WEBVTT - Comfortable in the Chaos with Megan Papas

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<v Speaker 1>With the Heads Podcast Network. Hello, welcome back to Slow

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<v Speaker 1>It Down.

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<v Speaker 2>I am your host, PJ Harding, and a bit of

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<v Speaker 2>a special episode this week.

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<v Speaker 1>I Guess.

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<v Speaker 2>I always want to be really honest and transparent on

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast, and this podcast is a reflection of where

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<v Speaker 2>I'm at in my life to be honest, and this

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<v Speaker 2>week I got to announce some very exciting news that

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<v Speaker 2>my husband and I are expecting our second baby in April.

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<v Speaker 1>We obviously have our two year old Charlie.

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<v Speaker 2>And I am seventeen weeks so long, and I am

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<v Speaker 2>not good at keeping secrets, so this feels very freeing

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<v Speaker 2>to be able to open up about it. So I

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to do a special episode, still in the Slow

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<v Speaker 2>It Down style, but talking about babies, going from one

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<v Speaker 2>to two, balancing mother and Korea, confidence after having babies

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<v Speaker 2>and being back in the workforce, the impact that has

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<v Speaker 2>on your relationship, and just a really honest chat about

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<v Speaker 2>I guess, the insecurities that arise after starting a family

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<v Speaker 2>and taking a backstep in your career. I'm joined by

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<v Speaker 2>radio host Meghan pop Us in this episode, and we

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<v Speaker 2>have quite the history after both working together on ZM

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<v Speaker 2>and now transitioning into the hits, So I thought Meghan

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<v Speaker 2>would be perfect to get on just to chat about

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<v Speaker 2>this phase of my life and hopefully this can help

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<v Speaker 2>other people in a similar situation. But Meghan is so

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<v Speaker 2>generous with their time and honest, and we get quite.

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<v Speaker 1>Deep towards the end of the episode.

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<v Speaker 2>But as a mom of toe working doing the juggle,

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<v Speaker 2>I think this is a really powerful episode and I

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<v Speaker 2>hope you get something out of it. Well, welcome to

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<v Speaker 2>the podcast, Meghan Beautiful pop us.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you PJ did to me harden. We need to

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<v Speaker 1>clarify what's going on here.

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<v Speaker 2>So I may or may not have not saved Meghan'

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<v Speaker 2>zumba on my phone for a very long time. I

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<v Speaker 2>need you to know that messaging is not my main

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<v Speaker 2>form of communication. And I just I'm so guilty of

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<v Speaker 2>not saving numbers on my phone and I'm always like

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<v Speaker 2>playing Giso.

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<v Speaker 1>But now you were safe. My old way to live?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it fix you? And You're just like, who's this? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>And I got back and I'm like, okay, reference point

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<v Speaker 2>two years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh it's Melissa. Because I called you for something on here,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry, rude.

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<v Speaker 2>But now because I've called you Meghan beautiful, papas it

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<v Speaker 2>comes up in b so I'm always like, the.

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<v Speaker 1>Hell is Megan Bee? I know? And yours comes up

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<v Speaker 1>with something weird because it's like PJ did to me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I need to change that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Meghan, and my history kind of spans back to

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<v Speaker 2>I think I was twenty fifteen or no, no, twenty thirty.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, when did you first move to z It is

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<v Speaker 1>twenty thirteen. I think it was something around then. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>And we.

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<v Speaker 2>Were sort of the opposite end of the days on

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<v Speaker 2>the radio station, and.

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<v Speaker 1>It was really cool, like we got to have a bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Of a family vibe and there was this cool kind

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<v Speaker 2>of connection between the morning and afternoons, which was really nice.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's funny now because we've ended up in the

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<v Speaker 1>same spots. We're on the same station again, just a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit old and drive, yeah, I know, with babies

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<v Speaker 1>in the mix and not probably not partying as hard

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<v Speaker 1>as were used to.

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<v Speaker 2>No, life looks a little bit different, And that's exactly

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<v Speaker 2>why I wanted to get you on, because you are

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<v Speaker 2>a working mama and I feel like you always have

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<v Speaker 2>your shit together because when I look at you, I'm like, man,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just gone.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything balanced is that an accurate Maybe I need to,

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<v Speaker 1>like I need to put some more of the bad

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<v Speaker 1>shit on social media maybe, But I mean when you come.

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<v Speaker 2>Into work, like I just feel like you're quite an

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<v Speaker 2>organized person. Would that be a fear a fear.

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<v Speaker 1>Statement only because I married a very organized person. So

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<v Speaker 1>he runs a very tight shit, my husband. So he's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of just pulled me into line when I met him,

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<v Speaker 1>Like my car was the car that was full of

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<v Speaker 1>rubbish and like he didn't want to get into it,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was just I was a hot mess functioning,

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<v Speaker 1>hot mess yuse But he has helped me out a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit, I think. So now we are very structured

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<v Speaker 1>with how we like parent and just everything. We're very organized. Really,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't handle the passive aggressive comments I get if

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have you got to the catch and have

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<v Speaker 1>you got one of those really.

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<v Speaker 2>Like super detailed roster on your fridge roster.

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<v Speaker 1>But we've got a calendar. I've got like a month calendar,

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<v Speaker 1>and everything's kind of like okay, just big things so

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<v Speaker 1>we know where we're at. But yeah, we're pretty organized.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that doesn't kids don't like they don't understand

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<v Speaker 1>that though, So you can be as organized as you like.

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<v Speaker 1>Shit will still fall apart. They'll still shit themselves when

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<v Speaker 1>you're trying to leave the house. They'll still have a

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<v Speaker 1>tantrum about whatever clothes you want them to wear. All

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<v Speaker 1>of that stuff still happens. Just you know, you feel

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<v Speaker 1>bad filming that and putting it on social media when

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<v Speaker 1>they're screaming at you. Yeah. Have you always wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>be a mum? Yeah? Do you know what? I probably

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<v Speaker 1>kept its secret for a long time. I used to

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<v Speaker 1>make jokes and be like, oh, I'm not ready to

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<v Speaker 1>be a mom, I'm too selfish. Yeah, but like, deep down,

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<v Speaker 1>I always did want I knew I wanted to be

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<v Speaker 1>a mom of two. I hoped it would be a

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<v Speaker 1>girl and a boy. And I was one of those

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<v Speaker 1>people that was like, I'm gonna have babies by the

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<v Speaker 1>time I'm twenty five. That obviously didn't. Haaven was divorced

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<v Speaker 1>at twenty eight.

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<v Speaker 2>We're here for the live details, So yeah, slightly, of course,

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah I did.

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<v Speaker 1>I did. But I feel like you try and keep

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<v Speaker 1>your plans quiet when you're a woman, and when you're

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<v Speaker 1>like in you know, a serious career that you've worked

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<v Speaker 1>your way up to for years and years and years,

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<v Speaker 1>you get to a point where you're like, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to tell everyone because how is that gonna away

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<v Speaker 1>fit my life? You know, we all have that in

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<v Speaker 1>the back of our mind. You sure you do piece

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent. It's wild And when like, did you

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<v Speaker 1>have a certain age when the urge really kicked in

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<v Speaker 1>and you're like, I really want to do this, but

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know how I'm gonna avigate this? Can I

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<v Speaker 1>can I actually even do both of these things at

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<v Speaker 1>the same time. Well, So my husband is ten years

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<v Speaker 1>younger than me, and when we got together, I was like, right,

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<v Speaker 1>if you're not like ready for kids, this is the age.

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<v Speaker 1>I was thirty five, I'm gonna be like doing this,

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<v Speaker 1>so you're either in or you're out. And he was

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<v Speaker 1>so obviously betweenty five, which is young. Sure, just straight

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<v Speaker 1>up with him. Yeah, And I see to him right

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<v Speaker 1>off the bat of like if you're not keen, then

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<v Speaker 1>you're out, and he is. He's very old. He's an

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<v Speaker 1>old soul, so he was always keen for that. But

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<v Speaker 1>as soon I was like, right, we're gonna get married

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<v Speaker 1>and then to give it a year and then we're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna have the babies of course, shit doesn't go to plan,

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<v Speaker 1>Like as soon as you plan your life out like that,

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<v Speaker 1>stuff doesn't happen. And so thirty five I was like, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I need to be getting onto this. And then we

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<v Speaker 1>had pretty much two years of trying to get pregnant

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<v Speaker 1>and it was just exhausting. So yeah, it was about

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<v Speaker 1>thirty five or like I knew when I wanted to,

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<v Speaker 1>but then it didn't happen. Really, I even knew that

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<v Speaker 1>you tried for two years and did you ever consider

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<v Speaker 1>going down the iv throad? So we did clomba fell

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<v Speaker 1>or someone who's been chlorophel treatment, no chloroform clomba. It's

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<v Speaker 1>a tablet you take to it's like fertility treatment you

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<v Speaker 1>do before you go down the road of IVF. So

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<v Speaker 1>we did four rounds of that and it just nothing

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<v Speaker 1>was happening. And it's like so upsetting when you're like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>well I'm getting all the sussistance from fertility doctors and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just not getting eggs growing, and so you're like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>well my body sucks. And so we were like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>we're gonna do IVF. We had it all jacked up.

