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Speaker 1: The z M podcast network, please would and Haley's little

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Speaker 1: bit of pod treat yourself to mcathay coffee with my

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Speaker 1: macas rewards.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to a little bit of pod.

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Speaker 3: As I opened my mouth to share this, I don't

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Speaker 3: know how much of it I'm going.

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Speaker 1: To reveal, okay, not that I ah, Okay, listen, all right.

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Speaker 1: I did a gig and palm over the weekend, and

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Speaker 1: I think I think the gig went well. It was

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Speaker 1: really go to thirty minutes to a crowd and Ashhurst.

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Speaker 1: It was part of actually a school fundraiser, oh okay.

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Speaker 4: And.

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Speaker 1: Mixed crowd, rural folk. Maybe not my general go to audience.

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Speaker 2: Office girlies and normally your.

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Speaker 1: Office bitches with all them basic office bitches. My new crowd,

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Speaker 1: and they lap up every word I say. And so

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Speaker 1: I saw this crowd and I was like, I wonder

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Speaker 1: how they'll go. And you know, it's almost too late

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Speaker 1: at that point to sort of changing material or Tryeah.

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Speaker 2: Right, and a crowd, I guess it's a fundraiser. So

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Speaker 2: everyone and anyone is there.

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Speaker 4: Everyone.

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Speaker 1: It was real mixed bag. There was some old marching

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Speaker 1: girls from Leisure Marching there. There were some young office

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Speaker 1: pitches there were some of my crowd there, some older gentlemen,

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Speaker 1: some rural folk. Interesting mixed bag, and I think the

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Speaker 1: gig went fine considering I mean, you guys know, my

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Speaker 1: material was sort of a mix of my last two shows.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, that was fine. It went fine,

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Speaker 1: But I definitely lost them on one story. And I

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Speaker 1: even saw a gentleman, probably my parents, aged in his sixties,

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Speaker 1: towards the front, who diverted his eyes at one point

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Speaker 1: and just sort of been.

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Speaker 2: Like, and I feel you.

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Speaker 5: Now, this is an older man, rural setting.

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Speaker 6: He probably has birthed cows, Nature's grimace stuff. What on

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Speaker 6: earth could you say to discuss an old boy who

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Speaker 6: famously when they go out, love to flirt with hot

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Speaker 6: youngs such as yourself.

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Speaker 3: Well this is a wow.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Sony got it. I really needed that today

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Speaker 1: to confirm that I look great. Well, here's the thing is.

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Speaker 1: I went out for a pint of guinness with Ben,

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Speaker 1: my friend who was running the gig beforehand, and we

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Speaker 1: were chatting just as mates and telling stories of days

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Speaker 1: gone by. And I told him a story and he

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Speaker 1: was like, fuck, that is so funny. They've done stand

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Speaker 1: up about it.

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Speaker 3: And I was like, no, I haven't, and he was like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, you should.

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Speaker 4: It's such a funny story.

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Speaker 1: So I just sort of chucked it in willy nilly, unpracticed, unstructured.

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Speaker 2: On that night, you decided to test new material on

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Speaker 2: a rural crowd of old mates.

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Speaker 3: And it wasn't material like a crafted joke.

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Speaker 1: It was just a yarn, like a funny story that

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Speaker 1: I thought was funny, right, and it just wasn't funny.

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Speaker 4: I lost them. Oh just tell it.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't mean yes, please, Okay, I want to know

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Speaker 2: what this was. Okay.

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Speaker 4: My mom would be like, why are you sharing this?

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Speaker 4: Because I'm not.

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Speaker 3: It's just like it happens to people.

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Speaker 2: Right, But are you going to do it like it's

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Speaker 2: stand up like you did?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 4: No, I'm just.

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Speaker 1: Going to tell you the story because the stand up

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Speaker 1: didn't work. And this is why I'm telling the story here,

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Speaker 1: because I'll never make it into stand up again.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I don't know whatever.

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Speaker 1: Okay, when I was single and I had some fun, right,

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Speaker 1: and I one night had slept with.

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Speaker 4: This person and that was fun.

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Speaker 1: That was fine, whatever, And as part of the story,

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Speaker 1: a detail I think that is really important for the

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Speaker 1: story is when I slept with them on a couch.

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Speaker 4: Whose line is it? Anyway? Was playing in the TV?

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Speaker 5: What was the lineup?

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Speaker 2: Anyway?

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Speaker 5: Ryan Styles was there? Ryan Styles?

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Speaker 7: Is there?

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Speaker 3: Was there?

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Speaker 2: I did a little bit hard to maintain an erection.

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Speaker 5: Was it Drew Carey hosting with the woman that care

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Speaker 5: might have been the fourth member?

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Speaker 2: Yea?

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Speaker 3: Anyway, so like whatever, that's all fine.

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Speaker 1: And then a couple of weeks later, I I don't

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Speaker 1: even know if I've told you the story before. A

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks later, I was up in Auckland. I

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Speaker 1: was doing some work and this is where I lived

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Speaker 1: in Wellington. And I was doing some work and I

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Speaker 1: was driving and if you know New Zealand, particularly no Auckland,

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Speaker 1: I was drive along K Road, which is full of

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Speaker 1: either homeless people, homosexuals, drag queens or sex workers.

