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Speaker 1: This Gentleman Being podcast brought to you by Hello Fresh,

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Speaker 1: the Experts and Tastes that Kiwis Love.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Welcome to this very special podcast. This is Johnny,

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Speaker 2: Ben and Meghan here. We are talking mental health Mental

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Speaker 2: Health Awareness week let.

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Speaker 1: Speak weekend in New Zealand. We've covered it a little

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Speaker 1: bit on the radio this week, which you know, it's

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Speaker 1: been great talking to people like Die Henwood Jas Thornton

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Speaker 1: as well about their mental health journey and some tips

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Speaker 1: as well. But we just thought, well, hey, should we

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Speaker 1: jump on. There's no real agenda for this podcast. I

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Speaker 1: guess the agenda I didn't get that either, but it

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Speaker 1: was probably just to had chance to have a chat.

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Speaker 1: And if you're hearing it now, it means we thought

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Speaker 1: it was good enough to put out as a podcast

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Speaker 1: and if not, it doesn't it might not be a podcast. No,

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Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you. I'm fifty fifty on this

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Speaker 1: and it was my idea to do it.

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Speaker 3: Fifty.

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Speaker 1: It's fine, we need to talk about it more, but

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Speaker 1: it's not something we generally do as as a show

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Speaker 1: and maybe we should do it more.

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Speaker 3: You know, it doesn't come naturally to us because we're

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Speaker 3: so like, yeah, let's have a lot.

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Speaker 1: And that's not to say mental health it's hugely important,

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Speaker 1: we should talk about it more. But I know it's

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Speaker 1: very hard when you're doing a show every morning, and

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Speaker 1: you're doing a show that's meant to entertain an upbeat.

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Speaker 1: It's a real gear change to have these conversations. And

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Speaker 1: that's why we're doing it in a podcast form.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes it can come across token. You know, there

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Speaker 2: are some wonderful shows out there that do do fantastic

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Speaker 2: things for mental health. Absolutely Morning Rumble one of them,

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Speaker 2: and many years great work with means mental health. And

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Speaker 2: so you don't want to be.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, we're just just to jump on this, yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: because yeah, but it does affect everyone and various forms everyone,

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Speaker 1: whether personally or people they know, often both as well.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's great to have weeks like Mental Health

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Speaker 1: Week where people can talk about this.

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Speaker 3: It's hard for us too, because generally on the radio

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Speaker 3: we are restricted to like a four, four or five

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Speaker 3: minutes at a push, you know, so we might get

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Speaker 3: into a topic and then we're like right, no, coming out.

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Speaker 2: The ouse, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and also the way you are feeling, I find it,

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Speaker 1: you know, necessarily like you can have a bad day.

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Speaker 1: You have days with personally mental health is not great.

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Speaker 1: But you don't want to be that person on the

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Speaker 1: radio where you know you can have those rareal chats

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Speaker 1: from time to time, but you can't have three hours

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Speaker 1: every morning of that. So you put on this mask

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Speaker 1: or you put on this performance. Ba.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's not the most it's not the most enjoyable radio.

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Speaker 2: For we come on with all our problems. She's bloody

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Speaker 2: Betlan today. So all you have to do is pretend

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Speaker 2: to be happy for three minutes at a time. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because everyone has stuff going on in their lives.

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Speaker 1: And everyone will know about pretending to be happy at

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Speaker 1: times and not say you shouldn't be your real self,

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Speaker 1: but everyone will know. I've got to go on to

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Speaker 1: this pick the kittens up, or do this thing, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you have to go, okay, I already feel like

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Speaker 1: doing this now. But I will contend and I will smile,

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Speaker 1: And that's kind of what the radio is sometimes sometimes

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Speaker 1: not all the time, with a lot more fake laugh

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Speaker 1: at that. Yeah, that's true.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I've had those days where you just you're like,

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Speaker 3: I don't feel like laughing and joking ground with everyone today.

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Speaker 3: But then you come in and that can be the

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Speaker 3: best medicine, you know, like having your mates around and

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Speaker 3: having a laughs. At the end of it, you feel

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Speaker 3: a lot better than when you went into it.

