WEBVTT - Sandy Pasley: Parents must ask how engaged their child is in school 0:00:05.721 --> 0:00:19.681 You're listening to the Weekend collective podcast from News Talks Phenomena, Monomena, Phenomena. 0:00:34.081 --> 0:00:34.161 M. 0:00:38.441 --> 0:00:41.521 Yes, welcome back. I don't know why I just chose 0:00:41.561 --> 0:00:44.121 to play mnomenapp, but it was somehow. It came across 0:00:44.161 --> 0:00:46.521 my radar the other day and I thought, gosh, how 0:00:46.521 --> 0:00:48.721 many people don't know the tu mnama up I mean 0:00:48.881 --> 0:00:51.081 global It must be one of the most famous songs 0:00:51.081 --> 0:00:53.201 there is. But it was all based on a French 0:00:53.281 --> 0:00:57.161 or Italian composer may nor me no, which means of 0:00:57.161 --> 0:00:59.641 course not or but no. But anyway, there's a bit 0:00:59.681 --> 0:01:01.321 of trivia for you. But I thought it would be 0:01:01.361 --> 0:01:04.881 a nice because we saw these we we all learned 0:01:04.881 --> 0:01:07.681 that song probably when we're watching Sesame Street, which is 0:01:07.721 --> 0:01:12.161 out some of their first doses of television education entertainment. 0:01:12.521 --> 0:01:14.841 And so that sort of ties into in a very 0:01:14.881 --> 0:01:19.041 long winded way to the parents squad, because we're gonna 0:01:19.041 --> 0:01:21.801 have a chat about a couple of things. Recently. There 0:01:21.841 --> 0:01:24.641 will have been you may or may not have gone 0:01:24.681 --> 0:01:28.161 along to your parent teacher interviews and you know what, 0:01:28.201 --> 0:01:29.721 should We're gonna have a bit of a chat about 0:01:29.721 --> 0:01:32.041 what did you expect to get out of those parent 0:01:32.081 --> 0:01:37.441 teacher interviews and do those expectations need to change as 0:01:37.481 --> 0:01:40.321 you go so obviously, parent teacher interview five year old 0:01:40.681 --> 0:01:42.881 you want chapter and verse, You want to I guess 0:01:42.921 --> 0:01:45.521 you want to know that the teacher has got to 0:01:45.601 --> 0:01:49.041 understand how your kid works and the how your kid 0:01:49.041 --> 0:01:52.441 That sounds so terribly sling, how your child works and 0:01:52.761 --> 0:01:54.721 what their challenges are, and you're going to you're looking 0:01:54.761 --> 0:01:56.841 forward to an in depth conversation. But as time goes on, 0:01:58.081 --> 0:02:00.921 maybe you know it's like speed dating. When you get 0:02:00.961 --> 0:02:04.601 to secondary school, it's like hello, how is she good? Okay? Bye? 0:02:05.401 --> 0:02:07.961 What do you expect to get from your parent teacher interviews? 0:02:08.241 --> 0:02:10.041 We want to hear from you on eight hundred eighty 0:02:10.041 --> 0:02:12.241 ten eighty, And we're also going to have a chat 0:02:12.761 --> 0:02:14.641 based on just my own experience as a parent on 0:02:14.681 --> 0:02:18.121 accountability and how far you need to go with teaching 0:02:18.161 --> 0:02:21.841 your children and Mike in our case, sort of the 0:02:21.921 --> 0:02:26.001 value of money, but accountability for causing damage? How do 0:02:26.041 --> 0:02:28.121 you teach them? How far do you how far do 0:02:28.201 --> 0:02:31.321 you make them front up for their own mistakes and 0:02:31.481 --> 0:02:35.001 your own perhaps so anyway, lots to talk about. We 0:02:35.041 --> 0:02:38.001 want your calls on eight hundred eighty ten eighty and 0:02:38.041 --> 0:02:40.001 you can text on nine two nine two, but jump 0:02:40.081 --> 0:02:41.721 on the blow. We'd love to hear from you and 0:02:41.801 --> 0:02:45.361 joining us. She is former principal of Barradine. She's an 0:02:45.761 --> 0:02:48.121 education expert. Let's just call her that. And her name 0:02:48.161 --> 0:02:50.921 is Sandy Pasley And Sandy's with me now, Sandy, Hello, 0:02:50.961 --> 0:02:51.961 how are you hi? 0:02:52.201 --> 0:02:52.641 How are you? 0:02:52.681 --> 0:02:54.841 Tom Good? Did you used to love the parent teacher 0:02:54.881 --> 0:02:59.201 interviews because you would have done them as a parent, actually, 0:02:59.241 --> 0:03:03.321 and as a teacher, which sounds like you'd be hard work, which. 