Speaker 1: As Ruga as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collective. Oh thanks to the
Speaker 2: great New Zealanders at max Raft.
Speaker 3: I had an absolute debarkle where I I got a
Speaker 3: nap that was cheer yoga app, but doing for doing
Speaker 3: yoga and a cheer right, there's no shit you need
Speaker 3: an that.
Speaker 4: It was an app, And so I went.
Speaker 3: I was sart fifteen bucks a month and I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: that's okay, that's that's good.
Speaker 1: Did they send you the chair or you why?
Speaker 3: No, you can just use your own cheer. This is
Speaker 3: defended by Latham anyway. So I was doing that for
Speaker 3: three or four months. I did it twice, say yeah
Speaker 3: looking good, Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it's nothing to do
Speaker 3: with the yoga app though, And so I've been doing
Speaker 3: it for three or four months and then my wife
Speaker 3: said to me, what the hell is this?
Speaker 4: Eighty bucks a month for a yoga app? And I
Speaker 4: was like what?
Speaker 3: And so I've been paying eighty bucks a month for
Speaker 3: a cheer yoga app.
Speaker 4: That I didn't even use.
Speaker 1: For someone to tell you what a chair. It was ridiculous.
Speaker 3: As Atkinson comes in again full and dug out by
Speaker 3: lath And they'll get another couple here as it beats
Speaker 3: a man.
Speaker 4: At mid ONN So are the runs flowing at the moment.
Speaker 5: I don't know why, Jas, but I just feel like
Speaker 5: you're the kind of guy who would sign up for
Speaker 5: a lot of apps and probably get lurid into that
Speaker 5: idea that you get the first month free, but then
Speaker 5: you give them your credit card and then after the
Speaker 5: first month they charge you.
Speaker 1: But you would have forgotten that you've.
Speaker 5: Given them the credit card, and you don't know how
Speaker 5: to unsubscribe. You don't know how to unsubscribe, so you
Speaker 5: just sign up for everything because you think it's free,
Speaker 5: but then it ends up costing you.
Speaker 4: Well, am I right?
Speaker 1: Probably paying two thousand dollars a month on apps? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I probably am I. This says driven beautifully by length
Speaker 3: and but straight to the man at CAPA, I didn't
Speaker 3: have a on You know how you do that you
Speaker 3: scan the QR codes, and I didn't have one on
Speaker 3: my phone, so.
Speaker 1: So you download you bought one. I bought one online.
Speaker 3: Online, a QR code scanner, and cost me one hundred
Speaker 3: and eighty bucks. That was I know, It's just think
Speaker 3: what I probably would have been a month and keys
Speaker 3: he said to me, it costs you one hundred and
Speaker 3: eighty bucks.
Speaker 4: Jase, you've got one on your phone, you idiot.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I probably.
Speaker 3: Spend about two and a half k on unwanted apps. Well,
Speaker 3: you know, case in point, the meteor app. It's not
Speaker 3: even a weather app. I mean it tells me where
Speaker 3: the meteors are going to hit out.
Speaker 1: And once you know it's in three and a half
Speaker 1: thousand years, you don't need to check it again.
Speaker 4: With exactly it's going to be three and a half
Speaker 4: thousand years.
Speaker 1: You don't check it every week to see if it's
Speaker 1: only coming closer.
Speaker 6: You know, I think exactly in a situation, Jase, you've
Speaker 6: got to get rid of all your credit cards because
Speaker 6: that means all your subscriptions will automatically stop, yes, and
Speaker 6: then they'll email you straight away your email than minutes,
Speaker 6: and then you can work out the ones that you
Speaker 6: want the ones that you don't.
Speaker 1: When you leave your credit card, it's great, wakes to Williamson.
Speaker 4: Just outside of the off stump. He leaves alone.
Speaker 1: There's no run and you see these apps. You had
Speaker 1: no idea what they are. You know, Asian hearties, top couple.
Speaker 1: You know it's ridiculous. You know where did they how
Speaker 1: did they jump onto you?
Speaker 4: Is there an Asian Holly app?
Speaker 1: Is it just an example?
Speaker 5: So New Zealand currently fourth on the World Test Championship standings,
Speaker 5: England haven't got a hope in hell of getting anywhere
Speaker 5: at the moment.
Speaker 3: Woke by Williamson just fall short of the man at
Speaker 3: third slap. It's just sort of a length again and
Speaker 3: it was a loose shot from Williamson.
Speaker 5: Wokes has really settled onto a good line and linked
Speaker 5: to Williamson the right handle, which is interesting. He's played
Speaker 5: in Miss a couple of times. That was a beautiful delivery,
Speaker 5: a little bit shorter and Williamson on the back foot,
Speaker 5: but it nipped away a bit, didn't it soft enough
Speaker 5: hands to make it drop before for slip?
Speaker 3: It's still too short in my view, Jerry, Yeah, I
Speaker 3: think you're right, Jay, it's just a fraction and I
Speaker 3: think you know this is defeated again by Williams. And
Speaker 3: if I had Asian hotties as an app, my wife
Speaker 3: would probably notice that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they knew notice that much.
Speaker 4: Be like, why am I what's this?
Speaker 3: One hundred and fifty bucks for Asian hotties on this,
Speaker 3: you know I had I.
Speaker 1: Had a nap which is more of a sort of
Speaker 1: explain it, and again I didn't like it. Came it's
Speaker 1: called Asian driver. Nothing so right I'm driving. It will
Speaker 1: sense where an Asian driver is around me, right, so
Speaker 1: you might say turn left, turn right in it will
Speaker 1: take me towards Asian drivers.
