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Speaker 1: From the ZM podcast network.

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Speaker 2: At the age of five, I was in a home

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Speaker 2: where they staid there with my foster appearance. You know,

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Speaker 2: they weren't treating us very well. I was like, this

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Speaker 2: is weird. I don't understand this, and yeah, I sort

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Speaker 2: of just went with it. That's the hard part. I

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Speaker 2: think that's what I recognized as a kid was that

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Speaker 2: I had no control and I knew I needed to

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Speaker 2: get away, but I couldn't. Cut to everybody.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back to another episode of Hope is Real the podcast.

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Speaker 3: I hope you guys have had a great day, a

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Speaker 3: great week. I am very very much looking forward to

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Speaker 3: today's episode. This episode is one that is so inspiring,

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Speaker 3: that is filled with hope but also filled with tragedy.

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Speaker 3: Whitney another person that I met on a Voice of

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Speaker 3: Hope campaign. I feel like I'm bringing you all of

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Speaker 3: the Voices of Hope campaign people this season. But that's

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Speaker 3: because these stories, as I've been interviewing them the first time,

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Speaker 3: at ones that I know need to be shared wider.

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Speaker 3: Whitney grew up in Cith's care and if you live

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Speaker 3: Overseas the New Zealand equivalent to child protection. She talks

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Speaker 3: about every experience that she had, from living in a

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Speaker 3: tent to stuff that she had to suffer through when

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Speaker 3: she was younger, not knowing how old, she was not

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Speaker 3: fitting in at school, and all of the kind of

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Speaker 3: mental trauma that that led to. She talks about being

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Speaker 3: in a domestic violence relationship and the impact that that had,

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Speaker 3: but also why it was that she got into that,

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Speaker 3: and why it was that she felt she couldn't leave

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Speaker 3: and what was it that led her to leave. Whitney

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Speaker 3: is a phenomenal human. She has taken all of this

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Speaker 3: pain and she's chosen to turn it around and she

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Speaker 3: now works in mental health and is trying to fight

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Speaker 3: for other people every single day. She went through a

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Speaker 3: different method of healing than I've experienced before, where medication

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Speaker 3: wasn't something that helped her, but multi practices and multi

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Speaker 3: healing was, and she talks more about that and kind

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Speaker 3: of explains what that is. But this episode is a goodie.

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Speaker 3: As always, if anything in this triggers you, please at

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Speaker 3: any time you can stop, take a break, call, text

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Speaker 3: to help line, a friend, a family member. You are

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Speaker 3: not in this alone. But Whitney's story is coming up

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Speaker 3: right after this. Hi, Hi am so excited to have

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Speaker 3: you on here. This is the second time I've interviewed

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Speaker 3: you in a very short space of time. I first

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Speaker 3: met you on when we were doing Voices of Hope campaign,

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Speaker 3: and I remember sitting there and very first meeting you,

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Speaker 3: and you just had this like really calm presence, and

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Speaker 3: then getting to know your story more and talking to

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Speaker 3: you and being like, I just I need people to

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Speaker 3: hear the story more and I need to talk to

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Speaker 3: you more. Because obviously this was such a short kind

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Speaker 3: of total project we were doing, so I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, come on my podcast.

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Speaker 3: I was like, of course, welcome to homes on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: It's a little bit different.

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Speaker 3: From the from the Voices campaign that we were doing,

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Speaker 3: but I'd love very at the very beginning, introduce yourself

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Speaker 3: to our listeners.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm Whitney. I grew up in Totonger and

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Speaker 2: I've been obviously working in mental health space for the

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Speaker 2: past five years and I'm now in Tomickimikoto and i

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Speaker 2: moved here around probably two years now, so I don't

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Speaker 2: know what that was. That was twenty twenty two.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, I honestly feel like two years ago

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Speaker 3: should be like twenty twenty but COVID's really just spener.

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Speaker 2: I reckon, Like I feel like I missed some of

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Speaker 2: my years and my twenties. You know, yeah, me too.

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Speaker 3: I've went into lockdown like twenty two, and I've come

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Speaker 3: out of it like twenty eight, and it's.

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Speaker 2: Like, ah, I know what, it's crazy. Where does it go?

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Speaker 2: It's so scary.

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Speaker 3: If it's fine, we're here, we made it through, and

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Speaker 3: now we get to sit down and we get to chat.

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Speaker 1: I would love to just literally go right back to

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Speaker 1: the beginning.

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Speaker 3: You have quite a crazy story that as we were

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Speaker 3: chatting and I was interviewing you, I related to it

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Speaker 3: so much. We actually have quite similar stories and ways

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Speaker 3: and then very different in others.

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Speaker 1: What was life like growing up for you? What was

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Speaker 1: your childhood like?

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Speaker 2: It was definitely it was like I just was so confused,

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Speaker 2: you know, I was bouncing from home to home. All

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Speaker 2: I can remember was at the age of five, I

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Speaker 2: was in a home where I believed, you know, that

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Speaker 2: was they said there with my foster pearance. But they weren't.

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Speaker 2: You know, they weren't treating us very well. You know,

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Speaker 2: we didn't get the the right like, we didn't get

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Speaker 2: enough clothes to go to school, we didn't get enough

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Speaker 2: food to eat, and so then yeah, I apparently we've

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Speaker 2: just been bouncing home to home and this was our

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Speaker 2: last home before before moving out back to our family.

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Speaker 1: When were you When were you taken from your family?

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Speaker 2: I was told like to like too, I was taken

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Speaker 2: away from mom and dad, and I think they were

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Speaker 2: just so young to have us, and they were like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: they just weren't able to have, you know, look after

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Speaker 2: us as kids. So yes, I got involved and talk

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Speaker 2: me and my brother away.

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Speaker 3: Looking back on that experience now, I know that there's

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Speaker 3: been so much uproar with and I don't even myself.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you've ever done this or not,

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Speaker 3: but I had to get access to my files for

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Speaker 3: the movie that I was doing, Girl on the Bridge,

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Speaker 3: and it's wild reading through it and being like, what

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Speaker 3: were you doing? Like you caked this investigation stuff so much.

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Speaker 3: The case like opens and closes. I've had other people

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Speaker 3: read through it being like this is so obvious, but

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Speaker 3: Stef's had to go through an entire like restructure.

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Speaker 1: Because of the fact that this system wasn't working.

