Speaker 1: Live for the Export Beer Gardens Studio which today is
Speaker 1: Polside at the Palm Pacific Resort and Funga Mattah and
Speaker 1: brought to you as always by Export Ultra, the bear
Speaker 1: for here. This is the Agenda Podcast, fourth Thursday, the
Speaker 1: twenty fourth of October, The.
Speaker 2: Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap
Speaker 2: brought to you my nextport Ultra.
Speaker 1: And we are coming to Poulside Lane at the pal
Speaker 1: Pacific Resort.
Speaker 3: Because we're out on the road.
Speaker 1: dB have charged us with scouting out some of the
Speaker 1: best beer gardens in the country.
Speaker 3: Tough job, tough job, mate.
Speaker 1: As we sit here baskting and the sun, it is
Speaker 1: a beautiful day. We are sitting right next to the pool.
Speaker 1: We're watching a what is.
Speaker 4: That a dolphin? It's a dolphin. It's a dolphin at
Speaker 4: the dolphin at the pork cleaner. It's quite mesmerizing that
Speaker 4: pork cleaner.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 1: It just goes back and forth by itself. I could
Speaker 1: watch it all day. Tennis court, lovely pool here, two
Speaker 1: spar pools which we made use of last night. But
Speaker 1: the reason we hear is as I said before, dB
Speaker 1: have charged us with going around the country and finding
Speaker 1: the best beer gardens.
Speaker 3: Yep. We thought first Protocol Coromandel, yep.
Speaker 4: We hit fer yeah, and then Toto and ended up
Speaker 4: in fung A Matar. I think we're headed to toad
Speaker 4: on her today, but a ragtown tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Yep. She's a tough life, yeah she is.
Speaker 1: So if you know of any place with a decent
Speaker 1: beer garden for us a message, send us through yours please.
Speaker 1: The first place we went to was in Younger, Yes,
Speaker 1: drove over there and checked into the Was it the
Speaker 1: Mercury Bay Fishing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Micury Bay Game Fishing Club Club? Which have you't
Speaker 3: been to Younger before?
Speaker 1: Is there's a little what do you call that, a
Speaker 1: jetty dorse wolf where they weigh the big bloody marlins
Speaker 1: when they come in. I've seen one on there before.
Speaker 1: It's very very bloody, impressive, terrifying.
Speaker 4: Also the location where they once a year they released
Speaker 4: two thousand milps.
Speaker 3: That's right. We were.
Speaker 1: We were told about a fishing competition that they have
Speaker 1: there for the I think it's called Ladies of the
Speaker 1: Bays something like that, and it's just a fishing competition
Speaker 1: with Yeah, as you put it, and as it was
Speaker 1: put to us, two thousand women who come and take
Speaker 1: part in a fishing comp.
Speaker 3: The boat has to be all women.
Speaker 1: You're allowed one man if you want to make him
Speaker 1: drive the boat for you, and you're allowed another man
Speaker 1: if you'd like to make him bait your rods for you.
Speaker 1: He is known as the Master baita. And then they
Speaker 1: have a good old fashion knees up. Afterwards, as you
Speaker 1: can imagine, they're going to be ten shed called the
Speaker 1: Blue Lagoon. And afterwards they unleash tooth. This word verbatim,
Speaker 1: this is how it's described to us. They unleashed two
Speaker 1: thousand MILFs, which is not a big place. It's not
Speaker 1: a lot of places for two thousand milks to go.
Speaker 1: But we have to come back when they've got the
Speaker 1: year when they release them.
Speaker 4: When they're at the releasing of the MILFs, it's like
Speaker 4: it's going to be like they should make it into
Speaker 4: like the running of the Balls, where people come from
Speaker 4: around the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I imagine it like bore it the running of
Speaker 1: the Jurm. They just turned two thousand milps loose. You
Speaker 1: made a big break last night as well. This could
Speaker 1: be this could be huge for your career. We also
Speaker 1: stopped in at the title of Paranoy Fishing Club there. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: we were invited down by the captain Pete It every
Speaker 1: Wednesday night he gets on the barbecue there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like what an initiative every Wednesday meat raffles, five
Speaker 4: dollar beers, five dollar wines and a free barbecue.
Speaker 3: How much was the meat raffle two dollars a ticket? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I bought ten tickets.
Speaker 1: You did, didn't win anything good too, because we have
Speaker 1: You've got a history of winning meat raffles and towns
Speaker 1: that you don't live in. Yes, when you don't have
Speaker 1: any means of cooking any of the meat, storing it
Speaker 1: was storing it. And we went down for the Black
Speaker 1: Class and Titong at the start of the year and
Speaker 1: you won the meat raffle at the Mount Mount Club
Speaker 1: Mount Club there, big bloody meat rafel too.