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Speaker 2: For me, in life, you have to put on a mask,

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Speaker 2: don't you when you think about it. Yeah, everyone and

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Speaker 2: no one has probably genuinely one hundred percent themselves, even

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Speaker 2: with your partner at times, are you Yeah, I guess,

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Speaker 2: but you know you don't want to be a dearb downer,

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Speaker 2: do you, Yeah, and bring down the vibes of the

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Speaker 2: room if you're feeling in a bad way, so you

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Speaker 2: just put on a mask, and that's probably a large

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Speaker 2: part of the problem.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 3: But it's weird because hearing you say that, I'm like, well,

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Speaker 3: I would want you to tell me, But then if

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Speaker 3: I was feeling like that, I'd be like, well, I

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Speaker 3: don't want to burden John it. Yeah, maybe don't practice

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Speaker 3: what we preach at all. I'm like, well, I would

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Speaker 3: definitely want you to be like, dude, I'm having a

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Speaker 3: shit day, and I'd be like, you know, I'd want

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Speaker 3: to make feel better, But then I would never be like,

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Speaker 3: oh god, I'm saying you know, yeah, you want to.

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Speaker 1: Put that on someone else. Yeah, And sometimes people will

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Speaker 1: ask you how you are and you'll say I'm okay

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Speaker 1: or you know this, things are, but it's real hard

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Speaker 1: to go, well, when do you have that conversation? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you are having some things, So when

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Speaker 1: does that?

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Speaker 3: You know?

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Speaker 1: Because you know this is not gonna be a quick conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is not gonna and you are wary of

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Speaker 2: other people's time. You know, they've probably got a meeting

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Speaker 2: in five minutes or something. When it's the right time

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Speaker 2: to bring it up. I always find it interesting too,

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Speaker 2: because you have everyone gone through it themselves or have

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Speaker 2: friends in their group who have gone through mental health issues.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes you can they can come across being rude

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Speaker 2: or angry, can't They people going through their own struggles,

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Speaker 2: And that's because they're dealing with their own stuff, and

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Speaker 2: probably there's probably a level of frustration there. I know

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Speaker 2: that I've had a couple of friends where you're like, well,

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Speaker 2: I haven't said anything and I've just let them go

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Speaker 2: completely in a downward spiral, and you've gone, oh, they've

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Speaker 2: just been in a really shitty mood and I answering

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Speaker 2: my calls, they're not texting back, they've shut off. And

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Speaker 2: there's times where I've definitely had a friend pass away,

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Speaker 2: took his own life and I should have stepped in

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Speaker 2: multiple times.

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Speaker 3: So the morning, you felt like the warning signs were

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Speaker 3: there for.

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Speaker 2: You years, right, for years, and it was more cheese.

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Speaker 2: It was years ago now, and it was a lot

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Speaker 2: younger too, and you didn't feel like you had It

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Speaker 2: was awkward. It was awkward to bring up and it

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be. Yeah, but there's only speaking truthfully about preaches.

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Speaker 2: And then even after that fact, you're like, we're going

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Speaker 2: to be more over all, I was saying, they've been

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Speaker 2: more open to have more conversations and to be honest, haven't.

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Speaker 1: You know it's hard Yeah, oh yeah. I mean I

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Speaker 1: struggle a lot with my mental health and I don't

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Speaker 1: talk to people about it, you know, and I don't

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Speaker 1: have those people that I kind of do, and you know,

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Speaker 1: and it is a hard thing to bring up, you know,

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Speaker 1: And you do feel for other people that are going

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Speaker 1: through that because I think the thing about mental health

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Speaker 1: is and I've kind of not learned. I'm not an expert,

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Speaker 1: but it doesn't it doesn't matter if you're successful not

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Speaker 1: successful we've got, you know, you have celebrities, they've got

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Speaker 1: millions of dollars like yourself of mental health. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean their mental health is any less you know, important, yeah,

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Speaker 1: than anyone else who's you know, it's a realis it's

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Speaker 1: a real problem around the place.

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Speaker 3: Isn't that weird though, Because like any other thing you

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Speaker 3: go to the doctor for, Like I break my arm,

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Speaker 3: Everyone everyone you know could break their arm. The brain

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Speaker 3: is just another part of your body that has moments

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Speaker 3: where it's not working.

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 3: Why is that? Why does it come with so much stigma?

