Speaker 1: You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks.
Speaker 2: It'd be.
Speaker 3: The news had come out in the First World War,
Speaker 3: bloody rasp barn s flying once more, the Allied command
Speaker 3: ignored all of his men and calling on Snoopie to
Speaker 3: do it again.
Speaker 2: Was the night for Christmas?
Speaker 3: Fort in Bugo with Snoopy went up in search of
Speaker 3: his phone, spying Rad Baron seriously. Then bot I saw
Speaker 3: his wings and knew.
Speaker 2: It was Trastmas.
Speaker 4: Well for this Christmas, ask me so, and.
Speaker 2: I had to write to the k chain saidn't I yeah,
Speaker 2: And welcome back to the shott This is Weeking Click.
Speaker 2: I'm Tim Beverage and this is the Parent Squad and
Speaker 2: this feels like an appropriate Christmas song. And I can
Speaker 2: tell how much my producer Tira, if we could just
Speaker 2: have TV cameras on the show, we'd turn them all
Speaker 2: around and you'd see Tyra's face when she plays one
Speaker 2: of her favorite Christmas ones and she's just so happy,
Speaker 2: just the happiest person in NZ ME right now. And
Speaker 2: in fact, my guest, who I'm Vater introduced, said, this
Speaker 2: is the first time I've heard that tune because with
Speaker 2: Christmas music December. The first rolls around and you start
Speaker 2: playing a bit, but there are some that you save
Speaker 2: for closer to Christmas. And I'm not sure and it's
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think closer to Christmas, I would
Speaker 2: probably roll out Snoopy's Christmas. It's the first time I've
Speaker 2: heard it, and it goes on forever. We could pretty
Speaker 2: much just check out and we'll leave Snoopy's Christmas rolling
Speaker 2: until six o'clock. But it wouldn't be much of a
Speaker 2: parent squad and in fact, interrupting Snoopy's Christmas is She's
Speaker 2: the founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trust, and her
Speaker 2: name is Kim Harvey. Today, Kim, how are you going?
Speaker 5: I got Tim? Thanks you all Christmas?
Speaker 2: You look you look very Christmasy and summary and bright
Speaker 2: hearted and pushy tail summary.
Speaker 5: Yeah definitely.
Speaker 2: Well, actually you don't got Christmasy. To be good Christmas,
Speaker 2: you'd have to be having or something.
Speaker 6: I know.
Speaker 7: I missed the boat on that today, didn't I it's.
Speaker 5: All right with the program.
Speaker 2: Are you are you a Christmas person?
Speaker 5: I love Christmas?
Speaker 2: Did you always love Christmas?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I always love Christmas.
Speaker 7: I love the whole ritual of putting up the Christmas tree,
Speaker 7: and I'd put the music on. And I remember, you know,
Speaker 7: as I got older and I had my own little
Speaker 7: home and that sort of thing, it was always, you know,
Speaker 7: put the music on and maybe have a little glass
Speaker 7: of bubbles, and even if I was on my own.
Speaker 7: But then, obviously, when you have kids, it's a whole
Speaker 7: nother kind of level of fun, and you know, you
Speaker 7: find different things that you do and different rituals that
Speaker 7: you have.
Speaker 2: And because I can't remember why, but I went through
Speaker 2: a period obviously as a child loved it, loved setting
Speaker 2: up the tree, artificial tree. It's wherever you're born with,
Speaker 2: doesn't it. You either have real or artificial. Used to
Speaker 2: love setting up, love the Christmas lights and all that
Speaker 2: and presents, and and then I went through a stage
Speaker 2: of I don't think I loathed Christmas, but I was
Speaker 2: incredibly indifferent to it. And then what caused that probably
Speaker 2: just I don't know. It's felt like a time where
Speaker 2: there's so much expectation to a lot of things, and
Speaker 2: I sometimes felt that Christmas, the expectations of Christmas, got
Speaker 2: in the way of people enjoying it. And I'd grown
Speaker 2: out of it, and then I had kids. You know, married,
Speaker 2: and then you have children, and my kids love Christmas
Speaker 2: so much and family and things like that that I'm
Speaker 2: back on board with it, which is just as well,
Speaker 2: because what sort of dad would I be if it's like, ah,
Speaker 2: your kids going on about Christmas? I couldn't care too
Speaker 2: hurts about it? She kind of no, see, But I
Speaker 2: think I think people who who are grinches in a way,
Speaker 2: it's just that just need a doorway back into loving
Speaker 2: it again. It's not actually necessarily their fault.
Speaker 5: No, of course, no, not at all.
Speaker 7: And there are all sorts of different reasons why, as
Speaker 7: you just said, why people you get to that point
Speaker 7: and if there is a lot of expectation around it,
Speaker 7: you know, that desire to give everything to the kids,
Speaker 7: and you know, then it can become obviously very stressful.
Speaker 7: So it's probably just, you know, what we've done over
Speaker 7: years has sort of peeled it right back to.
Speaker 5: Kind of just having some fun and you know, I know.
Speaker 7: There's always a few presents, but you know, not the
Speaker 7: big massive number that there would have been maybe when
Speaker 7: they were younger, and.
Speaker 5: And that kind of thing. So just a different approach.
Speaker 2: Well, we won't ever talk about that actually too, because
Speaker 2: there's so much. I think this is what I didn't
Speaker 2: like about Christmas was the expectation about what you're supposed
Speaker 2: to do and how much you're supposed to spend and
Speaker 2: how you because I how you avoid Christmas on the
Speaker 2: other side, being a lecture to your kids about it's
Speaker 2: all about you know, there are people who are worse
Speaker 2: off than I us, and and you lecture them into
Speaker 2: this state of mind where it's like, oh my goodness,
Speaker 2: Mum and dad, can we just have some fun and
Speaker 2: get some presents? But finding that balance and everything they
Speaker 2: want as well?