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<v Speaker 1>We had the date we were going to pick up

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<v Speaker 1>the drugs, the injections, we'd done how to administer them,

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<v Speaker 1>We've gone through the whole shebang. I was literally going

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<v Speaker 1>to pick up the injections the day before it was

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<v Speaker 1>announced lockdown in twenty twenty. Oh my, And so anyone

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<v Speaker 1>who had started IVF treatment was allowed to continue, anyone

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<v Speaker 1>who hadn't started the drugs wasn't allowed to And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, are you kidding me? So we were like,

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<v Speaker 1>we just gotta give up on that dream for now,

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<v Speaker 1>no way, and so yeah, and so then you just

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<v Speaker 1>keep trying. So when was that? There was like April

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<v Speaker 1>and then May we conceived, Oh my god, naturally. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>two years of like all this assistance, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>and I hate. I hated it when people said to me,

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<v Speaker 1>as soon as you can stop trying, Yeah, don't please,

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<v Speaker 1>don't even say that to anyone who's having fertility issues.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's it happened like as soon as we kind

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<v Speaker 1>of we got locked down. So we were at home,

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<v Speaker 1>we were not doing much. We were just like something

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<v Speaker 1>else to do, yeah, and we were just drinking, like

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<v Speaker 1>making banana bread and shit. And then happened. I was

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<v Speaker 1>drinking so much too, Like you not even hearings. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>and yeah, we got pregnant. So what makes me so sad?

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<v Speaker 2>As when you go, there was something wrong with my

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<v Speaker 2>body and it's like a fifty to fifty, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's a fifty percent sheer, but the woman seems to

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<v Speaker 2>take the most guilt. It's like there's something broken about me.

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<v Speaker 2>But actually, hang on, there's two of you and the

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<v Speaker 2>whole party here.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's so true. And I think because it's happening

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<v Speaker 1>to your body too, like you kind of forget it

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<v Speaker 1>does take a toll on. Like my husband was taking

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<v Speaker 1>it really hard, but he has told me since he

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<v Speaker 1>tried to like just push it all down because I

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<v Speaker 1>was he felt like I was taking it worse. So

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<v Speaker 1>he's like, I can't fall apart because I need to

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<v Speaker 1>look after her. Yes, So like it af fixed both

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<v Speaker 1>of you, Like so yeah in different ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And then so that was okay during lockdown, crazy wild

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<v Speaker 2>times you were still working in radio when you did

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<v Speaker 2>finally feel pregnant. How did that feel in terms of

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<v Speaker 2>like that whole expiration of your career. Did you kind

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<v Speaker 2>of like put that to the side, it didn't matter

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<v Speaker 2>too much, or you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know, we're like what am I gonna do? Ah, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't. I'd had a long lead in years, and

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<v Speaker 1>at the time I was like a bit younger, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, yeah, progressive women, we're gonna do this.

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<v Speaker 1>We're gonna do everything. I can do it all and

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<v Speaker 1>you can.

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<v Speaker 2>But like.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so I was like, yeah, I can do this.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna take three months off. And I did

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<v Speaker 1>do all of those things. But like in my mind

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<v Speaker 1>first child, I was like, we're gonna kill this. We're

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<v Speaker 1>gonna like, we'll have it all unlocked. The baby's going

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<v Speaker 1>to sleep, and you know, all of that kind of stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>And again, life kicks in and it kicks your ass

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<v Speaker 1>and gives you a reality check. So I wasn't too

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<v Speaker 1>worried about it. I was like, three months off, it'll

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<v Speaker 1>be sweet. Is it what you took three months off?

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<v Speaker 2>And did you make that decision kind of early on

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<v Speaker 2>in the pregnancy.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because you know, like you're in a position where

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<v Speaker 1>you can't you can't just take a year off and

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<v Speaker 1>then expect to come back. Yeah, you know, and our

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<v Speaker 1>kind of job, it's outward facing, you know, like you

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<v Speaker 1>need to be there. Yes, So that was playing a

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<v Speaker 1>lot in my mind. A lot. So you went back

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<v Speaker 1>three months later, Yeah, and I was I was.

0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:19.960
<v Speaker 2>Breastfeeding, So I feel like it's still so tender three

0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.760
<v Speaker 2>months later. Like I had the luxury of not being

0:12:23.760 --> 0:12:25.120
<v Speaker 2>in a full time job at the time. I was

0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:27.480
<v Speaker 2>kind of I sort of caught radio for that point

0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:31.720
<v Speaker 2>in my life, and I just was kind of on

0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:35.600
<v Speaker 2>my own sort of clock doing social media jobs and

0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:36.319
<v Speaker 2>stuff like that.

0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.800
<v Speaker 1>So I didn't which I loved Jason.

0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:44.360
<v Speaker 2>I think he doesn't, but I, you know, I didn't

0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:45.839
<v Speaker 2>have that preciure to go back, and I just think

0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 2>how tender I was three months you know, postparder.

0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.959
<v Speaker 1>Do you look back now going that was? That was

0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.240
<v Speaker 1>pretty hard? Yeah?

0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:55.920
<v Speaker 3>I do.

0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:59.720
<v Speaker 1>But I did it again with my second child, so

0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:03.559
<v Speaker 1>like because I went back, and like, I don't want

0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:04.680
<v Speaker 1>it to be a whole with me because it was

0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:08.120
<v Speaker 1>a soon I made. But it was so I would

0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:10.640
<v Speaker 1>get up at three am because I was still breastfeeding.

0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:13.160
<v Speaker 1>It was like one feed during the night, and then

0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:17.200
<v Speaker 1>I'd get up at three am and I'd pump, and

0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:20.440
<v Speaker 1>then I'd go to work do the show. I tried to.

0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.000
<v Speaker 1>I tried to pump at work, but it's very hard

0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 1>when you're doing stuff can't do it and someone.

0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:36.480
<v Speaker 3>Excuse, oh god, I don't miss a noise, and.

0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:38.120
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, then I'd have to like race home and

0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:40.679
<v Speaker 1>like feed and yeah, and then you have to instantly

0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.240
<v Speaker 1>and you get home, like switch into like mum mode

0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.480
<v Speaker 1>and you know, get the heels off, take your makeup off,

0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:49.839
<v Speaker 1>get into some you know. So in theory again, I

0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:51.680
<v Speaker 1>thought it would be great, but then when I did it,

0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:54.240
<v Speaker 1>I was like, shit, this is just like it's hard.

0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.640
<v Speaker 1>Like with Bastie, I was just my first my son,

0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 1>my first one. I was just like vital flight. I

0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:06.120
<v Speaker 1>was just flailing. It was just and I hated breastfeeding him,

0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:07.280
<v Speaker 1>hated it.

0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.480
<v Speaker 2>And well maybe that's I mean, look, I look at

0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:12.120
<v Speaker 2>you now with toe and I'm just saying, how do

0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:15.079
<v Speaker 2>you do it? Because I've I've got Charlie who's toddler,

0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:17.240
<v Speaker 2>and I just came back into work this year, and

0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:21.360
<v Speaker 2>I just thinks, how is she doing not just one,

0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:21.800
<v Speaker 2>but two?

0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:24.640
<v Speaker 1>And now I'm obviously about to embark on that journey.

0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:28.120
<v Speaker 2>But do you think that motherhood, You know, over time,

0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:31.080
<v Speaker 2>it does start to feel a little bit more natural

0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.200
<v Speaker 2>and you start to relax a little bit where you

0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:35.920
<v Speaker 2>were pretty uptight the first time around.

0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.040
<v Speaker 1>That's the one thing I was going to tell you

0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:42.960
<v Speaker 1>is that the first time around is so scary because

0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:45.480
<v Speaker 1>you're like, oh my god, everything is new. You're doing

0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:48.040
<v Speaker 1>everything for the first time. So you're giving birth for

0:14:48.080 --> 0:14:49.760
<v Speaker 1>the first time, you're breastfeeding for the first time, or

0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.040
<v Speaker 1>feeding them however, and everything is like oh my god,

0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 1>and I don't just keep them alive. Second time, you're like, oh,

0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.480
<v Speaker 1>I've done this before. Ah yeah, I got this. Like

0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.280
<v Speaker 1>especially you've got like, you know, a two year age gap.

0:15:02.640 --> 0:15:05.320
<v Speaker 1>It will come back to you and you'll just be like, oh,

0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:07.440
<v Speaker 1>it's all good and you're exactly right. Like the first

0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:10.920
<v Speaker 1>time around, I was so up tired about everything this time.

0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:13.720
<v Speaker 1>Maybe that's why I is like a little bit like

0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.800
<v Speaker 1>stroppy and can hold her own because she's just kind

0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.920
<v Speaker 1>of been left to figure it out a little bit.

0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:20.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm like, should be right, mate, should be right. Well.

0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:25.520
<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of people say about this second.

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:28.440
<v Speaker 2>One of my big fears, I mean, going into having

0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:31.720
<v Speaker 2>Charlie the first time and now going into a second

0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:33.920
<v Speaker 2>is the impact.

0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:34.360
<v Speaker 1>On the relationship.

