Speaker 1: As rogue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collective. Oh thanks to the
Speaker 2: great New Zealanders. Add Max Raft.
Speaker 3: Yes well, welcome back to the Export Big Garden Studios
Speaker 3: and the coverage is brought to you by Razine. Can
Speaker 3: we make stains and paints?
Speaker 4: What beautiful data's down in christ Church?
Speaker 5: Absolute stunner, beautiful day to either sit on the bank,
Speaker 5: watch a bit of cricket or maybe pump the avon.
Speaker 3: Cass comes in bowls, abounce to Smith. He gets underneath it. Yeah, lovely.
Speaker 3: It's as she mentioned, Jerry Bent absolutely shithouse in Auckland
Speaker 3: all weekend.
Speaker 6: Pessing down.
Speaker 3: And I had big plans yesterday to get out of
Speaker 3: my garden.
Speaker 6: Sadly they were wrecked by the weather.
Speaker 4: It's absolutely beautiful down.
Speaker 5: I mean, if you guys ever punted the avon, yes,
Speaker 5: I you know what I I poop pooped the idea
Speaker 5: of punting on the avon.
Speaker 4: I thought myself, why do you want to punt on
Speaker 4: the avon?
Speaker 3: I made love while I was punting on the avon once.
Speaker 3: This is pushed by Smith out through the covers for
Speaker 3: a single.
Speaker 4: Did you make love with the with the punter.
Speaker 6: Or was going to rend us Jerry? Why would I
Speaker 6: do that?
Speaker 5: Well, maybe that was the idea of pumping on the
Speaker 5: avon and that's well I had a good height for that.
Speaker 3: Certainly to be more accurate, there was someone else punting while.
Speaker 6: I made love. Okay, I don't know that he.
Speaker 3: Was terribly comfortable with what was going on, but it
Speaker 3: just seemed like an opportune moment, very romantic.
Speaker 7: Does that count as the devil's threesome?
Speaker 6: Explain to me.
Speaker 3: A devil's threesome is that where a third party doesn't
Speaker 3: really want to be the third party.
Speaker 7: Two guys wonker Ah.
Speaker 3: This is a nicely driven by Mitchell down the ground
Speaker 3: through med On. I don't think it will which to
Speaker 3: the boundary and probably get three.
Speaker 5: When I punted the ovon with Matt Heath about ten
Speaker 5: years ago, we were underneath a travel rug and so I.
Speaker 4: Imagine, were you underneath the rug or were you were
Speaker 4: you open?
Speaker 8: You were?
Speaker 4: It was all open?
Speaker 6: It's fully open. Wow?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 7: Were you close on Jason or full full moon bearers?
Speaker 6: Full moon bearers?
Speaker 7: Okay? Interesting, brave?
Speaker 3: We funnily enough on the big show there we punted
Speaker 3: the avon as well, and Mike Nague was sitting behind me,
Speaker 3: got a little bit frisky at one stage. Cass bowls
Speaker 3: another bouncer. I don't know, seems like a waste to
Speaker 3: me at the moment. The English bowling short to Smith
Speaker 3: get it up there.
Speaker 6: I saw my idea.
Speaker 5: I saw Mike Minogue have his way with you on
Speaker 5: a video in the kitchen the other day. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: still trying to unsee that.
Speaker 3: So am I I'm still trying to unfeel that. Jerry.
Speaker 3: There's a hell of a shock. I can tell you
Speaker 3: he's rough with you.
Speaker 6: It is rough.
Speaker 4: He really threw you around.
Speaker 7: That is workplace bulliant.
Speaker 6: It was a vigorous thrust. Can I say that much?
Speaker 5: He's been working out recently, Mike Manague, he is a
Speaker 5: powerful unit.
Speaker 6: He is.
Speaker 3: Cast comes around that. That's an awkward ball and Smith
Speaker 3: does well to keep it down. He is a powerful unit.
Speaker 3: And I suspected it a roid action was in that
Speaker 3: as well. Actually he felt roided up when he was
Speaker 3: pounding away there, and certainly very aggressive. Have you got
Speaker 3: any bruising or Funnily enough, I was having a shower
Speaker 3: today and I noticed a bruise on my left thigh
Speaker 3: which is weird because he wasn't anywhere near my left thigh,
Speaker 3: but I think the impact of the thrust came through
Speaker 3: to my thighs. Cars bowls another bouncer, so obviously a
Speaker 3: plan of attack from England had a bowl short to
Speaker 3: the well, don't read your tail end, or is he?
