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Speaker 1: With the John and Ben podcast.

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Speaker 2: Cheers to Dilma making the world a better tea.

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Speaker 3: Over to you, Meghan. Someone that some filthy animal has

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Speaker 3: been sliding, slippering and sliding into your DMS again.

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Speaker 2: So, Dear Meghan, is a segment we do where you

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Speaker 2: can come to us with any issue you want us

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Speaker 2: to put to the listeners were we'll all judge you.

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Speaker 3: Not legal issues, though we don't just that we we

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Speaker 3: had no expertise in that field.

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Speaker 2: You can slide into my DMS or the Hits Breakfast dms.

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Speaker 2: This is one I'm keen to hear everyone's thoughts on.

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, could I put this story to your listeners

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Speaker 2: for a Dear Meghan, Yes you can. My friend of

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Speaker 2: about fifteen years has revealed to me that she's seeing

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Speaker 2: my dad. She's come to me now, I guess asking

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Speaker 2: for permission now that it's getting semi serious. First of all,

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Speaker 2: it was a major shock. I had no idea, and

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Speaker 2: to be honest, I feel a little bit betrayed. I

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Speaker 2: don't like the idea of them being together, and I

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Speaker 2: definitely don't want to see any PDA from them. What

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Speaker 2: am I supposed to do? Of course, I want my

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Speaker 2: friend and my dad to be happy, and I wish

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Speaker 2: I could be cool with it, but I'm just so not.

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Speaker 2: What do you and your listeners think I should do?

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Speaker 3: Spices? Wow, So she's being asked for her blessings, so

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Speaker 3: she can't. She is the option to say no, I'm

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Speaker 3: not happy with this a new friend was, or she's

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Speaker 3: just feeling like about it it.

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Speaker 2: Seys she sees. I guess they're asking for my permission.

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Speaker 2: They have been seeing each other, it's just now that's

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Speaker 2: getting serious.

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Speaker 3: But they're both willing to pull out if it's not

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Speaker 3: a Koshia with her.

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Speaker 4: Maybe they're just hoping that it's going to be Kocier

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Speaker 4: with her. Now I'm guessing age wise, what are we

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Speaker 4: what are we thinking for?

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Speaker 2: Well, we don't have ages, but like it's her dad,

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Speaker 2: so these an age get there.

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Speaker 4: Not that that matters, but I think with the relationship,

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Speaker 4: what'd be guessing that they've been friends for fifteen years?

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Speaker 3: I mean, so maybe thirty.

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Speaker 4: That one because yeah, okay, so thirty dad, maybe in

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Speaker 4: this fifties?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Well good on it for politely asking her friend.

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Speaker 3: I mean I've been I know when I asked you

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Speaker 3: if I could date Jenny Boyce, your mother. You had

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Speaker 3: an issue with it, and so did my warm turns

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Speaker 3: out and you said no, and I accepted that.

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Speaker 2: But good on it.

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Speaker 3: I guess acknowledging it is that would have been award

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Speaker 3: for the friend to have to come to her and

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Speaker 3: even have that conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's known her, like she's they've been from for

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Speaker 2: fifteen years, so she's known her dad for a long time. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: when did the dad meet her?

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Speaker 4: But they are all adults and they're all now. Yeah, well, yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's an awkward one. But then if it's I guess

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Speaker 4: some people are going to be cool with that and

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Speaker 4: other people might be.

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Speaker 2: A bit like I get what she's saying. She's like,

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Speaker 2: I want to be happy. You want your friend and

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Speaker 2: your dad to find love and be happy, but they

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Speaker 2: have to be with each other.

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Speaker 3: I assume the dad has been so solo ranger for

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Speaker 3: a while. There's no mum in the picture. Okay, the

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Speaker 3: only sensible thing to do was for her to go

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Speaker 3: and sleep with her friends dead now, eye for an eye,

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Speaker 3: father for a father, All said and done, What would

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Speaker 3: you do in this situation? Your best friends come to

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Speaker 3: you and said, hey, I've been dating, your dad would

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Speaker 3: love your blessings, your.

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Speaker 4: Parents are separated for some time?

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Speaker 5: No you.

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Speaker 2: Nah, I'm not.

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Speaker 3: Cay initially, but you go six months, you know, when

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Speaker 3: you start a new job or you started a new company,

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Speaker 3: and you're like worried to begin with and then within

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Speaker 3: a fortnight it's just the norm.

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Speaker 2: I agree, Like are they coming to Christmas? And like

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Speaker 2: is she sitting on his lap?

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Speaker 4: And okay, all right?

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Speaker 1: The hits that JOHNA and Ben podcast in the middle of.

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Speaker 4: Today is dem Meghan our DM today that someone's lead

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Speaker 4: into your DMS? Meghan?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So this is I guess a young woman where

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Speaker 2: she don't have a lot of details, which you can

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Speaker 2: probably understand why when I tell you it's her friend

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Speaker 2: getting together with her dad that been friends for about

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Speaker 2: fifteen years, and she's not okay with it. They've been

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Speaker 2: seeing each other for a little bit and now they're

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Speaker 2: kind of asking for permission. I guess now that it's

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Speaker 2: getting semi serious.

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Speaker 3: I don't think any want to be completely okay with it, right,

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Speaker 3: But then it does time normalize things? That's my question.

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Speaker 3: I mean, initially, no one's good, No one's going to

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Speaker 3: be cool with that. No, the good thing is your

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Speaker 3: best friend will be your stepmother. The bad thing is

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Speaker 3: your best friend's bumping ugly's with your dad.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it grossed out on behalf.

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Speaker 4: Lots of messages on our Facebook page, Megan, and some

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Speaker 4: polarizing opinions.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes yeah, so Parnier has said, that's a hard one.

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Speaker 2: The fact that it's your friend and your dad. They

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Speaker 2: both didn't tell your tool now, but being an adult

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Speaker 2: about it and not making it more than it is,

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Speaker 2: I'd find out if they really do have a connection,

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Speaker 2: if they want to be together. Sometimes in life you

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Speaker 2: can't help who you fall in love with. That's true,

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Speaker 2: It is true. Sorry, Sorry, Becky's polar opposite, She said, sorry,

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Speaker 2: that's pretty crap on your dad's part. Never mind your mate.

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Speaker 2: I'd be pissed. How much time have they been spending

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Speaker 2: together behind your back? If they've been lying to you?

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Speaker 2: How serious is it? So many questions she's not okay.

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Speaker 4: With So someone was okay with it, Paddy, it was okay, honey,

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Speaker 4: was okay, okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, But the whole time you're thinking, how long have

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Speaker 3: you thought my dad was hopeful? I know you've got

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Speaker 3: a lot of questions. You go, you travel back through time,

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Speaker 3: don't you. We're going to get Tully on the phone. Welcome,

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Speaker 3: How are you Tully?

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Speaker 4: How are you good?

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Speaker 5: Thank you?

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Speaker 6: Okay, I'm morning.

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Speaker 5: Everyone wanting have you on this morning?

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Speaker 3: Tully. What's your thoughts on this sticky situation?

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Speaker 6: My thing is, I just believe love has no boundaries.

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Speaker 6: I mean, look at how many of us, we'll say,

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Speaker 6: are lucky to even find love if it is love,

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Speaker 6: you know, and it's not just some kind of game

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Speaker 6: that they're playing or to kick off the daughter or whatever.

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Speaker 6: But it sounds a little much more serious than that.

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Speaker 6: And look at how many of us we don't care

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Speaker 6: about the age gap. I mean, what is an age gap?

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Speaker 3: But it's nothing, Well it's sixteen. There's a law that

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Speaker 3: sort of sees loved us a boundaries sixteen on.

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Speaker 4: Well, you're right in this situation, they're all adults. You

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Speaker 4: sound like they're in their futies in the fifties.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I mean, like I think the issue is

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Speaker 6: when she was growing up, that's with her dad, and

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Speaker 6: now she's going to kind of get out of that

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Speaker 6: and think about, yes, that is my dad. When I'm

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Speaker 6: not a little girl anymore, I can think outside the

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Speaker 6: square now and I can just let my dad be

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Speaker 6: happy for once. You know, there's nothing seeing your parents

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Speaker 6: sufferre or vice versa seeing their children's suffer. You know,

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Speaker 6: it's been.

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Speaker 3: Happy on top of her best friends stop.

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Speaker 4: You know with the images you just said before that

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Speaker 4: everyone know how to be cool with that. Well, we've

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Speaker 4: got a couple people, very very adult of.

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Speaker 3: You doally appreciate that, Sandy. What do you think you

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Speaker 3: want to chime in? Sandy? Oh, hi, lovely to have

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Speaker 3: you on your commute to work this morning. What do

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Speaker 3: you think is it okay for your best friend to

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Speaker 3: date your dad?

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Speaker 7: No, I think it's weird.

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Speaker 8: I thank you as they got married.

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Speaker 9: Then you're best friend of your stepmom and also you've.

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Speaker 7: Got to think about your mom's feelings as well.

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Speaker 3: Thought about that, you're right, another person here, yeah, yeah, yeah, no,

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Speaker 3: that's a good point. Were infected in a mum or

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Speaker 3: where she is in the equation.

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Speaker 4: So that's that's wrap things up, Megan. We'll like to

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Speaker 4: give a final bit of advice from all our pieces

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Speaker 4: of advice.

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Speaker 2: I mean the immature child and me says, oh gross,

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Speaker 2: that's my dad. And again she's going to be you know,

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Speaker 2: potentially step mum, and you can't tell me what to do.

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Speaker 2: But I also think everyone deserves happiness and maybe it

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Speaker 2: won't work out. Maybe you can let your dad be

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Speaker 2: happy for now, have a conversation about your boundaries. I

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Speaker 2: don't want to see you doing stuff in front of me,

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Speaker 2: and maybe you can, like you say, John O, normalize

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Speaker 2: it after a week.

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Speaker 1: Whiles that jonaan Ben podcast Right, we have.

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Speaker 2: Someone who slid into my DMS with a Dear Meghan,

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Speaker 2: you can do that too. If you've got a relationship

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Speaker 2: as you doesn't even have to be relationships. Any kind

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Speaker 2: of issue that you want to.

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Speaker 3: Medical issues and I send your photos away from Okay.

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Speaker 2: Please don't don't.

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Speaker 3: Just want to know the boundaries, but if you want.

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Speaker 2: Some external assistance, I mean, the country's going to weigh in,

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Speaker 2: so you never know what you're going to get. But

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Speaker 2: this is a message we've got today. Hi Megan, John

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Speaker 2: Oan Ben, I have a DM me again. Please keep

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Speaker 2: me anonymous. We always do. I've been married to my

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Speaker 2: husband for fifteen years now and everything is fine. We

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Speaker 2: are each other's best friend and I couldn't imagine life

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Speaker 2: without him. However, lately, I've been noticing every time we

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Speaker 2: get intimate. He quickly gets up to make sure the

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Speaker 2: lights are turned off. It's even gotten to the point

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Speaker 2: now that if I'm getting changed out of my clothes

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Speaker 2: into my pajamas, he'll either step out of the room

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Speaker 2: or tell me to go to the bathroom to get changed.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm overthinking things, but it's starting

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Speaker 2: to make me really upset. I'm beginning to feel quite

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Speaker 2: anxious about my parents. Do I bring this up with him?

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Speaker 2: How do I even confront him about it?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 3: So s splicy.

