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Speaker 1: It's Dean, It's deemed. It's for all you.

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Speaker 2: Med bastards loving the Big Show podcast, Get up even

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Speaker 2: closer on Instagram, YouTube and ticked off for for targets

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Speaker 2: for to seven every weekday on radio.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, man.

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Speaker 1: Mogie, you're still on the darries.

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Speaker 3: I beg off them again, man, I make you're going

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Speaker 3: through the last couple of days a bit of depression. Actually, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I understand. I'm just drinking too much purse sure, and

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Speaker 3: I don't mean getting apple stay up bladeh blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: But I know I just need to stop drinking because

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Speaker 3: when I drink, I smoke.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 3: And so I'm actually at a point now where I've

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Speaker 3: been banging on about it and I normally never do

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Speaker 3: this or normally say it, and then I do it,

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Speaker 3: and I just got.

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Speaker 4: A real period of self loathing loathing at the moment.

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Speaker 3: What are you doing? You know what you need to do?

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Speaker 3: Stop being a useless see your next Tuesday? Do you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean? And that's that really came over

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Speaker 3: me probably Sunday and yesterday, yes, and then yeah, so

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Speaker 3: yesterday it was day one, Jason. In other words, I

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Speaker 3: got the missus to poor water on my last packet

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Speaker 3: of cigarettes, so I'll see what kind of a horror

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Speaker 3: of a mood I am. I normally don't get too angry,

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Speaker 3: but I am just gathered with myself. It's so weak,

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Speaker 3: yes week.

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Speaker 1: Well no, look it's not. But I know what you mean.

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Speaker 1: Let me just say, I know what you mean. And

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Speaker 1: you know, particularly for people like you and I who

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Speaker 1: drank the way we do. Yeah, there's no stearing the

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Speaker 1: horses pugs, and that's not.

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Speaker 3: What I'm well, although I am, I'm not what I

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Speaker 3: used to be in that regard. I'm a lot better,

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Speaker 3: but it's just like everything about it. You just need

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Speaker 3: anything like that, You've got to have a break. And

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Speaker 3: if there's no break, yeah, how to appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: I reached that point over the holidays too, where I went,

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Speaker 1: you know what, you know, if you I've got to

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Speaker 1: stop doing ship that's killing me. You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: I know I've got to stop doing it. And interestingly enough,

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Speaker 1: you know we had I had a counseling session today

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Speaker 1: as I do on the tuesdayail, and you know, going

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Speaker 1: about dealing with stuff like I perpetually have chronic anxiety,

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Speaker 1: even though I seem like a very chill, laid back,

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Speaker 1: you know, high five, Hey, J's in the room. Sure,

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Speaker 1: but I have chronic anxiety and like I had that

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Speaker 1: over the holidays where I was like, I'm done with

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Speaker 1: this fucking shit. I need to start fucking dealing with

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Speaker 1: it better. Was Yeah, well, the anxiety, the anxiety, but

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Speaker 1: certainly the smoking. It's just been shockingly bad because the

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Speaker 1: anxiety has been bad. And so you know, when you're

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Speaker 1: feeling bad.

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Speaker 4: Are you on medication?

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Speaker 1: Nah? But when you're feeling bad, you do bad shit

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Speaker 1: like drink, and.

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Speaker 3: Isn't it And as soon as you said that, so

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Speaker 3: as soon as you said that, as soon as you said,

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Speaker 3: you know, I've got to stop doing shit that kills us.

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Speaker 3: And we've been down the stroad. If you've been listening

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Speaker 3: to this podcast for any length of time, you've heard

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Speaker 3: this conversation, yes, fifty times and fin but that you go,

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Speaker 3: you go, well, what have I got?

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Speaker 4: Then? What have I got? Where does the pleasure come from? Yes?

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Speaker 3: Family, Yes, well yes, but it's like, but you need

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Speaker 3: you're doing something more. But my thing is if you're

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Speaker 3: taking a break, like with darts and drinking, if you're

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Speaker 3: taking a break and it's now and again, then I

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Speaker 3: think that's fine.

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Speaker 4: But it's when it's every.

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Speaker 3: Single day or every single weekend and it's affecting other

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Speaker 3: things in your life. Yes, that's when I don't think, oh, well,

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Speaker 3: obviously you shouldn't be doing it. Yes, And my my

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Speaker 3: ceiling for that is a lot lower than most people.

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Speaker 3: Most people will go out, make a fall of themselves, blackout,

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Speaker 3: have anxiety and all of that, and they'll do that

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Speaker 3: twice a weekend, and they'll do it every weekend and

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Speaker 3: then you know, yes, but my limit is much lower

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Speaker 3: because I already had that when I was much younger. Yes,

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Speaker 3: so I don't and I've got too much on the

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Speaker 3: go with things outside of radio and all that sort

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Speaker 3: of stuff where you're just like, man, yeah, well obviously

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Speaker 3: can't risk it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I can't risk it, and everything just becomes

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Speaker 1: so hard. And I know that. You know, it's really interesting,

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Speaker 1: you know, where's the where's the fun part?

