WEBVTT - Kim Harvey: Avoiding teaching your kids over-consumption at Christmas time 0:00:05.761 --> 0:00:09.441 You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News Talks. 0:00:09.441 --> 0:00:09.721 It'd be. 0:00:11.521 --> 0:00:14.601 The news had come out in the First World War, 0:00:15.401 --> 0:00:20.201 bloody rasp barn s flying once more, the Allied command 0:00:20.401 --> 0:00:24.641 ignored all of his men and calling on Snoopie to 0:00:24.801 --> 0:00:25.681 do it again. 0:00:26.361 --> 0:00:28.041 Was the night for Christmas? 0:00:28.561 --> 0:00:32.761 Fort in Bugo with Snoopy went up in search of 0:00:32.841 --> 0:00:38.401 his phone, spying Rad Baron seriously. Then bot I saw 0:00:38.561 --> 0:00:40.281 his wings and knew. 0:00:40.241 --> 0:00:44.361 It was Trastmas. 0:00:44.641 --> 0:00:55.441 Well for this Christmas, ask me so, and. 0:01:00.361 --> 0:01:02.481 I had to write to the k chain saidn't I yeah, 0:01:02.641 --> 0:01:05.001 And welcome back to the shott This is Weeking Click. 0:01:05.121 --> 0:01:07.481 I'm Tim Beverage and this is the Parent Squad and 0:01:07.681 --> 0:01:10.481 this feels like an appropriate Christmas song. And I can 0:01:10.561 --> 0:01:13.561 tell how much my producer Tira, if we could just 0:01:13.641 --> 0:01:16.201 have TV cameras on the show, we'd turn them all 0:01:16.201 --> 0:01:19.001 around and you'd see Tyra's face when she plays one 0:01:19.041 --> 0:01:22.481 of her favorite Christmas ones and she's just so happy, 0:01:23.121 --> 0:01:26.161 just the happiest person in NZ ME right now. And 0:01:26.401 --> 0:01:29.001 in fact, my guest, who I'm Vater introduced, said, this 0:01:29.041 --> 0:01:32.241 is the first time I've heard that tune because with 0:01:32.401 --> 0:01:35.161 Christmas music December. The first rolls around and you start 0:01:35.201 --> 0:01:37.081 playing a bit, but there are some that you save 0:01:37.161 --> 0:01:40.321 for closer to Christmas. And I'm not sure and it's 0:01:40.481 --> 0:01:42.601 I don't know. I think closer to Christmas, I would 0:01:42.601 --> 0:01:44.641 probably roll out Snoopy's Christmas. It's the first time I've 0:01:44.641 --> 0:01:47.121 heard it, and it goes on forever. We could pretty 0:01:47.201 --> 0:01:50.121 much just check out and we'll leave Snoopy's Christmas rolling 0:01:50.161 --> 0:01:52.241 until six o'clock. But it wouldn't be much of a 0:01:52.321 --> 0:01:57.441 parent squad and in fact, interrupting Snoopy's Christmas is She's 0:01:57.481 --> 0:02:00.121 the founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trust, and her 0:02:00.201 --> 0:02:02.321 name is Kim Harvey. Today, Kim, how are you going? 0:02:02.361 --> 0:02:03.921 I got Tim? Thanks you all Christmas? 0:02:04.121 --> 0:02:07.041 You look you look very Christmasy and summary and bright 0:02:07.081 --> 0:02:08.401 hearted and pushy tail summary. 0:02:08.641 --> 0:02:09.361 Yeah definitely. 0:02:09.361 --> 0:02:11.481 Well, actually you don't got Christmasy. To be good Christmas, 0:02:12.001 --> 0:02:14.041 you'd have to be having or something. 0:02:14.561 --> 0:02:14.801 I know. 0:02:15.241 --> 0:02:18.761 I missed the boat on that today, didn't I it's. 0:02:18.601 --> 0:02:19.761 All right with the program. 0:02:19.921 --> 0:02:21.481 Are you are you a Christmas person? 0:02:21.921 --> 0:02:23.241 I love Christmas? 0:02:23.441 --> 0:02:25.081 Did you always love Christmas? 0:02:25.201 --> 0:02:25.481 Yeah? 0:02:25.681 --> 0:02:26.921 Yeah, I always love Christmas. 