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Speaker 4: That is at the end of the b Oh maybe

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Speaker 4: you could justify until the through him going to the

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Speaker 4: bathroom get changed.

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Speaker 3: Maybe he's just power conscious. Power's expensive electricity bills. Turn

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Speaker 3: the lights off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just trying to think of all maybe his

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Speaker 4: neighbors that have been around the area peeping in windows.

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Speaker 4: She should turn the lights off in case there.

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Speaker 2: I just when she sees everything is fine, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: well no, but I'm like, maybe it must be like you.

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Speaker 2: There's no indication anywhere else that you guys aren't.

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Speaker 3: Okay, call me crazy. She's connecting dots here, Yeah, spiraling

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Speaker 3: out of control in her head. How about just going

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Speaker 3: to ask him. Yeah, you know, so, hey, mate, what's

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Speaker 3: the issue with the lights? Why don't you want to

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Speaker 3: see my beats?

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Speaker 2: There's the thing like in my relationship, I always catastrophized.

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Speaker 2: You go to the worst possible scenario and you're like,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh. He thinks that's especially if it's happening

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Speaker 2: over and over, like he's turning the lights off. But

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Speaker 2: could it be that he's self conscious?

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Speaker 4: Maybe well, yeah, you're right, and he's.

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Speaker 2: Trying to turn the lights off, and he's like, maybe

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Speaker 2: I've got a dad bot or something and I'm feeling

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Speaker 2: self conscious.

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Speaker 3: It's very if he's anything like me. Every time I

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Speaker 3: steer in the bathroom mirror, a single tear drips down

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Speaker 3: my cheek. So he might not be happy with his body.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're right, Okay, so yeah, well that's this. Did

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Speaker 4: some help from the family right now, very very helpful

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Speaker 4: in these situations.

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Speaker 3: Are you lights on or lights off? Is that too personal?

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Speaker 4: Very it's a person.

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Speaker 3: Always produce Taylor thumbs up and thumbs down. She's like,

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Speaker 3: I'm not answered thumbs ups on lights on?

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Speaker 1: The hits that johonaan Ben podcast Dear Me.

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Speaker 2: Again, someone slid into my DMS. This is really nice

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Speaker 2: that people trust us with these very personal topics, especially today.

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Speaker 2: These people have been married for fifteen years. She sees

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Speaker 2: everything is fine where best friends, but lately she's been

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Speaker 2: noticing that every time they get intimate, he gets up

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Speaker 2: to turn the lights off and asks her to go

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Speaker 2: into the bathroom when she's getting chain.

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Speaker 3: He's putting their love making on Stevie wonder mode. Now,

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Speaker 3: I guess is another thing. Maybe when the lights are on,

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Speaker 3: if you're looking around the bedroom, you can see all

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Speaker 3: the chores that need to be done. You know, it

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Speaker 3: can get distracted.

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Speaker 2: Do you think he's thinking about that and.

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Speaker 3: Trying to come up with an excuse? No, yeah, I'm reaching.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, there's some clothes it needs to be

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Speaker 3: folded over there, you know, stuff like that. Because the

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Speaker 3: clincher is he's making a go to the bathroom. So

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Speaker 3: it's not hone. I still think.

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Speaker 2: How many times did that happen? Was it once or twice?

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Speaker 2: And was it for another reason?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's the thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if.

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Speaker 3: He's laying out rose petals on the bead or something.

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Speaker 4: Not a nice situation for her, especially with her, you

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Speaker 4: know what it's doing to her mind, obviously thinking about

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Speaker 4: it once.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So people are saying, look, how long has

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Speaker 2: this been happening? Is it a new thing? It sounds

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Speaker 2: as though he's just started doing it, even though they've

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Speaker 2: been married fifteen years. Tell the hobby to do the same,

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Speaker 2: and then ask him what his problem is. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: wonder what would happen if she was like, no, go,

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Speaker 2: get changed in the bathroom.

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Speaker 3: Reversing it, getting a dinner, turning down the light like

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Speaker 3: five am mode or something. Yeah, let's get clear on

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Speaker 3: what do you want to say? What do you want

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Speaker 3: to say? To our listeners, they're clear.

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Speaker 10: Well, yeah, if I text an, I've been with my

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Speaker 10: partners for eight years and I've never seen him naked,

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Speaker 10: apart from when he's walking around house drunk, and that's

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Speaker 10: maybe been twice this whole time. But it's mainly because

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Speaker 10: he's self conscious. There's absolutely nothing wrong with his body

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Speaker 10: at all, but he's just that self conscious that even

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Speaker 10: during broad daylight, even at nighttime, he will prefer to

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Speaker 10: be alone. And so I've I've never had a problem

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Speaker 10: with my body, but the longer I've been with him,

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Speaker 10: I'm now I'm not self conscious. But because I respect

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Speaker 10: his privacy. He respects mine as well, so he doesn't

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Speaker 10: walk in when I'm in the bathroom or if I'm

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Speaker 10: getting dressed, he'll get, you know, walk out. But also

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Speaker 10: we have children, and at the moment we have a

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Speaker 10: nine months old, so we have the monitor on, so

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Speaker 10: when we are being intimate, I feel like I'm being watched,

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Speaker 10: even though drop that down or our cats slips in

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Speaker 10: their room. So sometimes, yeah, weird.

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Speaker 9: But yeah, whether it is a new thing that is

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Speaker 9: very odd.

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Speaker 10: Maybe maybe he hadn't got a cat.

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Speaker 11: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, thank you being so open you she had

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Speaker 3: wonderful sharing their clar I feel like a teacher at

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Speaker 3: primary school called sharing clear. And yes, it is weird

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Speaker 3: of a cat steering you in the eyeballs when you're

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Speaker 3: doing that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so well, thank you.

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Speaker 3: That's that's clear's thoughts on it. We've got sues on

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Speaker 3: the phone. What do you want to say?

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Speaker 9: Well, I was just thinking Meagan said that she thought

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Speaker 9: it could be him being self conscious with his body.

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Speaker 9: But honestly, the fact that he's asking her to move

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Speaker 9: into the bathroom when she's getting changed does sound like

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Speaker 9: it's a hymn problem. But it also sounds it sounds

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Speaker 9: like it's a hymn problem that she should approach him about.

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Speaker 9: I feel like it's something they definitely should discuss because

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Speaker 9: otherwise she's just gonna it's going to be a stand.

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Speaker 9: She's going to think more and more into it, and

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Speaker 9: it's going to get worse and worse for her in

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Speaker 9: her head.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I like, I just I'm hoping that she

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Speaker 2: is going to the worst case scenario. I'm kind of

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Speaker 2: hoping there's another reason why he's asking her to go,

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Speaker 2: and like, how many times did it happen? Did it

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Speaker 2: happened once? And maybe he was like, I don't want

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Speaker 2: the light on. I'm trying to do something. You know,

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Speaker 2: I have another reason for doubt because that would be

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Speaker 2: horrible if he was actually doing that.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, no, I agree, So let's all hope for the best.

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Speaker 9: But I definitely think it's something that she needs to

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Speaker 9: discuss with him.

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Speaker 3: Wonderful call, SUSI well spoken. Now the Johnny Price side pole,

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Speaker 3: lights on, lights off?

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Speaker 2: She don't have to.

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Speaker 3: Answer lights on?

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Speaker 12: Okay?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, good, okay, Well the lights on the case seventy

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Speaker 3: percent on leading the pole at the moment.

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Speaker 4: Keep that rolling on.

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Speaker 3: Rolling coverage so what would you say?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, on Facebook, a lot of correspondence coming through, and

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Speaker 4: I guess the probably the message that's coming through most

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Speaker 4: of everyone feeling for this particular person, but most people

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Speaker 4: saying no point overthinking at co talk to her. Talk

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Speaker 4: to That seems to be the main thing that everyone's saying.

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Speaker 4: Because you don't know until you're backsit.

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Speaker 2: You had that conversation, you can catastrophize it in your head.

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Speaker 2: It might be something really innocent. And if it's not,

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Speaker 2: you need to address it anyway because you're just gonna

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Speaker 2: it's gonna affect your mental health.

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Speaker 3: They call them having courageous conversations when you're climbing up

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Speaker 3: the corporate letter in middle management, have a courageous conversation.

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Speaker 2: That's what they're seeing an adult though, exactly.

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Speaker 3: Tones And if people want a message Meghan DM dear Megan,

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Speaker 3: you can do.

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Speaker 2: So Meghanloy's papers on Instagram.

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Speaker 3: What did check your middle name in the Megan papers?

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Speaker 1: Wasn't a bake the heads that jonaan Ben podcast.

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Speaker 3: Someone slid into your dems again, Megan. And this is

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Speaker 3: a tricky one because you hand it over to you.

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Speaker 2: All right, Well, I'll read it out and then we

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Speaker 2: can discuss This is the Dear Megan hire John Oban

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Speaker 2: and Meghan, I have an issue for your Dear Megan segment.

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Speaker 2: I am the cool auntie and my nephew often comes

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Speaker 2: to me with stuff in his life that he often

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Speaker 2: doesn't tell his parents. And he has told me that

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Speaker 2: he has Instagram and his parents don't know. He's only eleven,

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Speaker 2: so he's not really supposed to have it, and his

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Speaker 2: parents are against him having social media until he's older.

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Speaker 2: His account is private and he only has one or

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Speaker 2: two posts, he says, he just uses it to follow

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Speaker 2: other people. Mostly. Now I know this information, what do

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Speaker 2: I do? Do I betray his trust because I feel

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Speaker 2: like it will be obvious that I told his parents,

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Speaker 2: but also I feel like his parents would want to

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Speaker 2: know he help.

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Speaker 3: Please, well tough you do? You want to hold your

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Speaker 3: street cred and your mantle is the cool auntie, don't you?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? But then you're right. They're going to be like

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Speaker 4: if they find out, they're like, you knew you'd be like, yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, but just go what No, But just to the

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Speaker 3: first I've heard of it, Sure.

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Speaker 4: The kid would probably say something I'm told such and such.

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Speaker 3: Give it a yeah, yeah, you don't want to lose

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Speaker 3: your street cred. It's not often as an adult you

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Speaker 3: get cool cool or thought of as cool. So the

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Speaker 3: longer you can hold onto that all funny, it's not

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Speaker 3: your place to dive in. They'll find out at some

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Speaker 3: point then they can deal with the parents.

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Speaker 2: But also your are you kind of like setting yourself

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Speaker 2: up as the confident on in that area so you

387
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Speaker 2: can keep tabs on it a little bit? You know,

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Speaker 2: you can give them, But then would the parents want

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Speaker 2: you to be parenting in their way because it's not

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Speaker 2: your kid?

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Speaker 3: Oh so you're saying you take the responsible role here.

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Speaker 2: If you have any issues with social media, come and

393
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Speaker 2: chat to me about it, like you know.

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Speaker 3: Or you set up a fake Instagram account and then

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Speaker 3: tag his mum and on and loop them together and

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Speaker 3: then you've done nothing, like that's a third party that

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Speaker 3: no one knows.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because do you think in reality, like if you

399
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Speaker 2: say you told the parents, and then the parents like

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Speaker 2: you can't have it, shut it down. He's gonna do

401
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Speaker 2: it anyway, and then he's not going to tell you

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Speaker 2: all the parents.

