WEBVTT - Making crying at work cool again

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<v Speaker 1>You tapped it, so we're playing it. It's ZM's Brian Clint,

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to talk about crying at work.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>Because I feel like I want to normalise it and

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<v Speaker 4>I came across this woman. It's advice from a woman

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<v Speaker 4>named Joni who is an HR professional.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>So she works in HR. Yeah. So I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>she can weigh in on this.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>As to what she believes is appropriate when it comes

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<v Speaker 4>to crying at work.

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<v Speaker 2>Take a listen.

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<v Speaker 5>It's important to know that when you cry at work,

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<v Speaker 5>those are not regular things.

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<v Speaker 2>Those are business tears.

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<v Speaker 5>Those are professional tears. That's called having a professional cry

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<v Speaker 5>and it is part of your learning and development.

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<v Speaker 3>And.

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<v Speaker 2>It's tax deductible, actually.

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<v Speaker 1>I was going to say, those work tears are a

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<v Speaker 1>tax write-off.

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<v Speaker 4>And why would I cry at home when I can

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<v Speaker 4>cry at work on company time?

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<v Speaker 1>Some people have the same policy for hangovers.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>They go, why would I be hungover on my weekend

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<v Speaker 6>when I could drink on a Thursday and be hungover

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<v Speaker 6>on company time?

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<v Speaker 2>Makes more sense.

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<v Speaker 4>I say we normalise the professional cry.

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<v Speaker 1>I hear what you're saying. And we have a new

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<v Speaker 1>member on this team, and we're actually not.

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<v Speaker 6>We're not up to speed with how she is around

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<v Speaker 6>crying at work.

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<v Speaker 1>We haven't made her cry yet.

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<v Speaker 2>Should we inform her?

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<v Speaker 4>Because we've had a conversation around how often we cry,

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<v Speaker 4>which you always find fascinating.

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<v Speaker 1>This is in life, not just at work, Grace.

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<v Speaker 4>Which I want to get new producer Grace's take on it.

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<v Speaker 4>So us girls, Claude, how often were you crying?

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<v Speaker 2>Ebbs and flows.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Like, I'd say once a fortnight.

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<v Speaker 1>Once a fortnight. Once a fortnight.

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<v Speaker 2>Once every three weeks, maybe, was us. And then Clint

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<v Speaker 2>was twice a year.

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<v Speaker 1>Twice a year, yep.

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<v Speaker 2>Producer Grace, where do you sit? I'm probably more once

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<v Speaker 2>a month, once every two months.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay. It's good to know.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And how often are you crying at work? Well, I

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<v Speaker 2>haven't currently cried at NZME, like our job now.

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<v Speaker 1>You haven't cried in this building?

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<v Speaker 2>I've not cried at this building yet. Oh, I'm going to.

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<v Speaker 1>Feel so bad if you do.

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<v Speaker 2>If I cry, it's all your guys' fault.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>We're the common denominator.

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<v Speaker 1>Jono and Ben did not make her cry. No, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>But we may. Okay.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 6>Also, Claudia's inflated her numbers. I feel like last time

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<v Speaker 6>we checked in with Claudia, it was one to two

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<v Speaker 6>a week.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, sometimes, you know, ebbs and flows.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, ebbs and flows.

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<v Speaker 2>Once or twice a week.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I was feeling low.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah, remember last time we did this, she was in

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<v Speaker 6>a transitional period of her life.

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<v Speaker 2>I was going to say, that's what she was going through.

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<v Speaker 2>She'd just been through a breakup.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>So, of course, it was going to be more. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>now I cry for other reasons.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, here's a quick question. I'm around the room. Simple

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<v Speaker 4>yes or no answer. Have you ever cried at work?

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<v Speaker 4>New producer Grace.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes or no?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes.

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<v Speaker 2>Producer Claudia?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes. Brie?

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<v Speaker 2>You betcha.

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<v Speaker 3>Clint?

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<v Speaker 2>Clint. I would have to step in and disagree with you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, obviously you would, okay? I'm trying to be a

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<v Speaker 1>tough guy.

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<v Speaker 2>Why start now?

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<v Speaker 4>But I feel like Clint was crying at work, not

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<v Speaker 4>about work stuff, whereas I was definitely crying about work stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, not crying about work stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>You cried when Ella left. Oh, there you go.

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<v Speaker 1>That's technically work stuff. Oh, okay, that is work stuff. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I did.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 4>But have you ever cried in an important meeting?

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<v Speaker 1>Thankfully, no.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I love? You know what I love?

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<v Speaker 4>As I get older, I actually, because I used to

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<v Speaker 4>get really embarrassed about crying at work or in front of,

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<v Speaker 4>you know, in a meeting or something, which I don't

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<v Speaker 4>really do hardly ever anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>But looking back on it, I actually loved that I

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<v Speaker 4>cried in certain circumstances because it made that person feel uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>It can be a superpower. We want to know what

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<v Speaker 1>the last work cry was, when, and what it was over.

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<v Speaker 3>There it is.

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<v Speaker 2>Franklin.

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<v Speaker 1>Jacques caught up. Hi, Jacques.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Jacques.

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<v Speaker 3>Hello, guys. How you doing?

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<v Speaker 2>Good, thank you. Mate, did you ever cry at work?

