date night, you know,

1206
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 1: come out. You know, you know how sometimes we like

1207
01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:47,840
Speaker 1: those stage plays and we go out. If you like that,

1208
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 1: you're going to really love this. It's going to be

1209
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:52,960
Speaker 1: an experienced and I think we should experience these things together.

1210
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,440
Speaker 1: And I really think a lot of people are going

1211
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 1: to get a lot out of this movie.

1212
01:03:57,800 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 3: What states played, I saw, I saw you in uh

1213
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:04,240
Speaker 3: Jakaris Johnson's play Cheaters, Cheaters, That's what it was, I said,

1214
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,120
Speaker 3: because I was backstage and I was like, I remember

1215
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 3: him in the play. I just couldn't remember which play

1216
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 3: it was. But when you just brought up famously our

1217
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:17,520
Speaker 3: first act break between the before intervention, Yeah was the

1218
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:21,160
Speaker 3: most riotous thing. I mean, I know has been trying.

1219
01:04:20,920 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 5: To like that.

1220
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:25,680
Speaker 3: He hasn't been able to hit that been able to

1221
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:28,440
Speaker 3: hit that scene again, exactly what you're talking.

1222
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:32,480
Speaker 1: We worried. We worried it like because people, oh my goodness,

1223
01:04:32,600 --> 01:04:35,720
Speaker 1: got it got heated every where. We would we would

1224
01:04:35,760 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 1: be back in the dressing rooms already still hearing and

1225
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: you still hear people. Yeah. Yeah, that was like I'm like,

1226
01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:46,920
Speaker 1: worried about somebody getting hurt. Yeah, but uh yeah, that

1227
01:04:47,040 --> 01:04:52,120
Speaker 1: was that was something else. Cheetah was Jesus Jesus. Wow.

1228
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 3: So that comes out April the third. Make sure that

1229
01:04:54,440 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 3: y'all make it a date night, get your homegirls, make

1230
01:04:57,360 --> 01:05:00,560
Speaker 3: it a friend Uh hang out, what whatever it is,

1231
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 3: Go and check this out. Because I've been wanting to

1232
01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:05,560
Speaker 3: see movies in the movie theater. It's like they haven't

1233
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:07,560
Speaker 3: been released and I've been like I want to take

1234
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,440
Speaker 3: it to the movie and it's like, what can you

1235
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 3: go see? And so I'm glad that there's movies actually

1236
01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 3: coming out to the theater.

1237
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 1: We can get back and sit down and have a

1238
01:05:16,600 --> 01:05:19,960
Speaker 1: whole fast date night. Yeah, this is a perfect date

1239
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:24,800
Speaker 1: night movie. April third, April third? What else? What else

1240
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 1: y'all got going on the weekend? Support? What about you? Gilan?

1241
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,360
Speaker 2: Right now, I'm currently not working on anything, but I

1242
01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:33,200
Speaker 2: have some stuff coming. Like I just did a really

1243
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 2: cool guest star spot on Criminal Minds in the upcoming season.

1244
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:45,320
Speaker 3: Let me tell you something, now, Criminal Minds is my show.

1245
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 3: You understand me my show when I say, I love that.

1246
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm looking forward to this.

1247
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 2: It's a really good episode. Yeah, I'm excited. I mean

1248
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 2: I keep telling them like I'm like, oh, wants it

1249
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 2: coming out? Because I'm excited to see it. Because I

1250
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,120
Speaker 2: went in and did a d R for it and

1251
01:05:59,160 --> 01:06:00,840
Speaker 2: I got to see some of it and I was like,

1252
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:01,560
Speaker 2: this is going.

1253
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:01,840
Speaker 1: To be good.

1254
01:06:02,120 --> 01:06:04,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it feels see, if people don't understand the

1255
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:09,280
Speaker 3: life of an actor, and like, you put yourself out there,

1256
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:12,480
Speaker 3: you get used to hearing knows, you know, and it's like,

1257
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:15,880
Speaker 3: how do you, because a lot of people struggle with rejection,

1258
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:19,160
Speaker 3: just period. Just people where there's relationships, whether it's going

1259
01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:23,080
Speaker 3: for any job, putting their applications out there. A lot

1260
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:24,880
Speaker 3: of people are trying to apply for jobs. I was

1261
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 3: talking to a young guy that said that he went

1262
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:30,160
Speaker 3: through four interviews for a job and they.

1263
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:31,400
Speaker 1: Still didn't hire him.

1264
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:34,960
Speaker 3: And I mean, he's overly qualified, he's an engineer, and

1265
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:36,640
Speaker 3: he was like, man, just it just hurts to just

1266
01:06:36,680 --> 01:06:40,000
Speaker 3: keep putting yourself out there. But as actors, it's the

1267
01:06:40,040 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 3: only profession that you're programmed to be able to be

1268
01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:47,959
Speaker 3: used to hearing. No explain that being able to deal

1269
01:06:48,000 --> 01:06:49,160
Speaker 3: with quote unquote rejection.

1270
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:52,680
Speaker 1: How do you not look at it as rejection at all?

1271
01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: How do you look at us? It's not rejection? What

1272
01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 1: is it? I come in right the way I look

1273
01:06:57,720 --> 01:07:01,120
Speaker 1: at it. Okay, I'm I'm a penn a contractors. What

1274
01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:03,240
Speaker 1: I am? That's good? All right? I come in. If

1275
01:07:03,280 --> 01:07:05,400
Speaker 1: I say I'm gonna do your carpete, I'm gonna tell

1276
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:07,360
Speaker 1: you how I'm gonna do the corp I don't care

1277
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:09,560
Speaker 1: how somebody else is gonna do the carpet. I'm gonna

1278
01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:12,040
Speaker 1: start on that corner and I'm gonna work my way

1279
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:14,240
Speaker 1: there and I'm gonna have lunch at this time. I'm

1280
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:19,240
Speaker 1: gonna finish up over here analogy, and you pay me

1281
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:21,080
Speaker 1: the other half when I'm done, you have to put

1282
01:07:21,200 --> 01:07:24,040
Speaker 1: lunch in it. You're gonna go. So so I come

1283
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:27,920
Speaker 1: as a contractor. Okay, I'm auditioning for ODIs. This is

1284
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:30,920
Speaker 1: the way I'm gonna do ODIs, you know, And so

1285
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:34,600
Speaker 1: my thing is this is it. If you don't want

1286
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:38,120
Speaker 1: the way I did Otis, I ain't got nothing to

1287
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 1: do with Michael joh White. That was your choice of Otis.

