WEBVTT - EP 25 - Jordyn With A Why 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:02.840 It's the Flavor podcast network. 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:07.240 Island Roots or Clan Ways. This one's for the Brown 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:10.200 brothers and sisters who want to be one with themselves, 0:00:10.360 --> 0:00:13.400 their culture, their identity, their roots. 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:20.600 This is Island Roots Auckland Ways. Oh, what to do? 0:00:20.640 --> 0:00:21.040 What to do? 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:21.439 What to do? 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:24.600 Welcome back to Island Roots or Cleaned Ways. 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.880 Or cland Way on the show. 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:30.520 Now, this is actually a preview of what's happening later 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:32.959 on in the episode. Our rapid fire this week is 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:39.240 a doom don't don't doom proportions. Yes and listen is 0:00:39.280 --> 0:00:42.639 the ring master. Keep listening, and we. 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:44.960 Have about our favorite sound on desserts, but also a 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:46.680 call forward to something else we're talking about in the 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:50.080 episode being love Girls. Would you consist yourself a lovely girl? 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:50.560 Very enough? 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:52.319 I don't know. 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:56.120 Would you say, to be honest, actually I probably wouldn't, 0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:57.920 not in the way that I'm a lovely girl. 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:00.560 Yeah, I feel like you. 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:04.639 How do I say this? I fall hard and fast? 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:07.200 You emotions are kind of the last thing on the 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:10.800 on the agenda looks for it. Would you say whereas 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:14.399 I am Immediately I'll look at someone and just I'm 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:14.880 planning our. 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:18.839 Whole future together, right, yeah, I think a bit of time. 0:01:19.080 --> 0:01:20.640 Yeah, and I love that fear. 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:22.720 Just like music, like you know what music? 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:25.120 Oh yeah, how you need to take two years to 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:26.600 learn the lyrics to a single song? 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:28.600 Yeah, that's a real problem. 0:01:29.080 --> 0:01:30.679 But do you know whose music I know all the 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:35.080 lyrics to? Jordan's so excited to have Jordan with a 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:40.440 Wii on the podcast today. I am feeling a little 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:42.720 bit nervous because this is one of my most favorite 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:46.360 singer songwriters ever in the studio with us. Please give 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:50.360 it up for Marty Someone, singer songwriter, intergenerational chain breaker 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:52.760 and real reclaimer. Jordan with the. 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:03.880 Sorry, I'm alive and wow, I've been working so hard, 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:07.240 but no, it's so cool to be here today chatting 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:09.360 with with some cool people that I've been following for 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:11.560 a while. You guys, you are on my FYP like 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:15.280 no one, no one else. I'm your target audience. 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:17.480 Just for you. 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:21.200 Yeah, it's actually yeah, she's our target listener when you 0:02:21.280 --> 0:02:22.639 go into these business meetings. 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:25.920 It's Jordan's so so she is like a bad bitch. 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:30.280 And it's working. I'm seeing everything that's. 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:33.600 Cool, Jordan. Every episode we share what we love about home, 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.480 So whatever home is to you wherever it feels like 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.600 it doesn't have to be where you live. What is 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:40.920 home and what do you love about it? We'll start 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:43.680 off first, and this week what I love about home 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:48.399 is my nana's aged care home. So she recently moved 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:53.440 into aged care and it's been a weird experience, I 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:58.919 will say, new for me, and I don't know, I 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:04.240 don't want to get too deep, but yeah, it's it's 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:06.160 just nice going to visit her. 0:03:06.520 --> 0:03:07.080 Yeah, nice. 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:11.680 And although it's a very sad situation and what Elna 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.960 she has come down with, like that is all very sad. 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:20.800 It's like it's got flowers and like photos of family everywhere, 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:24.040 and there's always conversation going in the hallways and these 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:26.119 people coming in and out of the rooms, so it's 0:03:27.520 --> 0:03:31.920 bustling with activity given the circumstances. Yeah, that's what I 0:03:31.960 --> 0:03:32.520 love about home. 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:33.920 This week, you posted. 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:36.280 This really nice video of all your family together with 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:39.480 your nana and it's just your papa was like I've 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:43.200 never oh not, I've never seen him so happiness nor no, 0:03:43.440 --> 0:03:48.360 but just seeing him like laugh despite the situation, and 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:50.240 like your nana had the most beautiful smile and her 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.200 face like that made me so happy, beautiful. 0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:53.600 Yeah, we love. 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:57.240 As we do love our Nana's period. 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:00.640 What I love about Home this week is I think 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:05.600 the Golden Alies, who are like a band someone so good. 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:08.480 I've been listening to so much of their music recently 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:10.440 and it is some more language if when recording this, 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:15.240 but there's just something about that old style of someone music, 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:18.200 and especially when you know it's been recorded live. Yes, 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:21.320 something about it is just it's just gonna fill me 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:22.200 with joy every time. 