Speaker 3: We didn't know what to do with.
Speaker 1: It, so we took it to one of the taco
Speaker 1: trucks at the Black Class. They cooked it all up
Speaker 1: for us and we're eating steak throughout the commentry. It
Speaker 1: was delightful, and I was like, but I felt guilty
Speaker 1: because you'd taken that meat out of the local economy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I thought you were about to do it to
Speaker 1: Paraui as well. But yeah, beautiful there the Captain Peter
Speaker 1: gets on the barbecue muscle fritters.
Speaker 3: But a venison someone had brought it. Yeah, it was good.
Speaker 3: I mean it was a good time. It was a
Speaker 3: good time. It's feeling new.
Speaker 4: Club is only four years old. Yeah, moved over from
Speaker 4: Paranoi in a base.
Speaker 3: It over and t.
Speaker 4: And I've got the kind of waterways they've put this
Speaker 4: kind of marina, put into the into the harbor there.
Speaker 3: It was good. And you know, I mean live on
Speaker 3: Facebook with Peter. This could be huge. Go and look
Speaker 3: it up.
Speaker 1: But the I've actually got it here. You don't want
Speaker 1: to see it, but I want to if you're at home,
Speaker 1: want to set it. Just look up the title of
Speaker 1: Paris Sports Fishing Club. You could see the captain Peter
Speaker 1: and Lane. The audio is pretty bad, so I won't
Speaker 1: play it for you. But he goes live on his
Speaker 1: Facebook there every Wednesday.
Speaker 3: Yep. Yeah, and you were lucky enough this be a
Speaker 3: big break. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 4: Actually, I mean there was a lot of people with
Speaker 4: a lot of influence at that Toto Parwanui Fishing Club,
Speaker 4: some movers and Shakers. I met an eighty year old volunteer.
Speaker 4: He got Volunteer of the Year the year before. He
Speaker 4: goes to the club every day and I said, including
Speaker 4: Christmas Day and they said, yeah, they opened especially for me.
Speaker 3: They come and we offered him a beer.
Speaker 4: He said, I don't drink, and I saw him walk
Speaker 4: off with two massive rum and cokes. I see the
Speaker 4: guy selling the Yeah, the salty old sea dog, Yeah,
Speaker 4: real salty.
Speaker 3: He I was walking out just to go and.
Speaker 1: Film this thing out the front of the place, and
Speaker 1: he bloody chased me down the stairs. Hang, I'm mate,
Speaker 1: Captain Pete's going live on his Facebook. You don't want
Speaker 1: to stick around for that. I'll Loane will cover that.
Speaker 1: He's still out there, but yeah, what a night and beautiful,
Speaker 1: beautiful spot, beautiful view. And most of the dudes there,
Speaker 1: they'll just drive their boat there, park up, you know,
Speaker 1: get on the barbecue whatever, the actual barbecue, and then
Speaker 1: and then just cruise their boats.
Speaker 4: Well, Captain Pete's got a sea legs, so he just
Speaker 4: drives up the ramp at Paranelli and drives home.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't have driven on a road in years, I reckon,
Speaker 3: and he wouldn't. I don't think he should.
Speaker 1: But yeah, what a hell of a night there and
Speaker 1: five dollar bloody six dollars out of.
Speaker 4: Control over over the hill to funk my tar. I
Speaker 4: went to the to the Smoky Palette. Yes, last night,
Speaker 4: took part in the quiz.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well and actually you were hosting the quiz on board.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just it's an obsession of my I just
Speaker 4: grabbed the microphone started asking questions Lovely Ella who runs
Speaker 4: the quiz every Wednesday. And I was saying to her,
Speaker 4: they did they pay you? Will they pay you in
Speaker 4: a bar tab?
Speaker 3: And they said?
Speaker 4: She said, oh, I used to be a bar tab
Speaker 4: but I used to turn up to work so hungover.
Speaker 4: And the next day that my work said, can you
Speaker 4: not kid bab? So she gets get scarsh.
Speaker 1: Yeah good, I can see that if if last night
Speaker 1: was anything to go by, I'm a little bit dusty else.
Speaker 1: So then you were asking a few questions, I went
Speaker 1: to go and check that the pokes were honest.
Speaker 3: They're working. They're working. Oh god, they're working.
