1 00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:10,427 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Weekend Sport podcast with Jason Vine 2 00:00:10,707 --> 00:00:11,747 Speaker 1: from newstalk ZEDB. 3 00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:15,307 Speaker 2: It's great to have on a regular basis on Weekend 4 00:00:15,387 --> 00:00:18,187 Speaker 2: Sport the wisdom of one of the great coaching minds 5 00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:20,147 Speaker 2: in this part of the world or any part of 6 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:23,627 Speaker 2: the world, coaching guru Wayne Goldsmith, who joins us now 7 00:00:23,627 --> 00:00:25,427 Speaker 2: at Wayne, thanks for your time. I wanted to chat 8 00:00:25,427 --> 00:00:29,227 Speaker 2: today about what I saw you call online in the 9 00:00:29,307 --> 00:00:32,947 Speaker 2: last week or so sports biggest myth, and in your view, 10 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,027 Speaker 2: we were the ones who created it. The myth is 11 00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:38,827 Speaker 2: that parents are the problem. You say that for decades 12 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:42,707 Speaker 2: we have treated parents like enemies when it comes to 13 00:00:42,787 --> 00:00:46,147 Speaker 2: their kids playing sport, and then we've complained when they 14 00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:50,347 Speaker 2: became too demanding, We've excluded them, refused to educate them, 15 00:00:50,387 --> 00:00:54,787 Speaker 2: and then criticized their expectations. In fact, you believe parents 16 00:00:54,787 --> 00:01:00,067 Speaker 2: are actually sport's greatest untapped resource, not it's biggest problem. 17 00:01:00,347 --> 00:01:03,507 Speaker 2: So let's unpack this. Where for starters, did the parents 18 00:01:03,627 --> 00:01:06,107 Speaker 2: are the problem myth actually come from? 19 00:01:06,547 --> 00:01:09,507 Speaker 3: Well, it's an interesting one point, isn't it that I 20 00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:14,547 Speaker 3: think because there's a very very small fraction of parents 21 00:01:14,587 --> 00:01:18,267 Speaker 3: who are you know, what's the technical term ratbag parents, 22 00:01:18,307 --> 00:01:19,987 Speaker 3: the ones that run up and down the side of 23 00:01:20,027 --> 00:01:22,467 Speaker 3: the bill or run up and down the side of 24 00:01:22,507 --> 00:01:23,987 Speaker 3: the field yelling abuse. 25 00:01:24,507 --> 00:01:26,187 Speaker 4: They're very rare. 26 00:01:27,107 --> 00:01:32,667 Speaker 3: But I think they're disproportionately represented in media and coaching 27 00:01:32,707 --> 00:01:38,227 Speaker 3: programs and coaching courses, And when we see someone who's 28 00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:41,907 Speaker 3: really vocal but yelling at referees and so on, I 29 00:01:41,987 --> 00:01:44,667 Speaker 3: think a lot of parents have been tired. If you're 30 00:01:44,707 --> 00:01:48,627 Speaker 3: like with that brush and it sort of became all right, well, 31 00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:51,147 Speaker 3: then how do we manage all parents? 32 00:01:51,187 --> 00:01:52,147 Speaker 4: Not go hang on? 33 00:01:52,187 --> 00:01:56,507 Speaker 3: There's a small number who've got some issues around being 34 00:01:56,907 --> 00:02:01,507 Speaker 3: overly invested or overly passionate, or expressing emotions in a 35 00:02:01,627 --> 00:02:05,187 Speaker 3: challenging way. I think we all got sucked into well, 36 00:02:05,427 --> 00:02:09,547 Speaker 3: all parents are be because of a very small number 37 00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:12,787 Speaker 3: who've got some genuine issues, and then that of course 38 00:02:12,827 --> 00:02:17,027 Speaker 3: gets grabbed on by sporting associations and media are and 39 00:02:17,107 --> 00:02:20,547 Speaker 3: it becomes easy to talk about the nightmare parent and 40 00:02:20,547 --> 00:02:22,707 Speaker 3: the horrible parent and the terror parent. 41 00:02:23,387 --> 00:02:26,427 Speaker 4: My experience is it's a very very small. 