1288
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:45,800
Speaker 1: That's good. I didn't come to you as me. You

1289
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 1: don't even know me, right, So it's not you know,

1290
01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:52,840
Speaker 1: it's a business thing. I came here. I'm gonna do

1291
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 1: the oldest the way. I don't care. I don't care

1292
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,240
Speaker 1: that way you want it. I'm gonna do it the

1293
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:57,959
Speaker 1: way I want to do it because that's the way.

1294
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:01,960
Speaker 1: For my time, I have to do it this way. Yeah,

1295
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:05,720
Speaker 1: And so I'm gonna keep it pushing. And when somebody

1296
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:11,040
Speaker 1: every time, both of us, when we get a call back,

1297
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:15,040
Speaker 1: we're like, for what, Oh remember when you would wait wait?

1298
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:17,240
Speaker 1: You forget thinking about it anymore?

1299
01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:19,599
Speaker 2: You try to like once you like either leave an

1300
01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 2: audition room or you're done. You just you just move forward. Yeah,

1301
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:26,240
Speaker 2: there's no point going oh man, oh man, it's been

1302
01:08:26,240 --> 01:08:28,400
Speaker 2: a week. I haven't heard anything, and it's you just

1303
01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:31,080
Speaker 2: drive yourself crazy. Yeah, I just keep going.

1304
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:35,760
Speaker 1: I realized I realized a long time ago, even if

1305
01:08:35,800 --> 01:08:38,360
Speaker 1: I never got cast, I'm doing what I want to

1306
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:41,160
Speaker 1: do that part, and I already won when I come

1307
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:44,000
Speaker 1: in that room, and I know I already won. I

1308
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:47,639
Speaker 1: don't have to laugh at your jokes, mister director or producer.

1309
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:50,559
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to appease you or a tap dance

1310
01:08:50,640 --> 01:08:53,400
Speaker 1: with that. I don't have to do none of that

1311
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:56,439
Speaker 1: because I come in there going, this is the way

1312
01:08:56,479 --> 01:08:58,800
Speaker 1: I want to do it. Oh y'all got it written

1313
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:00,200
Speaker 1: this way, but this is the way I want to

1314
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:01,559
Speaker 1: do it. And they go, oh wow, I didn't think

1315
01:09:01,560 --> 01:09:05,120
Speaker 1: about that because it ain't gonna be another me. That's true.

1316
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna do it this way to show you

1317
01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 1: what I bring as an independent contractor. That's good. You

1318
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:14,479
Speaker 1: know I'm going to go. I think they wanted this.

1319
01:09:14,479 --> 01:09:16,719
Speaker 1: This is the way I've seen it done before. Yeah,

1320
01:09:16,760 --> 01:09:20,200
Speaker 1: so you just eradicated yourself. You know, you just committed

1321
01:09:20,200 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 1: suicide because you're not showing who you are that part.

1322
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:26,200
Speaker 1: So that way, and so I if they want to do,

1323
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:29,920
Speaker 1: if they want to cast the way I wanted it,

1324
01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:34,120
Speaker 1: then we're in in concept. Yeah we're in sync. Okay. Yeah,

1325
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:35,560
Speaker 1: see that's the way I want to do and that

1326
01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:38,479
Speaker 1: you want it that way? Cool? You know. If not cool,

1327
01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:40,240
Speaker 1: that's your loss. What about you?

1328
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:43,600
Speaker 3: Given how you how you internalize it or not internalize it.

1329
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:45,800
Speaker 2: You for a long time to get to that point,

1330
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:48,360
Speaker 2: I'll be honest, because you know, I just I want

1331
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:51,080
Speaker 2: I love working, and when I'm not working, it's like,

1332
01:09:51,720 --> 01:09:54,960
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So it's that, you know

1333
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 2: that trying to get over that need of I want

1334
01:09:57,640 --> 01:09:59,040
Speaker 2: them to want me, you know what I mean. And

1335
01:09:59,040 --> 01:10:01,200
Speaker 2: then I got to the point where it's like, well,

1336
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 2: you know, because I've I've been behind the scenes. I

1337
01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:06,120
Speaker 2: know how this, I know how the system works. I

1338
01:10:06,200 --> 01:10:09,840
Speaker 2: know how everything works. Now, no, just just we I

1339
01:10:09,960 --> 01:10:12,880
Speaker 2: know how things work. With casting. It's not always I

1340
01:10:12,920 --> 01:10:15,040
Speaker 2: mean they probably have already put out three offers to

1341
01:10:15,120 --> 01:10:17,559
Speaker 2: three major actors, and they just do a bunch of

1342
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:21,000
Speaker 2: casting in between time until these three people that they

1343
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:24,280
Speaker 2: really want either say yay or so I get it now.

1344
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:25,800
Speaker 2: Before I was like, oh I got a shot at this.

1345
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:30,840
Speaker 2: You might come in and do something really amazing. They're like, oh,

1346
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:34,160
Speaker 2: you know those three people didn't you know? So you

1347
01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:36,200
Speaker 2: just never know. And because you never know, it's like

1348
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:40,320
Speaker 2: and you don't know, you don't know what it's like business.

1349
01:10:40,720 --> 01:10:44,160
Speaker 2: It could be they could be relayed to somebody or

1350
01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:47,120
Speaker 2: have or you worked with them prior, or you don't know.

1351
01:10:47,120 --> 01:10:50,200
Speaker 2: They might when somebody taller, skinnier, bigger, darker, lighter. You know,

1352
01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:52,760
Speaker 2: you just don't know. And it's for you to sit

1353
01:10:52,800 --> 01:10:56,440
Speaker 2: there and just go crazy over it. It's so pointless.

1354
01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:58,519
Speaker 2: It's just you did your job when you went in there.

1355
01:10:58,560 --> 01:11:00,680
Speaker 2: You did the best you could do, and you leave

1356
01:11:00,720 --> 01:11:02,640
Speaker 2: it there and you just walk away and wait for

1357
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:04,439
Speaker 2: the next thing and then hopefully the next thing you get,

1358
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:06,360
Speaker 2: or if not, then you keep going to the next thing.

1359
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:07,960
Speaker 2: You know, it's just part of the game.

1360
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:09,640
Speaker 3: So at what point did it take you get there?

1361
01:11:09,640 --> 01:11:10,479
Speaker 3: You said it took a while.

1362
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:11,240
Speaker 4: Was it a role?

