Speaker 1: With the Heads Podcast Network. Hello, welcome back to Slow
Speaker 1: It Down.
Speaker 2: I am your host, PJ Harding, and a bit of
Speaker 2: a special episode this week.
Speaker 1: I Guess.
Speaker 2: I always want to be really honest and transparent on
Speaker 2: this podcast, and this podcast is a reflection of where
Speaker 2: I'm at in my life to be honest, and this
Speaker 2: week I got to announce some very exciting news that
Speaker 2: my husband and I are expecting our second baby in April.
Speaker 1: We obviously have our two year old Charlie.
Speaker 2: And I am seventeen weeks so long, and I am
Speaker 2: not good at keeping secrets, so this feels very freeing
Speaker 2: to be able to open up about it. So I
Speaker 2: wanted to do a special episode, still in the Slow
Speaker 2: It Down style, but talking about babies, going from one
Speaker 2: to two, balancing mother and Korea, confidence after having babies
Speaker 2: and being back in the workforce, the impact that has
Speaker 2: on your relationship, and just a really honest chat about
Speaker 2: I guess, the insecurities that arise after starting a family
Speaker 2: and taking a backstep in your career. I'm joined by
Speaker 2: radio host Meghan pop Us in this episode, and we
Speaker 2: have quite the history after both working together on ZM
Speaker 2: and now transitioning into the hits, So I thought Meghan
Speaker 2: would be perfect to get on just to chat about
Speaker 2: this phase of my life and hopefully this can help
Speaker 2: other people in a similar situation. But Meghan is so
Speaker 2: generous with their time and honest, and we get quite.
Speaker 1: Deep towards the end of the episode.
Speaker 2: But as a mom of toe working doing the juggle,
Speaker 2: I think this is a really powerful episode and I
Speaker 2: hope you get something out of it. Well, welcome to
Speaker 2: the podcast, Meghan Beautiful pop us.
Speaker 1: Thank you PJ did to me harden. We need to
Speaker 1: clarify what's going on here.
Speaker 2: So I may or may not have not saved Meghan'
Speaker 2: zumba on my phone for a very long time. I
Speaker 2: need you to know that messaging is not my main
Speaker 2: form of communication. And I just I'm so guilty of
Speaker 2: not saving numbers on my phone and I'm always like
Speaker 2: playing Giso.
Speaker 1: But now you were safe. My old way to live?
Speaker 1: Is it fix you? And You're just like, who's this? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And I got back and I'm like, okay, reference point
Speaker 2: two years ago.
Speaker 1: Oh it's Melissa. Because I called you for something on here,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, rude.
Speaker 2: But now because I've called you Meghan beautiful, papas it
Speaker 2: comes up in b so I'm always like, the.
Speaker 1: Hell is Megan Bee? I know? And yours comes up
Speaker 1: with something weird because it's like PJ did to me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to change that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Meghan, and my history kind of spans back to
Speaker 2: I think I was twenty fifteen or no, no, twenty thirty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when did you first move to z It is
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen. I think it was something around then. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And we.
Speaker 2: Were sort of the opposite end of the days on
Speaker 2: the radio station, and.
Speaker 1: It was really cool, like we got to have a bit.
Speaker 2: Of a family vibe and there was this cool kind
Speaker 2: of connection between the morning and afternoons, which was really nice.
Speaker 1: And it's funny now because we've ended up in the
Speaker 1: same spots. We're on the same station again, just a
Speaker 1: little bit old and drive, yeah, I know, with babies
Speaker 1: in the mix and not probably not partying as hard
Speaker 1: as were used to.
Speaker 2: No, life looks a little bit different, And that's exactly
Speaker 2: why I wanted to get you on, because you are
Speaker 2: a working mama and I feel like you always have
Speaker 2: your shit together because when I look at you, I'm like, man,
Speaker 2: it's just gone.
Speaker 1: Everything balanced is that an accurate Maybe I need to,
Speaker 1: like I need to put some more of the bad
Speaker 1: shit on social media maybe, But I mean when you come.
Speaker 2: Into work, like I just feel like you're quite an
Speaker 2: organized person. Would that be a fear a fear.
Speaker 1: Statement only because I married a very organized person. So
Speaker 1: he runs a very tight shit, my husband. So he's
Speaker 1: kind of just pulled me into line when I met him,
Speaker 1: Like my car was the car that was full of
Speaker 1: rubbish and like he didn't want to get into it,
Speaker 1: and I was just I was a hot mess functioning,
Speaker 1: hot mess yuse But he has helped me out a
Speaker 1: little bit, I think. So now we are very structured
Speaker 1: with how we like parent and just everything. We're very organized. Really,
Speaker 1: I can't handle the passive aggressive comments I get if
Speaker 1: I don't have you got to the catch and have
Speaker 1: you got one of those really.
Speaker 2: Like super detailed roster on your fridge roster.
Speaker 1: But we've got a calendar. I've got like a month calendar,
Speaker 1: and everything's kind of like okay, just big things so
Speaker 1: we know where we're at. But yeah, we're pretty organized.
Speaker 1: I mean that doesn't kids don't like they don't understand
Speaker 1: that though, So you can be as organized as you like.
Speaker 1: Shit will still fall apart. They'll still shit themselves when
Speaker 1: you're trying to leave the house. They'll still have a
Speaker 1: tantrum about whatever clothes you want them to wear. All
Speaker 1: of that stuff still happens. Just you know, you feel
Speaker 1: bad filming that and putting it on social media when
Speaker 1: they're screaming at you. Yeah. Have you always wanted to
Speaker 1: be a mum? Yeah? Do you know what? I probably
Speaker 1: kept its secret for a long time. I used to
Speaker 1: make jokes and be like, oh, I'm not ready to
Speaker 1: be a mom, I'm too selfish. Yeah, but like, deep down,
Speaker 1: I always did want I knew I wanted to be
Speaker 1: a mom of two. I hoped it would be a
Speaker 1: girl and a boy. And I was one of those
Speaker 1: people that was like, I'm gonna have babies by the
Speaker 1: time I'm twenty five. That obviously didn't. Haaven was divorced
Speaker 1: at twenty eight.
