Speaker 1: The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting nonsense and clap Trap,
Speaker 1: brought to you by Export Vulture.
Speaker 2: It's a great pleasure to welcome into the show for
Speaker 2: I believe the first time ever. It is Sony Live
Speaker 2: and studio.
Speaker 3: You know Isha, you know Matte, Yeah, going good guys,
Speaker 3: thanks for having me.
Speaker 4: It's a story you picked up a bit of a
Speaker 4: cough mate, bit of bloody monkey pock's going on around.
Speaker 5: Well, what a morning to have a bit of a
Speaker 5: tickle in your throat because you've been put through what
Speaker 5: we call the n Z ed me car wash, where
Speaker 5: you just get kind of wheeled around at different stations
Speaker 5: and interviewed. I guess yes, but you're here with some
Speaker 5: news before we talk a bit of cricket. No, well,
Speaker 5: not that you're pregnant, No, twins. Tickets are on sale
Speaker 5: for the summer. We've we've had the schedule got announced
Speaker 5: a month or so ago, but tickets are going to
Speaker 5: be on sale today and exclusively too for people who
Speaker 5: sign up for the what was it called nation Cricket
Speaker 5: Nation a nation, So they're going to be exclusive pre
Speaker 5: sale period and I'm picking that they're going to be
Speaker 5: hot property, particularly that English series going up in November December.
Speaker 5: So yeah, thanks for coming in. Yeah, no, she's heard me. No,
Speaker 5: no worries. Now we found out that you're a bit
Speaker 5: of a birdman. I am a birdman. You're a huge
Speaker 5: bird fan, A very big fan of birds.
Speaker 2: Yeah why, sorry to ask it that way, but what
Speaker 2: is it about birds?
Speaker 3: I believe in evolution and I think they're just little
Speaker 3: dinosaurs with wings.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, they definitely are. We said David Yuka in
Speaker 2: here last week and we were talking about what's the
Speaker 2: biggest animal you could beat in a fight?
Speaker 4: And he said that because he's living over in Australia. Now,
Speaker 4: He's like, there's these things called cassiwaries. They live in
Speaker 4: the bush. He's like, there's no way you could beat
Speaker 4: a cassowary. And I am firmly of the belief that
Speaker 4: there is not a bird on this earth that could
Speaker 4: beat me in a one on one fight.
Speaker 3: I'd love to see you go one on one with
Speaker 3: an Ostrich bro he.
Speaker 5: Reckons he could take it.
Speaker 4: This is a castilary I could take yeah, Ostro don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 4: any bird, but Ostrich is the one that gives me
Speaker 4: the shit. It's a fight to the death.
Speaker 5: Too. You're at it. It's a death cage fight situation.
Speaker 5: I'd be pretty scary though, the beaks coming out of
Speaker 5: your eyes.
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, the beaks are scary.
Speaker 4: And again we've talked about this at length, at this,
Speaker 4: at nauseum, at this on this podcast.
Speaker 2: I know I'll get scratched up, but I think I
Speaker 2: could just about get it.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 2: All we gonna do is get hold of the head, run.
Speaker 5: Circles around you though.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure the ostrich is like the fastest two
Speaker 3: legged animal in the world.
Speaker 5: Oh that is, but it's but it's in an octagon.
Speaker 5: So unless it just runs around around the octagon and
Speaker 5: eventually you could just grab its take out its head,
Speaker 5: and then you've got to take the legs, it's going
Speaker 5: to be a I mean, it won't be pretty.
Speaker 2: In my defense, as you haven't seen me run and
Speaker 2: I might be raping myself.
Speaker 5: Tickets for that going on sale. I'm buying joint acc
Speaker 5: Nation to get your expos fre sale of those tickets.
Speaker 5: But how far is your so your bird watcher? Is
Speaker 5: that what you get to do or twitcher? I was
Speaker 5: a bird watcher when I was twenty four. Brother.
Speaker 6: I used to go I used to go to like
Speaker 6: the local guards and like take a little set of
Speaker 6: binoculars and I'd be like twenty four and there'd be
Speaker 6: eighty year olds around me.
Speaker 5: I was like, brol, it's a bit too early for this.
Speaker 5: You've got time. Yeah, So I'll pull back and I'll
Speaker 5: revisit it, probably in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2: And so do you take awa like book with you
Speaker 2: and mark down what birds you see or how does
Speaker 2: it work?
Speaker 3: No, I'm still pretty novice, but I've sort of been hunting,
Speaker 3: like not hunting.
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't hunt cado, but I hunt photos
Speaker 6: of so really delicious and well, no, that's political.
Speaker 5: Have you have you? There's some there's some cando out
Speaker 5: on Ragatoto. If you go out there who are like
Speaker 5: they're quite tame and they're on the on the track
Speaker 5: and you just about knock your head on them, and
Speaker 5: they're just there and they're just sit in the tree
Speaker 5: and they don't even move when you go past. The
Speaker 5: gluttons are one of the one of the great birds.