1363
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:14,160
Speaker 3: Was it an opportunity that made you go, you know what, God,

1364
01:11:14,160 --> 01:11:15,680
Speaker 3: I'll leave this in your hand. I gave it my

1365
01:11:15,760 --> 01:11:17,679
Speaker 3: best and I don't where you got to the point

1366
01:11:17,680 --> 01:11:19,600
Speaker 3: that y'all just talked about, Like while I get this

1367
01:11:19,640 --> 01:11:21,960
Speaker 3: call back, Oh yeah, I forgot about that where you're not.

1368
01:11:22,439 --> 01:11:25,840
Speaker 2: A while because well, I I'm gonna be honest. When

1369
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 2: I started getting offers, that's when I was like, Okay,

1370
01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:31,360
Speaker 2: this is where I want to be.

1371
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,200
Speaker 1: Else is auditioning for the offer that you.

1372
01:11:34,240 --> 01:11:37,960
Speaker 2: Got, understand. So when I started getting offers like just

1373
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:39,719
Speaker 2: coming to me like hey, will you play this role,

1374
01:11:40,040 --> 01:11:43,519
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, I'm here now, So if I do

1375
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:47,120
Speaker 2: auditioning between those offers, it's you know, it's okay because

1376
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,479
Speaker 2: I'm at a place now where I've gotten offers, you know,

1377
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:52,240
Speaker 2: straight up, like you trust what I can do. You

1378
01:11:52,280 --> 01:11:53,960
Speaker 2: know I can do the job, so you just offer

1379
01:11:54,040 --> 01:11:55,960
Speaker 2: me the part. So yeah, I think that's when I

1380
01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:56,479
Speaker 2: got to that point.

1381
01:11:56,680 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 1: We're very similar in certain ways because a lot of people, Okay,

1382
01:12:01,360 --> 01:12:07,320
Speaker 1: we're kind of hybrids, right because even our friend group,

1383
01:12:07,360 --> 01:12:12,440
Speaker 1: if you say, okay, describe us, it's not that easy,

1384
01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:16,400
Speaker 1: right because it's not one one thing or we want

1385
01:12:16,439 --> 01:12:18,160
Speaker 1: you want to cast me back in the day, we're

1386
01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:20,439
Speaker 1: want to cast me as a tough guy. Well, there's

1387
01:12:20,560 --> 01:12:25,200
Speaker 1: big intimidating, rough looking, tough guys that look tougher than me,

1388
01:12:26,600 --> 01:12:31,560
Speaker 1: or there's some studios studious guy. There's somebody looks completely

1389
01:12:31,640 --> 01:12:33,800
Speaker 1: like that. I'm kind of a hybrid, and so is she.

1390
01:12:34,640 --> 01:12:38,240
Speaker 1: I make sense as a lead, because usually your leads

1391
01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:43,519
Speaker 1: have attributes of your entire friend group. But like she

1392
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:46,400
Speaker 1: will get an audition to play the zany friend, which

1393
01:12:46,760 --> 01:12:48,800
Speaker 1: it ain't perfect for she got to go into just

1394
01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:52,400
Speaker 1: a character, or she'll be the you know whatever like

1395
01:12:52,479 --> 01:12:56,080
Speaker 1: but then there's a lead that's more like she, but

1396
01:12:56,280 --> 01:13:00,599
Speaker 1: somebody was more famous, you know, And I go, babe,

1397
01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:04,320
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's gonna be hard because you have

1398
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:08,800
Speaker 1: to you got to embody somebody who's just specific and

1399
01:13:08,840 --> 01:13:13,680
Speaker 1: they like the cast people who is the gum junior whatever.

1400
01:13:14,120 --> 01:13:16,080
Speaker 1: Now she's got to try to be that. But then

1401
01:13:16,080 --> 01:13:20,959
Speaker 1: there's somebody who looks like that in every frame, looks.

1402
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:23,000
Speaker 2: Like they are.

1403
01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:26,519
Speaker 1: You know, she's competing against somebody who's just like that.

1404
01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:29,440
Speaker 1: And so you know what I'm saying. And because there's

1405
01:13:29,120 --> 01:13:33,040
Speaker 1: this looks like every frame, arte types, art types, you know,

1406
01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:37,479
Speaker 1: and so how many hundreds of auditions. When I'm sitting there,

1407
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:42,120
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm I gotta play one one attribute

1408
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:45,920
Speaker 1: of my what my character is, you know what I'm saying.

1409
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:51,280
Speaker 1: So but then you go, okay, he's Marcus. I'm playing

1410
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:55,439
Speaker 1: somewhat of a character. But then you see Marcus has

1411
01:13:55,560 --> 01:13:58,920
Speaker 1: changed over time. It's kind of like, oh, that's more

1412
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:02,479
Speaker 1: like Mike. Now you know what I'm saying. But but

1413
01:14:02,479 --> 01:14:06,680
Speaker 1: but like I had to play my position, which is

1414
01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:12,160
Speaker 1: this you know, is dysfunctional half of a couple that

1415
01:14:12,280 --> 01:14:15,479
Speaker 1: becomes all of a sudden in the TV show. Now

1416
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:20,719
Speaker 1: we're the center and the other dysfunctional people are supporting us, right,

1417
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:24,439
Speaker 1: you see how that happens. So that that's usually you're

1418
01:14:24,439 --> 01:14:28,760
Speaker 1: playing a position. You're playing a position, and well, my

1419
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:33,719
Speaker 1: lovely wife is one of these people who naturally should

1420
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:37,600
Speaker 1: be the lead. She has attributes because you know, you

1421
01:14:37,680 --> 01:14:39,920
Speaker 1: got your lead. You you know, it's got to be

1422
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:42,320
Speaker 1: the vulnerable person that we got to be the person

1423
01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:47,600
Speaker 1: that you want to be. And so that's her natural inclination.

1424
01:14:48,240 --> 01:14:52,080
Speaker 1: And as that character, she sores. But you know, so

1425
01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:53,760
Speaker 1: that's just the way it is. Good.

1426
01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:56,439
Speaker 2: So I get called in for other like you said,

1427
01:14:56,640 --> 01:14:58,960
Speaker 2: the supporting of the best friend, or you know, or

1428
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:01,960
Speaker 2: just something, and I'm trying really hard to be that.

1429
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:05,040
Speaker 2: But it's just not naturally me. Gotta play a character

1430
01:15:05,200 --> 01:15:06,320
Speaker 2: just like in life.

1431
01:15:06,640 --> 01:15:09,519
Speaker 1: In life, you know, she's the one that you know

1432
01:15:09,600 --> 01:15:11,920
Speaker 1: with the wisdom and whatever. That's you know, usually the

1433
01:15:12,040 --> 01:15:14,880
Speaker 1: leading character, leading character, that's what. That's the things that

1434
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:19,360
Speaker 1: we're setting up. And we got some really exciting things

1435
01:15:19,439 --> 01:15:20,479
Speaker 1: we're gonna put together.

