WEBVTT - Nathan Wallis: Mindfulness combats anxiety and depression 0:00:05.761 --> 0:00:10.201 You're listening to the Weekend Collective podcast from News TALKSB. 0:00:14.321 --> 0:00:14.721 Told me. 0:00:23.001 --> 0:00:24.121 I want to see. 0:00:27.041 --> 0:00:29.961 Let's welcome back. Were welcome into the Weekend Collective. This 0:00:30.161 --> 0:00:30.881 is the Parents Squad. 0:00:30.921 --> 0:00:32.681 By the way, if you missed any of our previous hours, 0:00:32.681 --> 0:00:34.161 we had a Pete Wolf camp and I are in 0:00:34.201 --> 0:00:36.481 Gardner on for our panel. You can go check that 0:00:36.561 --> 0:00:39.361 out on our website. Look news Talk, said B. Just 0:00:39.361 --> 0:00:42.241 look for the Weekend Collective on iHeartRadio and likewise interesting 0:00:42.321 --> 0:00:44.001 chat with de Wi Roberts are just about the art 0:00:44.001 --> 0:00:46.721 of negotiation and a few good stories there for the 0:00:46.881 --> 0:00:50.361 for the one roof radio show. Anyway, right now, as 0:00:50.401 --> 0:00:54.041 I say, it's the Parents Squad and joining me is 0:00:54.241 --> 0:00:56.921 season euro Science Educator. It's a name that's known to 0:00:56.961 --> 0:01:00.161 many many Kiwis or many of many parents around the country. 0:01:00.241 --> 0:01:05.281 Nathan Wallace today, Yes you too. 0:01:06.081 --> 0:01:07.001 It looks I. 0:01:07.001 --> 0:01:09.441 Don't know if we're on a zoom meeting you and 0:01:09.481 --> 0:01:11.281 I and it looks like is it about foggy out 0:01:11.281 --> 0:01:13.721 the back there through your window instead of sitting an 0:01:13.801 --> 0:01:14.521 artwork or something. 0:01:14.681 --> 0:01:17.281 No, it's an illusion. It's an illusion. It's a that's 0:01:17.321 --> 0:01:21.201 a picture rather than an actual window window. 0:01:22.801 --> 0:01:23.841 It has confused me. 0:01:25.241 --> 0:01:31.241 When you come on, you look like a young Jeene Hackman. Ah, yeah, 0:01:31.401 --> 0:01:33.601 that's what Zoom is doing today. 0:01:35.281 --> 0:01:36.801 I have had that one before. 0:01:36.961 --> 0:01:41.081 I think I will go with that someone you know, Yeah, yeah, 0:01:41.681 --> 0:01:43.361 the late Jean Heckman. Actually, now I think of it, 0:01:43.401 --> 0:01:46.441 isn't that that's right? Because that's why I died recently. 0:01:46.921 --> 0:01:48.801 Sitting in a few days apart from his wife was 0:01:49.081 --> 0:01:49.721 very mysterious. 0:01:49.761 --> 0:01:51.761 Yeah, he has avent sure, I think, and his wife 0:01:51.801 --> 0:01:55.121 died and if he wandered around for a week, oh gosh, 0:01:55.521 --> 0:01:56.361 had the capacity of. 0:01:56.281 --> 0:01:58.121 Like a twelve month old so and then he died. 0:01:58.921 --> 0:02:01.521 Yeah, it was pretty good. I'm actually gosh. 0:02:01.961 --> 0:02:04.841 Hey, we now, we'd love to hear from you if 0:02:04.881 --> 0:02:08.041 you've any questions or some stories you'd like to share 0:02:08.041 --> 0:02:10.521 on with dealing with meltdowns with your kids. I know 0:02:10.521 --> 0:02:12.521 eight one hundred eighty ten eighty or text nine two 0:02:12.601 --> 0:02:17.081 nine two. And look, I don't share too much about 0:02:17.721 --> 0:02:20.961 my own kids for their own privacy sake, but obviously 0:02:21.161 --> 0:02:25.961 every child that's ever ever been well has the capacity 0:02:26.081 --> 0:02:29.641 to have the meltdown and be unreasonable, no matter no 0:02:29.681 --> 0:02:32.161 matter how wonderful they are in every other aspect of 0:02:32.201 --> 0:02:37.681 their lives. But some of it's tied with anxiety. Some 0:02:37.761 --> 0:02:40.761 of it's just tied with pubany kids asserting their independence. 0:02:41.561 --> 0:02:43.201 Yep, some of it's completely natural. 0:02:43.441 --> 0:02:48.361 Yeah, let's start on the anxiety side of things, because. 