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Speaker 1: The ZM podcast Network.

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Speaker 2: My mind just like snapped and it took a long

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Speaker 2: time to recover. I really am just a boy trying

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Speaker 2: to enjoy himself. I do that non apologetically. All I

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Speaker 2: feel is just a deep sense of gratitude, Like I

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Speaker 2: am so overwhelmingly grateful for just existence.

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Speaker 3: Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Hope Israel,

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Speaker 3: the podcast. The podcast designed to help you feel a

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Speaker 3: little less alone, a bit more inspired, and of course,

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Speaker 3: as always, a lot more hopeful. Now, today's guest is

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Speaker 3: a guy that you will know. You will have seen

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Speaker 3: his face. He is the man behind the twenty two hat.

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Speaker 3: He is the man involved in I think one of

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Speaker 3: TikTok's most famous love triangles.

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Speaker 1: It's Oliver Mills. Now Oliver.

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Speaker 3: For those of you who may have listened to last

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Speaker 3: season of the podcast, he was on last season. If

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Speaker 3: you haven't listened to the episode, please pause this one

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Speaker 3: right now, go back, listen to his other one, and

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Speaker 3: then come back to this one. Because the man who

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Speaker 3: is sitting in front of me today on this episode

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Speaker 3: is so different to the person who sat down with

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Speaker 3: me a year ago. The growth that Oliver's had has

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Speaker 3: been phenomenal, and his mental health journey is one. As

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Speaker 3: we all know, mental health goes up and down, and

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Speaker 3: it's such a journey to kind of live with.

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Speaker 1: But he lived a lot of his life with depression.

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Speaker 3: He had hospital stays, and the last time that I

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Speaker 3: sat down with him, he was really in the mindset

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Speaker 3: that his depression was his identity and it's just who

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Speaker 3: he was and no matter what he did, it would

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Speaker 3: never change. But now he's began to realize a lot

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Speaker 3: of the stuff around self care and the importance of

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Speaker 3: being kind to yourself. And this episode we talking about

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Speaker 3: everything from of course, the iconic Taylor Swift moment, what happened,

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Speaker 3: how the heck did he get chosen for this hat,

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Speaker 3: the fact Taylor Swift thinks he's the funniest person on earth, like,

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh, what to this love triangle? To dealing

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Speaker 3: with mental health and the career that he's in. It's

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Speaker 3: really kind of an update on life, but also helping

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Speaker 3: you understand that what you necessarily see on a screen

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Speaker 3: of maybe someone's life going really well doesn't always mean

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Speaker 3: that that is what's matching what's going on externally or

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Speaker 3: kind of internally. I guess that everyone is fighting a

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Speaker 3: beat or everyone is going through something, and Oliver is

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Speaker 3: amazing at articulating the things that he struggles with, but

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Speaker 3: how he manages to cope with those. So Oliver Mills

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Speaker 3: his story Taylor Swift twenty two hat all of that's

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Speaker 3: coming up right after this.

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Speaker 1: Oliver Mills, Hey, goodness, you're back.

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Speaker 3: I think you were like maybe one of two guests

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Speaker 3: that I've had on twice and I had to do

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Speaker 3: it because your life has changed a little bit like

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Speaker 3: jurassically changed.

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Speaker 1: The last time you were here, you were very different.

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Speaker 3: You had a smashed phone that you were trying to

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Speaker 3: record your things on.

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Speaker 2: You were run TikTok, no it on TikTok. For those

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Speaker 2: listening watching, is it we video and not?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah we are as soon.

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Speaker 2: As me and Jay's finished our last part cause she

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Speaker 2: gave me her home. So from that and from that

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Speaker 2: day forth, on the drive home, I was like, I

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Speaker 2: will vanquish her enemies until the day. I adore you.

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Speaker 1: I adore you.

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Speaker 2: It's such a force for light in New Zealand especially

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Speaker 2: but the world.

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Speaker 1: Oh you're so sweet.

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Speaker 2: Knock it out of the park.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're knocking out of the park right now,

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Speaker 3: and I really it makes me. Every time I see

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Speaker 3: you online, it just fills me with joy because the

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Speaker 3: person that I met the very first time we were

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Speaker 3: at Kessie Henderson's launch thing or party at whatever it

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Speaker 3: was album party thing and seeing this passionate I was

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Speaker 3: about to say little, but that's bold of me to

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Speaker 3: say when I can't touch the floor on this chair

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Speaker 3: that I'm sitting in.

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Speaker 1: But this passionate kid.

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Speaker 3: Who just was so like you were so excited, the

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Speaker 3: world was soberg but there was also so much going

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Speaker 3: on for you. And who sits in front of me

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Speaker 3: now is just a different person to who sat in

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Speaker 3: front of me last time.

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Speaker 1: So much has happened, lots and lots and lots so.

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Speaker 3: Like, literally so much that Okay, so I need to

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Speaker 3: I honestly don't even know where to start. Like, first

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Speaker 3: of all, I've never sabbed so much when I saw

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Speaker 3: you get the twenty two hatch from Taylor Swift.

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Speaker 2: It's ridiculous. No, I don't. I actually still don't really

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Speaker 2: know how to talk about it. Like I've seen so

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Speaker 2: many videos of that happening and I forget that, like

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Speaker 2: I have the memory from my eyes and going back

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Speaker 2: to that is like, what the hell is going on?

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Speaker 3: I can't believe that have you had a moment of

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Speaker 3: like you literally nearly missed the Oliver, like lots of those.

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Speaker 2: Like more than anything right now, all I feel every

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Speaker 2: day is just a deep sense of gratitude, Like I

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Speaker 2: am so overwhelmingly grateful for just existence. Really I feel

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Speaker 2: very very lucky. I can't believe I get to be

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Speaker 2: here with you, Like this is truly this is a dream,

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Speaker 2: very serious. I absolutely adore you. I think you were

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Speaker 2: so wonderful. I really adore you.

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Speaker 3: And that's why, like from the moment that I met you,

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Speaker 3: I was like I just need Like you're gonna have

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Speaker 3: such a huge impact this world, and your joy is

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Speaker 3: infictious and it's contagious. And to be able to even

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Speaker 3: look at Oliver that was sitting here last season, and

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Speaker 3: to be able to tell you, like, this is what

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Speaker 3: your life is going to look like in.

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Speaker 1: A year and one year.

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Speaker 3: The kid who sat here before was still very unsure

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Speaker 3: of life, was still very you know, mental health was

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Speaker 3: always up and down anyway, but like didn't know what.

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Speaker 1: His purpose was, didn't know. And now you're out here,

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Speaker 1: you're traveling. You went to London.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I had I had a big brand deal in London,

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Speaker 2: like my first ever. That was my first ever brand deal.

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Speaker 2: It's the first time I got paid from anything TikTok

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Speaker 2: or and social media or anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you were like really broke when I saw you

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Speaker 1: last time as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my phone was cracked, like yes, how it happened

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Speaker 2: was Jazz was like, do you want to take a photo?

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Speaker 2: I was like no, no, sorry, Like my my TikTok

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Speaker 2: wasn't opening on that phone. It was like an iPhone ten.

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Speaker 2: But it was beat all hell and and you gave

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Speaker 2: me a phone and then it really has been up that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I went to London, like I've never traveled, Like I've

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Speaker 2: really not done much living really, I did most of

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Speaker 2: it in here for the first like how many years.

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Speaker 2: But now we're actually like going out and seeing the world.

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Speaker 3: Can we can we do a bit of a recap

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Speaker 3: for those whom we didn't hear the last episode of

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Speaker 3: your Journey before this year, because this year has been

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Speaker 3: absolute Like I look at it and I so understand

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Speaker 3: it because I remember when this happened for me, different

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Speaker 3: didn't have Taylor Swift telling me I'm the funniest person.

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Speaker 3: But I remember my life exploding and being like, oh

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Speaker 3: my gosh, like what has happened? But I would love

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Speaker 3: to go back, Like you, can you talk about what

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Speaker 3: your life was like before this In the last year

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Speaker 3: and kind of leading up to that, you had a really.

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Speaker 1: Hard battle with your mind? Can you tell us what happened? I?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I was depressed at sixteen fifteen and sixteen from

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Speaker 2: a really bad breakup and my mind just like snapped

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Speaker 2: it and it took a long time to recover. And

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Speaker 2: then I struggled through and stumbled through existence for a

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Speaker 2: long time, and then was at university and moved around

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Speaker 2: there and I don't really like school and never really

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Speaker 2: liked school, so like there was going to university was

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Speaker 2: a bit silly. I have a degree that I haven't finished.

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Speaker 1: What degree was it?

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Speaker 2: Philosophy and psychology?

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Speaker 1: That makes so much sense.

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Speaker 2: For Visah' sorry what an arrogant thing?

