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Speaker 1: From the Zidium podcast Network.

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Speaker 2: It's Fleetborn and Haley's a little bit of pod Welcome

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Speaker 2: to a little bit of pod homies.

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Speaker 1: Listen. I understand that some people have a real passion

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Speaker 1: for the for the bidet. Often when you travel over

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Speaker 1: seas of Japan or whatever, people love a.

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Speaker 3: Bidet as a bidet to do it yourself.

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Speaker 1: No, that's a budget bidet.

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Speaker 3: Ho in southeast you see those in the cold number

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Speaker 3: two nothing like a cold jet of water.

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Speaker 1: On the no, no, no. Yesterday I was visiting. I

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Speaker 1: was visiting the house of a stranger. This wasn't a

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Speaker 1: hock cup, by the way, this was a professional okay.

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Speaker 1: And I said, Misscoozie, where's the toilet busting for a slash?

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Speaker 1: But there was there was a sentence I chose to

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Speaker 1: go with, and he was like, oh yeah, walk here there,

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Speaker 1: and then he sort of guided me through the house

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Speaker 1: right into the toilet, and I was like odd. And

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Speaker 1: then I saw the toilet and I was like, oh, okay, one,

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Speaker 1: it's it's ugly as all hell, right because it's one

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Speaker 1: of those bidet in the toilet things with like a

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Speaker 1: wall panel of buttons.

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Speaker 3: And I had one of the I had one of

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Speaker 3: these ash. It was an attachment on the toilet in

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Speaker 3: Vietnam at a hotel, and it was it was booty.

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Speaker 2: It could warm this whole toilet multidirectional jets.

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Speaker 1: Okay, here's my thing. To the second thing, I clocked

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Speaker 1: there is no toilet paper, so the bidet is a

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Speaker 1: must use.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Now I only needed a WII, and I tried with

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Speaker 1: all my mind to change that, but it was wheeze

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Speaker 1: only just.

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Speaker 3: Because you're like, well, I'm here, I may as well

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Speaker 3: try it.

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Speaker 1: So I do. My I sit down and he sort

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Speaker 1: of says like, yeah, this sort of the thing. He's like,

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Speaker 1: push a few buttons and have a bit of a go.

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Speaker 1: And I was like all right. So he leaves me

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Speaker 1: and I sit down in a urinate as I'm want

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Speaker 1: to do. How it comes as per usual, urination completes,

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Speaker 1: it's time to sort it out. Usually in my home,

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Speaker 1: I would roll a small amount of toilet paper around

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Speaker 1: my hand. Damn, I dab, I don't wipe. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be so rough with her. Dab dab dab dab

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Speaker 1: dab flush and we got we got, we go, We've

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Speaker 1: got here. I'm like, okay, so I look at the buttons,

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Speaker 1: and I see jets like little logo, and so I go,

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Speaker 1: that's it. That's what a bidet does. It's gonna sprits

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Speaker 1: me in the fanny and that'll be the cleaning bit done.

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Speaker 1: So I pushed there and then hmm, and then warm

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Speaker 1: jets of water like like bull's eye my anus.

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Speaker 2: Do you think there is.

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Speaker 1: Like I couldn't have possessions.

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Speaker 3: Thirty five gits nigh and done boom like straight into

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Speaker 3: the center of the anus.

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Speaker 1: Warm water. Okay, Now I didn't do anything from the anus,

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Speaker 1: so this is completely are miscessarily at this point, do

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? But the anus is getting

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Speaker 1: a bonus plane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't believe the accuracy at which this thing jittered

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Speaker 1: me in the anus. But the fandango's left unwhited. I mean,

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Speaker 1: at this point, I've dripped, dried, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of like I'm over it.

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Speaker 3: And then so I don't like, wait, so the button's

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Speaker 3: right behind you, because they're on the side were a

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Speaker 3: toilet roll would normally go.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean, no toilet roll numb.

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Speaker 2: It is wild.

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Speaker 1: So I do that and then I and then I

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Speaker 1: see wind moji, So I warm breeze the anus. So

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Speaker 1: the anus despite doing no work as crystal plane.

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Speaker 2: Now are we talking at Dyson level?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: No, no warm or cold like a like a mall

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Speaker 3: hand dry.

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Speaker 2: But that's nice.

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Speaker 1: Though it was all soft and light.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't like inflated like a fucking balloon.

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Speaker 3: No, you catch is a loose left opens and just fill.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to hire pol ear compressor? No, no.

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Speaker 1: So so I'm here with my fresh anus, and but

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Speaker 1: I've pee, and so I push another button to try.

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Speaker 2: To get the china okay.

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Speaker 1: And it does another one where it sort of runs

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Speaker 1: a stream from front to back.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, you're back. You're back on the water.

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Speaker 1: I'm back on the waters. And it's it has it's

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Speaker 1: it's collected the front were of weight, but it's also

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Speaker 1: given the anus a secondary clean. So I now I've

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Speaker 1: cleaned the anus.

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Speaker 2: Great, it's so full on.

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Speaker 1: And then I had to dry it again with another

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Speaker 1: did the dryer moved forward because it knew now that

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Speaker 1: that's when I was doing.

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Speaker 2: It's almost like a car I was going to say,

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Speaker 2: like a car wash, because the

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Speaker 1: Third button had this big flat