0:03:03.161 --> 0:03:07.801 Is very difficult. One of those people that actually took notes. 0:03:08.481 --> 0:03:09.641 As the parent. 0:03:09.921 --> 0:03:10.721 As a parent, of. 0:03:10.681 --> 0:03:13.681 Course, Yeah, I took a notebook with me. I don't 0:03:13.721 --> 0:03:18.081 think I wrote anything in it, because I mean one 0:03:18.081 --> 0:03:20.001 of my daughters. I guess I should give them their 0:03:20.001 --> 0:03:23.081 anonymity and not say which one, but I was sort 0:03:23.081 --> 0:03:26.961 of The teachers were quite happy with her. And once 0:03:27.001 --> 0:03:29.201 they said they were happy with her, I suddenly thought, 0:03:29.201 --> 0:03:32.481 I need to ask something else. What do I need 0:03:32.521 --> 0:03:37.201 to know? What do you think? Parents? Let's look at 0:03:37.201 --> 0:03:40.721 the your most recent part of your careers at Bardine 0:03:41.041 --> 0:03:44.161 High School parent teacher interviews. What are they about? 0:03:45.001 --> 0:03:48.361 Well? I think it's quite hard for a start, for 0:03:48.401 --> 0:03:52.081 a teacher, can I give the teacher's side for a 0:03:52.121 --> 0:03:54.801 little while, because you've got about one hundred and fifty 0:03:54.801 --> 0:03:58.041 students and so you've got to be really on the ball, 0:03:58.921 --> 0:04:02.041 have your information in front of you as a teacher. 0:04:02.481 --> 0:04:05.881 But then I think it's really important for the to ask, 0:04:06.121 --> 0:04:09.881 you know, is my child engaged? Is my daughter or 0:04:09.921 --> 0:04:13.681 my son actually interested in learning? What do you see 0:04:13.721 --> 0:04:16.601 them in interacting? And how do you see them interacting 0:04:16.641 --> 0:04:19.561 in the classroom? Yeah, how are they doing? 0:04:19.641 --> 0:04:20.681 And are there any issues? 0:04:20.761 --> 0:04:20.961 Yes? 0:04:21.001 --> 0:04:22.481 And you've got to want to hear the answer too, 0:04:22.521 --> 0:04:22.921 don't you. 0:04:23.001 --> 0:04:25.681 Yes, definitely, And you probably want to know if they're doing, 0:04:26.161 --> 0:04:28.921 they are achieving what you would expect them to be achieving, 0:04:29.961 --> 0:04:34.601 and maybe are they working? Are they showing that they've 0:04:34.601 --> 0:04:35.641 got a good work ethic? 0:04:35.841 --> 0:04:39.761 Now, what did you ask your when you were a parent? Okay, 0:04:39.841 --> 0:04:42.361 because I did try and differentiate it. Although I didn't 0:04:42.401 --> 0:04:45.361 do it, I probably didn't give the reason. The reason 0:04:45.401 --> 0:04:48.121 that you can expect a better meeting and a longer 0:04:48.161 --> 0:04:50.161 meeting when your kids when your child is five or 0:04:50.201 --> 0:04:53.161 sex is because they have one teacher and they've maybe 0:04:53.201 --> 0:04:56.041 got twenty four to twenty five twenty six students, and 0:04:56.921 --> 0:04:58.721 I think it's I mean, I think it's very important 0:04:58.761 --> 0:05:01.641 to make the most of those opportunities to engage with 0:05:01.681 --> 0:05:04.641 your children child's learning. Whereas, as you point out, for 0:05:04.681 --> 0:05:07.161 a second school teacher, they've got maybe one hundred and 0:05:07.201 --> 0:05:10.041 fifty students and you're lucky if you get an appointment, 0:05:10.041 --> 0:05:11.521 to be honest, aren't you, Because there's so much time 0:05:11.521 --> 0:05:11.961 in a day. 0:05:12.241 --> 0:05:15.881 Yes, yeah, it's really hard in secondary schools, but it's 0:05:15.921 --> 0:05:18.881 really crucial for those core subjects to know how your 0:05:18.961 --> 0:05:19.641 child is doing. 