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't And that's why I guess what this week's about, right, Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Mental health weak? Yeah, yeah, it's.

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Speaker 3: It's It is interesting because I I think I probably

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Speaker 3: struggle with anxiety sometimes. I've had panic attacks and stuff,

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Speaker 3: but I, for whatever reason, have never gone to a

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Speaker 3: doctor or anyone to sort it out, which is probably

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Speaker 3: a huge frustration for my partner. But I like, I

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Speaker 3: like to arrogantly think I control myself better now, like

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Speaker 3: I've gone to therapy, but I've never been medicated or

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Speaker 3: anything like that. And I've never had anyone say, yes,

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Speaker 3: you have anxiety. But I think I know that it is,

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Speaker 3: and I've never I don't know why. I don't know

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Speaker 3: why I've never had the confidence to sort it out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you see as a sign of weakness that

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Speaker 2: a few have to rely on medication or professional help,

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Speaker 2: because going back to my friend, he would refuse to

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Speaker 2: take his medication. Yeah, it's like, I don't feel like

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Speaker 2: I can do this myself.

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Speaker 3: Full disclosure. After my divorce, I was on antidepressants and

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Speaker 3: I didn't like them. They made me feel like really

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Speaker 3: like spacey. Yeah, and I was trying to do radio

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Speaker 3: and I felt like I was real like not myself.

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Speaker 3: So I just went off them cold turkey, which I

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Speaker 3: now know you're not supposed to do.

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Speaker 2: Plus you don't measure, you don't want to become reliant

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Speaker 2: on them. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I had just had my all my own thoughts about it,

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Speaker 3: which was so dumb, and I got the shakes, I

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Speaker 3: had brain zaps, and I like was physically unwell. And

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Speaker 3: I told my boss at the time and he was like,

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Speaker 3: you're not supposed to do that, and he got me

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Speaker 3: extra help, but I like was just I had no

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Speaker 3: idea and I was like, I don't want to do

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Speaker 3: this anymore. So I just went off them. And I've

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Speaker 3: just always been really I don't know, like in my

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Speaker 3: head about all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 1: On the older you get to the the more like

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Speaker 1: I didn't used to worry about things as much as

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Speaker 1: I do now, you know, And there's and there's always

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Speaker 1: reasons why, you you know, like getting arrested at the

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Speaker 1: airport or getting shows canceled or all those things can

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Speaker 1: lead to the way you are now. There's always reasons

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Speaker 1: behind these things. They were like fifteen years ago, this

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Speaker 1: wouldn't affected me, but now it does because of this

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Speaker 1: thing I find. It's a big way. And this industry too,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I don't want to bitch about this,

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Speaker 1: and because we're fortunate to be in there, but the

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Speaker 1: TV industry in particular, it has always been the dream

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Speaker 1: of mine to be TV and radio and have that

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Speaker 1: huge part of my life just disappear. It has been hugely,

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Speaker 1: hugely hard for me to get home, and I reckon

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Speaker 1: most people I thought had my back and were my

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Speaker 1: mates are not and not I've clearly worked out they're not. No,

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Speaker 1: they're not. They're not friendly, but they're not they're not

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Speaker 1: fighting for you in the rooms that you're not in

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Speaker 1: for and that's been a real hard lesson to learn.

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Speaker 3: From me, you know, and we've spoken briefly about it,

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Speaker 3: and I have.

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Speaker 1: The same similar things you know in this industry as well.

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Speaker 3: You know, it affix your confidence and who you are

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Speaker 3: because and like we're totally privileged to be this is

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Speaker 3: doing heart surgery. It's a very privileged.

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Speaker 1: And that's why I feel we're talking about this because

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Speaker 1: it's come up, mate, You're on the right, you know, Like.

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Speaker 3: But I totally know what you mean because we sell

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Speaker 3: our personalities like we are our own brand. So like

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Speaker 3: when people say they don't want you, it feels really personal.

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Speaker 3: It's like we don't like you literally don't want what

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Speaker 3: I personally bring to the table. So it hurts.

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Speaker 2: So like you're not like just a terrible chef, where

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Speaker 2: like she's that person can't cook. Yeah, yeah, I see

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Speaker 2: what you're saying.