Speaker 5: So do you partake in Bird of the Year every year?
Speaker 5: Got a bit of controversy last year with a bit
Speaker 5: of American involvement. What Was it the hoy haul last year? No,
Speaker 5: this year was the hoy the yellowined penguin twenty four,
Speaker 5: but twenty three was picked up by John Oliver. Is
Speaker 5: it the Particki, the crazy Australian one with the thing? Anyway,
Speaker 5: it won by about four hundred thousand votes because all
Speaker 5: these Americans started voting. I thought Particki was was flounder.
Speaker 5: That'd be unusual for the bird of the Yet, look
Speaker 5: I've probably totally mispronounced ituts that name, but it was
Speaker 5: an Australian one with a crazy head. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I was upset enough when I heard that it was
Speaker 4: an Australian bird. Now I'm hearing it's a flounder.
Speaker 2: The bood of the year has.
Speaker 5: Been through a bat because remember that fucking bat one
Speaker 5: one year. Yes, it's like a bird, it's a mammal, Like,
Speaker 5: that's bullshit, it's got wings. And now Australian birds one.
Speaker 5: And then there was Russian involvement, there were bots, There
Speaker 5: was all sorts of shit. And then and you saw
Speaker 5: Scotty J. Stevenson out there about the black the black
Speaker 5: built seagull.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the blackbilt goal.
Speaker 6: It's an endangered bird and is actually a fresh water bird.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there is effect for you. Yeah, and who knew
Speaker 5: that any seagull was endangered? Yes? Right, because you just
Speaker 5: see those ben chickens at the dark beach and you
Speaker 5: just presume they're just everywhere.
Speaker 2: But so it's a freshwater bird. Is it wrong to
Speaker 2: call it a sea gull then? Because it's actually it's not,
Speaker 2: is it?
Speaker 5: Well, it's not.
Speaker 6: It's called a black build gull, right, but we we
Speaker 6: just assume they're seagulls when we see them outain the belt.
Speaker 6: So yeah, Scotty, Scotty Stevenson actually corrected me once and
Speaker 6: I was I was like, there's seagulls and he was like, no.
Speaker 4: BROI it doesn't go anywhere near the sea.
Speaker 5: The cricket to us sounds really rock and roll where
Speaker 5: you like, you're Scotty just talking birds, just correcting each
Speaker 5: other direct but it's good fun.
Speaker 4: Would would you take the binoculars with you on tour
Speaker 4: back in the day and have a look to see
Speaker 4: what birds you can see overseas?
Speaker 6: Mate, I've got a bit of regret because like we're
Speaker 6: in Zimbabwe and a couple of safaris once and then
Speaker 6: with some wild parrots and stuff like that.
Speaker 5: I would have loved to see them.
Speaker 2: Up close to my binocular Yeah you didn't take them.
Speaker 6: Well, I was only twenty two, like my bird watching
Speaker 6: phases about twenty four. So oh, hopefully there's another tour
Speaker 6: there coming up. I will be taking like a big
Speaker 6: seat of binoculars.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah. The team are in Sri Lanka at the moment,
Speaker 5: and the national bird is a jungle chicken. Yeah, it's
Speaker 5: a jungle fowl, it's called and it's a wild thing,
Speaker 5: you know. It's a wild chicken with like crazy feathers.
Speaker 5: And I went to a national park there and the
Speaker 5: guy was like, there's our national bird. It's a jungle fowl.
Speaker 5: That's a jungle chicken. And that calls that it came
Speaker 5: running out with all its feathers up in its head.
Speaker 2: To be fair, ours is pretty much a jungle chicken
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 5: Yeah, a slightless, flightless bird that lays massive eggs.
Speaker 2: I don't think we should be taking big those eggs.
Speaker 5: Well, the Kiwi eggs, it's like one third of the
Speaker 5: size of the Kiwi yes per like it's the biggest
Speaker 5: egg per size of bird on Earth.
Speaker 4: And that's the issue with farming them, because I've said
Speaker 4: for the longest time that we should farm kiwi so
Speaker 4: that we so they don't go extinct, because you know,
Speaker 4: chickens are never going to go extinct because we're farming them.
Speaker 2: Same with sheep cows, that kind of thing. But it's
Speaker 2: just a gestation period issue. You know, they're looking after
Speaker 2: the egg for too long.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's only one egg.
Speaker 2: And it's one egg, that's right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course the size you can't blast out too.
Speaker 2: Ess. No, I wouldn't have thought so. And that's why
Speaker 2: you know chickens they can blast one out almost every day,
Speaker 2: you know, a well feed chicken.
