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Speaker 1: Daily bespoke content that you won't find on the radio

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Speaker 1: show The hurdar Ki Breakfast Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Got a hardcase box on my head. I just want

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Speaker 2: everyone to know that upfront.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to describe what I'm looking across here.

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Speaker 3: It's a forty centimeter by twenty eight centimeter box, blue

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Speaker 3: box with a giant golden egg on the side of it.

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Speaker 2: It'll be everywhere on your social media feed. By the

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Speaker 2: time you're listening to this, we'll have gone viral.

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Speaker 3: I reckon Mina's head is poking out through the bottom

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Speaker 3: and through the middle of it, so the box as

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Speaker 3: boxed up as here. Basically your head is framed so

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Speaker 3: you look like a portrait. You're wandering around like like

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Speaker 3: a like a portrait with a blue frame.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, or like I've seen it. I've never seen

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Speaker 2: it before, You've never seen me diorama in my own

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Speaker 2: head first time? Remember dioramas?

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Speaker 3: Now, I like to look for a bit of cell phone.

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Speaker 4: Could we use the Allison Chain song Man in a Box? Yeah,

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Speaker 4: the background slash soundtrack for this on socials.

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Speaker 3: I imagine that this me did you used to did

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Speaker 3: you do a diorama? Was Thelar System and you look

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Speaker 3: through and you see all of the different planets hung

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Speaker 3: with bits of string through the bottom mine of yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: we did like a day at the beach. I remember

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Speaker 3: a day at the beach. We looked through and you

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Speaker 3: see like the sand and then and all that stuff

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Speaker 3: loved to die.

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Speaker 2: Right, I did it. I did one as a kid,

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Speaker 2: and it was the inside of a pyramid. We're doing

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Speaker 2: a thing on Egypt, and so I had like the

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Speaker 2: different layers and where two and Carmen was parked up,

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Speaker 2: and then I painted like hieroglyphics on the walls and

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Speaker 2: things like that. The big triangle sucker. That was a

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Speaker 2: lot of fun. But a yellow cellophane on the top

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Speaker 2: of that give it that CPR tone. Look make you

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Speaker 2: feel like you're in Egypt.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's quite good.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 3: I love the bit of when craft meets history.

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Speaker 2: Look, I mean to educate and to inform. No, we

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Speaker 2: were just having a fat winge before you came out

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Speaker 2: of the podcast here, and it reminded me of the

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Speaker 2: thing that I saw on the sosh Met about blokes,

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Speaker 2: dads in particular hobbies. When you think of dad hobbies,

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Speaker 2: you think of like mowing the lawns, yard work, smoking, meats,

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Speaker 2: lawn care. And it's because it's gutters, gutters.

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Speaker 3: Who else does the gutters?

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Speaker 2: Remember growing up as a kid and your dad's always

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Speaker 2: just doing shit around the house, you like, fucking all

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Speaker 2: Saturday dead, we're up on the roof for some reason. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, It's always that kind of shit.

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Speaker 2: And it's because that's you know, as a dead you

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Speaker 2: can't just fuck off for the whole weekend. You can't

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Speaker 2: just a wim go over to the World Cup Grand

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Speaker 2: Final in a mid of bed.

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Speaker 3: But you've got but you've got to be doing something

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Speaker 3: and there's something in it, and so the hobbies become

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Speaker 3: things that you can do for your family, and then

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Speaker 3: they become your hobbies. Yeah, I know exactly what you're

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Speaker 3: doing about. But also I think it's a way of

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Speaker 3: hanging around in the weekend with your family. And people

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Speaker 3: think because you know, your kids want you to be there,

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Speaker 3: but they don't want you to be there, if you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean. They want you to be there,

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Speaker 3: they don't want you interacting with them whole time. They

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Speaker 3: want you just to be around.

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Speaker 4: I want you on call, just so you've got.

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Speaker 3: To pretend that you've got things to do. So then

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Speaker 3: the end of the things that you're pretending that you

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Speaker 3: need to do actually become you actually start to enjoy them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's that getting bitter at them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like sweep for me, sweeping the driveway. I love

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Speaker 3: sweeping the driveway now. I used to hate sweeping the

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Speaker 3: driveway as a curt Oh my god, weed to a

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Speaker 3: long driveway with all these leaves, and probably during particularly

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Speaker 3: autumnal periods, my brother and I like maybe once a

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Speaker 3: month we'd have to sweep all the leaves up. I

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Speaker 3: hated that with a passion.

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Speaker 2: Because well, who kires there's gonna be more leaves again tomorrow,

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Speaker 2: I know. But now it's in your dotage.

