1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: With the Heads Podcast Network. Hello, welcome back to Slow 2 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:10,600 Speaker 1: It Down. 3 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 2: I am your host, PJ Harding, and a bit of 4 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 2: a special episode this week. 5 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 1: I Guess. 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: I always want to be really honest and transparent on 7 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:24,279 Speaker 2: this podcast, and this podcast is a reflection of where 8 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 2: I'm at in my life to be honest, and this 9 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 2: week I got to announce some very exciting news that 10 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 2: my husband and I are expecting our second baby in April. 11 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: We obviously have our two year old Charlie. 12 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,639 Speaker 2: And I am seventeen weeks so long, and I am 13 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:44,920 Speaker 2: not good at keeping secrets, so this feels very freeing 14 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 2: to be able to open up about it. So I 15 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 2: wanted to do a special episode, still in the Slow 16 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 2: It Down style, but talking about babies, going from one 17 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:04,680 Speaker 2: to two, balancing mother and Korea, confidence after having babies 18 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 2: and being back in the workforce, the impact that has 19 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:14,120 Speaker 2: on your relationship, and just a really honest chat about 20 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 2: I guess, the insecurities that arise after starting a family 21 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 2: and taking a backstep in your career. I'm joined by 22 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 2: radio host Meghan pop Us in this episode, and we 23 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 2: have quite the history after both working together on ZM 24 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 2: and now transitioning into the hits, So I thought Meghan 25 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 2: would be perfect to get on just to chat about 26 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 2: this phase of my life and hopefully this can help 27 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,399 Speaker 2: other people in a similar situation. But Meghan is so 28 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 2: generous with their time and honest, and we get quite. 29 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: Deep towards the end of the episode. 30 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 2: But as a mom of toe working doing the juggle, 31 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 2: I think this is a really powerful episode and I 32 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 2: hope you get something out of it. Well, welcome to 33 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: the podcast, Meghan Beautiful pop us. 34 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: Thank you PJ did to me harden. We need to 35 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: clarify what's going on here. 36 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 2: So I may or may not have not saved Meghan' 37 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 2: zumba on my phone for a very long time. I 38 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 2: need you to know that messaging is not my main 39 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 2: form of communication. And I just I'm so guilty of 40 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 2: not saving numbers on my phone and I'm always like 41 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 2: playing Giso. 42 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: But now you were safe. My old way to live? 43 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 1: Is it fix you? And You're just like, who's this? Yeah? 44 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 2: And I got back and I'm like, okay, reference point 45 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 2: two years ago. 46 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: Oh it's Melissa. Because I called you for something on here, 47 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, rude. 48 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 2: But now because I've called you Meghan beautiful, papas it 49 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 2: comes up in b so I'm always like, the. 50 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: Hell is Megan Bee? I know? And yours comes up 51 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: with something weird because it's like PJ did to me. 52 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to change that. 53 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, Meghan, and my history kind of spans back to 54 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 2: I think I was twenty fifteen or no, no, twenty thirty. 55 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, when did you first move to z It is 56 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: twenty thirteen. I think it was something around then. Yeah, 57 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: And we. 58 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 2: Were sort of the opposite end of the days on 59 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 2: the radio station, and. 60 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,280 Speaker 1: It was really cool, like we got to have a bit. 61 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 2: Of a family vibe and there was this cool kind 62 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,239 Speaker 2: of connection between the morning and afternoons, which was really nice. 63 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: And it's funny now because we've ended up in the 64 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 1: same spots. We're on the same station again, just a 65 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 1: little bit old and drive, yeah, I know, with babies 66 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 1: in the mix and not probably not partying as hard 67 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: as were used to. 68 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 2: No, life looks a little bit different, And that's exactly 69 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 2: why I wanted to get you on, because you are 70 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:51,200 Speaker 2: a working mama and I feel like you always have 71 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 2: your shit together because when I look at you, I'm like, man, 72 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 2: it's just gone. 73 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: Everything balanced is that an accurate Maybe I need to, 74 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: like I need to put some more of the bad 75 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: shit on social media maybe, But I mean when you come. 76 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 2: Into work, like I just feel like you're quite an 77 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 2: organized person. Would that be a fear a fear. 78 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 1: Statement only because I married a very organized person. So 79 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,599 Speaker 1: he runs a very tight shit, my husband. So he's 80 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 1: kind of just pulled me into line when I met him, 81 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: Like my car was the car that was full of 82 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: rubbish and like he didn't want to get into it, 83 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: and I was just I was a hot mess functioning, 84 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 1: hot mess yuse But he has helped me out a 85 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 1: little bit, I think. So now we are very structured 86 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:42,799 Speaker 1: with how we like parent and just everything. We're very organized. Really, 87 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 1: I can't handle the passive aggressive comments I get if 88 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: I don't have you got to the catch and have 89 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: you got one of those really. 90 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 2: Like super detailed roster on your fridge roster. 91 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:02,160 Speaker 1: But we've got a calendar. I've got like a month calendar, 92 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,280 Speaker 1: and everything's kind of like okay, just big things so 93 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: we know where we're at. But yeah, we're pretty organized. 94 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,239 Speaker 1: I mean that doesn't kids don't like they don't understand 95 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 1: that though, So you can be as organized as you like. 96 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: Shit will still fall apart. They'll still shit themselves when 97 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 1: you're trying to leave the house. They'll still have a 98 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: tantrum about whatever clothes you want them to wear. All 99 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,559 Speaker 1: of that stuff still happens. Just you know, you feel 100 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: bad filming that and putting it on social media when 101 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: they're screaming at you. Yeah. Have you always wanted to 102 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 1: be a mum? Yeah? Do you know what? I probably 103 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 1: kept its secret for a long time. I used to 104 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: make jokes and be like, oh, I'm not ready to 105 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: be a mom, I'm too selfish. Yeah, but like, deep down, 106 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: I always did want I knew I wanted to be 107 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 1: a mom of two. I hoped it would be a 108 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: girl and a boy. And I was one of those 109 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: people that was like, I'm gonna have babies by the 110 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: time I'm twenty five. That obviously didn't. Haaven was divorced 111 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: at twenty eight. 