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Speaker 3: Or your specific skill, someone else is better at that

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Speaker 3: skill than you. It's your personality, you know, Like it's

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Speaker 3: not personal, it's like it is.

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Speaker 1: I get there.

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Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people in this industry

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Speaker 2: and probably many others as well, they put so much

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Speaker 2: gravitas on who they are as a person, on their

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Speaker 2: job yeah, you know, you play so much importance on

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Speaker 2: the success and your happiness and well being for you know,

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Speaker 2: and that's correlated to how well you're doing in your

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Speaker 2: professional life. And it shouldn't be the way, but it is.

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Speaker 2: And in a lot of professions you're like, if I'm

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Speaker 2: successful in work, then everything's going well in life. It's

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Speaker 2: not necessary the.

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Speaker 3: Way, no, And like you see, I always think about

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Speaker 3: sports people, so they would you know, like say all blacks,

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Speaker 3: they spend their whole life from when they're young gearing

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Speaker 3: up to like being this all black and then your

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Speaker 3: career in terms of careers finishes pretty early, you know,

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Speaker 3: like you're pre forty usually, and then they're like, well

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Speaker 3: what next, what next? Because you spend your whole life

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Speaker 3: focusing on this one thing that ends, you know, and

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Speaker 3: then you've got to figure out a career path after that.

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Speaker 3: And you're right, people go into like this mental health

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Speaker 3: to like battle with what is my worth and what

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Speaker 3: is my place in the world.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's and there's not nothing wrong with putting

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Speaker 2: a whole lot of word your worth and well being

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Speaker 2: and your professional career because that's you know, for many

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Speaker 2: people what they're passionate about and their hobby as well.

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Speaker 2: At the same time you look at like you're talking

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Speaker 2: about Daniel Ricardo, the Formula one driver. Yeah, for weeks

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Speaker 2: they've been like he's gonna go. He's terribly set, you know,

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Speaker 2: and he would.

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Speaker 3: Be so in his head at that interview I showed

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Speaker 3: you where he'd just done the race and he knows,

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Speaker 3: he knows it probably is his last race in Formula One,

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Speaker 3: and they're like, how do you feel about it? And

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Speaker 3: he's like trembling his lips trembling, and he's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I was just trying to save the moment. So this

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Speaker 3: guy is like you imagine what that must be like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well yeah, it's not just yeah, it's not Formula one,

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Speaker 1: it's not just me. It's so many that those jobs

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Speaker 1: that you are.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean he will learn a lot of

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Speaker 3: money and he's in a privileged position, but he's not

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Speaker 3: immune to a mental health struggling.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't make it his mental health any less

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Speaker 1: than in someone else what they're going through as well.

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Speaker 2: So being able to think I have separation between the

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Speaker 2: two parts of your life, the private and professional, is key, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: absolutely key. Yeah, Like how work's making you feel or

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Speaker 2: you know how you feel you're doing it work. You've

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Speaker 2: got to some how leave that at the door and

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Speaker 2: separate that from your personal life, because that is so special.

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Speaker 2: What's going on in people's personal life, friends, family and everything.

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Speaker 2: It's easily taken for granted, I think at times.

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Speaker 3: But I also find it weird that we spend so

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Speaker 3: much of our life around people all the time. Even

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Speaker 3: in the street, I'm like always thinking we're walking past

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Speaker 3: all these people, we're all living the same experience, but

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Speaker 3: I don't. We don't even speak to people, you know, Like,

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Speaker 3: I find that weird. And then you go to work

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Speaker 3: and I see all these people.

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Speaker 2: Here every day.

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Speaker 1: Going on.

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Speaker 3: We're just like, hey, hey, and like some of the

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Speaker 3: people out there I've known for years and the only

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Speaker 3: conversation we ever have is like, how whuch we can?

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Speaker 2: Good?

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Speaker 1: You're good?

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Speaker 3: It's so weird to me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, Larissa, who works in the promotions department, she said,

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Speaker 2: for many years, all I would say to is hey,

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Speaker 2: you go mate, and she'd say good, and then that

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Speaker 2: was our in direction. Yeah, doesn't go any further than that.

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Speaker 2: Crazy weird people you see every day you're right like, and.

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Speaker 3: You end up seeing them sometimes more in your family,

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Speaker 3: like that's not natural.