Speaker 2: We're here for the live details, So yeah, slightly, of course,
Speaker 2: But yeah I did.
Speaker 1: I did. But I feel like you try and keep
Speaker 1: your plans quiet when you're a woman, and when you're
Speaker 1: like in you know, a serious career that you've worked
Speaker 1: your way up to for years and years and years,
Speaker 1: you get to a point where you're like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to tell everyone because how is that gonna away
Speaker 1: fit my life? You know, we all have that in
Speaker 1: the back of our mind. You sure you do piece
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. It's wild And when like, did you
Speaker 1: have a certain age when the urge really kicked in
Speaker 1: and you're like, I really want to do this, but
Speaker 1: I don't know how I'm gonna avigate this? Can I
Speaker 1: can I actually even do both of these things at
Speaker 1: the same time. Well, So my husband is ten years
Speaker 1: younger than me, and when we got together, I was like, right,
Speaker 1: if you're not like ready for kids, this is the age.
Speaker 1: I was thirty five, I'm gonna be like doing this,
Speaker 1: so you're either in or you're out. And he was
Speaker 1: so obviously betweenty five, which is young. Sure, just straight
Speaker 1: up with him. Yeah, And I see to him right
Speaker 1: off the bat of like if you're not keen, then
Speaker 1: you're out, and he is. He's very old. He's an
Speaker 1: old soul, so he was always keen for that. But
Speaker 1: as soon I was like, right, we're gonna get married
Speaker 1: and then to give it a year and then we're
Speaker 1: gonna have the babies of course, shit doesn't go to plan,
Speaker 1: Like as soon as you plan your life out like that,
Speaker 1: stuff doesn't happen. And so thirty five I was like, right,
Speaker 1: I need to be getting onto this. And then we
Speaker 1: had pretty much two years of trying to get pregnant
Speaker 1: and it was just exhausting. So yeah, it was about
Speaker 1: thirty five or like I knew when I wanted to,
Speaker 1: but then it didn't happen. Really, I even knew that
Speaker 1: you tried for two years and did you ever consider
Speaker 1: going down the iv throad? So we did clomba fell
Speaker 1: or someone who's been chlorophel treatment, no chloroform clomba. It's
Speaker 1: a tablet you take to it's like fertility treatment you
Speaker 1: do before you go down the road of IVF. So
Speaker 1: we did four rounds of that and it just nothing
Speaker 1: was happening. And it's like so upsetting when you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: well I'm getting all the sussistance from fertility doctors and
Speaker 1: I'm just not getting eggs growing, and so you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: well my body sucks. And so we were like, okay,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do IVF. We had it all jacked up.
Speaker 1: We had the date we were going to pick up
Speaker 1: the drugs, the injections, we'd done how to administer them,
Speaker 1: We've gone through the whole shebang. I was literally going
Speaker 1: to pick up the injections the day before it was
Speaker 1: announced lockdown in twenty twenty. Oh my, And so anyone
Speaker 1: who had started IVF treatment was allowed to continue, anyone
Speaker 1: who hadn't started the drugs wasn't allowed to And I
Speaker 1: was like, are you kidding me? So we were like,
Speaker 1: we just gotta give up on that dream for now,
Speaker 1: no way, and so yeah, and so then you just
Speaker 1: keep trying. So when was that? There was like April
Speaker 1: and then May we conceived, Oh my god, naturally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: two years of like all this assistance, and I think
Speaker 1: and I hate. I hated it when people said to me,
Speaker 1: as soon as you can stop trying, Yeah, don't please,
Speaker 1: don't even say that to anyone who's having fertility issues.
Speaker 1: But it's it happened like as soon as we kind
Speaker 1: of we got locked down. So we were at home,
Speaker 1: we were not doing much. We were just like something
Speaker 1: else to do, yeah, and we were just drinking, like
Speaker 1: making banana bread and shit. And then happened. I was
Speaker 1: drinking so much too, Like you not even hearings. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and yeah, we got pregnant. So what makes me so sad?
Speaker 2: As when you go, there was something wrong with my
Speaker 2: body and it's like a fifty to fifty, you know,
Speaker 2: it's a fifty percent sheer, but the woman seems to
Speaker 2: take the most guilt. It's like there's something broken about me.
Speaker 2: But actually, hang on, there's two of you and the
Speaker 2: whole party here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true. And I think because it's happening
Speaker 1: to your body too, like you kind of forget it
Speaker 1: does take a toll on. Like my husband was taking
Speaker 1: it really hard, but he has told me since he
Speaker 1: tried to like just push it all down because I
Speaker 1: was he felt like I was taking it worse. So
Speaker 1: he's like, I can't fall apart because I need to
Speaker 1: look after her. Yes, So like it af fixed both
Speaker 1: of you, Like so yeah in different ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: And then so that was okay during lockdown, crazy wild
Speaker 2: times you were still working in radio when you did
Speaker 2: finally feel pregnant. How did that feel in terms of
Speaker 2: like that whole expiration of your career. Did you kind
Speaker 2: of like put that to the side, it didn't matter
Speaker 2: too much, or you.
Speaker 1: Know, we're like what am I gonna do? Ah, well,
Speaker 1: I don't. I'd had a long lead in years, and
Speaker 1: at the time I was like a bit younger, and
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, progressive women, we're gonna do this.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do everything. I can do it all and
Speaker 1: you can.
