1 00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:10,453 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Saturday Morning with Jack tam podcast 2 00:00:10,573 --> 00:00:11,693 Speaker 1: from News Talks at Me. 3 00:00:12,733 --> 00:00:17,373 Speaker 2: Well, it was Murphy's law, of course, an inevitable that'll 4 00:00:17,413 --> 00:00:21,653 Speaker 2: teach you for breaking one of the golden laws of parenting. 5 00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,613 Speaker 2: Never take off a nappy if you don't have a 6 00:00:24,693 --> 00:00:29,173 Speaker 2: replacement immediately to hand, especially when your six week old 7 00:00:29,213 --> 00:00:33,853 Speaker 2: baby has been stewing and straining and writhing in his 8 00:00:34,013 --> 00:00:38,533 Speaker 2: cot and double especially. Yeah, that's the thing, when he 9 00:00:38,733 --> 00:00:42,613 Speaker 2: just had the live rotavirus vaccine and it's playing havoc 10 00:00:42,693 --> 00:00:45,813 Speaker 2: with his belly. It was just as I bent his 11 00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:49,413 Speaker 2: legs up and put a little squeeze on his stomach 12 00:00:49,693 --> 00:00:53,213 Speaker 2: that I sensed it something in the air, a drop 13 00:00:53,293 --> 00:00:58,373 Speaker 2: in barometric pressure, maybe a little facial expression, a little twitch. 14 00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:01,453 Speaker 2: Perhaps it might have been two o'clock in the morning. 15 00:01:01,533 --> 00:01:05,013 Speaker 2: But I threw myself back and across the room, out 16 00:01:05,093 --> 00:01:07,533 Speaker 2: of the line of fire, kind of like that scene 17 00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:11,773 Speaker 2: in The Matrix where time stops and Neo dodges bullets, 18 00:01:13,213 --> 00:01:17,133 Speaker 2: and you know in horror films when someone has their 19 00:01:17,173 --> 00:01:20,533 Speaker 2: throat slit and the blood sprays on the wall. It's 20 00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:24,093 Speaker 2: kind of a pattern, an arc, a kind of parabola 21 00:01:24,253 --> 00:01:28,973 Speaker 2: of Crimson gore. Well, it was like that, except it 22 00:01:29,053 --> 00:01:33,333 Speaker 2: was yellow. An explosion of you know what was in 23 00:01:33,373 --> 00:01:37,333 Speaker 2: his tummy one second, and literally dripping down the wall 24 00:01:37,653 --> 00:01:41,493 Speaker 2: the next, and the bin, and on the laundry basket, 25 00:01:41,853 --> 00:01:46,013 Speaker 2: and on the exposed floorboards, the corner of the chunky 26 00:01:46,213 --> 00:01:49,693 Speaker 2: walnut carpet. Somehow he got it through the crack of 27 00:01:49,733 --> 00:01:53,933 Speaker 2: the door to my wardrobe, a patina of tiny little 28 00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:58,493 Speaker 2: specks of yellow down on my shoes. The distance he 29 00:01:58,573 --> 00:02:02,813 Speaker 2: covered was actually unbelievable. I pulled out a tape measure 30 00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:05,933 Speaker 2: the next morning, just out of curiosity. From the change 31 00:02:06,013 --> 00:02:10,213 Speaker 2: table to the wall was ninety odd centimeters, so twice 32 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,693 Speaker 2: his height in relative terms. It's as if I pulled, 33 00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:17,653 Speaker 2: twisted and strained, pulled my legs up and propelled my 34 00:02:17,853 --> 00:02:22,093 Speaker 2: last meal across three and a half meters of open territory. 35 00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:26,493 Speaker 2: Give us world records, give us a call. I hosed 36 00:02:26,533 --> 00:02:30,373 Speaker 2: him down, delivered him to his mum, fetched the disinfectant, 37 00:02:30,413 --> 00:02:34,733 Speaker 2: and started scrubbing the walls. The next morning, I put 38 00:02:34,773 --> 00:02:37,453 Speaker 2: him on the change table once again. This time he 39 00:02:37,613 --> 00:02:41,333 Speaker 2: wasn't squirming. This time, his tummy was a bit more settled. 40 00:02:41,933 --> 00:02:44,613 Speaker 2: As I redressed him and pulled on his onesie. I 41 00:02:44,733 --> 00:02:48,093 Speaker 2: sang to my son, and he stared up into my eyes. 42 00:02:48,933 --> 00:02:55,453 Speaker 2: It's our problem, free, I sang. His face changed just 43 00:02:55,853 --> 00:03:03,333 Speaker 2: a little as he could. Was that was that a smile? Phlasophy? 44 00:03:05,693 --> 00:03:13,733 Speaker 2: He squealed, Hakuna matata. His whole mouth broke out in 45 00:03:13,773 --> 00:03:20,133 Speaker 2: a giant smile, no question, an unmistakable smile. His whole face, 46 00:03:20,253 --> 00:03:24,693 Speaker 2: his whole body seemed to smile with him. Just for me. 47 00:03:26,093 --> 00:03:30,093 Speaker 2: I felt my chest flood with endorphins. It was the 48 00:03:30,453 --> 00:03:35,333 Speaker 2: craziest physical reaction, just this rash, this kind of sweep 49 00:03:35,373 --> 00:03:40,453 Speaker 2: of joy and love. It said, it all really dripping 50 00:03:40,493 --> 00:03:44,613 Speaker 2: walls one day, his first smiles for dad the next. 51 00:03:45,453 --> 00:03:46,333 Speaker 2: Welcome to Parenting. 52 00:03:47,053 --> 00:03:50,133 Speaker 1: For more from Saturday Morning with Jack Tame, listen live 53 00:03:50,253 --> 00:03:53,053 Speaker 1: to news talks he'd be from nine am Saturday, or 54 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,053 Speaker 1: follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.