0:02:26.921 --> 0:02:29.361 I love the whole ritual of putting up the Christmas tree, 0:02:29.481 --> 0:02:31.961 and I'd put the music on. And I remember, you know, 0:02:32.001 --> 0:02:33.961 as I got older and I had my own little 0:02:34.001 --> 0:02:35.801 home and that sort of thing, it was always, you know, 0:02:35.881 --> 0:02:37.841 put the music on and maybe have a little glass 0:02:37.841 --> 0:02:39.721 of bubbles, and even if I was on my own. 0:02:39.721 --> 0:02:41.481 But then, obviously, when you have kids, it's a whole 0:02:41.521 --> 0:02:44.961 nother kind of level of fun, and you know, you 0:02:45.041 --> 0:02:47.681 find different things that you do and different rituals that 0:02:47.721 --> 0:02:48.001 you have. 0:02:48.161 --> 0:02:52.481 And because I can't remember why, but I went through 0:02:52.481 --> 0:02:55.121 a period obviously as a child loved it, loved setting 0:02:55.161 --> 0:02:59.081 up the tree, artificial tree. It's wherever you're born with, 0:02:59.161 --> 0:03:01.561 doesn't it. You either have real or artificial. Used to 0:03:01.641 --> 0:03:03.961 love setting up, love the Christmas lights and all that 0:03:04.001 --> 0:03:07.281 and presents, and and then I went through a stage 0:03:07.281 --> 0:03:10.521 of I don't think I loathed Christmas, but I was 0:03:10.521 --> 0:03:15.201 incredibly indifferent to it. And then what caused that probably 0:03:15.361 --> 0:03:19.521 just I don't know. It's felt like a time where 0:03:19.521 --> 0:03:21.481 there's so much expectation to a lot of things, and 0:03:21.481 --> 0:03:25.081 I sometimes felt that Christmas, the expectations of Christmas, got 0:03:25.081 --> 0:03:28.481 in the way of people enjoying it. And I'd grown 0:03:28.521 --> 0:03:31.721 out of it, and then I had kids. You know, married, 0:03:31.721 --> 0:03:34.761 and then you have children, and my kids love Christmas 0:03:34.801 --> 0:03:37.241 so much and family and things like that that I'm 0:03:37.241 --> 0:03:39.001 back on board with it, which is just as well, 0:03:39.041 --> 0:03:41.201 because what sort of dad would I be if it's like, ah, 0:03:41.281 --> 0:03:43.801 your kids going on about Christmas? I couldn't care too 0:03:43.841 --> 0:03:48.041 hurts about it? She kind of no, see, But I 0:03:48.081 --> 0:03:51.521 think I think people who who are grinches in a way, 0:03:51.641 --> 0:03:54.521 it's just that just need a doorway back into loving 0:03:54.561 --> 0:03:56.401 it again. It's not actually necessarily their fault. 0:03:56.601 --> 0:03:58.481 No, of course, no, not at all. 0:03:58.521 --> 0:04:00.521 And there are all sorts of different reasons why, as 0:04:00.521 --> 0:04:02.641 you just said, why people you get to that point 0:04:02.681 --> 0:04:04.921 and if there is a lot of expectation around it, 0:04:05.241 --> 0:04:07.721 you know, that desire to give everything to the kids, 0:04:07.761 --> 0:04:10.601 and you know, then it can become obviously very stressful. 0:04:10.681 --> 0:04:12.841 So it's probably just, you know, what we've done over 0:04:12.961 --> 0:04:14.761 years has sort of peeled it right back to. 0:04:14.921 --> 0:04:19.081 Kind of just having some fun and you know, I know. 0:04:22.601 --> 0:04:25.081 There's always a few presents, but you know, not the 0:04:25.201 --> 0:04:28.121 big massive number that there would have been maybe when 0:04:28.121 --> 0:04:28.881 they were younger, and. 0:04:29.281 --> 0:04:31.481 And that kind of thing. So just a different approach. 0:04:31.601 --> 0:04:34.161 Well, we won't ever talk about that actually too, because 0:04:34.561 --> 0:04:38.001 there's so much. I think this is what I didn't 0:04:38.081 --> 0:04:41.201 like about Christmas was the expectation about what you're supposed 0:04:41.241 --> 0:04:43.401 to do and how much you're supposed to spend and 0:04:44.441 --> 0:04:50.601 how you because I how you avoid Christmas on the 0:04:50.641 --> 0:04:53.321 other side, being a lecture to your kids about it's 0:04:53.361 --> 0:04:54.801 all about you know, there are people who are worse 0:04:54.801 --> 0:04:57.881 off than I us, and and you lecture them into 0:04:57.921 --> 0:04:59.801 this state of mind where it's like, oh my goodness, 0:04:59.881 --> 0:05:01.361 Mum and dad, can we just have some fun and 0:05:01.441 --> 0:05:05.801 get some presents? But finding that balance and everything they 0:05:05.841 --> 0:05:06.521 want as well? 0:05:07.521 --> 0:05:08.401 Yeah, no, I agree. 