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Speaker 1: No, like literally, with the way that you talk, it

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Speaker 1: makes so much sense.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't do so psychology great, like straight a's no

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Speaker 2: problem at all. Philosophy, what are we talking about? Like

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Speaker 2: can we actually say something that has meaning and value

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Speaker 2: rather than like, here's what this white man thinks, and

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Speaker 2: this white man disagreed and hadn't I what are we doing?

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Speaker 1: Like, yeah, correct, I couldn't.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't get into it, but then stumbled upon techtoc

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Speaker 2: like just started uploading random videos of me singing in

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Speaker 2: the car, and then it took off, and Christmas last year,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm just gonna We're just gonna do this,

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Speaker 2: like I'm gonna see what happens. And so I moved

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Speaker 2: home to them Mount with lips, started living with Mum

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Speaker 2: and Dad, and then it all just started falling into place.

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Speaker 1: And I really don't know where I am now, which

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Speaker 1: younger Oliver would have never believed because you were struggling

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Speaker 1: to even stay alive a while ago.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like like really quite quite seriously was nearly not here.

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Speaker 3: And the amount of times that I just see you're

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Speaker 3: posting or just seeing stuff have you come up and

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Speaker 3: just this immense like I can't even explain how proud

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Speaker 3: I am that, like, because I've seen you in that

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Speaker 3: his space of just like this is my identity, nothing's

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Speaker 3: ever going to change, and for you to experience what

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Speaker 3: real hope is, like you couldn't even answer that question

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Speaker 3: last time.

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Speaker 1: You couldn't answer what the meaning of hope was.

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Speaker 2: When you were like, like, so is there hope? And

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Speaker 2: I was like, don't make me tell them that there's not.

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Speaker 1: Well, you also believed that depression was just who you were.

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Speaker 1: How has that shifted for you? No, you still believe

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Speaker 1: that's who.

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Speaker 2: You are, not who I am. But like, God, this

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Speaker 2: is a step forward we're making straight. It's no, it's

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Speaker 2: more for me. It's that like I have a very

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Speaker 2: sensitive mind. Yeah, Like I broke my arm when I

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Speaker 2: was sixteen or seventeen or whatever, and it healed wrong,

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Speaker 2: and I have bad knees and so like I'm very

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Speaker 2: careful with them, and it's the same with my brain.

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Speaker 2: I take at the moment, I just take an incredible

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Speaker 2: amount of care with myself and my peace and what

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Speaker 2: allows me to get through. And a lot of the

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Speaker 2: time for me, that's doing nothing. Really, I don't do

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Speaker 2: a lot. I spend a lot of time just just

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Speaker 2: getting through. And I like that for me. I really

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Speaker 2: need that for me.

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Speaker 3: Well, that also is such a significant difference, even though

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Speaker 3: it might kind of feel the same, the fact that

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Speaker 3: you're even able to be.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm actually just really sensitive, Like I've got you.

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Speaker 3: Know, like this stuff that just impacts you a lot

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Speaker 3: more than it might impact someone else, just because of

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Speaker 3: the way that you've developed and for you to be

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Speaker 3: able to see that and understand that and take.

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Speaker 1: Care of that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm very I'm very gentle with myself. I know

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Speaker 2: a lot about what I need. And for the longest

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Speaker 2: time I fought against that because it felt like I

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Speaker 2: was fighting against the the illness. But it's no, it's

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Speaker 2: it's more like accepting what I am. And that's like

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Speaker 2: someone who will uh stray into really really dark thoughts. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and so I'm just I'm just gentle with myself, trying

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Speaker 2: to try and be very kind with myself. I protect

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Speaker 2: my peace over pretty much anything good without being hedonistic.

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Speaker 2: That's that's always the worry. But like coming here, like

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Speaker 2: I drove here from Tott and I literally just drove in.

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Speaker 2: This is for me, Like I adore you. I can't

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Speaker 2: believe that I get to do this, and so and

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Speaker 2: I'm just I'm driving back.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you drove up here just for this.

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Speaker 2: Of course. Yeah, no, I'll do I'll do anything for you.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I I owe you the world. I know,

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Speaker 2: not at all.

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Speaker 1: Not at all.

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Speaker 3: It's been my my absolute greatest pleasure just watching you

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Speaker 3: live this crazy life. And I mean the moment with

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Speaker 3: Taylor Swift is like we have we have to talk

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Speaker 3: about all of it, because first of all, every video

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Speaker 3: I'd ever seen was children getting it.

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Speaker 2: Yep, but should have been a kid.

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Speaker 3: And then suddenly it's Oliver no, no, no, how iconic?

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Speaker 1: Is this right? Okay? Can you can you tell? Like

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Speaker 1: what happened? So get to this concert?

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Speaker 2: Usually so yeah, Taylor Swift gives out a twenty two hat,

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Speaker 2: a hat signed with during her song twenty two too,

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Speaker 2: usually a child, usually a sick child. So we got

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Speaker 2: there in the mediate last start finding all the you know,

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Speaker 2: all the maker Wish kids, and I'm pushing them out

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Speaker 2: of the way, shoving them care and getting all these

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Speaker 2: little things. And then I got to the stage and

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Speaker 2: I was like, hey, I'm here, and she saw me.

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Speaker 2: She was like, I think it was supposed to be

250
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Speaker 2: a child, but like you're here too, and that's fine.

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Speaker 2: It was ridiculous. It was the most unbelievable thing that's

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Speaker 2: ever happened.

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Speaker 1: And Taylor specifically requested it to be you yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Which is I don't know I don't know how no

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Speaker 3: one that is or if that's something you want to

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Speaker 3: be knowing, But like that was something that wasn't random,

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Speaker 3: Like she chose you, Oliver. That seems amable, Like it

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Speaker 3: wasn't her team that just saw you and was like,

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Speaker 3: oh we should bring Like she chose you because of

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Speaker 3: the light that you bring and how funny you are.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe she should should have been a child.

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Speaker 1: But happy, right, I mean, I'm thrilled for you. You're standing there,

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Speaker 1: You're what should have come towards you.

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Speaker 2: She would have been a set kid. But I'm happy

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Speaker 2: to take it right.

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Speaker 1: What's going through your brain as you're standing there?

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Speaker 2: Oh, nothing at all?

268
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Speaker 3: Like what's going through your brain when you find out

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Speaker 3: you are going to get the twenty two hat?

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Speaker 2: I did? I mean nothing, Like what what do you mean?

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Speaker 2: First of all, like they they came and got us

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Speaker 2: and moved us to VIP and like even that, I

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Speaker 2: was like, what are we doing? Like this is so shue,

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Speaker 2: But this was so last minute. It was like we

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Speaker 2: found out I found out I was going to Eras

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Speaker 2: like a week before we went wow and then yeah,

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Speaker 2: one of her teams said, well, we were walking down

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Speaker 2: to VIP like it's just leading me no this, and

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Speaker 2: I was like I don't know what to do about

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Speaker 2: that or with that at all.

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Speaker 1: I would have just left. Yeah, I couldn't have handled it.

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Speaker 1: I would have just I would have just exited the building.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No. Yeah. So it was just like, okay, let's

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Speaker 2: just uh, let's just enjoy the concert. And it's eras is.

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Speaker 2: Have you seen have you been?

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Speaker 1: I haven't. I couldn't get tickets.

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Speaker 2: We have to go? Yes, please, It's the most unbelievable show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen every single video. I watch every video.

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Speaker 2: It's ridiculous, feel like a movie. And because we were

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Speaker 2: in VIP, sorry like this, sorry anyway, So I was

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Speaker 2: in VIP with my with my twenty two hats and

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Speaker 2: it's basically don Julio like that was like Ben's full

293
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Speaker 2: of and you know, it was ridiculous. It was ridiculous.

294
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Speaker 2: But I don't I I really don't know how to

295
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:36,760
Speaker 2: speak about it quite quite earnestly, because it's so unfathomable.

296
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Speaker 2: You know. I had like people that bullied me in

297
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,480
Speaker 2: school messaging me on Instagram like hey man, congrats, and

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Speaker 2: that's how you know, Yeah, that's how you know I'm

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Speaker 2: right now. We good. It's been pretty high after that,

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Speaker 2: it was. It was ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: I just I remember seeing the video and messaging you immediately,

302
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Speaker 3: and I'm pretty sure the first thing that I said.

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Speaker 1: To you was, Oliver, you nearly missed this. Yeah, like

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Speaker 1: that was the first.

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00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,520
Speaker 3: Obviously you were still and you still are now, just like, literally,

306
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,120
Speaker 3: what the heck? No, But as an outsider who knew

307
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:10,280
Speaker 3: your story and seeing this and being like, boy, if

308
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,839
Speaker 3: you had gone through I was not being here and

309
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,680
Speaker 3: the way that you had tried to and believe that

310
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,959
Speaker 3: you should not be here, you would not be standing

311
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Speaker 3: in front of Taylor Swift getting this damn hat dancing along.