0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:39.600
<v Speaker 2>And you know, when you're in the trenches, it's he's tough,

0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.440
<v Speaker 2>and when you're tired in this sleep deprivation? Do you

0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:44.200
<v Speaker 2>have any advice on that?

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:48.760
<v Speaker 1>Les? How were you? I don't know how personal you

0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:50.920
<v Speaker 1>want to get here, but it's like, how are you, guys?

0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:53.320
<v Speaker 1>How are you after Charlie?

0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.160
<v Speaker 2>I mean, look, there were definitely tough times, but BJ

0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.680
<v Speaker 2>is a very hands on dad. I'm very the air

0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:06.200
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, and I think that really helps. And I

0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:10.160
<v Speaker 2>think I mean, look, I feel like lots of times

0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:13.720
<v Speaker 2>when you've got the sleep deprivation and you're really in

0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:17.160
<v Speaker 2>the trenches, it's pretty hard to assess.

0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.200
<v Speaker 1>That time, like it's almost a bit of a write off.

0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:21.840
<v Speaker 2>But once you come through, I just think it's really

0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:26.640
<v Speaker 2>important to communicate and just get on the same level

0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:31.400
<v Speaker 2>and like, and it takes a while to come back

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:33.640
<v Speaker 2>to feeling human. And I think once you boys start

0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 2>to feel a bit human again, then you can kind

0:16:35.760 --> 0:16:37.480
<v Speaker 2>of properly converse.

0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:40.640
<v Speaker 1>But for a while, it's like so alien and I

0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 1>know we're going to.

0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:43.480
<v Speaker 2>Go through that again because some people I've had some

0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:46.240
<v Speaker 2>comments to me, like I love a people who think

0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:48.880
<v Speaker 2>it's hard with one, Oh my god, Like it's just

0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:51.240
<v Speaker 2>about to you know, really kick off.

0:16:56.600 --> 0:17:01.280
<v Speaker 1>It's not always something you just you just like ban

0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:06.240
<v Speaker 1>cut the sleep now, Like, yeah, you'll be fine. Honestly,

0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:09.480
<v Speaker 1>I think a lot of people say one is fine,

0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:12.640
<v Speaker 1>two is a million or whatever it is. But there's

0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:15.720
<v Speaker 1>two of you, there's two kids, like and it always

0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, it feels tough when they're a newborn and

0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.199
<v Speaker 1>they need you all the time. But like, now that

0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:22.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm out the other side of that, you can see

0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:26.520
<v Speaker 1>how fast it goes. It Like, I still feels like

0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:29.119
<v Speaker 1>a baby to me. She's just turned two, So like,

0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:33.119
<v Speaker 1>it goes so fast. You'll feel every single day, but

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:35.600
<v Speaker 1>the year will fly by, you know. And then suddenly

0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:38.480
<v Speaker 1>as soon as they walk and stuff like, you can

0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:40.480
<v Speaker 1>like leave them to play with each other. And that's

0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:42.399
<v Speaker 1>the most incredible thing. They actually spend a lot of

0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:45.160
<v Speaker 1>time entertaining each other and I only have to jump

0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:50.119
<v Speaker 1>in when there's a fight and one is threatened. Yeah,

0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:56.000
<v Speaker 1>So like, honestly, until your bebt walks, you know that's

0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:57.919
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna be very hands on. But that can go,

0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:00.679
<v Speaker 1>like can some people walking at nights? They could go

0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:03.160
<v Speaker 1>in a year And then suddenly you know, you got

0:18:03.160 --> 0:18:06.480
<v Speaker 1>a little human and she I'm convinced it's a sheep.

0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:09.399
<v Speaker 2>I'm convinced it's a sheet, but I don't know. Charlie

0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:13.400
<v Speaker 2>always goes girl, baby girl, Charlie, is it a baby

0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:16.280
<v Speaker 2>boy or girl? And he goes girl, but then sometimes

0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.240
<v Speaker 2>he'll say boy. Although today he freaked me out and

0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.960
<v Speaker 2>he goes baby gone and I was like what and

0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:23.480
<v Speaker 2>he goes, no, baby girl.

0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh Jesus, Charlie, how have we never spoken about like

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:30.000
<v Speaker 1>births and stuff.

0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:35.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what was yours? Like both both emergency cesareans.

0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 2>Mine was an emergency Caesar two. Yeah, welcome to the club.

0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:44.560
<v Speaker 2>But were you upset about it? Had you asked me

0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:46.800
<v Speaker 2>a week before, I would have thought I would have

0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:47.680
<v Speaker 2>been so gutted.

0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:50.800
<v Speaker 1>Uh. You know. I went in doing hypno birth thing

0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:52.040
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, this is going to be as

0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:52.800
<v Speaker 1>natural as possible.

0:18:52.840 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 2>And I remember the night before going into labor Beja.

0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I was like, hey, what happens if things work out?

0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:04.800
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, that's how you manifest bad things, and

0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:06.880
<v Speaker 2>like I went off and that was obviously the hall

0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:10.320
<v Speaker 2>bones because I was about to go into labor and

0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:13.199
<v Speaker 2>he was like, no, we just need a plan bing

0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:17.760
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, anyway, next day, go on to

0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:23.480
<v Speaker 2>labor at about seven o'clock at night and then Mom

0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.120
<v Speaker 2>came out, BJ went to sleep for a bit. Mom

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.240
<v Speaker 2>and I were chilling in the bath, so I was

0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:31.120
<v Speaker 2>just trying to get comfortable. We left time at about

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:34.359
<v Speaker 2>one am. I remember seeing two beautiful deer as we're

0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.000
<v Speaker 2>driving down. The driver I was like, oh my god,

0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:39.280
<v Speaker 2>it was like this really beautiful. Okay, this is this

0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:44.560
<v Speaker 2>is it. It was like a weird I don't know,

0:19:44.600 --> 0:19:48.080
<v Speaker 2>a good omen, I guess yeah yeah, and the omen

0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:53.879
<v Speaker 2>yeah fuck. That drive was horrendous, so bad. Why do

0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:57.440
<v Speaker 2>they not let you get on like all fours.

0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:58.520
<v Speaker 1>And the car? That was all I wanted to do,

0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:03.280
<v Speaker 1>like harming over no farming.

0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:07.600
<v Speaker 2>For one split second, we get to the hospital and

0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:10.159
<v Speaker 2>I thought, how many was I?

0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:12.680
<v Speaker 1>How many? What's that? Oh my god? What I was dilated?

0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:15.719
<v Speaker 1>Is dilated? Yeah? Yeah, just all the terminology.

0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:17.440
<v Speaker 2>Is coming back. I want to say I was three

0:20:17.520 --> 0:20:19.280
<v Speaker 2>or four cinematas dilated.

0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:24.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, and then quite halfway, no, I was it more

0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:28.639
<v Speaker 1>like it was it felt like a decent amount. And

0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:31.000
<v Speaker 1>and then it was like I was laboring quite quickly,

0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:32.840
<v Speaker 1>and it was like my midwife was like, all right,

0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.359
<v Speaker 1>it feels like we're almost on here. Then basically Charlie

0:20:35.400 --> 0:20:41.240
<v Speaker 1>got stuck posterior, horrendous, horrendous noises and sewed.

0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:45.040
<v Speaker 2>But I look back with the roasters to glasses, I'm like,

0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:46.080
<v Speaker 2>let's do it again.

0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 1>Again.

0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:54.720
<v Speaker 2>But once it happened, you know, absolutely absolutely no regret

0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:57.560
<v Speaker 2>or shame or anything. I was just stoked. He was

0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:02.600
<v Speaker 2>alive and safe and well and that was all that mattered.

0:21:02.600 --> 0:21:04.160
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, what, I yes so much?

0:21:04.440 --> 0:21:06.919
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what I mean? Yeah? Do you know?

0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:10.800
<v Speaker 1>And both times, like I tried so hard. I really

0:21:10.840 --> 0:21:13.160
<v Speaker 1>wanted to, like I don't know why. I don't know why,

0:21:13.160 --> 0:21:17.160
<v Speaker 1>befot's pressure myselfs And also it sounds horrendous. Anyone who's

0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:19.920
<v Speaker 1>had a bagetal birth, it sounds like painful.

0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:22.880
<v Speaker 2>There are there are I think there are some really

0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:24.720
<v Speaker 2>blessed ones that I don't know, Like have you've seen

0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:28.240
<v Speaker 2>those YouTube? But it's like painfree and it's totally and

0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:29.159
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to do that.

0:21:29.960 --> 0:21:31.800
<v Speaker 1>It's so not like me. But I wanted to do

0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:33.280
<v Speaker 1>the natural birth and I was going to breathe my

0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:34.880
<v Speaker 1>way through it. And then I was like amy joy

0:21:35.440 --> 0:21:39.240
<v Speaker 1>and then emergencies AIRI and I just cried and I

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:41.399
<v Speaker 1>was like I don't want to and then we're like

0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:43.840
<v Speaker 1>everyone's going, well, the baby needs to just come out

0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:47.480
<v Speaker 1>in the safest way, and I was like fine, So

0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:49.560
<v Speaker 1>we did it. But the first time around it was

0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:52.119
<v Speaker 1>quite brutal because I needed to have a spinal tap

0:21:52.680 --> 0:21:55.560
<v Speaker 1>in the end because my epidural wore off, so I

0:21:55.600 --> 0:22:00.200
<v Speaker 1>couldn't feel anything from my nick down and I was

0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:03.479
<v Speaker 1>just like completely numb. But then I started to I

0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:06.720
<v Speaker 1>had to have pithadone. I don't even remember why, and

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:09.960
<v Speaker 1>then I started shaking, and so I was pretty much

0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:13.920
<v Speaker 1>kind of out of it when my son was born.