112 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 2: We're here for the live details, So yeah, slightly, of course, 113 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 2: But yeah I did. 114 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: I did. But I feel like you try and keep 115 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: your plans quiet when you're a woman, and when you're 116 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:18,840 Speaker 1: like in you know, a serious career that you've worked 117 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: your way up to for years and years and years, 118 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: you get to a point where you're like, I don't 119 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: want to tell everyone because how is that gonna away 120 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: fit my life? You know, we all have that in 121 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: the back of our mind. You sure you do piece 122 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: one hundred percent. It's wild And when like, did you 123 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: have a certain age when the urge really kicked in 124 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: and you're like, I really want to do this, but 125 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: I don't know how I'm gonna avigate this? Can I 126 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: can I actually even do both of these things at 127 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: the same time. Well, So my husband is ten years 128 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: younger than me, and when we got together, I was like, right, 129 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: if you're not like ready for kids, this is the age. 130 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: I was thirty five, I'm gonna be like doing this, 131 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 1: so you're either in or you're out. And he was 132 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:04,799 Speaker 1: so obviously betweenty five, which is young. Sure, just straight 133 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: up with him. Yeah, And I see to him right 134 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: off the bat of like if you're not keen, then 135 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: you're out, and he is. He's very old. He's an 136 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 1: old soul, so he was always keen for that. But 137 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: as soon I was like, right, we're gonna get married 138 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: and then to give it a year and then we're 139 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: gonna have the babies of course, shit doesn't go to plan, 140 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: Like as soon as you plan your life out like that, 141 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: stuff doesn't happen. And so thirty five I was like, right, 142 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: I need to be getting onto this. And then we 143 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: had pretty much two years of trying to get pregnant 144 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: and it was just exhausting. So yeah, it was about 145 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: thirty five or like I knew when I wanted to, 146 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: but then it didn't happen. Really, I even knew that 147 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: you tried for two years and did you ever consider 148 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 1: going down the iv throad? So we did clomba fell 149 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: or someone who's been chlorophel treatment, no chloroform clomba. It's 150 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: a tablet you take to it's like fertility treatment you 151 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: do before you go down the road of IVF. So 152 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,239 Speaker 1: we did four rounds of that and it just nothing 153 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:14,520 Speaker 1: was happening. And it's like so upsetting when you're like, okay, 154 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,640 Speaker 1: well I'm getting all the sussistance from fertility doctors and 155 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: I'm just not getting eggs growing, and so you're like, okay, 156 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: well my body sucks. And so we were like, okay, 157 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 1: we're gonna do IVF. We had it all jacked up. 158 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: We had the date we were going to pick up 159 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: the drugs, the injections, we'd done how to administer them, 160 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: We've gone through the whole shebang. I was literally going 161 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 1: to pick up the injections the day before it was 162 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: announced lockdown in twenty twenty. Oh my, And so anyone 163 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: who had started IVF treatment was allowed to continue, anyone 164 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: who hadn't started the drugs wasn't allowed to And I 165 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: was like, are you kidding me? So we were like, 166 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,319 Speaker 1: we just gotta give up on that dream for now, 167 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 1: no way, and so yeah, and so then you just 168 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:07,800 Speaker 1: keep trying. So when was that? There was like April 169 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 1: and then May we conceived, Oh my god, naturally. Yeah, 170 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: two years of like all this assistance, and I think 171 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,440 Speaker 1: and I hate. I hated it when people said to me, 172 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: as soon as you can stop trying, Yeah, don't please, 173 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: don't even say that to anyone who's having fertility issues. 174 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: But it's it happened like as soon as we kind 175 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 1: of we got locked down. So we were at home, 176 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: we were not doing much. We were just like something 177 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: else to do, yeah, and we were just drinking, like 178 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: making banana bread and shit. And then happened. I was 179 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 1: drinking so much too, Like you not even hearings. Yeah, 180 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,560 Speaker 1: and yeah, we got pregnant. So what makes me so sad? 181 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,080 Speaker 2: As when you go, there was something wrong with my 182 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 2: body and it's like a fifty to fifty, you know, 183 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 2: it's a fifty percent sheer, but the woman seems to 184 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 2: take the most guilt. It's like there's something broken about me. 185 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 2: But actually, hang on, there's two of you and the 186 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:05,280 Speaker 2: whole party here. 187 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true. And I think because it's happening 188 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: to your body too, like you kind of forget it 189 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,400 Speaker 1: does take a toll on. Like my husband was taking 190 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: it really hard, but he has told me since he 191 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 1: tried to like just push it all down because I 192 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: was he felt like I was taking it worse. So 193 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: he's like, I can't fall apart because I need to 194 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: look after her. Yes, So like it af fixed both 195 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 1: of you, Like so yeah in different ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 196 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 2: And then so that was okay during lockdown, crazy wild 197 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 2: times you were still working in radio when you did 198 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 2: finally feel pregnant. How did that feel in terms of 199 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:52,079 Speaker 2: like that whole expiration of your career. Did you kind 200 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 2: of like put that to the side, it didn't matter 201 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 2: too much, or you. 202 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 1: Know, we're like what am I gonna do? Ah, well, 203 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: I don't. I'd had a long lead in years, and 204 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: at the time I was like a bit younger, and 205 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, progressive women, we're gonna do this. 206 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: We're gonna do everything. I can do it all and 207 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: you can. 208 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 2: But like. 209 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was like, yeah, I can do this. 210 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna take three months off. And I did 211 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: do all of those things. But like in my mind 212 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: first child, I was like, we're gonna kill this. We're 213 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: gonna like, we'll have it all unlocked. The baby's going 214 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 1: to sleep, and you know, all of that kind of stuff. 215 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: And again, life kicks in and it kicks your ass 216 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: and gives you a reality check. So I wasn't too 217 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:45,560 Speaker 1: worried about it. I was like, three months off, it'll 218 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,679 Speaker 1: be sweet. Is it what you took three months off? 219 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 2: And did you make that decision kind of early on 220 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 2: in the pregnancy. 