Speaker 2: But like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was like, yeah, I can do this.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take three months off. And I did
Speaker 1: do all of those things. But like in my mind
Speaker 1: first child, I was like, we're gonna kill this. We're
Speaker 1: gonna like, we'll have it all unlocked. The baby's going
Speaker 1: to sleep, and you know, all of that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: And again, life kicks in and it kicks your ass
Speaker 1: and gives you a reality check. So I wasn't too
Speaker 1: worried about it. I was like, three months off, it'll
Speaker 1: be sweet. Is it what you took three months off?
Speaker 2: And did you make that decision kind of early on
Speaker 2: in the pregnancy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know, like you're in a position where
Speaker 1: you can't you can't just take a year off and
Speaker 1: then expect to come back. Yeah, you know, and our
Speaker 1: kind of job, it's outward facing, you know, like you
Speaker 1: need to be there. Yes, So that was playing a
Speaker 1: lot in my mind. A lot. So you went back
Speaker 1: three months later, Yeah, and I was I was.
Speaker 2: Breastfeeding, So I feel like it's still so tender three
Speaker 2: months later. Like I had the luxury of not being
Speaker 2: in a full time job at the time. I was
Speaker 2: kind of I sort of caught radio for that point
Speaker 2: in my life, and I just was kind of on
Speaker 2: my own sort of clock doing social media jobs and
Speaker 2: stuff like that.
Speaker 1: So I didn't which I loved Jason.
Speaker 2: I think he doesn't, but I, you know, I didn't
Speaker 2: have that preciure to go back, and I just think
Speaker 2: how tender I was three months you know, postparder.
Speaker 1: Do you look back now going that was? That was
Speaker 1: pretty hard? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 1: But I did it again with my second child, so
Speaker 1: like because I went back, and like, I don't want
Speaker 1: it to be a whole with me because it was
Speaker 1: a soon I made. But it was so I would
Speaker 1: get up at three am because I was still breastfeeding.
Speaker 1: It was like one feed during the night, and then
Speaker 1: I'd get up at three am and I'd pump, and
Speaker 1: then I'd go to work do the show. I tried to.
Speaker 1: I tried to pump at work, but it's very hard
Speaker 1: when you're doing stuff can't do it and someone.
Speaker 3: Excuse, oh god, I don't miss a noise, and.
Speaker 1: So yeah, then I'd have to like race home and
Speaker 1: like feed and yeah, and then you have to instantly
Speaker 1: and you get home, like switch into like mum mode
Speaker 1: and you know, get the heels off, take your makeup off,
Speaker 1: get into some you know. So in theory again, I
Speaker 1: thought it would be great, but then when I did it,
Speaker 1: I was like, shit, this is just like it's hard.
Speaker 1: Like with Bastie, I was just my first my son,
Speaker 1: my first one. I was just like vital flight. I
Speaker 1: was just flailing. It was just and I hated breastfeeding him,
Speaker 1: hated it.
Speaker 2: And well maybe that's I mean, look, I look at
Speaker 2: you now with toe and I'm just saying, how do
Speaker 2: you do it? Because I've I've got Charlie who's toddler,
Speaker 2: and I just came back into work this year, and
Speaker 2: I just thinks, how is she doing not just one,
Speaker 2: but two?
Speaker 1: And now I'm obviously about to embark on that journey.
Speaker 2: But do you think that motherhood, You know, over time,
Speaker 2: it does start to feel a little bit more natural
Speaker 2: and you start to relax a little bit where you
Speaker 2: were pretty uptight the first time around.
Speaker 1: That's the one thing I was going to tell you
Speaker 1: is that the first time around is so scary because
Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, everything is new. You're doing
Speaker 1: everything for the first time. So you're giving birth for
Speaker 1: the first time, you're breastfeeding for the first time, or
Speaker 1: feeding them however, and everything is like oh my god,
Speaker 1: and I don't just keep them alive. Second time, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've done this before. Ah yeah, I got this. Like
Speaker 1: especially you've got like, you know, a two year age gap.
Speaker 1: It will come back to you and you'll just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's all good and you're exactly right. Like the first
Speaker 1: time around, I was so up tired about everything this time.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's why I is like a little bit like
Speaker 1: stroppy and can hold her own because she's just kind
Speaker 1: of been left to figure it out a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, should be right, mate, should be right. Well.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people say about this second.
Speaker 2: One of my big fears, I mean, going into having
Speaker 2: Charlie the first time and now going into a second
Speaker 2: is the impact.
Speaker 1: On the relationship.
Speaker 2: And you know, when you're in the trenches, it's he's tough,
Speaker 2: and when you're tired in this sleep deprivation? Do you
Speaker 2: have any advice on that?
Speaker 1: Les? How were you? I don't know how personal you
Speaker 1: want to get here, but it's like, how are you, guys?
Speaker 1: How are you after Charlie?
Speaker 2: I mean, look, there were definitely tough times, but BJ
Speaker 2: is a very hands on dad. I'm very the air
Speaker 2: and yeah, and I think that really helps. And I
Speaker 2: think I mean, look, I feel like lots of times
Speaker 2: when you've got the sleep deprivation and you're really in
Speaker 2: the trenches, it's pretty hard to assess.
Speaker 1: That time, like it's almost a bit of a write off.
Speaker 2: But once you come through, I just think it's really
Speaker 2: important to communicate and just get on the same level
Speaker 2: and like, and it takes a while to come back
Speaker 2: to feeling human. And I think once you boys start
Speaker 2: to feel a bit human again, then you can kind
Speaker 2: of properly converse.
Speaker 1: But for a while, it's like so alien and I
Speaker 1: know we're going to.
Speaker 2: Go through that again because some people I've had some
Speaker 2: comments to me, like I love a people who think
Speaker 2: it's hard with one, Oh my god, Like it's just
Speaker 2: about to you know, really kick off.
