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Speaker 1: Because I want to offer them three options. One is

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Speaker 1: to move out, which means we're gonna pay your rent

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Speaker 1: and help you transition out.

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Speaker 2: Hold on, Hold on, You can't just throw that out there.

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Speaker 2: If y'all gonna pay two months of the couple's rent.

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Speaker 2: What made you envision during the grand wedding?

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Speaker 1: It really became out of division of how popular cohabitation became.

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Speaker 2: I wanted to preach about.

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Speaker 1: It, but I said, I never want to preach about something.

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Speaker 1: We're not giving people a pathway to restoration. We give

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Speaker 1: them three options. One move out, we're gonna help you

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Speaker 1: with to rent. Two move away from doing relationship this way,

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Speaker 1: find another pathway. And then the third one is marrying

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Speaker 1: now what we call a ninety day cohabitation challenge, and

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Speaker 1: at the end of that, we'll give you free wedding,

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Speaker 1: free dress. We're gonna take care of everything. You just

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Speaker 1: wor up on the relationships. We married over one hundred

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Speaker 1: and twenty couples, and we've seen how it's been redemptive

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Speaker 1: in their lives.

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Speaker 3: We were shacking up for seven months and then Pastor

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Speaker 3: Carter issued the call for the cohabitation challenge. We looked

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Speaker 3: at each other and we said that he is talking

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Speaker 3: to us at this is what we need to do.

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Speaker 2: For a woman to submit.

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Speaker 4: It's not just the man that she's trusting, it's really

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Speaker 4: the Jesus she sees behind him. My wife trusted that

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Speaker 4: Jesus she saw behind me more than I did. At

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Speaker 4: some point.

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Speaker 5: The number one question I got when she was pregnant

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Speaker 5: with Ethan was are you ready? And my counteractive question

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Speaker 5: would be, how could I be ready for something that

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Speaker 5: I've never done before? And that's the same thing when

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Speaker 5: it comes to marriage.

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Speaker 6: I want heard someone say find someone who you can

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Speaker 6: have a bad time with, And it's easy to have

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Speaker 6: a good time with someone, and there's no one else

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Speaker 6: that I would rather go through those bad times with.

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Speaker 6: So just take that leap of faith.

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Speaker 7: God was real loud in that moment. You know, it

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Speaker 7: was something that had been pulling in my heart. I

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Speaker 7: knew that I wanted to marry her, and I knew

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Speaker 7: that with how both of us were raised, with how

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Speaker 7: both of us operate, we wanted to do it the

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Speaker 7: right way.

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Speaker 8: It talks about the cohabitation challenge and he just introduced

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Speaker 8: to pay your rent part and I was.

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Speaker 2: Like, look, there you go. You can moving out.

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Speaker 9: We were literally visiting.

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Speaker 2: They said they was visiting them, but God visited them.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm talking about. And how many years are

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Speaker 2: been married going on sixteen sixteen years of marriage. That's

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Speaker 2: absolutely beautiful. How does your family feel about this? The

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Speaker 2: Dear Future WIFEI podcast has global impact From.

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Speaker 10: Texas, I have been on this journey of healing and

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Speaker 10: self discovery and this podcast has been a vital part

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Speaker 10: of my process.

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Speaker 11: God's establishing through you a legacy, a display of freedom,

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Speaker 11: founding authentic spirituality California.

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Speaker 5: I learned so much as a single man through your

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Speaker 5: podcast and continue to learn so much as.

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Speaker 2: Now a married man Nigeria. This is just therapy for me.

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Speaker 11: You have been healed.

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Speaker 1: I've been strengthen in my convictions on the sto to

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Speaker 1: do single Hoop Better.

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Speaker 12: Amsterdam way that you've shown us how it is possible for.

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Speaker 9: A man to be as intentional as you are.

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Speaker 2: New Jersey.

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Speaker 13: I appreciate your vulnerability.

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Speaker 14: I appreciate just being able to see that there is

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Speaker 14: life after divorce.

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Speaker 2: To New York.

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Speaker 8: I am a single woman, so these episodes really give

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Speaker 8: me hope and courage that God does have a husband

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Speaker 8: for me.

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Speaker 2: Discover Uncover and Recover Love. I'm Latis R. Whitfield and

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Speaker 2: this is season ten of the Dear Future Wifie podcasts.

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Speaker 2: Are you still shacking up with us? Now? That's gonna

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Speaker 2: be real funny by the end of this episode. If

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Speaker 2: you are still shacking up with us, can we get

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Speaker 2: a commitment? Hit that subscription button and subscribe. Make sure

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Speaker 2: you're showing your notification bell so you'll be notified about

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Speaker 2: upcoming episodes. Now listen, this is a special edition of

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Speaker 2: the Dear Future Wifie Podcast. We are at Concord Church

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Speaker 2: in Dallas, Texas, and this special episode is titled The

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Speaker 2: Grand Wedding. And so first we're going to just chop

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Speaker 2: it up with the leaders of this ministry, Pastor Brian

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Speaker 2: Carter and Stephanie Carter. Welcome to the Dear Future Wifie

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Speaker 2: Podcast Again. Y'all were a feature on the podcast before,

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Speaker 2: So let me ask you this real quick. Pastor Carter,

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Speaker 2: what made you envision doing the Grand Wedding? I was married,

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Speaker 2: cheated out of marriage. These eyes have seen the pain

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Speaker 2: of failure but also the possibility of redemption. These ears

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Speaker 2: have heard the lies you'll never change, but they've also

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Speaker 2: caught the whisper of truth. But Terris, you can learn

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Speaker 2: love on the level you've never known. This finger once

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Speaker 2: carried a val I wasn't ready to honor. Today is empty,

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Speaker 2: but it's unashamed. It's waiting on a covenant I'll protect

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Speaker 2: with wisdom. I'm no expert. I'm just a fellow student.

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Speaker 2: I've sat in Love's classroom, even spent time with detention,

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Speaker 2: but now I live with intention. That's why I wrote

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Speaker 2: Student of Love, because learning love never ends. Sit next

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Speaker 2: to me and cheat off of my paper. Cheat, Tony,

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Speaker 2: God show you a better word. Let's just cut to

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Speaker 2: the chase. Preorder this book and start the journey on

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Speaker 2: becoming a true student of love. Class it's now in session.

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Speaker 1: Thanks again for having us militarious. So it really became

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Speaker 1: out of division of how popular cohabitation became sixteen years ago.

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Speaker 1: It was so incredibly popular. It's even more popular today.

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Speaker 1: And then we begin to realize how many people were

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Speaker 1: impacted by it. I wanted to preach about it, but

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Speaker 1: I said, I never want to preach about something. I'm

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Speaker 1: not giving people a pathway really to restoration. And so

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Speaker 1: I remember the Sunday or I remember our team getting together,

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Speaker 1: I said, I'm a preach about it. By said, I

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Speaker 1: need y'all help to try to pull this off, because

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Speaker 1: I want to offer them three options. Really, one is

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Speaker 1: to move out, right, we talk about a biblical case

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Speaker 1: for cohabitation. One is to move out, which means we're

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Speaker 1: gonna pay your rent two months rent and help you

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Speaker 1: transition out.

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Speaker 2: Hold on hold, you can't just throw that out there,

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Speaker 2: so you said, as I hurt, y'all gonna pay two

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Speaker 2: months of the couple's rent. Right.

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Speaker 1: So, so, so here's what we know about cohabitation. You

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Speaker 1: never many times you slide. You don't decide, so you

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Speaker 1: drift in. The one night becomes a week. The duffel

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Speaker 1: bag becomes a few boxes, you know what. He moves

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Speaker 1: from a drawer to to to all the cosmetics. So

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Speaker 1: all those things begin to happen. So what often happens

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Speaker 1: is couples get stuck, right, they get stuck. So we

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Speaker 1: felt like, when we give a biblical perspective about it

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Speaker 1: cohabitation versus covenant, let's help people to figure out the difference.

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Speaker 1: And if they're there and don't want to be there,

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Speaker 1: but are stuck financially, we want to pay too much

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Speaker 1: rent to help you move out. The reason we do

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Speaker 1: that is because my wife and I we were shocking

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Speaker 1: before we got married, and my brother actually paid my

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Speaker 1: rent to help me kind of get to a different place.

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Speaker 2: Really, that's where it came from. So shacking.

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Speaker 15: Yes.

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Speaker 10: Now, listen, I was living my best life in my apartment,

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Speaker 10: doing my student teaching. I was minding my own business.

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Speaker 15: And then he.

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Speaker 10: Showed up at my apartment. I'll never forget. The other

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Speaker 10: had just come off and there was a knock on

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Speaker 10: my door and I was like, what are you doing here?

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Speaker 10: You're gonna get in so much trouble and he was

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Speaker 10: like I decided to leave.

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Speaker 15: I was like, leave where you're home? Oh, okay, all right.

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Speaker 10: And then I was kind of excited because this was

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Speaker 10: like in what January and we were getting married in June.

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Speaker 2: Also, you already had plan on getting married. We did.

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Speaker 2: I got put out of the house.

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Speaker 1: That's a that's another episode but but but but yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I just needed a place and I went over there,

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Speaker 1: but I just couldn't get I was a preacher to

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Speaker 1: I just I just didn't get comfortable.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: So my brother paid my rent helped me get to

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Speaker 1: a place until we were able to get married.

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Speaker 2: And so the program is kind of based on our own.

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Speaker 1: Story, right that we know what it's like for a

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Speaker 1: couple of be in that situation, and so we want

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Speaker 1: to help them. So for us, we give them three options.

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Speaker 1: One move out we'll go help you with your rent. Two,

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Speaker 1: move away from doing relationship this way, right, find another

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Speaker 1: pathway because oftentimes coapitation doesn't lead to long sustaining relationships, right.

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Speaker 1: And then the third one is mayor now, which is

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Speaker 1: if we want to put you through what we call

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Speaker 1: a ninety day cohabitation challenge, which we're gonna give you

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Speaker 1: ninety days. We're gonna put you through twelve weeks of classes,

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Speaker 1: teach you all about the foundation of a relationship, how

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Speaker 1: they work, how to deal with conflict, how to manage money,

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Speaker 1: how to deal with in law, all the things that

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Speaker 1: are important. And at the end of that, while you

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Speaker 1: work on the relationship, we'll take care of the wedding.

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Speaker 1: And at the end of that, we'll give you free wedding,

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Speaker 1: free dress, free tuxedo, free reception, free rings, invitations, cake,

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Speaker 1: We're gonna take care of everything. You just work on

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Speaker 1: the relationship because we want to help you move from

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Speaker 1: cohabitation to company.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying not to cry. Let me tell you something.

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Speaker 2: I don't know why it's making me emotional. Listen, you

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Speaker 2: know why this is so emotional to me. It's because,

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Speaker 2: as I expressed with you, it's back in the day

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Speaker 2: pastors would beat people over the head and be like,

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Speaker 2: stop shacking, you're going to hell. And you said, you know,

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Speaker 2: you got a little boogie. You call it cohabitation, but

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Speaker 2: you know where we come from, they call the shacking, right,

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Speaker 2: But you didn't beat people over the head. You said,

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Speaker 2: I'm coming from a place of what I experienced myself,

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Speaker 2: and we're going to give people a hand up and

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Speaker 2: help them have the tools necessary in order to have

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Speaker 2: healthy relationships. And because we know statistically that those who

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Speaker 2: cohabitate their marriages, you know the statistics based on that,

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Speaker 2: they don't really make it. And so you said, let's

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Speaker 2: go ahead and be a part of the solution and

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Speaker 2: give tools. But the fact that y'all went all in

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Speaker 2: as a ministry to say no, we're not just going

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Speaker 2: to give you counseling, but we're gonna pay for everything.

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Speaker 2: And people don't understand a lot of churches struggle financially,

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Speaker 2: and y'all saying y'all gonna go a step further and

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Speaker 2: not just make it about, you know, making sure the

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Speaker 2: lights stay on, but we're going to help people do that.

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Speaker 2: Where did that come from? I mean that had to

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Speaker 2: be a huge undertaken from a ministry.

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Speaker 1: I think the church is a place of restoration. I

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Speaker 1: mean that's what the gospel teaches. The gospel is redemptive,

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Speaker 1: and the church is a place where people get restored.

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Speaker 1: It's not just a place along where we call out

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Speaker 1: certain things. It's a place where we can help build pathways.

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Speaker 1: And so for us, it just fits what that's what

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Speaker 1: the gospel looks like. And so we've had so many

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Speaker 1: individuals over these sixteen years. We've married over one hundred

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Speaker 1: and twenty couples, and we've seen how it's been redemptive

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Speaker 1: in their lives. We've seen people come to faith and

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Speaker 1: accept Jesus Christ, the Lord Savior. We've seen people that

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Speaker 1: have said nobody in my family's married, I've never seen

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Speaker 1: it before. I'm going to be the first one to

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Speaker 1: break the cycle. We've seen children that now have their

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Speaker 1: mom and dad together. I mean, we've seen healing and

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Speaker 1: we've watched people get restored to their faith in God.

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Speaker 1: You know they weren't. We have couples in this church

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Speaker 1: right now. They've been a part of this journey. There

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Speaker 1: are some of our most faithful couples, most involved couples.

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Speaker 1: Then when their families come to celebrate that they're now

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Speaker 1: stepping in the marriage. It's a lot of work to

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Speaker 1: get through couple as they walk through those relationship. But

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Speaker 1: the end goal of celebrating that the Gospel is redemped

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Speaker 1: and restorative. And we have an amazing church they love

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Speaker 1: sponsoring couples. This weekend when we have our wedding, we've

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Speaker 1: got about one hundred and fifty volunteers, stylists, barbers, makeup artists, seamstress.

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Speaker 1: They show up and say, we want to help love

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Speaker 1: on people and make it happen we grow people.

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Speaker 2: Man, that's powerful. What we're gonna do, We're gonna go

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Speaker 2: around and allow the couples to introduce themselves and the

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Speaker 2: year that y'all got married. Matter of fact, let's makes

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Speaker 2: it for fun. I want the date and see I

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Speaker 2: hope y'all ain't debating over the dates, because the man

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Speaker 2: may I remember it was sometime in the year of

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Speaker 2: two thousand and nine. So I want you to introduce

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Speaker 2: yourself and the y'all's a wedding date.

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Speaker 12: Yes, my name is Otis and my beautiful wife Monique Seaberry,

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Speaker 12: and we've been married since October twenty fifth in two

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Speaker 12: thousand and.

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Speaker 2: Nine, two thousand and nine. And then we're gonna go

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Speaker 2: with y'all. My name is Kelvin Evans.

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Speaker 4: This is my wife Pshua Evans, and we were married

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Speaker 4: August twenty seventh, twenty sixteen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my name is Van Mary.

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Speaker 5: This is my beautiful bride, the Asian Mary, and we

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Speaker 5: got married September tenth, twenty twenty two, and.

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Speaker 2: We were part of the Grand Wedding twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 2: My name is Damon Gillery.

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Speaker 7: This is Hillary soon to be Hillary Gillery, and on

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Speaker 7: September twenty, twenty twenty five, we will be married.

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Speaker 2: That is beautiful, man. So when you look back, so

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go ahead and start with the OG's over here.

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Speaker 2: When you look back, let me ask you what made

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Speaker 2: you decide to participate in the Grand Wedding before it

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Speaker 2: became the Grand Wedding.

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Speaker 14: Well, we were actually doing because I think the if

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Speaker 14: I'm stating right, I think the week prior to that,

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Speaker 14: oh sorry, probably a week or so prior to that.

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Speaker 14: We started CSI, And this was prior to us actually

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Speaker 14: even being members here.

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Speaker 2: We were always people to understand what us.

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Speaker 14: Basically, it's a couple seriously interested, right, and we were cohabitating,

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Speaker 14: so we were closer, sorry, and so we were realizing

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Speaker 14: the importance of us doing the counseling and you know,

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Speaker 14: just learning about what this would look like as far

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Speaker 14: as the marriage. Yes, we were in a relationship, but

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Speaker 14: looks a little bit different when you step into that commitment.

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Speaker 2: So carteris, I remember how many people were a part

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Speaker 2: of that. The first one was maybe like fourteen fourteen.

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Speaker 2: How many people made it through that one was? I

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Speaker 2: mean at the very end, yes, so it may have.

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Speaker 1: Typically they start out with about thirty they start out committed.

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Speaker 2: By the time that counseling gets.

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Speaker 1: Done, you know, you end up with the with the

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Speaker 1: faithful few, right that have made it through that, the remnant,

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Speaker 1: and they were part of that piece. And also we

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Speaker 1: learned a lot. That was the first one, so it

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Speaker 1: wasn't a ninety day challenge. It was a thirty day challenge,

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Speaker 1: and so we we were a little ambitious and.

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Speaker 2: It was still falling off a live bit. Had y'all

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Speaker 2: just moved to Dallas.

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Speaker 12: So, yeah, I'm originally from New Orleans and I recently moved.

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Speaker 12: And actually I was going to church at Frenchill West

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Speaker 12: and we came here and heard your message, and I

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Speaker 12: just felt the genuine of your heart and how he

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Speaker 12: was preaching, and it was tugging on my heart. And

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Speaker 12: we heard the message. We came, we listened and from there, Yeah,

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Speaker 12: we was here not too long.

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Speaker 2: Hold on. So you came to church and visited and

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Speaker 2: that's when you heard the message about the cohabitation challenge.

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Speaker 12: It was so this is something that my wife has

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Speaker 12: been nudging me, and you know how women they throw

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Speaker 12: the nuggets like hey, And I was like, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, be specific. What was she saying?

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Speaker 16: She was like, we need to I need to man up.

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Speaker 16: I need to man up.

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Speaker 2: How long y'all living together? How long we're going on

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Speaker 2: to going on?

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Speaker 13: Yeah, we were going about two years.

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Speaker 14: So what actually actually happened so we didn't even know

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Speaker 14: about the thirty days challenge. He actually got a call

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Speaker 14: from one of the people over the counseling.

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Speaker 13: And we had missed that that Sunday and he.

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Speaker 14: Was like OI, and he was like yeah, what did

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Speaker 14: he actually like, are you ready or somebody?

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Speaker 13: He was like what, you know, Yeah, we're gonna come.

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Speaker 13: We're coming to the council.

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Speaker 14: He's like, oh, so you weren't there and he was

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Speaker 14: like what And anyway, so that's how that happened.

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Speaker 13: He called him and said get here to the church.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 13: Basically Pastor made.

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Speaker 14: This announcement and that's how that happened. So that's why

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Speaker 14: we fell in love with Concord because we were literally visiting.

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Speaker 13: And that's the.

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Speaker 2: Yes, they said they was visiting them, but God visited

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Speaker 2: them and so y'all came and then that was in

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Speaker 2: two thousand and nine.

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Speaker 16: Two.

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Speaker 2: How do you feel knowing that God was so intentional

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Speaker 2: that he by design set you up to come visit

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Speaker 2: for you to hear that, and now this is your home?

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Speaker 2: How do you feel about that? Looking back?

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Speaker 16: I mean you look back, He orchestrated everything. You know.

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Speaker 12: It's like God plays chess while we're kind of play checkers, right,

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Speaker 12: you know, he knows everything and how he's manipulating things

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Speaker 12: and putting things into place, and looking back at it,

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Speaker 12: I mean we've learned so much from the church, been

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Speaker 12: involved with the ministries, and there's just a lot of growth.

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Speaker 12: Our kids are involved and everything. So it's just been

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Speaker 12: a blessing to have and kind of set us up

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Speaker 12: for success.

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Speaker 2: So why did you decide? Because every man has a choice,

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Speaker 2: every woman has a choice? What made you submit to what?

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Speaker 2: Pastor Carter was preaching the call to a man up

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Speaker 2: as your as your wife said? What made you submit

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Speaker 2: to that?

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Speaker 12: I mean, personally, I know better, We all know better.

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Speaker 12: It's just a matter of if you want to continue

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Speaker 12: to do what you want to do and beat hard headed.

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Speaker 12: My parents have married, They've been married for forty eight years, really,

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Speaker 12: so so I've seen what a marriage, good marriage look like,

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Speaker 12: and I knew better.

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Speaker 16: And it's just again, you're being selfish. You want to

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Speaker 16: do what you want to do.

