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Speaker 1: Yeah, fan of the Hurdarky Bigture podcast.

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Speaker 2: To make sure you check.

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Speaker 3: Out more from Jay, Smike and Kezy on their Instagram

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Speaker 3: at Hadarky Big Show.

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Speaker 1: Fortune into Them four to seven every weekday on Radio Hadarky.

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Speaker 4: Thanks mate, Thanks mate, Thanks mate, Thanks guys.

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Speaker 2: You know what what does? Give it a hoon that

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Speaker 2: rings a distant belt.

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Speaker 4: Well, that's what our whole station is. Give us a home,

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Speaker 4: give us a ho Yeah. Do you think it was

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Speaker 4: a new promo?

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Speaker 2: I assumed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're doing two live shows next week.

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Speaker 2: You could.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was three actually.

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Speaker 3: Three ones from a food called at Sylvia Park. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: good ones from a wild bean.

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Speaker 1: Cool And.

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Speaker 3: To be honest, have a hoon is more the way

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Speaker 3: I've used it in the past.

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Speaker 2: Give it, give it, you know you.

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Speaker 4: Have I always sort sort of give it a whon

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Speaker 4: was sort of love making related.

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Speaker 3: Do you have a hon on?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I have a hon on?

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Speaker 4: It your messes eyes to the frontsy bloody hell. It

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Speaker 4: was a full scam.

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Speaker 1: Then, that was a full keasy doe eyed scam.

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Speaker 2: Was giving because Jason, we were giving up what I

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Speaker 2: like to call the hoidy.

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Speaker 3: J Yeah, thank you, Mogi, Come on, Jason, was originally

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Speaker 3: this morning, got a text say he wasn't going to

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Speaker 3: be here today had a medical issue. Boy, I'm glad

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Speaker 3: you're backed, Jason.

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Speaker 2: Can you talk us through it because I don't know?

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, it actually happened yesterday, but.

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Speaker 3: You didn't want to go on about it.

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Speaker 4: And I had quite a painful arm pet, in fact,

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Speaker 4: a very painful arm pet. That's why I was so

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Speaker 4: sort of grumpy and short temper yesterday happier and yes

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Speaker 4: and then when I woke up this morning, she was

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Speaker 4: a full blown golf ball.

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Speaker 1: Bigger than a golf ball. Actually, I'd say, ah, as.

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Speaker 2: Big as a house cricket ball.

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Speaker 1: If I if I showed it to you fellers under

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Speaker 1: my armpit here, you.

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Speaker 3: Can we see it? Please?

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Speaker 1: No way I'm showing you.

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Speaker 2: Can we please see your No way I'm showing on

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Speaker 2: social no way.

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Speaker 3: Can we get the pants man in here to take

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Speaker 3: a photo of it?

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Speaker 4: And in fact, and and a big rash down my arm,

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Speaker 4: and I was in a fair amount of pain, and

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Speaker 4: I went, I got to get this scene.

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Speaker 2: Too, because that's good for you, because because I had

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Speaker 2: I think I had.

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Speaker 1: A bit of an infection on my shoulder from a

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Speaker 1: scratch that.

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Speaker 4: Itchy, and I think it spread around and went under

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Speaker 4: the armpit there, and so.

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Speaker 1: It was quite funny. But I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: can say this order. My wife works at a medical

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Speaker 1: center and I rang her up and I said, Darling,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go to a and e. I've

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Speaker 1: got a bit of an issue going on here.

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Speaker 4: And she said, oh, come to our place where she works.

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Speaker 4: We've got a walk in clinic, right yes, And I said, oh, okay,

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Speaker 4: sweet ass, So I d I drove down to her place.

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Speaker 1: And walked into the reception there and said, Hi, there, blood,

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Speaker 1: my name's Jason.

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Speaker 4: I've got this thing going on. And apparently you guys

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Speaker 4: got a walk in clinic. And the receptionist said no,

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Speaker 4: and I went, ah, that's really weird because my wife

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Speaker 4: works here. And she told me that you guys had

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Speaker 4: a walk in clinic and she said, oh, who's your wife?

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Speaker 4: And I said blah blah blah, and she went oh no,

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Speaker 4: and I went, oh, okay, that's a bit weird. Then

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Speaker 4: sorry about that.

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Speaker 1: She said, I'll tell you what. Just sit down.

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Speaker 4: And we'll get a nurse to see you and see

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Speaker 4: what's going on. And I went, oh, thank you for that.

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Speaker 4: I apologize I've got I misheard. Then I text my

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Speaker 4: wife and said, you guys don't have a walk in

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Speaker 4: clinic and she said, I never said we had a

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Speaker 4: walk in clinic.

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Speaker 1: I said, Newland Health has a walk in clinic.

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Speaker 4: Your doctor and I went, ah my bed and she said,

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Speaker 4: oh Jesus, because it makes her look bad.

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Speaker 2: It does, you know what I mean? Really bad?

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Speaker 4: Actually, so then the nurse loctor a that and went Jesus,

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Speaker 4: and then she said Jesus yes. And then the doctor

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Speaker 4: she said, oh, see if I can get a doctor,

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Speaker 4: if not, you might have to go.

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Speaker 2: To New Lynn and I went out, that's where your work,

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Speaker 2: suggest ye bloody handy.

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Speaker 1: Then the doctor looked at it and went, oh, fuck me.

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Speaker 2: Did he say that's what? The doctor said?

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Speaker 1: No, he said that.

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Speaker 4: Must be very painful and I said, yeah, it's pretty

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Speaker 4: uncomfortable and he said yes.

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Speaker 3: What did you say?

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Speaker 2: And I went, I'm a backbone. I shut up and

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Speaker 2: get on with it.

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Speaker 1: And then he wrote me out a prescription and some

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Speaker 1: stuff to put on my wounds and then said I

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Speaker 1: look at you weird.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean wait, so you still haven't actually

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Speaker 3: gone to are you sure? He gave you a thorough

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Speaker 3: seeing over, and.

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Speaker 2: He was wearing a medical professional Okay, no, well he's

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Speaker 2: a doctor and he locked at it.

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Speaker 1: As tool and had a lock and went, oh yea,

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Speaker 1: we might have to drain that.

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Speaker 2: Did he drain it?

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Speaker 4: No, but he said, well the medication, your douche, do

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Speaker 4: dooche for the first couple of doses and hopefully that

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Speaker 4: will reduce it, and then we may look at if

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Speaker 4: it's softened up a bit, we could drain it.

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Speaker 3: Can Can I be there when that happens?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: What about the pants man with the camera?

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Speaker 2: Pantsman in there?

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Speaker 1: Fuck the pants man?

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Speaker 3: You can imagine that thousand likes on Instagram video it

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Speaker 3: would be that would go off. I hope we could

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Speaker 3: do a live broadcast from you getting your own and

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Speaker 3: then I come in.

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Speaker 4: Here in our boss Toddy tells me a story he

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Speaker 4: had the same thing and nearly died. And so now

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Speaker 4: I'm feeling a bit woozy.

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Speaker 3: That is so I love. Yeah, he's like and I

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Speaker 3: feel slightly feverish, says like, Jason's going weird.

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Speaker 2: But what's interesting is the other day you were saying

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Speaker 2: you were feeling woozy, and then it came to nothing,

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Speaker 2: and now you're feeling woozy. Yes, fancy that'll come to nothing.

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Speaker 3: He feels woozy during the podcast and then forgets about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, but busy.

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Speaker 4: But my throat's feeling a bit. But you got you

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Speaker 4: gotta add into this. My daughter's been ready crop.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, as related.

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Speaker 2: I don't think it is either. So you want to

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Speaker 2: edit in anyway.

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Speaker 4: I've got a feeling it's going to add itself. And

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Speaker 4: I think because my wife was coming home. When my

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Speaker 4: wife came home from work today, she was feeling.

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Speaker 3: A bit woozy.

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Speaker 1: And she is a backbone. She is an actual back

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Speaker 1: She's an actual backbone.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but because because her husband just came to her

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Speaker 3: place of work and acted like a buffoon in front

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Speaker 3: of it.

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Speaker 2: The Whole Archy Big Show week days from four on

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Speaker 2: Radio Hurarchy with the Whole Wracky Big Show podcast.

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Speaker 4: That was really funny because I was saying to that,

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Speaker 4: I was like, I am so sorry. This isn't my

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Speaker 4: wife's fault. I completely misheard what she said, and he

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Speaker 4: was like, oh no, that's all good, that's all good.

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Speaker 4: It was very quick, five minutes in a lock and

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Speaker 4: then he type typed out the prescription and.

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Speaker 2: She was going to get a promotion that's gone there. Yeah, probably,

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Speaker 2: I do like the idea of buffoon chat buffoon is

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Speaker 2: really good. That's not just for you, Jose, for me

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Speaker 2: as well. What buffoonery have I been out too lately?

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Speaker 3: Probably the most recent is you're dropping your phone in.

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Speaker 2: Your poos and the ship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that was a good That is so bewildering to me, Like,

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Speaker 3: I just well.

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Speaker 2: It was in my back pocket.

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Speaker 1: I can totally see how it's in my back pocket.

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Speaker 3: And then wallet pocket almost yeah, right pocket.

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Speaker 2: Generally i'd be on my phone, so I don't know

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Speaker 2: what's going on there, but you were on your wallet,

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Speaker 2: but I was pulling my pants up and obviously it

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Speaker 2: then was half hanging out and then just straight to

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Speaker 2: the ship, did you f and Jeff, I'll be honest

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Speaker 2: with you had a couple of beers and I didn't

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Speaker 2: really care.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good thing about a few beers.

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Speaker 2: Horrified otherwise you So the end of it was sticking

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Speaker 2: out the phone was of the phone was sticking out,

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Speaker 2: so I didn't have to get shitty air his fingers

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Speaker 2: and then in the basin and then straight into the

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Speaker 2: I just flushed the toilet and then flushed it again

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Speaker 2: and held my phone in there. And then because I

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Speaker 2: was hanging sort of bent over the toilet, I felt

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Speaker 2: sick and I puked all over my phone. Yeah, straight

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Speaker 2: in the basin, And then I was worried about it,

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Speaker 2: fucking out proof? Aren't they? Yeah? Water resistant? So I

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Speaker 2: was I thought, if ever there's a phone on the

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Speaker 2: planet that's not more resistant, it'll be mine.

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Speaker 3: Yes, But yeah, to do are they resistant? Though? That's

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Speaker 3: the thing you want to check?

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Speaker 2: Well, they seemed to be. I think a little bit

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Speaker 2: of ship got stuck in the microphone. But because how good?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because he called me this morning, I was talking

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Speaker 3: ship and my breast ship.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't decide. Jo walked walking.

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Speaker 4: Around the house looking at the soles of your feet

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Speaker 4: all the time while you're on your phone.

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Speaker 1: Shit smell coming from.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's horribly because I fixate on weird ship like that.

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Speaker 3: So like, for example, I had to recently. You know

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Speaker 3: how the toilet seat gets wobbly, Yeah, I've got that,

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Speaker 3: And so I was like, right, I've got to fix it.

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Speaker 3: My parents are coming to stay, and my mom's sliding

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Speaker 3: off my exactly.

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Speaker 2: That's when you do things right.

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Speaker 3: And so I had to pull it apart. And the

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Speaker 3: idea that I have been pissing and shedding into this

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Speaker 3: thing for like years, and now I have to get

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Speaker 3: hands on with it. And so I just washed my hands,

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Speaker 3: wash my hands, get in there, do all the work,

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Speaker 3: do all the work, and then instantly wash my hands twice.

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Speaker 3: And I had to do it twice because the first

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Speaker 3: one just gets the worst of the bat bugs off.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 4: I did a weird thing, true story, in the toilet today.

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Speaker 4: Actually it was pretty buffoonery. I sat on the toilet

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Speaker 4: and I was taking my morning dumb and.

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Speaker 1: I went and I went, this feels weird.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, you forgot to take your pants for

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Speaker 2: forgot to t.

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Speaker 4: Now I take my pants down, but I had it

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Speaker 4: was up. I hadn't put the seat down. I was

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Speaker 4: just sitting on the rim of the toilet.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, the moment that your legs hit it.

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Speaker 1: Well, I was a bit distracted by my impending death.

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Speaker 3: So you're sitting in the toilet with your golf ball, but.

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Speaker 1: I'm not in the toilet. I was just around the rim.

