Speaker 1: Life from the Export, Beer Gut and Studio and brought
Speaker 1: to you, as always by Expert Ultra, which is the
Speaker 1: bear for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday,
Speaker 1: the fourth of December.
Speaker 2: The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap,
Speaker 2: brought to you by Export Ultra.
Speaker 3: Good morning, Julane, and a very good morning to Matt Heath.
Speaker 4: Kid. Hey guys morning.
Speaker 3: I'd like to start with an apology to you, Matt Heath.
Speaker 4: What'd you do this time last night?
Speaker 1: Last night we filmed it was like a bonus episode
Speaker 1: of Game of Two Halves. They said, we need someone
Speaker 1: for the buzz, the burner around.
Speaker 5: Yes, I've been involved in that. I've been I've been
Speaker 5: humiliated on it.
Speaker 3: A little bit of a spoiler. But we had so
Speaker 3: I rung Heath.
Speaker 1: We had a technical meltdown, which meant your you could
Speaker 1: hear the studio, right, yeah, but the studio couldn't hear you, right.
Speaker 1: And so what happened was basically you rung and were
Speaker 1: panned for about two minutes and then hung up on.
Speaker 3: It was like Laura was telling me that I that
Speaker 3: I didn't know what I was doing. I was like, look,
Speaker 3: I'm just trying to do I'm not getting any money
Speaker 3: for this. I'm just trying to help out. I'm getting
Speaker 3: absolutely ripped here. Already I already got fired from the show,
Speaker 3: and now I'm getting ripped. At least you got fired. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well you got canceled from it.
Speaker 4: Fired.
Speaker 3: I was also doing a radio shirt the same time.
Speaker 3: It's been recorded, playing the victim card here a little bit.
Speaker 5: I like to take issue with that whole segment of
Speaker 5: Game of Two Halves.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the burner has it worked well.
Speaker 5: The thing is I was involved in it and they
Speaker 5: didn't know how to hang up on me. So I
Speaker 5: was just hanging around like an old man's nappy. They
Speaker 5: were going just abuse me, get off? Did you like
Speaker 5: get out?
Speaker 3: I'm like that's what I'm still here and they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: how do we hang up? And I was like, well,
Speaker 3: I'm still here.
Speaker 5: Like just you know, when you're ready.
Speaker 3: I've got Violent Christmas starring you know, the guy from
Speaker 3: Stranger Things on pause waiting for the call.
Speaker 4: It's great movie, Violent Night.
Speaker 3: Have you seen it? No, It's a sort of die
Speaker 3: Hard meets Santa Claus and there's and it turns out
Speaker 3: that Sanacals is this sold Viking guy, but he's become
Speaker 3: an alcoholic, and he's and and but then he gets
Speaker 3: he gets sort of stuck in this house with these
Speaker 3: people that are getting attacked by terrorists, and so Santa
Speaker 3: Claus just goes around. David Harbor I think his name is,
Speaker 3: just goes around. It absolutely kills people that really fucking violent.
Speaker 3: He's got the sledge hair up proper bed center. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he's he's a good guy though he's it's for the
Speaker 3: right reason. He's protecting this little girl who's who's stuck
Speaker 3: in there.
Speaker 1: But it's very, very very funny. So you've got the
Speaker 1: screen pause. He's got a sledge hammer paused over someone's ears.
Speaker 3: I get the text from you to ring, I rang,
Speaker 3: and just get a flurry of abuse from Laura mcgoldbratt.
Speaker 4: And then I'm like, well it was no good. Turn goes.
Speaker 3: Right. I'll go back to my movie.
Speaker 1: It's a killer that kills me. It's not a spoiler,
Speaker 1: because you know he still I don't know who's going
Speaker 1: to win that. I actually don't think that is twenty December.
Speaker 3: All right, Okay, well, so just don't write, don't write
Speaker 3: that down, and don't see the calendar.
Speaker 4: I might invite to remind yourself that shows.
Speaker 5: You might end up on the cameroon floor anyway, So.
Speaker 3: Imagine I'll be you end up getting abused, abused.
Speaker 5: Okay, that's always good content.
Speaker 1: A couple of layers of complexity because they're actually running
Speaker 1: in it's an actual phone. It's not like some sort
Speaker 1: of computer system. It's a genuinely a Samsung phone that
Speaker 1: Laura McGoldrick has to operate and she doesn't know how
Speaker 1: to use it, right she Yeah, so there's so there's that.
Speaker 1: Then it's also how hard does it time through a phone? Oh,
Speaker 1: you'd be surprised, you'd be surprised you can't. And then
Speaker 1: she turns the screen off, but it's still ringing and then.
Speaker 3: It's going to have a bocket again. Yeah, that's why
Speaker 3: she couldn't hang up on you. There was Chris Key
Speaker 3: that couldn't hang up on that. Well, she if she
Speaker 3: knew that she didn't know after the phone, then it
Speaker 3: was unnecessary for it immediately going to abuse me for
Speaker 3: not knowing how to operate my iPhone that I operate
Speaker 3: every day, no problems at all. Yeah, there's a lot
Speaker 3: of blame man flung around. I mean it doesn't matter
Speaker 3: what's firing up ZIBB this week? What was I talking
Speaker 3: about yesterday? There was there was a good chat CRL
Speaker 3: CRL rail links not the cr rail lenk No, God,
Speaker 3: I can't even know what I was talking about. I
Speaker 3: was talking about these these watches here O heart rate monitors. Yeah,
Speaker 3: heart much because some doctors have come out and said
Speaker 3: that they hate heart rate monitors and people monitoring their
Speaker 3: own health because it's creating hypochondriacs.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, And I.
Speaker 3: Was like, yeah, but if your heart beat suddenly beating
Speaker 3: at one eighty, you do want to know about it.
Speaker 3: And you're just sitting on the couch watching Violent Night
Speaker 3: or something, and it's not just that you've been abused
Speaker 3: by Laura A. Goldrick down the phone line. You might
Speaker 3: need to go to the hospital. So do you monitor you?