Speaker 3: And it's Smith's playing it very comfortably.
Speaker 4: He's twelve off twenty seven.
Speaker 7: You've got to take photos of those bruises, Jase, they
Speaker 7: can become evidentiary.
Speaker 3: Sad please, But actually, now that I think about because
Speaker 3: I try not to think about.
Speaker 7: It, so you commentated about it instead.
Speaker 3: I'll talk about it. At one says he did grip
Speaker 3: my thighs.
Speaker 7: Does this happen in the kitchen?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 7: At Hodaki, Yeah, just out therely.
Speaker 5: In fact, there's video footage on the internet. It's doing
Speaker 5: the rounds at the moment.
Speaker 3: It's quite shocked that are our producer decided to put
Speaker 3: that in the public sort of view really, but there
Speaker 3: you go. Now Stokes holds to literally defends family and there's.
Speaker 1: No run as rugue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collect you Oh, thanks to the.
Speaker 1: Great New Zealanders at resin.
Speaker 3: Stokes again. This has plaid off the hip. Nice sleep
Speaker 3: another single.
Speaker 7: Well, I'm sorry here, Jason, you weren't able to get
Speaker 7: out and tend to your garden yesterday.
Speaker 6: I wouldn't call it a garden.
Speaker 7: It's not a metaphor, by the way, order whatever it
Speaker 7: is you're running down there.
Speaker 3: An abomination at the moment is when I'm running there,
Speaker 3: it's like ados in Wonderland my backyard.
Speaker 7: Well, I had the pleasure of being at Glane's house
Speaker 7: last night with Paul Ford and we were admiring his
Speaker 7: recently receded receded grass has lorn out the back and
Speaker 7: comparing it to Jeremies because I know he is very.
Speaker 6: Lord Jeremy Jeremy lawn obsessed.
Speaker 7: And Jerry on that. No, I've got a question for you.
Speaker 7: Just come in on the text machine three two three six, Hey, Jerry,
Speaker 7: I've got two long questions. One how can I find
Speaker 7: out what kind of lawn grass I have? And two?
Speaker 7: How often should.
Speaker 3: One cass bowls to Smithy defense down a met off
Speaker 3: for a single? In fact, they'll come back for two.
Speaker 3: This is all very comfortable for New Zealand at the moment.
Speaker 3: Is I don't know what England's doing.
Speaker 7: To be honest, how often should one de thatch or scarify?
Speaker 7: Is that a word? Spring and autumn? Question mark?
Speaker 5: Love you babes, No good questions, both of them. You
Speaker 5: can go to what's my lawn dot com and take
Speaker 5: a photo of your lawn and that generally comes up mine.
Speaker 5: Mine is a fiscue mix, very hard wearing lawn.
Speaker 3: Casts around the work at bowls to Smith, who defends
Speaker 3: up to cover no rum.
Speaker 5: I find if you go with the rye grass fescue combo,
Speaker 5: maybe seventy percent fiscu thirty percent rye grass. It's hard
Speaker 5: wearing enough. Also can hold onto enough moisture in summer, so.
Speaker 4: You know you're not going to dry out.
Speaker 5: Although, to be honest, at the moment, I am running
Speaker 5: a terrible clover through my lawn. I don't know if
Speaker 5: you guys have ever had clover in your lawn before?
Speaker 7: Is that forced upon you? Is it what they call
Speaker 7: south seating? Does that come in from the neighbors?
Speaker 5: I think so. I think I may have dragged it
Speaker 5: in with my lawn mower. Cheez, it's real shame. Ashually,
Speaker 5: I find with my lawn.
Speaker 3: Cass bowls to Smith, if your fence back to the
Speaker 3: bowl and no rum dog poos. My dogs are prolelefic
Speaker 3: shdder and I'm forever trying to get rid of the
Speaker 3: poos over the neighbor's house there. And also we have
Speaker 3: we're running a lot of cabbage trees, Jerry, and the
Speaker 3: throngs from the cabbage tree, and absolute.
Speaker 6: Bastard for the lawnmark.
Speaker 3: I'll wrap around there, wrap around the rotor there, bane
Speaker 3: of my life.
Speaker 4: And know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 6: Cars again round the work at.
Speaker 3: This is nicely pushed by Smith, who I must say
Speaker 3: looks very accomplished.