0:05:19.881 --> 0:05:22.201 Okay, so what did you ask? Let's put on Sandy 0:05:22.241 --> 0:05:22.961 Paisley parent. 0:05:24.281 --> 0:05:27.041 Probably the first thing i'd say is, you know, are 0:05:27.041 --> 0:05:30.281 there any problems behavior in the class? Not that I 0:05:30.361 --> 0:05:33.961 needed to, Yeah, it sounds like they had terrible children, 0:05:34.001 --> 0:05:34.521 but I didn't. 0:05:34.841 --> 0:05:37.641 Well that was actually that was what I asked in 0:05:37.641 --> 0:05:40.841 the end, because your children are completely of what I've 0:05:40.921 --> 0:05:45.481 learned is my children are completely different in school to 0:05:45.561 --> 0:05:48.321 how they are at home. And every parent I've talked 0:05:48.321 --> 0:05:51.841 to who got a positive glowing review said they sat 0:05:51.881 --> 0:05:54.361 there going but does she talk back to you? Does she? 0:05:54.921 --> 0:05:59.481 Because kids at school they're putting their best foot forward 0:05:59.561 --> 0:06:02.281 and when they get home whatever they need to let out, 0:06:02.761 --> 0:06:04.601 they let out. Yeah. 0:06:04.721 --> 0:06:07.361 Yeah, you see them differently as a parent, don't you. 0:06:07.481 --> 0:06:09.121 Yeah, And I think that that was the thing that 0:06:09.201 --> 0:06:11.961 stuck out to me. Well, actually, I'm not going to 0:06:11.961 --> 0:06:14.321 brag about my kids, but they got some they were 0:06:14.441 --> 0:06:16.801 nice meetings, and the school was happy with them. But 0:06:16.881 --> 0:06:21.001 I was I was thinking, okay, but what about Actually, 0:06:21.041 --> 0:06:22.601 in fact, a couple of times I said, does she 0:06:22.641 --> 0:06:24.921 talk back to you? Does she do this? No? No, 0:06:25.201 --> 0:06:27.561 it's fine. So what else should I have asked? 0:06:28.521 --> 0:06:31.881 It would be quite interesting to ask your student, your child, 0:06:31.921 --> 0:06:34.801 before that you go to those interviews, you know, what 0:06:34.921 --> 0:06:37.561 about that class? How do you think you're doing? Is 0:06:37.561 --> 0:06:39.921 there any issues, so that you've got a bit of 0:06:39.961 --> 0:06:41.801 background from their point of view as well? 0:06:41.841 --> 0:06:44.921 Okay, that's the one. Yeah. I think the problem is 0:06:44.961 --> 0:06:46.841 they just generally grit their teeth and they're just sort 0:06:46.841 --> 0:06:48.721 of like, oh, okay, dad. Then you've got one in 0:06:48.761 --> 0:06:50.841 five minutes and you go along and you're not going 0:06:50.881 --> 0:06:52.481 to say, oh, you're not going to say that. That'll 0:06:52.481 --> 0:06:54.921 be embarrassing if you make a joke about that. That's 0:06:54.961 --> 0:06:57.681 their main thing as well. I'm going to embarrass them. 0:06:57.801 --> 0:07:00.121 So what your questions were I've got I got off 0:07:00.161 --> 0:07:02.801 the topic there because I was too busy gassing. But 0:07:02.961 --> 0:07:04.761 so you would as a parent, you'd go on to 0:07:04.801 --> 0:07:09.041 say how are they? How are they doing first? Are 0:07:09.081 --> 0:07:11.361 they behaving? Are they cooperative member of the class? What 0:07:11.401 --> 0:07:12.041 are the other things? 0:07:12.641 --> 0:07:17.801 Academic progress? Of course, also in terms of social interactions, 0:07:18.201 --> 0:07:21.761 because I think a teacher can see how a student's 0:07:21.801 --> 0:07:26.641 interacting with their peers and that's important for interpersonal skills 0:07:26.681 --> 0:07:29.241 and learning about how to work with others. 0:07:30.241 --> 0:07:32.081 Yeah, what were the things that you would look for 0:07:32.121 --> 0:07:35.921 because in a way you are interviewing the teacher and 0:07:36.001 --> 0:07:38.081 trying to get your own reckons that you are happy 0:07:38.161 --> 0:07:41.481 to entrust your child to their care for their education. 