0:02:48.161 --> 0:02:50.441 It seems to be a word that packs up all 0:02:50.521 --> 0:02:53.681 the time, doesn't it? Know, Nathan that I. 0:02:53.681 --> 0:02:55.601 Mean, I often do tell stories about my kids, but 0:02:55.641 --> 0:02:58.041 the way I get around the privacy issues, I don't 0:02:58.041 --> 0:03:00.601 mention which kid it is. It's pretty hard to do this, 0:03:00.881 --> 0:03:03.681 you know, like I say a child, So that's not 0:03:03.961 --> 0:03:06.081 saying which one it is because it's I'm hard to 0:03:06.081 --> 0:03:07.881 do it without you know, pulling on your own experience. 0:03:08.281 --> 0:03:12.441 Well so, yeah, I mean, but okay, just on the 0:03:12.441 --> 0:03:15.441 anxiety side of things, how how are we doing with 0:03:15.561 --> 0:03:16.441 kids in anxiety? 0:03:17.441 --> 0:03:21.041 Has this generation of kids got more anxiety? And why 0:03:21.161 --> 0:03:22.681 is it? Or are we just more aware? 0:03:23.841 --> 0:03:26.721 I mean skyrocketing amounts, you know, hundreds of percent, like 0:03:26.721 --> 0:03:30.761 three hundred percent more so it's absolutely there. Are they 0:03:30.761 --> 0:03:33.601 pre wired for anxiety? Yes they are, but so were we. 0:03:33.961 --> 0:03:36.761 Everybody's pre wide for anxiety. You have to sort of 0:03:36.961 --> 0:03:39.361 it's like that's the default mode, and then you've got 0:03:39.361 --> 0:03:41.041 to have all these sort of layers on top of 0:03:41.081 --> 0:03:43.521 it to calm you down your survival as the prime director. 0:03:43.721 --> 0:03:45.961 So that's about being anxious. So then you have all 0:03:45.961 --> 0:03:49.281 your needs met and and you calm that. So, I mean, 0:03:49.601 --> 0:03:51.841 what I'm saying is that there's no different biology with 0:03:51.881 --> 0:03:56.001 these kids. And you know, because generally take thousands of 0:03:56.041 --> 0:03:59.041 years to change, so they've got the same genetic predisposition 0:03:59.081 --> 0:04:01.921 as us, but they face a very different world. You know, 0:04:02.241 --> 0:04:05.721 Like in the space of thirty years, we've gone from 0:04:05.761 --> 0:04:09.041 having mainly one parent was a home for the first 0:04:09.081 --> 0:04:11.761 five years of life, eighty percent of people lived. Eighty 0:04:11.761 --> 0:04:13.441 percent of people lived in the same community as their 0:04:13.481 --> 0:04:16.641 extended family, so that there was aunties and grandparents. Grandmothers 0:04:16.641 --> 0:04:18.361 didn't work thirty years ago, so you know, we had 0:04:18.481 --> 0:04:22.001 a full time grandparent kids. People tended to stay in 0:04:22.001 --> 0:04:23.361 one area a whole lot. More so the kids on 0:04:23.441 --> 0:04:24.961 knew each other in the neighborhood and the parents knew 0:04:24.961 --> 0:04:27.641 each other, and the kids have fear fear of freedom. 0:04:27.961 --> 0:04:30.161 Now now most kids are in a childcare center. Before 0:04:30.201 --> 0:04:30.801 the age of one. 0:04:31.001 --> 0:04:33.201 Only twenty percent of people live in the area of 0:04:33.241 --> 0:04:35.401 their extended family. But I'm not trying to depress people 0:04:35.401 --> 0:04:37.521 and make people feel guilty. It's just saying the reality is. 0:04:37.961 --> 0:04:40.401 The reality is that the rapid change that they've gone through, 0:04:40.521 --> 0:04:43.121 they've taken away to the village. They now we find 0:04:43.441 --> 0:04:48.401 sixty kids into what used to be a backyard. And yeah, 0:04:48.521 --> 0:04:50.761 it's just there's a lot of change for kids to 0:04:50.801 --> 0:04:53.801 cope with. And I think it's natural that they get anxiety. 0:04:54.521 --> 0:04:56.481 I mean it's added to things by people think it's 0:04:56.481 --> 0:05:00.041 like PlayStation and Facebook, and certainly screens and social media 0:05:00.121 --> 0:05:02.161 do play a part in that. But I think if 0:05:02.201 --> 0:05:05.801 we had I had taken away our grandmothers and you know, 0:05:06.201 --> 0:05:09.081 extended family and most of us had in our home 0:05:09.121 --> 0:05:11.281 here and until we were like you know, out of 0:05:11.321 --> 0:05:15.801 high school. Yeah, yeah, you can't really underestimate how much 0:05:15.841 --> 0:05:18.001 those things really add to resilience. I mean, it's not 0:05:18.041 --> 0:05:19.601 all doing with Glennoi. There are things we can do 0:05:19.681 --> 0:05:22.801 to compensate that. Yeah, this generator of kids are amazing. 