Speaker 5: Its quite a bit because you've got a little smart
Speaker 5: watch there.
Speaker 3: A little but I just mainly monitored the little bunny
Speaker 3: on it. It looks at me that was the money.
Speaker 3: Do you feed that there? You feed that money? Give
Speaker 3: it at the chickens.
Speaker 4: What's your heart rate right now? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Are you able to check that? You'll check that for
Speaker 3: you guys, or just what's a normal.
Speaker 4: Heart rate range? We'll see.
Speaker 3: This is all these information that came in seventy and
Speaker 3: ninety or something.
Speaker 5: Is it you can mock out If it's too low
Speaker 5: and you're not an athlete, you've got issues, you.
Speaker 3: Can monitor all you're right. But if you don't know
Speaker 3: what the information is telling you that it's right, you
Speaker 3: can do an e C.
Speaker 5: Fifty sixty is probably resting fifty sixty?
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 3: Okay for a minute, Yeah, whether I go amout sixty five?
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so bit high.
Speaker 3: But yeah, but yeah, yeah, I am. You're engaged. I'm
Speaker 3: in New Zealand's top sporting podcast. I've got to have
Speaker 3: a level of you know, do you mind?
Speaker 5: Do you monitor it any other times, like when you're
Speaker 5: taking a dump or maybe making furious love? Do you
Speaker 5: look down you're furiously making love?
Speaker 3: Do you look down?
Speaker 4: Why haven't I been doing that? I don't know. I reckon.
Speaker 3: My heartbeat is at the highest when I'm taking a
Speaker 3: dump at the moment because I had some quite bad
Speaker 3: constipation issues. It's gonna get around one. You get an
Speaker 3: anaerobic workout every time you do. Yeah, it's the it's
Speaker 3: the egg and you know it's the boiled egg and
Speaker 3: spinach what blocks you up.
Speaker 4: Boileding and cheese dyed. Gross.
Speaker 3: So the boiling and cheese dye just to block you up.
Speaker 4: So galler.
Speaker 3: It's not a diet.
Speaker 4: Is it a diet? I'm suggesting it is.
Speaker 3: Okay, So the idea is that you eat nothing but
Speaker 3: boiled eggs and cheese, so you get blocked up, and
Speaker 3: then you get your anaerobic exercise and trying to get
Speaker 3: it out the other end.
Speaker 5: A high protein diet will do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, but you're running the hemorrhoid gauntlet thought. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so it's blowing out your hemorrhoids. That's a real trade
Speaker 3: off moment. That's why you have to get a trainer
Speaker 3: in the bathroom with you.
Speaker 4: When you're doing this.
Speaker 5: You've got to get your rate between nineteen hundred.
Speaker 4: Don't blow it out. Yeah, that's the idea. Back a
Speaker 4: little bit, Ease back a little you're gonna get roids.
Speaker 3: Would you take one single hemorrhoid to drop five killos?
Speaker 3: Right now? How are you to if I could make
Speaker 3: that pack to the devil five gp hemorrhoid, I go
Speaker 3: three hemorrhoids just like that, right now, straight away, I'm
Speaker 3: supposed to be you've had hemorrhoids without the way.
Speaker 5: Okay, how about then? How about three gallstones? How about
Speaker 5: a golstone per five cages?
Speaker 3: What's involved in a gulstone? Is that one of the
Speaker 3: ones you have to piss out?
Speaker 5: You you don't have to piss it out, but I
Speaker 5: mean some people do pass them. Yeah, my spooch had
Speaker 5: that and it was the most painful thing. They or
Speaker 5: they laser them, they stick it.
Speaker 3: But is it painful then two hundred trips to the
Speaker 3: gym and eating?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: No? No, definitely have you person?
Speaker 4: No, I haven't.
Speaker 5: I've known some people who have, and they said it
Speaker 5: is potentially the most painful thing they ever had.
Speaker 3: No paying, no game. So what are you offering five
Speaker 3: kilos for a gullstone? How much about loss? You offering me? Ah?
Speaker 3: Will you give me ten? Yep?
Speaker 5: I take it for ten, but there needs to be
Speaker 5: the size of a marble.
Speaker 3: No. Have you read much about quantum quantum data storage? No?
Speaker 4: I sure haven't.
Speaker 3: I mean I can't just looking looking ways of storing
Speaker 3: information and rendering and essentially like this is making it
Speaker 3: less complex. Another dimension? Let me go, if you could
Speaker 3: just have your dimension yeah, I want to unload it
Speaker 3: on another version of myself and another dimension. There to
Speaker 3: be quite good quantum fat storage.
Speaker 4: Quantum fat storage.
Speaker 3: So mania and the green mania on Earth three six five.
Speaker 3: Hang on a minute, am I someone else's quantum fat storage?
Speaker 3: What's happening? Somewhere out there is a rip ripped and
Speaker 3: a ripped mad heat that they're just going I just
Speaker 3: can't put the weight on.
Speaker 4: I can't put it on.
Speaker 3: Turns that you've got quantum fat storage in this particular dementia.
Speaker 1: I'm over here busting my and no results. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean drinking quite a bit as well. So somewhere there's
Speaker 1: a fat Andrew Dickens.
Speaker 5: Andrew Dickens is gonna be huge, huge.
Speaker 1: There's a Jack Jerry Browny out there. I like the
Speaker 1: I had one of those Apple Watches for a while.
Speaker 1: I was running the old Apple Watch, but I had
Speaker 1: to get rid of it because there's just another thing
Speaker 1: that wants your attention. It's like you get a text
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, your phone goes, your lapsop goes.
Speaker 3: The fucking light stuff blinking in the.
Speaker 4: Disaster when you're trying to broadcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you can't you can't turn all
Speaker 3: of it off, and it's a stress meta, but it
Speaker 3: would give you the little notifications because it would miss
Speaker 3: your steps and all that. Yeah, it'd be like you'd
Speaker 3: close your exercise ring. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And the only time I ever closed the exercise ring, genuinely,
Speaker 1: I was lifting up a beer bottle and it was like, congratulations,
Speaker 1: You've just done your exercise of the day. There's another
Speaker 1: one that they give you, like mindfulness. It's like, go
Speaker 1: and take five deep breaths or even and you breathe
Speaker 1: along with it. Yeah, breath along with it. I did that.