Speaker 1: It's not always something you just you just like ban
Speaker 1: cut the sleep now, Like, yeah, you'll be fine. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people say one is fine,
Speaker 1: two is a million or whatever it is. But there's
Speaker 1: two of you, there's two kids, like and it always
Speaker 1: you know, it feels tough when they're a newborn and
Speaker 1: they need you all the time. But like, now that
Speaker 1: I'm out the other side of that, you can see
Speaker 1: how fast it goes. It Like, I still feels like
Speaker 1: a baby to me. She's just turned two, So like,
Speaker 1: it goes so fast. You'll feel every single day, but
Speaker 1: the year will fly by, you know. And then suddenly
Speaker 1: as soon as they walk and stuff like, you can
Speaker 1: like leave them to play with each other. And that's
Speaker 1: the most incredible thing. They actually spend a lot of
Speaker 1: time entertaining each other and I only have to jump
Speaker 1: in when there's a fight and one is threatened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So like, honestly, until your bebt walks, you know that's
Speaker 1: you're gonna be very hands on. But that can go,
Speaker 1: like can some people walking at nights? They could go
Speaker 1: in a year And then suddenly you know, you got
Speaker 1: a little human and she I'm convinced it's a sheep.
Speaker 2: I'm convinced it's a sheet, but I don't know. Charlie
Speaker 2: always goes girl, baby girl, Charlie, is it a baby
Speaker 2: boy or girl? And he goes girl, but then sometimes
Speaker 2: he'll say boy. Although today he freaked me out and
Speaker 2: he goes baby gone and I was like what and
Speaker 2: he goes, no, baby girl.
Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, Charlie, how have we never spoken about like
Speaker 1: births and stuff.
Speaker 2: I don't know what was yours? Like both both emergency cesareans.
Speaker 2: Mine was an emergency Caesar two. Yeah, welcome to the club.
Speaker 2: But were you upset about it? Had you asked me
Speaker 2: a week before, I would have thought I would have
Speaker 2: been so gutted.
Speaker 1: Uh. You know. I went in doing hypno birth thing
Speaker 1: and I was like, this is going to be as
Speaker 1: natural as possible.
Speaker 2: And I remember the night before going into labor Beja.
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, what happens if things work out?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's how you manifest bad things, and
Speaker 2: like I went off and that was obviously the hall
Speaker 2: bones because I was about to go into labor and
Speaker 2: he was like, no, we just need a plan bing
Speaker 2: and I was like, anyway, next day, go on to
Speaker 2: labor at about seven o'clock at night and then Mom
Speaker 2: came out, BJ went to sleep for a bit. Mom
Speaker 2: and I were chilling in the bath, so I was
Speaker 2: just trying to get comfortable. We left time at about
Speaker 2: one am. I remember seeing two beautiful deer as we're
Speaker 2: driving down. The driver I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: it was like this really beautiful. Okay, this is this
Speaker 2: is it. It was like a weird I don't know,
Speaker 2: a good omen, I guess yeah yeah, and the omen
Speaker 2: yeah fuck. That drive was horrendous, so bad. Why do
Speaker 2: they not let you get on like all fours.
Speaker 1: And the car? That was all I wanted to do,
Speaker 1: like harming over no farming.
Speaker 2: For one split second, we get to the hospital and
Speaker 2: I thought, how many was I?
Speaker 1: How many? What's that? Oh my god? What I was dilated?
Speaker 1: Is dilated? Yeah? Yeah, just all the terminology.
Speaker 2: Is coming back. I want to say I was three
Speaker 2: or four cinematas dilated.
Speaker 1: Okay, and then quite halfway, no, I was it more
Speaker 1: like it was it felt like a decent amount. And
Speaker 1: and then it was like I was laboring quite quickly,
Speaker 1: and it was like my midwife was like, all right,
Speaker 1: it feels like we're almost on here. Then basically Charlie
Speaker 1: got stuck posterior, horrendous, horrendous noises and sewed.
Speaker 2: But I look back with the roasters to glasses, I'm like,
Speaker 2: let's do it again.
Speaker 1: Again.
Speaker 2: But once it happened, you know, absolutely absolutely no regret
Speaker 2: or shame or anything. I was just stoked. He was
Speaker 2: alive and safe and well and that was all that mattered.
Speaker 2: And I was like, what, I yes so much?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Yeah? Do you know?
Speaker 1: And both times, like I tried so hard. I really
Speaker 1: wanted to, like I don't know why. I don't know why,
Speaker 1: befot's pressure myselfs And also it sounds horrendous. Anyone who's
Speaker 1: had a bagetal birth, it sounds like painful.
Speaker 2: There are there are I think there are some really
Speaker 2: blessed ones that I don't know, Like have you've seen
Speaker 2: those YouTube? But it's like painfree and it's totally and
Speaker 2: I wanted to do that.
Speaker 1: It's so not like me. But I wanted to do
Speaker 1: the natural birth and I was going to breathe my
Speaker 1: way through it. And then I was like amy joy
Speaker 1: and then emergencies AIRI and I just cried and I
Speaker 1: was like I don't want to and then we're like
Speaker 1: everyone's going, well, the baby needs to just come out
Speaker 1: in the safest way, and I was like fine, So
Speaker 1: we did it. But the first time around it was
Speaker 1: quite brutal because I needed to have a spinal tap
Speaker 1: in the end because my epidural wore off, so I
Speaker 1: couldn't feel anything from my nick down and I was
Speaker 1: just like completely numb. But then I started to I
Speaker 1: had to have pithadone. I don't even remember why, and
Speaker 1: then I started shaking, and so I was pretty much
Speaker 1: kind of out of it when my son was born.
Speaker 1: So Andrew, my husband, filmed a video. I don't remember it,
Speaker 1: but I was awake, but I'm so grateful that he
Speaker 1: filmed when basically got put on me. Yeah, the only
Speaker 1: thing I remember not seeing him, but I remember thinking,
Speaker 1: get him off me because I'm gonna drop him because
Speaker 1: I couldn't feel anything, and obviously they were holding him,
Speaker 1: but my first thought was get him off me. He's
Speaker 1: gonna fall on the floor. And that's all I remember.