221 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, because you know, like you're in a position where 222 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: you can't you can't just take a year off and 223 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,960 Speaker 1: then expect to come back. Yeah, you know, and our 224 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 1: kind of job, it's outward facing, you know, like you 225 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: need to be there. Yes, So that was playing a 226 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,719 Speaker 1: lot in my mind. A lot. So you went back 227 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: three months later, Yeah, and I was I was. 228 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,960 Speaker 2: Breastfeeding, So I feel like it's still so tender three 229 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 2: months later. Like I had the luxury of not being 230 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 2: in a full time job at the time. I was 231 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 2: kind of I sort of caught radio for that point 232 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 2: in my life, and I just was kind of on 233 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 2: my own sort of clock doing social media jobs and 234 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,319 Speaker 2: stuff like that. 235 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: So I didn't which I loved Jason. 236 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 2: I think he doesn't, but I, you know, I didn't 237 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,839 Speaker 2: have that preciure to go back, and I just think 238 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 2: how tender I was three months you know, postparder. 239 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 1: Do you look back now going that was? That was 240 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: pretty hard? Yeah? 241 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 3: I do. 242 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: But I did it again with my second child, so 243 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,559 Speaker 1: like because I went back, and like, I don't want 244 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 1: it to be a whole with me because it was 245 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 1: a soon I made. But it was so I would 246 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: get up at three am because I was still breastfeeding. 247 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: It was like one feed during the night, and then 248 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: I'd get up at three am and I'd pump, and 249 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: then I'd go to work do the show. I tried to. 250 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 1: I tried to pump at work, but it's very hard 251 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: when you're doing stuff can't do it and someone. 252 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 3: Excuse, oh god, I don't miss a noise, and. 253 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 1: So yeah, then I'd have to like race home and 254 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,679 Speaker 1: like feed and yeah, and then you have to instantly 255 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 1: and you get home, like switch into like mum mode 256 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: and you know, get the heels off, take your makeup off, 257 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,839 Speaker 1: get into some you know. So in theory again, I 258 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 1: thought it would be great, but then when I did it, 259 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: I was like, shit, this is just like it's hard. 260 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: Like with Bastie, I was just my first my son, 261 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: my first one. I was just like vital flight. I 262 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: was just flailing. It was just and I hated breastfeeding him, 263 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: hated it. 264 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 2: And well maybe that's I mean, look, I look at 265 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 2: you now with toe and I'm just saying, how do 266 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,079 Speaker 2: you do it? Because I've I've got Charlie who's toddler, 267 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,240 Speaker 2: and I just came back into work this year, and 268 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 2: I just thinks, how is she doing not just one, 269 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 2: but two? 270 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 1: And now I'm obviously about to embark on that journey. 271 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 2: But do you think that motherhood, You know, over time, 272 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 2: it does start to feel a little bit more natural 273 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 2: and you start to relax a little bit where you 274 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 2: were pretty uptight the first time around. 275 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: That's the one thing I was going to tell you 276 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: is that the first time around is so scary because 277 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, everything is new. You're doing 278 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: everything for the first time. So you're giving birth for 279 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: the first time, you're breastfeeding for the first time, or 280 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: feeding them however, and everything is like oh my god, 281 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 1: and I don't just keep them alive. Second time, you're like, oh, 282 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 1: I've done this before. Ah yeah, I got this. Like 283 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 1: especially you've got like, you know, a two year age gap. 284 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: It will come back to you and you'll just be like, oh, 285 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,440 Speaker 1: it's all good and you're exactly right. Like the first 286 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,920 Speaker 1: time around, I was so up tired about everything this time. 287 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: Maybe that's why I is like a little bit like 288 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 1: stroppy and can hold her own because she's just kind 289 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: of been left to figure it out a little bit. 290 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 3: Yeah. 291 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, should be right, mate, should be right. Well. 292 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people say about this second. 293 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 2: One of my big fears, I mean, going into having 294 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 2: Charlie the first time and now going into a second 295 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 2: is the impact. 296 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: On the relationship. 297 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 2: And you know, when you're in the trenches, it's he's tough, 298 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 2: and when you're tired in this sleep deprivation? Do you 299 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 2: have any advice on that? 300 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: Les? How were you? I don't know how personal you 301 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 1: want to get here, but it's like, how are you, guys? 302 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: How are you after Charlie? 303 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 2: I mean, look, there were definitely tough times, but BJ 304 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 2: is a very hands on dad. I'm very the air 305 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 2: and yeah, and I think that really helps. And I 306 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 2: think I mean, look, I feel like lots of times 307 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 2: when you've got the sleep deprivation and you're really in 308 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 2: the trenches, it's pretty hard to assess. 309 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 1: That time, like it's almost a bit of a write off. 310 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 2: But once you come through, I just think it's really 311 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 2: important to communicate and just get on the same level 312 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 2: and like, and it takes a while to come back 313 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 2: to feeling human. And I think once you boys start 314 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,760 Speaker 2: to feel a bit human again, then you can kind 315 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: of properly converse. 316 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: But for a while, it's like so alien and I 317 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: know we're going to. 318 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 2: Go through that again because some people I've had some 319 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,240 Speaker 2: comments to me, like I love a people who think 320 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 2: it's hard with one, Oh my god, Like it's just 321 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 2: about to you know, really kick off. 322 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: It's not always something you just you just like ban 323 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: cut the sleep now, Like, yeah, you'll be fine. Honestly, 324 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people say one is fine, 325 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 1: two is a million or whatever it is. But there's 326 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 1: two of you, there's two kids, like and it always 327 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: you know, it feels tough when they're a newborn and 328 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,199 Speaker 1: they need you all the time. But like, now that 329 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:22,760 Speaker 1: I'm out the other side of that, you can see 330 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 1: how fast it goes. It Like, I still feels like 331 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,119 Speaker 1: a baby to me. She's just turned two, So like, 332 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 1: it goes so fast. You'll feel every single day, but 333 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,600 Speaker 1: the year will fly by, you know. And then suddenly 334 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 1: as soon as they walk and stuff like, you can 335 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 1: like leave them to play with each other. And that's 336 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,399 Speaker 1: the most incredible thing. They actually spend a lot of 337 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,160 Speaker 1: time entertaining each other and I only have to jump 338 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:50,119 Speaker 1: in when there's a fight and one is threatened. Yeah, 339 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: So like, honestly, until your bebt walks, you know that's 340 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,919 Speaker 1: you're gonna be very hands on. But that can go, 341 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,679 Speaker 1: like can some people walking at nights? They could go 342 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,160 Speaker 1: in a year And then suddenly you know, you got 343 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: a little human and she I'm convinced it's a sheep. 