Speaker 1: Live for the Export Beer Guns Studio and brought to you,
Speaker 1: as always by Export Ultra the beer for Here. This
Speaker 1: is the Agenda Podcast for Thursday, the tenth of October.
Speaker 2: The Agenda Podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and clap Trap,
Speaker 2: brought to you by Export Culture.
Speaker 1: And this morning I have split custody of the former
Speaker 1: Matt and Jury show.
Speaker 3: So you've you've just spent the last three hours with
Speaker 3: my ex.
Speaker 4: I have spent the last three hours.
Speaker 1: How is he all the same problems that you remember
Speaker 1: from the relationship?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can. You can take that the man out
Speaker 3: of the relationship, but he'll just ness heat wherever you go.
Speaker 3: That's where you that's where you are.
Speaker 4: That's rain.
Speaker 3: And he's always been abusive and he always will be that.
Speaker 4: It's good that other people can now see that. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: I mean, now you guess lighted me right to the
Speaker 4: relationship and now you can.
Speaker 1: See you you messaged me before. So can we just
Speaker 1: shuffle the podcast a little further forward? And I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I've got a bloody gun to your shirt because
Speaker 1: you you left and went upstairs, So yeah, I've got
Speaker 1: a bloody gun fill in And I've been saying I said,
Speaker 1: you said on the podcast set it today on the
Speaker 1: on the show on Hodaki. I love that it was
Speaker 1: billed as there's going to be a rotating cast of guests.
Speaker 4: First week's just man Lane.
Speaker 3: That's always the way. It's always been the acc way.
Speaker 4: We just circled jerk each other.
Speaker 3: It's the first person you see walking through the office.
Speaker 1: I had visions of Polly and Grant in stables, the
Speaker 1: who's who of New Zealand Radio Royalty.
Speaker 4: But no, it's just men. Men go to the.
Speaker 3: Names you can trust from down the hall. And I
Speaker 3: asked Stuart Glane, all the names you can trust.
Speaker 1: Names you can trust. How was your first week on
Speaker 1: air at ZIB.
Speaker 3: It feels like a lifetime. I can't remember anything else
Speaker 3: and this is this is going to be my blow
Speaker 3: off steam outlet the a c C. I.
Speaker 4: I reached out to.
Speaker 3: G Lane as soon as I went up to ZIB
Speaker 3: and one of the first texts I sent out was
Speaker 3: I'm not leaving the a c C. GLA, don't think
Speaker 3: I'm leaving the a c C.
Speaker 4: I'm going to need it. I'm going to need it
Speaker 4: more than ever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was a concern for that nice what does
Speaker 1: that mean he could still do the a sec Well.
Speaker 3: I did a bit of a chat last night a
Speaker 3: delivery of the new acc Omanac book, me g Lane
Speaker 3: and Dylan Cleaver did ye a play a play So
Speaker 3: we read out parts of the book, because you know
Speaker 3: how the book is an oral history with oh yeah,
Speaker 3: you'll say something, I'll say something. So we found a
Speaker 3: bit from twenty seventeen lines tour around when the Glane
Speaker 3: fans run assault on Precinct thirteen, situation on us on
Speaker 3: the backstage. Gulane fans are the worst, just Jy Laine Gulane,
Speaker 3: And we did that and then and then he started
Speaker 3: talking about their picture in the book where I stuck
Speaker 3: a frozen banana rubbersass, and I was thinking, I'm going
Speaker 3: to be running two separate lives here. I'm going to
Speaker 3: be down here. Are we still sticking? I'm still going
Speaker 3: to be sticking those frozen bananas and g Lane's ass.
Speaker 4: And that's the ears.
Speaker 3: I might just put on a bit of deodor and
Speaker 3: maybe have a shower and go up and yeah, it's
Speaker 3: the Jeremy Wells approach to life.
Speaker 4: Yes it is.
Speaker 3: You like two separate people, you like a split personality.
Speaker 1: It's hard to reconcile those two parts of Jeremy Welles
Speaker 1: because when you go out in public with him, boomer
Speaker 1: ladies are just drawn to him like moths to a flame.
Speaker 4: Oh boy, the boomer, the boomer, rural woman, the rural
Speaker 4: boomer woman.
Speaker 3: You go into a Royal cafe with Gulane, I mean
Speaker 3: with not Gelane, with Jeremy Wales and I with Gulane.
Speaker 4: No, no, he's not allowed in most of them. He's
Speaker 4: been banned.
Speaker 3: But going there with Jeremy Wales and it's like Beatlemania
Speaker 3: for boomers.
Speaker 4: Boomer mania.
Speaker 1: It is that they come up and ask him for
Speaker 1: photos and stuff like you are obviously not listening to
Speaker 1: radio hardach Well.
Speaker 4: I actually read about this recently.