Speaker 3: Or you can set it so you're gonna you're gonna
Speaker 3: have it in a avoidance setting or are coming together settings?
Speaker 1: Exactly right, yes, once again.
Speaker 3: Too short by Wokes and this is left alone outside
Speaker 3: the up stump, not challenging to the batsman at all.
Speaker 1: Can set it to dating or dating setting or crash
Speaker 1: avoidances up to you.
Speaker 3: Whatever you choose, we'll both Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, useful air piece, you say, can you share that
Speaker 1: with me?
Speaker 2: No third umpire, no rewinds, just raw dog commentary. This
Speaker 2: is the alternative commentary collective.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders. At Rasin.
Speaker 7: Looks like he bawls the heavy foot.
Speaker 8: He's already dug up a bit of a dividend there,
Speaker 8: bowler's end.
Speaker 5: Here he comes bride and cast upon three slips. That's
Speaker 5: a bit of delivery. It's full angle into middle and off.
Speaker 1: It's been about four extras so far in this match.
Speaker 1: If I'm just looking at my brain, are you looking
Speaker 1: at your brain? Well? I tend to, you know, it's
Speaker 1: I'm visualized. I see my brain working.
Speaker 5: He sort of look at your brain and a way,
Speaker 5: don't you ye.
Speaker 1: Great when you're steamed, because it's it's like watching it's
Speaker 1: like going to a core Play concert.
Speaker 5: It just cuts Williams forces him back when some jumps
Speaker 5: on the crease, guides that to cover point for a single.
Speaker 1: He's off the mark, came Williams.
Speaker 5: He's taken them fourteen balls.
Speaker 1: That's Lee. I know you're a big cold Play fan,
Speaker 1: and you mentioned the concert twice I think when they
Speaker 1: were here, and that's all the wristbands here. I know
Speaker 1: you went as well with the kids. Imagine everybody that
Speaker 1: leeducated all those things at one time. What a should
Speaker 1: show that would have been?
Speaker 7: Could someone have hacked the system?
Speaker 1: Talking about by the Israelis.
Speaker 8: Or the or the Iranians for that matter, Mossad.
Speaker 1: So what he's saying is everyone's probably not the right
Speaker 1: format for that chat, but it's it's worth you know,
Speaker 1: it's worth discussion. Lath and monstrike.
Speaker 5: He's on thirty two, facing cars coming over the wicket
Speaker 5: edges through the vacant fourth slip region and that all
Speaker 5: race their way for four. It's a good delivery from cars,
Speaker 5: head Latham driving in a little bit of extra bounce,
Speaker 5: a little movement away, a little bit lucky thrown Latham.
Speaker 1: I think I'm just weary of technology. I think I
Speaker 1: think that's the thing. Just you know, how far is
Speaker 1: it going to go? Anyone's locked in on these wristbands
Speaker 1: that light up at the same time with the music.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to be controlled on that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm with you on that.
Speaker 8: I don't want to be controlled by Elon Musk or
Speaker 8: anyone else.
Speaker 5: Was that who was controlling?
Speaker 7: Was it? Think he controls everything?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 5: He was like in a DJ booth, this is short
Speaker 5: from cars and let them swayze out of the way.
Speaker 5: So on thirty six Williamson's one New Zealand forty three
Speaker 5: for one after team, I.
Speaker 8: Mean, what's the worst you can do hacking into fifty
Speaker 8: thousand people's electric wristbands?
Speaker 7: What's the capability of those ristbands? Kill everybody?
Speaker 1: And welcome to the starting there is.
Speaker 8: I wonder who that was? That was someone on the
Speaker 8: rival broadcast TV and Z. It's called a fanbassador. I
Speaker 8: like that, Yes, yes, fanbassador.
Speaker 1: Good lucking man.
Speaker 8: Speaking of crowd technology that can be deployed to enhanced
Speaker 8: viewing experience. Can can you get groundeers New Zealand grounds
Speaker 8: where you can tune into the commentary.
Speaker 7: Because that's something waiting to happen. Why don't we have
Speaker 7: that huge.
Speaker 5: To have that with the ACC we had some terrible
Speaker 5: problems with.
Speaker 8: With that and we were pioneers on the wrong side
Speaker 8: of history with that technology.
Speaker 5: Is Williamson facing Wikes. It's full and straight and played
Speaker 5: with a straight back by Williamson.
Speaker 1: No run, but yeah, it was that. I think the
Speaker 1: problem with how grand is if I remember rightly, I
Speaker 1: know what match it was. But the problem with our
Speaker 1: grand is they were playing the match previous, you know,
Speaker 1: to the match that people were watching, because you know
Speaker 1: they weren't we're actually playing last week's match. What's the
Speaker 1: kind of pointless.
Speaker 7: We just put our best foot forward.
Speaker 8: We thought it was some of our best works, so
Speaker 8: you didn't realize the audience really wanted live common.
Speaker 1: Try get to for one and get this game and
Speaker 1: last week's game.
Speaker 7: I mean we're an in statement product.
Speaker 8: I'm pretty sure the story of that features in the
Speaker 8: a SEC Almanac.
Speaker 7: Mounting Yeah out now. Of course they're all good bookstores.
Speaker 5: Worke's boiling with four slips in a galley, comes into Williamson,
Speaker 5: who's own one. This one seems backstrokes Williamson on the
Speaker 5: pad and there's no run. I think our first ever
Speaker 5: broadcast with those years and the ground years, someone accidentally
Speaker 5: tuned in and they got the I think they thought
Speaker 5: they were getting possibly the rady in New Zealand broadcast
Speaker 5: and I think Lee you were describing there was a
Speaker 5: complaint made to the Broadcasting Standards Authority. You were describing
Speaker 5: how you'd buried your dead cat in the Upfield park.