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Speaker 4: And it's I mean, in the grand scheme of things,

404
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Speaker 4: it's not as bad as a lot of other things

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Speaker 4: that could be doing. It's not like he's ram rating

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Speaker 4: or vaping or you know, like something like that. And

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Speaker 4: when those instance, you're probably like, Okay, yeah, maybe I

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Speaker 4: would definitely trade the kids trust.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and tell you when it comes to ray.

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Speaker 4: One hundred bucks from a dairy or something.

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Speaker 3: Actually, okay, I mean one minute you're setting up sneaky

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Speaker 3: industry accounts, next minute you're human trafficking in Eastern Russia.

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Speaker 3: That's what I've always said. It's a gateway, isn't it.

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Speaker 3: So this is what we want to check over. And

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Speaker 3: knowing how the hits, what do you do? What does

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Speaker 3: this person do? Do they alert the parents, betray the trust,

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Speaker 3: or set up for fake Instagram account.

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Speaker 4: Maybe you've had this situation happened to you. Maybe you've

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Speaker 4: had someone come to you and told you one thing

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Speaker 4: like this and you've gone, I've got to tell apparents.

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Speaker 3: Or you've kept a secret, Megan, you're a secret keeper.

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Speaker 3: I am very loyal at keeping secrets.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which is why this one. I don't know what

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Speaker 2: I would do. I feel like I don't know.

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Speaker 4: You're quite you are very loyal on the secret game, So.

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Speaker 2: You I feel like I would keep the secret. I

427
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Speaker 2: feel like I would keep the secret.

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Speaker 3: So leave it to them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and just be like, hey, come to me, Just

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Speaker 2: come to me if you need me.

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Speaker 4: You know, then the parents are gonna be plea more.

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Speaker 1: Was it the parents perheads that johnaan Ben podcast.

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Speaker 4: In the middle of today's de Meghan Meghan, someone has

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Speaker 4: slid into Meghan's DMS with a very very interesting dilemma

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00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,399
Speaker 4: this morning, Meghan.

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Speaker 2: So they are the cool Auntie. Their nephew has told

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Speaker 2: them they're eleven years old, that they have Instagram and

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Speaker 2: they're not supposed to do. Their parents wouldn't be down

439
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,919
Speaker 2: for it. So now the aunties like, do I betray

440
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 2: his trust and tell the parents or do I keep

441
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,159
Speaker 2: his confidence and keep his secret and maybe just monitor

442
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 2: him Being the call Auntie?

443
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,399
Speaker 3: Does she relinquish her title? Is the call Auntie? Or

444
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,080
Speaker 3: now become the knacking Auntie? Those are the two options available.

445
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 3: A whole bunch of texts on this thank you for

446
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 3: all your texts and advice. On four four eighty seven,

447
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,480
Speaker 3: someone suggesting quietly tell the parents check the kid's phone,

448
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 3: maybe leave the kids Instagram account open on the phone

449
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,120
Speaker 3: and do it subtly yeah, that's that's a good one.

450
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 3: Worst things he could be doing reads This is another

451
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 3: text So I was searching up big boobies on the

452
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 3: internet when I was eleven, So thank you for the

453
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 3: device there. And also don't tell the parents. As an

454
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 3: adult he needs he needs to trust an adult. Every

455
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,600
Speaker 3: child needs to trust an adult.

456
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 2: I know, I'm so torn.

457
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:25,679
Speaker 3: Another text saying blackmail the kid Jackie will get on

458
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 3: from Hamilton wants your advice for this, Lady Jackie, what's

459
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 3: your advice?

460
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 2: Mate?

461
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 13: I think that she should say to a child that

462
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 13: they need to decide whether they're going to tell the

463
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,680
Speaker 13: parents about the Instagram or just get rid of it,

464
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 13: because I think she needs to help them maintain a

465
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,439
Speaker 13: good relationship with his parents, and if she betrays her

466
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,919
Speaker 13: more them, then he's not going to trust anyone and

467
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 13: they won't hear about things that happen. So I think

468
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 13: you just put it back on home and say, come on, mate,

469
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 13: what do you think You know? Your mum and dad

470
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 13: don't want you to have it, So I'm going to

471
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,640
Speaker 13: put that on you to tell them or you take

472
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,640
Speaker 13: it off. I don't think it's your place to get

473
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 13: between the parents. You know what, I mean, I'm very

474
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 13: happy with my sister if she didn't quietly say to me,

475
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 13: look about but yeah, and then I'd tay to here, Yeah,

476
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 13: well I don't like it.

477
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 14: So you're telling.

478
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 13: Them, oh no, but I don't think that's a good

479
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 13: way to have a relationship with them.

480
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 3: No, good on you, Jackie, thank you, Russell, Rusty, you're

481
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,919
Speaker 3: chiming and what do you want to say about this?

482
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:31,679
Speaker 15: That's a tough spot. But if it was me, I

483
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 15: think i'd I think i'd tell the kid to get

484
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,840
Speaker 15: rid of the Instagram account. Otherwise I'll tell their parents.

485
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,639
Speaker 3: Oh, the ultimatum.

486
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 4: It's not a bad way of thing, because then you

487
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 4: haven't betrayed their trust.

488
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 15: Exactly, and they've got an opportunity to maintain your trust,

489
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:53,120
Speaker 15: and and you maintain your cool status. But they know

490
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 15: they're not supposed to have it, so they might just go,

491
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,120
Speaker 15: oh yeah, I'd rather just get rid of it than

492
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 15: than then her tell my parents or something that I.

493
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 2: Feel like you're gonna you're going to lose your cool

494
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 2: status by telling them to get rid of it.

495
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 3: But then you start vaping in front of them, and

496
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 3: you and you regain your If you thought about vaping,

497
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 3: you see.

498
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,280
Speaker 4: I don't mind that idea though. That's that's kind of

499
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 4: keeping everyone kind of on your side in a way.

500
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 15: Yeah, it is that with an opportunity to I think

501
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,600
Speaker 15: both the other options that are lose lose. I think

502
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 15: this is the only kind of the stalemate, the middle

503
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 15: ground that might work.

504
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 3: Your thoughtful thoughtful individual may appreciate your sharing this morning.

505
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 3: You don't have a wonderful day. Okay, okay, love your work, trash,

506
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,639
Speaker 3: let's get into it, tresh, roll your sleeves up. What

507
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 3: do you what advice have you got?

508
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,919
Speaker 14: She should keep it secret, but she should talk the

509
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,880
Speaker 14: boy into telling the parents.

510
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 4: Ah, so she's not actually the one to go break his.

511
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:58,679
Speaker 14: Trust, No, because she she may need to have trust

512
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 14: from him. It's some stage of his life, and if

513
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 14: she breaks it, he's got nobody. Yeah, gently lead him

514
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 14: into telling his.

515
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 3: Parents or the you tell your parents or I will

516
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 3: that got played on me and whit calls by an

517
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 3: undercover shopp or when I shoplifted ay Playboy magazine at

518
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 3: age twelve.

519
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,000
Speaker 14: Yeah, but you know what, you don't need to rely

520
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 14: on her later on in life.

521
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 3: Right, No, but she never told my parents and I

522
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 3: she played you well and there was the lesson that

523
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 3: I learned that day.

524
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:33,160
Speaker 14: Honesty is the best policy at some stage, and an

525
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 14: eleven year old needs to have that honesty with the parents.

526
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 3: Right.

527
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 4: Well, thank you so much for your cause and texts

528
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 4: this morning to summarize. So what do you think is

529
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 4: the best advice yet, Meghan.

530
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 2: Well, someone texted and see the way kids think nowadays.

531
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 2: If you don't keep the secret, the trust is lost

532
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 2: and kids have a very stubborn attitude these days. I

533
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 2: kind of agree, So I'm going to go with trash

534
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,840
Speaker 2: and say keep the secret, but you know, encourage him

535
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,679
Speaker 2: to tell his parents.

536
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, think we're appreciate everyone's calls and great talk,

537
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 4: great calls, great texts.

538
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 1: The hits that johnaan Ben podcast.

539
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 3: Megan, people slide into your dms, don't they meet with

540
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 3: a question here that we put out to the listeners.

541
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 2: It's pretty brave, really, but it is anonymous. So if

542
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 2: you have a DM, you can slide into mine or

543
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 2: Hits Breakfast dms and we will put your conundrum out

544
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 2: to the listeners today though this is our dear Megan. Hey, guys,

545
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 2: what do you do if someone wants to be reinvited

546
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:34,399
Speaker 2: to your wedding after they've rsvp' no. Here's the deal.

547
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 1: We have a.

548
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 2: Couple who have been We've been friends with for a while,

549
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 2: but they are notorious for breaking up. We were friends

550
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 2: with the girl first, so I feel like that's where

551
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 2: our loyalty lies. So when they broke up, she RSVPs

552
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 2: yes and he asks RSVP no. Obviously. Now fast forward

553
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 2: to a couple of weeks until the wedding and they've

554
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 2: gotten back together and she wants to bring him. I'm

555
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 2: well down the line of organizing everything, table settings and

556
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 2: everything into Be honest, I can't be sure they won't

557
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 2: break up again before the wedding. What do I do?

558
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 2: I want to say no to my friend, but how

559
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 2: and am I mean for doing so? Keen to hear whatever?

560
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 2: One thing?

561
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 3: Oh so they wanting to reinvite, you could punish them

562
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 3: sitting with the kid's table or something. Here's a controversial opinion,

563
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 3: and this is surrounding wedding days. Is I believe some

564
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 3: brides and grooms are just ready to kick off and

565
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,920
Speaker 3: just waiting for something to kick off at.

566
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 4: You know, because you're a stressful thing for some.

567
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 3: Of your special day is your special day, and so

568
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 3: you just feel like any slight inconvenience you have the

569
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 3: right to just fire up at and cause a scene

570
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 3: over it.

571
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 2: It's so stressful and there's so many one other.

572
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 4: Person check them on a table with every other person

573
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 4: is a cost, won't say that. So you can come,

574
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 4: but it's gonna cost you one hundred and fifty dollars

575
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 4: or whatever because that's the cost of the whatever.

576
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 2: But she's probably already done, like you know how you

577
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:58,640
Speaker 2: do the favors. Some people get things printed, like, I.

578
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,640
Speaker 3: Mean, she's half of people at our wedding. We don't.

579
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 3: We don't keep in touch with nowadays exactly What does

580
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,120
Speaker 3: it matter. They're just a snapshot of time for people

581
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 3: who are in your life at that moment.

582
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,440
Speaker 4: Don't have them all right, So andrew the hats fourth freights.

583
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 4: Even watching you, maybe you've had the same situation. Happened

584
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,439
Speaker 4: to you with your wedding.

585
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 2: I've had two, and the first one it was like.

586
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 3: We worked on the relationships, all right, That's when they

587
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,399
Speaker 3: lasted me. Didn't just throw it in sim of marriage.

588
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 2: The first one, you listen to everything, you do what

589
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 2: everyone else wants. Everyone is that what you did? Okay?

590
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 1: Sure? The heads that johnaan Ben podcast.

591
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 4: Right now, we're in the middle of this mean Today's

592
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,960
Speaker 4: dem Megan. Someone has slid into Meghan's d MS with

593
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 4: a bit of a dilemma that we put to you

594
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 4: on Andrew the Hats.

595
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 2: They're getting married in two weeks and they have a

596
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: couple of friends that break up, makeup, break up, makeup.

