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Speaker 1: You're listening to a podcast from News talks'd be follow

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Speaker 1: this and our wide range of podcast now on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: Hello you, great New Zealanders, Welcome to the Matin Tyler

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Speaker 2: Podcast for Monday, the twenty fifth of November and the

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Speaker 2: Year of Our Lord twenty twenty for just a month

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Speaker 2: away from Christmas. And we thought we'd get stuck into vaping.

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Speaker 2: I'm now going to have to go into witness relocation.

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Speaker 2: After me coming out and saying maybe we're freaking out

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Speaker 2: a little bit too much about vaping, the text machine

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Speaker 2: fired up with wet lang and lang and you're irresponsible

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Speaker 2: and some angry phone calls. But it was a great

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Speaker 2: chat of all time.

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Speaker 3: Great chat. Yeah, angry people, and it's been nice. We're

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Speaker 3: going with you, mate, when you go into witness protection,

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Speaker 3: we'll get you out broadcasting studio there and enjoy it.

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Speaker 2: Enjoy And then Tyler we went to the Land of

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Speaker 2: Love and had a fantastic conversation after a great article

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Speaker 2: in The Herald from a thirty year veteran of psychology

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Speaker 2: and what he's learned about relationships, and he's basically saying

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Speaker 2: you need to give up the rom com idea of

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Speaker 2: love and that you know you're not going to find

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Speaker 2: that person that's going to be perfect all the time.

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Speaker 2: And so we talked to a whole lot of people

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Speaker 2: about that, including Morris, who came in a lot worth,

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Speaker 2: ten baby mammas and thirteen kids.

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Speaker 3: Yeah he's a lover.

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Speaker 2: He's a lover, but not a fan of contraception anyway.

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Speaker 2: Make sure you subscribe to the pot if you like it,

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Speaker 2: and share it and do those kind of things. But

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Speaker 2: you enjoy the next two hours. We certainly did and

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Speaker 2: give them a taste of kiwi from.

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Speaker 1: Me talking with you all afternoon. It's Matt Heath and

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Speaker 1: Taylor Adams Afternoons you for twenty twenty four News Talk

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Speaker 1: zid be.

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Speaker 3: Good afternoon to you. Welcome into Monday Afternoon Matt and

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Speaker 3: Tyler with you until four pm.

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Speaker 2: Ghetto Maddie yet a Tyler. I feel like it didn't

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Speaker 2: even a weekend. I feel like we were just here

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Speaker 2: and there we're back. What happened over the weekend.

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Speaker 3: It's that time of the year, though, wasn't it how

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Speaker 3: you started your Christmas shopping?

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Speaker 2: If it's the twenty fifth of November, which it is,

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Speaker 2: that means Christmas by my calculations is roughly a month away.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, correct, Yeah, well run.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm starting to think about that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: this is an interesting question. But at what age do

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Speaker 2: you just start telling people what you want for your

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Speaker 2: Christmas present?

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Speaker 3: Oh that's a great topic.

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Speaker 2: I think that's better in a relationship, right, do you

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Speaker 2: just say you put them out of the misery so

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Speaker 2: they don't waste too much time going and looking for

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Speaker 2: the prison and you just tell them, Yeah, you tell

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Speaker 2: them this is what I want.

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Speaker 3: Is there anything wrong with giving cash? This is what

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Speaker 3: I want. Here is the amount of money you need

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Speaker 3: to buy that thing?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Merry Christmas. Yeah, I mean that doesn't really work

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Speaker 2: if you've got sheared bank accounts, doesn't it. No. No, Also,

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Speaker 2: buying Christmas presents doesn't really help if you've got shared

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Speaker 2: bank accounts because they can see exactly where you've been

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Speaker 2: spent your money. But I think that if your partner,

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Speaker 2: the best thing, one of the best things your partner

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Speaker 2: can do can just list of like send an email

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Speaker 2: with five things that they possibly want with links to

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Speaker 2: them with increasing value.

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Speaker 3: And put number one their favorite, or just just a mix.

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Speaker 2: So there's a bit of mystery but you don't get

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Speaker 2: something they don't want. Yeah, what's on yours for Christmas?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: What do you give the man that has everything? I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't actually, yeah, I don't think I don't need

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Speaker 2: anything at all. Absolutely no.

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Speaker 3: There must be something that you've been high on. You've

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Speaker 3: got the inflatable tent that's sorted.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, nothing. I don't need anything. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 2: want anything.

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Speaker 3: Don't give you anything, Just give me a listen, the

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Speaker 3: giving is.

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Speaker 2: The present as far as I'm concerned. If my kids

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Speaker 2: just you know, give me a nice card, that's all

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Speaker 2: I care about. And maybe a pair of shoes. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know, maybe maybe I don't know. A ring,

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Speaker 2: a gold ring. Yeah, yeah, no, No, I don't want anything.

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Speaker 2: I don't need anything.

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Speaker 3: All right, now onto the show today after three o'clock,

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Speaker 3: we're gonna have a chat about Scott Razor Robinson. How

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Speaker 3: is his tenure gone after one year as All Blacks coach.

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Speaker 3: Started off with a lot of fan fear. Then things

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Speaker 3: became a bit hairy, and now he maybe steadied the

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Speaker 3: ship a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's right. Well, we all wanted him, didn't we

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Speaker 2: And we were and we were very mean to Fozzy.

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Speaker 2: I know I was, Yeah, I was very mean to

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Speaker 2: Fozzy because we wanted Razor in the first place, and

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Speaker 2: we felt like he wasn't given a fair trial, and

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Speaker 2: then Fozzy had some hairy results. Now we've got Razor,

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Speaker 2: he's had a year in the job, and I guess

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Speaker 2: the question is how much is the difference between what

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Speaker 2: players you've got and what the coach can do. If

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Speaker 2: the coach has got if you've got if you've got

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Speaker 2: Richie McCaw, Karen Reid and Dan Carter and your team,

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Speaker 2: then you're probably going to go very well. Haven't you

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Speaker 2: got any other coaches?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: But yeah, what do you think after a year? I mean,

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Speaker 2: that game against Italy was underwhelming at best, and of

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Speaker 2: course we lost to South Africa and Argentina and France

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Speaker 2: in the year. But we are building yep. Really, what

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Speaker 2: does it matter until we win the World Cup?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Really, really, that's what we're doing. We've got to look

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Speaker 2: at how we are in three years from now in

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Speaker 2: my opinion.

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Speaker 3: Yep, looking forward to that chat after three o'clock, After

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Speaker 3: two o'clock, What does it take to build a successful relationship?

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Speaker 3: A great story in the Herald Today but what makes

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Speaker 3: and breaks long term love? Matt, You've got some big

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Speaker 3: thoughts on this one on what it takes to build

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Speaker 3: a successful relationship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a really ine article here and it

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Speaker 2: was a great read. But I think a good relationship

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Speaker 2: and I'd love to hear what people's thoughts are people

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Speaker 2: that are in great relationships that have lasted a long time.

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Speaker 2: One hundred and eighteen eighty nine to nine two is

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Speaker 2: the text number. But I think you've got people have

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Speaker 2: got to stop comparing their partner with the fantasy of

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Speaker 2: the perfect person out here, because that's impossible for anyone

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Speaker 2: to compare with. We can imagine someone incredible, and we

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Speaker 2: can imagine if we were single, we would get that person,

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Speaker 2: but it's just not the case. So you just need

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Speaker 2: to find someone you like and that you love and

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Speaker 2: they're two different things, and settle and then just just

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Speaker 2: invest your time into that person because you can just

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Speaker 2: you could spend ten years looking for that person scrolling

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Speaker 2: through the apps. But your partner doesn't have to be

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Speaker 2: the funniest person you know. They don't have to be

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Speaker 2: your best mate, they don't have to be your business partner,

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Speaker 2: they don't have to be your chauffeur. There can be

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Speaker 2: all these different things that can be different people in

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Speaker 2: your life. Your partner just has to be someone that

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Speaker 2: you like and love and then settle and then stop

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Speaker 2: stop getting angry when they're not the absolute perfect person

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Speaker 2: in the world.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what do they say about comparison? It's the thief

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Speaker 3: of joy? Is that what you're talking about? The e can't.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a great book by Allan debouton on this

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Speaker 2: and talking about love and how we have these unrealistic

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Speaker 2: expectations of the person we're with.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's going to be a good chet after two o'clopper.

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Speaker 3: Right now, let's have a chat about vaping.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, already making people angry. Just even the mere mention

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Speaker 2: of the word vaping fires people up. A survey has

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Speaker 2: found vaping frequency is decreasing. More students have given up

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Speaker 2: than taking it up in the last year. And I

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Speaker 2: just want to ask the question on eight hundred and

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Speaker 2: eighty ten eighty are we freaking out too much about vaping?

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Speaker 2: And will this have negative consequences? I'm why am I

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Speaker 2: not worried about it? It's nothing. Look, kids are going

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Speaker 2: to do some bad stuff, right, and vaping is nothing.

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Speaker 2: Like the kind of stuff I got up to when

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Speaker 2: I was a kid. I mean, I was smoking at

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Speaker 2: a very young age, yeah, and drinking. We're always going

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Speaker 2: to worry about our kids, But I'd rather my kids

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Speaker 2: didn't vape. Obviously, I'd rather they didn't vape. I'd rather

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Speaker 2: they just were absolutely perfect, But rather vape than some

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Speaker 2: of the other things they can get out there. I'd

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Speaker 2: rather they release their rebellion on vaping than smoking or

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Speaker 2: marijuana or something worse. And I think we can run

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Speaker 2: the risk of losing credibility when we absolutely freak out

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Speaker 2: as a nation on something as potentially well the words

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Speaker 2: not innocuous, but compared to other things vaping, And so

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Speaker 2: kids start to go, what's wrong with society when they're

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Speaker 2: absolutely freaking about this. We don't even know how bad

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Speaker 2: it is yet, and we're on there on our kids

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Speaker 2: asses about their phones, telling them not to vape. You know,

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Speaker 2: I think, just choose your battles. And I say, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. I might be wrong, but just vaping is

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Speaker 2: not one of the things in society that out of

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Speaker 2: all the things to worry about. I just think we

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Speaker 2: freak out at it disproportionately.

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Speaker 3: Kids are going to be a rebel, and you would

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Speaker 3: prefer them to rebel with some vapes rather than say

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Speaker 3: alcohol and certainly cigarettes, And I agree with you there.

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Speaker 3: I'd far prefer younger people to be in the smoking cigis.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because if you completely get rid of vapes, do

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Speaker 2: you think kids are going to get rid of their

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Speaker 2: will to rebel?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 3: While they starting to use those zin I think is

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Speaker 3: the product that's a nicotine product that comes in a

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Speaker 3: week pouch. You put that in your lip and you

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Speaker 3: get your nicotine hit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, as as we all know,

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Speaker 2: nicotine isn't bad in itself. The problem with nicotine was

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Speaker 2: how we were taking it. In fact, there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of advantages in nicotine, but the problem was that the

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Speaker 2: nicotine was coming with cigarettes which were killing people.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know. I just I think people have

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Speaker 2: to be realistic about this and that kids are gonna

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Speaker 2: do naughty stuff. They have to rebel in some way.

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Speaker 2: It's a it's a state as old as time. So

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Speaker 2: you just got to think of the unforeseen circumstances. If

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Speaker 2: you really crack down on vaping, what are they going

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Speaker 2: to do? They're gonna find something else and you're going

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Speaker 2: to freak out about that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my only and this is my own personal experience

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Speaker 3: when it comes to being hooked on nicotine, and I

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Speaker 3: am and I get a lot of stick about this

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Speaker 3: that I'm I don't have the will power to quit

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Speaker 3: or I just need to try a bit harder. But

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Speaker 3: for whatever reason, for me, I can. It's incredibly hard

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Speaker 3: to quit nicotine. I quit the ciggies, I jumped on

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Speaker 3: the vaping. I've tried three times. Why do you need

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Speaker 3: to quit the nicotine because I don't think it's doing

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Speaker 3: good things for me anymore. I generally don't so the

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Speaker 3: amount of nicotine that I have through my vape. And look,

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Speaker 3: people listening know that we both vape from time to time.

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Speaker 3: I vape a lot. That was for me to get

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Speaker 3: off the sigis. But the fact that I've got to

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Speaker 3: worry when I leave the house and were's my vape?

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Speaker 3: Is it fully charged? I've I got my juice? Is

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Speaker 3: it in my pocket? If it's not in my pocket,

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Speaker 3: I start to worry all of those things. I look

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Speaker 3: at that and think that's crap doing that.

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Speaker 2: I think you're stressing out over nothing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but for me, it's to get the monkey off

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Speaker 3: my back. That is all it is. And part of

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Speaker 3: it is nicotine addiction. Part of it is psychological addiction.

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Speaker 3: But I for me, and it's just a personal situation.

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Speaker 3: It is a curse. I rew the day I picked

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Speaker 3: up a cigarette and go looked on the stuff.

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Speaker 2: Well, well that's cool. Good when if you don't want

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Speaker 2: to do it, you shouldn't do it. And I thoroughly

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Speaker 2: I'll support you one hundred percent, and your attempts to

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Speaker 2: stop vaping, I know you will. This is the kind

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Speaker 2: of freaking out that I'm talking about here. That's just

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Speaker 2: come through on nine two nine two. This comment about

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Speaker 2: vaping is the comet of an uneducated and thoroughly irresponsible person.

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Speaker 2: You are completely wrong. So that's your response to it,

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Speaker 2: to just absolutely freak out that even someone suggests for

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Speaker 2: a second that they aren't worried. All I'm saying is

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Speaker 2: that I'm not particularly worried about. Out of all the

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Speaker 2: problems in the world that children are facing right now

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Speaker 2: and young people coming through are facing right now, and

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Speaker 2: society is facing right now, I think we have an

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Speaker 2: outsized reaction to vaping. And that text just proves my

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Speaker 2: point that it's hysteria.

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Speaker 3: Oh, eight one hundred eighty t and eighty love to

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Speaker 3: hear your thoughts on this one. Are we getting a

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Speaker 3: little bit or freaking out a little bit too much

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Speaker 3: when it comes to vaping in schools? Nine two ninety

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Speaker 3: two is the text number. It is sixteen past one

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Speaker 3: back in a mow.

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Speaker 1: The big stories, the big issues, the big trends and

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Speaker 1: everything in between. That Heathen Adams afternoons you for twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty four news talks.

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Speaker 3: There be news talks. There be eighteen past one. Are

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Speaker 3: we freaking out a little bit too much as a

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Speaker 3: nation when it comes to vaping? Across the board? Oh

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Speaker 3: one hundred and eighteen eighty as the number to call.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go to Andrew. Your thoughts please, Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Good good.

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Speaker 7: I'll start off by saying, I'm a non smoker and

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Speaker 7: a non vapor good for you, but.

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Speaker 4: I I.

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Speaker 7: The possible health effects of vaping. I just don't think

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Speaker 7: it's all that beneficial or or can be beneficial for

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Speaker 7: you putting that much vapor, which is basically water into

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Speaker 7: your lungs all the time. And I think people who

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Speaker 7: vape are getting pigs if you like. Now, my son

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Speaker 7: whover that old now us spoke when you're a teenager,

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Speaker 7: and now he vapes. I suspect that it's better, but

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Speaker 7: he's just as addicted to the vapes as he was

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Speaker 7: to the smokes. And in the next bread, I have

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Speaker 7: to say I hate vaping on the motorway. You know,

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Speaker 7: people in the car in front of me, they opened

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Speaker 7: the window and they laid out this mess of cloud,

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Speaker 7: which I inevitably had to drive through, like I have

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Speaker 7: to breathe in thereafter effects.

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Speaker 2: But you would, Andrew, I'm sure you would agree that

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Speaker 2: you prefer that your son was vaping to smoking cigarettes.

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Speaker 2: I don't think there's any I don't think there's inn

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Speaker 2: one out there saying, you know, there hasn't been any

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Speaker 2: really strong evidence to say that vaping's bad. And of

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Speaker 2: course that might come through because it hasn't been around

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Speaker 2: long enough for us to have I guess the longitudinal

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Speaker 2: studies to find that out. But I think, I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's no one suggesting that vaping's anywhere near as bad

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Speaker 2: for you as smoking cigarettes.

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Speaker 7: Well, that's that's the thing. I think it is because

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Speaker 7: it hasn't been around for long enough, we don't know.

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Speaker 7: I think people who say vaping is terribly bad for you,

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Speaker 7: or baiting is terribly good for you, and anything in between.

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Speaker 7: I think they just grasping its struggles because it's new technology.

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Speaker 7: Quite frankly, we don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but we don't know a lot about a lot

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Speaker 2: of things we can't sort of do you think it's

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Speaker 2: healthy too for us to get so worried and spend

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Speaker 2: so much time freaking out about stuff before we know,

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Speaker 2: because there's so many things out there we don't know about.

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Speaker 2: Don't you just shouldn't we wait till we have some

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Speaker 2: evidence that something's bad and then really worry about it.

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Speaker 7: Well, it's not healthy to get worried and freak out

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Speaker 7: about anything, you know that?

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Speaker 2: Agreed?

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Speaker 7: Yeah, that's that's the biggest killer that we've got in

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Speaker 7: this soci idea is you know, it's worse than spoking,

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Speaker 7: and it's worse than alcohol, and it's it's worse than

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Speaker 7: dope as people freaking out worry.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. The Cortersold leaders are through the roof with Tyler here,

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Speaker 2: my co host over here. Love You're like a brother,

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Speaker 2: but I think you're doing more damage. You're worrying about

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Speaker 2: your vaping than your actual vaping. You're saying before that,

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Speaker 2: you freak out if you're leaving the house, it's not there.

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Speaker 2: You worry about all this kind of stuff. You worry

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Speaker 2: that you're addicted.

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Speaker 3: Then I am addicted, no doubt about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's being addicted to vaping so bad?

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Speaker 3: Well it is if I forget my vape.

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Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean okay.

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Speaker 3: But no, just just to your point, when we cell

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Speaker 3: phones first became a big thing and everybody had the

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Speaker 3: cell phone, remember there was all that evidence that you

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Speaker 3: should well not evidence claims that you shouldn't sleep with

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Speaker 3: your cell phone next to your pillow because it does

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Speaker 3: bad things to your brain, and guys shouldn't have it

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Speaker 3: in their trouser pocket because you'll never have kids. Again,

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Speaker 3: that all ended up being bunker. It just wasn't true.

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Speaker 3: So we freaked up about freaked out about that.

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Speaker 2: What about microwaves, I mean, we could have everyone was

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Speaker 2: freaking about microwave ovens. We could have banned microwave ovens.

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Speaker 2: Not necessarily a bad thing in terms of practicality in

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Speaker 2: the kitchen. I'm not sure where the microwave oven sits,

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Speaker 2: but people will really really worry about that. Do you remember, Andrew,

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Speaker 2: when people were freaking out about televisions and the radiation

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Speaker 2: coming off televisions.

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Speaker 8: Made I'm not that old.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, but yeah, there is a tendency for people to

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Speaker 9: freak out about about technology.

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Speaker 6: And you know, Michael microwaves are bad.

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Speaker 7: If you don't if you don't keep them inside that

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Speaker 7: little box and.

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Speaker 2: Books in there with your food.

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Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, well worse if you put your disticles in there.

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Speaker 7: But the rest is everything in moderation. But you know,

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Speaker 7: ever saying my comment about vaping is one we just

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Speaker 7: don't know. And and too, I hate following cars that

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Speaker 7: where the person's vaping.

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Speaker 4: Got to be.

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Speaker 7: Fair, you know, I thought, I'm following you Tyler, I

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Speaker 7: don't want to be breathing your expirations.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean Tyler could argue that when you

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Speaker 2: pass them, you've got a little bit of stuff coming

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Speaker 2: out your exhaust pipe that he doesn't want to breathe

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Speaker 2: as well.

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Speaker 7: Well, Adam, I stongking great V eight there's probably quite

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Speaker 7: a bit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, bet Andrew, you're a good man. Thanks for giving

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Speaker 3: us a buzz text here. I had to get off

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Speaker 3: the vapes after years because I found spending half the

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Speaker 3: workday in the bathrooms vaping up a storm, couldn't go

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Speaker 3: ten minutes without it, felt like it was taking over

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Speaker 3: my life.

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Speaker 2: Oh well, then an easy cure for that, allow people

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Speaker 2: to vape at their desks for it. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 2: I'm absolutely saying that that there's problems with vaping and

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Speaker 2: it can and you know, as you say, you freak

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Speaker 2: out when you leave the house and you have a

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Speaker 2: nick when you miss out on your nicotine, you have

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Speaker 2: a down buss. I'm saying that, sure, there's everything's got

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Speaker 2: good and bad to it, and maybe vaping has got

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Speaker 2: more good than bad. But I'm just thinking about the

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Speaker 2: energy that we use and and focus on the amount

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Speaker 2: of freaking out we're doing on kids vaping. I just

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Speaker 2: don't get to that level with it. I just think

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Speaker 2: that there's so many other things that are a problem

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Speaker 2: for children right now compared to vaping. And you know, look,

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to see a nine year old vaping.

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Speaker 2: But I'm just talking about like the study he is

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Speaker 2: talking about students. They're talking about sort of later teens

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Speaker 2: and into their twenties.

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Speaker 3: Now, yep, nicely said, oh, eight hundred and eighty, ten eighty,

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Speaker 3: love to hear your thoughts on this one. Nine two

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Speaker 3: nine two. It's the text number.

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Speaker 2: It's twenty four past one.

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Speaker 1: Digging into the issues that affect you the Mike Hosking Breakfast.

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Speaker 2: I think the worst was sticking a number next to it,

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Speaker 2: because twenty nine just reminds you there were twenty eight

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Speaker 2: other times it didn't quite come together the way they thought.

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Speaker 10: Well, we have had it has been a necessary negotiation.

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Speaker 2: So what is it? Is it behavior related? Is it

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Speaker 2: how they teach, what they teach, what's happened?

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Speaker 11: I think it's a whole combination effects.

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Speaker 2: Back tomorrow at six am The Mic Hosking Breakfast with

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Speaker 2: Mayley's Real Estate News Talk ZB. We're talking about vaping.

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Speaker 2: A study has found that people are taking it up,

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Speaker 2: then are giving it up.

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Speaker 12: Now.

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Speaker 2: I'm not freaked out about vaping, but there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of people on nine two nine two and one hundred

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Speaker 2: and eighty ten eighty that really want me to freak

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Speaker 2: out about it. High Team. Really enjoy your show. I

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Speaker 2: believe vaping is much better option than SIGs. I also

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00:18:22,533 --> 00:18:25,133
Speaker 2: think live and let live with this. To be honest,

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Speaker 2: alcohol calls is way more problems for health than vaping.

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Speaker 2: I enjoy vaping as it calms me down. Nicotine helps me,

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Speaker 2: shears Sam. There's a lot of evidence for the benefits

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Speaker 2: of nicotine, which we can go into later. But let's

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Speaker 2: go to the phone. So have we got here, Julia.

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Speaker 2: You're a teacher.

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Speaker 13: I am a teacher, and I would like to give

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Speaker 13: you my perspective on vaping in schools.

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Speaker 2: I'd love to hear it.

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Speaker 14: Yep.

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Speaker 13: First of all, students will go ask to go off

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Speaker 13: to the bathroom.

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Speaker 7: They will vape.

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Speaker 13: It sets off fire alarms the whole times in schools,

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Speaker 13: which can be costly for the school.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's embarrassing.

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Speaker 14: Worst, yes, and.

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Speaker 13: Worse than that is that a student will say they

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Speaker 13: want to go to the bathroom. Sometimes they don't even

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Speaker 13: do that. They'll just put their face down the front

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Speaker 13: of their shirt and then they will go off to

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Speaker 13: the bathroom, come back as white as a ghost, shaking,

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Speaker 13: almost passing out because they've obviously had way too much

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Speaker 13: nicotine in one go.

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Speaker 7: And then you have to deal with that.

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Speaker 13: It's disruptive to your class, not to mention, not that

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Speaker 13: good for the student.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, in my defense, it was Tyler that

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Speaker 2: added schools to it. He said that my opinion was

437
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:30,973
Speaker 2: based around schools that wasn't actually, But I mean when

438
00:19:31,013 --> 00:19:33,733
Speaker 2: I was at school, Julia, I was sneaking off to

439
00:19:33,733 --> 00:19:36,053
Speaker 2: smoke cigarettes. I mean, there's always going to be kids

440
00:19:36,093 --> 00:19:39,292
Speaker 2: like me that were looking for reasons to rebel. And

441
00:19:39,373 --> 00:19:41,453
Speaker 2: I guess my thing is in terms of all the

442
00:19:41,453 --> 00:19:43,693
Speaker 2: things that I'm freaking out about, and I'm not saying

443
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,213
Speaker 2: vaping is call and I feel for you with the

444
00:19:47,293 --> 00:19:49,493
Speaker 2: disruption that's causing your class. I'm just saying, out of

445
00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:51,613
Speaker 2: all the things that we spend our energy freaking out

446
00:19:51,613 --> 00:19:54,853
Speaker 2: on in society, I'm not sure if vaping is the

447
00:19:54,853 --> 00:19:56,373
Speaker 2: one I want to spend my time on.

448
00:19:57,533 --> 00:19:59,613
Speaker 13: I feel like though, that you can get a much

449
00:19:59,613 --> 00:20:02,893
Speaker 13: bigger hits of nicotine by vaping than you ever probably

450
00:20:02,893 --> 00:20:05,093
Speaker 13: could have by going and having a little bit of

451
00:20:05,093 --> 00:20:06,173
Speaker 13: a cigarette or something.

452
00:20:06,213 --> 00:20:07,133
Speaker 12: And that's the problem.

453
00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:10,173
Speaker 13: They literally come back class and you can tell straight

454
00:20:10,213 --> 00:20:13,052
Speaker 13: away what they've been up to. They go white as

455
00:20:13,093 --> 00:20:17,293
Speaker 13: a sheet. They're shaking sweeting you there. It can't be

456
00:20:17,373 --> 00:20:18,013
Speaker 13: good for them.

457
00:20:18,253 --> 00:20:20,413
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, just on that note, Julia, and I know

458
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:23,613
Speaker 3: the Asthma Foundation is pushing hard for this, and I

459
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:26,093
Speaker 3: actually agree with it. To limit the amount of nicotine

460
00:20:26,413 --> 00:20:28,773
Speaker 3: in the vapes. At the moment, it's fifty milligrams, which

461
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,052
Speaker 3: is a lot of nicotine. They want to limit it,

462
00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:33,173
Speaker 3: limit it to twenty, which you can still get a

463
00:20:33,253 --> 00:20:35,253
Speaker 3: hit from if you are an adult that is using

464
00:20:35,293 --> 00:20:37,613
Speaker 3: it to get off cigarettes. Is that something you'd be

465
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:38,173
Speaker 3: in favor of.