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 7: I agree, And it's and I think you just you
Speaker 7: have to walk that path, don't you, because you get
Speaker 7: to a point. I remember, you just reminded me of
Speaker 7: a point where we as a family got quite stressed
Speaker 7: out about Christmas and buying each other presents and making
Speaker 7: sure we got the right things. And this was actually
Speaker 7: before our children, and in the end we said, look,
Speaker 7: what is this about. You know, we actually just want
Speaker 7: to spend some time together because we don't really get
Speaker 7: to do that. And maybe that's where you know, you
Speaker 7: do the secret center or something different or just nothing
Speaker 7: for a little while. You know, we didn't need anything,
Speaker 7: but we just had maybe extra nice a nice bottle
Speaker 7: of wine or you know something a little great dessert
Speaker 7: that we don't normally have.
Speaker 2: The funny thing is the gift that I would have
Speaker 2: thought I never wanted, you know, the gift for dad,
Speaker 2: like socks and soap and things like that. You know what.
Speaker 2: I literally on our secrets we're doing a secret center,
Speaker 2: and I thought tim get into it because I'd normally
Speaker 2: be like, secret center, Oh go on. I literally we
Speaker 2: do it through our website, which keeps everyone anonymous, and
Speaker 2: it says put what you want, and I said, believe
Speaker 2: it or not. I actually quite like artisan soaps brilliant,
Speaker 2: which makes me sound like the most boring person on earth.
Speaker 2: But things, when you're grown up, if there's something you
Speaker 2: really need in your life, if you're lucky enough to
Speaker 2: be able to afford it, you buy it. So my
Speaker 2: wife and I are bit like that. We we bought
Speaker 2: each other or we've got a new food processor, and
Speaker 2: it's our gift to each other because it was it
Speaker 2: was you know, that's not a cheapenditure. But apart from that,
Speaker 2: just give me socks and soap.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and soap.
Speaker 7: It's like you know it's nice. You can use it
Speaker 7: in the bath or you can do it and it
Speaker 7: reminds you of when you got it and who you
Speaker 7: got it from.
Speaker 5: And the same as socks.
Speaker 7: You know, you get a pair of fun socks, you
Speaker 7: put them on, you think about your kids who gave
Speaker 7: them to you, or you get a smile from it.
Speaker 7: So it actually is also an experience and have to
Speaker 7: just be a plain old pair of socks.
Speaker 2: So the thing is I'm a bit possibly almost was
Speaker 2: a bit grunchy because my kids are like, what do
Speaker 2: we get Dad. It's like, darlings, I don't need anything,
Speaker 2: Just get me socks and soap. And they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: but you get that all the time. I can't believe
Speaker 2: that I'm requesting the most the least wanted Chris, miss item.
Speaker 5: Oh, that's helpful.
Speaker 7: You know you might have another Christmas where you decide
Speaker 7: that's something else she wants.
Speaker 2: By the way, it is quite a good I would
Speaker 2: say as a non parenting expert that it is actually
Speaker 2: a good parental thing to let your kids give you something. Actually,
Speaker 2: because doing the whole I don't need anything has got
Speaker 2: to be the most frustrating thing.
Speaker 4: Isn't it.
Speaker 2: Exactly, well you want for Christmas?
Speaker 3: Me?
Speaker 2: I don't want to not buying it for you, but
Speaker 2: come on, come on.
Speaker 5: I would like Gosh, that's actually a really good question.
Speaker 2: Well see, this is how unfocused on the self you are.
Speaker 2: You are in a state of no.
Speaker 7: I've thought, no, I know what I'd love. My kids
Speaker 7: are quite creative, and I just.
Speaker 2: Love Are they listening.
Speaker 5: Well, Sash, are you listening?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 5: I think she said she was going to, wasn't she?
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure she is.
Speaker 5: Actually I love it when.
Speaker 7: They make me things, you know, like for your birthday,
Speaker 7: if they make you a card, that's actually or they
Speaker 7: they take the time to make something for you, then
Speaker 7: that's actually really lovely. And I have boxes literally of
Speaker 7: stuff that they've made me over the years. My mum
Speaker 7: makes beautiful books as well and photos, and so they
Speaker 7: get a lot of that lovely creativity from Nana, and
Speaker 7: you know, they she makes beautiful things and you keep
Speaker 7: them and you look back on them, and so I
Speaker 7: really like that when they take that time to sort
Speaker 7: of think about what might be a nice thing to want.
Speaker 2: One If Sasha's listening now, she's going, don't give me
Speaker 2: a job to do. I have to make you something.
Speaker 2: I just want to go and buy your something. That's
Speaker 2: the thing. As a kid, it's like, just make me something. No,
Speaker 2: it sounds like homework work.
Speaker 5: Yes, you can write me a song. Sasha can.
Speaker 7: Sasha can make me something with all her beads that
Speaker 7: she already has done.
Speaker 2: I'll do some work on it in the break and
Speaker 2: we'll broadcast it. I'll broadcast it after the break. But
Speaker 2: actually under serious things, yeah, well it's not We're not
Speaker 2: gonna be too serious. Were talking about Christmas, But what
Speaker 2: role does gift giving play in your view when it
Speaker 2: comes to Christmas? And I mean, I know we've got
Speaker 2: you on as a parenting expert, but also just you
Speaker 2: reckons as a human being because I think you know,
Speaker 2: as we say, if you give your kids everything and
Speaker 2: then they need everything they want as opposed to everything
Speaker 2: they need, then I'm not sure that that's a great thing.
