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Speaker 1: The Whole Aching Big Show with Jason, Mike and Keyzy.

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Speaker 1: Tune in week days at four on Radio hod IK

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Speaker 1: Lincoln Park.

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Speaker 2: There on the Radio Honarchy Big Show this Monday afternoon.

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Speaker 3: The time is twenty six minutes past four o'clock.

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Speaker 2: We're talking about horrendous things to do when you hungover, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and not that it was horrendous that you went to

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Speaker 2: watch your daughter play do ballet.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 4: I went to my daughter, six year old daughter's ballet

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Speaker 4: recital yesterday. It's a massive school that did great work,

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Speaker 4: but it doesn't feel like the best thing you could

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Speaker 4: be doing with your time when you're massively hungover, going

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Speaker 4: to a two and a half hour long show and

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Speaker 4: pretty brutal heat yesterday here in Auckland.

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Speaker 2: You just reminded me too, actually, Mogi of another thing

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Speaker 2: that was a nightmare back in the day for me

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Speaker 2: was the old sports tawneys.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So it would be an all day a fear, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and so you'd have to go. I mean, I loved

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Speaker 2: watching my girls play sport, genuinely, But if you're pretty

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Speaker 2: hungover and she's pissing down all day and you're standing

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Speaker 2: on the sidelines just going ah.

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Speaker 4: Anything a couch man. Yeah, yes, interested, like you said

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Speaker 4: the should we go under the beach for an ice cream?

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Speaker 4: It's absolutely not absolutely.

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Speaker 5: Someone here says text through on three four out three

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Speaker 5: three four eight three watching junior nitball in the rain

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Speaker 5: as a ball lake. Yes, I think I mean ball lake. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: but they agree with you, Jose.

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Speaker 2: A lot of my girls playing netball, so I did

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Speaker 2: a lot of that. I basically stayed in the car

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Speaker 2: with my spectacles, you know, with machades on, and just

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Speaker 2: observed it from there.

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Speaker 5: My newspaper, heaps of ticks coming in on three through.

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Speaker 5: The worst thing UK have done whilst hungover. Someone here

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Speaker 5: jack hammering, that would be pretty tough, Okada, fellows. I

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Speaker 5: went to my mate's funeral hungover. A bunch of us

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Speaker 5: caught up the night before. I didn't shot the bed

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Speaker 5: in the morning of the funeral.

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Speaker 4: Not good, although could be worse.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because it was. Yes, but that is pretty Ballet

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Speaker 5: show Sunday morning, three hours long. Little cute, little kids

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Speaker 5: are cute, but this was an adult first time ballet

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Speaker 5: class that they were watching. It goes on to start,

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Speaker 5: I want to see your mum looking like a sausage

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Speaker 5: and a leotard on stage under mistletoe.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 5: Worst thing was my mate's daughter's first birthday a couple

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Speaker 5: of years ago. Butterfly Creek, which is up here in Auckland.

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Speaker 5: I know the place is almost died waiting for them

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Speaker 5: to feed the alligators. Felt like I was going to faint,

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Speaker 5: but there were kids and alligators everywhere. So it's just

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Speaker 5: it's not good, is it.

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Speaker 2: I told you the other day he felt. I was

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Speaker 2: on the podcast Outra. My wife booked us tickets to

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Speaker 2: a choir. I wasn't hungover or anything, but it was

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Speaker 2: two hours long and it was an old a choir.

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Speaker 4: Yes of enthusiasts, Yeah, that's right, enthusias, plenty of enthusiasts.

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Speaker 2: And as soon as the first note hit the air,

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Speaker 2: I went, We've got.

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Speaker 5: Lyle from Auckland on the line. Gooday, Lyle, Yeah, good, Hey,

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Speaker 5: what's the worst thing you've done?

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Speaker 2: Well?

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Speaker 4: Hungover?

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Speaker 6: Well, back in the day when I was first going

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Speaker 6: out with the missus, she's a scientist, and we went

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Speaker 6: to a native bird release and they fenced predator free

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Speaker 6: and it happened to be on a Sunday morning, right.