1436
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:24,280
Speaker 5: You have the right husband. I love how he sees you.

1437
01:15:25,360 --> 01:15:27,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, ain't the only world.

1438
01:15:28,280 --> 01:15:30,479
Speaker 5: I mean, I know that, but it's so important.

1439
01:15:31,280 --> 01:15:34,000
Speaker 1: People, you know, they give me extra credit because it

1440
01:15:34,040 --> 01:15:38,280
Speaker 1: is here. You know, people now they want to play

1441
01:15:38,320 --> 01:15:43,000
Speaker 1: with me because of this one. You know, she legitimizes me.

1442
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:43,960
Speaker 5: That's right.

1443
01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:47,479
Speaker 1: You know, you know they're like, you know, you make

1444
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:52,080
Speaker 1: your decisions exactly. He must not. He can't be all

1445
01:15:52,120 --> 01:15:57,400
Speaker 1: that bad. It ain't the other way around.

1446
01:15:58,280 --> 01:15:59,360
Speaker 2: Oh god, it ain't.

1447
01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:03,080
Speaker 1: It is not the other way around. I'm just being honest.

1448
01:16:03,120 --> 01:16:04,360
Speaker 1: It's not the other way around.

1449
01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:06,000
Speaker 5: I knew you had a good woe when you said

1450
01:16:06,040 --> 01:16:08,639
Speaker 5: she was from Alta. Dina shout out to everybody from

1451
01:16:08,640 --> 01:16:09,880
Speaker 5: Alina right now.

1452
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:11,720
Speaker 2: And we did not know that.

1453
01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:13,040
Speaker 5: We did not know that.

1454
01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:15,759
Speaker 2: We found today thinking.

1455
01:16:15,560 --> 01:16:18,880
Speaker 1: About it everything and somebody that says, oh wow, you

1456
01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:24,640
Speaker 1: know she's got him, so she's you know, you know

1457
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:30,120
Speaker 1: that she's in more favor because no, no, no, it's

1458
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:34,280
Speaker 1: not that way. No. I get cast for things and

1459
01:16:34,400 --> 01:16:45,840
Speaker 1: people go, where's Gillian. I'm like, she's not cast. Yeah,

1460
01:16:46,320 --> 01:16:51,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, you've just gotten me. So it's

1461
01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:57,080
Speaker 1: so apologized. Yeah, and then it's like, you know, it's

1462
01:16:57,120 --> 01:16:59,640
Speaker 1: just like and we're working on something together. I'm like,

1463
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:01,840
Speaker 1: oh man, it's so great to work with you. Mike.

1464
01:17:02,320 --> 01:17:04,880
Speaker 1: That's cool. Y'all gonna you ain't gonna care about me

1465
01:17:05,120 --> 01:17:08,240
Speaker 1: once my wife gets here, You're not gonna give a

1466
01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:13,679
Speaker 1: damn about me. I'm directing the movie in Thailand. Oh boy,

1467
01:17:14,720 --> 01:17:19,000
Speaker 1: what happened? What happened? Go ahead, I'm directing. I'm directing

1468
01:17:19,720 --> 01:17:22,599
Speaker 1: the movie in Thailand. I'm doing it.

1469
01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:24,240
Speaker 2: I'm the female lead.

1470
01:17:24,360 --> 01:17:29,760
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I'm the lead, writer, director and everything. I

1471
01:17:30,000 --> 01:17:35,639
Speaker 1: hired everybody. I'm doing the fight scene. It's one hundred

1472
01:17:35,640 --> 01:17:41,519
Speaker 1: and twenty degrees. I'm about to die. Between between takes,

1473
01:17:42,120 --> 01:17:45,120
Speaker 1: they wrap me and the other guy. I'm doing the

1474
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:48,920
Speaker 1: fight scene with in iced towels. Right, just to bring

1475
01:17:48,960 --> 01:17:53,920
Speaker 1: our temperatures down. Now, we yell cut right, and the

1476
01:17:54,280 --> 01:17:59,479
Speaker 1: entire makeup team is around her who's sitting ringside watching

1477
01:18:00,080 --> 01:18:06,840
Speaker 1: and then fanning her, and I'm.

1478
01:18:03,920 --> 01:18:08,160
Speaker 2: Like me fanning me, making sure that I'm okay, and

1479
01:18:08,160 --> 01:18:12,880
Speaker 2: and of course me, I'm just like, thank you, thank you.

1480
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:13,960
Speaker 3: It's so hot.

1481
01:18:14,200 --> 01:18:16,639
Speaker 2: It was so hot up. Can you get this little

1482
01:18:16,720 --> 01:18:17,320
Speaker 2: drop of sweat?

1483
01:18:18,760 --> 01:18:19,519
Speaker 1: Catch it? Thank you?

1484
01:18:20,760 --> 01:18:22,960
Speaker 2: I like to tell him I did have like a

1485
01:18:23,040 --> 01:18:26,800
Speaker 2: suit on and a wig. Yeah, so I was. I

1486
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:27,599
Speaker 2: was a little hot.

1487
01:18:27,760 --> 01:18:33,879
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I'm fighting Josh Barnett, former UFC heavyweight champion

1488
01:18:37,520 --> 01:18:42,320
Speaker 1: and one hundred and twenty degree tie heat. At least

1489
01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:46,599
Speaker 1: the producer, so I'm fit to help us out.

1490
01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:49,960
Speaker 2: He took care, he took care of.

1491
01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:51,960
Speaker 3: How does that feel that as we wrap up to

1492
01:18:52,040 --> 01:18:54,799
Speaker 3: be working those projects y'all get where y'all work together?

1493
01:18:55,200 --> 01:18:55,400
Speaker 1: Oh?

1494
01:18:55,520 --> 01:18:56,880
Speaker 2: I feel it's so much fun.

1495
01:18:57,280 --> 01:19:00,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. People think it's like tough, but of course it's

1496
01:19:00,160 --> 01:19:02,160
Speaker 1: going to be easier with your best friend, right besides you.

1497
01:19:02,280 --> 01:19:04,800
Speaker 2: Absolutely, because I mean we're we're helping each other out

1498
01:19:04,840 --> 01:19:07,360
Speaker 2: on set. I mean, whatever it is, we're doing it

1499
01:19:07,400 --> 01:19:09,720
Speaker 2: for each other. Even if there's someone who's designated to

1500
01:19:09,760 --> 01:19:12,479
Speaker 2: do that, I'm like, no, I got him, he has me,

1501
01:19:12,600 --> 01:19:13,200
Speaker 2: So we're good.