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Speaker 3: Now I love it. Yeah, I love it.

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Speaker 2: My neighbor across the road, you can hear them all day.

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Speaker 2: He's an elderly man who's I think he's retired, and

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Speaker 2: you can hear him. He's got like an old witch's broom,

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Speaker 2: and he sweeps his driveway. I honestly reckon twice a day.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, you can hear him. How much do you

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Speaker 2: have to hate you have to be sweeping your driveway? Oh?

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Speaker 2: He is just constantly and he's his gardens perfectly manicured.

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Speaker 2: His lawns are an incredible shape. Because he's retired, he's

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Speaker 2: not got much to do.

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Speaker 4: Every time one leaf land, that would be the end

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Speaker 4: of his fucking day.

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Speaker 2: Whenever a storm hits. You can you can see him

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Speaker 2: standing in the front window of his lounge just looking

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Speaker 2: out there, just watching a single leaf fall to the ground.

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Speaker 2: He's out there.

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Speaker 3: I had a friend who had an astro turf back

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Speaker 3: garden in a reasonably small section, you know, like three

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Speaker 3: hundred and sixty square meter section or something with a house.

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Speaker 3: Most of it was house and then had a little

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Speaker 3: back back area was AstroTurf. And he used to vacuum

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Speaker 3: his astrotyth. So he'd get the vacuum cleaner out and

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Speaker 3: he would vacuum for leaves and all that sort of crap, like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I Rode, you do that, don't you? You vacuum outside?

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Speaker 3: Don't tell me, do you?

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Speaker 4: Well you, Yeah, I have been known because we've got

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Speaker 4: an AstroTurf in our backyard, and again a very small

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Speaker 4: section of our section. And yeah, there was just a

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Speaker 4: few little bits of stone and rubble that come out

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Speaker 4: from underneath the astro turf. A little bits of twig,

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Speaker 4: a little bits of leaf, and every now and again

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Speaker 4: I'll go round and up it up. And then I thought,

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Speaker 4: one day, why don't I just use the vacuum. I'll

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Speaker 4: tell you very very infective. Yeah, yeah, And we've got

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Speaker 4: a pretty good vacuum. And the end though, I've got

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Speaker 4: one of those leaf blowers that you blow it and

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Speaker 4: then you turn the nozzle around and then it sucks

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Speaker 4: it up like a vacuum, and you, well, you want

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Speaker 4: to make sure because it's got a bag, so you're

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Speaker 4: sucking and then you blut. No, you blow and then

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Speaker 4: you suck. But if you put the bag on and

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Speaker 4: don't do the zip up, then you just want did

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Speaker 4: you blow the bag again? Well you're wandering around and ye,

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Speaker 4: working very well, and then you realize it there's a

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Speaker 4: big puff of dust and ship behind and you were

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Speaker 4: a moron, you know.

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Speaker 2: One day I was working in a in my concrete

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Speaker 2: pouring days, we had a giant ship that we worked

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Speaker 2: in a workshop, if you will, But it was big

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Speaker 2: enough that you could drive a truck through it. It's

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Speaker 2: pretty huge, dusty as fucking One day I was I

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Speaker 2: was sweeping it because I was the I was the

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Speaker 2: boy on site, and so I swept the whole and

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Speaker 2: then I saw it at the corner of my eye,

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Speaker 2: a leaf blower and I was like, good, an idea here,

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Speaker 2: and so I got the leaf blowergun, thinking this world,

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Speaker 2: I would just be able to make one part of

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Speaker 2: the whole workshop and just do the whole thing. All

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Speaker 2: it did was create basically a hurricane in the middle

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Speaker 2: of the workshop, and it just whipped up all of

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Speaker 2: the dust, so where basically we couldn't work in there

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Speaker 2: for an hour after lunch.

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Speaker 3: And once you've started as well, you're like, I've gotta

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Speaker 3: keep going.

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Speaker 2: But fuck it. Passing around house off and there was

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Speaker 2: like concrete sitting in there, so there's like dust all

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Speaker 2: through the concrete.

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Speaker 3: Ship that stuff better on the ground.

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Speaker 2: I got, I got, I got pulled aside but the

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Speaker 2: owner of the company, and he said, I just let

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Speaker 2: me look, I'm not having to go yet. I just

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Speaker 2: like to share some information with you that was shed

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Speaker 2: to me when I was your age. It takes just

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Speaker 2: as long to do something right as it does to

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Speaker 2: do it wrong. So just do it right the first

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Speaker 2: time and then you don't have to do it.