0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:17.880
<v Speaker 1>So Andrew, my husband, filmed a video. I don't remember it,

0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:21.000
<v Speaker 1>but I was awake, but I'm so grateful that he

0:22:21.160 --> 0:22:26.280
<v Speaker 1>filmed when basically got put on me. Yeah, the only

0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 1>thing I remember not seeing him, but I remember thinking,

0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:30.800
<v Speaker 1>get him off me because I'm gonna drop him because

0:22:30.840 --> 0:22:33.880
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't feel anything, and obviously they were holding him,

0:22:34.320 --> 0:22:36.160
<v Speaker 1>but my first thought was get him off me. He's

0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:38.520
<v Speaker 1>gonna fall on the floor. And that's all I remember.

0:22:38.680 --> 0:22:41.280
<v Speaker 1>So I'm so thankful that he's got a video of it,

0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:44.040
<v Speaker 1>because I actually spoke to him and I was like,

0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:46.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, I was like my baby, But I don't

0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:49.080
<v Speaker 1>remember any of that. Yeah, so it was like, really,

0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:58.120
<v Speaker 1>it was a really tough first outing. Did you when

0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:00.840
<v Speaker 1>you were pregnant first time? And now that you know

0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:07.639
<v Speaker 1>you're pregod second time? Have you googled more or less? Less?

0:23:07.680 --> 0:23:08.760
<v Speaker 1>Wildly less?

0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:11.120
<v Speaker 2>And oh my god, I wish you could the voice

0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:14.240
<v Speaker 2>notes that I sent to my midwife the first time round.

0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:18.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, You're like, is this normal? Is everything? Is this normal?

0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:21.680
<v Speaker 1>It's normal when coms a pleading, when I brush my teeth?

0:23:21.880 --> 0:23:25.600
<v Speaker 1>Am I dying? I've just haaid a kebab and I'm

0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:28.800
<v Speaker 1>worried that maybe do you think the kebab meat might

0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:29.719
<v Speaker 1>be a little bit funny?

0:23:29.760 --> 0:23:32.520
<v Speaker 2>She's so like Rea suing every time I actually see

0:23:32.560 --> 0:23:35.040
<v Speaker 2>her my voice first voice message in a long time

0:23:35.080 --> 0:23:39.080
<v Speaker 2>this morning, just saying, oh wait, what did I say.

0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:44.639
<v Speaker 1>Today? It is your resident, It's Teresa. I'm just be

0:23:44.760 --> 0:23:45.760
<v Speaker 1>strong because.

0:23:45.640 --> 0:23:47.840
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I've even felt lots of kicks consistently.

0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:50.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like sometimes I do feel a lot of flutters,

0:23:50.080 --> 0:23:52.280
<v Speaker 1>and then I'm like, oh my god, should be feeling more?

0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:54.840
<v Speaker 1>Should I be showing more? I feel like I'm fed,

0:23:54.960 --> 0:23:57.320
<v Speaker 1>Like my belly is beat at this time, and it's

0:23:57.359 --> 0:23:58.879
<v Speaker 1>soft and not such.

0:23:58.720 --> 0:24:01.880
<v Speaker 2>An obvious one, but I'm definitely bigger, and I'm sure

0:24:01.680 --> 0:24:02.000
<v Speaker 2>it is.

0:24:02.760 --> 0:24:04.320
<v Speaker 1>It just doesn't feel very consistent in it.

0:24:06.200 --> 0:24:09.520
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes I like, I don't know, is it almost been

0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:11.560
<v Speaker 2>coming to like chicken heartpet or do you think I

0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:12.880
<v Speaker 2>know something had happened?

0:24:13.640 --> 0:24:14.639
<v Speaker 1>Next page?

0:24:15.640 --> 0:24:18.720
<v Speaker 2>Also, the headaches have been awful this time around.

0:24:18.800 --> 0:24:21.600
<v Speaker 1>Yes, So anyway, she's freaking amazing. She sent me back

0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:22.520
<v Speaker 1>in an amazing.

0:24:22.320 --> 0:24:26.040
<v Speaker 2>Reassuring voice message, saying, look, we don't even start monitoring

0:24:26.080 --> 0:24:27.760
<v Speaker 2>the kicks from like twenty five weeks.

0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:29.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't need to be consistent because.

0:24:29.160 --> 0:24:32.439
<v Speaker 2>I just felt like little flutters and bubbles and all

0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:34.680
<v Speaker 2>that kind of stuff. But I just can't remember last

0:24:34.760 --> 0:24:37.119
<v Speaker 2>like when I felt stuff last time.

0:24:37.960 --> 0:24:40.399
<v Speaker 1>I think it's about around twenty weeks. You get kind

0:24:40.440 --> 0:24:45.080
<v Speaker 1>of consistent, Yeah, feelings did you feel in the second time?

0:24:45.280 --> 0:24:48.320
<v Speaker 1>The baby? Just like everything is softer. I just feel

0:24:48.600 --> 0:24:51.440
<v Speaker 1>like I did not look cute. I did not look

0:24:51.480 --> 0:24:57.040
<v Speaker 1>cute with my bombs. You think that, but you you do,

0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:01.440
<v Speaker 1>and like, just do I will I look back even

0:25:01.440 --> 0:25:03.680
<v Speaker 1>if you never put them anywhere. Just take photos of

0:25:03.720 --> 0:25:07.159
<v Speaker 1>yourself because I've got like a handful because I was

0:25:07.200 --> 0:25:09.959
<v Speaker 1>such a baby about it. Like, just take photos of yourself.

0:25:10.320 --> 0:25:13.120
<v Speaker 1>Just for your own thing, you know, but you're right,

0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:16.080
<v Speaker 1>Like the bump shows earlier. It's because your muscles and

0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:20.520
<v Speaker 1>everything are like they know what they're doing. They're right again,

0:25:21.320 --> 0:25:24.520
<v Speaker 1>everyone shows a bit earlier. Sometimes it's a bit lower,

0:25:24.760 --> 0:25:28.400
<v Speaker 1>like you know, you might find that something's I feel

0:25:28.480 --> 0:25:33.600
<v Speaker 1>like the shape of my stomach has changed, yes, like forever,

0:25:34.240 --> 0:25:36.479
<v Speaker 1>Like there's certain parts of you that might change forever.

0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:38.400
<v Speaker 1>Like my boobs are a bit saggier.

0:25:38.840 --> 0:25:40.800
<v Speaker 2>So saggy, and I don't know how I'm gonna do

0:25:42.119 --> 0:25:45.360
<v Speaker 2>like they are like so si and like now they've

0:25:45.400 --> 0:25:46.720
<v Speaker 2>got like all koshy again.

0:25:46.800 --> 0:25:47.920
<v Speaker 1>They've all got coshy again.

0:25:48.240 --> 0:25:52.520
<v Speaker 2>And nice because I'm pregnant, but you wait till boast breastfeeding.

0:25:52.840 --> 0:25:54.520
<v Speaker 2>But it's just part of it, and it's part of

0:25:54.520 --> 0:25:57.639
<v Speaker 2>it and we have to, you know, embrace it because

0:25:57.720 --> 0:26:00.040
<v Speaker 2>what our body has actually created.

0:26:00.440 --> 0:26:05.719
<v Speaker 1>Is something that you wouldn't trade anything in the world. Yeah. Yeah,

0:26:06.240 --> 0:26:06.880
<v Speaker 1>you're amazing.

0:26:08.080 --> 0:26:10.159
<v Speaker 2>Oh I was going to talk about actually body confidence

0:26:10.400 --> 0:26:15.760
<v Speaker 2>just yeah, because it feels so trivial to be insecure

0:26:15.960 --> 0:26:18.200
<v Speaker 2>during a time where you're creating a human But it's

0:26:18.200 --> 0:26:24.159
<v Speaker 2>something I really struggle with continuing to be able to

0:26:24.160 --> 0:26:28.359
<v Speaker 2>be positive about. Yeah, and it feels so much trivial

0:26:28.400 --> 0:26:31.639
<v Speaker 2>when so many people have so many issues actually falling

0:26:31.680 --> 0:26:33.960
<v Speaker 2>pregnant in the first place. You hear, am I worried

0:26:33.960 --> 0:26:37.359
<v Speaker 2>about how my fucking leags look. It's just so stupid,

0:26:37.359 --> 0:26:38.480
<v Speaker 2>but I can't knock it out my head.

0:26:39.280 --> 0:26:42.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but it's all relative to you, right, Like, how

0:26:42.160 --> 0:26:45.280
<v Speaker 1>do you okay? So, say you needed to go to

0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:48.199
<v Speaker 1>like some radio function and you need to get dressed up,

0:26:48.240 --> 0:26:50.800
<v Speaker 1>how initially, how are you feeling right now?

