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Speaker 1: The Hits Drive with May and PJ thanks to chimis

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Speaker 1: Wee House the Real House of Fragrances. Hello everybody, welcome

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Speaker 1: to the podcast.

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Speaker 2: I've got to ask yes after last night's podcast, Yes,

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Speaker 2: what did your husband think? Ah?

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Speaker 3: What do you think? He thought?

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Speaker 1: It was absolutely pumped. It was like his ego is

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Speaker 1: just inflated. When I got home, he was like pouring

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Speaker 1: like a lion. He was like, where did he get

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Speaker 1: this information from? With the biggest grin on his face was.

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Speaker 2: He was he all surprised that I had come to

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Speaker 2: the table with this information.

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Speaker 3: I mean, he kind of.

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Speaker 1: Wanted to know some details. I was like, I was

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Speaker 1: a rugby by from the White and other like nuf said.

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Speaker 1: I was like, look, details were sketchy, a few drinks

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Speaker 1: have been consumed. And then yeah, he was just purring

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Speaker 1: from air to air.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I couldn't. I could not tell you the name

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Speaker 2: of the guy. That's not like, yeah, I meet a

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Speaker 2: lot of people that night.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, fair enough.

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Speaker 2: And he wasn't.

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Speaker 3: And that guy just like so he knew we worked together.

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Speaker 2: He knew we worked together, and he was like he

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, you do the radio show with PJA.

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Speaker 2: And I was like yeah, and he goes, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: used to play rugby with her husband in the whited

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Speaker 2: upper and I was like, oh for a short amount

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Speaker 2: of time. So I don't think they knew each other

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Speaker 2: like super super well, but enough time. It's only it's

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Speaker 2: clearly spent enough time in the changing rooms with them.

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Speaker 3: Deeply. The information did not bother him.

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Speaker 2: It's just like, didn't bother him. I didn't bother him.

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Speaker 2: I'd love for that to be like my idea, my

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Speaker 2: idea defying feature is it not please you? No, you're not.

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Speaker 3: I was just going to come up with the neck time.

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Speaker 2: Anyway.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, you're off, You've got a busy week. Socially, we're

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Speaker 1: you off to tonight.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Some friends will like, oh, there's a drag bingo

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Speaker 2: event down in like the viaduct Auckland.

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Speaker 3: So does that mean it's themed drag. There'll be drag there.

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Speaker 2: It's a it's it's bingo. Yeah, but with a drag queen.

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Speaker 3: Doing the bingo that'd be super yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean otherwise other than that, it's literally just bingo,

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Speaker 2: big guy. Yeah, but fun. But it's the weird thing

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Speaker 2: is it's at a it's an indoor mini golf place

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Speaker 2: in the Viaducttland. So I don't know. That's what I'm wondering,

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Speaker 2: because otherwise, why.

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Speaker 3: This many golf plays right though?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? But but why there specifically if you're not there

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Speaker 2: to play mini golf and you're there to play bingo.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. We'll see. I'll report back tomorrow.

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Speaker 3: Is it a big night?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: No, we're into the silly season now though.

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Speaker 2: Like I know, think I know.

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Speaker 1: Officially the calendar has officially told us that the silly

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Speaker 1: season's underway.

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Speaker 2: Oh trust me, I know. But I also have something

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Speaker 2: on Thursday night, something on Friday night, and a hen

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Speaker 2: still on Saturday.

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Speaker 1: So how do you how do you not run out

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Speaker 1: of petrol?

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Speaker 2: I'm going to run out of petrol?

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Speaker 3: Well, don't, because we are about to get into the

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Speaker 3: real fun stuff. You're gonna have to pace yourself.

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Speaker 2: Okay, marathon not a sprint.

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Speaker 1: Marathon, ye is marathon not a sprint. It's gonna go

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Speaker 1: in one ear and out the other.

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Speaker 2: You all come, you've got a busy week you're coming

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Speaker 2: out to.

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Speaker 3: I'm going I'm going to coup play.

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Speaker 1: Then I've got a little photo shoot on Saturday morning

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Speaker 1: and possibly a massage.

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Speaker 3: But maybe not.

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Speaker 2: Where are you gonna go for a massage?

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Speaker 1: Somewhere in Auckland. It is not confirmed yet. It's like

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Speaker 1: a pregnancy massage. I've been today, get my body done amazing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't know if it's actually gonna happen.

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Speaker 2: Now, Hey, photo shoot on Saturday. Do you know what?

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Speaker 3: We can't so much?

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Speaker 2: I can't say much about it, but do you know

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Speaker 2: what they're putting you in?

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Speaker 3: You? Not exactly.

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Speaker 1: I do know that there was talk about a flowy

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Speaker 1: dress and I may have replied it sort of just

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Speaker 1: saying if there are some tight of options that could

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Speaker 1: be nice to just because when you're pregnant sometimes it

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Speaker 1: can be nice to have a bit of different nush out.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait to see the photos. I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: Pregnancy photos like they just go one of two ways.

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Speaker 1: They can be really beautiful.

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Speaker 3: Awkward.

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Speaker 2: I hope I've got you like posing on a chaise lounge.

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Speaker 3: Like I did.

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Speaker 1: You saw the other one that I did back in

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Speaker 1: the day with my ex boyfriend and I was posing

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Speaker 1: on this.

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Speaker 3: That's me on Saturday morning.

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Speaker 1: I'll let you know how it goes, at least like

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Speaker 1: I'll see you'll see how it goes.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I know, I will, Oh, I know, I will.