344 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 2: I'm convinced it's a sheet, but I don't know. Charlie 345 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:13,400 Speaker 2: always goes girl, baby girl, Charlie, is it a baby 346 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 2: boy or girl? And he goes girl, but then sometimes 347 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 2: he'll say boy. Although today he freaked me out and 348 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,960 Speaker 2: he goes baby gone and I was like what and 349 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,480 Speaker 2: he goes, no, baby girl. 350 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: Oh Jesus, Charlie, how have we never spoken about like 351 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: births and stuff. 352 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:35,360 Speaker 2: I don't know what was yours? Like both both emergency cesareans. 353 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 2: Mine was an emergency Caesar two. Yeah, welcome to the club. 354 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 2: But were you upset about it? Had you asked me 355 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 2: a week before, I would have thought I would have 356 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 2: been so gutted. 357 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 1: Uh. You know. I went in doing hypno birth thing 358 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: and I was like, this is going to be as 359 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: natural as possible. 360 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 2: And I remember the night before going into labor Beja. 361 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: I was like, hey, what happens if things work out? 362 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's how you manifest bad things, and 363 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 2: like I went off and that was obviously the hall 364 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 2: bones because I was about to go into labor and 365 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 2: he was like, no, we just need a plan bing 366 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 2: and I was like, anyway, next day, go on to 367 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:23,480 Speaker 2: labor at about seven o'clock at night and then Mom 368 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,120 Speaker 2: came out, BJ went to sleep for a bit. Mom 369 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 2: and I were chilling in the bath, so I was 370 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 2: just trying to get comfortable. We left time at about 371 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 2: one am. I remember seeing two beautiful deer as we're 372 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 2: driving down. The driver I was like, oh my god, 373 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 2: it was like this really beautiful. Okay, this is this 374 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 2: is it. It was like a weird I don't know, 375 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 2: a good omen, I guess yeah yeah, and the omen 376 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:53,879 Speaker 2: yeah fuck. That drive was horrendous, so bad. Why do 377 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 2: they not let you get on like all fours. 378 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 1: And the car? That was all I wanted to do, 379 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: like harming over no farming. 380 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 2: For one split second, we get to the hospital and 381 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 2: I thought, how many was I? 382 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,680 Speaker 1: How many? What's that? Oh my god? What I was dilated? 383 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,719 Speaker 1: Is dilated? Yeah? Yeah, just all the terminology. 384 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,440 Speaker 2: Is coming back. I want to say I was three 385 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 2: or four cinematas dilated. 386 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:24,000 Speaker 1: Okay, and then quite halfway, no, I was it more 387 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 1: like it was it felt like a decent amount. And 388 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,000 Speaker 1: and then it was like I was laboring quite quickly, 389 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:32,840 Speaker 1: and it was like my midwife was like, all right, 390 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,359 Speaker 1: it feels like we're almost on here. Then basically Charlie 391 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 1: got stuck posterior, horrendous, horrendous noises and sewed. 392 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 2: But I look back with the roasters to glasses, I'm like, 393 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 2: let's do it again. 394 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:47,760 Speaker 1: Again. 395 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 2: But once it happened, you know, absolutely absolutely no regret 396 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 2: or shame or anything. I was just stoked. He was 397 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 2: alive and safe and well and that was all that mattered. 398 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,160 Speaker 2: And I was like, what, I yes so much? 399 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,919 Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Yeah? Do you know? 400 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 1: And both times, like I tried so hard. I really 401 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,160 Speaker 1: wanted to, like I don't know why. I don't know why, 402 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 1: befot's pressure myselfs And also it sounds horrendous. Anyone who's 403 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,920 Speaker 1: had a bagetal birth, it sounds like painful. 404 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 2: There are there are I think there are some really 405 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 2: blessed ones that I don't know, Like have you've seen 406 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 2: those YouTube? But it's like painfree and it's totally and 407 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,159 Speaker 2: I wanted to do that. 408 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: It's so not like me. But I wanted to do 409 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: the natural birth and I was going to breathe my 410 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,880 Speaker 1: way through it. And then I was like amy joy 411 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 1: and then emergencies AIRI and I just cried and I 412 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,399 Speaker 1: was like I don't want to and then we're like 413 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 1: everyone's going, well, the baby needs to just come out 414 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,480 Speaker 1: in the safest way, and I was like fine, So 415 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: we did it. But the first time around it was 416 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,119 Speaker 1: quite brutal because I needed to have a spinal tap 417 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,560 Speaker 1: in the end because my epidural wore off, so I 418 00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:00,200 Speaker 1: couldn't feel anything from my nick down and I was 419 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:03,479 Speaker 1: just like completely numb. But then I started to I 420 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 1: had to have pithadone. I don't even remember why, and 421 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: then I started shaking, and so I was pretty much 422 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: kind of out of it when my son was born. 423 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,880 Speaker 1: So Andrew, my husband, filmed a video. I don't remember it, 424 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 1: but I was awake, but I'm so grateful that he 425 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 1: filmed when basically got put on me. Yeah, the only 426 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 1: thing I remember not seeing him, but I remember thinking, 427 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,800 Speaker 1: get him off me because I'm gonna drop him because 428 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 1: I couldn't feel anything, and obviously they were holding him, 429 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,160 Speaker 1: but my first thought was get him off me. He's 430 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,520 Speaker 1: gonna fall on the floor. And that's all I remember. 431 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: So I'm so thankful that he's got a video of it, 432 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: because I actually spoke to him and I was like, 433 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: you know, I was like my baby, But I don't 434 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: remember any of that. Yeah, so it was like, really, 435 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:58,120 Speaker 1: it was a really tough first outing. Did you when 436 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: you were pregnant first time? And now that you know 437 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 1: you're pregod second time? Have you googled more or less? Less? 438 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: Wildly less? 439 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,120 Speaker 2: And oh my god, I wish you could the voice 440 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,240 Speaker 2: notes that I sent to my midwife the first time round. 441 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, You're like, is this normal? Is everything? Is this normal? 442 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 1: It's normal when coms a pleading, when I brush my teeth? 443 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: Am I dying? I've just haaid a kebab and I'm 444 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: worried that maybe do you think the kebab meat might 445 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,719 Speaker 1: be a little bit funny? 