Speaker 3: Me and another thing on the ACC men Dylan Cleaver
Speaker 3: did a co substack between the Bounce and Matt Heath
Speaker 3: got substack dot com, and I was just talking about
Speaker 3: how he was asking me that very question, Hey you
Speaker 3: do it, and I said, well. On our flight back
Speaker 3: from christ Church the other day, when we were launching
Speaker 3: the Black Class from a spar Paul at Hagley Oval.
Speaker 3: On the way back, Jerry ordered a coffee as vage
Speaker 3: and so it was it out as verge and he
Speaker 3: was giggling around the whole thing holding the verge up,
Speaker 3: took a picture of himself with the coffee with the
Speaker 3: little logo with a VEG written on it, you know,
Speaker 3: much like you tried to do at.
Speaker 4: The Heineken factory six.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he got away with it with the veradge,
Speaker 3: and I was thinking, well, if he can do that,
Speaker 3: if he can, if he can, he's not even hiding
Speaker 3: play on his social media and his name. He fires
Speaker 3: out a picture of him with the coffee that he's
Speaker 3: ordered with the chor writing on it VEG. Yeah, so
Speaker 3: you can.
Speaker 4: No one cares. No, you just keep going and plus
Speaker 4: people no, you know, like the boomers, they were young,
Speaker 4: and well, it's different.
Speaker 3: How you talk to your friends at the pub is different,
Speaker 3: how you talk to your grandma.
Speaker 4: That's exactly it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: People ask me that sometimes about being on radio, and
Speaker 1: they so, how do you stop yourself from swearing?
Speaker 4: Because I swear a lot?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's the same thing. It's like you just
Speaker 1: you wouldn't swear in front of your grandparents. No, you
Speaker 1: certainly wouldn't swear at your grandparents. So you know, everyone
Speaker 1: has that ability to switch that thing off. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: sometimes it abandons you. And that's happened to me.
Speaker 3: If you times on my broadcast and you're just you're
Speaker 3: so confused, I think that that often happens on a
Speaker 3: horrific thing over.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, yes, yeah, where your where?
Speaker 3: Your brain's not working, you don't really know where you are,
Speaker 3: and then you suddenly will drop the C word on
Speaker 3: a national broadcast.
Speaker 4: What did you do something about fucking spuds or something?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I call it the Irish spud fuckers.
Speaker 4: But they are my people.
Speaker 1: So oh no, I dropped on on one of the commentaries,
Speaker 1: which I've since found out is actually kosher because we've
Speaker 1: got the adult button on.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it was exactly the situation you were describing.
Speaker 1: Deathly hungover, had to come in and commentate a Warriors game,
Speaker 1: afternoon game, and I was like, here comes Bunce, fall
Speaker 1: into the fucking.
Speaker 3: And that's an unnecessary swear with that's you think fucking
Speaker 3: is It was so lazy.
Speaker 4: It's just so hungover a piece of shit of me, mate,
Speaker 4: because you could just do that with everyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he comes fucking and fucking Damien McKenzie par and
Speaker 3: Aara fucking Damien McKenzie.
Speaker 4: Yeah, fucking boots it hope it was.
Speaker 3: That wouldn't be bad. Are we sure we're doing it right?
Speaker 3: Maybe we should be doing that? That is a good point.
Speaker 1: When can that's a fucking dry We need to sit
Speaker 1: down with Sky next year before super ugly and right
Speaker 1: where are we at?
Speaker 3: Because the people that here that we swear already hate us.
Speaker 3: The people that would hear that we're swearing, yeah, they've
Speaker 3: already changed channels.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 1: Wow, I be surprised how many of them hang around excellently. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but they want to change channels.
Speaker 3: That would certainly get them to change channels. Yeah, it
Speaker 3: would help. It would help motivate them to go where
Speaker 3: they need to be.
Speaker 1: And I would love for someone to accidentally stumble upon
Speaker 1: us and think that we were Tony Johnson or Nisbo
Speaker 1: and then we're like.
Speaker 4: Oh, he's got a fucking try, he's fucking mister, did
Speaker 4: you mercy Damian mckinn on the weekend.
Speaker 1: But yeah, So what's been the biggest difference upstairs that
Speaker 1: newstalks be?
Speaker 3: What a long long long breaks?
Speaker 1: Oh yes, so like long talking yeah, and.
Speaker 3: Being accused of being woke, which is something I've never
Speaker 3: really been acqued of before.
Speaker 4: I've always been I've always been. I smoked meth and
Speaker 4: I'm okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So it's interesting to be woke now, it's all
Speaker 3: I think. I think there's a certain person that just
Speaker 3: accuses anyone that isn't actively killing someone with a knife
Speaker 3: of being woke.
Speaker 1: If you're not actively racist or sexist, then you are woke.
Speaker 4: You haven't been racist in the last sentence, then then
Speaker 4: you're in trouble.