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Speaker 2: Do you get proved? Do you get copy of or

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Speaker 2: like photo approval or anything like that?

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Speaker 3: I hope No, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: You should you should have negotiated that, I hope.

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Speaker 3: So I don't not finished.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So anyway.

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Speaker 1: That's cold. It'll be fine, It'll be lovely, it'll be joyful.

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Speaker 1: It's good to keep yourself out the air. It's good

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Speaker 1: to get out of your cabin zone.

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Speaker 3: So that's good.

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Speaker 2: And you come up with your mommy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, me and mommy be going on a big road trip.

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be fun.

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Speaker 2: We've just been offered Cold Play tickets. Do it to buy?

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Speaker 2: Doat someone's like dead, got them and can't go.

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Speaker 3: They're incredible.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I feel like I feel like it's going

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Speaker 2: to be one of those concerts where I'm going to

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Speaker 2: see so much footage of it this week. And if

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Speaker 2: I don't get tickets, you all get real.

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Speaker 3: Fomo saying you've seen them live before?

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Speaker 2: No never, Oh, and this is.

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Speaker 3: Just leveling off. That's why will be pretty good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I man, hey, look, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: tell you what to do with your life, so just

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Speaker 1: make your own decision no, and circle back to me tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate your input.

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Speaker 1: I think you should come, not that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: probably see you on the night way away and there

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Speaker 1: was so many people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but still.

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Speaker 1: But it'll be nice to know that we're in the

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Speaker 1: same place, yeah, experiencing the same thing.

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Speaker 3: But I'm it's totally up to you.

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Speaker 2: Okay. Thanks.

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Speaker 1: Coming up on the podcast, we talk about the benefits

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Speaker 1: of having rich mates. A couple of the calls went

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Speaker 1: out the guys but there, but that was still.

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Speaker 2: Fun, so good. We talked about group therapy, was all

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Speaker 2: about like family time at Christmas and the dilemma of

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Speaker 2: knowing whose family to go to for Christmas.

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Speaker 1: It was interesting, and I talked about my mum brain

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Speaker 1: moment that I experienced over the weekends and we wanted

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Speaker 1: to know when you from victim to mumbrain as well.

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Speaker 1: All of that and more coming up on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Have a very merry night, day morning wherever you are,

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Speaker 1: a merry day.

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Speaker 3: Starting to feel fixed?

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's Rocket Rocket.

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Speaker 1: Day.

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Speaker 4: Many to podcast that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw the story puff pop

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Speaker 1: up over the weekend. I saw it at one roof

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Speaker 1: dot Co had some great property stories there.

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Speaker 2: All right, are you trying to get a KPI from

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Speaker 2: the boss or something like that. Oh no, they don't.

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Speaker 3: I mean your husband's in real estate.

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Speaker 2: You know, good stories there.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, I saw that some owners of a property in

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Speaker 1: Bay of Plenty came up with a rather out of

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Speaker 1: the box idea of installing an epic thirty six meter

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Speaker 1: water slide with glow in the dark panels in the

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Speaker 1: backyard as a novel way to fill up the beer space.

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Speaker 2: Unbelievable, you imagine. So this isn't We're not talking like

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Speaker 2: a We're not talking like a crocodile mile slip and

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Speaker 2: slide that we had its kids.

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Speaker 3: Oh this is.

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Speaker 1: Crocodile mile on steroids. This is huge and I love

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Speaker 1: the story behind it. So I think it was during

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Speaker 1: COVID lockdown and they were looking at this section. They

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Speaker 1: were like, right, we need to make this a bit

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Speaker 1: more exciting. And initially I think there was like a

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Speaker 1: trade me slide that this guy was looking at, and

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Speaker 1: then they didn't end up winning it. So we started

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Speaker 1: calling around local water side suppliers and then he ended

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Speaker 1: up contacting an overseas manufacturer and they got thirty six

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Speaker 1: meter long, one meter wide and closed slide which went

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Speaker 1: straight into their pole.

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Speaker 3: It is like, this is epic.

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Speaker 1: If this was your home, this would be an epic

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Speaker 1: addition to the back.

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Speaker 2: I'm just having to look at it now. I think

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Speaker 2: what we'll do is I'll ask producer Seer she can

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Speaker 2: put it. Put a link up on our Instagram page

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Speaker 2: for people to go and look at. It's incredible. The

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Speaker 2: perks if you were their neighbor, or you are their

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Speaker 2: friends and you're heading around for a summer barbecue. The

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Speaker 2: perks of being their friends, because.

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Speaker 1: We all know, like when you're at the hydraslides, it

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Speaker 1: sucks awaiting your lines.

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Speaker 3: You've got no lines.

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Speaker 1: You'd just be straight back up the up, the stairs

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Speaker 1: down up. It would just be amazing. Less One, did

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Speaker 1: you ever have rich mates growing up with perks or

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Speaker 1: produce a serra.

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Speaker 5: You can take slide to full for eight seven for

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Speaker 5: that length?

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Speaker 2: Oh look at you.

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Speaker 3: Did you have rich mates growing up that had perks

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Speaker 3: like this?

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Speaker 1: Or maybe recently have you had some well off friends

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Speaker 1: where you're not friends with them because of this? But

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Speaker 1: it certainly comes with benefit bits.

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Speaker 2: Wow. So Ryan, my husband's in real estate and he

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Speaker 2: sold a house for a very very fancy cup not fancy,

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Speaker 2: but very well off couple. And they are so lovely.

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Speaker 2: And when we were on our honeymoon last year in Europe,

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Speaker 2: we got this. Ryan got a message to sit from

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Speaker 2: the wife to say, are you in Barcelona by any chance?

