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Speaker 1: The ZiTm Podcast Network.

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Speaker 2: I just was so completely terrified in that moment, but

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Speaker 2: I just remember instantly having this feeling of oh, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to die here. Now I look back on it

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Speaker 2: in a completely different way, where I'm lying you were

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Speaker 2: trying to do things in a world that wasn't really

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Speaker 2: built for you.

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Speaker 3: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Hope Is Real

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Speaker 3: the podcast. The podcast designed to help you feel a

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Speaker 3: little less alone, a bit more inspired, and.

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Speaker 4: Of course, as always a lot more hopeful.

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Speaker 3: Now this is my final interview episode of the season.

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Speaker 3: I've got one more episode coming up next week, which

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Speaker 3: Isn't Asked Me Anything.

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Speaker 4: Submit your questions. We're going to be answering a whole

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Speaker 4: lot of them.

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Speaker 3: But this episode, I have one of my favorite humans

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Speaker 3: on this planet, and I don't say that lightly. If

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Speaker 3: you live in New Zealand, even if maybe live in Australia,

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Speaker 3: you might know who this person is. Brie Thomas l

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Speaker 3: She is from the Bri and Clint Show on ZiTm,

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Speaker 3: the Drive show.

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Speaker 4: You may ener honestly Britishish Island.

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Speaker 3: She has recently just released a book called Unapologetically Me.

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Speaker 3: Bree's story is I don't even really know how to

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Speaker 3: explain it. Honestly, you're just gonna have to listen to it.

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Speaker 3: She has gone through some crazy things and has come

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Speaker 3: out the other side and has chosen to speak about

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Speaker 3: this so that other people don't feel so alone. And

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Speaker 3: I will, as always put it a bit of a

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Speaker 3: trigger warning. On this episode. We do talk about the

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Speaker 3: specific trauma that is involved with it, which is around

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Speaker 3: a home invasion, which is a very traumatic home invasion,

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Speaker 3: which does go into detail. But if at any point

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Speaker 3: in time you feel like you need to take a

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Speaker 3: break or anything like that, as always, you can pause this,

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Speaker 3: you can come back to it, you can choose some

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Speaker 3: We'll come back to it as well.

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Speaker 4: That's okay.

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Speaker 3: Breach out for help if you need it, contact your

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Speaker 3: local helplines, talk to friends and family members. If anything

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Speaker 3: in this episode comes up and you feel like you

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Speaker 3: want to chat, that's okay.

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Speaker 4: But Bri and her incredible story as coming up right

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Speaker 4: after this. Brie, welcome to Hope, as were all the podcast.

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Speaker 1: I feel honored, Jazz, I feel.

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Speaker 4: Honored that you're here.

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Speaker 3: This is I was thinking about it when I was

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Speaker 3: driving in to do this. I don't know how many

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Speaker 3: years I've been doing interviews on your show for I

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Speaker 3: think every season of this podcast. I've come on and chatted.

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Speaker 3: I've managed to dig up a photo of I think

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Speaker 3: when I think it was before the first but the

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Speaker 3: first podcast episode came out, and it would have been

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Speaker 3: maybe when a book came out or something of you

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Speaker 3: guys before we were actually friends. So we've been doing

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Speaker 3: I don't know how many interviews.

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Speaker 2: Don't don't out me on how old I am and

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Speaker 2: how long I've been doing radio, but yes, we've knownly

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Speaker 2: done it for a long time.

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Speaker 1: In it will be seven years at the end of

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Speaker 1: this year. Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what it would have been Girl on

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Speaker 3: the Bridge when the movie came out. I think I

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Speaker 3: did a and I think that'll be on Oh my Goodness.

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Speaker 3: For those who don't know or if you're not from

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Speaker 3: New Zealand, Brie is the one of the drive hosts

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Speaker 3: from the print Print.

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Speaker 4: Show Short at the Branklin.

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Speaker 3: Show on zid in which also this is part of

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Speaker 3: the zitim podcast network.

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Speaker 4: But you have just had a book.

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Speaker 3: Come out which I been read in a day, which,

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Speaker 3: first of all, to anyone who knows me, knows I

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Speaker 3: don't do that. Did you binge read in a whole day. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: Like I literally said, I did not put it down.

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Speaker 3: I could not put it down, and I knew, being

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Speaker 3: honest with me, one hundred my friends ask my housemates,

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Speaker 3: I missed the shoe as well.

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Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure you did.

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Speaker 1: You send me such a lot.

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Speaker 3: It was like, this was insane, and now my housemates

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Speaker 3: are all reading it as well.

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Speaker 4: And after I read it, like like I said, i'd.

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Speaker 3: Kind of I've known you for a long time, I know,

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Speaker 3: but some pieces of your story and I've wanted you

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Speaker 3: to come on this podcast for a while, but you

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Speaker 3: hadn't really talked about a lot of this stuff publicly

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Speaker 3: before this.

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Speaker 4: Book kind of came out into the world.

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Speaker 3: And I do want to get to there, but I

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Speaker 3: would love to just kind of go literally right back

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Speaker 3: to the start.

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Speaker 4: What was life like growing up for you?

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Speaker 2: Life was amazing as a kid, Like I grew up

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Speaker 2: on an apple orchard farm kid.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I wore shoes till I was like five.

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Speaker 2: It was just, yeah, an incredible childhood, Like I had

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Speaker 2: have amazing parents and we just had this really kind

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Speaker 2: of I lived in a bubble really like country kids

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Speaker 2: we live in a very naive bubble and yeah, it

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Speaker 2: was awesome, like, played a lot of sport, loved school,

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Speaker 2: loved everything until obviously.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I talk about it in the book.

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Speaker 2: A really traumatic event that happened to me when I

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Speaker 2: was nine years old, and I feel like from that

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Speaker 2: day it set me on a different path. And you know,

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Speaker 2: that bubble was definitely burst and yeah, changed my life forever.

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Speaker 3: I still remember the exact moment where we were when

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Speaker 3: you first told me about what had happened when you

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Speaker 3: were nine, and we were I was driving you home

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Speaker 3: from it, went to the comedy show, and then we

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Speaker 3: went to an after party together, and then I was

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Speaker 3: driving that's right. Yeah, And I remember it because I

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Speaker 3: remember being in the car with you and you started

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Speaker 3: talking about this, but at the same time you were

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Speaker 3: also like, I mean, it's not as bad as and

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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 4: Like, Brie, but it was so like to the fact,

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Speaker 4: I still.

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Speaker 3: Remember like every aspect of that conversation because what you

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Speaker 3: went through and then reading it kind of and the book,

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Speaker 3: it just was so it's so insane.

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Speaker 4: Can you tell people who haven't read the book? Ye, yeah,

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Speaker 4: what happened when you and I?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I was home from school because I was

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Speaker 2: sick at the time, and my mum, me and my

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Speaker 2: brother we went into town to visit my nan. So

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Speaker 2: we lived on the outskirts of town, so like about

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Speaker 2: fifteen minutes outside of Stanthorpe where I lived, where I lived,

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Speaker 2: and we went to visit my nan, who lived in

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Speaker 2: the township.

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Speaker 1: And it was just a.

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Speaker 2: Normal day visiting my nan. And I remember I was

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Speaker 2: sitting at the kitchen table and there was a knock

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Speaker 2: at the door. And in a country town, you know,

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Speaker 2: people pop over ask for a cup of sugar, That's

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Speaker 2: what it's really like. And my Nan made her way

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Speaker 2: to the front door, and I just remember immediately knowing

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Speaker 2: that something wasn't right, and it's a feeling that you

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Speaker 2: never want to get where it takes over your entire body.

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Speaker 2: And I remember hearing these voices of these two men

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Speaker 2: who pushed their way inside and they were holding my

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Speaker 2: nan at knife point. And I mean, as a kid

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Speaker 2: growing up in the country, I had never experienced anything

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Speaker 2: like that, never seen anything like that, never heard about

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Speaker 2: anything like that. But I just remember instantly having this

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Speaker 2: feeling of, oh, I'm going to die here, and as

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Speaker 2: a nine year old, like I just was so completely

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Speaker 2: terrified in that moment, and I just remember I kept

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Speaker 2: looking at my mum and my Nan, who was so

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Speaker 2: harm and I think it was because I was in

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Speaker 2: the room and they didn't want to panic me more.