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Speaker 2: Like. I had moments like that during Enchanted, where like

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00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,200
Speaker 2: just literally looking up and this like it's like this

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00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:33,320
Speaker 2: quasi religious song amongst one hundred thousand people, every single

315
00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,680
Speaker 2: person in the stadium is singing it, and I was

316
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 2: looking up and I was like, we made it. Like

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Speaker 2: I really can't believe I'm gonna cry. I'm here.

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Speaker 1: I'm literally gonna cry.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe I got there. I had. I had

320
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Speaker 2: lots of moments like that during the concert of just

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Speaker 2: like we I really nearly missed all of this.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm legitimately there are tears forming in my eyeballs.

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Speaker 3: I'm so emotion about it because I also remember, and

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Speaker 3: it was not that long ago, having a similar moment

325
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:03,160
Speaker 3: I was at Pang and which side note also insane

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Speaker 3: concert when you're flying around this is amazing, what are

327
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Speaker 3: you doing?

328
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Speaker 2: Get done?

329
00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,440
Speaker 1: But just standing there.

330
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Speaker 3: And looking up and I remember just starting to cry

331
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Speaker 3: and having this moment of like I really missed this,

332
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Speaker 3: Like and it's just those moments of like not even

333
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,480
Speaker 3: the big crazy things that happen in life, but just

334
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:28,280
Speaker 3: a moment of being amongst all of these people and

335
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 3: being like, holy crap, like I had.

336
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:36,960
Speaker 2: I'd had the adverse moments of like experiencing a pain

337
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,480
Speaker 2: so great that like this is so great that it

338
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,520
Speaker 2: can't be worth it. And I had that at the

339
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,120
Speaker 2: Swift content. I've had it many times since, of like

340
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:48,000
Speaker 2: this is so good that everything is worth it. That

341
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 2: that during enchanted of me, like literally like looking up

342
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,280
Speaker 2: and there's all these lights and it's all the whole

343
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 2: standium is purple. I got you one of these, actually,

344
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,600
Speaker 2: I forgot to bring it for you. Yeah, Hella Swift's

345
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,560
Speaker 2: touched this as well. It's long lived, which.

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00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,440
Speaker 1: Is Taylor fIF just touched this.

347
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, this was one of the ones on my on

348
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,160
Speaker 2: my hands. I had to forgot about it level of course,

349
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:08,400
Speaker 2: of course.

350
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Oliver, Oh my godness, this is Oh

351
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,040
Speaker 1: my gosh.

352
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,000
Speaker 2: I was in my room this morning, like which one, Like,

353
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,800
Speaker 2: there's like a hundred I had. I had like a

354
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,920
Speaker 2: you know, down to my elbows of and I'm like

355
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:20,600
Speaker 2: screwing through.

356
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,560
Speaker 1: If you could look back at Oliver a year.

357
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:26,200
Speaker 3: Ago and tell him what was about to happen, what

358
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,760
Speaker 3: would like, how do you how do you talk to.

359
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:28,680
Speaker 1: Oliver from a year ago?

360
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,680
Speaker 2: I wouldn't tell him anything, you know, like he had

361
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,400
Speaker 2: to be who he was to experience what he did.

362
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 2: And so yeah, no, I'd never betray my former self

363
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,400
Speaker 2: with do this differently, Like I you know, I'm.

364
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,440
Speaker 3: Just so thankful that your former self chose to fight

365
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,880
Speaker 3: every single day to be here, and not just for

366
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,960
Speaker 3: these massive, crazy successful moments.

367
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,480
Speaker 1: But just for you and who you are and seeing.

368
00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:57,120
Speaker 3: You develop as just like you're really coming into yourself

369
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,560
Speaker 3: and you're finding yourself and you are finding your place

370
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 3: in the world, and the fact that you had to

371
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,840
Speaker 3: like people will never understand how hard you had to

372
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,800
Speaker 3: fight to just be okay with yourself and to be

373
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Speaker 3: okay in your own company. And I think that happens

374
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,720
Speaker 3: a lot of the time when people see people becoming

375
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 3: successful in.

376
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,200
Speaker 1: Any area, but especially online. You see these highlights.

377
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,600
Speaker 3: But you've been so incredible as well at being so

378
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,119
Speaker 3: transparent about kind of the ups and the downs and

379
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,600
Speaker 3: showing the whole journey, and a lot of people can

380
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 3: still be like, yeah, it just kind of snapped and

381
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,199
Speaker 3: then it was great, and now he's just lived this

382
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 3: perfect life in the case.

383
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,640
Speaker 2: No, I was at Starship right. They locked me away.

384
00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,200
Speaker 2: They took my shoelacers and the drawer street from my ship.

385
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,000
Speaker 2: I was there.

386
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,120
Speaker 1: Oh my god, did that I don't think we did.

387
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,760
Speaker 2: And I went to the and see if you was

388
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,080
Speaker 2: that the child family unit.

389
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hang out with the kids through all the time.

390
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 2: I'd love to go.

391
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,200
Speaker 1: Back, but you go back together.

392
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love to. They had me in the in

393
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,440
Speaker 2: the ward where like you're not allowed outside it here. Yeah,

394
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,920
Speaker 2: it was. It was bad.

395
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 1: We did not talk about this shike psych Wold experiences.

396
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:58,640
Speaker 1: How old were.

397
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,399
Speaker 2: You sixteen, I think, or maybe sixteen or seventeen. I

398
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,960
Speaker 2: can't remember if I got my tattoos at seventeen. I

399
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,160
Speaker 2: can't remember if I had tattoo.

400
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 1: What was it that legit into the psyched?

401
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 2: Oh, it was just like a string of At some point,

402
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 2: your parents, like my parents just couldn't do anything. We

403
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,639
Speaker 2: tried everything, and then I think I had a quasi

404
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 2: attempt or something. I clearly have learned a new word

405
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 2: of said quasi like six times. Yeah, yeah, I think

406
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,000
Speaker 2: I had an attempt. And then they just drove me.

407
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:30,920
Speaker 2: It was the most like picturesque, picturesque horror story I

408
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,879
Speaker 2: think you ever seen. Like we drove. I was in

409
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,719
Speaker 2: the hospital. I don't remember it because you know, I'm

410
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 2: all drugged. Yeah, absolutely, And then we drove Mum and

411
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:40,120
Speaker 2: Dad will sound the story way worse in a storm

412
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 2: in a van and like a big in a white van.

413
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 2: They drove me from turn on the hospital to Starship

414
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 2: in a white van in Mum's tailing in the in

415
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 2: the ute and there's like through a massive storm. I

416
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,399
Speaker 2: don't remember any of it. But then you woke up

417
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 2: in CF.

418
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,640
Speaker 1: So do you remember going into see if.

419
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 2: You a little bit? I remember the fact I remember

420
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 2: being in there the first night and screaming at the

421
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 2: top of my lungs, like like pushing everyone, running away,

422
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,440
Speaker 2: getting it, finding the corner of the room, screaming at

423
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,560
Speaker 2: the top of my lungs, like yelling at them. Just

424
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 2: I was just psychotic, and then being like the next

425
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,159
Speaker 2: day being like, man, I can't believe I'm in here

426
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 2: with these crazy people. I think about it, I'm like wait,

427
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 2: hold on, and I'm looking around. I'm like, man, these

428
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 2: guys are these guys are crazy and it and I'm like,

429
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 2: hold on, I'm here too, like no shoelacers.

430
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 1: The lacers.

431
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 3: Honestly, I remember my first ever time getting admitted to

432
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 3: the psych ward and it was like two o'clock in

433
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:33,879
Speaker 3: the morning when I got put in, and so I

434
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 3: was like taking through a back entrance and I literally

435
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 3: remember being like I'm in jail, like Shoelacers gone, hoot eastring.

436
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 2: Gone, everything, phone charger gone.

437
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 3: And I also went into the high ka, which is

438
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,600
Speaker 3: like the one on one like someone's looking at you.

439
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 1: All the time, and I remember line for your drugs. Yes,

440
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 1: everyone's like.

441
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:56,440
Speaker 3: But also just like like it was a good place

442
00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 3: for me to be in regards like stabilizing me.

443
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,400
Speaker 1: But it's a wild experience.

444
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, I I it needs more sunlight.

445
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,919
Speaker 3: Aren't you so glad that you weren't active on social

446
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,800
Speaker 3: media as much when you were there?

447
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 1: Like goodness, I'm just so thankful crashed out.

448
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 2: You know what was then? When I was there though?