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Speaker 2: And we said, yeah, Barcelona, yeah, said he said, yes

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Speaker 2: we are. We're just walking around town and they said,

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Speaker 2: we have just parked up out basically super yacht in Barcelona.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to come meet us for lunch? So

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Speaker 2: we got to go on this super yacht, which I've

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Speaker 2: never been on before and never will again. It was

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Speaker 2: believe unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: Was there like a bar on the air and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, got lunch, got wine served to us. It

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Speaker 2: was incredible. We didn't want to leave.

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Speaker 3: Did she get tough?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah. But we've booked it. We've booked We've

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Speaker 2: booked an afternoon tour. Not realizing we were going to

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Speaker 2: meet up with these people very drunk on.

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Speaker 1: Well that okay, that's it blows any perks that I

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Speaker 1: have had from wealthy friends.

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Speaker 2: You were you were the wealthy friend. You were the

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Speaker 2: three story house.

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Speaker 6: My god, it was a humble three story that was

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Speaker 6: That was Friends with God and the podcast The Heads.

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Speaker 1: I want to know the perks of having rich friends.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it was when you were growing up, maybe it's

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Speaker 1: recently you were still like, you're not just friends with them.

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Speaker 3: Because of the perse well that comes home with the

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Speaker 3: friend shirt.

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Speaker 2: I mean, maybe you are.

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Speaker 3: Maybe you are for the most part. Oh wait, under

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Speaker 3: the hurts.

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Speaker 1: We want to know, Chris, who are your rich friends

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Speaker 1: and one of their perks.

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Speaker 7: Well, apart from the obvious. You know, the beach house

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Speaker 7: that's always really nice to have, and you know, driving

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Speaker 7: around that nice car. I was listening to you guys,

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Speaker 7: and I think, just like the book I'm rereading, Rich Dad,

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Speaker 7: Poor Dad, which is a really great mindset for people

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Speaker 7: to have around surrounding yourself with people, you know, with wealth,

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Speaker 7: they just they think differently. You know that Rich Dad

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Speaker 7: believe that the words I can't afford it shut shut

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Speaker 7: down your brain. You know, You've got to think, you know,

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Speaker 7: how can I afford it?

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Speaker 8: You know?

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Speaker 7: That opens up the possibilities, excitements and dreams.

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Speaker 9: You know.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I just sort of thought, Oh, that's just amazing.

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Speaker 7: You're talking about what I'm reading.

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Speaker 2: So are you so sorry?

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Speaker 10: Chris?

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Speaker 2: Are you trying to manifest rich friends right now? Is

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Speaker 2: this what you're doing?

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Speaker 11: You know, like, what are you doing tonight?

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Speaker 12: No?

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Speaker 7: No, not, Look you know you know it's around surrounding

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Speaker 7: yourself with successful people. And look I have got friends

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Speaker 7: that are really wealthy and they're more than their money.

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Speaker 7: But it is kind of the excitement factor. Oh, you

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Speaker 7: know in the glass is always half full. It's a

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Speaker 7: it's a great energy to be around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, great personalities blah blah blah blah blah. But beach

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Speaker 2: house very nice.

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Speaker 1: I have heard that the five people that you spend

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Speaker 1: the nice time within your life to fine you are.

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Speaker 2: Have you heard that many Jesus get hot mess in

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty four? Truly?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, says the five people that you spend the

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Speaker 3: most time with. Lizel is joining us. Oh no, Laesel,

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Speaker 3: Hello Lazel.

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Speaker 1: Hi, Yes, please tell us about the perks of your

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Speaker 1: rich friends.

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Speaker 13: Yes, it was my rich friend's mum. We were friends

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Speaker 13: when I was a teenager and she was the only child.

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Speaker 13: So all the all the holidays that her mother went

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Speaker 13: on or tuk her on are wentworth Oh for everything

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Speaker 13: we went on. I'm from South Africa. We went on

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Speaker 13: amazing safaris we went and set the fast our hotels

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Speaker 13: on the beach. Her mum even enrolled me into learn

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Speaker 13: how to horse draw. Oh my holiday, I should book

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Speaker 13: us into like branches for like a weekle foat to

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Speaker 13: go and ride horses together. Promise you everything was played

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Speaker 13: for Lisa.

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Speaker 2: You're obviously an adult now. But can you still bank

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Speaker 2: on the benefits of friends?

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Speaker 14: I wish I could, but unfortunate to live to England.

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Speaker 13: So oh what was the benefit of having my friends farm?

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Speaker 13: Being very wealthy?

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Speaker 8: Oh?

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Speaker 3: That is brilliant. What is the cutoff age? Do you

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Speaker 3: think you can get away with the free?

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Speaker 2: And you milk it for as long as you can?

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Speaker 2: Listen to this text? In primary school, my friend was

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Speaker 2: related to one of the widkers is in Wicker's Chocolate.

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Speaker 2: Her whole cupboard was filled with peanuts, labs and k bars.

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Speaker 1: Our rich friend ended up having Harry Styles come to

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Speaker 1: her house because he liked the style of some of

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Speaker 1: the properties who dead developed.

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Speaker 3: That's a perk? Can you get in touch? Text four.

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Speaker 10: Maddy and PJ. Mady and Pj the podcast The.

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Speaker 1: Heads And if you have been listening along to Breakfast

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Speaker 1: with John O, Ben and Meghan, you may have heard

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Speaker 1: that they've launched the Mariah Carey Christmas Game and the

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Speaker 1: lead up to Christmas. Basically, the objective of the game

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Speaker 1: is to not listen to the iconic track.