Speaker 5: It's a true story, of course. But there's Wokes again,
Speaker 5: and there's time. It's let go by Williamson. You pay
Speaker 5: for your ground is. That's maybe not what you signed
Speaker 5: up for.
Speaker 1: I don't know we would call it bonus footage, bonus audio,
Speaker 1: but hey, you know, ish their own.
Speaker 5: Sometimes you'd see people who were who were where in
Speaker 5: the ground is and they were reasonably close to the caravan.
Speaker 5: You could tell that they'd accidentally purchased them and they
Speaker 5: didn't purchase them because they were listening to us, and
Speaker 5: you just watch their faces.
Speaker 1: You were delivering lines. You see someone vomiting sometimes.
Speaker 5: Well ebsent on one facing Wokes, it's full. Williamson resists
Speaker 5: the big drive, just defends it with soft hands to Gully,
Speaker 5: no run forty three for one.
Speaker 8: The incident you're referring to, gentlemen, is of course preserved
Speaker 8: for posterity in the ACC Almanac, which is out now.
Speaker 7: And it was a letter that came in from Barry.
Speaker 8: I think of Takabooner for memory, who had got the
Speaker 8: ground is very excited. Was expecting I think, I guess
Speaker 8: you'd call the mainstream commentary got the ACC instead. But
Speaker 8: what was remarkable is that he remembered so much of
Speaker 8: the detail of what we were talking about, which I'll
Speaker 8: take money through.
Speaker 5: In the minute works again, Sir Williamson defends watchfully off
Speaker 5: the front foot no run.
Speaker 8: So Barry said, there was a ten to fifteen minute
Speaker 8: slot where one commentator was obsessed with the different types
Speaker 8: of protective cricket boxes and continue to talk about the
Speaker 8: intricate details of that part of the male anatomy protected.
Speaker 8: Then there was an account of taking a cat to
Speaker 8: eaton park, with the suggestion by another commentator that this
Speaker 8: could have been useful to smuggle a bottle of vodka
Speaker 8: up at anus.
Speaker 5: I remember that, well Is Williamson on one face quote
Speaker 5: goes backs down there.
Speaker 1: That sounds stupid now, But it's all.
Speaker 8: About context, that's right, I mean, And that's not really that,
Speaker 8: that's not the key part. The fact is we went on,
Speaker 8: we explored that option that led to a description this
Speaker 8: is barrier talking of how the cat was buried under
Speaker 8: the Eden Park turf and opened up into a full
Speaker 8: discussion of how to dispose of human remains, with an
Speaker 8: account of how one commentated disposed of his stepfather's ashes.
Speaker 8: Listeners were then invited to talk about how they had disposed.
Speaker 7: Of ashes.
Speaker 1: Those of the glory days, you know.
Speaker 7: They really were Actually this is classic casey see.
Speaker 8: Then there were comments on the smallness of Trent Bolt's mouth,
Speaker 8: with a suggestion that his mother probably had small nipples,
Speaker 8: followed by discussion on one of the Australian players being
Speaker 8: a lesbian. This is a barrier of tacaparity, and we
Speaker 8: went on to conclude a product like this which is
Speaker 8: officially sponsored by New Zealand cricket brings your organization and
Speaker 8: the game into some serious disrepute.
Speaker 1: I'm just peace to call it a product.
Speaker 2: Yeah, boundary pushing commentary with no pets. This is the
Speaker 2: alternative commentary collective.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders Atrazine.
Speaker 4: I wasn't likely. I preferred not to have a full erection.
Speaker 3: I would go sei, yeah, because I always I always
Speaker 3: felt a semi is more impressive and less intimidated, or
Speaker 3: a semi is more attractive than a full rager.
Speaker 9: And please forgive me if this is asking too much,
Speaker 9: jas I'm just trying to get a mental image circumcised.
Speaker 1: Yes so, but the you know, but if you had
Speaker 1: a full erection is suggesting Jason limits some of your shots.
Speaker 4: It does.
Speaker 3: Well, that's actually what stopped me from going out with
Speaker 3: a full erection. I tried to play a non drive
Speaker 3: one day and nearly snapped it in half armed. So yeah,
Speaker 3: that was that was a lesson learned.
Speaker 9: And is the physio offer their services when you do
Speaker 9: get an abrasion.
Speaker 3: It brought out the magic spray, which just makes it worse,
Speaker 3: makes it worse, actually stiffens it up a bit.
Speaker 9: That's got any magic spray floating around the studio. Do
Speaker 9: we wouldn't mind a we spray on the downstairs. Just
Speaker 9: want to rate myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you've gotta be careful the first time to
Speaker 1: do it. You might just blow your bone.
Speaker 4: It's been done before, beautiful day Christ your fool.
Speaker 1: Look at that.
Speaker 4: That's magnificent.
Speaker 3: Is ack and some cums and bowls to ratching outside
Speaker 3: the off stump.
Speaker 1: And it is the same pogitical game. I remember you
Speaker 1: used to go out as you say, no box aren't
Speaker 1: clearly with an erection semi probably your case, but with
Speaker 1: the box taped to your head, yes, helmet suggesting this
Speaker 1: is how I'm going to play. So how he bolt
Speaker 1: he bowlders among.
Speaker 4: That exactly exactly confused the bowler.
Speaker 9: And would you wear it sort of over your nose
Speaker 9: and mouth like a bay on my forehead like a rhino.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've got to be back in the day that
Speaker 3: the helmets wasn't such a big thing.