0:26:50.840 --> 0:26:53.880
<v Speaker 2>I just don't have to dress myself because I feel

0:26:53.920 --> 0:26:56.400
<v Speaker 2>like I'm in the between bays, Like I don't look

0:26:56.440 --> 0:26:59.000
<v Speaker 2>good in the maternity gear, I don't look.

0:26:58.800 --> 0:27:01.080
<v Speaker 1>Good in normal gear, so I try the beggy stuff.

0:27:01.119 --> 0:27:03.119
<v Speaker 1>But I'm so sure and I just look stupid, like

0:27:03.119 --> 0:27:04.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm we're in a bag, you know.

0:27:04.920 --> 0:27:07.520
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just that in between phase particularly, and

0:27:07.600 --> 0:27:09.600
<v Speaker 2>like because I've been keeping it on the d LO,

0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:12.040
<v Speaker 2>I haven't really fully been able to embrace the bump.

0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:17.439
<v Speaker 2>And it's just that kind of like your identity is

0:27:17.560 --> 0:27:20.080
<v Speaker 2>challenged quite a lot along the way. I think when

0:27:20.119 --> 0:27:23.840
<v Speaker 2>you're so fixated on how you were and you just

0:27:23.880 --> 0:27:25.720
<v Speaker 2>have to know that you just keep changing. But I

0:27:25.760 --> 0:27:29.520
<v Speaker 2>think this time I have the reassurance of I got

0:27:29.520 --> 0:27:32.240
<v Speaker 2>through it last time. I remember feeling like this last time,

0:27:32.280 --> 0:27:34.760
<v Speaker 2>but I remember coming out the other side and actually

0:27:35.080 --> 0:27:37.439
<v Speaker 2>running a half marathon, not straight a back like a.

0:27:37.440 --> 0:27:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Couple of years ago.

0:27:38.080 --> 0:27:42.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, your body does bounce back in time, however

0:27:42.680 --> 0:27:46.240
<v Speaker 2>that looks for you, and it's just taking it pressure off.

0:27:46.359 --> 0:27:52.080
<v Speaker 2>But it still doesn't mean that you have those body

0:27:52.080 --> 0:27:53.400
<v Speaker 2>image struggles along the way.

0:27:54.080 --> 0:27:58.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but you also don't like I don't like saying

0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:04.080
<v Speaker 1>bounce back. Hate doesn't need to know you body. You

0:28:04.160 --> 0:28:06.120
<v Speaker 1>never lost your body. It doesn't have to come back,

0:28:06.600 --> 0:28:08.439
<v Speaker 1>and it's probably not going to be the same. It

0:28:08.440 --> 0:28:10.199
<v Speaker 1>can be different, but it can still be strong and

0:28:10.240 --> 0:28:12.480
<v Speaker 1>it can still be And like I'm saying this to

0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:15.000
<v Speaker 1>you as someone who went through exactly what you're going

0:28:15.040 --> 0:28:17.720
<v Speaker 1>through and like didn't want photos taken of me and

0:28:17.920 --> 0:28:22.440
<v Speaker 1>was just like constantly feeling like you're a lump and

0:28:23.160 --> 0:28:25.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, like everything it's not only what you can see,

0:28:25.359 --> 0:28:27.840
<v Speaker 1>and it's not just like weight and stuff. It's the

0:28:27.880 --> 0:28:30.040
<v Speaker 1>fact that you're tired. It's the fact that your feet hurt,

0:28:30.040 --> 0:28:32.119
<v Speaker 1>it's the fact that your guns are bleeding, it's you know,

0:28:32.240 --> 0:28:36.639
<v Speaker 1>like it's all of the extra boobs and tenre yeah yeah,

0:28:36.680 --> 0:28:39.560
<v Speaker 1>and that so you're spelling and everything makes you feel sick,

0:28:39.680 --> 0:28:43.480
<v Speaker 1>and it's all of it all makes you feel gross.

0:28:43.560 --> 0:28:45.680
<v Speaker 1>It totally does. And I do find that there'll be

0:28:45.760 --> 0:28:47.440
<v Speaker 1>days where I am feeling better and I'm like, hang on,

0:28:47.480 --> 0:28:49.640
<v Speaker 1>why was I so harsh for myself yesterday?

0:28:50.360 --> 0:28:52.600
<v Speaker 2>And even if I just do like a light work hard,

0:28:52.880 --> 0:28:54.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm not like going hard out or whatever.

0:28:54.480 --> 0:28:56.239
<v Speaker 2>But when I do feel good in those moments, I'll

0:28:56.280 --> 0:28:58.320
<v Speaker 2>try and like member body more and I will find

0:28:58.360 --> 0:28:59.160
<v Speaker 2>that that does.

0:28:59.000 --> 0:29:01.360
<v Speaker 1>Give me that boost of confident. And it's such a

0:29:01.400 --> 0:29:05.560
<v Speaker 1>mental mental thing, like the more you move, the more

0:29:05.600 --> 0:29:08.640
<v Speaker 1>you feel like you're actually nuturing your body. Then you

0:29:08.720 --> 0:29:13.080
<v Speaker 1>do you do wrap the benefits from it, but you

0:29:13.240 --> 0:29:15.920
<v Speaker 1>just need to slow it down.

0:29:17.320 --> 0:29:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Well, actually, I well, this is where we get into

0:29:20.440 --> 0:29:23.840
<v Speaker 2>the podcast where we talk about the practices that you

0:29:24.080 --> 0:29:26.920
<v Speaker 2>like to do that you know will keep you saying,

0:29:26.920 --> 0:29:30.320
<v Speaker 2>because you're incredibly busy, you're working, you've got two little kids,

0:29:31.280 --> 0:29:35.440
<v Speaker 2>how does me again making beautiful puppaus stay sane in

0:29:35.440 --> 0:29:36.040
<v Speaker 2>the chaos?

0:29:38.720 --> 0:29:42.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean the chaos. I remember going to my therapist

0:29:42.800 --> 0:29:45.040
<v Speaker 1>and I'm always like trying to get him to fix

0:29:45.160 --> 0:29:48.960
<v Speaker 1>my realities. And he's kind of just like you've got

0:29:48.960 --> 0:29:52.240
<v Speaker 1>to get comfortable in the chaos, like just breathe and

0:29:52.280 --> 0:29:54.719
<v Speaker 1>be like let it all flow around you. And like

0:29:55.600 --> 0:29:58.120
<v Speaker 1>that's so true with two kids. I'm trying to control

0:29:58.240 --> 0:30:01.240
<v Speaker 1>these little people who don't want to be controlled, and

0:30:01.320 --> 0:30:05.040
<v Speaker 1>so I'm trying, I said, so everyday thing, I'm trying

0:30:05.080 --> 0:30:07.800
<v Speaker 1>to just breathe and be like does this matter in

0:30:07.880 --> 0:30:10.800
<v Speaker 1>this moment? Does this matter? You're like fighting trying to

0:30:10.840 --> 0:30:12.920
<v Speaker 1>get shoes on because you've got to get out the door.

0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:16.040
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, she's going in the car with barefeeta,

0:30:16.200 --> 0:30:19.600
<v Speaker 1>take the shoes, and like, does this matter if she's

0:30:19.600 --> 0:30:21.320
<v Speaker 1>not wearing what I wanted to wear, she's wearing a

0:30:21.400 --> 0:30:24.880
<v Speaker 1>hive's vest with her tutu and gum boots. Does it matter?

0:30:26.440 --> 0:30:31.640
<v Speaker 1>Notice that I always say she Okay, we found the

0:30:31.720 --> 0:30:36.760
<v Speaker 1>rebel in the duo, but like, honestly, just like be

0:30:36.840 --> 0:30:39.880
<v Speaker 1>comfortable in the manness. Because we used to always say

0:30:40.000 --> 0:30:42.880
<v Speaker 1>me and Andrew that we just need to get through this,

0:30:43.280 --> 0:30:45.560
<v Speaker 1>if we just get through this week, because every week

0:30:45.720 --> 0:30:48.840
<v Speaker 1>was busy, but then it never changed, like you just

0:30:48.960 --> 0:30:52.360
<v Speaker 1>constantly got stuff happening. So we tried to stop doing

0:30:52.400 --> 0:30:55.240
<v Speaker 1>that and just be like we're just comfortable. We just

0:30:55.280 --> 0:30:59.680
<v Speaker 1>need to breathe. Nothing is heart surgery in our life,

0:30:59.800 --> 0:31:03.480
<v Speaker 1>like we might be doing a podcast or you know,

0:31:03.600 --> 0:31:07.960
<v Speaker 1>like it's just yarning. Nothing is that important. We're not

0:31:08.000 --> 0:31:11.760
<v Speaker 1>saving lives for your sanity, you know. Yeah. And like

0:31:11.840 --> 0:31:15.800
<v Speaker 1>even because I had reflux, so she cried a lot

0:31:15.920 --> 0:31:19.600
<v Speaker 1>as a baby, and it would just you know, like

0:31:19.960 --> 0:31:23.280
<v Speaker 1>a crying baby is just so hard on your mental health.

0:31:23.880 --> 0:31:26.560
<v Speaker 1>And so for a long time, every time she would cry,

0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:29.000
<v Speaker 1>I'd just be really triggered and I'd kind of melt down.

