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Speaker 1: With the John and Ben Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Cheers to Dilma making the world a better tea.

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Speaker 1: To guy Head, Hello, how are you? Oh phenomenal, It's

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Speaker 1: lovely to be chatting with you.

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Speaker 3: I se have you on now. A three part series

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Speaker 3: is going to be starting next week on three as well.

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Speaker 3: Living That Die. That seemed like from the trailer nothing

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Speaker 3: off limits to what you were going through.

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Speaker 1: No, this documentary series is probably the piece of work

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Speaker 1: I've been most proud of in my life. It's been

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Speaker 1: It was very cathartic, confronting, funny to make. It's probably

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Speaker 1: the funniest cancer documentary any normal see. Because it also

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Speaker 1: tracks me writing stand up show that I performed at

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Speaker 1: the State Opera House in Wellington. It's got I go

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Speaker 1: over to Japan, which is sort of a spiritual home

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Speaker 1: to me, and I do sort of a a full

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Speaker 1: death ceremony with a Buddhist monk. It's got a bit

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Speaker 1: of everything. It's got tools for people who are dealing

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Speaker 1: with adversity, and it was it was pretty insane just

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Speaker 1: letting it all hang out and trusting Justin Hawkes who

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Speaker 1: who was directing it to make it look good.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, was there were you aware that there were cameras

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Speaker 4: following you around. All that sort of drops away pretty quickly.

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Speaker 1: It was What was quite strange is having a camera

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Speaker 1: in doing chemotherapy and scans in that, because that's such

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Speaker 1: a vulnerable time. However, in watching it back, it's so

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Speaker 1: important because I didn't even know what chemotherapy. Well I

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Speaker 1: knew what chemotherapy was, but I didn't know how it

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Speaker 1: actually happened and all that sort of carry on. So

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Speaker 1: this demystifies it for a lot of people, and I

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Speaker 1: think that'll be really helpful for humans who have loved

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Speaker 1: ones or friends who are going through chemo therapy to

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Speaker 1: actually understand what the process is.

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Speaker 4: Like, yeah, I'm sure this all this documentary will help

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Speaker 4: and shine a light in so many areas. With their

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Speaker 4: moments we are like, sorry, guys, I just need the

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Speaker 4: cameras off for this.

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Speaker 1: I made an internal decision not to do that. So

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Speaker 1: Dom Freyer who shot it, became a very close friend,

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Speaker 1: and Justin who directed it, became a very close friend.

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Speaker 1: So it was like having a little group of mates,

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Speaker 1: and they were so understanding and they knew when to

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Speaker 1: just naturally pull back a little bit and not telling

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Speaker 1: them to turn the cameras off is what actually I

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Speaker 1: think made this into such a personal and a beautiful

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Speaker 1: journey to watch. It has its own amazing sort of

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Speaker 1: style that Justin Hawks has put on it. He directed

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Speaker 1: All Paddy Gower documentary, so he really knows what he's doing.

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Speaker 1: And watching it back, I mean tugs at my heartstrings.

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Speaker 1: I mean I had a little cry. My mom's in

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Speaker 1: it quite a bit. She's been amazing support for me

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Speaker 1: and sort of part of my medical team. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm a real private person. So this was quite a

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Speaker 1: trip filming this, and it'll be quite a trip when

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Speaker 1: it sort of goes out publicly.

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Speaker 3: Well, you've already done, you know, so much, if she

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Speaker 3: had so much, I've been so brave and sharing so

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Speaker 3: much through your journey, you know, with cancer. But to

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Speaker 3: do this was that another big decision to say, hey,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to make a documentary for three parts, three

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Speaker 3: nights on TV.

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Speaker 1: It was huge because I sort of did the book thing,

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Speaker 1: and the book and the documentary are very different. But

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Speaker 1: the book felt more isolated because it's just words. It's

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Speaker 1: just you're do it on paper, you get to go

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Speaker 1: over it and over it, whereas this is just me,

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Speaker 1: me and my story, and there's a few medical elements

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Speaker 1: in and around research is going on, but it was

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Speaker 1: a huge jump. I got approached early on in my

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Speaker 1: own journey to see if I wanted to do something

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Speaker 1: like this, and the time wasn't right. And then we

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Speaker 1: filmed this over a year and I'd sort of got

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Speaker 1: to a point where I could really tell my story

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Speaker 1: properly and impart some knowledge and any wisdom I've learned

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Speaker 1: along the way. So the time was right. It was hard,

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Speaker 1: but it was so worth it.