446 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 2: She's so like Rea suing every time I actually see 447 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,040 Speaker 2: her my voice first voice message in a long time 448 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 2: this morning, just saying, oh wait, what did I say. 449 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 1: Today? It is your resident, It's Teresa. I'm just be 450 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:45,760 Speaker 1: strong because. 451 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 2: I feel like I've even felt lots of kicks consistently. 452 00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes I do feel a lot of flutters, 453 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: and then I'm like, oh my god, should be feeling more? 454 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,840 Speaker 1: Should I be showing more? I feel like I'm fed, 455 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 1: Like my belly is beat at this time, and it's 456 00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:58,879 Speaker 1: soft and not such. 457 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,880 Speaker 2: An obvious one, but I'm definitely bigger, and I'm sure 458 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:02,000 Speaker 2: it is. 459 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,320 Speaker 1: It just doesn't feel very consistent in it. 460 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,520 Speaker 2: Sometimes I like, I don't know, is it almost been 461 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 2: coming to like chicken heartpet or do you think I 462 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:12,880 Speaker 2: know something had happened? 463 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:14,639 Speaker 1: Next page? 464 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 2: Also, the headaches have been awful this time around. 465 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 1: Yes, So anyway, she's freaking amazing. She sent me back 466 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: in an amazing. 467 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 2: Reassuring voice message, saying, look, we don't even start monitoring 468 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 2: the kicks from like twenty five weeks. 469 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,320 Speaker 1: I don't need to be consistent because. 470 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 2: I just felt like little flutters and bubbles and all 471 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,680 Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. But I just can't remember last 472 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,119 Speaker 2: like when I felt stuff last time. 473 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 1: I think it's about around twenty weeks. You get kind 474 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 1: of consistent, Yeah, feelings did you feel in the second time? 475 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 1: The baby? Just like everything is softer. I just feel 476 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,440 Speaker 1: like I did not look cute. I did not look 477 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:57,040 Speaker 1: cute with my bombs. You think that, but you you do, 478 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:01,440 Speaker 1: and like, just do I will I look back even 479 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,680 Speaker 1: if you never put them anywhere. Just take photos of 480 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,159 Speaker 1: yourself because I've got like a handful because I was 481 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,959 Speaker 1: such a baby about it. Like, just take photos of yourself. 482 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,120 Speaker 1: Just for your own thing, you know, but you're right, 483 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 1: Like the bump shows earlier. It's because your muscles and 484 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: everything are like they know what they're doing. They're right again, 485 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 1: everyone shows a bit earlier. Sometimes it's a bit lower, 486 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:28,400 Speaker 1: like you know, you might find that something's I feel 487 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 1: like the shape of my stomach has changed, yes, like forever, 488 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,479 Speaker 1: Like there's certain parts of you that might change forever. 489 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,400 Speaker 1: Like my boobs are a bit saggier. 490 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 2: So saggy, and I don't know how I'm gonna do 491 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,360 Speaker 2: like they are like so si and like now they've 492 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,720 Speaker 2: got like all koshy again. 493 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 1: They've all got coshy again. 494 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 2: And nice because I'm pregnant, but you wait till boast breastfeeding. 495 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 2: But it's just part of it, and it's part of 496 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 2: it and we have to, you know, embrace it because 497 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,040 Speaker 2: what our body has actually created. 498 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:05,719 Speaker 1: Is something that you wouldn't trade anything in the world. Yeah. Yeah, 499 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:06,880 Speaker 1: you're amazing. 500 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 2: Oh I was going to talk about actually body confidence 501 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 2: just yeah, because it feels so trivial to be insecure 502 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 2: during a time where you're creating a human But it's 503 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:24,159 Speaker 2: something I really struggle with continuing to be able to 504 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:28,359 Speaker 2: be positive about. Yeah, and it feels so much trivial 505 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,639 Speaker 2: when so many people have so many issues actually falling 506 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,960 Speaker 2: pregnant in the first place. You hear, am I worried 507 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,359 Speaker 2: about how my fucking leags look. It's just so stupid, 508 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 2: but I can't knock it out my head. 509 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's all relative to you, right, Like, how 510 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: do you okay? So, say you needed to go to 511 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,199 Speaker 1: like some radio function and you need to get dressed up, 512 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: how initially, how are you feeling right now? 513 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 2: I just don't have to dress myself because I feel 514 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,400 Speaker 2: like I'm in the between bays, Like I don't look 515 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,000 Speaker 2: good in the maternity gear, I don't look. 516 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 1: Good in normal gear, so I try the beggy stuff. 517 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,119 Speaker 1: But I'm so sure and I just look stupid, like 518 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: I'm we're in a bag, you know. 519 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 2: I think it's just that in between phase particularly, and 520 00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 2: like because I've been keeping it on the d LO, 521 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:12,040 Speaker 2: I haven't really fully been able to embrace the bump. 522 00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 2: And it's just that kind of like your identity is 523 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 2: challenged quite a lot along the way. I think when 524 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 2: you're so fixated on how you were and you just 525 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 2: have to know that you just keep changing. But I 526 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,520 Speaker 2: think this time I have the reassurance of I got 527 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,240 Speaker 2: through it last time. I remember feeling like this last time, 528 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,760 Speaker 2: but I remember coming out the other side and actually 529 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,439 Speaker 2: running a half marathon, not straight a back like a. 530 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: Couple of years ago. 531 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 2: You know, your body does bounce back in time, however 532 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 2: that looks for you, and it's just taking it pressure off. 533 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:52,080 Speaker 2: But it still doesn't mean that you have those body 534 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,400 Speaker 2: image struggles along the way. 535 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you also don't like I don't like saying 536 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:04,080 Speaker 1: bounce back. Hate doesn't need to know you body. You 537 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,120 Speaker 1: never lost your body. It doesn't have to come back, 538 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,439 Speaker 1: and it's probably not going to be the same. It 539 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,199 Speaker 1: can be different, but it can still be strong and 540 00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 1: it can still be And like I'm saying this to 541 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 1: you as someone who went through exactly what you're going 542 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 1: through and like didn't want photos taken of me and 543 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 1: was just like constantly feeling like you're a lump and 544 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,320 Speaker 1: you know, like everything it's not only what you can see, 545 00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 1: and it's not just like weight and stuff. It's the 546 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: fact that you're tired. It's the fact that your feet hurt, 547 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 1: it's the fact that your guns are bleeding, it's you know, 548 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:36,639 Speaker 1: like it's all of the extra boobs and tenre yeah yeah, 549 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,560 Speaker 1: and that so you're spelling and everything makes you feel sick, 550 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: and it's all of it all makes you feel gross. 551 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,680 Speaker 1: It totally does. And I do find that there'll be 552 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 1: days where I am feeling better and I'm like, hang on, 553 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 1: why was I so harsh for myself yesterday? 