0:05:08.481 --> 0:05:10.801 I agree, And it's and I think you just you 0:05:10.841 --> 0:05:13.161 have to walk that path, don't you, because you get 0:05:13.161 --> 0:05:15.481 to a point. I remember, you just reminded me of 0:05:15.481 --> 0:05:18.001 a point where we as a family got quite stressed 0:05:18.001 --> 0:05:20.081 out about Christmas and buying each other presents and making 0:05:20.081 --> 0:05:21.841 sure we got the right things. And this was actually 0:05:21.881 --> 0:05:24.201 before our children, and in the end we said, look, 0:05:24.361 --> 0:05:26.521 what is this about. You know, we actually just want 0:05:26.521 --> 0:05:28.281 to spend some time together because we don't really get 0:05:28.321 --> 0:05:30.321 to do that. And maybe that's where you know, you 0:05:30.361 --> 0:05:33.521 do the secret center or something different or just nothing 0:05:33.561 --> 0:05:35.521 for a little while. You know, we didn't need anything, 0:05:35.561 --> 0:05:38.161 but we just had maybe extra nice a nice bottle 0:05:38.161 --> 0:05:40.761 of wine or you know something a little great dessert 0:05:40.801 --> 0:05:41.961 that we don't normally have. 0:05:42.321 --> 0:05:44.921 The funny thing is the gift that I would have 0:05:44.961 --> 0:05:47.641 thought I never wanted, you know, the gift for dad, 0:05:48.401 --> 0:05:51.961 like socks and soap and things like that. You know what. 0:05:52.401 --> 0:05:55.001 I literally on our secrets we're doing a secret center, 0:05:55.041 --> 0:05:57.081 and I thought tim get into it because I'd normally 0:05:57.081 --> 0:06:01.121 be like, secret center, Oh go on. I literally we 0:06:01.201 --> 0:06:04.201 do it through our website, which keeps everyone anonymous, and 0:06:04.201 --> 0:06:06.041 it says put what you want, and I said, believe 0:06:06.041 --> 0:06:09.961 it or not. I actually quite like artisan soaps brilliant, 0:06:10.001 --> 0:06:11.921 which makes me sound like the most boring person on earth. 0:06:11.961 --> 0:06:14.441 But things, when you're grown up, if there's something you 0:06:14.521 --> 0:06:16.961 really need in your life, if you're lucky enough to 0:06:17.361 --> 0:06:19.721 be able to afford it, you buy it. So my 0:06:19.761 --> 0:06:21.641 wife and I are bit like that. We we bought 0:06:21.681 --> 0:06:24.681 each other or we've got a new food processor, and 0:06:24.721 --> 0:06:27.041 it's our gift to each other because it was it 0:06:27.081 --> 0:06:30.241 was you know, that's not a cheapenditure. But apart from that, 0:06:30.281 --> 0:06:31.281 just give me socks and soap. 0:06:31.441 --> 0:06:33.841 Yeah, and soap. 0:06:33.921 --> 0:06:36.441 It's like you know it's nice. You can use it 0:06:36.481 --> 0:06:37.641 in the bath or you can do it and it 0:06:37.681 --> 0:06:39.521 reminds you of when you got it and who you 0:06:39.561 --> 0:06:40.081 got it from. 0:06:40.121 --> 0:06:41.121 And the same as socks. 0:06:41.161 --> 0:06:42.521 You know, you get a pair of fun socks, you 0:06:42.521 --> 0:06:44.241 put them on, you think about your kids who gave 0:06:44.281 --> 0:06:46.001 them to you, or you get a smile from it. 0:06:46.041 --> 0:06:48.841 So it actually is also an experience and have to 0:06:48.881 --> 0:06:50.401 just be a plain old pair of socks. 