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<v Speaker 3>I did have a massive cry to the point where

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<v Speaker 3>I think it was a mental breakdown.

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<v Speaker 1>No, Jacques, what happened?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, so I was going through a bit of a

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<v Speaker 3>process at work where we were restructuring the company. Stressful.

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<v Speaker 3>I was on the list to get cups.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>But I was also going through a breakup.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, no.

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<v Speaker 3>Seven years, three kids. I walked into work and it

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<v Speaker 3>was just completely overwhelming. I sat at my desk and

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<v Speaker 3>put my hands between my legs and I just... Absolutely

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<v Speaker 3>lost it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, Jacques.

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<v Speaker 3>And through that process, though, I think they ended up

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<v Speaker 3>feeling sorry for me.

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<v Speaker 1>And they kept you on.

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<v Speaker 3>They kept me on and eight months later I got

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<v Speaker 3>a fat promotion.

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<v Speaker 4>That might be the best work cry ever in existence

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<v Speaker 4>because it got you, not only did it save your job,

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<v Speaker 4>you got a promotion out of it.

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<v Speaker 3>Exactly that. Hey, I think they looked at me and

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<v Speaker 3>they went, this guy's a complete waste. You know, he's

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<v Speaker 3>mentally broken. We cannot make him.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we cannot.

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<v Speaker 3>And, yeah, look, I didn't save my relationship, but work

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<v Speaker 3>worked out well.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't win them all.

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<v Speaker 2>You got one.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, Bree, he's trying to normalise the workplace cry.

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<v Speaker 6>I feel like getting a big, tough South African man

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<v Speaker 6>on the phone, admitting to a full meltdown at work.

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<v Speaker 2>You're a great advocate for the work cry, Jacques. Thank

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<v Speaker 2>you very much.

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<v Speaker 3>Not for the spring box, though, but, yes, for the workforce.

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<v Speaker 1>We appreciate you, Jacques. We asked, when was your last

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<v Speaker 1>workplace cry?

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<v Speaker 6>Someone said, I hate my new job and I'm crying

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<v Speaker 6>a couple of times a week at the moment.

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<v Speaker 4>Can I just say to that person, I feel like

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<v Speaker 4>life's too short. If you hate your job that much

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<v Speaker 4>and you're crying multiple times a week because of stuff

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<v Speaker 4>that's happening at your job, leave.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, like you don't need that. You can go

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<v Speaker 4>find another job that doesn't do that to you. Like,

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<v Speaker 4>cause I feel like that's way too much.

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<v Speaker 3>You're right.

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<v Speaker 1>Life is too short.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 6>I had a cry at work because my boss denied

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<v Speaker 6>my time off to visit my long distance boyfriend. And

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<v Speaker 6>then my boss said, I hope that's not too upsetting

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<v Speaker 6>for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Isn't that funny?

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<v Speaker 1>While they were crying.

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<v Speaker 4>Isn't it funny that when you're teetering, It's certain things

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<v Speaker 4>that people will say. Normally it's like asking how you're

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<v Speaker 4>feeling or are you okay. That sets you off for

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<v Speaker 4>a cry. So that person going, I hope that's not

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<v Speaker 4>too upsetting for you.

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<v Speaker 3>No, no.

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<v Speaker 1>They said that while the person was crying. So they

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<v Speaker 1>said no to their annual leave. They start crying and

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<v Speaker 1>then the manager goes, hope that's not too upsetting.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, what an a-hole then.

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<v Speaker 1>Clearly I'm crying.

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<v Speaker 2>Why would you say that? God, that person shouldn't be

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<v Speaker 2>a manager.

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<v Speaker 4>Someone else said, I cried so often that my manager

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<v Speaker 4>said he was making a day since last incident board,

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<v Speaker 4>but for days since I last cried in a meeting.

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<v Speaker 4>I hope you've got a good relationship with your manager

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<v Speaker 4>because if you do, then I love that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But if you don't, then I'm fuming.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome, everybody.

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<v Speaker 6>It has been four days since Brie last cried in

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<v Speaker 6>a meeting.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's a pretty good run.

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<v Speaker 1>See if we can make it five.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a self-employed tradesman.

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<v Speaker 6>A couple of years ago, I worked seven days a

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<v Speaker 6>week for five months on the trot. I had such

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<v Speaker 6>a heavy workload because I kept saying yes to the work,

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<v Speaker 6>but I was absolutely done.

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<v Speaker 1>One day, I had a wee eye wet by myself

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<v Speaker 1>on site.

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<v Speaker 2>I had a wee wet eye.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, bless. By golly, I.

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<v Speaker 6>Was making some stupid money, but I've learned to say

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<v Speaker 6>no and protect my weekends.

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<v Speaker 1>For the most part. The work-life balance. 100%. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>maybe you need it.

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<v Speaker 3>That's even sadder.

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<v Speaker 1>You work alone and you have to have your workplace

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<v Speaker 1>cry alone.

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<v Speaker 2>That's pretty sad.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But good to see that you learnt your lesson.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And you're like, no more seven-day weeks.

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<v Speaker 1>There you go. Thank you, everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>Have a cry at work tomorrow, you know. See how

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<v Speaker 2>your manager reacts.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah. Just for fun. Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, the intern Sophie, she's all for the work cry.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Play ZM's Brent.

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<v Speaker 2>TikTok and live weekdays from 3 on ZM.