1502
01:19:13,240 --> 01:19:16,120
Speaker 1: You know, and we work with family too, like with

1503
01:19:16,479 --> 01:19:19,680
Speaker 1: Trouble Man, you know she you know he produce that

1504
01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:23,880
Speaker 1: with with me co star and you know my son,

1505
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:26,240
Speaker 1: you know, our son is a you know, he's an

1506
01:19:26,280 --> 01:19:27,600
Speaker 1: our assistant on that, you know.

1507
01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:31,479
Speaker 2: So Johnny Black, Wow, we started that together.

1508
01:19:31,760 --> 01:19:35,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's it's fun, you know, especially when something's hard.

1509
01:19:35,680 --> 01:19:37,200
Speaker 1: You want to go in there with your with your

1510
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,000
Speaker 1: best friend, with your best friend, the Light and the Low.

1511
01:19:39,439 --> 01:19:41,680
Speaker 5: And you guys are doing your podcast. What do you

1512
01:19:41,720 --> 01:19:43,480
Speaker 5: talk about on your podcast?

1513
01:19:43,840 --> 01:19:46,439
Speaker 2: Relationship marriage, relationships and.

1514
01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:51,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's called Fight for Love. Yeah, and so you know,

1515
01:19:51,400 --> 01:20:01,120
Speaker 1: kind of playing copet up, you know, compete up everybody lo. Yeah,

1516
01:20:01,200 --> 01:20:05,360
Speaker 1: so you know that's that's you know again, our highest

1517
01:20:05,680 --> 01:20:09,320
Speaker 1: uh service is service to others, you know. So that's

1518
01:20:09,439 --> 01:20:11,720
Speaker 1: that we've been blessing. We got to give that back.

1519
01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:14,760
Speaker 1: That's that's you know, you gotta in the day. The

1520
01:20:14,880 --> 01:20:18,479
Speaker 1: simple thing is, you know, you gotta be, you gotta

1521
01:20:18,880 --> 01:20:20,840
Speaker 1: you gotta serve and you got to live up to

1522
01:20:20,920 --> 01:20:25,680
Speaker 1: your potential. And so people ask for it. They say,

1523
01:20:25,800 --> 01:20:28,280
Speaker 1: you know, we we want you to share and I

1524
01:20:28,400 --> 01:20:30,679
Speaker 1: want to be. I want to continue that like what's

1525
01:20:30,800 --> 01:20:33,240
Speaker 1: been done for me. You know, if I didn't have

1526
01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:36,439
Speaker 1: these images, I wouldn't be where I am, and so

1527
01:20:36,600 --> 01:20:40,280
Speaker 1: I'm eternally grateful for that, you know, I'm glad I

1528
01:20:40,439 --> 01:20:43,080
Speaker 1: get a chance to do that for other plant seeds.

1529
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:45,160
Speaker 2: Right, I mean, I absolutely love. I'm sorry I was

1530
01:20:45,200 --> 01:20:47,760
Speaker 2: gonna say, I just I absolutely love when we get

1531
01:20:47,880 --> 01:20:51,320
Speaker 2: d ms and messages and even you know, even our

1532
01:20:51,439 --> 01:20:54,880
Speaker 2: driver in the car just now was saying how he

1533
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:56,800
Speaker 2: got teary I watching some of the stuff because he's like,

1534
01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:58,439
Speaker 2: you guys are the ultimate power cup. You are like

1535
01:20:58,880 --> 01:21:02,080
Speaker 2: such inspirations. And when I hear that from people, it's like,

1536
01:21:02,439 --> 01:21:05,920
Speaker 2: that's that's that's what it's all about. It's just inspiring

1537
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:08,760
Speaker 2: and motivating, and especially in terms of what we have,

1538
01:21:09,640 --> 01:21:11,679
Speaker 2: we would love for other people to, you know, experience

1539
01:21:11,720 --> 01:21:13,800
Speaker 2: what we have, and so if we can give back

1540
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:15,200
Speaker 2: as much as we can, that's what we try to do.

1541
01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:20,840
Speaker 1: Especially nowadays, man, when there's so much negativity and the

1542
01:21:21,120 --> 01:21:27,040
Speaker 1: social media stuff just just just celebrating that they got

1543
01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:32,639
Speaker 1: and everybody negative. They have a negative default setting. Yep.

1544
01:21:33,080 --> 01:21:34,800
Speaker 1: In the face of that, we we're going to talk

1545
01:21:34,800 --> 01:21:39,040
Speaker 1: about love and loving each other and changing that how

1546
01:21:39,080 --> 01:21:40,280
Speaker 1: to be better man.

1547
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:42,960
Speaker 3: So we we we aligned with that. Well, listen, I

1548
01:21:43,040 --> 01:21:45,240
Speaker 3: want you to grab that box there. I want y'all

1549
01:21:45,280 --> 01:21:48,519
Speaker 3: to It's going to be a key and a piece

1550
01:21:48,560 --> 01:21:51,080
Speaker 3: of paper there in the sharp. We grab that, write

1551
01:21:51,080 --> 01:21:53,240
Speaker 3: a key to love. You'll write a little statement or

1552
01:21:53,280 --> 01:21:56,240
Speaker 3: word whatever you want to leave with our audience and

1553
01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:58,680
Speaker 3: with us as a key to love. It'll be two

1554
01:21:58,760 --> 01:22:01,040
Speaker 3: of them there, all right on top of the box.

1555
01:22:01,240 --> 01:22:03,600
Speaker 3: And and then we'll have you hang that up on

1556
01:22:03,680 --> 01:22:04,760
Speaker 3: the Okay, so.

1557
01:22:05,840 --> 01:22:10,800
Speaker 2: The box right, Uh, don't forget to sign your name.

1558
01:22:11,120 --> 01:22:14,680
Speaker 3: Yes, so he's grabbed the whole box. Yeah, y'all use

1559
01:22:14,720 --> 01:22:19,560
Speaker 3: the box to write on top of it. Right, So

1560
01:22:19,800 --> 01:22:21,800
Speaker 3: write a write a word, write a statement, whatever you

1561
01:22:21,880 --> 01:22:24,360
Speaker 3: want to do, and just write a key to love.

1562
01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:25,080
Speaker 4: Uh?

1563
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:27,439
Speaker 1: Who do you think as well?