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Speaker 2: And it was at one point where one of the

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Speaker 2: guys started ransacking the house and they were they were addicts,

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Speaker 2: looking for a quick buck, looking for whatever they could get.

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Speaker 1: That's what they were doing. And so one was ransacking

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Speaker 1: the house.

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Speaker 2: And it was at that point that the other one

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Speaker 2: who had sat my Nan down at that point, became

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Speaker 2: really angry because he was asking my mum for the

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Speaker 2: keys to our car that was parked out the front,

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Speaker 2: and my mum stood up and handed over her purse

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Speaker 2: and he pulls out this banking bag because obviously we

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Speaker 2: had a business and my mum had just done the

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Speaker 2: banking that day. It's like a calico banking bag. And

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Speaker 2: he's like, you're fucking with me, Like this is bullshit.

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Speaker 2: And it was at that point where he threatened to

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Speaker 2: take me and kidnap me, and all I remember is

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Speaker 2: looking at my mom, just completely terrified, and I remember

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Speaker 2: her saying to him in that moment, you can do

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Speaker 2: whatever you want to do.

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Speaker 1: Just don't hurt my daughter and take me with you.

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Speaker 1: I will go. And oh it makes me, it makes

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Speaker 1: me like I can.

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Speaker 2: I still remember how I felt, I still remember how

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Speaker 2: they smelt like. I just remember everything about that moment,

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Speaker 2: and I truly saw how much my mom would give

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Speaker 2: up for me, which was her own life, you know,

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Speaker 2: and from that day, like, I've never been the same

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Speaker 2: and my childhood, you know, was never the same from

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Speaker 2: that moment.

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Speaker 3: If you could say anything to those mean, what would

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Speaker 3: you say?

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Speaker 2: I would I don't know if i'd want to say

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Speaker 2: anything to them, but I think I'd just be like,

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Speaker 2: do you understand what your actions and what your decisions

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Speaker 2: you made on those days, how they affected people? Because

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Speaker 2: I don't think people really realize sometimes the lasting effects

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Speaker 2: you can have on another person. But from that day,

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Speaker 2: my mom, my, Nan and I were changed forever.

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Speaker 3: I was I'm gonna cry again, but I was crying

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Speaker 3: when I was reading it in the book because I

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Speaker 3: again knowing you and also knowing kind of everything else

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Speaker 3: in the book and context of all the stuff that

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Speaker 3: you went through, but then knowing the person that you are.

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Speaker 3: And this is why I think I said in the

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Speaker 3: message to you but the way that you show up

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Speaker 3: for people, in the way that there is every every

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Speaker 3: excuse for you to have not become the person that

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Speaker 3: you are from that like that and everything else that

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Speaker 3: you've been through is like it's reckon horrific and like

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Speaker 3: you said, it changes a person. But you are like

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Speaker 3: one of the most loyal people. You Like you were

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Speaker 3: there for me when my world was flipping upside down,

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Speaker 3: Like you're the friend that shows up, and I think

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Speaker 3: that's just such a testament to your I'm.

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Speaker 4: Going at a ball as well.

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Speaker 3: No, but it has because I remember I did a

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Speaker 3: video a while ago that was talking about the fact

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Speaker 3: that everyone says, like, oh, your trauma made you stronger,

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Speaker 3: but your trauma traumatized you, and in your case, it

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Speaker 3: literally changed your entire life. And what made you stronger

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Speaker 3: was you and whatever you did between nine and now,

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Speaker 3: every day that you had to get up and face

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Speaker 3: it and live with those panicked feelings and things like,

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Speaker 3: you've just become one of the most phenomenal people that

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: Not because of that, but despite that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's honestly one of the nicest things someone has

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Speaker 2: ever said about me.

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Speaker 1: It's it's a funny thing.

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Speaker 2: So someone asked me the other day because obviously this

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Speaker 2: book has opened a lot of conversations, which I'm ready

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Speaker 2: to have those conversations now, and I'm really proud of

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Speaker 2: myself that I've been able to be vulnerable enough to

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Speaker 2: open those doors. But someone asked me, and they said,

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Speaker 2: what do you think or how do you think you

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Speaker 2: would be.

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Speaker 1: If that didn't happen to you?

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Speaker 2: And it's something that I'd never thought about before, Like

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Speaker 2: would I have anxious thoughts? Would I have panic attacks?

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Speaker 2: Would I have become the person that I am today.

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Speaker 2: It's such a weird thing to think about and something that, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I've never really thought about that before. It's kind of

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Speaker 2: hard to think about, to be honest, because I feel like,

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Speaker 2: you know, those two men stole my childhood in a

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Speaker 2: lot of ways and stole that feeling of lightness, you know,

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Speaker 2: that I don't think I've ever had since that day.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think they didn't just steal your childhood, that

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Speaker 3: they stole your peace. This is something that didn't just

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Speaker 3: affect you in your childhood years, and it's so it's

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Speaker 3: so hard to know. And I've actually been having a

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Speaker 3: similar conversation with my therapist. At the moment, we've been

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Speaker 3: going back through my early child protection files together, and

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Speaker 3: a lot of the stuff in there from when I

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Speaker 3: was like three, and that same thing of like I

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Speaker 3: wonder the person that I could have been if this

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Speaker 3: not happened. But I was speaking at a conference a

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Speaker 3: while ago and I got asked to speak on resilience,

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Speaker 3: and I feel like resilience is a word that we

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Speaker 3: just hear constantly all the time, and I was like,

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Speaker 3: I want to do something different with this, and I

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Speaker 3: ended up finding a definition that it wasn't talking about humans,

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Speaker 3: but it was talking about objects, And the definition of

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Speaker 3: resilience and objects is to be able to return back

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Speaker 3: to original form. And thinking about that in this context

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Speaker 3: of what your life could have been without that, I

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Speaker 3: think almost the journey of your adult life and through

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Speaker 3: your teen years has been trying to get back to

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Speaker 3: that original form, that kid who.

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Speaker 4: Was happy, who was carefree.

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Speaker 3: Like that's the journey, and that's the part that even

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Speaker 3: you know for me as well, of like getting back

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Speaker 3: to the happy, bubbly girl that was once described in

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Speaker 3: those files. Resilience isn't just about facing through the storm

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Speaker 3: and now I have to work you know about how

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Speaker 3: do you kind of restore what once was?

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Speaker 2: That's such an interesting definition and like as you were saying,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, it's so because

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Speaker 2: you know what, I feel like, there's and you'd be

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Speaker 2: the same.

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Speaker 1: There's those parts of me that I still have.

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Speaker 2: But then I feel like it's quite amazed sometimes to

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Speaker 2: get back to there. And so I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 2: if those traumatic events didn't happen, would it just be

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Speaker 2: more of a straight shot maze to be able to

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Speaker 2: get and unlock those parts of yourself, you know, those

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Speaker 2: the bubbly, happy light parts yourself, Like, would it just

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Speaker 2: be easier to get back there? Whereas now you have

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Speaker 2: these barriers or these you know, walls where you have

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Speaker 2: to figure it out more and it takes time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it takes a lot of time.

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Speaker 3: And it's also like, when stuff like that happens, there's

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Speaker 3: so many different aspects of your life that has affected

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Speaker 3: your trust in people. The PTSD of it. I don't

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Speaker 3: did you ever get diagnosed with PTSD.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting.

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Speaker 2: I went to a psychologist once, this was quite a

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Speaker 2: few years ago, who I told, like, I talked to

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Speaker 2: him about, you know, that event in my life and

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I feel like I could

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Speaker 2: have PTSD, Like I don't obviously, I'm not an expert.

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Speaker 2: I'm not really sure, but and he kind of looked

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Speaker 2: at me and said, you know, I don't know if

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Speaker 2: that's right.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if this is connected with this.

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Speaker 2: And from that moment I kind of just shut it

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Speaker 2: down and was like, oh, well, he says that it

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Speaker 2: wouldn't be the case.

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Speaker 1: But it's interesting.