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Speaker 3: That is all I want for Christmas is you.

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Speaker 1: Every time we talk about this, I want to play

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Speaker 1: a little stuffer and still I'm going to get people

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Speaker 1: out of the game.

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Speaker 2: The exact same thing, because my radio brain goes, oh,

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Speaker 2: we should have had a clip of that song so

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Speaker 2: that we can play one.

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Speaker 1: Hundred percent, but no we can't because we banned with

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Speaker 1: the game. So it is literally last man standing in

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Speaker 1: New Zealand. The last person to hear it and get

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Speaker 1: through it to a Chris will.

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Speaker 3: Win the game.

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Speaker 2: It's very hard, very hard for someone like me who

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Speaker 2: loves Christmas and loves Mariah Carey.

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Speaker 1: Would you have usually started putting Mariah on rotation?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, I have a whole Christmas playlist that I play.

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Speaker 2: But it gets me excited. It gets me very excited.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So it's going to be an honesty game. That's hard.

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Speaker 3: This is going to work.

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Speaker 1: We have to be truthful and come to the table

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Speaker 1: as soon as one of us is out of the game.

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Speaker 2: Capeche capeche.

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Speaker 5: I have something to say. Orry not the sad mus

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Speaker 5: producer Sarah here and.

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Speaker 3: I'm out of the game.

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Speaker 2: You're out of the game.

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Speaker 5: I didn't want to be the first to lose on

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Speaker 5: this show.

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Speaker 2: You guys, what happened?

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Speaker 1: Where did you get struck by the All I want

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Speaker 1: for Christmas? As you?

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Speaker 5: Last night, I was doing my big Instagram scroll where

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Speaker 5: I go down my entire feed and I look at

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Speaker 5: every single post that that I haven't seen for the

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Speaker 5: last week. And look, it's a little bit of a

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Speaker 5: oc D thing where I have to kind of go

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Speaker 5: through all the posts and you're sitting there and you're going,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, there's so many.

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Speaker 2: And I had the sound up.

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Speaker 5: Normally, I watched some of the videos on silence yea,

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Speaker 5: let the music go for a second.

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Speaker 2: It's an emotional time. It's an emotional time.

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Speaker 5: So early, but I had the sound up because a

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Speaker 5: few of them, I was like, Oh, there's a little

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Speaker 5: hit stroke video that's quite funny. And then one of

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Speaker 5: my friends who has a side hustle personal business making magnets.

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Speaker 3: Use that song for their real and the.

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Speaker 5: First and the first few notes played and I.

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Speaker 3: Screamed, that's it, because that's all it takes a second.

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Speaker 1: As soon as you hear then I corn it jingle,

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Speaker 1: You're out any Let's be a reminder of people playing

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Speaker 1: along at home.

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Speaker 3: You're not safe on your phone. We can put it

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Speaker 3: on put it on mute.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it'll get you anywhere, anytime, any place.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Are you okay, sirah?

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Speaker 13: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: I just there another game.

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Speaker 3: I can partake it. Do you know what you get

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Speaker 3: to do?

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Speaker 1: It? You get to go home and listen to turn

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Speaker 1: them up loud.

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Speaker 10: Maddy, J Mady and PJ the podcast The Heads.

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Speaker 1: I remember years ago people using the word mom brain

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Speaker 1: and I was like, what what does it even mean?

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Speaker 3: Since becoming a mum, I have used.

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Speaker 1: So much I don't even know if I'm using it correctly,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like I surely you can get away

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Speaker 1: with it when you're pregnant, when you're in the postpart

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Speaker 1: and phase.

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Speaker 3: Some people say it goes for either for ever.

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Speaker 2: Are you telling me my mum with a thirty eight

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Speaker 2: year old can still claim mum brain. Maybe pushing it.

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Speaker 1: But you know you're intrinsically need to another human being

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Speaker 1: and your brain is elsewhere. That's what I'm going to say.

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Speaker 1: I want to know when I eight hundred the hits

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Speaker 1: when have you fallen victim to mumbrain.

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Speaker 3: And what did you do?

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Speaker 1: So over the weekend, I decided to take Charlie, a

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Speaker 1: two year old, to the market of a local town

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Speaker 1: and we went in and then we were like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: there's no coffee here.

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Speaker 3: We're going to pop over to the nearby cafe.

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Speaker 1: Gotta get coffee, Gotta get cafe, Gotta get some cafee,

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Speaker 1: Gotta get that coffee hit. So we walk in and

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Speaker 1: we do our thing, and then we leave the cafe,

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00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 1: get back to the car, and I realized my phone

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Speaker 1: is not on me. So I'm like, oh, natally it's raining,

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Speaker 1: Oh god, to walk back to the cafe and do

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Speaker 1: the walk of shame. So I walk in and I'm like, you, guys,

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Speaker 1: haven't seen a phone. And then they're like, oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: there was a guy in here before who knew you.

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Speaker 3: We gave it to him. Oh he was.

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Speaker 1: There was a guy called Steve who I knew, who's

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Speaker 1: a real estate agent. So I was like, great, that's nice,

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Speaker 1: but how the hell do I contact Steve?

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Speaker 2: Se without a phone to get my phone back.

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Speaker 1: And walks a friend I know, Nicole, So she comes

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Speaker 1: into the shop and I'm like, oh my god, Nicole,

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Speaker 1: you won't believe what's happened.

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Speaker 3: I've lost my phone.