554 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 2: And even if I just do like a light work hard, 555 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 2: you know, I'm not like going hard out or whatever. 556 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,239 Speaker 2: But when I do feel good in those moments, I'll 557 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,320 Speaker 2: try and like member body more and I will find 558 00:28:58,360 --> 00:28:59,160 Speaker 2: that that does. 559 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: Give me that boost of confident. And it's such a 560 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,560 Speaker 1: mental mental thing, like the more you move, the more 561 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: you feel like you're actually nuturing your body. Then you 562 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:13,080 Speaker 1: do you do wrap the benefits from it, but you 563 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 1: just need to slow it down. 564 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 2: Well, actually, I well, this is where we get into 565 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,840 Speaker 2: the podcast where we talk about the practices that you 566 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 2: like to do that you know will keep you saying, 567 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 2: because you're incredibly busy, you're working, you've got two little kids, 568 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:35,440 Speaker 2: how does me again making beautiful puppaus stay sane in 569 00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 2: the chaos? 570 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 1: I mean the chaos. I remember going to my therapist 571 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 1: and I'm always like trying to get him to fix 572 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 1: my realities. And he's kind of just like you've got 573 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: to get comfortable in the chaos, like just breathe and 574 00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,719 Speaker 1: be like let it all flow around you. And like 575 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: that's so true with two kids. I'm trying to control 576 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: these little people who don't want to be controlled, and 577 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 1: so I'm trying, I said, so everyday thing, I'm trying 578 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 1: to just breathe and be like does this matter in 579 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: this moment? Does this matter? You're like fighting trying to 580 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 1: get shoes on because you've got to get out the door. 581 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,040 Speaker 1: And I'm like, she's going in the car with barefeeta, 582 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 1: take the shoes, and like, does this matter if she's 583 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 1: not wearing what I wanted to wear, she's wearing a 584 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,880 Speaker 1: hive's vest with her tutu and gum boots. Does it matter? 585 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 1: Notice that I always say she Okay, we found the 586 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 1: rebel in the duo, but like, honestly, just like be 587 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,880 Speaker 1: comfortable in the manness. Because we used to always say 588 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 1: me and Andrew that we just need to get through this, 589 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,560 Speaker 1: if we just get through this week, because every week 590 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 1: was busy, but then it never changed, like you just 591 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 1: constantly got stuff happening. So we tried to stop doing 592 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 1: that and just be like we're just comfortable. We just 593 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 1: need to breathe. Nothing is heart surgery in our life, 594 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 1: like we might be doing a podcast or you know, 595 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 1: like it's just yarning. Nothing is that important. We're not 596 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 1: saving lives for your sanity, you know. Yeah. And like 597 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: even because I had reflux, so she cried a lot 598 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,600 Speaker 1: as a baby, and it would just you know, like 599 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 1: a crying baby is just so hard on your mental health. 600 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 1: And so for a long time, every time she would cry, 601 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 1: I'd just be really triggered and I'd kind of melt down. 602 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 1: And Andrew's like, she is okay, she's crying because she's 603 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,280 Speaker 1: having a meltdown. She's safe, she's feared, she's got to clean, 604 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 1: like there's nothing wrong with her. Just like breathe and 605 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:44,720 Speaker 1: take take a moment. Like I used to go away 606 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,600 Speaker 1: and take a moment for myself even when she was crying, 607 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 1: Like she'd be in her cot and I'd go away 608 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 1: and I'd be like I need a moment for myself 609 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: just to like breathe and be like, Okay, go back 610 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: in there. 611 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 2: She is safe, she is well feed, she's okay, she's crying. Yeah, 612 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,920 Speaker 2: but you actually have to tend to yourself in those 613 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 2: moments or else, Yes. 614 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 1: You're just praying from me, you can't cry, or you're 615 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 1: gonna you know, you're just gonna yell, or I don't know, 616 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 1: you're just gonna. It's not gonna be good for her 617 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 1: or good for you. So I just go away and 618 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:20,720 Speaker 1: I go what matters in this moment? What matters in 619 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:21,240 Speaker 1: this moment? 620 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, packing your battles, I'm learning now two year old, 621 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 2: that is very important. 622 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,680 Speaker 1: Who cares if he goes to be with an onion? 623 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:28,560 Speaker 1: Is it hurting anyone? 624 00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 3: No? 625 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:32,640 Speaker 1: Oh my god? 626 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 3: Why did they take weird shit? 627 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: To be honestly? Now he has to take a dog 628 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:37,640 Speaker 1: to the beard. 629 00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,360 Speaker 2: So I'm like, okay, come on figgie, like it's my 630 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,120 Speaker 2: only way of getting him to bed? Or does he 631 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 2: bring in the wheelbarrow? Does he bring in like freaking digger, whatever, it'll. 632 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: Get him to bed? And I'm like, am I just 633 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: being a push over mum? Probably? Nah? Like they just 634 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,440 Speaker 1: attached to things like I has to go to sleep 635 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,280 Speaker 1: with one of those Mowana Disney cards every night at 636 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,959 Speaker 1: the moment, and then last night I took it off 637 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,040 Speaker 1: her because I was like, well, I don't want to 638 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: stick to her mouth or something, so like took it 639 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: out once she'd gone to sleep, and then in the 640 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 1: middle of the night she wakes up and she's like, ah, 641 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, she can't find the card. 642 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,360 Speaker 2: Like why can't they just like a cute little snugly 643 00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,640 Speaker 2: or she's got four bunnies in there with her cut 644 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:20,640 Speaker 2: on one of him. Wake it's going to be hard 645 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 2: and random the object. But oh, it's so true. Like 646 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 2: I think we're all really guilty of the site going oh, 647 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 2: it'll be better win dot dot and it's just such a. 648 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: Messious cycles get through this. Yeah, yeah, it will be. 649 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 2: And maybe she's just gotta be like it's perfect now, 650 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 2: even though Bill's chaotic, it's actually perfect right now in 651 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 2: this moment, And I'm not going to have any other 652 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 2: moment like this, and I just have a freaking suck 653 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 2: it up because we will look back on these days 654 00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 2: and we were just wish that we were more present. 