42 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:28,987 Speaker 3: Number, but it's got out of control to the point 43 00:02:28,987 --> 00:02:31,627 Speaker 3: where a lot of coaches will say, you know, the 44 00:02:31,667 --> 00:02:34,027 Speaker 3: best thing to do is coach next to an orphanage, 45 00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:37,107 Speaker 3: or the best thing to do is to ban parents 46 00:02:37,107 --> 00:02:37,627 Speaker 3: all together. 47 00:02:38,107 --> 00:02:39,747 Speaker 4: I don't think that's the right approach. 48 00:02:40,587 --> 00:02:44,147 Speaker 2: Now, you believe most difficult parents are simply one of 49 00:02:44,147 --> 00:02:49,067 Speaker 2: two things, or both scared and uninformed, they're not necessarily 50 00:02:49,107 --> 00:02:51,547 Speaker 2: and for the most part, they're not malicious at all. 51 00:02:51,627 --> 00:02:54,107 Speaker 2: Can you just expand on on the fact that they're 52 00:02:54,667 --> 00:02:58,587 Speaker 2: scared and uninformed, scared of what and uninformed obviously about 53 00:02:58,587 --> 00:03:00,467 Speaker 2: the sport that their kids are involved in. 54 00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:03,587 Speaker 3: Well, the most precious thing if you're a parent, even 55 00:03:03,627 --> 00:03:06,787 Speaker 3: when your kids are being annoying and always asking for 56 00:03:06,827 --> 00:03:09,747 Speaker 3: I've got eight kids and I feel like an automatic 57 00:03:09,787 --> 00:03:13,547 Speaker 3: tele machine with legs these days. But even when they're 58 00:03:13,587 --> 00:03:16,427 Speaker 3: being their most difficult and annoying and challenging, we still 59 00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:19,707 Speaker 3: love them more than our next breath. We still love 60 00:03:19,747 --> 00:03:22,707 Speaker 3: them with everything we've got. And then we in a 61 00:03:22,747 --> 00:03:25,187 Speaker 3: sporting context, we take them down the like a rugby 62 00:03:25,227 --> 00:03:29,547 Speaker 3: feld or netball or cricket swimming anywhere, and we're saying, look, 63 00:03:29,587 --> 00:03:34,587 Speaker 3: I'm going to entrust this beautiful, precious thing that I 64 00:03:34,827 --> 00:03:40,467 Speaker 3: value above life itself to you coach, or to you club, 65 00:03:40,707 --> 00:03:45,587 Speaker 3: or to you official. And they're nervous about well, will 66 00:03:45,627 --> 00:03:46,907 Speaker 3: they treat my child with a. 67 00:03:46,907 --> 00:03:49,347 Speaker 4: Saving love and respect that I do. 68 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:52,667 Speaker 3: Will they have enough care about my child's well being, 69 00:03:52,707 --> 00:03:55,387 Speaker 3: welfare and realizing their potential. 70 00:03:55,467 --> 00:03:58,867 Speaker 4: And it's a very nervous, nervous moment, particularly. 71 00:03:58,427 --> 00:04:00,747 Speaker 3: If you're a young parent or a parent who's a 72 00:04:00,787 --> 00:04:03,547 Speaker 3: first time parent who hasn't had a lot of experience 73 00:04:03,627 --> 00:04:07,107 Speaker 3: with kindergarten or pre school or primary school, secondary skill. 74 00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:11,067 Speaker 3: You're not quite sure, and out of that fear of well, 75 00:04:11,387 --> 00:04:13,387 Speaker 3: will they know what to do to help my child? 76 00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:15,507 Speaker 4: Well, what I'll do just to be sure, I'll tell 77 00:04:15,507 --> 00:04:16,227 Speaker 4: my kids what to do. 78 00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:20,507 Speaker 3: I'll step in, I'll yell out instructions from the Sideline's 79 00:04:20,507 --> 00:04:23,187 Speaker 3: that's a big one. And the other one is I 80 00:04:23,227 --> 00:04:26,787 Speaker 3: think a lot of parents just don't know what good 81 00:04:26,907 --> 00:04:31,227 Speaker 3: parenting looks like. I think they confuse good parenting with 82 00:04:31,307 --> 00:04:33,347 Speaker 3: the volume of their voice. The more they heard on 83 00:04:33,387 --> 00:04:37,027 Speaker 3: the sideline, the better they must be parenting. And it's 84 00:04:37,107 --> 00:04:39,547 Speaker 3: caught off in the opposite. But you know what I 85 00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:42,227 Speaker 3: find piny more and more is that you know, young 86 00:04:42,307 --> 00:04:44,547 Speaker 3: parents coming in, it's okay for old guys like me 87 00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:46,787 Speaker 3: have been in this for a