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:23.400 I just love it. 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:25.520 So the Golden Lilies is what I love about Home. 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:29.560 Oh, those are beautiful answers. I think what I love 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:33.440 about Home is the laughs, Like we are always laughing 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:34.480 for mosting each other. 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:37.760 But yeah, I think that's something that. 0:04:37.720 --> 0:04:41.040 I'm really really grateful for with the family that I 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:42.919 have grown up and on both sides days like my 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:45.800 mom's side, my dad's side, or my cousins, my just 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:49.040 I think that's just a very strong gene in our 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:52.159 family is like to find the humor in everything. So 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:55.279 whether life is really awful at the time or whether 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:58.719 it's incredible, you can always count on the family to 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:00.719 bring some laugh to the table. 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:05.720 I love that there's something about like a Pacific laugh. 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:07.720 It is so really good, truly. 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:10.080 I was catching up with a couple of mates and Wellington, 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:12.000 I didn't and seem to catch up with him, but 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:13.440 I just saw them on the side of the street 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:15.720 and we hadn't seen each other in maybe a couple 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:18.520 of years. And I was there with my little sister, 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:20.760 and after we finished saying bye to each other, my 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.720 little sister was like, you know those bilongies across the 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:26.960 road we're looking at It scary the amount of. 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:30.120 Times me and my girls have been told off laughing 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:31.440 too loud, talking too loud. 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:33.200 I'm like, you wish you had something. 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:39.680 To laugh about, make me angry. 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:44.760 I love it so much. Well, Jordan, you at Jordan 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.640 with a why? But what is that why? Please tell 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:48.400 us about the why? 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:55.560 What is the why? 0:05:51.560 --> 0:06:00.480 It's yeah, Well my why is definitely firstly my sons. 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:01.400 I've got two sons. 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:03.120 I've got a seven year old and a two year old, 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:07.039 and I think since becoming a mother, like I just 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:09.480 have a different drive to be. 0:06:11.040 --> 0:06:13.680 Unapologetically who I am. And I don't mean like in 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:15.720 a real individualistic way. 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.840 I just mean like as a mildy, as a someone 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.839 woman who was born and raised in South Auckland, Like 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:24.280 I just want to be that amplified because there's so 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:28.039 many of us, Yeah, and so that they can have 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:30.600 a certain confidence as they're growing up. 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:32.800 And I think also my wife is I'm a lover 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:33.440 girl at heart. 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:37.000 I love love and I love justice, so like love 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.919 and justice are my That's kind of like what I 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.120 try and build my world around. 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:42.919 I love that. 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:44.640 Yeah, that's so beautiful. 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:48.320 I'm also a love girl at heart. I love love, love. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:50.839 Love in all forms in any ways. 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:55.960 Fast around here. 0:06:56.440 --> 0:07:02.160 Yes that was about But there's just something about like 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:04.839 when you live your life. I think, especially as like 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:08.799 a Pasifico woman, an indigenous woman living a life centered 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:13.080 around love is a little bit political and a little 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:16.320 bit like weird in a world where we often have 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:19.240 to like really fight for our sense of place, to 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:22.440 actively work against that and just be like a joyful, baddie, 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:27.520 happy love a girl, Like there's something really like political 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:31.120 and like resistant about that that I think is like 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:33.840 you subconsciously ended up being like quite political, and like 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.120 that sense of justice comes through when you. 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:39.200 Are just fight fighting for love, fighting for love. 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:41.600 We lover is not fighters. All we love is and fighters. 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:46.200 We're everything all one too. 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:50.240 How has motherhood been for you when you had your 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.200 first How is that experience. 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:55.400 It's been? 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:55.880 Like? 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:58.760 So, I was twenty four when I had my first born, 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:02.120 which seems like a really good appropriate age advocate, But 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.560 why did I feel like I was fourteen? I still 0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:11.680 feel like a young teenage mom. Let me have children 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:15.880 and like be in charge of humans raising them. 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:17.520 It was definitely. 