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Speaker 3: Looking at it now as an adult and kind of

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Speaker 3: I guess where you were placed.

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Speaker 1: How do you feel about that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really odd, Like we would get like

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Speaker 2: social workers. It would come and chicken every so often,

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Speaker 2: but I felt like they were just walking in and out,

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Speaker 2: but they don't really know what's going on. You could

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Speaker 2: almost put a facade on and say everything's going well

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Speaker 2: at home. Really it wasn't.

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Speaker 3: And then you get put in a foster home that

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Speaker 3: doesn't provide for you.

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Speaker 2: No, they don't provide for us. You know, they probably

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Speaker 2: stopped the cupboards up before that the social workers got there,

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Speaker 2: you know, like yeah, you know, even just being young,

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure what was going on. I had a

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Speaker 2: knowing that there was just everything was just so wrong

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Speaker 2: and I was like, this is weird. I don't understand this,

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Speaker 2: and yeah, I sort of just went with it because

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Speaker 2: there's nothing you can do when you're little. You also

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Speaker 2: don't really understand, right, trying to figure out what it is,

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Speaker 2: and you're trying to discover what's going on, like because

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Speaker 2: you're young, you just want to be curious about everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and you just don't want it to be like that,

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Speaker 2: that's for sure.

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Speaker 3: Well, I also think that those formative ages like it,

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Speaker 3: there's all the studies and stuff obviously about a lot

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Speaker 3: of your core beliefs and identity being developed, especially at

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Speaker 3: you're very younger, like two to three years old, so

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Speaker 3: then being taken from your parents, and then your little

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Speaker 3: brain will have developed these beliefs and these responses and

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Speaker 3: behaviors that you didn't even consciously do, Like it's literally

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Speaker 3: just developed that fear of like I don't know, fear

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Speaker 3: of abandonment was a big thing that happens for kids

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Speaker 3: in those situations. Like it's wild how much the those

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Speaker 3: first few a few years of your life is so

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Speaker 3: formative as to who you are as a person.

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Speaker 2: Oh totally.

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Speaker 3: Do you have any like specific, any memories that stand

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Speaker 3: out to you from that Foster home that you were in?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was me and my brother. We spent a

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Speaker 2: lot of time at the beach, and I think it

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Speaker 2: was because they were never home or I just remember

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Speaker 2: the rainy days where the doors were locked. We came

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Speaker 2: home from school, the doors were locked. We didn't have

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Speaker 2: enough clothes. I was like, in the T shirt and shorts,

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Speaker 2: pouring down rain. I was like, what do we do?

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Speaker 2: We didn't want to be around the house. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: We end up at the beach. We just always spent

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Speaker 2: time at the beach, and my brother taught me how

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Speaker 2: to like fish. We would just get I don't even

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Speaker 2: know how we did today, Like we just wanted sticks

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Speaker 2: or whatever, and then like get some bait and they're like, fine,

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Speaker 2: of get some fish. I don't know how we ate it.

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Speaker 2: I can't actually remember that part, but we were just fish. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was a way to like kind of escape because

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Speaker 2: you know, they weren't really home. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I feel like at that age as well,

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Speaker 3: like and you're starting school and you're beginning to realize

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Speaker 3: that other kids aren't the same or have more stuff,

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Speaker 3: and like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you kind of feel like what is this you

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Speaker 2: know or something?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you were we were were missing out.

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Speaker 3: When did you begin to realize that your life and

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Speaker 3: what you were living in was not normal.

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Speaker 2: It was when I was seven. Yeah, we were living

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Speaker 2: in a tint at the time when we lost our

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Speaker 2: home from the people that were staying with We lost

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Speaker 2: our home and ended up living in a campsite and

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Speaker 2: we had a little tint And one night I was

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Speaker 2: like to my brother, oh my god, something's wrong. Like

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Speaker 2: I've realized something's wrong. I want to run away? Should

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Speaker 2: we run away? And he goes, we were going to

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Speaker 2: run away to us and not here? You know, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to be here. But yeah, I that was

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Speaker 2: when I realized I remember it very well, just lying

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Speaker 2: there with him and at night.

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Speaker 1: Just yeah, were you with like a family or anything

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Speaker 1: at that point, I.

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Speaker 2: Don't even know where they were to be honest, sheep,

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Speaker 2: just leave.

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Speaker 1: You just had a campsite.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Were you in school? Yeah? We were at school,

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Speaker 2: but it was also very rough school. I don't even

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Speaker 2: know if we were going there very often.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: All I care remember is like I don't know a

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Speaker 2: couple of days of the week, but of that school

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Speaker 2: where I couldn't remember.

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Speaker 3: This is why it's so important, Like I do schools

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Speaker 3: tours literally around the world. Now I get to speak

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Speaker 3: and from from primary through to high school and being

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Speaker 3: able to tell kids, like especially when it comes to bullying,

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Speaker 3: that you've got no freaking idea what kids in your

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Speaker 3: class are going through. You don't know if kids are

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Speaker 3: going home to family and their lovely house, or if

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Speaker 3: they're going home and not to a home, they're going

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Speaker 3: and sleeping in a tent like that. You know, been

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Speaker 3: able to teach your kids that and have those conversations,

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Speaker 3: and also to all of the like teenagers that listen

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Speaker 3: to this podcast to understand, like the kids that you're

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Speaker 3: seeing that might be kind of more outcast, Like you

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Speaker 3: just have no idea what people are going through.

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Speaker 2: Think about that all the time when you go out

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Speaker 2: to the schools, you know.

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Speaker 1: All the time.

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Speaker 2: All the time.

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Speaker 3: I met this fun kid who was living out of

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Speaker 3: his car and people were bullying him at school, and

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Speaker 3: he's like, man, like, I just I'm doing it so rough.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, kids just kids don't know what's going on.

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Speaker 2: And they have no control, right, you know, you can

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Speaker 2: only go with what's going on around you. And yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and that's the hard part. I think that's what I

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Speaker 2: recognized as a kid, was that I had no control. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I knew I needed to get away, but I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: When did you eventually get away?

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Speaker 2: It was when I was walking home that day from

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Speaker 2: my school. My brother and my grandparents found us, and

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Speaker 2: she had pulled us aside, you know, drove up towards

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Speaker 2: us while we're walking home. She goes, oh, my god,

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Speaker 2: like I've been trying to get hold of your kids

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Speaker 2: and I can't it's been it's your birthday this week

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Speaker 2: or something, and I thought, what, Oh, you don't know. No,

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Speaker 2: I didn't know. Oh my goodness. Yeah I'm gonna cry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I cry for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. That's when she didn't want to carry on.