long time because I've 88 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,547 Speaker 3: had to work with many generations of Pearans. But for 89 00:04:50,627 --> 00:04:53,947 Speaker 3: every new parent, they're a new parent, it's their first 90 00:04:53,947 --> 00:04:56,307 Speaker 3: time and they don't know what to expect. And you know, 91 00:04:56,347 --> 00:04:59,267 Speaker 3: it's beautiful to see a lot of sports. A lot 92 00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:02,987 Speaker 3: of organizations are investing more and more time and resources 93 00:05:03,027 --> 00:05:06,947 Speaker 3: into educating parents, and I think their investment come back 94 00:05:06,987 --> 00:05:08,107 Speaker 3: to them many times over. 95 00:05:08,947 --> 00:05:11,507 Speaker 2: So what is the best way then to educate and 96 00:05:11,627 --> 00:05:14,987 Speaker 2: include parents and turn them into this brilliant phrase that 97 00:05:15,027 --> 00:05:18,467 Speaker 2: I read from you, turn them into informed allies. 98 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:22,547 Speaker 3: Well, the first thing is right from the start, Right 99 00:05:22,587 --> 00:05:26,067 Speaker 3: from the start, when a parent walks in with a child, 100 00:05:26,467 --> 00:05:30,107 Speaker 3: be really clear on your expectations as a club or 101 00:05:30,147 --> 00:05:31,787 Speaker 3: as a coach, because you know what I find by 102 00:05:31,987 --> 00:05:35,787 Speaker 3: a lot of clubs and coaches, they almost ignore this issue. 103 00:05:35,787 --> 00:05:37,947 Speaker 3: They go right, all we really care about is getting 104 00:05:37,987 --> 00:05:40,987 Speaker 3: your child in here, getting the football boots on them, 105 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:44,467 Speaker 3: and getting them out on the park. And then we're 106 00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:49,427 Speaker 3: overly reactive when the parent does or says things that 107 00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:52,467 Speaker 3: we don't like. Get on the front foot right from 108 00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:56,067 Speaker 3: the start, have a parent's booklet to say, welcome to 109 00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:59,187 Speaker 3: our club. We're so happy that Susie's come along to 110 00:05:59,347 --> 00:06:03,027 Speaker 3: our netball club. Were really value having her here, but 111 00:06:03,107 --> 00:06:07,227 Speaker 3: we value you as well. Here's our parent's guide Sporting success. 112 00:06:07,707 --> 00:06:10,227 Speaker 3: And then you open the page and it says, welcome, 113 00:06:10,267 --> 00:06:13,667 Speaker 3: we love having you here. Next page says three things 114 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,627 Speaker 3: that every parent needs to do. It'sport One, have a 115 00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,667 Speaker 3: great time to work with the coach. We're all part 116 00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:23,387 Speaker 3: of the same team. And three work with the other parents. 117 00:06:23,427 --> 00:06:26,747 Speaker 3: And former a group of support that stands with the 118 00:06:26,827 --> 00:06:31,627 Speaker 3: kids constantly. Something like that. A workbook, a guidebook, a 119 00:06:31,787 --> 00:06:32,587 Speaker 3: handout you. 120 00:06:32,587 --> 00:06:35,307 Speaker 4: Give the parents. So be clear right from the word go. 121 00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:38,347 Speaker 3: The second thing is very important, pint he I say 122 00:06:38,427 --> 00:06:42,747 Speaker 3: to every club have a parent's support group. Have two 123 00:06:42,787 --> 00:06:45,867 Speaker 3: or three parents whose job it is to go to 124 00:06:45,867 --> 00:06:48,507 Speaker 3: all the newbies and say, hey, it's great that you're here. 125 00:06:49,107 --> 00:06:50,907 Speaker 3: We know that this is the first child you've ever 126 00:06:50,987 --> 00:06:53,587 Speaker 3: had in basketball. Listen, we've been around for a while. 127 00:06:53,907 --> 00:06:56,787 Speaker 3: These are some of the things that we've learned and 128 00:06:56,827 --> 00:06:58,627 Speaker 3: some of the things that will help you enjoy your 129 00:06:58,747 --> 00:07:02,387 Speaker 3: journey as a basketball parent or football parent. Even more, 130 00:07:02,947 --> 00:07:07,067 Speaker 3: that parents support group. Parents supporting other parents is a 131 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,707 Speaker 3: very powerful thing to happen. 