Speaker 4: Jase, do you run an open fire? Are your place?
Speaker 3: We've got rid of our fire purely because you know
Speaker 3: every year you have to get it inspected for your insurance.
Speaker 3: And the feller came over there to sweep our chimney
Speaker 3: and he went, your fireplace is fucked and we went, ah, okay,
Speaker 3: that's no good, because I love a fire. I'm a
Speaker 3: big fan of a fire. This is shorten outside the
Speaker 3: off stump through to the keeper. No run, So we
Speaker 3: wrapped it out and got a you know, the heating
Speaker 3: aircon heat heat pump eating it, which has been a revelation. Actually,
Speaker 3: and you know we thought our power bell would go
Speaker 3: through the roof. It's actually been cheaper. There you go
Speaker 3: and the house is toasty airs. But I do miss
Speaker 3: my fireplace.
Speaker 5: Well, I've got a little hack for you jas that
Speaker 5: you're not going to need now that you don't use
Speaker 5: your fireplace, but for any fire users out there, which
Speaker 5: I'll share with you in a moment.
Speaker 3: Casts again short and wide and left alone, fifty five
Speaker 3: overs gone.
Speaker 6: You's see in one four for six.
Speaker 1: As rogue is a tail ender.
Speaker 2: It's the Alternative Common Toy Collective thanks.
Speaker 1: To Max Draft.
Speaker 9: Beckyard Cricket that's part of Kiwi Summer. I've blown out
Speaker 9: your gendle and to make sure your Summer BYC doesn't
Speaker 9: end in a blowout, the Alternative Commentary Collective has seemed
Speaker 9: up with Rebel Sport and Silver Fern Sport to bring
Speaker 9: you the ultimate BYC kit, perfect for Christmas gifting. Plus
Speaker 9: we're passing it forward. With every kit you buy, another
Speaker 9: one goes to charity, so you're giving twice this summer.
Speaker 9: Take Sport to three two three six for a direct
Speaker 9: link to grab your kit.
Speaker 6: Use Indeed, welcome back.
Speaker 3: You see them doing nicely at the moment thirty three
Speaker 3: runs ahead, and jeez, I got to say, anyone, it's
Speaker 3: been disappointing this morning, a brage of short pitch bowling
Speaker 3: that has had little to no effect at all on
Speaker 3: the New Zealand Batsman.
Speaker 6: They've looked very comfortable.
Speaker 4: Earlier on. We're just talking about fires and cabbage tree fronds.
Speaker 3: Yes, has clipped off his pads by Mitchell out through midwork,
Speaker 3: ed or get us.
Speaker 5: Tell you a good little hack is to gather up
Speaker 5: those fronds, fold them over, tie, maybe get ten of
Speaker 5: them together, tie them around.
Speaker 6: Oh, you're talking about creating a fagot.
Speaker 5: They make great faggots. Amazing kindling. Chuck that on the
Speaker 5: fire and then a little bit of paper underneath it,
Speaker 5: and she goes up like nobody's business.
Speaker 4: Is that right? Amazing kindling.
Speaker 6: Funnily enough, Jerry, I've got a little I don't know
Speaker 6: how I got there.
Speaker 3: Stokes comes in now to Smith, who's on seventeen shorten wad.
Speaker 3: I've got a little pot belly up in my lawn,
Speaker 3: an old school metal cast iron pot belly.
Speaker 6: And what I do is just as you explained.
Speaker 3: Actually, I fold them up and I stuff them down
Speaker 3: the top there with a little firelighter and chuck that
Speaker 3: down there.
Speaker 6: They burn like a bastard.
Speaker 4: You're quite right, or amazing amazing things. That's the only
Speaker 4: thing they're good for.
Speaker 6: Absolutely well.
Speaker 7: I've tried the cabbage in a salad. It's terrible. It's
Speaker 7: nothing like cabbage.
Speaker 3: That's a poorly named tree there, Stokes bolts us Methew
Speaker 3: defends nicely up to mid on.
Speaker 4: No run, you're going to take a broken hand. You
Speaker 4: over to pull Stuart forward.
Speaker 7: That's good because I want to ask I want to
Speaker 7: ask Paul Stewart forward where he stands on Ready Lawn? Actually,
Speaker 7: where you stand on Ready lawn? Jase. I don't mean
Speaker 7: where you stand on the lawn when it's there. I
Speaker 7: mean what's your moral or philosophical position on Ready Lawn?