597
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 2: So he r SVP no because they've broken up, can you.

598
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 3: Just deliver deliver this in a bit more of a

599
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 3: neutral time.

600
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 2: They've gotten back together and now he wants to come

601
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,360
Speaker 2: to the wedding, but it's two weeks away.

602
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 4: And she'sstress it's not your wedding to organized.

603
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 2: I've had too, and I was like, I feel traumatized.

604
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 2: I'm triggering my eyes to it.

605
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 3: Would you do this to someone, to one of your

606
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,879
Speaker 3: friends with her having a winning No, I wouldn't do.

607
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 2: You know what, when it comes to weddings, whatever they

608
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 2: say goes. I'm just like cool, cool, no, kids, cool,

609
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 2: it's your it's your choice. You're spending so much money

610
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: on that day and you want it to be the

611
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 2: way you want it. That's cool.

612
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 4: Probably depend the way you ask, though you could say, hey,

613
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 4: I know we are SVP no. But if anyone doesn't

614
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 4: come through, is it possible to you know, I'd like

615
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 4: to come now, would that be okay to ask and

616
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 4: say behave?

617
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,120
Speaker 2: Yeah?

618
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 3: Have they filled the slot? Has someone else come off

619
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 3: the roster? And then they put that in because that

620
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 3: person's going to be like, oh.

621
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 2: Cool, imagine so yeah, yeah, that it wasn't.

622
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 3: In the type group.

623
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 4: It happens, though, I've been like that, that's fine. I don't

624
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,879
Speaker 4: think if you should feel about that, because I know,

625
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 4: you know, you can't invite everyone you want to invite

626
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 4: to the wedding. So if you're in the next lot,

627
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 4: you're in the next lot.

628
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 3: Part of you in the back of your mind there's

629
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,360
Speaker 3: bitter people that wanted here that weren't.

630
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 2: Without going on and on about having two winnings, but

631
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 2: I've had two winnings. First one, I had like one

632
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 2: hundred people. Second one, we had forty six and it

633
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: was way better.

634
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 3: Okay, would we be invited to your third?

635
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe less less?

636
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,280
Speaker 4: All right, let's get to the calls and see what Yeah,

637
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 4: we should pass on through this them.

638
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 3: What would your advice be?

639
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 4: Yess yess.

640
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're here, man, you just started talking. That would

641
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 3: be bloody great radio.

642
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 4: What do you reckon?

643
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,640
Speaker 16: I reckon it's really that important to them that they

644
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 16: asked her to pay for him, because that was our

645
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 16: wedding and someone that had a new boy friend, and

646
00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 16: they were more than happy to pay for him, and

647
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 16: it just took that bit of pressure off of us.

648
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 3: Oh so to find the finance burden you think that's

649
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 3: the problem.

650
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 4: Could be quite expensive, but it does alleviate that. Right,

651
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 4: that's a good suggestion. I think I said something similar

652
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 4: before Megan shot me down.

653
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 2: Anyway, more to do with like table settings. Those are

654
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 2: hard to do, making sure no one's gonna you know, haven't.

655
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 3: Been on the way Jesus here been here trying to

656
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 3: solve problems. Make you're throwing more spinners in the money.

657
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 4: I'm like your suggestions, all right, they's saying another one.

658
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 3: Just sound a better coming out of Jesus mouth. Yeah,

659
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 3: we'll go wait a hundred the hits. We should go

660
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 3: to Sue. We'll go live to Sue. Thanks, Sue, chime

661
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 3: on in? What are they doing? Can they let this

662
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 3: person bring their partner?

663
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 14: Good morning?

664
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 3: Yes, Sue take it away?

665
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I feel like Sue.

666
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 3: We've caught you at a week moment when you weren't

667
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 3: phoning up about this topic.

668
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 17: Oh no, I've brung the wrong number, did you?

669
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 4: So this gets super breakdown what she thinks? Just just

670
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 4: have a guess off the to of your head. What

671
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 4: do you think? I'm not even sure that's the winning

672
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 4: based on everything you know? Hung up?

673
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 3: She had enough of your life bullying.

674
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: I'm just curious to know what she'd come through.

675
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 3: Here's a great he's a great sedition for friends. Invite

676
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 3: him to the the after party.

677
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 2: That's a good idea. I mean, that's fine if he's

678
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 2: okay with it. People get a bit funny when they

679
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 2: only get invited to I don't know.

680
00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 4: All right, rap it up, wrap it up? What do

681
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 4: you want to say?

682
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 2: I think by emailing us, I think she already knows

683
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 2: what she wants to do, and when it comes to winning,

684
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 2: I think you should do what feels right to you.

685
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 2: So it sounds like you don't want to invite.

686
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: Them the heads that johnaan Ben podcast.

687
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 2: Megan, all right, this is the message that someone slid

688
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 2: into my DMS with. If you've got something you'd like

689
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 2: us to put to the people, feel free to do

690
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 2: the same. We can keep it anonymous.

691
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 3: We are slides into your DMS.

692
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 2: Well we say this all the time, but it's just

693
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 2: like girls having bands. Someone asked me where my skirt

694
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 2: was from the other day.

695
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,600
Speaker 3: Yes, that's not really good radio content you put. You

696
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 3: definitely put the best of the options.

697
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 2: All right, here we go, Dear me, Agan, this is

698
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 2: quite a heavy one. Sorry, but I'm really struggling with

699
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: what to do here?

700
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 3: Where was your skirt from?

701
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 2: You're gonna feel bad when I read this. My brother

702
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 2: passed away at the start of the year.

703
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 3: Oh God, what do you have to do that?

704
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was helping out his wife with clearing

705
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 2: up his admin. I went on his laptop going through

706
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: emails to clear up bill payments, et cetera. When I

707
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 2: discovered that he had emails from another woman. Without going

708
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 2: into too much information, it became clear he had been

709
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: having an affair for quite some time. He has been

710
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 2: married to his wife for six years. They have a

711
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 2: child together, and she is like my best friend. But

712
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 2: needless to say, she has no idea. What do I

713
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 2: do now? Do I tell her and blow up her world?

714
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 2: Or do I keep his dirty little secret and torment myself?

715
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 2: Because right now it's all I can think about when.

716
00:31:55,440 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 3: I'm with her, Oh god, I look like a monster.

717
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 3: First and foremost we'll get out of the way. But secondly,

718
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 3: just don't say anything. That's my first in sync what

719
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 3: he's got. There's nothing he can do to repair it

720
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 3: or explain it, or.

721
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 4: It's just going to it will tarnish the memory.

722
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 2: You're checking in a grenade into her memory. Yeah, but

723
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 2: make a question everything. So when I think of it

724
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 2: as like a friend, I'm like, well, don't tell her

725
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 2: right then, When I if I'm her and I think.

726
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 4: About it, would you want to know?

727
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 2: I kind of think I would want to know.

728
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 4: That's tough. That's why. That's why I saw this on

729
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 4: the end the other day, and I think it's great.

730
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 4: Just bury me with my phone and laptop.

731
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 15: Yeah.

732
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: Please, you were saying yesterday your phone knows you better

733
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 2: than anyone.

734
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 3: There inside me.

735
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 2: No, you have your clearing history friend right when.

736
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,040
Speaker 4: You die, trust that person at all.

737
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 1: Bury me with.

738
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 3: Releasing all the fun video.

739
00:32:59,120 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: I'll do it.

740
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 4: I'll clear it for you. I trust you.

741
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 3: So she can tase for for eight seven What would

742
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 3: you do in this situation? What advice can you pass?

743
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 2: She says that at the end It's hard because now

744
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 2: she every time she's with her and every time she

745
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 2: hears stories about her talking about her husband and stuff,

746
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 2: She's sitting there with that knowledge, the.

747
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 3: Guilt of well, she can just hold on to it

748
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 3: when she sees him in the afterlife or whatever universe

749
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 3: we go into when we pass Punish them in the

750
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 3: in the shins.

751
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, kick them in the sh okay one hundred

752
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:31,320
Speaker 4: the hats four for eight seven. It's a really, really

753
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 4: tough one and difficult one. We'd love your thoughts this morning,

754
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 4: and remember every caller that gets on the air gets

755
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 4: a Del Marti price back and one hundred dollars about

756
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,719
Speaker 4: your as well. It is International Tea Day, so give

757
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 4: us a call, we'll get back and hopefully we can

758
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 4: solve this.

759
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: The hits that johnaan Ben podcast.

760
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,800
Speaker 4: In the middle of a heavy Megan Megan. Just to

761
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 4: recap quickly, someone slims your DMS Meghan with a bit

762
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 4: of a dilemma.

763
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. So their brother passed away at the start of

764
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 2: the year. They've been helping his wife clear up all

765
00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 2: the admind bills and whatnot, and has discovered on his

766
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 2: laptop that he was cheating on his wife. She has

767
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 2: no idea. They're also very good friends. So now she's like, well,

768
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 2: do I drop that grenade and blow up all her memories?

769
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 2: Or do I hold onto a secret and torment myself

770
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 2: because she's talking to her friend every day about her brother,

771
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 2: and it's.

772
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 3: I just feel like there's so much damage to be

773
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 3: done if you do. It's like, just don't say anything.

774
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 3: Like when one of us sneakly parks downstairs in the

775
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 3: client car parks, none of us say anything because you

776
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,920
Speaker 3: know that it will cause poor Joe who runs the

777
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 3: building some unduced stress. Okay, we keep it amongst ourselves.

778
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 4: No harm, no foul, just a grace. Was just saying, though,

779
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 4: if you did say, would it make it easier for

780
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 4: them to move on? Yeah, like in a lot of ways,

781
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 4: because they probably hold this image of that person and

782
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 4: then maybe go maybe it wasn't everything I thought the

783
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 4: person was.

784
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I didn't know him that well. I don't know.

785
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 3: How do we know it was an affair? On the

786
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 3: email too, could have been a long lost sibling love

787
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 3: you love you too well?

788
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 2: She said. It became quite clear on emails that he

789
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 2: had been having an affair who.

790
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 3: Seems like old school baby was just one step away

791
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 3: from the fact. So let's get Sam on You're on.

792
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:11,240
Speaker 3: What do you think here? Sam?

793
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:18,319
Speaker 12: Hey? A, So, speaking from experience, I would recommend the

794
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 12: person to keep it to themselves.

795
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 3: What do you mean speaking from experience?

796
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 12: So I've had a brother pass away. I actually got

797
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 12: to know their illegitimate son previously so that I could

798
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 12: keep them informed. And since that, the family really hasn't

799
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 12: spoken to me. I haven't had a relationship with his

800
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 12: kids anymore. And so let sleeping dogs lie. I kind

801
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 12: of believe. I know it's hard at the time to

802
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 12: deal with it, but you're just causing more pain for others.

803
00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 2: Really, So you told your family about his other life.

804
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 18: Yeah, yeah, not not intentionally, but I thought the other

805
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:13,359
Speaker 18: person had a right to know as well in case

806
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,760
Speaker 18: they wanted to say goodbyes.

807
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 4: And now you regret kind of doing it because it's

808
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 4: kind of fractured your relationship.

809
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 3: Definitely, Definitely when you are just coming from it from

810
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 3: a genuine caring angle. Well, hey, thank you for your advice.

811
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 3: You're you're you just say stay tight lipped. Let's sleeping dogs.

812
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 4: Lie, Kara, We'll hock you up with the del Martin

813
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 4: price pack.