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Speaker 2: A friend of mine who has a psychology degree read

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Speaker 2: my book and she knows me very well, and she

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Speaker 2: goes for him to say that there's no chance of

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Speaker 2: you having PTSD is mind blowing to me, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And so that's something, yeah, that I've also taken from

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Speaker 2: this process and hopefully we'll find out more in the

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Speaker 2: future about.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it would one hundred percent makes sense

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Speaker 3: purely for the fact that you can still me with

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Speaker 3: the smell of them and like their voice and all

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Speaker 3: that kind of stuff, Like so much of that is

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Speaker 3: related and I don't know if this has happened, you know,

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Speaker 3: I really kind of hope that you never have to

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Speaker 3: run into the smell of that again. But that's a

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Speaker 3: lot of the stuff with those kind of traumatic events.

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Speaker 3: I did a bunch of exposure therapy for mine. So

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Speaker 3: one of the things that I couldn't handle was sunflowers,

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Speaker 3: which sounds really stupid, but for me, one of the

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Speaker 3: things that happened when I was super young, one of

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Speaker 3: the assaults from someone within my household was in a

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Speaker 3: sunflower shed, and so I remember seeing the sunflowers and then.

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Speaker 4: I would have this like visceral reaction to some.

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Speaker 3: Flowers when I see them out and that was just

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Speaker 3: the brain being like just auto associating it. Or if

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Speaker 3: you walk past someone in a mall and you smell

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Speaker 3: the smell of those people, immediately you're back there and

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Speaker 3: being able to remember a lot of those things as

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Speaker 3: things that especially like the fact that that psychologist would

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Speaker 3: be like, oh, nothing's related, like nuts, Like it's you're

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Speaker 3: nine years old, You're being threatened to be kidnapped by

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Speaker 3: these people who are holding a knife to your nanna.

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Speaker 4: How did this How did this situation like resolve?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was I think, like thinking back on it

336
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Speaker 2: now and I can remember every single thing that happened.

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Speaker 2: It was it was in this moment where my mum

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Speaker 2: was pleading with this guy that she would go with

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Speaker 2: him to the bank. She would do whatever he wanted

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Speaker 2: as long as he didn't take me. And it was

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Speaker 2: at that point that the other guy came back into

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Speaker 2: the situation from ransacking the house, and thank god, he

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Speaker 2: had a more level headed thought where he was like,

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Speaker 2: we don't want to do that, Let's leave these people,

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Speaker 2: and he calmed the other guy down, thank god. And

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Speaker 2: I know this is like so ridiculous, but I'm so

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Speaker 2: grateful for that person him in that moment where he, yeah,

348
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Speaker 2: pretty much shut down that situation and they left.

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Speaker 4: Did at any point.

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Speaker 3: So the guy, the one that was threatening to do that,

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Speaker 3: he was one that's holding the knife to your yes, nansa.

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Speaker 1: Did he attend to mine?

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Speaker 4: He held it to ye.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: At that point, he'd sat my hand down, and I remember,

356
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Speaker 2: because I was quite a scorny kid, like I was

357
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Speaker 2: quite a little scorny nine year old, and I remember

358
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Speaker 2: my feet just being able to touch the ground because

359
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Speaker 2: he was holding me with one arm and then kind

360
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,399
Speaker 2: of had this knife so pressed up against my throat

361
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Speaker 2: that it was basically like I couldn't speak because it

362
00:17:55,560 --> 00:18:01,560
Speaker 2: was there was so much pressure, and he obviously wasn't

363
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 2: in his right mind. Like and you could tell that

364
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:10,760
Speaker 2: where everything he was saying, he wasn't thinking properly. And

365
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:15,600
Speaker 2: it was so interesting because after that happened, like the

366
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 2: events that unfolded afterwards, like I had to go as

367
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,919
Speaker 2: a part of the court proceedings, I had to go

368
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,679
Speaker 2: to a child psychologist and they had to assess me

369
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Speaker 2: and deem weather it had had lasting effects on me,

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Speaker 2: And I remember my mum never told me, like she

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Speaker 2: just kind of you know, she tried to shelter me

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Speaker 2: as much as she could. But obviously over the years

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Speaker 2: we've talked about stuff where she has been like, you know,

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Speaker 2: the report from that child psychologist was that you definitely

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Speaker 2: had lasting effects.

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Speaker 4: Did you ever look at that report?

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Speaker 1: I've never seen it.

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00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,200
Speaker 4: You know you can, Yeah, I don't know if you should,

379
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:52,640
Speaker 4: but you can.

380
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,119
Speaker 1: Yeah. It would be interesting and maybe something I'll do

381
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Speaker 1: in the future.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's I only asked because eggin going through all

383
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,919
Speaker 3: the files with my psychologist at the moment, there's an

384
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,160
Speaker 3: interview with me from when I was three years old

385
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 3: that's in there and they kind of document it word

386
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 3: for word, which is insane, But also what made.

387
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 1: You decide to do that?

388
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 2: Where you were like I want to open up those

389
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 2: files from obviously the darkest time in your life and

390
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,960
Speaker 2: work through those What gave you the courage to be

391
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Speaker 2: able to be like, I'm ready to do that?

392
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Speaker 3: I think that to be honest, I started to get

393
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,919
Speaker 3: a lot more kind of PTSD symptoms that were starting

394
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,359
Speaker 3: to come back up again, and there was some of

395
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 3: it there, especially from the earlier years that I have

396
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 3: blacked out completely and also just don't really understand because

397
00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:47,679
Speaker 3: it was so missy like, and so I just was like,

398
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Speaker 3: I'm sick of this controlling my life and my relationships,

399
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,160
Speaker 3: and like I'm still so afraid of people being close

400
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:55,440
Speaker 3: to me.

401
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 4: And I don't want this to control me anymore.

402
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 3: And so I basically just sat down with my theory

403
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 3: and I was like, I want to I want to

404
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,439
Speaker 3: do this now. Yeah, And so yeah, it was literally

405
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 3: it was only last week that we went through and

406
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:12,359
Speaker 3: like read everything together, and I just like sat there

407
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,200
Speaker 3: balling my eyes out, just as I was, you know,

408
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 3: because there's a lot of like there's a lot there's

409
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,640
Speaker 3: a lot in there, and there's a lot of kind

410
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 3: of still confusion because there's you know, three different men

411
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 3: that are named from three to four years old, but

412
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 3: it just it's going to still be a process to

413
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,879
Speaker 3: go through. But it's just that feeling of like, no,

414
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 3: screw you, this is not going to control me anymore.

415
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,399
Speaker 3: And I think for a really long time I had

416
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 3: just managed to push it aside so much.

417
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000
Speaker 4: I'd done like a lot of.

418
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Speaker 1: What so many of us do.

419
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, And you'll take parts and work on certain

420
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,919
Speaker 2: cards and then keep other parts kind of you know,

421
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 2: pushed away.

422
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,560
Speaker 3: And then you but sometimes you don't realize that stuff's

423
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 3: still there until something sparks it. So like for me,

424
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,960
Speaker 3: it was I remember when I was doing Dancing with

425
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,919
Speaker 3: the Stars and we did our very first rehearsal and

426
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,920
Speaker 3: I had to put my hand on my dance partner,

427
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,520
Speaker 3: Brad's chest, and I freaked out like I couldn't do that,

428
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 3: and I was like, what the heck? And that was

429
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,919
Speaker 3: something for me that I then had this memory of

430
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,360
Speaker 3: from And you know, so there's just a whole bunch

431
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 3: of things. And I've done a lot of stuff on

432
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,120
Speaker 3: my like kind of later childhood, but the earlier stuff

433
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Speaker 3: I've never touched.

434
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Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm so proud of you.

435
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 2: That's so amazing, like to be able to say you

436
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 2: know what, I'm not going to let this control me anymore,

437
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,199
Speaker 2: and I'm going to face all this stuff and have

438
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,720
Speaker 2: the courage to open all these parts of my life

439
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 2: that I've pushed down because it's not going to control

440
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 2: me anymore. And that's such a powerful thing. Jazz.

441
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 4: I mean, you've just done the same thing with this book.