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Speaker 4: Then?

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Speaker 1: If I'm not doing the person if I'm not doing

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Speaker 1: the cities, where's the fun part of my life? But actually,

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Speaker 1: like just talking for myself personally, those aren't actually fun

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Speaker 1: for me anymore, right, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: I know the purse definitely isn't.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, so I need to find other ways

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Speaker 1: of having fun, which I've started to do with certain things.

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Speaker 1: But you've got to take action. You've got to take

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Speaker 1: action on the ship.

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Speaker 3: And this is exactly And so for me, I'm somebody

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Speaker 3: that needs to have a very structured plan. So I

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Speaker 3: can I can say, oh, this is the idea about

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Speaker 3: how I'd like things to go. But if I don't

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Speaker 3: actually go five o'clock in the morning, get up and

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Speaker 3: go to the gym, yes, yes, six o'clock in the morning,

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Speaker 3: take my dog for a walk, seven o'clock, play with

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Speaker 3: a kid until eight eight. You know, if I don't

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Speaker 3: have that kind of structure in place, yes, within three days,

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Speaker 3: it's out the fucking window. You forget about it, and

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Speaker 3: you're just straight back into those old habits I don't have.

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Speaker 3: You can't do it from memory or inclination, or because

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Speaker 3: you've got no muscle memory. Your muscle memory is by

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Speaker 3: well not you know, not one hundred percent, but is

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Speaker 3: bad habits. Yes, you know, you just do these things

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Speaker 3: and it's enough and blah blah blah. But I've just

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Speaker 3: got to add a lot more structure. I was talking

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Speaker 3: about the wife a battle as well, and we're both

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Speaker 3: on the same page with it. But yeah, I just

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Speaker 3: got into a real rut with it just going and

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Speaker 3: I very really get down about things, very raally. Yes,

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Speaker 3: but I was yesterday and I was fucking over it.

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Speaker 3: And just because I'm gassed at myself. Yeah, and I

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Speaker 3: will you know, today I was better about it and

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Speaker 3: tomorrow will be completely fine.

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Speaker 1: But it's just yeah, going going through that ship. And also,

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Speaker 1: you know when you do stop doing that stuff, you

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Speaker 1: do actually naturally feel better.

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Speaker 3: Oh well, then if I can, if I can get

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Speaker 3: through a weekend, yeah, yeah, and that's what's annoying. But

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Speaker 3: then something will come up and there'll be fun. And

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Speaker 3: then the other thing is where I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 3: that's where am I getting my fan And then I'm

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Speaker 3: doing this gym stuff and I'm actually getting pretty much

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Speaker 3: the same results as I was last year when I

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Speaker 3: drank no piss at all. Now I found out I

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Speaker 3: can actually drink person get the same results.

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Speaker 4: Who Racky Beech Show week days from four on Radio

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Speaker 4: Hurarchy Big Show Podcast.

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Speaker 3: The reason why I do that is because I want

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Speaker 3: to know that I've got control over the addiction.

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Speaker 4: Now this time around.

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Speaker 3: I haven't proven that I do, yes, right, Yeah, So

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Speaker 3: so there's some steps that need to be take.

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Speaker 1: Cunning little bastard Pagsan, it's a tunning little bas and

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Speaker 1: you know, and you add to it too the beautiful

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Speaker 1: weather you know like that, and parties and ship like that.

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Speaker 1: It's a fuck I you know, during the summer, I

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Speaker 1: always struggle. I used to used to always have to

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Speaker 1: walk past the Empire and there's always people out on

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Speaker 1: you know, every night when you walk into the car

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Speaker 1: park with a massive glistening glass and frost frosted, and

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Speaker 1: you're like.

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Speaker 3: I always just imagine those people with horrendous home lives.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, that looks good there, But what about when

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Speaker 3: they go home and a fight with their misses fucking

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Speaker 3: piece of ship tomorrow morning. You know, you gotta you've

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Speaker 3: got to try and see the other.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And if I had to just stuck to what I

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Speaker 3: said I was going to do, I would have been

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Speaker 3: coming into summer sweet.

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Speaker 4: But now yeah, I sort of.

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Speaker 3: I guess I can still fit in six weeks or

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Speaker 3: eight weeks maybe even what are we in anyway?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I've seen you when you're on a mish Man.

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Speaker 4: You'll fucking get there.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, That's what's annoying is that it's the first

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Speaker 3: time I've ever not done it. Yeah, every single time

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Speaker 3: I say I'm going to do it, and I do it,

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Speaker 3: And this time I don't know what. Maybe it's from

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Speaker 3: having the businesses. Sure, and that's just seven days a week,

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Speaker 3: you know, long, long hours, and I think I just

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Speaker 3: need a valve. Yes, and drinking Kapli beers and smoking

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Speaker 3: heaps of darts and having a laugh is pretty good.

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Speaker 3: And it's easy. It doesn't require me to catch up

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Speaker 3: with other people. I can do it alone in my bedroom. Pigs.

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Speaker 5: That's a dream, baby, But it's right.