Speaker 3: It's working has gone mad. Yeah, but long breaks and
Speaker 3: it's fun though.
Speaker 4: It's good.
Speaker 1: I'll like it up there. It's good to be able
Speaker 1: to talk about different stuff. Not that hidark you would
Speaker 1: even stopped you, but just people.
Speaker 3: I mean, we had a huge chat about linen and
Speaker 3: bed wear on the show yesterday, on the menton Tyler
Speaker 3: Afternoons on New Storb and sleepwear, sleepwear, and I couldn't
Speaker 3: help but go to soiling them and as as we're
Speaker 3: as sheets trying to I haven't quite got the hood
Speaker 3: account me, so I was like, wow, you wouldn't want
Speaker 3: them after what me and the missis did last night?
Speaker 4: You know that. Yeah, But apart from that.
Speaker 3: People are quite well, because if you talked about that
Speaker 3: bid weir for as long as we did on hodech pep.
Speaker 4: Be like move on, fuck off.
Speaker 1: It's funny say that Jerry was talking about bids this
Speaker 1: morning as well. So this is the people telling me
Speaker 1: to yeah quite quickly. It's the a sec hive mind
Speaker 1: between all of us. We've got one brain, yeah, and
Speaker 1: each of us gets a turn to use it.
Speaker 3: I know, sometimes I think I'm speaking when you're speaking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's monologue. Sometimes Gelane is speaking while I'm speaking.
Speaker 1: He will why don't even talk over you, but too
Speaker 1: he will mouth what you're saying is you're saying it.
Speaker 4: That can be quite off putting.
Speaker 1: I wanted to run a what I think is quite
Speaker 1: a zbe style topic passed you this morning as well.
Speaker 1: Australia have waived diplomatic community for a man used of
Speaker 1: an early morning assault in the Wellington CBD.
Speaker 4: Have you seen the video emer.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know if you're allowed to say this,
Speaker 3: but he comes across as the biggest a hole about.
Speaker 1: So he he First of all, he's in a fronkr
Speaker 1: at three am after an All Blacks game against the Wallabies.
Speaker 1: He is the partner of an Australian politician.
Speaker 4: Right, she's just scratching a head game, dude. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And in the video he is yelling I have diplomatic immunity,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: Is that worse than do you know who I am? Yes?
Speaker 3: Because I saw once saw a quite a famous New
Speaker 3: Zealander and he was trying to get into the backstage
Speaker 3: at Laneway and he said to the scurity guards you
Speaker 3: know who I am? And he goes, yes, I do.
Speaker 3: And that's not going to fucking help you. In fact,
Speaker 3: I'm less likely to let you in. Fuck off.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, I can't imagine. Yeah, but can you
Speaker 4: mention even pulling it?
Speaker 1: Noll? Who would you have to think you were? Who
Speaker 1: has the card to the city? Yeah, well I've never
Speaker 1: seen Leehart say that, but he has that. I've never
Speaker 1: seen him pay for a ticket to anything of this,
Speaker 1: because he just walks up to the front door and people.
Speaker 4: Like heart and then they let him in.
Speaker 3: I was trying to get into the Emerson's bar and
Speaker 3: Dunedin with you were there with me, Yeah, with you.
Speaker 4: This is right?
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I tried to pull the do you know
Speaker 3: who he is? About Karen Reid and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 3: he can come in, but he wouldn't go. And he's
Speaker 3: such a good guy. He wouldn't go in fire regulations
Speaker 3: and this he took us about five of us plus
Speaker 3: some hangers on that were like that would just attached
Speaker 3: us like a like a attached the trailer to us,
Speaker 3: like one hundred meters before. He was such a good guy,
Speaker 3: as like off, everyone can't get. It was absolutely freezing
Speaker 3: and pissing down in a massive queue out of the door. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and Rita was just like, well when everyone can get
Speaker 3: and I'm going.
Speaker 1: The poor bouncer was like, I can't. My boss can't
Speaker 1: find out tomorrow that I didn't leave here and read
Speaker 1: and to the pub. But then it was like once
Speaker 1: he had done that, it was like drafting sheep. And
Speaker 1: as soon as he'd shifted the gate that way, our
Speaker 1: whole mob tried to get in. The we did eventually.
Speaker 1: It was while out there five of us, three randoms.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I text the boss uh Emercens about it
Speaker 3: as well.
Speaker 1: I mean we wouldn't export ultra. Yes, that's right, the
Speaker 1: export ultra. Yeah, what are we talking about? Crazy? We
Speaker 1: were talking about the diplomatic community guy trying to get
Speaker 1: in there also yelled a pretty hearty homophobic slur before
Speaker 1: loudly claiming he has diplomatic community in the Australian government.