0:05:23.321 --> 0:05:27.121 Part of that having anxiety is there actually a little 0:05:27.121 --> 0:05:30.201 bit more emotional intelligent than we were. They so they 0:05:30.241 --> 0:05:32.641 labeled their emotionals. You know, that's what's not all of it, 0:05:32.681 --> 0:05:35.001 but some of us there I'm a labeling. 0:05:35.361 --> 0:05:38.481 I'm almost relieved that the conversation hasn't gone straight to 0:05:38.561 --> 0:05:43.841 social media and devices and things, because I mean, look, 0:05:44.321 --> 0:05:47.361 we've got plenty of problems with addictions to devices. 0:05:47.721 --> 0:05:51.121 But I look at it. Look, I look at my kids, 0:05:51.161 --> 0:05:51.561 and look what. 0:05:51.601 --> 0:05:54.321 They don't have Facebook accounts yet they're twelve and forteen 0:05:54.401 --> 0:05:57.441 years old. There's no Facebook, there's no Instagram. But I look, 0:05:57.761 --> 0:06:00.601 but I look at the way that they and you 0:06:00.641 --> 0:06:02.921 know we I've got a limit on our youngest one's time. 0:06:02.961 --> 0:06:04.481 I don't know how we managed the older one because 0:06:04.481 --> 0:06:06.401 she's on an Apple. I can't control our Apple. That 0:06:06.401 --> 0:06:09.481 that's another topical drives me nuts. I low the apple. 0:06:10.841 --> 0:06:12.641 But I noticed that. 0:06:12.521 --> 0:06:15.921 The way that they communicate with their friends using WhatsApp, 0:06:16.761 --> 0:06:21.121 I actually am not okay. They're not on TikTok either, Okay, 0:06:21.321 --> 0:06:27.121 but I know they just seem to use those those 0:06:27.161 --> 0:06:29.361 methods of communicating with their friends in a way that 0:06:29.521 --> 0:06:33.761 doesn't actually bother me as much as they seem to 0:06:33.801 --> 0:06:34.921 be coping with it. 0:06:34.921 --> 0:06:36.641 Better surprise me, you know. 0:06:37.401 --> 0:06:39.801 Because it's told me that they've come from a house 0:06:39.921 --> 0:06:41.801 where you've moderated their screen time. 0:06:41.841 --> 0:06:45.881 They haven't just been free for all. So they've learned those. 0:06:45.721 --> 0:06:47.521 Other things you do when you're not on a screen, 0:06:47.561 --> 0:06:50.441 communication skills and stuff. So half of it will be 0:06:50.481 --> 0:06:52.721 that you've raised responsible kids that have got boundaries around 0:06:52.761 --> 0:06:55.001 their stuff alreally, so they're already using it with boundaries, 0:06:55.281 --> 0:06:55.921 And the other. 0:06:55.761 --> 0:06:57.841 Half will be that that's the stuff they're letting you see. 0:06:58.121 --> 0:06:59.841 You know, if they really hit full time access to 0:06:59.881 --> 0:07:02.321 them run it all the time, and the reality is 0:07:02.361 --> 0:07:06.161 they do start delving into your so they wouldn't want 0:07:06.241 --> 0:07:08.001 us to see oftentimes. 0:07:08.001 --> 0:07:11.361 Well, I mean I sometimes wonder whether it's the older 0:07:11.401 --> 0:07:14.361 generation have had problems with addictions to computers and stuff 0:07:14.401 --> 0:07:16.601 because we grew up without it and all of a sudden, 0:07:16.641 --> 0:07:18.841 I mean, anyone can get addicted to this ste but 0:07:18.921 --> 0:07:19.841 that's getting away from it. 0:07:19.881 --> 0:07:23.481 Really, it's all about how it underwarks the sense of reality. 