Speaker 1: So I'm so thankful that he's got a video of it,
Speaker 1: because I actually spoke to him and I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I was like my baby, But I don't
Speaker 1: remember any of that. Yeah, so it was like, really,
Speaker 1: it was a really tough first outing. Did you when
Speaker 1: you were pregnant first time? And now that you know
Speaker 1: you're pregod second time? Have you googled more or less? Less?
Speaker 1: Wildly less?
Speaker 2: And oh my god, I wish you could the voice
Speaker 2: notes that I sent to my midwife the first time round.
Speaker 1: Yeah, You're like, is this normal? Is everything? Is this normal?
Speaker 1: It's normal when coms a pleading, when I brush my teeth?
Speaker 1: Am I dying? I've just haaid a kebab and I'm
Speaker 1: worried that maybe do you think the kebab meat might
Speaker 1: be a little bit funny?
Speaker 2: She's so like Rea suing every time I actually see
Speaker 2: her my voice first voice message in a long time
Speaker 2: this morning, just saying, oh wait, what did I say.
Speaker 1: Today? It is your resident, It's Teresa. I'm just be
Speaker 1: strong because.
Speaker 2: I feel like I've even felt lots of kicks consistently.
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes I do feel a lot of flutters,
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, oh my god, should be feeling more?
Speaker 1: Should I be showing more? I feel like I'm fed,
Speaker 1: Like my belly is beat at this time, and it's
Speaker 1: soft and not such.
Speaker 2: An obvious one, but I'm definitely bigger, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't feel very consistent in it.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I like, I don't know, is it almost been
Speaker 2: coming to like chicken heartpet or do you think I
Speaker 2: know something had happened?
Speaker 1: Next page?
Speaker 2: Also, the headaches have been awful this time around.
Speaker 1: Yes, So anyway, she's freaking amazing. She sent me back
Speaker 1: in an amazing.
Speaker 2: Reassuring voice message, saying, look, we don't even start monitoring
Speaker 2: the kicks from like twenty five weeks.
Speaker 1: I don't need to be consistent because.
Speaker 2: I just felt like little flutters and bubbles and all
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. But I just can't remember last
Speaker 2: like when I felt stuff last time.
Speaker 1: I think it's about around twenty weeks. You get kind
Speaker 1: of consistent, Yeah, feelings did you feel in the second time?
Speaker 1: The baby? Just like everything is softer. I just feel
Speaker 1: like I did not look cute. I did not look
Speaker 1: cute with my bombs. You think that, but you you do,
Speaker 1: and like, just do I will I look back even
Speaker 1: if you never put them anywhere. Just take photos of
Speaker 1: yourself because I've got like a handful because I was
Speaker 1: such a baby about it. Like, just take photos of yourself.
Speaker 1: Just for your own thing, you know, but you're right,
Speaker 1: Like the bump shows earlier. It's because your muscles and
Speaker 1: everything are like they know what they're doing. They're right again,
Speaker 1: everyone shows a bit earlier. Sometimes it's a bit lower,
Speaker 1: like you know, you might find that something's I feel
Speaker 1: like the shape of my stomach has changed, yes, like forever,
Speaker 1: Like there's certain parts of you that might change forever.
Speaker 1: Like my boobs are a bit saggier.
Speaker 2: So saggy, and I don't know how I'm gonna do
Speaker 2: like they are like so si and like now they've
Speaker 2: got like all koshy again.
Speaker 1: They've all got coshy again.
Speaker 2: And nice because I'm pregnant, but you wait till boast breastfeeding.
Speaker 2: But it's just part of it, and it's part of
Speaker 2: it and we have to, you know, embrace it because
Speaker 2: what our body has actually created.
Speaker 1: Is something that you wouldn't trade anything in the world. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're amazing.
Speaker 2: Oh I was going to talk about actually body confidence
Speaker 2: just yeah, because it feels so trivial to be insecure
Speaker 2: during a time where you're creating a human But it's
Speaker 2: something I really struggle with continuing to be able to
Speaker 2: be positive about. Yeah, and it feels so much trivial
Speaker 2: when so many people have so many issues actually falling
Speaker 2: pregnant in the first place. You hear, am I worried
Speaker 2: about how my fucking leags look. It's just so stupid,
Speaker 2: but I can't knock it out my head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's all relative to you, right, Like, how
Speaker 1: do you okay? So, say you needed to go to
Speaker 1: like some radio function and you need to get dressed up,
Speaker 1: how initially, how are you feeling right now?
Speaker 2: I just don't have to dress myself because I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm in the between bays, Like I don't look
Speaker 2: good in the maternity gear, I don't look.
Speaker 1: Good in normal gear, so I try the beggy stuff.
Speaker 1: But I'm so sure and I just look stupid, like
Speaker 1: I'm we're in a bag, you know.
Speaker 2: I think it's just that in between phase particularly, and
Speaker 2: like because I've been keeping it on the d LO,
Speaker 2: I haven't really fully been able to embrace the bump.
Speaker 2: And it's just that kind of like your identity is
Speaker 2: challenged quite a lot along the way. I think when
Speaker 2: you're so fixated on how you were and you just
Speaker 2: have to know that you just keep changing. But I
Speaker 2: think this time I have the reassurance of I got
Speaker 2: through it last time. I remember feeling like this last time,
Speaker 2: but I remember coming out the other side and actually
Speaker 2: running a half marathon, not straight a back like a.
Speaker 1: Couple of years ago.
Speaker 2: You know, your body does bounce back in time, however
Speaker 2: that looks for you, and it's just taking it pressure off.