Speaker 1: So if anyone's coming through fung of Matar in the
Speaker 1: next two days, I left twenty bucks in one of
Speaker 1: those poking machines for it.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, if you want to see pretty much whatch
Speaker 4: sums up our trap as a video on Instagram on
Speaker 4: the Instagram story of me hosting the quiz, panning around
Speaker 4: to a little slither, you can get a little slither
Speaker 4: look into the poky's room and there you are just
Speaker 4: bothering the nile, oh, slapping away, slapping away.
Speaker 1: It was annoying too, because I was going max bits two,
Speaker 1: two dollars fifty one. Nothing got done to my last
Speaker 1: ten cents. Then I hit the feature a million spins
Speaker 1: and I won four dollars forty off ten cents. What
Speaker 1: would that have been if I'd been bidding two dollars
Speaker 1: fifty I've been a couple of Hondy It would have
Speaker 1: been a couple of Hondy mates seconding stuff. So you
Speaker 1: know how long short of that is? This twenty dollars
Speaker 1: or at least one of those pokies, I know that
Speaker 1: for sure. And then we stayed there and pounded craft
Speaker 1: is into the core of the earth for Yes, a
Speaker 1: good couple of hours. Came back to the par Pacific Resort,
Speaker 1: which handily is right next door to the pub, at
Speaker 1: which point we found a spar poole. Yes, we found
Speaker 1: one that was working, didn't we that was that was warm,
Speaker 1: one that had been turned off. And then we went
Speaker 1: around and yeah, we found one that was working. And
Speaker 1: upon recount this morning, between myself, yourself and Joe Joy,
Speaker 1: we got through another fifteen crafties.
Speaker 3: So no wonder.
Speaker 4: I woke up in my room and it was like
Speaker 4: a gas chamber. It was, oh my god, your bedroom.
Speaker 4: It was like I think it had like negative pressure
Speaker 4: because when Joe opened opened the door, it was like
Speaker 4: a gust, a foul wind was released.
Speaker 3: It was like an air lock. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was like wrapping open a tube of tennis balls.
Speaker 1: But the smell, the smell was a rindous. That's when
Speaker 1: we decided to have the recount and found the fifteen crafty.
Speaker 1: So I think when d you send us on the
Speaker 1: road to have a bit of a scout for summer
Speaker 1: for them, I don't know if this is what they
Speaker 1: expected us to do.
Speaker 4: I think it's exactly what they expected to be honest,
Speaker 4: I was gonna say if they didn't expect us to
Speaker 4: do this, then anyway, that kidding themselves.
Speaker 3: We carry on our journey today, don't we hit the
Speaker 3: tode on? It hit the tode Ono.
Speaker 1: We get a couple of spots to check out there,
Speaker 1: and then like sit over to Hamilton, your old stomping ground, yep, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then we are off to.
Speaker 3: Raglan and then I don't know, we'd probably better go
Speaker 3: home at some point.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So yeah, so that's what that's what's going on
Speaker 1: with us today. That's why we won't have any yours
Speaker 1: please as well. We don't have the facilities for that
Speaker 1: kind of thing. Jeez, that sun is really beating now.
Speaker 1: It's hot, man, so hot. Not to rub it into
Speaker 1: those of you listening at home were stuck in traffic,
Speaker 1: in rain or whatever it is that you're doing. And
Speaker 1: I was just saying before laying when we put these
Speaker 1: head sets on, you'll notice the sound is a bit
Speaker 1: different because we've got the head sets on that we
Speaker 1: use when we're on the road. Amount of Hungover podcasts
Speaker 1: we've done these head sets. I reckon you could you
Speaker 1: could like the microphone part of it would be so flammable.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I can smell Germany on it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 4: the smell Germany came with us to Germany. Oh my god,
Speaker 4: that son is beating down now. Let's take my jersey
Speaker 4: let's take a quick break so Lane could take his
Speaker 4: jersey off.
Speaker 3: Quicked up in the poll and we'll come back. Talk
Speaker 3: about a sport.
Speaker 1: So the biggest sporting news yesterday, Lane, which actually you
Speaker 1: brought to my attention, is the Chad Bows Chadwick Boseman,
Speaker 1: the Black Panther. He has scored himself the fastest double
Speaker 1: century in a List A game, which is what like
Speaker 1: first close pass cricket, Yeah, cricket on Wednesday for Canterbury
Speaker 1: against ow Targo on the Ford Trophy. That's the fifty
Speaker 1: over because I always get these ones confused, but that's
Speaker 1: the fifty over one day format. He brought up the
Speaker 1: milestone in one hundred and three balls before eventually falling
Speaker 1: for two or five off one ten deliveries. The record
Speaker 1: was previously held by Travis Head and India's In Juggerson
Speaker 1: who don't recall who both took one hundred and fourteen
Speaker 1: deliveries each.