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Speaker 2: They couldn't find us.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was that not steps responsibility to like your

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Speaker 3: biological family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's more to the story, to be fair, I

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Speaker 2: should look more into it. But yeah, I hardly really

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Speaker 2: saw them. It was because we lost contact. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: it was the time that she decided I don't want

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Speaker 2: to lose you anymore. But yeah, because she pulled us away,

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Speaker 2: you know, like we hopped in her car. I think

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Speaker 2: we went to her house that day and we got

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Speaker 2: all these munch cheese and stuff because making up for

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Speaker 2: our birthday. She gets into your birthday this week. I

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Speaker 2: actually didn't really know how old I was. Actually I

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Speaker 2: only remember that's how old I was from that day onwards,

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Speaker 2: and I was seven. Yeah. It was weird, man, Like

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Speaker 2: I don't know, just yeah, just so I don't actually

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Speaker 2: know when my birthday was. Before I was.

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Speaker 1: Like, how would you? How would you when you were

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Speaker 1: in these foster homes.

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Speaker 2: I think the school system helped me in a year,

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Speaker 2: you know everyone else's age. Yeah. It was the only

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Speaker 2: time like I knew how old I was.

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Speaker 3: That is absolutely wild. So your grandmother takes you? Where

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Speaker 3: does she take you?

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Speaker 2: We go to home and we have like we try

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Speaker 2: to make enjoy it, you know, like we just had

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Speaker 2: birthday things like she got us a gift and you know,

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Speaker 2: we had food there. And then when it all ended

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Speaker 2: that night, she said, oh, I have to take you

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Speaker 2: home now you can't stay and I can't. I was like, huh.

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Speaker 1: Huh what like, like her, what she's taking?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 2: To take us home? Yeah? It was because you know

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Speaker 2: she hit she she well I wasn't under her kid.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, of course she is this back to the tent.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, back to the tent. She took us back to

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Speaker 2: the tent. Yeah, And that's when she knew what she

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Speaker 2: needed to do, and so she fought back to get

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Speaker 2: us back.

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Speaker 1: And then she how olre you when she got your bag?

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Speaker 2: I'd say eight. It must have taken a year.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Which what would you want to say if you

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Speaker 3: could be in a room with people right now that

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Speaker 3: are running the child protection services? What would you say

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Speaker 3: to them?

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Speaker 2: Oh, they need to change the system. You know, I

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Speaker 2: think working in mental health over the past five years,

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Speaker 2: I've seen so many gaps in this system, and I

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Speaker 2: have a huge for my people, and unfortunately I old

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Speaker 2: feedback to my team leader and then obviously it's their

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Speaker 2: responsibility to go to someone else. But it never goes up,

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Speaker 2: you know, like your feedback, it doesn't really hit the

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Speaker 2: ground rolling.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's why these conversations are so important, right, because

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Speaker 3: if you can create enough public outrage, you can start

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Speaker 3: to see things shift. But even now, like I'm still

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Speaker 3: seeing stories flooding the news and social media of young

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Speaker 3: Malti kids that are being taken from their families a

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Speaker 3: lot of the time without so like there's obviously reasons

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Speaker 3: that automatic kid gets involved, but to take them then

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Speaker 3: out of their culture and out of like being surrounded

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Speaker 3: by their people. The fact that that hasn't changed now,

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Speaker 3: that's not okay, no, it's not like we're so much

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Speaker 3: older now. And the fact that for you as a kid,

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Speaker 3: that's still happening now, yeah, and that you ended up

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Speaker 3: in like I can't, I can't comprehend the fact that

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Speaker 3: this place that was supposed to protect you then.

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Speaker 1: Allowed you to be sleeping in a team.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. To be fair, the social worker stopped visiting from

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Speaker 2: that point onwards. So I'm wondering what, yeah, what my

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Speaker 2: false appearance at the time told them like, we don't know, have.

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Speaker 3: You ever been in contact with your foster appearance since.

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Speaker 2: Actually I was at once this post. I used to

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Speaker 2: deliver the mail in Naawa here and that family is

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Speaker 2: from there. I'm not gonna discuss names, but she was

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Speaker 2: at the mailbox as I loved the mail, and she goes, oh,

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Speaker 2: my god, is that you Are you married? Do you

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Speaker 2: have kids? And I was like what, Like, I was

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Speaker 2: so confused, and I said, no, no, I don't have kids.

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Speaker 2: All that I've got to carry on, you know, like

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Speaker 2: delivering the mail, and I just sort of said my goodbyes.

320
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Speaker 2: I came across to I don't know where. That's so weird.

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Speaker 2: I was delivering the mail.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you've moved and with your grandma.

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Speaker 3: And then when we were doing our interview, you were

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Speaker 3: talking about how you then kind of entered a very

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Speaker 3: white school, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And very well wealthy families who'd own a lot of land. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we ended up moving away onto the farm.

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Speaker 3: That's such a big contrasting difference. What school like for you,

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Speaker 3: high school amazing.

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Speaker 2: I had really good friends. I was very very high achiever,

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Speaker 2: way too much of a high achiever to a point where,

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Speaker 2: oh my goodness, my grandparents were really hard on me.

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Speaker 2: I didn't have a social life. Yeah, sport was it,

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Speaker 2: you know, pay sport, go home, repeate, go to school.

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Speaker 2: Because I think they just didn't want to see the

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Speaker 2: repeat in our family, you know, like me getting pregnant

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Speaker 2: young and losing kids or you know, I think they

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Speaker 2: just wanted to for me to have a good life.

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Speaker 2: So high school was really tough for me. But all

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Speaker 2: with it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's high school.

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Speaker 3: I mean the same.

343
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Speaker 4: For me.

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Speaker 3: High school was wild and I ended up moving out

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Speaker 3: of home when I was sixteen. And we were talking

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Speaker 3: just before this episode started about being on the Independent

347
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Speaker 3: Youth been there of course, which is something that, like

348
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Speaker 3: you said, like not a lot of people know about it,

349
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Speaker 3: and I remember for me it was the police that

350
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Speaker 3: got me onto it. And it's basically for those of you,

351
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Speaker 3: I guess from music Ellen and also not from New

352
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:05,160
Speaker 3: Zealand are listening to this, it's basically government support to

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Speaker 3: be able to live as a young person who's not

354
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Speaker 3: connected to their family, and it's really helpful to be

355
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,800
Speaker 3: able to kind of not end up on the street.