Speaker 7: Are you a fan?
Speaker 3: You definitely drifted and by Smith elegantly through the covers.
Speaker 6: Jeez, he's looking good.
Speaker 3: And you'll get at least a capital here and I'll
Speaker 3: come back for three lovely shut in England. I'm a
Speaker 3: little bit frustrated. My lawn's an abomination.
Speaker 6: I thought that was the garden or the gardeners as well.
Speaker 3: But I've been doing a lot of mowing, and it's
Speaker 3: gradually coming back to its full grandeur good, which is
Speaker 3: why I was disappointed with the rain yesterday because it
Speaker 3: needed another mow. I'm certainly not the sort of guy
Speaker 3: that would buy Ready Lord.
Speaker 7: Well neither was I, but it was forced upon me
Speaker 7: by my partner. Recently, we ripped out a herb garden.
Speaker 7: This is what you do with christ jesh, that's what
Speaker 7: you do with your spare time.
Speaker 3: Stokes comes in bowls on the hip of literally just
Speaker 3: clips it yerily down to Fine League for a.
Speaker 7: Single we ripped out a herb garden. I just thought
Speaker 7: we'd throw some seeds on it, a dollar fifty at
Speaker 7: Bunnings or mine to ten and it would come back
Speaker 7: and let nature do its thing. And I know we
Speaker 7: had to get ready lown, so we went to effort
Speaker 7: and some expense to secure this ready lawn, which you
Speaker 7: can buy these strips. It's an amazing product, Ready lawn,
Speaker 7: you just roll it out. But now we've got something
Speaker 7: that looks like a bad Brazilian on one side of
Speaker 7: our lawn, and it's completely different to our existing grass.
Speaker 7: And I'm sure it's going to grow in, but I'm
Speaker 7: not seeing how that's possible.
Speaker 3: Stokes bowls to Smith, who's just looking very comfortable at
Speaker 3: the moment as he gets a single out through medwicker.
Speaker 7: Which is why I want to know what your position
Speaker 7: has pulled forward on readylawners. Do you have to go
Speaker 7: one hundred percent ready lawn? You can't because you can't
Speaker 7: do it in patches? Is that the mistake we've made?
Speaker 6: Yeah? Eventually will that gred will die? Suggest? Yeah?
Speaker 10: No, I'm a purist, you know, good on you. I
Speaker 10: do like T twenty cricket from time to time, But
Speaker 10: on lawns, I'm very clear. I think when the lawns
Speaker 10: were invented, of course, in the seventeen hundred's the Palace
Speaker 10: of Versailles, Andre Lanota, who invented the lawn, he wasn't
Speaker 10: using ready lawn, absolutely, he was burning it back, getting
Speaker 10: all the wooden, turning that into faggots and then preparing
Speaker 10: the ground not for Reddy long.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean it's I mean I could see why Jerry,
Speaker 6: Jerry would you know, run with them really lorn. That
Speaker 6: seems like his type of thinger.
Speaker 7: Either it's cheating, well, it is cheating, that's the thing,
Speaker 7: you know, And it's the Tea twenty Cricket of Gardening.
Speaker 6: It is now I understand Paul Ford.
Speaker 3: From what Lee Baker was saying earlier in the broadcast
Speaker 3: here at Mike Lane's house last night.
Speaker 6: I certainly was so cast.
Speaker 3: Comes in now bowling to smith on twenty one, who
Speaker 3: defends as.
Speaker 1: Rougue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collective.
Speaker 11: Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders ad resin.
Speaker 6: Seven New Zealand. As we joined by that Sandy's and
Speaker 6: unplayable that more, it was a doozy kip load knit
Speaker 6: back and I was just saying to pull forward.
Speaker 3: There shows what happens when you pitch it up a
Speaker 3: little bit and you let the pitch do the work.
Speaker 3: And Rold Smithy was looking so good too. Nothing he
Speaker 3: could really do with that.
Speaker 10: Yeah, not very convincing when you look back at the umpire.
Speaker 6: Going oh yeah it was close.
Speaker 3: Well, I think it was just because of the height
Speaker 3: more than anything else. So did you say a red
Speaker 3: wine margarita mets there?
Speaker 10: No, no, no, no rounds, separate chapters.
Speaker 6: It's nothing quite like a red wine hangover either. Yeah,
Speaker 6: it is dirty.
Speaker 10: We did go down to the We went down for
Speaker 10: a swim at a him, just to sort of what
Speaker 10: cleans ourselves?
Speaker 6: Has he got a poll? No, we went to the
Speaker 6: sea now a nick beach. I think it is right.
Speaker 3: That's a good way to sort of clear the head
Speaker 3: a little bit or make you throw up, either.
Speaker 6: Of the two. I felt, interestingly. I loved that cast
Speaker 6: now bowling to the new man Henry, who collapsed him
Speaker 6: through point. But it would just get a single.
Speaker 3: You said, I'll lead by forty now a bit of
Speaker 3: a tragedy because they were going along very solidly.
Speaker 6: And then then you said Nathan Smith was looking really
Speaker 6: really good.
Speaker 1: As rougue as a tail ender on stripe.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collect you, Oh, thanks to
Speaker 2: the great New Zealanders at resin.
Speaker 3: I'm very partial to cheese myself. I'll have to make
Speaker 3: myself crackers with cheese and cherry tomatoes and a few peckles.
Speaker 1: On hot I like cheese and grapes.
Speaker 4: Just as a good time snap, good time.
Speaker 3: Interesting cars comes in, looks out fall to the the
Speaker 3: tried to whip it down lynside. It looked out for
Speaker 3: all money, I've got to say. And even Henry's shaking
Speaker 3: his head, going I'm running in a bottle of that one.
Speaker 3: It was sort of york a lens and yeah and
Speaker 3: Cas gets five for.
Speaker 6: But yeah, he was all over the top of that one, Henry,
Speaker 6: let's have a look at it again. It was very
Speaker 6: full and oh yeah.
Speaker 10: Jeez, Louise, that's plant and he knew it, annihilating that
Speaker 10: gap between middle of the league stump I would say.
Speaker 6: So, what what cheesey head this morning to I'll tell
Speaker 6: you what we do. It's we'll take a quick break
Speaker 6: and be back shortly.
Speaker 2: Coverage that you'll never leave even when it's outside the line.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collective. Oh thanks to the
Speaker 2: great New Zealanders and Max ra.
Speaker 6: I feel us, Yes.
Speaker 10: Met, you're hopelessly confused, just like you Jason. At the
Speaker 10: other end, well, I mean it was clearly off the bed,
Speaker 10: onto the ground.
Speaker 6: And off his pehit clearly obviously, and then claiming that
Speaker 6: Eckinson was interested in that being a catch.
Speaker 3: It's just mouthing off at the umpire there and this
Speaker 3: has taded off and.
Speaker 10: These ninety four six to go.
Speaker 3: I I really think the English are just being stupid.
Speaker 6: Quite a sweary appeal as well.
Speaker 3: It was that was a nice he directed ball but
Speaker 3: kept out from Salvey.
Speaker 10: That's the Trent Bolt kind of a shot, isn't it that?
Speaker 10: I think he's been having some bedding classes up at
Speaker 10: Mount MONGANOI.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you what, Tim Salvey looks passed off to me.
Speaker 3: So I'm expecting some fireworks there.
Speaker 10: You got in the air again, sex more ninety five sixes.
Speaker 4: Cheezy plays a pool shot well, drerim it.
Speaker 5: She just so much time and that shot there he
Speaker 5: just stood up, stands to attention and then just rolls
Speaker 5: the wrists on it.
Speaker 4: Perfect execution.
Speaker 10: It's a niggla single to decline when you're on forty
Speaker 10: nine too, isn't it.
Speaker 4: There?
Speaker 6: I mean, what and what other sport do you have?
Speaker 6: The useless?
Speaker 5: This one's swinging away a slow ball from workes and
Speaker 5: has guided down guy. And that's fifty four Daryl Mitchell.
Speaker 5: Fifty of one hundred and thirty two balls in New
Speaker 5: Zealand are two fourteen for nine, a lead of.
Speaker 1: Sixty three, as rugue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the Alternative Commentary Collective. Oh thanks to the
Speaker 2: great New Zealanders at resin.
Speaker 3: Yes, indeed, welcome back. And this is that this cheries.
Speaker 3: I've had a fatal mistake. It's going to be one
Speaker 3: of those games.
Speaker 6: Isn't It just frustrates the shit out of you. Maybe
Speaker 6: it's just me a little bit mad. I've recently given
Speaker 6: up the darries again.
Speaker 3: And beckers and bowls to Mitchell, who just guides it
Speaker 3: down to third man for a single, which is all
Speaker 3: well and good. Oh he doesn't she doesn't run. And
Speaker 3: I'm a little bit towey at the moment because I'm
Speaker 3: only eight days in. I made a terrible mistake and
Speaker 3: forgot my nicorette gum today. Christ so I don't even
Speaker 3: have my necorette gum. And this is gonna be one
Speaker 3: of those you just have a vibe at the moment.
Speaker 3: It's gonna go a bit longer than you'd like it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: maybe probably an hour and a half longer than i'd like,
Speaker 3: hopefully six hours longer. But New Zealand fighting away here
Speaker 3: sixty nine is the lead.
Speaker 10: Nice Could you go out onto the street and buy
Speaker 10: something to sort of as a replacement for that, like
Speaker 10: a bagel?
Speaker 6: You mean, like a packet of cigarettes? Would you chase?
Speaker 7: Would you consider foraging around in a rubbish bind and
Speaker 7: getting a stub, comfortying yourself with the knowledge that I'm
Speaker 7: not smoking a full dorry. I'm just getting a slight hat.
Speaker 7: So I haven't broken the rules.
Speaker 3: That can send bowls to MATCHELLU smashes him through Point fer.
Speaker 6: Four Lovely Shop.
Speaker 3: No, purely because they'll probably be quite wet and moist.
Speaker 7: I think we judge too harshly people that go through
Speaker 7: rubbish bins and oh absolutely grab bits and pieces, whether
Speaker 7: it be food or tobacco that has the second life.
Speaker 7: I think they're great scavengers, great recyclists.
Speaker 6: One of my favorite things.
Speaker 3: And one of my comedy heroes, Barry Humphries used to do,
Speaker 3: was fine rubbish bins that were next to bus stops
Speaker 3: or something like that and plant stuff in the rubbish
Speaker 3: bin as Atkinson bowls too. Matchell who has a swipe
Speaker 3: and makes no contact, and then he dress himself up
Speaker 3: as a tramp and he'd wander over to wander over
Speaker 3: to the rubbish bin and start rummaging through it, and
Speaker 3: all the people would be watching, going, oh, it's terrible,
Speaker 3: and then he'd pull out like a bottle of champagne
Speaker 3: and a full roast chicken, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: and then just start eating the chicken and drinking from
Speaker 3: the bottle of champagne. Another thing he used to do,
Speaker 3: which I used to love. He used to go unto shops,
Speaker 3: this is back in his student days, awfull and just
Speaker 3: clap down to belong on for a single and he'd
Speaker 3: buy like a bar of soap, and he'd go up
Speaker 3: to the counter and he'd pay for the bar of soap,
Speaker 3: and then he'd leave without taking the bar of soap,
Speaker 3: and the shopkeeper would be like, oh, you forgot your soap,
Speaker 3: and he's like, I don't want the soap. I just
Speaker 3: wanted to buy it, and then he'd just walk out again.
Speaker 3: And he used to do this to this particular dairy
Speaker 3: or a shop owner for ages until he went out
Speaker 3: of business. Baby lost his mind over this because all
Speaker 3: its mates used to do it as well, go into
Speaker 3: the shop and buy stuff but then just leave without
Speaker 3: taking it.
Speaker 6: Just to fuck with people. And this is what this
Speaker 6: game is doing with me right now. It's it's fucking
Speaker 6: with you. No, it's good.
Speaker 3: I mean, well, you know we're showing a bit of fight.
Speaker 3: And seventy five is.
Speaker 2: The lead as rogue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary can let you. Oh, thanks
Speaker 2: to the great New Zealanders at Resin.
Speaker 4: So it's going to be cast again looking for a
Speaker 4: sixth wicket. It's finally Di.
Speaker 5: Mitchell, who's on eighty four mental drives down the ground,
Speaker 5: doesn't time it perfectly and strike down the throat of
Speaker 5: Chris Woks mid off and that is the end of
Speaker 5: the New Zealand innings. And that's the end of Daryl
Speaker 5: Mitchell's innings. He's gone for eighty.
Speaker 1: This rugue is a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collective.
Speaker 1: Oh, thanks to the great New Zealanders at Resin.
Speaker 5: Welcome back to their commentary position Lee Baker and Paul
Speaker 5: Stewart forward.