132 00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:11,987 Speaker 4: And because they go, well, hang on, someone gets me. 133 00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:14,827 Speaker 4: The coach doesn't really want me around that much. 134 00:07:15,027 --> 00:07:18,627 Speaker 3: But hey, this group of form of parents, they know 135 00:07:18,747 --> 00:07:21,547 Speaker 3: exactly what I'm going through. They understand how I'm feeling, 136 00:07:21,947 --> 00:07:24,587 Speaker 3: and I'll listen to them. That's such an important thing. 137 00:07:24,947 --> 00:07:28,747 Speaker 3: And the third thing is have a system where if 138 00:07:28,747 --> 00:07:31,547 Speaker 3: there's a parent problem that's of merging in your club 139 00:07:31,627 --> 00:07:34,067 Speaker 3: or your program, where you can sit down and have 140 00:07:34,107 --> 00:07:36,187 Speaker 3: a costs, or you can meet with them, or you 141 00:07:36,267 --> 00:07:39,307 Speaker 3: have the club president act as a mediator. I think 142 00:07:39,387 --> 00:07:42,587 Speaker 3: way too many coaches go that parent's a problem. I 143 00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:45,547 Speaker 3: don't want them here, and that's not good for the kid, 144 00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:48,307 Speaker 3: it's not good for the club, it's not good for 145 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:50,707 Speaker 3: anybody just saying no, we don't. 146 00:07:50,507 --> 00:07:51,507 Speaker 4: Want the parents on deck. 147 00:07:51,547 --> 00:07:54,347 Speaker 3: There's a total parent band because I don't like the 148 00:07:54,347 --> 00:07:55,787 Speaker 3: way they did this or said that. 149 00:07:57,067 --> 00:08:00,867 Speaker 2: Are there any circumstances or parts of the sporting journey 150 00:08:00,987 --> 00:08:04,147 Speaker 2: or parts of the sporting week leading into the weekends 151 00:08:04,227 --> 00:08:09,147 Speaker 2: game where parents should be excluded, should be you know, 152 00:08:10,027 --> 00:08:11,227 Speaker 2: shouldn't be included? 153 00:08:11,267 --> 00:08:14,027 Speaker 4: Wayne, Not that I can see, really, Piney. 154 00:08:14,307 --> 00:08:16,987 Speaker 3: I think one of the again, the issue is always 155 00:08:17,027 --> 00:08:21,547 Speaker 3: around clarity, clarity of roles and responsibility. The model that 156 00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,307 Speaker 3: I've believed in for a long long. 157 00:08:23,147 --> 00:08:23,827 Speaker 4: Time is that. 158 00:08:24,507 --> 00:08:28,467 Speaker 3: Imagine that the potential of the child, and that's potential 159 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:31,707 Speaker 3: as a human being for happiness and joy, potential is 160 00:08:31,747 --> 00:08:33,587 Speaker 3: them to be all that they choose to be and 161 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,707 Speaker 3: athletic potential. Imagine that that's the product that we want 162 00:08:37,707 --> 00:08:41,987 Speaker 3: at the end, a happy joy for child who's expressed 163 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,787 Speaker 3: everything they can, who feel safe and that they belong 164 00:08:45,427 --> 00:08:47,787 Speaker 3: and they're being all that they can be in that spot. 165 00:08:47,987 --> 00:08:49,587 Speaker 4: So that's what we want is the output. 166 00:08:50,187 --> 00:08:54,347 Speaker 3: We then form a partnership to create that of the coach, 167 00:08:54,787 --> 00:08:57,547 Speaker 3: the parent, and the athlete and the three of us. 168 00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,187 Speaker 3: We do our jobs like you would in any partnership. 169 00:09:00,227 --> 00:09:04,427 Speaker 3: You know, with your show, you've got your on radio, 170 00:09:04,787 --> 00:09:07,947 Speaker 3: you do the background work, the research, you do all 171 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,907 Speaker 3: that stuff. But you've got somebody who's doing some of 172 00:09:09,907 --> 00:09:11,947 Speaker 3: the technical word for it, and you've got a promotions 173 00:09:11,947 --> 00:09:15,067 Speaker 3: group and everyone does their job to produce a great 174 00:09:15,107 --> 00:09:18,187 Speaker 3: program on the weekends. It's the same with this that 175 00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:24,027 Speaker 3: you know what a coaches do, technical leadership, physical training, tactics, selections, 176 00:09:24,027 --> 00:09:24,627 Speaker 3: all those things. 