466
00:20:40,253 --> 00:20:41,493
Speaker 12: Not really in schools.

467
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:41,613
Speaker 15: No.

468
00:20:41,893 --> 00:20:44,013
Speaker 13: I mean, I'm not a smoker and I'm not a

469
00:20:44,093 --> 00:20:47,573
Speaker 13: vapor and I've seen too many people in our extended

470
00:20:47,613 --> 00:20:51,013
Speaker 13: family over the years who died of the effects of smoking.

471
00:20:51,893 --> 00:20:54,773
Speaker 13: Maybe if vaping's a bit safer, that would be good,

472
00:20:55,013 --> 00:20:57,773
Speaker 13: But I really don't think school cold should be vaping.

473
00:20:58,933 --> 00:21:00,973
Speaker 2: I mean, as if I was running a school, if

474
00:21:01,013 --> 00:21:03,733
Speaker 2: I was a teacher, also wouldn't allow vaping at school,

475
00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:05,933
Speaker 2: because you just can't be doing that kind of thing

476
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:07,973
Speaker 2: in the same way as I wouldn't allow kids chewing

477
00:21:07,973 --> 00:21:11,013
Speaker 2: gum and class or you know, you've got to have

478
00:21:11,093 --> 00:21:14,533
Speaker 2: rules totally respect that. I guess my point is that

479
00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:18,893
Speaker 2: I I just think that kids will find something naughty

480
00:21:18,893 --> 00:21:21,493
Speaker 2: to do, and I know that my brain when I

481
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:24,253
Speaker 2: was a teenager was just so focused on rebelling in

482
00:21:24,253 --> 00:21:27,293
Speaker 2: any way I can, and I think that vaping is

483
00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:29,493
Speaker 2: the current currently the thing they do, and I'm just

484
00:21:29,573 --> 00:21:32,733
Speaker 2: glad that that's what they're rebelling with as opposed to cigarettes.

485
00:21:34,733 --> 00:21:37,653
Speaker 13: Yeah, I feel like that maybe if they did put

486
00:21:37,733 --> 00:21:40,493
Speaker 13: this nicotine in them, that would be a good start.

487
00:21:40,773 --> 00:21:43,213
Speaker 13: But I still can't say I would be in favor

488
00:21:43,253 --> 00:21:45,213
Speaker 13: of it. But as you say, some students are going

489
00:21:45,253 --> 00:21:47,413
Speaker 13: to try, they'll try everything.

490
00:21:46,973 --> 00:21:47,373
Speaker 14: In the book.

491
00:21:47,653 --> 00:21:49,493
Speaker 2: I'm sure you've seen a lot of that over the years.

492
00:21:49,773 --> 00:21:52,213
Speaker 11: That's what teenagers are exactly.

493
00:21:52,533 --> 00:21:55,573
Speaker 2: And good on you for doing what you do to

494
00:21:55,973 --> 00:21:57,973
Speaker 2: bring up our young people. We appreciate that.

495
00:21:57,933 --> 00:21:59,973
Speaker 3: Julia, Thank you very much. Oh one hundred and eighty

496
00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:01,813
Speaker 3: ten eighty is the number to call love to hear

497
00:22:01,853 --> 00:22:05,973
Speaker 3: from you on this. It is twenty nine to two.

498
00:22:07,533 --> 00:22:11,133
Speaker 16: You talk said be headlines with blue bubble taxis, it's

499
00:22:11,213 --> 00:22:14,173
Speaker 16: no trouble with a blue bubble. Health New Zealand is

500
00:22:14,213 --> 00:22:17,253
Speaker 16: looking at more job cuts as it continues the hunt

501
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:20,573
Speaker 16: to save one point four billion dollars. It last month

502
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:25,493
Speaker 16: approved more than four hundred voluntary redundancy applications. Three men

503
00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:27,573
Speaker 16: have been arrested in the Bay of Plenty after a

504
00:22:27,613 --> 00:22:30,893
Speaker 16: man hunt for an aggravated burglary that put a person

505
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:34,333
Speaker 16: in hospital and killed a family dog in Kuypra, north

506
00:22:34,373 --> 00:22:38,573
Speaker 16: of Auckland. One person's been arrested and another has moderate

507
00:22:38,613 --> 00:22:41,933
Speaker 16: injuries after reports of an assault in Addington this morning.

508
00:22:42,773 --> 00:22:45,813
Speaker 16: A Kiwi tourist who became sick in the mass outbreak

509
00:22:45,853 --> 00:22:49,293
Speaker 16: in Laos that is left six dead and many others

510
00:22:49,413 --> 00:22:53,733
Speaker 16: violently ill has returned home. It's thought they drank methanol

511
00:22:53,853 --> 00:22:57,653
Speaker 16: lace drinks. Stats and Z says we imported eight point

512
00:22:57,773 --> 00:23:00,933
Speaker 16: nine billion dollars of vehicles, parts and accessories in the

513
00:23:01,053 --> 00:23:05,253
Speaker 16: year to October. In New Zealand expects its first half

514
00:23:05,293 --> 00:23:07,973
Speaker 16: earnings to drop. It's putting some of it down to

515
00:23:07,973 --> 00:23:12,333
Speaker 16: globe engine maintenance delays as well as a shortage of aircraft.

516
00:23:13,293 --> 00:23:16,173
Speaker 16: Phil Goodford picks the areas where the All Blacks failed

517
00:23:16,253 --> 00:23:19,893
Speaker 16: and flourished in they're underwhelming when over Italy you can

518
00:23:19,933 --> 00:23:22,773
Speaker 16: read the breakdown at Enzen here all premium Back to

519
00:23:22,813 --> 00:23:24,213
Speaker 16: Matt Eath and Tyler Adams.

520
00:23:24,213 --> 00:23:26,693
Speaker 3: Thank you very much. Raylean. We're talking about vaping in

521
00:23:26,773 --> 00:23:30,013
Speaker 3: New Zealand and what could be called the hysteria around vaping. Now,

522
00:23:30,013 --> 00:23:33,213
Speaker 3: I did you dirty, I said, vaping kids, vaping. That's

523
00:23:33,253 --> 00:23:34,213
Speaker 3: not what you said at all.

524
00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:35,973
Speaker 2: No, you said you know what you did and what

525
00:23:36,013 --> 00:23:39,773
Speaker 2: you've got The entire education department on my ass. It

526
00:23:39,933 --> 00:23:42,413
Speaker 2: was you said that Matt was saying he wasn't freaking

527
00:23:42,413 --> 00:23:46,013
Speaker 2: out about vaping in school one hundred percent, that your

528
00:23:46,213 --> 00:23:48,893
Speaker 2: kids shouldn't be all of vapor in class now, as

529
00:23:48,893 --> 00:23:51,213
Speaker 2: if I would ever suggest that, Tyler, you throw me under.

530
00:23:51,053 --> 00:23:52,373
Speaker 3: The busto, I did you dirty there.

531
00:23:52,453 --> 00:23:54,613
Speaker 2: All I'm saying is, look, there's definitely going to be

532
00:23:54,613 --> 00:23:59,173
Speaker 2: something some bad parts of vaping, but all kids rebel

533
00:23:59,933 --> 00:24:02,613
Speaker 2: or a certain amount of teenagers will find something to rebel,

534
00:24:02,653 --> 00:24:04,773
Speaker 2: and I just I just can't bring myself to freak

535
00:24:04,813 --> 00:24:06,733
Speaker 2: out about vaping compared to all the other things in

536
00:24:06,733 --> 00:24:09,173
Speaker 2: the world. And you've just got keep in mind that

537
00:24:09,253 --> 00:24:12,053
Speaker 2: if you really crack down on vaping across the board

538
00:24:12,093 --> 00:24:16,693
Speaker 2: I'm talking about legally, then people will find some other

539
00:24:16,693 --> 00:24:18,293
Speaker 2: way to rebel, and you never know what that is

540
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:18,693
Speaker 2: going to be.

541
00:24:18,853 --> 00:24:19,053
Speaker 14: Yep.

542
00:24:19,093 --> 00:24:21,373
Speaker 2: And it's certainly better that the kids are rebelling now

543
00:24:21,413 --> 00:24:23,373
Speaker 2: with vaping than they are with cigarettes like I did.

544
00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,293
Speaker 3: And alcohol as well.

545
00:24:24,493 --> 00:24:28,373
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, yeah, vaping is Differentely, it's definitely a

546
00:24:28,373 --> 00:24:30,213
Speaker 2: bit of a rebel with vaping than it is with alcohol.

547
00:24:30,213 --> 00:24:31,333
Speaker 2: But I mean I'm sure they'll do both.

548
00:24:31,413 --> 00:24:33,613
Speaker 3: Yeah, Geene, how are you this afternoon? How do you

549
00:24:33,613 --> 00:24:34,173
Speaker 3: feel about this?

550
00:24:35,413 --> 00:24:38,093
Speaker 15: Well, I don't like the idea, I was saying to

551
00:24:38,173 --> 00:24:40,413
Speaker 15: the person I was talking to. I listened to your

552
00:24:40,453 --> 00:24:43,893
Speaker 15: station all the time, and when the shaping first came in,

553
00:24:44,493 --> 00:24:46,773
Speaker 15: it was on your station. I heard it and they

554
00:24:46,853 --> 00:24:50,453
Speaker 15: said that over in London they had never ever seen

555
00:24:50,853 --> 00:24:54,253
Speaker 15: anything like it. Children six seven eight year olds. The

556
00:24:54,373 --> 00:24:58,572
Speaker 15: lungs were completely shot and they'd been using vaping, and

557
00:24:58,653 --> 00:25:01,333
Speaker 15: I think that should have been looked into. I haven't

558
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,133
Speaker 15: heard anymore. But I was brought up in the house.

559
00:25:04,813 --> 00:25:08,693
Speaker 15: My dad was a chain smoker. My mum smoked. Dad

560
00:25:08,733 --> 00:25:13,693
Speaker 15: died before he was sixty with prostate cancer, all through smoking.

561
00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:17,013
Speaker 15: And my mum she died in the seema and now

562
00:25:17,013 --> 00:25:19,453
Speaker 15: she's passed it on to me. And I've never smoked

563
00:25:19,453 --> 00:25:20,293
Speaker 15: in my life.

564
00:25:20,493 --> 00:25:22,133
Speaker 2: I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry to hear that.

565
00:25:22,213 --> 00:25:25,053
Speaker 15: Jeane, my son, he was in band and I could

566
00:25:25,093 --> 00:25:28,053
Speaker 15: smell him coming before it even got inside the door.

567
00:25:28,293 --> 00:25:29,013
Speaker 17: With the smoke.

568
00:25:29,173 --> 00:25:32,013
Speaker 15: He inhales, So I mean, he doesn't smoke at all,

569
00:25:32,133 --> 00:25:34,133
Speaker 15: so God knows what his lungs are going to be like.

570
00:25:34,573 --> 00:25:36,453
Speaker 15: You know, he used to play in all the bars

571
00:25:36,493 --> 00:25:39,532
Speaker 15: and now smoky they were nobody thought of anything like

572
00:25:39,613 --> 00:25:43,333
Speaker 15: that then as you get older. But I just think

573
00:25:43,453 --> 00:25:45,973
Speaker 15: that's wrong to let kids. And they said that they

574
00:25:45,973 --> 00:25:49,133
Speaker 15: were sneaking them and off their older brother and sister

575
00:25:49,853 --> 00:25:51,532
Speaker 15: and that's how the kids do it.

576
00:25:51,853 --> 00:25:55,053
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'd be Geene, I'd be Gene. I'd be

577
00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:58,373
Speaker 2: incredibly worried if I saw a six year old vaping.

578
00:25:59,053 --> 00:26:01,613
Speaker 2: I haven't said that that would be shocking, but I

579
00:26:01,613 --> 00:26:04,853
Speaker 2: don't think there's much of that going on. Hopefully we're

580
00:26:04,853 --> 00:26:07,373
Speaker 2: talking more about we're talking more about late teenagers and

581
00:26:08,013 --> 00:26:10,733
Speaker 2: early early twenties and with us the study that we're

582
00:26:10,773 --> 00:26:13,293
Speaker 2: going off now. But yeah, I mean, I think there's

583
00:26:13,293 --> 00:26:15,933
Speaker 2: not a person in the country that wouldn't see a

584
00:26:15,973 --> 00:26:18,533
Speaker 2: six year old vaping and think it was a bad thing.

585
00:26:19,053 --> 00:26:23,653
Speaker 2: But whatever, whatever the case is with cigarettes and vaping,

586
00:26:23,693 --> 00:26:27,213
Speaker 2: I think we're all agreed. And with the amount of

587
00:26:27,213 --> 00:26:28,733
Speaker 2: time they've had to study it, though, I would have

588
00:26:28,773 --> 00:26:31,213
Speaker 2: found out by now that vaping is definitely not as

589
00:26:31,213 --> 00:26:35,173
Speaker 2: bad as smoking cigarettes. There's not even a magnitude of comparison.

590
00:26:35,453 --> 00:26:37,493
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've just got to say, Gene, thank you

591
00:26:37,653 --> 00:26:38,973
Speaker 3: very much for your call. I've got to say with

592
00:26:39,013 --> 00:26:42,093
Speaker 3: my own vaping going from cigarettes, and I know my

593
00:26:42,213 --> 00:26:45,093
Speaker 3: lung capacity because it's been measured by my doctor, has

594
00:26:45,133 --> 00:26:49,093
Speaker 3: greatly improved, dramatically improved. So on the health side of things,

595
00:26:50,173 --> 00:26:52,453
Speaker 3: the vaping has been really good for me. It's not

596
00:26:53,053 --> 00:26:55,533
Speaker 3: great long term. I wish I wasn't vaping or didn't

597
00:26:55,573 --> 00:26:57,493
Speaker 3: have to vape, And I know people say, well, just don't.

598
00:26:57,613 --> 00:27:00,693
Speaker 3: I've got an addiction. But on the health spectrum side

599
00:27:00,693 --> 00:27:04,053
Speaker 3: of things, when I was smoking cigarettes versus vaping, my

600
00:27:04,133 --> 00:27:05,493
Speaker 3: health is dramatically improved.

601
00:27:05,733 --> 00:27:09,973
Speaker 2: Yeah. And when you because you've taken it into the classroom, Tyler,

602
00:27:10,653 --> 00:27:12,653
Speaker 2: I'd also have to mention that when I was at

603
00:27:12,733 --> 00:27:16,893
Speaker 2: intermediate and high school, we used to sniff pens, that's

604
00:27:16,933 --> 00:27:19,133
Speaker 2: what we used to be into. And my mates used

605
00:27:19,173 --> 00:27:22,853
Speaker 2: to sniff sniff petrol. So kids will find something bad

606
00:27:22,893 --> 00:27:26,493
Speaker 2: to do. They will, they will, There's no doubt about it.

607
00:27:27,053 --> 00:27:29,613
Speaker 2: Glue sniffing used to be a serious thing, so.

608
00:27:30,253 --> 00:27:32,293
Speaker 3: Yer asol cans and the beating, you know, that was

609
00:27:32,333 --> 00:27:33,213
Speaker 3: a thing at my school.

610
00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:37,413
Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's no doubt that that's worse than vaping.

611
00:27:37,813 --> 00:27:40,453
Speaker 2: So I'm just all I'm saying is that out of

612
00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:42,613
Speaker 2: all the things at the moment to freak out about

613
00:27:42,613 --> 00:27:44,853
Speaker 2: and spend our energy on when it comes to focusing

614
00:27:44,933 --> 00:27:48,013
Speaker 2: on our kids, I just can't bring it bring myself

615
00:27:48,053 --> 00:27:51,013
Speaker 2: to freak out as much as other people are about vaping,

616
00:27:51,093 --> 00:27:53,093
Speaker 2: and I just worry about what the other options are.

617
00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:57,053
Speaker 2: If they can't release their rebellion valve with vaping, what

618
00:27:57,133 --> 00:28:01,453
Speaker 2: will it be percent not backing vaping in the classroom

619
00:28:01,573 --> 00:28:03,493
Speaker 2: or sneaking off at school and vaping.

620
00:28:03,253 --> 00:28:05,893
Speaker 3: Yeap, Oh eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the

621
00:28:06,013 --> 00:28:08,453
Speaker 3: number to call. It is bang on twenty to two.

622
00:28:10,253 --> 00:28:14,373
Speaker 1: Your new home of afternoon talk man Heaton Taylor Adams

623
00:28:14,413 --> 00:28:18,733
Speaker 1: Afternoon Call, Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty News Talk'd.

624
00:28:18,213 --> 00:28:19,693
Speaker 3: Be eighteen to two.

625
00:28:19,853 --> 00:28:22,653
Speaker 2: We're talking about vaping and new study says more people

626
00:28:22,693 --> 00:28:25,453
Speaker 2: are giving it up than taking it up, especially young people.

627
00:28:25,973 --> 00:28:29,293
Speaker 2: Here's a text here that goes to supports my point

628
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,493
Speaker 2: about kids always doing bad things. You just gotta be

629
00:28:31,493 --> 00:28:34,773
Speaker 2: careful what you banned, because they'll find something else. Cigarettes,

630
00:28:34,853 --> 00:28:37,373
Speaker 2: rocket fuel and sniffing dry cleaning fluid with a go

631
00:28:37,493 --> 00:28:40,133
Speaker 2: to in the day at my intermediate school, I'll happily

632
00:28:40,173 --> 00:28:42,573
Speaker 2: take vaping over those. Thanks your text, James.

633
00:28:42,333 --> 00:28:44,773
Speaker 3: Yep Fair point. I mean, and the more you think

634
00:28:44,813 --> 00:28:47,493
Speaker 3: about it, cough syrup. You know, there's always these trends

635
00:28:47,533 --> 00:28:50,653
Speaker 3: that pop up, even more so in the social media world.

636
00:28:51,013 --> 00:28:53,333
Speaker 3: I mean, kids who are holding their breath until they

637
00:28:53,373 --> 00:28:54,493
Speaker 3: pass out for goodness sake.

638
00:28:54,493 --> 00:28:57,333
Speaker 2: Oh, I s to love doing that. Yeah, halfing, you'd

639
00:28:57,333 --> 00:28:58,613
Speaker 2: do that and then you'd fall on the floor and

640
00:28:58,653 --> 00:29:00,693
Speaker 2: you'd be unconscious, and you'd come around and even be

641
00:29:00,693 --> 00:29:03,453
Speaker 2: standing around you yelling at Hollywood. There's always going to

642
00:29:03,493 --> 00:29:05,373
Speaker 2: be idiot kids like me that do something like that.

643
00:29:05,493 --> 00:29:05,853
Speaker 6: Yeah.

644
00:29:05,693 --> 00:29:07,733
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we'll find something. We'll find the level of

645
00:29:07,733 --> 00:29:08,893
Speaker 2: rebellion do it at that?

646
00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:09,493
Speaker 14: Yeah?

647
00:29:09,573 --> 00:29:11,693
Speaker 2: And so yeah, we have to have something or we'll

648
00:29:11,693 --> 00:29:13,733
Speaker 2: go further and further, and you've got to be got

649
00:29:13,733 --> 00:29:15,893
Speaker 2: to be careful what it is. Yeah, I mean there's

650
00:29:15,933 --> 00:29:21,093
Speaker 2: an argument that you know, so won't go into that argument.

651
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:22,213
Speaker 2: It's just going to muddy the waters.

652
00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:24,093
Speaker 3: Oh, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number

653
00:29:24,133 --> 00:29:24,413
Speaker 3: to call.

654
00:29:24,573 --> 00:29:24,853
Speaker 7: Jane.

655
00:29:24,853 --> 00:29:28,893
Speaker 3: Now you've got some experience with teenagers buying these products online,

656
00:29:28,893 --> 00:29:29,133
Speaker 3: have you?

657
00:29:29,933 --> 00:29:34,573
Speaker 17: Yeah, so my son he's underage and he can buy

658
00:29:34,693 --> 00:29:40,173
Speaker 17: whatever vape he likes online. Never smoked, never been around it,

659
00:29:40,253 --> 00:29:43,213
Speaker 17: Never have smoking wasn't a thing at school, but he's

660
00:29:43,293 --> 00:29:46,213
Speaker 17: really addicted to the vaping now it's attached to him.

661
00:29:46,333 --> 00:29:47,213
Speaker 17: Twenty four to seven.

662
00:29:47,733 --> 00:29:49,453
Speaker 2: How old is it? How old is your How is

663
00:29:49,453 --> 00:29:53,013
Speaker 2: your kid? Janell seventeen? Oh yeah.

664
00:29:53,013 --> 00:29:56,933
Speaker 17: And his reasoning for find vaping was to give him comfort,

665
00:29:57,293 --> 00:30:00,173
Speaker 17: to allow him to do something. And I'm like, that's

666
00:30:00,173 --> 00:30:03,733
Speaker 17: not a reason to vape in any shape or form.

667
00:30:03,773 --> 00:30:07,813
Speaker 17: But because everyrun house does it, just like smoking, they

668
00:30:07,853 --> 00:30:09,933
Speaker 17: do it. They find their way to get it.

669
00:30:10,613 --> 00:30:12,973
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, and that pear pressure part of it

670
00:30:12,733 --> 00:30:14,773
Speaker 2: is quite full on. We had another text from a

671
00:30:14,773 --> 00:30:17,893
Speaker 2: young person who said that they don't want to vape,

672
00:30:17,893 --> 00:30:20,653
Speaker 2: but they just feel like a loser around people that

673
00:30:20,733 --> 00:30:23,413
Speaker 2: are vaping, which is odd because I'm not coming out

674
00:30:23,453 --> 00:30:26,293
Speaker 2: in support of vaping. Like I've described vapes as a

675
00:30:26,333 --> 00:30:29,733
Speaker 2: douche fluke before. I think the douchery do They're They're

676
00:30:29,773 --> 00:30:30,693
Speaker 2: incredibly uncool.

677
00:30:30,773 --> 00:30:32,173
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, Yeah.

678
00:30:32,053 --> 00:30:34,893
Speaker 17: I think I agree. We have staff that work here

679
00:30:34,933 --> 00:30:38,413
Speaker 17: and they're in their early twenties twenty nineteen to twenty two,

680
00:30:38,813 --> 00:30:42,453
Speaker 17: and they are addicted. They smoke vap during work, but

681
00:30:42,493 --> 00:30:44,653
Speaker 17: if they lose it, they have to go find it.

682
00:30:44,773 --> 00:30:47,253
Speaker 17: They can't work, they stop work and go look for

683
00:30:47,253 --> 00:30:49,533
Speaker 17: it because they're panicking because they can't find it. Just

684
00:30:49,613 --> 00:30:52,733
Speaker 17: shows how they're addicted to They are upholding the thing, yeah,

685
00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:54,773
Speaker 17: being with them so they can have it when they want.

686
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:58,613
Speaker 2: Well, well, that's the thing about vaping that cigarette don't have.

687
00:30:58,813 --> 00:31:03,173
Speaker 2: If someone's smoking a cigarette in a room, absolutely everybody knows.

688
00:31:03,853 --> 00:31:07,493
Speaker 2: But if someone can can quite sneakily vape at their desk,

689
00:31:07,693 --> 00:31:09,213
Speaker 2: and you know, and there's a good chance that no

690
00:31:09,253 --> 00:31:11,733
Speaker 2: one will, no one will notice it. But but I

691
00:31:11,773 --> 00:31:13,533
Speaker 2: think we could all all agree, and I keep I'm

692
00:31:13,573 --> 00:31:17,093
Speaker 2: repeating myself here that vaping is nowhere near as bad

693
00:31:17,133 --> 00:31:18,493
Speaker 2: for you as smoking cigarettes.

694
00:31:19,253 --> 00:31:21,693
Speaker 17: No, it's just more addictive for the kids to have

695
00:31:21,773 --> 00:31:24,653
Speaker 17: something to hold, you know. Well, younger and I smoked,

696
00:31:25,133 --> 00:31:28,613
Speaker 17: you smoked the morning tea, lunchtime, and an afternoon tea.

697
00:31:28,613 --> 00:31:31,013
Speaker 17: Where they do it continuously all day and they have

698
00:31:31,133 --> 00:31:32,773
Speaker 17: to have it. It's that thing of having to have

699
00:31:32,893 --> 00:31:33,213
Speaker 17: it there.

700
00:31:33,573 --> 00:31:36,653
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's there's I used to have my studio. I

701
00:31:36,653 --> 00:31:38,813
Speaker 2: would look out and I'd see where people are vaped,

702
00:31:38,893 --> 00:31:41,733
Speaker 2: and they'd sit in the window. They couldn't really see me.

703
00:31:42,093 --> 00:31:44,373
Speaker 2: And you see people out there, they'd be scrolling on

704
00:31:44,413 --> 00:31:48,133
Speaker 2: their phone, vaping, scrollings vaping, scrolling vaping, and you go, boy,

705
00:31:48,213 --> 00:31:53,173
Speaker 2: you were you were running two heavy addictions right here.

706
00:31:54,133 --> 00:31:56,053
Speaker 2: Could you not just sit and look off into the

707
00:31:56,053 --> 00:31:59,613
Speaker 2: distance for a little bit here scrolling vaping, scrolling vaping?

708
00:31:59,933 --> 00:32:03,733
Speaker 3: Yeah, and what is your Yeah? Have you had a

709
00:32:03,813 --> 00:32:06,613
Speaker 3: chat to your your seventeen year old son about his vaping?

710
00:32:06,693 --> 00:32:08,253
Speaker 3: Is he Is he up for discussing that with you?

711
00:32:09,253 --> 00:32:09,453
Speaker 18: Yeah?

712
00:32:09,573 --> 00:32:13,253
Speaker 17: Yeah, he definitely is. And you know, like us is

713
00:32:13,293 --> 00:32:14,893
Speaker 17: all beds, we don't want to be told what to do.

714
00:32:14,973 --> 00:32:17,453
Speaker 17: So I can't tell them not to do it. I

715
00:32:17,493 --> 00:32:20,733
Speaker 17: can say, Look, nobody knows the side effects on it.

716
00:32:21,093 --> 00:32:23,813
Speaker 17: I'm glad you aren't smoking, but I don't think it's

717
00:32:23,893 --> 00:32:25,893
Speaker 17: right at the same time, but it is your choice.