Speaker 2: But it still doesn't mean that you have those body
Speaker 2: image struggles along the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you also don't like I don't like saying
Speaker 1: bounce back. Hate doesn't need to know you body. You
Speaker 1: never lost your body. It doesn't have to come back,
Speaker 1: and it's probably not going to be the same. It
Speaker 1: can be different, but it can still be strong and
Speaker 1: it can still be And like I'm saying this to
Speaker 1: you as someone who went through exactly what you're going
Speaker 1: through and like didn't want photos taken of me and
Speaker 1: was just like constantly feeling like you're a lump and
Speaker 1: you know, like everything it's not only what you can see,
Speaker 1: and it's not just like weight and stuff. It's the
Speaker 1: fact that you're tired. It's the fact that your feet hurt,
Speaker 1: it's the fact that your guns are bleeding, it's you know,
Speaker 1: like it's all of the extra boobs and tenre yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and that so you're spelling and everything makes you feel sick,
Speaker 1: and it's all of it all makes you feel gross.
Speaker 1: It totally does. And I do find that there'll be
Speaker 1: days where I am feeling better and I'm like, hang on,
Speaker 1: why was I so harsh for myself yesterday?
Speaker 2: And even if I just do like a light work hard,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not like going hard out or whatever.
Speaker 2: But when I do feel good in those moments, I'll
Speaker 2: try and like member body more and I will find
Speaker 2: that that does.
Speaker 1: Give me that boost of confident. And it's such a
Speaker 1: mental mental thing, like the more you move, the more
Speaker 1: you feel like you're actually nuturing your body. Then you
Speaker 1: do you do wrap the benefits from it, but you
Speaker 1: just need to slow it down.
Speaker 2: Well, actually, I well, this is where we get into
Speaker 2: the podcast where we talk about the practices that you
Speaker 2: like to do that you know will keep you saying,
Speaker 2: because you're incredibly busy, you're working, you've got two little kids,
Speaker 2: how does me again making beautiful puppaus stay sane in
Speaker 2: the chaos?
Speaker 1: I mean the chaos. I remember going to my therapist
Speaker 1: and I'm always like trying to get him to fix
Speaker 1: my realities. And he's kind of just like you've got
Speaker 1: to get comfortable in the chaos, like just breathe and
Speaker 1: be like let it all flow around you. And like
Speaker 1: that's so true with two kids. I'm trying to control
Speaker 1: these little people who don't want to be controlled, and
Speaker 1: so I'm trying, I said, so everyday thing, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to just breathe and be like does this matter in
Speaker 1: this moment? Does this matter? You're like fighting trying to
Speaker 1: get shoes on because you've got to get out the door.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, she's going in the car with barefeeta,
Speaker 1: take the shoes, and like, does this matter if she's
Speaker 1: not wearing what I wanted to wear, she's wearing a
Speaker 1: hive's vest with her tutu and gum boots. Does it matter?
Speaker 1: Notice that I always say she Okay, we found the
Speaker 1: rebel in the duo, but like, honestly, just like be
Speaker 1: comfortable in the manness. Because we used to always say
Speaker 1: me and Andrew that we just need to get through this,
Speaker 1: if we just get through this week, because every week
Speaker 1: was busy, but then it never changed, like you just
Speaker 1: constantly got stuff happening. So we tried to stop doing
Speaker 1: that and just be like we're just comfortable. We just
Speaker 1: need to breathe. Nothing is heart surgery in our life,
Speaker 1: like we might be doing a podcast or you know,
Speaker 1: like it's just yarning. Nothing is that important. We're not
Speaker 1: saving lives for your sanity, you know. Yeah. And like
Speaker 1: even because I had reflux, so she cried a lot
Speaker 1: as a baby, and it would just you know, like
Speaker 1: a crying baby is just so hard on your mental health.
Speaker 1: And so for a long time, every time she would cry,
Speaker 1: I'd just be really triggered and I'd kind of melt down.
Speaker 1: And Andrew's like, she is okay, she's crying because she's
Speaker 1: having a meltdown. She's safe, she's feared, she's got to clean,
Speaker 1: like there's nothing wrong with her. Just like breathe and
Speaker 1: take take a moment. Like I used to go away
Speaker 1: and take a moment for myself even when she was crying,
Speaker 1: Like she'd be in her cot and I'd go away
Speaker 1: and I'd be like I need a moment for myself
Speaker 1: just to like breathe and be like, Okay, go back
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 2: She is safe, she is well feed, she's okay, she's crying. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but you actually have to tend to yourself in those
Speaker 2: moments or else, Yes.
Speaker 1: You're just praying from me, you can't cry, or you're
Speaker 1: gonna you know, you're just gonna yell, or I don't know,
Speaker 1: you're just gonna. It's not gonna be good for her
Speaker 1: or good for you. So I just go away and
Speaker 1: I go what matters in this moment? What matters in
Speaker 1: this moment?
Speaker 2: Yeah, packing your battles, I'm learning now two year old,
Speaker 2: that is very important.
Speaker 1: Who cares if he goes to be with an onion?
Speaker 1: Is it hurting anyone?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Why did they take weird shit?
Speaker 1: To be honestly? Now he has to take a dog
Speaker 1: to the beard.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, okay, come on figgie, like it's my
Speaker 2: only way of getting him to bed? Or does he
Speaker 2: bring in the wheelbarrow? Does he bring in like freaking digger, whatever, it'll.
Speaker 1: Get him to bed? And I'm like, am I just
Speaker 1: being a push over mum? Probably? Nah? Like they just
Speaker 1: attached to things like I has to go to sleep
Speaker 1: with one of those Mowana Disney cards every night at
Speaker 1: the moment, and then last night I took it off
Speaker 1: her because I was like, well, I don't want to
Speaker 1: stick to her mouth or something, so like took it
Speaker 1: out once she'd gone to sleep, and then in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night she wakes up and she's like, ah,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, she can't find the card.
Speaker 2: Like why can't they just like a cute little snugly
Speaker 2: or she's got four bunnies in there with her cut
Speaker 2: on one of him. Wake it's going to be hard
Speaker 2: and random the object. But oh, it's so true. Like
Speaker 2: I think we're all really guilty of the site going oh,
Speaker 2: it'll be better win dot dot and it's just such a.
