WEBVTT - Bree's dumb ass did some very basic calculations

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<v Speaker 1>We're playing it. It's ZM's Brian Clint, the podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Our producer, Claudia, came to us with information that I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not sure we wanted, but we got it anyway.

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<v Speaker 3>I definitely didn't want it.

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<v Speaker 1>Claudia, what did you reveal to us today?

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<v Speaker 4>The calculator app on your phone has a history. You

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<v Speaker 4>can look back and see the best thing you've ever done.

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<v Speaker 5>I think this is a real invasion of my privacy.

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<v Speaker 4>And it's none of my business.

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<v Speaker 3>It's none of my business.

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<v Speaker 5>And I don't think it should be my phone's business

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<v Speaker 5>or anyone's listening.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think it should be anyone's business.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, today I've made it my business.

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<v Speaker 2>All phones, by the way, no matter what type of

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<v Speaker 2>phone you have, there's a little clock symbol that you

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<v Speaker 2>can touch.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder.

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<v Speaker 2>And it will show you all the calculations you've done

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<v Speaker 2>on that calculator.

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<v Speaker 3>You know what it made me think?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>I wonder if someone's calculator history has ever been used

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<v Speaker 5>to convict them of murder.

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<v Speaker 4>Murder?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun.

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<v Speaker 3>I wonder if the police have ever been through someone's

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<v Speaker 3>calculator history.

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<v Speaker 1>Stop wasting time.

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<v Speaker 2>Stop wasting time so that we don't have to go

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<v Speaker 2>through your calculator history, all right?

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<v Speaker 1>Claudia, you have both of our histories.

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<v Speaker 4>I sure do.

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<v Speaker 1>Please present your findings.

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<v Speaker 4>What I would like to do today is I'll present

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<v Speaker 4>you two equations that you guys have done in real

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<v Speaker 4>life on your calculators and get you to choose who

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<v Speaker 4>you reckon did which one.

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<v Speaker 5>Okay.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Your first calculation, 2.6 minus 1.6. That is a tough one.

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<v Speaker 4>Versus 101 plus 3. I'm going to.

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<v Speaker 3>Say, are they both mine?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to say, I think they might both be Bree's.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, fair logic, but no, the first one was Clint.

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<v Speaker 1>What?

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<v Speaker 3>Suck it.

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<v Speaker 1>Suck on that. 2.6 minus 1.6.

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<v Speaker 4>Which for anyone playing along at home, the answer is 1. 1. Yep.

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<v Speaker 3>Even I knew that.

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<v Speaker 4>All right, here we go.

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<v Speaker 1>Hang on, hang on. You're so high and mighty over

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<v Speaker 1>there with what was Bree's one?

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<v Speaker 4>101 plus 3. I reckon that was an accident. Which is?

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<v Speaker 3>I reckon it was a... Which is? Which is? 101

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<v Speaker 3>plus 3 is.

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<v Speaker 5>104.

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<v Speaker 3>Well done.

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<v Speaker 1>Guys, come on.

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<v Speaker 4>Huh? How about these? 25 minus 10.

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<v Speaker 3>No.

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<v Speaker 4>Versus 19 minus 6. No. The 19 minus 6 is.

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<v Speaker 3>A harder one. I mean, yeah, I guess. I reckon

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<v Speaker 3>that's the harder one. I hope that's mine.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll have that one then.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I hope that's mine.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll have that one.

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<v Speaker 4>They're actually both breeze. Yes!

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<v Speaker 1>Vindicated!

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<v Speaker 5>The 19 minus 6, I stand by that one.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd still put that in the calculator, yep.

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<v Speaker 2>These are real equations, real calculations done on our phones.

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<v Speaker 1>Claudia's looking through our calculator history.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, how about 5 plus 10 plus 5 plus 5

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<v Speaker 4>plus 5 plus 5 plus 5?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, that was me. I think I did that on

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<v Speaker 1>the weekend.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, actually, that's true, which means Bree's won.

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<v Speaker 3>12 plus 4.

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<v Speaker 4>Shut up.

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<v Speaker 3>This has to be like a butt calculator. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Whose butt are you calculating?

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<v Speaker 5>I've matched it with my, you know, like a butt dial,

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<v Speaker 5>but the calculator version.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, right.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're saying your butt is stupid.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>My butt's an idiot.

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<v Speaker 4>My butt.

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<v Speaker 1>You're saying your butt didn't pass NCEA level one.

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<v Speaker 4>My butt.

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<v Speaker 3>My butt? Dumbest butt I've ever met.

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<v Speaker 4>Your butt is so dumb.

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<v Speaker 1>You dumb ass.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes. I like that. That was good. That was good.

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<v Speaker 4>Your last set of equations, 90 plus 4, a real

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<v Speaker 4>equation that one of you has done, and 9 plus 5.

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<v Speaker 1>Nah.

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<v Speaker 3>I stand by 9 plus 5. Is that mine?

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<v Speaker 1>Are they both Breeze?

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<v Speaker 3>They're both Breeze. Yes!

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<v Speaker 5>Again, my arse is a freaking idiot.

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<v Speaker 2>What were you working out?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have any idea what you were working out?

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<v Speaker 3>Um, I have not a clue.

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<v Speaker 1>Was it 90 plus 5?

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<v Speaker 4>19. Oh, wait, 9 plus 5.

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<v Speaker 5>9 plus 5 was, I think, the amount of brain

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<v Speaker 5>cells I've got left.

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<v Speaker 1>90 plus 4 is one of my favourites. If you

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<v Speaker 1>think you are so smart.

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<v Speaker 5>But I think when I'm using it, I'll be doing, like,

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<v Speaker 5>let's say I'm adding multiple things up, so I'll be

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<v Speaker 5>like 90 plus 4 plus this plus this plus this.

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<v Speaker 1>Was she doing that, Claudia? No, absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, maybe I got distracted halfway through as I was

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<v Speaker 5>doing it.

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<v Speaker 3>That's plausible.

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<v Speaker 1>She got to 90 plus four and she's like, that's enough.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, no, too much. No more for me.

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<v Speaker 2>If you are so smart, if you feel like you

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<v Speaker 2>are so smart, go into your calculator history, okay?

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<v Speaker 1>It's very humbling.

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<v Speaker 3>I never want to talk about this again.

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<v Speaker 4>We'll talk about it again and again.

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<v Speaker 3>You can talk to my ass because my brain ain't listening.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe Bree was trying to make a phone call from

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<v Speaker 1>the calculator, okay? You don't know. You don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Play ZM's Bree and Clint on Insta, Facebook, TikTok, and

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<v Speaker 2>live weekdays from 3 on ZM.