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Speaker 5: Hangover, and they were what were they doing? They were releasing.

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Speaker 6: Birds, releasing endangered bird.

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Speaker 5: Right, okay, and you're hungover doing that? Yeah that sounds bloody.

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Speaker 6: So you know it was a windy road there. That

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Speaker 6: was tough. Luckily she picked me up. Yeah, I do remember.

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Speaker 6: The bird was a stitch bird. I think, tiniest bird

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Speaker 6: you've ever seen. So when when all the kids lined up,

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Speaker 6: they all opened the box, they were so fast you

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Speaker 6: didn't even see them come out. And then you know,

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Speaker 6: the paper were there and everything, and I'm like, is that?

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Speaker 6: And then a walk and I had to sit under

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Speaker 6: a tree for a while.

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, good on your law. That's an excellent story mate.

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Speaker 5: You hold the line old pugs on a hook. You

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Speaker 5: up for something good?

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Speaker 2: What about you, Kezy, because I mean, I know you

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Speaker 2: don't have kids and stuff, but yeah.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to should.

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Speaker 3: I what you announce that?

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Speaker 4: I'm all right. I promised I wouldn't say that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, no, no, stop announcing that I'm having kids.

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Speaker 4: We're not. You're announcing. If there's one thing I know,

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Speaker 4: if anybody is going to announce the fact that your

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Speaker 4: wife is pregnant, it's going to be you.

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Speaker 3: Yes, totally, I'm not going to do it.

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Speaker 2: But you've been hungover a few times in your life, keasy,

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Speaker 2: what's the worst thing you have had to do?

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Speaker 1: Probably this show right now, The Hidarchy Big Show week

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Speaker 1: days from four on Radio Hdarky.

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Speaker 2: Indeed, David Bewie there on the radio Holdarky Big Show

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Speaker 2: this Tuesday afternoon of time, twenty three minutes past five o'clock.

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Speaker 4: Fellas, I'm a little bit worried that I'm getting old. Okay,

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Speaker 4: I've had a couple of things going on lately, you know. Well,

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Speaker 4: one of them is that I keep losing everything. Old

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Speaker 4: old Foggy Moggie is losing his car keys, He's losing

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Speaker 4: his wallet, his sunglasses and pretty much everything. Yes, everyone

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Speaker 4: carry it around with me. I can lose it. I

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Speaker 4: haven't lost my balls yet, no marbles? Oh yeah no, what.

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Speaker 3: Well, you need a fanny pack?

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Speaker 4: Cheers, cheers? Well, Christmas is coming, So I kept that

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Speaker 4: in mine.

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Speaker 5: Brother. That's actually a really good idea. If you just

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Speaker 5: had a fanny pack, yes, with all that stuff in it, Yes,

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Speaker 5: could be a you know.

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Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Happy happy holiday.

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Speaker 4: So old Mogi came out. This is exciting. Hey, guys,

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Speaker 4: I went to a cafeteria the other day, a cafe

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Speaker 4: they call them here in Auckland. And as further evidence

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Speaker 4: that I'm getting old, I was speaking to the waitress

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Speaker 4: there and a dad joke formed in my mind, clear

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Speaker 4: as day, right in front of me, in my mind's eye. Okay,

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Speaker 4: not visible to anybody else right now.

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Speaker 3: I saw it.

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Speaker 4: I read it, and I went in my head. I

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Speaker 4: was like, now, I'm not saying that. She left the

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Speaker 4: waitress and then I told my wife. I said, she

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Speaker 4: so that was close. I nearly said a dad's joke.

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Speaker 4: She said, what was a dad's joke? And I told

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Speaker 4: her what it was, and she says, oh yeah, Jesus,

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Speaker 4: oh god, that's not good. Now I'm assuming that time

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Speaker 4: is going to come where I don't think that's not

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Speaker 4: that's not a go. I'm just going to start saying

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Speaker 4: it as far it out. Is that how it worked

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Speaker 4: for you, James, because obviously you've got four daughters.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, look, they're just contant. That don't stop now pour

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Speaker 3: out of me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So if I was to say to you, Dad, I'm hungry,

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Speaker 5: what would you say.