Speaker 7: Here we are the final denu one. How long would
Speaker 7: this take? That's the big question. We're assuming it's an
Speaker 7: inevitable I mean the odds are not great on New
Speaker 7: Zealand defending one hundred and what is it one hundred
Speaker 7: and four? So England need one hundred and five to win.
Speaker 7: Paul Stuart Forward, you have wildly optimistic estimation favoring England.
Speaker 7: Do you think they're going to wipe this off?
Speaker 10: In what fifteen overs thirteen? I reckon and I think
Speaker 10: Zat Crawley won't We'll get none of them. It's going
Speaker 10: to be all mother duck. It just I've done a
Speaker 10: quick calculation before we get going, and I reckon there's
Speaker 10: sixty three overs left today in ninety tomorrow, so New
Speaker 10: Zealand need to keep England under point sixty seven runs
Speaker 10: per over.
Speaker 6: You can for five about five sessions.
Speaker 5: Run a bit of a sweet steak here in the
Speaker 5: SEC studio, in the Export Beer Garden studios. First ball
Speaker 5: is Sali're going to be buying to Crawley, and it
Speaker 5: swings away and really lets it go through the people.
Speaker 5: Thirteen overs, paul Ford. This is how many overs we
Speaker 5: think it's going to take them. Joe Jerry's gone with
Speaker 5: eighteen overs, Wheendy Jay's gone with twenty. I've gone with
Speaker 5: twenty six, and Lee Baker has come in with twenty four.
Speaker 5: Back how many overs? Twenty? Okay, Soudy again bowling to Crawley.
Speaker 5: This ball shapes away from Crawley as I'm pushing forward
Speaker 5: to cover.
Speaker 7: I do think it's going to the I'm guessing around
Speaker 7: a seven wicket the tree for England. I'm saying three
Speaker 7: go down in the session I think it's all going
Speaker 7: to happen.
Speaker 4: Now Dillie's got nineteen.
Speaker 7: Well, it's still it's great banning conditions. It's a new ball,
Speaker 7: but it's a bit of a road now.
Speaker 5: And your son, you see how there were two slips
Speaker 5: swings away from Crawley drives through point.
Speaker 4: But there's a man that's deep backward point. It's ration
Speaker 4: revender and I'll just keep it a one as.
Speaker 2: Rugue as a tail ender on stripe. This is the
Speaker 2: alternative commentary. Con let you oh, thanks to the great
Speaker 2: New Zealanders at resin.
Speaker 4: England. One for none.
Speaker 5: This is the second over Henry's corball by Henry.
Speaker 4: What a catch that was.
Speaker 5: He miss timed to drive, it was full and Henry
Speaker 5: with a reflex.
Speaker 4: Catch to his right. He got two hands to it.
Speaker 5: Not easy those That is the end of Crawley for one.
Speaker 4: Does he ever scored a run against us?
Speaker 6: He is uselessly.
Speaker 7: Terrible shark.
Speaker 10: Oh test betting average of thirty one was that's actually
Speaker 10: I'm gonna that's an officially a one handed catch.
Speaker 7: He had to work. He was falling away to the
Speaker 7: left Matt Henry and his follow through had to twist
Speaker 7: like a ballerina get the right met out where with
Speaker 7: both hands, as Paul Forward says, took it with the
Speaker 7: right hand the end of the fingers never easy.
Speaker 1: As Rugue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary conlet you oh, thanks to.
Speaker 11: The great New Zealanders at Resine.
Speaker 6: Welcome back and England not mucking around.
Speaker 8: This is ramped down to duck It on his way
Speaker 8: and I wrote his first delivery in the second innings.
Speaker 6: He gets to work it.
Speaker 3: Duckett gave himself through him outside the legs thumping, just
Speaker 3: ramped it straight to the man at third man.
Speaker 1: A couple of.
Speaker 6: Bombs here on the audio.
Speaker 1: Holy moly. As Rugue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary collective, oh thanks to the
Speaker 2: Greek New Zealanders Addressine.
Speaker 3: Smith to Bethel, a very quick bouncer from.
Speaker 10: He's the best case scenario from a New Zealand perspective
Speaker 10: said he maybe gets a broken hand.
Speaker 6: Or something like that.
Speaker 3: Sure, so Paul Ford rather outrageously predicted that England would
Speaker 3: chase these runs down in thirteen overs.
Speaker 6: Twelve point two and three to win.
Speaker 3: Smith comes steaming again, bowls to Bethels who slashes him
Speaker 3: down to third man.
