1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,120
Speaker 1: Now apparently there's a growing trend of parents who won't

2
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,800
Speaker 1: send their kids on sleepovers anymore. And this is basically

3
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,480
Speaker 1: because they're worried about potential harms. It could happen in

4
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,799
Speaker 1: someone else's home, and some parents won't even send their

5
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,600
Speaker 1: kids to stay with close family members. Joe Robertson is

6
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:17,480
Speaker 1: a sex and relationships therapist and with us now. Hi Joe, Hi,

7
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,239
Speaker 1: you hearing this anecdotally?

8
00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:23,279
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and experiencing it myself got three kids in

9
00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:27,720
Speaker 2: that season, so definitely understand the challenges around where to

10
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,760
Speaker 2: send your kids, where to keep you know, who to

11
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,880
Speaker 2: keep them home from, etc. It's really hard for parents

12
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:32,600
Speaker 2: to figure that out.

13
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,640
Speaker 3: Do you send your kids on sleepovers?

14
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,040
Speaker 2: Yes, they have a couple of designated families that they

15
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,159
Speaker 2: can have sleepovers with, and as they've gotten older, the

16
00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:44,519
Speaker 2: amount of people that they can spend that amount of

17
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,080
Speaker 2: time with grows. So there's a kind of a.

18
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:48,640
Speaker 3: I guess, a staggered approach.

19
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,760
Speaker 1: M Okay, do you think that people's I mean, because

20
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,320
Speaker 1: I grew up in the eighties and nineties and it

21
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:55,960
Speaker 1: was a free for all. We were always staying at

22
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:56,800
Speaker 1: people's houses and stuff.

23
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,320
Speaker 3: Were we a little bit loose back then.

24
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 1: Yes, we were a little bit loose.

25
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we definitely need to be really intentional about

26
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,800
Speaker 2: where our kids spend time. And what I don't mean

27
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,320
Speaker 2: is them you know, biking down to the dairy, going

28
00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:12,840
Speaker 2: to the park and hanging out with friends. All of

29
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,800
Speaker 2: that stuff's really healthy and goosh, you know, playing sports

30
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,320
Speaker 2: and getting there by themselves. That's all fantastic, But where

31
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,200
Speaker 2: they're actually spending the night in places, you know, if

32
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,400
Speaker 2: you think about just the secrecy, the privacy, the kind

33
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,280
Speaker 2: of the cover of darkness those spaces, we do need

34
00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:28,240
Speaker 2: to be more careful about.

35
00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:30,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, look, because what a lot of parents

36
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,399
Speaker 1: are worried about is you know, let's just call it

37
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,800
Speaker 1: for what it is, like sexual stuff happening, right, and

38
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,920
Speaker 1: often I imagine the concern should be perhaps less the adults,

39
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:44,640
Speaker 1: but the other kids. Yeah, I totally agree.

40
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,800
Speaker 2: I definitely there's a trend now with kids at sleep over,

41
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,840
Speaker 2: kids at camps sorry, where there's no adults in the room,

42
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,600
Speaker 2: so it's only children in the rooms at school camps often,

43
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:54,680
Speaker 2: and that's got its.

44
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:55,720
Speaker 3: Own challenges with it.

45
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,320
Speaker 2: Okay, it's more than sexual harm, you know, it's like

46
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,080
Speaker 2: the stuff that they would see in a movie they

47
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,120
Speaker 2: had a bad dream. Like, there's definitely other things.

48
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,760
Speaker 1: Okay, So how do parents suss out whether the host

49
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,480
Speaker 1: family is an appropriate family or not?

50
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,960
Speaker 2: You want to spend a decent amount of time with

51
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,720
Speaker 2: that family, you know. I think about it as if

52
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:17,160
Speaker 2: your child had diarrhea. This is uncomfortable to imagine, I know,

53
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,040
Speaker 2: but if they had it's not happens.

54
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,160
Speaker 3: All the time.

55
00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,880
Speaker 2: Carry on, Yes, if you're child a diarrhea and you

56
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,680
Speaker 2: needed somebody to wash their body, would you feel comfortable

57
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,640
Speaker 2: with the person that they're going to doing that for them?

58
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,280
Speaker 1: So that's you.

59
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,040
Speaker 2: Know, that's like a really practical kind of measure.

60
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:34,440
Speaker 3: Do I trust those?

61
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,959
Speaker 1: But what about just like low level stuff like screen time?

62
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:38,240
Speaker 3: Right?

63
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,560
Speaker 1: Some parents are really liberal, some parents are a little

64
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,440
Speaker 1: bit more conservative.

65
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:43,800
Speaker 3: Can you can you judge it based on that?

66
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,680
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's a conversation you have to have.

67
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,560
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's the judge of whether you

68
00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:51,080
Speaker 2: trust that.

69
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:51,880
Speaker 3: Family or not.

70
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,560
Speaker 1: But it's getting too when they're in the bedroom with

71
00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,359
Speaker 1: the iPad looking at only fans.

72
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, yeah, or making only fans. You know, we

73
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:04,880
Speaker 2: don't want that either. No, So yeah, there's a conversation

74
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,520
Speaker 2: I have even with playdates. It's not just sleepovers. But hey,

75
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,160
Speaker 2: what are the rules around screens in your home? And

76
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:09,880
Speaker 2: how do we manage it?

77
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:10,200
Speaker 3: Now?

78
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,240
Speaker 1: Okay, so Joe give me some advice. So I'm thinking

79
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:13,800
Speaker 1: about my My one is three and a half, and

80
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,600
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about him sending him to my mother full

81
00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,400
Speaker 1: Saturday night because his cousin's are there. But I'm worried

82
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 1: about my mother because she can be a bit loose

83
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,080
Speaker 1: and I want. I don't know that I trust her

84
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,560
Speaker 1: with the front door on a busy road. Am I

85
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,320
Speaker 1: being a psycho?

86
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:27,960
Speaker 3: Probably?

87
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,080
Speaker 1: That's that is psycho, isn't it.

88
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:33,400
Speaker 3: You can say it. I don't think it's psycho.

89
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,480
Speaker 2: I think it just sounds like you need a really

90
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:37,600
Speaker 2: honest conversation about your concerns.

91
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,240
Speaker 1: Okay, cool, I will thank you, see, I'll say, Joe,

92
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 1: said Joe. Thank Joe definitely appreciated Joe robertson Sex and

93
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,040
Speaker 1: Relationship Therapist. Now my mum knows because she'll be listening.

94
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,640
Speaker 1: So I've done half the work already.

95
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 2: For more from Heather Duplessy Alan Drive listen live to

96
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:54,960
Speaker 2: news talks.

97
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,200
Speaker 1: It'd be from four pm weekdays or follow the podcast

98
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,280
Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio,