WEBVTT - Caravan Episode: Black Caps Vs England - 1st Test Day 1 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:03.199 As Ruga as a tail ender on strike. 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:08.760 This is the alternative commentary collective. Oh thanks to the 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:11.520 great New Zealanders at max Raft. 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:18.480 I had an absolute debarkle where I I got a 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:24.080 nap that was cheer yoga app, but doing for doing 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:29.320 yoga and a cheer right, there's no shit you need 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:29.800 an that. 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:32.040 It was an app, And so I went. 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:35.120 I was sart fifteen bucks a month and I was like, okay, 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:38.080 that's okay, that's that's good. 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:39.880 Did they send you the chair or you why? 0:00:39.960 --> 0:00:42.479 No, you can just use your own cheer. This is 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:46.120 defended by Latham anyway. So I was doing that for 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:48.800 three or four months. I did it twice, say yeah 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:51.000 looking good, Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it's nothing to do 0:00:51.080 --> 0:00:53.479 with the yoga app though, And so I've been doing 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:55.240 it for three or four months and then my wife 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:57.480 said to me, what the hell is this? 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:01.520 Eighty bucks a month for a yoga app? And I 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:02.040 was like what? 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:06.920 And so I've been paying eighty bucks a month for 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:08.400 a cheer yoga app. 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:09.200 That I didn't even use. 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:12.400 For someone to tell you what a chair. It was ridiculous. 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:15.520 As Atkinson comes in again full and dug out by 0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:18.520 lath And they'll get another couple here as it beats 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:18.959 a man. 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:22.360 At mid ONN So are the runs flowing at the moment. 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:24.240 I don't know why, Jas, but I just feel like 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.480 you're the kind of guy who would sign up for 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:29.840 a lot of apps and probably get lurid into that 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:33.520 idea that you get the first month free, but then 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:36.920 you give them your credit card and then after the 0:01:36.920 --> 0:01:38.280 first month they charge you. 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:39.800 But you would have forgotten that you've. 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:41.479 Given them the credit card, and you don't know how 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:44.039 to unsubscribe. You don't know how to unsubscribe, so you 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:45.880 just sign up for everything because you think it's free, 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:47.199 but then it ends up costing you. 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:49.040 Well, am I right? 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.120 Probably paying two thousand dollars a month on apps? Yeah? 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:57.600 I probably am I. This says driven beautifully by length 0:01:57.600 --> 0:01:59.640 and but straight to the man at CAPA, I didn't 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:01.640 have a on You know how you do that you 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:05.400 scan the QR codes, and I didn't have one on 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.080 my phone, so. 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:11.160 So you download you bought one. I bought one online. 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:16.520 Online, a QR code scanner, and cost me one hundred 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:20.720 and eighty bucks. That was I know, It's just think 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:24.160 what I probably would have been a month and keys 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:27.280 he said to me, it costs you one hundred and 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:28.040 eighty bucks. 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:30.359 Jase, you've got one on your phone, you idiot. 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:32.240 So yeah, I probably. 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:35.440 Spend about two and a half k on unwanted apps. Well, 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:39.160 you know, case in point, the meteor app. It's not 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:41.120 even a weather app. I mean it tells me where 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:42.440 the meteors are going to hit out. 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.160 And once you know it's in three and a half 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:46.040 thousand years, you don't need to check it again. 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:47.960 With exactly it's going to be three and a half 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:48.760 thousand years. 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:50.400 You don't check it every week to see if it's 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:51.400 only coming closer. 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:54.600 You know, I think exactly in a situation, Jase, you've 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:56.360 got to get rid of all your credit cards because 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.440 that means all your subscriptions will automatically stop, yes, and 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.560 then they'll email you straight away your email than minutes, 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:04.079 and then you can work out the ones that you 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:06.360 want the ones that you don't. 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.519 When you leave your credit card, it's great, wakes to Williamson. 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:11.360 Just outside of the off stump. He leaves alone. 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:13.919 There's no run and you see these apps. You had 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:18.840 no idea what they are. You know, Asian hearties, top couple. 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.960 You know it's ridiculous. You know where did they how 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:23.280 did they jump onto you? 0:03:23.639 --> 0:03:25.200 Is there an Asian Holly app? 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:27.440 Is it just an example? 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:36.280 So New Zealand currently fourth on the World Test Championship standings, 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:42.480 England haven't got a hope in hell of getting anywhere 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:42.880 at the moment. 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:48.680 Woke by Williamson just fall short of the man at 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:52.160 third slap. It's just sort of a length again and 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:54.280 it was a loose shot from Williamson. 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:57.320 Wokes has really settled onto a good line and linked 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:59.680 to Williamson the right handle, which is interesting. He's played 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:02.040 in Miss a couple of times. That was a beautiful delivery, 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:04.640 a little bit shorter and Williamson on the back foot, 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:07.520 but it nipped away a bit, didn't it soft enough 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:10.720 hands to make it drop before for slip? 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:13.760 It's still too short in my view, Jerry, Yeah, I 0:04:13.760 --> 0:04:19.200 think you're right, Jay, it's just a fraction and I 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:23.359 think you know this is defeated again by Williams. And 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.359 if I had Asian hotties as an app, my wife 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:27.520 would probably notice that. 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:29.520 Yeah, they knew notice that much. 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:32.560 Be like, why am I what's this? 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:35.159 One hundred and fifty bucks for Asian hotties on this, 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:36.440 you know I had I. 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:37.800 Had a nap which is more of a sort of 0:04:38.960 --> 0:04:41.720 explain it, and again I didn't like it. Came it's 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:45.120 called Asian driver. Nothing so right I'm driving. It will 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:50.159 sense where an Asian driver is around me, right, so 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:52.839 you might say turn left, turn right in it will 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:55.599 take me towards Asian drivers. 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:59.600 Or you can set it so you're gonna you're gonna 0:04:59.600 --> 0:05:03.560 have it in a avoidance setting or are coming together settings? 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:08.160 Exactly right, yes, once again. 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:12.080 Too short by Wokes and this is left alone outside 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:14.280 the up stump, not challenging to the batsman at all. 0:05:14.360 --> 0:05:21.240 Can set it to dating or dating setting or crash 0:05:21.279 --> 0:05:23.120 avoidances up to you. 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:27.400 Whatever you choose, we'll both Yeah. 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:30.760 Yeah, useful air piece, you say, can you share that 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:31.120 with me? 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:38.440 No third umpire, no rewinds, just raw dog commentary. This 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:41.520 is the alternative commentary collective. 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:45.560 Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders. At Rasin. 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:48.680 Looks like he bawls the heavy foot. 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.080 He's already dug up a bit of a dividend there, 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:53.840 bowler's end. 0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:58.440 Here he comes bride and cast upon three slips. That's 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:01.719 a bit of delivery. It's full angle into middle and off. 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:04.120 It's been about four extras so far in this match. 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:10.320 If I'm just looking at my brain, are you looking 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:15.040 at your brain? Well? I tend to, you know, it's 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:16.839 I'm visualized. I see my brain working. 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:18.680 He sort of look at your brain and a way, 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:19.320 don't you ye. 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:25.920 Great when you're steamed, because it's it's like watching it's 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:27.560 like going to a core Play concert. 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:34.760 It just cuts Williams forces him back when some jumps 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:37.560 on the crease, guides that to cover point for a single. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:38.719 He's off the mark, came Williams. 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.040 He's taken them fourteen balls. 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:44.280 That's Lee. I know you're a big cold Play fan, 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:46.039 and you mentioned the concert twice I think when they 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:49.159 were here, and that's all the wristbands here. I know 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.160 you went as well with the kids. Imagine everybody that 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.919 leeducated all those things at one time. What a should 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:55.640 show that would have been? 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:57.679 Could someone have hacked the system? 0:06:57.720 --> 0:06:59.560 Talking about by the Israelis. 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:04.359 Or the or the Iranians for that matter, Mossad. 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:07.760 So what he's saying is everyone's probably not the right 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:10.320 format for that chat, but it's it's worth you know, 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:15.600 it's worth discussion. Lath and monstrike. 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:18.680 He's on thirty two, facing cars coming over the wicket 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:22.800 edges through the vacant fourth slip region and that all 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:25.920 race their way for four. It's a good delivery from cars, 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:30.560 head Latham driving in a little bit of extra bounce, 0:07:30.560 --> 0:07:33.160 a little movement away, a little bit lucky thrown Latham. 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:35.680 I think I'm just weary of technology. I think I 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:37.720 think that's the thing. Just you know, how far is 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:40.880 it going to go? Anyone's locked in on these wristbands 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:42.720 that light up at the same time with the music. 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:44.480 You know, I don't want to be controlled on that. 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:46.640 Yeah, I'm with you on that. 0:07:46.720 --> 0:07:49.400 I don't want to be controlled by Elon Musk or 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:50.119 anyone else. 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:53.400 Was that who was controlling? 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:55.680 Was it? Think he controls everything? 