442
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 3: Like I remember coming to your house because your dog

443
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 3: was sick at the time and you being like this

444
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 3: is like you're freaking out.

445
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:50,360
Speaker 1: It's terrifying.

446
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,880
Speaker 3: It is terrifying, and I like, the writing process is hard,

447
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 3: and you're having to confront everything, the fact that you

448
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 3: chose to do that, and you really lay it all

449
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 3: bear in this book.

450
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,080
Speaker 4: You're literally like hear it.

451
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 1: See even that makes me anxious, Like, oh my god,

452
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 1: I really did you did?

453
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:09,439
Speaker 3: But but like it's just one I mean, I couldn't

454
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 3: put it down because first of all, I felt like

455
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,880
Speaker 3: I was reading a freaking episode of Law and Order,

456
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 3: Like I.

457
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,639
Speaker 1: Was like, what the hell?

458
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 3: But also like it's just the way that you articulators

459
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 3: is phenomenal and you really kind of get drawn into

460
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 3: too who you are.

461
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 4: But I know that that process is not easy.

462
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,679
Speaker 3: What was the writing process like for you having to

463
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 3: revisit that because you've basically done a form of exposure

464
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 3: therapy yourself by writing about it in detail.

465
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're so right, and as you would know, you've

466
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 2: written like a thousand books.

467
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,040
Speaker 1: I think you were the first person I asked for

468
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: for advice. I was like, how do you do this?

469
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: And you've been just so amazing. Yeah, it was horrible

470
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 1: in parts, horrible.

471
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 3: I also remember at one point you saying, I don't

472
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 3: really have anything to write about.

473
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 4: Bree Thomas Town.

474
00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 2: It's obviously me writting from my past jazz, you know,

475
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,359
Speaker 2: or just me thinking that, yeah, what I have to

476
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 2: say isn't that important, which you know, I've struggled with

477
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 2: self confidence my whole life. But I think in the

478
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 2: process of everything, like I found it really difficult. Like,

479
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 2: don't get me wrong, Like it was one of the

480
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:22,680
Speaker 2: hardest things I've ever done, partly because of the concentration

481
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 2: it takes and how difficult it is, but secondly, yeah,

482
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 2: bringing up every piece of you know, every piece of

483
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,399
Speaker 2: your dark past, like the good, the bad, and the ugly,

484
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,959
Speaker 2: every piece of dirty laundry Undie's included, and writing it

485
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 2: down on a page.

486
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,399
Speaker 1: Where as you're writing it.

487
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 2: You're like, people are going to read this, Like there's

488
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 2: stuff in there that is funny, but I'm super embarrassed

489
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,000
Speaker 2: about it. There's stuff in there that I think is

490
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 2: so raw that only the very very closest people to

491
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 2: me no, And I think getting your head around the

492
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 2: fact that it's going to be out there for anyone

493
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 2: to consume, like is really difficult. But my reason for

494
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 2: writing the book like never waivered during the whole process

495
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,880
Speaker 2: where I was like, I need to be this honest,

496
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,239
Speaker 2: I need to be this vulnerable because I want to

497
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 2: help someone else.

498
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 1: I want.

499
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 2: At least one person, hopefully a few more, because it

500
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 2: did take a long time to read it and to

501
00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 2: just feel understood.

502
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: You know. What's the response been, Like, it's been amazing,

503
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,400
Speaker 1: Like it's such a crazy.

504
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 2: Thing, like in the world we live in today, like

505
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,719
Speaker 2: where people can connect with you, you know, and you

506
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 2: can have conversations with people that you don't know, and

507
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 2: just the response I get from people just saying you've

508
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 2: made me feel like so seen and I feel heard

509
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:02,400
Speaker 2: and understood, and those messages make everything worth it. All

510
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 2: those anxious thoughts, the sleepless nights that.

511
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: I continue to have.

512
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, that connection with people has made everything worth it.

513
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 3: It's the hardest thing putting yourself out there to not

514
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 3: only face the stuff that happened to you, but then

515
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 3: to literally write it out word for word and have

516
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 3: people read it. Is not something a lot of people do,

517
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 3: and it takes a cramped under strength and courage and bravery.

518
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 3: And I know that I've seen this to you before,

519
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 3: but the fact that so many people are gonna find

520
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 3: so much hope and strength and be seen because of

521
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 3: your ability to do that and your story is so like,

522
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: it's so wild in so many ways, not just what

523
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 3: happen when you were nying, but kind of everything else

524
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,120
Speaker 3: that you wrote.

525
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 4: About in their book.

526
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 3: There's so much that people won't relate to my story,

527
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 3: but people relate to yours. People won't late to like

528
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 3: Macro found it like these everyone's story matters.

529
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 1: You know. What do you find that?

530
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 2: I think when it comes down to like, people who

531
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 2: have been there are able to truly understand. And I

532
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 2: feel like that's one thing that I'm so grateful for.

533
00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 2: Like all of the bad stuff, you know, especially that

534
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 2: moment and all the panic attacks and anxious thoughts that

535
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 2: I've had over the years. One of the best things

536
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,600
Speaker 2: that has come from it for me is I'm able

537
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 2: to help people close to me that if they're going

538
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 2: through a similar thing. I've talked people out, like down

539
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 2: from panic attacks. I've been there to be able to

540
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 2: know what they need to hear or to give them

541
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 2: what they need. And that's something I don't think I

542
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: would have unless I have lived it and been through

543
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 2: it myself. And it's something that I'm so grateful for

544
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,119
Speaker 2: and would never want to change about myself. And I

545
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,200
Speaker 2: feel like you're the same.

546
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: I think you know it's so true, and I think

547
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,160
Speaker 3: that that's probably why definitely, and that in that time

548
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 3: that I was like.

549
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, here it all is, I come here, and you

550
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 4: were like, but I.

551
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 3: Also knew that you weren't going to like, well, I

552
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 3: don't know if you were for about I knew that

553
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 3: you wouldn't like freak out and jump to worst k

554
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:12,920
Speaker 3: or like you know, like as whereas a lot of

555
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 3: people can if they don't understand that.

556
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's just like it's just a lot.

557
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 3: And I feel like we've we've kind of shared a

558
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 3: lot of those kind of different moments. I remember you

559
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 3: getting your ADHD diagnosis was.

560
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 1: Which I talk about in the book an I was like,

561
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: I got.

562
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 4: I got a name mentioned there. I felt very special. No,

563
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 4: I again I for.

564
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 3: Some reason, those are the These are the two moments

565
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: I specifically remember with you. One was in the car

566
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 3: hearing that story about the breaking, and then the second

567
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 3: was being in the Xenim office and you came in

568
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 3: and you were like, I think someone said I possibly

569
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 3: potentially have Adhdeah And I was like.

570
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 1: The look on your face where I was like, and

571
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:55,960
Speaker 1: you think.

572
00:27:55,800 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 3: So, I meant listen, well, okay, for what was it

573
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 3: that made you think initially that like, what was it

574
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 3: that made this conversation come up that you were like, oh,

575
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:07,880
Speaker 3: is this is this potentially a thing?

576
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:08,479
Speaker 1: Yeah?

577
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 2: Like it's so I love thinking back on it now

578
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,919
Speaker 2: and how oblivious I was, because I'd never had the

579
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 2: thought where I was like, oh, maybe I've got adhd

580
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 2: and maybe that's why I've always felt a bit out

581
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 2: of place and things have been a bit harder for me.

582
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 2: But it was my producer, Ellie, who worked on The

583
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 2: Brian Clint Show for a number of years, and we're

584
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,560
Speaker 2: like family when you work in a radio show like that,

585
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,920
Speaker 2: and our show's always tight knit because there's not many

586
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: of us, and her and I just from the day

587
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 2: I met her, we connected.

588
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 1: And I always say this to people, I'm like.

589
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 2: Everyone, you know, sometimes I meet people and I'm like,

590
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 2: they're lovely people, They're not my people. And sometimes I'll

591
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 2: meet people and I'll be like my people. Like when

592
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 2: I met you, I was like my people.

593
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,760
Speaker 3: I think we initially connected because we were standing in

594
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 3: the corner of an event one time because we were

595
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 3: both into.