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Speaker 1: Can I maybe contact Steve off my phone and just

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Speaker 1: see if I can meet up with him? So I

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Speaker 1: messaged my number right and I'm calling my number, no

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Speaker 1: pack up. I sent a message saying Steve, it's Polly

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Speaker 1: trying to call you.

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Speaker 3: Where can I meet you?

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Speaker 1: Long story short. We managed to connect and find a

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Speaker 1: meeting point and I got my phone back. The next day,

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Speaker 1: I go through my messages and I see a message

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Speaker 1: which I read as Polly, It's Steve.

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Speaker 3: Trying to call you. Where can I meet you? Are

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Speaker 3: you confused?

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Speaker 2: I'm with you. I see where the story is gone.

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00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:24,880
Speaker 3: I reply, just got the phone. Thanks Steve, you absolute legend.

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Speaker 1: Thanks, and then I follow another message, thank you so much.

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00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,680
Speaker 3: And then I get a message back from my friend Nicole.

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Speaker 3: This is Nicole.

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Speaker 1: But Steve message me last night asking if you got it,

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00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 1: and I said, yeah, oh, sort of.

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00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 3: I read the message. Does is this making sense?

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Speaker 2: You read the message that you had sent to Steve

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Speaker 2: do yourself from the Cole's number.

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Speaker 3: Must have been like, are you losing your marbles?

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00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 2: You?

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00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: I've seen that message off my phone and now you're

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Speaker 1: replying to yourself.

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Speaker 3: Can I blame that on mumbrain?

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00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:12,119
Speaker 2: I think I think you can. Except having known you

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00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,640
Speaker 2: for ten years long before you hit a child, we're

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00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 2: just PJ brain. It's a little bit just PJ brain.

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00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 3: I was genuinely so embarrassed. I was like, actually, think

447
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 3: what is wrong with this person?

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00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 10: Mary and Mary and PJ the podcast?

449
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 3: When did you fall victim to Mumbraine?

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Speaker 1: Because I shall have a lot lately and I don't

451
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,920
Speaker 1: feel like I milk it quite a bit and it's

452
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: hard to distinguish what's PJ brain and what's mumbrain.

453
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 3: But for now, after losing my phone over the weekend

454
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 3: and giving it.

455
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 1: A barkle with the communication on the phone afterwards, I'm

456
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: just going to call it mumbrain.

457
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 2: Call it my brain. Call it I'm giving you permission

458
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,400
Speaker 2: to call it mumbrain. But I'm not giving you permission

459
00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: to use every single thing that you do wrong. You

460
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 2: can't always blame it on my don't.

461
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 3: I get to don't know what happened with you? How

462
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 3: did you fall victim to mam brain?

463
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 14: So I'm the mom of four children and I had

464
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 14: them at opsicol Care and Krash. So one day I

465
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 14: picked up my three boys and was heading home, and

466
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 14: I was probably ten to fifteen k towards my home

467
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 14: and then realized that the one castic was empty.

468
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 11: So I spun around and I said to some boys,

469
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 11: where's your sister? And I realized that I'd headed home

470
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 11: without stopping at Krash to pick up my daughters.

471
00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:55,159
Speaker 2: Donna, I'm gonna look, I'm sure that you're you're not

472
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 2: alone in this situation.

473
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 3: Yourself would never have done it again.

474
00:23:58,720 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 2: Cut yourself some slack.

475
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 14: No, I never did it again, but it was always

476
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 14: a constant reminder that I did a head count from

477
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 14: then on that I had all children before I drove off.

478
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 2: Do you know what all you got to do in

479
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 2: those situations is go, there's some gold for the twenty

480
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 2: first speech? Donna, exactly.

481
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much for your colle It's kind

482
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: of brock undred the hats get a brook.

483
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 3: When did you fall victim to Mombrane.

484
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 15: Well, I was like, this was back seven years ago.

485
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 15: I just had second baby, and I was like, oh yeah,

486
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 15: I'm really down for a coffee right now. So I

487
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 15: put my sugar and my milk in my cup and

488
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 15: realized that the coffee the coffee jar was in, which

489
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 15: I was like, okay, cool, I'll just open up a

490
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 15: new bag coffee, put it in the coffee jar. I

491
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 15: didn't put it in the coffee jar. I tipped the

492
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:52,919
Speaker 15: whole bag of coffee and my coffee cup and sugar

493
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:53,159
Speaker 15: in it.

494
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 3: And get you dying.

495
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 15: Yeah, but I realize I can't even scoop it out

496
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 15: because it's got milk and it.

497
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 16: Yeah, I lost lost.

498
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 15: The whole bag of coffee. Had to cry and yeah, yeah,

499
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 15: do you want to so broke?

500
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 3: Did you take one? Because it was superchild?

501
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,400
Speaker 15: I scooped out quite a bit of it and Chuck

502
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 15: Burys Doum was like, that was the strongest copee ever had.

503
00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,119
Speaker 2: Bet it was? I bet it was.

504
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, When did you fall victim to my brain?

505
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,360
Speaker 17: I had mam Brain's first my first child. I've got two,

506
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 17: but it was the first out thing I ever had.

507
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 17: And I met my mom for lunch and we had

508
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 17: lunch and it was one of those really hot thirty

509
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 17: two thirty three to goat degree christ stretched days and

510
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,359
Speaker 17: came out after lunch, put her brand new baby in

511
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 17: the capsule in the car, put the pram down, which

512
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 17: was a bit of an ordeal when you're a new mum.