0:07:23.681 --> 0:07:26.081 Like the issue was social media, like you know that 0:07:26.281 --> 0:07:29.241 in their research, the issue is with comparison to others 0:07:29.681 --> 0:07:32.001 and not knowing the difference between reality and what they 0:07:32.001 --> 0:07:35.321 see online. They're forming their vision of reality with what 0:07:35.361 --> 0:07:38.841 they're seeing online and that's making up their normal. And 0:07:39.361 --> 0:07:41.481 so interestingly, all we have to do is have a 0:07:41.481 --> 0:07:44.961 conversation with them as parents. That's that's that you know, 0:07:45.001 --> 0:07:48.561 like if you say to your kids, you know, social 0:07:48.561 --> 0:07:51.441 media pictures adopted, that's say, you know, people put forward 0:07:51.481 --> 0:07:53.921 their best foot, they want their lives to look better 0:07:53.921 --> 0:07:54.481 than other people's. 0:07:54.481 --> 0:07:55.801 That's not what real people look like. 0:07:56.041 --> 0:07:56.241 You know. 0:07:56.281 --> 0:07:58.561 That's taking one hundred four days and put that one ahead, 0:07:58.921 --> 0:07:59.601 just letting them know. 0:07:59.921 --> 0:08:02.401 It's the same with pornography. If the parents have a 0:08:02.401 --> 0:08:06.081 conversation so you realize that pornography, that's not what real 0:08:06.121 --> 0:08:06.561 sex is. 0:08:06.601 --> 0:08:08.401 Like, women don't really do that. 0:08:08.561 --> 0:08:10.801 That's you know, made by men. As long as you 0:08:10.841 --> 0:08:12.841 have the conversation that tells them is different and it's 0:08:12.881 --> 0:08:15.281 not real, it seems really you need to do. It's 0:08:15.281 --> 0:08:17.561 the parents that don't talk about it and assume their 0:08:17.601 --> 0:08:20.801 kids aren't doing it or avoid the conversation that those 0:08:20.881 --> 0:08:23.321 kids get a warped perception of reality and they do 0:08:23.361 --> 0:08:25.721 start to believe it's real. And that's what causes the anxiety. 0:08:25.761 --> 0:08:28.721 You know, the comparison to others and there's warp sense 0:08:28.761 --> 0:08:29.281 of reality. 0:08:30.281 --> 0:08:33.361 So on the anxiety thing there'll be, I mean, it 0:08:33.441 --> 0:08:37.321 crops up. Sometimes we look at what previous generations have 0:08:37.441 --> 0:08:40.601 gone through in terms of trauma. I mean, I guess 0:08:40.641 --> 0:08:42.721 my generation grew up thinking that we're all going to 0:08:42.721 --> 0:08:48.601 die in a nuclear explosion. It comes small circle. I mean, 0:08:48.721 --> 0:08:52.401 obviously we people will say, well, you know, people went 0:08:52.441 --> 0:08:55.041 through the Blitz and kids were sent away from London 0:08:55.041 --> 0:08:58.521 and stuff like that. But I sometimes wonder if what 0:08:58.521 --> 0:09:02.081 what's missing from those comparisons, as the acknowledgment actually kids 0:09:02.121 --> 0:09:04.961 were deeply traumatized by the stuff they went through. 0:09:05.121 --> 0:09:07.921 As if we survived, we did all right. I'm not 0:09:07.921 --> 0:09:09.081 sure by that. 0:09:09.961 --> 0:09:12.281 Yeah, I mean I said that these generation has got better, 0:09:12.361 --> 0:09:16.041 These generation has got more emotionally intelligent, more articulate, you know. 0:09:17.041 --> 0:09:20.281 So I think the change is every generation. You see 0:09:20.281 --> 0:09:23.321 the teenagers, you know, like there's bloody hieroglyphics on the 0:09:23.321 --> 0:09:25.601 side of the pyramids dated seven thousand years old to 0:09:25.641 --> 0:09:28.801 say this generation it's going to ruined civilization because they're 0:09:28.801 --> 0:09:32.161 also maybe you know, and it's just really what old 0:09:32.161 --> 0:09:34.041 people have seen are getting a time they see the 0:09:34.081 --> 0:09:37.041 new generation. There's lots of real when you look at 0:09:37.081 --> 0:09:39.921 the statistics, there's lots of very positive things about this generation. 0:09:39.961 --> 0:09:42.321 You know, there's certainly been more much you know, they 0:09:42.561 --> 0:09:45.641 they smoke less cigarettes, they do less drugs, they delay sex, 0:09:45.681 --> 0:09:48.401 they rag school, less. They just made every measure of 0:09:48.481 --> 0:09:52.121 you know, delinquent behavior. They do much better than previous generations. 