449
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 2: Pokemon Go. So Pokemon Go was just there and there

450
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 2: was a remember the gym, you'd like fight at the gym.

451
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 2: There was a gym just outside and so I was

452
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 2: in the corner like reach trying to get that, trying

453
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 2: to get jiggly path or whatever or.

454
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:30,879
Speaker 1: Like, did you play the volleyball outside with the you know,

455
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 1: they didn't.

456
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,919
Speaker 2: I don't think they let me. Oh no, they did

457
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,440
Speaker 2: let me over there. And there was a drum set

458
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:35,359
Speaker 2: and I was on the drum set.

459
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,240
Speaker 1: Oh yes, the drum set is still there, yes, yeah.

460
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 2: And it was beat to shirt and I I think,

461
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 2: I know it was fun. Yeah. They let me through

462
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 2: the doors to the other to the other side.

463
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 3: Could you imagine little all of us sitting in there

464
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,399
Speaker 3: in their site called like knowing the life that you

465
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 3: were about to have, like not just like I often

466
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 3: think about this with myself and like those moments of

467
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,359
Speaker 3: being like nothing's gonna change this as who I am

468
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 3: like and when you I don't think people understand when

469
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 3: you live a life genuinely believing you are going to

470
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 3: die young. Like everything else that comes after that is

471
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,119
Speaker 3: it feels unreal, Like you had your next birthday and

472
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,640
Speaker 3: you're like, I wasn't supposed to be here.

473
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were working on borrow time, and that's beautiful.

474
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 2: I'm happy to I mean.

475
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 1: When I just start paying bills and I was like,

476
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:25,640
Speaker 1: I wasn't planning on being here.

477
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 2: How lucky to be able to pay bills? What an

478
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 2: incredible thing to be able to experience.

479
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 3: You've been able to just do so many freaking things.

480
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 3: And obviously t Swift was one.

481
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 4: You went to the UK and then you you're this

482
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 4: triangle thing blew up and I was so confused for

483
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,879
Speaker 4: so long as to what was going on. But I

484
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 4: was like, it's me, and then it's her name Aar

485
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 4: and then Yuval and just triangle and then suddenly you're

486
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 4: the new version of Bridges and what happened?

487
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: Do you even know?

488
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 2: It was ridiculous? Yeah? No, he really found my house

489
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 2: by the way, he'd like, he did send those flowers

490
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:10,640
Speaker 2: to my house.

491
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 1: Talking is not okaycourage.

492
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 2: That I met im On on this Audible shoot and

493
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 2: we got along really well. I think about that a

494
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 2: lot actually, Like on that Audible shoot, Aarme and Brittany

495
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 2: and were the first two friends I made in the

496
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,919
Speaker 2: industry through a job. Like I can't believe. I mean,

497
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 2: two of the most incredible women you've ever come across, really,

498
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,199
Speaker 2: and I get to call them friends? What a what

499
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 2: a blessing? But yeah, I met im through this thing

500
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 2: and she had a thing going on with u vaile

501
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,119
Speaker 2: some online where they would he would find her or whatever,

502
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 2: and she made some videos with me and then they

503
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: brought me and it was you know, it was fun

504
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 2: at the start. It really was fun and and it

505
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,399
Speaker 2: was good. It just it got ridiculous, like it was

506
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 2: very I'm quoted in Time magas. Wow, Like there's an

507
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 2: article and I have a quote in Time? What are

508
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 2: we doing? Like that was ridiculous, but I had It

509
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,719
Speaker 2: was very like I had no idea what was God

510
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 2: was very like, I mean all of my content, I

511
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,120
Speaker 2: just opened my phone and pressed play. There's nothing planned.

512
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 2: And that was the Bridgeton speech. It was just like, was.

513
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 1: It not planned?

514
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 2: No, of course not.

515
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Actually that doesn't surprise me at all,

516
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,760
Speaker 1: no speak, and.

517
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,640
Speaker 2: I'm leaning into it to be ridiculous because like ridiculous

518
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 2: is fun. But then it just got they got a

519
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 2: bit the best thing out of it. Like I feel

520
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 2: so blessed to have been a part of that. They

521
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 2: raised our man, you've all raised somewhere near half a

522
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 2: million dollars for Palestinian families. It's incredible, Like what a

523
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 2: you know, so like I can't believe I was lucky

524
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 2: enough to be a part of that.

525
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: Was it ed all hard on your mental health? Having

526
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 1: this sudden Yeah, of course, like everyone watching, Yeah, yeah.

527
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 2: I find I find the notoriety of whatever we do

528
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 2: quite unbearable.

529
00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it's weird, right, It's weird because it then

530
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 3: starts to translate into the real world, like when it's

531
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,119
Speaker 3: online and then you start to go out and you

532
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 3: get stopped all the time, and you're like, wait, people

533
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 3: actually know me.

534
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,680
Speaker 2: I like when people come up to me. I prefer

535
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 2: I have a lot of like problems with self hate,

536
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,719
Speaker 2: and so when people are like pointing and steering and

537
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 2: like taking photos from a distance, you can you can

538
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 2: tell like you like, we know, we know what's happening.

539
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: We can see it.

540
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, that freaks me out because in my head I'm thinking,

541
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 2: like they just thinking, look at that loser tech talk

542
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 2: dorg over there with his stupid shoes, you.

543
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 3: Know, and me now yeah yeah, those of you who

544
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,160
Speaker 3: can't see that's where wearing the same shoes, just different

545
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 3: fonts and.

546
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 2: It's dumb haircut, like where do you get their hair

547
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 2: at the toilet stool? And I'm just in my head

548
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 2: like they hate me, this goob from Meet the Robinson's,

549
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 2: like they all hated me.

550
00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:55,720
Speaker 1: Where does the self hate come from?

551
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 2: I don't know, I really don't. I have no problems

552
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 2: with self esteem, like a my self worth is non existent,

553
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 2: but self esteem no problem. Like I can be ridiculous

554
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 2: and sing online clearly, but when it comes down to it,

555
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 2: like I struggle to I don't know. I think I

556
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 2: know all the things wrong with me, and they're the

557
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:21,120
Speaker 2: loudest in my head. Yeah, but I've been doing a

558
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 2: lot recently to I mean, attempt to see myself from

559
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 2: someone else's shoes. I'm quite like, you know, I'm quite nice,

560
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: quite kind. Yeah you are from there?

561
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 3: Yeah you do really like the amount of time that

562
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 3: you need to be able to sit and understand the

563
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 3: person you might, but I also understand, like when you've

564
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 3: had the life that you have had, like the self worth,

565
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 3: the self worth and the like being able to just

566
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,440
Speaker 3: be out there and be extravertied and be yourself Like,

567
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 3: I understand that dynamic, and it's so confusing. And I

568
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 3: think being in the world that you are now, where

569
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 3: you have people every single day being like I love you,

570
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 3: but you know that they don't actually know you personally,

571
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 3: and I think that can then impact it more because

572
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 3: you're like, well, you don't actually know me, and you're

573
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 3: hearing millions of people be like I love you, And

574
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 3: I think that can also really affect your self worth

575
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 3: because people are seeing a version of you. And I

576
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,399
Speaker 3: know that's something that I struggle with a lot, is

577
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 3: feeling like I was hearing I love you more from

578
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 3: random people around the world than people in my life.

579
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,920
Speaker 1: That the self worth can struggle in that environment.

580
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 3: Have you found it more or less as your kind

581
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 3: of profile has grown? The self worth?

582
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: Yeah?

583
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:44,640
Speaker 2: Not real, Like I really at the moment, what I'm

584
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:48,879
Speaker 2: really doing is just I really am just a boy

585
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 2: trying to enjoy himself and I do that non apologetically.

586
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: Right now, tell me that the top three things that

587
00:26:58,240 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: you love about yourself.

588
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:07,639
Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm really funny. I'm really funny. I am kind,

589
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 2: I am kind, and I do love unapologetically and I'll

590
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 2: never stop. It's not love bombing when I actually love

591
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 2: you and I do love you.

592
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 3: There is definitely a line between love bombing and love.

593
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm clarified.

594
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 2: I don't do it though, I mean it. I really do. Okay,

595
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 2: I really do.

596
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you do.

597
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 3: And and I ask you that because I also think

598
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 3: that that's the kind of thing that's important to remember when,

599
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 3: especially when you're talking about trying to see yourself from

600
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 3: other people and how other people experience you and interact

601
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,679
Speaker 3: with you and in your presence. Like every time I've

602
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 3: been around you, I'm like, this guy is awesome. Like

603
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 3: you're so fun, you're so kind. When you came over

604
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 3: to get the phone and you're just sitting on the

605
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 3: floor with my dog, like she loves you, by the way,

606
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 3: she's we've got another one now.