0:07:41.641 --> 0:07:43.921 So there will be parents whore like I mean, if 0:07:43.961 --> 0:07:46.961 you if you're not sure and I don't want to 0:07:46.961 --> 0:07:49.201 you don't want to fit, I mean, paranoid parents would 0:07:49.201 --> 0:07:51.881 be quite a thing to deal with. But there would 0:07:51.921 --> 0:07:54.761 be times when you'd be is there in a way 0:07:54.801 --> 0:07:58.241 that is the parent testing the teacher as well that 0:07:58.921 --> 0:08:02.401 I maybe I might have asked at some stage, asked 0:08:02.401 --> 0:08:06.081 a question where you're hoping that she gives a certain answer, 0:08:06.121 --> 0:08:09.161 because then that tells you, okay, they know my kid, 0:08:09.401 --> 0:08:12.361 I can relax now, or do you think that's a 0:08:12.841 --> 0:08:13.761 tricky situation. 0:08:13.961 --> 0:08:16.521 It is a tricky situation in a high school. It's 0:08:16.601 --> 0:08:18.121 not a tricky situation. 0:08:17.761 --> 0:08:19.481 In primary school. In primary school, you would. 0:08:19.241 --> 0:08:22.761 Expect them to know them really well. On high schools 0:08:23.001 --> 0:08:28.241 it's a bit different. I think that the teacher, it's 0:08:28.321 --> 0:08:31.481 really important not to come with preconceived ideas about the teacher. 0:08:31.561 --> 0:08:34.921 And you certainly might have preconceived ideas if your child's 0:08:34.961 --> 0:08:40.081 been talking about a particular teacher, and quite it would 0:08:40.081 --> 0:08:43.921 be quite interesting just to sit there and try and 0:08:44.001 --> 0:08:47.001 forget what your child said and you form your own view. 0:08:47.641 --> 0:08:49.761 Actually I did have Well, there was one child who 0:08:49.761 --> 0:08:53.281 had expressed reservations about a teacher, and then I met 0:08:53.281 --> 0:08:55.241 the teacher. I said she's great, and she said, oh, yeah, 0:08:55.241 --> 0:08:58.441 that was just at the start of the year. She's great. 0:08:57.961 --> 0:09:01.001 Never bother to update me. We'd love to hear from you, though, 0:09:01.001 --> 0:09:04.761 if you've got any questions for Sandy, because on what 0:09:04.841 --> 0:09:06.961 to expect on this, because it isn't a way when 0:09:06.961 --> 0:09:09.041 your kids get a bit older. It is a little 0:09:09.041 --> 0:09:11.841 bit like a speed dating exercise. So what are the 0:09:11.961 --> 0:09:14.961 questions that you have asked your teachers in the past, 0:09:15.241 --> 0:09:18.361 or what have you wanted to learn? Because the other 0:09:19.081 --> 0:09:24.201 cynical throwaway remark I might say is that probably if 0:09:24.201 --> 0:09:27.321 the parents have gone to the effort of making sure 0:09:28.161 --> 0:09:32.881 that they get an appointment, it's probably I'm imagining it. 0:09:32.961 --> 0:09:35.801 Most of the time, they're always pretty positive because parents 0:09:35.841 --> 0:09:38.321 are engaged in their children's learning, So it's almost like 0:09:39.321 --> 0:09:41.841 job done before you've even met the teacher, because what 0:09:42.241 --> 0:09:44.561 you guys want as a school is parents who are 0:09:44.601 --> 0:09:47.121 engaged with their kids learning, with your child's learning. God, 0:09:47.121 --> 0:09:51.081 I got assistop saying kids, sorry, but is that sort 0:09:51.081 --> 0:09:51.961 of true? Job done? 0:09:52.081 --> 0:09:55.561 Absolutely, But it is a partnership tim right from the start, 0:09:56.201 --> 0:09:57.881 and it's got to work, and there's got to be 0:09:57.921 --> 0:09:58.961 trust on both sides. 