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Speaker 12: But guy's been tucking on my heart and finally it

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Speaker 12: just had to submit.

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Speaker 2: So let me ask you this. You saw a healthy

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Speaker 2: marriage for all those years. What made you decide the

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Speaker 2: cohabitation route. Was it due to finances? Was it? Were

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Speaker 2: you afraid of commit looks? She was shaking her head.

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Speaker 2: She answered for it, he had money, That wasn't the

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Speaker 2: reason that ain't the reason. So what what was the reason? King?

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Speaker 12: Well from again, I had just moved here from New Orleans,

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Speaker 12: so I came out here because of Hurricane k Katrina.

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Speaker 16: So I was part of that little.

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Speaker 14: And we were on a fast track with our relationship.

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Speaker 14: That's what happened, meaning we met and within a year

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Speaker 14: we were living together and having a baby coming on

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Speaker 14: the way.

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Speaker 13: So we were on a fast track.

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Speaker 14: And we just wanted to make sure because I learned

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Speaker 14: very early on children do not make you stay okay,

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Speaker 14: So we wanted to make sure that we really liked

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Speaker 14: each other and we could actually raise our family.

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Speaker 9: We did it out of order, but that's the truth.

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Speaker 13: That's what happened.

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Speaker 14: And being you know, in an environment that was willing

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Speaker 14: to invest and just willing to show you the way,

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Speaker 14: not just like you said, scorn you were you know,

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Speaker 14: you know, show you. It was just amazing and we

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Speaker 14: did not look back since then. It's just like, that's amazing.

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Speaker 2: So what was holding you up?

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Speaker 16: For me?

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Speaker 12: I it was just a matter of me making that decision.

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Speaker 12: I had to to finally kind of like I was

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Speaker 12: doing everything else right. I was going to church, I

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Speaker 12: was tithing, I was praying, I study, and I'm doing

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Speaker 12: all these things right. But yet there's one part of

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Speaker 12: my life that I know I am doing wrong. And

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Speaker 12: I didn't want to lose out on a blessing because

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Speaker 12: I wanted to be hardheaded and do what would I

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Speaker 12: wanted to do. So I just had to finally submit.

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Speaker 12: And he's been constantly on my heart. And you know,

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Speaker 12: even my dad, my mom would make comments and everything, and.

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Speaker 16: I know right right. So it's just a matter of

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Speaker 16: me getting out my own way.

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Speaker 2: So what did you think looking back when after you

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Speaker 2: you've done it the first time and then when you

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Speaker 2: saw the other couples come through the next time they

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Speaker 2: did it, was that an emotional moment for you to

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Speaker 2: know that they were about to embark on what was

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Speaker 2: afford it to you.

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Speaker 16: Yes, it is definitely emotional.

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Speaker 12: It's again a blessing to have a church that is

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Speaker 12: willing to stand by what they preach exactly. I say

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Speaker 12: one thing, but I'm gonna also show you the path

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Speaker 12: and then and I just show you once, but to

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Speaker 12: continue to continue to do it over and over and

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Speaker 12: over again and again. Just the genuinity of Pastor Carda

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Speaker 12: and his wife and the heart that they have for

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Speaker 12: their members.

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Speaker 16: It's just a match.

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Speaker 2: And how many years have been married?

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Speaker 14: Yeah, I'm going on sixteen, going on sixteen, y'all got

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Speaker 14: to give it up.

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Speaker 2: And that's sixteen years of mayriage. That's absolutely beautiful. And

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to ask y'all, is has it gotten

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Speaker 2: hard to where y'all was about to throw in the towel.

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Speaker 14: Every I'm saying, No, I don't know what he's saying.

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Speaker 14: I mean, we've had, I'm sure moments where it's tough.

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Speaker 14: But I told him I don't, well, at least in

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Speaker 14: my mindset.

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Speaker 16: I didn't.

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Speaker 14: I don't and I still don't believe in separation. I

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Speaker 14: feel like, either you're gonna be together you're not. So

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Speaker 14: either we're gonna.

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Speaker 16: Do it or we're not.

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Speaker 14: Like we're gonna work at this, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 14: And that kind of changes your mindset as far as

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Speaker 14: like Sand of Wars, because you know how some people like, oh, oh,

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Speaker 14: let's have a time apart. We will give three months,

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Speaker 14: Like no, either we go do this, you know, and

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Speaker 14: work this out through all our differences because we're not

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Speaker 14: the same person. But no, I've never been like I'm

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Speaker 14: leaving him, so.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your testimony.

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Speaker 16: Now, My testimony is the same.

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Speaker 12: I was just gonna say, every relationship, no matter what

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Speaker 12: it is, is always you have to work at it.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 12: One of the things I learned in our brotherhood that

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Speaker 12: you have to be intentional. That's the word that we

440
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 12: used right with to be intentional in making time.

441
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 16: And I remember.

442
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 12: I had was having a problems because I was working

443
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 12: a lot of hours. I remember I called passed a

444
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,960
Speaker 12: carter and I was asking, like, man, like she tripping,

445
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 12: I'm working these long hours. I'm the only one working

446
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 12: right right now. She needs to you know whatever. And

447
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 12: he's like, man, you need to say something for home,

448
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 12: Like yes, you are to bread when but at the

449
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 12: same time, you still need to save something for home.

450
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,760
Speaker 12: It's not fair for your job to get the best

451
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 12: of you and get all of you and then when

452
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,560
Speaker 12: you come home there's not left in the tank. And

453
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 12: when he said that, I was like, I have to

454
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 12: look at a different way.

455
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: Let me ask you this car is either one of

456
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 2: y'all can answer this. Studies showed that the marriage rates

457
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 2: in the black community are decreasing. It's in like in

458
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 2: the thirty percent time. And they said by thirty. Every

459
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 2: bout twenty thirty is going to be in the teens.

460
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 2: Why do you think is so important for marriages to

461
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 2: in our community.

462
00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 1: I think marriages is the foundation for the home right.

463
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 1: It is that commitment between the husband and wife that

464
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 1: then builds a home for the children. I mean, it's

465
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 1: there is something so significant about marriage being the cornerstone

466
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: or the family. And not only that, but even in scripture,

467
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 1: it's the foundation that scriptured when God begins that he

468
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: marries Adam and Eve and then they begin to build

469
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: from there. And so marriage is incredibly important. Jesus first

470
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: miracles that will way. I mean it's consistently the bride

471
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: of Christ the church, I mean it's consistently the marriage

472
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: is crucial. But the Black families are dealing with so

473
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 1: many challenges, the cohabitations on the rise, so we really

474
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,399
Speaker 1: have a lot of work to do. I think the

475
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 1: church has to be a champion for marriage, right. I

476
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,439
Speaker 1: think the church has to champion and help men to

477
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: understand our role because the truth be told, we talk

478
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 1: about cohabitation. At the end of the day, is not

479
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: the woman that doesn't want to get married or delaying

480
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 1: oftentime to assist at our feet where men are not

481
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 1: taking that step, not take in that responsibility, and so

482
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: you end up where we are today. And so I

483
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 1: think those are issues one, helping men to understand marriage

484
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 1: is a good thing. Right, It's a valuable thing. It's

485
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: not something you want to wait and delay it till

486
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 1: you know I've done all I can do and now

487
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get married. No, it's a beautiful institution. It's

488
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,919
Speaker 1: a beautiful relationship and the blessings that come with it

489
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,880
Speaker 1: are significant.

490
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 2: But we got to learn to value it, hold.

491
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 1: It high, and then you gotta I mean to be honest, right,

492
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: the whole sexual temptation people, Men are often taught to

493
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 1: enjoy as much as they can and delay it. We

494
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: got to teach men that marriage is important. When you

495
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,879
Speaker 1: find something good, make sure you commit to her and

496
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: stay with her, not delay it.

497
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 2: Well, passor Carter, let's talk. You know where are we

498
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 2: taught as men? Like we're taught stuff like you know

499
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 2: a man is about to walk down the aisle in

500
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 2: two hours and back in the groom suite. It was like, Ah,

501
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 2: if you've been able to get that old ball and change,

502
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 2: you know, why why is it spoken of like we're

503
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 2: about to have a you know, a death walk or something.

504
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 2: Why why why is it so? And they're like, yeah,

505
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,479
Speaker 2: you're gonna leave all these women to me. You got

506
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 2: the same one woman for the rest of your life.

507
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,760
Speaker 2: We just make it so bad. Why do you think

508
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 2: that is? The world has taught us that, right. It's

509
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:14,640
Speaker 2: not a biblical perspective.

510
00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: The political perspective says marriage is valuable, that it's your

511
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 1: opportunity to serve christis you serve your wife. But the

512
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: world tells us that sex as our men have a

513
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 1: high sexist ride, and the world tells us, get as

514
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 1: much as you can from as many as you can,

515
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 1: and so many spend a lot of years living that out,

516
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:37,400
Speaker 1: enjoying the enjoying the opportunities that they have, and then

517
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: later on settle down.

518
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 2: So we have to read they right now.

519
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 15: Holding it hold up.

520
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 2: This is the fact that she has said, this is

521
00:25:59,080 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 2: what men do.

522
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: We get as much as we can, and we don't

523
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 1: until we realize that doesn't work.

524
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 2: Right.

525
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: At some point that gets old? Right, at some point,

526
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 1: hopefully it gets old?

527
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,120
Speaker 2: Man, does it get old? I mean, y'all better answer

528
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: right right.

529
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 15: There, you answer quick.

530
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:21,359
Speaker 2: Let me go to the couple of twenty sixteen. Listen,

531
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 2: Kelvin and Pashua. So what made y'all decide to take

532
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 2: the call and participate in the grand wedding?

533
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 4: But we both come from two parent households, so we

534
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 4: have seen very up close what that looks like. To

535
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:49,320
Speaker 4: say that we had challenges in our relationship up until

536
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 4: the point of me moving down here would be a

537
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 4: would be an understatement.

538
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 2: And a lot of it was me.

539
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 4: I had been married before, and some of the baggage

540
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,680
Speaker 4: that I carried from being divorce I allowed to show

541
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 4: up in our current relationship.

542
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 2: So we moved down here. Move from where where'd y'all

543
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,200
Speaker 2: move from? From Milwaukee?

544
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 15: He ran away?

545
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 2: He ran away? Run, he ran away from drove? I drove.

546
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 2: He drove here. Run You got a car and drove.

547
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 2: You came all the way from Milwaukee? Yes?

548
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 4: And what year was this? This is in twenty fourteen,

549
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 4: So twenty fourteen. Yes, and uh uh. To back up

550
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 4: what ODIs said about just feeling a draw here, I

551
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,120
Speaker 4: came to Concord. I heard past the car to preach

552
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 4: one time, and I knew I was going to join Concord.

553
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 4: I thought I was gonna gonna visit other ministries and

554
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 4: and and find a place. But I heard him preach

555
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 4: one time and I was like, yeah, this is I

556
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 4: don't know what else we're gonna figure out. But we

557
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 4: got a church when I came to Concord. But but

558
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 4: it was something we had been talking.

559
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 2: About for a while.

560
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 4: We knew we wanted to and I will say, as

561
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 4: Pastor Carter just just mentioned, I still had cold feet

562
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 4: because when we first met, I had sworn off getting

563
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 4: married again.

564
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 2: I didn't want to have children.

565
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 4: I was like the pain of that was still very,

566
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 4: very fresh. But something about her, even in the way

567
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 4: that that we met, it was different. She was special

568
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 4: the way that she kind of called me to as

569
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 4: Odas said, stepped fully into my manhood and treat her

570
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 4: as the blessing that God had sent me.

571
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: And just again here.

572
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,400
Speaker 4: In the call that that met, you know, we didn't

573
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 4: know that was going to be what the message was

574
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 4: that day, but here and it we kind of looked

575
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 4: at each other and I told her, I said, you know,

576
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 4: he's talking to us as Pastor Carter was issuing that challenge,

577
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 4: and he absolutely was. And it wasn't even really a decision,

578
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 4: So we just kind of looked at each other and

579
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 4: shook our head and and said, whatever, this has got

580
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 4: to look like we're gonna do it.

581
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: So hold on. How many times had y'all visited prior

582
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 2: to that call? Oh? Yeah, we had, she had.

583
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 4: She moved down in twenty fifteen, so we were already

584
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 4: attending Concord. We had been in Concord for probably seven

585
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 4: months together before the cohabitation challenge, So y'all were dating for.

586
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 2: How long before y'all took part in the grand winding?

587
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 2: For four and a half years. Four and a half years.

588
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 3: So we actually met in twenty eleven, and so we

589
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 3: were dating and then he moved here in twenty fourteen.

590
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 2: We had a long distance, a long.

591
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 3: Mistess relationship for one year and we picked a date

592
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 3: November fifteenth, and so one year from now, I'm going

593
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 3: to move down and then we're just going to live together.

594
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 3: So we were shacking up for seven or you know,

595
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 3: seven months, and then Pastor Carter issued the call for

596
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 3: the cohabitation challenge, and like my husband said, we looked

597
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 3: at each other and we said, he is talking to us,

598
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 3: and this is what we need to do, and we

599
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 3: have to trust and have faith, and we.

600
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: Did, so did you have any fear? So were you

601
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: putting pressure on him to get married in those four years?

602
00:29:59,080 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 13: No?

603
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 2: None, So I was not. So he was okay with

604
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 2: living together.

605
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 13: I was okay.

606
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 15: I trusted him.

607
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 2: So you trusted that he will do what because I

608
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 2: didn't want to get married? Did he tell you he

609
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: wasn't gonna get married and what he is and you

610
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: trusted what he was going to try?

611
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,239
Speaker 3: He told me that he did not want to get

612
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 3: married and he did not want to have kids. And

613
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 3: I said, it's okay, I trust you.

614
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 2: What did you trust?

615
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 15: I trust that he would, you.

616
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,239
Speaker 3: Know, like he said, step into his manhood and just

617
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 3: really listen to what God was saying to him. And

618
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 3: when we first attended Concord together, was that first Sunday

619
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 3: that I moved down in twenty fifteen in November, and

620
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 3: he told me, he said, we could stay at Concord

621
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 3: or we could go to another church. And it felt

622
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 3: like home when we stepped to Concord, when we sat

623
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 3: down in our seats, I said, this feels like our home.

624
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 3: And I trust and believe that we will grow together

625
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 3: because I know that like this is where we're meant

626
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 3: to be.

627
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:57,600
Speaker 2: So hold on for sure. So listen because this is interesting.

628
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: It's so good because it's women like I don't trust

629
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 2: to me and told me what it is. I should

630
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: listen what he said at the first time. You're betting

631
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 2: on futures, so you're saying that he told you straight up,

632
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 2: he does not believe in marriage. He's not gonna get

633
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 2: married anymore, get married again, didn't even want to have

634
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 2: kids all that, and you trusted his leadership to lead you.

635
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 2: Where did you desire marriage?

636
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 3: I did desire marriage, and we had talked about marriage,

637
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 3: and we talked about what he was afraid of, you know,

638
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 3: trying to get married again. And I understood why he

639
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 3: was afraid. And so I just believe that, you know,

640
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 3: if I wanted to get married, if he wanted to

641
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 3: get married, you know, God could turn that around.

642
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 15: I didn't want to force it.

643
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 3: I didn't, you know, nag him every single day saying

644
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 3: what else is there?

645
00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 15: I just believe that, you know.

646
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,479
Speaker 3: This was going to happen if we just did what

647
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 3: we were supposed to do.

648
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 2: Which is good. That's why that's why you felt the

649
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 2: importance of being in a in a church like this

650
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,840
Speaker 2: where you could trust the leadership of the pastor to

651
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 2: lead your your boas. So so okay, so I see

652
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 2: what you're saying. So you're saying basically, you trusted his leadership.

653
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 2: You understood that he had some pain that he had

654
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 2: to work through, and so he would just trusted that

655
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 2: he would submit to leadership to be able to overcome

656
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: those ideosecrecies so that he could become the man that

657
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 2: you saw in him.

658
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 15: Absolutely.

659
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 3: You know, I believe that everybody has skeletons in their closet,

660
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 3: you know, and he was able to reveal those to me,

661
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 3: and so knowing that he was able to reveal those

662
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 3: secrets to me and me not judge him for any

663
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 3: of it me understanding that you know, everybody has a

664
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 3: relationship PTSD. Yes, and so I trust and believe that,

665
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 3: you know, we can overcome whatever it is that we're

666
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 3: going through. If there's no judgment. I'm not judging you

667
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 3: for the things that you you know, have been through.

668
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 3: I'm not judging you for the things that you have done.

669
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 3: But I'm building on the promise of you know, tomorrow,

670
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,719
Speaker 3: I'm building on the promise that you know, we're going

671
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 3: to be in the word, We're going to be you know,

672
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 3: having a relationship with God. We're going to be having

673
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 3: a relationship with each other. We're building our relationship based

674
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 3: on this foundation that God said, Hey, let me be

675
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 3: at the center of your relationship and I will cover

676
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 3: all of you.

677
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 2: Now see why I changed my mind? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

678
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 2: I was about to ask you. I was about to

679
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 2: ask you. So did you feel the responsibility at that point?

680
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,640
Speaker 2: When you have a woman that's rocking with you like that,

681
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 2: that's saying hey, you can reveal you know your flaws

682
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,160
Speaker 2: and all whoever you are. I'm not gonna judge you.

683
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 2: Did that make you or inspire you to rise up

684
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 2: to the challenge? It absolutely did.

685
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 4: Something we talk about in CSI Couple Seriously Interested is

686
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 4: when a woman when when they enter into the marriage relationship,

687
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 4: it's seeing the God, seeing Jesus standing next to and

688
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 4: behind the man.

689
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 2: One thing I'm very very thankful to say it again

690
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 2: for the people in the back you said, you said,

691
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 2: now say that again.

692
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to for a woman, a wife to

693
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 4: submit to a husband. First of all, that's that's often

694
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 4: a four letter word, right right, that that that evil

695
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 4: word of submission. But for her to do so, it's

696
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 4: not just the man that she's trusting. It really the

697
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 4: Jesus she sees behind him, guiding his decision, working on

698
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 4: his heart, working on his mind, working on his decision

699
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:12,399
Speaker 4: making process. And one thing I'm very very thankful for

700
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 4: is my my wife trusted the Jesus she saw behind

701
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 4: me more than I did at some point because I

702
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 4: thought my baggage, the things that I had been through,

703
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 4: the scars I brought into our relationship, would be too

704
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 4: much for us to overcome.

705
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 2: She didn't.

706
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,320
Speaker 4: So so in that way, she she trusted Jesus behind

707
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 4: me more than I did.

708
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 2: For a period. Got a quest, shoot, how long do

709
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 2: you think you would have waited? Yes? Because I was like,

710
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,600
Speaker 2: you trust him, but when you're a way like tena.

711
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 3: You know, we actually talked about marriage, and so it's

712
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 3: been you know, like conversations that we've had in the past,

713
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 3: and so, I mean, I felt like he was leaning

714
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 3: towards that direction. But you know, if you push too hard,

715
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,080
Speaker 3: he'll pull away. So my my job back you know,

716
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:04,439
Speaker 3: I'm encouraging him and not pushing him.

717
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,720
Speaker 2: So you found the balance between encouragement and not pushing. Yes,

718
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 2: isn't that interesting balance? It is? Ain't it? And so

719
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 2: so explain to people who's hearing this terminology CSI is

720
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 2: that something that people just explain what CSI is.

721
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 1: So CSIS are kind of our pre marital class. It's

722
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,839
Speaker 1: called Couples Seriously Interests, a twelve week class, but it's

723
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: designed for couples that are serious about their relationship and

724
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 1: for the help them decide are we moving toward the

725
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: pathway to a marriage or maybe we are not as

726
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: compatible as we think.

727
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 2: And so have y'all had that the beginning of the

728
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 2: inception when you took over administry here.

729
00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: So we've always had some type of premarital it's evolved

730
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 1: over time to strengthen it. And that's the same tool

731
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: we use for any couples, whether they're coabtain or not.

732
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: We offer it three times a year and it's designed

733
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,919
Speaker 1: to help couples to learn the basics and the foundational

734
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 1: principles for relationships and then it helps them to take,

735
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,839
Speaker 1: you know, a next step. Some end up marrying at

736
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 1: it and some find out halfway through this we're not

737
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: where we need yeah.