0:06:50.481 --> 0:06:52.721 So the thing is I'm a bit possibly almost was 0:06:52.761 --> 0:06:54.161 a bit grunchy because my kids are like, what do 0:06:54.201 --> 0:06:56.281 we get Dad. It's like, darlings, I don't need anything, 0:06:56.761 --> 0:06:58.761 Just get me socks and soap. And they're like, oh, 0:06:58.961 --> 0:07:01.441 but you get that all the time. I can't believe 0:07:01.481 --> 0:07:05.681 that I'm requesting the most the least wanted Chris, miss item. 0:07:06.401 --> 0:07:08.001 Oh, that's helpful. 0:07:08.081 --> 0:07:10.321 You know you might have another Christmas where you decide 0:07:10.361 --> 0:07:11.441 that's something else she wants. 0:07:11.521 --> 0:07:13.161 By the way, it is quite a good I would 0:07:13.161 --> 0:07:15.721 say as a non parenting expert that it is actually 0:07:16.041 --> 0:07:20.081 a good parental thing to let your kids give you something. Actually, 0:07:20.121 --> 0:07:22.681 because doing the whole I don't need anything has got 0:07:22.721 --> 0:07:24.361 to be the most frustrating thing. 0:07:24.281 --> 0:07:24.601 Isn't it. 0:07:25.041 --> 0:07:26.761 Exactly, well you want for Christmas? 0:07:27.081 --> 0:07:27.161 Me? 0:07:27.401 --> 0:07:28.761 I don't want to not buying it for you, but 0:07:29.641 --> 0:07:31.521 come on, come on. 0:07:32.721 --> 0:07:35.241 I would like Gosh, that's actually a really good question. 0:07:36.441 --> 0:07:39.561 Well see, this is how unfocused on the self you are. 0:07:39.641 --> 0:07:40.961 You are in a state of no. 0:07:41.801 --> 0:07:44.161 I've thought, no, I know what I'd love. My kids 0:07:44.161 --> 0:07:45.761 are quite creative, and I just. 0:07:46.121 --> 0:07:48.521 Love Are they listening. 0:07:48.361 --> 0:07:49.521 Well, Sash, are you listening? 0:07:49.601 --> 0:07:49.761 Yes? 0:07:49.841 --> 0:07:51.721 I think she said she was going to, wasn't she? 0:07:51.801 --> 0:07:52.721 I'm pretty sure she is. 0:07:52.761 --> 0:07:53.601 Actually I love it when. 0:07:53.521 --> 0:07:55.241 They make me things, you know, like for your birthday, 0:07:55.281 --> 0:07:57.161 if they make you a card, that's actually or they 0:07:57.441 --> 0:07:59.441 they take the time to make something for you, then 0:07:59.681 --> 0:08:02.281 that's actually really lovely. And I have boxes literally of 0:08:02.401 --> 0:08:04.801 stuff that they've made me over the years. My mum 0:08:04.841 --> 0:08:07.241 makes beautiful books as well and photos, and so they 0:08:07.281 --> 0:08:09.361 get a lot of that lovely creativity from Nana, and 0:08:09.681 --> 0:08:12.801 you know, they she makes beautiful things and you keep 0:08:12.841 --> 0:08:14.601 them and you look back on them, and so I 0:08:14.641 --> 0:08:16.481 really like that when they take that time to sort 0:08:16.481 --> 0:08:18.561 of think about what might be a nice thing to want. 0:08:18.961 --> 0:08:21.201 One If Sasha's listening now, she's going, don't give me 0:08:21.201 --> 0:08:22.681 a job to do. I have to make you something. 0:08:22.841 --> 0:08:25.361 I just want to go and buy your something. That's 0:08:25.401 --> 0:08:29.721 the thing. As a kid, it's like, just make me something. No, 0:08:29.801 --> 0:08:32.081 it sounds like homework work. 0:08:32.281 --> 0:08:36.401 Yes, you can write me a song. Sasha can. 0:08:36.881 --> 0:08:38.841 Sasha can make me something with all her beads that 0:08:38.881 --> 0:08:39.801 she already has done. 0:08:39.961 --> 0:08:41.761 I'll do some work on it in the break and 0:08:41.801 --> 0:08:44.601 we'll broadcast it. I'll broadcast it after the break. But 0:08:44.681 --> 0:08:48.481 actually under serious things, yeah, well it's not We're not 0:08:48.481 --> 0:08:52.681 gonna be too serious. Were talking about Christmas, But what 0:08:52.801 --> 0:08:56.041 role does gift giving play in your view when it 0:08:56.041 --> 0:08:58.081 comes to Christmas? And I mean, I know we've got 0:08:58.081 --> 0:09:00.041 you on as a parenting expert, but also just you 0:09:00.121 --> 0:09:03.121 reckons as a human being because I think you know, 0:09:03.161 --> 0:09:04.721 as we say, if you give your kids everything and 0:09:04.721 --> 0:09:08.081 then they need everything they want as opposed to everything 0:09:08.161 --> 0:09:10.881 they need, then I'm not sure that that's a great thing. 