Speaker 4: No, it wasn't so no helmet it was.
Speaker 3: It was frowned upon if you wore a helmet back
Speaker 3: in the day. Atkinson now comes into ratchet Revenger who
Speaker 3: hingles the bat and beats the man at gully with
Speaker 3: the miss field actually and they'll get a single.
Speaker 9: So just to get this correct, so it's frowned upon
Speaker 9: to wear a helmet, but walking out with a full
Speaker 9: or semi erexed penis and a box strapped your head,
Speaker 9: that was that was Koshit exactly.
Speaker 4: Right, It's exactly that's exactly how it was.
Speaker 9: We're looking at some of these ideas through the black caps.
Speaker 1: That's old school stuff. You say that now and people
Speaker 1: go they don't believe it, But that's that's how it
Speaker 1: used to be.
Speaker 9: Absolutely, you were never worried about copping one on the
Speaker 9: end of the dob.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the point. If you don't have a
Speaker 1: box on, you're you're less likely, if you know what
Speaker 1: i mean. If you've got a helmet on, you're less
Speaker 1: you're more likely to take one in the head than
Speaker 1: if you don't. You know what I'm saying. You get
Speaker 1: out of the way.
Speaker 3: Atkinson outside the off stump to Williamson, no run it
Speaker 3: and it Tony. It portrays to the bowler when you're
Speaker 3: out there with a full erection, I'm confident.
Speaker 1: You're not going to hit my erection.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how good my batting is I'm coming out
Speaker 3: here with a full erection. Yeah, and it's let's be frank,
Speaker 3: a big target and.
Speaker 1: Puts them off their line. They start bowling at it,
Speaker 1: and that's the last thing that says done.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're just tucking it off your hip.
Speaker 9: Then it's a red rag to a ball. I can
Speaker 9: see that now, no glove.
Speaker 2: Just bear knuckle broadcasting. This is the alternative Jerry collective.
Speaker 1: Oh, thanks to the great New Zealanders at resume.
Speaker 5: You know, there was a very strange situation when we
Speaker 5: were at commentary school. Wasn't there LEAs cast comes in again,
Speaker 5: goes to Mitchell, tickles it away behind square, I think
Speaker 5: about two, but it's not there.
Speaker 1: And it was.
Speaker 5: It was Brian Waddell and Jeremy Coney who were our
Speaker 5: teachers at commentary schools, And well, let's just say that
Speaker 5: Brian Model was doing something to Jeremy Coney that was
Speaker 5: very difficult for him to commentate while he was doing.
Speaker 1: It's his mouth was full.
Speaker 5: Of Jeremy Coney actually a part of Jeremy Coney anyway,
Speaker 5: and really proved the point.
Speaker 1: To us coming what the point was? Though, why do
Speaker 1: you remember that day? Though? I think then we break
Speaker 1: for lunchon we in the afternoon, we now afternoon. I
Speaker 1: think We've talked about microphone technique and what I've learned.
Speaker 1: You know, just because you've gone to commentary school, you've
Speaker 1: got a degree in commentary, doesn't mean you're a good commentator.
Speaker 1: That really annoys me that you get these people that
Speaker 1: come through that you know, because they've got a degree
Speaker 1: in commentary, they think a good commentator is they're not.
Speaker 1: You know, it doesn't give you the right to be
Speaker 1: a top commentator.
Speaker 9: No, it's somethings you learn on the job. Like Glane's
Speaker 9: maybe do that to him countless times on the call
Speaker 9: for no reason.
Speaker 1: It's car sicking in three slips.
Speaker 5: Right, there's Williamson going back and rising and guiding it
Speaker 5: to the first of the second gullies.
Speaker 1: The main thing I learned from commentary school is schedules.
Speaker 1: I mean, if they say can you do commentary on Thursday,
Speaker 1: and go no, not up, but how I'm good for
Speaker 1: Wednesday And they say, well, the test doesn't start till Thursday,
Speaker 1: and then you go, well, it's not good to me.
Speaker 1: So you've got to fit in with what's happening with
Speaker 1: the game. And that's the first thing you learn, and
Speaker 1: it's that simple. And once you learn that, it's a
Speaker 1: lot easier you stop ringing up and saying, look, I'm
Speaker 1: not available, or can you change it? You know.
Speaker 9: Yeah, there's been carless days here at the AC studio
Speaker 9: where I have come in for various reasons and seeing
Speaker 9: you here sort of looking around saying when are we commentating?
Speaker 9: And I have to say, you know, there's no test
Speaker 9: this month.
Speaker 1: That's no good to me.
Speaker 9: Can in the middle of winter?
Speaker 1: Can't we pre record my bits? Yeah?
Speaker 9: Time later before a super rugby ficture. Perhaps we'll be
Speaker 9: here seven o'clock on a Saturday night. She's about play
Speaker 9: the Highlands and you're walking, you know, ready for a
Speaker 9: credit commentary.
Speaker 1: I'm just doing carlor stuff. Anyway, it's not going to change.
Speaker 1: I can pre record that. Whack it in there.
Speaker 9: Later we could get a button bar with just some
Speaker 9: lee Hart chat help with fire off any stage. To
Speaker 9: be honest, this conversation could be.
Speaker 1: I mean a lot of the stands haying going to
Speaker 1: change within the day, you know, I've talked to Mike
Speaker 1: about that. Later I might get a year's with a
Speaker 1: commentary done.
Speaker 9: We could blanket and voice.
Speaker 5: Williamson forces him back, pushes it to cover point no
Speaker 5: run cars is one for thirty three or fight point
Speaker 5: five New Zealand one thirty two for three.