Speaker 4: So he smash smashed it, absolutely smashed it. That's two
Speaker 4: runs a ball. Yeah, So he is scoring every ball.
Speaker 4: He's been bold, he's scored runs off.
Speaker 1: So if he doesn't score for three balls, he's about
Speaker 1: to clear the fence. Yeah, basically and unfortunately no one
Speaker 1: dare to see it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, was it even?
Speaker 4: It wasn't It was filmed but with one of those
Speaker 4: one cameras at one end situation. I don't think it
Speaker 4: was actually properly covered. But chika bow wow yet on them.
Speaker 4: That's a great record to have. Yeah, great record when
Speaker 4: you when anything the fastest or the most of the
Speaker 4: most sixers, the fastest century, the fastest double century as
Speaker 4: a pretty ballsy, ballsy record to hold.
Speaker 1: I think I was at Jade Stadium when Nathan Astall
Speaker 1: hit that two hundred.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yeah, I think it was Jade Stadium, Lancaster
Speaker 3: Park at that point.
Speaker 1: Nothing more exciting than seeing and batsman get him to
Speaker 1: that motor yeap, just clearing the absolutely blasting. It's thirty
Speaker 1: two chair bows. I know he's got a couple of
Speaker 1: caps with the black Cats, but did he too? I
Speaker 1: don't think he was that old.
Speaker 3: I know he was. That's interesting. Yeah, sneaks up on you.
Speaker 1: The It's just so hard to break into the blacket,
Speaker 1: isn't it like doads all toil always till they're thirty, Yeah,
Speaker 1: before they ever get a sniff and then Yeah.
Speaker 4: Speaking of which, test match starts tonight. Oh yes, second
Speaker 4: Test match from poone and once again Joe Jury looking
Speaker 4: to put his family's life in danger by putting a
Speaker 4: post up on on Instagram and Facebook of a dust
Speaker 4: bowl and a big puff of dust coming up. And
Speaker 4: I think the comment was India wouldn't produce a dust
Speaker 4: ball for this second Test, would they? And holely shit,
Speaker 4: it's like chumming the waters full filled with sharks, small
Speaker 4: bait fish.
Speaker 3: They come from everywhere.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Jesus they pilon. It's great to watch a
Speaker 1: lot of people like to get into the comments just
Speaker 1: to watch it.
Speaker 3: What's it unfold? They are?
Speaker 1: That was the first thing. Everybody that's asked me or
Speaker 1: talk to me about that game? How about that one?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, I just can't get that sinking
Speaker 1: feeling out of my Oh yeah, this next one.
Speaker 3: They're not going to let it happen to us.
Speaker 4: But you know what, Like remember that Australian series last
Speaker 4: year and they produce those horrendous wickets one in India
Speaker 4: and everyone it was obvious what they were trying to do,
Speaker 4: but at backfired in Australia won by an innings.
Speaker 3: I remember they this lasted something.
Speaker 4: Outrageous, like two and a half days the patch was
Speaker 4: absolute abomination.
Speaker 3: And a man Gary is just tearing through them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so backfired on the Indians that one. So there
Speaker 4: is a danger, but saying that they've got far better
Speaker 4: spinners than us. So if they do produce a dust bowl,
Speaker 4: then you've got the lights of Glen Phillips and Patel.
Speaker 4: A're going to have to play out of their skin. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but it happens, though, it happens. And saying that watching
Speaker 4: Revenger play their spinners and young and attacking them getting
Speaker 4: the slog sweep going the sweep, I was like, oh yeah,
Speaker 4: it's going to knock them window of their sales. But
Speaker 4: saying that you could see ravish one was like, oh
Speaker 4: fact this, I'm going to play the second test because
Speaker 4: this picture has given me nothing. Yeah, so that's gonna
Speaker 4: be interesting. So that's it starts tonight. Is it five
Speaker 4: o'clock again? I'm not sure. It's five o'clock and poone
Speaker 4: great town, poone great city.
Speaker 1: Great time for a game to kick off five o'clock
Speaker 1: Tuesday night. Yeah, jumping the spar pool fifteen CRAFTI is
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: It's Kay Williamson's out again. Which disappointing.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it is disappointing, but I don't feel as
Speaker 1: bad now, like with the way that Revender is betting Conway.
Speaker 1: You know, I feel a bit more, I don't know,
Speaker 1: buoyed by that than I have in years past.