0:09:59.121 --> 0:10:00.321 Yeah. 0:10:00.681 --> 0:10:04.041 Teachers would often say I get to see all the 0:10:04.081 --> 0:10:06.961 probably all the parents I don't need to see, and 0:10:07.001 --> 0:10:09.441 the ones I really want to see I don't see now. 0:10:10.001 --> 0:10:12.281 And that's and I don't know what the solution to 0:10:12.321 --> 0:10:15.001 that is. I guess that's because things have to get 0:10:15.001 --> 0:10:17.521 to a more dramatic point with the problem, with a 0:10:17.601 --> 0:10:19.401 real problem with the learning, where you literally have to 0:10:19.441 --> 0:10:22.721 say we need to see you, and that's there's the 0:10:22.761 --> 0:10:26.721 parent teacher engagement, which is generally you know, nice, brief, 0:10:26.801 --> 0:10:31.681 hopefully informative, and then there's this all this other territory 0:10:31.801 --> 0:10:34.361 till there's a major problem. How do I mean, how 0:10:34.361 --> 0:10:36.921 do you encourage parents to engage in it then? Because 0:10:37.041 --> 0:10:40.201 also it's it's limited places, isn't it. 0:10:40.321 --> 0:10:43.801 Yes, it is, It's hard. Now you just hope that 0:10:43.881 --> 0:10:48.441 parents will come along and take the opportunity. Some schools 0:10:48.441 --> 0:10:51.921 do that, I know, actually give some sort of signals 0:10:52.001 --> 0:10:55.601 to parents if there's a concern pretty early on before 0:10:55.601 --> 0:10:58.561 parent interviews, so that parents have got a bit of 0:10:58.561 --> 0:11:01.081 a heads up that something might not be right, and 0:11:01.241 --> 0:11:04.041 make sure that they come along to interviews, and they 0:11:04.081 --> 0:11:04.601 follow up. 0:11:05.041 --> 0:11:06.921 But does sometimes a school even go so far as 0:11:07.001 --> 0:11:09.081 to making sure there's a place available for that parent 0:11:09.081 --> 0:11:11.001 and let's just wait. If we don't hear from them, 0:11:11.041 --> 0:11:12.721 then we'll offer it up in a few days time 0:11:12.841 --> 0:11:13.201 or something. 0:11:13.321 --> 0:11:16.281 Absolutely so the dean will follow up and say, look, 0:11:16.321 --> 0:11:17.841 I think it'd be great if you came along to 0:11:17.881 --> 0:11:20.001 the interviews because we need to talk to you about. 0:11:20.281 --> 0:11:25.161 So how how much how can a parent be engaged 0:11:25.201 --> 0:11:27.681 with their child's learning when they are going through those 0:11:27.721 --> 0:11:33.681 teenage years because teenagers aren't necessarily the easiest sharers. They 0:11:34.281 --> 0:11:36.681 whether they get homework or not. But so you have that, 0:11:36.881 --> 0:11:39.161 you know, it seems to me that questions around being 0:11:39.201 --> 0:11:41.281 engaged with the child's learning when they're five, six, and 0:11:41.321 --> 0:11:44.121 seven and eight, that's a no brainer. I mean, it's 0:11:44.161 --> 0:11:47.121 a young age. Hopefully the parents are in there, but 0:11:47.201 --> 0:11:49.121 as they get older, you have to step back of it, 0:11:49.201 --> 0:11:51.801 don't you. Is that was that for you a bit 0:11:51.801 --> 0:11:54.561 of a journey as a teacher as well to hey mum, 0:11:54.641 --> 0:11:57.481 back off. You know, I know you're a teacher. 0:11:57.161 --> 0:12:00.081 But it definitely was to because what did I know? 0:12:00.561 --> 0:12:03.161 You know, your children don't realize what you know to 0:12:03.201 --> 0:12:05.521 be able to assist them anyway. But it also is 0:12:05.521 --> 0:12:07.761 the time in their lives when they're trying to be 0:12:07.841 --> 0:12:10.921 independent and you've got to respect that. But it is 0:12:11.001 --> 0:12:13.641 frustrating as a parent when you can see that they're 0:12:13.681 --> 0:12:16.201 perhaps not doing the homework that they should be doing, 0:12:16.321 --> 0:12:18.801 or you know they've already done it and they give 0:12:18.801 --> 0:12:22.121 you that answer, no, got it sorted, and you worry 0:12:22.361 --> 0:12:23.041 or that they haven't. 0:12:23.121 --> 0:12:26.281 Because as part of that journey, I've I mean my 0:12:26.321 --> 0:12:27.881 wife and I and again she doesn't like me to 0:12:27.881 --> 0:12:31.161 share to I try not to. It's very difficult to 0:12:31.161 --> 0:12:33.041 a