Speaker 2: They end up not necessarily valuing. You get the child
Speaker 2: who's been desperate for one thing and they finally get
Speaker 2: it and they treasure it as opposed to kids who
Speaker 2: are bathed in gifts are sort of like, I'm not
Speaker 2: sure if it's you know, the greatest sort of the
Speaker 2: greatest gift you're giving them by giving them too many.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and I'm not a parenting experty. Then I've got
Speaker 7: my own and I work with lots of kids and parents.
Speaker 5: But I don't know.
Speaker 7: I think that you're right. I think that giving lots
Speaker 7: and lots of stuff, And again just from what I've seen,
Speaker 7: you know, the kids, they get a whole bunch of
Speaker 7: stuff and they're bored with it in five minutes, or
Speaker 7: they're looking for the next thing, or they love the boxes.
Speaker 7: You know how many of our kids when they were
Speaker 7: younger just loved the boxes more than they love the gifts.
Speaker 5: Anyway.
Speaker 7: And there's a lot of talk about you know, experiences
Speaker 7: and giving in experience as opposed to giving a present,
Speaker 7: an actual physical present. Because I was thinking as I
Speaker 7: was driving in here, you know, some of the holidays
Speaker 7: or some of the things that I did with my
Speaker 7: mum and dad at the time I may not have
Speaker 7: necessarily wanted to do. I remember them all, you know,
Speaker 7: I remember so much of what we did as a family,
Speaker 7: whether it was you know, going to own bosi end,
Speaker 7: or whether it was going and visiting a lake somewhere
Speaker 7: and going on a high cour you know, just those
Speaker 7: sorts of things and the stories and the things that
Speaker 7: we did and the things we talked about. So and
Speaker 7: that was a long time ago for me, So I
Speaker 7: think there's a lot to be said for that not
Speaker 7: that long ago, thanks to him.
Speaker 2: Actually would love to hear from you about how do
Speaker 2: you approach Christmas and the spirit of giving without it
Speaker 2: becoming something that has a negative feeling to it, because
Speaker 2: I don't know, you're caving to the pressure of your kids,
Speaker 2: what your children would like, and maybe they've got their
Speaker 2: expectations or a bit above what your budget might allow.
Speaker 2: How do you manage that, but also how do you
Speaker 2: manage the whole materialization of Christmas without it sort of
Speaker 2: I don't know, losing the way somehow. We'd love your
Speaker 2: cause eight hundred and eighty ten eighty because actually you
Speaker 2: touched on something there come just about Christmas itself in
Speaker 2: terms of what you remember, and I do remember, I
Speaker 2: don't actually necessarily I did get some pretty cool presents.
Speaker 2: I was pretty lucky. I think my parents had an
Speaker 2: overseas holiday and they went to Hamley's and I did
Speaker 2: have a couple of cool presents I thought was so cool. Yeah,
Speaker 2: funny enough. One of my friends. Still remembers one of
Speaker 2: them because I got a frog that actually swam in
Speaker 2: the bath. Oh, I mean, I think that's about about
Speaker 2: five or six years old, and when I met him
Speaker 2: about twenty. I caught up with him about ten years later.
Speaker 2: We ended up going to secondary school together and said,
Speaker 2: I remember you, you got a frog that swam in
Speaker 2: the bath. It wasn't the height of it wasn't the
Speaker 2: height of consumerism. But actually interesting is to the things
Speaker 2: that will stick with kids though. In terms of gifts. Yeah,
Speaker 2: was there anything that you remember getting when you were
Speaker 2: a chip?
Speaker 5: Hmmm? I remember getting a Barbie.
Speaker 7: Actually, I know that's really you know, but at the
Speaker 7: time they didn't you couldn't get them in New Zealand
Speaker 7: and my auntie lived in Australia and so I think
Speaker 7: Mum and Dad got one sent over And I wasn't
Speaker 7: really a big dull girl, but it was something I
Speaker 7: really really.
Speaker 5: Getting And I know that's probably very und no.
Speaker 7: Ken as well, no, no, no, it's just Barbie.
Speaker 5: But yeah, it was always that.
Speaker 7: It was usually the things that we did, so it
Speaker 7: was the you know, having a big barbecue with all
Speaker 7: the family.
Speaker 5: I was staying in the caravan when.
Speaker 7: I was a kid at my grandparents and we always
Speaker 7: had to have the caravan, we all, you know, because
Speaker 7: it was so many of us, and we'd all get
Speaker 7: together and the but Christmas tree and granted a big center,
Speaker 7: and you know, those kinds of things. And so I
Speaker 7: can't remember what what I got, what presents I got,
Speaker 7: But you know, I just remember being there with all
Speaker 7: my cousins and the noise and the Nana's home baking,
Speaker 7: and the music and the singing, and the Christmas crackers
Speaker 7: and you know, some of the silly things. And Christmas
Speaker 7: crackers are always entertaining if you can get if you
Speaker 7: have Christmas crackers at lunch.
Speaker 2: It is funny though, when you when I when I,
Speaker 2: when you conjure up what your memories of Christmas are?
Speaker 2: And as I asked the question, I was thinking to myself,
Speaker 2: what do I remember about it? And I think it
Speaker 2: was There's about three things. One was Mum used to
Speaker 2: hide the presence up in a suitcase in a cupboard
Speaker 2: that you had to get a step ladder for, and
Speaker 2: we used to. We never used to. They've always already
Speaker 2: wrapped and we learned where they were. One of my
Speaker 2: brothers and I and we used to just because we
Speaker 2: wanted to open up to see I don't know, the
Speaker 2: wrapping paper, just to see them, because it was like, oh, there,
Speaker 2: they are separate to Santa's presence, of course. But and
Speaker 2: one day we got up and we slid open the
Speaker 2: cupboard and there was a big baggage take boldly written
Speaker 2: keep out Nosey Parker's and we almost fell off the ladder.