Speaker 4: I think Kam Willimson's even there.
Speaker 1: It used to be if Cain Williamson's out, yeah fucked, Yeah,
Speaker 1: put a fork in us. That's true, actually, but I
Speaker 1: don't feel that way now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they'll give.
Speaker 4: Them the That first win is going to give them
Speaker 4: some massive BBC and so yeah, I'm interested how that
Speaker 4: goes to be interesting to see if and you win
Speaker 4: the toss and bat first arrogantly.
Speaker 1: Great piece of cricketing analysis yesterday from the two thousand Milksky.
Speaker 1: He said, John sorry, Johnny says his name. He's not
Speaker 1: the two thousand Milksker of a bnch of year ears.
Speaker 1: He was saying, Well, they've sort of done themselves in
Speaker 1: a little bit because Boomer is their best bowler, so
Speaker 1: they can't really lean into the dust bowl too much
Speaker 1: because it doesn't advantage their best bowler. And then if
Speaker 1: they do make a seema, then that plays into our
Speaker 1: hands a bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know that.
Speaker 4: I fully respect Johnny's opinion, but I think Eshwyn is
Speaker 4: their best bowler rather than bom Bomber is tricky, particularly
Speaker 4: on a green seema. But I think they would have
Speaker 4: definitely got more spinning an arsenal spinners rather than pace bowlers.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's that's there, that's their sweet spot
Speaker 4: rather than I.
Speaker 3: I don't think they've ever produced a green seama in India. No,
Speaker 3: they don't think they can.
Speaker 1: Rav Eshwin looks like like a manager of a company
Speaker 1: who also plays cricket on the weekends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it just looks like one of the higher ups.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: He's a terrible fielder and I love watching when the
Speaker 4: ball comes to him and he swims after it. Very similar,
Speaker 4: very similar kind of their Sody dan vatory look. It's
Speaker 4: a very ungainly kind of lope and he always tries
Speaker 4: to hide himself down at fine leg Ravi Eshwin.
Speaker 3: It does the monster mash.
Speaker 4: But I wonder if they we wouldn't talk about it much.
Speaker 4: But the Rishian pant injury bullshit. When he they brought
Speaker 4: on their reserve fielder and he happened to be a
Speaker 4: very athletic Wiki keeper and Rishanne part not the fittest
Speaker 4: guy around.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say it's mobile. Look a city's injured.
Speaker 4: And it didn't didn't keep and they brought on a
Speaker 4: keeper who was far better than him, and then he
Speaker 4: it was.
Speaker 3: It was all weird.
Speaker 4: It was a little bit strange, and I think it
Speaker 4: all got washed up on the fact that we won
Speaker 4: and no one really talked about it. But the rules
Speaker 4: around that I find a bit strange because betting they've
Speaker 4: gotten rid of the runner.
Speaker 3: So they got rid of the runner.
Speaker 4: That felt was the likes of inso arm who would
Speaker 4: go out and get a runner and then just smash
Speaker 4: it and not have to run.
Speaker 3: You're injured.
Speaker 4: You either stand at one end and smack the ball
Speaker 4: all retire. So and so it should be. And I
Speaker 4: almost thought there was some rule around you can't specialist.
Speaker 4: You can't have a specialist keeper, twelfth man or keeper
Speaker 4: that comes out And that might just be me making
Speaker 4: it up. DA jury's pacing.
Speaker 3: Is good.
Speaker 1: It seems nervous, look like we're about to get kicked off.
Speaker 1: The NBA started yesterday, which is a huge, huge day
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 4: I love the NBA. Make sure we're in two pieces
Speaker 4: of NBA merch, Right, you just covered and rich and
Speaker 4: you've got your basketballans. I immediately placed the same game.
Speaker 4: Maltis immediately lost.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's it for me. That's it. That's it
Speaker 3: for me on NBA. I'm out. I can't win. I've
Speaker 3: never won on NBA. It's an NBA punt.
Speaker 1: Never, it's a focal mistress the the NBA punts because
Speaker 1: I love putting the I love putting like these eight
Speaker 1: league multis to get there. So I look at a
Speaker 1: game and I go through and I'll be like, well,
Speaker 1: Anthony Davis is definitely going to get more than ten rebounds.
Speaker 1: Lebron's going to score this many points, this guy's going
Speaker 1: to hit one three, this guy's going to get a steal.
Speaker 1: And then I have to sit there with my basically
Speaker 1: my app opened, but oh yeah, he's got that. That
Speaker 1: that just to keep track of it. I find it fun.
