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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Saturday Morning with Jack team podcast

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Speaker 1: from News Talks, that'd be time.

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Speaker 2: To catch up with our clinical psychologist, Google Sutherland is

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Speaker 2: here this morning and tackling a very interesting issue indeed,

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Speaker 2: the long term effects of every day stresses. So these

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Speaker 2: are not the acute, big one off stresses you have

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Speaker 2: in life. This is the accumulation of the stuff that

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Speaker 2: you're dealing with every day.

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Speaker 3: Kilder, Google Cyder Jack. Yes, indeed, it's often those that

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Speaker 3: sort of building up of the small, everyday things that

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Speaker 3: has that sort of slow impact on our health rather

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Speaker 3: than necessarily those huge, huge, big things. And actually this

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Speaker 3: was sparked by a survey from trade me that showed

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Speaker 3: that I think it was over eighty percent of people

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Speaker 3: found the process of buying a new house super stressful,

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Speaker 3: which mirrors a lot of sort of psychology research which

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Speaker 3: says everyday stresses like buying a house, getting married, and

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Speaker 3: public speaking are some of the most stressful events people

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Speaker 3: talk about in there in there in their everyday lives.

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Speaker 3: And if you remember last time we were talking, we

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Speaker 3: talked about how to live to be one hundred and

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Speaker 3: one of those things was managing stress. And so maybe

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Speaker 3: if you can manage it everyday stress, you might you

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Speaker 3: might even live a little bit longer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's interesting because I don't know, like I I

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Speaker 2: feel like I have a stressful job I have, you know,

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Speaker 2: I have a stressful career, and there are lots of

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Speaker 2: stresses that come with the job and the kind of

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Speaker 2: you know, regular slash semi regular stresses that I have.

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Speaker 2: I often get stressed about what kind of what kind

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Speaker 2: of impact there might be having on my health. But

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Speaker 2: really it's like it can be any situation, right that

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Speaker 2: is there's kind of new or or you know, ambiguous,

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Speaker 2: we you're feeling outside of your comfort zone, that can

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Speaker 2: contribute to an everyday stress.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, those three things that you've just named there,

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Speaker 3: that sort of newness or novelness, the ambiguity and unpredictability

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Speaker 3: of a situation that those are really the key ingredients

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Speaker 3: for us as as humans to expect variance stress. And

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Speaker 3: that can be you know, anything that crops up, you know,

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Speaker 3: for you know, getting into a relationship and new relationships

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Speaker 3: like well, that's new and ambiguous. I don't know how

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Speaker 3: this person's going to react, and I can't really control

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Speaker 3: it or not completely control it. Anyway. So, yeah, any

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Speaker 3: any time where you have those three ingredients ambiguity, newness,

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Speaker 3: and uncontrollability, it's it does result or it's the recipe

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Speaker 3: for stress for us to feel stressed.

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Speaker 2: And so using the circles of control model can be

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Speaker 2: a good way to try and manage it. Just to

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Speaker 2: explain to us, what what is the circles of control model?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well a lot of people are familiar with it

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Speaker 3: when I talk to people that there. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm kind of familiar with that. So if you imagine

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Speaker 3: a sort of a three circles, almost like a dart

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Speaker 3: bought that sort of shape, and the outside circle is

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Speaker 3: things of concern. Those are things that you that that

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Speaker 3: that might worry you but you have no kind of

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Speaker 3: control over at Also, that's the outside circles. The next circle,

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Speaker 3: in the middle circle is things that you can influence,

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Speaker 3: and then the middle circle is things that are completely

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Speaker 3: in your control. And arguably you could split any situation

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Speaker 3: up into those using those three circles. And the idea

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Speaker 3: being that if you can focus yourself on the things

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Speaker 3: that you can firstly control and also those things that

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Speaker 3: you can influence, it gives you a bit of a

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Speaker 3: game plan to get active and to do something rather

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Speaker 3: than focusing on the things that are of concern, which

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Speaker 3: was a completely understandable that you're concerned about them. It's

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Speaker 3: sort of a waste of mental energy to be focused

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Speaker 3: on them because you can't really do anything about them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, that makes sense. Okay, So to go back

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Speaker 2: to the survey you do with trade me for people

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Speaker 2: buying houses and finding it stressful, can you apply that

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Speaker 2: model to housing into the post of buying a house,

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Speaker 2: then what you can get on et cetera.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, So things have concerned that's the outside circle, that's

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Speaker 3: the house market and other buyers like you've got You've

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Speaker 3: got no control or even influence on who else is

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Speaker 3: looking for a house or what houses are out here.

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Speaker 3: So so actually, don't worry too much about that, right.

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Speaker 3: Things you can influence, well, you can influence the seller's

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Speaker 3: decision when you put in you know, you can put

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Speaker 3: in a good offer, you can write a nice letter,

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Speaker 3: you can influence somewhat the mortgage rate that you get.

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Speaker 3: You can shop around between banks and get a better

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Speaker 3: get a better mortgage rate. And then the things that

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Speaker 3: you can control those are your budget, where you look,

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Speaker 3: you know, your preparation. So those are all completely under

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Speaker 3: your control. So if you if you if you're in

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Speaker 3: that in the active buying a house, think about you know,

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Speaker 3: even I often say to people, do what we call

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Speaker 3: is prescribed worry time. So so take twenty or thirty

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Speaker 3: minutes about the thing that to really focus on the

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Speaker 3: thing you worry about and draw out those circles of control. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and see how you can apply and we just apply

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Speaker 3: them to that to buying a house, but you could

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Speaker 3: do that for any any kind of situation really, and

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Speaker 3: it does give you a bit of an action plan.

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Speaker 3: And once you've got an action plan, it can help

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Speaker 3: reduce your anxiety or stress somewhat because you feel like

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Speaker 3: you've got a bit more control and you're a bit

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Speaker 3: more things are a bit more predictable, so it dials

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Speaker 3: down your stress amitter a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know there are things you can do

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Speaker 2: obvious things, so you could use a bit of technology

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Speaker 2: that kind of thing wherever possible so that you're not

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Speaker 2: always checking stuff that you can try and set up

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Speaker 2: alerts and that kind of thing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. And and just going back to

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Speaker 3: the trade me idea, they you know, They've got a

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Speaker 3: nice little filter there on their search engine around houses,

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Speaker 3: so it keeps you sort of focused on the price

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Speaker 3: range and the areas that you want to focus on.

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Speaker 3: Because I don't know about you, but I can remember,

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Speaker 3: you know, last time we bought a house. If you

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Speaker 3: miss out something that's like, oh my god, yeah, we've

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Speaker 3: got a quick but by that one, it's like we're

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Speaker 3: going to We're not going to live in haste things.

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Speaker 3: There's nothing wrong with it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Wellington House will sell there quick quick quick community. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: yeah it would be, but you do get a bit panicky.

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Speaker 4: So having those sort of any sort of tech that

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Speaker 4: you can use just can help you sort of folks

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Speaker 4: stay focused and not sort of get swept away with

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Speaker 4: that sort of buyers remorse that we get sometimes. So

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Speaker 4: they can be really really useful just helping you stay

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Speaker 4: focused on those things that you can control.

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Speaker 2: Love your work, doogle as always. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: Clinical psychologist Google Sutherland from Umbrella Well Being with us

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Speaker 2: this morning.

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Speaker 1: For more from Saturday Morning with Jack Tam, listen live

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Speaker 1: to News Talks ed B from nine am Saturday, or

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