Speaker 3: Was like, do you do you because it turns out
Speaker 3: we can wave that very easily, Like we're not going
Speaker 3: to battle for you. You know, we're dumping so many
Speaker 3: five O ones on these guys. Yeah, we're going to
Speaker 3: pick our fo Yeah we don't. We don't want to.
Speaker 3: We want to just keep dumping our five O ones.
Speaker 3: We're not going to battle with you, No, we're not.
Speaker 3: We're not gonna We're not going to die on the
Speaker 3: hell of some drunk guy at three am yelling homophobicsas
Speaker 3: because that's not what diplomatic immunity was invented for us.
Speaker 1: Trying to figure out what I guess it's to stop
Speaker 1: like two countries. So say we had a tense negotiation
Speaker 1: with Australian, we didn't get along with each other, we
Speaker 1: sent one of our politicians over there and they bloody
Speaker 1: kidnap him.
Speaker 3: Yeah it's it's that kind of thing, yeah, or they
Speaker 3: accused him of And also it's like Julian Assange being
Speaker 3: at the Ecuador and Embassy embassy for so long because
Speaker 3: the laws of Ecuador rule on the floor of this
Speaker 3: of the embassy, and.
Speaker 1: It's to stop international tensions, right, yeah, to stop a war, yeah,
Speaker 1: from us accusing one of your politicians of doing something
Speaker 1: they didn't.
Speaker 3: I read this really annoying thing where none of the
Speaker 3: U n or the diplomatic diplomats and New York pay
Speaker 3: their parking tickets.
Speaker 4: And it's a huge issue.
Speaker 3: And they don't do it in London either, and they
Speaker 3: were listening how many like the American embassy, ohs millions
Speaker 3: and millions and millions of dollars London parking fines because
Speaker 3: they just park anywhere beause they've got diplomatic community. They're
Speaker 3: not going to pay it, and they do it, and
Speaker 3: vice versa.
Speaker 4: In New York. The only country in the world that's
Speaker 4: paying its parking fines is New Zealand. We're at the.
Speaker 3: Front of the class, putting a hand up and go
Speaker 3: we'll pay those yeah. And it's like no one cares.
Speaker 3: You know, you can't run up enough parking things, but
Speaker 3: we have to be the best in class, up the front,
Speaker 3: left cross we pay our parking fines. It's like, nah,
Speaker 3: let them burn.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But well, I also feel like that's a that's a
Speaker 1: real stretch of the use of diplomatic communities.
Speaker 4: Like, wow, that's not what we meant.
Speaker 1: What do it mean you can park in a handicapped
Speaker 1: spot everywhear go public urination.
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So I love that he's I love that he yelled
Speaker 1: I have diplomatic community. I love that they then waved it.
Speaker 1: So now he's going to face court. It'll be a
Speaker 1: slap on the rest, but it's it's more humiliation that
Speaker 1: it's huge and terrible for us part. All right, let's
Speaker 1: take a quick break. We'll come back and talk about
Speaker 1: of sport. Just before we talk a little bit of
Speaker 1: sport here if you haven't heard already in one of
Speaker 1: the great alternative commentary collective owned goals of all time,
Speaker 1: we're selling ute that ninety eight Ford falcon ute.
Speaker 3: It's such a bummer. I know what's beautiful. It was
Speaker 3: my idea as well. That's Auto Trader were like, we
Speaker 3: need to tell I mean, you're the main driver, right, go,
Speaker 3: I know this is what I mean.
Speaker 4: Auto Trader came to us, how dumb are you?
Speaker 1: We need to help Kiwis because that show how dumb
Speaker 1: are you or how dedicated to the cause.
Speaker 4: Are you well this is I think it shows where
Speaker 4: my brain's at. Yeah.
Speaker 3: On brand first, I'm going to look at it as dumb,
Speaker 3: but other people could look at it as dedicated, selfless, selfless, well,
Speaker 3: the most reckless part of it. And just to get
Speaker 3: it out of the way, we're selling it on Auto Trader.
Speaker 3: It'll be on it'll be up for auction in November,
Speaker 3: and I'm probably I've probably put myself in the situation
Speaker 3: where I'm going to have to buy it back because
Speaker 3: I can't part with it, particularly now that it's been
Speaker 3: done up. It's been painted, it's been it's the seat's
Speaker 3: been done, the interior has all been redone.
Speaker 4: The tray still smells like Sultan vinegar. I don't know why,
Speaker 4: but it does.
Speaker 3: If you get into a bidding war with Mini Stewart,
Speaker 3: do the right thing and let him have it.
Speaker 4: Pull out because I'll eat because he deserves it. I'll
Speaker 4: drive us both into financial ruin in order to get this.
Speaker 1: He's not going to stop that Sporting News that worries
Speaker 1: me this morning, I'm sure it worries you as well.
Speaker 1: Kane Williamson is under an injury cloud, some sort of
Speaker 1: groin slash hamstring situation.