738
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 15: Yeah, And you don't have to be a member to

739
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 15: take it or you don't.

740
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: No, So while y'all have it like that, we always

741
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,800
Speaker 1: want to reach people. I mean, our goal is to

742
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: reach people, whether they're in the church in the community.

743
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,399
Speaker 1: We just love people and to reach them. So we're

744
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:19,880
Speaker 1: always open to anybody.

745
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 2: See y'all do stuff that's just like y'all think is normal.

746
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 2: That's not normal. I'm telling you that it's not normal

747
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,240
Speaker 2: for churches to open up the doors actually to the community.

748
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 2: And so every time you say something like that that

749
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 2: y'all think is just because it's the culture of y'all church,

750
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 2: I'm going to amplify the fact that that's not normal.

751
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 2: And so the fact that y'all do that to say, hey,

752
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 2: you know, and I'll share this, it's been churches. I

753
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 2: was trying to find a church in Los Angeles, Like

754
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 2: I said, I'm getting married to even you know, rent

755
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 2: the church to actually get married to. And they're like, well,

756
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:55,839
Speaker 2: if you're not a member here, you can't, you can't

757
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 2: rent the church. I'm like, well, my money as good

758
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 2: as y'all members money money, Why can I do it?

759
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 2: And we don't do that. I was like, man, I said,

760
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 2: it's so hard to find churches that say we're all

761
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 2: the body of Christ. And so what I love about

762
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 2: Concord is y'all not playing with that with the with

763
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 2: the slogan we grow people. And the reason why I

764
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 2: keep echoing it because that's one of the things that

765
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 2: touched me the most. I said, we grow people. That's

766
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 2: what I'm talking about. That's what churches should be about.

767
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 2: What you want to say, No, we appreciate that. I mean,

768
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:24,719
Speaker 2: that's that's just that's our DNA, right.

769
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 1: We just believe our mission is people growing people by

770
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 1: connecting them to their next step with Christ. And so

771
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 1: we just believe that we're in the city for the city,

772
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: and we believe the more we can impact and serve

773
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 1: our community, the more we can spread the gospel, and

774
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 1: the more people can experience the wholeness and the potential

775
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,919
Speaker 1: and the power to which God has called them lived

776
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: their lives through relationship with Him and in the community.

777
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 2: So we're grateful. Love it, love it, love it all. Right,

778
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,919
Speaker 2: y'all A little behind me, But twenty twenty two, y'all

779
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 2: got married, Yes, sir, go and explain your story. Evan

780
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 2: and the Asian.

781
00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 5: Uh So, we have quite a unique story. We've been

782
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,960
Speaker 5: knowing each other a very long time. We are high

783
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 5: school classmates. We graduated high school together. We never for

784
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 5: y'all go to Washingt Chapel High School in Palmblo, Arkansas.

785
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 2: A lot of y'all be coming from other states. Y'all

786
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 2: got anybody from Dallas around here, y'all y'all from Dallas.

787
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 2: See everybody, just everybody, just everywhere, y'all, y'all take people

788
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 2: from all.

789
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 15: Across the word unit Dallace is it. He's transplanted city,

790
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 15: I know it.

791
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 2: But everybody just keep popping up from everywhere. All right.

792
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: It's a little here, part of little ministry. Yeah.

793
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 5: So, like I said, graduated high school together and never

794
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 5: had any relation.

795
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 2: Did I want her? Yes? Did I get her to know?

796
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 5: But you know that's another story for another day because

797
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:38,759
Speaker 5: I joke with all the time and I just I

798
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 5: just tell her, I was just like, you know, if

799
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 5: I would have gotten you in high school, we wouldn't

800
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,439
Speaker 5: be here today because I was a boy, not a man,

801
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:47,919
Speaker 5: and I had a lot of growing to during that time.

802
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 5: And of course she agreed, so you know, matriculated on,

803
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 5: I went to my university, she went to her university,

804
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 5: and she moved to Dallas.

805
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 2: I don't quote me. On the year.

806
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 5: Seventeen and I was still in Arkansas getting my bachelors,

807
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 5: and I went directly back for my master.

808
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 2: So I stayed there to twenty nineteen.

809
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,479
Speaker 5: Matriculated to the professional world, you know, after I got

810
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:10,320
Speaker 5: my masters.

811
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 2: Of course, she was still in Dallas.

812
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,520
Speaker 5: Had my first stint at at Grahama State. So I

813
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,839
Speaker 5: was down in Louisiana for you and have pandemic hit.

814
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 5: And then I took another position down at Jackson State

815
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:24,919
Speaker 5: while Dean Sanders was there in athletics, and so during

816
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 5: during my time, we were doing distance as you as

817
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 5: you hear all of that, we're doing distance at this point.

818
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 5: So we this was like when was this? This was

819
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 5: like in May Memorial Day of twenty twenty May twenty

820
00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 5: I came down to Dallas, just visiting and you know,

821
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 5: you know how you post on the ground, you know,

822
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 5: we grilling this weekend, you know how, come.

823
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 2: Pull up or whatever.

824
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 5: And so she slid up and she said, me and

825
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 5: my girls in town. You know where are y'all? What's

826
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 5: the moving or whatever? And I was like, okay, you know,

827
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 5: y'all can come over over whatever. And I got to

828
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 5: see you the address fast forward.

829
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: I stood her up.

830
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 5: I didn't send her that and you didn't stand up.

831
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 2: It was going well, and you done stood the woman up.

832
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, so, cause, like I said, I've been wanting in

833
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 5: high school having her from her since probably, so I'm like,

834
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 5: I just know she probably didn't mean to slide up

835
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 5: on my story, you know, So I was an accident. Yeah, yeah,

836
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 5: So so fast forward, I stood up. I was talking

837
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 5: to one of my guys and I felt bad the

838
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:21,879
Speaker 5: next day and I was just like, man, I think

839
00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 5: I missed out on an ample opportunity on my forever and.

840
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 2: He went on, hold on, you didn't say mine forever?

841
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 2: Did Yes?

842
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 5: I said, I think I missed out on the opportunity

843
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 5: on my forever and he was like, what are you saying?

844
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 5: I was just like, I remember I told you the

845
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 5: Asia girls are here and now just a new day,

846
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 5: and you know that may not be the same today.

847
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 5: So I said, you know what, I'm still gonna shoot

848
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 5: for I'm still gonna go for it.

849
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 2: And so I had hit her up.

850
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 5: I said, hey, sorry, things transferred the way they did.

851
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 2: You know yesterday? Are your girls still here? You know?

852
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 2: Some more your day?

853
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,160
Speaker 5: You all of a sudden, you know, you off Monday,

854
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 5: so you still kicking it on Sunday? So I told her,

855
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,440
Speaker 5: all your girls still here, and she was just like,

856
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 5: unfortunately they're gone home. And so I'm just like I'm

857
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 5: telling my God, I'm like, I'm devastated. I don't know

858
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,279
Speaker 5: what to do. And I just sat in thought and

859
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 5: I actually prayed. I actually prayed, and I said, God,

860
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 5: just for me, let it before me. And this is

861
00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:09,319
Speaker 5: what I text her, and she can quote me if

862
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,840
Speaker 5: I lied. I text her, I said what's your plans

863
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 5: for today? And she was like, I don't have any plans.

864
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 5: This is my My exact message was razus three pm.

865
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 2: Be ready? Is that okay?

866
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 5: She tests back and she said, yes, it is pouring

867
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,800
Speaker 5: down rain, and I was like, the devil is working

868
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:25,439
Speaker 5: over time.

869
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 2: It is pouring down right.

870
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 5: And I'm like, I just know she was about the

871
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 5: counselor she is about the counsel on me. But I

872
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 5: still saddled up. You know, when it got her went

873
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 5: to Razuls. Y'all know today good when you don't really

874
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 5: eat the food and you know you gotta take the

875
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 5: entire place to go.

876
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 2: But just the fast forward.

877
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 5: We stayed in Rezuls probably three and a half hours,

878
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,360
Speaker 5: just just just talking. And so they begin kind of

879
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 5: our journey because after that, I basically kidnapped her that

880
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 5: day and told her, you're gonna be with me all day.

881
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 5: You know, we're gonna we're gonna enjoy this because I

882
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 5: don't know if I'm making another opportunity, I'm gonna make

883
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 5: the I'm gonna make.

884
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 2: The most of it.

885
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 5: So that was that we started having conversation. After that started.

886
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 5: You know, the more you talk, the feelings growing things

887
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,759
Speaker 5: like that. Keep in mind, we're still doing distance at

888
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:06,399
Speaker 5: this time, and so I'm down in Mississippi at this point,

889
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 5: she's here at the six hour hike.

890
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 2: It was every other weekend.

891
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:10,600
Speaker 5: I was doing it, coming back and forth, you know,

892
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 5: just because I really wanted.

893
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 2: This to work.

894
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:13,880
Speaker 5: And if she had to come to me, you know,

895
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 5: I would fly her to Mississippi, but we kind of

896
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 5: made it and I would drive so fast forward November

897
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:21,800
Speaker 5: she got she gets pregnant.

898
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 11: November of twenty one.

899
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 5: November, yeah, yeah, yeah, November twenty one, she gets pregnant,

900
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 5: and we're still doing distance at the time. She's here.

901
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 5: I'm there, and so I told her I she was like,

902
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 5: she's crying. She's like because we were actively trying, I

903
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 5: will say, but she was like, what am I trying

904
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:37,360
Speaker 5: to get pregnant?

905
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 2: Yeah? We were okay. Yeah. She was like, what are

906
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 2: we what are we going to that's the very first question.

907
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,279
Speaker 2: What are we going to do? And I was just like,

908
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 2: what do you mean what we're going to do?

909
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,879
Speaker 5: We don't have a joy is you know, it's time

910
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 5: to figure out what we're gonna do. And so I

911
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 5: told her, I said, I'm gonna tell you something, and

912
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 5: I know it's gonna sound crazy.

913
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 2: This is in November.

914
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 5: I said, when it gets to a point of where

915
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,959
Speaker 5: it's too much like me, know, I'm gonna quit my job.

916
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 5: I don't care if nothing else is lined up because

917
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 5: I trusted him. That's exactly what I told her. And

918
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 5: I said, please, I'm telling you voice that to me.

919
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,800
Speaker 5: When it gets too hard, I'm open voice it to me,

920
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,800
Speaker 5: and I promise you I'm gonna do exactly what I said.

921
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 5: So February fast forward to February comes around. You know,

922
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,960
Speaker 5: you get to Valentine's Day cheers. We did that and

923
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 5: it was tough going back the several ways that last time.

924
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 5: So maybe a couple weeks after that, she finally boy,

925
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 5: she was like, hey, you remember what you told me

926
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 5: back in November. I think it's time I didn't put

927
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 5: into two weeks notice or nothing. I left that exact weekend,

928
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 5: packed everything up, and I came here. And the very

929
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,840
Speaker 5: first thing I did it was on a weekend Sunday,

930
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 5: I got up and I came to Concord. I don't know,

931
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 5: it was just like I was sitting there and I

932
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:43,600
Speaker 5: was just like.

933
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,959
Speaker 2: I'm home. You know what I did? You know about

934
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 2: the church prior? Yeah, So I had a backtrack.

935
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,279
Speaker 5: So twenty nineteen, after after I moved from Arkansas, I

936
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 5: actually came to Dallas. This is the place that I

937
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 5: always wanted to reside. So I came to Dallas trying

938
00:43:58,160 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 5: to try to find my way. The opportunity came in

939
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:01,799
Speaker 5: Gremlind that I could kind of pass up, so I

940
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 5: moved away, and that's how all of that started. But

941
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 5: in twenty nineteen, similatory Kevin's story, I said I was

942
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,719
Speaker 5: gonna date churches, you know, get here, kind of figure

943
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:11,920
Speaker 5: out what I heard. Past the Carter preach twice and

944
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 5: I joined the third Sunday. I didn't even have to

945
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 5: go anywhere else, and so I joined. And then once

946
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 5: I joined, like I said, everything else the rest was history.

947
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,719
Speaker 5: I knew I watched Live when I was in Louisiana,

948
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 5: miss you know, Mississippi. I still watched Live every single Sunday.

949
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 5: And then that's when when I moved back in February,

950
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,800
Speaker 5: I introduced her to Concord and so once she interested

951
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 5: her to come court. Keep in mind she's pregnant still

952
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,439
Speaker 5: throughout this, so you know she's pressing away coming to church.

953
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 5: She didn't really know anything about Concord and never attended,

954
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 5: and so I, you know, kind of told her about

955
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,880
Speaker 5: it or whatever, and we fast forward and now were

956
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 5: in April, and now we're in May, and we studied

957
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 5: going Oh. I joined the worship team in the parts

958
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 5: and the choir in March. So March April May we're steady,

959
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 5: you know, transitioning and going on. And so that's when

960
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 5: boom he starts the Coavitation series. It was like, I

961
00:44:57,719 --> 00:44:59,839
Speaker 5: think n of May like June, because we got made

962
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 5: tim Sut was jun So every Sunday.

963
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:03,759
Speaker 2: Was kind of like a toss up.

964
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 5: You throw the ball up, you don't know she's gonna

965
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 5: feel like, you know, she's pragningant. So it was like Sunday,

966
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 5: are you gonna livestream. I'm going, I'm in the church,

967
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 5: you know, regardless of what it is, and in the

968
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 5: day is that I had to sing, we have to

969
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 5: be a pretty early so she's always you know, live

970
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 5: streaming is two and it was two service at the time.

971
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 5: So that particular Sunday he started the Cohabitation series.

972
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 2: I was here, she was home, and.

973
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 5: I just it was just I was just sitting there

974
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 5: and you know when you get that burning sensation like

975
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 5: I'm like, god, you like stepping on all ten of

976
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:33,840
Speaker 5: my toes, like I'm.

977
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:35,800
Speaker 2: Curling them back, like oh, he caught his on me.

978
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 2: He on my toes.

979
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 5: He talking directly to me, and so I text, I said,

980
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 5: I don't know if you watched the sermon today yet,

981
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 5: but Pastor Carmen, I mean Pastor Carter is talking about

982
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:48,759
Speaker 5: this cohabitation series that I don't I don't ren know

983
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,399
Speaker 5: it about it, you know anything about but I think

984
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 5: it may be a good opportunity.

985
00:45:53,239 --> 00:46:01,799
Speaker 2: Her absolutely not. I don't know, all right, So you

986
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:03,359
Speaker 2: said absolutely not? Why did?

987
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 11: I don't think It was a hard note for me,

988
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 11: but it was a why listen And even towards.

989
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 6: The end, I still was unsure if I'm just being honest,

990
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 6: like I hadn't really made my decision.

991
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 11: It was probably the end of August where.

992
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 2: I was like the microphone clothes under everybody hit.

993
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 11: It, where I was like, Okay, we're gonna do this.

994
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 6: After going through the whole ninety day challenge and just

995
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 6: praying and fasting. I literally remember coming up to the

996
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:34,839
Speaker 6: church again. Nobody and my family knew that we were

997
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 6: going through this challenge. None of my friends knew because

998
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 6: it was something that I felt like was personal to us,

999
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 6: in between us and God. So I didn't even know

1000
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 6: that we would be here. Like I remember coming and

1001
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:53,720
Speaker 6: I think that's when they were showing the dresses, and

1002
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 6: I think that's when I heard God like speak to

1003
00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 6: me and was like, you know you're doing this, like

1004
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 6: it's time. And I remember texting my mom in that

1005
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 6: room and telling her like me and Evan are gonna

1006
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 6: get married. Mind you, this is like a couple of weeks.

1007
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 2: This is the first time you told.

1008
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:14,440
Speaker 11: Them yes, yes, yes.

1009
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 6: So I was unsure literally the whole time during the challenge.

1010
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 6: I was going showing up to the sessions and I'm like,

1011
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 6: I don't know.

1012
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:23,240
Speaker 11: I still don't.

1013
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 2: Know, but so what was bringing your apprehension, I think what.

1014
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 11: Was bringing my apprehension.

1015
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 6: Of course, like me and him had been together for

1016
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 6: like a year and a half, so I also felt

1017
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 6: like we were still kind of getting to know one another,

1018
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 6: we were still growing in our relationship, we still had

1019
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 6: things that we needed to work on individually, and so

1020
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 6: I feel like that was a lot of my apprehension.

1021
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,000
Speaker 6: But I saw how serious he was about it. I

1022
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:58,400
Speaker 6: literally saw the changes that God was doing through him,

1023
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 6: and that's really what made me come to that decision.

1024
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:04,400
Speaker 2: So days I'm gonna put a bookmark right here. Now,

1025
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 2: listen to this passing. She said, I don't think we

1026
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,399
Speaker 2: knew each other enough, but they knew each other enough

1027
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:13,719
Speaker 2: to have a whole kids. And I'm gonna say it.

1028
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, that's what you think of Stephanie. I'm

1029
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,799
Speaker 2: gonna say what you was thinking. But that's what people do.

1030
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 2: They say, I don't think we know each other well

1031
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 2: enough to get married, but we can live together, we

1032
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 2: can have kids together, we can share bank accounts together.

1033
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 2: What do you think that is?

1034
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: I think it's just a fear of commitment at times, right,

1035
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: we just sometimes we have our own wounds.

1036
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:33,320
Speaker 2: We've been hurt.

1037
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: Right, We got our own baggage, and so sometimes we

1038
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 1: come in saying, I mean I but I don't know

1039
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:39,800
Speaker 1: how far I'm gonna go?

1040
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 2: Can I really trust you? Right?

1041
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 1: It's these trust issues and this fear of can I

1042
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 1: really trust you? Are you gonna really accept me? Are

1043
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,560
Speaker 1: you gonna love? Are you be committed to me? All

1044
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 1: of these things are in your head, and so you

1045
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,120
Speaker 1: just keep waiting. You keep putting it off, you keep

1046
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,839
Speaker 1: putting on. So you have to ask a question, at

1047
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 1: what point is it gonna be enough for us to

1048
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,919
Speaker 1: say we know each other, we know enough about each other,

1049
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,760
Speaker 1: we trust who you are, and we're gonna take this step.

1050
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: I think marriage is a risk period. It's always a risk.

1051
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 1: There's never a sure thing. You never know what's going

1052
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: to happen on the other side. Their health, all kinds

1053
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,800
Speaker 1: of challenges. But it's a faith journey. It's us spit

1054
00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:16,799
Speaker 1: doing the work together, learning each other, working on our relationship.

1055
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 2: But at some point we got to say, you know

1056
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 2: what I love you for? Who you are?

1057
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 1: You love me for whore I am. We've learned this together,

1058
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 1: We've got the skills. Let's take a step of faith together.

1059
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,040
Speaker 1: But it's not easy. I mean, particularly at their age.

1060
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 1: I mean, you're young. People keep the laying marriage more

1061
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:35,279
Speaker 1: and more because they're continually trying to rattle through these

1062
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,600
Speaker 1: trust issues as opposed to working through them.

1063
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 2: Well, Stephanie, I want you to speak to that. What

1064
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 2: do you think that is? Your sisters? Your sister right

1065
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 2: here just said I don't think I know them that? Well,

1066
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 2: what do you think that is? I know you mentor

1067
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 2: a lot of women.

1068
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 10: I think sometimes it might be past hurts because you know,

1069
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:56,919
Speaker 10: growing up, I grew up and God bless my dad,

1070
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,839
Speaker 10: it just wasn't he just wasn't a great husband. And

1071
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:02,960
Speaker 10: so I saw that. So there was kind of like

1072
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 10: a hardness on me and any boy who interacted with me.

1073
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:10,840
Speaker 10: God bless you, you're so patient. But there was just

1074
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,439
Speaker 10: a wall. I had a serious wall. And so it's

1075
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:16,719
Speaker 10: already kind of like a distrust. And so for me

1076
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 10: like to cemit, I can't even go, let me, don't

1077
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 10: do submit yet, but just to let Brian in.

1078
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,680
Speaker 15: It just started with trust. So it'd be little things.

1079
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 10: So when he would say he would call and he called,

1080
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 10: or if he said, hey we're going to we're going

1081
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,400
Speaker 10: out or whatever, and we actually did that. It was

1082
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 10: those little things that kind of tore down that wall.