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Speaker 3: It's bloody good advice. It was with my kids.

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Speaker 2: Actually, it really fucked me off at the time. I

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Speaker 2: hate it. I was like, you fucking dick. I wasn't

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Speaker 2: trying to do it wrong. I was trying to do

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Speaker 2: it right. I just it's a scale is shite, and

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Speaker 2: I'm also dumb.

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Speaker 3: So he should have turned around and said, you're a

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Speaker 3: dumb cunt.

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Speaker 2: You you're a dumb cunt.

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Speaker 3: You've done it wrong. Oh yeah, I know you're trying

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Speaker 3: to do it right, but you're a dumb cunt. Dumb

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Speaker 3: to fucking right cunts.

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Speaker 2: In that same workshop, we had a faulty nail gun.

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Speaker 2: You know, usually with the nail gun, you have to

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Speaker 2: press it into the piece of wood. It's got a

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Speaker 2: safety mechanism and then you can shoot the nail. But

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Speaker 2: the thing had someone had pressed it in and it

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Speaker 2: had gotten stuck there, which meant you could shoot nails

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Speaker 2: across the fucking across the workshop at each other. And

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Speaker 2: so one day one of the one of the builders

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Speaker 2: came back from sight and then one of those he

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Speaker 2: was sitting behind this concrete mold and it just popped up,

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Speaker 2: ricocheting off the side of the shed and ship one

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Speaker 2: of them hurd him in the back of the head

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Speaker 2: and it was just all on for young and old.

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Speaker 3: Safety first.

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Speaker 2: Safety first. So they were both in high vers and

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Speaker 2: just throwing bones in the middle of the workshop. Well

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Speaker 2: thank god there meanwhile could be seen in the middle

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Speaker 2: of that old Monicas with the leaf blush.

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Speaker 3: This sounds like a great place to work. It was.

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Speaker 3: I don't think you've ever told us any stories about the.

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Speaker 2: Concrete planting stories? Yeah, how long will we go?

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Speaker 3: I don't feel like I know anything about this place,

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Speaker 3: your seventy eight places of work.

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Speaker 2: I won't say their names, but we had some real

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Speaker 2: characters that worked there. Anyone who knew me at that

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Speaker 2: time will know who I'm talking about. I think one

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Speaker 2: of the fellas he lived in a caravan down in

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Speaker 2: the Tamuka River.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so it just was a river person. He

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Speaker 3: was a river caravan. All the place that you could live.

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Speaker 3: I want to live by damn bold river. He drove

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Speaker 3: in this, had Tomka, he drove in this, and cube

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Speaker 3: from work.

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Speaker 2: Okay, he had big long ponytail go tea combination. His

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Speaker 2: claim to fame was that because we were a precast

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Speaker 2: concrete yard, his claim to fame was that he poured

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Speaker 2: a few of the panels in the sky tower. He

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Speaker 2: would mention that every side we went on, that's high level. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: we women pulled the skytower. We had Oh wow, okay,

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Speaker 2: oh god, Steve's on the skytower.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Now, the next question I hear you ask is where

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Speaker 2: did he shower? If he lived in a caravan down

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Speaker 2: by a dry room. He had a gym membership, and

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Speaker 2: so he would go into Snap Fitness and Timorrow and

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Speaker 2: walk on the treadmill for long enough. Did everyone in

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Speaker 2: the gym saw him? They're working out, and then he

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Speaker 2: would just go and have a shower.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well that's kind of fair, a little bit of

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Speaker 3: fitness something.

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Speaker 4: My first question was actually a criminal record.

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Speaker 2: Not disclosed, but you'd have to assume every working their head.

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Speaker 3: There's a few people that gone missing down in that

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Speaker 3: sort of Canterbury South Canterbury kind of region over is.

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Speaker 2: He might have been one of them. And then he

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Speaker 2: just popped up back again on site. Now, he and

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Speaker 2: the other guy, they they fucking hated each other, but

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Speaker 2: they were the only two people who could finish a

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Speaker 2: precast concrete slap. So like you pour it into the

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Speaker 2: thing and then there's a few different finishes you can do,

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Speaker 2: but the main one is called a Keli float, which

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Speaker 2: is a big you know, like those polishes that Janet's

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Speaker 2: use in the hallway. It's like that, but it's got

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Speaker 2: like bars or blades on it and you just go

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Speaker 2: back and forth across the concrete patters. It sits nickers

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Speaker 2: at that smooth finish. They were the only two who

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Speaker 2: could do it, and they both fuck They hated each other,

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Speaker 2: but every now and then they'd have to work on

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Speaker 2: the same thing and they just motherfucking each other as

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Speaker 2: they walk. Well, I don't know what it was, but

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Speaker 2: they also both smoked like absolute trains. It was insane,

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Speaker 2: and so.