596
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was like, can I stand here with you?

597
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 4: We just stood there and then we became friends essence.

598
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 2: And I was like, do you feel comfortable uncomfortable at events?

599
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 2: And you're like yeah, And I was like, do you

600
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 2: want to stand in the corner this whole time?

601
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: And You're like yeah. Now at every event, I'm like, I.

602
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 4: Literally do the same thing. Goes stand in the corner, yeah.

603
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 1: And just to feel comfortable and like safe.

604
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 2: But yeah, she and she was one of my people

605
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,600
Speaker 2: where I was like, oh, I just connect with this person,

606
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 2: Like there's just something where we're so similar in so

607
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 2: many ways and anyway, we were so close over the

608
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 2: time she worked on the show and then she left

609
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 2: to go do amazing things and she got opportunities. And

610
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 2: it was probably maybe a year and a half or

611
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 2: even two years after she'd left the show, and we'd

612
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 2: still kept in touch and with still friends. But I

613
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 2: remember I get this phone call from her and she

614
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 2: was like, how are you blah blah blah, and I

615
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 2: was like, what's happening with you? And she was like, oh,

616
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 2: I've just been diagnosed with ADHD. And I was like, oh, amazing,

617
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 2: Like how do you feel about that? And she's like, yeah, no,

618
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: it's been really good and I've been working through the process.

619
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 2: She's like, I've actually called to be like, maybe you

620
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: should go and look into this, because you know how

621
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 2: you and I are real similar. And she has a

622
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 2: degree in psychology and she loves she people and understanding people.

623
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, well, she thinks that I

624
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 2: should go get checked. Maybe I should go look into this.

625
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: And in true ADHD form, it took me a year

626
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 2: and finally I think I was ready because I think

627
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 2: deep down from that moment I started doing my own

628
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 2: research and started thinking about things in a different way,

629
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 2: and I think I probably knew, but going through that

630
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 2: process where the first initial assessment was with this beautiful

631
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 2: woman who I talk about in the book.

632
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 1: It was over zoom because it was still all.

633
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: COVID times, and she just said something to me like,

634
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 2: we went through, you know, obviously the process, which is

635
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 2: quite a lengthy thing, where I talked to her about

636
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,040
Speaker 2: my childhood and all the rest of it.

637
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 1: And at the end of it she said to me, she's.

638
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 2: Like, well, look, I'm ninety nine point nine to nine

639
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 2: percent sure that I can say to you that you

640
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: have ADHD.

641
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 1: And she's like, I know, I just want to say.

642
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 2: You know, hearing about you, know, your life and what

643
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 2: you've been through, I'm just so proud of you. And

644
00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,920
Speaker 2: she's like, look at how look at you and how

645
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:37,000
Speaker 2: well you've done and you've battled you know, hope.

646
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 3: And it was right, don't cry, await me cry, because

647
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 3: that's everything that I would want to let that that

648
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 3: articulates everything. Then yeah, I think of you and that

649
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 3: as well, like, oh, I'm not crying.

650
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 1: I'm not crying. I'm not crying.

651
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 2: But it was it was such an amazing moment from

652
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,440
Speaker 2: this woman who I just met in the zoom for

653
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 2: the past two hours, and she was just kind of like,

654
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 2: you know, I wish you had been through this process earlier,

655
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: and you could have understood yourself more and it would

656
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 2: have made things easier for you. And God, it's been amazing,

657
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 2: like getting that diagnosis, and since then, I've done my

658
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 2: own research and it's just given me this whole new

659
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 2: outlook on my entire life and who I am as

660
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: a person, you know, and it's allowed me to be

661
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 2: kinder to myself.

662
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 1: I degrieve the old.

663
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 2: Version of me, like who I thought I was this

664
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,280
Speaker 2: kind of you know, person who never fit in and

665
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 2: struggle their way through and was a bit hopeless at

666
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,600
Speaker 2: times and lazy and all the rest of it.

667
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: But now I.

668
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 2: Look back on it in a completely different way where

669
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, good on you for pushing and struggling

670
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:01,040
Speaker 2: when you were trying to do things in a world

671
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 2: that wasn't really built for you.

672
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:03,080
Speaker 4: Yeah.

673
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I oh man, I remember that that same feeling

674
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 3: when I got diagnosed and being like all of these

675
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 3: things that I thought were just wrong with who I am,

676
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 3: it's just a disorder.

677
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 4: Literally, disorder literally And I like, I.

678
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 3: I know that I, as someone with ADHD struggled a

679
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 3: lot with even relationships and friendships because they're out of sight,

680
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 3: out of mind for.

681
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 4: A lot of people, does I still do? Yeah.

682
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 3: It doesn't just exist for objects, but people, if they're

683
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,239
Speaker 3: not in your everyday world, it's so much harder. And

684
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 3: I remember being like, oh my gosh, it's not just

685
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 3: that I'm not just a terrible friend, Like, it's actually

686
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 3: really hard for me to stay and that's why I

687
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 3: have I don't know how many unread text messages on

688
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 3: my phone?

689
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 1: Don't look at mine? Should we compare? Yeah? We should? Okay, Yeah,

690
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: how many do you have?

691
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 4: Text messages?

692
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: Yeah? Text messages.

693
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 4: Oh, actually, mine's not too bad of text right now.

694
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:52,479
Speaker 4: My emails are terrible.

695
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: What do you Okay, do text and then we'll do emails.

696
00:33:55,320 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 3: Fifty two text four hundred and forty that's insane. Okay, emails,

697
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 3: what do you got?

698
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 1: Wait?

699
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 3: Where's my How do I find my my thing?

700
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: Doesn't it should just be up?

701
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 4: Okay?

702
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 3: Oh no, I have two different apps, so I've got

703
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 3: Gmail and then my other one. But my other one

704
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 3: is thirty nine thousand, seven hundred and eighty five and

705
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 3: my Gmail was eleven two hundred and forty one.

706
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 1: Mine's like two up, so you win the emails.

707
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 3: I think my tics have been reo because I usually

708
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 3: in the hundreds, but they must have been maybe when.

709
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 2: I got you're so in demand though, like the amount

710
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,359
Speaker 2: of people that would be sending you emails offering you this,

711
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 2: oh come and do this jazz or whereas obviously the

712
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 2: people who are closest to you have your number.

713
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so you're better at that.

714
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, my emails. I can't believe.

715
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 2: Email like i'd have thought today, Like I will just

716
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 2: have random thoughts that pop into my mind where I'm like,

717
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 2: remember that email you read like two weeks ago, you

718
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 2: probably should apply to that.

719
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: And like just and I was just like, oh, that's right. Yeah,

720
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: does that happen to you.

721
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 4: All the time, all the time? And then I just

722
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 4: have it.

723
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:08,800
Speaker 3: Then I'll have a day of like I'm going to

724
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 3: reply to everything, and then the next day I'm like,

725
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 3: no other.

726
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 4: Will reply again, and I'm gonna reply again, and.

727
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 3: Then that's another two weeks because like when you reply everyone,

728
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 3: but you don't just do it at once like you

729
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 3: do like one person, you do. You do a bulk

730
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 3: reply to all of the things you've avoided for the last.

731
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: That's exactly how I function.

732
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 4: And my manager always makes fun of me.

733
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 1: He's like, oh yeah, but one of those days.

734
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, that literally the same here even for the podcast,

735
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,439
Speaker 3: like the hy producers and Sam who works here, He'll

736
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 3: always know when I've taken my meds because he'll be like,

737
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,400
Speaker 3: she's just sent me like twelve emails and all of

738
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,359
Speaker 3: the things that we've been needing her to do for

739
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 3: so long, Like, I'm so sorry, I just took my meads.

740
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm hyper focusing. Now are you on?

741
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:50,879
Speaker 4: Are you on medication for you already?

742
00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,719
Speaker 2: No, so not at the moment, like and like I've

743
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,360
Speaker 2: spoken to you because you've been so amazing and given

744
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 2: me advice. And when I was first going through that process,

745
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:05,919
Speaker 2: so I tried one type of medication and I gave

746
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 2: it a go, and I feel like it wasn't really

747
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 2: doing what I wanted it to do and wasn't serving

748
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 2: me or making things easier. So I was like, I'll

749
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,360
Speaker 2: just put that to the side for now, but definitely

750
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that I won't try another one in the

751
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 2: future or you know.