Speaker 2: We thought, how does she know that we know? It's
Speaker 2: not funny. That's one of my mates. And the other
Speaker 2: one was just the fact that we used to go
Speaker 2: to bed and we'd always wake up in the middle
Speaker 2: of the night and the lights would be on and
Speaker 2: the presence had magically arrived. I don't remember what was
Speaker 2: in them. I just remember it. I just remember the
Speaker 2: sparkle and the atmosphere that something magic had happened. And
Speaker 2: that's what I remember. It's so cool, and maybe that's
Speaker 2: something I need to remind us. Mind, dear kids, they
Speaker 2: probably will get a little sport just because we co
Speaker 2: aldore them, But we want to have from you on
Speaker 2: I wait, one hundred and eighty ten eighty, how do
Speaker 2: you handle the expectations around Christmas? And you know what,
Speaker 2: there are a lot of people that you know that
Speaker 2: we could get into the economics of it all, but
Speaker 2: job losses and a lot of people who are doing
Speaker 2: it tough. They're still stuck on a high mortgage rate
Speaker 2: or the cost of rent and things. And maybe you
Speaker 2: can't give you your kids the material Christmas that they need.
Speaker 2: How do you give them a Christmas that they will remember?
Speaker 2: And what's special for you? We'd love to hear your
Speaker 2: stories about it, because you know what every parent right now,
Speaker 2: I mean, as we heard from Nicole Lewis when she
Speaker 2: came here, she was like getting here because of the
Speaker 2: Christmas shopping traffic. The pressure is on.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it really is.
Speaker 2: So we like your calls. Eight hundred eighty ten and
Speaker 2: eighty text nine two nine two. And my guest is
Speaker 2: Kim Harvey. She's the founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trust,
Speaker 2: and we'll have a little bit of a chat about
Speaker 2: what that does as well, because it's always good to
Speaker 2: highlight some of the good work people are doing in
Speaker 2: the community. Eight hundred eighty ten eighty. It's twenty one
Speaker 2: and a half past five. My welcome back to the
Speaker 2: Weekend Collective. This is the Parent's squad Kim Harvey. She's
Speaker 2: a founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trusts with us,
Speaker 2: we're talking about dealing with Christmas presents, you know, to
Speaker 2: avoid teaching Look, this is the question, how do you
Speaker 2: avoid teaching your kids bad lessons about over what's the
Speaker 2: word over consumption or material you know, the over materialization
Speaker 2: of Christmas? How do you deal with that? And especially
Speaker 2: if you can't literally can't afford it anyway? Oh wait,
Speaker 2: one hundred eighty ten eighty text nine two. Let's take
Speaker 2: some calls. Margaret.
Speaker 6: Hi, Hi, I'm just thring. I'm over eighty now. And
Speaker 6: all I wanted for several years when I was a child,
Speaker 6: Birthdays and Christmas was a jack in the box.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm actually jack Jack's do you say Jackson boxes
Speaker 2: or jack in the boxes? Anyway?
Speaker 6: It was used to put them down then you open.
Speaker 2: I know what it is. I was just wondering what
Speaker 2: the plural of jack in the boxes and Jackson.
Speaker 6: Jackson boxes wasn't My own daughter was little and I
Speaker 6: was Christmas shopping for her and I found one and
Speaker 6: I had to buy it.
Speaker 2: And did she like it?
Speaker 6: Yes? But I liked it more.
Speaker 2: I think Actually I tend to think probably giving your
Speaker 2: children the gift that you want is always a bit fie.
Speaker 2: But that sounds quite funny.
Speaker 6: Actually this was years later, quite.
Speaker 2: An old fashioned gift, aren't they the old Jack in
Speaker 2: the box with kids? Yes, think of that these.
Speaker 6: Days, but but it was That's what we mass sticks
Speaker 6: in my mind.
Speaker 2: How many presents did you used to give or get
Speaker 2: at Christmas time?
Speaker 6: But I'll tell you what we always did get was
Speaker 6: an orange and a banana. Wow, at the bottom of
Speaker 6: the stocking.
Speaker 2: Is that a true oranges and bananas at bottom of stockings?
Speaker 5: When orange is enabled, you know you couldn't.
Speaker 2: Get them good stuff, good stuff, Margaret, Jack jack in
Speaker 2: the box. I don't know if you if you can
Speaker 2: buy Jack in the box these days must be somewhere anyway.
Speaker 2: You actually had some thoughts around ideas for presents and
Speaker 2: stuff like that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, well I was thinking, and I was listening to
Speaker 7: some stuff too, because I want to do something a
Speaker 7: little bit different from my kids too, because you know,
Speaker 7: at the end of the day, they probably got everything
Speaker 7: that they kind of need. But there were some really
Speaker 7: neat ideas and there were.
Speaker 2: Things like I'll just get you to keep your microphone
Speaker 2: just there so we don't slide away from it too much,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 7: One of them that I really liked for Christmas was
Speaker 7: doing a treasure hunt. So actually, and Sasha, hope you're
Speaker 7: not listening, but to do a treasure hunt, because you.
Speaker 2: Know, I think she's listening. She did actually text and say, Mum,
Speaker 2: what frequency is the radio program?
Speaker 7: So but she doesn't know what I'm going to hide
Speaker 7: or how I'm going to do it. But yeah, so
Speaker 7: I guess if you've got children old enough, they can
Speaker 7: do it too. They could do it for your presence.
Speaker 7: But it's actually giving a series of clues as to
Speaker 7: where that your present is hiding wherever you're you're having Christmas.
Speaker 5: And that's so that could be quite fun.
Speaker 7: So it actually turns the day into a bit of
Speaker 7: an event, as opposed to you get all the presents
Speaker 7: and then you're done and then you sort of, you know,
Speaker 7: sit down and eat and lie on the floor and
Speaker 7: try and play with your toys a bit or something.