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Speaker 3: All that concrete dust and tar is good for them.

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Speaker 2: And part of your d no masks, and part of

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Speaker 2: my job, because you know, we'd stand the panels up

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Speaker 2: in the yard until they were ready to be picked up,

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Speaker 2: and part of my job was as we stand them up,

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Speaker 2: I had to go through and examine the panels to

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Speaker 2: make sure there were no cigarette butts poking out of

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Speaker 2: the concrete.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Wow.

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Speaker 1: Jeremy Wells and Mania Steet find them on Instagram at

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Speaker 1: Hodaki Breakfast. Jerry and Mania joined the ConFlat the Hdaki

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Speaker 1: Breakfast discussion group on Facebook.

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Speaker 3: What is it about river people? I've spent a bit

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Speaker 3: of time with the river people over the years, like

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Speaker 3: people who kayak or canoe or raft like nice people,

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Speaker 3: but they often stink.

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Speaker 2: There's a call to the river, isn't there?

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Speaker 3: They often smell And if you've decided, like, of all

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Speaker 3: the things that you could be a person of, you know,

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Speaker 3: you could be a beach person.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, We've got heaps of beaches in New Zealand and

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Speaker 3: you don't have to be rich to be by a

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Speaker 3: beach in New Zealand. And there's heaps of beaches that

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Speaker 3: are not expensive beaches to be by. There's some bloody

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Speaker 3: expensive ones, and there's some nice beaches that are you know,

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Speaker 3: out of the way a little bit more, but they're

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Speaker 3: not expensive places to live. You could be a beach person,

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Speaker 3: you could be a city person, you could be among

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Speaker 3: you could be a mountain person.

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Speaker 2: You could be a lake person, even a lake.

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Speaker 3: Dweller, which is not far from a river person.

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Speaker 2: It's just a river that's not walking.

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Speaker 3: But you've gone river. Yeah, that thing will flood, butual flood.

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Speaker 2: And bull flood once a year, I guess the thinking

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Speaker 2: is because it is if you find a good beautiful

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Speaker 2: spot and a into a river, you're like, why would

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Speaker 2: you be paying millions for our house when you can

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Speaker 2: just be down here in a fucking river and a campravan,

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Speaker 2: sitting in a having a showert snap fitness and dropping

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Speaker 2: berry butts into the concrete panels.

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Speaker 3: What's gonna make you say I'm a lifestyle millionaire. I

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Speaker 3: don't know exactly, that's exactly. I don't know. I reckon

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Speaker 3: you could get yourself a good little spot on a

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Speaker 3: beach somewhere overlooking. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, well let me let me tell you about

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Speaker 2: the other guy that was also the concrete finish for us,

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Speaker 2: and you can pick which one of these two lives

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Speaker 2: that you would like. He now, he at lunchtime every

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Speaker 2: day he would cook sausages and a George Foreman grill. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: fat drips off, knocks out the fat, and then he

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Speaker 2: would sit down and he would and he would pour.

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Speaker 2: This is where I got this trick that I showed

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Speaker 2: you guys the other day. On the salt you know,

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Speaker 2: the table salts table. See how it runs. You can

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Speaker 2: twist the blue top until the slit which is what

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Speaker 2: most people do. All these the hole and you've always

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Speaker 2: wondered what's the hole for. Well, the hole was for

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Speaker 2: concrete pours to pour salt over these sausages. And he

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Speaker 2: would just pour that much salt over each of his sausages.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of salt in the sausage, I know,

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Speaker 2: and then eat it with his fucking hands. And he

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Speaker 2: didn't wear gloves when he poured concrete, so his hands

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Speaker 2: were like at the joints of his fingers, they were

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Speaker 2: cracked because they were so dry from the concrete getting

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Speaker 2: all over his hands, and then they would crack, and

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Speaker 2: every now and then he'd pull salt into the crack

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Speaker 2: of his hand and go, ah, okay.

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Speaker 3: So I've got We've got the river guy.

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Speaker 2: But hold on, this is where this where did this

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Speaker 2: guy live? So this is where this guy lived one night,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know where he lived before this, but

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Speaker 2: one night he goes down to the Cozy Club. It's

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Speaker 2: quite a good darts player by all accounts, and he

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Speaker 2: goes down to the Cozy Club and he starts hitting

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Speaker 2: it off with a Sheila down the coze club. Beer

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Speaker 2: in mind. At this stage, he he's probably in his

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Speaker 2: fifties at the time, he looked sixty something.