752
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, I definitely, I think.

753
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 1: Because you tried how many of you tried Now.

754
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: I've tried three different ones now, so the first one

755
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:30,879
Speaker 3: didn't work for me at all. The second one, I

756
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 3: thought at the time was because I was focusing and

757
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 3: I was doing all the things about man.

758
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 4: The side effects were wild like that.

759
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 3: I think I was the most hydrated I've ever been

760
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 3: in my entire life, because I would just be glugging

761
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 3: back like really doesn't lead as a water every day

762
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 3: and then the crash was insane. But I also found

763
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: that on the last ones I also struggled to hold

764
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 3: a conversation and that kind of thing as well, whereas

765
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 3: the ones that I've just been put on. So my

766
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 3: psychiatrist was kind of going through all the different options

767
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 3: and he was like, this is one where these other

768
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 3: ones don't work. This is what people can use, and

769
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 3: it has been a game changer. Like literally, the only

770
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 3: thing that it's really doing is quietening my brain and

771
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 3: then just kind of evening out that sounds nice my mood,

772
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 3: and that's kind of it. It's not making me do

773
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:14,800
Speaker 3: the super hyper focus.

774
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,240
Speaker 4: It's not like we're.

775
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 1: Giving you that verse.

776
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I don't.

777
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 3: I don't because it's I take it three times a day,

778
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 3: right this one.

779
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 4: It's some smaller doses.

780
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 3: So it's been like for me, I'm like, oh my gosh,

781
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 3: and this is the first time I've taken ADHD meets

782
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 3: consistently because the last time I wouldn't because I didn't

783
00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 3: like how I felt on it.

784
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,439
Speaker 4: But then I'll be like, oh, my laundry.

785
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 3: Is run out and I've started using bikini bottoms is underwear,

786
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 3: Like I need to focus, I need to focus on

787
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 3: different things. But yeah, it's such a like and for

788
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 3: each person it's different. Like I know that especially for you,

789
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 3: you're in a creative job where your ADHD has served

790
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 3: you well so much superpower. No, literally most of my

791
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 3: career is like my ADHD. I'll give credit to it

792
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 3: because it's like two am Like all of our big

793
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 3: creative ideas that we've had for voices will come at

794
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 3: to Amgen, Like literally two days ago we came out

795
00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 3: with our kind of next. I'm really excited for it.

796
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 3: I think it's one of my favorite creative things I've

797
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 3: come up with. I was standing in the shower and

798
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 3: I literally had music on, so I had my phone

799
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 3: like on the other side, and I grabbed my phone.

800
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 4: I just start voice recording over to Gin and I'm like.

801
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 3: Here's the idea, like in the middle of it, because

802
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,239
Speaker 3: at that time I didn't have my I hadn't taken

803
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,240
Speaker 3: my morning mids.

804
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 4: Yet, but it literally is like it's a superpower.

805
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 3: And they say that people with ADHD don't just think

806
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 3: outside the box, they create an entire new one. And

807
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 3: that's why there's so many people that are super successful

808
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 3: with ADHD. And once they begin to understand that's what

809
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 3: it is, and they can leverage that and not just

810
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 3: think they're a terrible person and like a useless and

811
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 3: lazy and like all of that kind of thing. Like

812
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 3: I remember with voice a few years ago before I

813
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 3: had this diagnosis, we had these two big campaigns that

814
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 3: were running at the same time, and me and Jen

815
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 3: could not be more polar opposite. And she was in

816
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,919
Speaker 3: charge of one. I was in charge of the other.

817
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 3: For her one, she had to like book flights for

818
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,439
Speaker 3: like a whole bunch of people coordinate all these things,

819
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 3: were booking out a movie theater. She like, her to

820
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 3: do list was insane. I had to buy post it notes.

821
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 3: Guess what I forgot to do by post it notes?

822
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 3: She had to buy the post it notes, And I

823
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,760
Speaker 3: remember her being like what they had, like why one tiny?

824
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 3: Or she'd like be like sending me forms and like

825
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 3: why the heat can't you sign it? And then once

826
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,439
Speaker 3: I got the diagnosis, it was like, oh, this makes

827
00:39:21,719 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 3: this makes so much sense, and.

828
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,799
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm so so I'm trying my best, but

829
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 4: I just like fault.

830
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,080
Speaker 1: I'd like bright is why I know?

831
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 4: And it's so.

832
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 3: But also having ADHD mimics a lot of other symptoms

833
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:36,560
Speaker 3: from other illnesses, so a lot of the times people

834
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,359
Speaker 3: can get misdiagnosed as well, and I think, yeah, this

835
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 3: is why kind of doing circling back around to the

836
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 3: question around PTSD, I know that for me when I

837
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 3: was a teenager, I ended up getting diagnosed with originally

838
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,400
Speaker 3: with BPG, which is borderline personality disorder, but it was

839
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 3: really they were kind of like, uh, you don't.

840
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 4: Really fit when they're just shove you.

841
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 3: Yes, there was the easiest thing for them to do,

842
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:04,960
Speaker 3: which was annoying because as well they're label of that

843
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 3: on your hospital files. It's the most misunderstood. It's just

844
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 3: labeled as attention seeking. And then as I got older

845
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 3: and had a rediagnose and like no jazz. You have

846
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:18,479
Speaker 3: ADHD and PTSD and those two things combined, especially because

847
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 3: of the ADHD if you have the hyperfixation on things

848
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 3: as well, and you get stuck in the with the

849
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 3: trauma side of it and the flashbacks and that physical feeling.

850
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 3: Because you think the same way you can get hyper

851
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,359
Speaker 3: focused on like tasks and you know that kind of thing,

852
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:33,240
Speaker 3: or hobbies.

853
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can get hyperfixed, hyper focused.

854
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 3: On trauma, and it can sometimes mimic symptoms of other things.

855
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,760
Speaker 1: I feel like I should be paying you for the system.

856
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 2: I feel like everything you're saying, I'm just kind of like, yeah, yeah, amazing, Yeah,

857
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 2: I totally understand that.

858
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 3: I mean, it took me so long to when when

859
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,440
Speaker 3: I heard that from my psychiatrist psychologist, and I was like,

860
00:40:56,480 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, like this because for me, I was

861
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 3: the impulsivity was the reason that they gave me the

862
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,439
Speaker 3: BPD thing that it was like, No, what it was

863
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 3: was that there was this trauma response and then I

864
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,439
Speaker 3: would mull on it for so long and I would

865
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 3: have physical flashbacks for it, and my ADHD bought in

866
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 3: my impulsiveness, which then I was like, I.

867
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 4: Need to get out of this now.

868
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 3: Yeah right, And so that's what it was for me.

869
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 3: And obviously that kind of shows up differently for other people.

870
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 1: And that makes so much sense now that you're saying it.

871
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 2: But how freakin hard and long has it been for

872
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 2: you to get to that, My God, where you're like, yeah,

873
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 2: that makes so much sense.

874
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 3: So much sense, and it's been able to, like you said,

875
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 3: have just been able to have so much grace for

876
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 3: yourself and like I remember again my therapist saying, like Jazz,

877
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 3: you did the best with the situation that you were

878
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 3: in at the time. Like I think there's you can

879
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 3: be so angry at yourself, like how you respond and

880
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 3: like why am I not just over this? Or why

881
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 3: am I still dealing with us? Why am I swimming

882
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 3: these panic attacks?

883
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 4: Why am I?

884
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 3: You know?

885
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,360
Speaker 1: But it's like I still get angry at myself to

886
00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: this day, did.

887
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 3: You like when you If you do that again, I

888
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,200
Speaker 3: want you to pull up a photo of nine year

889
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,240
Speaker 3: old Bree. Yeah, look at the girl that was living

890
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 3: in that situation and that went through that She did

891
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 3: the best that she freaking could in that time and

892
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 3: developed those coping mechanisms, those things that you now would

893
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 3: do to even guard yourself. That's just nine year old

894
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 3: Bree who needed to protect yourself. Oh, that's something that

895
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 3: I've had to do. There's actually there's a photo of

896
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 3: younger me in my bag that I carry around as

897
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 3: that reminder because I would get so angry at myself.