Speaker 4: Other black Caps fucked without Kane Williamson. Are they fucked
Speaker 4: with Kane Williamson in India? You know?
Speaker 3: I mean so it's a good point. We already thought
Speaker 3: they were fucked with him. Now now there's all kinds
Speaker 3: of trouble. And that's what I've got. Solaces. Don't care
Speaker 3: what the black Caps do overseas. Like when we won
Speaker 3: the World Test Championship, that was it. I've got fulled
Speaker 3: my boots on New Zealand overseas and yet it's a
Speaker 3: World Cup. I don't care and there's no chance we
Speaker 3: get to the World Test Championship. And I think most
Speaker 3: countries like that. India doesn't care if they come down
Speaker 3: here and get smashed by US. Cricket doesn't travel, It
Speaker 3: does not travel. Nah, it's interesting. Teams have to travel
Speaker 3: to give some entertainment and for cricket to exist. Yes,
Speaker 3: but it's a home series that is all you care about,
Speaker 3: and you get served up as fodder for the home team.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a large part of it, as the time
Speaker 1: zone thing, because I think that's why no one really
Speaker 1: cared when South Africa left Super Rugby, because I don't
Speaker 1: I'm lootting up at three am to watch.
Speaker 4: They were just some names we read out.
Speaker 1: I don't know where any of those teams were from,
Speaker 1: where the storm was from. I think it's Cape Town.
Speaker 1: I think I don't know that. Yeah, we're never kid bulls. Yeah, Pretoria,
Speaker 1: but I could not if you gave me a map
Speaker 1: of out South Africa, I could not pour into Pretoria.
Speaker 4: So it's the same thing. You're right.
Speaker 1: And also just how rigged it is in India. And
Speaker 1: I don't mean the gameplay, I mean the conditions, the setup.
Speaker 1: There'll be people chanting and parading outside our hotel all night,
Speaker 1: probably probably be a fire drill or two, yeah, in
Speaker 1: the in the hotel.
Speaker 4: So that's a good point.
Speaker 3: So let's get Cain Williamson healthy for playing back here
Speaker 3: in New Zealand.
Speaker 4: What I am worried more importantly for his lucrative.
Speaker 1: What I am worried about is this is how every
Speaker 1: athlete's career ends. Yes, it's an a c l, then
Speaker 1: it's a shoulder or an elbow, then it's a groin,
Speaker 1: then it's a hamstring in the end, they just they just.
Speaker 3: Can't be bothered because it's because they're spending so much
Speaker 3: time rehabilitating and then they just go, you know what,
Speaker 3: got a bit of money in the bank.
Speaker 1: And it's mileage for Kane because famously he takes more
Speaker 1: throwdowns than anyone. It's all he does. It's how he
Speaker 1: became so good. As he spends more time in the nets,
Speaker 1: he's faced more balls than anyone.
Speaker 4: And at a certain.
Speaker 1: Point does that catch out to I don't want to
Speaker 1: face many I don't want to Yeah, we've only got
Speaker 1: so many balls.
Speaker 3: It's like artbeats. I mean, everyone's talking about this at
Speaker 3: the moment. But we've been lucky enough to live through
Speaker 3: an absolute golden period of New Zealand cricket. Unprecedented, unlikely
Speaker 3: crickets a competitive sport, a lot of people play around
Speaker 3: the world, a lot of big countries, a lot of
Speaker 3: big money, and we have been right up there with
Speaker 3: the best for a very long time. We had an
Speaker 3: incredible group of players that came together at the same
Speaker 3: time from about twenty fourteen and till recently, and we
Speaker 3: might just have to accept that that was a fantastic time.
Speaker 4: We were lucky to have it.
Speaker 3: But now we go back into the black Cap supporter
Speaker 3: support group phase where we love the victories, but we
Speaker 3: don't expect them.
Speaker 1: Does it concern you, as a member of the Alternative
Speaker 1: Commentary collective if we are going into a dark patch
Speaker 1: of New Zealand cricket.
Speaker 3: I think the fortunes of the ACC have been heavily
Speaker 3: tied to the fortunes of the Black Caps. I don't
Speaker 3: know if the a SEC would be where it is
Speaker 3: now if yeah, if we hadn't fired off. In fact,
Speaker 3: someone wanted that that very thing, like on on my substack.
Speaker 3: They mine and Dylan substack the other day they were like,
Speaker 3: do the a CEC ever, consider that if they hadn't
Speaker 3: started and timed it exactly with the black Caps becoming huge,
Speaker 3: becoming very successful right through that twenty fifteen Cricket World
Speaker 3: Cup and even the twenty fourteen that the series before that, would.
Speaker 4: We have been as big? And the answers, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: Will we kid ourselves and say that it was nothing
Speaker 1: to do with that and more to do with our
Speaker 1: own talent?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, And will that eventually be the undoing of
Speaker 4: the a SEC? Probably probably? Yeah, all things, all things been.