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:55.800 Now? 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.760 He was like in a DJ booth, this is short 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:02.040 from cars and let them swayze out of the way. 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:04.640 So on thirty six Williamson's one New Zealand forty three 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:05.840 for one after team, I. 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:08.520 Mean, what's the worst you can do hacking into fifty 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.320 thousand people's electric wristbands? 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:13.120 What's the capability of those ristbands? Kill everybody? 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.960 And welcome to the starting there is. 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:21.840 I wonder who that was? That was someone on the 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:27.480 rival broadcast TV and Z. It's called a fanbassador. I 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:31.000 like that, Yes, yes, fanbassador. 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:33.400 Good lucking man. 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:49.520 Speaking of crowd technology that can be deployed to enhanced 0:08:49.679 --> 0:08:53.320 viewing experience. Can can you get groundeers New Zealand grounds 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:55.319 where you can tune into the commentary. 0:08:54.920 --> 0:08:57.600 Because that's something waiting to happen. Why don't we have 0:08:57.640 --> 0:08:58.280 that huge. 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:01.040 To have that with the ACC we had some terrible 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:04.360 problems with. 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:05.800 With that and we were pioneers on the wrong side 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:07.320 of history with that technology. 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:12.319 Is Williamson facing Wikes. It's full and straight and played 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:14.040 with a straight back by Williamson. 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:15.560 No run, but yeah, it was that. I think the 0:09:15.559 --> 0:09:18.680 problem with how grand is if I remember rightly, I 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:20.560 know what match it was. But the problem with our 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.760 grand is they were playing the match previous, you know, 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:26.480 to the match that people were watching, because you know 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:29.000 they weren't we're actually playing last week's match. What's the 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:30.160 kind of pointless. 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:30.960 We just put our best foot forward. 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:32.640 We thought it was some of our best works, so 0:09:32.920 --> 0:09:35.400 you didn't realize the audience really wanted live common. 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:37.600 Try get to for one and get this game and 0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:38.360 last week's game. 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:39.640 I mean we're an in statement product. 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.360 I'm pretty sure the story of that features in the 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:44.199 a SEC Almanac. 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.400 Mounting Yeah out now. Of course they're all good bookstores. 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:51.559 Worke's boiling with four slips in a galley, comes into Williamson, 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:55.240 who's own one. This one seems backstrokes Williamson on the 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:57.960 pad and there's no run. I think our first ever 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:04.920 broadcast with those years and the ground years, someone accidentally 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:07.640 tuned in and they got the I think they thought 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.440 they were getting possibly the rady in New Zealand broadcast 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:12.920 and I think Lee you were describing there was a 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.720 complaint made to the Broadcasting Standards Authority. You were describing 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:20.400 how you'd buried your dead cat in the Upfield park. 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:25.880 It's a true story, of course. But there's Wokes again, 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:29.760 and there's time. It's let go by Williamson. You pay 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:32.439 for your ground is. That's maybe not what you signed 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:32.760 up for. 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:38.040 I don't know we would call it bonus footage, bonus audio, 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.360 but hey, you know, ish their own. 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:43.520 Sometimes you'd see people who were who were where in 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.400 the ground is and they were reasonably close to the caravan. 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:49.679 You could tell that they'd accidentally purchased them and they 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:51.319 didn't purchase them because they were listening to us, and 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:52.560 you just watch their faces. 0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:55.920 You were delivering lines. You see someone vomiting sometimes. 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:02.360 Well ebsent on one facing Wokes, it's full. Williamson resists 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:05.000 the big drive, just defends it with soft hands to Gully, 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:06.400 no run forty three for one. 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:09.680 The incident you're referring to, gentlemen, is of course preserved 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:13.319 for posterity in the ACC Almanac, which is out now. 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:16.000 And it was a letter that came in from Barry. 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.240 I think of Takabooner for memory, who had got the 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.640 ground is very excited. Was expecting I think, I guess 0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:26.120 you'd call the mainstream commentary got the ACC instead. But 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:28.960 what was remarkable is that he remembered so much of 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:31.959 the detail of what we were talking about, which I'll 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:32.640 take money through. 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:37.280 In the minute works again, Sir Williamson defends watchfully off 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:38.439 the front foot no run. 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:41.199 So Barry said, there was a ten to fifteen minute 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:43.920 slot where one commentator was obsessed with the different types 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:47.200 of protective cricket boxes and continue to talk about the 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.720 intricate details of that part of the male anatomy protected. 