0:31:29.440 --> 0:31:33.560
<v Speaker 1>And Andrew's like, she is okay, she's crying because she's

0:31:33.600 --> 0:31:37.280
<v Speaker 1>having a meltdown. She's safe, she's feared, she's got to clean,

0:31:37.360 --> 0:31:41.360
<v Speaker 1>like there's nothing wrong with her. Just like breathe and

0:31:41.640 --> 0:31:44.720
<v Speaker 1>take take a moment. Like I used to go away

0:31:44.760 --> 0:31:47.600
<v Speaker 1>and take a moment for myself even when she was crying,

0:31:48.400 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 1>Like she'd be in her cot and I'd go away

0:31:50.200 --> 0:31:53.280
<v Speaker 1>and I'd be like I need a moment for myself

0:31:53.960 --> 0:31:57.000
<v Speaker 1>just to like breathe and be like, Okay, go back

0:31:57.000 --> 0:31:57.280
<v Speaker 1>in there.

0:31:57.400 --> 0:32:01.880
<v Speaker 2>She is safe, she is well feed, she's okay, she's crying. Yeah,

0:32:01.920 --> 0:32:03.920
<v Speaker 2>but you actually have to tend to yourself in those

0:32:03.960 --> 0:32:05.680
<v Speaker 2>moments or else, Yes.

0:32:05.640 --> 0:32:08.200
<v Speaker 1>You're just praying from me, you can't cry, or you're

0:32:08.240 --> 0:32:11.600
<v Speaker 1>gonna you know, you're just gonna yell, or I don't know,

0:32:11.720 --> 0:32:13.640
<v Speaker 1>you're just gonna. It's not gonna be good for her

0:32:13.800 --> 0:32:15.640
<v Speaker 1>or good for you. So I just go away and

0:32:15.640 --> 0:32:20.720
<v Speaker 1>I go what matters in this moment? What matters in

0:32:20.760 --> 0:32:21.240
<v Speaker 1>this moment?

0:32:21.440 --> 0:32:25.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, packing your battles, I'm learning now two year old,

0:32:25.040 --> 0:32:26.120
<v Speaker 2>that is very important.

0:32:26.200 --> 0:32:27.680
<v Speaker 1>Who cares if he goes to be with an onion?

0:32:27.800 --> 0:32:28.560
<v Speaker 1>Is it hurting anyone?

0:32:28.680 --> 0:32:28.920
<v Speaker 3>No?

0:32:31.920 --> 0:32:32.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god?

0:32:32.920 --> 0:32:34.160
<v Speaker 3>Why did they take weird shit?

0:32:34.240 --> 0:32:37.160
<v Speaker 1>To be honestly? Now he has to take a dog

0:32:37.280 --> 0:32:37.640
<v Speaker 1>to the beard.

0:32:37.680 --> 0:32:39.360
<v Speaker 2>So I'm like, okay, come on figgie, like it's my

0:32:39.400 --> 0:32:41.120
<v Speaker 2>only way of getting him to bed? Or does he

0:32:41.160 --> 0:32:45.640
<v Speaker 2>bring in the wheelbarrow? Does he bring in like freaking digger, whatever, it'll.

0:32:45.480 --> 0:32:46.960
<v Speaker 1>Get him to bed? And I'm like, am I just

0:32:46.960 --> 0:32:51.840
<v Speaker 1>being a push over mum? Probably? Nah? Like they just

0:32:51.920 --> 0:32:54.440
<v Speaker 1>attached to things like I has to go to sleep

0:32:54.440 --> 0:32:57.280
<v Speaker 1>with one of those Mowana Disney cards every night at

0:32:57.280 --> 0:32:58.959
<v Speaker 1>the moment, and then last night I took it off

0:32:58.960 --> 0:33:00.040
<v Speaker 1>her because I was like, well, I don't want to

0:33:00.160 --> 0:33:02.040
<v Speaker 1>stick to her mouth or something, so like took it

0:33:02.080 --> 0:33:03.920
<v Speaker 1>out once she'd gone to sleep, and then in the

0:33:03.960 --> 0:33:08.400
<v Speaker 1>middle of the night she wakes up and she's like, ah,

0:33:08.600 --> 0:33:10.800
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh God, she can't find the card.

0:33:12.040 --> 0:33:14.360
<v Speaker 2>Like why can't they just like a cute little snugly

0:33:14.640 --> 0:33:17.640
<v Speaker 2>or she's got four bunnies in there with her cut

0:33:17.640 --> 0:33:20.640
<v Speaker 2>on one of him. Wake it's going to be hard

0:33:20.920 --> 0:33:25.800
<v Speaker 2>and random the object. But oh, it's so true. Like

0:33:26.240 --> 0:33:28.280
<v Speaker 2>I think we're all really guilty of the site going oh,

0:33:28.320 --> 0:33:31.240
<v Speaker 2>it'll be better win dot dot and it's just such a.

0:33:31.160 --> 0:33:34.160
<v Speaker 1>Messious cycles get through this. Yeah, yeah, it will be.

0:33:34.160 --> 0:33:36.040
<v Speaker 2>And maybe she's just gotta be like it's perfect now,

0:33:36.560 --> 0:33:40.320
<v Speaker 2>even though Bill's chaotic, it's actually perfect right now in

0:33:40.400 --> 0:33:42.880
<v Speaker 2>this moment, And I'm not going to have any other

0:33:42.880 --> 0:33:44.680
<v Speaker 2>moment like this, and I just have a freaking suck

0:33:44.720 --> 0:33:46.800
<v Speaker 2>it up because we will look back on these days

0:33:47.120 --> 0:33:49.560
<v Speaker 2>and we were just wish that we were more present.

0:33:50.440 --> 0:33:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And like I always think of like me when

0:33:55.120 --> 0:33:57.239
<v Speaker 1>I was younger, and I like even just when we

0:33:57.240 --> 0:34:00.840
<v Speaker 1>were trying to get pregnant, how desperate we were for

0:34:00.960 --> 0:34:03.360
<v Speaker 1>a baby. We were just we were just like we

0:34:03.600 --> 0:34:06.360
<v Speaker 1>just like one will be enough if we can never

0:34:06.400 --> 0:34:08.920
<v Speaker 1>do it again. And we were just desperate and now

0:34:08.960 --> 0:34:11.160
<v Speaker 1>we've got him. And like also when we were like

0:34:11.280 --> 0:34:13.319
<v Speaker 1>doing broadcasting school and stuff, we were like, we're just

0:34:13.360 --> 0:34:16.480
<v Speaker 1>desperate to have this radio gig. And you get these

0:34:16.520 --> 0:34:19.000
<v Speaker 1>things and then you're like right next and you're don't

0:34:19.040 --> 0:34:23.600
<v Speaker 1>freaking appreciate it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And like when

0:34:23.719 --> 0:34:26.160
<v Speaker 1>I stopped doing breakfast radio, like in the moment, you're like,

0:34:26.239 --> 0:34:29.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm so tired, it's so busy all this, and then

0:34:29.280 --> 0:34:31.080
<v Speaker 1>I stopped doing it for two years, and now that

0:34:31.120 --> 0:34:34.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm back here, I'm like, God, you need to appreciate this.

0:34:34.560 --> 0:34:37.839
<v Speaker 1>You need to stop breathe who cares about the early

0:34:37.920 --> 0:34:41.759
<v Speaker 1>mornings because you know you love it, Like, just appreciate everything.

0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:47.000
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, have you felt that since coming back?

0:34:48.200 --> 0:34:51.680
<v Speaker 2>Now you've got your two babies, you care less about

0:34:51.680 --> 0:34:52.279
<v Speaker 2>the shit that you.

0:34:52.280 --> 0:34:55.920
<v Speaker 1>Used to worry about pre babies.

0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:59.560
<v Speaker 2>In terms of comparing yourself to other people in the industry.

0:35:01.680 --> 0:35:04.319
<v Speaker 1>You want me to say, no, no, no, it's not.

0:35:04.400 --> 0:35:06.200
<v Speaker 2>I want you to be honest, because I still do

0:35:06.760 --> 0:35:09.240
<v Speaker 2>and like, no, I thought that when you have babies

0:35:09.280 --> 0:35:11.120
<v Speaker 2>you stop caring about that shit. And yes, I think

0:35:11.160 --> 0:35:13.720
<v Speaker 2>you do stop caring about a lot of superfluous stuff

0:35:13.880 --> 0:35:14.680
<v Speaker 2>that you used to.

0:35:14.640 --> 0:35:18.759
<v Speaker 1>See over Yeah, man, we still our brains still get

0:35:18.760 --> 0:35:19.600
<v Speaker 1>the bigger of us.

0:35:19.880 --> 0:35:21.799
<v Speaker 2>Like I look back and I feel like I was

0:35:21.840 --> 0:35:26.080
<v Speaker 2>so much more successful in some ways a few years ago,

0:35:27.480 --> 0:35:29.880
<v Speaker 2>and I look at myself now and you're like, oh

0:35:29.920 --> 0:35:31.239
<v Speaker 2>my god, I.

0:35:31.160 --> 0:35:32.200
<v Speaker 1>Have I gone backwards?