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Speaker 3: Go and get a job and pay for your own food?

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Speaker 3: You sponge?

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Speaker 5: Right, I thought you were said, high hungry. I'm dead?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Is that not?

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Speaker 4: That's another word?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's yeah, okay, cool? Right, So how do you

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Speaker 5: want to tell us what the dad joke was?

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Speaker 4: Well, I think context is a key, because I thought

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Speaker 4: my wife was bloody harsh on me. Actually I could

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Speaker 4: see her falling even further out of love with me

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Speaker 4: as I described it. But I said to her, in

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Speaker 4: my defense, I didn't say it. I only thought it.

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Speaker 4: I recognized that it was a terrible joke, and I

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Speaker 4: didn't say it. Surely I get some respect for that.

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Speaker 4: She said, no, you don't, right, right, yeah, So can

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Speaker 4: we can we play this out? Keysy? Is it or?

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Speaker 3: Good? Man?

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Speaker 4: I want you to? Can you be the waitress? Okay, okay,

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Speaker 4: all right? The waitress? Yeah she was a waitress. Okay,

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Speaker 4: yeah you're a waitress. Yeah, you're the waitress. And I'm

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Speaker 4: just sitting down at the table. And it's me and

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Speaker 4: my daughter, Mogi Minogui, who's six years old, and then

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Speaker 4: my and my wife as well, whose age doesn't matter, Keysy,

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Speaker 4: it's none of your business, all.

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Speaker 5: Right, who's playing? So is Jase playing someone? Jase, You're

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Speaker 5: gonna be my missus if you want?

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Speaker 4: Men? Oh, yeah, I'll just I'll just be sitting here. Okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 4: here we go.

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Speaker 5: Hi there, Hi, How are you good? Thanks? Would you

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Speaker 5: guys like something to drink to start?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 4: Yes, please? I think I'm going to hear. I have

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Speaker 4: an especially with some hot water on the side, and

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Speaker 4: I'll get a fluffy for my from a little mate

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Speaker 4: over here.

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Speaker 3: And I'll have an oat flat white. Thank you.

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Speaker 5: Okay, no problem, man. Would you guys like some coloring

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Speaker 5: pencils as well? Oh?

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Speaker 4: Yes please? And can I have some for my for

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Speaker 4: my daughter as well? So that was the dad joke.

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Speaker 4: So that was a dad joke.

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Speaker 5: I thought you were gonna say not for me like

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Speaker 5: that would to be fair that it was the funnier

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Speaker 5: dad joke that I thought.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not too bad. It's too bad.

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Speaker 4: It felt shocking because my wife's talking divorce. Yeah, yeah right,

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Speaker 4: I mean it's not great.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to I think, yeah, I just don't

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Speaker 2: need to be too hard on yourself.

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Speaker 3: I mean it's a shocker, yeah right.

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Speaker 4: Because the other problem as well is what the waitress

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Speaker 4: early twenties. Now, if I'm saying that joke to somebody

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Speaker 4: who's older, sort of my age. It's sort of like

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Speaker 4: he gives you know, you're just an idiot anyway. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but as just sort of young people think you're suck anyway.

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Speaker 4: So coming in with a joke like that is just

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Speaker 4: going to be you know, you're gonna get hit with

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Speaker 4: some real fake laughter.

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Speaker 5: Good one, Mogi.

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Speaker 1: I would actually be a show with Jason, Mike and

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Speaker 1: keysy tune in week days and four on Radio Hodarkey.

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Speaker 2: Off spring there on the radio hold Archy Big Show

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Speaker 2: this Friday afternoon.

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Speaker 5: Day fellas, you might notice pug Sons.

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Speaker 4: In the room.

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Speaker 5: Yes, hello, hey you pie guys. Pugs, Hey, first time

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Speaker 5: in the new studio guys. Yeah, oh man, so good.