513
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,920
Speaker 17: Put it my baby bag in the boat, shut the boat,

514
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 17: and then realized that my keys were in the boat

515
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 17: and my hand with my keys are in my handbag

516
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,560
Speaker 17: which was in the car. And then the boot lots,

517
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 17: oh no, a lot with this brand new teen day

518
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 17: old baby in it.

519
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 12: And I was crying and it was really hot, and

520
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 12: my mom was like, just break the window, you know,

521
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,919
Speaker 12: and I was like no, because glass could go on her.

522
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 12: So my mom stood there with a blanket from her

523
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 12: car like shaving shaving the car, and I got her

524
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 12: car and drove home and got the spare keys.

525
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 8: Oh on around trip.

526
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,160
Speaker 3: So that was my mum brain.

527
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 17: And I've never done it since.

528
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 2: No, you wouldn't.

529
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 3: Oh that I'm feeling that second hand stretched.

530
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 8: In a j and I still remember petting her up

531
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 8: out of her kitchle and she was wet some like,

532
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 8: you know, stopping from crying and being on her own

533
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 8: and up yet and I felt terrible.

534
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 2: Well, he can I just say on, behalf of evy on,

535
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 2: behalf of everyone out there. Mums do such an amazing job,

536
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,920
Speaker 2: and you can all you can cut yourself some slack today, Okay,

537
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 2: all cut yourself some.

538
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 10: Staff Maddy and PJ. Mady and PJ the podcast that.

539
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,760
Speaker 2: Do You sometimes have those moments in life where you go,

540
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 2: why do I do the thing that I do? And

541
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: then you realize, I don't know a who taught me

542
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 2: that this is the way it's meant to be done,

543
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 2: b whether I'm even doing it right in the first place.

544
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 2: And see, we would even look to figure out what

545
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 2: the actual situation was and how you're meant to do it.

546
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: Yes, the everyday habits that we do from such a

547
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: young age that just becomes so embedded in our lifestyle

548
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,160
Speaker 1: that we don't even I guess, second guess until then

549
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 1: maybe you're exposed through another way and you're.

550
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 2: Like, hang about this is so low level. But I

551
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 2: was making dinner before I came to work today, and

552
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 2: I had leaks that I was cutting off. Love leaks, leaks,

553
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:09,080
Speaker 2: leak and butter, leks, certa, potato and links, so just

554
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 2: leaks in anything, oh, leaks and bacon. Oh anyway, So

555
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 2: I was chopping up these leaks and then I realized,

556
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 2: all anytime I cut up leaks, all I cut up

557
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 2: is the like the harder white bit, and then I

558
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 2: leave the green stalks and I throw them away. And

559
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 2: then I thought to myself, why do I throw them away?

560
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: Who told me that I meant to throw them away?

561
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 2: Am I meant to throw them away? And I had

562
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 2: this leak existential crisis in the kitchen where I went,

563
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,680
Speaker 2: am I doing this? Have I been doing it wrong

564
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 2: my entire life? And I don't even know that I

565
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 2: You're not.

566
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: Alone because I had a similar moment earlier in the year,

567
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: and I think I was like, hang about no, I

568
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: think this other half is all good, because I always

569
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 1: get put off by the course BT. It seems more

570
00:28:57,360 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: coarse down the other east, but once you cook it up,

571
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 1: it actually sign right. But I still continue, and I

572
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: think I changed it for a bit, but then I

573
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: kind of reverted to my old way of just cutting

574
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 1: to the end of the white part.

575
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: So I need to know, is this a thing that

576
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 2: you aren't meant to actually utilize the end green, stalky

577
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,960
Speaker 2: bit of a leak? Or have I been doing it

578
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 2: wrong my entire life? I need to know.

579
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: Well, it's like when I found out my friend eats

580
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: all of the broccoli, the stalks and all, and apparently

581
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 1: it's just as good and it's just as good for you. Yeah,

582
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: as you'll chop up the broccoli, chuck it in a

583
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: stir fry. I've seen Cox talk about just chop it

584
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 1: all up, put it in a salad. We're missing out

585
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: on the good bit, I know, but.

586
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: This is just the way we've done it our entire lives.

587
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: Okay, So are you like Medie tackling the vigation? Do

588
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: you only chop to the white part of a lake

589
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: or do you use the whole thing?

590
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 3: Takes through four four a.

591
00:29:59,240 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 10: The podcast.

592
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 3: Now we've got to address leak.

593
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:08,560
Speaker 1: Gate that was mentioned earlier this hour. Many heads at

594
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: Epiphany when cutting leaks in the kitchen.

595
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 2: I've only ever cut up the like white. But I

596
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: might go a little, I might veer slightly into the

597
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 2: green territory of a leak. But for the most part,

598
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: I'm chopping off the end, the very hard bit of

599
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 2: the green, and I'm throwing it away.

600
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,600
Speaker 3: I think I lied. I think I was being deceitful.

601
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: I think I said I only do the white, but

602
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: I actually do go probably towards the I get pretty

603
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 1: close to the dark green. I definitely get the light green.

604
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 1: I definitely get the white, but it just gets so

605
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: coarse down the end. So we want to know what's

606
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 1: the official ruling with what you.

607
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:42,240
Speaker 3: Do with your leaks.

608
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the overwhelming majority of people on the text

609
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: machine have said, you do not throw away the green

610
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 2: bit of a leak. Someone said, I use the whole leak.

611
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 2: Someone else said, never throw away your greens metal. You

612
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: wouldn't do this with a bring onion.

613
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 3: It's true. Someone said, no matter, you use the green

614
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 3: bit as well. It's full of nutrients.