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:21.960 Beautiful, and in lots of ways, I'm grateful that that 0:08:22.080 --> 0:08:23.480 was the age. And then in other ways, I like 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:26.720 wish I was younger to have had more energy to 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:31.080 be growing with my with my kids, But it definitely 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:38.560 helped to solidify for me how I will and won't 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:41.240 bring up my sons like I think just a lot 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.640 of the questions that I had myself around identity and 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:45.680 like am I good enough? 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:46.080 A might not? 0:08:46.160 --> 0:08:50.959 All of those questions I definitely knew. I don't want 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:54.040 my sons to to have those kind of thoughts or 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:57.280 to really battle with identity questions. So as much as 0:08:57.320 --> 0:09:00.000 I can input and inform them about who they are. 0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:00.240 Are. 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.600 Yeah, I feel like having kids really made me settle 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:06.280 into that. I don't think you have to have kids 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.000 to settle into that, but for me and my own story. 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.920 I don't think I could have landed where I am 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:14.800 now without without Yeah, being a. 0:09:14.800 --> 0:09:19.800 Mom, they do say that, well not in all cases, 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:22.880 but before you're a parent, you kind of just stumble 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:26.400 about life and you do as you please. But once 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:30.240 you bring children into the world, you have ambition and 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:32.600 you have something that you're fighting for. Would you say 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:33.400 that's the case for you? 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:36.800 Yeah, that was my experience. I you know, the ambitions 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.080 that I had before all of a sudden had a timeline. 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:39.640 Yeah. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:43.200 It was like my my Tani and I knew that 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:46.560 we wanted our kids to be raised speaking todayl Mali, 0:09:46.640 --> 0:09:49.600 especially if they're being raised here in Alta, and so. 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:51.640 That was always like, yeah, that'll be great. One day, 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:52.120 we'll do that. 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:54.520 Once I had my baby, we were like whoa, Like 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.520 we actually need to learn now because now they're going 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:00.280 to be growing. My son's going to be too years 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:02.600 old soon and we still don't know how to speak. 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:05.600 And so that it really put a timeline on some 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:08.800 of these ambitions that we're always carried but got to 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:10.080 action them. 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:14.120 Did you and know how to call it? 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:16.040 Not at all? 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:16.880 Not at all. 0:10:17.120 --> 0:10:20.960 No, we both didn't grow up very immersed in our 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:25.120 Maldi tongue or in towel Mali at all. Really, I 0:10:25.160 --> 0:10:27.480 was a lot closer to my son one side, grew 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.520 up in South Auckland, a lot closer with like my 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:32.920 mum's side of the family and my upbringing, so I 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:35.560 was always very exposed to that side, but not really 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:39.120 to my Maldi side. So we got to learn that together. 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:43.240 Oh that's so beautiful. And to learn together with your 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:44.120 comedy key as. 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:45.760 Well, exactly exactly. 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:48.200 So it's been a really cool experience. And then like 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:52.160 my siblings have been learning so wid learning together. 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.880 That's what it's all about. Growing up in South Auckland, 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:57.080 south Side Ade. 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:00.240 So our family home is in Autara, that's all is 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:01.520 going to be home the brave. 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:02.040 Yeah. 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:04.959 And then like I've lived everywhere like mangoted Papa Toy 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:08.320 Toy really went to Papa Too North Primary School, Cagley 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:11.000 Intermediate and then shot us over the Central or hung 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.480 High School. I think all the South Aukland parents had 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:17.120 the same idea. They were like, we're going to send our. 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:18.840 Kids to a good school. 0:11:21.160 --> 0:11:25.200 It was basically a South Side Anyway Browns, you know. 0:11:25.480 --> 0:11:27.080 But it was Yeah, it was a cool experience. 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.440 You, of course, are proud to be Maudi and someone. 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.200 What are your favorite things about your upbringing and the 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:33.920 South Side. 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:39.400 I love South Auckland like I love I love the 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:44.040 food and the food prices. I think there are just 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:49.559 certain I don't know, it's like, you know, okay, this 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:53.560 sounds bad, but like the smell of burning rubbish. There's 0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:57.480 like certain sins that really brings take you back, seeing 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.679 like the banana. 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:01.640 Trees, or like harrow leaves and people's. 