718
00:32:26,693 --> 00:32:29,533
Speaker 17: But you could see how more addictivity is to hold

719
00:32:29,573 --> 00:32:32,093
Speaker 17: it into have it with him? Yeah, each day, you know,

720
00:32:32,253 --> 00:32:33,893
Speaker 17: it gets more and more so more there and I

721
00:32:33,893 --> 00:32:36,173
Speaker 17: think maybe, like you were stating before about the next

722
00:32:36,213 --> 00:32:39,413
Speaker 17: teen levels dropping, I feel that is a really good solution.

723
00:32:40,533 --> 00:32:43,693
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is interesting though, but you know, we always

724
00:32:43,693 --> 00:32:45,733
Speaker 2: freak out every generation. We've talked about this on the show.

725
00:32:45,773 --> 00:32:49,053
Speaker 2: Before they go back to Roman times and before Greek time, Socrates,

726
00:32:49,133 --> 00:32:52,013
Speaker 2: people have always been freaking freaking out about what young

727
00:32:52,053 --> 00:32:55,613
Speaker 2: people are up to. But interesting stats around alcohol consumption,

728
00:32:55,813 --> 00:32:58,813
Speaker 2: and I think alcohol can do obviously is an incredibly

729
00:32:58,893 --> 00:33:02,173
Speaker 2: risky thing. I mean, I drink myself, but I started

730
00:33:02,213 --> 00:33:05,093
Speaker 2: drinking way too young. And it's good to see that

731
00:33:05,173 --> 00:33:07,533
Speaker 2: kids are drinking less than they used to. There's less

732
00:33:07,573 --> 00:33:09,493
Speaker 2: alcohol in some than they used to, and I think

733
00:33:09,533 --> 00:33:11,093
Speaker 2: that's something that's a very positive thing.

734
00:33:11,973 --> 00:33:14,413
Speaker 17: Yeah, and it'd be harder to get Like alcohol is

735
00:33:14,453 --> 00:33:16,533
Speaker 17: harder to get vaping you can just buy it online

736
00:33:16,573 --> 00:33:18,933
Speaker 17: and say that you're eighteen. You take a box and

737
00:33:19,133 --> 00:33:21,213
Speaker 17: you can get it. You know, there's nothing to stop

738
00:33:21,253 --> 00:33:23,573
Speaker 17: you buying it, where alcohol is a lot harder to

739
00:33:23,573 --> 00:33:26,133
Speaker 17: buy online. There's a lot of checks and you've got

740
00:33:26,173 --> 00:33:29,013
Speaker 17: to put your driver's license in so they can't get

741
00:33:29,013 --> 00:33:30,613
Speaker 17: their alcohol as easy as they can.

742
00:33:30,893 --> 00:33:36,053
Speaker 2: When does your When does your sun turn eighteen in February?

743
00:33:36,133 --> 00:33:37,373
Speaker 17: So it's quite leankful to that.

744
00:33:37,853 --> 00:33:38,013
Speaker 8: Yeah.

745
00:33:38,093 --> 00:33:42,653
Speaker 2: Yeah, because because I'm liberal sort of parent in a

746
00:33:42,693 --> 00:33:44,813
Speaker 2: lot of ways, and that I believe that you give

747
00:33:44,813 --> 00:33:46,133
Speaker 2: them a little bit of freedom and as long as

748
00:33:46,173 --> 00:33:49,853
Speaker 2: they don't go too crazy, then you know, I'm not

749
00:33:49,853 --> 00:33:51,493
Speaker 2: going to crack down on the too hard. I'm a

750
00:33:51,493 --> 00:33:54,133
Speaker 2: big fan of trust and stuff, but it did seem

751
00:33:54,173 --> 00:33:56,373
Speaker 2: insane to me when my son turned eighteen and he

752
00:33:56,413 --> 00:33:59,173
Speaker 2: could suddenly walk into a bottle store and buy whatever

753
00:33:59,253 --> 00:34:01,813
Speaker 2: amount of alcohol he wanted. I'm not suggesting changing the

754
00:34:02,133 --> 00:34:05,173
Speaker 2: alcohol ages or anything, but it is quite confronting when

755
00:34:05,173 --> 00:34:07,613
Speaker 2: you just realize that your son at any time can

756
00:34:07,693 --> 00:34:09,573
Speaker 2: just walk down the road and buy a one one

757
00:34:09,613 --> 00:34:12,172
Speaker 2: two five of gin. Yeah.

758
00:34:12,652 --> 00:34:14,573
Speaker 17: Yeah, and there's no control. They don't know how to

759
00:34:14,893 --> 00:34:17,493
Speaker 17: deal with it. And what aftermath is going to happen

760
00:34:17,493 --> 00:34:18,453
Speaker 17: after drinking all that?

761
00:34:18,733 --> 00:34:22,333
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely mean it's terrible, Yeah, terribly dangerous one one

762
00:34:22,373 --> 00:34:23,652
Speaker 2: two five of gin. That's for sure.

763
00:34:23,973 --> 00:34:26,053
Speaker 3: You care. That is Janelle. You sound like a great mum.

764
00:34:26,093 --> 00:34:28,573
Speaker 3: Thank you very much. Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty

765
00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:30,533
Speaker 3: is the number to call give us a buzz. It

766
00:34:30,613 --> 00:34:33,133
Speaker 3: is twelve to two.

767
00:34:33,853 --> 00:34:37,172
Speaker 1: Matteeth Tyler Adams seeking your calls on Oh eight hundred

768
00:34:37,173 --> 00:34:41,213
Speaker 1: and eighty mad Eth and Tyler Adams Afternoons.

769
00:34:40,613 --> 00:34:43,533
Speaker 3: Newstalksb Newstalks. The b it is nine to two.

770
00:34:43,853 --> 00:34:46,293
Speaker 2: You're just talking about nicotine and vaping. A lot of

771
00:34:46,293 --> 00:34:49,173
Speaker 2: people bring up nicotine and lurering. The amount of nicotine.

772
00:34:49,253 --> 00:34:51,893
Speaker 2: It is interesting to look into nicotine as an actual

773
00:34:52,453 --> 00:34:55,573
Speaker 2: in itsself outside of cigarettes. It isn't actually bad for you.

774
00:34:56,093 --> 00:34:58,573
Speaker 2: It is addictive so that it will lead you to

775
00:34:58,613 --> 00:35:01,692
Speaker 2: do the thing that you do to ingest it a lot. Yeah,

776
00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:04,253
Speaker 2: that's that's what my people have problem with vaping because

777
00:35:04,413 --> 00:35:06,173
Speaker 2: you need the nicotine. See how you take it, and

778
00:35:06,213 --> 00:35:07,733
Speaker 2: you could take it with gummies. You could take it

779
00:35:07,733 --> 00:35:12,053
Speaker 2: with gum. But nicotine has interesting effects on parkinson and Parkinson's.

780
00:35:12,133 --> 00:35:16,093
Speaker 2: Non nicotine consumers three times more likely developed Parkinson's. Nicotine

781
00:35:16,133 --> 00:35:18,692
Speaker 2: has been shown to help with Alzheimer's patients with those

782
00:35:18,693 --> 00:35:21,933
Speaker 2: taking nicotention show statistically significant improvements and reaction time and

783
00:35:21,973 --> 00:35:25,053
Speaker 2: memory and attention. Nicotine has been shown to enhance memory

784
00:35:25,093 --> 00:35:28,493
Speaker 2: and healthy people. Nicotine has been shown to help control ADHD.

785
00:35:28,773 --> 00:35:30,773
Speaker 2: It has been found to have some benefits in relief

786
00:35:30,773 --> 00:35:35,652
Speaker 2: of depression, benefits in fighting obesity, delaying arthritis. So there's

787
00:35:35,693 --> 00:35:37,973
Speaker 2: lots of studies out there that say that the problem

788
00:35:37,973 --> 00:35:40,853
Speaker 2: with nicotine is that it happened to be found in cigarettes.

789
00:35:40,973 --> 00:35:45,253
Speaker 2: Nicotine itself isn't harmful, of course, if nicotine is leading

790
00:35:45,293 --> 00:35:49,693
Speaker 2: you to freak out because you haven't brought your vape

791
00:35:49,693 --> 00:35:53,813
Speaker 2: with you and en forcing you to have addictive habits

792
00:35:53,853 --> 00:35:55,973
Speaker 2: like always having to you know, if it's affecting your life,

793
00:35:56,013 --> 00:35:57,853
Speaker 2: any addiction that affects your life in a bad way

794
00:35:58,693 --> 00:36:01,212
Speaker 2: in whatever that is in terms of how much time

795
00:36:01,213 --> 00:36:02,853
Speaker 2: you have just been away from your deskool all those

796
00:36:02,933 --> 00:36:04,093
Speaker 2: kind of things. And then sure it can be a

797
00:36:04,093 --> 00:36:07,573
Speaker 2: bad thing. But nicotine in itself is not bad for humans.

798
00:36:07,573 --> 00:36:09,733
Speaker 2: In fact, there's a a lot of evidence suggests it's

799
00:36:09,813 --> 00:36:10,533
Speaker 2: very good for our brains.

800
00:36:10,573 --> 00:36:12,733
Speaker 3: And when it comes to the addiction side of nicotine,

801
00:36:12,773 --> 00:36:15,853
Speaker 3: that's only half of the equation, right. The psychological addiction

802
00:36:15,973 --> 00:36:18,373
Speaker 3: is a big thing with smoking and vaping as well,

803
00:36:18,733 --> 00:36:20,933
Speaker 3: that it's got to be taken into consideration.

804
00:36:21,333 --> 00:36:24,093
Speaker 2: Yeah, but this text here on nine two nine two

805
00:36:24,253 --> 00:36:26,253
Speaker 2: is kind of what I'm trying to say. We talk

806
00:36:26,293 --> 00:36:28,973
Speaker 2: about vaping, climate change, healthy foods, blah blah blah. Let

807
00:36:28,973 --> 00:36:31,053
Speaker 2: the goal for twenty twenty five be to get students

808
00:36:31,093 --> 00:36:34,333
Speaker 2: to school regularly and to be involved doing sports cultural activities,

809
00:36:34,933 --> 00:36:37,933
Speaker 2: and then at least be be literate. And that's kind

810
00:36:37,933 --> 00:36:40,173
Speaker 2: of my point. My point is that in the energies

811
00:36:40,213 --> 00:36:42,413
Speaker 2: that we're going to spend on freaking out about as

812
00:36:42,453 --> 00:36:46,613
Speaker 2: a country. I think vaping may not be as big

813
00:36:46,613 --> 00:36:49,573
Speaker 2: a problem as we are expending the energy on. I'm

814
00:36:49,613 --> 00:36:52,692
Speaker 2: not saying it's good, but I'm just saying that kids

815
00:36:52,733 --> 00:36:55,493
Speaker 2: will go for something bad. But let's focus on put

816
00:36:55,493 --> 00:36:57,893
Speaker 2: our energies into some really really positive things like that.

817
00:36:58,293 --> 00:37:01,093
Speaker 2: You know, and you can harangue kids into You can

818
00:37:01,133 --> 00:37:03,893
Speaker 2: haran kids a lot, but they will always find something

819
00:37:03,973 --> 00:37:04,493
Speaker 2: naughty to do.

820
00:37:04,853 --> 00:37:09,293
Speaker 3: Absolutely, George, you've got a son who is vaping eighteen?

821
00:37:09,373 --> 00:37:09,733
Speaker 10: Yeah, I do.

822
00:37:10,573 --> 00:37:13,173
Speaker 6: I got a good subject here. I'm just wondering.

823
00:37:13,173 --> 00:37:15,053
Speaker 10: We're about to send the lynch mob to come and

824
00:37:15,133 --> 00:37:17,693
Speaker 10: see you guys, just before.

825
00:37:17,493 --> 00:37:20,773
Speaker 2: You continue, send them to me, Send them to Meyler.

826
00:37:20,893 --> 00:37:23,813
Speaker 2: Tyler's totally idiot.

827
00:37:24,013 --> 00:37:26,053
Speaker 10: Yeah, I think you might have been sniffing a few

828
00:37:26,053 --> 00:37:27,493
Speaker 10: too many of those pins yourself got.

829
00:37:29,613 --> 00:37:29,813
Speaker 15: Yeah.

830
00:37:29,933 --> 00:37:33,093
Speaker 10: Yeah, Look, I've got a sign who started vaping when

831
00:37:33,093 --> 00:37:36,732
Speaker 10: he was eleven. He's now seventeen, and we've basically been

832
00:37:36,773 --> 00:37:40,933
Speaker 10: fighting this beast ever since then. I think it's kind

833
00:37:40,933 --> 00:37:47,013
Speaker 10: of dangerous when we start talking about something is more, yeah,

834
00:37:47,053 --> 00:37:50,853
Speaker 10: it is better than something else. That kind of rhetoric

835
00:37:50,893 --> 00:37:54,373
Speaker 10: I think plays straight into what the big tobacco companies want.

836
00:37:55,173 --> 00:37:57,013
Speaker 10: Because I do think they're laughing all the way to

837
00:37:57,053 --> 00:38:00,333
Speaker 10: the bank with this. You know, I think marking at

838
00:38:00,333 --> 00:38:05,013
Speaker 10: a marketing as a way of getting out of smoking

839
00:38:05,373 --> 00:38:08,493
Speaker 10: is probably a good thing. But I think we're we

840
00:38:08,533 --> 00:38:12,533
Speaker 10: start marketing it with strawberry flavors and candy floss flavors

841
00:38:12,573 --> 00:38:15,533
Speaker 10: and things like that. I don't think the big big

842
00:38:15,573 --> 00:38:18,172
Speaker 10: companies are actually looking at the people that are trying

843
00:38:18,173 --> 00:38:20,293
Speaker 10: to stop smoking. I think they're more looking at bringing

844
00:38:20,373 --> 00:38:23,973
Speaker 10: in new people and specifically children.

845
00:38:24,453 --> 00:38:26,853
Speaker 2: Now, George, but George, would you would you? Would you

846
00:38:26,933 --> 00:38:31,053
Speaker 2: admit though, that kids will find a way to rebel.

847
00:38:32,173 --> 00:38:34,053
Speaker 2: You can't control what that's going to be. But they

848
00:38:34,093 --> 00:38:37,293
Speaker 2: will find teenagers, not all of them, but some of them. Me,

849
00:38:37,413 --> 00:38:39,693
Speaker 2: particularly when I was a kid, were looking for a

850
00:38:39,693 --> 00:38:41,333
Speaker 2: way to rebel. And when I was a kid, I

851
00:38:41,373 --> 00:38:44,413
Speaker 2: looked for a way to avow by basically smoking and

852
00:38:45,333 --> 00:38:47,172
Speaker 2: you know, trying to get hold of any alcohol I could.

853
00:38:47,813 --> 00:38:50,453
Speaker 10: So yeah, I think they will, and I think they'll

854
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:52,253
Speaker 10: always try and find something. I don't think that's a

855
00:38:52,253 --> 00:38:56,773
Speaker 10: good enough excuse to do nothing. And certainly my experience

856
00:38:56,933 --> 00:39:00,413
Speaker 10: is our son's high school is essentially doing nothing.

857
00:39:00,453 --> 00:39:00,652
Speaker 2: Now.

858
00:39:02,053 --> 00:39:06,373
Speaker 10: It's absolutely right, and we've tried everything, like we've been

859
00:39:06,373 --> 00:39:12,053
Speaker 10: the counselors, we've tried quit smoking hotlines. The hotlines don't

860
00:39:12,053 --> 00:39:13,933
Speaker 10: want to know him because he's under eighteen. They can't

861
00:39:13,933 --> 00:39:17,373
Speaker 10: deal with them, so they basically wash their hands. A

862
00:39:17,413 --> 00:39:22,213
Speaker 10: lot of a lot of the information that's out there.

863
00:39:23,693 --> 00:39:26,373
Speaker 10: I think, you know, there's all these goals about stopping

864
00:39:26,373 --> 00:39:29,373
Speaker 10: people smoking by twenty twenty five and stopping smoking by

865
00:39:29,413 --> 00:39:32,653
Speaker 10: twenty thirty that if they can shift people into vaping

866
00:39:33,093 --> 00:39:35,693
Speaker 10: the end, I've achieved their goal. But the problem is,

867
00:39:36,013 --> 00:39:38,813
Speaker 10: you know, we've got all these kids that have never smoked,

868
00:39:38,893 --> 00:39:41,172
Speaker 10: and all of a sudden they are vaping. But all

869
00:39:41,213 --> 00:39:43,493
Speaker 10: the information has kind of aimed at, well, it's not

870
00:39:43,573 --> 00:39:45,813
Speaker 10: as bad as smoking, so you know that's what we

871
00:39:45,853 --> 00:39:48,172
Speaker 10: hear back from our son. Well you know, it's better

872
00:39:48,213 --> 00:39:49,973
Speaker 10: than smoking, And I'm like, yeah, it is, but you've

873
00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:50,453
Speaker 10: never smoked.

874
00:39:50,533 --> 00:39:51,133
Speaker 3: Mate.

875
00:39:51,653 --> 00:39:54,213
Speaker 2: Hey, thanks, sorry, George, We've just we've got to go

876
00:39:54,693 --> 00:39:57,133
Speaker 2: to a break. But thank you so much for the call.

877
00:39:57,253 --> 00:40:00,293
Speaker 2: It was very interesting. And look, I would definitely be

878
00:40:00,773 --> 00:40:02,613
Speaker 2: concerned if my son. Don't get me wrong, if my

879
00:40:02,693 --> 00:40:04,653
Speaker 2: kids were voping at eleven, I would be concerned.

880
00:40:04,773 --> 00:40:07,213
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, Oh eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. We're

881
00:40:07,213 --> 00:40:09,933
Speaker 3: going to carry this on after two o'clock. Really keen

882
00:40:09,933 --> 00:40:12,732
Speaker 3: on your thoughts on this. One. Nine nine two is

883
00:40:12,773 --> 00:40:16,212
Speaker 3: the text number. Some great texts coming through, guys. There

884
00:40:16,293 --> 00:40:18,573
Speaker 3: was a TV program at one point on this. I'm

885
00:40:18,573 --> 00:40:21,893
Speaker 3: a skydiver and most of the younger jumpers were vapors.

886
00:40:21,933 --> 00:40:25,573
Speaker 3: I could see the clouds of bubblegum are coming through.

887
00:40:25,653 --> 00:40:30,213
Speaker 3: Quite funny. Keep those coming through A nine two ninety two.

888
00:40:30,213 --> 00:40:34,212
Speaker 1: Your new home for insightful and entertaining talk. It's Matt

889
00:40:34,253 --> 00:40:37,133
Speaker 1: Heath and Tyler Adams afternoons on.

890
00:40:37,213 --> 00:40:38,253
Speaker 2: News Talk Zebby.

891
00:40:39,173 --> 00:40:42,413
Speaker 3: Welcome back into the show seven past two, and we've

892
00:40:42,453 --> 00:40:45,493
Speaker 3: been having a great conversation about vaping in New Zealand's I'm.

893
00:40:45,333 --> 00:40:48,133
Speaker 2: Gonna have to go into a witness relocation program after this.

894
00:40:48,213 --> 00:40:49,093
Speaker 3: Thy coming for you.

895
00:40:49,133 --> 00:40:51,933
Speaker 2: They're coming for me because all I said. What I

896
00:40:51,933 --> 00:40:54,013
Speaker 2: said I said is of all the things we're freaking

897
00:40:54,013 --> 00:40:56,373
Speaker 2: out about kids, I'm not sure if vaping is the

898
00:40:56,413 --> 00:40:59,573
Speaker 2: big freak out and that kids that we need to

899
00:40:59,573 --> 00:41:01,533
Speaker 2: spend all our energy on freaking out on that. I

900
00:41:01,533 --> 00:41:04,333
Speaker 2: think kids will find a way to rebel. That's happened

901
00:41:04,333 --> 00:41:07,453
Speaker 2: for all of eternity. And all of time when I

902
00:41:07,533 --> 00:41:14,413
Speaker 2: was a kid, they rebelling by smoking and drinking. And actually,

903
00:41:14,493 --> 00:41:15,893
Speaker 2: when I was a kid, there's a lot of people

904
00:41:16,013 --> 00:41:19,213
Speaker 2: sniffing glue. So there's always going to be a vice

905
00:41:19,253 --> 00:41:21,693
Speaker 2: that kids are going for. But the amount of alcohol

906
00:41:21,733 --> 00:41:24,333
Speaker 2: consumption for young people is on the way down, which

907
00:41:24,413 --> 00:41:25,013
Speaker 2: is a positive.

908
00:41:25,053 --> 00:41:25,333
Speaker 3: Yeah.

909
00:41:25,333 --> 00:41:28,693
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So I'm just saying, look, in terms of everything

910
00:41:28,733 --> 00:41:30,812
Speaker 2: that we freak out about, I'm not as worried about

911
00:41:30,853 --> 00:41:32,453
Speaker 2: vaping as I've been worried about a lot of other

912
00:41:32,493 --> 00:41:35,053
Speaker 2: things in the time. Yeah, but that is ye as

913
00:41:35,093 --> 00:41:40,093
Speaker 2: I say, witness relocation, death threats, a lot of anger.

914
00:41:40,253 --> 00:41:42,573
Speaker 2: I've really poked the hornous ness with that opinion.

915
00:41:42,693 --> 00:41:45,493
Speaker 3: You certainly have plenty of texts coming through on nine

916
00:41:45,533 --> 00:41:49,693
Speaker 3: to nine to two. This one Gooday, guys, I agree

917
00:41:49,733 --> 00:41:53,373
Speaker 3: with you Matt's on this one. People will find something else.

918
00:41:53,413 --> 00:41:56,253
Speaker 3: There are a lot of reasons why people go to

919
00:41:56,493 --> 00:41:59,853
Speaker 3: addictions individually, need to address the root causes. But kids

920
00:41:59,853 --> 00:42:00,413
Speaker 3: will rebel.

921
00:42:00,613 --> 00:42:02,692
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's the thing, and you've just got

922
00:42:02,693 --> 00:42:05,853
Speaker 2: to You've got to be careful what you know, You

923
00:42:05,933 --> 00:42:08,172
Speaker 2: really crack down on something and they'll find something else.

924
00:42:08,613 --> 00:42:10,252
Speaker 2: And you don't know that that other thing they find

925
00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:13,333
Speaker 2: isn't going to be worse. And personally, I just think,

926
00:42:13,653 --> 00:42:16,333
Speaker 2: thank goodness, kids aren't smoking as young as they were

927
00:42:16,373 --> 00:42:18,732
Speaker 2: when I was a kid. I mean that was people

928
00:42:18,813 --> 00:42:20,853
Speaker 2: don't even know that. People don't even know like I

929
00:42:20,853 --> 00:42:24,853
Speaker 2: remember once I was at Christmas dinner and with myself

930
00:42:24,893 --> 00:42:28,413
Speaker 2: and my three sisters, and my mum said to my sisters,

931
00:42:28,413 --> 00:42:30,413
Speaker 2: why can't you be good like Matt? He doesn't smoke,

932
00:42:30,453 --> 00:42:33,413
Speaker 2: he doesn't drink. Why can't you be good like him?

933
00:42:33,933 --> 00:42:36,733
Speaker 2: And my sisters went, what are you talking about? He

934
00:42:36,893 --> 00:42:41,413
Speaker 2: is an absolute shocker. And so you don't really know.

935
00:42:41,493 --> 00:42:43,613
Speaker 2: But when I was into me that kids were smoking

936
00:42:43,613 --> 00:42:46,573
Speaker 2: it intermediate, that's when they took it up. And that

937
00:42:46,813 --> 00:42:49,133
Speaker 2: is terrifying that the idea that kids started smoking when

938
00:42:49,133 --> 00:42:51,413
Speaker 2: they were eleven and twelve, that was terrible and that

939
00:42:51,533 --> 00:42:53,973
Speaker 2: isn't happening. That isn't happening at and that's a good thing,

940
00:42:54,053 --> 00:42:57,173
Speaker 2: and that's something to be very happy with in a society.

941
00:42:57,453 --> 00:42:58,933
Speaker 2: So the next thing we do is we move on

942
00:42:58,973 --> 00:43:00,733
Speaker 2: to vapor and we absolutely freak out about it. And

943
00:43:00,733 --> 00:43:02,453
Speaker 2: I'm not saying it's a good thing, but I just

944
00:43:02,493 --> 00:43:05,413
Speaker 2: think we've got to be aware that kids will rebel.

945
00:43:05,533 --> 00:43:09,212
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, Dylan. You started vaping it seen, is that right?

946
00:43:10,173 --> 00:43:14,013
Speaker 19: Yes, yeah, very young. I think mainly it's because I've

947
00:43:14,093 --> 00:43:17,813
Speaker 19: been I was around my parents when they i'd grown up,

948
00:43:17,853 --> 00:43:22,133
Speaker 19: you know, around smokers and around kind of like older groups,

949
00:43:23,253 --> 00:43:26,133
Speaker 19: so it was pretty easy to access got into it

950
00:43:26,133 --> 00:43:28,773
Speaker 19: because you know other people did, and then you know,

951
00:43:28,973 --> 00:43:31,253
Speaker 19: you get a head rush off negatine. It's like one

952
00:43:31,253 --> 00:43:35,413
Speaker 19: of the greatest things you ever fail. And then yeah,

953
00:43:35,813 --> 00:43:39,053
Speaker 19: I did it for years until the start of this year.

954
00:43:39,093 --> 00:43:41,213
Speaker 19: I decided that, you know, it's just I felt that

955
00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:46,133
Speaker 19: it's just well, you know, not made out for it.

956
00:43:46,333 --> 00:43:49,453
Speaker 3: You know, you're just cutting out there a little bit, Dylan,

957
00:43:49,533 --> 00:43:51,493
Speaker 3: So just maybe moved to the left. But you're you're

958
00:43:51,653 --> 00:43:54,093
Speaker 3: nineteen years now and you've managed to quit vaping.

959
00:43:55,093 --> 00:43:59,212
Speaker 19: Yes, yes, I've managed to quit vaping. And I did

960
00:43:59,253 --> 00:44:03,533
Speaker 19: that by actually taking up smoking, which a good bit backwards.

961
00:44:03,573 --> 00:44:06,533
Speaker 19: But I feel like it's easier to quit smoking that

962
00:44:06,653 --> 00:44:07,853
Speaker 19: it was to quit vaping.

963
00:44:08,333 --> 00:44:10,453
Speaker 2: A minute that, Dylan, are you still smoking?