814
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 3: And one hundred International T Day today. Well done. Let's

815
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 3: get Cara on. What do you reckon? Dear Megan? Does

816
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 3: she tell or not?

817
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:42,800
Speaker 19: She definitely tells?

818
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you say that.

819
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 19: When somebody in a family passes away? A divide happens

820
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 19: in any case, you know, like it's a double edged sword. Yeah.

821
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 19: I think she's going to go around talking about this

822
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 19: wonderful husband she had, what a great father he is,

823
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,920
Speaker 19: when essentially he's you know, his behavior has been pretty.

824
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 2: Bad when you say it like that, if she someone

825
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 2: she's not that close to might be the one that

826
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 2: spills the beans out in public, you know, when maybe

827
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 2: it'd be better coming from someone she knows.

828
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 3: That's a great option. Tell a third party who doesn't

829
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 3: know anyone out the door? Shall we take one more

830
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 3: quick one? Hayden, you're on welcome. What would you do

831
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: in the situation?

832
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 15: Would one hundred percent tell the truth?

833
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 20: It's so unfair for the friends to be holding on

834
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 20: to knowing the facts, So definitely tell the truth.

835
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like the truth always comes out

836
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 2: in the end, right.

837
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, but are you the person to do it

838
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,320
Speaker 4: or not? Well? Yeah, that's the okay, So Megan we

839
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 4: need to something I don't want to everyone that called,

840
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,359
Speaker 4: of course got on the egg wants to del Marte

841
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 4: price pack and one hundred dollars about you.

842
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 2: Well, if you go by social media, they said, don't tell.

843
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 2: And then if you go by who we've had on, yeah,

844
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 2: they say do tell.

845
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 3: Means tell.

846
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:06,919
Speaker 2: I don't know what when you wake up in the morning.

847
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 2: What are you compelled to do? Most keep the secret?

848
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 2: Will tell her. I think you've got to go with

849
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:11,879
Speaker 2: your gut on this one.

850
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: The hits that jonaan Ben podcast Meghan right now though

851
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 1: someone has slid into Meghan's DMS.

852
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 4: We do this every week or when someone slides into

853
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 4: your DMS with a bit of a dilemma that we

854
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 4: can put to you and hopefully you can help them out.

855
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 4: On Oh Andrew the Hats, Yes.

856
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 2: This week it reads, Hi, guys, I have a dear

857
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 2: Megan situation for you. My mum doesn't like my husband.

858
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 2: She tolerates him and is nice and polite to him always,

859
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 2: but we were planning to go away on holiday with

860
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 2: the whole family and stay together at an airbnb and

861
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 2: she has now told me she doesn't want to stay

862
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 2: in a house with him. She said she can't tolerate

863
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 2: being around him and staying with him twenty four to seven.

864
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 2: It's actually so upsetting for me because they are two

865
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: of the most important people in my life. And to

866
00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 2: make it worse, he doesn't know she doesn't like him.

867
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 2: I can't tell him that she doesn't want to stay

868
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 2: because of him, but she says she won't come otherwise.

869
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,880
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm going to end up upsetting one

870
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 2: of them, and I don't know. I don't want to

871
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 2: do that.

872
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 3: What's he done? What's this guy done?

873
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: Actually, I'm glad that was my first question, so I

874
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,240
Speaker 2: actually asked a follow up questions. So he made a silly,

875
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: drunken comment at the family table at a wedding. So

876
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,120
Speaker 2: he made like a joke that didn't go down well.

877
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 3: And you always got to read the room when you're

878
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 3: delivering your comedy to straight to Fair. You know, extended

879
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 3: family liss.

880
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:34,320
Speaker 21: Don't you.

881
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 2: It was obviously bad enough for the mom to be

882
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 2: like no h in that situation.

883
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 3: You always hope that someone does something worse than you

884
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,720
Speaker 3: at the wedding. You know, someone you know knocks Nanna

885
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:49,879
Speaker 3: into the cake or something overshadows your terrible moment.

886
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 4: So what do what do we want? We want some

887
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 4: advice for her. Yeah, and it's her how she navigates

888
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 4: this because obviously the mom does want to hang out

889
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 4: with him, and she doesn't want to.

890
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 3: She's obviously doesn't want the confrontation or the conflict. Then

891
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 3: I get it, you don't want because then he's going

892
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 3: to feel awkward. She's the best thing. I don't know

893
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 3: much about family affairs, but the best thing I reckon

894
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,960
Speaker 3: is to just suppress it, pretend it doesn't exist, let

895
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 3: it bubble away for a number of years, until it

896
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 3: explodes in a in a volcano of anger. It's like

897
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: my ankle's on a long hall flight.

898
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:24,240
Speaker 2: I don't know what I would do in that scenario.

899
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 2: You don't want to cancel the trap, but you don't

900
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 2: want to push her, your mum into it.

901
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, because normally I would say, you don't have to

902
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:33,359
Speaker 4: hang out. You don't have to hang out. I mean,

903
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,359
Speaker 4: obviously birthdays and Christmas is, but you're not in a relationship,

904
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 4: you know, mum, and your mom doesn't have to get

905
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 4: in the partner, don't have to hang out. No, they

906
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:44,240
Speaker 4: can be civil, yeah, on the occasions. So going away

907
00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 4: feels like a step too far. But you've already committed

908
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 4: to that.

909
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 3: Why don't you just get a separate accommodation in your

910
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 3: own accommodation away from you know, then you just see

911
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 3: him pockets. She can kind of play guards. She can go, hey,

912
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 3: well let's not go over there, just to do some

913
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 3: other stuff.

914
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 4: You know, she protected I'll hit one of your jokes,

915
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 4: but maybe don't talk to.

916
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 2: Anyone and you can tell all your husbands because you're like, well,

917
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 2: I just want it to be asked.

918
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 22: Just us.

919
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 4: Imagine these people listening right now that have you know,

920
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,880
Speaker 4: their relationships with where their partner does not get on

921
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 4: with the parents, and that's I mean, that's that happens,

922
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 4: that's natural, right, Yeah, I have to get on human behavior.

923
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 4: It makes a heart.

924
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 3: We did speak to someone on this show actually a

925
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 3: few years ago, and she didn't get along with her

926
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:27,800
Speaker 3: mother in law. On Christmas Day, she dropped her husband

927
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,040
Speaker 3: off to have Christmas dinner. She sat at the end

928
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,399
Speaker 3: of the driveway in the car for four hours.

929
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 2: Are you tue? Does she not have anywhere else to go?

930
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 3: Though?

931
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 2: She said that.

932
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 3: Would have been looking out the window and probably.

933
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:45,320
Speaker 15: There you go.

934
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:46,200
Speaker 3: So that's a solution.

935
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, the hats do you not maybe don't get

936
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:51,840
Speaker 4: on or maybe had the situation happened with your relationship?

937
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 3: How bad was the joke?

938
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 2: To be pretty bad? Or mum's really sensitive?

939
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 3: Maybe we should play the Netflix roast the Hey, look

940
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:01,760
Speaker 3: at all these jokes?

941
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, the hats that Jonathan Ben podcast Meghan.

942
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 2: So this comes from someone who is in a situation

943
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 2: between her husband and her mum. Basically, we did a

944
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,480
Speaker 2: follow up question and found out that the husband made

945
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 2: an inappropriate joke, a drunken joke at a wedding, and

946
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 2: now her mom doesn't like her husband. They were planning

947
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 2: to go on a holiday together and all stay together

948
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 2: at an airbnb, but she's now told her she doesn't

949
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,959
Speaker 2: want to stay in the same house with him. Also,

950
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:33,840
Speaker 2: the husband is blissfully.

951
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,680
Speaker 3: Unaware, which I love.

952
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 2: I just love that he's so he doesn't know that

953
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 2: the mom doesn't like it.

954
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 3: How do you not know when someone's not vibing you?

955
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 3: You do know, don't you?

956
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:44,919
Speaker 1: Yeah?

957
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 3: Maybe he's just like I hope he's been firing out

958
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 3: any more jokes since the initial piece of comedy. Here's

959
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 3: a potential solution. Could she put a mustache on him

960
00:42:55,680 --> 00:43:01,080
Speaker 3: in a wig challenge. Put on a German accent. You husband.

961
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 3: He might ask some questions as to why he's having

962
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 3: to do this.

963
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 2: But every time you run my mum, just put on

964
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 2: that German exit.

965
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 3: This is Hans Kruger.

966
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,799
Speaker 4: A lot of people weighing in on the Facebook page

967
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 4: and on texting, on calls. A lot of people are saying, well,

968
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 4: just sounds like the mother will be staying home. Then

969
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 4: don't let the mother be manipulating. Tell her to stay

970
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 4: home and not come at all. There's another person think

971
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,800
Speaker 4: he said she said the same problem. My mother doesn't

972
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 4: like the partner for nineteen years ago. I don't give

973
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 4: her an ultimatum either make an effort or stay home.

974
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 4: Don't ruin the holiday. So that's pretty much the things

975
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 4: and I probably I would agree with them. It's kind

976
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,319
Speaker 4: of like, well, don't come then if you don't want

977
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 4: to come and don't.

978
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 3: Come, shares you you're the one who's got the problem

979
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 3: with that. He's the hardline from you, probably what I mean,

980
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 3: what you know, just I have to come.

981
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 4: It's mean to be a holiday. It's not like it

982
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 4: has to be a family occasion.

983
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 15: Everyone has to hang it.

984
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 2: Over to.

985
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 3: Shares you're on. Welcome your thoughts on this one. How

986
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:56,799
Speaker 3: does how does she tackle this Fridley situation? Shares a.

987
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 4: Hello, Yeah, we can mate.

988
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 3: What do you think?

989
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 17: Good morning team? Hey, look, I think this lady needs

990
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,520
Speaker 17: to have a sit down with her mom and probably

991
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 17: her husband as well, and just say to mom, has

992
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,320
Speaker 17: he ever offended you in any other way? Was it

993
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 17: the one source? And get over it? And she needs

994
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,240
Speaker 17: to probably have a one on one with her husband

995
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 17: and say, listen, I heard that my mom was a

996
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 17: little bit offended by their joke. As you told when

997
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 17: you had a few. Maybe you should just say hey,

998
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 17: mommy and know I'm really sorry about that. If I

999
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 17: offended you, get over Once you live every day?

1000
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 3: What im saying?

1001
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 2: You sound like a real mature grown up. It seems

1002
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 2: like a very realistic way to deal with things.

1003
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 3: I going to go down to the morning and get

1004
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 3: that printed on a coffee cup or something. Yeah, die

1005
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 3: once you live every day? Thank you. H has great

1006
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,040
Speaker 3: insight there this morning, deb you will get you offrom

1007
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,959
Speaker 3: Parmers the North. How do we navigate this one? This morning?

1008
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 8: Dead's I'm of the same thoughts as she has a

1009
00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:59,759
Speaker 8: but in the sense that he may not even know

1010
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,240
Speaker 8: that he's offended her. So I think maybe they should

1011
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,160
Speaker 8: just be the wife should tell him that he's offended

1012
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 8: her at a wedding or when wherever it was, and

1013
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 8: then I don't know, maybe they go and speak to

1014
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 8: the mother in law. But at the end of the day,

1015
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 8: the mother in law needs to get over it.

1016
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 3: That's okay. It seems to be that the popular opinion.