Speaker 5: So like the village bike of birds, they aren't know
Speaker 5: the chicken. Everyone's having to go. That's why they're blasting
Speaker 5: out all the eggs.
Speaker 2: Well, no, that's not how the e This is not
Speaker 2: how I expected this podcast together. Eggs work at all.
Speaker 4: We're coming up to obviously, summer is you know the
Speaker 4: season of cricket you'll be playing.
Speaker 2: You do it for a job. But do you get
Speaker 2: roped into backyard battles over Christmas? In New Years? You
Speaker 2: must have a target on your back whenever you go
Speaker 2: home for Christmas all the.
Speaker 5: Time, all the time.
Speaker 6: Like pans own, you know how many beers you've had
Speaker 6: at the time. But it gets pretty competitive, especially with
Speaker 6: like people people that are your age, like your mates
Speaker 6: come out.
Speaker 5: It's pretty competitive. So yeah, there's definitely and so do you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think we all do this in back cricket.
Speaker 2: You come out and just toss up a couple of
Speaker 2: pies to sort of get a read on the batsman, and.
Speaker 3: Then your auntie nails you for a boundary or something like.
Speaker 5: Boss bro. Now she put one to you in trouble.
Speaker 5: I think you just retire back to the barbecue after that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all my bird watching binoculars. Oh yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 2: suppose to go hand in hand on the crocket and
Speaker 2: bird watching.
Speaker 5: Well, there's a lot of time. There's a lot of
Speaker 5: dwell time. And I've always said this about cricket. I
Speaker 5: played a lot of cricket. It's a very strange game
Speaker 5: played by very strange people. It's a unique that's a
Speaker 5: unique characters come out of cricket. And you know, the
Speaker 5: great Bill Laurie was a great you know, pigeon fanc here,
Speaker 5: you know, and spent a lot of time just watching pigeons.
Speaker 5: And that's potentially something you could do on the balcony there,
Speaker 5: because if you know you've got putting your time on
Speaker 5: your hands, just get the binoculars out, saying that if
Speaker 5: the coverage cut to each SODI on the balcony with
Speaker 5: some binoculars look pretty dodgy. Yeah, I thinking of a
Speaker 5: different type of bird watching. I'd like, yeah, I'll be like,
Speaker 5: what's he up to? And then your defense would me,
Speaker 5: I'm a I'm a twitter, I'm a bird watcher. Whatever. Whatever.
Speaker 5: It was an albatross in the corner.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The other thing that I know about most professional cricketers
Speaker 4: is that they are actually probably it's probably better to
Speaker 4: describe them as professional golfers who every now and then
Speaker 4: play cricket.
Speaker 2: Are you're a big golfer?
Speaker 3: No, I'm not really.
Speaker 5: I've never been a big golf race.
Speaker 6: So I think looking back, I probably should have played
Speaker 6: a bit more golf because like, everyone plays golf.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like, and you always ask like, oh, what's your hobbies?
Speaker 3: Everyone will say golf, But I'm kind of like watching.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's abstract. So when all the team we're out
Speaker 5: playing golf, because it must be a big chunk of
Speaker 5: the team who just play golf, you just watch a
Speaker 5: few birds.
Speaker 6: Now, like, but there's always like a contingent of people
Speaker 6: that will stay back at the hotel and stuff and
Speaker 6: one things to do, play a lot of table tennis.
Speaker 2: On to it.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, who's I heard? Mitchell Satin is pretty handy mate.
Speaker 3: Any game, any game that you put in front of them,
Speaker 3: Mitchell Satin is going to be number one.
Speaker 5: He's that kind of guy. He's that kind of guy.
Speaker 3: Just frustrated mate, you know, you know he's a gun
Speaker 3: data and.
Speaker 5: I really want to die him.
Speaker 6: Like he's awesome and you do anything. Mat put his
Speaker 6: mind to it, and he's pretty frustrating to watch them
Speaker 6: run it straight. Okay, surprisingly strong really, it's so like
Speaker 6: long and like you know he's got he's got that
Speaker 6: sinewy strength.
Speaker 5: Has he got sew strength like you see a real
Speaker 5: skinny dude. And the tackle as well because it hurts
Speaker 5: left TV weights you know.
Speaker 4: Stuff is really wouldn't have picked that. Outside of those
Speaker 4: what do you get up to when you're away on tour?
Speaker 4: Are you a gamer?
Speaker 2: Do you take a console with you or side of
Speaker 2: the bird watching and training? What do you get into it?
Speaker 6: Got a bit of an old solo like I actually
Speaker 6: didn't win to a Gaming convention the other day and
Speaker 6: like trying to play Fortnite. Yeah, yeah, no idea, what
Speaker 6: was going on? Like definitely like not really up to
Speaker 6: speed with that sort of thing. So used to play
Speaker 6: Nintendo Yeah, the.