607
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,399
Speaker 2: Animals. Animals love me. That's my thing recently. Actually, it's like,

608
00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: uh yeah, when you're padd a dog and it don't

609
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: walk off.

610
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,439
Speaker 3: Highly recommend just standing in a dog park and then

611
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:05,200
Speaker 3: they all come to you and you're like, drink.

612
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:05,919
Speaker 1: This is the best thing.

613
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 2: I live at the mountain. The beach is just riddled

614
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 2: with dogs.

615
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:10,640
Speaker 1: I love them out. It's such a beautiful place.

616
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:11,360
Speaker 2: My favorite.

617
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 3: What are the things that you do for yourself when

618
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 3: you are struggling mentally? I do like going out, being

619
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 3: at the beach, being in nature. Do you sit by yourself?

620
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 3: Do you I know, you listen to a lot of music.

621
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 3: You sing because you can sing, I.

622
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 2: Think at the moment, like it's less so like one

623
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,199
Speaker 2: particular thing. It used to be like, you know, I

624
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 2: need to exercise or I need to do this, but

625
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 2: I just I just take great care with being really

626
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 2: kind to myself, like the whole thing of you know,

627
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 2: when you get really bad and then you have to

628
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 2: celebrate brushing your teeth. Yeah, really truly celebrate that. And

629
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: I just do that, you know, I really do that.

630
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 2: If I have two days pray, do nothing but scroll

631
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:55,840
Speaker 2: and taketok, Hey, that's fine, Like it's one great long

632
00:28:55,920 --> 00:29:00,040
Speaker 2: life and falling to the wayside for the period. It

633
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: is just not as big of a drama as you're

634
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 2: going to try and make it out to be.

635
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 3: Well also being in a world where everything that you're

636
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 3: seeing is like all those videos are like here's my

637
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 3: five to nine before my nine to five, and being like, oh,

638
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 3: I didn't wake up at four am.

639
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: Therefore I'm so unproductive.

640
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 2: So that stuff doesn't work for me.

641
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: No neither.

642
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, like I you know, I had a month

643
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 2: where I was going a bit at like two and

644
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: that's what I needed at the time, and I have

645
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 2: no problem with that. And then I had sometimes where

646
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 2: I'm like incredibly introverted and I and you know, the

647
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 2: people around me respect that and understand that, like he's

648
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 2: just doing this thing. But then I have times where

649
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 2: I'm like I want to see a lot of people.

650
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 2: Now I just I'm just that's my thing at the moment.

651
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: Like for my mental health, it's I just notice myself

652
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,719
Speaker 2: as someone going through the world really giving it there all,

653
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,320
Speaker 2: Like I really, I really believe that, like everyone is

654
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 2: trying their hardest all the time, and be kind to

655
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: yourself about that. You know. It's so I used to

656
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 2: so much like I should be doing this, and then

657
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 2: all of the stress was like I'm doing not doing

658
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 2: the things that I want. But I'm you know, I'm.

659
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 3: Existing which is so freaking important to everyone who's listening

660
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 3: to this, who also is flooded on TikTok with this,

661
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 3: like feeling like you're not doing enough and you're not

662
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 3: enough and oh should I should be doing all of

663
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 3: these things?

664
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,280
Speaker 1: Like if all that you did is brush your teeth,

665
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 1: like that's it's it's your existence.

666
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you take that at your own pace.

667
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, what else do you think in the last

668
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 3: year since we last spoke, what else has changed in

669
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 3: your life?

670
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 2: My relationship with my parents has never been better.

671
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 1: Oh I love that.

672
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 2: Yeah that'll that'll kill me. Hold on, Yeah, no, I

673
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,239
Speaker 2: moved home. I moved home for Christmas too, because I

674
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 2: was just like our flat disbanded. I didn't really know

675
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 2: where to go, and I was like, I'll go home

676
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 2: for Christmas and then we'll see I haven't left. And yeah.

677
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,920
Speaker 2: The biggest thing with that is like they really seem

678
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 2: to appreciate what I am and I've never really felt

679
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 2: that because I've been so lost forever and maybe this

680
00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: is the first time in a long time I haven't

681
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 2: truly felt lost, And so, yeah, mate, my relationship with

682
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 2: my parents, both individually and then as a as a unit,

683
00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 2: has never been better and that oh my god, that.

684
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 1: It's really beautiful. Has it been like literally moving home

685
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: is what's done?

686
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I think we we have

687
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 2: like a greater respect for each other. I just love

688
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: them dearly. And they're really good, you know, they're just

689
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 2: they're just they're actually just good people. And yeah, that's.

690
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 1: So sweet and such, like it's such a huge thing.

691
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 3: And to have that, especially in the career that you

692
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 3: have and to be such a public life and to

693
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 3: just have that stability and to feel understood and I

694
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 3: mean the gravity of what you just said of feel

695
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 3: like feeling the way that you do now and that

696
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 3: you've never felt like that before is huge. And it

697
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 3: is also like so testament to you and you kind

698
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,479
Speaker 3: of choosing to go back home and obviously like then

699
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 3: choosing to and all of that, Like, especially when you

700
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 3: are an adult, I feel like there's so much stigma

701
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 3: attached to that as well of like having to go

702
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 3: back home for a bit.

703
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: It's all good.

704
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I think we all understand that it's an

705
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 2: in between, but it's more that like they just have me.

706
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: Like the people in my life that I call family

707
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,959
Speaker 2: of friends that have had they just have me, like

708
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 2: my unit is unseparable, and they all know I require

709
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 2: a bit of care, like a bit, a bit more

710
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 2: of a gentle, delicate care, and they offer that like

711
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 2: tough love doesn't work on at all. You know, I'll disappear,

712
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 2: You'll never hear from me again, tough love and I've

713
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 2: lost I've lost relationships because of because of the fact

714
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 2: that I require a greater level of care. And at

715
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 2: the time that's tragic and like it has been so devastating,

716
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 2: but I need to look after me in the way

717
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 2: that works for me. And yeah, how.

718
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 3: Do you think other people, like in your unit specifically,

719
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 3: that have stuck around this whole time, how do.

720
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 1: They view you?

721
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 2: Ridiculous? I'm ridiculous. I'm ridiculous, Like I have no plans

722
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: ever for anything. I'm cow polk. I float with the wind.

723
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't. I

724
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,960
Speaker 2: don't make plans for anything. I can't. It's it's stressful

725
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 2: some things, obviously, you know.

726
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 3: But when you look at your self worth and the

727
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 3: things that you believe about yourself, and then you realize

728
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 3: that these people have.

729
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: Stuck around for good reason. Why have they stuck around

730
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 1: they have to, you know, we don't have to.

731
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 2: I'll show up on their doorsteps. No, it's my visterer.

732
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 2: And Flynn, he's not a friend, he's you know, he's family.

733
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 2: And he was saying that the other day. He's like,

734
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 2: I've been around too long, Like there's really nothing that

735
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 2: we could do that would separate. But yeah, it's they

736
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,760
Speaker 2: have a patience with me that I am just very

737
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 2: grateful for.

738
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 3: How important have those relationships been within your mental health journey?

739
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 2: What's everything to me? No, I am only alive because

740
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 2: of the people around me. Really, you'll you'll throw that

741
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 2: back on me and say like, no, it's you, and

742
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: I understand.

743
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I can. I can absolutely understand. Those people

744
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 3: are important forever.

745
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 2: I just thought that, like you know, happiness or like

746
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: peace was something like entirely internal and it's just such

747
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 2: a it's wrong, like it's such a we cannot separate

748
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 2: ourselves from the greater unit. And I think figuring out

749
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 2: your place and that is what you need to do.

750
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 3: It's so huge. And I know that you said that.

751
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 3: I'll just throw it back at you what you just said,

752
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 3: but I'm not going to because one thing that I noticed,

753
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:37,960
Speaker 3: I do a lot of I get to do a

754
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 3: lot of travel, and I'm so lucky to do that.

755
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: And amongst that travel, I've ended up in a lot.

756
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 3: Of like very deep out villages and like Cambodia or Africa.

757
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,439
Speaker 3: And what's been really striking to me is that these

758
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 3: people who have absolutely nothing are the happiest people I've

759
00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 3: ever met. And that's because their entire life is operating

760
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,400
Speaker 3: on this family.

761
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: Like everyone, it's about people. You know, your neighbors.

762
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 3: If someone sudden happens to someone's parents, the whole village

763
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 3: takes them in, whereas here in the Western world we

764
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 3: don't even know our neighbors half the time.

765
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 2: Unbearable, there's too much going on all the time.

766
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's also become so like based on things,

767
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 3: and we're not happy if we don't have the certain things,

768
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 3: and we've taken away that kind of the need for

769
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 3: human connection, which is for me when I go to

770
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,920
Speaker 3: these places, I'm like, these people are happier than we

771
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 3: ever will be, Like they know pure joy because they're not.