1017
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 2: I know, but I hate these confrontational chats.

1018
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're so confrontational.

1019
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,880
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, oh god, can you just imagine mediating that.

1020
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 3: I always find the anticipation of those conversations are a

1021
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,239
Speaker 3: lot worse than once you get into them. Everyone's just

1022
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 3: having open and happy dialogue works for a resolution. Victor

1023
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 3: on welcome, how are you.

1024
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:41,719
Speaker 18: Thank?

1025
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,120
Speaker 3: Mother in law not happy with his low brow comedy

1026
00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 3: at the wedding, doesn't want to go on holiday with

1027
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:47,399
Speaker 3: her husband. What do you think?

1028
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 13: Oh?

1029
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 11: I think they shouldn't definition shouldn't try to hide it,

1030
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 11: and I think that he should be made aware and

1031
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 11: they should be having a conversation.

1032
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 7: And then you know it's you know, she chose her husband,

1033
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 7: so she might need to make that decision with a

1034
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 7: vay go on holiday.

1035
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 4: It's a clean sweep. With a clean sweep the message

1036
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,000
Speaker 4: to pass on, right, Meghan.

1037
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, it's giving me anxiety thinking about this conversation,

1038
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 2: but luckily I don't have to do it. But it

1039
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 2: seems like you should all just have a chat and

1040
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 2: I agree, tell him and give him the chance to

1041
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:24,399
Speaker 2: make it up to your mum.

1042
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 3: Maybe it was the delivery of the maybe you get around.

1043
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 1: The hits that John and Ben podcast mean.

1044
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 2: This is where people slide into my dms with conundrums

1045
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 2: in their life and we check it out to you

1046
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 2: and we all get to judge and throw our two

1047
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 2: cents in. But they've opted the information up there for

1048
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 2: people to judge.

1049
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 3: I would like some follow up sometimes, you know, we've

1050
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 3: handed out our vice no responsibility, and we'll get some

1051
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,879
Speaker 3: follow up on some of these what's Today's all? Right?

1052
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 2: This one? Hi, Meghan? I don't know if I'm being unreasonable.

1053
00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 2: I love it when they start like that, but my

1054
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,919
Speaker 2: friend means you are wow?

1055
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 1: Is she?

1056
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 2: My friend stayed with me and my husband over the weekend,

1057
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 2: and she had a shower and then she came out

1058
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 2: and sat with me and him on the couch and

1059
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 2: her towel is that weird? I felt uncomfortable. My husband

1060
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,919
Speaker 2: also felt weird about it, Like she is naked under

1061
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 2: the towel. We are good friends, but she can be

1062
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 2: pretty free and easy when it comes to how she

1063
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 2: acts around our group's husbands. What do I do?

1064
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 1: What do you?

1065
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 2: What would you do?

1066
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 3: Well? If we look at a towel, I'm assuming wrapped

1067
00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:39,280
Speaker 3: around underneath the armpit, it's just really an absorbent dress,

1068
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 3: isn't it really when you put it in that fashion?

1069
00:47:43,680 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 2: But she was naked underneath.

1070
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 3: She's not wearing a flannel.

1071
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:53,400
Speaker 4: The questions underneath wrapped around, naked underneath our clothes technically naked.

1072
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:56,520
Speaker 2: Underneath it, that's not clothes aren't at risk of just

1073
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 2: falling off? And also, like you imagine the towel short,

1074
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 2: ain't she sitting down on the couch?

1075
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 3: What does she want to do?

1076
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:03,439
Speaker 2: So get off my couch.

1077
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 3: If you've got a whig towel, you've got a damp towel,

1078
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 3: that's not the issue here, making that that's the more

1079
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 3: important issue. So she wanted to notice she confronts her

1080
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,080
Speaker 3: about Yeah, does she say, oh, you.

1081
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 2: Know, I guess next time? Oh god, that's an a

1082
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:18,720
Speaker 2: good conversation.

1083
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 3: The husband's definitely eyes up situation.

1084
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:22,800
Speaker 2: Then no, yeah, the wife brings it up and he's like,

1085
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 2: oh yeah, I was weird. Oh yeah, I didn't like it.

1086
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 3: I want to bring this to home. It's probably a

1087
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 3: little bit awkward.

1088
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I don't know. I don't know if it's

1089
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 4: super awkward.

1090
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 3: What if you were swimming at the beach. Didn't she

1091
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 3: be in a town?

1092
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:40,240
Speaker 2: Your wife Amanda's friends comes over and stays. Then suddenly,

1093
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 2: like after the shower comes out, sits on the couch

1094
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 2: with you and the towel make it underneath. This is

1095
00:48:44,480 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 2: the beginning of a movie people as your wife listening.

1096
00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe a little but I don't know.

1097
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 3: Okay.

1098
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 4: Would you need to bring it up straight out of

1099
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 4: the shower, no towel and sat down that would be

1100
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 4: all good? That's awkward. Or wading around the house with

1101
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 4: no clothes on.

1102
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 3: Would you confront your friend she's toweling up a storm

1103
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:09,280
Speaker 3: again moistening up your couch, which is I'd.

1104
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 2: Probably be more annoyed about the moistening up the couch,

1105
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 2: to be honest, like your couch is weird.

1106
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 4: I'd be more good if it was a bikini because

1107
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 4: I feel like a towel covers up more. So I'm like,

1108
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 4: you know, like there and I'd be like, you know,

1109
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 4: like what look but you go to the beach with

1110
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 4: you but you know, but right next to you know,

1111
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:29,000
Speaker 4: we're having conversation with you know, it's more real estate

1112
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 4: covered with the towel.

1113
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:33,279
Speaker 3: Okay, So does this lady confront her friend or does

1114
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 3: she let it slow.

1115
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: The heads that jonaan Ben.

1116
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 2: Podcast me, this has divided everyone, which I thought it

1117
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:43,359
Speaker 2: would be more cut and dry. So a woman has

1118
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:47,160
Speaker 2: seated her friends, stayed over, her friends stayed over, had

1119
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,719
Speaker 2: a shower, came out, and a towel sat on the

1120
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 2: couch with her and her husband and it made her

1121
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable. Should you say something? What would you do?

1122
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 2: Is it appropriate?

1123
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 3: They were giving her a toweling down Ben, you don't

1124
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,880
Speaker 3: see anything wrong that you see. It's you know, covering

1125
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:03,239
Speaker 3: up eighty percent of a body.

1126
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 4: I tell I think I've got a huge issue with

1127
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,400
Speaker 4: it hasn't happened to me the situation, so maybe it

1128
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 4: would be awkward in that moment, But I'm kind of like,

1129
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 4: it's not like it's a flirtation, doesn't feel How.

1130
00:50:13,480 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 2: Can we set this up in Ben's house.

1131
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: What if.

1132
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 4: On a tail?

1133
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 3: I've seen more of you, Yeah, to be honest, and

1134
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 3: a lot of great texts coming through. But we'll get

1135
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 3: to the calls first. Casey, Uh, what are we doing

1136
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 3: burning at the steak here? What's going on now?

1137
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 23: I sort of see it, as you know, like if

1138
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:40,359
Speaker 23: she wasn't sort of sitting there and showing things, then

1139
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:44,320
Speaker 23: I don't see the problem with it myself. And I

1140
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 23: do feel like you definitely see worse things out and about,

1141
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 23: even at the mall these days, you do.

1142
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 3: Some people are wanting round in pajamas out there, crazy stuff. Mate.

1143
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 3: You know you're right, Casey, there we go. I appreciate

1144
00:50:57,480 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 3: that great text here for for it to see. Would

1145
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:02,120
Speaker 3: you answer the door and a towel? Question?

1146
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:02,480
Speaker 1: Mark?

1147
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 3: Go get dressed? Your floozy?

1148
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 2: Well people do, right?

1149
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 3: I love the word floozy. Paul, you're on welcome?

1150
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 5: How are you?

1151
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:14,839
Speaker 1: Paul?

1152
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:18,399
Speaker 3: Yeah? Here you go here, you're floozy. What's going on? Mate?

1153
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 21: It sounds to me like she doesn't make she trust

1154
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 21: her husband. I would say, see more in a bikini

1155
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:30,240
Speaker 21: down on the beach. What's what's the issue?

1156
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 2: I don't see those I kind of took it that

1157
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 2: she just kind of felt uncomfortable. But you're taking it

1158
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 2: from like she was worried her husband. Was I balling

1159
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:39,760
Speaker 2: the situation?

1160
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 21: Yeah that sounds like what it is to me.

1161
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, pause, trust into the when you sat dropping the

1162
00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 3: tea bombs, it's a bigger conversation text your four throats

1163
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 3: even just comes through. What's the point of saying make

1164
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 3: yourself at home if they don't feel comfortable to make

1165
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:55,640
Speaker 3: themselves feel at home?

1166
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,000
Speaker 2: Do you know the main problem I had with it

1167
00:51:58,160 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 2: as I wouldn't sit on my own couch in a

1168
00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 2: towel alone.

1169
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 3: Like coming back to this is the real crime.

1170
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 2: It's not about the but that you just wiped yourself with.

1171
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:10,399
Speaker 2: Can you get off you care?

1172
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, tear me you're on? What are you doing? You're

1173
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 3: you're sitting in your lounge. Your friend comes out in

1174
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 3: a towel and starts having a conversation with you and

1175
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 3: your partner.

1176
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 22: Well, it's pretty disrespectful to both the wife and husband.

1177
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 22: I mean you'll often tell your husband or wife off

1178
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,240
Speaker 22: if they come in on your couch. Would no wonder

1179
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 22: where it was the moisteness from, not their towels getting

1180
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 22: all over your materialiss.

1181
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 3: Making us feel uncomfortable. But you're right, Timmy, and you

1182
00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,080
Speaker 3: know it's disrespectful to the couch.

1183
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:49,919
Speaker 4: People worry about the couch.

1184
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,400
Speaker 24: The couch is like how may And it's micro flirting.

1185
00:52:53,680 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 18: Let's be honest.

1186
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 17: You think it's micro flurting.

1187
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 24: Who who would if you're respectful of your friends, male

1188
00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 24: or female, who would do that?

1189
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 2: I wouldn't sit on your couch on a towel, ben Like,

1190
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 2: that's weird.

1191
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:13,319
Speaker 3: It's weird that that is weird. You're right, that is weird.

1192
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 3: That produce a tailor.

1193
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 4: Probably wouldn't stay the night though right out, you know,

1194
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:24,320
Speaker 4: actually have you know like all those things. You know,

1195
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 4: this is obviously a free in a close personal friend.

1196
00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 3: I'm not saying not be that relationship coming up to

1197
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:32,840
Speaker 3: that hypothetical Wed Taylor.

1198
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 24: Penty of good female friends that I would never do

1199
00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 24: that to. And for my particial life, I do coaching

1200
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 24: and that as well, and when I talk to people.

1201
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 24: Yet that's a that's crossing.

1202
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 22: Lots of people's boundaries.

1203
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:49,800
Speaker 24: It's it's really ick for your friends.

1204
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 3: Both.

1205
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 2: I agree with.

1206
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:52,840
Speaker 4: All your points.

1207
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,759
Speaker 2: I don't want to be dramatic or speculate, but I

1208
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,160
Speaker 2: think she was putting the feelers out to see they

1209
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 2: were in an open marriage and seeing if there was

1210
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 2: any chance of hooking up with them.