964
00:44:11,333 --> 00:44:15,453
Speaker 19: No, Now, I've fully stopped smoking because I felt it

965
00:44:15,493 --> 00:44:18,853
Speaker 19: was easier to quit smoking cigarette.

966
00:44:18,933 --> 00:44:21,013
Speaker 2: Well, I guess. I mean. The thing is with smoking

967
00:44:21,013 --> 00:44:25,133
Speaker 2: cigarettes is that smoking cigarettes is an incredibly full on thing. Yeah,

968
00:44:25,213 --> 00:44:28,093
Speaker 2: they stink, They make a drama. And one of the

969
00:44:28,133 --> 00:44:30,133
Speaker 2: reasons why it's so easy to vape And tell me

970
00:44:30,133 --> 00:44:31,893
Speaker 2: if I'm wrong, Dylan, but it is because you can

971
00:44:31,933 --> 00:44:35,333
Speaker 2: do it anywhere. It's so convenient. And I don't remember.

972
00:44:35,173 --> 00:44:37,172
Speaker 19: Doing it in math class, you know, like the bang

973
00:44:37,173 --> 00:44:39,293
Speaker 19: of math class, and you could never ever do that

974
00:44:39,413 --> 00:44:41,573
Speaker 19: and with a cigarette because it would stink out the

975
00:44:41,733 --> 00:44:45,652
Speaker 19: entire room. So when I agree with you about when

976
00:44:45,653 --> 00:44:49,853
Speaker 19: you're talking about nicotine, you know, having it obviously has benefits,

977
00:44:49,933 --> 00:44:53,773
Speaker 19: but I feel like it also creates relates more of

978
00:44:53,933 --> 00:44:57,213
Speaker 19: like a reliant you know, people rely on it with

979
00:44:57,253 --> 00:45:00,813
Speaker 19: their stress relieve. I think it suppressed my appetite a lot.

980
00:45:01,093 --> 00:45:02,213
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if it's the.

981
00:45:02,213 --> 00:45:06,013
Speaker 19: Same with other people, but yeah, I feel like, you know,

982
00:45:06,533 --> 00:45:08,293
Speaker 19: their benefit benefiting fact.

983
00:45:08,653 --> 00:45:15,013
Speaker 2: But you know, yeah, I mean there's benefits. There's lots

984
00:45:15,053 --> 00:45:18,333
Speaker 2: of benefits in terms of enhanced memory. It helps ADHD,

985
00:45:18,453 --> 00:45:23,173
Speaker 2: It's been shown to help Alzheona's patients, Parkinson's and fighting diabetes.

986
00:45:23,373 --> 00:45:26,053
Speaker 2: But but the thing is, it's how you take it

987
00:45:26,093 --> 00:45:29,732
Speaker 2: exactly as you're saying, Dylan, Because you're addicted to it,

988
00:45:29,813 --> 00:45:32,413
Speaker 2: So it's not so much the nicotine. And like there's

989
00:45:32,413 --> 00:45:34,333
Speaker 2: a lot of people texting through that nicotine has kind

990
00:45:34,373 --> 00:45:36,213
Speaker 2: of have effects on heart rate and all that kind

991
00:45:36,213 --> 00:45:39,013
Speaker 2: of stuff. I'm not denying any of that, but I'm

992
00:45:39,093 --> 00:45:42,573
Speaker 2: just saying it's not. But the thing is, it's as

993
00:45:42,573 --> 00:45:46,013
Speaker 2: it was with cigarettes. The nicotine got you smoking the cigarettes,

994
00:45:46,053 --> 00:45:48,573
Speaker 2: and that was a bad thing. And if the nicoturitine

995
00:45:48,613 --> 00:45:50,453
Speaker 2: and the addiction to that is making you vaping and

996
00:45:50,493 --> 00:45:52,973
Speaker 2: that's not making you have that's an addiction that's making

997
00:45:52,973 --> 00:45:55,413
Speaker 2: your life worse, then of course the nicotine is not

998
00:45:55,453 --> 00:45:57,253
Speaker 2: a good thing because it's because it's getting you to

999
00:45:57,293 --> 00:45:58,813
Speaker 2: do something that you don't want to do and you

1000
00:45:59,293 --> 00:46:01,053
Speaker 2: are dependent on it.

1001
00:46:01,133 --> 00:46:04,653
Speaker 19: And in vaping, I know that the amount of nicotine

1002
00:46:04,773 --> 00:46:10,133
Speaker 19: in the vape liquid is significantly higher than in sea. Yeah,

1003
00:46:10,213 --> 00:46:13,773
Speaker 19: I'm pretty sure one drag of a vape of fifty

1004
00:46:14,213 --> 00:46:17,413
Speaker 19: or five percent, which is about fifty milligrams of nicotine,

1005
00:46:17,933 --> 00:46:21,493
Speaker 19: is equal to her smoking I think seven cigarettes at once,

1006
00:46:21,733 --> 00:46:23,613
Speaker 19: as in the nicotine side of it.

1007
00:46:23,853 --> 00:46:27,613
Speaker 3: Yeah, so why did changing to cigarettes help you quit? Dylan?

1008
00:46:27,693 --> 00:46:29,652
Speaker 3: That you couldn't do it all the time, You had

1009
00:46:29,653 --> 00:46:31,693
Speaker 3: to go out and have a cigarettes and perhaps you

1010
00:46:31,693 --> 00:46:34,333
Speaker 3: didn't like the flat a taste of it. I just

1011
00:46:34,493 --> 00:46:36,732
Speaker 3: can't understand why that got you off. Is that those

1012
00:46:36,813 --> 00:46:39,133
Speaker 3: those are the core reasons.

1013
00:46:38,413 --> 00:46:40,973
Speaker 19: Mainly, Mainly that, and I feel like it was a

1014
00:46:40,973 --> 00:46:42,293
Speaker 19: lot harsher on my lungs.

1015
00:46:43,053 --> 00:46:43,573
Speaker 12: It was a lot.

1016
00:46:44,733 --> 00:46:49,252
Speaker 19: It's a different type of smoke, you know, it's like tar,

1017
00:46:49,413 --> 00:46:54,213
Speaker 19: It's not whatever cotton burning is in a vape. I

1018
00:46:54,253 --> 00:46:57,973
Speaker 19: feel like, you know, maybe this it's just me, but

1019
00:46:58,013 --> 00:47:01,053
Speaker 19: I know that vaping wets your lungs and then smoking

1020
00:47:01,133 --> 00:47:02,813
Speaker 19: dries it out. So I feel like it kind of

1021
00:47:02,893 --> 00:47:06,533
Speaker 19: just sweat as it sounds it kind of altered. And

1022
00:47:06,573 --> 00:47:08,613
Speaker 19: then the smell of it, And then I was always

1023
00:47:08,653 --> 00:47:11,053
Speaker 19: having to have gum, and it's all this effort. You know,

1024
00:47:11,093 --> 00:47:12,853
Speaker 19: you can't just pully vape out your pocket and use it.

1025
00:47:12,973 --> 00:47:15,933
Speaker 19: You have to go go outside and have a cigarette.

1026
00:47:16,333 --> 00:47:18,573
Speaker 19: It just became not worth it and it was too

1027
00:47:18,613 --> 00:47:20,213
Speaker 19: much of my lungs, and I just, yeah, I just

1028
00:47:20,213 --> 00:47:21,333
Speaker 19: slowly stopped over time.

1029
00:47:21,613 --> 00:47:23,253
Speaker 2: That's an interesting thing. I mean, there's there's a lot

1030
00:47:23,253 --> 00:47:25,813
Speaker 2: more Edmond around smoking, But how did smoking make you

1031
00:47:25,893 --> 00:47:28,293
Speaker 2: feel compared to vaping.

1032
00:47:31,733 --> 00:47:35,253
Speaker 19: It's it's kind of like straight, like a like a whiskey.

1033
00:47:35,293 --> 00:47:36,933
Speaker 19: You know, you kind of get like a taste for it.

1034
00:47:37,013 --> 00:47:39,693
Speaker 19: You know, first year, first cigarette, Oh, it tastes disgusting,

1035
00:47:39,813 --> 00:47:42,453
Speaker 19: it's all this, but then over time you get a

1036
00:47:42,533 --> 00:47:44,973
Speaker 19: taste for it. I just felt that, you know, you

1037
00:47:45,053 --> 00:47:49,853
Speaker 19: can have it strawberry, guava, vapor, beny, you get all

1038
00:47:49,853 --> 00:47:53,172
Speaker 19: these flavors and colors, and yeah, it's a lot more

1039
00:47:53,213 --> 00:47:55,933
Speaker 19: appealing to the eye and appealing to other people. But

1040
00:47:55,973 --> 00:47:59,213
Speaker 19: then you have this cigarette in the packet that's got

1041
00:47:59,573 --> 00:48:00,373
Speaker 19: these dried.

1042
00:48:00,213 --> 00:48:01,133
Speaker 10: Up lungs on it.

1043
00:48:01,133 --> 00:48:04,853
Speaker 19: It's just it's a lot of a social impression. I

1044
00:48:04,853 --> 00:48:05,853
Speaker 19: feel like as well.

1045
00:48:05,893 --> 00:48:09,652
Speaker 2: It's interesting. I read this book on addiction and it

1046
00:48:09,693 --> 00:48:12,733
Speaker 2: was both a neuroscientist called Dr Judson Brewer, and he

1047
00:48:12,853 --> 00:48:14,733
Speaker 2: was talking about he'd have people that had smoked their

1048
00:48:14,733 --> 00:48:17,573
Speaker 2: whole lives and they'd never concentrated on a cigarette, and

1049
00:48:17,613 --> 00:48:21,093
Speaker 2: he used mindfulness to get people off the cigarettes. And

1050
00:48:21,133 --> 00:48:24,493
Speaker 2: so he'd say, okay, smoke the cigarette and concentrate on

1051
00:48:24,653 --> 00:48:29,212
Speaker 2: every flavor as it goes in. And generally speaking, he said,

1052
00:48:29,253 --> 00:48:32,493
Speaker 2: people were disgusted by what they tasted as it as

1053
00:48:32,533 --> 00:48:35,453
Speaker 2: it went in, and that's one thing that vape doesn't have.

1054
00:48:35,653 --> 00:48:39,533
Speaker 2: I mean, if you really concentrated on the flavor of vape,

1055
00:48:39,573 --> 00:48:42,172
Speaker 2: it's actually pretty good. Yeah, yereas if you actually as

1056
00:48:42,253 --> 00:48:44,293
Speaker 2: much as we think that the taste of cigarettes is good,

1057
00:48:44,293 --> 00:48:47,453
Speaker 2: if you actually super concentrate on it, it does taste

1058
00:48:47,493 --> 00:48:48,013
Speaker 2: like poison.

1059
00:48:48,213 --> 00:48:51,212
Speaker 3: They were pretty faeral. Yeah, oh eight hundred eights.

1060
00:48:51,213 --> 00:48:52,653
Speaker 2: So much for you call Dylan, it was really interesting.

1061
00:48:52,653 --> 00:48:53,253
Speaker 2: Thanks for sharing.

1062
00:48:54,013 --> 00:48:56,213
Speaker 3: One hundred and eighty ten eighty is the number to call.

1063
00:48:56,293 --> 00:48:59,013
Speaker 3: Nine two ninety two is the text number. It is

1064
00:48:59,093 --> 00:49:03,893
Speaker 3: bang on quarter past two.

1065
00:49:02,253 --> 00:49:07,213
Speaker 1: Your new home of afternoon torm Taylor Adams afternoon call, Oh,

1066
00:49:07,293 --> 00:49:09,613
Speaker 1: eight hundred eighty ty News talk.

1067
00:49:11,333 --> 00:49:13,853
Speaker 3: Good afternoon, eighteen past two. We have been talking about

1068
00:49:13,933 --> 00:49:15,293
Speaker 3: vaping in New Zealand.

1069
00:49:15,453 --> 00:49:15,692
Speaker 10: Die.

1070
00:49:15,813 --> 00:49:20,893
Speaker 3: You're a former smoker, I am, And do you vaporor

1071
00:49:20,973 --> 00:49:22,893
Speaker 3: you just missed out vaping altogether?

1072
00:49:23,213 --> 00:49:26,333
Speaker 5: In fact, in fact, when vaping came out, I thought,

1073
00:49:26,373 --> 00:49:31,693
Speaker 5: what the hell, how backward is that? And seriously like,

1074
00:49:32,333 --> 00:49:35,573
Speaker 5: I'm right behind what Australia's doing. I think it's great.

1075
00:49:35,613 --> 00:49:38,493
Speaker 5: There's so many better alternatives to do in life than

1076
00:49:38,773 --> 00:49:43,013
Speaker 5: either smoking or vaping. But do you remember going back

1077
00:49:43,653 --> 00:49:47,653
Speaker 5: to the days of when we had these synthetic cannabis yep.

1078
00:49:49,093 --> 00:49:51,933
Speaker 5: And I was living in Australia when i'd come back

1079
00:49:52,093 --> 00:49:55,293
Speaker 5: here on holidays to New Zealand, and I'd see that

1080
00:49:55,533 --> 00:49:58,333
Speaker 5: young people could buy it from milk bars and things

1081
00:49:59,213 --> 00:50:01,212
Speaker 5: or Darius, and I used to think, what the hell

1082
00:50:01,453 --> 00:50:05,733
Speaker 5: is this? This is rubbish. Don't people realize the damage?

1083
00:50:05,773 --> 00:50:09,133
Speaker 5: And you know, once people actually got on board and

1084
00:50:09,213 --> 00:50:12,453
Speaker 5: said this is really bad, get rid of it. It's

1085
00:50:12,493 --> 00:50:17,013
Speaker 5: all about mindset, and yeah, in terms of smoking, having

1086
00:50:17,093 --> 00:50:20,213
Speaker 5: been a smoker and someone who's done a lot of

1087
00:50:20,253 --> 00:50:24,573
Speaker 5: sport and enjoyed the outdoors and everything, it's about choices,

1088
00:50:25,173 --> 00:50:29,053
Speaker 5: deciding that you know, you want to stop smoking, you

1089
00:50:29,093 --> 00:50:31,413
Speaker 5: want to do X, y Z, and just getting on

1090
00:50:31,533 --> 00:50:31,893
Speaker 5: with it.

1091
00:50:32,173 --> 00:50:35,413
Speaker 2: Hey, Die, how did you you know, obviously famously difficult

1092
00:50:35,413 --> 00:50:37,973
Speaker 2: to give up smoking, how did you go about it? Die?

1093
00:50:38,933 --> 00:50:41,772
Speaker 5: Well, I've been smoking for many years and being really

1094
00:50:41,813 --> 00:50:45,133
Speaker 5: healthy with it. So I just decided I got sick

1095
00:50:45,253 --> 00:50:47,853
Speaker 5: of it. I did not did not want to do

1096
00:50:47,893 --> 00:50:50,773
Speaker 5: it anymore. And so what I did. I actually smoked

1097
00:50:50,773 --> 00:50:51,693
Speaker 5: the very weak ones.

1098
00:50:52,373 --> 00:50:53,533
Speaker 14: Yeah, and I cut them.

1099
00:50:53,413 --> 00:50:56,933
Speaker 5: Back from about ten a day down to six, down

1100
00:50:57,053 --> 00:51:00,813
Speaker 5: to four, down to two. When I got down to one,

1101
00:51:01,213 --> 00:51:04,053
Speaker 5: I just said that's it. I bought a packet. I

1102
00:51:04,093 --> 00:51:06,133
Speaker 5: don't need it, I don't need to open it. I'm

1103
00:51:06,133 --> 00:51:08,973
Speaker 5: not going to have another cigarette. And that was nearly

1104
00:51:09,013 --> 00:51:14,293
Speaker 5: three months, agots, and I'm just determined. I don't want

1105
00:51:14,293 --> 00:51:17,733
Speaker 5: to go back there. And I understand what you're saying

1106
00:51:17,813 --> 00:51:22,573
Speaker 5: that about rebellious, but Matt, I've seen a lot of people,

1107
00:51:24,293 --> 00:51:28,813
Speaker 5: you know, kids, adults, all sorts who are rebellious, got

1108
00:51:28,893 --> 00:51:32,333
Speaker 5: that spirit, and that just means that someone needs a

1109
00:51:32,413 --> 00:51:36,093
Speaker 5: bit more guidance or a different guidance into you know,

1110
00:51:36,213 --> 00:51:38,533
Speaker 5: putting their energy where they're going to get a lot

1111
00:51:38,573 --> 00:51:42,933
Speaker 5: better back from consequences of their actions. So I don't

1112
00:51:42,973 --> 00:51:47,533
Speaker 5: think it's any reason not to ban. They think we

1113
00:51:47,693 --> 00:51:50,253
Speaker 5: just need to get a whole different attitude to it.

1114
00:51:50,853 --> 00:51:53,413
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think I would say, though die because

1115
00:51:53,453 --> 00:51:55,533
Speaker 2: I was an incredibly rebellious kid, but I had a

1116
00:51:55,653 --> 00:52:00,013
Speaker 2: very loving family and every reason not to rebel. I

1117
00:52:00,013 --> 00:52:02,333
Speaker 2: felt like I just had a rebellious gene in me

1118
00:52:02,453 --> 00:52:05,133
Speaker 2: that made me wanted to do things that I shouldn't do.

1119
00:52:05,213 --> 00:52:09,213
Speaker 2: And I'm and all I'm saying is I that manifested

1120
00:52:09,213 --> 00:52:11,333
Speaker 2: in me taking up smoking at a very young age.

1121
00:52:11,693 --> 00:52:14,293
Speaker 2: And I just think that vaping is better than that.

1122
00:52:15,853 --> 00:52:18,893
Speaker 5: I'm not saying your family wasn't loving it. It's a totally

1123
00:52:18,893 --> 00:52:23,652
Speaker 5: different thing. But rebelliousness is you know, it comes from

1124
00:52:23,693 --> 00:52:26,212
Speaker 5: a whole lot of different things in the spirit, right,

1125
00:52:27,573 --> 00:52:32,213
Speaker 5: It just needs different set of guidance. I've seen people,

1126
00:52:32,893 --> 00:52:35,172
Speaker 5: you know, I've done a bit of sailing, yep, and

1127
00:52:35,213 --> 00:52:42,293
Speaker 5: I've seen some really hardline rebellious you know, boy, really

1128
00:52:42,653 --> 00:52:48,133
Speaker 5: tough characters out at sea on yachts and you see

1129
00:52:48,173 --> 00:52:50,693
Speaker 5: different all different sort of attitudes. And there's room for

1130
00:52:50,773 --> 00:52:56,573
Speaker 5: everyone in life. But it's about different things inspire different

1131
00:52:56,613 --> 00:52:58,773
Speaker 5: people to take a different path.

1132
00:52:59,613 --> 00:53:01,733
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. And there's no doubt if there was more

1133
00:53:02,493 --> 00:53:05,373
Speaker 2: inspiring things for people. And we've had a few texts

1134
00:53:05,373 --> 00:53:08,573
Speaker 2: on that that are kind of agreeing with me. But yeah,

1135
00:53:08,573 --> 00:53:10,933
Speaker 2: if we if we focus on getting kids and giving

1136
00:53:11,053 --> 00:53:14,853
Speaker 2: showing them opportunities and things that really really important and

1137
00:53:15,093 --> 00:53:18,613
Speaker 2: inspire them and show them a different world, then vaping

1138
00:53:18,653 --> 00:53:21,813
Speaker 2: will will will be way down on their list of priorities.

1139
00:53:22,213 --> 00:53:24,493
Speaker 2: It's just a matter of finding that right thing for

1140
00:53:24,533 --> 00:53:27,173
Speaker 2: each kid, and that's that's difficult to do. There's limited

1141
00:53:27,213 --> 00:53:28,053
Speaker 2: resources out there.

1142
00:53:30,133 --> 00:53:33,333
Speaker 5: Thanks so much, guys, But I do think it begins

1143
00:53:33,893 --> 00:53:38,413
Speaker 5: with doing what Australia is saying. Yep, you know zerohtolerance,

1144
00:53:38,533 --> 00:53:41,533
Speaker 5: that's it, banning it from schools, bang, thank you.

1145
00:53:42,493 --> 00:53:44,933
Speaker 3: I'm just going to say, oh, thank you, die that's

1146
00:53:44,933 --> 00:53:46,973
Speaker 3: a right. I'm just saying I needs to shoot off.

1147
00:53:46,973 --> 00:53:49,933
Speaker 3: But for the vaping. For me, and I've had many

1148
00:53:49,973 --> 00:53:53,813
Speaker 3: attempts to quit smoking in cigarettes, and for whatever reason,

1149
00:53:53,933 --> 00:53:57,213
Speaker 3: vaping was the one thing that is meant that I

1150
00:53:57,253 --> 00:54:00,453
Speaker 3: haven't smoked a ciggy in about five years, and I

1151
00:54:00,453 --> 00:54:03,013
Speaker 3: think that's a good thing overall. But I know I'm

1152
00:54:03,093 --> 00:54:04,933
Speaker 3: just one case of many. But to me, I think

1153
00:54:05,013 --> 00:54:07,013
Speaker 3: vaping has been has been successful for a lot of

1154
00:54:07,053 --> 00:54:10,053
Speaker 3: people to get off rats, which are far worse for

1155
00:54:10,093 --> 00:54:10,533
Speaker 3: your health.

1156
00:54:10,693 --> 00:54:12,413
Speaker 2: This Texas good that's come through a ninety two nine

1157
00:54:12,413 --> 00:54:14,893
Speaker 2: two Hi guys, vapors look like they're walking around sucking

1158
00:54:14,933 --> 00:54:17,212
Speaker 2: on baby's bottles from Laurie. It is. I mean, there's

1159
00:54:17,253 --> 00:54:20,413
Speaker 2: no doubt it's not cool because because look, smoking is

1160
00:54:20,413 --> 00:54:23,293
Speaker 2: in pretty bad for you. But and this was orchestrated

1161
00:54:23,333 --> 00:54:25,373
Speaker 2: by the smoking companies to get it into movies. But

1162
00:54:25,453 --> 00:54:27,373
Speaker 2: there was a way you can smoke that looks cool.

1163
00:54:27,613 --> 00:54:29,573
Speaker 2: It's terrible for you. And I don't support it. But

1164
00:54:29,613 --> 00:54:32,333
Speaker 2: it looks cool. But there is absolutely no way you

1165
00:54:32,373 --> 00:54:34,533
Speaker 2: can vapor and look cool. Now it is the least

1166
00:54:34,813 --> 00:54:39,533
Speaker 2: cool looking thing you can do and look hopefully, maybe

1167
00:54:39,533 --> 00:54:41,053
Speaker 2: people just need to look in the mirror when they

1168
00:54:41,253 --> 00:54:44,093
Speaker 2: when they see themselves sucking on the douce flute.

1169
00:54:44,173 --> 00:54:46,613
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, eight hundred eighty ten eighty is the number

1170
00:54:46,653 --> 00:54:48,212
Speaker 3: to call. Twenty three pass.

1171
00:54:47,893 --> 00:54:56,493
Speaker 1: Two Matt Heathen, Tyler Adams afternoons cool Oh eight hundred

1172
00:54:56,573 --> 00:54:58,293
Speaker 1: eighty ten eighty on us talk.

1173
00:54:58,173 --> 00:55:00,172
Speaker 3: ZB it is twenty five pass two.

1174
00:55:00,653 --> 00:55:02,252
Speaker 2: They've got a text here at ninety two nine two.

1175
00:55:02,333 --> 00:55:04,933
Speaker 2: Really teach your kids self discipline. You've got to have

1176
00:55:04,973 --> 00:55:07,493
Speaker 2: self discipline yourself to be a role model to your child.

1177
00:55:07,453 --> 00:55:09,013
Speaker 2: And not all kids want for a our good kids

1178
00:55:09,053 --> 00:55:12,013
Speaker 2: are good adults grow up. That's that's that's a that's

1179
00:55:12,013 --> 00:55:14,533
Speaker 2: a very hopeful way to look at the world. I

1180
00:55:14,573 --> 00:55:17,973
Speaker 2: think a lot of kids will rebel and a lot

1181
00:55:18,013 --> 00:55:20,173
Speaker 2: of kids won't. And no point did I say that

1182
00:55:20,453 --> 00:55:22,253
Speaker 2: the kids that don't rebel. I just said there's a

1183
00:55:22,293 --> 00:55:25,093
Speaker 2: certain amount of kids that will rebel. And of course

1184
00:55:25,173 --> 00:55:28,533
Speaker 2: role models are great and opportunities are great for kids,

1185
00:55:28,573 --> 00:55:30,172
Speaker 2: and we need to offer them as many as they can,

1186
00:55:30,413 --> 00:55:33,693
Speaker 2: but a certain amount of kids will rebel, and vaping

1187
00:55:33,773 --> 00:55:36,053
Speaker 2: is the way they're rebelling. And all I'm saying is

1188
00:55:36,173 --> 00:55:40,533
Speaker 2: vaping is not as bad as smoking in terms of rebel.

1189
00:55:40,613 --> 00:55:42,453
Speaker 2: So let's put that in the band and say, look,

1190
00:55:42,453 --> 00:55:44,732
Speaker 2: we've achieved something good. Kids are drinking less and they're

1191
00:55:44,773 --> 00:55:47,973
Speaker 2: smoking less, and that that is something we can hang

1192
00:55:48,053 --> 00:55:50,813
Speaker 2: a hat on. And as and this text center will

1193
00:55:50,853 --> 00:55:54,053
Speaker 2: grow up. I will never grow up over, I can

1194
00:55:54,093 --> 00:55:56,373
Speaker 2: promise you right now, text, I will never grow up.

1195
00:55:56,853 --> 00:55:58,253
Speaker 3: And how are you this afternoon?

1196
00:55:59,253 --> 00:56:01,453
Speaker 18: I'm really angry with you time oh with me?

1197
00:56:01,693 --> 00:56:02,013
Speaker 3: Okay?

1198
00:56:02,533 --> 00:56:02,773
Speaker 14: With that?

1199
00:56:04,333 --> 00:56:07,813
Speaker 18: Look, news talk is really the place of radio and

1200
00:56:07,893 --> 00:56:11,813
Speaker 18: New zeal And. We hear the ads that the likes

1201
00:56:11,813 --> 00:56:14,773
Speaker 18: of you and Marcus and Mike and we can trust.