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Speaker 3: But I should be playing golf and I should be.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's funny these things that you dedicate your

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Speaker 3: time to. Right, you go, okay, well I'm gonna I'm

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Speaker 3: going to get fit. If I had dedicated the same

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Speaker 3: amount of time to learning today, or learning guitar, or

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Speaker 3: going and playing golf, or catching up with mates making

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Speaker 3: those phone calls, I would have a more fulfilled life, Yes,

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Speaker 3: in a different way. Right, I could have done all

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Speaker 3: of these other things. So it's not necessarily just doing

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Speaker 3: the gym, although I think exercise is good for the mind.

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Speaker 3: I think it's got to be. Yeah, things, I've got

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Speaker 3: to be on the plate. And maybe I'm over the gym.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well I'm going back to the gym tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah right, fuck you man, getting your purve back on.

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Speaker 4: I was a little bit, was all there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well for me, it's like fishing and golf and

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Speaker 1: so yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 4: You do have that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, going out you know with my wife at dinner

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Speaker 1: and going to movies and shit like that. Just getting

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Speaker 1: out of the house and doing stuff is really important.

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Speaker 1: And I've actually got quite good at that of going no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you are going to go and do that. You're not

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Speaker 1: going to fucking not do that.

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Speaker 3: The other thing, it's like me and the wife wanting

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Speaker 3: to go out and stup that because we've got a

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Speaker 3: young kid. Every time you walk out the door, it

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Speaker 3: cost you one hundred and two hundred bucks to get

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Speaker 3: a babysitut, so well we're trying to save money so

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Speaker 3: that you can't do that, so then you don't go out.

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Speaker 3: But then I was thinking about that on the way

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Speaker 3: because I get invited to some movie premier yere thingy

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Speaker 3: or something, and I said, I do you want to

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Speaker 3: gagec Well that's going to be one hundred and fifty

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Speaker 3: hundred pok. So you're absolutely right. You stay home. I'm

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Speaker 3: going yes, you know, and we'll swap them out. But

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Speaker 3: you've got to get out of the fucking house.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 4: You've got to get out of the here us.

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Speaker 1: And old pugs. Yeah, man, how you doings? You're good?

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Speaker 1: You're asking man, you said you said to me just

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Speaker 1: a while back there, Tuesday suck, they do.

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Speaker 4: I'm finding that they do more and more.

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Speaker 5: Like I'm pretty good on Mondays because I'm excited to

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Speaker 5: get back to the show. Yeah, and then Tuesdays, you know,

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Speaker 5: it's a lull.

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Speaker 4: I'm not.

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Speaker 5: I'm not, for goodness sake, I'm not in the wet blanket.

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Speaker 1: About your weekend.

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Speaker 3: Well, that'll be a heavy duse, wouldn't it, because normally

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Speaker 3: you have a terrible Tuesday. That's classic.

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Speaker 5: Well, yeah, the old second day, come doowns. No, I

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Speaker 5: didn't have any m D you may think you, Mike, No,

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Speaker 5: I did have a great weekend, Jason.

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Speaker 4: I know how you did.

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Speaker 1: Man, that's fantastic. You're a great look at me, You're

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Speaker 1: a great example for us listen, listen.

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Speaker 5: I I appreciate that you guys are you know, you

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Speaker 5: can acknowledge what it is that you guys want to

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Speaker 5: be working on and stuff. Obviously I don't have the

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Speaker 5: same relatability, but I think you guys are in the

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Speaker 5: right right kind of mindset.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you want to be.

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Speaker 5: I mean, you're great with your your your pleasures, Jason,

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Speaker 5: what your what you're committed to doing for yourself.

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Speaker 3: You know, but you just need some days behind you. Yes,

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Speaker 3: because he went to get some days and you're like, wow,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to start again.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, there you go New Zealand, Suki Lala for

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Speaker 3: your Tuesday, which.

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Speaker 4: Is a battle. There will be people out there bling.

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Speaker 1: Oh fuck you all over the proper place. That's the problem.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's where I get half my content from.

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Speaker 1: From the battlers on the street out there. Come and

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Speaker 1: say good day to old hardy Jay.

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Speaker 4: That's all your personal stuff. So you're not seeking out either.

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Speaker 4: It's just kind of funny way, yeah, do it.

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Speaker 3: Unbidden unbiddendenbidden erection is normally where you'd find the.

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Speaker 1: Word yes, an unbidden erection.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. One of the great one of the great phrases I.

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Speaker 1: Think, I think so too. Do you get many unbidden erections? Pucks?

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Speaker 5: I get a few, Man, it happens to the best

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Speaker 5: of us.

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Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: Good shit, mate, Have a geeze at the Instagram at

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Speaker 5: Hdarky Big Show, and of course, most importantly, listened to

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Speaker 5: The Hodarkeey Big Show four to seven every weekdays, every weekdays,

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Speaker 5: every weekday. And check out the YouTube tube Jesus Radio

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Speaker 5: Hodarchy on YouTube good stuff Parks.

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Speaker 4: Sorry, it's my umbu in direction