1083
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:43,480
Speaker 10: But it's a process because you just you carry that

1084
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 10: baggage and you kind of are like, I don't know,

1085
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 10: I'll give you this much, so maybe I'll live with

1086
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,680
Speaker 10: you for a season or maybe I'll do this. But

1087
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 10: really God is saying, girl, you're more than that, and

1088
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 10: I've sent you somebody that loves you, and he show

1089
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,360
Speaker 10: owing you that he loves you. So I need you

1090
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:04,640
Speaker 10: to I need you to kind of let go of

1091
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:06,919
Speaker 10: that past to be fair.

1092
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,399
Speaker 1: I mean, you are sitting in church and you get

1093
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:12,920
Speaker 1: this challenge and in that very day, so the service happens,

1094
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be in the meeting at two o'clock

1095
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 1: right after surface already.

1096
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 2: That's yeah, you call it.

1097
00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:22,399
Speaker 1: You ain't got no time to talk to say, we're

1098
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,279
Speaker 1: gonna meet you at two o'clock and let's get this

1099
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 1: program started together. So I can understand a little bit

1100
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 1: of the you know, you need a little time.

1101
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 2: To pass a car and you say meet there at

1102
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:32,440
Speaker 2: two o'clock. They're like, I was going to watch a

1103
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 2: cowboy game and now you got me.

1104
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 10: And the funny thing is it's funny when he does

1105
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 10: the challenge. You see people in the audience, they'd be like,

1106
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 10: are you see him? Like after church, and you'll see

1107
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 10: them like talking to each other in the parking, like.

1108
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 15: It goes down.

1109
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 2: One lady watched it at eight and then brought her

1110
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 2: husband at eleven. Didn't tell him boyfriend, you do set

1111
00:51:58,719 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 2: the brother out.

1112
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,919
Speaker 10: And so they sitting there like because because we after

1113
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:07,480
Speaker 10: after service, after service, we greet in the four year

1114
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:09,400
Speaker 10: so they'll you know, to be like, oh, this is

1115
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 10: mine and they'd be looking like like, we'll see you

1116
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 10: at too.

1117
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 7: Know.

1118
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 10: The girl will be like we'll see you at two,

1119
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:21,360
Speaker 10: and he'll be like, oh yeah.

1120
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 12: And see for us, we didn't even much know about

1121
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 12: the challenge because we I think the series was called

1122
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 12: the Flavor of Love. That's the series called. So we're

1123
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 12: going with the flavor of the Flavor of Love. And

1124
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 12: when so he had to you know, we came to

1125
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,799
Speaker 12: church that Sunday, we got a good message, and then

1126
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 12: the next Sunday we went back to fresh Or West

1127
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 12: and then I get a phone call like hey, you ready.

1128
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:41,839
Speaker 16: To make this move.

1129
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,560
Speaker 12: I'm like what he had passed the issue? You know what,

1130
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 12: just come to church too. I'm like okay, cool, So

1131
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:50,959
Speaker 12: I told her we came and then again not knowing

1132
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 12: what was going to happen, it was like, okay, standing up,

1133
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 12: raised your hand high, and I'm doing all this and

1134
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 12: not knowing what's going on. I'm like, set me up

1135
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 12: for aout knowing and then we just went through it

1136
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 12: and like, okay, we got bullied into it.

1137
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 1: But I guess that is what God want to know.

1138
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 2: Is what I want? She say sixteen years later, and

1139
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 2: now I realized that you just said I got bullied

1140
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 2: in this, So let's let's go back to you. So

1141
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,440
Speaker 2: what did your mama say when you called your mama

1142
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,839
Speaker 2: after looking at the dress and say, hey, in two

1143
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 2: weeks I'm about to get married.

1144
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 6: It did not go well, I know it. She was

1145
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:38,799
Speaker 6: very upset, she was hurt. Yeah, and she of course

1146
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 6: didn't try to talk me out of it. But I

1147
00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,239
Speaker 6: just wanted to make sure that it was something that

1148
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,359
Speaker 6: I really wanted. This is what we really wanted to do.

1149
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 6: Of course, if it was her way, it would have

1150
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 6: been different. But again, I feel like it was about us,

1151
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 6: and so.

1152
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 2: So Danja, one of the vows is forsaken all others.

1153
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:02,440
Speaker 2: Why was it so important to forsake all others and

1154
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 2: go forward with this rather than submit to what your

1155
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 2: mom was saying.

1156
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,279
Speaker 6: Like I said, in that moment, God he spoke to me,

1157
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,879
Speaker 6: and he was he was very clear. Like I said,

1158
00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 6: I was pregnant, we had a baby on the way.

1159
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:23,040
Speaker 6: We had been cohabitating at that point since February, and

1160
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 6: he was, he was crystal clear, And so I knew

1161
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:29,799
Speaker 6: it was something that I needed to do. Again, I

1162
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 6: was extremely nervous about it. Again, I don't know what

1163
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,799
Speaker 6: was you nervous about. It's a huge commitment. It's a

1164
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:43,200
Speaker 6: huge lifetime commitment. And I'm one I don't know. I

1165
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 6: don't Once I get married, that's it for me. Like

1166
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,319
Speaker 6: I don't really believe in divorce. I just said, I

1167
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 6: don't really believe in divorce. So I knew that this

1168
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,480
Speaker 6: was something if we were going to do it, we

1169
00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:54,760
Speaker 6: were in it for a lifetime.

1170
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 11: We were gonna have to work at it.

1171
00:54:57,800 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 6: And so I think that's where my nervousness kind of

1172
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:03,800
Speaker 6: I came from, kind of stem from. I knew how

1173
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:06,239
Speaker 6: big of a commitment this really was.

1174
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:11,800
Speaker 2: But that's good. I'm glad that you decided to harken

1175
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,319
Speaker 2: to the voice of God. Because you said, hey, God

1176
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 2: told me do this. How did you feel let me

1177
00:55:16,680 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 2: just turn here because then I'm gonna get off y'all

1178
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:19,600
Speaker 2: a little bit. But I want to ask you, how

1179
00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 2: did you feel knowing her apprehension towards marrying Did you

1180
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 2: internalize it as feeling unsure about marrying you or just

1181
00:55:27,800 --> 00:55:29,760
Speaker 2: being nervous about getting married period?

1182
00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 5: So honestly, she never came directly to me and said

1183
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 5: like I'm having second thoughts or anything like that. Pastor

1184
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 5: talked about, you know, he makes announcement meet me in

1185
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 5: the multi purpose I got the luxury of being here

1186
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 5: by myself.

1187
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 2: So I was going to that multipurpose room regardless. You know.

1188
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 2: So even when she sent.

1189
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,719
Speaker 5: The text like absolutely no, I'm not doing that, I

1190
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 5: still went in there. I went in the car and

1191
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 5: I sat for a second, and I'm just like, I

1192
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 5: can't leave.

1193
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 2: I'm not leaving. I'm going back in there. And so

1194
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:57,439
Speaker 2: I went back in there.

1195
00:55:57,800 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 5: And then that next Sunday, he preached about it to

1196
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 5: get he preached a serious So he preached again and

1197
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:04,280
Speaker 5: she was able to come that Sunday.

1198
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 2: I never mentioned anything about it.

1199
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 5: I waited kind of like, you know, you got a

1200
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 5: deadline to kind of like register.

1201
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,640
Speaker 2: Whatever, don't let me go back. You went to the

1202
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:13,439
Speaker 2: orientation by yourself the first time.

1203
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 5: I absolutely did, Yes, sir, I went by myself. I

1204
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:21,319
Speaker 5: went directly. But that's leadership. Yeah, that's leadership. Yeah, that's leadership. Yeah,

1205
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:23,040
Speaker 5: I went by myself. So she came like I said that.

1206
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 5: Following Sunday after service, I never got in the car,

1207
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 5: you know.

1208
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 2: So, hey, what we're gonna do? You know, are we

1209
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 2: going to check the box? Yes or no?

1210
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 5: You know, so I just I let it be what

1211
00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 5: it was, and I said, I'm just gonna wait until

1212
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,799
Speaker 5: the deadline, you know, close to the deadline, give her time.

1213
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:37,800
Speaker 5: And so I told her, you know, I voiced it

1214
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 5: kind of towards the end.

1215
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 2: I was just like, hey, I think it's time for

1216
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:41,520
Speaker 2: us to take that next step.

1217
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 5: And she was just like That's when she finally was

1218
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 5: just like, Okay, let's do it. I'll do it, but no,

1219
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 5: I'm not participating in anything outside of the council. She

1220
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 5: wanted the wedding with the bells and the whistles and

1221
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 5: you know how that goes. But as we that counselor

1222
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:58,360
Speaker 5: is literally so intense, like even some of the small

1223
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 5: groups that we were in, some of them really didn't

1224
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 5: make it and they found out that they weren't compatible.

1225
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:03,080
Speaker 2: Like Pasta talked about, you.

1226
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:05,319
Speaker 5: Find out so much about a partner that that's not

1227
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 5: your partner, that's your friend and you should keep them

1228
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,759
Speaker 5: as a friend. And so, you know, as we matriculated

1229
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 5: on the thirteen weeks, she really found she really looked

1230
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 5: into the bigger picture was you and I, you know,

1231
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 5: being together. It's not about the bells and the whistles

1232
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 5: in the winding. And so once we got to the end,

1233
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 5: that's when she was just like, you know, I don't

1234
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 5: know what the production is going to be like, but I.

1235
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 2: Want to participate it and I'm willing to do it.

1236
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:31,360
Speaker 5: And after this, we don't have to have a wedding,

1237
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 5: and so, you know, your mindset changes after you go.

1238
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:37,520
Speaker 5: And then I think she learned more about me and

1239
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 5: found out that, you know, like she said, the changes

1240
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 5: because I changed tremendously. I had, like I said, a

1241
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:44,200
Speaker 5: lot of girl to do. And I'm okay with admitting that,

1242
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 5: you know, but with our guy, I wouldn't be here.

1243
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:49,560
Speaker 5: And I'm just, you know, very grateful to be beside

1244
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 5: her today.

1245
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 2: How long y'all been married? We've been made three years.

1246
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 2: We just celebrated our three congratulations, three years given up

1247
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 2: for them.

1248
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 15: Yeah, I got a quick question. Were you pregnant when

1249
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:00,640
Speaker 15: you had the wedding?

1250
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 6: We had him literally one month before he was born

1251
00:58:04,360 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 6: Arcust fourth, and we got married September tenth.

1252
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 15: Okay, cause you looked amazing.

1253
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 11: Thank you?

1254
00:58:09,920 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 15: I remember you, Because yes I remember y'all.

1255
00:58:13,200 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 2: Something was different. So Damon Gillery and Hillary Hobson, y'all

1256
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 2: getting married this Saturday. Hearing these stories, what are y'all thinking? Well,

1257
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 2: how do you feel just hearing these testimons?

1258
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 8: I really think, I mean, this whole process with us

1259
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:37,040
Speaker 8: has been a confirmation after confirmation after confirmation, listening, listening

1260
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:41,080
Speaker 8: to everybody's story, Like every time somebody said something, sitting

1261
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 8: right here, we're looking at each other like, dang, that's

1262
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 8: our story, Dange, that's our story. Where we went to

1263
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 8: rival high schools. We knew we did something wrong, but

1264
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:53,520
Speaker 8: we did it anyway. We like there was trials and

1265
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 8: we were long distance at a point like everything that

1266
00:58:57,280 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 8: somebody has said, we've kind of lived and experienced it.

1267
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 8: And so I think for us, even getting into this

1268
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:13,919
Speaker 8: process we were like everybody else. We we shopped churches too.

1269
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:17,120
Speaker 8: We were going to we were actually going back and

1270
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 8: forth between Concord and Embassy, and we were at Embassy and.

1271
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 9: They had ah.

1272
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 8: The pastor preached about taking communion and what that meant,

1273
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 8: and literally, and like I said, we knew us living

1274
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:41,439
Speaker 8: together was wrong.

1275
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 2: We had at that time.

1276
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 8: At that point, it was probably about nine months. So

1277
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,600
Speaker 8: officially we have been living At the end of this,

1278
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 8: we had been living together for a year, but at

1279
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 8: that point it was about nine months. And when it

1280
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,240
Speaker 8: came down to it, we it. It was a we

1281
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:02,560
Speaker 8: trusted ourselves in this moment instead of trusting God.

1282
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:08,439
Speaker 9: We both grew up in the church, and so when

1283
01:00:08,640 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 9: he preached.

1284
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 8: About communion and what that meant and being and taking communion,

1285
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 8: rejoining the body of Christ, he literally looked at me

1286
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 8: in that service and said, Hey, I don't know how

1287
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 8: we're gonna do it, but we need to separate.

1288
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:23,440
Speaker 15: So then it was.

1289
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:25,919
Speaker 8: Concord's church week, because like I said, we were going

1290
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 8: one week and see one week Concord.

1291
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:30,920
Speaker 2: He said, y'all need to separate.

1292
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 8: Separate like living situations, and not separate separate.

1293
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 2: I put communion. It just.

1294
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:43,520
Speaker 11: Uh.

1295
01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:46,880
Speaker 8: And so we literally after church the day we talked

1296
01:00:46,880 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 8: about it and we were like, okay, what we don't

1297
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:52,680
Speaker 8: know how it's gonna happen, but we we're gonna get

1298
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 8: the ball rolling. So then that next Sunday, we weren't

1299
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:03,440
Speaker 8: at Concord, we were watching it uh online and Pastor

1300
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:06,960
Speaker 8: Carter introduces the cohabitation Challenge.

1301
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:11,160
Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. When I tell you, I'm

1302
01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:15,720
Speaker 2: telling you our story. So you said you was at

1303
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 2: one church. That's why. I mean, God is just bigger

1304
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:20,400
Speaker 2: than the than the church. He can speak to you

1305
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:23,160
Speaker 2: in one moment, connect you divilely to the other moment.

1306
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 2: But go ahead, go ahead and tell your story.

1307
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 8: And so he does. He talks about the cohabitation challenge,

1308
01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:34,560
Speaker 8: and at that point he just introduced the like, hey

1309
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 8: we'll pay they'll pay your rent part.

1310
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 9: And I was like, look there you go.

1311
01:01:37,880 --> 01:01:42,560
Speaker 13: You can move it up. Your time is up.

1312
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,520
Speaker 9: The Lord has confirmed, look at God.

1313
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:52,680
Speaker 8: And so then that next week that's when uh, he

1314
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 8: re announced the cohabitation challenge. But then he threw a

1315
01:01:55,560 --> 01:01:59,320
Speaker 8: little twist in there and said, oh hey, we're actually

1316
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:03,520
Speaker 8: going to do the ninety day UH at the Grand

1317
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:07,920
Speaker 8: Wedding addition to it, and we had already signed up

1318
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 8: for Uh, we had been looking to sign up for

1319
01:02:11,200 --> 01:02:14,439
Speaker 8: CSI because one of the ladies that I work with,

1320
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 8: she's Angela. She gives she's like, she gives your ant

1321
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 8: viv viv vibes.

1322
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 15: She when she.

1323
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 8: Found out that we were cohabitating, she was like, no man,

1324
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:32,600
Speaker 8: and so she was she told us about CSI. So literally,

1325
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 8: up until that embassy Sunday on the website, it was

1326
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,560
Speaker 8: it said, oh, it's coming registered. So I mean every

1327
01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 8: week every week we were refreshing, going to the couple

1328
01:02:45,840 --> 01:02:48,920
Speaker 8: side on the website, refreshing it is it open yet?

1329
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 8: And so uh, literally she texted it to us. Uh,

1330
01:02:55,320 --> 01:02:58,560
Speaker 8: she texted the screenshot of it on the screen and

1331
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 8: was like, it's open. Y'all need to do this. Literally

1332
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 8: while we're talking to each other saying hey, we're gonna

1333
01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 8: we're gonna do this.

1334
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,960
Speaker 9: And so that was that. I mean, it was literally

1335
01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:12,560
Speaker 9: step by step by step.

1336
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 2: Damon, what made you turn to her and say we

1337
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:20,960
Speaker 2: need to separate, move out? Which would have been a

1338
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 2: better word, is we need to move out? Uh? God

1339
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,320
Speaker 2: was real loud in that moment. You know.

1340
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:30,919
Speaker 7: It was something that had been pulling in my heart

1341
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:34,600
Speaker 7: of wanting to I knew that I wanted to marry her,

1342
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:37,800
Speaker 7: but I knew that with how both of us were raised,

1343
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:40,080
Speaker 7: with how both of us operate, we wanted to do

1344
01:03:40,120 --> 01:03:44,360
Speaker 7: it the right way because I've been married before when

1345
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:49,360
Speaker 7: I was I got married in college. Divorced for about

1346
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 7: four or five years now, But I knew that I

1347
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:54,720
Speaker 7: wanted to marry her, but I knew I wanted it

1348
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:56,040
Speaker 7: to last. I knew I wanted to do it the

1349
01:03:56,080 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 7: right way. And part of that was us not living

1350
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:06,840
Speaker 7: together and us operating righteously with God, putting him at

1351
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:08,920
Speaker 7: the center of our relationship with something that we hadn't

1352
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 7: really done. We were kind of, like she said earlier,

1353
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,760
Speaker 7: we were trusting ourselves instead of God a lot of

1354
01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 7: the moments. So in that moment when he was talking

1355
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:19,440
Speaker 7: about communion and we were listening to and he was

1356
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:21,680
Speaker 7: talking about what it actually meant to do it, it

1357
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 7: was just a tug in my heart to take that

1358
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 7: step to do something the right way.

1359
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 2: Who now, when y'all get married, Hillary, what's your name

1360
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:31,880
Speaker 2: gonna be?

1361
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 9: My new name.

1362
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 15: Will be Hillary Ghillory. Doc the mouse went up the clock,

1363
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 15: Hillary Gillery.

1364
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:52,560
Speaker 9: You know another confirmation in its name.

1365
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 2: You know, I guess, So how do your parents? How

1366
01:04:58,040 --> 01:04:59,880
Speaker 2: does your family feel about this?

1367
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:02,840
Speaker 10: I just.

1368
01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:09,920
Speaker 7: I just got her dad's blessing this week. I'll just

1369
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:11,560
Speaker 7: say that you just got and I asked for it

1370
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:14,400
Speaker 7: six months ago. So what did he say this week?

1371
01:05:15,920 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 7: So it's been a long process with him. Uh, he's

1372
01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:22,760
Speaker 7: very old school and how he.

1373
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:26,840
Speaker 8: Victorian Puritans is what I call them. Yes, I was

1374
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:28,640
Speaker 8: raised by Victorian Puritans.

1375
01:05:30,320 --> 01:05:31,919
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look that up and see what that means.

1376
01:05:33,240 --> 01:05:38,480
Speaker 7: But you know, he was already angry at us for

1377
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 7: living together, and you know, so for him, it was

1378
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 7: he wanted us to rectify that situation before he could

1379
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:51,360
Speaker 7: give his blessing or he even talked about us getting married.

1380
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:55,560
Speaker 7: And you know, they already have a history with their relationship.

1381
01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:58,960
Speaker 7: And I've known him for years just from being around her,

1382
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 7: from around her, and you know, the dating. So we

1383
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 7: had somewhat of a semblance of a relationship. We've had

1384
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:17,960
Speaker 7: some conversations, but it was never actually anything fruitful of

1385
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:21,800
Speaker 7: those conversations. So throughout this process, you know, we have

1386
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:24,240
Speaker 7: been talking back and forth, a.

1387
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:25,680
Speaker 2: Few arguments in there.

1388
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:31,240
Speaker 7: But last week on Thursday, her niece had a volleyball

1389
01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:34,920
Speaker 7: game in Baytown, which is where we're from, right outside

1390
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:39,320
Speaker 7: of Houston, and the night before we had a conversation

1391
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:42,920
Speaker 7: with her dad, and you know, it was she had sorry,

1392
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 7: she had a conversation with her dad and her uncle

1393
01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:47,000
Speaker 7: and they were able to have some things out.

1394
01:06:47,400 --> 01:06:49,240
Speaker 2: And when she got off the.