1202
00:56:15,253 --> 00:56:19,133
Speaker 18: And I'm really disappointed to hear you is one of

1203
00:56:19,173 --> 00:56:22,733
Speaker 18: these people on z B that we trust say that

1204
00:56:23,373 --> 00:56:27,373
Speaker 18: you are vaping and it's okay, even if you don't

1205
00:56:27,693 --> 00:56:29,133
Speaker 18: like doing it, it's okay.

1206
00:56:29,293 --> 00:56:32,692
Speaker 2: And in this defense, you're actually angry at me. He

1207
00:56:32,693 --> 00:56:35,893
Speaker 2: said it was he vaped and it wasn't okay. Yeah,

1208
00:56:36,053 --> 00:56:37,733
Speaker 2: so you're actually angry at me, not Tyler, So that

1209
00:56:37,813 --> 00:56:39,613
Speaker 2: that's unfairsh.

1210
00:56:39,293 --> 00:56:40,453
Speaker 18: Sorry, I'm angry at Tyler.

1211
00:56:40,653 --> 00:56:42,693
Speaker 2: No, no, you're angry at Matt. You're angry at me.

1212
00:56:43,013 --> 00:56:45,853
Speaker 18: I want to be angry at Tyler anyone.

1213
00:56:45,893 --> 00:56:46,933
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you to be angry.

1214
00:56:47,093 --> 00:56:49,453
Speaker 3: You can be angry at both of them.

1215
00:56:50,133 --> 00:56:53,373
Speaker 18: I'm angry at anyone that vapes. Well, I mean, honestly,

1216
00:56:54,453 --> 00:56:59,253
Speaker 18: to hear people say vaping is better than smoking is ridiculous.

1217
00:57:00,093 --> 00:57:01,733
Speaker 3: Well, and I just got to jump in here and

1218
00:57:01,733 --> 00:57:04,413
Speaker 3: defend myself. Here is that I see quite clearly that

1219
00:57:04,453 --> 00:57:07,093
Speaker 3: I want to get off the vapes. But for whatever reason,

1220
00:57:07,893 --> 00:57:09,453
Speaker 3: this has been and the only thing that got me

1221
00:57:09,533 --> 00:57:13,413
Speaker 3: off smoking cigarettes. That is why, in my personal situation,

1222
00:57:13,613 --> 00:57:16,173
Speaker 3: I am in favor of using them as a device

1223
00:57:16,253 --> 00:57:18,733
Speaker 3: to get off smoking cigarettes. It has worked for me,

1224
00:57:18,773 --> 00:57:21,853
Speaker 3: and I've tried three different methods to quit nicotine, and

1225
00:57:21,893 --> 00:57:23,693
Speaker 3: a lot of people will come through the text machine,

1226
00:57:23,733 --> 00:57:25,533
Speaker 3: as they have for the last hour and a half, saying,

1227
00:57:25,693 --> 00:57:28,333
Speaker 3: get hard, tier, you know, get some willpower, just quit

1228
00:57:28,413 --> 00:57:31,613
Speaker 3: what's wrong with you? But for whatever reason, I cannot,

1229
00:57:31,973 --> 00:57:34,773
Speaker 3: and I've tried all sorts of things. So for me,

1230
00:57:35,293 --> 00:57:37,813
Speaker 3: vaping has been an effective way to get off the cigarettes,

1231
00:57:37,813 --> 00:57:38,933
Speaker 3: and that's better for my health.

1232
00:57:39,813 --> 00:57:40,013
Speaker 14: YEP.

1233
00:57:40,693 --> 00:57:43,253
Speaker 18: And I accept that, and that's why I went on

1234
00:57:43,413 --> 00:57:47,733
Speaker 18: to vaping after decades of smoking. And I'll tell you what.

1235
00:57:48,413 --> 00:57:52,333
Speaker 18: After vaping, I ended up in the hospital. There is

1236
00:57:52,373 --> 00:57:56,373
Speaker 18: something known as vaping pneumonia, and it's what I got.

1237
00:57:57,013 --> 00:58:01,013
Speaker 18: I heard one of your earlier callers saying, gee, what

1238
00:58:01,333 --> 00:58:06,653
Speaker 18: are the repercussions of sucking in this moisture? Now, not

1239
00:58:06,693 --> 00:58:10,053
Speaker 18: only are you sucking in moisture, you are sucking in

1240
00:58:10,133 --> 00:58:13,773
Speaker 18: the oil from that little vaping machine. And what it

1241
00:58:13,813 --> 00:58:17,453
Speaker 18: does is it sits in the bottom of your lungs

1242
00:58:17,813 --> 00:58:22,253
Speaker 18: and it destroys lung tissue. And people just are not

1243
00:58:22,373 --> 00:58:25,453
Speaker 18: aware of this. People are dying in the United States

1244
00:58:25,653 --> 00:58:29,133
Speaker 18: from vaping too much. So look, I admire you that

1245
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:35,293
Speaker 18: you're trying to get off cigarettes. But again, you can

1246
00:58:35,493 --> 00:58:40,093
Speaker 18: vape without the nicotine, or you can slowly reduce the

1247
00:58:40,213 --> 00:58:44,373
Speaker 18: nicotine and the vapes. But even if you've got down

1248
00:58:44,413 --> 00:58:48,253
Speaker 18: to vaping with no nicotine in it, you are still

1249
00:58:48,413 --> 00:58:54,373
Speaker 18: sucking in that oil, which is a killer. Now I've

1250
00:58:54,413 --> 00:58:57,933
Speaker 18: now got COPD and that's going to live with me

1251
00:58:58,053 --> 00:59:01,773
Speaker 18: for the rest of my life. I have antibiotics and

1252
00:59:02,093 --> 00:59:05,693
Speaker 18: steroids sitting at home for every time my lungs flare

1253
00:59:05,853 --> 00:59:10,173
Speaker 18: up because of the vaping that I did and the

1254
00:59:10,333 --> 00:59:11,853
Speaker 18: damage it did to my lungs.

1255
00:59:12,013 --> 00:59:14,453
Speaker 2: Okay, well, thank you so much for your call. And interesting,

1256
00:59:14,493 --> 00:59:17,973
Speaker 2: I'd love to see those studies around the effects of

1257
00:59:18,533 --> 00:59:21,733
Speaker 2: vaping over smoking. We did a lot of research, and

1258
00:59:21,773 --> 00:59:25,893
Speaker 2: we couldn't find anything that suggested that vaping was anywhere

1259
00:59:25,893 --> 00:59:29,413
Speaker 2: near as bad as smoking cigarettes. But having said that,

1260
00:59:29,493 --> 00:59:31,973
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that vaping isn't bad. I'm just saying

1261
00:59:32,013 --> 00:59:33,933
Speaker 2: that we live in a world with his trade offs,

1262
00:59:34,013 --> 00:59:37,973
Speaker 2: and vaping is better as far as I can see

1263
00:59:37,973 --> 00:59:41,893
Speaker 2: in research then smoking cigarettes, and that there's a lot

1264
00:59:41,893 --> 00:59:44,733
Speaker 2: of health benefits to nicotine. It's not to suggest that

1265
00:59:44,773 --> 00:59:48,293
Speaker 2: you should you should just be vaping away, but it

1266
00:59:48,293 --> 00:59:49,853
Speaker 2: would be very odd for me if you were just

1267
00:59:49,933 --> 00:59:53,173
Speaker 2: vaping without the nicotine, because then you get in nothing exactly.

1268
00:59:53,333 --> 00:59:55,253
Speaker 3: And how did I call the fury of van I

1269
00:59:55,253 --> 00:59:59,733
Speaker 3: mean it started off that everybody wanted to I tried.

1270
00:59:59,493 --> 01:00:02,853
Speaker 2: To convince her to put her fury on me, but

1271
01:00:03,333 --> 01:00:06,093
Speaker 2: she had her eyes sit on you, and good on her.

1272
01:00:06,373 --> 01:00:08,133
Speaker 2: Good on her for the call. Look, I'll take any

1273
01:00:08,533 --> 01:00:12,453
Speaker 2: that are angry at Tyler absolute Let's bring them through. Hey,

1274
01:00:13,013 --> 01:00:15,613
Speaker 2: but we are moving on from the subject. Now, we

1275
01:00:15,693 --> 01:00:17,773
Speaker 2: certainly are, there's been a good discussion. Just get moving

1276
01:00:17,813 --> 01:00:20,213
Speaker 2: on to the subject, or move myself into witness relocation

1277
01:00:20,613 --> 01:00:24,013
Speaker 2: and we'll move on to a happy subject where people

1278
01:00:24,133 --> 01:00:26,293
Speaker 2: aren't going to be nearly as angry at me.

1279
01:00:26,493 --> 01:00:27,933
Speaker 3: Yeah, well maybe which.

1280
01:00:27,733 --> 01:00:28,693
Speaker 2: Won't be nearly as fun for me.

1281
01:00:29,173 --> 01:00:31,973
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's coming up very shortly. It is twenty nine

1282
01:00:32,013 --> 01:00:32,653
Speaker 3: to three.

1283
01:00:35,613 --> 01:00:38,813
Speaker 1: You talks, it'd be headlines with blue bubble taxis.

1284
01:00:38,893 --> 01:00:41,973
Speaker 16: It's no trouble with a blue bubble. Health New Zealand

1285
01:00:41,973 --> 01:00:45,933
Speaker 16: has told staff it's proposing to disestablish roles, with one

1286
01:00:45,973 --> 01:00:49,133
Speaker 16: on one meetings to be set up. It's pursuing major

1287
01:00:49,213 --> 01:00:53,493
Speaker 16: savings and more than four hundred voluntary redundancy applications were

1288
01:00:53,493 --> 01:00:57,813
Speaker 16: approved last month. Then, while GP practice owners say thus

1289
01:00:57,893 --> 01:01:01,173
Speaker 16: still waiting for a new funding model a year after

1290
01:01:01,213 --> 01:01:05,093
Speaker 16: the government formed with all its parties supporting change pre election,

1291
01:01:05,613 --> 01:01:07,973
Speaker 16: Minister Shane that it Is says he anticipates seeing a

1292
01:01:08,013 --> 01:01:12,173
Speaker 16: review this year. Phone data is being used to paint

1293
01:01:12,213 --> 01:01:16,453
Speaker 16: detailed connections between murder accused King Jun Chau and his

1294
01:01:16,533 --> 01:01:20,893
Speaker 16: alleged victim. It includes corresponding location and search data for

1295
01:01:21,293 --> 01:01:26,133
Speaker 16: Yan Fei Bao and accused and a graphic photograph. Far

1296
01:01:26,253 --> 01:01:31,733
Speaker 16: Mac changing its main funded brand of hrt estradial patches

1297
01:01:32,053 --> 01:01:37,013
Speaker 16: from next July. Is hoping to combat a supply shortage

1298
01:01:37,093 --> 01:01:40,013
Speaker 16: in New Zealand expects its first half earnings to drop,

1299
01:01:40,333 --> 01:01:45,293
Speaker 16: partially blaming global issues with maintenance and fleet supplies. Prime

1300
01:01:45,293 --> 01:01:49,013
Speaker 16: Minister Chris Luxen says inheriting a dysfunctional National Party in

1301
01:01:49,053 --> 01:01:52,653
Speaker 16: twenty twenty one prepared him well for managing a three

1302
01:01:52,773 --> 01:01:56,813
Speaker 16: party coalition. Seymore At ends at Herald Premium back to

1303
01:01:56,853 --> 01:01:58,173
Speaker 16: Matt Eath and Tyler Adams.

1304
01:01:58,213 --> 01:01:58,973
Speaker 3: Thank you, Rayleane.

1305
01:01:59,013 --> 01:02:01,013
Speaker 2: We're going to move on from vaping to love now

1306
01:02:01,053 --> 01:02:02,573
Speaker 2: before we go. There's something I just want to mention

1307
01:02:02,653 --> 01:02:05,973
Speaker 2: before and to you too, Tyler. Yeah, in terms of addiction,

1308
01:02:06,093 --> 01:02:11,893
Speaker 2: because you're horribly addicted to Veymac. Shocking, shocking. There's this

1309
01:02:12,053 --> 01:02:14,093
Speaker 2: I always bring this up because it's the best thing

1310
01:02:14,133 --> 01:02:17,493
Speaker 2: I've ever read on addiction, and it is a man

1311
01:02:17,533 --> 01:02:20,573
Speaker 2: that's been incredibly successful getting people off smoking cocaine everything.

1312
01:02:20,613 --> 01:02:22,613
Speaker 2: His name is doctor Judson Brewer. Put it up for

1313
01:02:22,613 --> 01:02:24,173
Speaker 2: a few people are texting. The name of the book

1314
01:02:24,293 --> 01:02:27,613
Speaker 2: is The Craving Mind by doctor Judson Brewer, and it

1315
01:02:27,693 --> 01:02:29,693
Speaker 2: is just a look into why we have habits and

1316
01:02:29,693 --> 01:02:33,293
Speaker 2: how we can fight them. And he argues that there's

1317
01:02:33,293 --> 01:02:35,853
Speaker 2: not much difference between any of our addictions. They're kind

1318
01:02:35,853 --> 01:02:37,853
Speaker 2: of the same things being repeated over and over again

1319
01:02:37,893 --> 01:02:43,773
Speaker 2: with it's vaping or digital addiction, smoking cocaine, whatever it is,

1320
01:02:43,893 --> 01:02:46,053
Speaker 2: other addictions in our life. We all have them, even

1321
01:02:46,373 --> 01:02:49,213
Speaker 2: our eating addictions as well social media. So I thoroughly

1322
01:02:49,253 --> 01:02:52,253
Speaker 2: recommend that to people if you're strugging with addiction. The

1323
01:02:52,293 --> 01:02:55,573
Speaker 2: book is called The Craving Mind by doctor Judson Brewer.

1324
01:02:55,653 --> 01:02:58,733
Speaker 3: All right, that's my weekend, that's my reading this weekend.

1325
01:02:58,733 --> 01:03:00,853
Speaker 2: I should say you could argue that love can be

1326
01:03:00,893 --> 01:03:03,933
Speaker 2: an addiction, certainly can be. That's not what we're arguing.

1327
01:03:04,013 --> 01:03:06,333
Speaker 2: We're moving on to what This is a story that

1328
01:03:06,373 --> 01:03:07,853
Speaker 2: you found today that excited you.

1329
01:03:07,893 --> 01:03:09,653
Speaker 3: Well, it's a great story in the Herald and its

1330
01:03:09,693 --> 01:03:12,373
Speaker 3: in depth and well worth a read. The headline is

1331
01:03:12,413 --> 01:03:16,253
Speaker 3: divorce trap. What kiwis get wrong about long term love?

1332
01:03:17,093 --> 01:03:19,933
Speaker 3: So it is what many of us are seeking, of course,

1333
01:03:19,933 --> 01:03:22,213
Speaker 3: but New Zealanders have a lot to learn about what

1334
01:03:22,253 --> 01:03:26,693
Speaker 3: builds a successful long term relationship. According to psychologist Nick Beats,

1335
01:03:26,973 --> 01:03:29,853
Speaker 3: he has had a thirty year career and worked with

1336
01:03:29,973 --> 01:03:32,773
Speaker 3: hundreds of Kiwi couples. Most have been together for years,

1337
01:03:32,773 --> 01:03:35,653
Speaker 3: and most have come to the painful realization that the

1338
01:03:35,693 --> 01:03:38,573
Speaker 3: relationship that they've built their life around has developed some

1339
01:03:38,773 --> 01:03:43,413
Speaker 3: serious structural defects. As he says, speed wobble. There's some

1340
01:03:43,453 --> 01:03:46,893
Speaker 3: speed wobbles. So here's the quote. We've been bombarded by

1341
01:03:47,013 --> 01:03:50,573
Speaker 3: the romantic mythos that if you just pick the right person,

1342
01:03:50,693 --> 01:03:53,453
Speaker 3: it will be easy. He goes on to say, it

1343
01:03:53,453 --> 01:03:56,853
Speaker 3: doesn't work that way. Marriage is a people growing machine.

1344
01:03:56,893 --> 01:03:59,573
Speaker 3: You invest all this time and energy in a relationship.

1345
01:03:59,693 --> 01:04:02,293
Speaker 3: You buy property together, you have children together, you have

1346
01:04:02,333 --> 01:04:06,773
Speaker 3: friends in common, and inevitably your personal limitations are going

1347
01:04:06,813 --> 01:04:10,373
Speaker 3: to threaten that relationship. Hence why we want to talk

1348
01:04:10,413 --> 01:04:15,693
Speaker 3: about what is it for you that makes your relationship

1349
01:04:15,773 --> 01:04:19,293
Speaker 3: so strong? What has been the tips in your your

1350
01:04:19,293 --> 01:04:22,253
Speaker 3: own mythos to building long term relationships?

1351
01:04:22,333 --> 01:04:24,453
Speaker 2: Yeah, and what mistakes have you made that you've learned

1352
01:04:24,453 --> 01:04:28,413
Speaker 2: from one hundred and eighty ten eighty, Because, as I

1353
01:04:28,453 --> 01:04:31,053
Speaker 2: was saying before, in relationships, so often you see people go

1354
01:04:31,093 --> 01:04:33,013
Speaker 2: from one relationship to another, and they go into the

1355
01:04:33,053 --> 01:04:35,093
Speaker 2: new relationship and they see the same mistakes happening, and

1356
01:04:35,133 --> 01:04:38,173
Speaker 2: then you realize, Ah, it was me. Yeah, it was

1357
01:04:38,213 --> 01:04:41,253
Speaker 2: me all along. I've got a theory on relationships and

1358
01:04:41,773 --> 01:04:46,013
Speaker 2: why they don't succeed, and I'll talk about that in

1359
01:04:46,053 --> 01:04:48,253
Speaker 2: a bit. I won't just throw that out there now, Okay,

1360
01:04:49,773 --> 01:04:51,453
Speaker 2: one hundred eighteen eighty. If you've had if you've got

1361
01:04:51,493 --> 01:04:54,213
Speaker 2: a relationship that works, why does it work? And what

1362
01:04:54,253 --> 01:04:56,773
Speaker 2: are your tips for making a relationship works? And if

1363
01:04:56,813 --> 01:04:59,333
Speaker 2: it hasn't worked, why I love to hear from you

1364
01:04:59,453 --> 01:05:02,973
Speaker 2: because I believe that in life it goes better if

1365
01:05:03,093 --> 01:05:05,773
Speaker 2: in twos. I think being in a relationship and a

1366
01:05:05,773 --> 01:05:10,013
Speaker 2: partnership against this world. The world is quite a punishing place,

1367
01:05:10,653 --> 01:05:16,053
Speaker 2: and it's not for everyone. For me, it's much easier

1368
01:05:16,573 --> 01:05:19,413
Speaker 2: in a partnership than it is on my own. And

1369
01:05:20,773 --> 01:05:23,333
Speaker 2: so if you can get that going, and loneliness is

1370
01:05:23,373 --> 01:05:26,093
Speaker 2: a terrible thing. And look, not everyone can find these

1371
01:05:26,093 --> 01:05:28,453
Speaker 2: relationships with some people that will work better in a partnership,

1372
01:05:28,493 --> 01:05:31,853
Speaker 2: but haven't managed to get that going. But things go better,

1373
01:05:31,933 --> 01:05:34,933
Speaker 2: in my opinion and in my experience, as a partnership

1374
01:05:34,933 --> 01:05:37,413
Speaker 2: againt you and someone else against the world, and you

1375
01:05:37,493 --> 01:05:39,053
Speaker 2: and your friends against the world, you and your family

1376
01:05:39,093 --> 01:05:40,693
Speaker 2: against the world. The more people you can have on

1377
01:05:40,733 --> 01:05:44,493
Speaker 2: your side, the better, but that there's something about the

1378
01:05:44,533 --> 01:05:47,173
Speaker 2: two of you going up against things. Even if it's

1379
01:05:47,293 --> 01:05:50,133
Speaker 2: just the admin of life, there's a lot to say

1380
01:05:50,173 --> 01:05:52,533
Speaker 2: for it. So it's worth finding out how you can

1381
01:05:52,533 --> 01:05:53,173
Speaker 2: make that work.

1382
01:05:54,133 --> 01:05:56,253
Speaker 3: And I'm no expert in this by any means, but

1383
01:05:56,373 --> 01:05:58,413
Speaker 3: the one thing that I've found with my partner made

1384
01:05:58,453 --> 01:06:00,653
Speaker 3: and generally it's a cliche, but she is my best friend.

1385
01:06:00,893 --> 01:06:03,413
Speaker 3: I absolutely mean that. But the one thing, if I

1386
01:06:03,453 --> 01:06:06,213
Speaker 3: have to sort of distill it down, is she makes

1387
01:06:06,253 --> 01:06:08,933
Speaker 3: my life easy and hopefully I make her life easy.

1388
01:06:09,013 --> 01:06:15,013
Speaker 3: So when I come home, very passionate, but that is

1389
01:06:15,013 --> 01:06:16,773
Speaker 3: it to me. You know, I walk through the door

1390
01:06:16,933 --> 01:06:20,773
Speaker 3: and I know that I'm going to see Mabe's beautiful

1391
01:06:20,773 --> 01:06:22,813
Speaker 3: face and life is going to be easier. So I

1392
01:06:22,933 --> 01:06:26,253
Speaker 3: walk through that door whatever issues that I'm facing out

1393
01:06:26,813 --> 01:06:28,293
Speaker 3: in the real world, and then I walk through that

1394
01:06:28,333 --> 01:06:30,093
Speaker 3: door and say, life's going to get easy.

1395
01:06:30,333 --> 01:06:33,493
Speaker 2: It's always like that, No, not always, not always.

1396
01:06:33,933 --> 01:06:35,893
Speaker 3: Say ninety nine percent, which is a pretty good ratio.

1397
01:06:36,453 --> 01:06:39,053
Speaker 3: Maybe ninety, maybe ninety. Let's not get too crazy here.

1398
01:06:39,293 --> 01:06:40,093
Speaker 2: Ninety is pretty good.

1399
01:06:40,173 --> 01:06:41,653
Speaker 3: May he might disagree.

1400
01:06:41,813 --> 01:06:43,813
Speaker 2: Ninety is pretty good. We should listen to Tyler for

1401
01:06:43,853 --> 01:06:46,653
Speaker 2: relationship advice. So he's getting ninety percent of the time.

1402
01:06:46,693 --> 01:06:50,253
Speaker 2: He walks through his door when he gets home and

1403
01:06:50,893 --> 01:06:53,173
Speaker 2: his partner is very happy with him, and everything's good,

1404
01:06:53,213 --> 01:06:54,933
Speaker 2: and she makes a little bit of place and then

1405
01:06:54,933 --> 01:06:56,293
Speaker 2: it sounds like you've cracked the code. Buddy.

1406
01:06:56,653 --> 01:06:58,333
Speaker 3: Maybe we need to get her on the phone. I

1407
01:06:58,373 --> 01:06:59,093
Speaker 3: think I think.

1408
01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:02,333
Speaker 2: Relationships can probably get by it. Sixty five percent, sixty

1409
01:07:02,333 --> 01:07:03,853
Speaker 2: percent good when you come.

1410
01:07:03,893 --> 01:07:05,653
Speaker 3: A dog helps as well. I've got to say a

1411
01:07:05,733 --> 01:07:08,893
Speaker 3: dog absolutely helps. But I went a hundred eight ten

1412
01:07:08,973 --> 01:07:10,893
Speaker 3: eighty is the number to call love to hear from

1413
01:07:10,893 --> 01:07:12,253
Speaker 3: you on this one? It is twenty to.

1414
01:07:12,213 --> 01:07:16,773
Speaker 1: Three the issues that affect you and a bit of

1415
01:07:16,773 --> 01:07:20,493
Speaker 1: fun along the way. Matt Heathan Taylor Adams afternoons you

1416
01:07:20,653 --> 01:07:21,653
Speaker 1: for twenty twenty four.

1417
01:07:21,773 --> 01:07:22,853
Speaker 10: You've talk Sai'd.

1418
01:07:22,653 --> 01:07:26,813
Speaker 3: Be news talks, there'd be It is seventeen to three.

1419
01:07:26,893 --> 01:07:29,373
Speaker 3: Great discussion we're having about relationships.

1420
01:07:29,573 --> 01:07:31,453
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do they work? Great article on the paper

1421
01:07:31,453 --> 01:07:34,333
Speaker 2: about it today in the New Zealand Herald. This text

1422
01:07:34,453 --> 01:07:36,853
Speaker 2: and Mike says, humble yourself and serve your partner and

1423
01:07:36,893 --> 01:07:41,693
Speaker 2: the effort will be reciprocated. Easy. Nice, you said, Yeah,

1424
01:07:41,893 --> 01:07:43,533
Speaker 2: I mean I think you can humble yourself too much.

1425
01:07:43,573 --> 01:07:45,733
Speaker 2: You still don't. You still want to be a pillar

1426
01:07:46,173 --> 01:07:49,773
Speaker 2: of strength and someone that they can depend on. Yeah,

1427
01:07:49,813 --> 01:07:52,693
Speaker 2: and also an agent of chaos to a certain extent.

1428
01:07:52,853 --> 01:07:56,013
Speaker 3: Yeah, keep it spicy. But when I said make it easy,

1429
01:07:56,013 --> 01:07:58,293
Speaker 3: and you're quite right, that doesn't mean that maybe or

1430
01:07:58,373 --> 01:08:00,413
Speaker 3: me as some sort of doormat for the relationship that

1431
01:08:00,453 --> 01:08:02,253
Speaker 3: we bend over backwards for the other person to make

1432
01:08:02,253 --> 01:08:04,573
Speaker 3: their life as easy as possible. That is not healthy.

1433
01:08:05,013 --> 01:08:07,133
Speaker 2: What someone that you that you have to reckon with? Yeah,

1434
01:08:07,213 --> 01:08:08,893
Speaker 2: someone that can.

1435
01:08:08,413 --> 01:08:13,253
Speaker 3: I love a good challenge. Uh, Jay, you were talking

1436
01:08:13,933 --> 01:08:15,973
Speaker 3: about this with your work mates this morning.