177 00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:26,067 Speaker 4: What do the kids do? 178 00:09:26,307 --> 00:09:29,067 Speaker 3: We want them to come and have fun, learn, enjoy 179 00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:31,387 Speaker 3: the experience and come back. What do we want parents 180 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:33,427 Speaker 3: to do? We don't want them to do those other 181 00:09:33,467 --> 00:09:38,467 Speaker 3: two things. We want them to unconditional love, value, and support. 182 00:09:38,547 --> 00:09:41,107 Speaker 3: We want them to bring the kids on time. We 183 00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:44,187 Speaker 3: want them to love them irrespective of success or failure. 184 00:09:44,187 --> 00:09:47,867 Speaker 3: Where you know, I think again this clarity of saying 185 00:09:47,867 --> 00:09:49,907 Speaker 3: to a parent, this is what we need you to do, 186 00:09:49,987 --> 00:09:52,667 Speaker 3: and if you do these things, we're confident that your 187 00:09:52,747 --> 00:09:55,827 Speaker 3: child will have a wonderful journey through sport and they'll 188 00:09:55,867 --> 00:10:01,267 Speaker 3: realize their potential because of your contribution. And that clarity 189 00:10:01,307 --> 00:10:04,187 Speaker 3: of roles and responsibilities is so important. 190 00:10:04,547 --> 00:10:06,907 Speaker 2: And that probably answers another question, and I've got here, 191 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,907 Speaker 2: and that's around how kids get into particular sports, because 192 00:10:09,947 --> 00:10:12,467 Speaker 2: often the whole play sports that their parents have played, 193 00:10:12,627 --> 00:10:15,667 Speaker 2: you know, and often to a decent level. You know, 194 00:10:15,707 --> 00:10:18,747 Speaker 2: if an adult is a decent basketballer, they might want 195 00:10:18,787 --> 00:10:21,627 Speaker 2: to introduce their son or daughter to basketball because they 196 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:24,667 Speaker 2: know the joy and the fulfillment they got out of it. 197 00:10:24,747 --> 00:10:27,307 Speaker 2: So what's the best way of dealing with a parent 198 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,987 Speaker 2: or actually, flipp it, what's the best way to be 199 00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:32,147 Speaker 2: a parent who's played a sport to make sure that 200 00:10:32,187 --> 00:10:35,667 Speaker 2: your own child gets the benefit of coaching without you 201 00:10:36,147 --> 00:10:37,107 Speaker 2: overstepping If. 202 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:40,787 Speaker 3: You get what I'm asking, oh, I do how tempting 203 00:10:40,987 --> 00:10:44,627 Speaker 3: has it been for everybody involved in sport, everybody who's 204 00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:47,827 Speaker 3: played sport, because you know, you've got that connection with 205 00:10:47,907 --> 00:10:51,387 Speaker 3: the sport and you know what a wonderful sport yours 206 00:10:51,427 --> 00:10:54,587 Speaker 3: could be, yours is, and you want nothing more than 207 00:10:54,627 --> 00:10:57,747 Speaker 3: to share that with your child. So your child's playing soccer, 208 00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:02,187 Speaker 3: your child's playing football, and you can't avoid the temptation. 209 00:11:02,387 --> 00:11:05,747 Speaker 3: You just can't resist saying, well, when I used to play, 210 00:11:06,147 --> 00:11:08,227 Speaker 3: you know what we used to do. And I don't 211 00:11:08,227 --> 00:11:11,467 Speaker 3: know how many pets you know. Again, there's nothing. 