0:09:10.961 --> 0:09:14.241 They end up not necessarily valuing. You get the child 0:09:14.281 --> 0:09:17.321 who's been desperate for one thing and they finally get 0:09:17.361 --> 0:09:19.481 it and they treasure it as opposed to kids who 0:09:19.481 --> 0:09:22.361 are bathed in gifts are sort of like, I'm not 0:09:22.401 --> 0:09:25.801 sure if it's you know, the greatest sort of the 0:09:25.841 --> 0:09:28.081 greatest gift you're giving them by giving them too many. 0:09:28.321 --> 0:09:30.641 Yeah, and I'm not a parenting experty. Then I've got 0:09:30.681 --> 0:09:33.241 my own and I work with lots of kids and parents. 0:09:33.241 --> 0:09:34.601 But I don't know. 0:09:34.681 --> 0:09:37.001 I think that you're right. I think that giving lots 0:09:37.041 --> 0:09:38.961 and lots of stuff, And again just from what I've seen, 0:09:39.001 --> 0:09:40.681 you know, the kids, they get a whole bunch of 0:09:40.681 --> 0:09:43.001 stuff and they're bored with it in five minutes, or 0:09:43.041 --> 0:09:45.361 they're looking for the next thing, or they love the boxes. 0:09:45.361 --> 0:09:46.681 You know how many of our kids when they were 0:09:46.681 --> 0:09:48.681 younger just loved the boxes more than they love the gifts. 0:09:48.681 --> 0:09:49.081 Anyway. 0:09:49.761 --> 0:09:51.761 And there's a lot of talk about you know, experiences 0:09:51.801 --> 0:09:55.281 and giving in experience as opposed to giving a present, 0:09:55.361 --> 0:09:58.281 an actual physical present. Because I was thinking as I 0:09:58.281 --> 0:10:00.321 was driving in here, you know, some of the holidays 0:10:00.361 --> 0:10:01.761 or some of the things that I did with my 0:10:01.801 --> 0:10:03.201 mum and dad at the time I may not have 0:10:03.281 --> 0:10:06.681 necessarily wanted to do. I remember them all, you know, 0:10:06.721 --> 0:10:08.881 I remember so much of what we did as a family, 0:10:09.721 --> 0:10:12.361 whether it was you know, going to own bosi end, 0:10:12.401 --> 0:10:15.001 or whether it was going and visiting a lake somewhere 0:10:15.041 --> 0:10:17.081 and going on a high cour you know, just those 0:10:17.081 --> 0:10:18.721 sorts of things and the stories and the things that 0:10:18.761 --> 0:10:20.801 we did and the things we talked about. So and 0:10:20.841 --> 0:10:22.801 that was a long time ago for me, So I 0:10:22.801 --> 0:10:24.681 think there's a lot to be said for that not 0:10:24.761 --> 0:10:27.241 that long ago, thanks to him. 0:10:27.441 --> 0:10:29.601 Actually would love to hear from you about how do 0:10:29.641 --> 0:10:33.601 you approach Christmas and the spirit of giving without it 0:10:33.641 --> 0:10:36.481 becoming something that has a negative feeling to it, because 0:10:36.721 --> 0:10:39.321 I don't know, you're caving to the pressure of your kids, 0:10:40.081 --> 0:10:42.241 what your children would like, and maybe they've got their 0:10:42.321 --> 0:10:45.081 expectations or a bit above what your budget might allow. 