655 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:55,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, And like I always think of like me when 656 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,239 Speaker 1: I was younger, and I like even just when we 657 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 1: were trying to get pregnant, how desperate we were for 658 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: a baby. We were just we were just like we 659 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 1: just like one will be enough if we can never 660 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: do it again. And we were just desperate and now 661 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,160 Speaker 1: we've got him. And like also when we were like 662 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,319 Speaker 1: doing broadcasting school and stuff, we were like, we're just 663 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,480 Speaker 1: desperate to have this radio gig. And you get these 664 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 1: things and then you're like right next and you're don't 665 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:23,600 Speaker 1: freaking appreciate it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. And like when 666 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 1: I stopped doing breakfast radio, like in the moment, you're like, 667 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 1: I'm so tired, it's so busy all this, and then 668 00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 1: I stopped doing it for two years, and now that 669 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: I'm back here, I'm like, God, you need to appreciate this. 670 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,839 Speaker 1: You need to stop breathe who cares about the early 671 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,759 Speaker 1: mornings because you know you love it, Like, just appreciate everything. 672 00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 1: And yeah, have you felt that since coming back? 673 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 2: Now you've got your two babies, you care less about 674 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 2: the shit that you. 675 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,920 Speaker 1: Used to worry about pre babies. 676 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:59,560 Speaker 2: In terms of comparing yourself to other people in the industry. 677 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,319 Speaker 1: You want me to say, no, no, no, it's not. 678 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 2: I want you to be honest, because I still do 679 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,240 Speaker 2: and like, no, I thought that when you have babies 680 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 2: you stop caring about that shit. And yes, I think 681 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,720 Speaker 2: you do stop caring about a lot of superfluous stuff 682 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:14,680 Speaker 2: that you used to. 683 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 1: See over Yeah, man, we still our brains still get 684 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: the bigger of us. 685 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,799 Speaker 2: Like I look back and I feel like I was 686 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 2: so much more successful in some ways a few years ago, 687 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,880 Speaker 2: and I look at myself now and you're like, oh 688 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,239 Speaker 2: my god, I. 689 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,200 Speaker 1: Have I gone backwards? 690 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 2: But no, because when I was in that position, all 691 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,319 Speaker 2: I wanted was what I've got right now. And it's 692 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,479 Speaker 2: back to that not appreciating what you've got. 693 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:45,360 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I couldn't everything you just said. Everything you 694 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:51,719 Speaker 1: just said, because I obviously like left a show, and 695 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,239 Speaker 1: I went through a whole period where I was like 696 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,839 Speaker 1: do I want to put this on a podcast? When 697 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,279 Speaker 1: I and I don't cry. I had a moment where 698 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 1: I was like do I regret this? And like I 699 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:13,279 Speaker 1: had to fight to not regret having my child, and 700 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,919 Speaker 1: I was like, have I ruined one thing and search 701 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:23,160 Speaker 1: for another? And that's like, God, that's a lot, but 702 00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:25,920 Speaker 1: that's something that like women, I'm sure a lot of 703 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,839 Speaker 1: women like think. And then now saying it out loud, 704 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,839 Speaker 1: I feel so much shame because of course I don't 705 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,120 Speaker 1: regret I know either, my babies are the best thing 706 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,480 Speaker 1: and the best thing that's ever happened. 707 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 2: And you'd never ever trade them in for the world. 708 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 2: But when your ego comes in from a career perspective 709 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 2: and progress, and if you're looking at how the world 710 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:51,040 Speaker 2: perceives you looking inside you know, then you can't help 711 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,120 Speaker 2: but compare yourself. 712 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:52,879 Speaker 1: But only you. 713 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:58,560 Speaker 2: Know what truly matters to you, like truly truly matters 714 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 2: to you. But I think because the so much validation 715 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,440 Speaker 2: needed online and there's so much people proving how successful 716 00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:09,960 Speaker 2: they are all the time, you can't help but feel 717 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:11,400 Speaker 2: dragged into that game. 718 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:12,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 719 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, when you know truly what brings you the most 720 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:20,919 Speaker 2: joy is your family and your beautiful children. But when 721 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,839 Speaker 2: you're feeling weaker, when you're feeling those days of insecurity, 722 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,320 Speaker 2: you start having these Christians and you feel guilty a 723 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:29,480 Speaker 2: one hundred percent of what you mean. But there's no 724 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,800 Speaker 2: shame in that, because I think a lot of women 725 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:34,240 Speaker 2: would have exactly the same moment. 726 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:39,799 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is hard when you find so you've got. 727 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,880 Speaker 1: I always think when your personal life is thriving, sometimes 728 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:46,439 Speaker 1: your professional life is not, and vice versa. Like when 729 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:51,160 Speaker 1: I was probably doing the best professionally I was like 730 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:57,480 Speaker 1: having a meltdown. I was like having struggles with my relationship. 731 00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:01,839 Speaker 1: I'm like having fertility issues, Like I'm struggling to even 732 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,840 Speaker 1: get out of bid to go and have laughs on 733 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 1: the radio. But I'm having the you know, prime of 734 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:12,200 Speaker 1: my professional career and vice versa. You know, so you can't. 735 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 2: I always come back to this quote, you can have 736 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,520 Speaker 2: it all, but just not at the same time. 737 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you need to be happy with We don't 738 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,719 Speaker 1: need to be happy, but you should try and find 739 00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:27,600 Speaker 1: the joy and everything you've got at each moment because 740 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 1: there is joy in each face one hundred and we 741 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:34,799 Speaker 1: just have to do what we can to not look 742 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,200 Speaker 1: no answer to that because I don't preach that kind 743 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,760 Speaker 1: of stuff on that. Don't listen to that, but appreciate 744 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,719 Speaker 1: what we've got in front of you. But still the 745 00:38:44,719 --> 00:38:50,200 Speaker 1: brain goes and I think, I think it is doing 746 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,799 Speaker 1: things yet encourage your own self esteem and make you 747 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,279 Speaker 1: feel better in yourself. So whether it is going to 748 00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:00,400 Speaker 1: your little pilates class, or whether it's surrounding for the 749 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:05,600 Speaker 1: right people or doing you know, like positive informations which 750 00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:08,600 Speaker 1: to some people might send corny, but whatever it is 751 00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:13,800 Speaker 1: that you can do to come back to you're really 752 00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,879 Speaker 1: your strong place, do you know what I mean? 753 00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:18,120 Speaker 2: Where you are feeling confident in yourself and that looks 754 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:18,920 Speaker 2: different for everyone. 755 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I do. Like this is so corny, but like 756 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,960 Speaker 1: I've started trying to because I've forever been the person 757 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,719 Speaker 1: that would like look in the mirror, specially when you're 758 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 1: naked and be like ugh, saggy burt, or like say 759 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,759 Speaker 1: horrible things to myself. But I remember saying to our 760 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,880 Speaker 1: mutual friend Caitlin, I was like, don't talk to yourself 761 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 1: like that. Don't talk to my friend like that. And 762 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,480 Speaker 1: I was like, I would never let anyone talk to 763 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,560 Speaker 1: you like that. So I'm not gonna let you talk 764 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 1: to yourself like that. But then I'm guilty of doing 765 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:47,240 Speaker 1: it to myself. 