Speaker 3: A golden It's been a golden period for the ACC
Speaker 3: as well, it has, and all things passed. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: you know, Glane's suffering a lot of injuries.
Speaker 4: It's hit a hole in his head. Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Literally, so Glane as our captain, Yeah, he is, he is.
Speaker 1: And like I was saying, most professional athletes don't get
Speaker 1: to decide when they retire. It gets decided for them.
Speaker 1: How many more can he withstand? He did his hamstrung.
Speaker 1: He did his hamstring just last winter. Yeah, that's ready,
Speaker 1: blewis Hammi. Yeah, he's the injuries. When Chelana piling up,
Speaker 1: he's in achilles away from going under. I reckon, I've
Speaker 1: got a hypothetical scenario that I wanted to run past you.
Speaker 1: We debated this yesterday in the office quite heartily. It
Speaker 1: is one of these sort of would you rather hypothetical
Speaker 1: type scenarios. Would you race a stranger for one hundred
Speaker 1: million dollars if you win and if you lose, you
Speaker 1: lose your legs. So this is a random stranger. The
Speaker 1: entire population of the Earth is eligible to race you, okay,
Speaker 1: and you don't you get to see the person before
Speaker 1: you race, No, you get to see you will be
Speaker 1: teleported both of you to the start of one hundred
Speaker 1: meter sprint. It's one hundred meter race.
Speaker 3: And it's completely the other person's completely random.
Speaker 1: Other person's completely render. It could be a baby, It
Speaker 1: could be a baby, it could be how stoked would
Speaker 1: you be if it's a baby. If it's a baby
Speaker 1: or a ninety year old person, it could be someone
Speaker 1: on their deathbed, that's right.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, the population we've got population collapse globally at the moment.
Speaker 3: So so there's more old people, there's more old peoples,
Speaker 3: but there's there's also more people that are middle aged.
Speaker 3: So yeah, ah, so I guess do you think you're
Speaker 3: faster than seventy five percent of the people on the planet.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're calling baby yeah, babies old people,
Speaker 1: I reckon, I've got them covered. Any kid from like
Speaker 1: honestly like eight, yeah, how quicks an eight year old?
Speaker 4: You had kids?
Speaker 1: At what point did your kid first did you realize
Speaker 1: they were faster than you?
Speaker 4: One of them quite quickly. The other one is still
Speaker 4: not bends on the kids.
Speaker 3: If Charlie was out, there would be in Charlie at
Speaker 3: ten trouble.
Speaker 1: You're in all sorts. Yeah, so yeah, one hundred million,
Speaker 1: that's a life changing amount of money. Yeah, losing your.
Speaker 3: Leagues is also, and there's always a chance that were
Speaker 3: saying by that's right, you pop in and it's Noah Lyles,
Speaker 3: you know, it's Rico Yanni and the other lane, or interestingly,
Speaker 3: it'd be something that you're trying to work out with
Speaker 3: Carl Lewis or something, and you're like, well, he's sixty,
Speaker 3: but he was the fastest person in the world at
Speaker 3: one point.
Speaker 4: What kind of shape is in? What kind of shape
Speaker 4: has he showed up for the start line?
Speaker 5: Here? Here?
Speaker 3: You see the name just beforehand, and then you find
Speaker 3: out he's massively blown out?
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh thank god. Yeah, so it does the person
Speaker 1: right now, you know, because it could be Joe Biden.
Speaker 4: That pops in next there.
Speaker 1: You know, I guess what the question is is, do
Speaker 1: you think you're faster than the average person? Yeah, as basically,
Speaker 1: and I am fairly certain I'm not.
Speaker 4: But the risk reward here one hundred million dollars is
Speaker 4: a line.
Speaker 3: And you can have a decent life with no legs.
Speaker 3: These days you get some blades and I think that
Speaker 3: a wheelchair.
Speaker 1: The interesting thing for me is, you know, anytime you
Speaker 1: see someone who's missing in appendage, immediately you want to
Speaker 1: ask them what happened parks and of my store, who
Speaker 1: was well, I raced a random person for one hundred
Speaker 1: million dollars.
Speaker 3: Ye, you'd make and yeah, you would make probably at
Speaker 3: least ten million.
Speaker 1: On the talking circuit the book How I Overcame, You're
Speaker 1: kind of shorting the odds on the story and one
Speaker 1: of the most ridiculous situations of all time.
Speaker 4: Because every talk show in the world would want to
Speaker 4: talk to you one hundred percent. I'm on Conan.
Speaker 1: You could have a podcast called Risk REWARDSK Reward where
Speaker 1: you talk to people and I actually don't need my
Speaker 1: legs for my current job.
Speaker 4: I sit down, I'm not using my legs right now.
Speaker 3: They're not doing anything, so you're actually anything.
Speaker 4: There are a hindrance.