356
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Speaker 2: But there should be more awareness around it, because you know,

357
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,440
Speaker 2: I didn't know. At least someone told me about it, Like, yeah,

358
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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have known. Wouldn't have known.

359
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Speaker 3: And it frustrates me when people also look at that

360
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Speaker 3: kind of thing, A specific demographic of people look at

361
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,360
Speaker 3: that thing and like, oh, you're just taking like our tea.

362
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Speaker 1: And I was like, you try to have the upbringing

363
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Speaker 1: that you.

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Speaker 5: Have, got no support, no to make the best for

365
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Speaker 5: your life and obviously having the childhood that you did,

366
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Speaker 5: there was so much stuff and trauma that happened.

367
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Speaker 3: In what ways did that manifest and kind of impact

368
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,480
Speaker 3: your mental health?

369
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:02,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, it came in ways. I actually realized my mental

370
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 2: health had different Like there was always symptoms to today,

371
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,440
Speaker 2: Like as a kid, I was hearing voices. It was

372
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,639
Speaker 2: probably a trauma response to what was going on around

373
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Speaker 2: my environment. That disappeared when I was like thirteen or fourteen,

374
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Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, when I got into sport,

375
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,480
Speaker 2: it was like made things Okay, I was okay, you know,

376
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Speaker 2: I didn't have any mental health problems, but it was

377
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,600
Speaker 2: when home became a little bit unf you know, a

378
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 2: little bit chaotic with my grandparents. Yeah, obviously my drink.

379
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,600
Speaker 2: My granddad was drinking a lot of alcohol, and he

380
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:40,240
Speaker 2: stopped taking me to soccer, which obviously left me in

381
00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 2: a really bad mental state. And all the childhood just

382
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,359
Speaker 2: came all at once. Wow, And that's when I was

383
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,480
Speaker 2: just in a bad place from sixteen onwards.

384
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Speaker 3: I explained what that was, like what happened at sixteen sixteen?

385
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I felt like my grandparents had had a

386
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 2: lot of pressure on them and you know, and that's

387
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 2: when I knew I had myself. I realized everything that

388
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,400
Speaker 2: had happened to me as a child, and then I

389
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,560
Speaker 2: was getting treated at home. Everything that had bolded up,

390
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,439
Speaker 2: bottled up over the years just turned into suicidal thoughts.

391
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Speaker 2: And I wasn't good enough and I was fainting. I

392
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,520
Speaker 2: was having these weird fainting spells just randomly at school,

393
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 2: Like I was just faint, and I think I was

394
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:28,639
Speaker 2: just going through PDC. Yeah, and I didn't have my

395
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,720
Speaker 2: grandparents support at the time. They didn't understand what was

396
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 2: going through and yeah, yeah, no, and my friends were

397
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 2: really supportive. That's when I actually went on too that benefit. Yeah,

398
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 2: my friends decided, do you want to come and live

399
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 2: with us? My mum will help you. I was like, okay,

400
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,600
Speaker 2: and so I loved with her for the rest of

401
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 2: my high school years. Yeah, but I had those fainting

402
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,400
Speaker 2: spells for ages. I went to go see a psychologist

403
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,359
Speaker 2: and then they sent me to breathing specialists. I don't know.

404
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:57,800
Speaker 2: They were trying to figure out what was wrong with me,

405
00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 2: and they just said, I think it's a traum my response,

406
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 2: which makes sense. Yeah, but I didn't know. Everyone thought

407
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 2: I had epilepsy, and I was getting all these these

408
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:09,240
Speaker 2: treatments like, oh not, treatments are and tests done and yeah,

409
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 2: then I realized, I think that's just trauma.

410
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,240
Speaker 3: The body has like such a physical response to trauma

411
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,040
Speaker 3: that we don't even realize a lot of the time. I,

412
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 3: funnily enough, also had the fainting spells.

413
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 2: Did you which it's weird. I don't even know describe it?

414
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 2: How would you describe that they're not really fainting, but

415
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 2: you're not can't respond to people?

416
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 3: Well, I had I know that I have something called

417
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:32,159
Speaker 3: absent migraines, which is different, but like everything kind of

418
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 3: blacks out and then I kind of come to eventually,

419
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 3: but those ones, I literally was like passing out, but

420
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,239
Speaker 3: a lot of it, Like I can't remember who it

421
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,119
Speaker 3: was that I was talking to about it, but saying

422
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,239
Speaker 3: that when you go through the kind of things that

423
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,880
Speaker 3: we both did as kids, as young kids, that your

424
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,160
Speaker 3: body goes into that fital flight mode and if there's

425
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,480
Speaker 3: anything that can be triggered around it, whether it's like

426
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 3: senses or smells or anything, like, your body can just go,

427
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 3: I need to get out of your bomb.

428
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like it's very like you're like for me,

429
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,199
Speaker 2: I was present, but I couldn't respond to people around me.

430
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 2: It's just I just collapse and then I'm completely shut down.

431
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,399
Speaker 2: And I go like that for about an hour and

432
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, when I get out of it,

433
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 2: I just want to sleep and I'm just so exhausted

434
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 2: from what had happened. And it happened when I was

435
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,919
Speaker 2: playing soccer, would be at school and actually, you know,

436
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 2: it was really sad. Like I was a captain of

437
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,919
Speaker 2: the first living at tottle A Girls College in year thirteen,

438
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 2: and I remember I was giving the opportunity to take

439
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 2: that role on but every time I was playing I

440
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,199
Speaker 2: was fainting. I was like, oh my god. And so

441
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 2: unfortunately they had to take the role off me because

442
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 2: I kept fainting and gave it to someone else. And

443
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 2: I was really guarded because I couldn't play full games anymore,

444
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 2: and I couldn't take a team on, like you know,

445
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 2: lead the team because I keept fainting. Yeah.

446
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, when we were doing the then I kept alluding

447
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 3: back to it because the first time we met, the

448
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 3: first time I got to hear a lot of your story,

449
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 3: and you talked about there was a moment where you

450
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 3: came really close to not being here. Oh yeah, what happened?