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Speaker 4: I can't imagine why.

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Speaker 3: Yes, con greet and sausages.

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Speaker 2: So he's down the cozy club, probably throwing some pretty

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Speaker 2: spectacular darts because he gets talking to this Sheila and

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Speaker 2: he ends up gone home with it.

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Speaker 3: Right, she saw him playing darts and so it wouldn't

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Speaker 3: mind have been of man.

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Speaker 2: And then he just never left and he basically just

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Speaker 2: moved in with him oh and just stayed.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, OK, And I think that was about two

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Speaker 3: years before it just like what happened with men Toli,

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Speaker 3: but minus the darts. But I respect that, I respect

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Speaker 3: that he found it in and then he's obviously managed

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Speaker 3: to do what needs to be done to maintain that relationship.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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Speaker 3: Going on, I reckon Characters of the South Island could

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Speaker 3: be a series.

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Speaker 2: Characters that I've worked with in the South Island. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like the guy from at the Freezing Weeks. There was

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Speaker 2: a guy calling himself the Timoru Tunnyfah and he claimed

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Speaker 2: he'd never left the Timorrow district in his life and

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Speaker 2: he was thirty right. He's like from the I think

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Speaker 2: it was from like the White Taki River to like

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Speaker 2: the Rakaiah or something. He's like, I've never left it.

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Speaker 3: I believe, Yeah, I know, I believe. There's a lot

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Speaker 3: of people like that. I reckon. The characters get stranger

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Speaker 3: as you hid further south by the time you get

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Speaker 3: right down the bottom. There some interesting ones in Bluff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But what we're saying, like, which one would you choose? Ye?

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Speaker 2: Which one out of those times I'd go.

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Speaker 3: With the I'd go with the dude that was on

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Speaker 3: that was playing darts, to be honest, rather than the

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Speaker 3: river situation. At least he's got some company.

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Speaker 2: So yeah. Yeah, at that same place on a Friday,

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Speaker 2: they'd drop off a twenty four pack of export ultras

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Speaker 2: they hadn't been invented yet, and we would drink. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 2: the dB actually the dB Brewery and Tomorrow was just

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Speaker 2: around the corner. You could smell it when they got

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Speaker 2: their deliveries, when they were unloading like hops and shit,

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Speaker 2: oh I don't whatever the hell they are unloading. You

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Speaker 2: could smell it, Yeah, because it was right next to

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Speaker 2: us out there and washed Dike, and we had this

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Speaker 2: outdoor yard with a retractable roof, so we pull the

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Speaker 2: concrete pads on there and if it's a sunny day,

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Speaker 2: you could pull the roof back and they drive it quicker.

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Speaker 2: And we would have time trials on the forklift. And

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Speaker 2: so Friday night, have a couple of beers and then

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Speaker 2: you do a time trial of a lap of the

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Speaker 2: outside shid in the forklift. We found it was safer

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Speaker 2: to go backwards. Oh yeah, yeah, far less, far less

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Speaker 2: likely to roll it if if backwards.

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Speaker 3: This is great. This is such a great ad for

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Speaker 3: work safe New Zealand. And also, you've got a box

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Speaker 3: on your head. I'm not sure if you're aware that

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Speaker 3: you're telling all these stories absolutely dead pan with a

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Speaker 3: box on your head. Well, actually sorry, not on your head,

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Speaker 3: your head? Is it a box? Question?

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Speaker 4: Does your voice sound different because you're in a box? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Just one?

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Speaker 2: Does it sound different to you guys? No, it's really

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Speaker 2: going in here for me?

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Speaker 4: But do you know what pulling back the curtain, it

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Speaker 4: did sound very different the other day when the actors

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Speaker 4: from Hunt for the Wilder People and and we had

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Speaker 4: to do a little microphone reshuffle and you were using

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Speaker 4: my microphone. Yeah, gee, you sounded different better. No, I

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Speaker 4: like you better with the microphone you've got.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, me and Hoyt.

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Speaker 3: I don't like you either way.

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Speaker 2: You don't know.

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Speaker 3: I prefer you off.

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Speaker 2: Mike all right, Chui turned the mic off. Now let's

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Speaker 2: do that, and Joey raised it.

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Speaker 1: Jerry and Manaiah we hatched the radio show from six

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Speaker 1: to ten weekdays, The Hodaki Breakfast