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Speaker 2: It's unusual. Yeah, it's very unusual.

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Speaker 3: But maybe we should just like try and you know,

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Speaker 3: talk a bit more. When someone's like obviously not having

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Speaker 3: a good time, just be like, hey, are you actually okay?

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Speaker 2: What do you do when you're having a bad time?

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Speaker 2: You can't say drinking?

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Speaker 1: What do I do specifically?

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Speaker 3: You can't say drinking.

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Speaker 1: I've been getting against I find like there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of thing for me in routine, like fresh air, exercise,

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Speaker 1: those things, you know, like just to trying to do that,

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Speaker 1: so things at least if I do some exercise, at

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Speaker 1: least it's something I feel like I can control and

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Speaker 1: I feel better for doing. You know, it doesn't solve

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Speaker 1: the world's problems, but at least I've just done that.

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Speaker 1: Because if you don't exercise or something, I feel like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's another thing I now had to my list of things.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I haven't done that either, done this other

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Speaker 1: thing you know in your environment.

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Speaker 3: That's like Jazz Thornton's another day, like she was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I hate it, but exercise is really good, and it

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Speaker 3: is like, you know, it's good for you. It actually

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Speaker 3: like releases good chemicals into the brain and.

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Speaker 2: You've achieved something too, You're fine with that and.

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Speaker 3: Just like focused your mind on yourself.

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Speaker 1: Switching off your brain is something I was really struggling

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Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, to be or to be honest, because

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Speaker 1: that's just you know, with this job, all you're thinking

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Speaker 1: about is ideas, and all you're thinking about is content

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Speaker 1: when it's making you know, see, all you're doing all

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Speaker 1: for your life is you know, making videos and things

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Speaker 1: and its content. And then so that I use I

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Speaker 1: think you know, the times I have been to talk

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Speaker 1: to someone professionally, they're like, you're still you're using that

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Speaker 1: part of your brain to other things as well. You know,

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Speaker 1: you're going to those places that maybe because your brain's

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Speaker 1: just working over time because that's what you're used to

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Speaker 1: in your job. So you're probably thinking about all these

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Speaker 1: things that can potentially go wrong or other things in there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: in those situations because your brain you used to. Your

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Speaker 1: brain's just like cool, let's let's go through a hundred

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Speaker 1: different things that you know that could happen to what happened,

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Speaker 1: might happen or do you know it's yeah, and that's

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Speaker 1: you know, it's fine when it's a work situation. But

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Speaker 1: when it's other stuff, you just go into those places.

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Speaker 2: You go to worst case scenario every time, and that's.

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Speaker 1: A huge yeah. But I because of traun me pa,

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Speaker 1: I didn't you know, I didn't go to worst case

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Speaker 1: scenario for the airport and then then learned that one

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Speaker 1: the hard way, you know, And you know, I went

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Speaker 1: that with the court case and huge fines and losing

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Speaker 1: work and like having the mortgage up for you know,

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Speaker 1: all this stuff and putting you know, straining on relationships

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Speaker 1: with friends and people colleagues and putting them through shit,

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Speaker 1: and it was that was worst case scenario for me,

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Speaker 1: and then being all over the media. So I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: that can happen for something that I didn't foresay, and

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Speaker 1: then I'm going to force I'm gonna put everything through

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Speaker 1: that folks now, you know. And so and as I

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Speaker 1: said before that I wouldn't have gone to that place.

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Speaker 1: But because of that, that means I'm like that now,

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Speaker 1: So there's a reason I guess for.

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Speaker 3: Something really horrible and like you were worse than me.

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Speaker 3: But like when your name gets put that up there

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Speaker 3: and everyone's allowed to comment on you and your situation,

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Speaker 3: and you know what, you did, like the public is

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Speaker 3: shirts shirt. When everyone has a comment about you personally

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Speaker 3: and it's like a free for all, it is the

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Speaker 3: most horrible thing and it tears you down in the

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Speaker 3: most horrendous way. Were you look inside yourself and you're like,

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Speaker 3: does anyone actually like me?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 3: Am I good at this? Like you know, like you

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Speaker 3: have this really raw, horrible moment where because you read

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Speaker 3: the comments, especially when you've got something public like what

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Speaker 3: Ben went through, and then.

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Speaker 2: You look at someone like poor bloody Reagan, Yeah from

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Speaker 2: something as simil as breakdown yea.

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Speaker 1: And the hate that she got for that, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: but now you go, well, how is she? How is

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Speaker 1: your mental health? It would not be good and your

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Speaker 1: She was out there just to spread joy and then

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Speaker 1: to be involved in something.

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Speaker 3: You know. And also what she did, she didn't break

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Speaker 3: the law. She made us laugh. Like I think we

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Speaker 3: as a show come at those kind of things from

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Speaker 3: a very empathetic standpoint. It's like like even with the

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Speaker 3: Dave Grohl thing, I'm like, I mean, he didn't break

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Speaker 3: the law. Again, he broke the contract with his wife.

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Speaker 3: He screwed up, so he needs to they need to

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Speaker 3: deal with It's not for me to be like, you're

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Speaker 3: a terrible human because he's getting that anyway.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the other There's so much opinion everywhere which

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Speaker 2: can affect people too. Even you fall down rabbit holes

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Speaker 2: of information on TikTok and that can deeply affect your

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Speaker 2: mental health. You know, I've got a friend who falls

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Speaker 2: down those rabbit holes and you have really changed really

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Speaker 2: just from information just constantly coming at them. And because

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Speaker 2: he's clicked on one or two videos, now they think, oh,

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Speaker 2: this is the type of content he enjoys, so he

401
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Speaker 2: thinks that's his world. And then you get sucked into

402
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Speaker 2: this vortex of and you've got to pull yourself out,

403
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Speaker 2: go outside, get some exercise.

404
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Speaker 3: And you're right like the media and the internet can't

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Speaker 3: be trusted because they build an algorithm around what you're

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Speaker 3: looking at, so you get into a little like bubble

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Speaker 3: of certain content and it's not Actually I don't.

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Speaker 2: Want to talk here, transplants. I clicked on one ad

409
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Speaker 2: once just out of interest. What was going to happen?

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Speaker 2: I think the world has changed a lot where it

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Speaker 2: would have been interesting to see statistics on mental health

412
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Speaker 2: and not again years ago, eighties, nineties, wasn't spoken about

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Speaker 2: as much, but whether there were as many mental health

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Speaker 2: problems as there are nowadays, with the environments that were

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Speaker 2: in there.

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Speaker 1: All people just told like, you know, sir John killing you.

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Speaker 1: I hugely admire what he's done, you know, like he

418
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Speaker 1: was being an all black. It was traditionally staunch, you

419
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Speaker 1: know that all those sort of things that we now

420
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Speaker 1: know shouldn't be the case. Yeahd make it out there.

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Speaker 1: He was suffering from it and probably is still, you know,

422
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Speaker 1: but to come out publicly and to talk about what

423
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Speaker 1: he's going through it's usually brave. Yeah, and to go hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm not okay and stuff.

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Speaker 3: It was.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing what he's done and has continues to do.

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Speaker 2: You know, he would be a pioneer yeah for that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: in this country anyway.

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Speaker 1: You're right, But back then there's probably other people and

430
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Speaker 1: the team going through the same sort of stuff might

431
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Speaker 1: not brave enough to talk about it, you know.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, you're right, everything has changed so much,

433
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Speaker 3: but like you can, the best thing we could do

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Speaker 3: is talk about it, just talk about how.

435
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,600
Speaker 1: But it's hard, Yeah, And I guess its hard because

436
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,120
Speaker 1: I don't preach always what what I'm saying.

437
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 2: That's the thing. I sometimes feel typocritical where you're like

438
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 2: go and talk to it and being listening here when

439
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 2: you're like, well, I probably don't do that enough with

440
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 2: my own friend group. So it's something that you need

441
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 2: to be active on, isn't it.

442
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 3: But also like, rather than being like, well I just

443
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 3: need to go and listen to someone else, maybe you

444
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 3: can start by like talking to them about you first

445
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 3: and being more vulnerable with you, and then they will

446
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 3: feel safe to do it back. I don't know that

447
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 3: it's good.

448
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,399
Speaker 2: And sometimes when you start the conversation, the starting of

449
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 2: is the most daunting. As soon as you're in the conversation,

450
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 2: it's absolutely fine.