Speaker 1: It's a great work. You know, you've done five minutes
Speaker 1: of breathing whatever.
Speaker 3: I was having a darry and it recorded there, just
Speaker 3: blowing it right back into the face of the watch.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what. Closing your rings, well, your exercise
Speaker 3: rings would be a good name for that. Che building
Speaker 3: and cheese style talking. Before there'd be the exercise ring. Die,
Speaker 3: open your ring, open your ring, open your exercise ring,
Speaker 3: all right. Dumper size, Yeah, let's consta size.
Speaker 4: Because you're going to go to the toilet anywhere. Yeah,
Speaker 4: most well be blocked up.
Speaker 5: Well, that's why all through Asia they have to squat
Speaker 5: that's why they've got such great core strength, right they
Speaker 5: have to they You know, if you're in the toilet
Speaker 5: for twenty minutes, you're squating for two lazy toilets.
Speaker 3: Oh so lazy. We're just sitting down.
Speaker 5: We just squashed there, just squashed our cheek.
Speaker 4: It's hutched over on their phones.
Speaker 3: We gentrified the toilets watching Joe Shaker just put up
Speaker 3: the highest score on defense ever in a game of
Speaker 3: Fantasy football and beat me. See that's that's our problem. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's right. Oh you could do that squatting though, if
Speaker 3: you had a deep enough squat.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But I mean you'd be actually getting healthier by squatting.
Speaker 3: If you're on your phone for as long as I
Speaker 3: am on the toilet and you're squating, yeah, you're actually
Speaker 3: be doing some good o. Your core would be outstanding. Well,
Speaker 3: that's yeah.
Speaker 1: I know some people who have got in fact, Joe Jurry,
Speaker 1: I believe he's probably gonna hate me saying this, but
Speaker 1: I believe he's got the stirrups in the bathroom where
Speaker 1: he can put his feet up on the on like blocks,
Speaker 1: so he's in a squatting position. Well for giving birth
Speaker 1: like a birthing sweet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think it puts you in a more
Speaker 3: ergonomic position.
Speaker 5: I don't know if the stirrups on your back.
Speaker 3: I think he's not in his back, he said. I
Speaker 3: think it's actually more like he got himself on a
Speaker 3: birth care for two days after a ship, gets made
Speaker 3: toasties and gets given milo's.
Speaker 4: We all seen the flowers.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, kJ can stay with him on the
Speaker 3: first night.
Speaker 4: Have you named it yet? Baptized?
Speaker 3: He won't love that, You're right, No, I don't think
Speaker 3: he will love it.
Speaker 1: But you know, he didn't have the birth care with
Speaker 1: him when we were overseas and we were sharing a
Speaker 1: room for about a week. And I've said it before,
Speaker 1: but I walked into the bathroom and I heard the
Speaker 1: toilet whimper.
Speaker 4: Were you rubbing his shoulders or anything?
Speaker 3: Looking on like every new handle play of music, give them.
Speaker 1: Some nitress, every new hotel room which check into you
Speaker 1: can you walk into the bathroom and the toilet bowls
Speaker 1: just cowered in the corner.
Speaker 3: I can't. And that's what's I think it's illegal now
Speaker 3: for Joe Jury and Gelane to share it. Yeah, it
Speaker 3: is all right. Let's take a quick break we'll come
Speaker 3: right back.
Speaker 1: We're talking yesterday about the permutations of the World Test
Speaker 1: Championship Fellas, they've taken a hit.
Speaker 3: The chances of us.
Speaker 1: Winning it, which were already very slim, have just gotten
Speaker 1: so much worse because we got hit docked points for
Speaker 1: a slow over rate in that first game in christ.
Speaker 3: I've I've got to do we care about slow over
Speaker 3: rates and test matches?
Speaker 5: Well, it only went four days, I know, this is
Speaker 5: what and Ben Stokes even put a post out saying
Speaker 5: this test mets was finished with ten hours to spare it.
Speaker 3: Thanks ic C.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like, I think a bigger is that they don't start
Speaker 3: at nine am in the morning. Yeah yeah, I mean
Speaker 3: you're already pissing around to eleven am. I mean the
Speaker 3: working day starts at nine. Yeah, and then we always
Speaker 3: get this problem at the end of the day with light. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like sort that problemly out before the slow overrating
Speaker 3: and test matches. I mean, when was the last Test
Speaker 3: match that went to the end of day five?
Speaker 5: Yeah, there was that one against England. We Yeah, it
Speaker 5: doesn't even last, No, it doesn't. I can't remember the
Speaker 5: last time. And if it wasn't affected by weather, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: I can understand why they're doing it because obviously.
Speaker 4: I get it into the twenties and I get it
Speaker 4: an odio ice.
Speaker 5: It does need to be a line though, otherwise some
Speaker 5: times will go in bove thirty overs in a day,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. There needs to be a standard.
Speaker 5: But when a Test match is so advanced like that,
Speaker 5: surely there should be.
Speaker 3: It should kick in. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 3: when we would to kick in. I don't know.
Speaker 1: If the game goes the distance, then you look back
Speaker 1: and reinforce it, like how did we get to this point?
Speaker 4: I think?
Speaker 1: But like like old Stokes said, if it didn't go
Speaker 1: the distance, it shouldn't be enforced. Yeah, because you're right
Speaker 1: about the nine a m. Thing, Because when we flew
Speaker 1: out of christ Church on the day of the Test
Speaker 1: match last week, everyone was queued up about eight o'clock
Speaker 1: in the morning.
Speaker 5: The Hondies where Hondies were there, out and out in force,
Speaker 5: because Test matches is built for cricket hondies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, by heard.
Speaker 3: Outs, they just start at nine. It's crazy start interesting
Speaker 3: part of the ten.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's eleven.