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Speaker 2: Why do you why do you want to do this?

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Speaker 2: Because I just think if it was me, I just

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Speaker 2: want to do it privately and just be you know,

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Speaker 2: because like you say, you're so vulnerable. But why is

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Speaker 2: it important to show all this?

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Speaker 1: That's a phenomenal question, Megan, And when I am wondering why.

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Speaker 2: You have amazing that you are, but I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: it's so brave.

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Speaker 1: On top of everything you're going through. Yeah, yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: this is weird because so I cancer has robbed me

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Speaker 1: of so much work. What makes me feel vital and

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Speaker 1: a real excited human being is doing comedy, making TV,

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Speaker 1: making live stage shows. I love the process of it

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Speaker 1: all and I've lost so much work due to cancer.

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Speaker 1: I've had to turn down so many awesome projects. And

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Speaker 1: in a way, this was me being able to make

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Speaker 1: a project and create while I was doing this hard treatment.

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Speaker 1: So it became a slight distraction to the treatment, which

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Speaker 1: was so useful and I could. So it was weird

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Speaker 1: because normally when I'm on screen, when I was doing

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Speaker 1: C four shows to seven days, I'm sort of in

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Speaker 1: performance mode, and the character of Die Hendward where it

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Speaker 1: is this, I'm just Die Hendward. I'm quiet because when

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Speaker 1: you're doing chemo, you're you're not sort of in performance mode.

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Speaker 1: You're very low key. So people see a different side

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Speaker 1: of me. And I don't know exactly why I did it,

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Speaker 1: but I'm really stoked I did it.

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Speaker 3: Seems incredible. Three nights on the three Next Week three

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Speaker 3: parts series Living That Die. It is a mental health week.

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Speaker 3: This week they die and you know you've you. I

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Speaker 3: just amazes all of us just how incredible you have been.

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Speaker 3: And I know watching the doc oh there's highs and

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Speaker 3: lows through it all, but how have you managed to

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Speaker 3: keep your mental health up going through all this.

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Speaker 1: Mental health So I've been amazingly lucky because Throughout my life,

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Speaker 1: I've never suffered deep anxiety, deep depression, or anything. So

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Speaker 1: when this came a long, it gave me anxiety, it

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Speaker 1: gave me a bit of depression, but it wasn't mounting

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Speaker 1: on an underlying condition. However, due to that anxiety, due

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Speaker 1: to the depression that comes up, I've had to find tools,

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Speaker 1: practical tools that work quickly, and I've found one. This

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Speaker 1: sounds bizarre, but gratitude really works for me. People might

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Speaker 1: think I don't have much to be grateful for. I've

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Speaker 1: got an incurable stage four cancer diagnosis. But if you

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Speaker 1: actually take a moment to just be grateful for the

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Speaker 1: little things like I've got a nice backyard, i can

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Speaker 1: sit and look at a tree, I've got amazing children,

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Speaker 1: I've got the most loving and supporting wife. Taking a

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Speaker 1: moment to think about the smallest things that you're grateful

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Speaker 1: for bring you into the moment and bring you happiness.

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Speaker 1: And also when your spiral mentally, when you can't shake thoughts,

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Speaker 1: when you are just digging in and you can't change

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Speaker 1: your state, I've found the quickest way to change your

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Speaker 1: state is to massively change your temperature. So for me,

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Speaker 1: that's getting into a cold shower, and it just freaks

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Speaker 1: the Jesus out of my body and my brain, but

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Speaker 1: it actually moves, it shifts your mind. So if I'm

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Speaker 1: really freaking out, I'll just get into a cold shower,

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Speaker 1: or I'll just try and breathe five seconds in, five

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Speaker 1: seconds out for three minutes. And those three tools gratitude,

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Speaker 1: changing your temperature to change your state, and breathing massively

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Speaker 1: help me. And I use those pretty much every day.

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Speaker 4: Jeez, the way you've conducted yourself and handled yourself over

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Speaker 4: the last couple of years, mate, is honestly, it's such

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Speaker 4: a testament to who you are as a personal I

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Speaker 4: think about you saying this the other day. Every day

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Speaker 4: I think about you and decisions.

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Speaker 1: That come up and.