Speaker 9: We could also preload into this button bar, maybe some
Speaker 9: problematic comments about an app that identifies the ethnicities of
Speaker 9: different drivers, until we fire that off from timetime as well.
Speaker 1: Totally pre record a whole lot of apologies in previous commentaries.
Speaker 9: There must be a collection somewhere.
Speaker 1: Well used to get a whole lot of things. Come
Speaker 1: back to Youj's back to you, Jerry back to you,
Speaker 1: Toney you know jack him in.
Speaker 5: Cast again bowling to Williamson. He goes, pulls it away nicely.
Speaker 4: In time.
Speaker 5: It perfectly for sheer runs around from deep back with
Speaker 5: square or do the fielding. They'll get two and Williamson
Speaker 5: moves to forty New Zealand one thirty four for three.
Speaker 9: Hel on a rugby commentary once We did famously cross
Speaker 9: the g lane for some pre recorded commentary at the
Speaker 9: ground and was unfortunately some of the worst content you
Speaker 9: will ever hear. He may as well have been in
Speaker 9: the different room just imagining he was there. It's very
Speaker 9: uninsightful stuff. So he might be reluctant to allow you
Speaker 9: such loose parameters.
Speaker 1: Nearly I knew re member I was banned from the
Speaker 1: Black Clash commentary. I believe I was field report off
Speaker 1: in the quarterback and houd on the field. I think
Speaker 1: Mike or something. I think he's been banned as well,
Speaker 1: now for for all the other reasons. But Lee, what's
Speaker 1: the vibe down on the ground by the chips? And and
Speaker 1: I said, I don't know when you come down, phone
Speaker 1: out yourself, you know what I mean? And for some
Speaker 1: reason they didn't resonate with the TIVYDD crew. I was just,
Speaker 1: you know, I just how would I know any different?
Speaker 9: Well, I often find that infuriating when the commentator this,
Speaker 9: how's the vibe down there in the stands, You're like,
Speaker 9: you can see it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, he's stupid.
Speaker 9: You assume how it is. You can hear it, you
Speaker 9: can see it. You've been your crew game before. Yeah,
Speaker 9: make it.
Speaker 1: Up, old peace, no protection.
Speaker 2: This is the Alternative commentary Collective, all thanks.
Speaker 1: To the great New Zealanders at Max ra Per.
Speaker 9: You ever fired off any photos of the downstairs sooner
Speaker 9: and liha, No, thank you?
Speaker 1: I not really?
Speaker 5: No, not really is so that's an interesting answer.
Speaker 1: There's room there. Yeah, can you hear member, Mike, because
Speaker 1: it and are out. I can't. Yeah, not really Like
Speaker 1: back in my heyday when that might have been a
Speaker 1: I'd have to go to one hour photo lab, get
Speaker 1: them printed out, you know, and then post them to
Speaker 1: the person that's it doesn't hold up in court.
Speaker 9: So well, yeah, there's the person with the big black
Speaker 9: hood over them, sort of bursting some phosphorus to flash it.
Speaker 1: And sometimes those photos would come out out the window.
Speaker 1: You know. You could see the photos coming out with
Speaker 1: the one alfho lab everybody else's photos.
Speaker 9: Yeah, you can see them being developed. There were some
Speaker 9: Sheldan waiting for their ball photos. They get a ball
Speaker 9: photo of yours.
Speaker 1: And then the chemist was a chemist somebody who go
Speaker 1: do you want those enlarged sir? Okay?
Speaker 5: Best following to Williams those full defensey on the pitch, I.
Speaker 1: Met us half tiny, you're you're a bit of a.
Speaker 10: I can'ts a.
Speaker 9: You can say I'm often firing off.
Speaker 1: It's very hard. I mean, I'm not saying I've tried,
Speaker 1: but it's very hard to get a good photo it.
Speaker 9: I think she just use other people's no one needs
Speaker 9: to know that it is indeed mine, just as long
Speaker 9: as it If it's apeck, then it's that's our pit.
Speaker 1: You just got to get the right color. Don't you
Speaker 1: send it? You go online? I suppose you can download
Speaker 1: a photo.
Speaker 9: I have to find the colors a little bit off anyway,
Speaker 9: even on my own. There's something going on down there.
Speaker 9: It's maybe a few shades up.
Speaker 5: We're down this year again, bowling to Williamson, a little
Speaker 5: bit wider and looked up using the breeze.
Speaker 1: Defended by Williamson one for three.
Speaker 9: Find if you go a few shades darky, you'll think
Speaker 9: you'd a couple more centimeters as well.
Speaker 1: So in the winter, if you got a tan on you,
Speaker 1: it looks healthier, doesn't it.
Speaker 9: Well, especially if it's not yours, it looks incredibly healthy.
Speaker 1: Defended the Williamson. I've just got a member to take
Speaker 1: that stop photo kind of embossed.
Speaker 9: Yeah, the Giddy's image part off the side.
Speaker 1: To take that off, pop that out.
Speaker 9: It's a lot to pay for a Giddy sponsorship just
Speaker 9: to send a picture for someone cover it out on photoshop.
Speaker 9: But they can tell the watermark off the picture. They'll
Speaker 9: get you in trouble.
Speaker 1: From the shir But I remember you telling me this, Jerry.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're going to be sending a deck peck,
Speaker 1: you know you don't want to be. You know, it's
Speaker 1: not something you want to do often. So make it count.
Speaker 1: Send it to thirty forty people at once, you know
Speaker 1: it kind of canvass them if you like.
Speaker 9: I find doing it by email is very effective. So
Speaker 9: you can actually put on the email address, you know,
Speaker 9: put yourself in the sind column, but you.