1437
01:08:17,333 --> 01:08:21,452
Speaker 4: Yes, something how things happened? Yeah, we're just talking and

1438
01:08:21,532 --> 01:08:25,293
Speaker 4: we need to learn about toxic exes and and they

1439
01:08:25,293 --> 01:08:30,973
Speaker 4: are great ones we have now and and funny and

1440
01:08:31,013 --> 01:08:35,173
Speaker 4: what and what what we've done to change and what

1441
01:08:35,253 --> 01:08:38,293
Speaker 4: we wouldn't and what we wouldn't go back to and

1442
01:08:38,333 --> 01:08:42,013
Speaker 4: so forth, and and it's funny topic before about addictions

1443
01:08:42,053 --> 01:08:44,652
Speaker 4: and stuff. I think. Uh, so I was like a

1444
01:08:44,772 --> 01:08:48,772
Speaker 4: twenty year mess head basically, and then three years clean

1445
01:08:49,412 --> 01:08:52,852
Speaker 4: and then uh sort of toll y you So you've

1446
01:08:52,893 --> 01:08:55,652
Speaker 4: get in and out relationships, you know, during their time,

1447
01:08:55,772 --> 01:09:00,052
Speaker 4: and and then finally found this absolutely wonderful lady.

1448
01:09:01,492 --> 01:09:04,173
Speaker 14: We're you know, kind of.

1449
01:09:04,173 --> 01:09:07,012
Speaker 4: Like a family in a box, you know, and I's

1450
01:09:07,093 --> 01:09:13,253
Speaker 4: got three kids, and we just enjoy a companionship, you know,

1451
01:09:15,532 --> 01:09:19,812
Speaker 4: and like she's she it's like, you know, we both

1452
01:09:19,933 --> 01:09:21,812
Speaker 4: like dogs, you know when you see your owner come

1453
01:09:21,853 --> 01:09:26,492
Speaker 4: through the door. When we get home from work, and

1454
01:09:26,532 --> 01:09:31,733
Speaker 4: it's quite nice, like feeling like like I'm a handyman

1455
01:09:31,812 --> 01:09:35,173
Speaker 4: and she does the housework, and it's like there's nothing said,

1456
01:09:35,893 --> 01:09:38,612
Speaker 4: but we just you know what I mean, it's it's

1457
01:09:39,213 --> 01:09:41,772
Speaker 4: it's a good thing. And like we we both have

1458
01:09:41,893 --> 01:09:44,973
Speaker 4: we have we have like a contract out agreement, so

1459
01:09:45,013 --> 01:09:49,772
Speaker 4: it's like a prenup and so like so like I said,

1460
01:09:49,853 --> 01:09:53,293
Speaker 4: like to her, like I don't care living in a tent.

1461
01:09:54,053 --> 01:09:59,173
Speaker 4: It's not about the materials. It's about uh about us,

1462
01:09:59,253 --> 01:10:04,812
Speaker 4: you know. Yeah, and yeah, you know, and when our parents.

1463
01:10:04,612 --> 01:10:08,572
Speaker 10: Are still together and always looking like what they have done.

1464
01:10:08,492 --> 01:10:10,333
Speaker 4: To keep a forty year marriage, you.

1465
01:10:10,253 --> 01:10:14,812
Speaker 3: Know, it's good role models. I mean, just in my

1466
01:10:14,933 --> 01:10:19,013
Speaker 3: own circumstance, my parents divorce that when I was pretty young,

1467
01:10:19,013 --> 01:10:22,692
Speaker 3: at about eleven, but it was pretty clear looking at that.

1468
01:10:22,772 --> 01:10:24,892
Speaker 3: Now my parents won't mind me saying this, it's just

1469
01:10:24,973 --> 01:10:27,692
Speaker 3: the truth that if they didn't get married so young,

1470
01:10:27,772 --> 01:10:30,372
Speaker 3: they never would have got married. And that had, you know,

1471
01:10:30,412 --> 01:10:32,013
Speaker 3: a bit of an impact on me on how I

1472
01:10:32,053 --> 01:10:36,532
Speaker 3: look at relationships and what I think is important in

1473
01:10:36,612 --> 01:10:38,652
Speaker 3: a partner. And that's why I'm so thankful that I

1474
01:10:38,692 --> 01:10:40,532
Speaker 3: found me. And just to your point, when you walk

1475
01:10:40,572 --> 01:10:42,812
Speaker 3: through the door and life is good, that's I think

1476
01:10:42,853 --> 01:10:45,253
Speaker 3: what I mean about life is easy. And that's not

1477
01:10:45,372 --> 01:10:47,253
Speaker 3: quite as articulate as I want to be, but that's

1478
01:10:47,293 --> 01:10:49,053
Speaker 3: the only way I think I can say it is

1479
01:10:49,093 --> 01:10:51,772
Speaker 3: that when I walk through that door, mav is there,

1480
01:10:51,893 --> 01:10:59,093
Speaker 3: my life is easy. Of stumbed them ja, Thank you

1481
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:01,293
Speaker 3: very much. He's computing that one.

1482
01:11:01,652 --> 01:11:05,652
Speaker 2: Thanks you cool, Jay, And congratulations for getting off the

1483
01:11:05,692 --> 01:11:10,013
Speaker 2: myth jeez and finding a happy, happy family situation. That's

1484
01:11:10,053 --> 01:11:10,812
Speaker 2: fantastic to hear.

1485
01:11:11,013 --> 01:11:15,013
Speaker 3: Yeah, uh, Brian, you've got some experience and this is

1486
01:11:15,013 --> 01:11:17,973
Speaker 3: a twenty five year old Vitrin in a relationship.

1487
01:11:20,133 --> 01:11:22,732
Speaker 6: Yeah, it'll be going on for about that, and uh,

1488
01:11:23,133 --> 01:11:26,772
Speaker 6: you know, I'm previously a couple of found ones. But

1489
01:11:26,772 --> 01:11:30,013
Speaker 6: but but I think the differences is that when you

1490
01:11:30,093 --> 01:11:33,093
Speaker 6: find there the right tight and that you something about

1491
01:11:33,133 --> 01:11:38,093
Speaker 6: a commitment, and it's you know, like my my my

1492
01:11:38,253 --> 01:11:43,612
Speaker 6: tent is my sort of will and and and the

1493
01:11:43,612 --> 01:11:47,253
Speaker 6: commitment does basically look, you know, I'm never gonna I'm

1494
01:11:47,293 --> 01:11:51,133
Speaker 6: never gonna hurt it, I'm never gonna let it down.

1495
01:11:51,692 --> 01:11:55,012
Speaker 6: And what happens is that the longer the relationship goes on,

1496
01:11:55,853 --> 01:11:59,412
Speaker 6: that actually strengthens. You're sort of partnership in years old

1497
01:11:59,452 --> 01:12:03,173
Speaker 6: and you're you're actually taking pride in your relationship together.

1498
01:12:04,253 --> 01:12:07,372
Speaker 6: So so I think that's the biggest thing is you know,

1499
01:12:07,772 --> 01:12:11,412
Speaker 6: the commitment to each other and then and that just

1500
01:12:11,452 --> 01:12:13,652
Speaker 6: builds more and more as time goes on, and you

1501
01:12:13,652 --> 01:12:14,892
Speaker 6: can actually take pride in that.

1502
01:12:15,412 --> 01:12:15,812
Speaker 19: Yeah.

1503
01:12:16,812 --> 01:12:21,852
Speaker 2: Yeah, You've you've built something together as what you're saying

1504
01:12:22,692 --> 01:12:23,892
Speaker 2: something with well yeah.

1505
01:12:23,732 --> 01:12:26,053
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, And it's just a commitment that you know,

1506
01:12:26,253 --> 01:12:30,932
Speaker 6: it's never gonna have a you know, pull commitment, and

1507
01:12:31,053 --> 01:12:33,412
Speaker 6: the other person knows that. Yeah, and you know, like

1508
01:12:33,452 --> 01:12:35,532
Speaker 6: you said, like someone else mentioned in the comment, you

1509
01:12:35,612 --> 01:12:39,293
Speaker 6: have durious if that's reciprocated, then it's the best thing either.

1510
01:12:41,053 --> 01:12:42,173
Speaker 18: Yeah.

1511
01:12:41,933 --> 01:12:45,213
Speaker 6: Yeah, And that's where you probably hear these people that

1512
01:12:45,412 --> 01:12:47,372
Speaker 6: you know, you get the old couples that have been

1513
01:12:47,372 --> 01:12:49,973
Speaker 6: married sixty seventy years or something like that, you know,

1514
01:12:50,053 --> 01:12:53,052
Speaker 6: and sure they might not have had every every smooth

1515
01:12:53,133 --> 01:12:55,892
Speaker 6: sailing the whole time, but at the end of the day,

1516
01:12:56,933 --> 01:12:59,692
Speaker 6: it's that commitment that will get you over you know,

1517
01:12:59,692 --> 01:13:02,492
Speaker 6: a little rough patches or something like that, because you know,

1518
01:13:02,812 --> 01:13:06,173
Speaker 6: it's a it's a no, it's non negotiable. Like you know,

1519
01:13:06,253 --> 01:13:08,093
Speaker 6: you might you might have an argument, you might have

1520
01:13:08,133 --> 01:13:12,093
Speaker 6: about something or other, but the non negotiable part of that,

1521
01:13:12,093 --> 01:13:14,612
Speaker 6: you're you're you're committed, you know.

1522
01:13:15,093 --> 01:13:19,293
Speaker 2: Forevor basically, Brian, I'm gonna question you. You said that your

1523
01:13:19,412 --> 01:13:22,053
Speaker 2: partner is your world, but do you do you have

1524
01:13:22,812 --> 01:13:25,612
Speaker 2: a you know, family and good friends groups? Do you

1525
01:13:25,612 --> 01:13:27,573
Speaker 2: both have friends outside of the relationship.

1526
01:13:29,532 --> 01:13:34,333
Speaker 6: To be fair, not really minimal, but that's that's that's

1527
01:13:34,372 --> 01:13:38,852
Speaker 6: nothing unusual, you know, not neither of us be social people.

1528
01:13:40,652 --> 01:13:44,532
Speaker 6: So you know, I like, I say, that's you. You've

1529
01:13:44,532 --> 01:13:47,772
Speaker 6: probably got a point there that uh, you know, we're

1530
01:13:48,133 --> 01:13:54,972
Speaker 6: largely do everything, you know, mm hmmm, we've lost Brian.

1531
01:13:55,053 --> 01:13:59,572
Speaker 6: There were not groups.

1532
01:13:58,173 --> 01:14:01,013
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you so much. If you called Brian, you're

1533
01:14:01,013 --> 01:14:03,013
Speaker 2: just breaking up there a little bit. Yeah, that that

1534
01:14:03,173 --> 01:14:05,852
Speaker 2: kind of because that's one of my theories and that's

1535
01:14:05,933 --> 01:14:08,012
Speaker 2: not how true By Brian. But one of my theories

1536
01:14:08,053 --> 01:14:13,772
Speaker 2: is really strong relationships are when both partners have strong

1537
01:14:13,812 --> 01:14:16,972
Speaker 2: families and strong friend groups that they can unleash some

1538
01:14:17,093 --> 01:14:20,852
Speaker 2: of their emotional baggage on or you know, spend some

1539
01:14:20,933 --> 01:14:23,293
Speaker 2: time with and come back into the relationship with things.

1540
01:14:23,933 --> 01:14:27,612
Speaker 2: Because especially it's I think it's particularly bad if one

1541
01:14:27,612 --> 01:14:30,452
Speaker 2: person has a large friend group and the other person doesn't, definitely,

1542
01:14:30,532 --> 01:14:32,812
Speaker 2: and then that person just gets completely brought into the

1543
01:14:32,853 --> 01:14:34,973
Speaker 2: new friend group. Then I think that can be problematic.

1544
01:14:34,973 --> 01:14:37,213
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's great if people can keep

1545
01:14:37,293 --> 01:14:39,372
Speaker 2: their friends and do their own things as well.

1546
01:14:39,612 --> 01:14:40,772
Speaker 3: I agree, I think.

1547
01:14:40,893 --> 01:14:43,492
Speaker 2: I mean it's not an absolute and clearly Brian saying

1548
01:14:43,492 --> 01:14:45,892
Speaker 2: that that's not necessary in his relationship, but it always

1549
01:14:45,893 --> 01:14:49,132
Speaker 2: seems the ones the relationships I see like that seem

1550
01:14:49,492 --> 01:14:51,492
Speaker 2: to go pretty well often.

1551
01:14:51,692 --> 01:14:54,572
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it works for us that I actually

1552
01:14:54,572 --> 01:14:58,852
Speaker 3: agree that if you do everything together, and some couples

1553
01:14:58,853 --> 01:15:00,572
Speaker 3: can do that, and I take my head off to them,

1554
01:15:00,893 --> 01:15:04,132
Speaker 3: But having that ability to go and do a weekend

1555
01:15:04,173 --> 01:15:06,293
Speaker 3: away with with the lads, or a week in away

1556
01:15:06,372 --> 01:15:09,173
Speaker 3: with the girls, or have those separate groups, to some

1557
01:15:09,492 --> 01:15:13,052
Speaker 3: you know, to some extent, I think is incredibly healthy.

1558
01:15:13,333 --> 01:15:15,972
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was just waiting for the text machine

1559
01:15:15,973 --> 01:15:18,053
Speaker 2: to fire up because you said, everythink.

1560
01:15:19,612 --> 01:15:22,452
Speaker 3: Everywhere are gonna come. They are going to come on ZB.

1561
01:15:22,652 --> 01:15:28,333
Speaker 2: Everything everything, every piece of pronunciation or misusage of a

1562
01:15:28,372 --> 01:15:30,972
Speaker 2: world word, we appreciate. I just could world instead of words,

1563
01:15:30,973 --> 01:15:33,652
Speaker 2: so we'll get that one. But we're appreciate keeping us honest. Yeah,

1564
01:15:33,692 --> 01:15:36,372
Speaker 2: but I quite like everythink everything.

1565
01:15:36,732 --> 01:15:39,532
Speaker 3: I don't encourage them. Here they come, Here they come.

1566
01:15:39,732 --> 01:15:40,213
Speaker 2: It's cute.

1567
01:15:40,293 --> 01:15:42,333
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, eight hundred and eighty ten eighty. Love to

1568
01:15:42,372 --> 01:15:45,173
Speaker 3: hear your thoughts on what it takes to make a

1569
01:15:45,213 --> 01:15:50,372
Speaker 3: great relationship. Last it is nine to three.

1570
01:15:49,772 --> 01:15:52,213
Speaker 1: The issues that affect you and a bit of fun

1571
01:15:52,253 --> 01:15:55,692
Speaker 1: along the way. Matt Heath and Taylor Adams Afternoons you

1572
01:15:55,853 --> 01:15:59,452
Speaker 1: for twenty twenty four you talk ZB News.

1573
01:15:59,173 --> 01:16:01,973
Speaker 3: Talks B it is six to three, and we've been

1574
01:16:02,133 --> 01:16:05,213
Speaker 3: talking about what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship

1575
01:16:05,253 --> 01:16:05,892
Speaker 3: long term.

1576
01:16:06,013 --> 01:16:09,892
Speaker 2: Hey, and look, as a person that is necessarily maintained

1577
01:16:09,893 --> 01:16:13,612
Speaker 2: relationships for I've it's pretty much been in a monogamous

1578
01:16:13,652 --> 01:16:16,732
Speaker 2: relationships for most of my adult life. Actually, our first

1579
01:16:16,772 --> 01:16:18,772
Speaker 2: girlfriend was when I was fourteen till I was twenty one.

1580
01:16:18,812 --> 01:16:21,772
Speaker 2: So you were doing well, Yeah, yeah, but I was

1581
01:16:21,772 --> 01:16:23,372
Speaker 2: thinking about this thing I was going to share before,

1582
01:16:23,412 --> 01:16:26,772
Speaker 2: and we'll keep this topic going on after after three o'clock.

1583
01:16:26,812 --> 01:16:28,933
Speaker 2: So one hundred and eighteen eighty. If you're in a

1584
01:16:28,973 --> 01:16:31,253
Speaker 2: successful relationship, how does it work? If you're not, why

1585
01:16:31,293 --> 01:16:34,052
Speaker 2: didn't it work? This is all based on this Herald article.

1586
01:16:34,412 --> 01:16:37,133
Speaker 2: But I read this really interesting book by this Australian

1587
01:16:37,213 --> 01:16:41,012
Speaker 2: professor of philosophy called Robert E. Good Good and called Settling,

1588
01:16:41,412 --> 01:16:43,492
Speaker 2: and he believes to have a fulfilliingeration that we must

1589
01:16:43,492 --> 01:16:45,572
Speaker 2: settle for a period of time and an imperfect person.

1590
01:16:45,853 --> 01:16:49,013
Speaker 2: It's also been written about by Oliver Berkman, another philosopher

1591
01:16:49,013 --> 01:16:51,772
Speaker 2: in England, and Alan de Bouton. But the thing is,

1592
01:16:52,253 --> 01:16:54,732
Speaker 2: we have this idea of the perfect person we're trying

1593
01:16:54,732 --> 01:16:55,812
Speaker 2: to get, and this is what this article on the

1594
01:16:55,853 --> 01:16:59,532
Speaker 2: hero's trying to say. And we often break up with

1595
01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:03,372
Speaker 2: people for just the crime of not being perfect because

1596
01:17:03,372 --> 01:17:06,253
Speaker 2: we can imagine everything. We can imagine the fantasy person.

1597
01:17:06,253 --> 01:17:09,173
Speaker 2: We want someone that's exciting but also stable. We want

1598
01:17:09,372 --> 01:17:11,572
Speaker 2: someone to be our best friend and the object of

1599
01:17:11,572 --> 01:17:16,133
Speaker 2: our affections. We want someone comforting, you know, and someone

1600
01:17:16,133 --> 01:17:19,173
Speaker 2: that will rip it up with us. And so often

1601
01:17:19,173 --> 01:17:21,772
Speaker 2: we have partners that have to compete with everything we

1602
01:17:21,772 --> 01:17:25,972
Speaker 2: can imagine, and that's impossible for someone to do. So

1603
01:17:26,173 --> 01:17:28,053
Speaker 2: I just believe you need to find someone that you

1604
01:17:28,133 --> 01:17:30,852
Speaker 2: love and like and then just put the work into

1605
01:17:30,933 --> 01:17:33,932
Speaker 2: that and build on that, and just stop comparing them

1606
01:17:33,933 --> 01:17:36,253
Speaker 2: with every other possibility that's out there in the world,

1607
01:17:36,293 --> 01:17:38,652
Speaker 2: because no one can compete with that. And then people

1608
01:17:38,692 --> 01:17:41,492
Speaker 2: break up relationships because someone's not perfect because they've watched

1609
01:17:41,492 --> 01:17:43,972
Speaker 2: too many rom coms, or they've decided that Instagram pots

1610
01:17:43,973 --> 01:17:45,852
Speaker 2: where you should be following your dreams and everyone should

1611
01:17:45,853 --> 01:17:48,213
Speaker 2: be incredible, and then you can just end up being

1612
01:17:48,412 --> 01:17:50,213
Speaker 2: alone for ten years when you look for this person

1613
01:17:50,253 --> 01:17:52,253
Speaker 2: that doesn't exist. It's a crazy thing to do. You

1614
01:17:52,372 --> 01:17:55,412
Speaker 2: just got to give up the fantasy and get over

1615
01:17:55,452 --> 01:18:00,053
Speaker 2: yourself and just be with someone and work on the

1616
01:18:00,093 --> 01:18:02,253
Speaker 2: relationship you've got. I mean, if it's a toxic and

1617
01:18:02,253 --> 01:18:04,772
Speaker 2: horrible relationship, obviously you've got to get out. Yeah, I mean,

1618
01:18:05,412 --> 01:18:09,293
Speaker 2: but barring that, you've got to realize that your partner

1619
01:18:09,412 --> 01:18:11,053
Speaker 2: is your partner. They're not. They don't have to be

1620
01:18:11,053 --> 01:18:12,572
Speaker 2: your best friend, they don't have to be the funniest

1621
01:18:12,612 --> 01:18:14,852
Speaker 2: person in the world. You can have your best mate

1622
01:18:14,893 --> 01:18:16,892
Speaker 2: can be the funniest person in the world, you know,

1623
01:18:17,013 --> 01:18:20,053
Speaker 2: and another friend can be the most exciting person in

1624
01:18:20,053 --> 01:18:21,692
Speaker 2: the world. But your partner doesn't have to be everything.

1625
01:18:21,692 --> 01:18:21,933
Speaker 4: You know.

1626
01:18:22,412 --> 01:18:24,532
Speaker 3: And I think once I came to the realization that,

1627
01:18:24,652 --> 01:18:26,772
Speaker 3: believe it or not, I'm not a perfect person. You know.

1628
01:18:26,492 --> 01:18:29,333
Speaker 3: I know you may think I am. But when I

1629
01:18:29,452 --> 01:18:31,372
Speaker 3: was very happy to make a lot of sacrifices and

1630
01:18:31,452 --> 01:18:34,092
Speaker 3: Mave would make sacrifices as well about you know, behavior

1631
01:18:34,133 --> 01:18:36,732
Speaker 3: in that relationship. At that point I thought, Yep, I've

1632
01:18:36,772 --> 01:18:39,732
Speaker 3: found there. But keen on your thoughts.

1633
01:18:39,853 --> 01:18:40,932
Speaker 2: I think you're a real catch.

1634
01:18:40,973 --> 01:18:44,532
Speaker 3: Tiler you mate you two oh eight hundred eighty ten

1635
01:18:44,612 --> 01:18:46,692
Speaker 3: eighty is the number to call. Nine two nine two

1636
01:18:46,853 --> 01:18:49,213
Speaker 3: is the text number New Sport and whether or on

1637
01:18:49,213 --> 01:18:51,732
Speaker 3: its way. You're listening to Matt and Tyler. Good afternoon

1638
01:18:56,253 --> 01:19:06,253
Speaker 3: is good afternoon. It is bang on twenty past three,

1639
01:19:06,253 --> 01:19:08,253
Speaker 3: and we've been talking about relationships, yeah.

1640
01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:12,452
Speaker 2: Talking about love. After we read this quite interesting article

1641
01:19:12,452 --> 01:19:16,173
Speaker 2: on the Herald today from Nick Beats, a psychologist. Over

1642
01:19:16,213 --> 01:19:19,652
Speaker 2: his thirty year career, He's talked about what works for

1643
01:19:19,933 --> 01:19:23,012
Speaker 2: Kiwi couple staying together, and he says we're being bombarded

1644
01:19:23,053 --> 01:19:25,532
Speaker 2: by romantic mythos that if you just pick the right person,

1645
01:19:25,652 --> 01:19:27,812
Speaker 2: it'll be easy. He says, it doesn't work that way.

1646
01:19:28,053 --> 01:19:31,293
Speaker 2: How does it work? Wait? Hundred eighty ten eighty.

1647
01:19:32,333 --> 01:19:35,612
Speaker 3: Shane, you mate your rentend. You're gonna have a best friend.

1648
01:19:37,572 --> 01:19:40,093
Speaker 14: Yeap. She has to be your best friend. You're going

1649
01:19:40,133 --> 01:19:42,093
Speaker 14: to be doing things with her that you're not going

1650
01:19:42,133 --> 01:19:43,933
Speaker 14: to be doing with your male best friend, aren't you.

1651
01:19:44,812 --> 01:19:45,052
Speaker 3: Wow?

1652
01:19:45,173 --> 01:19:45,372
Speaker 2: Wow?

1653
01:19:49,652 --> 01:19:53,253
Speaker 14: So the relationship is more intimate. I've been married thirty

1654
01:19:53,253 --> 01:19:57,532
Speaker 14: seven years. Okay. I tried to avoid my wife like

1655
01:19:57,572 --> 01:20:00,852
Speaker 14: the plague in the early days because I knew she

1656
01:20:01,093 --> 01:20:04,652
Speaker 14: liked me. But the thing is, I'm a Christian, so

1657
01:20:05,173 --> 01:20:09,532
Speaker 14: you know, I meaned it up marrying us. She wasn't

1658
01:20:09,612 --> 01:20:12,852
Speaker 14: the woman I wanted. He was the woman I needed,

1659
01:20:14,492 --> 01:20:19,972
Speaker 14: you know. And I would tell most young people, make

1660
01:20:20,053 --> 01:20:23,932
Speaker 14: sure you have the person you were going to spend

1661
01:20:23,973 --> 01:20:27,652
Speaker 14: your life with as a friend before you do it.

1662
01:20:27,692 --> 01:20:33,612
Speaker 14: Have sex with her, wow, because what's going to happen

1663
01:20:33,732 --> 01:20:36,572
Speaker 14: is if you have lots or sex with other people,

1664
01:20:36,812 --> 01:20:44,812
Speaker 14: you're always going to be judging your partner by previous relationships. Right. So, anyway,

1665
01:20:45,253 --> 01:20:51,372
Speaker 14: I had, she was my best friend, Sae.

1666
01:20:51,412 --> 01:20:53,372
Speaker 2: If you don't mind Shane, if you don't mind me asking,

1667
01:20:53,412 --> 01:20:54,972
Speaker 2: and you don't have to answer this because it's about

1668
01:20:54,973 --> 01:20:58,452
Speaker 2: personal So she was your first She was the first

1669
01:20:58,452 --> 01:20:59,812
Speaker 2: person you were intimate with.

1670
01:21:01,133 --> 01:21:06,613
Speaker 14: I let me start. My dad and mum got divorced

1671
01:21:06,612 --> 01:21:11,213
Speaker 14: in nineteen sixty eight, sixty four, now right, and then

1672
01:21:11,293 --> 01:21:16,213
Speaker 14: Dare got married. Three points when I got married. When

1673
01:21:16,253 --> 01:21:19,533
Speaker 14: I got married to my wife, I vowed and declared

1674
01:21:20,173 --> 01:21:24,173
Speaker 14: that my children will never have to go through the

1675
01:21:24,213 --> 01:21:28,852
Speaker 14: anxiety that I went through as a child, growing wondering

1676
01:21:28,853 --> 01:21:33,253
Speaker 14: which parents care invite to the wedding? Who's coming Christmas?

1677
01:21:33,293 --> 01:21:35,452
Speaker 3: Just quit, Shane, Sorry to jump in there. How old

1678
01:21:35,452 --> 01:21:39,412
Speaker 3: were you when your parents divorced? Eight eight? And I

1679
01:21:39,532 --> 01:21:44,852
Speaker 3: take it it was a challenging divorce for your parents.

1680
01:21:43,213 --> 01:21:43,692
Speaker 2: It was.

1681
01:21:43,853 --> 01:21:46,732
Speaker 14: And I looked after three of my siblings while dad

1682
01:21:46,732 --> 01:21:50,253
Speaker 14: did three jobs. We stayed with dad. So you know,

1683
01:21:51,133 --> 01:21:54,173
Speaker 14: my wife and I'll be married thirty seven years. The

1684
01:21:54,173 --> 01:21:58,253
Speaker 14: thing is you've got to take them walks and all

1685
01:21:59,053 --> 01:22:01,532
Speaker 14: as they have to do with you. As long as

1686
01:22:01,692 --> 01:22:06,972
Speaker 14: a man has respect, is given respect and the woman

1687
01:22:07,053 --> 01:22:11,932
Speaker 14: has given love. You love your wife, but just as

1688
01:22:11,973 --> 01:22:14,612
Speaker 14: long as I have respect, so.