1564
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,120
Speaker 2: For starters? I am so happy that.

1565
01:22:30,160 --> 01:22:30,680
Speaker 5: She's from there.

1566
01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:34,000
Speaker 1: He's gonna say that you over.

1567
01:22:34,680 --> 01:22:36,680
Speaker 2: It's like and it's just.

1568
01:22:36,800 --> 01:22:39,599
Speaker 5: Like even knowing like her family, even with just dealing

1569
01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:42,439
Speaker 5: with you know, last year with Alta, Dina was dealing

1570
01:22:42,720 --> 01:22:45,560
Speaker 5: with like just to start off, and and know that

1571
01:22:45,760 --> 01:22:48,880
Speaker 5: about her already makes me love her. And then so

1572
01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:51,680
Speaker 5: I see what he means when he sees this light

1573
01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:54,960
Speaker 5: around this beautiful queen that that I am so blessed

1574
01:22:54,960 --> 01:22:57,360
Speaker 5: to have just spoken with this afternoon. But I love

1575
01:22:57,439 --> 01:23:02,559
Speaker 5: their love and I love how they I just see

1576
01:23:02,680 --> 01:23:05,200
Speaker 5: so much. I know we just started, but I hear

1577
01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:08,200
Speaker 5: so much of us in them, and it lets me

1578
01:23:08,439 --> 01:23:13,280
Speaker 5: so much like optimism and just hope, and I don't

1579
01:23:13,400 --> 01:23:15,400
Speaker 5: expect it's not every day that we sit down with

1580
01:23:15,840 --> 01:23:18,639
Speaker 5: a couple that where I feel so many similarity.

1581
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:22,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're serving purpose together, which is so beautiful. But yeah,

1582
01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:25,040
Speaker 3: on one of our one of my trips going to

1583
01:23:25,080 --> 01:23:29,400
Speaker 3: go meet Ashley out in California, she took me where

1584
01:23:29,439 --> 01:23:32,800
Speaker 3: our old house was in Altadena, and I saw it

1585
01:23:33,000 --> 01:23:33,960
Speaker 3: like burnt down.

1586
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:34,680
Speaker 1: All you saw it was a.

1587
01:23:34,760 --> 01:23:37,400
Speaker 3: Chimney because of course watching on the news, you really

1588
01:23:37,479 --> 01:23:40,559
Speaker 3: couldn't see the devastation that occurred in that city. When

1589
01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:43,519
Speaker 3: I went up that street, I was heartbreaking, I said,

1590
01:23:44,720 --> 01:23:46,560
Speaker 3: and she just she couldn't even look. She was just like,

1591
01:23:46,800 --> 01:23:49,120
Speaker 3: I can't see that was my old home, you know,

1592
01:23:49,840 --> 01:23:52,080
Speaker 3: And to know that the connection that she had, even

1593
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:55,280
Speaker 3: though her mom had since moved years of years from

1594
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:58,759
Speaker 3: that moment, but just to see it's just a chimney,

1595
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:00,519
Speaker 3: you know, it's just saying.

1596
01:24:00,920 --> 01:24:03,640
Speaker 2: Everything I grew up everywhere I went and played in

1597
01:24:03,800 --> 01:24:06,360
Speaker 2: the parks and just everything was just gone.

1598
01:24:06,520 --> 01:24:07,880
Speaker 1: So yeah, it was.

1599
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:09,960
Speaker 2: It was tough, and like my parents are still living

1600
01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:10,439
Speaker 2: there of course.

1601
01:24:10,520 --> 01:24:12,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, wow, all right, let's see.

1602
01:24:13,040 --> 01:24:15,760
Speaker 2: No way, same thing you did. I didn't see.

1603
01:24:16,280 --> 01:24:16,800
Speaker 1: No, you did it.

1604
01:24:16,960 --> 01:24:17,200
Speaker 5: We did.

1605
01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:20,080
Speaker 2: He was put in my face.

1606
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:26,680
Speaker 1: I just read read it the same Micael. Put your

1607
01:24:26,720 --> 01:24:27,439
Speaker 1: microphone close.

1608
01:24:27,680 --> 01:24:28,320
Speaker 2: Should we show?

1609
01:24:28,960 --> 01:24:31,559
Speaker 1: I want you all to read at the same time? One? Two, three?

1610
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:32,880
Speaker 1: No egos?

1611
01:24:33,640 --> 01:24:33,960
Speaker 4: Wow?

1612
01:24:35,560 --> 01:24:39,719
Speaker 2: And well I added you are a team? How crazy

1613
01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:41,360
Speaker 2: is that? Because I wasn't didn't even look at your I.

1614
01:24:41,400 --> 01:24:46,320
Speaker 1: Was talking about why do y'all say that? Oh boy?

1615
01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:47,400
Speaker 2: So many reasons.

1616
01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:50,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the ego thing is like it's a

1617
01:24:50,400 --> 01:24:55,400
Speaker 1: detriment to happiness. Uh. My philosophy is I love being

1618
01:24:55,439 --> 01:24:58,479
Speaker 1: wrong because every time I'm wrong, I learned something that's right.

1619
01:24:58,760 --> 01:25:01,400
Speaker 1: So why am I going to Why am I going

1620
01:25:01,520 --> 01:25:07,200
Speaker 1: to protect ignorance? Right? Yeah, well, I'm going to black

1621
01:25:07,320 --> 01:25:09,520
Speaker 1: myself from from learning something.

1622
01:25:09,280 --> 01:25:11,880
Speaker 2: Because you want to be right and so many times,

1623
01:25:12,080 --> 01:25:13,519
Speaker 2: you know, everybody wants to be right.

1624
01:25:14,520 --> 01:25:17,120
Speaker 1: I already know what I know. Right. You know, you

1625
01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:20,120
Speaker 1: got two ears and you know one mouthful for a reason.

1626
01:25:20,439 --> 01:25:23,760
Speaker 1: But like you know, if I can really hear what

1627
01:25:23,960 --> 01:25:27,880
Speaker 1: you're saying and I can learn from that, Like, then

1628
01:25:27,960 --> 01:25:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you know, thank you, because I didn't.

1629
01:25:31,479 --> 01:25:32,320
Speaker 1: I wasn't aware.

1630
01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:33,400
Speaker 4: Uh.

1631
01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:36,639
Speaker 1: And so I'm going to prove the opposition right before

1632
01:25:36,680 --> 01:25:39,960
Speaker 1: I prove I'm wrong. So I could possibly learn something

1633
01:25:40,040 --> 01:25:43,160
Speaker 1: that's good. But I might learn they're wrong. Yeah, but

1634
01:25:43,439 --> 01:25:45,559
Speaker 1: I can only learn that wrong by really hearing them.