Speaker 3: What is eleven?
Speaker 4: It's basically lunchtime?
Speaker 3: Yes, and you're starting on brunch and then very soon
Speaker 3: afterwards you have lunch.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it gets and later in the season, and
Speaker 5: in early seasons it gets quite cold.
Speaker 3: How about we start at how about we start at
Speaker 3: six am and have a breakfast break instead of lunch. Yeah,
Speaker 3: run a twelve hour like mining shift. You do it
Speaker 3: like the Singaporean John to run the works department. Get
Speaker 3: three shifts, three different multiple teams playing three shifts. You get.
Speaker 5: You can get a Test match over in two and
Speaker 5: a half days.
Speaker 3: We could run concurrent.
Speaker 1: You could have a World Test Championship in like a
Speaker 1: month if you play we played for twelve hours in
Speaker 1: the other game place for twelve hours and we come
Speaker 1: back on.
Speaker 3: You've got two Test matches running concurrently.
Speaker 4: I see what you're saying. You could have three.
Speaker 5: Because yeah, eight hours eight hours freaking current.
Speaker 3: So you know, England and New Zealand go off, and
Speaker 3: then Australia and India to come on and use the
Speaker 3: same wicket for eight hours. Yeah, and South Africa come over,
Speaker 3: come on and smash stri Lanka and a massively advanced
Speaker 3: wicket in the early You.
Speaker 5: Don't want to be betting last on that one.
Speaker 3: Could that be coupled a better glass after three Test matches.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's eight. I can't even know the methods earlier.
Speaker 1: What I don't log about this is they've been fine
Speaker 1: fifteen the match fece. I thought the captain got fired
Speaker 1: for a slow over eight, But I'm reading that that
Speaker 1: looks to me like the whole team got fired.
Speaker 4: Yeah you know, you're.
Speaker 3: Fielding on the fucking boundary, you know, Yeah, yeah, fielding
Speaker 3: down a fine deep, fine leg. You're not bowling. You're
Speaker 3: getting the fifteen percent match, right, It's like, yeah, what
Speaker 3: was I supposed to do?
Speaker 5: Admittedly it was quite slow, like play went to six
Speaker 5: thirty every day, because that's the maximum time. It's either
Speaker 5: ninety overs in the day or six thirty or start earlier. Yeah, yeah, totally,
Speaker 5: And it goes six thirty every time, and that only
Speaker 5: I think the maximum that bowl was like eighty one
Speaker 5: or eighty two.
Speaker 3: So right, Okay, so they were flouting the rules a
Speaker 3: little bit.
Speaker 5: They were a little bit, and but I think they
Speaker 5: all knew that this game was so advanced didn't matter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But the problem is it depends wildly on what
Speaker 3: kind of wick that you're working on. So if it's
Speaker 3: suddenly incredibly spin friendly. Then you just whiped through the overs, right.
Speaker 5: That's why in India it's I don't think it's really
Speaker 5: an issue sometimes in India, Yeah, because.
Speaker 3: Everyone's got a steam in from the boundary, like in
Speaker 3: New Zealand, especially zeal in England that's the same. It's
Speaker 3: seem as you should be find if they've being left
Speaker 3: handed and right handed batsman as well, havn't just changed
Speaker 3: the field, Yeah, adding too many boundaries.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's at one hundred and one hundred and thirty
Speaker 5: one sixes in tes.
Speaker 4: He's slowing the plate. Yeah, let's go and get the ball. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that's right.
Speaker 3: It was a man who heard it out of the ground,
Speaker 3: was it, Pope? Yeah, someone hit it literally out of
Speaker 3: the ground. Find them fine, what a fucking delay of
Speaker 3: game that is. There's too many variables just being just
Speaker 3: to field it. And also ferrals, Yeah, the ferals go
Speaker 3: for find them. You can find the find the DRS guy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: find the guy on the foot that takes ages rocket
Speaker 3: and rolling every every rock and roll you get a
Speaker 3: fifteen fifteen percent Yeah, yeah, for the for the Yeah,
Speaker 3: for the time. Converting the duck with Lewis system, everything well,
Speaker 3: what I've always wondered with sporting fines like this, when
Speaker 3: you see an athlete, find where does the money go?
Speaker 4: Who gets that?
Speaker 5: That's a good, great question I always asked.
Speaker 3: I always wondered the concrete billionaire.
Speaker 5: Yeah, does it go to the ic C?
Speaker 3: I don't know do they need it? What do they
Speaker 3: need that money for? You know?
Speaker 5: Yeah, it seems I mean that's always a bit arbitrary
Speaker 5: that the fine. So I always wonder that in rugby
Speaker 5: as well, with all discipline or whatever, your dog get fine.
Speaker 3: And guarantee grassroots rugby or grassroots cracket. That guarantee grassroots
Speaker 3: getting over.
Speaker 5: It goes to wash white washes the white washing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to pay everything. That's how you can keep white
Speaker 3: wash off the box. Yeah, it's they plaid from fine.
Speaker 5: Here's question, go to this website, this money.
Speaker 1: You go on a payment plan. Here's a question that's
Speaker 1: just sprung to my mind. If Trent Bolt was on
Speaker 1: our team, would we have done better than that?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 4: Would we have one? Yes?
Speaker 5: Because we had no left armor and we just needed
Speaker 5: to change it up.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, isn't the elephant the room?
Speaker 3: If we'd caught it, caught our catches, we would have
Speaker 3: probably won, Yes, definitely.
Speaker 4: Well, it would have been at least even.
Speaker 3: But I did.
Speaker 5: I did find it our bowling, you know, it's just
Speaker 5: right arm over.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: The only the only big variable was panich O Rourke
Speaker 5: who came in from a bit taller and got a
Speaker 5: bit more bounce. But it would have been good to
Speaker 5: just mix it up with yeah, with lovely trinity every now.