Speaker 7: But you know, it could be could be quite fun
Speaker 7: to do a treasure hunt and actually make it a
Speaker 7: do some clues and go hey and then the next
Speaker 7: one needs another clue, and kind of thing.
Speaker 2: The tradition of Christmas stocking used to be that was
Speaker 2: your presence, wasn't it the Christmas stocking? For some people,
Speaker 2: that's just the in fact confession trade. That's just the
Speaker 2: entree they have, the Christmas stocking, and then then the
Speaker 2: main actor is later on. I'm not in charge of
Speaker 2: the Christmas shopping.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's right exactly. But I mean that's the thing,
Speaker 7: isn't it. You can you can do a number of
Speaker 7: presents if that's what you want to do.
Speaker 5: But if you do sort of some.
Speaker 7: DIY stuff, Like there was some little DIY kit ideas,
Speaker 7: like things like if your child likes to paint their
Speaker 7: nails or those kinds of things, you do little pampering
Speaker 7: kits or creative packs. Like I said, Sash loves doing
Speaker 7: arts and crafts, so you know, putting together a DIY
Speaker 7: pack where she can make things over the holidays is
Speaker 7: you know, is a nice thing to do as well,
Speaker 7: because it gives us something to do ongoing, not just
Speaker 7: the present real so really can create that from op
Speaker 7: shops and that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: I think it's worth remembering that. I think kids, I'm
Speaker 2: not sure how much kids can I think if kids
Speaker 2: really care about the materialization or the consumerism of Christmas,
Speaker 2: then probably that you haven't got it right in the
Speaker 2: first place. And look, I was very lucky Mummy used
Speaker 2: to Mum used to give us great Christmases. And but
Speaker 2: one of the as we've been doing this, having this conversation,
Speaker 2: I just suddenly recalled to me one of my favorite
Speaker 2: presents over got was literally what Mum did was grab
Speaker 2: get my brother's bike who he had been he had
Speaker 2: moved on to another one, and she literally repainted it.
Speaker 2: She just got and she painted it and it became
Speaker 2: my bike and that was the it was. That was
Speaker 2: the best present ever. And it was just the fact
Speaker 2: that she'd and in fact, I don't know. I think
Speaker 2: I knew that she had repainted it because I saw
Speaker 2: a bit would reflectant she painted at banana yellow or something,
Speaker 2: and I thought that was the coolest thing ever, and
Speaker 2: I knew it was secondhand. But isn't it so just
Speaker 2: highlights that kids don't really care as long as you've
Speaker 2: given putting some thought into it, and then something that's fun.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 7: And if you value people putting thought into any sort
Speaker 7: of thing that you're given, then that's also a way forward.
Speaker 5: Isn't it is.
Speaker 7: That's how we do things in our family, so it
Speaker 7: doesn't necessarily have to be bright and Johnny.
Speaker 2: And you the one about actually on somebody's responded on
Speaker 2: the text about buying your kids something that you really want,
Speaker 2: and this is one that says when I was six
Speaker 2: and my sister was four, the PlayStation two had just
Speaker 2: come out, and my dad bought it for us for Christmas.
Speaker 2: There was one game of horse riding and the other
Speaker 2: games were all fast and furious racing games. So I think, Dad,
Speaker 2: I mean, that's a win. That to me is possibly
Speaker 2: a win win.
Speaker 7: Possibly have happened in our house once or twice. Really
Speaker 7: the same sort of thing, a PlayStation. I remember that one.
Speaker 7: I remember them, but we did it the other way around.
Speaker 7: I remember it wasn't a Christmas. It was my dad's birthday,
Speaker 7: and we all it was sort of Saturday night Fever
Speaker 7: Times and we loved that record, so we bought that
Speaker 7: record and then but we also at the time we
Speaker 7: didn't have a stereo. We actually were able to buy
Speaker 7: him a stereo, but then we could all use that,
Speaker 7: so it was it was a win win. I don't
Speaker 7: know that he necessarily wanted it.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm just trying to think there's the anything
Speaker 2: i'd buy my kids which I could actually use probably
Speaker 2: the place actually, I'll be honest, I don't think there's
Speaker 2: a parent around who wouldn't dress up a PlayStation as
Speaker 2: a gift for their kids when they know that well
Speaker 2: they actually did go for the latest version of it
Speaker 2: with the highest spec And really that's for moment, I'm
Speaker 2: being sexist here, but I tend to think that the
Speaker 2: PlayStation thing is going to be more something that Dad's
Speaker 2: going to monopolize, isn't.
Speaker 7: It is it could be you can play all sorts
Speaker 7: of games on those as well, though we have old
Speaker 7: or we no no no games, I mean like active games.
Speaker 7: So we're going to talk about, you know, getting kids
Speaker 7: active over the holidays.
Speaker 5: But that's another way we used to.
Speaker 7: We play tennis, and there's golf, and there's volleyball, and
Speaker 7: there's all those sorts of things, so you know, you
Speaker 7: can kind.
Speaker 5: Of mix it up.
Speaker 7: It's not just the fast and furious games.
Speaker 2: Well that's the thing about the Christmas holidays. With something
Speaker 2: else we're going to touch on is keeping kids busy.
Speaker 2: It seems to me that with Mum and Dad both working,
Speaker 2: and just about every household these days. We're I was
Speaker 2: growing up, I think probably the number of double income
Speaker 2: households was probably quite small. But these days mum and
Speaker 2: dad both work and just finding things to keep your
Speaker 2: kids entertained and play groups and things like that. It's
Speaker 2: actually the school holidays are not as straightforward as they
Speaker 2: might have been thirty or forty years ago.
Speaker 7: I think, yeah, exactly, And that's it, isn't it, Because
Speaker 7: it's not just the expense of Christmas this day itself,
Speaker 7: but there's the there's all of those six weeks for
Speaker 7: some even longer, you know, with kids finishing earlier because
Speaker 7: of exams and things, so this actually sometimes longer.
