1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: Now, if you do not love how much time your 2 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: kids are spending on screens, here's a little bit more 3 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: research to back you up on that. There is a 4 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: new survey by Homeward Bound which has found that young men, 5 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: like a huge number of young men, are lonely, young 6 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,239 Speaker 1: women are pessimistic about the world, and there is a 7 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: really strong correlation between these feelings of helplessness and how 8 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,799 Speaker 1: much time the kids are spending on their devices. Sarah 9 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: Chatwan is a chand psychologist and with us Hi Sarah, 10 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: Good afternoon. 11 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 2: Now. 12 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: I think the number that will probably surprise most people 13 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,319 Speaker 1: is the fact that young men fifteen to twenty four, 14 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: a quarter of them say they haven't even got one friend. 15 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: Is that normal historically? 16 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 2: No, I don't think historically it's normal, But certainly today 17 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 2: I think that people and my profession psychologists counselors are 18 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 2: hearing more and more of that, and certainly equally alarming 19 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 2: in this age group as the spike and you know, 20 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 2: suicide rates and also the overrepresentation and anxiety. So you know, 21 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 2: there's a lot going on for men between fifteen to 22 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 2: twenty four and friendships, you know, maybe part and parcel 23 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 2: of what we are seeing with regard to social media 24 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 2: and other pressures that occur during those years for. 25 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: Men, Why don't young men have friends. 26 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 2: Look really difficult question to unpack, but I would say 27 00:01:13,319 --> 00:01:17,840 Speaker 2: that we have seen a lot of social isolation evolve 28 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 2: due to divice use. It makes people very passive. Heither, 29 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 2: it means that they're just sitting there getting input and 30 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 2: looking at stuff and you know, roaming around and allowing 31 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 2: algorithms to lead them down you know, rabbit holes and 32 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,960 Speaker 2: all the rest of it. They're not actively seeking out friendships, 33 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 2: they're not being active, they're not actively engaged in their lives, 34 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:39,199 Speaker 2: and of course that impacts on friendships. Also. I think, 35 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 2: you know, if we unpack friendships a little bit, there's 36 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 2: a lot of men for whom friendships are not necessarily 37 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 2: a positive thing. In our country, we have a terrible 38 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 2: drink and you know culture, men get together to go 39 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 2: out and get drunk, and that's not about friendships. So 40 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 2: for a long time there's been perhaps friendships that have 41 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,200 Speaker 2: been a little bit toxic for men and women. But 42 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,440 Speaker 2: you know, a lot for men because those are the 43 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 2: types of activities that if they're going to go out 44 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 2: and gravitate towards, they do. So, you know, we need 45 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 2: to look at why they're not making friends. We also 46 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 2: need to look at what type of friends men typically 47 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 2: seem to make, and we need to, I guess, as 48 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 2: parents and as friends and as family members and as 49 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:31,360 Speaker 2: work colleagues speak about these things and encourage men to 50 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 2: you know, make bonds, make connections with other men that 51 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 2: are really positive, supportive and good for them, because the 52 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 2: one thing that the research does show is that if 53 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 2: people are feeling socially isolated, by having friends to offload 54 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: and debrief with. I mean, it's a great way of 55 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 2: feeling like you have some connection, you have some purpose, 56 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 2: and you have someone in your corner. 57 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,920 Speaker 1: Now, for the young women, it seems to be anxiety 58 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: that's the issue. So predominantly what they're feeling is pessimistic 59 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: about the world, which again, you know, does seem to 60 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: back up existing research on what the phones are doing 61 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: to kids. But here's my question for you. What do 62 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: we do as parents? I mean, is it simply do 63 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: do we drop down the amount of time that they're 64 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: spending on their screens? Do we get out doors with them? 65 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: What do we do. 66 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,959 Speaker 2: Well? I definitely think that there is certainly a push 67 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 2: and a feel and a belief and research to substantiate 68 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 2: the fact that we need to do something about social 69 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 2: media and platforms and apps and all of this device 70 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 2: time and digital landscape with our children. We have just 71 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 2: let it come upon us and there are no real 72 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 2: checks and balances in place. That is why, you know, 73 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 2: people are looking to the government to step in and 74 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 2: do something about it, because this stuff is really full 75 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 2: noise and we are not what. 76 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: We I mean. Yeah, it's one thing to say, okay, 77 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: take take the phones away. Put the phones away, We're 78 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: going to limit your screen time. That's cool, I don't mind. 79 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: But then what do you do with the time that 80 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: you have. Do you, as a parent say, you know, 81 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 1: go and do something else, or do you, as a 82 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: parent have to step in and say, let us go 83 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: do something else. 84 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 2: Oh look, I don't think it's about taking thing devices 85 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 2: and things away. I think people have often misquoted people 86 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 2: like me on there we're not I mean, the world 87 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 2: is full of this stuff, so to actually withdraw all 88 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 2: of it it's not going to be possible. But to 89 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 2: have a level of knowledge about what your kids are 90 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 2: seeing and interacting with, and yes, an answer to your 91 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 2: question should answer yeah, as parents, you might just have 92 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 2: to do a bit more parenting. You might have to 93 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 2: come up and figure out some ways. Maybe you need 94 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 2: to look to the past and figure out that, you know, 95 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 2: leaning into green space, walking, taking trips here or there, 96 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 2: you know, moving out into your community and utilizing the 97 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 2: great parts and the facilities that we have a lot 98 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 2: of in this country, the beaches, the barbecues. Absolutely, I 99 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 2: think that as parents we've got to get alongside this. 100 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 2: It's all very well, as you say to say, hey, listen, 101 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 2: stop that, put that down, don't do that. But we 102 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 2: have to come up with some ideas to you know, 103 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 2: bridge gaps for our kids. Certainly. 104 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, Sarah, listen, thanks very much, as always appreciate you. Insight. 105 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 1: That's Sarah Chatwin Child Psychologists. For more from Hither Duplessy, 106 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: Allen drive listen live to news talks it'd be from 107 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:14,920 Speaker 1: four pm weekdays, or follow the podcast on iHeartRadio.