Speaker 3: Hasn't he? Yeah, And I only noticed it on like
Speaker 3: day two when I was looking at the footmarks and
Speaker 3: the perch and I was like, oh, we don't have
Speaker 3: a left hander. They are only on one side of
Speaker 3: the worker only. But I don't even do the old
Speaker 3: wags to just throw some chaos into the mat. Stillway,
Speaker 3: still playing first class Crewe though in good shape, still
Speaker 3: playing for and D Yeah. I mean those were the
Speaker 3: golden areas, Golden era, wasn't it. We had lovely twenty
Speaker 3: and a sixty cameral. Just remember we used to go
Speaker 3: can't wait. You know you guys are doing well Wait
Speaker 3: wait you see wait, wait to see how it can
Speaker 3: change Jamerson.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the speaking of Trent Bolt, the highest paid sporting
Speaker 1: people in New Zealand have been announced. This is something
Speaker 1: that the hero do every year. Look Kirkness, dear friend
Speaker 1: of the show, has compiled this. I've got the list
Speaker 1: there for you. I'll run them by you. Aaron Rutliffe
Speaker 1: Rootliffe estimated earnings two point two million dollars.
Speaker 5: She's in at number ten doubles tennis player. Yep, it's good.
Speaker 1: Trent Bolt means cricket player. He has earned two and
Speaker 1: a half million dollars.
Speaker 4: He should be paid more than that.
Speaker 5: I think this doesn't count his current two million dollar deal.
Speaker 4: No, I don't think it does.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 1: I think the earnings were calculated before the I play,
Speaker 1: so basically double that, which would to him up this list.
Speaker 3: But that's not bad. I mean five million to go
Speaker 3: play cricket.
Speaker 1: Why the hell would why the hell would he sign
Speaker 1: up to play a Test match's going to take so
Speaker 1: long and they get fucking fine and then.
Speaker 3: Every catch that's put up you drop gets dropped.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, that's just killing your stats. Scott Dixon
Speaker 1: is just Inetrimp Bolt. This is not bear in mind market.
Speaker 5: At the endorsement, okay, because I think Scott Dixon would
Speaker 5: be ten times that.
Speaker 3: He's got on his one screen. He's making a bit
Speaker 3: of cash.
Speaker 5: But Also, if that's just straight earnings, you have to
Speaker 5: pay me more than that for what they do. We
Speaker 5: cand week out on an indie cat track.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like I don't know. I drove to work. If you.
Speaker 3: Driving just about every week, have you seen the roads
Speaker 3: out there? Man, I could do tyrend Yeah, steering wheel stock?
Speaker 4: What a that thing? Oh yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 3: So that's an interesting story because it sounds like they
Speaker 3: were getting shitty with the guy on front and you
Speaker 3: know in you know, pushing it a little bit. Got
Speaker 3: to be really careful. I was thinking about that. Might
Speaker 3: talk about on news talks. He'd be this afternoon. You
Speaker 3: gotta be careful how much you push strangers, considering the
Speaker 3: percentage of people that might be on myth in the
Speaker 3: car running it. Yea. Yeah, when you're a boomer and
Speaker 3: you just whip the bird out and start abusing people,
Speaker 3: got to be it's a.
Speaker 4: Risky thing to do.
Speaker 5: You're going to put the bird away. I mean I'm
Speaker 5: a big fan of the doing the bird under the window. Yeah,
Speaker 5: like your own, like my own system, say, you know,
Speaker 5: just below the windows, finger yourself, just go like that
Speaker 5: and then that's all you need to do.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's like when I often write emails abusing people and
Speaker 5: then I delete it.
Speaker 3: That's what a Blincoln, didn't they When he died, they
Speaker 3: found hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of abusive leaders that.
Speaker 4: He had written.
Speaker 3: Should never freed you guys?
Speaker 4: Ye all to XL.
Speaker 3: Ryan Fox number seven on the estimated earnings less three
Speaker 3: point one mill I think he's one about eleven million
Speaker 3: dollars over the last couple of years.
Speaker 5: But from the sounds of very expensive to be a golfer.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, you've got to. I mean, people don't know
Speaker 5: unless you are the best. Yeah, evening, it's kind of covered.
Speaker 5: It's kind of one of those things where you've got
Speaker 5: to earn your stripes. See, you pay for your own flights, accommodation, transfers, everything.
Speaker 1: And the other thing is if you're but the places
Speaker 1: he has to fly to so far away, you can't
Speaker 1: be sitting in cattle class then hop out and be
Speaker 1: expected to win, you know, play for your pay check.
Speaker 5: You have to go first class to be able to sleep.
Speaker 5: So and hes to the players. They share private jets,
Speaker 5: you see, and full swing and stuff. If you're tied
Speaker 5: with two or three other players, you just will chatter
Speaker 5: a private jet together.
Speaker 3: That's pretty much how they do it. They roll.
Speaker 1: Steven Elkers edged him. He's got four point one mill,
Speaker 1: that's number six.
Speaker 5: There is a retirement fund. Just hitt into your retirement.
Speaker 5: Just cheeky four meal, that's absurd.
Speaker 1: Joseph Parker has earned five point three million dollars this year.
Speaker 1: Apparently had a big payday against Deontay Wilder last year.
Speaker 1: That's not too bad. Five mel still lives out in
Speaker 1: South Orklan. I think his neighbors with Roger toy Bus ashere.
Speaker 5: I don't think he even haven't even done much this year,
Speaker 5: doesn't seem like it.
Speaker 3: No big win against Waili Jiang's his name, big bang Jang,
Speaker 3: big banger. And then he's got another one actually not
Speaker 3: Febrary and Saudi.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Danny Lee has also earned himself five million dollars. That
Speaker 1: puts him at number four and leads to the co
Speaker 1: has won six point three million this year and what
Speaker 1: was by all accounts and historic.
Speaker 4: Year for her.
Speaker 5: The vibe I'm getting here is I'm getting my kids
Speaker 5: into golf.
Speaker 3: Yes, because there's a lot.
Speaker 5: Of money to be made. I mean, even look at.