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:54.240 Then there was an account of taking a cat to 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:57.440 eaton park, with the suggestion by another commentator that this 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.600 could have been useful to smuggle a bottle of vodka 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:00.480 up at anus. 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:08.680 I remember that, well Is Williamson on one face quote 0:12:09.200 --> 0:12:10.600 goes backs down there. 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:11.880 That sounds stupid now, But it's all. 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:15.079 About context, that's right, I mean, And that's not really that, 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.160 that's not the key part. The fact is we went on, 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.800 we explored that option that led to a description this 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:23.400 is barrier talking of how the cat was buried under 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.280 the Eden Park turf and opened up into a full 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:28.840 discussion of how to dispose of human remains, with an 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:32.040 account of how one commentated disposed of his stepfather's ashes. 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.960 Listeners were then invited to talk about how they had disposed. 0:12:35.520 --> 0:12:36.559 Of ashes. 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:41.200 Those of the glory days, you know. 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:44.959 They really were Actually this is classic casey see. 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.120 Then there were comments on the smallness of Trent Bolt's mouth, 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:51.520 with a suggestion that his mother probably had small nipples, 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:54.640 followed by discussion on one of the Australian players being 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:58.560 a lesbian. This is a barrier of tacaparity, and we 0:12:58.600 --> 0:13:00.640 went on to conclude a product like this which is 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:04.880 officially sponsored by New Zealand cricket brings your organization and 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:06.439 the game into some serious disrepute. 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:07.760 I'm just peace to call it a product. 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:16.160 Yeah, boundary pushing commentary with no pets. This is the 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:18.800 alternative commentary collective. 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:22.720 Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders Atrazine. 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:26.520 I wasn't likely. I preferred not to have a full erection. 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:33.280 I would go sei, yeah, because I always I always 0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:36.040 felt a semi is more impressive and less intimidated, or 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:39.880 a semi is more attractive than a full rager. 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.800 And please forgive me if this is asking too much, 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.880 jas I'm just trying to get a mental image circumcised. 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:51.080 Yes so, but the you know, but if you had 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:54.480 a full erection is suggesting Jason limits some of your shots. 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:55.000 It does. 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.640 Well, that's actually what stopped me from going out with 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:02.000 a full erection. I tried to play a non drive 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:06.280 one day and nearly snapped it in half armed. So yeah, 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:07.880 that was that was a lesson learned. 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:11.440 And is the physio offer their services when you do 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:12.360 get an abrasion. 0:14:12.480 --> 0:14:16.440 It brought out the magic spray, which just makes it worse, 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:19.360 makes it worse, actually stiffens it up a bit. 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:24.280 That's got any magic spray floating around the studio. Do 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:26.640 we wouldn't mind a we spray on the downstairs. Just 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:27.600 want to rate myself. 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:29.200 Yeah, well you've gotta be careful the first time to 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:30.720 do it. You might just blow your bone. 0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:46.200 It's been done before, beautiful day Christ your fool. 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:46.680 Look at that. 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:47.720 That's magnificent. 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.800 Is ack and some cums and bowls to ratching outside 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:51.440 the off stump. 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.720 And it is the same pogitical game. I remember you 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:56.680 used to go out as you say, no box aren't 0:14:56.720 --> 0:15:01.040 clearly with an erection semi probably your case, but with 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:05.680 the box taped to your head, yes, helmet suggesting this 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:07.480 is how I'm going to play. So how he bolt 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:09.119 he bowlders among. 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:11.800 That exactly exactly confused the bowler. 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:13.360 And would you wear it sort of over your nose 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.640 and mouth like a bay on my forehead like a rhino. 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:22.840 Yeah, you've got to be back in the day that 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:24.480 the helmets wasn't such a big thing. 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:26.680 No, it wasn't so no helmet it was. 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:29.000 It was frowned upon if you wore a helmet back 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:35.200 in the day. Atkinson now comes into ratchet Revenger who 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.200 hingles the bat and beats the man at gully with 0:15:38.280 --> 0:15:39.920 the miss field actually and they'll get a single. 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:42.000 So just to get this correct, so it's frowned upon 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:44.360 to wear a helmet, but walking out with a full 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:47.160 or semi erexed penis and a box strapped your head, 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:49.560 that was that was Koshit exactly. 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.360 Right, It's exactly that's exactly how it was. 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.520 We're looking at some of these ideas through the black caps. 