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Speaker 4: That's a different thing.

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Speaker 3: Not loving your cap.

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Speaker 7: Okay, Pugs, Not loving your turkeys Pugs.

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Speaker 5: Yeah turkey shit. No, seriously though, Pugs. I've got a

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Speaker 5: bone pit with you, man, What I got a bone

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Speaker 5: a pit? You mentioned something yesterday which I thought was disgusting.

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Speaker 5: What you said that you went for a run, which

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Speaker 5: is great, but you said that you needed to do

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Speaker 5: wheeze and that your pants were too tight, and so

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Speaker 5: instead of undoing your pants, you knelt down and pulled

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Speaker 5: your pant legs sideways and peede out the side of

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Speaker 5: your shorts. What say you?

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Speaker 7: I have a few corrections to make their keysy. Right first,

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Speaker 7: before I get to those, thank you for your compliment

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Speaker 7: on my running.

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Speaker 5: Okay, really appreciated running is great. Yeah, i'd say your

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Speaker 5: running was great, but yes, go four k. Well, I

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Speaker 5: appreciate it was really hard. Secondly, there was no kneeling.

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Speaker 4: Involved because it's a Jerry Collins.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the Jerry Collins before the during the hucker,

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Speaker 5: not just after the hukker.

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Speaker 4: Right near on the field and get your piece out

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Speaker 4: and then urinate on what was the cake?

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Speaker 5: T believe was the ca yea on National Teller. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: really really.

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Speaker 4: Loved that from him.

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Speaker 5: Uh, there was no kneeling.

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Speaker 7: It was simply pull the pant the short leg as

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Speaker 7: far across as was appropriate to avoid any splashing.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, And the reason they weren't too tight the waistband

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Speaker 7: was too tight.

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Speaker 4: Because I was about to go for a running.

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Speaker 7: They got them the perfect amount of tightness that they

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Speaker 7: wouldn't do any falling while I was running. So the

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Speaker 7: drawstring was really tight and I couldn't be bothered getting

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Speaker 7: them back to that perfect into a toilet.

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Speaker 5: Yes, oh right, I thought you.

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Speaker 7: Sorry, Chris, if I can say in the privacy of

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Speaker 7: my own home, if that's okay with you.

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Speaker 4: I was wondering. I want you to know that. And

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Speaker 4: I can't speak for you, Jos, but I knew nothing

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Speaker 4: about this bone to pick, and I don't support it.

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Speaker 2: The same thing when I'm wearing jeans.

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Speaker 4: Chase Jace.

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Speaker 5: No one believes that your peace all the way down

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Speaker 5: to the bottom of your bone.

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Speaker 3: De peck with me this bullshit.

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Speaker 4: I got a bone a bit.

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Speaker 2: I'm with Moggie on this surprise and the fact that

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Speaker 2: you had a bone depick without informing Moggie. And I

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Speaker 2: want you because I would never have allowed your bone

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Speaker 2: to be picked. If that's what.

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Speaker 5: Who made you the picking bone police, the people that

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Speaker 5: have to approve every bone that's getting picked.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to say that I often do that as well.

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Speaker 3: Pat.

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Speaker 4: So you reach down your under hook. It's a classic

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Speaker 4: under hook. You get a bit of a crab claw

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Speaker 4: going on, you pull it over to the side there

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Speaker 4: after the races, and then just let it snap back

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Speaker 4: into position. If you haven't urinated like that, Kisa, you

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Speaker 4: haven't lived man. It's just another sign to me that

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Speaker 4: you're living two shelters a light.

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Speaker 3: I agree.

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Speaker 2: If now, can I tell you something that you probably

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Speaker 2: you guys will be a little bit grossed out by this, maybe,

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Speaker 2: but often when I'm walking to the car with your Keysy,

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Speaker 2: I'm just weaing as we're walking along, and she's just

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Speaker 2: going out into the gut of there.