451
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 2: I went I went to a concert with Mike's partner,

452
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:16,159
Speaker 2: Friday Gems, And yeah, I had taken a couple of substances,

453
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 2: like like I think they would PRECP or whatever, and

454
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 2: you thought it was just like just to go have

455
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 2: fun with but not realizing I had like taken something

456
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,679
Speaker 2: and that I shouldn't have. And at the time I

457
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:33,560
Speaker 2: was taking substances like very like almost self sabotaging myself,

458
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,960
Speaker 2: like overdoing it, like I'd get wasted and then it

459
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 2: would take two, you know, And I thought they were

460
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 2: safe and they weren't, and I remember I ran away

461
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 2: from him and I was like, nah, maybe I'll just

462
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 2: keep I'll take another one. So I took the second one,

463
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,479
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, my body just went

464
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 2: into shut down mode. Like intuitively, I just knew something

465
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 2: was wrong. I was high, but I knew, yeah, it

466
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,679
Speaker 2: was wrong. And I tried to find and I was

467
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: looking through the crowd to find my my expartner, and

468
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 2: I said, I need help. I think something bad's gonna

469
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 2: happen to me. And he said what I said, no,

470
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 2: just get us help now. I don't have much time.

471
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 2: And all I remember is just like vision was so fast,

472
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 2: like I couldn't see anything anymore, but my mind had

473
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 2: gone really clear, like I could tell this was my

474
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 2: last moments. And I was just processing the transition from

475
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 2: you know, being like overdose straight to like this could

476
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 2: be me about to in my life. And I was

477
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 2: like to myself, I'm my god, you're stupid. Why did

478
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 2: you do that? Like because I wasn't having my relationship,

479
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,640
Speaker 2: I thought just getting wasted and having a good time

480
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 2: at a concert would be the best thing. And yeah,

481
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,439
Speaker 2: we ended up in the ambulance scent and I just

482
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,560
Speaker 2: remember being like, Okay, this is it, and I remember

483
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 2: my body just going into relax mode and all of

484
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 2: a sudden everything just turned white. Oh and that's when

485
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 2: I yeah, I was like could feel myself leaving my body,

486
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, this doctor just well, I

487
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: don't know. I think it was a doctor. I don't

488
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 2: know who it was. He just ran to towards me,

489
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 2: and like they must've I must have like convulsed or

490
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 2: like gone into a seizure and woke up in the

491
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 2: ambulance and then yes, it dated me to sleep and

492
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: then woke up in Ico, but they keep putting me

493
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 2: back to sleep because I think my heart rate was

494
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:16,400
Speaker 2: so hogh.

495
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 1: Waking up and ic you is the weirdest experience.

496
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:19,880
Speaker 2: And I was like, what is going on?

497
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 1: Did you have the tube in your mouth when you

498
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 1: woke up?

499
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 2: I kin'd of remember I just made the mask and

500
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,160
Speaker 2: all the vent you know, all the machines.

501
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was like, what I remember waking up

502
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 3: after one of my my sooicida teams, waking up and

503
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,680
Speaker 3: I see you and like literally you kind of see

504
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 3: all of the wires and stuff. But I still had

505
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 3: the thing down my throat and I was like, oh

506
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 3: my god, I can't breathe, like choking. But obviously this

507
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 3: thing is like breathing for you because I couldn't breathe.

508
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 1: On my own.

509
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,679
Speaker 3: But also I see you. I don't know if it's

510
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 3: the same way you were, but I see you. When

511
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 3: I was in there as all open plan and so

512
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 3: I remember kind of like looking and then just seeing

513
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 3: these other people and strapped of ventilators like all beside

514
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 3: me and these beds, and being like what is going on?

515
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 2: Like the fact that you could see because I couldn't

516
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 2: was so blarry, you know, when you're so goea, like.

517
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,080
Speaker 3: What, Yeah, my hands were like tied down to the

518
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 3: bid because I think I was trying to pull out

519
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 3: my years.

520
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 2: Is that a reaction response, because that's what happened to me.

521
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 2: I remember lying there and I had just pulled out

522
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 2: needles out of my arm. They were running and I'm

523
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 2: like what and all you see his blood gushing. I

524
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, like.

525
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: I just need things out of my mind.

526
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 2: I was like, what is going on? Like I was

527
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 2: so confused, it's.

528
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: Such a it's such a weird thing.

529
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 3: And then also being like coming to the realization that

530
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 3: you literally actually nearly died.

531
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so really hard to explain, I'd be honest. Yeah,

532
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,159
Speaker 2: even though you know, you don't have to show the symptoms,

533
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 2: you can feel yourself going somewhere else that wasn't here,

534
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: and like, yeah, and seeing the white light and my

535
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 2: body processing things was just random. Like I had almost

536
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 2: lost the high after that, Like the high wasn't even

537
00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:01,199
Speaker 2: the non existent, it was just shutting my body down,

538
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: was trying to.

539
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 1: So you were in a relationship at oh, had just.

540
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 2: Ended it ended it within that year.

541
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it happened, which was quite a not great, No,

542
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 1: it was horrible, horrible.

543
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 2: We both had mental health issues that we should have addressed.

544
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,840
Speaker 2: And and yeah, we were both of us were in

545
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,439
Speaker 2: and out of mental health services, and the police were

546
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 2: often involved in our relationship because we just went healthy

547
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 2: for each other. You know, it was just we were

548
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 2: tall my bonding, I guess you put it the way. Yeah,

549
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 2: and then always using substances to escape our mental health. Yeah,

550
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 2: and that was tough.

551
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 3: Which these conversations the reason that I mean, there's so

552
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 3: many reasons that I don't want to say love having them,

553
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 3: because no one wants like you don't want, does.

554
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: Happen to anyone, no way.

555
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 3: But I think it also brings so much context to

556
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 3: people in situations that can be so stigmatized and misunderstood totally.

557
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 3: And I think that being able to bring a story

558
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,360
Speaker 3: behind what can be seen as a stigma, especially when

559
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 3: it comes to like DV relationships and like all of

560
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 3: that kind of thing to then kind of like for

561
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 3: people to understand like how someone can get to that point,

562
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 3: I think helps bring a little bit more understanding and

563
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 3: a little bit more empathy.