0:10:45.201 --> 0:10:47.561 How do you manage that, but also how do you 0:10:47.601 --> 0:10:53.521 manage the whole materialization of Christmas without it sort of 0:10:53.881 --> 0:10:55.921 I don't know, losing the way somehow. We'd love your 0:10:55.961 --> 0:10:58.321 cause eight hundred and eighty ten eighty because actually you 0:10:58.361 --> 0:11:01.681 touched on something there come just about Christmas itself in 0:11:01.761 --> 0:11:05.201 terms of what you remember, and I do remember, I 0:11:05.241 --> 0:11:07.641 don't actually necessarily I did get some pretty cool presents. 0:11:07.681 --> 0:11:09.281 I was pretty lucky. I think my parents had an 0:11:09.321 --> 0:11:12.161 overseas holiday and they went to Hamley's and I did 0:11:12.201 --> 0:11:15.881 have a couple of cool presents I thought was so cool. Yeah, 0:11:16.441 --> 0:11:18.841 funny enough. One of my friends. Still remembers one of 0:11:18.841 --> 0:11:21.081 them because I got a frog that actually swam in 0:11:21.121 --> 0:11:23.641 the bath. Oh, I mean, I think that's about about 0:11:23.641 --> 0:11:25.401 five or six years old, and when I met him 0:11:25.441 --> 0:11:28.241 about twenty. I caught up with him about ten years later. 0:11:28.281 --> 0:11:30.241 We ended up going to secondary school together and said, 0:11:30.241 --> 0:11:32.441 I remember you, you got a frog that swam in 0:11:32.481 --> 0:11:34.801 the bath. It wasn't the height of it wasn't the 0:11:34.801 --> 0:11:40.121 height of consumerism. But actually interesting is to the things 0:11:40.121 --> 0:11:43.001 that will stick with kids though. In terms of gifts. Yeah, 0:11:43.321 --> 0:11:44.881 was there anything that you remember getting when you were 0:11:45.081 --> 0:11:45.481 a chip? 0:11:46.281 --> 0:11:49.041 Hmmm? I remember getting a Barbie. 0:11:49.081 --> 0:11:51.721 Actually, I know that's really you know, but at the 0:11:51.761 --> 0:11:53.961 time they didn't you couldn't get them in New Zealand 0:11:54.041 --> 0:11:56.281 and my auntie lived in Australia and so I think 0:11:56.361 --> 0:11:58.641 Mum and Dad got one sent over And I wasn't 0:11:58.681 --> 0:12:00.961 really a big dull girl, but it was something I 0:12:01.001 --> 0:12:02.201 really really. 0:12:01.961 --> 0:12:04.441 Getting And I know that's probably very und no. 0:12:08.201 --> 0:12:12.041 Ken as well, no, no, no, it's just Barbie. 0:12:12.201 --> 0:12:13.081 But yeah, it was always that. 0:12:13.321 --> 0:12:15.001 It was usually the things that we did, so it 0:12:15.121 --> 0:12:17.761 was the you know, having a big barbecue with all 0:12:17.801 --> 0:12:18.241 the family. 0:12:18.281 --> 0:12:19.721 I was staying in the caravan when. 0:12:19.641 --> 0:12:21.601 I was a kid at my grandparents and we always 0:12:21.601 --> 0:12:23.401 had to have the caravan, we all, you know, because 0:12:23.401 --> 0:12:25.121 it was so many of us, and we'd all get 0:12:25.161 --> 0:12:27.841 together and the but Christmas tree and granted a big center, 0:12:27.961 --> 0:12:29.801 and you know, those kinds of things. And so I 0:12:29.801 --> 0:12:32.081 can't remember what what I got, what presents I got, 0:12:32.121 --> 0:12:34.041 But you know, I just remember being there with all 0:12:34.081 --> 0:12:37.761 my cousins and the noise and the Nana's home baking, 0:12:37.881 --> 0:12:41.241 and the music and the singing, and the Christmas crackers 0:12:41.281 --> 0:12:43.241 and you know, some of the silly things. And Christmas 0:12:43.281 --> 0:12:46.241 crackers are always entertaining if you can get if you 0:12:46.281 --> 0:12:47.961 have Christmas crackers at lunch. 