Speaker 3: The emgery and that there's a lot of money to
Speaker 3: be lost playing golf. Oh yeah yeah, and that's a
Speaker 3: yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So let's the co six
Speaker 3: point three mil again. This is not marketing endorsements or
Speaker 3: marrying into the ear to her.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah you throw.
Speaker 3: She's got another billion dollars on top of that kan
Speaker 3: Tech billionaire. That's right.
Speaker 1: Chris Wood has earned himself eight point nine nine million
Speaker 1: dollars as he should.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, but I mean it was like the Premiers
Speaker 3: Player of the month. I mean that's sane.
Speaker 4: Yeah, ky we.
Speaker 3: I don't think he's leading the EPL goal scoring.
Speaker 1: I think he might be like third, but he is
Speaker 1: like right up there is heaven an historic run and
Speaker 1: Steven Adams once again tops the charts so far winty
Speaker 1: one million dollars.
Speaker 5: That's not including endorsements either. No, and it's fresh is
Speaker 5: it meadow fresh? He's pushing at the main milk.
Speaker 3: It's not including the New Zealand safety ad. Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: Andrew Mulligan have to say it. It's a real reach.
Speaker 3: So there's some others in there. Rich In Wanga two
Speaker 3: point two million, yep, j Mack. If we want to
Speaker 3: get him back, do we have to cough up two
Speaker 3: point two million dollars to get play for you much.
Speaker 5: Pretty much, because that's why they're trying to lure him back.
Speaker 5: And if I was rich, he live for.
Speaker 3: Your country for three hundred and twenty thousand a year.
Speaker 3: He goes, I have I have mate, and you kept on,
Speaker 3: you kept on like jerking me off with me and body. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 5: It's like I'm okay smashing sushi and.
Speaker 3: Earning a couple of mill I've had a gloup Scott
Speaker 3: McLoughlin one point sixty nine million dollars.
Speaker 1: Lu Luson one point three Stephen lu Tour is making
Speaker 1: one point three million dollars a year playing in France
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 3: Presume he is, Yeah, where Israel? ALISONA, That's it's a
Speaker 3: hard way in one point two million, it is. I
Speaker 3: thought that as well when I saw that the UFC,
Speaker 3: they get screwed those guys. But I mean there's probably
Speaker 3: some endorsement money outside that. There is, I'd say, but
Speaker 3: they don't. I mean they don't get their boxing paydays.
Speaker 3: I mean he is infinitely bigger star than Joseph Parker.
Speaker 3: And yeah, look globally, if you know one, hardly anyone
Speaker 3: in the miracle wud know who Joseph Parker has blessed them,
Speaker 3: go feel very proud of them, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 3: But compared to how many people know who Israel Alisaga,
Speaker 3: he's a big star.
Speaker 5: I think I think you could say that about Israel
Speaker 5: Adisagna with all of those top ten. Yeah, yes, like
Speaker 5: even Steven Adams to a degree, I reckon, yeah, that'd
Speaker 5: be very close.
Speaker 4: Globally.
Speaker 3: I think it might be easy because Steven Adams, you know,
Speaker 3: goes from team to team whatever. But but you know,
Speaker 3: when you when you're just in the middle of the
Speaker 3: ring and the octagon, everyone's looking at you. There's so
Speaker 3: much hoping building up. So you see Stephen Adams wasn't
Speaker 3: on the Joe Rogan podcast no so yeah, no so yeah.
Speaker 3: So he's pretty hard done by. And in meanwhile, he's
Speaker 3: having a here buddy scraps.
Speaker 4: On K Road outside of McLaren.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right over with Barbie with Glass Barbie enthusiast.
Speaker 1: He's still scrapping out for no Cash on K Road,
Speaker 1: which leads me to my next question. For those price tags,
Speaker 1: which career would you take? So obviously Steven Adams is
Speaker 1: making twenty one mil, but can you be asked playing basketball.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously that's the one I'd go for, a
Speaker 1: like playing basketball. Are we saying a lot of basketball though?
Speaker 1: Are we saying we've got the ability? Sayability? Okay, and
Speaker 1: you just have that career, which one would you which
Speaker 1: one would you go for?
Speaker 3: I'm look, it's between I'm going to go where I'm
Speaker 3: not getting punched right in the face.
Speaker 5: I'm not doing I'm not doing the fighting ones. I'm
Speaker 5: not I'm not and I'm not driving.
Speaker 3: Real fast either. So Lee's golf in cricket, yeah, I'd
Speaker 3: be lydi your co Yeah, in every way if I
Speaker 3: can do a body swap.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Ah, look, I'm I'm really torn because I'd love to
Speaker 5: be Trent Bolt yeah and play the game that I love.
Speaker 5: But then then again, I'd love to travel the world
Speaker 5: playing mean golf courses like Ryan Fox and Steven Elka.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And also I'd love to have a whole crowd singing
Speaker 5: for me with Chris Wood in the EPL and but
Speaker 5: then epls that's very very England.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to go the tremp Bolt. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: you're going to go to Trent Bolty. Interesting that Peter
Speaker 3: building and Blearchruck aren't even on the record. They're at
Speaker 3: the other end.
Speaker 5: It's because they so much doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: And there's no reports on none of their Yeah, you're right,
Speaker 1: it will be so much. Also, they'll have very crowdive accountants.
Speaker 1: Where do they live technically in New Zealand, I guess
Speaker 1: probably Bermuda. Yeah, so there's no reporting on how much
Speaker 1: money they've made.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so we don't know.
Speaker 5: They're pretty clever with that because it's privately owned. They Tween,
Speaker 5: they own that Black Foils team, those two. They founded
Speaker 5: a Live Ocean that charity of trust, so there's a bit.
Speaker 4: Of stuff going on there.
Speaker 3: I think tremp Bolt's a pretty good deal because if
Speaker 3: you're mainly just playing twenty cricket, yeah, you're only bowling
Speaker 3: four overs.
Speaker 5: He is playing a T ten competition. I talked to
Speaker 5: him and I was like, T ten, so you bowl
Speaker 5: you bowl twelve deliveries and he goes yep, And I
Speaker 5: was like much you're getting paid?