Speaker 5: So it's you know, what are you doing?
Speaker 7: And so I guess, you know, tying in some of
Speaker 7: those things into Christmas gifting that can help to give
Speaker 7: kids things that they're going to do over the holidays
Speaker 7: is really helpful. So it's not just about that sort
Speaker 7: of one day. Actually, something I was going to just
Speaker 7: touch on with Christmas presents, but was like a coupon
Speaker 7: type thing, like a coupon book where you could write
Speaker 7: down all sorts of different ideas of things that you
Speaker 7: could give the children, but over the hot pro progression
Speaker 7: of the holidays, and they could choose something out of that,
Speaker 7: and you know, some of them might be We're going
Speaker 7: to go to the park at somewhere. There's some fabulous
Speaker 7: new playgrounds that are being created all around the country.
Speaker 7: So you know, you could be go and spend a
Speaker 7: day at a playground that does certain things, and you
Speaker 7: could have a lunch and take a picnic, and so
Speaker 7: you could create coupons for as Christmas presents. But that
Speaker 7: became the things that you then potentially did over the
Speaker 7: holidays on the days that you maybe can with the family.
Speaker 2: Actually, that's one of the things that has evolved over
Speaker 2: the past you know, decade or who is The playgrounds
Speaker 2: are so, I mean there's some amazing playgrounds around the country.
Speaker 5: There are.
Speaker 2: The one that first comes to mind for me was
Speaker 2: I don't know if it was because it was part
Speaker 2: of the consent process that the developers had to put
Speaker 2: a playground in, but in fact, I think unfortunately that
Speaker 2: there were neighbors who didn't like the flying Fox because
Speaker 2: there was too much noise and it got shut down
Speaker 2: after a while. But there was a flying fox and
Speaker 2: all sorts of swings and roundabouts, and there's some amazing playgrounds,
Speaker 2: aren't they.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there are, Yeah, I think I remember one of
Speaker 7: the first ones that was quite different was the Margaret
Speaker 7: may He Want Margaret may.
Speaker 2: He play in christ Church is fad I.
Speaker 7: Guess when they started the redevelopment of the city center
Speaker 7: and that sort of kicked things off with the water
Speaker 7: play and all of that kind of thing. And then
Speaker 7: we lived in a Viicago and they did a very
Speaker 7: similar thing in Queen's Park and the playground there, and
Speaker 7: then you know, there's this whole new regeneration around kids
Speaker 7: playing and how play helps learning and risky play and
Speaker 7: all that kind of thing. So we're seeing a huge,
Speaker 7: huge focus on redevelopment playgrounds and also multi generational play
Speaker 7: options so that you can go as a whole fam
Speaker 7: and take the picnic and basically spend a day there,
Speaker 7: you know, and everybody has the something for everyone. So
Speaker 7: some quite neat stuff being done.
Speaker 2: I think the other question is around you've just got
Speaker 2: a trun and get your kids off those devices as well,
Speaker 2: And that's yeah, I mean, that's the problem is it's
Speaker 2: the sort of path of least resistance, isn't it When
Speaker 2: when mum and dad are under stress, of course, and
Speaker 2: you really do want to avoid that, don't you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you definitely, you definitely do.
Speaker 2: Any point is what would your what are your thoughts
Speaker 2: around that? I mean, if your kids, I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't know how much, Yeah, twelve and fourteen. Yeah, how
Speaker 2: do you approach devices and things in terms of because
Speaker 2: it is it's so much easier said than done.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, my and my girls, I mean, I think when
Speaker 2: they get a little bit older as well, that yours
Speaker 2: and mine are probably at the age where they actually
Speaker 2: can be very good advocates for why they should just
Speaker 2: have that extra hour. Oh, absolutely their advice say that.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm not sure I'm winning that battle yet.
Speaker 5: No, I agree.
Speaker 7: And sometimes, you know, as you say, I work from home,
Speaker 7: and so you know often and my work time can
Speaker 7: be just if I've got an idea, then I'll have
Speaker 7: to go and work, you know, have to go and
Speaker 7: work on it, but go and work on it. So
Speaker 7: they will definitely play on that, and there are times
Speaker 7: when it just that needs to happen.
Speaker 5: So you know, we've got to be realistic about it.
Speaker 7: But I think I guess one of the things is
Speaker 7: have a plan through the holidays, and of course a
Speaker 7: plan doesn't necessarily always come together, but if you've got
Speaker 7: one where you've got some ideas around what you would
Speaker 7: do and alternatively, so what can you do at home?
Speaker 7: What are some of the easy things that you can
Speaker 7: do at home? Do you have trees at home? Do
Speaker 7: you have a driveway? Do you have a back garden?
Speaker 7: Do you have a trampoline, do you have a host?
Speaker 7: You know that you can have water fights and things?
Speaker 7: Are the things that you can do so that you
Speaker 7: could maybe set a time schedule and say every forty
Speaker 7: five minutes, we're going to stop what we're doing and
Speaker 7: we're going to go and get active. We're gonna go
Speaker 7: and move, We're going to run up and down the driveway,
Speaker 7: or we're going to skip, or we're going to go
Speaker 7: and pull some weeds out of the garden or you
Speaker 7: know those kinds of things. So have you got things
Speaker 7: at home that you can do without necessarily having to
Speaker 7: buy anything new? What about in your neighborhood? You know
Speaker 7: the places you can walk to that might be the
Speaker 7: park or the beach or the playground or something like that,
Speaker 7: so that you can, you know, and it's just setting
Speaker 7: those timers, I think to remind.
Speaker 5: All of us because we all need to.