564
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, really having a mental health like if you're not

565
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 2: going to address it, it becomes an external like external

566
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 2: things come at you. Yeah, for you to realize and

567
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 2: go get help or Yeah, my relationships were deteriorating and yeah,

568
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 2: I was not looking after myself. It just was going downhill.

569
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: What was the turning point for you?

570
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 2: Turning point? Yeah, what was that turning point? It was

571
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 2: when I got pregnant. Yeah, I got pregnant to that

572
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 2: guy and I wanted the baby. And when I found

573
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 2: out got pregnant, I was like, this is not the guy,

574
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 2: This is not the guy. Oh my god, and I

575
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 2: want this And the doctor was so happy for me,

576
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 2: and I said I can't but you know, she didn't

577
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: quite understand. I said, I can't have the baby. I'm mother, Really,

578
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 2: you know, this guy isn't for me. So I went

579
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: through that whole process of yeah, aborting my baby, and it.

580
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 3: Was hard, the decision that you had to make for yourself.

581
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,720
Speaker 2: He didn't support it. So I went through those whole

582
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 2: symptoms pregnancy symptoms alone, like I was d I had

583
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 2: the worst pregnancy and yeah, I did it by myself,

584
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 2: the whole thing, and it was hard to take on.

585
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 2: And that's when I knew I wanted to leave him.

586
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 2: After that. It was that was actually soon after I

587
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 2: had that near death experience. Within the two weeks I

588
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 2: had that.

589
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 1: A near death experience will do that to you a

590
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: It was.

591
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 2: Like that happened, Okay, cool, well now you're pregnant, like

592
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 2: what like I So it happened pretty quickly and very Yeah,

593
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,360
Speaker 2: that was my transition to realizing I need to get

594
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 2: out of this and I'm going to go get my

595
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 2: healing done and then go and work in medwealth.

596
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,600
Speaker 3: Which I think is a I would really love to

597
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 3: talk about this because it wasn't something that I had

598
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 3: kind of heard a lot of your specific healing journey

599
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 3: which I think is so important because westernized medicine is

600
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 3: obviously one thing, and often especially in a lot of

601
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 3: countries where culture has been taken away from westernized people

602
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 3: coming in.

603
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:23,640
Speaker 2: Holistic side of things.

604
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like I know that.

605
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 3: Like for me, medication has been amazing, and for you

606
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:30,680
Speaker 3: that hasn't been the case. And I think it's important

607
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 3: to be able to tell all these different stories because

608
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 3: for some people medication will work and for other people

609
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 3: it's not. It wasn't going to work, and that wasn't

610
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 3: the case. You found healing in another way, Yeah, you

611
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 3: tell us about it.

612
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: Yeah. So when I obviously, you know, losing my identity

613
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: growing up, you know, I was trying to reconnect to

614
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: my culture. Yeah, Like it really really got to me

615
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 2: when I was going through my mental health journey how

616
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: much I wanted to connect to my culture. So, you know,

617
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 2: I was learning a bit about my fuck up, where

618
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 2: I was from and all that, and then yeah, I

619
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,480
Speaker 2: started to find out about that there's healers out there

620
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 2: that help people mental health or its chronic pain with

621
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 2: physical pain, and so my grandmother actually recommended that I

622
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 2: go to this Japanese holistic healer first, and so it

623
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,959
Speaker 2: was called reiki they call it, and he helped me

624
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 2: cure like my anxiety, my suicidal thoughts, and my depression

625
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 2: within like one session, and after that I was in

626
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 2: a really good space. And from there I started discovering

627
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 2: about tour hungers and then you know how what do

628
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 2: they call them, my t kits here, which is people

629
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 2: who can see beyond the physical and they help people

630
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 2: on their journey around mental health. And you know, this

631
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 2: got deep and deep into my culture and I tried

632
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 2: to incorporate them in to my work now to help

633
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 2: other maori. Yeah, but it really did. It did start

634
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,320
Speaker 2: from finding who I was again to connecting with this

635
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: reiki healer. Yeah, I love it. I make sure a

636
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 2: bit like a little bit to it because it's almost

637
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 2: like you know, when somebody's going like if your body

638
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: is like out of whacker into I just go straight

639
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 2: to a tohunga or align this again for me and

640
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 2: I feel renewed again, Like yeah.

641
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,840
Speaker 3: It's just it's so cool and I think like being

642
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 3: able to explore different avenues of healing and different kinds

643
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 3: I don't want to use with medicine, but I guess

644
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 3: you know, like it's different, it's just so.

645
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 2: It's more understood. I think, yeah, I think they are

646
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 2: starting to acknowledge it in the mental health space with

647
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: now getting Mauldi hellers come in, yeah, which is great

648
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: and even acc you can see that they've now got

649
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 2: that and that's so cool if you know about that,

650
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 2: but they you can ask for practitioner now.

651
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 3: That's so It's so important because Western medicine is not

652
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 3: going to work for everyone and for some people like

653
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 3: I personally have, I'm so thankful why we're on antidepressants

654
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 3: again how long like six months ago and for me

655
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 3: being able to of restabilized, but for a friend of

656
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 3: mine who went on them.

657
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: Didn't didn't work.

658
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 3: So personalized that having different options that you can try

659
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 3: is so important, and especially when you bring culture into

660
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: it and been able to kind of reconnect to that

661
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 3: for you and finding something that worked.

662
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: Not only it makes you feel connected to you know, Yeah,

663
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 2: well now that I go to talking as now not

664
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 2: so much with the reiki, I feel connected to my

665
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 2: culture and also know I'm getting healing done At the

666
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 2: same time, do.

667
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 3: You also feel like it's healing to your like little

668
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 3: two three year old self who was just kind of

669
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: ripped away from her culture and.

670
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 2: Her who she was. I mean, yeah, I don't know

671
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 2: how I would have Yeah, do you mean like how

672
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 2: I process it is that you a younger?

673
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, like just thinking about like being able to

674
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 3: I guess do all this stuff whilst connected to your culture,

675
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 3: if that has almost like healed your inner child a

676
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 3: little bit of this.

677
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: Kid who didn't know what was happening and was kind.

678
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: Of almost field that curiosity. Now I understand and or

679
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 2: like what's going on? Like I can reflect back now

680
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,479
Speaker 2: and then acknowledge what had happened to me and how

681
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 2: much I've turned that around to make it, you know,

682
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 2: way a bit alive. Yeah, you know, because I don't

683
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 2: ever ever Yeah, I want to be able to go

684
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 2: through that traumau again around reliving those moments.