Speaker 4: That's what I said.
Speaker 5: I said, have you worked out the purble? And before
Speaker 5: I even finished the sentence, he.
Speaker 3: Goes, oh, yeah, that's quite good because he's bowled so
Speaker 3: many hundreds of thousands of deliveries and the nets and stuff,
Speaker 3: and suddenly he goes out bowl's twelve deliveries for for
Speaker 3: whatever money.
Speaker 5: Yep, a lot of appreciated on those twelve deliveries. That
Speaker 5: means you've got a bowl. But he's playing a lot
Speaker 5: of golf.
Speaker 3: He's not getting paid for, so he's probably playing as
Speaker 3: much golf as Ryan Fox. You're getting played for the cricket.
Speaker 3: But if you had one ball that you've been working on,
Speaker 3: some sort of wild variation that you've never unleashed, that's
Speaker 3: your opportunity to do it and be paid fifty grand
Speaker 3: for that. Yeah, for that was getting this. At one
Speaker 3: point he was getting paid eleven and a half thousand
Speaker 3: American per pitch.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, have you seen I saw a video
Speaker 1: the other day where there were different people like Lebron James'
Speaker 1: in this and there was like shaking hands with Jay
Speaker 1: Z or something. They had over the top of their
Speaker 1: head superimposed a ticker of how much money they were
Speaker 1: earning passively as they were just walking around shaking hands.
Speaker 4: It was outrageous.
Speaker 1: They did some poor punted, dirty boy, but he's not
Speaker 1: making anything down.
Speaker 3: Yeah, guy's mortgage payment for killing hi. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 3: lost as he has done as us punting on that game.
Speaker 4: All right, let's take quick break.
Speaker 3: We'll come back.
Speaker 1: I've got a hypothetical question or on a run past you,
Speaker 1: I just before we knock this thing on the head today, fellas,
Speaker 1: I like to get dust off the old hypothetical. Maybe
Speaker 1: we used to do the old Sunday scenarios. Yeah, he's
Speaker 1: a here's a Sunday scenario for you. On a Wednesday.
Speaker 1: Five hundred million dollars will be paid to you if
Speaker 1: you can survive from the year eighteen hundred to the
Speaker 1: present day. The condition is you are teleported to a
Speaker 1: random spot in a major European city in the year
Speaker 1: eighteen hundred, and you have to manage to survive to
Speaker 1: the present day. You're granted biological immortality for the period
Speaker 1: of this time, which means you do not age, but
Speaker 1: you are still susceptible to whatever viruses and germs and stuff.
Speaker 5: So just five hundred million dollars in today's money, yeah,
Speaker 5: or when you land the equivalent of no, today's today's turn.
Speaker 3: So turn in twenty four years, Yeah, turn twenty four
Speaker 3: years your own age. Yeah, so you've only your own Okay,
Speaker 3: you want to you want to avoid this and key areas.
Speaker 3: You want to avoid World war I mean, if you've
Speaker 3: got any not knowledge, are you blustered back there with
Speaker 3: the historical knowledge?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's you, it's us.
Speaker 3: You know what's coming now, you know what's coming, So
Speaker 3: you want to be You don't want to stay away
Speaker 3: from sort of areas of mess satanic panics. You want
Speaker 3: to You've got a better coin now so you can
Speaker 3: build your own armies and you know where the oilers. No,
Speaker 3: but you don't get the five hundred mil you get
Speaker 3: to today, and no bank's going to lend you on
Speaker 3: that because they're not gonna believe you.
Speaker 5: No, I'm so I'm landing. I'm landing in eighteen hundred
Speaker 5: with no money. Yeah, just knowledge with the deck in
Speaker 5: your hand. And also Thomas that we have no knowledge.
Speaker 3: We think we'd go back there and we'd go, oh,
Speaker 3: we've got so much knowledge for the future. We'd go
Speaker 3: back there and go we've got iPhones. It's like, can
Speaker 3: you build one?
Speaker 4: No electricity ad has worked?
Speaker 3: Fuck, I don't know.
Speaker 4: We could.
Speaker 3: We could look into these screens and watch sport from
Speaker 3: around the world. Can we can we prepare for the teleportation.
Speaker 3: We would we'd be we'd be the shittest, but we
Speaker 3: think we'd go back there and have an advantage. We'd
Speaker 3: be the shittest person in eighteen hundred. I've just been
Speaker 3: watching to make myself feel better about my life. I
Speaker 3: sometimes watch these these YouTube channels on how people lived
Speaker 3: in the old days. Yeah, fucking rough. Oh yeah, fucking
Speaker 3: like so rough. The fact that the human species is
Speaker 3: still around after basically you were doing well if you
Speaker 3: were sleeping in a room with an open fire with
Speaker 3: twenty picks to keep your warm. Yeah, and they knew
Speaker 3: what they were up to, so you basically working all
Speaker 3: day just to survive, you know, So would you be
Speaker 3: over everything by once you get five hundred million dollars
Speaker 3: to be like, well, fuck that, this this sucked.
Speaker 4: I'm fucking bored of everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I saw the Beatles ten times a live.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that'd be my problem is I would yeah, boredom.
Speaker 4: I like the Highlander.
Speaker 1: I'd do myself in before I got two hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty four years, and you know, i'd probably do about
Speaker 1: twenty years. I get to about eighteen twenty. Fuck really,
Speaker 1: I got another hundred years before even nineteen twenty and
Speaker 1: that's still shit if.
Speaker 3: We're eighty years as a handsome cab cab driver in
Speaker 3: London being chased around by Jack the Ripper, like I'm
Speaker 3: fucking I'm out.
Speaker 5: I do I you could rephrase it around to like
Speaker 5: if it was like ten million and you got taken
Speaker 5: back to has this happened in nineteen the Ripper at
Speaker 5: nineteen seventy eight, Like somewhere with this, I can start
Speaker 5: sports gambling.