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Speaker 4: You know, mundane life things that come up for people

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Speaker 4: that aren't going through this journey like you are. And

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Speaker 4: I honestly, I think you've inspired so many and I

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Speaker 4: imagine a lot from this documentary will be taken away

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Speaker 4: a lot of inspiration by people on how to approach

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Speaker 4: life like the way you're doing it is.

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Speaker 1: It's honestly inspirational. Well, I've got to conduct myself with

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Speaker 1: some sort of decorum. Over the last four years. Because

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Speaker 1: I spent twenty years of my life acting with no

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Speaker 1: decorum and filming Man and putting it on TV. I

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Speaker 1: caused my brand so much damage in my early days

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Speaker 1: that now I'm getting it back to.

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Speaker 3: A wonderful saying that you had. I think I read

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Speaker 3: you said about optimism. I won't cure me, but pessimism

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Speaker 3: will will kill me, which is a good way look

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Speaker 3: at things.

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Speaker 1: You know that that is my mantra, because look you can.

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Speaker 1: You should see that. I get sense so many messages

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Speaker 1: around people with who have quirky ways of healing and

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Speaker 1: all that sort of stuff. Right. I don't think optimism

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Speaker 1: positive thinking is going to get rid of my cancer,

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Speaker 1: but it's one tool in the box. The fact that

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Speaker 1: I've remained optimistic and positive is what's kept me on

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Speaker 1: the road. And that's the thing. I'm in chemotherapy at

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Speaker 1: the moment. I do one week on, one week off.

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Speaker 1: I feel good for about six days out of that fourteen,

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Speaker 1: and to me it's like boom, I've got six days.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into it. Let's do some stuff, not hoping

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Speaker 1: around thinking about the next round, just getting into life.

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Speaker 1: Because there is no past and there is no future.

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Speaker 1: There literally is right now, because the future, when we're there,

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Speaker 1: it'll just be right now. So all I have is

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Speaker 1: right now, and I feel great today. So that optimism

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Speaker 1: is what carries me through beautiful words. You're a special man,

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Speaker 1: you really are, and and you three I always love

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Speaker 1: gent struggling to talk.

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Speaker 3: It's amazing what you're saying. Before we go, let's bring

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Speaker 3: out this change gear slightly, Sean Johnson, Do you retire

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Speaker 3: too soon? I think one more year.

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Speaker 1: Look, this is something john was saying. He thinks about

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Speaker 1: me every day. I think about the question you just

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Speaker 1: as I.

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Speaker 3: Went from daily and pretty much should have been daily

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Speaker 3: and player of the n r L, came back, had

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Speaker 3: some injuries, retired. He's still good for another one two years.

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Speaker 1: I know, And now we're like, do we need We've

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Speaker 1: got a sort out of half. So we had, we

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Speaker 1: had Shawn Johnson, and now I see he slipped very

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Speaker 1: nicely into a bit of talking heads on Fox League,

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Speaker 1: which is probably a bit bitter for your your body composition,

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Speaker 1: Solomon and the like, But hey, I've just felt blessed

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Speaker 1: that basicly in the biggest part of my league loving

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Speaker 1: life the last fifteen years. A majority of that it's

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Speaker 1: been watching Sean Johnson at his best. Plus I got

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Speaker 1: to watch Stacy Jones at his best. So ah, just

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Speaker 1: busy who's going to.

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Speaker 4: Be had a great way to round that.

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Speaker 1: I enjoy catch up with time better, Oh Die.

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Speaker 4: I will congratulations on you know, firstly just putting yourself

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Speaker 4: out there and everything you have done for New Zealand.

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Speaker 4: And then that's not putting it lightly you. You being

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Speaker 4: so vulnerable and being so open about your story has

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Speaker 4: helped so many and no doubt this documentary will do

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Speaker 4: the same, mate.

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Speaker 1: He thanks. And also just quickly before I go, I

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Speaker 1: want to say to anyone who is dealing with mental

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Speaker 1: health issues, do not be afraid to reach out to

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Speaker 1: your friends, and if things are really serious, honestly reach

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Speaker 1: out to a health professional. When you start talking about

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Speaker 1: out things, those problems do dissipate that the air comes

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Speaker 1: out of the balloon a bit. You have support and

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Speaker 1: there are people who love you so so look after

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Speaker 1: yourself and get talking. We love you.

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Speaker 3: I love you lots, mate, I appreciate you all this

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00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:17,120
Speaker 3: morning