Speaker 1: Don't blame copy it. So you make sure you can
Speaker 1: see everyone else, that god.
Speaker 10: Everyone else.
Speaker 9: You want to have maybe thirty forty people in the CC.
Speaker 9: They can see friend's emails. They know that there's some competition.
Speaker 9: Open the attachment.
Speaker 1: A few of them are gonna go, oh yeah, yak yak,
Speaker 1: and they might talk to each other about it, but
Speaker 1: a lot of them will be as you say, I've
Speaker 1: got competition here, and this guy has sent my deck
Speaker 1: back to forty people on his friends list.
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's a silly A lot to think about. Do
Speaker 9: you leave your work email signature on the email? Sweet worker?
Speaker 1: Suppose that's pretty harmless fun though, really, isn't it?
Speaker 9: You know, silly can be.
Speaker 1: He comes Outkinson.
Speaker 5: Oh, this is nipped back off the sceam as Mitchell's
Speaker 5: shoulders arms, but it was too high. Just a half
Speaker 5: shout from the England team. One forty eight for three.
Speaker 5: This one really noodled back. Actually has been a little
Speaker 5: bit of c movement in the last week while so
Speaker 5: pitch dries out a little bit bit of extra bounce
Speaker 5: on the Haglely oval track.
Speaker 9: Look to leave it struck him right on the legs.
Speaker 5: Mitchell's three or eight William since fifty two from one
Speaker 5: hundred and four deliveries, striking exactly fifty Zatkinson comes in again,
Speaker 5: digging it in, sliding down the leg side just underneath
Speaker 5: the armpit of Mitchell.
Speaker 1: Proll be good hit.
Speaker 9: And Atkinson's got a little bit of it looks like
Speaker 9: zinc on the end of the Schneiers, but I only
Speaker 9: needed the schneiz so it looks like he's maybe been
Speaker 9: eating a donut or having a pint of guinness. Dipped
Speaker 9: his nose in and carried on with his day.
Speaker 5: One for three is Atkinson comes in again too, Matchell.
Speaker 5: This is short which it goes back, just works the
Speaker 5: behind square on the legs side for a single Yeah,
Speaker 5: the whole Dick pic.
Speaker 1: Thing Tony is interesting concept, doesn't it. I mean, very work.
Speaker 1: When did that? When did that start?
Speaker 9: I'd say it's as old as time. I'd say, when
Speaker 9: you see that in Pompei, you see the penises carved
Speaker 9: into the stone, I think that was probably someone sending
Speaker 9: a dictic they were chiseling in their manhood and hope
Speaker 9: that someone else might see it at some point. Yeah,
Speaker 9: I say, for long of men have had venises, they've
Speaker 9: probably have been sending pictures of them to ladies and
Speaker 9: men for that matter.
Speaker 5: So do something you don't see a lot of nowadays,
Speaker 5: and that's flashing. No very popular in the nineteen seventies,
Speaker 5: nineteen eighties. It's fallen by the wayside in recent years.
Speaker 9: How did he get the coats?
Speaker 7: I reckon it constant.
Speaker 5: Again this short Williamson sways out of the way of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Again, flashing is quite cool because it's very quick
Speaker 1: kit and a lot of it's to your imagination. Where
Speaker 1: is looking, Dick. Think the's something that's there for all
Speaker 1: the time, downloaded and whatever.
Speaker 9: I've been flashed. I've been victim of a flashing on
Speaker 9: a train and going to tell you very disconcerting. It's
Speaker 9: very it takes your singing to realize what's going on.
Speaker 9: Just a young gentleman. He's actually wasn't young at all.
Speaker 9: He was older fella down the other end, and he
Speaker 9: was looking at me for a long period of time
Speaker 9: and he's making ye contact with me, and I was
Speaker 9: it's with a female companion at the time.
Speaker 1: At consent.
Speaker 5: This is short and Williamson gets out of the way
Speaker 5: of it for nine to three.
Speaker 9: And I was looking down and thinking, what is this guy?
Speaker 9: He's looking at us at what does he want? And
Speaker 9: as I was looking at and I sort of glanced
Speaker 9: down and he just he has his piece out just
Speaker 9: in hand, steering at us, grinning.
Speaker 1: What was he wearing.
Speaker 9: It's a very very very normal clothes, very typical. He
Speaker 9: wasn't in the classic jump you know, the big old
Speaker 9: flash head round, which is what I would have expected.
Speaker 9: I looked down, Oh, there's the piece. He granted us
Speaker 9: to it, gave us a wencoln.
Speaker 1: So how did he face it to you?
Speaker 9: He just very casually exposed himself. He pulled his pans down,
Speaker 9: don't know, just sit about the front over the top
Speaker 9: of the pad.
Speaker 1: Good on him.
Speaker 5: A short and again Williamson sways out of the waiver
Speaker 5: into the over. We must come back to this thirty
Speaker 5: seven gone one, forty nine to three.
Speaker 2: The commentary that makes even doc Balls sound good. This
Speaker 2: is the alternative commentary collective.
Speaker 1: Oh, thanks to the great New Zealanders at max RA.
Speaker 1: You were talking about nichols before, and which I suppose
Speaker 1: is related to breasts. Yes, I met a you know,
Speaker 1: an olden wine and she had press, Yes, with a punt.
Speaker 1: Is it normally silicon? Silicon?
Speaker 11: I think that's just yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 10: Augmentation.
Speaker 1: Yes, she's done is quite clever. She's put wine.
Speaker 11: Casks in there, that's cast the ass short and ducked
Speaker 11: under by Williamson. Okay, so do you refel, refill them
Speaker 11: up and drain them.