685
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 3: But what would you say to other young MOLTI people

686
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 3: who I want to I'm going to ask you a

687
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 3: few different questions here because I know, for example, my

688
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 3: co founder of Voices of Hope, she's multigenv here and

689
00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 3: she had a very very different upbringing. She was very privileged,

690
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 3: but she never ever really connected to her culture and

691
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 3: felt really disconnected from it and has only just kind

692
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 3: of begun this journey of trying to rediscover that.

693
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:47,479
Speaker 1: What would you say to it?

694
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 3: To young people who might feel ashamed of their culture,

695
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 3: might be confused or detached from it, Like, what's your

696
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 3: advice there?

697
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: Definitely reaching out. There's providers out there that can help you.

698
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 2: There's a lot more support out there than we think.

699
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 2: We know, you know, just reaching out to the local

700
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 2: multi trust, they tend to have a lot of contacts.

701
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 2: And I tell you now, like working in that space,

702
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: you discover so many contacts and people that can help you,

703
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 2: and they're willing to help you. It's amazing and you

704
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:23,360
Speaker 2: will find yourself so much because that supports out there.

705
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,520
Speaker 2: You know, it's just google it. You come up with

706
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 2: dames and contacts, call and be like, hey, look I

707
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 2: would like to reconnect to my culture and I'm from here. Okay, cool,

708
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: We'll link you up to somebody. Yeah, and that's a

709
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,600
Speaker 2: matter of like, you know, few phone calls and then

710
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 2: you meet up and then you know it opens doors.

711
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, to kids in the foster care system, yeah, what

712
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 3: would you say to them?

713
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 2: That's a very hard question, you know, especially when I

714
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:53,440
Speaker 2: was saying before, you know, there's no control over your situation. However,

715
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 2: just know that keep persevering and ask someone for help

716
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 2: if you can at school and if they feel unsafe.

717
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 3: You know.

718
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 2: However, you know, I don't know what it's like these

719
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 2: days anymore.

720
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:12,800
Speaker 3: If it's changed, I think that they've tried to make changes.

721
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 3: But I think obviously, when when an entire system is broken,

722
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 3: it takes a long time to be able to put

723
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 3: the pieces back. But the reason I asked you that

724
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 3: is that I also just feel like seeing you now

725
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 3: and knowing what you do and working and mental health

726
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 3: and everything, and just knowing that for these kids at

727
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:33,280
Speaker 3: the hope for them.

728
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:37,759
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, it's definitely help because I always knew

729
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 2: I wanted to help people. So I think even in

730
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 2: that such I was very young, I think I knew

731
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 2: straight away that I needed to do something about it.

732
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 2: When I get older and what's a maut of this,

733
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 2: I'm going to sort this out. I want to fix

734
00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 2: the problem.

735
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: And that's what you're doing.

736
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, which is amazing.

737
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 3: Give you even do you take time to actually realize

738
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 3: that you like you did that this kid who had

739
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 3: literally nothing had to fight for her damn life.

740
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, is now. I think I have had a couple

741
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 2: of those moments, I think I do need to give

742
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,759
Speaker 2: myself more credit. Topic Yeah, yeah, yeah, you to.

743
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 3: Give yourself way more credit, like being able to be

744
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 3: a voice for these kids, but also just for yourself.

745
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 3: And like I keep thinking back to that kid who

746
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 3: didn't even know it was her birthday, which still makes

747
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 3: me to cry, And just seeing you now and just

748
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 3: knowing that you fought so hard for the life that

749
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 3: you have is so empowering. And I also think to

750
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 3: a lot of young people that are struggling is so

751
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 3: inspirational and I would love to know kind of what

752
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 3: you would say to I'm gonna go very pointed in here,

753
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 3: young girls who are in relationships that they know they

754
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 3: should not be in and they don't know how to

755
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,359
Speaker 3: get out of it. What's your advice there?

756
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, if I be honest with you, Yeah, when

757
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,840
Speaker 2: I was in that relationship because I didn't really have

758
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,960
Speaker 2: anyone and that's all I know, I sort of just

759
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 2: stayed until something really significant is going to impact you

760
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 2: from that relationship. That's when you walk away. But you know,

761
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 2: I think it's tirely up to the individual. It's really

762
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 2: hard to say, Like I'll be honest, like I stayed

763
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 2: because it was a safe almost felt safe, but it

764
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 2: wasn't safe, you know, because I had no one else

765
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 2: talked to. If I kept him around, it was filling

766
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,959
Speaker 2: a little bit of me. But I will say that

767
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 2: as soon as something very significant that's going to impact

768
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 2: you a lot in that relationship and it's not a

769
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: good thing at all, I'd remove myself. That's when, you know. Yeah,

770
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 2: especially after I had been when I got pregnant, I

771
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: knew straight away that was an instant, no question about it.

772
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,359
Speaker 2: But yeah, it takes a lot to really walk away

773
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:45,240
Speaker 2: from it. Yeah.

774
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 3: I also think it's really hard when you don't know

775
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 3: yourself will because it hasn't been.

776
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 2: No, and that's all you knew what I thought. That's

777
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 2: what love was, you know, even though it didn't I

778
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 2: knew it wasn't right. But you know, I thought, well,

779
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,399
Speaker 2: the s guy loves me enough, or you know, there's

780
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 2: ups and downs, Cole stay. But how many times do

781
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 2: I need to keep saying that and then talk something

782
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: actually happens? Oh my god. So yeah, that's a really

783
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: hard one. I think it's just when you know, when

784
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 2: something completely bad goes wrong in the relationship, you've got

785
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:18,840
Speaker 2: to walk away.

786
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: Or try to walk away before something goes wrong.

787
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, situation when it gets ugly, that's when you've

788
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: got a good do it, not when you know you're thinking,

789
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 2: you're thinking about it. But yeah, very something very significant

790
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 2: has to happen for you to just do it. Go,

791
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 2: you got to go.

792
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:39,280
Speaker 3: Why have you chosen to start sharing your story publicly?

793
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: Just get on to the other side, and all you

794
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 2: want to do is share it to the world. My

795
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:45,919
Speaker 2: grandmother said down on me one time and said, don't

796
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,720
Speaker 2: even feel embarrassed, right, don't even feel embarrassed about your story.