parenting are because I come to it as a 0:12:33.081 --> 0:12:35.481 parent and let them have a little bit of privacy 0:12:35.521 --> 0:12:38.401 and their views and things. But it wouldn't be too 0:12:38.441 --> 0:12:40.921 much to work out that my wife's a teacher, so 0:12:40.961 --> 0:12:45.001 she is more switched on to these things, whereas so, 0:12:45.081 --> 0:12:47.681 for instance, if there's some homework that might not be 0:12:47.721 --> 0:12:52.121 getting done, my wife would be more regular at reminding them, 0:12:52.361 --> 0:12:55.281 whereas I might be, well, hang on, they're getting to 0:12:55.361 --> 0:12:58.321 this age. If they can't follow up on this, then 0:12:58.361 --> 0:13:03.001 I'd like them to learn that mistake themselves. I'm not 0:13:03.041 --> 0:13:05.881 sure I'm right, but you know, in terms of helping 0:13:05.921 --> 0:13:07.601 them along, because there is a bit where you have 0:13:07.681 --> 0:13:09.161 to pull back and it's like, well, I know you've 0:13:09.201 --> 0:13:11.001 got that assignment. I'm not going to do it for you, 0:13:11.601 --> 0:13:14.841 but how far should I participate in nudging them all 0:13:14.881 --> 0:13:15.801 the time? Nagging them? 0:13:15.841 --> 0:13:19.521 Even you were so right, because it's so hard to 0:13:19.561 --> 0:13:23.161 teach and consequences, isn't it. And where do you step 0:13:23.201 --> 0:13:26.161 back as a parent because you worry if you're actually 0:13:26.201 --> 0:13:29.481 not in there supporting them and saying nagging them a 0:13:29.561 --> 0:13:32.761 wee bit, yeah, it'll be a disaster. But it doesn't 0:13:32.761 --> 0:13:35.961 work that way either, because then they rely on you. 0:13:36.841 --> 0:13:38.401 It is a funny way. I mean, what age do 0:13:38.441 --> 0:13:41.121 you think you've got to start letting? I mean, it's 0:13:41.241 --> 0:13:43.801 every child is different, I guess. But did you was 0:13:43.841 --> 0:13:45.401 that an exercise you had to go through as a 0:13:45.441 --> 0:13:47.721 parent where you're like, hey, on a minute, okay, I 0:13:47.761 --> 0:13:50.481 know I want to I want to be involved and 0:13:50.521 --> 0:13:52.201 tell them what they should be doing. But is there 0:13:52.401 --> 0:13:55.961 did you have to force yourself to go okay, hands 0:13:56.001 --> 0:13:57.441 off a little bit more? 0:13:57.601 --> 0:14:04.241 Oh? Definitely, that's tricky. Tim probably getting year nine and 0:14:04.281 --> 0:14:06.361 ten on starting to think, well, they've got to actually 0:14:06.401 --> 0:14:11.041 have a bit of motivation themselves. And it's so hard 0:14:11.241 --> 0:14:14.121 because I know as a parent, when they kept forgetting 0:14:14.121 --> 0:14:17.561 their lunch for instance, you know you see parents rocking 0:14:17.641 --> 0:14:21.561 up to school with the lunch guilty yep. Whereas a 0:14:21.601 --> 0:14:23.601 big good thing to do is not do that and 0:14:23.681 --> 0:14:26.001 let them have the consequences of not having their lunch. 0:14:26.321 --> 0:14:28.121 And they would only do it once, wouldn't they? 0:14:28.361 --> 0:14:30.081 Yeah? And what age would you do that? I guess? 0:14:30.081 --> 0:14:32.201 I mean, I'm not going to drill into this too much. 0:14:32.441 --> 0:14:34.401 We'd actually like to hear from you a little bit. 0:14:34.441 --> 0:14:36.961 And look, I've already gone onto one of our other topics, 0:14:37.001 --> 0:14:40.321 which is about accountability and consequences. But if you've got 0:14:40.361 --> 0:14:45.521 any on the parent teacher interview, what do you look 0:14:45.561 --> 0:14:49.401 for when you have that appointment with the teacher or 0:14:49.721 --> 0:14:51.721 do you go along with what we've sort of concluded, 0:14:51.841 --> 0:14:54.001 is that really the parents if you're one of those 0:14:54.041 --> 0:14:56.801 parents who make sure that you make the appointment and 