Speaker 1: But I don't hurt a lot of them.
Speaker 4: I also just for the hell of it, because we're
Speaker 4: on the road with Joe Jurry, he's a massive ice
Speaker 4: hockey nude. Just for the fun of it, I put
Speaker 4: a massive multi on the ice hockey as well, and
Speaker 4: again never won on ice hockey, followed one of his,
Speaker 4: followed one of his. I missed by one. It was
Speaker 4: a seven league multi, I missed by one.
Speaker 1: I was saying yesterday that the worst thing that never
Speaker 1: happened to me was sitting in Joe Jurry's garage one
Speaker 1: day and watching ice hockey and gambling and won hundreds
Speaker 1: of dollars off it. And I've been chasing that dragon
Speaker 1: ever since, every time he sends a multi throw or follow.
Speaker 4: It so much so, he's so deep into his research
Speaker 4: he made you stay up till one in the morning
Speaker 4: watching ice hockey documentary.
Speaker 3: Yeah, fell asleep on the couch last night.
Speaker 1: I'll never find out if Coono McDavid gets to lift
Speaker 1: the bloody Stanley Cutanley Cup. So yeah, anyway, NBA kicked
Speaker 1: off yesterday, very exciting stuff. I was scrolling the newspapers
Speaker 1: this morning and I came across something that I felt
Speaker 1: like we had to address this morning on the podcast,
Speaker 1: and the headline readsky Flesh eating infection results in scrotum removal.
Speaker 3: That's a great headline as a flesh.
Speaker 1: Eating disease attract Brendan Murray's scrotum. He thought he was
Speaker 1: going to die Murray forty five, contracted Fournier's gangreen, a
Speaker 1: rare but deadly infection of the genitals and peruhium over
Speaker 1: just over a month ago. The Southland Times reports the
Speaker 1: bit of chafing between his legs or an ingrown here.
Speaker 1: But by the next day he was in severe pain
Speaker 1: and checked himself into Gore Hospital next more than he.
Speaker 3: Was transferred by ambulance. Don't worry, suvice the hospital. It's
Speaker 3: got a happy ending.
Speaker 1: And now he's spent more than thirty days in hospital.
Speaker 1: Fuck it hell, underwent nine operations in nineteen days, including
Speaker 1: the removal of his scrotum.
Speaker 3: There's a simple message for men, go and get a
Speaker 3: check us. Blogs are our worst enemies.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: We always brush it off and try to tough it out.
Speaker 1: But just go and get it done. Don't think you're
Speaker 1: a worse by going and getting yourself sorted.
Speaker 4: So okay, what that timeline he gave in seems a
Speaker 4: bit optimistic because he said go get it checked out,
Speaker 4: blah blah blah. But by the sounds of his timeline,
Speaker 4: it was twenty four hours.
Speaker 3: That's right, So I think he actually hit it for
Speaker 3: a while. He had it for a while.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm suspicious song. I mean, this is
Speaker 1: one of those headlines that just I just about fell
Speaker 1: off the couch. And the first thing I was wondering
Speaker 1: was because the headline and then it was just a
Speaker 1: photo of his face that they'd taken for the It
Speaker 1: seems like a nice guy, but I thought I probably
Speaker 1: wouldn't put my face in that.
Speaker 4: So okay, just to go back to it as well,
Speaker 4: he seems like a very nice guy.
Speaker 1: The earth well, the reason he's put his face onto it,
Speaker 1: and he's come up with the story because he wants
Speaker 1: people to check.
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, his scroton was removed.
Speaker 3: Scroton was removed? Okay, what has he got there?
Speaker 4: Instead? Like a like, what's he got a prosthetics scrotum?
Speaker 4: What's what's housing his balls?
Speaker 3: Would you need? What's I presumed that the balls are
Speaker 3: gone too, wouldn't wouldn't you? You'd take your.
Speaker 4: Balls off if you're taking because your scrotum is that
Speaker 4: just the house in which the balls are living, that's
Speaker 4: your scrot Do you tuck them up or do they
Speaker 4: just hanging free?
Speaker 3: Does he h is he literally free balling?
Speaker 1: Doesn't say it just says that his scroton, But it
Speaker 1: doesn't make specific reference to.
Speaker 4: The because you'd say the scrotum and testicles were removed.
Speaker 4: Because that's right, that's the ball bag got infected. So
Speaker 4: what's how using the balls?
Speaker 1: I just assumed they would have taken the balls out. No,
Speaker 1: because they'll turn them into a eunuch.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean if that's your option again and green
Speaker 1: or eunuch. I suppose when you've got testicular cancer, they whip.