772
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: Comparing anything to anyone else.

773
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 3: All they know is that they love hard and they

774
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 3: are so loved by every single person around them. Yeah,

775
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 3: but how like to be able to take that kind

776
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: of concept and bring it into our lives and like

777
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 3: understand the importance of friendships and community and connection, and

778
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,839
Speaker 3: it is something that when you're struggling like you were

779
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 3: and probably at times still are, like mental health is

780
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 3: a nonlinear journey.

781
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 2: That was my move. Yeah me too, yeah, my my,

782
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 2: what do you call it? Trauma? Response was I would

783
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 2: just isolate and you know, disappear as much as I can.

784
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 2: And that has its place, certainly, But you need someone

785
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 2: to go to. You need because you have to say

786
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 2: things to people. I find talk therapy like unbelievably helpful.

787
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 2: Some people don't.

788
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 1: Are you still in therapy now?

789
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? I pop in it out. I have the same

790
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 2: therapist as I've had since I was sixteen. God, when

791
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 2: I was sixteen, like starting therapy, I ran through them.

792
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 2: I just obliterated therapists and psychologists and psychiatrists. You know.

793
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: They kicked me out of cams like you know we

794
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 2: had Oh my gosh, we.

795
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 1: Got kicked out of cams. That's hard to do.

796
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,479
Speaker 2: I didn't respect them, I hated them. They were reading

797
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 2: from a book, you know, and I can't have a

798
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 2: conversation with a textbook or an idea. And then I

799
00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 2: sat down with my therapist in a and I think

800
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 2: within five minutes I've been through like seven at this point.

801
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 2: Within five minutes he swore and I said I. I was like, oh,

802
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 2: you might be a real person. And then later on,

803
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,479
Speaker 2: like ten minutes later, he called. He was like, don't

804
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,360
Speaker 2: bullshit me. And he called me out because I was

805
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,839
Speaker 2: taking a pass, you know, and I was like, oh,

806
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 2: hold on, and he was a you know, he he

807
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 2: he was a forklift driver, was his Wow, you know

808
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 2: who came into counseling and.

809
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: Finding the right therapist is so important.

810
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 3: I literally feel like I've only just found the right

811
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 3: one be with her for a few years now.

812
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 2: That's the problem. It's so hard to attempt to go

813
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 2: and find one, and people get so put off when

814
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: it doesn't work immediately, because it doesn't a lot of

815
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 2: the time, you keep pushing. It's a person like you

816
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,920
Speaker 2: have to find the person that gets you. A lot

817
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 2: of them don't know, a lot of them don't. But man,

818
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 2: when you find that one, yeah, unbelievable.

819
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 3: And it's so like, obviously every therapist is so different

820
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 3: and some people really like the like and how does

821
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,040
Speaker 3: it make you feel like the real soft thing.

822
00:37:58,040 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: I can't do it.

823
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 2: I can't soft like probably he grabs me and it's like,

824
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:02,799
Speaker 2: let's sit in there.

825
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm like tough life, and I stare.

826
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 2: At it and like look at the minutes or it's

827
00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 2: very intense.

828
00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

829
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 3: My therapist a while ago, I've been doing a lot

830
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,760
Speaker 3: of trauma therapy, which is so fun and it's.

831
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 1: Been a wild time.

832
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 3: But I remember her saying a while ago, like I

833
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: every time that the emotions would come up, I would

834
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 3: turn away from her and do everything I could to

835
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 3: not feel it. And she was like, Jazz, you have

836
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 3: this tendency to block anything that's related to sadness. And

837
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,080
Speaker 3: I was like, no, I don't, and she was like, no,

838
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 3: you do. There's something that's so like you're so afraid

839
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 3: of it. And we began to realize that for me,

840
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 3: growing up the way that I did, and especially the

841
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 3: mental health journey that I was on, sadness was so

842
00:38:43,760 --> 00:38:46,680
Speaker 3: intricately linked with not wanting to be here that I

843
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 3: was so afraid that if I felt emotion of sadness,

844
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:50,759
Speaker 3: I would not be able to get out of it

845
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 3: and it would like overtake me and four me to

846
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 3: then have someone who would sit there.

847
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: I would lose it. I would bore my eyes out.

848
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,839
Speaker 3: You would just sit with me, and then I would

849
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,479
Speaker 3: be fine and she would be like.

850
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 4: We're still here, Like you're okay, You're gonna be okay.

851
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 3: And it made so much sense when I realized that

852
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 3: I had been doing that and blocking it because for

853
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 3: so long it meant crisis for me.

854
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: Like for so long if I felt these things, I'm

855
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 1: not getting out of it. I'm running to the nearest something.

856
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 3: And like so when something like no, I know all

857
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 3: too well, like edit, Yeah, it's a weird thing. To

858
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:31,760
Speaker 3: then kind of grow up and mature and be able

859
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 3: to recognize those trauma responses that you have and finding

860
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 3: a therapist who can understand that is so important.

861
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:40,320
Speaker 1: How old were you when you met your therapists?

862
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 2: Sixteen or seventeen. We really tried everything, like we were

863
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 2: going as spiritual healers. Towards the end, Mum was like,

864
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 2: let's just do whatever anyone you know, like throwing stuff

865
00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:51,279
Speaker 2: at the wall.

866
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 1: At this point, I mean you kind of have to eigh.

867
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,760
Speaker 2: We ran out of you know, It's like at some point,

868
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 2: maybe the guy with magic hands that you know, all,

869
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 2: maybe he will help, and he did, Yeah, and he

870
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:04,359
Speaker 2: did a little bit.

871
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 3: Well you literally we had someone a phenomenal Malti girl

872
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 3: who went through a spiritual healer and worked for her.

873
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 1: And I was like, this is amazing.

874
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 3: Depending on who you are as a person and kind

875
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 3: of the things that something that works for me is

876
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 3: not going to work for you, and vice versa, and

877
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 3: so finding that person that you can click with and

878
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 3: the therapist like for you to be able to like

879
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 3: find that person who will just bring you and be like,

880
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 3: I'm calling you on your bullshit? Isn't it so good

881
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 3: to find that person?

882
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 2: Your healing journey is your own, and you have to

883
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,480
Speaker 2: stick around long enough to find out what works for

884
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,280
Speaker 2: you because something really.

885
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,120
Speaker 1: Well, Oliver, you would have never said that last year.

886
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: No, of course not. No, maybe I won't say it

887
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 2: next year. What's how we go? No?

888
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: You will. You will because you've experienced now.

889
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 3: And I'm not talking about again, like I need to

890
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 3: make it so abundantly clear, I'm not talking about like

891
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 3: career excess success, sorry, but the moments that you've had,

892
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 3: like at the at the Taylor Swift concert, not getting

893
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 3: the hat, but the moment of looking up and being like,

894
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 3: oh my gosh.

895
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 1: Like I'm here.

896
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,359
Speaker 3: Like, because you've experienced those moments, you'll know what that

897
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 3: is the next time that life depths, because life does,

898
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 3: you will know what it is that you're aiming towards

899
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 3: getting back to you and you will know that that's

900
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 3: what hope is, because last time you.

901
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: Didn't know what hope was, it wasn't just very lost. Yeah, well,

902
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 1: what do you think hope is to you now?

903
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 2: I think it's just like a faith like belief that

904
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,919
Speaker 2: it will get better like it is. And I say

905
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 2: faith not in a religious way, but in a way

906
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 2: that's like when you get that bad that you like

907
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 2: lose hope, it's you have to just really believe that

908
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 2: it will get better. And it's so impossible to see

909
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,280
Speaker 2: when you're that bad.

910
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 1: If you could be in the same room as little

911
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,759
Speaker 1: sixteen year old Oliver, you could be in that high

912
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 1: care psych wood sitting opposite him, what would you say

913
00:41:58,239 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: to him?

914
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,320
Speaker 2: Listen, yeah, just listen.

915
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,480
Speaker 1: What do you think he would say?

916
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 2: He'd probably screamed for like twenty minutes and then and

917
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:14,240
Speaker 2: then he just say I'm tired and it hurts. Yeah,

918
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 2: and that's okay?

919
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: Was it a.

920
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 3: I don't know if you ever found out or not,

921
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,239
Speaker 3: Like with with your depression and the stuff that you

922
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,839
Speaker 3: were dealing with, was it it like a chemical thing

923
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 3: for you or was it situational because obviously it came

924
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 3: from like started, I guess from the breakup that you

925
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 3: had was something that had been there beforehand.