0:12:48.441 --> 0:12:51.481 It is funny though, when you when I when I, 0:12:51.521 --> 0:12:54.041 when you conjure up what your memories of Christmas are? 0:12:54.201 --> 0:12:56.761 And as I asked the question, I was thinking to myself, 0:12:56.801 --> 0:12:58.841 what do I remember about it? And I think it 0:12:58.961 --> 0:13:02.521 was There's about three things. One was Mum used to 0:13:02.561 --> 0:13:06.801 hide the presence up in a suitcase in a cupboard 0:13:06.881 --> 0:13:08.961 that you had to get a step ladder for, and 0:13:09.041 --> 0:13:11.281 we used to. We never used to. They've always already 0:13:11.281 --> 0:13:14.361 wrapped and we learned where they were. One of my 0:13:14.401 --> 0:13:17.321 brothers and I and we used to just because we 0:13:17.361 --> 0:13:19.801 wanted to open up to see I don't know, the 0:13:19.801 --> 0:13:22.521 wrapping paper, just to see them, because it was like, oh, there, 0:13:22.561 --> 0:13:27.761 they are separate to Santa's presence, of course. But and 0:13:27.841 --> 0:13:30.241 one day we got up and we slid open the 0:13:30.281 --> 0:13:33.721 cupboard and there was a big baggage take boldly written 0:13:33.921 --> 0:13:36.201 keep out Nosey Parker's and we almost fell off the ladder. 0:13:36.201 --> 0:13:38.641 We thought, how does she know that we know? It's 0:13:38.641 --> 0:13:40.121 not funny. That's one of my mates. And the other 0:13:40.201 --> 0:13:41.961 one was just the fact that we used to go 0:13:42.041 --> 0:13:44.081 to bed and we'd always wake up in the middle 0:13:44.081 --> 0:13:45.641 of the night and the lights would be on and 0:13:45.881 --> 0:13:48.601 the presence had magically arrived. I don't remember what was 0:13:48.601 --> 0:13:50.401 in them. I just remember it. I just remember the 0:13:51.041 --> 0:13:55.401 sparkle and the atmosphere that something magic had happened. And 0:13:55.441 --> 0:13:57.681 that's what I remember. It's so cool, and maybe that's 0:13:57.681 --> 0:13:59.561 something I need to remind us. Mind, dear kids, they 0:13:59.561 --> 0:14:01.121 probably will get a little sport just because we co 0:14:01.121 --> 0:14:02.801 aldore them, But we want to have from you on 0:14:03.241 --> 0:14:05.401 I wait, one hundred and eighty ten eighty, how do 0:14:05.481 --> 0:14:08.321 you handle the expectations around Christmas? And you know what, 0:14:08.601 --> 0:14:11.801 there are a lot of people that you know that 0:14:12.121 --> 0:14:13.721 we could get into the economics of it all, but 0:14:13.841 --> 0:14:15.641 job losses and a lot of people who are doing 0:14:15.681 --> 0:14:18.641 it tough. They're still stuck on a high mortgage rate 0:14:18.761 --> 0:14:20.401 or the cost of rent and things. And maybe you 0:14:20.401 --> 0:14:25.361 can't give you your kids the material Christmas that they need. 0:14:25.801 --> 0:14:27.721 How do you give them a Christmas that they will remember? 0:14:27.721 --> 0:14:29.241 And what's special for you? We'd love to hear your 0:14:29.281 --> 0:14:31.841 stories about it, because you know what every parent right now, 0:14:32.161 --> 0:14:34.481 I mean, as we heard from Nicole Lewis when she 0:14:34.521 --> 0:14:36.001 came here, she was like getting here because of the 0:14:36.081 --> 0:14:38.521 Christmas shopping traffic. The pressure is on. 0:14:38.721 --> 0:14:39.441 Yeah, it really is. 0:14:39.601 --> 0:14:41.401 So we like your calls. Eight hundred eighty ten and 0:14:41.441 --> 0:14:44.801 eighty text nine two nine two. And my guest is 0:14:44.841 --> 0:14:48.201 Kim Harvey. She's the founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trust, 0:14:48.201 --> 0:14:49.521 and we'll have a little bit of a chat about 0:14:49.521 --> 0:14:51.081 what that does as well, because it's always good to 0:14:51.721 --> 0:14:53.361 highlight some of the good work people are doing in 0:14:53.401 --> 0:14:55.681 the community. Eight hundred eighty ten eighty. It's twenty one 0:14:55.681 --> 0:15:19.201 and a half past five. My welcome back to the 0:15:19.241 --> 0:15:22.041 Weekend Collective. This