0:09:52.281 --> 0:09:55.121 It's actually my generation Generation X, you know, anyone sort 0:09:55.121 --> 0:09:56.801 of forty five to sixty. 0:09:57.001 --> 0:09:57.561 We've got the. 0:09:59.081 --> 0:10:01.441 Crap the rules, and they had to comped all the 0:10:01.481 --> 0:10:05.881 sex and drunk or the alcohol. So I mean, that's 0:10:05.881 --> 0:10:08.041 the reality of just the statistics. But you know that 0:10:08.241 --> 0:10:10.881 these kids are I think part of it is like 0:10:10.881 --> 0:10:13.881 I said before, that they are more emotionally intelligent, you know, 0:10:13.961 --> 0:10:16.601 so they will say this was how I'm feeling, whereas 0:10:16.601 --> 0:10:18.561 we were in a courage to say how we were feeling. 0:10:18.841 --> 0:10:21.401 You know, when my daughter said to me, when one 0:10:21.441 --> 0:10:25.681 of my daughters, there's me and my daughters said to me, 0:10:26.441 --> 0:10:30.281 I've got anxiety, I like a normal generational experient, thought 0:10:30.281 --> 0:10:32.241 inside my head of bullshit, what do you got to 0:10:32.281 --> 0:10:39.321 have anxiety for a sweet, cruisy life? And well, I 0:10:39.361 --> 0:10:42.881 knew not to say that out loud, you know, yeah, 0:10:43.041 --> 0:10:45.761 I tell if your parenting courses. I knew not to 0:10:45.761 --> 0:10:47.761 say it, but in my head I thought not, but 0:10:47.801 --> 0:10:51.121 I know, not to discount their feelings. And it cut 0:10:51.161 --> 0:10:53.721 a long story short. I actually ended up coming full 0:10:53.761 --> 0:10:56.881 circle and realizing, oh, what she describes as anxiety. If 0:10:56.921 --> 0:10:59.641 I just described as normal getting ready for the worst thing. 0:11:00.081 --> 0:11:03.321 So basically I realized, well, I have anxiety. But I 0:11:03.561 --> 0:11:05.721 was a generation that thought to say, don't say you've 0:11:05.721 --> 0:11:08.521 got anxiety. It's a weakness. To say you've got something negative, 0:11:08.561 --> 0:11:12.121 it's a it is manifesting it. Whereas actually, what I 0:11:12.241 --> 0:11:14.321 learned is that when you say you've got anxiety and 0:11:14.361 --> 0:11:17.001 you start to do things about it, like I started yoga, 0:11:17.161 --> 0:11:19.561 and yeah, things have been so much better since then. 0:11:19.601 --> 0:11:21.921 I'm glad that identified it. It wasn't a weakness after all. 0:11:21.961 --> 0:11:24.281 It was a strength. And I think this generation is 0:11:24.321 --> 0:11:27.001 doing that. So we might see them as weaker because 0:11:27.041 --> 0:11:29.721 they're not hardening out, but you know, brand probably they're 0:11:29.721 --> 0:11:31.441 not as hard in some ways as the people that 0:11:32.161 --> 0:11:34.961 grow up in the depression, But in many ways they're 0:11:34.961 --> 0:11:37.561 harder because they, again, to grow up in the depression, 0:11:37.641 --> 0:11:39.881 usually have family around them. And you might have had 0:11:39.881 --> 0:11:41.441 all that hard stuff going on, but the family is 0:11:41.441 --> 0:11:42.921 the number one thing. It's pull I love for you, 0:11:43.001 --> 0:11:45.561 it's your connection. That's what it's all about being a human. 0:11:46.041 --> 0:11:48.281 What's the point hitting an Xbox I PlayStation in a 0:11:48.361 --> 0:11:51.041 flash house? So you know, when both parents a work. 0:11:51.041 --> 0:11:53.041 By the time you're won and you're day. Look, word, 0:11:53.041 --> 0:11:55.241 you probably around your extend of family and you're quite isolated. 