797
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 2: You've got to tell your story because there's going to

798
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 2: be other people out there going through the same and

799
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,800
Speaker 2: they want to hear and know that they're not alone. Yeah.

800
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 2: And I think after she'd telling me that, I was like, whoa, okay,

801
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:03,000
Speaker 2: sweet own it. Then, yeah, let's just own it. And

802
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 2: then once it comes out you you want to be

803
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 2: able to speak it to people because you know, if

804
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 2: they want to know who you are, you tell them

805
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 2: your story. Yeah, you know it shouldn't have to be embarrassed.

806
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then being able to know that there are

807
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 3: like younger versions of you out there who would love

808
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 3: to be able to know these kind of stories, know

809
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 3: that there was hope and know that And for me,

810
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 3: that's the whole purpose of this podcast is to be

811
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 3: able to tell all of these different stories so that

812
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,600
Speaker 3: if you see someone or you hear one story that

813
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 3: you relate to, you can know that, like, no matter

814
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 3: what it is that you're facing, there's always hope for

815
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 3: you to be able to move through. And your life

816
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 3: now is so evident of that. Who you are now,

817
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 3: Like you are such a I don't even like you're

818
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 3: such a there's always a weird word to use it

819
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,880
Speaker 3: you feel like such like a gilly person is what

820
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:49,439
Speaker 3: does it mean?

821
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:53,240
Speaker 4: Like like' like bushy and like just like like you're

822
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 4: so warm to be around, which I think is like

823
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,440
Speaker 4: incredible given your history and given what you grew up

824
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 4: in to be this like such a kind hearted, soft

825
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:04,959
Speaker 4: spoken but very strong.

826
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 3: Warrior, like to be able to carry that is something

827
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 3: that not a lot of people do a lot of

828
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 3: people can just live and rightfully so with the anger

829
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 3: of everything that happened, and I think there's always space

830
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:17,360
Speaker 3: for that.

831
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 1: But for you to be the person that you are

832
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: is phenomenal, and you.

833
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,480
Speaker 3: Are such a such a kind person and I've only

834
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,960
Speaker 3: spent two days with you now doing these kind of

835
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,879
Speaker 3: and both times has been like told me your life.

836
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 3: But like, you're such an amazing person and I'm so

837
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 3: thankful that you too. I'm so thankful that you have

838
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: chosen to share your story. I think that we need

839
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 3: more stories of hope, specifically within the stuff that you've

840
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 3: been through in your situation, and so for you been

841
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: willing to be that is amazing. And I love to

842
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,840
Speaker 3: ask you one more question before I wrap us up,

843
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 3: and I ask everyone this question. And like I said,

844
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:58,120
Speaker 3: just knocked my microphone.

845
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Like I said, this podcast called Hope

846
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 1: is real.

847
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 3: I want to know what does the word hope mean

848
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 3: to you?

849
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 2: Not giving up knowing that there's light on the other

850
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 2: side of the tunnel, even though you keep thinking you're

851
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 2: seeing dark all the time, there's always light. Yeah, And

852
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:18,240
Speaker 2: when you're there, you're there, You're like, whoa, it really

853
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: is true?

854
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, life can be so much better.

855
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 3: And obviously sometimes life goes up and down, like there's

856
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 3: literally what it is right, like it's a roller coaster.

857
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: But when you experience you feel like you.

858
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 2: Can't there's no escape. Yes, why you're trying to find

859
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 2: that light. Well, you've got to realize you are getting there.

860
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:38,040
Speaker 2: It's just keep persevering not to give up. Yeah, even

861
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,360
Speaker 2: though there's those moments you're like really like this is

862
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 2: happening to me again.

863
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know that things can always change.

864
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 1: And yeah, thank you so much for taking the time.

865
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 3: And tracking out to Auckland City to be able to

866
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,240
Speaker 3: come and hang out with us and shar your story.

867
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 3: You're so brave and you have done so incredibly well

868
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:59,320
Speaker 3: and I'm so proud of you and I'm so thankful

869
00:40:59,320 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 3: that the world has you.

870
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I appreciate that. Hey, I've got a little gift

871
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 2: for you. Oh gosh, I just got this little little

872
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:08,319
Speaker 2: gift for you, just just on your journey, you know,

873
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,240
Speaker 2: like how much you've done in regard to your healing.

874
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,319
Speaker 2: So yeah, just a little something for me.

875
00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 3: I'm going to cry.

876
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I just want you to keep this close

877
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 2: to you when when times are tough, because this is

878
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 2: very special. And yeah, I'm gonna cry. Oh my goodness.

879
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. Thank you and your an inspiration

880
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 2: to so many people, like and I want you to

881
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 2: remember that, Like, I don't know if you're having hard times,

882
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,120
Speaker 2: just know that you're doing such an amazing job.

883
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 3: What an emotional in this episode. For those of you

884
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 3: who are not obviously watching this visually, I just can

885
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 3: you oh my gosh, yeah, it's I can't.

886
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 2: I can't.

887
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 3: I'm gonna post I'll post the photo of this on

888
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:53,840
Speaker 3: our if that's okay.

889
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 2: It's just so oh my gosh. Yeah, thank you all

890
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: blessed and all that. So yeah, thank you so much.

891
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 3: I need to hug you.

892
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: I need to hug you immediately.

893
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 3: Well, there you have it, guys, thank you so much

894
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:10,319
Speaker 3: for staying and for listening to this episode. And like

895
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 3: I've said at the beginning, and I always say, if

896
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 3: anything in this episode that's been talked about has brought

897
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 3: anything up for you, you feel like you need to

898
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 3: talk to someone, then please remember and know that the

899
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,319
Speaker 3: bravest thing that you can do right now is to

900
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 3: talk to someone, is to ask for help, whether that's

901
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 3: from a friend, a family member, or if you don't

902
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 3: know who to talk to, then if you live in

903
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 3: Altaiola here you can call or text one seven three

904
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 3: seven at any time to talk to a trained counselor,

905
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 3: or if you live overseas, go to dub dub dub

906
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 3: dot the Voices of Hope dot org for a list

907
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 3: of international helplines. Remember that no matter what it is

908
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:47,359
Speaker 3: that you're facing, no matter what it is that you're

909
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 3: going through, that in all things, hope is real and

910
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 3: change is possible.

911
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: I'll see you guys next week.