1635
01:25:45,800 --> 01:25:46,240
Speaker 1: That's good.

1636
01:25:46,880 --> 01:25:49,120
Speaker 2: And I've always saw just ego just in general, it's

1637
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:53,080
Speaker 2: just detrimental when ego comes to play. Ego comes into play,

1638
01:25:53,240 --> 01:25:56,559
Speaker 2: It's it just always screws things up, you know, because

1639
01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:59,240
Speaker 2: it's it's this was thinking first, you know what I mean.

1640
01:25:59,280 --> 01:26:02,600
Speaker 2: It's like when you need to be especially in relationships,

1641
01:26:02,640 --> 01:26:05,519
Speaker 2: you need to be a team. It's it's teamwork. So

1642
01:26:05,600 --> 01:26:07,920
Speaker 2: why are you fighting again? Why are you opposing one another?

1643
01:26:07,920 --> 01:26:10,639
Speaker 2: Why are you fighting against one another? Without that ego,

1644
01:26:10,840 --> 01:26:12,679
Speaker 2: it's like it just makes things smoother.

1645
01:26:13,240 --> 01:26:13,640
Speaker 1: I love it.

1646
01:26:13,720 --> 01:26:15,679
Speaker 3: I once heard when I was like eighteen years old

1647
01:26:15,800 --> 01:26:18,840
Speaker 3: that the acronym for ego stood for edging God out,

1648
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:22,799
Speaker 3: And so I've always adopted that as a as a mindset.

1649
01:26:22,880 --> 01:26:25,000
Speaker 3: We'll go ahead, stand up if you will, please, and

1650
01:26:25,080 --> 01:26:27,240
Speaker 3: go hanging on one of those empty rungs.

1651
01:26:27,479 --> 01:26:29,760
Speaker 1: Isn't that cool what we said?

1652
01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:32,360
Speaker 2: We said, we're always finishing, Yeah.

1653
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:35,559
Speaker 3: Y'all, Yeah, y'all ended it perfectly. It's at the bottom.

1654
01:26:35,640 --> 01:26:45,240
Speaker 3: You got a hook there, Yep, yep, yep. Yeah, wow,

1655
01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:47,320
Speaker 3: same thing they said that.

1656
01:26:47,400 --> 01:26:49,000
Speaker 1: They said they they have the same brain.

1657
01:26:49,280 --> 01:26:52,560
Speaker 5: And we said, give us an example, and they were like,

1658
01:26:52,600 --> 01:26:53,120
Speaker 5: we got one.

1659
01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:56,559
Speaker 1: We don't even know. We're gonna show you. We're gonna

1660
01:26:56,600 --> 01:26:56,880
Speaker 1: show you.

1661
01:26:57,439 --> 01:26:59,040
Speaker 3: We can show you better, we can tell you better

1662
01:26:59,080 --> 01:27:04,160
Speaker 3: than we can tell you. Well again, make sure that y'all.

1663
01:27:04,760 --> 01:27:08,320
Speaker 3: On April the third, go out to see The Secret

1664
01:27:08,400 --> 01:27:13,360
Speaker 3: between Us, starring Michael John White, Lisa and Aarondale pronounced

1665
01:27:13,360 --> 01:27:16,960
Speaker 3: the last name and yeah and an all star cast

1666
01:27:17,080 --> 01:27:17,920
Speaker 3: is amazing cast.

1667
01:27:19,280 --> 01:27:22,760
Speaker 1: Well, I enjoy talking to y'all. Is this is a

1668
01:27:22,800 --> 01:27:30,360
Speaker 1: lot of fun. So color coordinated, coordinated. One of these

1669
01:27:30,520 --> 01:27:33,320
Speaker 1: kids is doing his own thing. One of these kids

1670
01:27:33,479 --> 01:27:38,439
Speaker 1: is doing the street I remember, Yeah, so made the

1671
01:27:38,520 --> 01:27:41,000
Speaker 1: love you shared today. Outlive the season you're in.

1672
01:27:41,439 --> 01:27:44,000
Speaker 5: May it carry you through the days when words are

1673
01:27:44,120 --> 01:27:44,760
Speaker 5: few and.

1674
01:27:44,960 --> 01:27:47,080
Speaker 1: Faith has to do the talking. Y'all give it up

1675
01:27:47,120 --> 01:27:47,960
Speaker 1: for the white y'all.

1676
01:27:50,600 --> 01:27:54,839
Speaker 3: Ladarium rusted suddenly into child protective services.

1677
01:27:54,880 --> 01:27:58,960
Speaker 1: In twenty fifteen, my nephew, Black a boy.

1678
01:27:59,600 --> 01:28:03,120
Speaker 3: The lack have been adopted outside of kinship slim to

1679
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:08,880
Speaker 3: none Rmione, sixteen years old, black a boy with five

1680
01:28:09,040 --> 01:28:11,479
Speaker 3: years in the Falseter care system before I even knew

1681
01:28:11,479 --> 01:28:11,840
Speaker 3: his name.

1682
01:28:12,680 --> 01:28:16,320
Speaker 1: The likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep, you guessed it.

1683
01:28:17,040 --> 01:28:17,960
Speaker 1: Slim to none.

1684
01:28:19,520 --> 01:28:22,479
Speaker 3: While Ladarian and Ourmiani were trying to survive and barely

1685
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:25,960
Speaker 3: thrive in an overpopulated and underfunded Falseter care system, I

1686
01:28:26,120 --> 01:28:29,439
Speaker 3: was living my own life, doing well professionally, having been

1687
01:28:29,479 --> 01:28:31,639
Speaker 3: a single father with a daughter who at that point

1688
01:28:31,760 --> 01:28:34,080
Speaker 3: was doing well in college. It was my time to

1689
01:28:34,160 --> 01:28:40,720
Speaker 3: live my life right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated.

1690
01:28:41,680 --> 01:28:45,000
Speaker 3: There are just too many of our black children stuck

1691
01:28:45,320 --> 01:28:48,599
Speaker 3: in ambiguity and in the limbo of the Falseter care system.

1692
01:28:49,320 --> 01:28:53,280
Speaker 3: In twenty seventeen, I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast

1693
01:28:53,320 --> 01:28:55,640
Speaker 3: forward to twenty nineteen. I had no ties to this

1694
01:28:55,760 --> 01:28:58,200
Speaker 3: other young king, but I felt God instructed me to

1695
01:28:58,320 --> 01:29:01,280
Speaker 3: adopt him also, and I O, Babe, starting over with

1696
01:29:01,439 --> 01:29:03,080
Speaker 3: parenting should have been enough.