898
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 4: Of like why do I do this? Why do I

899
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:34,359
Speaker 4: push people away?

900
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 3: Why am I? And it's like this is stuff that

901
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 3: this kid just was trying to protect herself and that

902
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,440
Speaker 3: for me is has really helped.

903
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 4: Like it doesn't make it.

904
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,720
Speaker 3: Go away, but it gives yourself so much more grace

905
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:50,359
Speaker 3: as to the responses and that it makes sense and

906
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 3: that everything and that everything that you do, like the

907
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 3: response is the thoughts, all of it. It makes sense.

908
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 3: It's just how and why it makes sense. But yeah,

909
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 3: that was a game changer.

910
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I just wanted to say as well,

911
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 2: because it's so interesting, like, and I love that you're

912
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 2: so open about like I've tried three different types of

913
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 2: medication and this one didn't work, and this is how

914
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: this one made me feel. I think it's so important

915
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:23,719
Speaker 2: and I feel like this fits with not just ADHD medication,

916
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 2: but you know, antidepressants or like so many things that

917
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 2: it can be a real journey to find something that.

918
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: Works for you.

919
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:38,920
Speaker 2: And it's so easy to get disheartened when you just

920
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,919
Speaker 2: want something that just works and that's it, and it's

921
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 2: the miracle pill, and but it just isn't like that,

922
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 2: and I feel like I didn't cover that as much

923
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 2: as what I wanted to in my book where I'm

924
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 2: not on medication right now, But that doesn't mean I

925
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 2: don't believe it's the best thing for certain people. But

926
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 2: I just think it's such a real journey and you

927
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 2: just need to be as focused as you can be

928
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 2: that if something's not working for you, then you can

929
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 2: try something else. Like we're lucky enough to live in

930
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 2: a country where we're able to do that, and especially

931
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: with like we're talking about before this started, like the

932
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 2: new laws that are coming in where the government is

933
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:22,040
Speaker 2: going to pay for ADHD medications and like that's amazing and.

934
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that also getting rid of the special authority,

935
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 3: the renewal process.

936
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:28,240
Speaker 4: It's huge because that's.

937
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: And it's something you were so vocal about.

938
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:32,040
Speaker 3: Yes, and also because I didn't know about it, and

939
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,359
Speaker 3: I remember, I think it was one of the first

940
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 3: things I told you, because it took me off guard

941
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 3: when it happened that I went to go pick up.

942
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 4: My script and they were like, sorry, you're panicked.

943
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 3: You literally can't get it, Like you need to go

944
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 3: get it renewed again, and I was like, what do

945
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 3: you mean and they're like, this is the process every

946
00:44:44,719 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 3: two years and the reason.

947
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: Depend on this medication. You can't just do that to people.

948
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 3: Why are we having to prove over two years that

949
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:53,040
Speaker 3: we still have ADHD yes, still.

950
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 4: Have this lifelong thing. No one else is doing that.

951
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,879
Speaker 2: It's not a for right now diagnose, you know. It's

952
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 2: not like oh you got God, but here's a pill

953
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:01,839
Speaker 2: gets rid of it.

954
00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 4: It's like four five hundred dollars for a psychiatrist console.

955
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,319
Speaker 3: And there was no way that I could get into

956
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 3: either for this. But like my GP and I did

957
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 3: this video and about watching it, yeah, which at the

958
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 3: time I was like, oh, and I know, like some

959
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 3: people will be like, oh there's always so much drama

960
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:17,480
Speaker 3: going on.

961
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 4: It's because I share the stuff that goes on.

962
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 1: It's because you care and you're the voice for so

963
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:23,840
Speaker 1: many like you know.

964
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 3: But in that moment, I remember, I was panic. I

965
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 3: just pulled my phone out and was like screw it.

966
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 3: But yeah, so they finally have done this now where

967
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 3: you don't have to.

968
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 4: Get that special authority to get it.

969
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,280
Speaker 3: But I do think what you're saying is so important

970
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 3: around like what even when I did my story about

971
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 3: changing meds, like one thing is going.

972
00:45:40,040 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 4: To work for me, that's not going to work for

973
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 4: other people.

974
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,280
Speaker 3: And exactly, not even just with meds, with like talk therapy,

975
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 3: I've done, like I've done exposure therapy and.

976
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 1: That could work for you, but not for someone else exactly.

977
00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 3: And now I'm doing EMD mark because I definitely prefer

978
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:53,920
Speaker 3: they're over exposure therapy.

979
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,320
Speaker 4: And yeah, you know, there's so many different things.

980
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 3: And I think when you do give one thing and

981
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 3: go and if it doesn't work, you can and get disheartened,

982
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 3: and it.

983
00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 1: Can be really disheartening.

984
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 2: Like and throughout the years, I've been on an up

985
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 2: and down process and like riding the roller coaster, you know,

986
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:14,279
Speaker 2: where I'll be like, oh, that didn't work, and I'll

987
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 2: put it away for a bit, and then I'll try

988
00:46:16,239 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 2: something else, and then I'll be like, that didn't work.

989
00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 3: I actually remember, and we can cut out if you

990
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,800
Speaker 3: don't want to talk about it, but I remember after

991
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,239
Speaker 3: you had seen a psychologist or a professional that you

992
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 3: were like, this isn't going to work, and then you

993
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 3: just didn't see anyone because you were so afraid of

994
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,959
Speaker 3: something had happened, and which we don't have to go into.

995
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,360
Speaker 2: But it's in the book, is it. Yeah, it's not

996
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 2: it is, Yeah, it's in the book. Yeah, it'd be

997
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 2: hard for you because you'd be like, did.

998
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 1: She tell me that?

999
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 3: I know that's what I'm trying to because I feel

1000
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 3: like we were walking your dogs across again. For some reason,

1001
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,000
Speaker 3: I'm such a visual we're walking your dogs across a field.

1002
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 3: We were talking about psychologists and then trying to find

1003
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:54,799
Speaker 3: and being like, Okay, just because this one person didn't work,

1004
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 3: doesn't mean exactly one else won't work exactly.

1005
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:01,319
Speaker 2: And I truly believe that because I read a thing

1006
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 2: where someone mentioned that part of the book where I

1007
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:08,600
Speaker 2: talk about how, you know, I've tried a lot over

1008
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 2: the years, and I've never felt anything that's truly clicked yet.

1009
00:47:11,719 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 2: But I truly believe it's just a process and a

1010
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 2: journey where you have to find the right person to

1011
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:21,360
Speaker 2: talk to or the right medication. Like there is stuff

1012
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 2: out there that can help everyone. But I just want

1013
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 2: to make people like hear me when I say that,

1014
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 2: I truly believe that even though I may have not

1015
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 2: found the right things right for me, doesn't mean I've

1016
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 2: stopped trying like I will continue to, like, you know,

1017
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,160
Speaker 2: figure myself out and try this or do that.

1018
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:41,000
Speaker 1: You know, that's.

1019
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,919
Speaker 2: The whole process of life, right is figuring it out.

1020
00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:48,240
Speaker 1: That's all. That's what we're all trying to do. Yeah, yeah,

1021
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: but yeah, you're right that Yeah.

1022
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 2: So he pretty much caused a panic attack in his

1023
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 2: in what a session I went to. And it was

1024
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:58,759
Speaker 2: from that day where I was just kind of like,

1025
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 2: I'm never going to go back to talk to anyone

1026
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 2: ever again because it was so traumatic for me, which

1027
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 2: thank god I had you because you talked me around

1028
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 2: and was like wow. And so I've since moved on

1029
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 2: from there. I'm like, yeah, of course I want to

1030
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 2: go talk to someone, you know, because it helps.

1031
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:13,799
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1032
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 3: It also can be a proactive thing rather than reactive

1033
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:18,800
Speaker 3: as well, which as why I'm such a big advocate

1034
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 3: for therapy and like talking to someone. And obviously there's

1035
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 3: heaps of things around accessibility to that and stuff as well,

1036
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:27,319
Speaker 3: which we one hundred percent acknowledge. But if you do

1037
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,200
Speaker 3: have the ability to, it's so important to.