1395
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:52,000
Speaker 7: Phone, I was like, Hey, we need to go down there.

1396
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:54,400
Speaker 7: We need to go down there.

1397
01:06:54,520 --> 01:07:00,960
Speaker 8: And so a part of it was a part of

1398
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 8: it was my dad. My like I said, I I

1399
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:11,120
Speaker 8: jokingly say, I was raised by Victorian Puritans, but for him,

1400
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 8: he was he was He's a p K kid, and

1401
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:19,080
Speaker 8: so we were always taught there are no gray areas.

1402
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:22,680
Speaker 8: And because we moved in together, we were living in

1403
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:29,600
Speaker 8: that gray area. Yes quite yes, we were living in

1404
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:36,320
Speaker 8: the sin And uh, my dad, he's old, he's very

1405
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:44,479
Speaker 8: old school. And for because we had dishonored that for him,

1406
01:07:44,600 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 8: it was we needed to come come to him in

1407
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:57,480
Speaker 8: a sense of I we we scept we moved out

1408
01:07:57,760 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 8: and and apologized. Then we you know, ask God for forgiveness.

1409
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:09,560
Speaker 8: But like he said, they didn't have a relationship, and

1410
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:13,000
Speaker 8: so he didn't get to see the damon that I knew.

1411
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:17,479
Speaker 8: And for him, it was always, hey, there is a

1412
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:21,439
Speaker 8: blessing that come that a father when he gives his

1413
01:08:21,520 --> 01:08:28,120
Speaker 8: daughter away, like it means something. And I had a

1414
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:32,800
Speaker 8: little apprehension as well, because not over any of the

1415
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 8: superficial stuff, but we were always taught about a covering,

1416
01:08:36,920 --> 01:08:40,120
Speaker 8: and I had a moment where I was like, what

1417
01:08:40,240 --> 01:08:42,800
Speaker 8: if I got this far over my daddy's covering, is

1418
01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:44,559
Speaker 8: he gonna be able to cover me like him?

1419
01:08:45,520 --> 01:08:48,000
Speaker 2: That's real? And so.

1420
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:54,479
Speaker 8: Because how important it was to him and how the

1421
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 8: biblical ramification uh benefits and ramifications for giving that consent,

1422
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:02,000
Speaker 8: he needed us to come down and we were pick

1423
01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 8: at it. We were like, no, you had all of

1424
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:06,240
Speaker 8: this time to get to know him. You need to

1425
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:08,920
Speaker 8: be the one you're you're retired, you need to come

1426
01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:12,160
Speaker 8: to us like it's I have to take off, we

1427
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,840
Speaker 8: have to take off work to go down there.

1428
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 11: And da dah da da da da da da.

1429
01:09:15,960 --> 01:09:20,519
Speaker 8: And that conversation that me uh me and my dad

1430
01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:25,679
Speaker 8: started having a conversation, and it was starting to get

1431
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:28,080
Speaker 8: where we weren't even listening to each other. So I

1432
01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:30,479
Speaker 8: was like, you know what, let me call uncle Matt

1433
01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:35,080
Speaker 8: and that's his brother, and we were able to have

1434
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:39,519
Speaker 8: a conversation where there was a mediator of sorts in

1435
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:44,639
Speaker 8: it that had no had no weight in the game

1436
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:48,160
Speaker 8: in it, oh, of sorts. And so after that conversation

1437
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 8: we talked and was like, okay, you know, let's just

1438
01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:06,360
Speaker 8: submit in this moment because a part another part of

1439
01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:10,479
Speaker 8: what our journey has been is I've never been afraid

1440
01:10:10,640 --> 01:10:14,960
Speaker 8: of submission. Always my thing was always are you going

1441
01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:21,120
Speaker 8: to be somebody I can submit too? And in that moment,

1442
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:23,679
Speaker 8: God told me, you're asking this man to be somebody

1443
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:33,040
Speaker 8: submittable too, But submit to your father, submit to the

1444
01:10:33,560 --> 01:10:36,960
Speaker 8: guy that has raised you your covering. Like we ain't

1445
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:41,720
Speaker 8: married yet, so that umbrella hasn't switched over. Yeah, And

1446
01:10:41,800 --> 01:10:45,760
Speaker 8: so in that moment, we had to get rid of

1447
01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:49,479
Speaker 8: our pride, and I took off. I used one of

1448
01:10:49,520 --> 01:10:54,759
Speaker 8: them good old state days and we made the trip.

1449
01:10:55,320 --> 01:10:57,559
Speaker 2: And let me ask you, is what did it mean

1450
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:01,599
Speaker 2: to you? We look at threesome. You're submitting to the father,

1451
01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:04,800
Speaker 2: then submitting to the father, your biological father, and then

1452
01:11:04,840 --> 01:11:08,240
Speaker 2: you're submitting one to another when y'all get married. How

1453
01:11:08,280 --> 01:11:10,839
Speaker 2: important was it to get your father's blessing?

1454
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,360
Speaker 9: It was very important, and.

1455
01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 8: I truly thank God for him because it had gotten

1456
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:25,800
Speaker 8: to a point where I was like, I don't care

1457
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:29,920
Speaker 8: if he doesn't come, I will I I got I

1458
01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:32,280
Speaker 8: got an uncle's, I got a brother. They'll walk me

1459
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:34,639
Speaker 8: down like it had it had gotten to that point.

1460
01:11:35,280 --> 01:11:39,800
Speaker 8: And throughout it all he was all he always said,

1461
01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:45,960
Speaker 8: he didn't understand us having those us me and my

1462
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:49,400
Speaker 8: dad having those conversations that got nowhere. But what he

1463
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:53,599
Speaker 8: did always say is, hey, this is I know you're

1464
01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:56,600
Speaker 8: saying that right now, but this is important to you.

1465
01:11:56,600 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 8: You're gonna get to that day. And you right now

1466
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:02,519
Speaker 8: you're upset. Right now, you're mad. So it doesn't you

1467
01:12:02,560 --> 01:12:05,759
Speaker 8: don't you don't feel the hurt yet, you're just feeling

1468
01:12:05,800 --> 01:12:11,200
Speaker 8: your anger. And so when he said, hey, I told

1469
01:12:11,200 --> 01:12:13,519
Speaker 8: when I told him about the conversation and he said, hey,

1470
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:18,559
Speaker 8: let's go down, we went down. Because at the end

1471
01:12:18,600 --> 01:12:23,960
Speaker 8: of the day, I mean, they may not have the

1472
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:31,759
Speaker 8: best best relationship, but that's my father and he has

1473
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:37,479
Speaker 8: a he has a daughter. And it not only like

1474
01:12:37,520 --> 01:12:41,599
Speaker 8: we're learning from all of there's we're downloading so much

1475
01:12:41,640 --> 01:12:45,680
Speaker 8: information and so many things, and it's like, hey, at

1476
01:12:45,720 --> 01:12:48,519
Speaker 8: the end of the day, what if what if? Hayden

1477
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:53,400
Speaker 8: was it was Hillary how would you want her to

1478
01:12:55,479 --> 01:12:56,200
Speaker 8: rectify that?

1479
01:12:57,360 --> 01:13:00,240
Speaker 2: I mean, I just, uh, what does her father's say

1480
01:13:00,320 --> 01:13:03,439
Speaker 2: that gave you the blessing to Mary's daughter?

1481
01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:08,719
Speaker 7: It was actually we were sitting at the dinner table

1482
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:14,960
Speaker 7: having a three way conversation and they started their back

1483
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:17,320
Speaker 7: and forth and not listening to each other at the table,

1484
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:21,960
Speaker 7: and I stopped them both and I was like, so

1485
01:13:22,040 --> 01:13:25,160
Speaker 7: what they were doing was rehashing the past. And that

1486
01:13:25,360 --> 01:13:28,240
Speaker 7: was literally the president of the conversation say hey, we're

1487
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:29,960
Speaker 7: not going to talk about anything from the past. We're

1488
01:13:29,960 --> 01:13:33,280
Speaker 7: going to talk about moving forward. And somehow, some way,

1489
01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:35,719
Speaker 7: they still got to the past. And I was like, hey,

1490
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:38,680
Speaker 7: like this is this. We've been sitting here for an

1491
01:13:38,680 --> 01:13:41,519
Speaker 7: hour and a half, two hours, and we've accomplished nothing.

1492
01:13:42,439 --> 01:13:46,680
Speaker 7: And so at this moment, like what are we going

1493
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:48,479
Speaker 7: to do from here? Where are we going to go

1494
01:13:48,520 --> 01:13:51,920
Speaker 7: from here? And he was like, well, why didn't you

1495
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:55,000
Speaker 7: say something earlier? I was like, I was waiting on

1496
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:57,600
Speaker 7: the right moment when God told me to step in

1497
01:13:57,640 --> 01:13:58,360
Speaker 7: this conversation.

1498
01:13:58,479 --> 01:13:58,800
Speaker 2: I did.

1499
01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:01,320
Speaker 7: I was like, I was sitting there, I was praying,

1500
01:14:01,720 --> 01:14:05,720
Speaker 7: I was reading her body language, seeing how checking her

1501
01:14:05,760 --> 01:14:09,120
Speaker 7: temperature because I can At this point I can look

1502
01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:11,880
Speaker 7: at her and know where she's at. And she was

1503
01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:14,800
Speaker 7: getting to that point where she was about to take

1504
01:14:14,840 --> 01:14:20,840
Speaker 7: it to another level. She said, lift the tables in

1505
01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:27,120
Speaker 7: the temple. And it was in that moment I told him.

1506
01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:31,640
Speaker 7: I was like, I've been sitting here praying and I

1507
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:34,080
Speaker 7: didn't have anything to say until now. And he was like,

1508
01:14:36,320 --> 01:14:38,840
Speaker 7: you know, I was praying to my brothers and I

1509
01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:41,479
Speaker 7: was talking to my brothers, and I was telling him

1510
01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:43,400
Speaker 7: that I was waiting on you to show leadership and

1511
01:14:43,439 --> 01:14:45,800
Speaker 7: show that you can leave my daughter. And you don't

1512
01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:47,320
Speaker 7: even know what she just did in that moment, but

1513
01:14:47,360 --> 01:14:48,960
Speaker 7: that was it right there. That's what I was looking for.

1514
01:14:49,120 --> 01:14:50,679
Speaker 2: So that's what I was saying right there in that moment.

1515
01:14:50,800 --> 01:14:52,639
Speaker 2: I was waiting for him to say that the very

1516
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:56,120
Speaker 2: covering that you wanting to know. You said, my daddy

1517
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:58,760
Speaker 2: has covered me up to this point. I'm not sure

1518
01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:02,599
Speaker 2: if he could cover me from this point on. God

1519
01:15:02,720 --> 01:15:06,439
Speaker 2: is so intentional, God is so divine, God is so

1520
01:15:06,760 --> 01:15:11,160
Speaker 2: I'm not present. He's omnipotent, and he needed that moment

1521
01:15:11,240 --> 01:15:14,640
Speaker 2: to take place. So you can see your husband not

1522
01:15:14,840 --> 01:15:18,479
Speaker 2: stand up to your father, but cover you. And men,

1523
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:21,640
Speaker 2: we understand real men see the act of giving your

1524
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:25,720
Speaker 2: daughter away. That is a powerful thing to do. I

1525
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:27,599
Speaker 2: had to do it three years ago when I gave

1526
01:15:27,720 --> 01:15:31,439
Speaker 2: my daughter to her husband, and I knew I made

1527
01:15:31,479 --> 01:15:34,439
Speaker 2: a good choice because even through health things that my

1528
01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:38,599
Speaker 2: daughter went through, he was covering her. Even when they

1529
01:15:38,680 --> 01:15:43,360
Speaker 2: brought my granddaughter into this world last month. I'm a grandfather.

1530
01:15:43,439 --> 01:15:47,760
Speaker 2: I'm a grandfather. Yes, I'm a Papaula. I told I'm

1531
01:15:47,760 --> 01:15:50,240
Speaker 2: gonna tell my little granddaughter, say GP, are you with men?

1532
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:54,439
Speaker 2: I say, call me GP. So he was covering her

1533
01:15:54,479 --> 01:15:58,800
Speaker 2: in the hospital when my granddaughter, Claire was born a

1534
01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:01,400
Speaker 2: month early. But I knew that I made a great

1535
01:16:01,439 --> 01:16:05,160
Speaker 2: decision when I gave her away to him, and he

1536
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:08,000
Speaker 2: needed to stand up exactly like he did in order

1537
01:16:08,040 --> 01:16:10,719
Speaker 2: for your father to say, now you have my blessing,

1538
01:16:11,240 --> 01:16:13,800
Speaker 2: because it's so unfortunate that there's just a lot of

1539
01:16:13,920 --> 01:16:17,800
Speaker 2: weak men leading women nowadays, and so it's powerful to

1540
01:16:17,920 --> 01:16:20,320
Speaker 2: know that he had to go through that. And the

1541
01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:23,160
Speaker 2: father was like, why don't you speak up early? But

1542
01:16:23,280 --> 01:16:25,559
Speaker 2: he was submitted to his heavenly father to wait for

1543
01:16:25,600 --> 01:16:30,000
Speaker 2: the opportune time to speak into that situation. So salute you, king,

1544
01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:32,800
Speaker 2: I'm proud of you. For stepping up and doing that.

1545
01:16:33,040 --> 01:16:36,400
Speaker 2: And as you take this bride, when you take this woman,

1546
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:39,640
Speaker 2: to carry her and to comfort her, you said some

1547
01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:42,320
Speaker 2: very very powerful things. You said, I was reading her

1548
01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:45,599
Speaker 2: body language. I was reading her body language to see

1549
01:16:45,640 --> 01:16:47,960
Speaker 2: if it's getting past that threshold for her to go

1550
01:16:48,240 --> 01:16:50,200
Speaker 2: tear up the whole temple, because she was about to

1551
01:16:50,200 --> 01:16:52,240
Speaker 2: tear up the whole temple in there, flipping over tables

1552
01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:55,679
Speaker 2: in there, pull everything, act a complete food a week

1553
01:16:55,720 --> 01:16:58,160
Speaker 2: before y'all got married. You know what I'm saying. You

1554
01:16:58,200 --> 01:17:00,120
Speaker 2: know you need all that energy all in that and

1555
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:01,880
Speaker 2: you said, let me watch this, let me step into it.

1556
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:03,920
Speaker 2: What did it mean to you to watch your husband

1557
01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:05,640
Speaker 2: step into that situation.

1558
01:17:09,680 --> 01:17:10,120
Speaker 11: Everything?

1559
01:17:11,439 --> 01:17:14,040
Speaker 8: Because not only did he do that he likes to

1560
01:17:14,120 --> 01:17:17,080
Speaker 8: leave out things in the story, but he also uh,

1561
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:20,800
Speaker 8: he was like, hey, I think y'all need a time out.

1562
01:17:21,320 --> 01:17:23,519
Speaker 8: We had my niece's volleyball game to go to. It

1563
01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:26,439
Speaker 8: is getting time for that. He said, if you will

1564
01:17:26,479 --> 01:17:30,120
Speaker 8: allow her to leave this conversation, let her go get

1565
01:17:30,120 --> 01:17:33,439
Speaker 8: the stuff out the car, get dressed, and then come

1566
01:17:33,479 --> 01:17:37,960
Speaker 8: back once she's given time to You didn't.

1567
01:17:37,760 --> 01:17:40,400
Speaker 2: Step up like no husband did you You been a

1568
01:17:40,479 --> 01:17:42,479
Speaker 2: husband and.

1569
01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:43,360
Speaker 13: In that moment.

1570
01:17:43,520 --> 01:17:47,280
Speaker 8: It then also allowed them to have a one on

1571
01:17:47,280 --> 01:17:49,360
Speaker 8: one conversation without me.

1572
01:17:51,479 --> 01:17:56,680
Speaker 2: And what pastor looks like right there, and you know

1573
01:17:56,920 --> 01:17:59,640
Speaker 2: they and they had that conversation.

1574
01:18:00,200 --> 01:18:06,559
Speaker 8: But the amount of growth that I have seen this

1575
01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:11,320
Speaker 8: man go through, he said, it, CSI is intense.

1576
01:18:12,280 --> 01:18:13,639
Speaker 13: When we got.

1577
01:18:14,960 --> 01:18:19,120
Speaker 8: When we got the information, and I downloaded the book

1578
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:20,160
Speaker 8: that we're supposed to.

1579
01:18:20,200 --> 01:18:22,240
Speaker 2: Read and.

1580
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:26,920
Speaker 8: I got to maybe I skipped the introduction, but got

1581
01:18:26,960 --> 01:18:29,920
Speaker 8: to went to chapter one, read the first couple of pages.

1582
01:18:29,960 --> 01:18:30,439
Speaker 13: I called him.

1583
01:18:30,479 --> 01:18:34,519
Speaker 8: I said, uh, oh, they.

1584
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:35,839
Speaker 13: Are chapter one.

1585
01:18:36,280 --> 01:18:38,360
Speaker 9: They already hidden this in chapter one.

1586
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:43,680
Speaker 8: But I mean through CSI, this man has gone through.

1587
01:18:45,560 --> 01:18:46,080
Speaker 13: Everything.

1588
01:18:46,240 --> 01:18:50,960
Speaker 8: I mean he's had to address issues of forgiveness of

1589
01:18:53,439 --> 01:18:57,360
Speaker 8: all types of things and seeing those things unlocked in

1590
01:18:57,439 --> 01:19:02,000
Speaker 8: him and seeing the type of man he is now,

1591
01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:07,400
Speaker 8: Like I loved him before this, you know, like it

1592
01:19:08,640 --> 01:19:15,960
Speaker 8: it hits different because he is different. Because literally every

1593
01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:21,920
Speaker 8: week it was something else, it was something it was another.

1594
01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:29,840
Speaker 8: We talked about trust and accountability, and I mean our

1595
01:19:29,880 --> 01:19:34,160
Speaker 8: relationship by far is was has been and is not

1596
01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:40,040
Speaker 8: anywhere near perfect. But I mean he's doing the work

1597
01:19:40,640 --> 01:19:44,599
Speaker 8: and like it's showing up in his life, and that

1598
01:19:44,760 --> 01:19:48,040
Speaker 8: in turn, I was I'm the middle child, and so

1599
01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:54,200
Speaker 8: I was the child that you didn't have to worry about.

1600
01:19:54,200 --> 01:19:56,200
Speaker 8: Now that first and that third one I don't know,

1601
01:19:56,680 --> 01:20:01,960
Speaker 8: but but I was the one that you didn't have

1602
01:20:02,040 --> 01:20:07,440
Speaker 8: to worry about. And in turn I turned into somebody

1603
01:20:07,520 --> 01:20:12,160
Speaker 8: that I I like control, I like an order, I

1604
01:20:12,280 --> 01:20:18,879
Speaker 8: like a plan. I will that type of but seeing

1605
01:20:19,000 --> 01:20:23,000
Speaker 8: him and trusting in the fact that he can lead me.

1606
01:20:25,920 --> 01:20:31,800
Speaker 8: My south girl Aaron has has a ride like I

1607
01:20:31,800 --> 01:20:36,080
Speaker 8: I before. Before this, you know, I was concerned with

1608
01:20:36,400 --> 01:20:38,400
Speaker 8: I needed to as soon as the problem came.

1609
01:20:38,360 --> 01:20:40,280
Speaker 9: Up, I needed to fix it. I needed to.

1610
01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:42,880
Speaker 8: I could tell Okay, we're not even gonna think about it.

1611
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:45,240
Speaker 8: We're just gonna go straight into fixing it.

1612
01:20:45,360 --> 01:20:46,240
Speaker 15: Hey, this is it?

1613
01:20:46,439 --> 01:20:46,519
Speaker 3: That?

1614
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:47,200
Speaker 13: Or the third?

1615
01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:50,760
Speaker 9: You know, I changed my own tires, I do, did

1616
01:20:50,840 --> 01:20:56,200
Speaker 9: all of that, and now we have a joke. I said,

1617
01:20:56,600 --> 01:20:57,439
Speaker 9: aren't you gonna lead?

1618
01:20:57,479 --> 01:20:59,519
Speaker 15: Today?

1619
01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:01,559
Speaker 9: Is your turn to go get the gas?