0:35:32.680 --> 0:35:35.120
<v Speaker 2>But no, because when I was in that position, all

0:35:35.160 --> 0:35:37.319
<v Speaker 2>I wanted was what I've got right now. And it's

0:35:37.360 --> 0:35:40.479
<v Speaker 2>back to that not appreciating what you've got.

0:35:40.680 --> 0:35:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, I couldn't everything you just said. Everything you

0:35:45.400 --> 0:35:51.719
<v Speaker 1>just said, because I obviously like left a show, and

0:35:52.200 --> 0:35:54.239
<v Speaker 1>I went through a whole period where I was like

0:35:55.440 --> 0:35:58.839
<v Speaker 1>do I want to put this on a podcast? When

0:35:58.880 --> 0:36:02.279
<v Speaker 1>I and I don't cry. I had a moment where

0:36:02.320 --> 0:36:07.920
<v Speaker 1>I was like do I regret this? And like I

0:36:07.960 --> 0:36:13.279
<v Speaker 1>had to fight to not regret having my child, and

0:36:13.320 --> 0:36:16.919
<v Speaker 1>I was like, have I ruined one thing and search

0:36:17.000 --> 0:36:23.160
<v Speaker 1>for another? And that's like, God, that's a lot, but

0:36:23.239 --> 0:36:25.920
<v Speaker 1>that's something that like women, I'm sure a lot of

0:36:25.960 --> 0:36:28.839
<v Speaker 1>women like think. And then now saying it out loud,

0:36:28.840 --> 0:36:31.839
<v Speaker 1>I feel so much shame because of course I don't

0:36:31.840 --> 0:36:35.120
<v Speaker 1>regret I know either, my babies are the best thing

0:36:35.160 --> 0:36:37.480
<v Speaker 1>and the best thing that's ever happened.

0:36:37.840 --> 0:36:39.640
<v Speaker 2>And you'd never ever trade them in for the world.

0:36:39.719 --> 0:36:42.880
<v Speaker 2>But when your ego comes in from a career perspective

0:36:43.080 --> 0:36:45.640
<v Speaker 2>and progress, and if you're looking at how the world

0:36:45.800 --> 0:36:51.040
<v Speaker 2>perceives you looking inside you know, then you can't help

0:36:51.080 --> 0:36:52.120
<v Speaker 2>but compare yourself.

0:36:52.120 --> 0:36:52.879
<v Speaker 1>But only you.

0:36:53.000 --> 0:36:58.560
<v Speaker 2>Know what truly matters to you, like truly truly matters

0:36:58.600 --> 0:37:02.000
<v Speaker 2>to you. But I think because the so much validation

0:37:02.160 --> 0:37:06.440
<v Speaker 2>needed online and there's so much people proving how successful

0:37:06.480 --> 0:37:09.960
<v Speaker 2>they are all the time, you can't help but feel

0:37:10.280 --> 0:37:11.400
<v Speaker 2>dragged into that game.

0:37:12.160 --> 0:37:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:37:13.160 --> 0:37:16.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when you know truly what brings you the most

0:37:16.200 --> 0:37:20.919
<v Speaker 2>joy is your family and your beautiful children. But when

0:37:20.920 --> 0:37:23.839
<v Speaker 2>you're feeling weaker, when you're feeling those days of insecurity,

0:37:24.320 --> 0:37:26.320
<v Speaker 2>you start having these Christians and you feel guilty a

0:37:26.360 --> 0:37:29.480
<v Speaker 2>one hundred percent of what you mean. But there's no

0:37:29.480 --> 0:37:31.800
<v Speaker 2>shame in that, because I think a lot of women

0:37:31.840 --> 0:37:34.240
<v Speaker 2>would have exactly the same moment.

0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:39.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and it is hard when you find so you've got.

0:37:40.560 --> 0:37:42.880
<v Speaker 1>I always think when your personal life is thriving, sometimes

0:37:42.960 --> 0:37:46.439
<v Speaker 1>your professional life is not, and vice versa. Like when

0:37:46.480 --> 0:37:51.160
<v Speaker 1>I was probably doing the best professionally I was like

0:37:51.880 --> 0:37:57.480
<v Speaker 1>having a meltdown. I was like having struggles with my relationship.

0:37:57.520 --> 0:38:01.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm like having fertility issues, Like I'm struggling to even

0:38:01.880 --> 0:38:03.840
<v Speaker 1>get out of bid to go and have laughs on

0:38:03.840 --> 0:38:06.960
<v Speaker 1>the radio. But I'm having the you know, prime of

0:38:06.960 --> 0:38:12.200
<v Speaker 1>my professional career and vice versa. You know, so you can't.

0:38:12.840 --> 0:38:14.600
<v Speaker 2>I always come back to this quote, you can have

0:38:14.640 --> 0:38:16.520
<v Speaker 2>it all, but just not at the same time.

0:38:17.480 --> 0:38:21.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you need to be happy with We don't

0:38:21.680 --> 0:38:24.719
<v Speaker 1>need to be happy, but you should try and find

0:38:24.719 --> 0:38:27.600
<v Speaker 1>the joy and everything you've got at each moment because

0:38:27.640 --> 0:38:32.160
<v Speaker 1>there is joy in each face one hundred and we

0:38:32.320 --> 0:38:34.799
<v Speaker 1>just have to do what we can to not look

0:38:35.239 --> 0:38:39.200
<v Speaker 1>no answer to that because I don't preach that kind

0:38:39.239 --> 0:38:42.760
<v Speaker 1>of stuff on that. Don't listen to that, but appreciate

0:38:42.800 --> 0:38:44.719
<v Speaker 1>what we've got in front of you. But still the

0:38:44.719 --> 0:38:50.200
<v Speaker 1>brain goes and I think, I think it is doing

0:38:50.280 --> 0:38:53.799
<v Speaker 1>things yet encourage your own self esteem and make you

0:38:53.800 --> 0:38:56.279
<v Speaker 1>feel better in yourself. So whether it is going to

0:38:56.280 --> 0:39:00.400
<v Speaker 1>your little pilates class, or whether it's surrounding for the

0:39:00.440 --> 0:39:05.600
<v Speaker 1>right people or doing you know, like positive informations which

0:39:05.640 --> 0:39:08.600
<v Speaker 1>to some people might send corny, but whatever it is

0:39:09.800 --> 0:39:13.800
<v Speaker 1>that you can do to come back to you're really

0:39:14.200 --> 0:39:15.879
<v Speaker 1>your strong place, do you know what I mean?

0:39:15.920 --> 0:39:18.120
<v Speaker 2>Where you are feeling confident in yourself and that looks

0:39:18.120 --> 0:39:18.920
<v Speaker 2>different for everyone.

0:39:19.680 --> 0:39:23.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I do. Like this is so corny, but like

0:39:23.920 --> 0:39:26.960
<v Speaker 1>I've started trying to because I've forever been the person

0:39:27.000 --> 0:39:28.719
<v Speaker 1>that would like look in the mirror, specially when you're

0:39:28.760 --> 0:39:31.600
<v Speaker 1>naked and be like ugh, saggy burt, or like say

0:39:31.640 --> 0:39:34.759
<v Speaker 1>horrible things to myself. But I remember saying to our

0:39:34.800 --> 0:39:37.880
<v Speaker 1>mutual friend Caitlin, I was like, don't talk to yourself

0:39:37.920 --> 0:39:40.400
<v Speaker 1>like that. Don't talk to my friend like that. And

0:39:40.440 --> 0:39:42.480
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I would never let anyone talk to

0:39:42.520 --> 0:39:44.560
<v Speaker 1>you like that. So I'm not gonna let you talk

0:39:44.600 --> 0:39:46.520
<v Speaker 1>to yourself like that. But then I'm guilty of doing

0:39:46.560 --> 0:39:47.240
<v Speaker 1>it to myself.

0:39:47.320 --> 0:39:50.080
<v Speaker 2>I know you'll let your you won't get your friends,

0:39:50.160 --> 0:39:53.680
<v Speaker 2>but your best friend who should be you'll best friend you,

0:39:54.440 --> 0:39:55.439
<v Speaker 2>and you'll you'll say.

0:39:55.360 --> 0:39:58.800
<v Speaker 1>The nastiest things to them. So stop being so nice.

0:39:59.719 --> 0:40:02.000
<v Speaker 1>I've tried to now, like before I have a shower,

0:40:02.160 --> 0:40:05.160
<v Speaker 1>be like, yeah, you're like doing well, you look like

0:40:05.160 --> 0:40:07.480
<v Speaker 1>your arms look strong at the moment, or like you know,

0:40:07.719 --> 0:40:10.439
<v Speaker 1>like yep, try and be kind to myself. This skin

0:40:10.560 --> 0:40:15.240
<v Speaker 1>looks clear or you know, because I'm also very conscious

0:40:15.719 --> 0:40:19.040
<v Speaker 1>of the impact I'm giving to both of my kids.