1038
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: When is that going to change?

1039
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, bloody change.

1040
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:35,480
Speaker 1: Lucky we've got people like you fighting.

1041
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,920
Speaker 3: I also think it's important there's so many people that

1042
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 3: are fighting for it, and I think that well often

1043
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:43,839
Speaker 3: gets lost in the media narrative, especially here in an

1044
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 3: altered or in New Zealand, and especially you know around

1045
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:46,279
Speaker 3: the world as well.

1046
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 4: But here we all we hear about constantly is this

1047
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:50,320
Speaker 4: broken system.

1048
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,279
Speaker 3: And we can acknowledge, yes, the system is broken, but

1049
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 3: please don't be discouraged at the thousands upon thousands upon

1050
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 3: thousands of people that are on the front line that

1051
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,799
Speaker 3: are doing everything they can to change that care. It's

1052
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 3: not one person trying to save it. It's not like

1053
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 3: that's not the case. There are so many people.

1054
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:09,760
Speaker 1: And your voices are getting louder, which is amazing.

1055
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 4: Oh man.

1056
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 3: But I'm just like all the counselors and you know,

1057
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 3: the nerve everyone who's really doing everything that they can.

1058
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,840
Speaker 4: Teachers like taking the brunt of a lot of this

1059
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 4: as well.

1060
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, people care, and I think that the message of

1061
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 3: you know, about how how broken the system is a

1062
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:27,440
Speaker 3: lot of the time you can it causes so much

1063
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 3: hopelessness that people don't reach out. But I just want

1064
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 3: people to know that, you know, people do really care

1065
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 3: in this so many people.

1066
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: There's so many people that care.

1067
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 2: They like so many, and I feel like it's growing,

1068
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 2: like you know, and it's it is getting better.

1069
00:49:39,840 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 1: It's just a slow process.

1070
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1071
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 3: I ask this question to everyone that comes on this podcast,

1072
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,319
Speaker 3: and I want to ask it to you as well.

1073
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:48,719
Speaker 4: You are the last interview for.

1074
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 3: The season, which I am so frickin honored to be

1075
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,440
Speaker 3: able to have you on. And like I said, I

1076
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 3: have wanted to have you on for a while, I

1077
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,560
Speaker 3: just never wanted to push you to talk publicly about

1078
00:50:00,560 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 3: stuff that at that point you weren't talking publicly about it,

1079
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 3: and then.

1080
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:03,520
Speaker 1: You just went.

1081
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:06,919
Speaker 4: It is more than a slow fie.

1082
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 1: You should just put it all out it.

1083
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 3: You have gone through, literally Helen back in your life.

1084
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 3: There's been so much that has happened, and you can

1085
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 3: everyone else can read all about the rest of that

1086
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 3: in your book. Unapologetically me with the uncrossed out. Please

1087
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:28,640
Speaker 3: go get this book. It's literally it's I just it's phenomenal.

1088
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 3: I love it, and it's I mean, I don't want

1089
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 3: to say I love it, but I love the way

1090
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 3: that you've managed to articulate the strength that has shown through.

1091
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:36,399
Speaker 4: All of that.

1092
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,759
Speaker 3: Taking all of that in consideration, everything you've written about

1093
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 3: in this book, everything that you've been through. What does

1094
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 3: the word hope mean to you?

1095
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 2: Wow, that's such a good question. I think what does

1096
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 2: the word hope mean for me?

1097
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 1: I think.

1098
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:02,840
Speaker 2: Hope is what everything is centered around. You know, Hope

1099
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:06,240
Speaker 2: for me is the thing that makes me keep going.

1100
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 2: It's the thing that gets me up in the morning,

1101
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 2: that drives, that drives my passion for things. That, yeah,

1102
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 2: makes everything makes sense because without that, you know, I

1103
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 2: feel like nothing else matters.

1104
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,720
Speaker 1: Hope is the driver.

1105
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 4: You know that.

1106
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:33,760
Speaker 2: Things can always get better, you can always help other people,

1107
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 2: you can always make your dreams come true.

1108
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:41,040
Speaker 1: That's what hope is. It's at the center of everything

1109
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 1: I love.

1110
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 4: That's that's so good.

1111
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 3: And I also think, like just looking at you and

1112
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,080
Speaker 3: knowing everything that you've been through and the.

1113
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:52,120
Speaker 4: Fact that you've shared the story, you are.

1114
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,560
Speaker 3: The definition of hope as well, that people can read

1115
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 3: this and they can see, actually, there's hope for me,

1116
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 3: Like there's things I've gone through these you know, whatever

1117
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 3: it may be, the situations may be different, but the

1118
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 3: feelings can be the same. And Yeah, you are hope

1119
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 3: as well. And I know that there are going to

1120
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 3: be so many people that have already been impacted by

1121
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 3: your book and your story and there's going to be

1122
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,600
Speaker 3: so many more to come. How can people that are

1123
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 3: listening to this and maybe if especially if you're not

1124
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:19,839
Speaker 3: from New Zealand who might not know you?

1125
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 4: Yeah? How can they? I don't want to say find.

1126
00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:24,840
Speaker 3: You because that's talkers done with that, that's becoming illegal

1127
00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 3: in New Zealand.

1128
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 4: How can they follow you?

1129
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:27,399
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1130
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 2: They can follow me on socials at Bree Thomas l

1131
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 2: with no age.

1132
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,360
Speaker 3: You get some great hilarious content. Oh my goodness.

1133
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 2: I do love to post some funny stuff with my mum.

1134
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:41,240
Speaker 2: That's so so funny.

1135
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 3: I love Mama and I but also even hearing this

1136
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 3: story as well, I'm like, we must protect Mama die

1137
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:48,680
Speaker 3: at all costs, at all.

1138
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 2: She is just my favorite human in the whole world. Yeah,

1139
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 2: but yeah, follow me on socials you can. I've recorded

1140
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,879
Speaker 2: an audio book if you're not into reading, like I

1141
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:02,440
Speaker 2: can't read that well because my concentration just goes. So

1142
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:05,759
Speaker 2: there's an audiobook. It's on Kindle and yeah, you can

1143
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 2: order it online if you're overseas as well. So I

1144
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:12,240
Speaker 2: just want to say I'm so proud of you, Jazz,

1145
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:16,080
Speaker 2: the person you are and for doing this podcast and

1146
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 2: just everything you do to help other people for me,

1147
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 2: Like I want to add on to my answer, you

1148
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 2: are hope for so many people you know, and I

1149
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 2: don't think you really stop to think about that all

1150
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,840
Speaker 2: too often because you're so busy and you're just always

1151
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 2: on the go and thinking about others.

1152
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 1: But you are hope. And I just love you so much,

1153
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 1: and thank you for your time.

1154
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 4: I love you. And now we're going to stop before

1155
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:42,439
Speaker 4: I start crying again.

1156
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 2: I'm a going to hug, so came in a hug

1157
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 2: for ten minutes.

1158
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 3: Well that you have it, guys, thank you so much

1159
00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 3: for staying and for listening to this episode. And like

1160
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 3: I've said at the beginning, and I always say, if

1161
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,959
Speaker 3: anything in this episode that's been talked about has brought

1162
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:01,160
Speaker 3: anything up for you feel like you need to talk

1163
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 3: to someone, then please remember and know that the bravest

1164
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:06,960
Speaker 3: thing that you can do right now is to talk

1165
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 3: to someone, is to ask for help, whether that's from

1166
00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,200
Speaker 3: a friend, a family member, or if you don't know

1167
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,480
Speaker 3: who to talk to, then if you live in Altaiola

1168
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 3: here you can call or text one seven three seven

1169
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 3: at any time to talk to a trained counselor, or

1170
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 3: if you live overseas. Go to dub dubdub dot the

1171
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,960
Speaker 3: Voices of Hope dot org for a list of international helplines.

1172
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:29,560
Speaker 3: Remember that no matter what it is that you're facing,

1173
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 3: no matter what it is that you're going through, that

1174
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 3: in all things, hope is real and change as possible.