1620
01:21:01,600 --> 01:21:04,080
Speaker 13: Go ahead, be that leader and go up.

1621
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:07,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1622
01:21:06,760 --> 01:21:10,519
Speaker 8: And being able to release some of all of that

1623
01:21:11,560 --> 01:21:16,679
Speaker 8: responsibility or control has freed it all up.

1624
01:21:16,640 --> 01:21:18,840
Speaker 2: Freed it all up. Last question, what are you looking

1625
01:21:18,880 --> 01:21:21,240
Speaker 2: forward to the most in the wedding? I mean, when

1626
01:21:21,240 --> 01:21:21,679
Speaker 2: you get.

1627
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:28,240
Speaker 7: Married waking up to her every day. She's a blessing.

1628
01:21:28,439 --> 01:21:31,240
Speaker 7: Like she's the outside of my kids. She is the

1629
01:21:31,280 --> 01:21:34,280
Speaker 7: best thing that's ever happened to me. So and I

1630
01:21:34,320 --> 01:21:36,160
Speaker 7: know what we have been through, what I've been through,

1631
01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:41,320
Speaker 7: so to have somebody like her to it, that's a blessing.

1632
01:21:41,520 --> 01:21:43,640
Speaker 7: So that's the reason to thank God every day just

1633
01:21:43,720 --> 01:21:44,519
Speaker 7: by looking at her.

1634
01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:49,080
Speaker 2: What about you, what are you looking forward to the most?

1635
01:21:50,280 --> 01:21:51,479
Speaker 9: I'm looking forward to.

1636
01:21:52,760 --> 01:21:57,880
Speaker 8: I'm looking forward to seeing the next things that God

1637
01:21:57,960 --> 01:22:00,519
Speaker 8: is going to do in our lives because, like I

1638
01:22:00,560 --> 01:22:05,320
Speaker 8: said at the beginning, our whole relationship or since this

1639
01:22:05,400 --> 01:22:09,280
Speaker 8: process is sorted, has been a confirmation after confirmation after confirmation.

1640
01:22:09,479 --> 01:22:10,240
Speaker 9: Getting them in.

1641
01:22:10,800 --> 01:22:15,519
Speaker 8: I mean even as today right now, you know, and

1642
01:22:17,680 --> 01:22:21,400
Speaker 8: the miracles that happen and that God does and things

1643
01:22:21,439 --> 01:22:25,200
Speaker 8: like that, I can't wait to see what else is

1644
01:22:25,280 --> 01:22:27,000
Speaker 8: going that He got in store.

1645
01:22:27,360 --> 01:22:31,840
Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, that's amazing, Carteris I want y'all talk about that.

1646
01:22:31,920 --> 01:22:35,400
Speaker 2: Y'all just heard a dynamic testimony of the stuff that

1647
01:22:35,439 --> 01:22:38,400
Speaker 2: happens behind the scenes, behind the scenes, when God has

1648
01:22:38,439 --> 01:22:41,720
Speaker 2: spoken to y'all to make a call like this, this

1649
01:22:41,800 --> 01:22:45,200
Speaker 2: clarion call to the congregation to step up. But not

1650
01:22:45,320 --> 01:22:47,880
Speaker 2: realizing what's going on behind the scenes for them to

1651
01:22:47,920 --> 01:22:51,720
Speaker 2: take that stand to forsake all others, to walk through

1652
01:22:51,720 --> 01:22:54,840
Speaker 2: this beautiful thing that y'all are affording people. What do

1653
01:22:54,880 --> 01:22:57,360
Speaker 2: you think and what were you thinking when you were

1654
01:22:57,400 --> 01:22:59,719
Speaker 2: hearing their journey.

1655
01:23:02,720 --> 01:23:03,559
Speaker 15: I'll start with y'all.

1656
01:23:03,640 --> 01:23:06,439
Speaker 10: I was thinking of just the maturity that you had

1657
01:23:06,560 --> 01:23:10,599
Speaker 10: with handling the situation with your future father in law

1658
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:17,360
Speaker 10: and where your future father in love and just yeah,

1659
01:23:17,439 --> 01:23:20,040
Speaker 10: just the maturity and the wisdom that you had with that,

1660
01:23:20,240 --> 01:23:22,240
Speaker 10: because I don't think I would have had that.

1661
01:23:22,880 --> 01:23:24,719
Speaker 15: I think I would have flipped that table quick.

1662
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:31,599
Speaker 10: I know I would have, and he knows I would

1663
01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:34,480
Speaker 10: have absolutely absolutely.

1664
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:38,639
Speaker 2: This has been uh.

1665
01:23:38,160 --> 01:23:41,680
Speaker 1: You know, it's been really rich, you know, because I

1666
01:23:41,720 --> 01:23:44,280
Speaker 1: hadn't heard the behind the scenes and some of and

1667
01:23:44,320 --> 01:23:49,360
Speaker 1: so the here you know, how God works in relationships,

1668
01:23:49,439 --> 01:23:52,280
Speaker 1: right and how we get put we in a setting,

1669
01:23:52,360 --> 01:23:54,720
Speaker 1: We issue a challenge, We invite you into the process,

1670
01:23:55,400 --> 01:23:58,759
Speaker 1: but you have to walk, you have to walk with God,

1671
01:23:58,840 --> 01:24:00,640
Speaker 1: you have to grow, you have to submit, you have

1672
01:24:00,720 --> 01:24:01,800
Speaker 1: to watch learn.

1673
01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,320
Speaker 2: So I'm so proud of you guys.

1674
01:24:03,360 --> 01:24:06,040
Speaker 1: I mean, just to hear the journeys that you've been

1675
01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:10,320
Speaker 1: on and how you've grown and the challenges, right, that's

1676
01:24:10,360 --> 01:24:12,519
Speaker 1: the tension. I mean, we related. We were in counseling

1677
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:15,400
Speaker 1: ourselves and the council. He said, man, y'all having sex.

1678
01:24:15,439 --> 01:24:17,800
Speaker 1: He said, something is wrong with your relationships. Y'all are

1679
01:24:17,840 --> 01:24:19,800
Speaker 1: all over the place. We were just were we were

1680
01:24:19,800 --> 01:24:22,439
Speaker 1: all out of order. So we remember, we were mad,

1681
01:24:22,479 --> 01:24:25,400
Speaker 1: we're all out of order, and we were like, man, like,

1682
01:24:25,720 --> 01:24:27,120
Speaker 1: how does he knows this about us?

1683
01:24:27,200 --> 01:24:29,439
Speaker 10: We were like wait when he was like the counselor

1684
01:24:29,439 --> 01:24:30,280
Speaker 10: lily looked at us.

1685
01:24:30,320 --> 01:24:31,320
Speaker 15: He's like, are y'all having sex?

1686
01:24:31,360 --> 01:24:35,760
Speaker 1: And we're like, why do you Why do you say that?

1687
01:24:35,800 --> 01:24:36,519
Speaker 2: What were y'all at?

1688
01:24:36,880 --> 01:24:39,680
Speaker 10: Because he said we were fighting like an actual he

1689
01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:42,800
Speaker 10: was like, we were fighting. Like now he makes this

1690
01:24:43,000 --> 01:24:44,519
Speaker 10: claim that I told him I was going to buy

1691
01:24:44,560 --> 01:24:47,160
Speaker 10: the space off, don't.

1692
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:49,720
Speaker 2: I don't know why I believe. I don't know why

1693
01:24:49,720 --> 01:24:50,320
Speaker 2: I believe that.

1694
01:24:51,120 --> 01:24:57,200
Speaker 1: I don't even know, But but there is something about that.

1695
01:24:57,439 --> 01:25:01,960
Speaker 1: I think the Lord uses those struggles during the dating season,

1696
01:25:02,040 --> 01:25:05,080
Speaker 1: the premarital time, to get us ready. Like I just

1697
01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:07,960
Speaker 1: so hearing those struggles just helps us know that. I

1698
01:25:08,000 --> 01:25:10,080
Speaker 1: think that's a little how he prepare us what you

1699
01:25:10,200 --> 01:25:11,559
Speaker 1: had to go through what you had to face, what

1700
01:25:11,640 --> 01:25:13,760
Speaker 1: y'all had. I mean, I think the Lord has does

1701
01:25:13,880 --> 01:25:16,479
Speaker 1: all that to prepare us for marriage, to give us

1702
01:25:16,880 --> 01:25:19,360
Speaker 1: the skills to help us and know how to pray together,

1703
01:25:19,400 --> 01:25:22,200
Speaker 1: how to work through stuff, to learn each other's triggers

1704
01:25:22,240 --> 01:25:24,200
Speaker 1: and what to say, what not to say, and all

1705
01:25:24,240 --> 01:25:26,200
Speaker 1: those things. And then you got extended family. I mean,

1706
01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:28,719
Speaker 1: so you're not just marrying the person. You got their family,

1707
01:25:29,439 --> 01:25:31,600
Speaker 1: blended families, all of that. So I just think the

1708
01:25:31,640 --> 01:25:34,120
Speaker 1: Lord uses all of that. So I'm just I'm blown

1709
01:25:34,160 --> 01:25:35,880
Speaker 1: away and grateful for how the Lord uses it.

1710
01:25:36,120 --> 01:25:39,200
Speaker 10: And I think you need to take these experiences that

1711
01:25:39,280 --> 01:25:44,240
Speaker 10: you're having and realize every day that you spend together,

1712
01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:48,880
Speaker 10: and whether you've been married ten years look like an

1713
01:25:49,200 --> 01:25:53,440
Speaker 10: or day or someone you have to use these experiences

1714
01:25:53,479 --> 01:25:55,960
Speaker 10: to build upon because you are going to have challenges.

1715
01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:58,400
Speaker 10: And I mean, I would love to sit here and

1716
01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:00,439
Speaker 10: say our first year marriage was just so grade.

1717
01:26:00,479 --> 01:26:01,120
Speaker 2: It wasn't.

1718
01:26:01,520 --> 01:26:05,000
Speaker 10: But we learned how to We learned how to love

1719
01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:07,800
Speaker 10: each other, we learned how to fight, and you know

1720
01:26:07,880 --> 01:26:10,439
Speaker 10: that was the reason why we joined Concord. Like our

1721
01:26:10,479 --> 01:26:14,920
Speaker 10: story was, we graduated in May, got married in June,

1722
01:26:15,280 --> 01:26:19,280
Speaker 10: moved to Dallas and then joined Concord in July. And

1723
01:26:19,360 --> 01:26:22,400
Speaker 10: I remember the reason why we were drawn to Concord.

1724
01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:24,439
Speaker 10: We were doing the church tour like everybody else because

1725
01:26:24,439 --> 01:26:26,840
Speaker 10: we weren't Pastor and Lady Carter. Then we were just

1726
01:26:26,840 --> 01:26:30,439
Speaker 10: Brian and Stephanie, third grade teacher and a middle school teacher,

1727
01:26:30,560 --> 01:26:33,080
Speaker 10: and we were just trying to make it. And what

1728
01:26:33,200 --> 01:26:35,680
Speaker 10: drew us a Concord was our founding pastor.

1729
01:26:35,360 --> 01:26:35,880
Speaker 2: And his wife.

1730
01:26:35,880 --> 01:26:38,200
Speaker 10: We looked at them on Sunday morning, We're kind of like,

1731
01:26:38,400 --> 01:26:39,040
Speaker 10: you know what, they.

1732
01:26:38,960 --> 01:26:40,120
Speaker 15: Look like they love each other.

1733
01:26:40,160 --> 01:26:43,799
Speaker 10: We need to be around something like that so we can.

1734
01:26:43,720 --> 01:26:44,439
Speaker 15: Love each other.

1735
01:26:45,560 --> 01:26:48,200
Speaker 10: And it just looked like it looked like love and

1736
01:26:48,240 --> 01:26:51,040
Speaker 10: it looked like family. And then remember we went to

1737
01:26:51,160 --> 01:26:53,160
Speaker 10: they had a marriage conference, and we went to the

1738
01:26:53,160 --> 01:26:55,760
Speaker 10: marriage conference. We won like all the awards because we

1739
01:26:55,760 --> 01:26:57,320
Speaker 10: were like the youngest couple.

1740
01:26:57,080 --> 01:26:59,720
Speaker 1: There were everything.

1741
01:27:00,479 --> 01:27:00,679
Speaker 8: Man.

1742
01:27:01,200 --> 01:27:04,679
Speaker 1: And then you know, Kevin should not lead the whole suicide.

1743
01:27:04,720 --> 01:27:06,960
Speaker 1: They lead the whole process. So they went through it

1744
01:27:07,320 --> 01:27:09,120
Speaker 1: and now they're helping them lead that. And we're super

1745
01:27:09,120 --> 01:27:10,880
Speaker 1: priud of how you guys using you guys as well.

1746
01:27:10,880 --> 01:27:12,639
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go around real quick, and I want y'all

1747
01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:18,960
Speaker 2: to share. Starting with y'all, what would you say to

1748
01:27:19,080 --> 01:27:22,920
Speaker 2: people that may be watching this episode that are cohabitating

1749
01:27:23,479 --> 01:27:26,559
Speaker 2: or shocking whichever word you want to use. Uh, what

1750
01:27:26,560 --> 01:27:33,040
Speaker 2: would you say to encourage them to go from y'all

1751
01:27:33,080 --> 01:27:36,240
Speaker 2: worded it best? What you say not commitment to cohabitation

1752
01:27:36,760 --> 01:27:40,120
Speaker 2: to covenant? So what would you say to encourage them

1753
01:27:40,120 --> 01:27:41,920
Speaker 2: to go from cohabitation to covenant?

1754
01:27:43,800 --> 01:27:51,880
Speaker 12: I would say the world put marriage as if it's

1755
01:27:51,920 --> 01:27:55,839
Speaker 12: like a bad thing. People always downplaying marriage. They're always

1756
01:27:55,880 --> 01:27:59,559
Speaker 12: having sly words that they would say, and it's never

1757
01:28:00,080 --> 01:28:06,479
Speaker 12: to this. I know when I'm at work, people may

1758
01:28:06,479 --> 01:28:08,280
Speaker 12: come up, I'm never getting married, like, well, you just

1759
01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:10,639
Speaker 12: haven't found a great wife because I have one, right,

1760
01:28:10,720 --> 01:28:13,519
Speaker 12: So once you know you have one, once God has

1761
01:28:13,600 --> 01:28:18,559
Speaker 12: put your special bride in your life, It's a beautiful thing.

1762
01:28:18,840 --> 01:28:21,320
Speaker 12: Manage is such a beautiful thing, and I'm grateful for

1763
01:28:21,400 --> 01:28:25,120
Speaker 12: it and I'm a promoter of it, like I tell everyone, like,

1764
01:28:25,160 --> 01:28:29,800
Speaker 12: if you have an opportunity, man up the men, take

1765
01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:30,760
Speaker 12: the champions and man up.

1766
01:28:31,439 --> 01:28:34,280
Speaker 2: Monique Sea Bear, I'm just.

1767
01:28:35,920 --> 01:28:42,519
Speaker 14: Agreeing with him on one hundred percent because, like we

1768
01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:46,920
Speaker 14: mentioned earlier, most of the time it is the mill.

1769
01:28:47,439 --> 01:28:50,360
Speaker 14: You know, we're just waiting for our night in shin

1770
01:28:50,520 --> 01:28:52,600
Speaker 14: in or to come on. Not really not really, not

1771
01:28:52,640 --> 01:28:54,800
Speaker 14: a shadown, but you know what I mean, our husbands

1772
01:28:54,840 --> 01:28:58,799
Speaker 14: to come and take the lead, and you have to submit.

1773
01:28:59,800 --> 01:29:04,320
Speaker 2: Good the Evans, what would you say to speak to

1774
01:29:04,360 --> 01:29:08,760
Speaker 2: those that are cohabitating to go from cohabitation to covenant?

1775
01:29:09,160 --> 01:29:12,200
Speaker 2: What would you say to encourage them? A few thirteen

1776
01:29:12,240 --> 01:29:14,799
Speaker 2: seconds all the way around? Yep? A few things first.

1777
01:29:15,400 --> 01:29:19,479
Speaker 4: Understand, as Otis said, there's a lot of professional single

1778
01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:22,759
Speaker 4: people who are trying to tell you about what marriage

1779
01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:25,639
Speaker 4: should look like and have never done it. Don't understand

1780
01:29:25,640 --> 01:29:28,760
Speaker 4: the covenant, don't understand the real work that goes into it.

1781
01:29:29,040 --> 01:29:33,680
Speaker 4: I find somebody who is living and earnestly submitting to

1782
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:36,400
Speaker 4: what God has called them to do in their own marriage,

1783
01:29:36,680 --> 01:29:39,840
Speaker 4: to take advice from and pattern your relationship with. And

1784
01:29:39,960 --> 01:29:42,440
Speaker 4: don't think day one you're gonna have the blueprint.

1785
01:29:42,479 --> 01:29:42,880
Speaker 2: All right.

1786
01:29:43,160 --> 01:29:46,320
Speaker 4: There is a understanding of who you are as a husband,

1787
01:29:46,520 --> 01:29:49,160
Speaker 4: who your partner is as a wife, and who you

1788
01:29:49,240 --> 01:29:52,000
Speaker 4: are together that you have to get before you even

1789
01:29:52,040 --> 01:29:54,960
Speaker 4: start understanding how we do this thing together.

1790
01:29:55,439 --> 01:29:56,360
Speaker 2: Good, Thank you, Kevin.

1791
01:29:56,400 --> 01:29:58,880
Speaker 3: For sure, I would say that you know, if you've

1792
01:29:58,880 --> 01:30:00,720
Speaker 3: heard the testimony from some.

1793
01:30:00,720 --> 01:30:01,559
Speaker 15: Of the other couples.

1794
01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:05,600
Speaker 3: They talked about CSI being an experience and how it

1795
01:30:06,200 --> 01:30:10,559
Speaker 3: challenged them to be honest and faithful and you know,

1796
01:30:10,720 --> 01:30:13,920
Speaker 3: transparents about all the things that they've gone through. And

1797
01:30:14,040 --> 01:30:17,240
Speaker 3: so if you honor your relationship and if you put

1798
01:30:17,400 --> 01:30:20,800
Speaker 3: value in that relationship, trust God and he'll give you

1799
01:30:21,120 --> 01:30:24,760
Speaker 3: that valuable thing. He'll honor that, you know, relationship, he'll

1800
01:30:24,760 --> 01:30:27,960
Speaker 3: bless that relationship. And so just you know, give him

1801
01:30:28,000 --> 01:30:30,920
Speaker 3: that trust and know that you know, God delivers everything.

1802
01:30:32,160 --> 01:30:34,160
Speaker 2: Let's move on to the Murrays. Evan.

1803
01:30:35,400 --> 01:30:38,160
Speaker 5: Yes, I would think for me, specifically for our generation,

1804
01:30:39,200 --> 01:30:41,679
Speaker 5: we tend to I don't know, it's just all about

1805
01:30:41,720 --> 01:30:44,800
Speaker 5: the next and not the now. So when people bring

1806
01:30:44,840 --> 01:30:47,120
Speaker 5: to you, like just for example, I remember when the

1807
01:30:47,200 --> 01:30:49,880
Speaker 5: number one question I got when she was pregnant with

1808
01:30:49,920 --> 01:30:53,400
Speaker 5: Ethan was are you ready? And my counteractive question would be,

1809
01:30:53,640 --> 01:30:55,519
Speaker 5: how could I be ready for something that I've never

1810
01:30:55,560 --> 01:30:58,000
Speaker 5: done before? And that's the same thing when it comes

1811
01:30:58,040 --> 01:31:01,160
Speaker 5: to marriage. You never going to be ready for anything

1812
01:31:01,160 --> 01:31:04,040
Speaker 5: in your life, just like you took. Marriage is not

1813
01:31:04,080 --> 01:31:06,080
Speaker 5: a risk, but it kind of falls in the same

1814
01:31:06,240 --> 01:31:08,960
Speaker 5: umbrella where hey, wherever you are on your life or now.

1815
01:31:09,000 --> 01:31:10,880
Speaker 5: I guarantee you, if you didn't take that leap, you

1816
01:31:10,880 --> 01:31:11,840
Speaker 5: wouldn't be there today.