451
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 3: Like this, we're all like, oh god, what are we

452
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:49,600
Speaker 3: going to do?

453
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,160
Speaker 1: What are we going to talk about? Yeah?

454
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 2: True, you had a fifty to fifty split on this

455
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,800
Speaker 2: at the top. Where are your thoughts now?

456
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 1: Mate?

457
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,960
Speaker 2: Where you're sitting? Percentage was a minutes.

458
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,160
Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, I go around in circles because I'm

459
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 1: kind of like, who, we're not expert? What do you

460
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,120
Speaker 1: shut up? You know? In my head, I'm like, again,

461
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: my brain's going shut up, just shut up. What are

462
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 1: you saying? You don't know? You know, do you know

463
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 1: what that is.

464
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 3: That's from what you've experienced in the past. You're reading

465
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,879
Speaker 3: those comments back in your mind about what you're doing now,

466
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 3: because I get that too every time I talk now

467
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 3: or think, you know, that's what you know, like, yeah,

468
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 3: I don't like listening back to anything I've done on

469
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 3: here because I'm like, who wants to listen to you?

470
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 3: Just shut up? Like you suck?

471
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 1: Like you know all of that Poster syndrome. It's a

472
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 1: huge thing, you know, like when you don't feel like, yeah,

473
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 1: you're quite you know, like you still I still get that,

474
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,119
Speaker 1: you know most most weeks, you know, when you're like,

475
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,120
Speaker 1: oh jeez, I felt like I'm I meant to be here,

476
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 1: and I guess we're coming from things when your confidence

477
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,479
Speaker 1: is low. We're getting knocked back again, that rejection thing,

478
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,480
Speaker 1: and it makes that stuff worse. It's just a cycle

479
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: of like, you know, you can see what it happens, but.

480
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 2: There's a finalite of using that as a driver too,

481
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 2: isn't it imposter syndrome? Yeah, yeah, it's having that balance

482
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 2: in your head of that's what makes you strive to

483
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 2: keep working hard in whatever industry you're in or whatever

484
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 2: you're trying to achieve in life.

485
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,159
Speaker 3: But like, I get my imposter syndrome. But to hear

486
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 3: you say that, I'm like, you guys have had like

487
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:15,600
Speaker 3: a very long career and media. You're very well recognized

488
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,119
Speaker 3: for all of the successful things you've done. Like, I

489
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,639
Speaker 3: don't understand your imposter syndrome, do you know what I mean?

490
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 3: I'm like, why are you going forward? Being like, oh,

491
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 3: I've got to know here, And I'm like, how many

492
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 3: yearses have you had though? And how much success have

493
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 3: you had? You know? And even the airport scenario where

494
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 3: it ended up getting you, you know, all of that

495
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 3: went down, it was in the first instance, it was

496
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 3: still very entertaining, Like do you know what I mean?

497
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 3: And I don't know if I'll get in trouble for

498
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:43,920
Speaker 3: saying that, but it was it was a great idea

499
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 3: and it was entertaining. And you mean, well, well it wasn't.

500
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: It was never exactly at which I should have thought

501
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 1: through a lot more.

502
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 3: But yeah, your intentions were to entertain people, and you did,

503
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 3: and you've had a very successful career subsequently. So yeah,

504
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 3: Like to hear other people talk about imposter syndrome, you're

505
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 3: always like what, Yeah, Like Taylor Stoft Scott Imposter syndrome,

506
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 3: and everyone does.

507
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 2: Everyone does. Yeah, No, one probably feels like they need,

508
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,359
Speaker 2: they deserve to be where they are what they're doing. Yeah,

509
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,160
Speaker 2: we're all just been making our way through life, making

510
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 2: things up, aren't we.

511
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:17,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

512
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 2: I've got a theory that no one in this business

513
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 2: knows actually what they're doing.

514
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 3: A lot of people generally in life don't know. Like

515
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 3: a kid and I've got two kids, you.

516
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 2: Just got to say things with confidence.

517
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: So do your parenting with confidence.

518
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 2: She's got a ship together. That's the key life doesn't

519
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 2: that deal with confidence. But they're also the half thingcause

520
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 2: you can't keep living in the past either to move forward.