Speaker 7: If we're working, it's really important for us to stop
Speaker 7: and take those regular breaks and move anyway so we
Speaker 7: can all benefit from it. So it's probably the plan first,
Speaker 7: and that's kind of what I'm what I'm working on
Speaker 7: for these next six ways really long.
Speaker 2: Actually, are you drawing up a plan for your I
Speaker 2: mean how organized do you try and keep it in
Speaker 2: your household?
Speaker 5: Well? I like to try to.
Speaker 7: I have probably a couple in my family who are
Speaker 7: relatively disorganized and like doing things off the cuff. They
Speaker 7: know who they are, they know who they are. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 7: the number two children and the number one children, we're
Speaker 7: all different. But yeah, So it's obviously having a plan
Speaker 7: helps you kind of at least know that you need
Speaker 7: to do these things and makes you able to make
Speaker 7: it happen, you know. And so I know it's not
Speaker 7: always going to work. But so if we sit down
Speaker 7: together as well, that's another way to do it is
Speaker 7: get them involved, if they're old enough, you know, get
Speaker 7: them involved and get them having some years of their
Speaker 7: own because it'll be favorite things that the kids would
Speaker 7: love to do, and it might be that you need
Speaker 7: a bit of budget for that. It might be I mean,
Speaker 7: Sasha loves Kelly Tarltans and that changes, you know, reasonbly regularly.
Speaker 7: Maybe we go and do that every couple of years.
Speaker 7: So that might be a big thing that we do
Speaker 7: for a day in Auckland, is that we go to
Speaker 7: Kelly Tarltan's and we say, right, we'll put some budget
Speaker 7: into that. But then you know, what are the other
Speaker 7: things that we can do around that that are you know,
Speaker 7: she wants to do more of her art. She loves shops,
Speaker 7: so we might do an op shop day where we gone,
Speaker 7: you know, hunt around and have a little.
Speaker 2: Budget, and you know, the thing that comes out is
Speaker 2: that you know, you do need to take a bit
Speaker 2: of if you can. You really do need to take
Speaker 2: time off as well. I mean the idea sure chuse,
Speaker 2: I mean there'd be parents have to work through and
Speaker 2: all that sort of stuff, and that does contain its
Speaker 2: own pressures. But really, the thing I've found during the
Speaker 2: course of the year as well as I've often tried
Speaker 2: to multitask when I'm looking after the kids. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: I'll have my laptop and i might be doing something
Speaker 2: and then before i know it, I'm that irritable parent
Speaker 2: and so I just put it away. Now, I just
Speaker 2: go right, yeah, but it's actually it's easy to do,
Speaker 2: but it's really difficult to break that habit. You just
Speaker 2: literally have to go, you know what, it'll whatever it is,
Speaker 2: it'll keep the sky won't caven.
Speaker 5: Correct, Yeah, famaus wise words.
Speaker 7: Well, I think that's the thing though, isn't it is
Speaker 7: that we need to model the behavior. And we talked
Speaker 7: about this last time we meet. We need to model
Speaker 7: the behavior that we want to see in them. So
Speaker 7: if we're saying to them, and my kids call me
Speaker 7: up on it, because I'll always be searching for ideas
Speaker 7: and different things, so I can be looking at stuff
Speaker 7: that might be related to what I do for my work,
Speaker 7: but it's still using a device. And they're quite rightly
Speaker 7: saying to me, hey, well if you on us off
Speaker 7: ours and it's not okay that you sit here with yours,
Speaker 7: and I'm like, you know what, fair cop, So we've
Speaker 7: got to you know this, And that's why I guess
Speaker 7: having a plan really helps because at least you're conscious
Speaker 7: of it. It doesn't mean you're going to stick to
Speaker 7: it one hundred percent, but it gives you some some
Speaker 7: prep first as well.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll actually explain to my kids as well, because
Speaker 2: for instance, I'm going to be working doing the Breakfast
Speaker 2: show over for a month and that means I'm going
Speaker 2: to have to keep in touch with the news. But
Speaker 2: i will say to my kids, if you see them
Speaker 2: on my phone, it's because I'm reading, and I'll show them.
Speaker 2: I'll even tell them what the websites are. I'll say, look,
Speaker 2: I'm looking at news for the next hour or so,
Speaker 2: and that's what I'm going to be doing. If you
Speaker 2: catch me playing a game, unless it's duo lingo, which
Speaker 2: is permitted, meaning another language. But yeah, look, we'd love
Speaker 2: to have your cause on that. But also the question
Speaker 2: we started the show talking about the gift giving thing,
Speaker 2: and there is there is here's one way of approaching
Speaker 2: it because there's the what's called the essentials list, something
Speaker 2: to wear, something to read, something they want, and something
Speaker 2: they need, which does sound well, that's that's still four gifts,
Speaker 2: but it's a nice starting point. Well, come back in
Speaker 2: a moment when want your calls though, how do you
Speaker 2: approach everything to do with Christmas? Managing your kids times
Speaker 2: but also their expectations around consumerism, and all that. Oh wait,
Speaker 2: one hundred eighty ten eighty, it's twenty minutes to six
Speaker 2: news talks. He'd be welcome back to the weekend collective.
Speaker 2: This is the parent Squad. I'm not sure how I
Speaker 2: rate The Little Drummer Boys as a Christmas song. My
Speaker 2: producers look at me with shocked, sort of shocked expression,
Speaker 2: But yeah, I don't know. It's one of those ones
Speaker 2: that's you. You sort of feel maybe you should play
Speaker 2: it at Christmas. But I can't think of anything less interesting.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Tyre is not very everywhere that Do you
Speaker 2: like the Little Drummer Boy as a as a song?
Speaker 2: Kim Kim Harvey.