Speaker 1: Messious cycles get through this. Yeah, yeah, it will be.
Speaker 2: And maybe she's just gotta be like it's perfect now,
Speaker 2: even though Bill's chaotic, it's actually perfect right now in
Speaker 2: this moment, And I'm not going to have any other
Speaker 2: moment like this, and I just have a freaking suck
Speaker 2: it up because we will look back on these days
Speaker 2: and we were just wish that we were more present.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And like I always think of like me when
Speaker 1: I was younger, and I like even just when we
Speaker 1: were trying to get pregnant, how desperate we were for
Speaker 1: a baby. We were just we were just like we
Speaker 1: just like one will be enough if we can never
Speaker 1: do it again. And we were just desperate and now
Speaker 1: we've got him. And like also when we were like
Speaker 1: doing broadcasting school and stuff, we were like, we're just
Speaker 1: desperate to have this radio gig. And you get these
Speaker 1: things and then you're like right next and you're don't
Speaker 1: freaking appreciate it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And like when
Speaker 1: I stopped doing breakfast radio, like in the moment, you're like,
Speaker 1: I'm so tired, it's so busy all this, and then
Speaker 1: I stopped doing it for two years, and now that
Speaker 1: I'm back here, I'm like, God, you need to appreciate this.
Speaker 1: You need to stop breathe who cares about the early
Speaker 1: mornings because you know you love it, Like, just appreciate everything.
Speaker 1: And yeah, have you felt that since coming back?
Speaker 2: Now you've got your two babies, you care less about
Speaker 2: the shit that you.
Speaker 1: Used to worry about pre babies.
Speaker 2: In terms of comparing yourself to other people in the industry.
Speaker 1: You want me to say, no, no, no, it's not.
Speaker 2: I want you to be honest, because I still do
Speaker 2: and like, no, I thought that when you have babies
Speaker 2: you stop caring about that shit. And yes, I think
Speaker 2: you do stop caring about a lot of superfluous stuff
Speaker 2: that you used to.
Speaker 1: See over Yeah, man, we still our brains still get
Speaker 1: the bigger of us.
Speaker 2: Like I look back and I feel like I was
Speaker 2: so much more successful in some ways a few years ago,
Speaker 2: and I look at myself now and you're like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, I.
Speaker 1: Have I gone backwards?
Speaker 2: But no, because when I was in that position, all
Speaker 2: I wanted was what I've got right now. And it's
Speaker 2: back to that not appreciating what you've got.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I couldn't everything you just said. Everything you
Speaker 1: just said, because I obviously like left a show, and
Speaker 1: I went through a whole period where I was like
Speaker 1: do I want to put this on a podcast? When
Speaker 1: I and I don't cry. I had a moment where
Speaker 1: I was like do I regret this? And like I
Speaker 1: had to fight to not regret having my child, and
Speaker 1: I was like, have I ruined one thing and search
Speaker 1: for another? And that's like, God, that's a lot, but
Speaker 1: that's something that like women, I'm sure a lot of
Speaker 1: women like think. And then now saying it out loud,
Speaker 1: I feel so much shame because of course I don't
Speaker 1: regret I know either, my babies are the best thing
Speaker 1: and the best thing that's ever happened.
Speaker 2: And you'd never ever trade them in for the world.
Speaker 2: But when your ego comes in from a career perspective
Speaker 2: and progress, and if you're looking at how the world
Speaker 2: perceives you looking inside you know, then you can't help
Speaker 2: but compare yourself.
Speaker 1: But only you.
Speaker 2: Know what truly matters to you, like truly truly matters
Speaker 2: to you. But I think because the so much validation
Speaker 2: needed online and there's so much people proving how successful
Speaker 2: they are all the time, you can't help but feel
Speaker 2: dragged into that game.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you know truly what brings you the most
Speaker 2: joy is your family and your beautiful children. But when
Speaker 2: you're feeling weaker, when you're feeling those days of insecurity,
Speaker 2: you start having these Christians and you feel guilty a
Speaker 2: one hundred percent of what you mean. But there's no
Speaker 2: shame in that, because I think a lot of women
Speaker 2: would have exactly the same moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is hard when you find so you've got.
Speaker 1: I always think when your personal life is thriving, sometimes
Speaker 1: your professional life is not, and vice versa. Like when
Speaker 1: I was probably doing the best professionally I was like
Speaker 1: having a meltdown. I was like having struggles with my relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm like having fertility issues, Like I'm struggling to even
Speaker 1: get out of bid to go and have laughs on
Speaker 1: the radio. But I'm having the you know, prime of
Speaker 1: my professional career and vice versa. You know, so you can't.
Speaker 2: I always come back to this quote, you can have
Speaker 2: it all, but just not at the same time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you need to be happy with We don't
Speaker 1: need to be happy, but you should try and find
Speaker 1: the joy and everything you've got at each moment because
Speaker 1: there is joy in each face one hundred and we
Speaker 1: just have to do what we can to not look
Speaker 1: no answer to that because I don't preach that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff on that. Don't listen to that, but appreciate
Speaker 1: what we've got in front of you. But still the
Speaker 1: brain goes and I think, I think it is doing
Speaker 1: things yet encourage your own self esteem and make you
Speaker 1: feel better in yourself. So whether it is going to
Speaker 1: your little pilates class, or whether it's surrounding for the
Speaker 1: right people or doing you know, like positive informations which
Speaker 1: to some people might send corny, but whatever it is
Speaker 1: that you can do to come back to you're really
Speaker 1: your strong place, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Where you are feeling confident in yourself and that looks
Speaker 2: different for everyone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do. Like this is so corny, but like
Speaker 1: I've started trying to because I've forever been the person
Speaker 1: that would like look in the mirror, specially when you're
Speaker 1: naked and be like ugh, saggy burt, or like say
Speaker 1: horrible things to myself. But I remember saying to our
Speaker 1: mutual friend Caitlin, I was like, don't talk to yourself
Speaker 1: like that. Don't talk to my friend like that. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I would never let anyone talk to
Speaker 1: you like that. So I'm not gonna let you talk
Speaker 1: to yourself like that. But then I'm guilty of doing
Speaker 1: it to myself.