1211
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, you guys read lot into these situations.

1212
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 3: Maybe I don't. Someone in four four seven once answered

1213
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,920
Speaker 3: the door to scare off of naked Jehovah's witness the

1214
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 3: tree there you go, that can't can.

1215
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:20,240
Speaker 2: Be Jehovah's witness was naked? Or they answered the door naked.

1216
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,759
Speaker 3: Jehovah's witness. That would you.

1217
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 4: Like to witness this?

1218
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 1: The Heads that johnaan Ben podcast.

1219
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 3: Meghan, Okay, Meghan. People slide into your DMS. They trust you,

1220
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 3: they like you. They like to share your their dirty

1221
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 3: laundry with you. Then you air out the laundry on

1222
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:41,719
Speaker 3: the radio. It's a full service. We get rid of

1223
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 3: stained removals, folding, We do it all, don't we with

1224
00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:46,680
Speaker 3: this dirty laundry? What's happening today? Mate?

1225
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: All right?

1226
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:51,320
Speaker 2: So this one sticky it sees. Hey, your team, I

1227
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 2: have a dear Meghan for you. I've found out that

1228
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,400
Speaker 2: my husband has sleept with one of his friends. It

1229
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:00,520
Speaker 2: was before we were together, but we hang out all

1230
00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 2: the time, and I always felt like she didn't like

1231
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 2: me much. I feel like she he should have told me,

1232
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 2: and he's been keeping it a secret.

1233
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:09,399
Speaker 1: Now.

1234
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 2: I don't want them hanging out, especially because she isn't

1235
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:14,879
Speaker 2: nice to me. It makes me think that she still

1236
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,719
Speaker 2: has feelings for him, and that's where her hostility is

1237
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:20,440
Speaker 2: coming from. What do I do now? Please?

1238
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 3: I want to know who told her? Like it feels

1239
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 3: like so much time has pasted it. He probably hasn't

1240
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 3: told her because well, to be honest, he wanted to

1241
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:31,040
Speaker 3: avoid all the conversation.

1242
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone in the friend group.

1243
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:38,600
Speaker 3: Some loose li it nosey Parker.

1244
00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:42,080
Speaker 4: It's tough though. You can to see from his point

1245
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 4: of view, like why he didn't want to say anything,

1246
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:46,640
Speaker 4: and then you'd probably leave it too long and then

1247
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 4: you want to go, oh, I guess what. Yeah, by

1248
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 4: the way this happens, so's I mean? Like, it does

1249
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 4: feel like you put it in the nice to know

1250
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 4: category in terms of information. It would have been nice

1251
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 4: to know.

1252
00:55:57,960 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 3: So, like you say, you would have ripped the plaster

1253
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:01,960
Speaker 3: early on, go hey, we hang out with this person.

1254
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 3: Might have smooched. We might have smooched back in the day.

1255
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,320
Speaker 2: But hey, more than a smoke.

1256
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 3: Our rhythm was off, our timing was all out of

1257
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,719
Speaker 3: killed her and it just was never gonna work. Yeah,

1258
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,640
Speaker 3: and so maybe that's the reason, and she got a

1259
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 3: partner now this new the friend group.

1260
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 2: Girl doesn't say it, doesn't say, but she's saying, I

1261
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 2: think the bigger problem is that you could be fine

1262
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 2: if they were just friends and she was nice to you,

1263
00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:29,239
Speaker 2: But she's being unkind to her. So that makes you

1264
00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 2: think that you know, she's still got feeling for the husband.

1265
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:35,960
Speaker 3: So the question is does she ban him from seeing

1266
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:37,080
Speaker 3: her yeah.

1267
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 16: Or not?

1268
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,240
Speaker 3: Or is she chilled then yeah, and quietly fester away

1269
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 3: over a number of years until she's.

1270
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:48,360
Speaker 1: The hits that jonaan Ben podcast.

1271
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:53,040
Speaker 4: Megan where we get someone sliding into Megan's tms and

1272
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,400
Speaker 4: we get to your thoughts on what they should do

1273
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 4: with a bit of a dilemma.

1274
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,359
Speaker 2: So the issue is this person found out their husband

1275
00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 2: has slept with one of their friends, that someone they

1276
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,719
Speaker 2: hang out with a lot, but it was before they

1277
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 2: were together. But she sees she's always felt like she

1278
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:10,040
Speaker 2: didn't like her much, so there might be a bit

1279
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 2: of beef there. And she said, because she doesn't like

1280
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 2: her much, she said, maybe she still has feelings for him.

1281
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 3: What does she do now I only want to know

1282
00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 3: how she found out this information. Obviously there was something

1283
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 3: from the husband, third party, trouble making busybody who launched

1284
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 3: a grenade into the social battlegrounds and making this poor

1285
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 3: lady feel very insecure about life. Yeah, we don't want

1286
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 3: there being your advice to her.

1287
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 4: It's really hard, Like I kind of feel like the

1288
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 4: situation like you'd probably best that she didn't know, like

1289
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 4: and you know, like I understand why no one said anything,

1290
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 4: but now it's out there, you kind of just have

1291
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,680
Speaker 4: to kind of you're in a relationship, you kind of

1292
00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 4: have to just kind of suck it up and move on. Really,

1293
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 4: I mean, it does feel like it'd be quite a

1294
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 4: big move to go, well, now you can't see each

1295
00:57:53,680 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 4: other for something that you've only just discovered this happened,

1296
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:57,720
Speaker 4: but happened years ago.

1297
00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:58,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

1298
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 3: You can't do do the bumping ugliesa can you? The

1299
00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:07,640
Speaker 3: uglies have been bumped, Denise, You're on are not referring

1300
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 3: to this lady as and ugly either. I really found

1301
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:12,280
Speaker 3: myself in a bit of a trip out there. Sorry, Denique,

1302
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 3: welcome your advice.

1303
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 7: So my advice would be there's two things. Guys often

1304
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:22,440
Speaker 7: don't mention exits because for them, it's done. They have

1305
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:26,680
Speaker 7: no relevance in terms of any to them, so he's

1306
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:29,600
Speaker 7: probably kept her as a friend because their social group

1307
00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 7: calls for that. However, she should address the behavior with

1308
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 7: her husband so they can tackle it. In terms of

1309
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,800
Speaker 7: what she does with the friends, it's just they don't

1310
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 7: have one on one time they go hang out because

1311
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 7: I bet someone's told them because she's finding it really

1312
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:49,160
Speaker 7: hard seeing them being really happy and living the life

1313
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:53,360
Speaker 7: she probably wanted. So it's just fiteful. So she should

1314
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 7: just go live her life, be with her husband, and

1315
00:58:55,960 --> 00:59:00,200
Speaker 7: any behaviors that happen that are inappropriate, they should just

1316
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,520
Speaker 7: work it as a team. The point of telling someone

1317
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:05,720
Speaker 7: this information is to try and get them to not

1318
00:59:05,880 --> 00:59:07,720
Speaker 7: be on the same page and cause a fight.

1319
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 3: So how much do we have to pay for this season?

1320
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:18,440
Speaker 7: I'm not qualified, so I can't get paid for it.

1321
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 7: But I'm just used to all the friends in their

1322
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:26,640
Speaker 7: kind of relationships. I've kind of seen when people mention

1323
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 7: something far back in the past and it causes harm.

1324
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 7: It's usually with an intention of causing, you know, the

1325
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:36,880
Speaker 7: two parties not to talk. For her to tell them

1326
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 7: to not see her do all this and it takes

1327
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 7: away actually what needs to be addressed, which is the behavior.

1328
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 7: So as for example, she doesn't say hi, or say

1329
00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 7: nasty things, or like if they're doing a friends thing,

1330
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 7: she tries to isolate. That's where the hubby can come

1331
00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 7: in and be like, don't me and her team, or no,

1332
00:59:58,040 --> 00:59:59,920
Speaker 7: that's not cool if we're not going to do that,

1333
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 7: or she's not invited. You know, we're not going to

1334
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 7: come that.

1335
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:09,800
Speaker 3: Denique, that is she's rock solid advice. Summed up, I

1336
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 3: have really impressive. I appreciate you taking the time to

1337
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 3: call this morning, Tony, you have a great day. We've

1338
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 3: got an anonymous caller now wanting to chime in on this.

1339
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:24,200
Speaker 3: Ladies just discovered her husband did connect physically with someone

1340
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 3: in the friend group, but years previous. She's only found

1341
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,760
Speaker 3: out about it. Now, what's your advice?

1342
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 12: It's me, that's you.

1343
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 3: It's hard, that's hard. Anonymous could be any one of

1344
01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 3: the anonymous people out there.

1345
01:00:37,760 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 5: Absolutely, I'm coming at up from the same point as

1346
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 5: the last. Paula really like, why you don't want to

1347
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:46,760
Speaker 5: make something out of something that was of the past,

1348
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 5: and ultimately it's the behavior exactly the behavior you want

1349
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 5: to deal with between the parties, because I mean, you

1350
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 5: want to be respectful to each other and a friendship.

1351
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:01,600
Speaker 5: So ultimately have won the man and you're untilready your husband,

1352
01:01:01,720 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 5: so you know you can't change.

1353
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:04,200
Speaker 7: You can't change.

1354
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 3: That's right. There's only someone on one person going home

1355
01:01:07,120 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 3: to me every night. Take him for a good old date.

1356
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 3: Thank you very much for be calls to there go

1357
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,280
Speaker 3: that's one hundred percent, and even the text and Facebook

1358
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 3: messages as well, going what's in the past in the past,

1359
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 3: have you got an issue? Talk with him?

1360
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 14: Yeah?

1361
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,080
Speaker 2: Or talk with the woman and be like, have you

1362
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 2: got an issue with me?

1363
01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 4: Just have Was she the one that brought anywhere? We

1364
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:27,160
Speaker 4: don't know who brought it up?

1365
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:28,840
Speaker 2: As you say, we don't know that she's being mean

1366
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 2: to her, so just have it up with her. It's

1367
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 2: got nothing to do with you and your husband.

1368
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 1: The heads that johnaan Ben podcast.

1369
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 4: Someone has slid into Megan's the ms again with a

1370
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:41,960
Speaker 4: bit of uh well, but of help needed for some

1371
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 4: advice that we hopefully we can put out to you

1372
01:01:44,640 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 4: pre wedding.

1373
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:47,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you have something you'd like to ask

1374
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,320
Speaker 2: the team about in the nation, just slide into my DMS.

1375
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,920
Speaker 3: We have no experience. We just say some stuff, but

1376
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:55,800
Speaker 3: usually the listeners come through with some great advice.

1377
01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 2: Well, technically this is addressed to all of us, so

1378
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 2: they kind of aren't asking you. Well, it says, hey,

1379
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:02,680
Speaker 2: John Obinier, Meghan.

1380
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 3: Dump him, dump him.

1381
01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 2: Here is a dear Meghan, dilemma for you. Me and

1382
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:10,280
Speaker 2: my fiance to get married in six months. But there

1383
01:02:10,360 --> 01:02:13,000
Speaker 2: is one thing we are disagreeing about, and it has

1384
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 2: nothing to do with the wedding. I'm keen to join

1385
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 2: bank accounts, but he really wants to keep secret accounts

1386
01:02:19,440 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 2: and keep spending our own money. That just seems weird

1387
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 2: to me. We are joining together in marriage. To me,

1388
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:29,720
Speaker 2: that means joining finances as well. All our bills become shared,

1389
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 2: so why wouldn't our money. Does that mean he's hiding

1390
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:36,439
Speaker 2: something or is that a normal thing. Appreciate your guys help.