766 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 2: I know you'll let your you won't get your friends, 767 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 2: but your best friend who should be you'll best friend you, 768 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,439 Speaker 2: and you'll you'll say. 769 00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,800 Speaker 1: The nastiest things to them. So stop being so nice. 770 00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:02,000 Speaker 1: I've tried to now, like before I have a shower, 771 00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,160 Speaker 1: be like, yeah, you're like doing well, you look like 772 00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,480 Speaker 1: your arms look strong at the moment, or like you know, 773 00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,439 Speaker 1: like yep, try and be kind to myself. This skin 774 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:15,240 Speaker 1: looks clear or you know, because I'm also very conscious 775 00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,040 Speaker 1: of the impact I'm giving to both of my kids. 776 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:23,920 Speaker 1: So we try and do like positive. We're very mirror positive. Yeah, 777 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,200 Speaker 1: we try and like dancing from the mirror or be like, 778 00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,880 Speaker 1: you know, look cruel, you look cute, you look so cool, 779 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,960 Speaker 1: look at your dance moves. Like everything is positive when 780 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,879 Speaker 1: we look in the mirror, even if like I look 781 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,840 Speaker 1: at it, I'm like, oh, insert nasti comment here about myself. 782 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 2: You can turn it around us and you can do it, 783 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,400 Speaker 2: and you actually can turn around you're thinking like you 784 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:46,719 Speaker 2: if you do repeat these things over and over, you 785 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,799 Speaker 2: do start to believe it, whether it's negative or whether 786 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,880 Speaker 2: it's positive. I always love the I don't know. I 787 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:53,600 Speaker 2: use this mancher the other day and it was like, 788 00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,880 Speaker 2: what if everything just works out? Like instead of going 789 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,919 Speaker 2: into the day feeling like everything's just kind of shit, 790 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 2: what if everything just what if everything worked up for you? 791 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:06,040 Speaker 1: What if today? What if I don't make it in time? 792 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,920 Speaker 1: What if I can't do this? If it like why catastrophizing? 793 00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 1: That's quite cool? Yeah, what if everything just works out? 794 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:14,839 Speaker 1: Like what if everything is actually just working in your favor? Okay, 795 00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to wrap this up with a bit of 796 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,600 Speaker 1: advice that you give to your younger self going into 797 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:20,279 Speaker 1: the Korea that. 798 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:26,000 Speaker 2: You were going into early twenties, What would you say 799 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:31,240 Speaker 2: to young Megan, beautiful Pappas, don't let. 800 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:35,960 Speaker 1: Anyone dim your light, Don't let anyone tell you you're not 801 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:40,759 Speaker 1: good enough, Like try and keep who you are always 802 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,960 Speaker 1: in every moment. That is the most important thing. Like 803 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: just shine bright, speak loud, don't try and like make 804 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,600 Speaker 1: yourself smaller for anything or anyone. This is what I 805 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:56,040 Speaker 1: tell myself. And don't try not to care about what 806 00:41:56,080 --> 00:42:03,360 Speaker 1: you look like, because you look fucking great about it. 807 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:10,240 Speaker 1: It's gonna stag and drop and expand, so enjoy it. Oh, Megan, 808 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,520 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on today. I really 809 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:16,480 Speaker 1: appreciate it for having me. Congratulations. I don't felt like 810 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,160 Speaker 1: we didn't delve into your pregnancy enough. Well, I'm gonna 811 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:24,360 Speaker 1: probably go into it too much over. I'm so excited 812 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 1: for you, and I know it's gonna be a girl. 813 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,319 Speaker 1: I reckon, it's gonna be your power. But you're I 814 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:35,400 Speaker 1: love you equally. Well. 815 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:39,840 Speaker 2: That was my episode with Megan Papas and I loved 816 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,279 Speaker 2: Jenny with mes I feel like we could have gone 817 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,160 Speaker 2: on for a very, very long time. 818 00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:46,920 Speaker 1: Some powerful takeaways. 819 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,280 Speaker 2: That I got from the episode were basically choosing your battles, 820 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:55,319 Speaker 2: is this worth worth actually stressing out and stepping back 821 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,960 Speaker 2: at tacking of breath and just surrendering to the chaos 822 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:02,080 Speaker 2: that is around you, but also pushing aside that mentality 823 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,719 Speaker 2: of everything will be better when dot dot dot. We're 824 00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:10,239 Speaker 2: both obviously so guilty of just taking off things in 825 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:14,120 Speaker 2: life like we Okay, you get this job, great, You've 826 00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,200 Speaker 2: wanted that for so long. 827 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,759 Speaker 1: What's next? You know? And I think in life we 828 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:22,040 Speaker 1: are so programmed to do that, Okay, cool, I've done this. 829 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:25,120 Speaker 2: Now what instead of actually sitting there and enjoying the view, 830 00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,360 Speaker 2: sucking it all, sucking it all in, but you know, 831 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:32,000 Speaker 2: really lapping it up and appreciating how far we've come. 832 00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:34,840 Speaker 2: But instead we're like Noah, next, next, next, next, next, 833 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 2: And then hearing Megan's raw honesty on what I'd say 834 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:46,160 Speaker 2: a lot of women do feel when they I mean, 835 00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,279 Speaker 2: if you look at it on paper, your career takes 836 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:51,400 Speaker 2: a backstep for a while when you go into that 837 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,279 Speaker 2: role of being a mother, and you can't help but 838 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,319 Speaker 2: have these feelings of what if you know, what if 839 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:59,279 Speaker 2: I didn't do this, It doesn't mean that you love 840 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,719 Speaker 2: your children any Yes, but it's the ego coming in 841 00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,319 Speaker 2: and trying to take over your mind. And it's just 842 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,960 Speaker 2: been strong enough to know that you actually wanted this 843 00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:12,000 Speaker 2: the whole time, and it is the reality of making 844 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:15,160 Speaker 2: that decision. There has to be a sacrifice that comes 845 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,840 Speaker 2: with it. And I will always come back to the 846 00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:20,840 Speaker 2: saying you can have everything, that you just can't have 847 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,879 Speaker 2: everything at once. And perhaps maybe this is taking you 848 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,160 Speaker 2: on a greater path that you can't see right now. 849 00:44:28,239 --> 00:44:31,320 Speaker 2: This is like a diversion and all will make sense 850 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:32,840 Speaker 2: down the track. 851 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:34,320 Speaker 1: Right now, it feels like you're behind. 852 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,319 Speaker 2: But once you step back and get to look at 853 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,520 Speaker 2: the greater picture, then you'll be like, oh, no, I 854 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,320 Speaker 2: did make the right choice, and you have to stand 855 00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:46,919 Speaker 2: firm with what feels right inside. That's my little it's 856 00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:48,520 Speaker 2: my little pep talk that I'm going to leave you 857 00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,840 Speaker 2: with if you've felt like you've been in a similar situation. 858 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,320 Speaker 2: But I'm really really grateful for Megan coming on this week. 859 00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,400 Speaker 2: I'd love to know what you got out of this 860 00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,640 Speaker 2: week's special episode. I was slow it down. You can 861 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:03,560 Speaker 2: always get in touch with me on Instagram at pj DJ, 862 00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:08,240 Speaker 2: and I'll be back next Sunday with another episode.