0:40:19.400 --> 0:40:23.920
<v Speaker 1>So we try and do like positive. We're very mirror positive. Yeah,

0:40:23.960 --> 0:40:27.200
<v Speaker 1>we try and like dancing from the mirror or be like,

0:40:27.239 --> 0:40:29.880
<v Speaker 1>you know, look cruel, you look cute, you look so cool,

0:40:30.000 --> 0:40:32.960
<v Speaker 1>look at your dance moves. Like everything is positive when

0:40:33.000 --> 0:40:34.879
<v Speaker 1>we look in the mirror, even if like I look

0:40:34.880 --> 0:40:38.840
<v Speaker 1>at it, I'm like, oh, insert nasti comment here about myself.

0:40:39.840 --> 0:40:42.160
<v Speaker 2>You can turn it around us and you can do it,

0:40:42.360 --> 0:40:44.400
<v Speaker 2>and you actually can turn around you're thinking like you

0:40:44.760 --> 0:40:46.719
<v Speaker 2>if you do repeat these things over and over, you

0:40:46.760 --> 0:40:48.799
<v Speaker 2>do start to believe it, whether it's negative or whether

0:40:48.840 --> 0:40:51.880
<v Speaker 2>it's positive. I always love the I don't know. I

0:40:51.960 --> 0:40:53.600
<v Speaker 2>use this mancher the other day and it was like,

0:40:54.239 --> 0:40:56.880
<v Speaker 2>what if everything just works out? Like instead of going

0:40:56.960 --> 0:40:58.919
<v Speaker 2>into the day feeling like everything's just kind of shit,

0:40:58.960 --> 0:41:01.000
<v Speaker 2>what if everything just what if everything worked up for you?

0:41:02.560 --> 0:41:06.040
<v Speaker 1>What if today? What if I don't make it in time?

0:41:06.080 --> 0:41:08.920
<v Speaker 1>What if I can't do this? If it like why catastrophizing?

0:41:09.000 --> 0:41:10.960
<v Speaker 1>That's quite cool? Yeah, what if everything just works out?

0:41:11.080 --> 0:41:14.839
<v Speaker 1>Like what if everything is actually just working in your favor? Okay,

0:41:14.880 --> 0:41:16.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to wrap this up with a bit of

0:41:16.520 --> 0:41:19.600
<v Speaker 1>advice that you give to your younger self going into

0:41:19.640 --> 0:41:20.279
<v Speaker 1>the Korea that.

0:41:20.280 --> 0:41:26.000
<v Speaker 2>You were going into early twenties, What would you say

0:41:26.560 --> 0:41:31.240
<v Speaker 2>to young Megan, beautiful Pappas, don't let.

0:41:31.120 --> 0:41:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Anyone dim your light, Don't let anyone tell you you're not

0:41:36.000 --> 0:41:40.759
<v Speaker 1>good enough, Like try and keep who you are always

0:41:40.880 --> 0:41:43.960
<v Speaker 1>in every moment. That is the most important thing. Like

0:41:44.160 --> 0:41:48.960
<v Speaker 1>just shine bright, speak loud, don't try and like make

0:41:49.000 --> 0:41:52.600
<v Speaker 1>yourself smaller for anything or anyone. This is what I

0:41:52.719 --> 0:41:56.040
<v Speaker 1>tell myself. And don't try not to care about what

0:41:56.080 --> 0:42:03.360
<v Speaker 1>you look like, because you look fucking great about it.

0:42:04.360 --> 0:42:10.240
<v Speaker 1>It's gonna stag and drop and expand, so enjoy it. Oh, Megan,

0:42:10.280 --> 0:42:12.520
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for coming on today. I really

0:42:12.520 --> 0:42:16.480
<v Speaker 1>appreciate it for having me. Congratulations. I don't felt like

0:42:16.680 --> 0:42:19.160
<v Speaker 1>we didn't delve into your pregnancy enough. Well, I'm gonna

0:42:19.160 --> 0:42:24.360
<v Speaker 1>probably go into it too much over. I'm so excited

0:42:24.400 --> 0:42:26.120
<v Speaker 1>for you, and I know it's gonna be a girl.

0:42:26.400 --> 0:42:29.319
<v Speaker 1>I reckon, it's gonna be your power. But you're I

0:42:29.320 --> 0:42:35.400
<v Speaker 1>love you equally. Well.

0:42:35.440 --> 0:42:39.840
<v Speaker 2>That was my episode with Megan Papas and I loved

0:42:40.400 --> 0:42:42.279
<v Speaker 2>Jenny with mes I feel like we could have gone

0:42:42.280 --> 0:42:44.160
<v Speaker 2>on for a very, very long time.

0:42:45.560 --> 0:42:46.920
<v Speaker 1>Some powerful takeaways.

0:42:46.520 --> 0:42:50.280
<v Speaker 2>That I got from the episode were basically choosing your battles,

0:42:51.280 --> 0:42:55.319
<v Speaker 2>is this worth worth actually stressing out and stepping back

0:42:55.320 --> 0:42:57.960
<v Speaker 2>at tacking of breath and just surrendering to the chaos

0:42:57.960 --> 0:43:02.080
<v Speaker 2>that is around you, but also pushing aside that mentality

0:43:02.160 --> 0:43:06.719
<v Speaker 2>of everything will be better when dot dot dot. We're

0:43:06.719 --> 0:43:10.239
<v Speaker 2>both obviously so guilty of just taking off things in

0:43:10.280 --> 0:43:14.120
<v Speaker 2>life like we Okay, you get this job, great, You've

0:43:14.120 --> 0:43:15.200
<v Speaker 2>wanted that for so long.

0:43:15.400 --> 0:43:17.759
<v Speaker 1>What's next? You know? And I think in life we

0:43:17.800 --> 0:43:22.040
<v Speaker 1>are so programmed to do that, Okay, cool, I've done this.

0:43:22.120 --> 0:43:25.120
<v Speaker 2>Now what instead of actually sitting there and enjoying the view,

0:43:25.719 --> 0:43:28.360
<v Speaker 2>sucking it all, sucking it all in, but you know,

0:43:28.640 --> 0:43:32.000
<v Speaker 2>really lapping it up and appreciating how far we've come.

0:43:32.320 --> 0:43:34.840
<v Speaker 2>But instead we're like Noah, next, next, next, next, next,

0:43:36.400 --> 0:43:43.200
<v Speaker 2>And then hearing Megan's raw honesty on what I'd say

0:43:43.280 --> 0:43:46.160
<v Speaker 2>a lot of women do feel when they I mean,

0:43:46.200 --> 0:43:48.279
<v Speaker 2>if you look at it on paper, your career takes

0:43:48.280 --> 0:43:51.400
<v Speaker 2>a backstep for a while when you go into that

0:43:51.520 --> 0:43:54.279
<v Speaker 2>role of being a mother, and you can't help but

0:43:54.360 --> 0:43:56.319
<v Speaker 2>have these feelings of what if you know, what if

0:43:56.320 --> 0:43:59.279
<v Speaker 2>I didn't do this, It doesn't mean that you love

0:43:59.280 --> 0:44:01.719
<v Speaker 2>your children any Yes, but it's the ego coming in

0:44:02.280 --> 0:44:05.319
<v Speaker 2>and trying to take over your mind. And it's just

0:44:05.360 --> 0:44:07.960
<v Speaker 2>been strong enough to know that you actually wanted this

0:44:08.480 --> 0:44:12.000
<v Speaker 2>the whole time, and it is the reality of making

0:44:12.040 --> 0:44:15.160
<v Speaker 2>that decision. There has to be a sacrifice that comes

0:44:15.160 --> 0:44:18.840
<v Speaker 2>with it. And I will always come back to the

0:44:18.880 --> 0:44:20.840
<v Speaker 2>saying you can have everything, that you just can't have

0:44:20.960 --> 0:44:24.879
<v Speaker 2>everything at once. And perhaps maybe this is taking you

0:44:25.560 --> 0:44:28.160
<v Speaker 2>on a greater path that you can't see right now.

0:44:28.239 --> 0:44:31.320
<v Speaker 2>This is like a diversion and all will make sense

0:44:32.160 --> 0:44:32.840
<v Speaker 2>down the track.

0:44:32.960 --> 0:44:34.320
<v Speaker 1>Right now, it feels like you're behind.

0:44:34.800 --> 0:44:36.319
<v Speaker 2>But once you step back and get to look at

0:44:36.320 --> 0:44:39.520
<v Speaker 2>the greater picture, then you'll be like, oh, no, I

0:44:39.640 --> 0:44:42.320
<v Speaker 2>did make the right choice, and you have to stand

0:44:42.440 --> 0:44:46.919
<v Speaker 2>firm with what feels right inside. That's my little it's

0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:48.520
<v Speaker 2>my little pep talk that I'm going to leave you

0:44:48.560 --> 0:44:50.840
<v Speaker 2>with if you've felt like you've been in a similar situation.

0:44:51.480 --> 0:44:54.320
<v Speaker 2>But I'm really really grateful for Megan coming on this week.

0:44:54.560 --> 0:44:56.400
<v Speaker 2>I'd love to know what you got out of this

0:44:56.480 --> 0:44:59.640
<v Speaker 2>week's special episode. I was slow it down. You can

0:44:59.640 --> 0:45:03.560
<v Speaker 2>always get in touch with me on Instagram at pj DJ,

0:45:03.760 --> 0:45:08.240
<v Speaker 2>and I'll be back next Sunday with another episode.