Speaker 1: More people would listen to this podcast if they knew
Speaker 1: I didn't have legs. I've always said, my legs a
Speaker 1: whole out. You've already given up the you've already given
Speaker 1: up the ute. Are you willing up to want to
Speaker 1: give up your legs?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 3: Greg Carryama gave up a kidney, didn't he? He did
Speaker 3: give up a kidney. Did you get it back when
Speaker 3: I suppose it failed?
Speaker 4: Didn't it? That's sort of it. Yeah, sort of way. Yeah, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 4: let's not dim the quality of it. Oh that's another angle. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Maybe if we had to give them a.
Speaker 1: Bit of kidney anyway, I would do it one hundred
Speaker 1: million year a hundred million.
Speaker 4: Lose my legs. I don't use them anyway, Yeah, bargat
Speaker 4: all right, were oxygen thieves my legs?
Speaker 1: Yeah, although some say the best part of my body anyway.
Speaker 4: You have, you have legs ago all the way out.
Speaker 1: It goes, it goes to ship from the waist up.
Speaker 3: But actually for me, because I've got long torso short
Speaker 3: legs syndrome, so I could just argue forever I had
Speaker 3: a great pair of legs.
Speaker 4: You were six foot five before your lost those legs.
Speaker 1: I remember if I had probab leggs, I'd be a
Speaker 1: decent night. All right, let's take one more quick break
Speaker 1: and we'll come back with youles please.
Speaker 2: Yours please, brought to you by Leader.
Speaker 1: Home, just the two of them to get through this morning.
Speaker 1: Matt hey send the first one goes like this, yours, please.
Speaker 5: Get a fellas. Yeah, My Hike cramfather worked in a
Speaker 5: pub at the time of the six o'clocks. Well, and
Speaker 5: he said that the copper would come around to make
Speaker 5: sure everyone was complying, and everyone would just run into
Speaker 5: the back of the pub and then he would, you know,
Speaker 5: pour a pint for the copper who would you know,
Speaker 5: as a as a thank you for looking the other way,
Speaker 5: you know, because everyone's pints were half finished and Darry's
Speaker 5: were still burning the on the bar, and he would
Speaker 5: have a pint and then just suck off. So yeah,
Speaker 5: great new Zelander.
Speaker 3: There's always a way, isn't there. There's always workarounds, Oh,
Speaker 3: for sure. You know, there's always a gray area.
Speaker 1: Well in the town I grew up in the main pub,
Speaker 1: the Womany Hotel, was directly across the road from the
Speaker 1: police station, so the cops are always in there. And
Speaker 1: but because it's a country pub, you know, you know
Speaker 1: the people that work behind the bar, so when you're fifteen, sixteen, seventeen,
Speaker 1: if they know no one's looking dustling the odd pint. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they would just be like, all right, I'd go
Speaker 1: in and they'd be like are you sitting with adults?
Speaker 4: But yeah, okay, I'll give you a beer.
Speaker 1: But if one of the cops come and you put
Speaker 1: that beer in front of one of the adults, and
Speaker 1: that was basically that was the role allegedly how it worked.
Speaker 4: It works.
Speaker 3: So back in that six o'clock swell day, there were
Speaker 3: some pups that just had a urinal across the front
Speaker 3: of the bar.
Speaker 4: I've seen photos of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, disgusting, so that you didn't have to leave because
Speaker 3: you had one hour of drink. So the last thing
Speaker 3: you want to do is spend any of the time
Speaker 3: in the bathroom. So you've just got a bunch of
Speaker 3: guys classy nation. You got a bunch of guys just
Speaker 3: with the cocks out drinking.
Speaker 1: So who would have been the first one to suggest that.
Speaker 1: They would have gone into their bar and be like, look, mate,
Speaker 1: if you want to shut at six, I can't be
Speaker 1: in here paying you basically just to piss. Yeah, can
Speaker 1: you please move the urinal to the bar? Yeah, And
Speaker 1: the guy would have had to go into the local plumber. Actually,
Speaker 1: the local plumber probably suggested it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I've gone off a few Yeah, I have
Speaker 4: an idea. I've got a solution.
Speaker 3: I mean, when we say a urinal, most of the
Speaker 3: time would have been some corrugated iron, a curved corrugated
Speaker 3: iron that ran out to a bit of a bit
Speaker 3: of a down pipe.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, imagine the smell. I mean, bars smell
Speaker 1: better enough as it is. How hard do you need
Speaker 1: to be passing up to be like I can't I
Speaker 1: can't leave the seat for a minute to urinate, And so.