Speaker 3: Your ball out. Yeah, I don't think anyone's going to
Speaker 3: miss it. So he's he's all tracked in no wheels. Now,
Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is we needed to do a bit more research
Speaker 1: into this, because could you just tuck them up like
Speaker 1: when you've been in a cold pool, you know, just
Speaker 1: send them.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's true. You could send them north and
Speaker 4: just sew it up. Yeah that's but then when someone's
Speaker 4: working the balls for your in the benches.
Speaker 3: There's no more of that. There's no more of that,
Speaker 3: And I don't think anyone to miss it the balls.
Speaker 3: Two other guests of the parper circles or just walked
Speaker 3: past work the balls.
Speaker 4: I suppose you could. I suppose if he really wanted to.
Speaker 4: You can remove some of your spare elbow skin for
Speaker 4: a Wieners transfer, for a Wiener transplant, and create a
Speaker 4: ball bag. You know, it's like because they do do
Speaker 4: testicular implants, like if you lose a nut, they actually
Speaker 4: put a prosthetic nut in there, just so you've got
Speaker 4: the feeling of having two nuts.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't miss them on it. They're probably the most
Speaker 3: annoying part of my body.
Speaker 4: I've said this multiple times. I think it's a good
Speaker 4: opportunity for people if you lose a nut or both nuts,
Speaker 4: to bring a better comedy back into the bedroom because
Speaker 4: you can put some funny shaped nuts in there, like
Speaker 4: a rabbit, playboy, yeah or something, and then you can
Speaker 4: go to the pub and you can go. You wouldn't
Speaker 4: believe it, but one of my testicles is shaped like
Speaker 4: a rabbit, and they'd be like bullshit. I go, look,
Speaker 4: this may sound creepy, but you're I'm happy for you
Speaker 4: to have a player. I'll guarantee you look. And then
Speaker 4: the other one could potentially be the thing that unlocks
Speaker 4: your car. Oh, you're key for you just press your
Speaker 4: nut and go whoo boos.
Speaker 1: So you can't you're just walking around a car buck
Speaker 1: squeezing your nut, trying to find your car.
Speaker 4: So there's opportunities there for that man who's lost his scrip,
Speaker 4: just to bring some joy back. That's right, that's right,
Speaker 4: and that would raise a bit more awareness.
Speaker 3: I've got got some prayers.
Speaker 1: I need to go and get checked out. I've got
Speaker 1: bloody brisket stuck between my teeth. Actually went into the
Speaker 1: pharmacy and bought some.
Speaker 4: Because they're at the Smoky Palette and they put out
Speaker 4: all their smoke delights. Oh my god, it's nightful. Yeah,
Speaker 4: certainly smelt it this morning. Beef brisket just wedged in
Speaker 4: there between the molders.
Speaker 1: All right, let's take one more quick break and then
Speaker 1: I've got a half baked sports idea for you.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: Today's half baked sports idea was actually developed yesterday in
Speaker 1: the car after the news that the Commonwealth Games are
Speaker 1: going to be shortened. They're going to have been about
Speaker 1: I think it was like eight different events I've which
Speaker 1: none of us will miss. No opportunities, well middle opportunities
Speaker 1: for us. So Seven's is gone, Squash is gone. Squash
Speaker 1: is gone, and we're a chance in both of those,
Speaker 1: So yeah, it is a little bit disappointing the Commonwealth Games.
Speaker 3: It is starting to fizzle out a little bit. I
Speaker 3: think they.
Speaker 1: The hardest part about it is it's basically just Ossie's
Speaker 1: cleaning up swimming medals and that's pretty much all it
Speaker 1: is because the Americans aren't there, the Russians aren't there, Chinese,
Speaker 1: Chinese aren't there, so it's just Ossie's just flexing.
Speaker 3: That's why they've picked it up and I'm going to
Speaker 3: host it.
Speaker 4: I know they're the one that ditched it that it
Speaker 4: was going to be in Victoria and then they DIDNA
Speaker 4: too expensive and it's been picked up picked up again
Speaker 4: by Glasgow, so it's happening back in Glasgow and they're
Speaker 4: only using four venues and everyone's staying in hotels now.
Speaker 1: Obviously, the half bake sports idea that I've talked about
Speaker 1: before on the show is the solution fight Island. You
Speaker 1: have one place where all of the events are, but
Speaker 1: if we're going to go in this direction where we
Speaker 1: shrink it down. This is something we have talked briefly
Speaker 1: on the podcast about before. But today's half baked sports
Speaker 1: idea is boil the Commonwealth Games and the Olympics down
Speaker 1: to just eight core events and I've got them written
Speaker 1: down here.