1817
01:31:12,000 --> 01:31:13,879
Speaker 2: So if you took that leap to move.

1818
01:31:13,720 --> 01:31:16,599
Speaker 5: To Dallas from your hometown, why not take the leap

1819
01:31:16,840 --> 01:31:19,600
Speaker 5: to be with your forever and then reap all of

1820
01:31:19,640 --> 01:31:22,160
Speaker 5: the benefits and the blessings that God has for your life.

1821
01:31:22,920 --> 01:31:24,560
Speaker 2: That's good, that's good. The Asian.

1822
01:31:25,840 --> 01:31:29,519
Speaker 6: I would say, just take that leap of faith. This

1823
01:31:29,640 --> 01:31:33,479
Speaker 6: has literally been the best thing that has ever happened

1824
01:31:33,479 --> 01:31:37,280
Speaker 6: to me. And I feel like with life there will

1825
01:31:37,320 --> 01:31:41,400
Speaker 6: always be ups and downs. And I once heard someone say,

1826
01:31:41,640 --> 01:31:44,479
Speaker 6: find someone who you can have a bad time with,

1827
01:31:44,720 --> 01:31:45,960
Speaker 6: you know, because.

1828
01:31:45,680 --> 01:31:47,360
Speaker 11: You find people and it's easy to have.

1829
01:31:47,320 --> 01:31:49,920
Speaker 6: A good time with someone, and there's no one else

1830
01:31:49,960 --> 01:31:52,280
Speaker 6: that I would rather go through those bad times with.

1831
01:31:52,439 --> 01:31:53,800
Speaker 11: So just take that leap of faith.

1832
01:31:54,720 --> 01:32:04,000
Speaker 2: Good good future. Hillary Ghillary getting married this Saturday. There

1833
01:32:04,040 --> 01:32:06,679
Speaker 2: it is, there, it is You'll become a left hand

1834
01:32:06,760 --> 01:32:11,680
Speaker 2: ring will And so what would you say fifteen seconds

1835
01:32:13,240 --> 01:32:16,280
Speaker 2: to encourage people who are coming out the same situation

1836
01:32:16,360 --> 01:32:19,880
Speaker 2: that you are coming out of, to go from cohabitation

1837
01:32:20,360 --> 01:32:23,679
Speaker 2: to covenant. How would you encourage them.

1838
01:32:23,840 --> 01:32:26,720
Speaker 8: Trusting God at the end of the day. Even if

1839
01:32:26,760 --> 01:32:31,320
Speaker 8: you're cohabitating with somebody, you're not going you're not.

1840
01:32:31,240 --> 01:32:33,200
Speaker 9: Going to officially know if you can trust them.

1841
01:32:33,320 --> 01:32:36,040
Speaker 8: But what you can do is trust in God because

1842
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:39,320
Speaker 8: he said he will never leave or for sake, no

1843
01:32:39,439 --> 01:32:44,400
Speaker 8: matter the good, the bad, the ugly, the worst. Taking

1844
01:32:44,439 --> 01:32:48,280
Speaker 8: the time and just making the decision to trust in

1845
01:32:48,479 --> 01:32:52,439
Speaker 8: God and to let him lead your decisions, let him

1846
01:32:52,520 --> 01:32:56,840
Speaker 8: lead your life. What Because at the end of the day,

1847
01:32:57,800 --> 01:33:00,599
Speaker 8: Damon may not have been the one for me. Like

1848
01:33:00,640 --> 01:33:03,160
Speaker 8: Pastor Carter said, they give us three choices, and if

1849
01:33:03,160 --> 01:33:08,880
Speaker 8: that choice could have been it g no. But had

1850
01:33:08,920 --> 01:33:15,240
Speaker 8: we not trusted in God and trust that whatever he

1851
01:33:15,320 --> 01:33:19,080
Speaker 8: wanted to happen would happen, we wouldn't be here. So

1852
01:33:19,560 --> 01:33:22,439
Speaker 8: stop trying to trust yourself because one day you like it,

1853
01:33:22,479 --> 01:33:23,280
Speaker 8: one day you don't.

1854
01:33:24,560 --> 01:33:27,120
Speaker 9: And trusting the one who never changes, that's good.

1855
01:33:27,320 --> 01:33:31,280
Speaker 7: Damon, speaking as someone who had who brought kids into

1856
01:33:31,280 --> 01:33:36,000
Speaker 7: the situation. If you have kids, you want to show

1857
01:33:36,000 --> 01:33:37,759
Speaker 7: them an example that they can follow.

1858
01:33:38,160 --> 01:33:38,639
Speaker 2: That's good.

1859
01:33:40,000 --> 01:33:42,599
Speaker 7: And not only are you showing them a godly example

1860
01:33:42,680 --> 01:33:46,680
Speaker 7: of a marriage and a covenant, you're also showing them

1861
01:33:46,720 --> 01:33:49,440
Speaker 7: taking the easy way out doesn't.

1862
01:33:49,120 --> 01:33:50,120
Speaker 2: Always work out for you.

1863
01:33:50,160 --> 01:33:52,800
Speaker 7: So make the hard decision, do it the right way,

1864
01:33:52,880 --> 01:33:54,080
Speaker 7: and you'll reap the benefits.

1865
01:33:54,200 --> 01:33:59,080
Speaker 2: After the Carter's any closing remarks.

1866
01:33:59,280 --> 01:34:01,320
Speaker 1: Man, thank you for hosting this, thank you for giving

1867
01:34:01,400 --> 01:34:02,880
Speaker 1: us a conversation to talk.

1868
01:34:03,160 --> 01:34:04,639
Speaker 2: We just believe that covenant right.

1869
01:34:04,720 --> 01:34:07,120
Speaker 1: We believe that dating to date is one thing day

1870
01:34:07,240 --> 01:34:09,680
Speaker 1: the marriage an entirely different thing. And we think it's

1871
01:34:09,680 --> 01:34:12,000
Speaker 1: a fall of Christ. As God grows you, you want

1872
01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:15,120
Speaker 1: to be growing to a committed relationship. And marriage is

1873
01:34:15,160 --> 01:34:18,160
Speaker 1: a good thing. The culture says, anybody else says, God

1874
01:34:18,160 --> 01:34:20,680
Speaker 1: says is a good thing, and good things happen when

1875
01:34:20,680 --> 01:34:23,439
Speaker 1: we commit to God and commit to one other person.

1876
01:34:23,520 --> 01:34:25,599
Speaker 1: I think the Lord just does something in that act.

1877
01:34:25,720 --> 01:34:28,679
Speaker 1: He honors that, He blesses that in so many ways.

1878
01:34:28,760 --> 01:34:32,920
Speaker 1: So we just want to encourage couples to choose covenant,

1879
01:34:33,120 --> 01:34:35,040
Speaker 1: not just to settle for cohabitation.

1880
01:34:35,280 --> 01:34:37,240
Speaker 2: That's good, Stephanie, got anything in your spirit?

1881
01:34:39,960 --> 01:34:45,080
Speaker 10: I would just say that I would challenge any couple

1882
01:34:45,080 --> 01:34:49,719
Speaker 10: who's been married ten plus years to just pour into

1883
01:34:49,760 --> 01:34:52,720
Speaker 10: other couples, not only pour into other couples, but pour

1884
01:34:52,760 --> 01:34:59,000
Speaker 10: into singles, mentor of women, mentor men. Encourage them be

1885
01:34:59,160 --> 01:35:04,240
Speaker 10: transparent about how relationships are and just to be that

1886
01:35:04,280 --> 01:35:07,479
Speaker 10: support system and so on, because I think sometimes it's

1887
01:35:07,520 --> 01:35:13,760
Speaker 10: so hard that whether you're in your forties, fifties, I'm

1888
01:35:13,760 --> 01:35:18,000
Speaker 10: in my fifties, forties, fifties and sixties, that sometimes we

1889
01:35:18,080 --> 01:35:21,480
Speaker 10: gatekeep and we don't need to gatekeep on relationships.

1890
01:35:21,760 --> 01:35:24,639
Speaker 15: We need to we need to make.

1891
01:35:24,479 --> 01:35:28,400
Speaker 10: Sure that we're encouraging we also, if we have young children,

1892
01:35:28,720 --> 01:35:31,559
Speaker 10: setting the model for them and modeling for them healthy

1893
01:35:31,680 --> 01:35:34,599
Speaker 10: godly relationships, that's good.

1894
01:35:35,200 --> 01:35:39,519
Speaker 2: Listen. Again, I can't thank y'all enough for doing what

1895
01:35:39,640 --> 01:35:41,880
Speaker 2: y'all do in the body of Christ. Again, I don't

1896
01:35:41,920 --> 01:35:44,600
Speaker 2: take it lightly. I know that y'all inspired me a

1897
01:35:44,640 --> 01:35:48,240
Speaker 2: lot watching the ministry that y'all have. I love the

1898
01:35:48,280 --> 01:35:52,360
Speaker 2: fact that y'all let each other be each other. You know,

1899
01:35:52,479 --> 01:35:56,320
Speaker 2: you let stephanieed be a redeemed thug and you know

1900
01:35:56,360 --> 01:35:59,559
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, she's a born again thug. And you

1901
01:35:59,680 --> 01:36:02,840
Speaker 2: let you let my boy be who he is. Yeah,

1902
01:36:02,920 --> 01:36:05,559
Speaker 2: be Pastory. Yeah, it's to worry Pastory, that's what you say, Pastory.

1903
01:36:06,200 --> 01:36:08,479
Speaker 2: So so I just love that and I believe that

1904
01:36:08,479 --> 01:36:11,240
Speaker 2: that's so important in order to, you know, have a

1905
01:36:11,240 --> 01:36:14,200
Speaker 2: thriving relationship. So often we get in relationships, trying to

1906
01:36:14,280 --> 01:36:16,960
Speaker 2: change that person to be who we are instead of

1907
01:36:16,960 --> 01:36:19,479
Speaker 2: saying no, you know, Paula Abdul said, when I was

1908
01:36:19,479 --> 01:36:21,240
Speaker 2: growing up, opposites of track. You know what I'm saying,

1909
01:36:21,240 --> 01:36:24,439
Speaker 2: I'm telling my age and telling my age. It was,

1910
01:36:24,439 --> 01:36:26,639
Speaker 2: wasn't it? She said, opposite a track? And so he said,

1911
01:36:26,640 --> 01:36:27,920
Speaker 2: I ain't never heard it. You know, I told your age.

1912
01:36:30,320 --> 01:36:33,360
Speaker 2: That's on American Idol? Is that the lady? Yeah, look

1913
01:36:33,400 --> 01:36:35,400
Speaker 2: at up, look at up? You know. So she said,

1914
01:36:35,439 --> 01:36:37,800
Speaker 2: opposites a track and I and I respect that. And

1915
01:36:37,840 --> 01:36:41,400
Speaker 2: so what I love about y'all is that y'all unapologetically

1916
01:36:41,479 --> 01:36:44,360
Speaker 2: who y'all are. And that's the reason why people can

1917
01:36:44,400 --> 01:36:46,800
Speaker 2: come one service and say I'm supposed to be here.

1918
01:36:46,840 --> 01:36:48,880
Speaker 2: That's why they can pop up one service and say

1919
01:36:49,040 --> 01:36:51,320
Speaker 2: God spoke to me, I'm supposed to be here, because

1920
01:36:51,360 --> 01:36:56,599
Speaker 2: that's so foreign, unfortunate. Unfortunately, is to see leadership model

1921
01:36:56,640 --> 01:36:59,320
Speaker 2: what they preach and also be a place in the

1922
01:36:59,400 --> 01:37:02,160
Speaker 2: safe space for people to say hold on. Not one

1923
01:37:02,240 --> 01:37:06,559
Speaker 2: person said. Not one person said they felt judged because

1924
01:37:06,560 --> 01:37:10,360
Speaker 2: they were cohabitating. They felt challenged, but they didn't feel judged.

1925
01:37:10,640 --> 01:37:15,360
Speaker 2: And so keep leading like you're doing y'all about to

1926
01:37:15,960 --> 01:37:19,360
Speaker 2: what it's gonna be. Twenty six couples. Yes, we'll married

1927
01:37:19,400 --> 01:37:20,160
Speaker 2: twenty four couples.

1928
01:37:20,160 --> 01:37:22,679
Speaker 1: Twenty four couples are going to say I do together,

1929
01:37:23,000 --> 01:37:24,599
Speaker 1: and we're so excited for them.

1930
01:37:24,640 --> 01:37:26,080
Speaker 2: They've completed all their classes.

1931
01:37:26,200 --> 01:37:28,559
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start off with this year. We started out

1932
01:37:28,600 --> 01:37:31,920
Speaker 1: with probably close to forty. I think they close to forty.

1933
01:37:32,000 --> 01:37:34,519
Speaker 1: And as we went through the journey and twenty four

1934
01:37:34,600 --> 01:37:37,600
Speaker 1: an hour have made it through, made it through the

1935
01:37:37,600 --> 01:37:38,600
Speaker 1: optical course.

1936
01:37:39,920 --> 01:37:43,040
Speaker 2: On other side. So is it really that hard, y'all?

1937
01:37:43,760 --> 01:37:46,400
Speaker 2: It is so you understand when people drop off.

1938
01:37:48,720 --> 01:37:51,799
Speaker 9: Any game, Oh that week was real hard.

1939
01:37:51,920 --> 01:37:52,960
Speaker 15: We lost a couple.

1940
01:37:54,360 --> 01:37:56,400
Speaker 2: So y'all know when the week is about to approach

1941
01:37:56,439 --> 01:37:57,920
Speaker 2: where you say it's about to get really tough and

1942
01:37:57,960 --> 01:37:58,880
Speaker 2: they're about to fall off.

1943
01:37:59,080 --> 01:38:04,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, we challenge, Yeah, we challenge them every week, letting

1944
01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:06,880
Speaker 4: them know this is gonna be something more difficult than

1945
01:38:06,920 --> 01:38:09,120
Speaker 4: you've done. It's going to challenge you in ways you

1946
01:38:09,640 --> 01:38:11,800
Speaker 4: didn't think you could be challenged. We tell them in

1947
01:38:11,840 --> 01:38:15,519
Speaker 4: the orientation you're gonna have conversations you have never had before.

1948
01:38:16,160 --> 01:38:19,000
Speaker 2: And they look at us and they're like, okay, yeah, whatever.

1949
01:38:19,240 --> 01:38:21,800
Speaker 4: And then week one comes and they're looking at us

1950
01:38:21,840 --> 01:38:25,800
Speaker 4: as we're discussing the homework, and they've had these conversations.

1951
01:38:25,840 --> 01:38:28,240
Speaker 4: And I'm going to say one word to all of

1952
01:38:28,280 --> 01:38:35,639
Speaker 4: you'all heart talk. Heart talk, man. It has you deal

1953
01:38:35,680 --> 01:38:38,960
Speaker 4: with the things that you've tried to pack down and

1954
01:38:39,040 --> 01:38:41,840
Speaker 4: bury and hide in the closet and take the light

1955
01:38:41,880 --> 01:38:44,080
Speaker 4: off of, and it brings them to light, so that

1956
01:38:44,439 --> 01:38:47,759
Speaker 4: not only you are aware of what's influencing your decisions,

1957
01:38:47,800 --> 01:38:51,080
Speaker 4: what your partner is and and letting someone in that

1958
01:38:51,160 --> 01:38:55,760
Speaker 4: takes trust, That takes you being transparent, and it's difficult.

1959
01:38:55,840 --> 01:38:59,360
Speaker 4: And the conversations that happened during the session and during

1960
01:38:59,400 --> 01:39:01,960
Speaker 4: the week for the session are transformational.

1961
01:39:02,520 --> 01:39:06,639
Speaker 5: So they also sorry also hit you when you first

1962
01:39:06,720 --> 01:39:13,000
Speaker 5: get into the challenge with the Purity Company.

1963
01:39:11,320 --> 01:39:15,679
Speaker 2: No sex for ninety days, everybody just drop. I guess

1964
01:39:15,720 --> 01:39:18,200
Speaker 2: that's I came at least I showed up. I showed up.

1965
01:39:19,400 --> 01:39:20,559
Speaker 2: And we never try to force it.

1966
01:39:20,640 --> 01:39:22,559
Speaker 1: So although it's a nine to day challenge, if we

1967
01:39:22,560 --> 01:39:26,360
Speaker 1: feel like a couple's not ready, we make those decisions

1968
01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:28,559
Speaker 1: right and say, well, let's let's give them more time

1969
01:39:29,160 --> 01:39:31,559
Speaker 1: before we prepare for that. So we've learned a lot

1970
01:39:31,600 --> 01:39:34,080
Speaker 1: of lessons over the years in terms of happened to

1971
01:39:34,400 --> 01:39:36,200
Speaker 1: to care for couples and share pul them well.

1972
01:39:36,120 --> 01:39:39,439
Speaker 2: Through the process. So y'all make the decisions for yes, sir, yes, sir,

1973
01:39:40,560 --> 01:39:42,280
Speaker 2: And we don't think this is where God is leading

1974
01:39:42,320 --> 01:39:44,320
Speaker 2: you in this season of your life. We're gonna need

1975
01:39:44,320 --> 01:39:47,280
Speaker 2: a little bit more time. We're gonna be doing this

1976
01:39:47,320 --> 01:39:49,519
Speaker 2: in another three years, and we're gonna invite you how

1977
01:39:49,520 --> 01:39:52,719
Speaker 2: to come back. That is actually the case.

1978
01:39:52,840 --> 01:39:56,280
Speaker 4: We had three couples this session do CUSI for a

1979
01:39:56,320 --> 01:39:59,919
Speaker 4: second time because they knew, you know, we had hominous conversation,

1980
01:40:00,040 --> 01:40:03,679
Speaker 4: either us or other facilitators said, you know, y'all been

1981
01:40:04,040 --> 01:40:07,639
Speaker 4: through the class, but you haven't gotten what God has

1982
01:40:07,680 --> 01:40:11,200
Speaker 4: for you here. So take time, continue to work on

1983
01:40:11,240 --> 01:40:14,639
Speaker 4: the relationship. CSI will be here again. And three couples

1984
01:40:14,680 --> 01:40:17,200
Speaker 4: came back and did the whole process, and to all

1985
01:40:17,240 --> 01:40:19,320
Speaker 4: three of them said, we are so thankful that we

1986
01:40:19,400 --> 01:40:21,360
Speaker 4: did it again because we didn't get what we were

1987
01:40:21,360 --> 01:40:25,400
Speaker 4: supposed to do. Sometimes it's individual growth we needed, or

1988
01:40:25,880 --> 01:40:28,720
Speaker 4: a collective growth, or maybe there was something going on

1989
01:40:28,880 --> 01:40:30,960
Speaker 4: at the time we tried to go through class that

1990
01:40:31,120 --> 01:40:34,320
Speaker 4: was a distraction and we couldn't really focus and hear

1991
01:40:35,080 --> 01:40:38,599
Speaker 4: directly from God. There was white noise that was clogging

1992
01:40:38,960 --> 01:40:41,519
Speaker 4: our ears, so we couldn't be quiet, we couldn't hear

1993
01:40:41,560 --> 01:40:43,760
Speaker 4: exactly what God was saying to us. And so we're

1994
01:40:43,760 --> 01:40:46,639
Speaker 4: thankful that CSI isn't a you know, a one time,

1995
01:40:46,720 --> 01:40:47,240
Speaker 4: one shot.

1996
01:40:47,360 --> 01:40:48,559
Speaker 2: If you don't get it right.

1997
01:40:48,439 --> 01:40:51,720
Speaker 4: We can't take you back through the program. And I

1998
01:40:51,720 --> 01:40:54,200
Speaker 4: think all three of them got what they needed this time,

1999
01:40:54,360 --> 01:40:56,080
Speaker 4: and the relationships were better for it.