0:14:56.801 --> 0:14:59.681 you get along to meet the teachers, just the fact 0:14:59.681 --> 0:15:02.521 that you're their job done, that's all you need. Ask 0:15:02.561 --> 0:15:05.481 a couple of questions. And that's great because it's Sandy 0:15:05.601 --> 0:15:08.161 was indicating, maybe it's the parents you haven't made that effort, 0:15:08.161 --> 0:15:10.241 but the ones at the school sometimes wants to see 0:15:10.761 --> 0:15:13.561 how do you approach the speed dating give us if 0:15:13.561 --> 0:15:15.961 you'd like to share with us your philosophies and how 0:15:15.961 --> 0:15:17.201 you approach it. We'd love to hear from you. On 0:15:17.321 --> 0:15:19.721 eight hundred eighty ten eighty. My guest is Sandy Pasley, 0:15:19.721 --> 0:15:22.001 she's former principal at Barridine and we're going to get 0:15:22.001 --> 0:15:23.961 on to the big one for me as well after 0:15:24.001 --> 0:15:27.201 this is also teaching consequences and accountability. When do you 0:15:27.241 --> 0:15:29.161 really start to go a bit harder on that oh 0:15:29.241 --> 0:15:33.281 eight hundred eighty ten eighty text twenty two past five 0:15:33.361 --> 0:15:34.121 News took said. 0:15:33.921 --> 0:16:05.761 B. 0:16:00.041 --> 0:16:02.561 Okay, well, welcome back. This is the Parents Squad. I'm 0:16:02.601 --> 0:16:05.001 Tim Beverbridge. My guest is Sandy Pasley. She's former principal 0:16:05.121 --> 0:16:06.841 barret In College. That's when my girls go. And I 0:16:06.841 --> 0:16:10.121 have talked about that before, you know, and we've been 0:16:10.161 --> 0:16:11.961 having a bit of a chat just because it has 0:16:12.001 --> 0:16:16.441 been the speed dating season of parent teacher interviews. But 0:16:16.561 --> 0:16:18.561 also the other thing I wanted to talk about, Sandy, 0:16:18.761 --> 0:16:24.761 was the bigger question about accountability. And I have one 0:16:24.801 --> 0:16:29.281 of my daughters and look devices, so laptops, and there's 0:16:29.321 --> 0:16:33.481 a lot, you know, there's a lot. It's expensive to provide, 0:16:33.601 --> 0:16:36.081 you know, the apparel for your cons education these days. 0:16:36.521 --> 0:16:39.121 And I've had one daughter who has turned out and 0:16:39.161 --> 0:16:41.681 has broken her screen a couple of times, and it's 0:16:41.681 --> 0:16:44.641 become quite expensive. And she sort of did roll out 0:16:44.681 --> 0:16:47.001 a few excuses. And I know I mentioned to other 0:16:47.041 --> 0:16:49.761 parents and every parent's gone, oh, yes, such and such 0:16:49.801 --> 0:16:53.241 broke this and broke that. And I I'm going through 0:16:53.241 --> 0:16:55.281 this thing because you want them to have the best 0:16:55.281 --> 0:16:58.801 of everything. But I feel a bit grinchy because I've said, right, 0:16:59.761 --> 0:17:02.521 total cost is over a thousand bucks over a couple 0:17:02.561 --> 0:17:06.401 of years. I've said, we're taking one hundred and fifty 0:17:06.401 --> 0:17:08.761 bucks out of your savings and you're going to watch 0:17:08.761 --> 0:17:13.241 me do the transfer. And part of me thinks I'm 0:17:13.241 --> 0:17:16.161 doing absolutely the right thing, and part of me feels 0:17:16.161 --> 0:17:21.961 like an absolute not very nice person. And I don't 0:17:21.961 --> 0:17:23.921 know where the antswer lies because I want her to 0:17:24.001 --> 0:17:27.001 understand I don't want to punish her, but I want 0:17:27.041 --> 0:17:29.201 to punish her, and I don't know how to deal 0:17:29.241 --> 0:17:32.721 with it because it's, you know, I don't know, like 0:17:32.841 --> 0:17:34.641 you don't know, what do you reckon? 