0:11:55.521 --> 0:11:59.601 Yeah, so when you think of I mean, that's touched 0:12:00.121 --> 0:12:02.081 on a bunch of things for me because I think 0:12:02.121 --> 0:12:05.801 actually these days that we're surrounded by connect with people 0:12:05.841 --> 0:12:09.201 in a way with social media and technology, and yet 0:12:09.281 --> 0:12:11.601 I think that I think that we, many of us 0:12:11.601 --> 0:12:14.921 are lonelier than we've ever been in a way because 0:12:14.961 --> 0:12:21.481 the lack of genuine human connection. And are kids So okay, 0:12:22.001 --> 0:12:23.841 if we wind it back to what we first talked 0:12:23.841 --> 0:12:26.961 about that you know, the fact that there's only you know, 0:12:27.001 --> 0:12:29.041 we used to have one parent at home. You know, 0:12:29.041 --> 0:12:31.041 when we got home from school, Mum or dad was home. 0:12:31.401 --> 0:12:33.641 Let's be honest, it's mostly mum. 0:12:34.521 --> 0:12:36.881 How Look, life is the way it is. 0:12:37.761 --> 0:12:41.641 We now need to incomes generally to begin to afford house. 0:12:42.521 --> 0:12:47.801 So we're not winding that back. How what can we do? 0:12:47.841 --> 0:12:50.321 It's difficult to hear that stuff because parents are still 0:12:50.361 --> 0:12:52.081 guilty and go oh you know, and they have that 0:12:52.161 --> 0:12:54.921 defensive reactional I can't help, but my mind's not to 0:12:54.961 --> 0:12:56.761 make them feel bad about it, because you're right, even 0:12:56.921 --> 0:12:57.841 we can't do anything about it. 0:12:57.881 --> 0:12:59.001 That's the society that we live in. 0:12:59.241 --> 0:13:02.041 It's just acknowledging it so that we know that there's 0:13:02.041 --> 0:13:03.081 anything wrong with our kids. 0:13:03.081 --> 0:13:05.241 They're not particularly weak. They're not a bunch of us. 0:13:06.121 --> 0:13:08.281 It is understandable, you know what they're going through. And 0:13:08.681 --> 0:13:10.761 then the next question is, well, how do we compensate 0:13:10.761 --> 0:13:13.241 for that, because you any regeneration has to and there 0:13:13.281 --> 0:13:15.521 are clear ways of the literature that you can compensate 0:13:15.561 --> 0:13:16.001 for that. 0:13:16.361 --> 0:13:18.601 Are okay, give us a clue. 0:13:19.361 --> 0:13:22.801 We basically that everything's so rushed now. The opposite to 0:13:22.841 --> 0:13:25.841 being rush to slow everything down. The way your brain works. 0:13:26.001 --> 0:13:28.161 The faster you are, the more your stress brain is 0:13:28.201 --> 0:13:30.801 aroused to get the frontal cortext, the you know, the 0:13:30.841 --> 0:13:32.481 really good brain that's got all the flash stuff out 0:13:32.521 --> 0:13:35.201 like empathy and controlling your emotions and higher thought and 0:13:35.241 --> 0:13:37.281 all the good stuff. To get that, you've got to 0:13:37.321 --> 0:13:40.761 slow down. And so basically that's why meditation is such 0:13:40.761 --> 0:13:43.881 a big thing. You know, A mindfulness and schools are 0:13:43.921 --> 0:13:46.841 such a big topics. You know, look, thirty years ago, 0:13:46.881 --> 0:13:49.161 if you mentioned mindfulness just sounded like a hippie. You know, 0:13:49.161 --> 0:13:51.401 it didn't really have anything to do it academic learning, 0:13:51.801 --> 0:13:54.121 whereas now we understand that basically you think of your 0:13:54.161 --> 0:13:57.281 survival brain as being on a set of scales, you know, 0:13:57.281 --> 0:14:00.081 an old fashion set of scales with your learning brain, 0:14:00.201 --> 0:14:02.201 you know the front of cortex and your brain's set. 0:14:02.441 --> 0:14:04.281 So your survival brain do on a set of scales. 