2000
01:40:56,560 --> 01:40:58,840
Speaker 2: Do you know how powerful that is? Though? I hear

2001
01:40:58,880 --> 01:41:01,040
Speaker 2: a great testimony of the fact that they actually went

2002
01:41:01,080 --> 01:41:03,200
Speaker 2: through it, because a lot of times like this is

2003
01:41:03,240 --> 01:41:05,240
Speaker 2: showing us that we don't need to be together period,

2004
01:41:05,439 --> 01:41:07,240
Speaker 2: and then they'll tap out and just end. But the

2005
01:41:07,240 --> 01:41:09,680
Speaker 2: fact that they coming through another time, I'm telling you

2006
01:41:09,800 --> 01:41:12,280
Speaker 2: that those couples are going to have a powerful testimony

2007
01:41:12,479 --> 01:41:14,400
Speaker 2: because they're going to be able to share that they

2008
01:41:14,479 --> 01:41:16,640
Speaker 2: went through it both times and what they've learned the

2009
01:41:16,680 --> 01:41:20,160
Speaker 2: second time around. And so again, shout out to the

2010
01:41:20,240 --> 01:41:25,080
Speaker 2: whole ministry for building strong marriages, not just getting people married,

2011
01:41:25,280 --> 01:41:29,320
Speaker 2: but providing tools so that they can have lasting marriages. Listen, man,

2012
01:41:29,439 --> 01:41:31,519
Speaker 2: thank y'all so much for tuning in to the dear future.

2013
01:41:31,520 --> 01:41:36,080
Speaker 2: WIFEI podcast. This was a powerful, powerful episode, y'all know.

2014
01:41:36,080 --> 01:41:38,719
Speaker 2: At the beginning of this year, I said that my goal,

2015
01:41:38,880 --> 01:41:41,599
Speaker 2: my mission, my band aid is to increase marriage race

2016
01:41:41,880 --> 01:41:45,639
Speaker 2: in the Black community and decrease divorced statistics while providing

2017
01:41:45,680 --> 01:41:49,680
Speaker 2: tools so that we can have stronger, healthier marriages. And

2018
01:41:50,120 --> 01:41:54,000
Speaker 2: Concord Church is leading the charge in that. So thank y'all.

2019
01:41:54,040 --> 01:41:57,439
Speaker 2: Make sure that y'all follow Concord Church, make sure that

2020
01:41:57,520 --> 01:41:59,519
Speaker 2: y'all support the ministry. There will be a link in

2021
01:41:59,560 --> 01:42:03,840
Speaker 2: the discret And they also have a powerful podcast. Yourself

2022
01:42:03,880 --> 01:42:05,400
Speaker 2: talk about y'all's podcast.

2023
01:42:05,080 --> 01:42:07,280
Speaker 1: And so yeah, so we got a we got a

2024
01:42:07,280 --> 01:42:10,440
Speaker 1: book called Made to Last that's available on our all platforms.

2025
01:42:10,720 --> 01:42:12,960
Speaker 1: You can follow myself and my wife. And then we

2026
01:42:13,040 --> 01:42:16,680
Speaker 1: also have a podcast that's called the Whole Podcast to

2027
01:42:16,720 --> 01:42:19,479
Speaker 1: It Right and Made. And we have a conference that

2028
01:42:19,520 --> 01:42:21,240
Speaker 1: will be coming next year called Mad the Left.

2029
01:42:21,240 --> 01:42:21,800
Speaker 2: We've been on the.

2030
01:42:21,760 --> 01:42:24,880
Speaker 1: Tour this fall going to several churches across the city

2031
01:42:24,960 --> 01:42:28,720
Speaker 1: teaching marriage conferences. So we we love pouring in the couples.

2032
01:42:29,000 --> 01:42:31,240
Speaker 1: We've made a lot of mistakes, We've learned a whole

2033
01:42:31,280 --> 01:42:36,040
Speaker 1: lot of lessons and so and so and so it

2034
01:42:36,160 --> 01:42:38,600
Speaker 1: uh it brings us a lot of joy to be

2035
01:42:38,640 --> 01:42:40,360
Speaker 1: able to pour and invest in couse, we'll be in

2036
01:42:40,479 --> 01:42:44,160
Speaker 1: Houston and Tulsa. We just left Saint Louis, and so

2037
01:42:44,439 --> 01:42:47,240
Speaker 1: we just enjoy pouring in the couples, investing in them

2038
01:42:47,600 --> 01:42:49,599
Speaker 1: and help them to have the tools that they need,

2039
01:42:49,880 --> 01:42:51,759
Speaker 1: because all of us needed. I mean, we've been married

2040
01:42:51,800 --> 01:42:54,719
Speaker 1: twenty seven years now, and so we're still learning.

2041
01:42:54,800 --> 01:42:55,719
Speaker 2: We're in a new season.

2042
01:42:55,800 --> 01:42:58,439
Speaker 1: Or oldest is about to graduate, so we're learning how

2043
01:42:58,439 --> 01:42:59,160
Speaker 1: to navigate.

2044
01:42:59,280 --> 01:43:01,719
Speaker 2: She has graduate that so our oldest is about our son.

2045
01:43:01,800 --> 01:43:03,880
Speaker 15: Baby, you said our oldest is about to graduate.

2046
01:43:04,080 --> 01:43:06,200
Speaker 1: I'm in our youngest. So we're gonna have a We're

2047
01:43:06,200 --> 01:43:08,479
Speaker 1: gonna have a tension right here. There's some tension rights everything.

2048
01:43:09,680 --> 01:43:10,840
Speaker 2: I know how my kid is.

2049
01:43:11,800 --> 01:43:15,599
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, well anyway, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Wait,

2050
01:43:15,680 --> 01:43:17,599
Speaker 1: we're still trying to figure this thing out.

2051
01:43:17,800 --> 01:43:19,960
Speaker 2: But uh, but yes, we learn from each other. We

2052
01:43:20,200 --> 01:43:20,800
Speaker 2: never arrived.

2053
01:43:20,800 --> 01:43:23,759
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing about couples, right, You never land,

2054
01:43:23,880 --> 01:43:26,960
Speaker 1: but you're always growing together so that you can be

2055
01:43:27,080 --> 01:43:29,880
Speaker 1: healthy in every season of your relationship. So yeah, we

2056
01:43:29,920 --> 01:43:33,440
Speaker 1: made the last made the last live as our Instagram

2057
01:43:33,760 --> 01:43:34,879
Speaker 1: and as well as our website.

2058
01:43:34,960 --> 01:43:38,360
Speaker 2: Y'all know when the Mayor's conference is gonna be next year, It'll.

2059
01:43:38,160 --> 01:43:41,439
Speaker 1: Be the last weekend of August, last week of August,

2060
01:43:41,479 --> 01:43:43,439
Speaker 1: right here in Dallas, Texas at Concord Church.

2061
01:43:43,640 --> 01:43:45,639
Speaker 2: And so they can find out about all this. How

2062
01:43:45,640 --> 01:43:46,439
Speaker 2: can they steal breast?

2063
01:43:46,600 --> 01:43:49,559
Speaker 1: They can stay at breast at Brian Carter uh dot

2064
01:43:49,800 --> 01:43:51,639
Speaker 1: dot com. They can go there and get the information

2065
01:43:51,680 --> 01:43:54,880
Speaker 1: as well, but primarily our instagram made the last live.

2066
01:43:55,160 --> 01:43:57,040
Speaker 2: That's where they can get the information. How old are

2067
01:43:57,080 --> 01:44:01,160
Speaker 2: y'all thirty and they've been married? How mucht as long

2068
01:44:01,160 --> 01:44:06,640
Speaker 2: as y'all be on this earthwa thirty? A couple of

2069
01:44:06,640 --> 01:44:10,360
Speaker 2: weeks ago, way they said twenty seven? I said about

2070
01:44:10,360 --> 01:44:13,920
Speaker 2: around y'all age, it's been mayors as long as you've

2071
01:44:13,920 --> 01:44:20,759
Speaker 2: been living. Listen, y'all give it for this dynamic panel.

2072
01:44:20,880 --> 01:44:23,720
Speaker 2: Thank y'all so much for having me here. Thank y'all

2073
01:44:23,760 --> 01:44:26,519
Speaker 2: for being transparent and vulnerable. Y'all give it up from y'all.

2074
01:44:27,400 --> 01:44:29,479
Speaker 2: Stay tuned to the end for a letter to my

2075
01:44:29,560 --> 01:44:39,680
Speaker 2: future wife. You writing these love letters. Ladarium thrust it

2076
01:44:39,800 --> 01:44:44,080
Speaker 2: suddenly into child protective services. In twenty fifteen, my nephew

2077
01:44:44,640 --> 01:44:49,080
Speaker 2: black a boy the likelihood have been adopted outside of kinship.

2078
01:44:49,840 --> 01:44:55,080
Speaker 2: Slim to none. Rmione, sixteen years old, black, a boy

2079
01:44:55,520 --> 01:44:58,080
Speaker 2: with five years in the foster care system before I

2080
01:44:58,120 --> 01:45:02,920
Speaker 2: even knew his name. Likelihood have ever been adopted? Yep,

2081
01:45:02,960 --> 01:45:07,800
Speaker 2: you guessed it. Slim to none. While Laderian and our

2082
01:45:07,880 --> 01:45:10,320
Speaker 2: money were trying to survive and barely thrive in an

2083
01:45:10,360 --> 01:45:13,920
Speaker 2: overpopulated and underfunded Falseter care system, I was living my

2084
01:45:13,960 --> 01:45:17,320
Speaker 2: own life, doing well professionally, having been a single father

2085
01:45:17,400 --> 01:45:19,400
Speaker 2: with a daughter who at that point was doing well

2086
01:45:19,439 --> 01:45:21,880
Speaker 2: in college. It was my time to live my life

2087
01:45:21,960 --> 01:45:29,240
Speaker 2: right wrong. I felt unsettled, tireless, agitated. There are just

2088
01:45:29,320 --> 01:45:33,760
Speaker 2: too many of our Black children stuck in ambiguity and

2089
01:45:33,800 --> 01:45:37,360
Speaker 2: in the limbo of the Falter care system. In twenty seventeen,

2090
01:45:37,400 --> 01:45:41,479
Speaker 2: I legally adopted my nephew Ladarian. Fast forward to twenty nineteen.

2091
01:45:41,479 --> 01:45:43,680
Speaker 2: I had no ties to this other young king, but

2092
01:45:43,720 --> 01:45:47,440
Speaker 2: I felt God instructed me to adopt them. Also. In all, Babe,

2093
01:45:47,760 --> 01:45:50,799
Speaker 2: starting over with parenting should have been enough. Right, working

2094
01:45:50,800 --> 01:45:53,479
Speaker 2: with various foster care and adoption agencies to help bring

2095
01:45:53,520 --> 01:45:56,759
Speaker 2: awareness to the countless young Black kings and the Falter

2096
01:45:56,800 --> 01:46:01,000
Speaker 2: care system should have decreased my agitation. Right, Joining the

2097
01:46:01,000 --> 01:46:04,080
Speaker 2: board of directors of Advantage of Adoption and organization that

2098
01:46:04,120 --> 01:46:07,439
Speaker 2: helps find permanent adoptive homes for children in falsil care

2099
01:46:07,600 --> 01:46:11,519
Speaker 2: should have led to some type of resolve. Right, No,

2100
01:46:11,560 --> 01:46:14,479
Speaker 2: not at all. None of it felt like I had

2101
01:46:14,560 --> 01:46:19,120
Speaker 2: done enough. I now realized that every one of those

2102
01:46:19,200 --> 01:46:23,040
Speaker 2: experiences was land the fundamental foundation for my life's mission.

2103
01:46:23,960 --> 01:46:28,040
Speaker 2: Kingdom Royal. Kingdom Royal would be a luxury, state of

2104
01:46:28,040 --> 01:46:31,439
Speaker 2: the art home for foster boys. Our first location will

2105
01:46:31,479 --> 01:46:34,240
Speaker 2: be in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex. We will utilize

2106
01:46:34,240 --> 01:46:38,160
Speaker 2: the whole person approach that instills identity, empowers them to

2107
01:46:38,240 --> 01:46:42,240
Speaker 2: advocate for themselves, and enlightens them regarding new perspectives and

2108
01:46:42,400 --> 01:46:47,639
Speaker 2: limitless options that they thought were impossible. Though the young

2109
01:46:47,680 --> 01:46:49,920
Speaker 2: Kings will attend the local public schools that are in

2110
01:46:50,200 --> 01:46:54,200
Speaker 2: proximity to Kingdom Royal. Our at home curriculum will broaden

2111
01:46:54,280 --> 01:46:58,519
Speaker 2: their worldview through participating in the arts, attending various cultural events,

2112
01:46:58,680 --> 01:47:03,080
Speaker 2: learning about and engage and multifaceted discussions about current events

2113
01:47:03,160 --> 01:47:08,040
Speaker 2: and even relevant historical contexts. Introducing them to gardening and landscaping,

2114
01:47:08,120 --> 01:47:11,400
Speaker 2: and even caring for our animals on our form and

2115
01:47:11,479 --> 01:47:15,839
Speaker 2: on site stables. We just launched our startup capital campaign

2116
01:47:16,120 --> 01:47:18,280
Speaker 2: with the goal of raising two point eight million dollars.

2117
01:47:18,320 --> 01:47:21,679
Speaker 2: Now why two point eight million dollars? Well, In twenty seventeen,

2118
01:47:21,720 --> 01:47:24,439
Speaker 2: I created a web series in which I performed random

2119
01:47:24,439 --> 01:47:27,600
Speaker 2: acts of kindness for targeting the homeless community. One of

2120
01:47:27,600 --> 01:47:30,160
Speaker 2: the most notable successes was that one of the videos

2121
01:47:30,200 --> 01:47:35,479
Speaker 2: went viral, garnering twenty eight million views. However, one of

2122
01:47:35,520 --> 01:47:37,960
Speaker 2: my biggest regrets is that I didn't raise a single

2123
01:47:38,040 --> 01:47:41,280
Speaker 2: dollar to help in implementing a more sustainable plan for

2124
01:47:41,320 --> 01:47:45,960
Speaker 2: the homeless community. So throughout the years, with much remorse,

2125
01:47:46,360 --> 01:47:49,280
Speaker 2: I reflect that I'm not maximizing that moment. I knew

2126
01:47:49,439 --> 01:47:52,240
Speaker 2: if at that time just ten percent of the viewers

2127
01:47:52,280 --> 01:47:55,640
Speaker 2: donated one dollar, we would have raised at least two

2128
01:47:55,680 --> 01:47:59,080
Speaker 2: point eight million dollars that could have really established long

2129
01:47:59,160 --> 01:48:02,320
Speaker 2: term support for the homeless community, or at least started

2130
01:48:02,360 --> 01:48:06,280
Speaker 2: a long term initiative to do so. This is my

2131
01:48:06,400 --> 01:48:10,479
Speaker 2: do over, this is our new beginning. Together, we can

2132
01:48:10,560 --> 01:48:14,480
Speaker 2: attack this at the root by specifically helping our homeless

2133
01:48:14,520 --> 01:48:19,120
Speaker 2: Black boys, who are already disproportionately represented in the American

2134
01:48:19,160 --> 01:48:23,120
Speaker 2: fossil care system. I'm a terisar Wickfield. I've been nominated

2135
01:48:23,160 --> 01:48:26,200
Speaker 2: for three regional Emmys documenting my work with the homeless

2136
01:48:26,320 --> 01:48:30,240
Speaker 2: as well as my personal adoption journey. Despite those accolades,

2137
01:48:30,840 --> 01:48:35,120
Speaker 2: the greatest award for me is truly providing the infrastructure

2138
01:48:35,320 --> 01:48:39,880
Speaker 2: for a transformed life. Visit Kingdomroyal dot com for more

2139
01:48:39,920 --> 01:48:51,519
Speaker 2: details Crown of King and make a donation today. Listen.

2140
01:48:51,760 --> 01:48:55,280
Speaker 2: I hope y'all enjoyed. This episode is a special episode. Hey,

2141
01:48:55,360 --> 01:48:59,000
Speaker 2: make sure that y'all go and pre order the book

2142
01:48:59,040 --> 01:49:02,520
Speaker 2: Student of Love. The book is going to be released

2143
01:49:03,040 --> 01:49:06,320
Speaker 2: January the thirteenth, but pre orders are so important if

2144
01:49:06,320 --> 01:49:08,880
Speaker 2: you're really looking to learn to become a student so

2145
01:49:08,920 --> 01:49:11,320
Speaker 2: that we can do relationships better. So and I mean

2146
01:49:11,360 --> 01:49:14,519
Speaker 2: all type of relationships, not just romantic relationships, but those

2147
01:49:14,560 --> 01:49:17,759
Speaker 2: relationships with our family members, the relationships with our kids,

2148
01:49:18,040 --> 01:49:22,000
Speaker 2: relationships with our coworkers. Student of Love will get you there.

2149
01:49:22,160 --> 01:49:25,479
Speaker 2: It's a powerful, powerful read. Trust me. Well, here's my

2150
01:49:25,520 --> 01:49:27,240
Speaker 2: favorite part of the podcast where I speak to my

2151
01:49:27,280 --> 01:49:32,800
Speaker 2: future wifey. Dear future wifey, Commitment is strong, but covenant

2152
01:49:33,000 --> 01:49:37,040
Speaker 2: is sacred. Commitment says I choose you until I change

2153
01:49:37,040 --> 01:49:41,000
Speaker 2: my mind. Covenant says I choose you because God joined us,

2154
01:49:41,040 --> 01:49:45,120
Speaker 2: and nothing can sever what he sealed. Commitment is built

2155
01:49:45,120 --> 01:49:49,679
Speaker 2: on feelings, on passion, convenience, and timing. It thrives when

2156
01:49:49,680 --> 01:49:56,200
Speaker 2: the sun is shining, but often falters when storms arrive. Covenant, however,

2157
01:49:56,280 --> 01:49:59,760
Speaker 2: it's built on valve. It is an alter where two

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01:49:59,840 --> 01:50:02,760
Speaker 2: life become one, not because they merely decided to move

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01:50:02,800 --> 01:50:06,559
Speaker 2: in together, but because Heaven or witness when they spoke

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01:50:07,120 --> 01:50:10,880
Speaker 2: I do. When couples live together before mayors, they taste

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01:50:10,880 --> 01:50:15,000
Speaker 2: the fruit of partnership without the soil of promise. But

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01:50:15,120 --> 01:50:17,880
Speaker 2: in the grand wedding at Concord Church, these couples stepped

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01:50:17,880 --> 01:50:22,759
Speaker 2: from commitment into covenant. They cross the invisible line between

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01:50:22,840 --> 01:50:26,679
Speaker 2: us and forever us. Covenant doesn't just bind two people,

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01:50:26,760 --> 01:50:32,240
Speaker 2: it binds two destinies. It's not about cohabitation, It's about consecration.

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01:50:32,880 --> 01:50:37,000
Speaker 2: Commitment is a contract between two parties. Covenant is a

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01:50:37,120 --> 01:50:40,240
Speaker 2: union with God as a third strand that keeps us

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01:50:40,360 --> 01:50:44,000
Speaker 2: from unraveling. So do you, my future wife. I don't

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01:50:44,000 --> 01:50:47,200
Speaker 2: want to just commit to you. I want to have

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01:50:47,280 --> 01:50:49,720
Speaker 2: a covenant with you. I don't want my love to

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01:50:49,760 --> 01:50:53,000
Speaker 2: be held together by moods or circumstances, but by the

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01:50:53,040 --> 01:50:56,320
Speaker 2: eternal glue of God's design. When we stand before Him,

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01:50:56,640 --> 01:51:00,000
Speaker 2: our families, and our community. I want Heaven to red

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01:51:00,320 --> 01:51:03,240
Speaker 2: that we didn't just choose each other. We entered into

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01:51:03,320 --> 01:51:07,720
Speaker 2: covenant where love is no longer temporary but timeless. Your

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01:51:07,760 --> 01:51:10,880
Speaker 2: future Hugging, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the

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01:51:10,920 --> 01:51:16,360
Speaker 2: Dear Future WIFEI podcast. Remember be lit, live intentionally and transparently,

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01:51:16,840 --> 01:51:19,720
Speaker 2: and don't stop loving. Make sure to subscribe to our

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01:51:19,720 --> 01:51:23,040
Speaker 2: Dear Future Wife and YouTube channel. We're available on Apple Podcasts,

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01:51:23,120 --> 01:51:26,839
Speaker 2: Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Stitcher. Be welcome your support. Simply

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01:51:26,880 --> 01:51:28,759
Speaker 2: share our podcasts with your friends and family.