212 00:11:11,147 --> 00:11:11,747 Speaker 4: Wrong with that. 213 00:11:11,787 --> 00:11:15,667 Speaker 3: Their parents are just sharing the joy and the love 214 00:11:15,707 --> 00:11:19,587 Speaker 3: they feel for the sport that's most important to do. However, 215 00:11:19,907 --> 00:11:22,907 Speaker 3: I say to parents, you've got to draw a line. 216 00:11:22,987 --> 00:11:25,827 Speaker 3: You've got to draw a line, which is the enthusiic 217 00:11:25,907 --> 00:11:28,947 Speaker 3: and passionate sharing of the way you feel about your sport, 218 00:11:29,027 --> 00:11:32,227 Speaker 3: with your job, but allowing them to have their own 219 00:11:32,307 --> 00:11:36,267 Speaker 3: experience with the sport. And believe me, if kids want 220 00:11:36,307 --> 00:11:39,787 Speaker 3: your opinion and if they want your input, they'll ask 221 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:43,107 Speaker 3: for it. And one of the big dangers Piney, I 222 00:11:43,107 --> 00:11:46,627 Speaker 3: think younger kids, it's not such a big girl. If 223 00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:48,867 Speaker 3: you love bike riding and you like to go out 224 00:11:48,907 --> 00:11:50,747 Speaker 3: and bike riding and you think it's the greatest thing. 225 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:51,107 Speaker 4: Of all time. 226 00:11:51,467 --> 00:11:54,467 Speaker 3: The kids will sense you all passion and your enthusiasm 227 00:11:54,707 --> 00:11:55,627 Speaker 3: that'll rub off on them. 228 00:11:55,627 --> 00:11:56,427 Speaker 4: They'll probably do it. 229 00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:59,267 Speaker 3: Where you've got to be really careful with this is 230 00:11:59,347 --> 00:12:01,707 Speaker 3: mid teens, because. 231 00:12:01,547 --> 00:12:03,907 Speaker 4: All of us are wired to rebel. 232 00:12:04,747 --> 00:12:07,187 Speaker 3: And the more that mum and dad tell me about 233 00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:09,467 Speaker 3: how good their sport is, and the more Mum and 234 00:12:09,507 --> 00:12:11,827 Speaker 3: Dad try to coach me to get better at their sport, 235 00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:14,067 Speaker 3: the least likely it is that I'm going to do 236 00:12:14,107 --> 00:12:16,907 Speaker 3: it because I want to do the exact opposite of 237 00:12:16,947 --> 00:12:18,987 Speaker 3: what they're telling me to do. They want to stop 238 00:12:19,027 --> 00:12:21,987 Speaker 3: me from going out and experiencing life. They're the ones 239 00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:24,507 Speaker 3: telling me to go to bed on time. Anything they 240 00:12:24,547 --> 00:12:26,987 Speaker 3: tell me is probably wrong. So they're going to try 241 00:12:27,027 --> 00:12:29,147 Speaker 3: and coach me how to be better at swimming. I 242 00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:30,907 Speaker 3: ain't going to listen to them, and in fact, I 243 00:12:30,987 --> 00:12:33,547 Speaker 3: might leave the sport to save them being in my 244 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:37,467 Speaker 3: face constantly. If you've got parents, if you've got kids 245 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:41,267 Speaker 3: who are in their teens, be very very careful about 246 00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:45,427 Speaker 3: giving them too much information, too much education, and too 247 00:12:45,587 --> 00:12:48,947 Speaker 3: much of what you think is important in their teens, 248 00:12:49,027 --> 00:12:51,347 Speaker 3: because it's likely I've pushed back the other way. 249 00:12:51,987 --> 00:12:55,667 Speaker 2: Great advice and wisdom, as always from you, weigh lots 250 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,907 Speaker 2: to take away. Just before you go, something I want 251 00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:59,667 Speaker 2: to talk about with you in a future segment is 252 00:13:00,307 --> 00:13:02,747 Speaker 2: the subject of your new book, which is called The 253 00:13:02,867 --> 00:13:06,987 Speaker 2: Talent Myth Why talent Isn't Worth I'll say, but it's 254 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:10,387 Speaker 2: a slightly different version of that available now that book. 255 00:13:10,507 --> 00:13:11,907 Speaker 2: I do want to talk about it, as I say, 256 00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:15,227 Speaker 2: with you in a future segment. But this is your 257 00:13:15,307 --> 00:13:17,307 Speaker 2: latest latest piece of literature. 