1697
01:29:03,200 --> 01:29:03,280
Speaker 2: Right.

1698
01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:06,160
Speaker 3: Working with various foster care and adoption agencies to help

1699
01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:09,200
Speaker 3: bring awareness to the countless young Black Kings and.

1700
01:29:09,240 --> 01:29:11,519
Speaker 1: The foster care system should have decreased.

1701
01:29:11,640 --> 01:29:15,759
Speaker 3: My agitation right join the board of directors of Advantage Adoption,

1702
01:29:16,040 --> 01:29:19,679
Speaker 3: an organization that helps find permanent adoptive homes for children

1703
01:29:19,720 --> 01:29:22,320
Speaker 3: in falter care, should have led to some type of resolve.

1704
01:29:22,479 --> 01:29:26,800
Speaker 1: Right, No, not at all. None of it felt like

1705
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:28,000
Speaker 1: I had done enough.

1706
01:29:29,080 --> 01:29:33,160
Speaker 3: I now realized that every one of those experiences was

1707
01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:35,920
Speaker 3: land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

1708
01:29:36,880 --> 01:29:37,679
Speaker 1: Kingdom Royal.

1709
01:29:38,640 --> 01:29:41,280
Speaker 3: Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of the art

1710
01:29:41,360 --> 01:29:44,519
Speaker 3: home for foster boys. Our first location will be in

1711
01:29:44,560 --> 01:29:46,160
Speaker 3: the Dallas Fort Work Metroplex.

1712
01:29:46,280 --> 01:29:48,240
Speaker 1: We will utilize the whole person.

1713
01:29:48,040 --> 01:29:52,240
Speaker 3: Approach that instills identity, empowers them to advocate for themselves,

1714
01:29:52,479 --> 01:29:56,400
Speaker 3: and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and limitless.

1715
01:29:55,920 --> 01:29:58,840
Speaker 1: Options that they thought were impossible.

1716
01:30:00,080 --> 01:30:02,320
Speaker 3: Though the young Kings will attend the local public schools

1717
01:30:02,360 --> 01:30:05,479
Speaker 3: that are in proximity to King of Royale. Our at

1718
01:30:05,520 --> 01:30:09,360
Speaker 3: home curriculum will broaden their worldview through participating in the arts,

1719
01:30:09,520 --> 01:30:14,320
Speaker 3: attending various cultural events, learning about and engaging in multifaceted

1720
01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:19,040
Speaker 3: discussions about current events and even relevant historical contexts, introducing

1721
01:30:19,120 --> 01:30:22,280
Speaker 3: them to gardening and landscaping, and even caring for our

1722
01:30:22,439 --> 01:30:26,360
Speaker 3: animals on our form and on site stables. We just

1723
01:30:26,520 --> 01:30:29,920
Speaker 3: launched our startup capital campaign with the goal of raising

1724
01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:31,160
Speaker 3: two point eight million dollars.

1725
01:30:31,200 --> 01:30:32,599
Speaker 1: Now why two point eight million dollars?

1726
01:30:33,479 --> 01:30:35,800
Speaker 3: Well, In twenty seventeen, I created a web series in

1727
01:30:35,840 --> 01:30:39,400
Speaker 3: which I performed random acts of kindness for targeting.

1728
01:30:39,040 --> 01:30:42,360
Speaker 1: The homeless community. One of the most notable successes.

1729
01:30:42,040 --> 01:30:45,040
Speaker 3: Was that one of the videos went viral, garnering twenty

1730
01:30:45,240 --> 01:30:49,479
Speaker 3: eight million views. However, one of my biggest regrets is

1731
01:30:49,560 --> 01:30:51,800
Speaker 3: that I didn't raise a single dollar to help in

1732
01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:56,000
Speaker 3: implementing a more sustainable plan for the homeless community. So,

1733
01:30:56,160 --> 01:31:00,280
Speaker 3: throughout the years, with much remorse, I reflect them not

1734
01:31:00,439 --> 01:31:03,840
Speaker 3: maximizing that moment. I knew if at that time just

1735
01:31:03,960 --> 01:31:07,040
Speaker 3: ten percent of the viewers donated one dollar, we would

1736
01:31:07,040 --> 01:31:10,439
Speaker 3: have raised at least two point eight million dollars that

1737
01:31:10,520 --> 01:31:13,639
Speaker 3: could have really established long term support for the homeless community,

1738
01:31:13,960 --> 01:31:16,160
Speaker 3: or at least started a long term.

1739
01:31:16,080 --> 01:31:20,479
Speaker 1: Initiative to do so. This is my do over, this

1740
01:31:20,880 --> 01:31:22,200
Speaker 1: is our new beginning.

1741
01:31:22,400 --> 01:31:25,840
Speaker 3: Together, we can attack this at the route by specifically

1742
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:31,120
Speaker 3: helping our homeless black boys who are already disproportionately represented

1743
01:31:31,320 --> 01:31:33,000
Speaker 3: in the American fossil care system.

1744
01:31:33,680 --> 01:31:34,920
Speaker 1: I'm the Terisarwickfield.

1745
01:31:34,920 --> 01:31:38,320
Speaker 3: I've been nominated for three Regional Emmys documenting my work

1746
01:31:38,360 --> 01:31:41,280
Speaker 3: with the homeless as well as my personal adoption journey.

1747
01:31:41,880 --> 01:31:43,640
Speaker 1: Despite those accolades.

1748
01:31:43,720 --> 01:31:48,000
Speaker 3: The greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

1749
01:31:48,240 --> 01:31:52,720
Speaker 3: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more

1750
01:31:52,840 --> 01:31:54,400
Speaker 3: details Crown.

1751
01:31:54,240 --> 01:31:57,160
Speaker 1: Of King and make a donation today.

1752
01:32:03,920 --> 01:32:06,320
Speaker 3: I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Dear Future

1753
01:32:06,320 --> 01:32:11,840
Speaker 3: WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently, and

1754
01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:12,759
Speaker 3: don't stop loving.

1755
01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:16,200
Speaker 1: Make sure to subscribe to our Dear Future WIFEI YouTube channel.

1756
01:32:16,400 --> 01:32:19,880
Speaker 3: We're available on Apple Podcasts, Little Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher.

1757
01:32:20,160 --> 01:32:23,000
Speaker 1: You welcome your support. Simply share our podcast with your

1758
01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:23,719
Speaker 1: friends and family.