Speaker 3: Heathog, Yeah, street Fighter at the Fist and chip Shop, Yes, yeah,
Speaker 3: a toy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I play a little bit of a Fortnite. But
Speaker 5: I just got lit up by seven year olds and
Speaker 5: you know they can they can talk to you and stuff. Well,
Speaker 5: it was the most humiliating. The seven year and was
Speaker 5: my son in all his mates and just lighting you
Speaker 5: up every five seconds. It just sucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, can't get out. I'm out of you building a
Speaker 2: castle around him there humping you did carcass, They're all darting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's humiliating. That's an absolute killer. Anyway, I feel
Speaker 4: like you're going to lose your voice. But before you do,
Speaker 4: we need to get through lanes Infamous twenty two and two. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we asked these of every guest there.
Speaker 5: They're a quick fire twenty two questions and two minutes
Speaker 5: you just answer and move on. We've asked the like
Speaker 5: col Mills. We put col Mills through this. He did
Speaker 5: struggle at times. Tim South He's been put through it,
Speaker 5: as has Cain Williamson, Liam Lawson, he put through it
Speaker 5: as well. David Nuka he was recently okay, so it's
Speaker 5: very quick fire. So it's just no kind of answers.
Speaker 5: Coffee or tea, coffee, sex or drugs, sex, hard or
Speaker 5: fast fast? Would you rather wake up nude next to
Speaker 5: Hamish or James Marshall?
Speaker 3: I have worken up new DICKX to James Marshall answer, Would.
Speaker 5: You rather spend an hour watching David Warner replays of
Speaker 5: him scoring one hundred? Or get water boarded by an
Speaker 5: ex Navy seal with PTSD Second option tye or Indian? Indian?
Speaker 5: Eat out or dine in? Eat out? Freddy Mercury or
Speaker 5: Elton John Freddy Mercury, wet or dry wet? Cats or
Speaker 5: dogs cats? Travis Kelcey or Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift, Grant,
Speaker 5: Elliott Heath Davis and Matthew Sinclair. Who's got the biggest downstairs? Here?
Speaker 5: You haveln reckon? What cricket legend would you bring back
Speaker 5: from the dead, Sir Donald Bradman? If that ceremony to
Speaker 5: bring back Donald Bradman resulted in you talking like Kevin
Speaker 5: Peterson for the rest of your life. Would you still
Speaker 5: do it? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, probably would Have you ever fighted a gun?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: Have you ever killed anything bigger than an insect?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: Who's the most famous person you've met?
Speaker 3: The most famous person I've meet is David Bickham.
Speaker 2: Oh it's hot.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Oh.
Speaker 5: Laura mcgoldritt was saying that, Yeah, she was. Yeah anyway, yes,
Speaker 5: because she interviewed she had ten dollcer on one side
Speaker 5: and Beckham on the other, and she said that was
Speaker 5: one of the greatest moments you'll ever have in your life.
Speaker 5: Totally anyway.
Speaker 2: Two.
Speaker 5: Yeah, if you had a reoccurring nightmare that a snowman
Speaker 5: killed himself with a hair dryer, would you be concerned?
Speaker 2: I would be severely concerned.
Speaker 5: If you're offered a knighthood, would you accept it? I
Speaker 5: would have done something pretty special. But yeah, at what
Speaker 5: age do people say they've had a fall instead of
Speaker 5: falling down? Sixty three? Nice? Have you ever screamed at
Speaker 5: someone Google me, motherfucker?
Speaker 6: Ah?
Speaker 5: No. If you were going to get a statue made
Speaker 5: of yourself, where where would it be? Where would you
Speaker 5: put it? And what would what pose would it be be?
Speaker 6: I don't know, maybe like at the Native gardens and
Speaker 6: Hagley Oval will mean like a like an Eagle Richard
Speaker 6: scenario with a pair of binoculars around my neck and
Speaker 6: maybe a cricket ball in both my hands slightly bent
Speaker 6: rest like I'm about to bowl double leggies.
Speaker 2: In a bush that you're really going to look like.
Speaker 5: I'm still here, but I'm coming for you. I must
Speaker 5: have been. That's one of the best answers we've had
Speaker 5: to that question. Tim Southeast was he'd be rearing up
Speaker 5: on a stallion fully nude and you put it on
Speaker 5: the front of Dan Vatori's house. Hey, thanks for coming
Speaker 5: in each tickets on sale today, just join up to
Speaker 5: Cricket Nation to get your hands exclusively on that pre sale.
Speaker 5: Get in there quick because particularly that first series against
Speaker 5: England is going to go and then we've got Bangladesh
Speaker 5: and then Pakistan throughout the rest of the summer. So
Speaker 5: get on there and grab your tickets and than very
Speaker 5: much and good luck for the summer. Hope to catch
Speaker 5: up with you then. Cool.
Speaker 2: Thanks boys to Aspert.
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