Speaker 6: You'll get a caple there and so to win one
Speaker 6: more second cooler. Is that a bouncer? Yeah, it was
Speaker 6: pretty high.
Speaker 10: The Prodigy looks like he's going to be leaving with
Speaker 10: the Bond girl this afternoon, doesn't he There he pleases
Speaker 10: himself the dasher.
Speaker 3: Smith three point three overs none for thirty seven.
Speaker 6: He comes now.
Speaker 3: Bowls to Bethel, who smashes him out to the man.
Speaker 3: It's deep squealing. England win the Test match. Bethel finishes
Speaker 3: with a debut fifty not out and a comprehensive victory
Speaker 3: for England.
Speaker 6: By eight wickets.
Speaker 3: They didn't muck around hundred and four to when they
Speaker 3: came down, smash the living shit out of it. Quite
Speaker 3: extraordinary stuff and well played England. Paul Ford.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I mean it was tough going yesterday. Really it
Speaker 10: was moving day. England moved in and New Zealand moved
Speaker 10: out and ruthless today from a betting point of view,
Speaker 10: a little bit lethargic in the field.
Speaker 6: England is just ll us put on ninety nine runs.
Speaker 10: But you did get the feeling that they'd probably chase
Speaker 10: down whatever they were going to chase down. They're going
Speaker 10: to chase down at eight runs and over, and we
Speaker 10: probably needed to put three hundred plus on the board
Speaker 10: to really put them there any pressure. One hundred and
Speaker 10: fifty runs short. You can look back at those drop catchers,
Speaker 10: all eight of them, and you've probably had a pretty
Speaker 10: decent reason. And frankly, it's actually really hard to think
Speaker 10: about anything else that had such a big impact on
Speaker 10: the game. Harry Brooke, amazing innings, asterisk, lots of catches,
Speaker 10: some good bowling from cars. But really, I think everyone's
Speaker 10: going to be talking about these drop catches when they
Speaker 10: reflect on.
Speaker 3: This match, as they should, because it would have been
Speaker 3: a completely different complexion on the game had those catches
Speaker 3: been taken. But they weren't, you know, And if they
Speaker 3: were chasing to eighty three hundred, mind you this English side,
Speaker 3: I think we'd just go.
Speaker 6: For it regardless.
Speaker 3: But it is easier when you're chasing a hundi because
Speaker 3: even if you lose three or four and you're being aggressive,
Speaker 3: you know you're going to get there probably in the
Speaker 3: end anyway, just keep the foot to the pedal. But
Speaker 3: if you're chasing to eighty three hundred, there put more
Speaker 3: pressure on.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you go Oh, it's just steading it down.
Speaker 3: But well played England, well deserved New Zealand in many
Speaker 3: respects the architects of their own demise some very average
Speaker 3: fielding and they'll be reflecting on that.
Speaker 6: At least they know what's to improve on.
Speaker 3: And I think Paul Ford is right when he says
Speaker 3: that is probably the defining feature of the Test match.
Speaker 10: So we look ahead to the basin unless we're stupid
Speaker 10: enough to be at our own wedding Bason starts on
Speaker 10: Friday next week, and just talking to Jeremy Wells were
Speaker 10: nursing our hangovers together, and it's interesting to reflect on
Speaker 10: what New Zealand could do. The guys in the shed
Speaker 10: that they've got. They've got Mitchell Center who comes in
Speaker 10: to the second Test squad. They've got Jacob Duffy who's
Speaker 10: been running the drinks, and of course they've got well young.
Speaker 6: But I just I just can't see us doing anything
Speaker 6: too funky there.
Speaker 3: I wish we had a couple more work at cakes,
Speaker 3: just in our arsenal.
Speaker 5: Yeah, be interesting to see what evolves.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll blundle. I've got to say he's under pressure,
Speaker 3: I mean drop catchers not getting any runs at the moment,
Speaker 3: a few New Zealand batsmen under pressure. Actually Conway didn't
Speaker 3: have a great Test match. AH, Lots for people to ponder,
Speaker 3: but we appreciate the fact that you joined us here
Speaker 3: on this acc commentary and we will be back with
Speaker 3: a basin Test match and until then, from all the
Speaker 3: team have a pleasant Sunday afternoon.
Speaker 1: As lugue as a tail ender on strike.
Speaker 2: This is the alternative commentary can let you thanks to
Speaker 2: the creating Zelanders at Rizine