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:02.680 That's old school stuff. You say that now and people 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.440 go they don't believe it, But that's that's how it 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:04.880 used to be. 0:16:05.120 --> 0:16:09.680 Absolutely, you were never worried about copping one on the 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:10.160 end of the dob. 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.560 Well, this is the point. If you don't have a 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.440 box on, you're you're less likely, if you know what 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:17.960 i mean. If you've got a helmet on, you're less 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:19.400 you're more likely to take one in the head than 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:22.040 if you don't. You know what I'm saying. You get 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:22.600 out of the way. 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:26.640 Atkinson outside the off stump to Williamson, no run it 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:31.600 and it Tony. It portrays to the bowler when you're 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:34.720 out there with a full erection, I'm confident. 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:35.520 You're not going to hit my erection. 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:40.240 Yeah, that's how good my batting is I'm coming out 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:43.920 here with a full erection. Yeah, and it's let's be frank, 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:44.760 a big target and. 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:47.560 Puts them off their line. They start bowling at it, 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:49.080 and that's the last thing that says done. 0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:50.800 Yeah, you're just tucking it off your hip. 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:52.440 Then it's a red rag to a ball. I can 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.840 see that now, no glove. 0:16:55.080 --> 0:17:01.320 Just bear knuckle broadcasting. This is the alternative Jerry collective. 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:05.240 Oh, thanks to the great New Zealanders at resume. 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:10.159 You know, there was a very strange situation when we 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:12.640 were at commentary school. Wasn't there LEAs cast comes in again, 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:15.200 goes to Mitchell, tickles it away behind square, I think 0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:17.600 about two, but it's not there. 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:18.800 And it was. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.160 It was Brian Waddell and Jeremy Coney who were our 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:29.640 teachers at commentary schools, And well, let's just say that 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:32.679 Brian Model was doing something to Jeremy Coney that was 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.680 very difficult for him to commentate while he was doing. 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:39.160 It's his mouth was full. 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:45.280 Of Jeremy Coney actually a part of Jeremy Coney anyway, 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:47.880 and really proved the point. 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:54.679 To us coming what the point was? Though, why do 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:56.800 you remember that day? Though? I think then we break 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:01.199 for lunchon we in the afternoon, we now afternoon. I 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:06.920 think We've talked about microphone technique and what I've learned. 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.080 You know, just because you've gone to commentary school, you've 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:12.120 got a degree in commentary, doesn't mean you're a good commentator. 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:13.720 That really annoys me that you get these people that 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:17.359 come through that you know, because they've got a degree 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.680 in commentary, they think a good commentator is they're not. 0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:23.720 You know, it doesn't give you the right to be 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:24.440 a top commentator. 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:26.400 No, it's somethings you learn on the job. Like Glane's 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:28.360 maybe do that to him countless times on the call 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:29.000 for no reason. 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:30.800 It's car sicking in three slips. 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:34.199 Right, there's Williamson going back and rising and guiding it 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:35.920 to the first of the second gullies. 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:40.080 The main thing I learned from commentary school is schedules. 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:44.760 I mean, if they say can you do commentary on Thursday, 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:48.320 and go no, not up, but how I'm good for 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:52.120 Wednesday And they say, well, the test doesn't start till Thursday, 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:53.480 and then you go, well, it's not good to me. 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:56.760 So you've got to fit in with what's happening with 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:59.320 the game. And that's the first thing you learn, and 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.359 it's that simple. And once you learn that, it's a 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:03.919 lot easier you stop ringing up and saying, look, I'm 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:06.040 not available, or can you change it? You know. 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:11.760 Yeah, there's been carless days here at the AC studio 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:13.920 where I have come in for various reasons and seeing 0:19:13.960 --> 0:19:16.120 you here sort of looking around saying when are we commentating? 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:17.480 And I have to say, you know, there's no test 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:18.280 this month. 0:19:18.560 --> 0:19:19.119 That's no good to me. 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:19.920 Can in the middle of winter? 0:19:20.000 --> 0:19:21.640 Can't we pre record my bits? Yeah? 0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:25.080 Time later before a super rugby ficture. Perhaps we'll be 0:19:25.080 --> 0:19:27.960 here seven o'clock on a Saturday night. She's about play 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:30.080 the Highlands and you're walking, you know, ready for a 0:19:30.080 --> 0:19:31.040 credit commentary. 0:19:31.040 --> 0:19:33.439 I'm just doing carlor stuff. Anyway, it's not going to change. 0:19:33.560 --> 0:19:35.600 I can pre record that. Whack it in there. 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:37.680 Later we could get a button bar with just some 0:19:38.600 --> 0:19:41.480 lee Hart chat help with fire off any stage. To 0:19:41.480 --> 0:19:42.760 be honest, this conversation could be. 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:44.440