Speaker 2: I know you'll let your you won't get your friends,
Speaker 2: but your best friend who should be you'll best friend you,
Speaker 2: and you'll you'll say.
Speaker 1: The nastiest things to them. So stop being so nice.
Speaker 1: I've tried to now, like before I have a shower,
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, you're like doing well, you look like
Speaker 1: your arms look strong at the moment, or like you know,
Speaker 1: like yep, try and be kind to myself. This skin
Speaker 1: looks clear or you know, because I'm also very conscious
Speaker 1: of the impact I'm giving to both of my kids.
Speaker 1: So we try and do like positive. We're very mirror positive. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we try and like dancing from the mirror or be like,
Speaker 1: you know, look cruel, you look cute, you look so cool,
Speaker 1: look at your dance moves. Like everything is positive when
Speaker 1: we look in the mirror, even if like I look
Speaker 1: at it, I'm like, oh, insert nasti comment here about myself.
Speaker 2: You can turn it around us and you can do it,
Speaker 2: and you actually can turn around you're thinking like you
Speaker 2: if you do repeat these things over and over, you
Speaker 2: do start to believe it, whether it's negative or whether
Speaker 2: it's positive. I always love the I don't know. I
Speaker 2: use this mancher the other day and it was like,
Speaker 2: what if everything just works out? Like instead of going
Speaker 2: into the day feeling like everything's just kind of shit,
Speaker 2: what if everything just what if everything worked up for you?
Speaker 1: What if today? What if I don't make it in time?
Speaker 1: What if I can't do this? If it like why catastrophizing?
Speaker 1: That's quite cool? Yeah, what if everything just works out?
Speaker 1: Like what if everything is actually just working in your favor? Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to wrap this up with a bit of
Speaker 1: advice that you give to your younger self going into
Speaker 1: the Korea that.
Speaker 2: You were going into early twenties, What would you say
Speaker 2: to young Megan, beautiful Pappas, don't let.
Speaker 1: Anyone dim your light, Don't let anyone tell you you're not
Speaker 1: good enough, Like try and keep who you are always
Speaker 1: in every moment. That is the most important thing. Like
Speaker 1: just shine bright, speak loud, don't try and like make
Speaker 1: yourself smaller for anything or anyone. This is what I
Speaker 1: tell myself. And don't try not to care about what
Speaker 1: you look like, because you look fucking great about it.
Speaker 1: It's gonna stag and drop and expand, so enjoy it. Oh, Megan,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on today. I really
Speaker 1: appreciate it for having me. Congratulations. I don't felt like
Speaker 1: we didn't delve into your pregnancy enough. Well, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: probably go into it too much over. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: for you, and I know it's gonna be a girl.
Speaker 1: I reckon, it's gonna be your power. But you're I
Speaker 1: love you equally. Well.
Speaker 2: That was my episode with Megan Papas and I loved
Speaker 2: Jenny with mes I feel like we could have gone
Speaker 2: on for a very, very long time.
Speaker 1: Some powerful takeaways.
Speaker 2: That I got from the episode were basically choosing your battles,
Speaker 2: is this worth worth actually stressing out and stepping back
Speaker 2: at tacking of breath and just surrendering to the chaos
Speaker 2: that is around you, but also pushing aside that mentality
Speaker 2: of everything will be better when dot dot dot. We're
Speaker 2: both obviously so guilty of just taking off things in
Speaker 2: life like we Okay, you get this job, great, You've
Speaker 2: wanted that for so long.
Speaker 1: What's next? You know? And I think in life we
Speaker 1: are so programmed to do that, Okay, cool, I've done this.
Speaker 2: Now what instead of actually sitting there and enjoying the view,
Speaker 2: sucking it all, sucking it all in, but you know,
Speaker 2: really lapping it up and appreciating how far we've come.
Speaker 2: But instead we're like Noah, next, next, next, next, next,
Speaker 2: And then hearing Megan's raw honesty on what I'd say
Speaker 2: a lot of women do feel when they I mean,
Speaker 2: if you look at it on paper, your career takes
Speaker 2: a backstep for a while when you go into that
Speaker 2: role of being a mother, and you can't help but
Speaker 2: have these feelings of what if you know, what if
Speaker 2: I didn't do this, It doesn't mean that you love
Speaker 2: your children any Yes, but it's the ego coming in
Speaker 2: and trying to take over your mind. And it's just
Speaker 2: been strong enough to know that you actually wanted this
Speaker 2: the whole time, and it is the reality of making
Speaker 2: that decision. There has to be a sacrifice that comes
Speaker 2: with it. And I will always come back to the
Speaker 2: saying you can have everything, that you just can't have
Speaker 2: everything at once. And perhaps maybe this is taking you
Speaker 2: on a greater path that you can't see right now.
Speaker 2: This is like a diversion and all will make sense
Speaker 2: down the track.
Speaker 1: Right now, it feels like you're behind.
Speaker 2: But once you step back and get to look at
Speaker 2: the greater picture, then you'll be like, oh, no, I
Speaker 2: did make the right choice, and you have to stand
Speaker 2: firm with what feels right inside. That's my little it's
Speaker 2: my little pep talk that I'm going to leave you
Speaker 2: with if you've felt like you've been in a similar situation.
Speaker 2: But I'm really really grateful for Megan coming on this week.
Speaker 2: I'd love to know what you got out of this
Speaker 2: week's special episode. I was slow it down. You can
Speaker 2: always get in touch with me on Instagram at pj DJ,
Speaker 2: and I'll be back next Sunday with another episode.