Speaker 1: She's got those taps literally on her nipples.
Speaker 10: Oh right, the cast from the little plastic. And so
Speaker 10: she's got a couple of goon sets.
Speaker 1: In there, well literally and one side of shadona the
Speaker 1: other is sad.
Speaker 7: And so she's gone all white. She couldn't go white red.
Speaker 1: Stand of night. She's got quite big hooters.
Speaker 11: Cass short and pulled by Williamson, ou to mid wicket,
Speaker 11: but there's a man back for the pool shop.
Speaker 10: He thought, let's get a single.
Speaker 1: By the end of the night. By the end of the
Speaker 1: night not so big, well drewpy, but everyone's read out.
Speaker 8: They're so drunk they don't notice that her breasts are
Speaker 8: shrunk one and they're not size anymore.
Speaker 10: But you can refill them pretty easily.
Speaker 7: Case, how do you read them?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm not.
Speaker 10: Cascassie Ayes too short, Mitchell Pulse. This one it's up
Speaker 10: in the air. It's up in the air. Man underneath.
Speaker 1: It takes a catch.
Speaker 2: He looked at Pollard and he ended up flying down
Speaker 2: to third man, Old Pete.
Speaker 1: No prodiction.
Speaker 2: This is the Alternative Commentary collective poll thanks.
Speaker 1: To the great New Zealanders at Max Raw.
Speaker 7: It's a nice castile chat.
Speaker 10: Well, yeah, that's going back.
Speaker 11: That is when I was experimenting, well we were experimenting
Speaker 11: with a girlfriend and you know, I decided to. There
Speaker 11: was a little bit of pushback around changing lanes.
Speaker 1: Was it.
Speaker 11: Yeah, so I decided to. I was exploring myself in
Speaker 11: the showers and comes quicks back just fiends as Williamson
Speaker 11: and know it was back there, just cleaning things up
Speaker 11: and I thought, you know, I find about to I
Speaker 11: need to get the feeling of it, and so I
Speaker 11: wept it, take of soap up.
Speaker 7: Mass and it was a nice castile, was it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 10: Sharp hitches?
Speaker 1: I mean you don't want to use a brand new one.
Speaker 1: Why did you have sharp sharp edges?
Speaker 11: Well, you know the nights the new Cake of Knights
Speaker 11: castile is quite sharp.
Speaker 10: I just got the corner of it up there.
Speaker 11: You took it out of the back of eight Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah,
Speaker 11: I took it quos odd edged old just fall short
Speaker 11: of root at first slip.
Speaker 10: It was a genuine edge from Williamson.
Speaker 11: Just didn't quite carry to Joe route.
Speaker 1: But that had a rope on it that it was No, no, didn't.
Speaker 10: It's quite dangerous.
Speaker 1: I'd be more comfortable if they had a rope on it.
Speaker 10: Yes, So there's a lot of things that were going wrong.
Speaker 1: With that's why it was invented.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I'll tell you what that That is what we
Speaker 8: love about Cain Williamson. Soap on the rope, the nice castille,
Speaker 8: but the soft hands, soft enough that it dropped a
Speaker 8: good foot before Joe root first slip, and thank God for.
Speaker 10: That, and say soft hands of Kam Willimson. He's eighty
Speaker 10: not out.
Speaker 8: Well, maybe that's why his hands are so soft. Years
Speaker 8: of Night's Casteele.
Speaker 10: Yeah, but that was that was a long long time ago.
Speaker 10: I mean I was, I'm talking.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make any twenties. It doesn't make it correct,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 11: No, it's just very conscious about, you know, making sure
Speaker 11: if it did change lanes, that it was legal.
Speaker 10: Any consensure. Then comes murder She works until Williamson. Williamson
Speaker 10: back defends. It's a good ball, just back of a
Speaker 10: length from murder. He murder she Wokes.
Speaker 7: So you're calling a murder she Wokes.
Speaker 8: That's our initial nickname for Chris Wokes. But Tony Larle
Speaker 8: prefers the woke's mind virus to feel it's a bit
Speaker 8: more twenty twenty four.
Speaker 10: Right, Okay, how many people know murder she works?
Speaker 7: It's nice. I like it. It's a nice pop culture reference.
Speaker 10: What was the one? Was a bone was going for.
Speaker 8: Angela Sainsbury tea bone's going for a woke's mind virus.
Speaker 11: Well, that's another good delivery from Wolkes.
Speaker 8: Angela Lansbury, Angela Lansbury or she was murdered?
Speaker 7: She she wrote, Yes.
Speaker 8: I'm not sure how many valousners would know would recognize
Speaker 8: that name.
Speaker 11: But she's bouncing all over the place. Don't we snap
Speaker 11: on a rope?
Speaker 7: Let's still make soap on a rope?
Speaker 10: Oh yeah, now are you?
Speaker 7: Why is it on a road?
Speaker 11: Exactly what Lisa is incomes Wokes and it's wide and
Speaker 11: cut by Williamson down to the boundary for four. Too
Speaker 11: much wet from Quokes and Williamson goes to eighty four
Speaker 11: in New Zealand two hundred and seven for four. But
Speaker 11: it's it's obvious, Lee Baker. Why it's got to break
Speaker 11: on it as Lisa? So if you do lose it
Speaker 11: up your backside, you can pull it back out again, right, Yeah,
Speaker 11: what do you think it's.
Speaker 1: Why do you think a whold of fruit and veges
Speaker 1: has got to rope on it? Yeah?
Speaker 7: Why do I think a whole lot of fruit vegees
Speaker 7: has got to rope on it?