0:14:04.361 --> 0:14:06.721 It's the survival brain's aroused. Then you're not going to 0:14:06.721 --> 0:14:08.401 get access to their cortex. It's got all the good 0:14:08.401 --> 0:14:11.041 stuff and the ability to control your emotions and you know, 0:14:11.361 --> 0:14:15.601 all the adult things. So you know, we're basically living 0:14:15.601 --> 0:14:17.201 in a state that's arousing our brains see all the 0:14:17.201 --> 0:14:19.521 time when you add social media and screens and the 0:14:19.601 --> 0:14:23.681 rapid rate of information and change. So by doing something ritualize, 0:14:23.841 --> 0:14:26.841 like any sort of form of mindfulness where you stop 0:14:26.921 --> 0:14:30.481 and consciously slow down your breath and slow down and 0:14:30.481 --> 0:14:33.481 bring yourself into the present moment, really that's a bigger 0:14:33.601 --> 0:14:36.641 that's a big answer to mental illness because you know, 0:14:36.721 --> 0:14:40.161 to be less simplistic, anxiety is worrying about the future, 0:14:40.281 --> 0:14:43.361 depression is worrying about the past, and mindfulness as being 0:14:43.361 --> 0:14:45.521 in the present moment. So if you learn to be 0:14:45.521 --> 0:14:48.121 in the present moment, you can normally handle any problems 0:14:48.281 --> 0:14:51.521 here right now. It's worrying about future problems or overthinking 0:14:51.561 --> 0:14:55.561 past ones. So the practice of bringing yourself into a mindfulness, 0:14:55.561 --> 0:14:58.281 say of bringing the present moment, sets you up for 0:14:58.281 --> 0:14:59.801 good mental health the rest of your life and helps 0:14:59.841 --> 0:15:01.681 to compensate for the fact that you're living in such 0:15:01.681 --> 0:15:03.441 a world of rapid change. 0:15:03.881 --> 0:15:06.121 Because I think I've found that because of the hours 0:15:06.161 --> 0:15:08.801 I do, I'm lucky that I actually am around when 0:15:08.841 --> 0:15:11.561 my kids get home. I'll pack them up and things 0:15:11.601 --> 0:15:13.601 like that. But the thing that I think was probably 0:15:13.601 --> 0:15:18.441 the worst, well not the worst thing, but when I now, 0:15:18.481 --> 0:15:20.681 I don't try and do any work if I fucking 0:15:20.721 --> 0:15:22.641 avoid it. I make sure that I'm not doing any 0:15:22.681 --> 0:15:26.441 work when they get home, because otherwise I'm fifty percent present, 0:15:26.561 --> 0:15:29.321 you know, and then they stress, and then you're irritated 0:15:29.321 --> 0:15:30.641 because hang on, I just need to do that. 0:15:31.441 --> 0:15:36.601 Yeah, I've been there, Yes, having good boundaries around that day. Right, 0:15:36.681 --> 0:15:39.361 this is my work time, and I might have to say, right, kids, 0:15:39.681 --> 0:15:41.401 our dad's going to do this ray, but I'm going 0:15:41.441 --> 0:15:42.921 to be finished at six o'clock and then I'll be 0:15:42.961 --> 0:15:44.481 available for an hour and we'll do what you want 0:15:44.481 --> 0:15:46.481 to do. I mean, so much of It is about 0:15:46.521 --> 0:15:48.081 the type of play that you have with your kids too. 0:15:48.121 --> 0:15:50.601 If you let your kids be in charge of the play, 0:15:50.961 --> 0:15:52.801 you know, ten minutes of them being in charge, it's 0:15:52.841 --> 0:15:56.201 worth two hours of us playing with us, making the 0:15:56.281 --> 0:15:58.841 rules and telling them what to do. So it's about 0:15:58.841 --> 0:16:00.881 playing well as well use your time. 0:16:01.001 --> 0:16:03.121 It's interesting you're talking about the meditation thing because the 0:16:03.801 --> 0:16:05.961 school that my girls go to to a Catholic school. 0:16:05.961 --> 0:16:07.481 But this I think it's at the start of the 0:16:07.561 --> 0:16:10.481 day or at some stage they have five minutes. I 0:16:10.521 --> 0:16:12.681 can't remember the name for it. Somebody who's listening for 0:16:12.681 --> 0:16:16.201 they were Bearandeine because I haven't kept it secret. They baridine, 0:16:16.321 --> 0:16:17.961 but I can't remember what they call it. But it's 0:16:18.001 --> 0:16:21.601 five minutes where it's just quiet time to think about 0:16:21.601 --> 0:16:24.761 what they've got to do with their day. And that 0:16:24.841 --> 0:16:27.561 I thought, gosh, that sounds really like genius. I think 0:16:27.601 --> 0:16:28.321 they there yere. 0:16:29.121 --> 0:16:30.961 I mean in lots of ways, Catholic schools have been 0:16:30.961 --> 0:16:33.401 doing mindfulness forever because they've always started the day with 0:16:33.481 --> 0:16:38.641 career ands, and that repetitive nature sort of does the 0:16:38.641 --> 0:16:41.321 same thing as a mindfulness exercise. It brings you into 0:16:41.361 --> 0:16:44.681 that present moment, It ritualizes you into that environment. 