0:17:35.681 --> 0:17:39.001 It's all about knowing the learning the value of money, 0:17:39.041 --> 0:17:39.521 isn't it? 0:17:39.841 --> 0:17:41.881 And I guess so it is. 0:17:41.841 --> 0:17:45.321 A bit because I think that you know, if you 0:17:45.401 --> 0:17:47.921 give them jobs early on and they do homework and 0:17:47.961 --> 0:17:52.521 they can not homework, sorry, they do housework tools around 0:17:52.561 --> 0:17:56.321 the house, then they get the sense that they've actually 0:17:56.361 --> 0:18:00.281 earned something and they know how much they've earned, and 0:18:00.321 --> 0:18:05.841 then then they can translate it to your frustrate of 0:18:06.001 --> 0:18:09.081 actually another screen broken and it's so much money. 0:18:09.361 --> 0:18:12.521 Yeah, because I feel taking money out of savings doesn't 0:18:12.561 --> 0:18:15.881 feel particularly good. I just want her to see the transaction. God, 0:18:15.921 --> 0:18:20.841 I feel awful. So are you suggesting that maybe I 0:18:20.881 --> 0:18:22.761 can get her to work it off or a bit 0:18:22.761 --> 0:18:23.241 of both. 0:18:23.361 --> 0:18:26.641 Yes, definitely, And I think you can ask ask her 0:18:26.881 --> 0:18:29.921 to really reflect on you know, how would she feel 0:18:30.281 --> 0:18:31.481 if she was in your shoes? 0:18:32.321 --> 0:18:35.601 Well, the thing that triggered it was and again, look, 0:18:35.721 --> 0:18:37.761 you know, I'm sorry I have shared something of my daughters, 0:18:37.761 --> 0:18:41.041 but again, you know, everyone's children. They do damage to 0:18:41.121 --> 0:18:43.641 things and they sometimes don't work it out. And she 0:18:43.761 --> 0:18:45.441 was in the back of the car with her friend 0:18:45.801 --> 0:18:47.881 and she meant and I mentioned it, and she sort 0:18:47.881 --> 0:18:51.481 of sniggered, and I thought, that's that's if you're finding 0:18:51.561 --> 0:18:52.121 this money. 0:18:54.201 --> 0:18:57.881 Yeah, but the snigger might be nervousness. 0:18:57.481 --> 0:19:00.761 Oh possibly, or also it was you know, embarrassment. Yeah, 0:19:00.761 --> 0:19:02.401 probably the whole It was my fault. I should have 0:19:02.441 --> 0:19:04.401 kept it to myself. But look, I'd love to hearing 0:19:04.401 --> 0:19:05.921 you of it as well as how do you teach 0:19:05.921 --> 0:19:08.281 your kids about accountability, because there's some parents who go 0:19:08.401 --> 0:19:10.801 quite hardcore on this stuff and say you're going to 0:19:10.801 --> 0:19:13.641 earn every penny of that. And to me, as a parent, 0:19:13.881 --> 0:19:18.001 I think I've accept that kids make mistakes, accidents happen, 0:19:18.081 --> 0:19:19.961 and things like that, and you're there, you're there as 0:19:20.001 --> 0:19:23.241 a parent to pick up the pieces, and ultimately, when 0:19:23.281 --> 0:19:26.641 they're old enough, they don't even you don't even need 0:19:26.681 --> 0:19:28.281 to ask them to pick up the pieces because they know. 0:19:28.401 --> 0:19:29.961 But there's that middle ground, isn't there. 0:19:30.041 --> 0:19:32.761 Yeah, I think you're on the right track, tim asking 0:19:32.801 --> 0:19:33.561 for a contribution. 0:19:34.241 --> 0:19:36.601 Yeah, do you think going unto the savings and going 0:19:36.641 --> 0:19:42.001 here's your account, here's it going to trans we're going 0:19:42.001 --> 0:19:43.761 on holiday. I'm always tempted to maybe I could say, 0:19:43.801 --> 0:19:46.201 guess what such and such dinners on you tonight? 0:19:46.601 --> 0:19:49.961 Yeah, but maybe ask you what does she thinks fore you? 0:19:50.881 --> 0:19:53.361 Ah, she has suggested a sort of figure, which is 0:19:54.521 --> 0:19:58.161 I said it might be a bit more than that. 0:19:59.561 --> 0:20:04.361 I mean, yeah, anyway. But the other thing was because 0:20:04.641 --> 0:20:06.321 one of the that kids will throw up is like 0:20:06.321 --> 0:20:08.641 I don't know how that happened, or I didn't do 0:20:08.681 --> 0:20:11.001 anything or such and such and somebody must have, you know, 0:20:11.121 --> 0:20:13.521 dumped their bag and this is how it happened. And 0:20:13.561 --> 0:20:17.081