is the Parent's squad Kim Harvey. She's 0:15:22.041 --> 0:15:24.081 a founder of Young and Healthy Charitable Trusts with us, 0:15:24.081 --> 0:15:27.001 we're talking about dealing with Christmas presents, you know, to 0:15:27.121 --> 0:15:31.001 avoid teaching Look, this is the question, how do you 0:15:31.041 --> 0:15:35.601 avoid teaching your kids bad lessons about over what's the 0:15:35.601 --> 0:15:39.641 word over consumption or material you know, the over materialization 0:15:39.721 --> 0:15:42.321 of Christmas? How do you deal with that? And especially 0:15:42.321 --> 0:15:44.401 if you can't literally can't afford it anyway? Oh wait, 0:15:44.401 --> 0:15:47.081 one hundred eighty ten eighty text nine two. Let's take 0:15:47.081 --> 0:15:48.481 some calls. Margaret. 0:15:48.561 --> 0:15:52.561 Hi, Hi, I'm just thring. I'm over eighty now. And 0:15:52.681 --> 0:15:55.441 all I wanted for several years when I was a child, 0:15:56.001 --> 0:15:58.361 Birthdays and Christmas was a jack in the box. 0:16:00.241 --> 0:16:03.841 Well, I'm actually jack Jack's do you say Jackson boxes 0:16:03.961 --> 0:16:05.921 or jack in the boxes? Anyway? 0:16:06.921 --> 0:16:10.481 It was used to put them down then you open. 0:16:11.321 --> 0:16:12.601 I know what it is. I was just wondering what 0:16:12.681 --> 0:16:15.001 the plural of jack in the boxes and Jackson. 0:16:14.681 --> 0:16:18.601 Jackson boxes wasn't My own daughter was little and I 0:16:18.681 --> 0:16:24.081 was Christmas shopping for her and I found one and 0:16:24.161 --> 0:16:25.041 I had to buy it. 0:16:26.681 --> 0:16:28.321 And did she like it? 0:16:28.961 --> 0:16:30.201 Yes? But I liked it more. 0:16:30.281 --> 0:16:33.921 I think Actually I tend to think probably giving your 0:16:33.961 --> 0:16:36.521 children the gift that you want is always a bit fie. 0:16:36.561 --> 0:16:37.761 But that sounds quite funny. 0:16:37.961 --> 0:16:41.841 Actually this was years later, quite. 0:16:41.681 --> 0:16:43.481 An old fashioned gift, aren't they the old Jack in 0:16:43.521 --> 0:16:46.041 the box with kids? Yes, think of that these. 0:16:46.001 --> 0:16:51.401 Days, but but it was That's what we mass sticks 0:16:51.441 --> 0:16:52.161 in my mind. 0:16:52.401 --> 0:16:54.401 How many presents did you used to give or get 0:16:54.481 --> 0:16:55.241 at Christmas time? 0:16:56.321 --> 0:16:58.841 But I'll tell you what we always did get was 0:16:58.921 --> 0:17:02.721 an orange and a banana. Wow, at the bottom of 0:17:02.681 --> 0:17:03.401 the stocking. 0:17:04.561 --> 0:17:07.761 Is that a true oranges and bananas at bottom of stockings? 0:17:07.801 --> 0:17:10.401 When orange is enabled, you know you couldn't. 0:17:10.041 --> 0:17:13.401 Get them good stuff, good stuff, Margaret, Jack jack in 0:17:13.401 --> 0:17:14.601 the box. I don't know if you if you can 0:17:14.641 --> 0:17:17.441 buy Jack in the box these days must be somewhere anyway. 0:17:18.921 --> 0:17:22.321 You actually had some thoughts around ideas for presents and 0:17:22.361 --> 0:17:23.081 stuff like that. 0:17:23.281 --> 0:17:25.121 Yeah, well I was thinking, and I was listening to 0:17:25.161 --> 0:17:27.281 some stuff too, because I want to do something a 0:17:27.281 --> 0:17:29.441 little bit different from my kids too, because you know, 0:17:29.481 --> 0:17:31.041 at the end of the day, they probably got everything 0:17:31.041 --> 0:17:33.761 that they kind of need. But there were some really 0:17:33.801 --> 0:17:35.041 neat ideas and there were. 0:17:34.961 --> 0:17:37.481 Things like I'll just get you to keep your microphone 0:17:37.481 --> 0:17:39.121 just there so we don't slide away from it too much, 0:17:39.161 --> 0:17:39.481 all right. 0:17:40.201 --> 0:17:42.081