Speaker 3: This is we've I've boiled this down as much as
Speaker 3: I can. The events are can you run fast? Yep?
Speaker 3: One hundred meters? Can you run far? Which is the marathon.
Speaker 3: I'll accept the ten k maybe as well, marathon do nothing?
Speaker 3: Can you jump long? Yep? Can you jump high? Yes?
Speaker 3: Can you swim yep?
Speaker 1: And that's one hundred meters free style, so that's five
Speaker 1: which is one turn.
Speaker 3: And a lot of people don't know this. Free style
Speaker 3: literally means you can swim however you want. It's free
Speaker 3: to the style. It's free. Whatever style you want, feel
Speaker 3: free to use it.
Speaker 1: If you're a faster backstroke swimmer, then you are the
Speaker 1: Australian crawl, which is the freestyle.
Speaker 3: Then you're allowed to do the front propeller. The front
Speaker 3: propeller if you're an excellent doggy peddler. If you're a
Speaker 3: doggy pedlar, of note you you can do that in
Speaker 3: the freestyle anyway. So can you swim? Can you throw?
Speaker 4: We need one throwing event. Okay, I'm gonna suggest javelin. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I think because it's it was between javelin and shop.
Speaker 3: What wasn't it?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And I think javelin has a bit more to it.
Speaker 4: What even just go cricket ball toss, credible throw? Yeah,
Speaker 4: just yeah, well that's that's more. Everyone does that at school.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I'll accept a base well, cricket ball throw
Speaker 1: for the Commonwealth Games, base the baseball for the Olympics
Speaker 1: if you want.
Speaker 3: But for the moment, javelin, are you strong? Yep?
Speaker 1: So weightlifting, I look at weightlifting, leave that in there,
Speaker 1: and then I think we need can you fight? Okay,
Speaker 1: which I'll go with wrestling because you know Greco Roman wrestling.
Speaker 1: It's a bit of oh yeah, it's a bit of
Speaker 1: both because that.
Speaker 3: Would have been around, you know, when they were originally
Speaker 3: doing it.
Speaker 4: And there's no no classes, there's no weight division, none
Speaker 4: of that shit. It's men's and women's.
Speaker 1: And yes, you send I actually initially suggested that we
Speaker 1: just send one athlete of each gender from each country,
Speaker 1: so we seend Lisa Carrington and Artie Zavier and they
Speaker 1: compete in all of these The problem you're going to
Speaker 1: run into is I don't know if Artie is any
Speaker 1: good at swimming, you know what I mean. You want
Speaker 1: to see the fastest. You want to see the fastest.
Speaker 1: So I think you each country sends eight athletes each gender.
Speaker 4: The sixteen athletes from each country, it brings the cost
Speaker 4: down but massively because then it's only really they can
Speaker 4: all share rooms. So that's only eight hotel rooms. Yeah,
Speaker 4: maybe a couple of fis, couple of phizzios. You just
Speaker 4: travel over as one team. I mean, sixteen people is
Speaker 4: like a basketball team. Yeah, so think of the transport.
Speaker 4: It's makes it easier, just a mini bus of the transport.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I think I think we're really on to
Speaker 4: we want to hear.
Speaker 1: So just quickly again the eight games that we've boiled
Speaker 1: it down to and feel free to let us know.
Speaker 1: We could probably even ditch one of the jumps. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but these are the eight that we got
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 3: Let us know what you think. In the old voicemails,
Speaker 3: can you run fast? Can you run fast?
Speaker 1: Can you jump high? Can you jump long? Can you swim?
Speaker 1: Can you throw? Are you strong? And can you fight?
Speaker 3: Yep?
Speaker 1: And that is all we need to see from the
Speaker 1: from the Olympics. You don't need fifteen different types of swimming.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: The only reason Michael Phelps the greatest Olympian of all
Speaker 1: time is because Usain Bolt wasn't allowed to do the
Speaker 1: three legged race, the Egan Spoon race, the running backwards race.
Speaker 1: You know, otherwise he'd have all those medals too. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I can boil it all down and the Commonwealth Games
Speaker 1: could live for ever. Speaking of which, I think we
Speaker 1: could get in the pool. Absolutely, I am dying. My
Speaker 1: laptops just shut down. We're gonna jump in there, fush
Speaker 1: that dolphin out of the pool and carry on our
Speaker 1: merry way. We'll be back again tomorrow for another episode
Speaker 1: of the Gender Podcast.
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