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Speaker 6: And I mean, I wouldn't say that that would have

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Speaker 6: only I mean, I lived K Road for like ten years,

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Speaker 6: but it's per capital that were represented were.

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Speaker 5: Working gentrified now.

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Speaker 1: I know, yeah, the old days of K Road, particularly

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Speaker 1: the working ladies. And I was driving along. I was

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Speaker 1: driving along the road and I got a phone call

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Speaker 1: and it was from this person that I had slept

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Speaker 1: with on the couch.

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Speaker 4: Whose land is anywhey.

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Speaker 3: Is on to inform me that he had an STI?

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Speaker 2: Okay, and it happens.

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Speaker 4: It happens, it happens.

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Speaker 1: So we I took the phone call. I thought, this

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Speaker 1: is before I had I had a nineteenninety two Mitsubushi mirage.

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Speaker 1: There was no Apple car play, so I couldn't be

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Speaker 1: on my phone, and so I said, oh, hang on

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Speaker 1: a second, I'm just going to pull over. So I

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Speaker 1: pulled over to the side of K road where I

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Speaker 1: took the phone call, where this gentleman informed me that

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Speaker 1: I should go and get checked because he has discovered

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Speaker 1: that he has an STI. And I while I was

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Speaker 1: on the phone receiving this information, being like, oh god,

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Speaker 1: this is really inconvenient. I'm not at home. I'm really

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Speaker 1: I've got to go to the clinic. Da da da

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Speaker 1: da da. A lady opens up the side of my

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Speaker 1: car and gets in my working lady and I'm on

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Speaker 1: the phone.

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Speaker 2: She wasn't just in quiet.

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Speaker 1: She gets into my passenger seat while I'm on the

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Speaker 1: phone being told that I may have chlamydia, and.

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Speaker 5: What's not the love of other story?

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Speaker 1: She sort of gives me a bit of a face.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, to this guy, hang on a second,

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Speaker 1: and I said.

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Speaker 4: Can I help you? And this sex worker.

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Speaker 3: Was like can I help you?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, well no, and she was like,

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Speaker 1: I saw you see me and pull over and I said,

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Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, I've pulled over to take a

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Speaker 1: phone call.

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Speaker 3: And she was like, oh, so you do. Do you

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Speaker 3: not want to do anything? And I was like no,

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Speaker 3: I'm roodled with the car, I said.

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Speaker 1: I said to her, and trust me, you don't want

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Speaker 1: to sleep with me, and then she left the car.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, that's the end of the story.

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Speaker 2: At which point did this old man ooh the story.

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Speaker 1: When I mentioned then, when I mentioned that a sex

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Speaker 1: worker got into my car as I was being told

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Speaker 1: I had chlamydia, and he just I think he was

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Speaker 1: just like.

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Speaker 6: I think he was doing that because you know where

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Speaker 6: I had too close to home.

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Speaker 5: Same things happened to him, and he wanted to distance

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Speaker 5: themselves from the rumors.

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Speaker 7: As he's being outward at his discussed Imagine that either

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Speaker 7: that or he was coming along to this gig to

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Speaker 7: see you, hoping you'd be that same gentle lady that's

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Speaker 7: on the bank off.

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Speaker 3: Who hosts the off?

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Speaker 2: Yep?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And here I was with a six worker and my

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Speaker 1: cart be told that the person that I had slept

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Speaker 1: with on a couch, well whose land is it anywhere?

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Speaker 1: Was playing in the bad crimes and then I should

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Speaker 1: go get tested.

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Speaker 2: I think we talked about it. I had the same thing.

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Speaker 2: I had a call. I pulled over on Manchester Street

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Speaker 2: when I was in christ was the street? Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: then someone banged on the window and I was like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm not I'm on the phone.

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Speaker 1: I love that this was this was well over ten

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Speaker 1: years ago, fifteen years ago.

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Speaker 4: I love that she just got in Yeah. I mean

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Speaker 4: maybe that was the way.

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Speaker 6: Maybe that was the I've had a knock on the

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Speaker 6: window just off K Road was because I didn't know

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Speaker 6: where to park. We were going to a place on

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Speaker 6: K Road and I didn't know where to park, so

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Speaker 6: I pulled over to again text someone to be like

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Speaker 6: where way park?

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Speaker 5: Yep, and knock knock.

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Speaker 2: But that was different because you actually got a hand

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Speaker 2: job Jesus.

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Speaker 4: Spacer in the car. Yeah, leave empty handed.

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Speaker 6: Now I had the cash rattling around in the drinks

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Speaker 6: holder and annoy.

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Speaker 4: And that's forty.

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Speaker 5: Opened that peanuts slabs all yours.

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Speaker 6: At the end. I'm not pre paying a peanuts slave.

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Speaker 6: You don't pay, that's a bonus.

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Speaker 4: That's that's an aship.

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Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, totally Yeah, and leave the glove box open love.

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Speaker 2: We might need those whit wipes. Holy Ship.