Speaker 1: In its name? Blake?
Speaker 7: He said in my space All.
Speaker 8: Right, yeah, it's gonna say, I loc market. None of
Speaker 8: the fruit vegees have got ropes on them.
Speaker 2: The commentary that makes even top balls sound good. This
Speaker 2: is the alternative commentary Collective, all thanks.
Speaker 1: To the great New Zealanders at Max Rath.
Speaker 10: It's good. It's got an electric chord coming out of it,
Speaker 10: so it must.
Speaker 4: Have lighter we'll speaking to you.
Speaker 1: Remember that girl I was talking about who had the
Speaker 1: wine cart and plants and the breasts. Yes, there's a future.
Speaker 1: I didn't a feature I didn't actually mention. So you've
Speaker 1: obviously got like a red or white wine option left
Speaker 1: or right with charonay Rose whatever you know. You can
Speaker 1: change it.
Speaker 7: As you do.
Speaker 1: What she also had, which I thought was an ingenious thing,
Speaker 1: was a vape charger called well, you know a thing
Speaker 1: that is worth.
Speaker 10: Like a USB port?
Speaker 1: Yes, full delivery from emity. People drink wine and they
Speaker 1: always want to charge their babes.
Speaker 8: Now I dare I ask where was the USB port
Speaker 8: on her body?
Speaker 1: Or just it was between the breasts? Okay, between the cleavage. Yep.
Speaker 7: Wow, this woman is some piece of bionary.
Speaker 1: See why she's popular ound parties.
Speaker 9: Absolutely sounds like the total package, total.
Speaker 1: Package, so literally the full package.
Speaker 7: Can she charged the laptop off that USB one hundred
Speaker 7: and twenty?
Speaker 11: What's Atkinson? And to Smith, he's back across and defense.
Speaker 11: He's defended his first three balls in test cricket.
Speaker 1: Comfortably?
Speaker 7: Is it USB B or USBC.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the problem, you see, because it keeps changing.
Speaker 1: Everything's upgraded, so you know, I think you had like
Speaker 1: an adapter thing there so you could actually put your friend.
Speaker 10: Well I like about the charging pad? Is it because
Speaker 10: just put your phone on it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 8: See if a modern woman would be wireless, if she's
Speaker 8: doing it today, would be do you want rose?
Speaker 7: Do you want Chardonnay? Put your phone in my wireless?
Speaker 10: Yest?
Speaker 1: Can I have a glass wine? And can I change
Speaker 1: my phone? I don't want to talk to you, but
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 8: That's and the phone can just slip between if she's wireless, though,
Speaker 8: she's probably going to have to be horizontal for that
Speaker 8: wireless charging pad to work.
Speaker 10: No, not if you put it in between.
Speaker 1: I mean, well ironically off and she was.
Speaker 7: It's just amazing what they can do nowadays.
Speaker 1: Just because you can do something, that doesn't mean you
Speaker 1: should though. That's that's what I always say.
Speaker 11: But she into Phillips Zippy from Rainbow was back and
Speaker 11: fins back to the bowl.
Speaker 8: I mean, what a great marketing opportunity this woman must
Speaker 8: have been to wine makers. What a great way to
Speaker 8: showcase new Zealand Wine to the world, take her abroad, yep.
Speaker 1: I mean she's she's a wine festival floats this brash
Speaker 1: year full toss.
Speaker 11: There was cash in near Phillips, but he scampers through
Speaker 11: for a single. Was a big rank full toss. But
Speaker 11: he couldn't be.
Speaker 1: The man festival and stilettos. That's what she was.
Speaker 7: Did she have cuts?
Speaker 8: She must have custom made bras and stuff, right, because
Speaker 8: the size of the breasts are going to change.
Speaker 1: Yes, So how does that work? It's kind of like
Speaker 1: it's above it's above my pay grade. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but you know, I think I think maybe the wine
Speaker 1: company made the bra for him.
Speaker 10: My year into Smith.
Speaker 11: In my head, I've never I've never met this, this
Speaker 11: this person. But in my head I'm imagine like a
Speaker 11: fembot kind of look, you know, and powers. But with yeah,
Speaker 11: year into Smith and Smith we'll get off the mark.
Speaker 11: The beautiful shot, well timed through the we'll just get
Speaker 11: too but he's off the mark successfully. There's Nathan Smith
Speaker 11: and he gets a nice round of applause, and the
Speaker 11: two fifty is up as well for using on turn
Speaker 11: and fifty for six in the sixty eighth over Zach.
Speaker 1: Who won't make you know she she's an detected woman,
Speaker 1: you know, in every sense of the word beautiful person.
Speaker 1: But has these wine cask gress and why not?
Speaker 7: I want to make it clear. The breasts are not
Speaker 7: square like a cast.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, they're taking the box off and it's
Speaker 1: just the silver or the or the plastic, the goockladders,
Speaker 1: the good sack.
Speaker 11: Ye.
Speaker 8: So it's funny that this is a lot about you,
Speaker 8: Mike Land, that you're imagining. You are imagining torpedo tests
Speaker 8: because where I'm thinking goon sack, I'm thinking like angelous
Speaker 8: breasts of wine.
Speaker 11: Lash here and to Smith, he drives this confidently wide
Speaker 11: of I've met off, and you'll get a single confident
Speaker 11: cricket from the dead Tom.
Speaker 10: That's the end of the over. In New Zealander two
Speaker 10: hundred and fifty one.
Speaker 2: Per six coverage, you'll never leave, even when it's outside
Speaker 2: the line. This is the alternative commentary collective.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders at Regime