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Speaker 5: Well, are you like sure shait redemption and you're just

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Speaker 5: emptying it out at the bottom of your trouser legs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, out of the jean legs on the way to

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Speaker 2: the car, because I because you know what happens.

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Speaker 3: You need to go to the toilet and it takes.

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Speaker 2: Agey, You've got the staccato wheeze going, So I've.

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Speaker 5: Got staccato wheeze now right. So I was wondering why

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Speaker 5: wherever we went you lift a snail trail. It's disgusting.

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Speaker 5: That explains the smell too. Sorry for the bone to

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Speaker 5: pick pugs. It seems I was wrong.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, The Hiarchy Big Show was Jason, Mike and Kezy

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Speaker 1: tune in on Radio.

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Speaker 2: Hoki smashing pumpkins. There on the Radio Hodoki Big Show.

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Speaker 2: There's glorious now Thursday.

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Speaker 4: Evening, fellas, man, have I got a story for you?

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Speaker 3: Great stuff.

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Speaker 4: This music appropriate? Maybe the sexy music actually.

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Speaker 5: Okay, I can't do man.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, last night I had, for the very first

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Speaker 4: time in my life, a shower.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, now you.

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Speaker 5: Too, the first shower.

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Speaker 4: Let me finish.

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Speaker 5: Sorry, did I interrupt you?

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Speaker 4: Where I didn't wet my hair? What? I can't remember.

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Speaker 4: I don't think i've ever. I don't think i've ever

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Speaker 4: in my life had a shower and not put my

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Speaker 4: head underneath the knows it a force? It's that head?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 4: And I said to my wife, I think it's the

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Speaker 4: first time because I just couldn't be by the drug,

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Speaker 4: because I was literally just getting into bed straight afterwards.

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Speaker 4: And I thought there's no real point because I had

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Speaker 4: the case of the swamp ass.

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Speaker 3: Because he was cycling.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't. But it was quite bad. Do you know

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Speaker 4: how bad the swamp? And this is? I guess this

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Speaker 4: is a bit of a sidebar here. We'll come back

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Speaker 4: to the chat about the heres keeezy, all right. It

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Speaker 4: was so bad that I actually went to bed, and

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Speaker 4: then I was lying in bed, I was like, you

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Speaker 4: know what, I've got every shower.

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Speaker 5: So should I keep the sexy music on?

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Speaker 4: Swamp?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? I'm finding this real hot.

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Speaker 5: Well him having swamp pass.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well the bit where I cleaned it out, that was.

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Speaker 3: I cleaned it out, opened some SuDS there.

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Speaker 4: But I was wondering with you guys, when it comes

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Speaker 4: to have a shower, do you always have swamp ass? Sorry, no,

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Speaker 4: you're here, I'm always you here.

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Speaker 3: I don't consider that I've had a shower unless I

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Speaker 3: do so, thank you.

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Speaker 5: Right, Okay, So that's how you define having a shower.

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Speaker 3: I can't.

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Speaker 2: I can't conceive of having a sho without whipping right here.

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Speaker 3: But you were saying, we're a shower cap.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes, like if I've done my hair real nice, one.

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Speaker 3: Of those sort of puffy putting sort of things on your.

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Speaker 5: Hair, Yeah, puffy pudding put that on my hair there.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes I've done my hair real nice and I've got

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Speaker 5: swamp pass.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Gross.

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Speaker 4: You put a cap over your swamp ass just so

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Speaker 4: it doesn't get washed out, to preserve it. You don't

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Speaker 4: want to ruin it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes like a puffy pudding swamps.

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Speaker 2: I don't get swamp passed because the hell's swamp pass

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Speaker 2: because I wipe so thoroughly.

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Speaker 5: I still think we should get rid of the sixy music, No,

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Speaker 5: it's this is hot, is it?

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Speaker 2: I mean you you grace me out a bit, but

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Speaker 2: Mogi swamp Pass bring it.

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Speaker 1: The wold Aking Big Show with Mike and Kesy. Tune

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Speaker 1: in week days and four on Radio Hodaki