Speaker 3: Ah, yeah, that'd be quite good if you, like, say
Speaker 3: an an Almanac situation. Yeah, like I'm back to the
Speaker 3: future situation. But I mean that'll be years before you
Speaker 3: knew any sporting results. Yeah, right through the eighteen hours laugh.
Speaker 4: Fuck, I know I can't.
Speaker 3: It'd be nineteen fifty two at Eaton Park before I
Speaker 3: knew sporting.
Speaker 5: For me to be like England winning winning the World
Speaker 5: Cup at ninety yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Win in World Cup one hundred and sixty six years.
Speaker 3: It's just gotta got to wait out cave. But I
Speaker 3: mean you could do things like it'd be a while.
Speaker 3: Would your buddy up to Napoleon? I don't know, like yeah,
Speaker 3: people that were going into power. I mean it depends
Speaker 3: how much of a peasant where you were whether you
Speaker 3: could even get close enough to buddy up to people.
Speaker 3: But you know, when it gets to things like going
Speaker 3: to the apple when it's starting up, you'd go get
Speaker 3: a jobs, any job, anything you'd done around the house
Speaker 3: around the nineties really start to come into your.
Speaker 5: I think you before that, actually you don't need because
Speaker 5: youre already gonna get five on a million dollars.
Speaker 3: All you're doing is trying to survive.
Speaker 5: But yeah, but you'll get more your media, make more money.
Speaker 5: All I'm saying is you're going to be burned at
Speaker 5: the stake I reckon within ten years, because you'll arrived,
Speaker 5: you'll say, with no knowledge, but enough to raise suspicions.
Speaker 3: I've got your New York Next T shirt on there,
Speaker 3: like yeah, yeah, it was the buckles burning.
Speaker 5: Like You'll be talking about something and they'll be like, yeah, which, yeah, you.
Speaker 3: So I saw this thing about how quickly back in
Speaker 3: time we can't talk to anyone in English even Oh really,
Speaker 3: how far is it? I think I think you wouldn't
Speaker 3: be able to probably talk to Shakespeare. You'd struggle to
Speaker 3: talk to Shakespeare, liketeen hundreds, yeah, h so eighteen hundred
Speaker 3: you would talk fucking weird. I didn't. I mean English
Speaker 3: people struggled to understand us sometimes.
Speaker 5: Now, Yeah, you could kill some good people though, you
Speaker 5: could get baby Hitler and strangle him.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'd be rough being here, I reckon in New Zealand. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because because you'd be going up against some pretty powerful
Speaker 3: warriors that would were to live that long and not
Speaker 3: fuck someone off. What you mean here in New Zealand? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: because you because an issue, were from a pretty strong tribe. Yeah,
Speaker 3: you're just so yeah, well, but you tune up and
Speaker 3: then you go, hey, no, honestly, don't don't it. Don't
Speaker 3: sign it, don't sign it.
Speaker 4: They're not going to fucking honor it. But you're still
Speaker 4: going to wait. So that's forty two years of you
Speaker 4: saying that.
Speaker 3: So you're just walking around and ring around fucking people
Speaker 3: lost saying that, and you get killed on the crazy
Speaker 3: guy on the side of the street with the side
Speaker 3: yeah warning, Yeah it is near.
Speaker 1: Look, my biggest issue is like the boredom of two
Speaker 1: hundred years of living would just do me? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think I could.
Speaker 3: I see some of my mates that are in their
Speaker 3: fifties now, they're fucking bored. I can't go to concerts
Speaker 3: or anything, you know, even sports, even sports not doing
Speaker 3: it for the manymore they'll laugh. Fuck, I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's see.
Speaker 5: That's when they start tuning into polkinhorns though, isn't it. Yeah,
Speaker 5: And that's not doing it. Basically, you turn to other things.
Speaker 3: You gotta get on the myth and yeah at a
Speaker 3: late stage myth.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 3: So no, none of us think we could do it
Speaker 3: in that way. No, No, I probably wouldn't make it
Speaker 3: to eighteen oh five. I don't think that. I don't
Speaker 3: think the five hundred millions either, because now and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's what I mean, you'd have seen everything and the
Speaker 3: five hundred millions of what you do now, I get
Speaker 3: a nice house. It's like I've seen yeah, some ship.
Speaker 3: I've got psc TSD like like you would not fucking
Speaker 3: believe the ship off seemed to get here. I cannot
Speaker 3: enjoy anything. You'll just get your five hundred million to
Speaker 3: just hid outed your beard.
Speaker 4: With a shotgun.
Speaker 3: That deployed me to the fucking boar war.
Speaker 4: I thought the crimean war.
Speaker 3: I'vet him three crime in Oh my god, Janah bark.
Speaker 5: Yeah, all the guys at the pub, just like what
Speaker 5: I've been to live for two hundred years.
Speaker 3: Cool cops. People see you just sending them of a
Speaker 3: pub drinking beer and the guy looks like you've seen
Speaker 3: some ship.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Also, if you end up in like France, you just
Speaker 3: get guillotine for the just because you went through. You're
Speaker 3: in the wrong place at the wrong time. You're there
Speaker 3: for the buddy revolution. But where are you from. I'm
Speaker 3: from New Zealand. We're just gonna have glatine because I
Speaker 3: don't know, we can't, we can't figure you out then
Speaker 3: seeing posh, we're just gonna guillotine you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, so none of us freaking we can
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 1: Lets know what you think on the old voicemail and
Speaker 1: we'll knock this thing on the head. We'll see you
Speaker 1: tomorrow for another episode of the Gender Podcast Live from Wellington.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we live from the basin. Yeah, you're called them
Speaker 3: the game from down the Are you just doing a
Speaker 3: drive by day? We're not adding the grounds, you know that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I know that. That's part of the reason we're not
Speaker 3: allowing there.
Speaker 1: So another pointless drive by from the a SEC tomorrow
Speaker 1: at the basin turning of the podcast.
Speaker 3: Why would you stick around to watch the cave.
Speaker 2: You've been listening to. The ACC's a gender podcast brought
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