615
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: Although you're not alone. I've only ever used the white

616
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: stalk of the lake. But I have the same crisis

617
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: with spring onions and I do the same with these.

618
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: Am I doing it wrong?

619
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 3: I'd love to know.

620
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 2: Please, this is the thing because I had this realization,

621
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 2: I went, this is the way I've always done it,

622
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 2: But I can't remember why. Who told me that this

623
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 2: is the way that it's done. And am I doing

624
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 2: it wrong? I'm happy to be proven wrong.

625
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: Someone did say the core star kend can be used.

626
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: You sometimes don't need to cook it longer, and it

627
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: can be used in a stock. Here we go, Did

628
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: we just become a cooking channel?

629
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 4: Many inpj A podcasts, many and PJS group.

630
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:49,160
Speaker 1: Therapy another week, another chance to sit down and have

631
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:53,479
Speaker 1: a collective sigh of relief, no judgment and group therapy.

632
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 3: This is where you can get in touch with us.

633
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,720
Speaker 1: Let us know something that's going on in your life,

634
00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: and we will do our best to dissect it and

635
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: for our advice, but more importantly, throw it out to

636
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: New Zealand to see what they.

637
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 3: Think about it.

638
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 2: I've even got myself a cup of tea as a prop.

639
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a legit cup of tea.

640
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 3: But it feels very like it feels just relaxes you.

641
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like the perfect prop to have for

642
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 2: a therapy session this afternoon.

643
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 3: I have no water left in my bottle, so I'm

644
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 3: just going to suck on my bottle as a prop

645
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 3: like you.

646
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: Well, you suck away while I read this quite firstya

647
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 2: to this week's dilemma. Okay Jesus christ Okay, Hey many MPJ.

648
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 2: I'm in a bit of a bind. I'm thirty one

649
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,120
Speaker 2: and for as long as I can remember, Christmas has

650
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 2: always been at my parents' house. My mum insists on

651
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 2: doing everything by the book, all the same food, decorations,

652
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: even music. She loves Christmas. But this year, my partner

653
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:54,720
Speaker 2: and I were plainly just been Christmas at his family's

654
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 2: beach house. We've done the traditional thing for years, and honestly,

655
00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 2: I just want to break and so something different. When

656
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 2: I mentioned it to my mum, she was not happy.

657
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 2: She said Christmas isn't the same without all of us there,

658
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 2: and that I'm being selfish for breaking a long standing

659
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 2: family tradition. I get that it's special to her, but

660
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,120
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm allowed to start making my own traditions.

661
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: My siblings are staying with her, so it's not like

662
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 2: she's going to be alone. But she's acting like I'm

663
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 2: ruining Christmas. Should I change my plans to keep the

664
00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 2: peace or is it time to set some boundaries and

665
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 2: make my own holiday choices. I get it.

666
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: As someone who I don't think I actually ever ventured

667
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,960
Speaker 1: away from my family.

668
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 2: You've never I don't think I have.

669
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,719
Speaker 3: I was literally through that trying to work it out.

670
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: We will see Bja's family, but I'll always see me

671
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 1: on the day. I just it's something I've always done,

672
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 1: and I get it. I get that you don't want

673
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: to break your mum's heart, but I do think you're

674
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,800
Speaker 1: at the age what you do need to set boundaries,

675
00:33:55,520 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: kind boundaries and perhaps get a little creative an alternative

676
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,920
Speaker 1: that you can come up with. So maybe it's something

677
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 1: before Chrissie, or maybe there's something cute that you can do, yeah,

678
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 1: over FaceTime.

679
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 2: I get it, though. It's an interesting dilemma that you

680
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 2: face when you are all of a sudden having to

681
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 2: think about someone else and someone else's family because for

682
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 2: such a long time I was single and all I

683
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 2: had to worry about at the end of the year

684
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 2: was what I wanted to do, and that always involved

685
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,240
Speaker 2: my family, right, So I was always home for Christmas.

686
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,200
Speaker 2: My siblings were always home for Christmas, and we did

687
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: everything together. And then as soon as I met Ryan,

688
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 2: I had to factor in this other person in their family.

689
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: And the truth is, you know, my my I was

690
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 2: going to.

691
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:39,879
Speaker 3: Say, how did you break Tracy's heart?

692
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,120
Speaker 2: She loves Christmas and one of her one of her

693
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 2: quintessential phrases that she always says to my brother and

694
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 2: sister and I is just my happy place and the

695
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 2: three of you. So you know, you do feel like

696
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 2: you're breaking her heart a little bit, But the truth

697
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: is that is what a relationship is. All about is

698
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,840
Speaker 2: about compromise. And I could never tell Ryan that I

699
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 2: don't care enough about his family to give them the

700
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 2: opportunity to spend Christmas with us as well. That would

701
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: be so that would be selfish of me to do that.

702
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 2: You know, the mom is calling her selfish for not

703
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 2: being with us with her family. It goes both ways.

704
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 3: So how do you kindly set the boundaries? How do

705
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 3: you let mommy down gently?

706
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,760
Speaker 2: I think you have to say, Mum, I'm a thirty

707
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: one year old who is forging my own path in

708
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 2: the world, and I have a partner, and I have

709
00:35:28,239 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 2: to consider his or their needs and their family's needs

710
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 2: as well. But I think you have to be a

711
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 2: bit strong here.

712
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 3: I wait hundred of hats. Maybe you've been in this

713
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 3: exact position. How did you do it?

714
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: How did you tell mom that you weren't going to

715
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:45,400
Speaker 1: be coming over Christmas this year? Did you let it

716
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: down gently or did you just rip the band aid off?