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Speaker 2: I just like hanging back there like a little Kidlet Hey,

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Speaker 2: I've got a question. For you then keys, what kind

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Speaker 2: of toilet have you got? Because the players we've moved

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Speaker 2: into that has got a similar thing happening with the seat,

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Speaker 2: but it's one of those ones where you can't get

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Speaker 2: to the screws because it's totally enclosed.

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Speaker 3: Ah to adjust it. Yeah, it's probably like a clip

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Speaker 3: thing that you have to like force up and click

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Speaker 3: off and then you'll be able. That's what mine has

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Speaker 3: is to cap cover things. Oh yeah, right, it depends.

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Speaker 3: It's like silver.

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Speaker 2: Yeah on the top, yeah, because generally you just reach

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Speaker 2: underneath the sea. Yeah, but it's fully enclosed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so the top ones, it's literally pop the caps

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Speaker 3: off and tighten those screws.

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Speaker 2: Okay, because that fucking annoys me. The other thing that

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Speaker 2: also annoys me about this toilet that we've got, it's

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Speaker 2: a very very small horse one, you know, so when

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Speaker 2: you sit down on the toilet, you're you're the wall.

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Speaker 2: Your knees are against the wall. Oh yeah, that's yeah,

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Speaker 2: And so it's not comfortable. Also, I sort of find

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Speaker 2: myself turning not quite at a forty five, maybe a

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Speaker 2: thirty eight, thirty seven, just towards the door a little

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Speaker 2: bit to give myself some knee road and then that leaves.

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Speaker 2: Every time I go to the toilet there is just

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Speaker 2: shit all over the walls, but all up the side

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Speaker 2: of the toilet, you know, because your angles. I don't

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Speaker 2: like it. Yeah, anyway, I don't know if there's anything

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Speaker 2: to do.

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Speaker 3: About that dry broke there.

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Speaker 2: If I just twist my anus around. Oh have you

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Speaker 2: tried dropping your phone in it? I'll give that a

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Speaker 2: go tonight. Actually, I'm going to have your beers and

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Speaker 2: do a ship. Sorry everyone out there, it's a gross

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Speaker 2: when people talk like that.

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Speaker 3: Hey about happy Matiliki though.

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Speaker 2: Years it's going to be great.

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Speaker 1: So good?

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Speaker 3: What are you guys doing?

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Speaker 2: I like him? How honestly? How was How was the

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Speaker 2: weather today?

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Speaker 1: Beautiful?

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Speaker 2: Beautiful?

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Speaker 1: Cold?

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Speaker 2: Actually, well that's probably because could you feel it in

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Speaker 2: your golf ball?

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Speaker 4: Man?

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Speaker 2: You feel it in your golf balls.

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Speaker 4: My golf ball feels your flesh balls burning and sharp painy, Well.

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Speaker 2: That means we're going to have a beautiful That means

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Speaker 2: that's a portent. If I can say that Jay's important

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Speaker 2: for the year to come, that are going to have

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Speaker 2: a burning and it means it's going to be a

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Speaker 2: great year for me and Kesy. You're you're you're knocking

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Speaker 2: on this door.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I am now, and I'm quite concerned,

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Speaker 4: and my throat's gone all weird.

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Speaker 2: I tell you what. Over the course of the show,

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Speaker 2: we're going to make you feel so much better about it.

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Speaker 1: Hey, but yeah, just keep an eye on me.

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Speaker 4: Just see if I change color or something, you know,

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Speaker 4: like if I'm suddenly pale or whatever, because I am

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Speaker 4: suddenly very husky.

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Speaker 3: No, you're great because you've been punching darts after Toddy's

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Speaker 3: story about him almost dying.

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Speaker 1: No, because I didn't bring my dance with me. I

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Speaker 1: would have. If I had a head a dart, then

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Speaker 1: I would have had a dart.

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Speaker 3: When you sat in the toilet this morning, I didn't

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Speaker 3: sit in it.

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Speaker 1: I sat on it.

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Speaker 3: Do you have a shower afterwards or have you got

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Speaker 3: toilet us right now?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: I generally doing my dump and then have a shower.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why you do it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the old midnight steamer truck.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, Hey, thanks for listening to this great podcast. Listen

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Speaker 3: to The Hiducky Big Show four to seven every weekday

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Speaker 3: on Radio Hurdarky.

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Speaker 2: Thanks mate,