Speaker 3: How much do you need to beer? And we've still
Speaker 3: got that mentality to this day one hundred percent. We
Speaker 3: were saying yesterday, but we always think alcohol is going
Speaker 3: to be taken off us. We always we always feel
Speaker 3: like it's a famine mindset. Yeah, what if there's no
Speaker 3: I don't know where my next beer is coming from. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so we're only five messed beers away from narchy.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 1: And it's funny because that's what I reckon brought an
Speaker 1: into all the lockdowns, you know, where people are like
Speaker 1: I even thought this. I'm not an anti vexer, but
Speaker 1: I always thought, like, what would it take for me
Speaker 1: to just mindlessly comply with something the government?
Speaker 4: Tom turns out and shutting the pubs for a month.
Speaker 1: Whatever, I don't care, micro chip me put it all
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 4: I want to go back to the part. That's right. Yeah,
Speaker 4: they held the pubs over.
Speaker 1: Usted right up until then, I was just like I'll
Speaker 1: never comply with the government just because they told me too.
Speaker 1: And then they were like, you can't go to the pub.
Speaker 1: Was like, damn me, everything on a whole lot. I'm
Speaker 1: getting back into the pub. Yeah, I agree. I think
Speaker 1: that all came from the the six o'clock Swell, which yesterday,
Speaker 1: in nineteen sixty seven was abolished.
Speaker 4: One more caller here yours please?
Speaker 6: Yeah, good old fellas. How good's old Neil fucking Barns.
Speaker 6: What a bloody champion? Get him in Neil backs you
Speaker 6: fuck Razor off what Barnes you at the helm. But
Speaker 6: absolutely I reckon boards are just really thick and heavy
Speaker 6: into the bears. It's all it takes, while the sounds
Speaker 6: of it don't do anything. Barnsi was in charge, and
Speaker 6: if he was doing a voicy thing, he like this.
Speaker 6: He'd signed off by saying, fuck Corraca.
Speaker 4: We're talking the Ricky the equivalent of Rocky from Trailer
Speaker 4: Parks of New Zealand.
Speaker 5: There.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was that was good. Guys, had a great
Speaker 4: turn of phrase. Yeah he did.
Speaker 1: How good to fucking Neil Bloody barnesby Barnsy, he hit
Speaker 1: him on the pod yesterday, had him on the pod, Yeah, Tuesday,
Speaker 1: I think, and he he was saying, God bless him.
Speaker 1: He's an old school coach.
Speaker 4: He was.
Speaker 1: He talked a lot about he's aware of the role
Speaker 1: in PC plays in the country and these guys' careers
Speaker 1: and what it means to win the shield, and so
Speaker 1: he let them hit the purse. He's like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: won the shield, you should hit the purse. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: we've got a fucking because when we were off here
Speaker 1: he said, I've only got about five minutes we're going
Speaker 1: into the review session. I said, it must be a
Speaker 1: bit pretty easy review session. You've just won the shield.
Speaker 1: He goes, you, reckon, I've got a quarter final on
Speaker 1: the MPC this weekend. Half my team are fucking hung
Speaker 1: to bits and now I'm going to try and refocus them.
Speaker 4: I was like, that's a good point. Yeah, well, I
Speaker 4: think it's part of it.
Speaker 3: It's there's a lot of aspects to a professional sports team,
Speaker 3: and one thing you had on one of the the
Speaker 3: hurdles is that it hungover team if they won the
Speaker 3: Renfully Shield, and if they won the Renfrely Shield, that's
Speaker 3: just you've got it. It's like a storm week. All
Speaker 3: these things you've got Affector into well.
Speaker 1: That we were talking about that before, like how how
Speaker 1: unfair one unfair, but how gutted you'd bear for your
Speaker 1: Tasman because they had two shield contests in a storm week,
Speaker 1: so they had I think they won it in a
Speaker 1: storm week and then they lost it again. Yeah and
Speaker 1: a storm week, so yeah, I suppose it swings it roundabouts.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you've had it, so you had the joy
Speaker 3: of it, So someone else does, I mean eventually gonna
Speaker 3: lose it. Yeah, so it's fantastic you had it and
Speaker 3: everyone was stoked. Yeah, and that's great, and then you
Speaker 3: lost it and you've got a couple of excuses.
Speaker 1: If South Canterbury when Heartland again, Barnsey has agreed to
Speaker 1: bring the Shield challenge to halfway if we.
Speaker 4: Fill as fridge full of export ultras.
Speaker 1: And look, if I can broke a deal to get
Speaker 1: South Callery to compete for the shield, then you know
Speaker 1: more than happy to particularly if it's best sponsors that's
Speaker 1: paying for it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, not many.
Speaker 3: You're not actually donating match that's actually going to shoehorn
Speaker 3: yourself into a Yah.
Speaker 1: It's actually got nothing to do with me. But I
Speaker 1: will claim all of the glory for it. All right,
Speaker 1: let'sknock listening on the hit mate. Thank you very much
Speaker 1: for joining us and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 4: Brilliant.
Speaker 2: All right, Dan, Okay, you've been listening to The ACC's
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