1689
01:22:14,572 --> 01:22:16,492
Speaker 3: You said before, Shane, and I think you've answered it

1690
01:22:16,532 --> 01:22:21,173
Speaker 3: pretty well. But you said that she wasn't the woman

1691
01:22:21,213 --> 01:22:23,132
Speaker 3: that you wanted, but it was the woman that you needed.

1692
01:22:23,173 --> 01:22:23,852
Speaker 3: What did you need?

1693
01:22:25,492 --> 01:22:29,652
Speaker 14: Well, I needed someone I innestally wanted someone who would

1694
01:22:29,772 --> 01:22:33,132
Speaker 14: argue with me and all that and looked a certain

1695
01:22:33,213 --> 01:22:36,933
Speaker 14: way and all that sort of stuff. The thing is,

1696
01:22:38,093 --> 01:22:42,892
Speaker 14: your body is going to deteriorate over time. So what

1697
01:22:42,973 --> 01:22:47,293
Speaker 14: you have, you've got to have somebody that you can

1698
01:22:47,412 --> 01:22:50,812
Speaker 14: live with and your soulmate. That that's what you look at.

1699
01:22:51,492 --> 01:22:54,052
Speaker 14: You're not looking at their body and how the sort

1700
01:22:54,093 --> 01:22:58,852
Speaker 14: of changing. You're looking at the person you married, the

1701
01:22:58,893 --> 01:23:03,452
Speaker 14: person who is your best friend, the intrinsic being of

1702
01:23:03,492 --> 01:23:06,772
Speaker 14: that person, because a physical is going to change. My

1703
01:23:06,812 --> 01:23:09,852
Speaker 14: wife is just had cancer and had them the secretly

1704
01:23:10,372 --> 01:23:13,173
Speaker 14: I still love that woman.

1705
01:23:14,013 --> 01:23:14,652
Speaker 3: That's beautiful.

1706
01:23:14,652 --> 01:23:19,253
Speaker 14: Shame. She is the mother of my children, you know,

1707
01:23:19,652 --> 01:23:25,652
Speaker 14: the grandmother. She is perfect for me. You know, she

1708
01:23:25,812 --> 01:23:27,933
Speaker 14: knew how to put up with me and how to

1709
01:23:28,013 --> 01:23:32,692
Speaker 14: put me in my place without being obnoxious about it.

1710
01:23:32,853 --> 01:23:35,372
Speaker 3: Yeah, Shane, thank you very much. Mate.

1711
01:23:36,253 --> 01:23:39,892
Speaker 2: Got a text here from an Amelia, Matt and Tyler.

1712
01:23:39,893 --> 01:23:41,852
Speaker 2: The key to a good relationship is your husband doing

1713
01:23:42,133 --> 01:23:44,173
Speaker 2: his thing and you doing your own. Thing as much

1714
01:23:44,173 --> 01:23:47,812
Speaker 2: as possible. So this kind of an opposing opinion that

1715
01:23:47,853 --> 01:23:50,173
Speaker 2: we've just had. You can't be in each other's pocket.

1716
01:23:50,412 --> 01:23:52,852
Speaker 2: Time a part makes the heart go stronger. Although we

1717
01:23:52,893 --> 01:23:55,132
Speaker 2: are only twenty three, so things might change.

1718
01:23:55,213 --> 01:23:55,812
Speaker 3: Yeah, nice.

1719
01:23:58,213 --> 01:24:00,452
Speaker 2: I started reading that text. I thought it was someone

1720
01:24:00,452 --> 01:24:02,612
Speaker 2: that had been together for twenty three years. They are

1721
01:24:02,652 --> 01:24:05,972
Speaker 2: only twenty three. Sure, can you crack the TA cod?

1722
01:24:06,013 --> 01:24:07,652
Speaker 2: I mean, how long have they been married? They're only

1723
01:24:07,692 --> 01:24:08,293
Speaker 2: twenty three.

1724
01:24:08,372 --> 01:24:10,093
Speaker 3: Hey, if it's working for them, it's working for them.

1725
01:24:10,093 --> 01:24:12,572
Speaker 2: We've been married for two months and I've cracked the code.

1726
01:24:12,612 --> 01:24:14,372
Speaker 2: It's not spending any time with your partner.

1727
01:24:14,893 --> 01:24:17,173
Speaker 3: Oh eight hundred eighty ten eighty is a number to call.

1728
01:24:17,412 --> 01:24:22,492
Speaker 3: It is twenty five past three.

1729
01:24:23,612 --> 01:24:27,053
Speaker 1: Matt Heathen, Tyler Adams afternoons call oh eight hundred and

1730
01:24:27,053 --> 01:24:28,972
Speaker 1: eighty ten eighty on News Talk ZB.

1731
01:24:29,492 --> 01:24:32,053
Speaker 3: What is the key to a long and healthy relationship?

1732
01:24:32,093 --> 01:24:33,892
Speaker 3: That's a question. We're asking a.

1733
01:24:33,893 --> 01:24:36,012
Speaker 2: Bit of a pushback on the call just said before?

1734
01:24:36,053 --> 01:24:38,492
Speaker 2: What was that guy? I forget? His name is Shane Shane, Shane,

1735
01:24:38,893 --> 01:24:41,333
Speaker 2: Matt and Tyler the man who said your wife needs

1736
01:24:41,333 --> 01:24:44,012
Speaker 2: to respect you, but you only need to love her.

1737
01:24:44,412 --> 01:24:46,532
Speaker 2: I would never stay with a man who loved but

1738
01:24:46,572 --> 01:24:48,492
Speaker 2: didn't respect me. I love my dog, but I don't

1739
01:24:48,532 --> 01:24:52,452
Speaker 2: respect his opinion. That is silly. That is from imagen Emogen.

1740
01:24:52,532 --> 01:24:53,612
Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, good text.

1741
01:24:53,652 --> 01:24:56,652
Speaker 2: Yeah, so Shane was saying that he absolutely loves and

1742
01:24:56,692 --> 01:25:00,372
Speaker 2: adores his wife in every part of her and she

1743
01:25:00,452 --> 01:25:02,652
Speaker 2: respects him. Yeah, but I'm not sure if he said

1744
01:25:02,652 --> 01:25:05,572
Speaker 2: that she doesn't love him and that he doesn't respect her.

1745
01:25:05,933 --> 01:25:07,772
Speaker 2: But yeah, I might have to unpack that.

1746
01:25:07,853 --> 01:25:11,133
Speaker 3: Call a good pushback via the text image and thank

1747
01:25:11,173 --> 01:25:13,652
Speaker 3: you another text to you get our guys asigned from

1748
01:25:13,692 --> 01:25:16,973
Speaker 3: many other things. You need to have a compatible attitude

1749
01:25:17,013 --> 01:25:19,773
Speaker 3: to money from Felicity, And that is true.

1750
01:25:19,893 --> 01:25:21,932
Speaker 2: A compatible attitude to money. What does that mean?

1751
01:25:22,253 --> 01:25:24,932
Speaker 3: Well maybe not because now the more that I think

1752
01:25:24,933 --> 01:25:26,372
Speaker 3: about it, me and may have are kind of polar

1753
01:25:26,372 --> 01:25:28,812
Speaker 3: opposites when we come to money. I hate spending money

1754
01:25:28,853 --> 01:25:32,173
Speaker 3: and she loves us. And you know, both of us

1755
01:25:32,173 --> 01:25:34,253
Speaker 3: are wrong that I'm too much of a scrooge and

1756
01:25:34,293 --> 01:25:37,132
Speaker 3: maybe she's a bit just too free on things.

1757
01:25:37,372 --> 01:25:40,333
Speaker 2: Are you stillly with her spending money? Like do you

1758
01:25:40,372 --> 01:25:44,293
Speaker 2: hastle her about his expenditure? Are you checking the credit card?

1759
01:25:44,293 --> 01:25:47,612
Speaker 2: Are you are you are you turning your nose up

1760
01:25:47,652 --> 01:25:48,932
Speaker 2: when boxes arrive.

1761
01:25:49,173 --> 01:25:52,093
Speaker 3: We've still got separate accounts I have you, So you

1762
01:25:52,173 --> 01:25:54,812
Speaker 3: know that's I mean, that's ano topic in herself, isn't

1763
01:25:54,812 --> 01:25:55,452
Speaker 3: it whose accounts?

1764
01:25:55,492 --> 01:25:55,732
Speaker 6: Bugge?

1765
01:25:56,492 --> 01:26:01,333
Speaker 3: Definitely my, definitely my. I add one hundred.

1766
01:26:01,893 --> 01:26:02,612
Speaker 2: Does she respect that?

1767
01:26:03,893 --> 01:26:04,093
Speaker 14: Yeah?

1768
01:26:04,133 --> 01:26:05,452
Speaker 3: Yeah, she enjoys it?

1769
01:26:05,532 --> 01:26:05,772
Speaker 12: Yeah.

1770
01:26:06,412 --> 01:26:08,612
Speaker 3: I add one hundred eighty ten eight years a number

1771
01:26:08,612 --> 01:26:11,012
Speaker 3: to call Morris. How are you mate?

1772
01:26:11,933 --> 01:26:12,133
Speaker 19: Oh?

1773
01:26:12,253 --> 01:26:12,652
Speaker 12: Pretty good?

1774
01:26:12,692 --> 01:26:12,972
Speaker 4: Boys?

1775
01:26:13,013 --> 01:26:16,652
Speaker 8: Well, and I like saying I'm exactly the opposite for

1776
01:26:17,013 --> 01:26:19,412
Speaker 8: I've got a story for you. I have twelve kids

1777
01:26:19,412 --> 01:26:20,372
Speaker 8: to nine different women.

1778
01:26:20,532 --> 01:26:21,452
Speaker 2: Wow. Wow.

1779
01:26:21,732 --> 01:26:24,333
Speaker 12: And I had the thirteenth one about six weeks ago.

1780
01:26:24,372 --> 01:26:25,213
Speaker 12: And I'm fifty seven.

1781
01:26:25,772 --> 01:26:27,652
Speaker 2: Wow. So you've got twelve kids to nine different woman

1782
01:26:27,692 --> 01:26:29,253
Speaker 2: and now you've had a thirteenth.

1783
01:26:29,372 --> 01:26:32,133
Speaker 12: Thirteenth Yeah, but is that a tenth woman or.

1784
01:26:32,053 --> 01:26:33,692
Speaker 2: Is that a tenth woman or is it the ninth woman?

1785
01:26:34,053 --> 01:26:36,852
Speaker 12: It's the thirteenth woman. And we've been together for seven years,

1786
01:26:37,293 --> 01:26:38,372
Speaker 12: saying can I get this right?

1787
01:26:38,412 --> 01:26:41,492
Speaker 2: So that you've had thirteen kids with nine women or

1788
01:26:41,492 --> 01:26:42,572
Speaker 2: thirteen kids with ten women?

1789
01:26:42,812 --> 01:26:44,972
Speaker 12: Now, I had twelve kids with nine women.

1790
01:26:45,093 --> 01:26:45,333
Speaker 2: Yep.

1791
01:26:45,652 --> 01:26:47,732
Speaker 8: Between the age of twenty five and fifty and twenty

1792
01:26:47,732 --> 01:26:50,372
Speaker 8: five years, I meet someone when I was fifty one.

1793
01:26:50,452 --> 01:26:53,372
Speaker 12: We've been together since, we've got we've just had a child. Wow,

1794
01:26:53,812 --> 01:26:56,933
Speaker 12: So I think I know how it works. It just

1795
01:26:56,973 --> 01:26:59,053
Speaker 12: took me a wee while to work it out.

1796
01:27:00,853 --> 01:27:03,253
Speaker 2: What do you know how it works?

1797
01:27:03,452 --> 01:27:06,253
Speaker 8: In the judge a book by its cover, it was

1798
01:27:06,293 --> 01:27:08,852
Speaker 8: about you know, the book was the color. I never

1799
01:27:08,893 --> 01:27:11,372
Speaker 8: read the never read the book, and start the story

1800
01:27:11,412 --> 01:27:12,652
Speaker 8: off just the book by the cover.

1801
01:27:12,973 --> 01:27:13,572
Speaker 12: Usually a bar.

1802
01:27:13,893 --> 01:27:16,692
Speaker 8: Sol bar was a great place, and there was a

1803
01:27:16,732 --> 01:27:18,612
Speaker 8: whole host of them. And then next thing know, four

1804
01:27:18,652 --> 01:27:21,053
Speaker 8: months later you're in in love for four months, she's

1805
01:27:21,133 --> 01:27:23,812
Speaker 8: up with us, and then you think, then the last

1806
01:27:23,812 --> 01:27:25,612
Speaker 8: two years right until you work out, I can't I

1807
01:27:25,612 --> 01:27:27,772
Speaker 8: write this anymore. So you just pay the mate that

1808
01:27:27,933 --> 01:27:30,333
Speaker 8: sort of out, move them on and make sure they're fine,

1809
01:27:30,532 --> 01:27:33,612
Speaker 8: and you become a parent separate parents, and well it

1810
01:27:33,732 --> 01:27:35,892
Speaker 8: sort of took me st of my relationships and twelve

1811
01:27:35,973 --> 01:27:37,572
Speaker 8: kids before you worked it out, and hey, this is

1812
01:27:37,572 --> 01:27:40,093
Speaker 8: not working, which wasn't that great?

1813
01:27:40,173 --> 01:27:42,093
Speaker 12: And I can show you the guys who rang in

1814
01:27:42,133 --> 01:27:43,933
Speaker 12: about the way I employed people. They'll rung out and

1815
01:27:43,973 --> 01:27:45,732
Speaker 12: say because I've met half of them, and I.

1816
01:27:46,293 --> 01:27:48,812
Speaker 8: And say they were lovely girls, but they just weren't

1817
01:27:48,812 --> 01:27:52,452
Speaker 8: for me. So the one I've got now, she's actually

1818
01:27:52,492 --> 01:27:53,612
Speaker 8: we have our own life.

1819
01:27:53,853 --> 01:27:55,412
Speaker 12: She does her things, I do mine.

1820
01:27:56,173 --> 01:27:57,852
Speaker 8: I go to the pub on a Saturday and we're

1821
01:27:57,853 --> 01:28:00,012
Speaker 8: into race horses and have a few bets of the boys,

1822
01:28:00,013 --> 01:28:00,732
Speaker 8: have a few beers.

1823
01:28:01,333 --> 01:28:03,372
Speaker 12: She doesn't mind. She spends time with her mates. We

1824
01:28:03,452 --> 01:28:03,933
Speaker 12: have her own thing.

1825
01:28:04,013 --> 01:28:06,052
Speaker 8: We have our things together, and I have my things

1826
01:28:06,053 --> 01:28:07,652
Speaker 8: with the young kids, you know, and we do that

1827
01:28:07,692 --> 01:28:10,253
Speaker 8: together with the fand and everyone's inclusive.

1828
01:28:10,612 --> 01:28:12,492
Speaker 14: And she has I.

1829
01:28:12,492 --> 01:28:14,933
Speaker 8: Respect her opinion, you know, like when your Cinda is

1830
01:28:14,933 --> 01:28:16,732
Speaker 8: and she was a fan of you, Cinda, believe you me,

1831
01:28:16,812 --> 01:28:18,412
Speaker 8: that was so hard to agree with. So I just

1832
01:28:18,452 --> 01:28:21,092
Speaker 8: didn't say anything, but I respect that was her belief.

1833
01:28:21,893 --> 01:28:24,732
Speaker 8: And you must respect your opinion and you must respect them.

1834
01:28:25,133 --> 01:28:27,133
Speaker 8: And you've also got to have that into connection because

1835
01:28:27,133 --> 01:28:28,732
Speaker 8: if you don't have that in tenderly look and able

1836
01:28:28,732 --> 01:28:31,093
Speaker 8: the scene straight away and in.

1837
01:28:31,053 --> 01:28:33,412
Speaker 12: What I found is not only is the best mate.

1838
01:28:33,973 --> 01:28:35,532
Speaker 12: We go and hang out together, We go and watch

1839
01:28:35,532 --> 01:28:36,133
Speaker 12: movies together.

1840
01:28:36,853 --> 01:28:38,852
Speaker 8: We even go walking down the beach because that's what

1841
01:28:38,853 --> 01:28:42,213
Speaker 8: we quite enjoyed them with the dogs. But we respect

1842
01:28:42,293 --> 01:28:44,532
Speaker 8: each other and we enjoy each other's company. At the

1843
01:28:44,532 --> 01:28:46,412
Speaker 8: same time, we have our own lives, which is really

1844
01:28:46,452 --> 01:28:50,572
Speaker 8: really important. And on finances, I just said, this is

1845
01:28:50,572 --> 01:28:52,412
Speaker 8: how much we have to spend each week. I need

1846
01:28:52,412 --> 01:28:53,213
Speaker 8: this much out of that.

1847
01:28:53,213 --> 01:28:54,772
Speaker 12: What do you need? You is I need this much?

1848
01:28:54,772 --> 01:28:56,932
Speaker 8: Well, that's what we get and whatever else is best

1849
01:28:56,973 --> 01:28:58,932
Speaker 8: day we save and it goes into this system.

1850
01:28:58,933 --> 01:29:01,532
Speaker 12: We agree on it. We do an annual budget. We

1851
01:29:01,572 --> 01:29:04,173
Speaker 12: agree on what we require, and that's what we do.

1852
01:29:04,532 --> 01:29:06,932
Speaker 8: And money's ever been in issue because we're financially pretty

1853
01:29:07,612 --> 01:29:11,213
Speaker 8: well there. But at the same time, like you, almost

1854
01:29:11,213 --> 01:29:13,812
Speaker 8: as pilot, who's like to spend I like a little

1855
01:29:13,853 --> 01:29:16,493
Speaker 8: few constraints on that. I don't mind spending within a degree,

1856
01:29:16,732 --> 01:29:18,053
Speaker 8: But I don't like abservices.

1857
01:29:18,372 --> 01:29:20,772
Speaker 2: You know, well you must have if you've got that

1858
01:29:20,812 --> 01:29:24,093
Speaker 2: many kids, though you must your disposable income must be

1859
01:29:24,093 --> 01:29:25,612
Speaker 2: being taxed heavily by the other.

1860
01:29:27,133 --> 01:29:31,253
Speaker 8: See, it's all about negotiations. So I will contribute to

1861
01:29:31,253 --> 01:29:32,973
Speaker 8: the house. I will pay the house. I'll give you

1862
01:29:33,013 --> 01:29:35,732
Speaker 8: somewhere to live. I'll contribute that. I'll put the kids

1863
01:29:35,732 --> 01:29:37,092
Speaker 8: through school, through private school.

1864
01:29:37,213 --> 01:29:38,012
Speaker 12: I'll pay for the clothes.

1865
01:29:38,093 --> 01:29:40,053
Speaker 8: You get a job and feed them right, I'll pay

1866
01:29:40,093 --> 01:29:44,492
Speaker 8: for daycare and and and all the girls, and I've

1867
01:29:44,492 --> 01:29:47,052
Speaker 8: had all the women i've had children live are actually

1868
01:29:47,133 --> 01:29:49,053
Speaker 8: all good sorts. But we just didn't get on.

1869
01:29:49,492 --> 01:29:50,213
Speaker 12: And they're all quite.

1870
01:29:50,333 --> 01:29:52,093
Speaker 8: They don't want to sit on their hands and knees

1871
01:29:52,093 --> 01:29:53,532
Speaker 8: and wait for the check to come each month. They're

1872
01:29:53,532 --> 01:29:55,053
Speaker 8: all quite want to work on all the rest. So

1873
01:29:55,133 --> 01:29:57,412
Speaker 8: I'd pay for daycare. I'd make sure there's a roofs

1874
01:29:57,452 --> 01:30:00,013
Speaker 8: over the head. That's your obligations as a parent, and

1875
01:30:00,013 --> 01:30:01,852
Speaker 8: I make sure the kids went to the right school.

1876
01:30:02,333 --> 01:30:05,212
Speaker 8: And if you take those costs out of raising children,

1877
01:30:06,213 --> 01:30:08,012
Speaker 8: they're feeding them and that that's quite.

1878
01:30:07,772 --> 01:30:11,532
Speaker 12: Reasonable, you know, And that's in seriously, it's worked.

1879
01:30:12,372 --> 01:30:14,293
Speaker 8: Out Of all those nine women, there's only one who

1880
01:30:14,333 --> 01:30:17,933
Speaker 8: hates me. She was the first one.

1881
01:30:18,093 --> 01:30:20,612
Speaker 12: She genuinely loads me. Well, I don't know what I

1882
01:30:20,652 --> 01:30:21,133
Speaker 12: think that was.

1883
01:30:21,213 --> 01:30:24,173
Speaker 8: We got we had twins first up, she was the

1884
01:30:24,492 --> 01:30:25,492
Speaker 8: twins are three months old.

1885
01:30:25,572 --> 01:30:29,253
Speaker 12: Just pinged them again. It's not my fault. Christian will

1886
01:30:29,293 --> 01:30:30,732
Speaker 12: be rich now.

1887
01:30:30,772 --> 01:30:32,973
Speaker 2: So my question for you, Maris is before we go

1888
01:30:33,213 --> 01:30:35,772
Speaker 2: so not a fan of contraception.

1889
01:30:36,692 --> 01:30:37,372
Speaker 12: Odd Catholic.

1890
01:30:38,572 --> 01:30:39,213
Speaker 3: That'll explain it.

1891
01:30:39,253 --> 01:30:40,412
Speaker 2: Okay, there we get all right.

1892
01:30:40,452 --> 01:30:42,333
Speaker 3: Then we've got a lot of kids to look after

1893
01:30:42,372 --> 01:30:44,253
Speaker 3: you when you're in the retirement home. I've got to say, Morris,

1894
01:30:44,293 --> 01:30:47,452
Speaker 3: so well done there, thank you very much. A rout

1895
01:30:48,692 --> 01:30:52,053
Speaker 3: twelve kids to nine different women and one hates them.

1896
01:30:52,053 --> 01:30:53,692
Speaker 2: No, I didn't that know. I think was there was

1897
01:30:53,933 --> 01:30:57,133
Speaker 2: twelve kids to nine women and then one to one.

1898
01:30:57,213 --> 01:30:59,652
Speaker 2: So now there's ten women and thirteen kids, I believe.

1899
01:30:59,692 --> 01:31:01,732
Speaker 3: So he was pretty busy between the ages of twenty

1900
01:31:01,732 --> 01:31:02,892
Speaker 3: five and fifty. He reckoned.

1901
01:31:03,053 --> 01:31:05,213
Speaker 2: He really gave it a good nudge. The did he.

1902
01:31:05,333 --> 01:31:09,412
Speaker 3: Certainly heads One hundred eighty two is a number to call.

1903
01:31:09,652 --> 01:31:12,892
Speaker 3: It is twenty six minutes before headlines coming.

1904
01:31:12,772 --> 01:31:16,612
Speaker 2: Up US talks.

1905
01:31:16,652 --> 01:31:20,253
Speaker 16: It'd be headlines with blue bubble taxis. It's no trouble

1906
01:31:20,293 --> 01:31:24,213
Speaker 16: with a blue bubble, the opposition says. Announcements more jobs

1907
01:31:24,253 --> 01:31:27,012
Speaker 16: are likely to go at Health New Zealand are awful.

1908
01:31:27,093 --> 01:31:31,333
Speaker 16: Timing staff have been told of proposals to disestablish more roles.

1909
01:31:32,053 --> 01:31:34,532
Speaker 16: The Prime Minister is expected to announce a new police

1910
01:31:34,572 --> 01:31:38,412
Speaker 16: station in Auckland in Federal Street today, a move from

1911
01:31:38,532 --> 01:31:41,932
Speaker 16: College Hill. Fargarday's mayor is a fan of a new

1912
01:31:41,973 --> 01:31:45,372
Speaker 16: plan to build a terminal for Bitumen stores at Marston Point,

1913
01:31:45,612 --> 01:31:48,253
Speaker 16: saying it'll be great for the region. A number of

1914
01:31:48,253 --> 01:31:51,733
Speaker 16: proposals have been made for reinvigorating the moth balled facility.

1915
01:31:52,772 --> 01:31:56,812
Speaker 16: Two separate gps who, when appropriately issued medical COVID vaccine

1916
01:31:56,853 --> 01:32:01,052
Speaker 16: exemption certificates, have been ruled to have breached consumers' rights codes.

1917
01:32:02,053 --> 01:32:05,253
Speaker 16: A forty eight year old man already charged with arson

1918
01:32:05,372 --> 01:32:09,572
Speaker 16: over a fatal fire in Fargardes Dickypung in April, has

1919
01:32:09,652 --> 01:32:14,333
Speaker 16: now also been charged with murder. Project jonah So's thirty

1920
01:32:14,333 --> 01:32:17,692
Speaker 16: six whales stranded at Rukaka Beach was saved by a

1921
01:32:17,772 --> 01:32:21,572
Speaker 16: huge Northland community effort. Three adults and the calf didn't

1922
01:32:21,572 --> 01:32:24,613
Speaker 16: make it, but most of the pod made it back offshore.

1923
01:32:25,772 --> 01:32:28,532
Speaker 16: Gang expert doctor Jared Gilbert aren't lanes the pros and

1924
01:32:28,612 --> 01:32:32,013
Speaker 16: cons of the government's controversial new patch ban. You can

1925
01:32:32,053 --> 01:32:34,652
Speaker 16: read the full column it ends in Herald Premium. Back

1926
01:32:34,692 --> 01:32:36,252
Speaker 16: to matt Ethan Tyler Adams.

1927
01:32:36,372 --> 01:32:38,812
Speaker 3: Thank you, Aileen, it's twenty two to four and a

1928
01:32:38,853 --> 01:32:42,892
Speaker 3: fascinating discussion about what makes a relationship work long term

1929
01:32:42,893 --> 01:32:44,532
Speaker 3: and a great phone call from Morris.

1930
01:32:44,612 --> 01:32:47,293
Speaker 2: Yeah, Morris is really fired up the text machine. Here's

1931
01:32:47,333 --> 01:32:50,133
Speaker 2: something from Susie thirteen kids with ten women Marris no

1932
01:32:50,333 --> 01:32:55,093
Speaker 2: I am Catholic. There are methods available to you exactly.