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:07.600 Gardens, seeing bright colored houses, the dairies, like you see 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.120 people on this with their sirens and like outside whipping 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.439 their ear, love lovers, like there are so many beautiful 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.440 cultural I think that is so South Aukland. That's almost 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.040 like you do see little bits of that in the 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:22.480 islands back in some wore, but it's like South Auckland fight, 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:26.520 you know, like it's such a culture. I think in 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:31.480 South Aukland that I'm so proud to have been raised in. Yeah, 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:33.800 and I think to like, having lived a lot of 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.280 my adult life now more Central. Every time I go back, 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.120 it's just there's nothing like home. There's nothing like those 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.640 sounds or smells or people or yeah. 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:44.840 Yeah, I lived in Ellieslie for a while, and I 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:46.319 think because I grew up in Money, they were like 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:50.960 same home, same street, everything, my whole life. Those like 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:54.360 motifs of like South Aakland life were like normal to me. 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:56.320 So I kind of almost took it for granted a 0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:59.280 little bit, obviously, always so proud to be from South Oakland, 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:01.480 so proud to be from to six seven all day. 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:05.640 But I didn't realize until I left to go to Elsie, 0:13:05.640 --> 0:13:07.719 which is quite central and the areas of him was 0:13:07.800 --> 0:13:10.959 quite white, and then realizing like, oh my god, those 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:13.600 are the things that have made me me without even 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.439 realizing it. And I felt like I grew up really 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.240 disconnected to my culture, when actually I don't think I did. Yeah, 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:22.480 I was actually really blessed to see my culture every day. 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.960 Maybe I just didn't recognize it at the time. So 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.079 when I did eventually move back to Money deal it it. 0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:27.840 Was just like. 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:32.760 It was like an ex Yeah, everything is right again. 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:36.120 The fences are not so high, like there's just something 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:39.040 very communal. Guys, we have a really good tolerance for noise. 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.960 I'll tell you what. Living Central Auckland, these neighbors, I 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:44.320 could sneeze and it's too loud. 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.439 It is really ridiculous. 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.439 I'm trying so hard. My family show it so hard 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:52.679 to be like really quiet, and still we get noise complaints. 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:54.640 I'm like, guys, you clearly did not grow up. And 0:13:58.720 --> 0:13:59.880 on a Friday it doesn't stop. 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:00.559 Monday. 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:06.800 Just the other night, I me and my two flatties, 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.040 each of us in our rooms we are blasting our 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.760 own music. So in one room there was like Kendrick 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:14.400 Klemar and then the other room was the Nolan sisters, 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:16.680 and then the other room was Debrah Cox and it's 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:21.320 just like three loud ass the noise, different songs. 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:24.000 I love that the island mixes, you know that you're 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.280 blasting at the flea markets. There's just so many cool 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:31.040 things about South Auckland. I love it so much. Got me, 0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:35.600 you know what I mean, so familiar, it's not one word, 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:37.360 and you know, yeah, you know, you know where you 0:14:37.400 --> 0:14:40.000 are and then you look up. 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:43.720 You're kind of. 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:46.080 Already spoken to this. But growing up, did you always 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:49.400 feel like you valued both sides of your ancestry? I 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:52.240 mean you said that you let you linked more into 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.240 your palm one ness growing up? Was that intentional or 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.440 did it just happen that way. 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:01.680 Yeah, yeah, I you know, it was definitely a journey 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:07.640 me learning how to love my Maldy self. And I think, 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:11.040 honestly that was just because I was raising a time 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.280 where what I was seeing on TV. I think when 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:16.800 you're not connected to your Maldi side, you don't have 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:20.120 your family to inform you about what being Maldi means, 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.480 then you kind of get your reference points from TV 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:27.240 or from the news, and unfortunately, what I was seeing 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:30.760 was not great things, and so I always felt like 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:34.040 being Maldy was like the butt of the joke, you know, 0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:36.760 And I really did struggle to learn how to love 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:40.520 that side of myself, and I probably didn't start that until, 0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:45.160 to be honest, like the end of high school. I 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.120 was always really proud to be someone, but it was 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:50.520 really hard for me to accept and love being Maldi. 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:54.120 Now I adore that part of me, and like, what's 0:15:54.160 --> 0:15:56.520 really caused my sons they just think being Maldy is 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.240 the coolest thing. They look at their dad who has 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:01.040 a mataora, and to them that it's like the epitome 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:05.160 of handsomeness. That's what they want. And it's so healing 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:07.280 because as a child I could never see the beauty 0:16:07.280 --> 0:16:09.840 in that and now to see my own kids thinking 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:12.800 that that is the epitome of beauty is very healing. 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:14.840 I think for little girl Jordan, who had had a 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:15.880 hard time with. 