1391
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 3: It's interesting. I feel like he still is to keep

1392
01:02:42,640 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 3: his financial freedom and not you not knowing what he

1393
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 3: spends his money on. Maybe so yeah, he's hiding stuff.

1394
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 3: Sometimes we like to go to Burger King, Burgerfield, McDonald's, Wendy's,

1395
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 3: to go back to KFC all on Monday, and we

1396
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:58,840
Speaker 3: don't want the shame of that being exposed on our

1397
01:02:58,920 --> 01:02:59,560
Speaker 3: bank accounts.

1398
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 4: Tricky one, because you know, I imagine there are some

1399
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 4: people out there they are in a relationship for many

1400
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,520
Speaker 4: years that may have separate bank accounts, And that's why

1401
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 4: we still have our own separate bank accounts, my wife

1402
01:03:08,880 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 4: Amanda and I we've always had. But then you have

1403
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 4: a sort of a joint account. Yeah, we're in the

1404
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:13,720
Speaker 4: same scenario.

1405
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:16,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like once you're married, you married, Like

1406
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:20,040
Speaker 3: if they concern is ownership over how much how much

1407
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 3: money or finance you bring into the relationship, well then

1408
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:24,919
Speaker 3: they're going to have half your stuff anyway, right, Yeah,

1409
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 3: after a certain period of time. So if that's the concern,

1410
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 3: then you kind of eliminate that by joining bank accounts.

1411
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 2: Because I've always found it weird when someone you have

1412
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,160
Speaker 2: like a joint account and everyone puts money in, like

1413
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:39,160
Speaker 2: you split the bills, because not everyone in a relationship

1414
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,960
Speaker 2: earns the same amount of money, right, So like that

1415
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:45,160
Speaker 2: might be quite hard for someone to pay half if

1416
01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:46,840
Speaker 2: they're not earning as much as someone else.

1417
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, automatically, I'm painting him as a villain in my head.

1418
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 3: He ses holding his onto his cash for nefurious purposes.

1419
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,120
Speaker 3: It's not the case. No, No, you're right. Maybe it's

1420
01:03:56,200 --> 01:03:59,920
Speaker 3: just genuine like, hey, it's definitely giving off. I don't

1421
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 3: feel like this is going to last vibes, and I

1422
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 3: want Les Edmond at the back end of it. But

1423
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 3: what would you do? Andrew's like, hey, I reckon, we

1424
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 3: should keep seperate bank accounts heading into this.

1425
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 4: But it can change though. You can have separate bank

1426
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,840
Speaker 4: accounts and a few months later you can go actually

1427
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:15,320
Speaker 4: merge them together.

1428
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 2: Why Yeah, I don't know. It's not weird. But I've

1429
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,720
Speaker 2: always been the bread winner in the relationship. So Andrew's

1430
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:24,680
Speaker 2: quite keen to like bank accounts.

1431
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:28,200
Speaker 4: Because I know, you know, from time to time you

1432
01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:30,320
Speaker 4: may make a purchase that you don't want Andrew to

1433
01:04:30,480 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 4: know about what happens in those situations.

1434
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:38,040
Speaker 3: Credit cards, my friend, r okay, credit cards packages you

1435
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:38,640
Speaker 3: have tuning up?

1436
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 2: Can we have a limit though, like you wouldn't spend

1437
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:45,840
Speaker 2: too much over like turn, you wouldn't spin over turndred

1438
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 2: Bucks without But.

1439
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 3: Then Bing has said, well, sometimes you could buy something

1440
01:04:49,320 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 3: for one nine nine and.

1441
01:04:50,240 --> 01:04:58,520
Speaker 4: Then again for another on the heads four four eight seven,

1442
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 4: what should this person do? Should they be concerned about

1443
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 4: by not wanting to split the.

1444
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:07,240
Speaker 2: Well, does she fight her point or is it normal?

1445
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 2: Is it okay?

1446
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:10,480
Speaker 1: The Heads that John and Ben podcast.

1447
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:14,160
Speaker 3: Damn Meghan, Now, Megan, you did such a bang up

1448
01:05:14,240 --> 01:05:16,000
Speaker 3: job of explaining the scenario.

1449
01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:20,600
Speaker 2: Eloquently this time. Here is the scenario. They're getting married

1450
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 2: in six months. But she wants to join accounts and

1451
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:27,600
Speaker 2: he does not want to. She wants to know if

1452
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:30,520
Speaker 2: this is weird. Does it mean he's hiding something or

1453
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:33,800
Speaker 2: is it a normal thing to have bred accounts?

1454
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:34,240
Speaker 22: Oh?

1455
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:36,520
Speaker 3: Money, It's just money at the end of the day,

1456
01:05:36,560 --> 01:05:39,360
Speaker 3: isn't it. All you need it for is somewhere to live,

1457
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:42,840
Speaker 3: somewhere to eat, somewhere to put petrol in your car.

1458
01:05:43,320 --> 01:05:45,320
Speaker 3: Part from that, it doesn't matter, you know, don't let

1459
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:46,720
Speaker 3: it a feat your relationship. Yeah.

1460
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 2: I think the less disagreements you can have about money,

1461
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:52,680
Speaker 2: the better. Like, just chuck it all together and that's

1462
01:05:52,720 --> 01:05:55,560
Speaker 2: what you do. Better. Mean, I don't know any other way.

1463
01:05:55,680 --> 01:05:57,880
Speaker 4: Credit cards as well, which is not a bad solution

1464
01:05:58,040 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 4: for this, right.

1465
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you still want a little bit of freedom, don't you.

1466
01:06:03,240 --> 01:06:05,600
Speaker 2: Other people are saying to be able to buy presents

1467
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:09,000
Speaker 2: and not have them stumble upon it on your statements.

1468
01:06:09,120 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 23: That's right.

1469
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:12,280
Speaker 3: You want to be able to buy presents for your partner.

1470
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:15,680
Speaker 3: That's why you need a sup damn right, Megan, let's

1471
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:18,880
Speaker 3: get Joe on the advice here. Does this lady parsue

1472
01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 3: this issue any further or just leave it? What do

1473
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:21,960
Speaker 3: you think they're Joe?

1474
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:27,240
Speaker 11: I don't think there's a massive issue with wanting separate money,

1475
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 11: but like, you're together, so why not put all your

1476
01:06:31,480 --> 01:06:33,600
Speaker 11: money together and then give each other like an allowance

1477
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 11: for a fortnight or a week or something. But also

1478
01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:40,240
Speaker 11: when they have kids, like if they choose to have kids,

1479
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:42,920
Speaker 11: and if she's staying at home and not working and

1480
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 11: has no form of income, what's she going to do

1481
01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:48,440
Speaker 11: for money? Like does she have to ask her partner

1482
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:51,200
Speaker 11: for yeah money?

1483
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:54,160
Speaker 3: Then he's got weird full control. Yeah, I see what

1484
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,760
Speaker 3: you're saying. Someone's texting here for for seven Joe, don't

1485
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,280
Speaker 3: know how you feel about this. We have separate bank

1486
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 3: accounts being together for twenty plus year years. The bills

1487
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:03,400
Speaker 3: and food, et cetera go into one one account. The

1488
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 3: rest of what we earn is ours and it has

1489
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 3: never caused any issues in our relationship.

1490
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 2: But then when one person is not earning. What happens

1491
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:12,840
Speaker 2: is what Joe's saying, right.

1492
01:07:13,120 --> 01:07:14,440
Speaker 3: Survival of the fittest.

1493
01:07:15,880 --> 01:07:18,720
Speaker 4: Sucks. I'm going out for dinner.

1494
01:07:21,120 --> 01:07:22,919
Speaker 3: With the supermarkets. Throw some stuff out of the bins

1495
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,600
Speaker 3: out back if you want to feed. Yeah, no, I

1496
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:28,080
Speaker 3: see what you mean, Joe. Well then maybe there needs

1497
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:29,560
Speaker 3: to be some sort of arrange where you're like, well,

1498
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:31,000
Speaker 3: obviously I'm going to look after you.

1499
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,760
Speaker 4: That's right, that's what marriage is about.

1500
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:36,120
Speaker 3: You know, Tony will get you on. What's your advice

1501
01:07:36,240 --> 01:07:37,680
Speaker 3: for this list of this morning tone?

1502
01:07:38,440 --> 01:07:41,600
Speaker 20: Hey, guys, honestly, I think it is a graph a

1503
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:44,080
Speaker 20: little bit. You're getting married, like, it's a pretty massive step.

1504
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:48,800
Speaker 20: It's like another thing he could have passed trauma from

1505
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:54,160
Speaker 20: a past relationship. Joining money. It happened to me my

1506
01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:59,120
Speaker 20: joining money, and I was a bit skeptical, but you

1507
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:03,320
Speaker 20: get past it. Trauma is the case. But you know

1508
01:08:03,400 --> 01:08:06,240
Speaker 20: we've joined money. We have our spending money that we

1509
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:09,680
Speaker 20: have watches, you know, for gifts and our own things.

1510
01:08:09,720 --> 01:08:12,360
Speaker 20: But yeah, you know, I think you're getting married. That's

1511
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 20: a massive step.

1512
01:08:13,160 --> 01:08:15,560
Speaker 3: So you're right, And you know we mentioned before that

1513
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:18,080
Speaker 3: you know, after a certain time period, really married or

1514
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:18,559
Speaker 3: not married.

1515
01:08:18,560 --> 01:08:20,920
Speaker 4: I think three years, isn't it three years?

1516
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 2: They split up everything anyway.

1517
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:27,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, So when you think about it like that, it's

1518
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,120
Speaker 3: not really and marriage is like you said, it's a

1519
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:32,160
Speaker 3: huge step. That's a joy. That's the join the account

1520
01:08:32,240 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 3: situation there, Tony.

1521
01:08:34,320 --> 01:08:34,880
Speaker 4: What happened to you?

1522
01:08:35,120 --> 01:08:37,240
Speaker 3: Did you did the previous partner rip you off? Tony?

1523
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:38,080
Speaker 15: Yeah?

1524
01:08:38,640 --> 01:08:41,680
Speaker 20: Yeah, just I think I was there. Karma my way

1525
01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:44,360
Speaker 20: and you know, love and alone.

1526
01:08:44,760 --> 01:08:45,080
Speaker 15: Carry on.

1527
01:08:45,479 --> 01:08:47,320
Speaker 4: Well, good advice. Thank you. I appreciate your sharing it

1528
01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:49,400
Speaker 4: with us and the nation this morning. Have a great day, man,

1529
01:08:49,960 --> 01:08:50,599
Speaker 4: all right, Megan.

1530
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:53,560
Speaker 2: To be honest, it's really split because a lot of

1531
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:55,640
Speaker 2: people commented on the Facebook as well, a lot of

1532
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:58,720
Speaker 2: people are doing separate accounts and it seems to work

1533
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:00,560
Speaker 2: for them. So I guess it's a common assation you

1534
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:02,439
Speaker 2: need to have. But if you have worries about it,

1535
01:09:02,760 --> 01:09:06,320
Speaker 2: you definitely need to talk to them and clear the

1536
01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:07,679
Speaker 2: ear that he's not hiding anything.