258 00:13:18,787 --> 00:13:19,427 Speaker 4: Yes it does. 259 00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:22,467 Speaker 3: And it came from a young fellow that I was 260 00:13:22,507 --> 00:13:25,907 Speaker 3: talking to about a year ago. He had been dropped 261 00:13:25,907 --> 00:13:30,307 Speaker 3: from the school team and the school teacher who dropped 262 00:13:30,347 --> 00:13:33,667 Speaker 3: him said that you're being dropped because you're just not 263 00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:37,227 Speaker 3: talented enough to make the team. And I thought about 264 00:13:37,227 --> 00:13:40,707 Speaker 3: it deeply, Piney, I thought, how many other kids have 265 00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:43,907 Speaker 3: been told you're not good enough or you're not talented 266 00:13:43,987 --> 00:13:45,627 Speaker 3: enough for you're never. 267 00:13:45,427 --> 00:13:46,067 Speaker 4: Going to make it? 268 00:13:46,907 --> 00:13:49,827 Speaker 3: Then you, I mean, you meet some pretty impressive New 269 00:13:49,947 --> 00:13:50,867 Speaker 3: Zealand athletes. 270 00:13:51,027 --> 00:13:52,827 Speaker 4: You know, all blacks and ferns, and. 271 00:13:53,187 --> 00:13:57,307 Speaker 3: You know a lot of them you wouldn't technically classify 272 00:13:57,387 --> 00:14:01,547 Speaker 3: as super talented, but they just love playing the game, 273 00:14:01,587 --> 00:14:04,507 Speaker 3: and they're good people, and they try hard and they 274 00:14:04,507 --> 00:14:07,787 Speaker 3: give everything to it. And I thought, hang on a minute, 275 00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:11,787 Speaker 3: this talent thing. We've got this completely wrong. We're saying 276 00:14:11,787 --> 00:14:15,467 Speaker 3: the kids, if you're not Roger Frederer, well you shouldn't 277 00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:18,547 Speaker 3: be playing tennis. It's like saying, you know, if you 278 00:14:18,587 --> 00:14:21,067 Speaker 3: can't play like Mozart, well, don't sit behind a piano. 279 00:14:21,187 --> 00:14:23,587 Speaker 3: If you're if you're not Pericas, you're never going to 280 00:14:23,627 --> 00:14:26,107 Speaker 3: be as good as Perkasso, don't pick up a paintbrush. 281 00:14:26,347 --> 00:14:27,467 Speaker 4: It's ludicrous. 282 00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:29,707 Speaker 3: So I thought, I'm going to sit down and write 283 00:14:29,707 --> 00:14:33,507 Speaker 3: a book that says more than anything, to give hope 284 00:14:33,547 --> 00:14:36,867 Speaker 3: to everyone who's ever been told you're not good enough, 285 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:38,147 Speaker 3: you're not talented enough, you. 286 00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:39,147 Speaker 4: Don't have what it takes. 287 00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,507 Speaker 3: And lord, I really hope it's going to make an 288 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,267 Speaker 3: impact on kids and parents and coaches and teachers, and 289 00:14:45,347 --> 00:14:47,747 Speaker 3: above all, it'll get us thinking that talent is so 290 00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:50,747 Speaker 3: much more than being big and strong and fast. 291 00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:51,467 Speaker 4: Love it. 292 00:14:51,547 --> 00:14:53,867 Speaker 2: Look forward to chatting about that in a future segment, 293 00:14:53,867 --> 00:14:58,147 Speaker 2: but it's available on Amazon right now. As always, appreciate 294 00:14:58,187 --> 00:15:00,547 Speaker 2: your time, you're wisdom, your expertise. Wayne we'll catch up 295 00:15:00,587 --> 00:15:01,067 Speaker 2: again soon. 296 00:15:01,387 --> 00:15:03,347 Speaker 4: Always a pleasure, my friend, Always a pleasure. 297 00:15:03,547 --> 00:15:06,067 Speaker 2: It's always a pleasure talking to you. Wayne Wayne Goldsmith 298 00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:08,347 Speaker 2: there you can. Yeah, look for his new book on 299 00:15:08,387 --> 00:15:11,027 Speaker 2: Amazon just Wayne Goldsmith and it'll turn up. 300 00:15:11,947 --> 00:15:15,107 Speaker 1: For more from Weekend Sport with Jason Fine, Listen live 301 00:15:15,227 --> 00:15:18,507 Speaker 1: to news talks at B weekends from midday, or follow 302 00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:20,107 Speaker 1: the podcast on iHeartRadio