521
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 2: Spoke to die today again. We quote him all the time,

522
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 2: Die Henwood, and he's like, you can't control what's even

523
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,760
Speaker 2: in the past. You don't know what's coming in the future.

524
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 2: All you can do is be living in this moment

525
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 2: that you're in right now. Obviously, you can organize yourself

526
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 2: in some regard, put people up at three o'clock from school,

527
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,680
Speaker 2: or you know, you just got to live in what

528
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 2: you're doing now. This is all you can control. What

529
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 2: we're doing right now. You know that's a that's a

530
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,400
Speaker 2: really simple, nice way to look at life.

531
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, again, it's yeah, it's great. I try and be

532
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 1: better at that, but I do struggle with that.

533
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, I'm it as easy as such.

534
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's great. It's a great way to be

535
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 1: and if you can do it, I love to it,

536
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 1: you know, like more.

537
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,159
Speaker 2: And there's not to say, don't learn from what's happened

538
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 2: in the past. Yeah, but you can't change it now. Yeah.

539
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: All you can do is control what you're doing now.

540
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 2: Really does simplify things down and worrying about stuff that's

541
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,159
Speaker 2: happening in the future it hasn't happened yet, Yeah, so

542
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,959
Speaker 2: you can't change what's going to happen. Right.

543
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 3: Well, I find my kids help me with that because

544
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 3: they're still little, so everything's like blows their mind. So,

545
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,680
Speaker 3: like we find a ladybug out in the backyard and

546
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 3: it's like the coolest.

547
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to see it.

548
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 3: I'm just like, yeah, it is pretty cool. It's like

549
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 3: really shiny blue, you know, like like simplifying life down

550
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,840
Speaker 3: to like, man, the sun feels good on my skin. Yeah, wow,

551
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 3: look at that shiny lady you know, Like.

552
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 1: John Kellen talks about that again. He talks about the

553
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 1: coff his coffee in the morning and a shower. Yeah,

554
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 1: those are the two things where he takes a moment

555
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: to go, Okay, I'm going to feel the water on

556
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: my back and I'm taking a moment and it's hot

557
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 1: and it's nice and that's my and whatever it is.

558
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 1: He's like, it might not be the shower of the

559
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: coffee for you, maybe anything else, but the thing it

560
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:19,440
Speaker 1: may be the appreciate the sun or whatever it is.

561
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: You know, you go, okay, that's it's just a moment

562
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 1: to go okay, Yeah, that's cool. I get to do

563
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 1: that and then just have a sip for me and

564
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,360
Speaker 1: it's good and this is my moment.

565
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 2: You know. I like. Yeah, But you know, my wife

566
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 2: was saying she went to some therapy and stuff. And

567
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 2: if you're in a moment too, you can just go

568
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 2: breathe in and then hold your finger and your thaw

569
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 2: four thumb together and then work your thumb down your

570
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 2: fingers and taking a breath in each time, so you

571
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 2: do eight in total, and that apparently recalibrates yourself if

572
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 2: you're in a fluster. Yeah, that was a really terrible

573
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 2: thing to describe in an audio form. I saw you

574
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:57,520
Speaker 2: doing it Fingerbase, just think of you. Yeah, you're gonna

575
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 2: have to do a lot of man making up there.

576
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, want to die. I say, he has a cold shower.

577
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: And he's temperature.

578
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's clearly the shock of yeah cold water.

579
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously a shower handy for that hum in the ocean.

580
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that would kind of work as well.

581
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:13,400
Speaker 3: Well.

582
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,639
Speaker 1: I don't know if this has been helpful at all

583
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: for anyone, but it's it's been.

584
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 3: It has been. It has just hearing someone like you

585
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 3: and John O like open up about yourself vulnerability.

586
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's not something that comes naturally. Yeah, but it's

587
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:31,959
Speaker 1: nice to Yeah, I guess to put it out there,

588
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: and it's great. It's a great week to be talking

589
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,240
Speaker 1: about the sorts of stuff.

590
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

591
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: So if you are going through an other stuff, we

592
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: are thinking of you, and if you have people you

593
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,280
Speaker 1: can talk to, it's a really good place to start.

594
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 2: I thought, I just played this music. I don't know

595
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,200
Speaker 2: else We're going to end it here, we go