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:18.520 That, Gosh, that's so special. Motherhood was almost like healing 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:19.400 your in a child. 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.760 Yeah, a little bit. Motherhood is teaching me how unregulated 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:23.000 I am. 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:29.880 As I feel like also, Pacific communities are still really 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:33.160 bad at Oh, we might have to cut this outher episode, 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:37.200 but it's still really bad allies to Mardy communities. And 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:40.040 often I think because I can think of like my 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:45.160 dad's generation came to New Zealand and we're like, oh, well, 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.680 we see that being Maldi is like bad, so we 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.240 shouldn't be like them, and in fact we should like 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:51.640 treat Maldi like shit. 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:51.800 You know. 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:54.040 And I feel like, at least for a lot of 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:56.640 my friends who have that shared fuck papa through the 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:00.480 like the Islands and also here in out Theodore, it's 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:04.960 a process of like unlearning that racism as well, because 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:09.119 oftentimes they've just been subjected to these really false narratives, 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.480 often from both sides of the fucker Papa that has 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:13.760 really harmed them in their cultural journey. 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.560 Yeah for sure, Yeah, I think so too, and it's 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:20.120 all like we're all in the rat race, yeah, and 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:22.600 everyone's just hustling trying to get their food. And if 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:26.160 someone else, you know, if the big boss are saying, 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.200 oh that's your enemy, of course you want to look 0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:29.960 across and you're going to do whatever you can tell 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:32.320 each other to get ahead. So I think it's been 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:36.560 unlearning that we actually we're actually on the same team exactly, 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:39.480 you know, and we that our freedom is all of 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.920 our freedom, freedom for Maldi, and alter's actually freedom for everyone. 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:46.560 In one hundred one a big big learning for me 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:48.800 in the past year. I work in like a bilingual 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:52.159 community hub, and so speaking to still Maudi as normal, 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:55.679 we live in TiO Mahdi. That is the world we 0:17:55.720 --> 0:17:57.840 live in when we come to ma He And for me, 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:03.119 learning that TiO Maudi accept everyone, the whole person, your 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:07.000 whole fucking papa everything has been really special because it's 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:10.479 I showed me that Pakia not that they're at odds, 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:12.800 but has often made me feel like I need to 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.840 strip parts of myself in order to be okay in 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:19.640 different rooms. So to be within our Maudi is actually 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:21.240 a really positive thing. I think for a lot of 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:26.200 Pacific communities and we need to embrace that more because I've. 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:27.159 Never felt so whole. 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:30.560 I never felt so like accepted as a whole human 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.040 being before in a way that I just haven't in 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:38.439 other rooms or in taur Pakia. Yeah beautiful, absolutely my tangent. 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:39.120 That's so good. 0:18:39.240 --> 0:18:42.879 Nah. Yeah. I can also testify to that because like 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:47.000 being in the space and with the reach that we 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.959 have and the platform that we own, it's important for 0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:52.919 me to celebrate the Mahdi, and with that, I'm able 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:56.119 to celebrate every other aspect of myself as well. Like 0:18:56.160 --> 0:19:01.520 it has made celebrating myself so much easier, like tapping 0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:05.320 into I don't know, things as simple as speaking on 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:10.639 ear like is helpful for every community hearing themselves. 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:12.000 Yeah, yeah, totally. 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:14.760 Yeah, it's just making more room, may just going. It's 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:18.960 I guess, breaking down the false narrative that there's only 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:21.640 enough room for you know, a certain amount of languages, 0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:25.240 like nah, it's not, there's an infinite amount of spaces. Yeah. 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:27.960 Yeah, And I guess that's kind of a theme on 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:29.840 your song Haylove, which I was telling you be whore 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:32.119 we started recording, is like one of the most favorite 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:34.479 songs of all time, and you're just speaking about how 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:36.199 I'm regulated, how that song regulates me. 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:37.040 Girl, I love it. 0:19:37.640 --> 0:19:40.280 I'm like, well, I can breathe, That's crazy. I can 0:19:40.280 --> 0:19:41.200 breathe and I can cry. 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:42.159 Well, I love that for me. 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:45.040 But what kind of things are you thinking when you're 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:47.600 writing I guess songs like Haylove, but other songs that 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:52.240 you've put out about real reclamation and like loving your 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:52.879 whole self? 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:56.679 Yeah, I think that they really do come from that experience, 0:19:56.800 --> 0:20:01.600 you know, reclaiming and facing all of those identity questions 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:07.320 that you know, not having a familiarity with who you are, 0:20:07.480 --> 0:20:10.600