717
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,320
Speaker 1: I'll wait hundred of the hats to weigh in for

718
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 1: Great Therapy this week.

719
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 4: Many INPJ the podcasts Many and pj's Group Therapy.

720
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: In the meantime, when I see a family dilemma as

721
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,320
Speaker 1: we head into Christmas, can you please recap medie.

722
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, this person said, I'm in a bit of a bine.

723
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 2: I'm thirty one, and for as long as I can remember,

724
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: Christmas has always been at my parents' house. My mum

725
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 2: loves Christmas. But this year, my partner and I were

726
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 2: planning to spend Christmas at his family's beach house. When

727
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,720
Speaker 2: I mentioned it to my mom, she was not happy.

728
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 2: She said Christmas isn't the same without all of us there,

729
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 2: and that I'm being selfish for breaking a long standing

730
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 2: family tradition. I get that it's special to her, but

731
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm allowed to start making my own traditions.

732
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 2: My siblings are staying with her so she won't be alone,

733
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 2: but she's acting like I'm ruining Christmas. Should I change

734
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 2: my plans to keep the peace or is it time

735
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:44,240
Speaker 2: to set some boundaries and make my own holiday choices.

736
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 1: I was just going to say, could you invite her

737
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 1: to the beach house? But if she's got all the sublings,

738
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 1: then it's just going to be so much.

739
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 2: And it sounds like she loves hosting Christmas at her her.

740
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: Place, basting the turkey, getting all the brandy, snaps ready,

741
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: Brandy snaps and frame. All right, we want to know

742
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: your thoughts on the situation. Have you been in a

743
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 1: similar pickle? What do you think this person should do?

744
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 3: Jaden, welcome to.

745
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,959
Speaker 16: The show and go ahead.

746
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,320
Speaker 3: Good, yeah, very well, what do you reckon?

747
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 16: So what me and my partner do is one year

748
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 16: we'll spend it with my family on Christmas Day and

749
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 16: then we've been Boxing Day, we first side of the family,

750
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 16: and then the following year we'll switch around, just so

751
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 16: you know, it's not too much traveling all on one day,

752
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 16: but everyone sort of gets to turn.

753
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 2: It Christmas smart and then you're still diplomatic, very diplomatic,

754
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 2: although man, sometimes I think that about you know, that's

755
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 2: then on you to always be the one that's making

756
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 2: the arrangements, travel plans and stuff. But it's very nice

757
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 2: of you, Jayden, It's very very nice.

758
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 3: It's Christmas many you went from Auckland to Queenstown. Did

759
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 3: you do did you know what I thinking of when

760
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:55,320
Speaker 3: you did that?

761
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 2: What Ron and I have actually done once which works

762
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 2: quite wow. We traveled on Christmas Day, traveled on Christmas Day,

763
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 2: so we did in the lead up to Christmas and

764
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 2: then Christmas morning with Ryan's family, and then and then

765
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: lunchtime we flew from Ryan's family to Queenstown to be

766
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 2: with my family and then stayed with them for a

767
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 2: few days post Christmas as well.

768
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 3: Hectic or actually quite doable.

769
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 2: Amazing because everyone got a piece of the pie. B

770
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 2: We got a couple of hours in the middle of

771
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,879
Speaker 2: the day where it was just the two of us

772
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 2: chilling out.

773
00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,919
Speaker 1: That's true, Yeah, because you would have been in the lounge,

774
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: wouldn't you start?

775
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,680
Speaker 3: Must be nice. What are your thoughts on this situation?

776
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 9: Hey, guys, Usually I'd say do your own thing, but

777
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 9: I guess it just depends are they going to be

778
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 9: with family at the beach house or are they going

779
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 9: to be on their own? Because you didn't actually say

780
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 9: if they were going to be with families, so I

781
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 9: don't feel like they might be ditching a little better.

782
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,320
Speaker 9: It's not really a tradition to go alone to the

783
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 9: beach house.

784
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, anytime it just says they we're planning to spend

785
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 2: Christmas at the family's beach house, doesn't necessarily say with

786
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 2: the I just assumed with the family.

787
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good there's good observation, Scott.

788
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 1: We didn't actually manage to extrapolate the detail, but that

789
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 1: is a good point at least wrap it up with

790
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 1: Jane oh eight hundred hats hi Jane, Hi, how are you?

791
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:19,720
Speaker 3: What do you reckon?

792
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:25,960
Speaker 18: Well, the same as the previous caller, we alternate between families,

793
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 18: and one of the grandmothers said she'd rather have the

794
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 18: whole family together every second year and then have an

795
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 18: off year with no family because she likes having all

796
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 18: the kids and the grandkids all interacting together.

797
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

798
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 2: Right, right, So basically you you should make sure that

799
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 2: all of the family are there at the one place

800
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 2: and then give them a year off so that they

801
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 2: can go and do their own thing.

802
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:48,439
Speaker 10: Yeah.

803
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 9: Well, I like that.

804
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 3: It's like it's a bit of a breather. You get

805
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 3: a bit of downtime in the.

806
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 2: Year off because it being the being a host is

807
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 2: it a lobs a hard job.

808
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: But I I think everyone can agree on the fact that, yes,

809
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 1: you know, you're at the age you can sit boundaries.

810
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 1: You can do it kindly. There are ways to get

811
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 1: around it. To appease mummy and to appease your partner.

812
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:11,759
Speaker 3: You can do that.

813
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 9: You can do it.

814
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 2: You can do both.

815
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 10: Maddy and PJ Maddy and PJ. The podcast The Heads