0:16:46.001 --> 0:16:48.001 And kind of cop up of NATI schools have always. 0:16:47.761 --> 0:16:52.281 Started with you know, fucker tokey and and mehi and stuff, 0:16:52.281 --> 0:16:55.161 and that that's the same ritualized things we would start 0:16:55.201 --> 0:16:57.161 with our news when I was at my little country school. 0:16:57.761 --> 0:17:01.281 That they are the same ritualized routine sort of acts 0:17:01.321 --> 0:17:04.241 as us fall and mindfulness. So to sing it because 0:17:04.281 --> 0:17:07.321 singing generally flowers down that whole internal you know, especially 0:17:07.321 --> 0:17:08.561 the songs that make you sing a score. 0:17:09.121 --> 0:17:10.641 So you yeah. 0:17:10.881 --> 0:17:12.641 I'm making a couple of notes to myself as you're 0:17:12.641 --> 0:17:15.161 talking about this actually just but anyway, Hey, look, we'd 0:17:15.161 --> 0:17:16.921 love your cause if you've got any questions for Nathan 0:17:16.961 --> 0:17:20.681 Wallace and neuroscience educator on you know, if your kids 0:17:20.721 --> 0:17:23.281 are a little stressed or anxious, or you're worrying about 0:17:23.281 --> 0:17:26.081 how you're handling the whole thing, give us a call 0:17:26.121 --> 0:17:28.121 if you've got any suggestions as well on how you 0:17:28.521 --> 0:17:30.641 because we want to touch on the meltdown thing before 0:17:30.641 --> 0:17:34.241 we this hour as well. It is twenty four past 0:17:34.281 --> 0:17:35.761 five News Talks. It'd be the number of OZ eight 0:17:35.841 --> 0:17:38.201 hundred and eighty ten eighty text nine to nine two 0:17:38.441 --> 0:17:39.361 back in just to take. 0:17:39.401 --> 0:17:43.321 It'll lie nice to meet you to night, you eat, 0:17:43.401 --> 0:17:50.801 you go des get up a fussy esities life river song, 0:17:51.081 --> 0:17:51.641 You're together. 0:17:52.081 --> 0:17:55.921 Then let's welcome back or welcome into the parents squad. 0:17:55.921 --> 0:17:57.881 There's the week in collective Hunton Beverage. And my guest 0:17:58.001 --> 0:18:00.601 is Nathan Wallace is a neuroscience educator. Hey, by the way, 0:18:01.361 --> 0:18:03.921 when I give a job description, I say neuroscience educator, 0:18:03.921 --> 0:18:07.001 there will be people going, what is a neuroscience educator 0:18:07.041 --> 0:18:07.561 at Nathan? 0:18:08.081 --> 0:18:10.601 Yeah, Well I'm neuroscience. It's just how your brain works, 0:18:10.841 --> 0:18:13.361 and so it's really educating people about how your brain works. 0:18:13.881 --> 0:18:16.441 When really I'm a human developmentalist. That's my area of 0:18:16.521 --> 0:18:18.641 you know, sort of election in a university, human development. 0:18:18.921 --> 0:18:22.121 It's just that that's where neuroscience landed when at first 0:18:22.481 --> 0:18:24.801 They have their own department now, but they landed under 0:18:24.841 --> 0:18:26.521 human development when a first, because I was in the 0:18:26.641 --> 0:18:29.361 department of cognition, so come under me, and I was 0:18:29.561 --> 0:18:32.161 ended up being a lead trainer for a neuroscience organization. 0:18:32.561 --> 0:18:35.041 But really it's about wrapping together all of the you know, 0:18:35.041 --> 0:18:37.721 I'm been a primary school teacher and an early childhood teacher, 0:18:37.761 --> 0:18:39.681 and I spent most of my years working in child 0:18:40.081 --> 0:18:43.121 therapy so it's really bringing it all to you, you know. 0:18:43.241 --> 0:18:45.201 And I've been a foster parent and I was foster 0:18:45.281 --> 0:18:47.441 at myself, So it's really coming from lots of different 0:18:47.441 --> 0:18:51.681 angles of just understanding how to put that research, especially 0:18:51.721 --> 0:18:54.961