Speaker 7: Honestly, I was an a choir when I was young,
Speaker 7: and I loved Christmas for the choir because we go
Speaker 7: around all the shopping malls and singing the shopping malls,
Speaker 7: and so I just actually loved any Christmas Carol because
Speaker 7: I just love singing it.
Speaker 5: So I'm not against.
Speaker 2: It fair enough. I think it's you know, once you've
Speaker 2: heard the first verse or two, then you've sort of yeah.
Speaker 2: Then again, if it's a good orchestration, something in the
Speaker 2: orchestra and choir and all that. I guess it's probably hard.
Speaker 5: To be What are you singing soon?
Speaker 2: I'm doing a few old heavy stuff for me, little Christmas,
Speaker 2: the Christmas song, you know. Actually, one of the non
Speaker 2: Christmas songs that I'm doing is Louis Armstrong's What I
Speaker 2: Wonderful World, because it's just such a I think that's
Speaker 2: one of my favorite songs.
Speaker 5: Real lovely wallg. Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 6: Just on the.
Speaker 2: Christmas shopping thing, have you heard of that essentials list
Speaker 2: of for your kids of something to wear, something to read,
Speaker 2: something they want, and something they need? Does? I think
Speaker 2: that's probably quite a good list for anyone.
Speaker 7: I think it's fantastic. A girlfriend of mine very different
Speaker 7: in One and Them v Cargo, she does that for
Speaker 7: her kids and she always tells me she less soft,
Speaker 7: how you know, what she's got for each of her
Speaker 7: children in those categories. And I love it because I
Speaker 7: think it also, you know, like if you are a
Speaker 7: bit stretched for a budget, it helps you give them things,
Speaker 7: you know, like you were talking about socks earlier. But
Speaker 7: you know, it's like sometimes it's actually really good to
Speaker 7: give them something they need because you're going to have
Speaker 7: to do that anyway.
Speaker 5: But you know, what I mean. So I think it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I really like it, and I love the something
Speaker 7: to read obviously, I think that's golden.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so something they want? Sorry, what is it? Here?
Speaker 2: We go? Something to wear? Tick, because there's always something
Speaker 2: you need for kids to wear. So Sasha, you're getting
Speaker 2: something to wear. I'm sure. I'm pretty pretty sure on that.
Speaker 2: You're probably going to get something to read. Sasha as well,
Speaker 2: I'm very surely. I'm sure you're going to get something
Speaker 2: you want, although that might be the one you might
Speaker 2: be a little nervous about. Now it's like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: going to give me do like it?
Speaker 5: That's what you're getting doing?
Speaker 2: No, does she want to do? I like it?
Speaker 5: I don't know. Maybe Okay, things are what I put
Speaker 5: in it.
Speaker 2: And something they need. Maybe they need a do I
Speaker 2: like it? Here's the thing though, what about what about coaching?
Speaker 2: I mean, these lessons must come earlier, but kids on
Speaker 2: disappointment because they'll have aunties and uncles and stuff, and
Speaker 2: they'll get a present and they'll be like, how to
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how you can teach kids to react
Speaker 2: gracefully at Christmas time? You need to do those lessons
Speaker 2: probably set the basis for that years before, don't you.
Speaker 7: Well, that's kind of the joy and pleasing the cruse
Speaker 7: of kids, isn't it. They're very honest and so you know,
Speaker 7: do you want them to not?
Speaker 2: What was the unwanted gift when you were when you
Speaker 2: were growing up.
Speaker 5: The soap and socks?
Speaker 2: Really, Yeah, gosh, I've come the full circle because to me,
Speaker 2: it'd be so proud after that. We used to when
Speaker 2: I grew up. There was a time back, but this
Speaker 2: is before digital cameras, when films camera films, and when
Speaker 2: you got your developing done, you got a free film.
Speaker 2: And for a while, my brothers and I used to
Speaker 2: give each other a free film and we all knew
Speaker 2: that they'd got it for nothing, and it was always
Speaker 2: and it became the Booby Prize present for years and years.
Speaker 2: You'd open something up and it'd be and if it
Speaker 2: was worse to be the black and white film, you'd
Speaker 2: be like, I don't even know how you got that.
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness, Yeah, that's the Booby Prize. Love it.
Speaker 7: But that's also isn't that a fun thing about Christmas
Speaker 7: is that you can do stuff like that too, And
Speaker 7: that's the whole kind of almost point of secret center
Speaker 7: is that it can be quite goofy and quite fun
Speaker 7: and just a bit quirky. And so I think, you
Speaker 7: know again, taking that sort of approach to Christmas giving
Speaker 7: is just a different way. It doesn't have to be
Speaker 7: something big and expensive. It can just be something really
Speaker 7: fun and you know, like some of the things that
Speaker 7: are in the crackers, they are absolutely like who got
Speaker 7: the worst thing in the cracker pack? Well, who got
Speaker 7: the worst joke? And who got the worst?
Speaker 2: If I was to take anything from this hour, it's
Speaker 2: actually the essentials list, something to wear, read, want and need. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think you've done your Christmas shopping yet.
Speaker 7: We keep it really simple, So no, I haven't yet.
Speaker 7: I've got some ideas, but you know, we just pareing.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sasha, bad luck. I haven't managed to glean anything
Speaker 2: for you. So but I hope you enjoyed listening to
Speaker 2: your mum as well. Hey, time's flying. We've got to
Speaker 2: get We've got the sports rap next. But thank you
Speaker 2: so much.
Speaker 7: It's lovely to catch you again. And hey, have a
Speaker 7: great fantastic answer this evening.
Speaker 5: Thanks us coming. It'll be lots of fun and lots
Speaker 5: of joy.
Speaker 2: Merry Christmas.
Speaker 5: Dude, Yeah, same to you.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll be back back in just a moment. Eleven
Speaker 2: and a half minutes to six.
Speaker 1: For more from the Weekend Collective, listen live to news
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