926
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: I'm not sure it's bad enough that like it must

927
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 2: be chemical, yeah, just because it was. You know, it's

928
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 2: so ridiculous. I have I have a good life, beingly

929
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 2: on paper, like, yeah, have a very good life, but

930
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:45,360
Speaker 2: I have a brain that attacks itself and quite aggressively,

931
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 2: and so yeah.

932
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 3: What's so interesting is that with a brain like yours

933
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 3: and like mine as well, I mean not mine came

934
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 3: from a lot of trauma stuff as well, and these

935
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 3: beliefs that kind of develops with me. But also the

936
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 3: way that your brain functions and does go in these

937
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 3: really lows is also the exact same brain that has

938
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 3: this wild creativity and these beautiful moments and can see

939
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,440
Speaker 3: things that other people can't see, and like carries this

940
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 3: lightness and this kindness that.

941
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: You have, Like I know that for me.

942
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 3: So I've got ADHD and what I remember, shut.

943
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,640
Speaker 1: Up, do you have ADHD.

944
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 2: Who knows, I've got a whole bunch of stuff.

945
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 1: You should get tested.

946
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: I can find out on TikTok, now, can't you? You just

947
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 2: like that?

948
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 1: I mean, that's legitimately how I found out.

949
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 2: If you see hashtag ADHD on TikTok means you have.

950
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:35,839
Speaker 2: But I think that's how it works, right.

951
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 3: They probably would go a little bit further to say

952
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 3: you should talk to someone.

953
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: I started seeing these videos and was like this.

954
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 3: I just thought this is who I was like as

955
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 3: a person, like this is just me, And I was like, no,

956
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 3: this is a disorder. And but the thing is right,

957
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 3: my HD brain that like I struggle to do so

958
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: many normal everyday things, is the same brain that my

959
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 3: impulsivity is what has broke through most of my career

960
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 3: and has allowed me to do so much of the things.

961
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 3: And there was a thing that I saw or some

962
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 3: psychologist says that people with ADHD don't just think outside

963
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,439
Speaker 3: the box, they create an entire new one.

964
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,200
Speaker 1: And without saying you have ADHD, I feel like you are.

965
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 3: That person as well, who has this wildly creative brain

966
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 3: that you don't just think outside of the box like

967
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 3: you do create an entire new thing, and I love

968
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 3: like you post so unapology, unapologetically, like twelve million times

969
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 3: a day sometimes and then not at all other times.

970
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 3: When I first met you, you were posting like six

971
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 3: even eight times a day.

972
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:39,719
Speaker 2: It was a lot. Yeah, it was just like.

973
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 3: Wok is because your brain was just going and you

974
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 3: were like, post, post, post post.

975
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 2: It's fun. I find it. I do what I feel

976
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 2: like I should do at the time.

977
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:49,280
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you have Do you have gratitude

978
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 3: for your the way that your brain works in that?

979
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, My ability to improv is for my ability

980
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: to what's it called when you bring things on to

981
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 2: yourself manifest Yeah, my my skills. I went to the

982
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,839
Speaker 2: Travis Kelcey's School of Manifestation. Like, I'm right up there

983
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 2: like everything. I really do believe that everything happens exactly

984
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 2: when it's supposed to.

985
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 3: What do you think of the first signs for you

986
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 3: that you need to take moments for yourself?

987
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,800
Speaker 1: What starts happening in your world that you're like, oh, Oliver,

988
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,040
Speaker 1: I just I do it.

989
00:45:26,080 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 2: I intrinsically, I act. I act out what I need.

990
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,880
Speaker 2: Most of the time. I find myself acting out what

991
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 2: I need most of the time. Yeah, so I'll just start.

992
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 2: It's it's more the mental shift of accepting that because

993
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 2: before I would I realized now that like, that's what

994
00:45:44,560 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 2: I need if I'm doing nothing, if I'm scoring on

995
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 2: tiktalk for days at a time, that's what I need

996
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:49,400
Speaker 2: for me.

997
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:51,399
Speaker 1: Right now, that's your screen time on TikTok before.

998
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,360
Speaker 2: Do you want to know it? Yeah? Really?

999
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Right now? Cheerfull them up?

1000
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:58,839
Speaker 3: Okay, hang on, Oliver's Oliver's going to get his phone,

1001
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 3: because as we need to find out from two people

1002
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 3: that spend their lives on TikTok, what our what our

1003
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 3: screen time is.

1004
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 1: In a way that I'm nervous, don't understand.

1005
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 3: This is a very important information that we must find

1006
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 3: I'm actually kind of nervous, to be honest.

1007
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:15,960
Speaker 1: Who do you think's gonna have higher?

1008
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 2: My last week's oat of screen time was fourteen hours

1009
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:18,720
Speaker 2: and thirty minutes.

1010
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 1: That's not terrible. No, mine was ten hours and thirty

1011
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: eight Yeah, but that.

1012
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,240
Speaker 2: Doesn't make any total total screen time of one hundred

1013
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 2: and one hours?

1014
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:30,120
Speaker 3: And wait last week? Hang on, how do I then

1015
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 3: we go to the week before?

1016
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 2: Oh, what was the week before? Is this daily average?

1017
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 1: My week before.

1018
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:43,240
Speaker 2: More than fourteen and a half hours.

1019
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 1: Thirty three hours, thirty three hours.

1020
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 2: Talking about Oh that's total screen time, babe, I'm blowing that.

1021
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,400
Speaker 3: Oh okay, we're just talking about TikTok.

1022
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 1: We're just.

1023
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:59,600
Speaker 2: I'm different all of that. I'm like done one of

1024
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 2: the My god, let's got brain rop for brain rock.

1025
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,759
Speaker 1: Can I can I read your time out of your

1026
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: total screen time? Oliver's total screen time last week?

1027
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 4: One hundred and one hours even one hundred and one

1028
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:12,799
Speaker 4: hours and a week.

1029
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: Oh, let's find out two four six.

1030
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 3: That's like you've spent almost four consecutive days. I am

1031
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:23,280
Speaker 3: this is the life of people who live their lives online.

1032
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 3: That's that's that's impressive. I'm really Oh you still want

1033
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,320
Speaker 3: the same phone cases when I gave you the phone,

1034
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 3: of course, Please gave me this phone that's really cute.

1035
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 2: Until the end of time, I will vanquish your enemies

1036
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 2: and come what you call like, I really am here.

1037
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, this is Taylor Swift. You look like

1038
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 3: you're worshiping Taylor Swift.

1039
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:49,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she is to be worshiped.

1040
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:51,280
Speaker 1: I still cannot.

1041
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 3: I feel I'm now one degree away from Taylor sworft

1042
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 3: By that's my girl, that's honestly, and being in those moments,

1043
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:00,760
Speaker 3: Like the only thing I can ever even slightly related

1044
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 3: to is when I was in Vegas and got to

1045
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 3: go backstage with Lady Gaga and.

1046
00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:08,600
Speaker 1: Was just, wit, what did I tell you this? I

1047
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 1: hung out with her, I'll throw up so oh my gosh.

1048
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 3: So I worked with her mum for a while and

1049
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 3: I was going to Vegas with my friend and she

1050
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 3: Gaga's my message and was like, Hey, do you want

1051
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 3: to come backstage? It's her final jazz concert that she

1052
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 3: was doing her residency in Vegas, and so we were

1053
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 3: like yeah.

1054
00:48:24,719 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: So we go backstage thinking that.

1055
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 3: We would like maybe get to like see her quickly,

1056
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 3: like take a photo with Gaga. If fat no, we

1057
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 3: can give it a family wristband. We go into this

1058
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 3: little family room. There's like four of us in there,

1059
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 3: and Gaga comes in before the show and she's chilling

1060
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 3: in there for like an hour. She's got a track

1061
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 3: sit on, She's sitting there talking to me about mental

1062
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 3: health and like all the stuff.

1063
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:44,279
Speaker 2: That we do.

1064
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 1: She's so I was just like in awe, And then I.

1065
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,920
Speaker 3: Was like, I can't ask for a photo that this

1066
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:52,840
Speaker 3: is such an inappropriate time to ask for a photo,

1067
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 3: but I do have, like there's like this sneaky like

1068
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:56,920
Speaker 3: little thing that I took on my phone just to

1069
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 3: prove I was there, because no one's gonna believe me

1070
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,240
Speaker 3: when I'm like I was backstage.

1071
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 2: With I don't have to believe you. You know what

1072
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 2: You're life.

1073
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 1: It's such an insane moment.

1074
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 2: That's Lady Gaga's I love her and she's yeah, she's

1075
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,360
Speaker 2: the she is one of the queens. Yeah, like she

1076
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,040
Speaker 2: really paved the way.