1933
01:32:55,973 --> 01:32:57,892
Speaker 2: But you know, all these thirteen kids that he's got

1934
01:32:57,933 --> 01:33:00,612
Speaker 2: with these ten women, they're probably all fantastic people and

1935
01:33:00,652 --> 01:33:01,852
Speaker 2: we're happy to have them on the planet.

1936
01:33:01,933 --> 01:33:05,293
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, absolutely nicely, said a quick text here from

1937
01:33:05,333 --> 01:33:07,732
Speaker 3: Susan as well. I would hate to be with that

1938
01:33:07,893 --> 01:33:10,652
Speaker 3: man as all those kids. I am older. They're my husband,

1939
01:33:10,652 --> 01:33:13,213
Speaker 3: and so we enjoy doing things together. My husband will

1940
01:33:13,253 --> 01:33:16,452
Speaker 3: often phone me up it is lunchtime. He is a

1941
01:33:16,452 --> 01:33:19,333
Speaker 3: builder and works very hard, which I do appreciate that

1942
01:33:19,492 --> 01:33:20,812
Speaker 3: love the lunchtime phone calls.

1943
01:33:20,933 --> 01:33:23,372
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, Yeah, I think I think a phone

1944
01:33:23,372 --> 01:33:26,812
Speaker 2: call is important thing, isn't it? You know, communication, telling

1945
01:33:26,853 --> 01:33:28,772
Speaker 2: people what's going on in your life. Yeah, you know,

1946
01:33:28,812 --> 01:33:30,732
Speaker 2: I think I think that's probably quite quite a good

1947
01:33:30,732 --> 01:33:31,493
Speaker 2: thing for relationships.

1948
01:33:31,532 --> 01:33:34,293
Speaker 3: Do you do that during the day? We are we

1949
01:33:34,452 --> 01:33:35,732
Speaker 3: romantic text here and there.

1950
01:33:36,093 --> 01:33:37,972
Speaker 2: If I see something funny, I might send a picture.

1951
01:33:38,053 --> 01:33:42,652
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good. Humor is important. Andrew, how are you

1952
01:33:42,692 --> 01:33:43,333
Speaker 3: this afternoon?

1953
01:33:44,652 --> 01:33:44,812
Speaker 20: Good?

1954
01:33:44,853 --> 01:33:45,173
Speaker 21: Tyler?

1955
01:33:45,173 --> 01:33:45,532
Speaker 10: How are you?

1956
01:33:45,692 --> 01:33:45,892
Speaker 14: Yeah?

1957
01:33:45,933 --> 01:33:46,093
Speaker 12: Good?

1958
01:33:46,093 --> 01:33:47,333
Speaker 3: What's your thoughts?

1959
01:33:48,933 --> 01:33:53,053
Speaker 21: As I listen to people talking often saying that when

1960
01:33:53,253 --> 01:33:57,412
Speaker 21: a relationship beens, there's a feeling that I don't know

1961
01:33:57,652 --> 01:34:00,972
Speaker 21: you have to hate the other one. And I think

1962
01:34:01,013 --> 01:34:04,293
Speaker 21: it's important to think of there, how are you gonna

1963
01:34:04,812 --> 01:34:08,612
Speaker 21: have a relationships Hair? Your weeks are that as and

1964
01:34:09,293 --> 01:34:11,253
Speaker 21: is as important as how.

1965
01:34:11,093 --> 01:34:12,333
Speaker 19: You enter it.

1966
01:34:12,372 --> 01:34:16,772
Speaker 21: So you and I'm only speaking from personal experience, and

1967
01:34:16,812 --> 01:34:20,093
Speaker 21: I think everyone's got to find their own ying and

1968
01:34:20,173 --> 01:34:24,692
Speaker 21: yang and xing with a partner. But my either twenty

1969
01:34:24,772 --> 01:34:27,053
Speaker 21: seven year old son to a different woman than my

1970
01:34:27,253 --> 01:34:30,732
Speaker 21: current partner, and I have two children to my current partner.

1971
01:34:31,253 --> 01:34:35,133
Speaker 21: My ex partner is the god godmother of my two

1972
01:34:35,253 --> 01:34:40,532
Speaker 21: children with my new one, and I look, it takes

1973
01:34:40,532 --> 01:34:44,572
Speaker 21: out all that I guess arguing over visitation rights and

1974
01:34:44,652 --> 01:34:47,612
Speaker 21: all of that sort of things. It's just we are

1975
01:34:47,652 --> 01:34:52,333
Speaker 21: still a family unit, but just different. I guess what's

1976
01:34:52,412 --> 01:34:57,692
Speaker 21: the normous And it is a reflection of Hair. Myself

1977
01:34:57,692 --> 01:35:01,213
Speaker 21: and my ex ended that furse relationship, and it was

1978
01:35:01,293 --> 01:35:04,213
Speaker 21: with the same love and respect that we ended it with.

1979
01:35:04,412 --> 01:35:07,972
Speaker 21: We worked there very quickly that whilst we love each other,

1980
01:35:08,412 --> 01:35:10,732
Speaker 21: it's the worst thing for the world was for us

1981
01:35:10,772 --> 01:35:15,053
Speaker 21: to be a couple. And I think if you acknowledge

1982
01:35:15,133 --> 01:35:18,333
Speaker 21: that to yourself and you're honest with the person who

1983
01:35:18,372 --> 01:35:22,572
Speaker 21: are techning with then you can exitent with with respect

1984
01:35:22,612 --> 01:35:25,412
Speaker 21: and love. You know, have to go and cheat and

1985
01:35:25,412 --> 01:35:30,012
Speaker 21: find someone else as your method of breaking up with someone.

1986
01:35:30,093 --> 01:35:36,012
Speaker 21: I just I've never understood cheating. I just I just don't.

1987
01:35:36,133 --> 01:35:39,892
Speaker 21: If you love someone, you're just how can you do

1988
01:35:39,933 --> 01:35:43,892
Speaker 21: that to them? And if you've fallen for someone else,

1989
01:35:44,253 --> 01:35:46,213
Speaker 21: you've got to front up and be honest about at

1990
01:35:46,293 --> 01:35:46,972
Speaker 21: early doors.

1991
01:35:48,253 --> 01:35:48,812
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I.

1992
01:35:50,452 --> 01:35:51,652
Speaker 21: Just knew we shouldn't be together.

1993
01:35:51,973 --> 01:35:53,933
Speaker 2: There's a lot of you know, talking about relationships, but

1994
01:35:54,213 --> 01:35:55,772
Speaker 2: a lot of people don't really know how to end

1995
01:35:55,812 --> 01:35:59,013
Speaker 2: relationships when they have to, or behave when a relationship

1996
01:35:59,013 --> 01:36:03,133
Speaker 2: has been end ended on them and asking someone about

1997
01:36:03,133 --> 01:36:06,093
Speaker 2: this the other day. And the most important thing that

1998
01:36:06,133 --> 01:36:09,732
Speaker 2: you've got to do, I believe when a relationship ends

1999
01:36:09,853 --> 01:36:13,372
Speaker 2: is keep your dignity. Yeah, you got hold onto your dignity.

2000
01:36:13,973 --> 01:36:19,293
Speaker 2: And that involves not being an idiot, not yelling, screaming,

2001
01:36:19,452 --> 01:36:22,333
Speaker 2: not over texting, not hang out in front of workplaces,

2002
01:36:22,372 --> 01:36:24,293
Speaker 2: the whole bunch of things that people can do. And

2003
01:36:24,333 --> 01:36:26,213
Speaker 2: so then they've not only lost their partner, but they've

2004
01:36:26,213 --> 01:36:28,972
Speaker 2: lost their dignity. So if anyone's going through a breakup,

2005
01:36:29,013 --> 01:36:30,732
Speaker 2: I think that's the thing they've got to always just

2006
01:36:30,853 --> 01:36:33,772
Speaker 2: hold on to remember, keep your dignity, Keep your dignity,

2007
01:36:33,812 --> 01:36:36,093
Speaker 2: it's all you've got. You behave in a way that

2008
01:36:36,133 --> 01:36:38,173
Speaker 2: you can feel proud of yourself once you've gotten over

2009
01:36:38,173 --> 01:36:40,692
Speaker 2: this person, because if you look back and you've not

2010
01:36:40,772 --> 01:36:43,612
Speaker 2: only lost someone, but you've made an absolute fool of yourself,

2011
01:36:44,173 --> 01:36:47,052
Speaker 2: then you not only hate them, you hate yourself as well.

2012
01:36:47,253 --> 01:36:52,213
Speaker 3: Exactly just on that and my long term partner before mate,

2013
01:36:52,333 --> 01:36:55,613
Speaker 3: we were together about six years and the way that

2014
01:36:55,612 --> 01:36:59,412
Speaker 3: that ended. I wasn't that happy to lose dignity. No,

2015
01:36:59,492 --> 01:37:01,812
Speaker 3: I didn't lose my dignity, but my partner. I'm not

2016
01:37:01,812 --> 01:37:05,572
Speaker 3: going to mention her name. She was very upset with me,

2017
01:37:05,853 --> 01:37:08,093
Speaker 3: and I thought the best approach there was that you

2018
01:37:08,133 --> 01:37:11,452
Speaker 3: ever to be ah yeah, yeah, looking back, we were

2019
01:37:11,492 --> 01:37:15,333
Speaker 3: not compatible, were definitely not compatible. But I thought the

2020
01:37:15,372 --> 01:37:18,772
Speaker 3: best approach was a clean cut, that I stop all

2021
01:37:18,772 --> 01:37:21,412
Speaker 3: communication and have that clean cut. I look back now

2022
01:37:21,452 --> 01:37:24,492
Speaker 3: and I regret that because now we're not on speaking terms.

2023
01:37:24,492 --> 01:37:26,932
Speaker 3: We may you know, I saw her about three years

2024
01:37:26,933 --> 01:37:29,133
Speaker 3: ago and we were okay chatting to each other, but

2025
01:37:30,213 --> 01:37:33,452
Speaker 3: part of me deeply regrets that that I should have

2026
01:37:34,293 --> 01:37:36,733
Speaker 3: done that in a better way. Has kept those communications

2027
01:37:36,812 --> 01:37:38,852
Speaker 3: lines open. If she was angry at me, let her

2028
01:37:38,893 --> 01:37:42,492
Speaker 3: be angry and with you know the once time goes on.

2029
01:37:42,572 --> 01:37:45,173
Speaker 3: That we could have remained some sort of friendship there,

2030
01:37:45,173 --> 01:37:48,133
Speaker 3: but we are. We're not friends anymore, and part of

2031
01:37:48,133 --> 01:37:49,093
Speaker 3: me I'm good at about that.

2032
01:37:49,333 --> 01:37:52,972
Speaker 2: You Heartbreakerson says, Hey, Matt and Tyl left. That guy

2033
01:37:53,133 --> 01:37:55,852
Speaker 2: with the thirteen kids, nine mothers was such a good Catholic.

2034
01:37:55,893 --> 01:37:58,133
Speaker 2: He would have married who got married to the first

2035
01:37:58,133 --> 01:38:00,412
Speaker 2: baby moment and still be with that. How unfair to

2036
01:38:00,492 --> 01:38:02,972
Speaker 2: those children to have all those siblings split over multiple

2037
01:38:03,013 --> 01:38:06,173
Speaker 2: households or the part time dad spreads so thin as

2038
01:38:06,173 --> 01:38:10,052
Speaker 2: regards Tracy, Yeah, context not my trace is a different spelling.

2039
01:38:10,173 --> 01:38:12,892
Speaker 3: Yeah Morris again though, man, people love.

2040
01:38:12,812 --> 01:38:14,812
Speaker 2: Them when Marris rings, saying only we've only talked to

2041
01:38:14,853 --> 01:38:16,972
Speaker 2: him twice, but both times he've got the text between

2042
01:38:17,053 --> 01:38:21,812
Speaker 2: going on. He's a controversial figure, but he's full of confidence.

2043
01:38:21,812 --> 01:38:24,252
Speaker 3: We love him. Seventeen to four.

2044
01:38:25,933 --> 01:38:29,253
Speaker 1: Mattie Tyler Adams with you as your afternoon rolls on,

2045
01:38:29,372 --> 01:38:32,732
Speaker 1: Matt Tyler Adams Afternoons used talk said, be.

2046
01:38:33,933 --> 01:38:38,853
Speaker 3: Youse talk said, is fourteen to four really interesting conversation

2047
01:38:38,973 --> 01:38:43,052
Speaker 3: about relationships of what makes a relationship work, and I'm

2048
01:38:43,093 --> 01:38:45,852
Speaker 3: none the wiser really, I mean after Morris is convo

2049
01:38:46,013 --> 01:38:48,452
Speaker 3: and I love Morris, but holy.

2050
01:38:48,372 --> 01:38:51,133
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. So as someone said, a let's peak

2051
01:38:51,173 --> 01:38:55,533
Speaker 2: the interest Maris with his thirteen kids with ten women. Yeah,

2052
01:38:56,133 --> 01:38:58,892
Speaker 2: this text nine two high boys. Can you organize a

2053
01:38:59,093 --> 01:39:01,293
Speaker 2: Q and a segment with Morris? My curacy has been

2054
01:39:01,333 --> 01:39:01,972
Speaker 2: peaked that.

2055
01:39:02,293 --> 01:39:03,213
Speaker 3: We definitely will do that.

2056
01:39:03,293 --> 01:39:07,333
Speaker 2: But also, hey, Tyler is should have not should of?

2057
01:39:07,692 --> 01:39:08,253
Speaker 2: That's from hither.

2058
01:39:08,933 --> 01:39:10,133
Speaker 3: Oh there's a smiley face there.

2059
01:39:11,933 --> 01:39:15,013
Speaker 2: But look, we're we're here, you and me, Tyler, we're

2060
01:39:15,013 --> 01:39:20,572
Speaker 2: here to become better people. And the includes horrific pronunciation

2061
01:39:21,692 --> 01:39:26,213
Speaker 2: and and our grammar and addiction. It's terrible, particularly yours.

2062
01:39:26,213 --> 01:39:28,213
Speaker 2: Mine's pretty good unless you get me talking about milk.

2063
01:39:29,692 --> 01:39:31,372
Speaker 2: That that really gets the text machine going when we

2064
01:39:31,372 --> 01:39:32,372
Speaker 2: talk about milk prices.

2065
01:39:32,452 --> 01:39:35,173
Speaker 3: Yeah, they love that Southern twining, don't they. It's milk,

2066
01:39:35,452 --> 01:39:39,333
Speaker 3: it's milk, milk, it's milk, Tyler, Sarah, how are you this.

2067
01:39:39,293 --> 01:39:41,333
Speaker 20: Afternoon glass thing?

2068
01:39:41,452 --> 01:39:47,972
Speaker 3: Guys, Now you are forty eight years old and carry on,

2069
01:39:48,093 --> 01:39:49,452
Speaker 3: You've got a story to tell us.

2070
01:39:49,612 --> 01:39:54,372
Speaker 20: Yeah, yeah, we're in formed two when I meet my

2071
01:39:54,452 --> 01:40:00,133
Speaker 20: daughter's stead. So we we're frings. Hook up was something

2072
01:40:00,133 --> 01:40:04,412
Speaker 20: when I was lying teen and got pregnant. Uh, I

2073
01:40:04,532 --> 01:40:06,973
Speaker 20: need to do it to o the day because I

2074
01:40:07,053 --> 01:40:10,492
Speaker 20: got house problems, he believes. See, so I couldn't raise

2075
01:40:10,532 --> 01:40:19,492
Speaker 20: wake it up by myself. Yep, yes, you see. So

2076
01:40:19,732 --> 01:40:22,892
Speaker 20: we've always been friends and we still have friends here

2077
01:40:22,933 --> 01:40:30,612
Speaker 20: today and it's like three years of friendship. Yeah, he believes.

2078
01:40:30,812 --> 01:40:35,012
Speaker 20: So I couldn't raise up for myself. She leaves dead.

2079
01:40:35,213 --> 01:40:35,652
Speaker 20: You see.

2080
01:40:35,973 --> 01:40:38,572
Speaker 3: Are you still together now, Sarah?

2081
01:40:38,732 --> 01:40:44,052
Speaker 20: No, we broke up. We're still friends because of my daughter.

2082
01:40:44,173 --> 01:40:44,412
Speaker 16: You know.

2083
01:40:44,812 --> 01:40:47,452
Speaker 20: It's a private thing. Well a long time.

2084
01:40:47,893 --> 01:40:49,372
Speaker 3: Yeah, And why did you break up?

2085
01:40:51,013 --> 01:40:56,093
Speaker 20: A good last generations, you know, and we've asn't got

2086
01:40:56,173 --> 01:41:00,253
Speaker 20: good parents. It's just not me and nn as our

2087
01:41:00,692 --> 01:41:04,932
Speaker 20: parents and my parents are being together all my life.

2088
01:41:06,173 --> 01:41:11,213
Speaker 20: His parents are been together. Lesson comes from stable families.

2089
01:41:11,492 --> 01:41:13,612
Speaker 3: Yeah.

2090
01:41:13,732 --> 01:41:20,093
Speaker 20: One song. One song was really influenced when I was

2091
01:41:20,133 --> 01:41:25,893
Speaker 20: growing up as a teenagers Madonna's Madonna Mother's.

2092
01:41:25,492 --> 01:41:29,173
Speaker 3: Own preach don't yep, that's good.

2093
01:41:29,372 --> 01:41:35,692
Speaker 20: Yeah, because I'm keeping my baby and I did. I

2094
01:41:35,692 --> 01:41:41,093
Speaker 20: hate too. I needed to do itself. I didn't want

2095
01:41:41,133 --> 01:41:44,133
Speaker 20: to bring it up on my own and someone would

2096
01:41:44,452 --> 01:41:47,812
Speaker 20: these days, I think, oh, we'll stop for good. I'm off,

2097
01:41:47,973 --> 01:41:51,372
Speaker 20: you know I need because I see.

2098
01:41:51,572 --> 01:41:53,772
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, Sarah, you sound like a good mum, and

2099
01:41:53,853 --> 01:41:56,972
Speaker 3: good on you for staying friends. Father.

2100
01:41:57,053 --> 01:41:59,052
Speaker 2: I think this Texas from the controversial Morris.

2101
01:42:00,213 --> 01:42:00,452
Speaker 6: Sure.

2102
01:42:00,612 --> 01:42:04,053
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it seems to be just to clarify, all

2103
01:42:04,093 --> 01:42:06,532
Speaker 2: the kids are very close. Four went to the same school,

2104
01:42:06,532 --> 01:42:09,612
Speaker 2: and every second year we all do Christmas together on birthdays.

2105
01:42:09,853 --> 01:42:12,293
Speaker 2: The oldest kids are in their thirties, are still make

2106
01:42:12,372 --> 01:42:14,213
Speaker 2: it make time for their siblings.

2107
01:42:14,452 --> 01:42:16,372
Speaker 3: Oh that's nice if that is from Morris.

2108
01:42:16,532 --> 01:42:21,333
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm assuming it's from Mars. Yeah, well that's that's

2109
01:42:21,412 --> 01:42:24,052
Speaker 2: the main person people are talking about in the text machines.

2110
01:42:24,133 --> 01:42:27,052
Speaker 3: Yeah right, we're going to wrap this up very shortly.

2111
01:42:27,173 --> 01:42:29,893
Speaker 2: Another one hundred the other persons. There wasn't Morris the

2112
01:42:29,933 --> 01:42:33,213
Speaker 2: same guy who let rip in the truck he cooked

2113
01:42:33,213 --> 01:42:37,452
Speaker 2: the Dutch ovens, no wonder everyone took off. Yeah, Morris

2114
01:42:37,532 --> 01:42:39,333
Speaker 2: was the one that said that he couldn't work with

2115
01:42:39,372 --> 01:42:42,333
Speaker 2: someone because she couldn't handle that he liked to break

2116
01:42:42,372 --> 01:42:45,293
Speaker 2: wind in the yute on the way to work. So Marris,

2117
01:42:45,452 --> 01:42:50,372
Speaker 2: he's he's a controversial figure, but ring any time, Morris.

2118
01:42:50,053 --> 01:42:53,372
Speaker 3: We love your course. One hundred eighty. Ten eighty is

2119
01:42:53,452 --> 01:42:55,652
Speaker 3: the number to call. It is ten to four.

2120
01:42:57,412 --> 01:43:00,892
Speaker 1: The big stories, the big issues, the big trends, and

2121
01:43:01,133 --> 01:43:04,932
Speaker 1: everything in between. That Heath and Tyler Adams Afternoons you

2122
01:43:05,013 --> 01:43:07,532
Speaker 1: for twenty twenty four US talk, said B said B.

2123
01:43:08,612 --> 01:43:11,372
Speaker 3: Six to four. We're talking about relationships.

2124
01:43:11,452 --> 01:43:13,732
Speaker 2: Yeah, after a great article that you'll find in the

2125
01:43:13,772 --> 01:43:17,133
Speaker 2: Herald from psychologist Net Beats talking about his thirty year

2126
01:43:17,173 --> 01:43:20,452
Speaker 2: career and hundreds of Kiwi couples. Chris, your thoughts on

2127
01:43:20,532 --> 01:43:23,653
Speaker 2: a successful relationship, Well.

2128
01:43:23,412 --> 01:43:25,092
Speaker 11: I think it's pretty plasic.

2129
01:43:25,253 --> 01:43:25,532
Speaker 18: Really.

2130
01:43:25,772 --> 01:43:28,412
Speaker 11: You've got to have trust, You've got to grow together

2131
01:43:28,572 --> 01:43:30,732
Speaker 11: because you know you hopefully will be together for quite

2132
01:43:30,732 --> 01:43:33,012
Speaker 11: a long time. You've got to have a good sense

2133
01:43:33,013 --> 01:43:36,253
Speaker 11: of humor, share the same sense of humor. But I

2134
01:43:36,293 --> 01:43:39,772
Speaker 11: think values and goals are very important. And I also

2135
01:43:39,893 --> 01:43:42,133
Speaker 11: think that you can't really get ahead unless you share

2136
01:43:42,133 --> 01:43:42,612
Speaker 11: your money.

2137
01:43:43,053 --> 01:43:46,132
Speaker 2: Ah right, Yes, that's what Tyler's not doing. He's squirreling

2138
01:43:46,213 --> 01:43:48,213
Speaker 2: his money away and not sharing it with his partner

2139
01:43:48,213 --> 01:43:49,732
Speaker 2: because he thinks she's been too much.

2140
01:43:50,452 --> 01:43:53,253
Speaker 3: Wow, you guys might think that even though we've got

2141
01:43:53,253 --> 01:43:56,333
Speaker 3: separate account she gets all one money, all my money.

2142
01:43:58,933 --> 01:44:00,613
Speaker 3: How long have you been married Chris.

2143
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Speaker 11: Fifty two years.

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01:44:02,173 --> 01:44:04,253
Speaker 2: Oh I see, there you go. So you need to

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01:44:04,253 --> 01:44:06,933
Speaker 2: listen to Chris other than your scroogey ways.

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01:44:08,333 --> 01:44:10,173
Speaker 3: Thank you very much, Chross. Right, I think that's all

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01:44:10,213 --> 01:44:10,732
Speaker 3: my stars.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I just thought I found this great reading

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01:44:12,853 --> 01:44:14,892
Speaker 2: from a book that I found called a Lifeless Punishing

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01:44:14,893 --> 01:44:18,093
Speaker 2: Thirteen Ways to Love your Life forgot by a It's

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01:44:18,133 --> 01:44:19,173
Speaker 2: by a guy called Matt Heath.

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01:44:19,253 --> 01:44:21,452
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I feel that's okay, yeh yeah yeah, good

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01:44:21,532 --> 01:44:22,572
Speaker 3: good read if you.

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01:44:23,372 --> 01:44:25,572
Speaker 2: Are reading from it. It's the number one. It was

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01:44:25,572 --> 01:44:28,652
Speaker 2: the number one best seller, this book from Matt Heath.

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01:44:29,412 --> 01:44:31,093
Speaker 2: If you spend your life searching for a person who

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01:44:31,133 --> 01:44:33,253
Speaker 2: doesn't exist, you're going to spend a serious amount of

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01:44:33,253 --> 01:44:35,372
Speaker 2: your time on your own. And his life changing book

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01:44:35,412 --> 01:44:39,333
Speaker 2: The Course of Love, British author Alan Debuton argues that

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01:44:39,452 --> 01:44:42,692
Speaker 2: is infantile to expect someone to be simultaneously a best friend,

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01:44:42,732 --> 01:44:45,093
Speaker 2: a lover, a co part a coach, chaffair, and a

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01:44:45,133 --> 01:44:48,173
Speaker 2: business partner. This idea leads to resentment and disappointment and

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01:44:48,213 --> 01:44:51,452
Speaker 2: ruins marriages that could otherwise have been fruitful and rewarding.

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01:44:51,652 --> 01:44:53,772
Speaker 2: A partner doesn't need to fill all of these roles

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01:44:53,772 --> 01:44:55,812
Speaker 2: in your life. Your mates can be your best mates,

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01:44:55,812 --> 01:44:58,412
Speaker 2: your business partner, your business partner, and your lover. Your lover.

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01:44:58,572 --> 01:45:00,532
Speaker 2: All you have to do is find someone you like

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Speaker 2: who loves you, and you love back once you're done,

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01:45:04,293 --> 01:45:06,013
Speaker 2: settle sensible.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that though. That's a beautiful quote. So

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Speaker 3: what's the book again?

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01:45:09,372 --> 01:45:11,892
Speaker 2: It's a lifeless, punishing Thirteen Ways to Love Your Life

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01:45:11,893 --> 01:45:15,173
Speaker 2: you got by A mad Heath available and all good

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01:45:15,173 --> 01:45:16,612
Speaker 2: bookstores number one be selling.

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01:45:16,692 --> 01:45:17,732
Speaker 3: Can I just borrow that copy?

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01:45:17,893 --> 01:45:19,812
Speaker 2: No, you can buy one off me.

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Speaker 3: Thank you very much for today. Love the conversation that

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Speaker 3: is us though.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and hey, until tomorrow, give them a taste of

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01:45:28,772 --> 01:46:13,932
Speaker 2: keyw from me.

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Speaker 10: Mad and Tyler.

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Speaker 1: For more from News Talk st B, listen live on

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01:46:19,452 --> 01:46:22,412
Speaker 1: air or online, and keep our shows with you wherever

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01:46:22,492 --> 01:46:25,053
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