1077
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 3: And she's so she's so genuine, Like I was at

1078
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 3: an event the night before. I won't know her, but

1079
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:22,319
Speaker 3: as another aid list SLIBS event who's also quite quite

1080
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 3: bigger mental health and just it was quite a striking

1081
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 3: contrast between someone that looked like they were possibly not

1082
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 3: how do I say this like tick a box kind

1083
00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 3: of thing, like this is social responsibility to probably do this,

1084
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 3: whereas Gaga was so human genuinely invested and like wanted

1085
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:44,759
Speaker 3: to create change and wanted to like see what we

1086
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 3: could do, and like before her concert she does this

1087
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 3: like preer circle side stage, she invited us down like

1088
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 3: holding hands with her and this bloody praer circle I'm like,

1089
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 3: what is this is crazy?

1090
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:58,520
Speaker 2: It's Gaga and like Chapel Rome.

1091
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, those people.

1092
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 2: I love Chaperone so much. They make me feel encouraged

1093
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,640
Speaker 2: to indulge in ridiculous and I just adore that. I

1094
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 2: just find that just to be so wonderful because it's good.

1095
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 2: We don't have a lot of that New Zealand. We

1096
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 2: don't have there's no characters in New Zealand to like

1097
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 2: model like you know, anything off.

1098
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 3: Have you experienced tool poppy syndrome of New Zealand, Yeah,

1099
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 3: of course I have.

1100
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,239
Speaker 2: It's weird island nation. It's going to happen, you know,

1101
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 2: it's it's gonna happen.

1102
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 1: It's a weird it's a really weird thing.

1103
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 3: For those of you who aren't from New Zealand, we're

1104
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 3: obviously so far away from the world, and there's a

1105
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 3: thing called tool poppy syndrome, which is basically like no

1106
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 3: one is allowed to rise above the rest, and so

1107
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 3: if anyone has seen to be succeeded in any kind

1108
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 3: of way, New Zealand kind of tends.

1109
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,560
Speaker 1: To cut them down quite fast.

1110
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:46,240
Speaker 3: And it's really weird when you then go to America,

1111
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 3: Like I got so used when people would ask me

1112
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:49,919
Speaker 3: what I did, or like love America what I do,

1113
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:53,160
Speaker 3: and I would just be like, I work in mental health.

1114
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: And then my friend Nix who like she just wanted

1115
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 1: dancing with the stars, and I was.

1116
00:50:56,040 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 3: Like about, I walk your shits. Dan On Bennison, I'm

1117
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,360
Speaker 3: learning to us Americans.

1118
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 2: I love them, I love I love I love Americans.

1119
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 2: I find them so wonderfully optimistic. Their optimism comes with

1120
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 2: delusions of grande. But I will take it. I will

1121
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 2: take the delusion if it means the optimism truly, I will. Yeah.

1122
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 2: I Bobby they they they like Trojan Horse Tour Bobby

1123
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:31,320
Speaker 2: in with under the guise of humility. Hey me humble,

1124
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 2: Hey man, I'm I'm winning though. Yeah, Like I'm up

1125
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 2: right now, like rather than like trying to make me humble,

1126
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 2: come up here with me, dude. It's great.

1127
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:43,439
Speaker 3: And you also not with people like us? What's keeping

1128
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 3: us the most humble our own damn brains? Like, trust

1129
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 3: me when I say we don't need to be.

1130
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 2: I hate me more than you ever could, sir, So

1131
00:51:51,719 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 2: I'll stop you right there.

1132
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 3: It's not gonna Yeah, what does the next year look

1133
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 3: like for you?

1134
00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 2: Ridiculous? Yeah? Can you tell us anything I need at

1135
00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 2: Ariana Grande. That's my that's my day. One that'll happen.

1136
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:06,720
Speaker 1: I love this for you.

1137
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:08,640
Speaker 2: No, whatever, what is the next year? Look like I

1138
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 2: might do a show. I think I'm going to do

1139
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 2: a show. I had plans to do a show called

1140
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 2: The Olive Show.

1141
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 1: Yes, I saw this, but I do this, yeah, just

1142
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: it just felt there.

1143
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 2: It just wasn't ready and I had a bunch of

1144
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 2: stuff move around in my life that I wasn't ready for.

1145
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 2: And so yeah, I think I will. I think I

1146
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 2: will do that, but I might move overseas for that.

1147
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 2: I might move somewhere to do that, or you know,

1148
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 2: or maybe sell the show to something. It's quite it's

1149
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,799
Speaker 2: quite hard. Yes, it was just me, like I have

1150
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:39,680
Speaker 2: it set up in my garage where I was going

1151
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 2: to do it. But you know, I found quite quickly

1152
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,919
Speaker 2: I was lacking a lot of the skill required. Yes,

1153
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 2: I mean like we have producers out there that know

1154
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 2: how hard it is to create anything, yeah, and also.

1155
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 1: Creatives.

1156
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was like, I'll just do that, and

1157
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I have no idea what I'm doing,

1158
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:58,239
Speaker 2: so but no, that'll that'll happen. I just need to

1159
00:52:58,239 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 2: figure out what it is.

1160
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 1: Can you get around with other creatives and they help

1161
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:03,160
Speaker 1: you figure it out?

1162
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:06,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, no exactly, But otherwise, like I really am just

1163
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 2: where I'm supposed to be, exactly where I'm supposed to

1164
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:12,719
Speaker 2: be there, I'm just I'm just pottering.

1165
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 1: And I have already asked you kind of what I

1166
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:15,239
Speaker 1: always do.

1167
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,799
Speaker 3: Is the last last question in regards to what Hope

1168
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 3: means to you, So I'm not going to make you

1169
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 3: answer that again, but I would love you to give

1170
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:24,200
Speaker 3: advice to any person that is listening to this or

1171
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 3: watching this, whatever platform they may be doing. So, people

1172
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:32,399
Speaker 3: that are struggling with their own minds, that feel outcasts,

1173
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 3: that feel like there is no hope for them, that

1174
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 3: feel like you did in that ward and like you

1175
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 3: did last year, what would you say to them?

1176
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 2: It's dreadful. You just have to hold on, you really do.

1177
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:50,120
Speaker 2: Just have to hold on. There will come a day

1178
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 2: soon where you won't recognize the pain you feel now,

1179
00:53:55,719 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 2: and that is worth all of the strife. Just get

1180
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 2: there and then we'll be good.

1181
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 1: I love that, love you, I love you.

1182
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,360
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for coming up and for doing

1183
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 3: another episode.

1184
00:54:09,600 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 1: Another season of Hope is real. Honestly, it's been Yes,

1185
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:14,440
Speaker 1: can we actually, of course we need to.

1186
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 3: There's so much that happens in your life in a year,

1187
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 3: like it's so it's so wild seeing it unfold, and

1188
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 3: I am so like, I know that you obviously have

1189
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 3: achieved so much in the last year, but just for

1190
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 3: who you are, Like, I'm so.

1191
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: Freaking proud of you.

1192
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:31,759
Speaker 3: You fought so hard, harder than most people will comprehend

1193
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,840
Speaker 3: to have the life that you have, to be able

1194
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 3: to be in the situations that you are, to be

1195
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 3: able to face the things that you do.

1196
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: It hasn't been easy for you.

1197
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:43,040
Speaker 3: And you have freaking, like tooth and nail, fought this

1198
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 3: shiz and you have done it, and you're here and

1199
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 3: you have more optimism, you have more hope. You're not

1200
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:53,160
Speaker 3: the same person that was sitting here a year ago,

1201
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 3: and that's just testament to your freaking hard work and

1202
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 3: the people around you and the people you've surrounded yourself with.

1203
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: But you did that, all of it. You did it.

1204
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, thank you so much for.

1205
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 2: Coming, happy to be here always.

1206
00:55:06,080 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 3: Well there you have it, guys, Thank you so much

1207
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 3: for staying and for listening to this episode. And like

1208
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 3: I've said, at the beginning, and I always say, if

1209
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 3: anything in this episode that's been talked about has brought

1210
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 3: anything up for you, you feel like you need to talk

1211
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:22,280
Speaker 3: to someone, then please remember and know that the bravest

1212
00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,799
Speaker 3: thing that you can do right now is to talk

1213
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,520
Speaker 3: to someone, is to ask for help, whether that's from

1214
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:30,040
Speaker 3: a friend, a family member, or if you don't know

1215
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 3: who to talk to, then if you live in Alta

1216
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 3: Doola here you can call or text one seven three

1217
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 3: seven at any time to talk to a trained counselor.

1218
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 1: Or if you live.

1219
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:41,880
Speaker 3: Overseas, go to dub dub dub dot the Voices of

1220
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 3: Hope dot org for a list of international helplines. Remember

1221
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,560
Speaker 3: that no matter what it is that you're facing, no

1222
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 3: matter what it is that you're going through, that in

1223
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 3: all things, hope is real and change is possible.

1224
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:54,359
Speaker 1: I'll see you guys next week.